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[bakatenshii]

this is true this is facts but also sawa is my phub, my xvid, my xham, i have any lewd thoughts n I go sprinting over <33

"I could look it up but it's more fun asking friends" gang

[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 3)

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2)

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: a brief and half-assed description of theoretical male masturbation.  that’s it.  lol.

moodboard by @evnscvll​, if you’re not following her what are you doing with your life???

As the afternoon was just starting to wind down into the evening, you went for a stroll along the side of the lake; it was your new daily routine in this place, and you’d done it every afternoon for the past several days.  You found yourself looking for Sebastian outside, and being oddly disappointed when he was nowhere to be found.  It took you a bit to appreciate that the strange feelings and behaviors you were exhibiting were a crush.  You hadn’t had one in so long, not since you’d met your husband, that you almost forgot what it was like.  This one felt particularly childish, exceptionally misguided, as you knew so little about the man.  What was it that made you want to be around him anyways?  There were plenty of guys you’d met since getting married that were, on paper, worthy of a crush.  Successful, kind, good-looking... who knows, maybe if you’d been lonely and desperate and saw one of them hammering nails shirtless in the sun, you’d have been in the same predicament you are now.

And that was exactly why you needed to get your mind off this guy ASAP.  You were just projecting your loss onto him.  You’d been feeling neglected and unattractive because of everything that had happened with your husband and he had been kind to you.  And helpful.  And handy in a way your husband had never been.  And so devastatingly hot.  

He must know, right? you thought to yourself as you took in the scenery, just barely making out grey-ish shadows of mountains in the distance.  He must know that he looks like that, and exactly the effect he has on women.

...And a decent portion of men, probably.

The idea of him being overwhelmed with attention of that nature made you feel slightly jealous.  He was probably the exact kind of person you weren’t in high school: a heartbreaker.  Yes, this was the narrative you needed to keep yourself from falling any further into this crush; you two were sworn natural enemies-- him the heartbreaker, you the heartbroken.  A guy like him probably didn’t even give a girl like you the time of day.

Except, he had.  He’d been friendly and attentive.  Maybe he works for tips or something?  Why else would he be giving you any of his energy?

No, that was specifically not the line of thinking you needed at the moment.  Does he think about me when I’m not around?  Could he think of me as much as I think of him? you found yourself wondering anyways.

Either way, he could never beat me at overthinking, you smiled to yourself.  I always win at that one.  

You’d almost spent too much time outside; it was nearly too dark to see by the time you made it back to the cottage.  Clearly the bustling city had trained you to stay up late, but out here, you had no recourse if the sun set while you were outside without a flashlight.  

It was so late, in fact, that Sebastian was nowhere to be found when you passed through the living room— and since he was certainly not working outside with no light to use, you figured he’d gone to bed.  By now you knew where his room was, but you’d never seen it.  Not that you wanted to.  It was none of your business.

Making your way up the stairs, you tried to avoid the creakiest spots in case he was asleep.  It wasn’t that late though, he was probably just… doing whatever people do before bed when they don’t have a television.  Reading a book, maybe?  

You shook your head to no one in particular.  You shouldn’t be thinking about him so much.  God, having a crush was exhausting.

Oh god, what if he, you know… took care of himself, before bed?  It’s a fun way to end the day and wear yourself out for sleep, certainly.  You felt your face turning hot just imagining him in such a compromising position.  You didn’t even mean to imagine it, it just sort of happened.  Maybe right now, just as you were struggling to keep quiet on this rickety old staircase, he was trying to keep quiet as he stroked his cock, the muscles in his arm flexing with each movement, that perfect bottom lip caught between his surprisingly white teeth.  

Probably not.  But it was a nice thought.  

Just as you stepped into your room and shut the door behind you, you thought you saw something in the corner of your eye.  Turning to look, you realized that there was a rat running across the floor.  With an embarrassingly girlish scream, you ran and jumped on your bed, trying to see where it went while keeping elevated; you know, just in case it tried to run up your leg like in a cartoon or something.

