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epicbuddieficrecs · 6 months

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Weekly Recap | March 11th-17th 2024

That premiere guys!!!!! Was so good!!!!! I'm so excited to be FINALLY be a part of the fandom while the show is actually airing! 😃 Can't wait to read all the amazing fics that are gonna be spawned from season 7!

Speaking of that, I would like to encourage everyone to use the relevant Ao3 tags when writing fics based on S7 content! Not everyone can watch the episodes as they air, so tags are really essential for people who don't want to get spoiled! (I could even make a separate post about it? a sort-of "how to tag" post?). In case you want to block some tumblr tags, my main tags for S7 are #911 season 7, #911 on abc, or #911 spoilers.

(Posting this one day early cause I don't feel like waiting until tomorrow! Enjoy! 😆)

Complete

i find peace in your smile by goforeddie/@iltrpls (A/B/O AU | 1K | General): They’ve been courting for a few months now. It’s agonizingly slow, but it’s still the best time they’ve ever had. You might think that after six years of walking on eggshells around each other, half a decade of “will-they-won’t-they” they wouldn’t be taking such a slow time with courting, but it's precisely everything that they’ve been through that makes them appreciate things a little better.

Birthday Flowers by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie | 2K | General): OR: Buck gets Eddie flowers for his birthday.

🔥 if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, Identity Porn | 45K | Teen): OR Buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has PTSD and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently.

Lime Jell-O by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (S7E01: Abandon 'Ships | 3K | Teen): Eddie Diaz didn't panic. Or, well... Maybe he did. Sometimes. But he was working on it.

take the bed warmed by the body by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): It’s three parts bravado and one part reminder. He thinks about it, sometimes, his first shift at the 118—he doesn’t think either of them quite knew how much they’d meant it when they’d promised to have each other’s backs. He definitely hadn’t known, then, that he’d wake up one day and wonder why Buck isn’t in his bed. Because that’s what’s missing. He has a vague memory of falling asleep with his head resting against Buck’s shoulder, their legs tangled together.

Taken Space by Wildgirl93/ @wildlife4life (S7E01 Coda | 1K | General): Eddie and Marisol talk about the space that has already been taken.

Feel Like I Landed On The Moon by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Canon Divergent | 1K | General): OR: Eddie is pining for Buck while in Texas.

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 98K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

53. A Dream You've Had Before (Explicit) 54. We're Definitely All Sluts Here (Explicit)

if you love someone by chronicallystendan (Pre-Buddie | 1K | General): Buck and Eddie both internally panic when a song comes on the radio that seems to be talking directly to them.

adventures of firehose and eightpack by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Social Media fic | 1,5K | Mature): Or: Eddie stumbles upon Buck's old twitter account.

Two, Three Times in a Row by Leslie_Knope (PWP | 6K | Explicit): “We could’ve gone again.” Eddie snorts. “I’m old. You expect me to get it up twice?” “Yes,” Buck says, like it’s a given, like duh. “I could get you to do it right now.” The entire world pauses, and Eddie actually feels it, the bolt of arousal slinking down his spine all the way to his toes. He wets his lips. “Right now?”

WIP

🔥 miracles under your sighs and moans by napricot (Sex Pollen, PWP | 1/2 | 13K | Explicit): When Eddie gets exposed to an experimental aphrodisiac on a call, he realizes there’s only one person he trusts to help him get through it: Buck.

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 9/10 | 63K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

if you know anyone that is not tagged, please tag them in the comments!

#buddie #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #epic buddie fic rec

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foxy-eva · 2 years

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Till Death Do Us Part

Summary: You didn't expect grief to linger after Emily came back from the dead

Request: Could you do a hurt/comfort with Emily x reader and it involves Emily coming back after dying please?

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x GN!Reader

Category: angst with a hopeful ending

Content Warnings: (16+ for sexual themes) references the storyline of S6E18 and S7E01, mentions of death and the 5 stages of grief, crying, arguing, religious metaphors, implied sex scene (non-explicit)

Word count: 3.2k

Masterlist

Denial

Seven months after I dropped a single red rose into my girlfriend's grave, I found her standing in front of the door of where we used to live together. It wasn’t completely surprising, considering hours before I had received a phone call from a very excited Penelope Garcia, asking me if I had heard about it yet.

