#s5+6 I barely remember and only care about on a good day

[safer-things]

Yes I'm obsessed with the flash yes I care about s1-3 the most and on a good day I'll care about the rest no I don't remember much beyond season 4 no I did not watch beyond season 6 nor do I care about anything beyond season 6

[jonroxton]

as for clois, the writing choices made little sense to me. why did they wait so long to make them explicitly romantic? i swear they were still writing clana in s8. at times it felt like lois was in love with the blur & not clark & that she really started falling for clark when she realised he was the blur. and that's fine, i don't mind it tbh, but they should have started writing clois in s5-s6 so they can get that aspect out of the way with enough time to write lois being in love with clark

love these. gonna tackle ‘em one at a time.

1. why did they wait so long to make them explicitly romantic? 

It seems to have been a combo of things. there were rules set on lois by the superman offices  irt what she could do, who she could interact with and even how long they had her for a season. this is why you barely saw her with lex or at the planet in her early years, and why clois doesn’t ever move beyond the bantering subtext stage until like season 6. I remember  returns was coming out and the superman offices lifted a few restrictions on how the show could use her, this changed a little when s7 ended and Rosenbaum and Kreuk left and new contracts drawn, but they were more or less constricted in how they could portray clois. always through loopholes basically. the why of this is simply bc the show never wanted to venture too fast into the superman mythos, which is what lois and clois brought them. 

s8-s10 got new show runners and less restrictions, but why still the delay? why have lana return and stop all that s8 build up.  with hindsight and within the context of the complete show, it’s difficult for me to frame her returning arc as anything but horrific for clark/lana, and though I wished they hadn’t beat that dead horse, what they did holds a lot of nuance and pathos for both characters. the writers seem to have wanted complete closure irt to clark with lana before ever pursuing clois seriously. they were never the greatest writers so the result is lost in translation. some see it as forced on them, but I feel this does the whole arc a disservice, since it’s explicit choices down the line that lead to their separation/break up , bottom line is that clark and lana lie to each other and this time the consequences are irreversible, the pattern of the secrets and lies causing all their strife finally broken.  it all seems to move slow or even backwards irt to clois romantically, but the show took clark’s pains over losing lana (again for the billionth time) seriously. going for clois at this point would have indeed been the rebound, the show decided not to and overall is the better for it.

2. this is where the blur comes in

clark is not looking for romance in s8 (neither is lois) and clois is not romantic in that they are in love and together. this has been the running gag since her arrival, with the subtext (if you see it) being that they actually like one another and enjoy each others (biting) company and one day will be married. the fun is in their clashing personalities not being quite who they are destined to be, and we watch it all while clark is passionately in love with his high school sweetheart. this was certainly annoying considering how long it went on, nevertheless, all through both of their romantic entanglements, clark and lois have a strong friendship and camaraderie that works irregardless of whether or not they’re romantically interested (or seen that way). this is the foundation s8 builds on, that they’re good (maybe great) friends and can count on each other. this is actually an anomaly in SV lol, but they’re really the only people the other can depend on completely without fail.

so clark is heart broken yet he’s also for the first time coming into his own. he and lois are in a new environment, more professional, more serious, more superman. the superman/lois/clark triangle and its effectiveness (or lack thereof) has been written about before and by my betters. what I can say as I understand it is: it’s a mistake to differentiate between superman/clark blur/clark as separate people and its not so much that lois falls for one over the other but that she recognizes something in superman that is very much like clark and vice vera and does so at different times. the structure of this narrative is infuriating, but thematically is filled with identity madness. this is always why the triangle ends when lois is conflicted about being in love with both precisely bc they’re so alike. a wider superman running gag is lois lamenting clark and superman are not the same person bc they would be the perfect man. 

superman/blur is the powerful, lonely, kryptonian side of clark and sv clark has never had an easy time connecting with this part of himself (he’s actively fought against it). when he’s speaking to lois as the blur, this is not someone clark has seen before, this serious, introspective, entirely giving lois who wants to listen to him. who doesn’t run away from him and fully accepts his powers. and though she doesn’t know it, she’s connecting with a serious, hidden part of clark. I think another important point about how lois sees clark is that she IS impressed with him because he constantly surpasses her expectations, even without the subtext of being interested in each other, lois does have an appreciation for clark as a do-gooder. 