Creaking outside alerted you that someone was running up the stairs.  Your door flew open to reveal Sebastian, wearing only pyjama trousers and a very concerned facial expression.

"Este totul în regulă?"

"There's a rat!" you screeched.

"Ce?" he asked with a furrowed brow of confusion.

You tried to explain, but how could you?  Pointing to where you saw it last, it was gone, so you turned back-- only to see it running towards him!  Screaming again, you pointed to the rodent barreling towards his feet and, finally, he understood.

In fact, he understood your situation better than you realized he would, so much so that he jumped up on the bed with you with a blood-curdling scream of his own.

"Şobolan!" he yelped, and you weren't sure there was room on this bed for two people afraid of rats but here you were anyway.

You both watched it scurry into a corner, and he seemed to relax a little.

"What are we going to do?"

"Stai așa," he said as he raised a finger as if to indicate 'wait', "ma voi intoarce."

He lept from the bed straight to the open doorway and dashed down the stairs.  You figured he might come back with a broom or jar, so you were beyond surprised to see him come back with an enormous shotgun, quickly pumping it and bracing the stock against his shoulder.

"Unde este?" he asked quickly, closing one eye to look over the sights.

You nearly screamed your protest.  "Jesus, Sebastian!  Don't shoot it!"

“Ce vrei sa fac?!” he squawked in reply.

“I don’t know!” you replied.  “Just put the gun down!”

He looked a little disappointed but lowered the barrel.

Hearing a squeak and a scurry from the corner of the room, you jumped off of your bed and found yourself hiding behind Sebastian.

“Nu sunt la fel de curajoasă pe cât crezi,” he said as he turned back to look at you.

“I can’t sleep here,” you admitted with a sigh.  “We can set a trap in the morning, or hope it escapes on it’s own…” you trailed off, talking mostly to yourself as you made your way back downstairs.  Sebastian shut the door quickly with a shudder before following behind you.

You pulled a blanket off of the loveseat as you passed through the living room, dragging it with you to the couch.

“Nu te pot lăsa să dormi pe canapea!” he protested when you laid down and covered yourself with it— after leaning the gun against a wall, thank god.  You wondered where it was normally kept for him to have grabbed it so fast.

“I can’t sleep in my room,” you explained. 

“Poți să dormi în patul meu,” he announced, pointing down the hall.  

“What?”

“Poți să,” he repeated slower, pointing to you, “dormi,” he laid his face on his hands and feigned sleep for a moment, “în patul meu,” he pointed to the hall again.

“There’s another bedroom down the hall?” you asked as you sat up a little, not having realized there was a third bedroom.

“Da,” he nodded with a smile.

You got up, the blanket still wrapped over your shoulders, and followed him to the room down the hall and around the corner.

As he opened the door, you smiled but sighed as you realized you couldn’t sleep in here.  The bed was still disturbed from where he’d jumped out of it; there was a picture in a frame by the bed.

“Sebastian, I’m not going to steal your room just because I’m afraid of a probably-harmless rat,” you sighed.  “I’ll take the couch—”

You turned to walk back into the living room but his arm across the doorway stopped you.

“Te rog ia-mi patul și voi dormi pe canapea,” he instructed, motioning away from his chest towards the living room to, apparently, indicate he would sleep on the couch in your place.  

“I can’t let you—”

He gently grabbed your wrist, getting your attention.

“Nu e nicio problemă,” he soothed.  “Noapte bună!”

He basically just shoved you into the room after that, shutting the door behind you.  You supposed it was the best option, but you still felt a little guilty that he was being kicked out of his own bed.

You turned and looked at the very bed in question.  Realizing you should change the sheets, you began to search the room for a linen closet or chest that might have a spare set.

You weren’t intending to snoop, per se.  You really just wanted the sheets… but it was a nice glimpse into the personal life of a man you knew so little about.  A room says a lot about someone, of course.