She had to explain to me what it was four times until I slowly started to understand her words. However, they still didn’t make any sense. For weeks we had mourned the loss of Emily together, sharing beloved stories and looking at pictures of a woman unlike anyone else. There was no way I could believe her when she repeated the words Emily is alive over and over again until I hung up on her out of desperation.

Now that she was standing in front of me, it was even harder to believe that my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. More than once had I sensed her presence since she had passed, staring at raven-haired strangers on the street if they only resembled her in the slightest. It had never been her, so why would it actually be Emily now?

“Hi, love. I missed you,” she cooed with a shy smile on her face.

I took my time looking her up and down, noticing how the depth of her irises was still the same but a few slight wrinkles were framing her eyes now. Her hair had grown quite a bit since the last time I had seen her. Still, nothing about this made any sense, so I closed the door shut in front of her and stepped back to take a breath.

My girlfriend died seven months ago.

Emily is dead.

For a moment I wondered if she would just unlock the door and step in like she used to do after coming home from a case. But Agent Hotchner had given me her set of keys along with her other belongings when he personally informed me of her passing.

Just when I had convinced myself that I was stuck in a particularly long and cruel nightmare, another knock against my door pulled me back into what I couldn’t believe was reality.

“Please, open the door and let me explain,” Emily pleaded from the hallway.

Stepping closer to the door once more, I considered opening it but decided against it. It was too painful to look at her again, too risky to find out none of this was real and I would lose her all over again. With my back pressed against the door, I sank down to sit on the floor with my arms wrapped around my knees.

“Go away,” I kept whispering over and over again until I heard footsteps moving away from me.

Finally, this nightmare was over. For now.

I spent the following day in blissful ignorance until my phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number.

I’m staying at the Rosewood Hotel, Room 241. Let me know whenever you’re ready to talk. xx Emily

I didn’t even question it when my body started moving, it was so deeply embedded in my subconscious to follow her calling that I only realized that I was standing in front of her hotel room door when it was already too late. Two firm knocks announced my presence.

Anger

I didn’t give her a chance to say anything as I walked into her room with rage boiling in my chest. Several times I tried to open my mouth but nothing came out. It was impossible for me to even look at her, too painful the realization that she had willingly left me alone with all this pain. My cheeks burned so hot that I feared the tears streaming down my face would evaporate immediately.

“You have every right to be angry,” she reminded me once she realized the state I was in.

It was then that I managed to lock eyes with her. She tried to come closer but I stepped back until my heel met a wall. Emily raised her hands to show me her palms as if I was a caged animal getting ready to show their fangs. In a way it felt like that.

After what felt forever I managed to get out my words, hissing, “How could you do this to me, Emily? I thought you loved me.”

“I do love you! This was the most difficult thing I ever had to do, you have to believe me. It wasn’t like I had a choice.”

I huffed at her words as they stung in my chest. “You could have taken me with you.”

“It would have put you in great danger. It was pure luck that Doyle never found out about you in the first place.”

Her voice was calm as she tried to explain what I would never be able to understand. I remembered the Agents watching out for Doyle's return in front of my house but he seemed to have moved on from Emily after killing her.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about him? After you died I felt like I never actually knew you at all. There was so much you hid from me,” my voice broke at the last words as sobs started wrecking through my body.

Too painful was the memory of finding out that the woman who I considered my soulmate hadn’t been honest with me from the start. She had fooled a criminal into falling in love with her, so it made sense that I started doubting her love for me as well. There was this whole other side of Emily only a selected few had been aware of - and most of them were gone now.

“You know it isn’t that simple.” Her words sounded almost like an apology.

“It should have been! I trusted you, Emily. And you… you just left me behind with all this pain! How was I supposed to ever recover from losing you?”

“I am so sorry. I truly am,” she whispered. “I thought I had lost you, too.”

“You did,” I snarled as I walked back to the door.

“(Y/N), please…,” she breathed.

With my hand on the door handle I lingered for a few moments, desperately trying to collect myself and wrap my head around what was happening.

“What did you think would happen now? That we could just continue where we left off?”

“Not exactly,” she admitted with a tremble in her voice.

After taking a deep breath, I turned around to face her once more, my heart stopping for a moment when I noticed the glistening in her eyes. It was very rare for Emily to let anyone see her vulnerable side. I could probably count on one hand all the occasions I had seen her crying since we met on a cold October day three years ago.