3. with the foundation of their friendship and history, this leads to a lot of s8 stories where they have to confront their subtext for the first time (that saw episode where they pretend fake married and forced to go through a test. it’s literally WHATS YOUR SUBTEXT?! sv anvil’s for ya). made all the more complex by exes and secret identities.

4. LAST THING I think is important to consider

lois and clark have seen each other go through terrible breakups and have seen each others heartbreak. the last half of s8 very much plays up that notion of not getting involved to not get hurt. hooking them up early on would’ve meant not getting this very careful characterization where lois and clark work hard and seriously on their relationship to make it work. 

5. last last thing: it’s a shame we didn’t see it

I disagree we didn’t see it. s8-s9 was more loophole superman shenanigans but s10 is one glorious clois domestic train! 

[phoebehalliwell]

how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ��� hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

[teacup-crow]

The Diplomats, Part One

Part 3 of my Carena-in-the-future series is out now! This is the first of two chapters because it got too long. Check out the rest of the series here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019146

Carena is sent on a mission with sworn Fort Canton enemy, Joe. ZRS4 spoilers, very minor S5-6 spoilers. CW childhood trauma, explosions

“Wye aye! It’s “Just Caz”! Or should I say, Princess Carena Skeet herself?”

Joe Garron, Fort Canton’s Runner Thirty-Seven, was clearly equipped for a long expedition. There was no mistaking his stupid freckled face or grating accent, and she’d unashamedly attempted to kick those big gerbil-like teeth in before in a scrum that had got so bad Janine had banned inter-settlement rugby for the foreseeable future. Ever since their first meeting, there had been a mutual distrust, and they’d spent every training exercise since trying to one-up each other, usually egged on by his crowd of leering mates.

“Oh, fuck no,” Caz said, and turned on her heel. “This was not the deal.”

“This was absolutely the deal,” Dr Myers reminded her over comms. “You and a Fort Canton representative are going together to the conference and doing some reconnaissance on the way.”

She remembered the conversation, of course she did. Her foster father was in work boots and a duffle coat, mismatched with the nice tablecloth they’d got out for the King, hands held out to her, saying:

“I could have asked any of my kids. I’m askin’ you because you’re just like me, Caz.”

Years ago that might have pacified her, but now she was adamant. “You can’t expect me to go away for a whole month with people I don’t even know! I’ve got a life here!”

“Thought you always wanted to ‘get out of this dump’.”

“Yeah, well. I’m not a kid anymore. And it’s… it’s… Abel’s not so bad.”

She’d stood up to refill her mug of tea from the pot. He suddenly seemed quite small and old to her, although he couldn’t be more than forty. When had that happened?

“I can’t make you -” he’d broken off. “Well, technically I probably can make you, but I won’t do that. I’ll be honest, I don’t see how it’s any of your business, but it’s about the symbolism of the whole thing apparently. Princess and that. And you’ll get to see the country, make somethin’ of yourself.”

“If the job’s about talkin’ to people, you could send Naveen, or Lilly, or even Jade-”

“They’re not Runners. You’re the one with trainin’, and the most likely person that Fort Canton would approve being out with in the field. And again, it’s more about the… other mission, than the conference.”

“So you don’t want me to go because I’m most like you, then?”

“Caz,” Jamie had sounded tired. “I’ll say again: you don’t have to do this. I can ask Naveen, and Janine will send a Runner with him. But Christ, it would make our lives easier, and I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

In the present, Joe winked at her.

“I’m not going with him!” She hissed into the mic. “He’s a knob !”