The picture on the bedside table was of a family with a small boy; it looked like it had been taken by an instant camera, the sepia tones evoking a bygone era.  You assumed that the boy was Sebastian, considering the faint resemblance.  He looked happy, and so did his mother; his father less so, but it seemed stoic more than negative.  Next to the photo was a card which rested partially open— thankfully, you couldn’t read it even if you wanted to, but you could also see the signature inside from where you were standing: “Iubesc, Mama.”

You weren’t sure if it meant ‘love’ or ‘sincerely’ or something else, but it made you smile.  You figured his mother must miss him with him living in Hungary for work.  You wondered if anyone missed you back in London.

A lot of his clothes were strewn in a pile on a chair in the corner.  Relatable.

Inside a small white paper box, you found a silver locket— oddly enough, no picture inside.  While ignoring the fact that you obviously were snooping because you would never look for queen-size sheets in a white paper box, you wondered why he would have something like that.  Maybe it was a relic from a previous relationship, and hopefully not a current one; maybe it was his sister’s or his mother’s.  Hell, maybe it was his: you weren’t the sort of person to say a guy couldn’t rock a silver locket.  He had the masculinity to spare, surely.

You gave up after searching the closet and the side bathroom and finding no sign of linens.  Surprisingly, he owned a lot of shirts.  They didn’t seem to get much use.  He wouldn’t mind if you stole one to use as pyjamas, right?

Pulling a soft button-up from the hanger, you stripped and changed into it, loving how small you felt with it on.  You snuggled up into the sheets and took a deep breath as you realized you were surrounded in the smell of him.  Oh, this was a very dangerous game to play.  You needed to be avoiding this infatuation, not indulging it by playing girlfriend.  It was almost like you two shared this bed, like he would come back any moment and pull you into his arms, kiss you goodnight.  You saw the light from the living room go dark through the crack under the door and felt another pang of guilt for his night spent on the old sofa.  Maybe in the morning you could convince him to take a day off or something, just so he could relax for once.  

Your last thought was of him as you drifted to sleep.  You wished you could say that wasn’t true of every other night.

The next morning came early; he slept with the shutters open, something you hadn’t noticed when it was dark out.  The sun shined directly into your eyes at about six in the morning.

“Must be an early riser,” you mumbled to yourself as you got up and used the side bathroom, splashing your face to perk yourself up a little.  When you left the hallway tentatively in pursuit of breakfast, all that was left of him was a Sebastian-shaped dent in the couch.  As you began to make a pot of coffee, you heard someone step into the kitchen behind you.

“Good morning,” you greeted as you turned around and smiled at Sebastian.

“...Cămașă mea,” he realized, pointing to you with raised eyebrows.  You glanced down and remembered what you were wearing, feeling yourself blush a little.  Maybe you should’ve put on pants…

“Oh, this… yeah, sorry, I hope you don’t mind…”

“Îl porți mai bine decât mine,” he shrugged, and it seemed to be a vague approval, so you kept on making the coffee. 

“You want some?” you offered, pointing to him and a mug as he stepped past you and sat at the table.

“Nu, mulțumesc,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand.  You nodded and poured your own, sitting across from him and sipping quietly.  You hadn’t noticed he was holding a book before; the shirtlessness, as always, distracted from that sort of detail.  But now that he pulled it out and continued from where he must have been before, you laughed a little.  It was clearly a Romanian translation, but the title was Dracula.  

“Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” you giggled.

He looked up from the book at you, and you pointed to it.  “Ah, Dracula!” he said.

“Yep, I’ve read that one.”

He made a little hissing noise, holding his fingers up and curling them, and you realized he was doing a vampire impression.  You laughed again.  

“You don’t make for a convincing vampire, what with the healthy glow and all,” you smirked.  “But feel free to bite my neck any time.”