She bit on her lower lip in an attempt to hinder her tears from falling but it was in vain. I knew that her pain was sincere when she started crying but I still contemplated leaving her then. As I tried to push down the door handle, my body stopped complying and walked towards Emily instead.

It was as if I acted out of muscle memory alone when my arms swung around her neck to hold her inside my embrace. She seemed just as surprised as me but didn’t resist, instead she buried her face into the crook of my neck while my hands slowly brushed over her back to soothe her pain.

More than once had I longed for a touch like that when I was grieving her loss. The scent she had left on her side of the bed had disappeared after a few days, no matter how often I tried to remember how it smelled. Breathing her in now brought me back to those lonely nights of fantasizing about her still keeping me warm.

Bargaining

When I felt her hot breath against my neck, it was as if something inside me snapped. All of a sudden I was sure that we could make this work, that we could make up for the time lost between us. With my hand in the nape of her neck, I turned her head so she would look at me. I placed my lips on hers without waiting another second.

Her surprised gasp was muffled by my kiss and I expected her to pull back any moment, but she didn’t. After the initial shock of my unexpected move had passed, Emily reciprocated my enthusiasm. Her hands seemed greedy as they got ahold of my waist, gripping the fabric of my shirt firmly to hinder me from moving away.

She smiled into our kiss and pulled back slightly to catch a breath. But oxygen wasn’t what my body demanded in this moment, so I closed the distance between us once more. Time stood still while our mouths moved against one another as if no time had passed between us. When her tongue met mine it felt as if we would merge, making it impossible to determine where her body ended and mine began.

However, there was still a moment of doubt when Emily leaned back and whispered, “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“I don’t care,” I answered. “I need you, Emily.”

I need you to be alive, Emily.

I need to feel alive, Emily.

It became clear to me that we could undo all the damage if we just tried to love each other hard enough tonight. All my anger vanished once I felt her soft lips kissing my touch-starved body as hungry fingertips buried into supple flesh. With clothes discarded and heaving chests we fell onto her hotel bed to get lost inside each other’s arms.

I smiled against her skin when I remembered desperately praying to an unnamed deity to bring her back. A ridiculous thought now that I realized that Emily was the only goddess I had ever known. She had the power to undo the damage and show my fragile soul some mercy. Tasting her felt like having the first droplets of water after wandering the desert for seven long months, a lenten period that finally came to an end.

When she brushed along my trembling body with fingertips that had never felt warmer, she let any trace other’s had left on me in her absence vanish. How pathetic were those attempts to replace her with people whose names I didn’t even remember, false gods I seeked out in hopes to find redemption.

It never worked with anyone else but her.

I fell to my knees to sing her my hymn of praise and she answered my prayers again and again, her way of making up for the time lost between us until we both fell limp into each other’s arms. There was no distance to be found between our chests as our hearts thumped hard against their confines in an attempt to touch as well.

As sleep dulled my senses I found peace in the thought that loving each other harder than ever before would certainly be enough for us to make it through this.

But what was possible in the moonlight, by the morning seemed insane.

Depression

It felt as if I was still stuck in a dream when I woke up with Emily sleeping next to me. I was convinced that I was caught in that brief moment between being asleep and waking up where my brain liked to grant me some comfort by not letting me remember that she was gone. Only when she reached out her hand to make contact with my bare skin did I realize that I was awake. And Emily was alive.

I couldn’t help but shy away from her touch, stumbling out of bed and collecting my scattered clothes from the floor. It was too much for me to see her, to remember my ridiculous attempts from last night to make everything okay.

Because the truth was that nothing about this was okay.

Before I could leave her for good, I made the mistake of locking eyes with Emily one last time. In all those years I had the pleasure of laying my eyes on her, I always thought that she looked the most beautiful right after waking up. Everything about her looked so soft and fragile in the morning. That changed quicker than I thought possible.

The pain that was painted all over her face felt like a dagger to my heart.

“Please don’t leave,” she breathed as I averted my eyes from her.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

I tasted my own tears as I stepped out of her room, saline reminders that things would never be the same. Memories of tracing Emily’s ocean-kissed skin with my lips resurfaced and refused to be pushed away. It was my mind’s way of trying to convince me that I was making a mistake as if I hadn't already known.

After days passed of me being alone in my misery, I decided to seek out the only person who might understand at least a fraction of what I was going through. It felt familiar to walk up the stairs to Penelope’s apartment while I was crying, as I did so often right after I had lost Emily - the first time.