For a second he made a serious, almost shocked face like he had somehow understood what you’d said, and you straightened up from sudden fear.  But he only nodded and returned to his book, relieving your anxiety a bit.  You realized that just because he didn’t speak English didn’t mean you could say whatever you wanted; maybe you’d given more away than you meant to with your facial expression.  Or maybe he really had no idea that you’d said anything notable at all and it was just a coincidence.

Maybe you needed to change out of this man’s shirt before it drove you even more insane.

~

@mariahthelioness29 @navybrat817 @navegandoaciegas @mandalorianspace @2smittinkittin @maizyistrash (it won’t let me tag you :(( fuck tumblr) @honeygingergemini @msmarvelwrites @honeyloverogers @toozmanykids @dangertoozmanykids101 @fleeingdawn-blog1 @readermia @fanfuckingtastic04 

[sqwood-tentl]

15 question game

@srirachafilledbees ty i love these

nickname: anoosoo, a knee sa, patrick

zodiac: aquarious 

height: gnome (4′11)

last thing I googled: "parse int char java”  for comp sci hw 

song stuck in my head: Kocci Muite Baby - Ryo/ Supercell/ Miku

number of followers: 285? fairly certain 98% of them are bots lol

hours of sleep: idrg what this is asking. on avg i probably sleep abt 6 hrs. But ive noticed if i dont have an alarm i will sleep p much until the clock is the same number lol. example: when i go to bed at 2 am i wake up at 2 pm, if i go to bed at 4 am ill probably wake up abt 3:30pm. and then i get tired all day it sucks >:0

lucky number: 2 bc my birthday is 2/2/2002 

favorite song: too many/changes too often. Rn its probably Kocci Muite Baby or Stuff That I Like - Bomb the Music Industry  

favorite instrument: i play flute so ofc that is my #1 (for rn). But i also love the sound of violin and other bowed strings. And i rlly like deeeeep sounding things where u can almost feel it, so also bass and cello. And drums are in a category of their own. listening to drums isnt even like listening to music its an experience. i wanna learn how to play drums.

dream job:  i have many interests, and hobbies, and interests i want to turn into hobbies but am too broke for. I feel like if i became skilled enough in any one of them to make a living from it, while also being able to maintain a good work-life-balance, id be cool w that. The bar is set so low but somehow still seems impossible. fuck capitalism.

aesthetic:   i was very into the ocean/nautical aesthetic until abt 2015, then i was SUPER into forest/cottage in the woods aesthetic (and still am), i guess today would fall under “cottage core” but i have some arguments about that. [I could probably write an entire essay on this but this is the extremely cut down version: From what i perceive from the main apps i use, instagram, youtube and tiktok, it seems like there was a huge rise in popularity in cottage core aesthetic starting about Dec 2019. My main problem is, my own definition of what cottage core matched with what i saw online up until this big boom of cottagecore, and now it seems like what i think is *not* cottagecore is being called cottage core. But with something as conceptual and subjective as an aesthetic, it is really defined person to person, based on everyones own opinions and experiences and way of categorizing things. Plus language is defined by its speakers, so technically, the general definition of cottage core will always be whatever the majority of people define it as, at the time of definition. What i think happened is, when it got really popular, the range of what “fits” into cottage core widened alot, so while my aesthetic still falls under cottage core, it may fit better in a subcategory (a recent necessity) or entirely differently named aesthetic. Either that, or it was never cottagecore in the first place. again this is based on the content i see from the couple apps i primarily use, which is really only a sliver of all the cottagecore content there is]. My other aesthetic is dirty feral subway rat eating pizza under an incoming train and chainlink fence at 5pm in october No i will not elaborate.

favorite author: i cannot remember the last time i read a book that didnt eventually cause me too much stress to remember anything positive about it or the author

favorite animal noise: my husky when he go OOWWWWRRROOOOOOOO

random: I have synesthesia and alot of ppl with synesthesia say its helpful but i think mine hurts more than it helps lol. also, unrelated, i used to want to be a sniper. 

(idk who to tag. anyone can do it but if u do, tag me in it i like reading these :)

[bakatenshii]

Kenma-nii is a desperate little fucker. He's a virgin, naturally. Never touched or even thought of a woman like that before until he realized how nice and plump you actually are. Your tits, your ass, your fat cunny when your sleep-shorts ride a little too high and squeeze in just the right places. He'll hump at anything you touch, savors the lingering smell of your skin on the couch, and humps at it like a feral rabbit until his cock twitches in shorts and he cums. Definitely scrunches his nose.

I..... have nothing to add to this. This is perfect as it is. Stunning. Incredible. A Masterpiece. Shakespeare’s resurrecting from the dead to steal this from you and claim it as his own.

TW: 18+, incest, implied somnophilia

Kenma-nii thinks he’s being sly when he starts stealing little things from your room; it’s never anything big, never anything important, it’s not for practical purposes anyways.

Everything in your room is drenched in your smell, everything in your room oozes you, so everything in your room is enough to get him rocking his hips into his fist with the other hand gripping the loot of the day.

There’s enough to build a shrine, it’s a sheer miracle you don’t realize. You don’t notice how he nicks the pillow you were sitting on from the sofa, don’t notice the stains on the fabric the next time you bring it under your crossed legs. It’s the closest thing to your cunny that he’ll allow himself to savour, any more and he’ll tip the scale, cross the line, it’s a slippery slope and he knows this all too well.

Humans are greedy. Kenma is greedy.

There’s no guarantees that he won’t climb into bed the next time you’re asleep to hump away at your plump ass, marveling in the soft warm breaths that fan on his hand supporting his body. No guarantees he won’t pull aside those slinky night shorts and bury himself in your plump pussy and breed his baby sister.

So he doesn’t. He’ll stick with stealing nick-nacks from your room, bury his face in it and breath you in, and paint his cotton briefs with ropes of sin.

[bakatenshii]

hi angel. i am here yet again to discuss *the* thirteen centimetres.

may I please direct you to another analysis (with manga caps) of his thirteen centimeters (attached to his palm, not crotch) that I made 6 months ago, and young naive angel didn’t know what was yet to come.

for reference, the vaginal canal is roughly between 7.5cm-12.5cm (3-5inches) which means tomura’s middle finger alone, palm not included, is able to prod the entrance of your cervix. he can wrap his other hand around your throat perfectly, pinky up and all, and pick you up by the throat.

thirteen centimeters is larger than some cocks, and with the agility and flexibility of his fingers, he can make you come undone clenching around his one singular finger over and over again from different angles, pressing into your g-spot, your a-spot, grazing your puckered lil cervix.

thirteen centimeters is long enough to perfectly hook into the corners of your mouth as he pounds into you from behind, long enough to press into your mouth and feel your tongue swirl around it while his cock is milked by your warm tight walls.

in short— tomura’s hands are massive and will be the death of me, no quirky pun intended.

[bakatenshii]

angel i now wholeheartedly believe that you're just looking for a kuromi/melody kind of relationship (f.ex minu [?]/ angel, ryuk/angel, kunimi/angel, etc.)

GOOOOSEYYYYYY omg ryuk I’m HAHAHAH, I see it!! oh my god, I saw a ship dynamic that I really identified with and it’s:

but make person B more actually mean & rude & an asshole and u got my dream relationship <33

[bakatenshii]

alternative universe where tenko is nothing but an idiot fan boy in love with the super cool decay villain, Angel (dunno ur villain name,, just know that ur villain origin story is super based... n ewayzz). he stays up all night reading manga, fanfiction about Angel and he even has figurines of her worked into his gaming set up.

I— I’m .... I’M ......... THIS IS A LOT THIS IS TOO MUCH I’M SCREAMING, PTERODACTYL SCREECHING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS I— AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙 𝐵𝑎𝑘𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑖 [𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑]

𝐵𝑜𝑟𝑛 19𝑡ℎ 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑒, 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 5𝑡ℎ 𝐴𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑙. 𝐴 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆ℎ𝑖𝑔-𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑟, 𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑡-𝑒𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑎𝑠𝑡, 𝑣𝑖𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑟.