Penelope didn’t ask any questions when she saw me standing in her hallway, instead she pulled me into a tight hug as sobs wrecked through my body. There was no need to explain to her that I knew that I should be happy about Emily coming back but I just couldn’t. Not yet at least.

After what felt like hours, I had finally calmed down a bit, sitting beside Penelope on her couch in comfortable silence. She was petting her cat while sharing her space with me, waiting for me to be ready to talk.

“I slept with her the day after she came back,” I confessed.

Penelope couldn’t hide her surprised expression when she asked, “You did? Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t talked to her since. It was a failed attempt to pretend we could continue where we left off.”

“Do you still love her?”

“Of course I do,” I muttered. “I’m just not sure I can forgive her for leaving me.”

“I know it’s not the same but I was mad at her at first, too. But now I understand that it wasn’t Emily’s decision to leave. They didn’t give her a choice,” she tried her best to explain. “She told me that she thought about calling us – calling you – every single day but it would have been too dangerous. Not just for herself, for you as well. She tried to protect you.”

As a single tear fell down my cheek, I protested, “I never asked her to.”

Penelope understood then that she couldn’t reason with me, so she just concluded with, “I know.”

The silence between us was interrupted by a knock against Penelope’s door. The timing of all this could have suggested a genius plan to bring two of her friends back together, but she seemed genuinely surprised to find Emily standing in the hallway. My heart felt like it might explode anyway.

“I’m sorry to just come by like this but I really need a friend right now,” Emily told Penelope.

She stepped aside for the dark-haired woman to find me sitting on the couch, telling her, “So does (Y/N).”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know.”

Penelope clearly didn’t know how to proceed, standing there almost frozen at the awkwardness of the situation.

Emily saved her after a couple of seconds. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you decide between the two of us. I’ll leave.”

Acceptance

“Emily, wait!”

It took me a second to realize that it was me who had just said that. Both Penelope and Emily were staring at me, wondering what I wanted to say. Truth be told, I didn’t know myself. I just couldn’t shake the memory of the three of us watching movies together back when Penelope tried to set me up with Emily.

She always joked that she was looking forward to me thanking her for bringing us together when Emily and I would get married. Little did I know then that death would part us before I ever got the chance to ask her to be mine forever.

I noticed a glimmer of hope in Penelope's eyes as she turned her head to alternate between looking at me and Emily. A warm sensation spread through my chest at the thought of being able to feel that too.

It was a naive fantasy to believe we could go back to the way we were but that didn't necessarily mean that things would have to end for good. It was as if that glimmer of hope Penelope displayed spread through the room.

After careful consideration I suggested, “What if we just hang out here, the three of us, I mean. Like old times.”

A timid smile appeared on Emily's face while Penelope didn't even try to hide her excitement.

“We could order pizza,” Penelope squealed. “And you could tell us about Paris!”

Like a cat unsure if she could fully trust me yet, Emily slowly entered the room but kept the door open to still be able to disappear into the night.

She locked eyes with me, asking "Do you really want this?"

The delay of my response made her step back again, ready to leave any moment. Penelope touched her arm as if to hinder her from moving away until I had made up my mind.

The truth was that I wasn't sure if that really was what I wanted. Long gone was my ability to picture her in a white dress anytime I saw her. In this moment, however, I concluded that it wasn't necessary for me to know for sure yet. All that mattered was that I was willing to give it a try.

"Yes."

My answer was far from convincing but it was enough for Emily to take it. She closed the door behind her and stepped closer until she found her place beside me on the couch. It surprised all three of us how easily conversation flowed after the initial awkwardness had vanished.

The way we interacted with one another was new, but in a comforting, familiar way. There were still so many things left unsaid but that was okay, there would still be time for us to figure it out.

It only hurt a little when Emily told us about living in Paris. More than once had we talked about going there for a vacation but that day never came. When she described in great detail how picturesque the view from Montmartre was, my heart ached at the thought that I couldn't be with her then.

"I always wanted to see the Basilica of Sacre Coeur," I mumbled.

It was obvious that she didn't think too much about it when she grabbed my hand to promise, "I'll show you one day."

I sensed her panic when she noticed me looking down at where our hands made contact. Before she could retract it, I interlaced my fingers with hers and smiled.

"I would really like that."

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