𝐶𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ: 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑠𝑘.

[bakatenshii]

big neet cock smol nervous virgin discord boyfriend

i just came untouched

[bakatenshii]

okaY but think of mr compress as a cowboy for a second... JUST THINK!!

right now is the right time to say I wanna yeehaw on his cock all night, ride it like I’m at a rodeo, please oh my god oh my god I can barely handle regular canon Mr. Compress and you want me to picture him in a hat with a ciggy dangling out his mouth and two guns resting on his hips?

He probs still has marbles with him that he uses to play drinking games with mates at the pub, or just to keep in his hand to fidget with. Oh my god maybe instead of marbles he fiddles with gun pellets, imagine playing russian roulette with him, imagine—

him sitting back on a creaky wooden chair in a crowded bar, the heel of his heavy boots digging into the back of your skull as he shoves your face into his crotch as he leans back and fires his gun for shits and gigs, I’m gonna lose it

[bakatenshii]

please stomp on my face miss

I could never stomp on ur pwetty face sawa kithes only cmere lemme smooch smooch

that’s my man, I’d be there mouth wide open ready to be waterfalled by his mountain dew piss mix <333

he’s just tryna cleanse him from the inside out!! and I would help him as a dutiful good gf hehe

u might just do, I am Loyal and Dedicated to my God one (1) Shigaraki Tomura ʕ̡̢̡̡̢̡̡̢♡ᵒ̴̷͈艸ᵒ̴̷͈॰ʔ̢̡̢̢̡̢̢̡̢✧

[bakatenshii]

if oikawa says "ya-hooo" when cumming does that mean that kageyama yells "BOKE HINATA"? - xoxo, goose fairy sara.

GET OFF OF TUMBLR N FOCUS ON SCHOOL U DWEEEEEB SAWA

but yes he does, he screams ʙᴏᴋᴇ ʜɪɴᴀᴛᴀ!! when he cums and I think that’s glorious ꈍ .̮ ꈍ bokuto also screams HEY HEY HEY when he cums, and kenma screams LEGENDARY or GODLIKE, or maybe just a cheeky poggers <33

[bakatenshii]

no thoughts just skate rat semi breakin ur exes windshield and side mirrors :)

[bakatenshii]

ever had ramen so good you nearly cough out a blood vessel?

yes. ramen is always delicious. I’m only 60% human, the other 40% is ramen. I make a bangin ramen, come fly over my loosey goosey n I’ll make sure we cough out til we got no blood vessels left <333

[bakatenshii]

i feel like you'd smack me on sight if you ever saw me irl because my nails are crusty, and bit down ;v;

I WOULD NOT, I could never do that to u sawa sawa I’ll kith them all ova (ΘεΘʃƪ)

dey r da tru nails of a skate rat nd I would not have it any otha way hehehe <33

[bakatenshii]

you're so cute angel :3 i think i've said this before but, your blog is seriously a safe haven for me! every day after i finish working on school i allow myself to rest a little. i scroll through the blr for a while, and then i open a separate tab and start typing in bakaten until the lil link shows up <33 thanku for bein a lil pink ray of sunshine<3

i will cry and die for u a million times over sawa sawa

IM FLAPPIN MY LIL WINGS OVA 2 PICK U UP SO WE CAN GO CACAW OFF AND LIVE IN OUR LIL CABIN IN DA WOODS WITH OUR GOOSEYS HEHEHE <33

[bakatenshii]

uhmm.... angel... not to be rude but um are you okay? i mean obviously i'm not one to judge but uhh grapefruit was uh... yeah sheesh not the best😬 still love you though sugarplum ;)

SAWA I— COAOSOAOAOAKAOAOAOAOAIA

im screamiNGGGG LMAOSOAKAO i love u i truly do im sorry u had to experience that monstrocity plz forgib orz