“Joe is the Runner Fort Canton has chosen, and they clearly trust him, just like we trust you. There’s a huge amount of responsibility on your shoulders now, Carena. The King and Abel need you. Are you going to let us down?”

Carena growled, and stomped towards him. “If you can’t manage to call me Caz, Runner Ten will do.”

“Yes, yes, whatever you say, your royal highness,” he bowed. Carena’s first act of diplomacy was not punching him right then and there. “Should we get going? It’s only 10K to the first rest point.”

She immediately began to run, not checking to see if he was keeping in step. To her irritation, he saw that coming.

***

The diplomats were tasked with visiting several key settlements on the route to the conference in London, “meeting with young community representatives to work out their priorities in rebuilding Britain, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah”. Carena had accidentally zoned out during most of Janine’s brief.

Their other mission was to gather information on a new, particularly nasty fringe group who’d been undermining the uneasy truces Abel and Canton had formed, dragging up muck from years gone and causing chaos all over southern England. Most reports said the group members were young - younger than Carena, too young to even remember a life before zoms. “Oh, you’ve never heard of Lord of the Flies, have you? Well, imagine if Peter Pan and the Lost Boys were, ah, cannibalistic”, Janine had put it. Carena was definitely listening at that point.

On the upside, the mission was a chance to really see the country. On the downside, this involved a lot of walking. And talking, at least on Joe’s behalf. He never seemed to stop, telling her meandering stories about his fiance Emily and long pieces of Fort Canton gossip Carena couldn’t care less about, even as they wandered through the woods they’d been warned about the most.

“Keep it down, will you? And keep an eye out for traps. God knows what they’ve got.”

“I know what I’m doing! Unlike you lot, we actually train our Runners properly.”

Carena couldn’t help but laugh at that, incredulous. “Abel are the heroes of the apocalypse, your lot are just two-bit second-rate cowards.”

“Oooooh, feisty! But you’re not so heroic now, are you? The whole town bowing to everything your dad and his government says?”

The goading alongside the days of nonstop talking was too much, and Carena snapped, a particularly nasty snippet of hearsay coming to the forefront of her mind. It was rolling out of her mouth even as Dr Cohen scolded her for it in her head. Gossip is a sin for a reason.

“Well, what about your mum? Think you’re so much better than me and my dad, but where’s she?”

“Ten, I’d shut it if I were you.” All the laughter dropped from Joe’s face now, replaced with a seriousness she’d never seen from him before.

“Because I’ve heard all sorts of stuff about her. Fort Canton people all have big mouths. I heard she’s crazy . Lives with Kytan in the madhouse, don’t she?”

“Don’t you fucking talk about me mam!” Joe raised his fists and stepped towards her to the click of an IED.

The two of them paused for just a moment, the boy’s face paling before he screamed: “RUN!”

She didn’t need to be told twice. She sprinted, and he dived after her for a few seconds before the explosion threw them to the ground, ears ringing, shrapnel splintering through the air towards them.

***

Carena woke up. Her head sang out. Everything was fuzzy, slightly unreal, drifting in and out of reality. There was a heavy blanket on top of her. Oh. She must have the flu again, Dr Cohen piling on the duvets. Hopefully, someone would bring her a glass of water soon, because her mouth tasted dusty, bloody. Bloody?

She’d bit her tongue. Her headset whistled static - the explosion must have knocked the frequency. Explosion?

Suddenly, she was thrown into the present. Not a blanket on top of her, but big Joe bloody Garron. Joe bloody… lifesaving Garron. Joe, her only shield from the piercing rain of nuts and bolts and screws.

“Thirty-Seven? Thirty-Seven! Joe!”

To her relief, he groaned, and rolled to one side. She crawled out from underneath him.

His backpack had protected his head and neck somewhat, but his legs where he’d rolled up his walking trousers were peppered with wounds and shards of scrap metal. He whimpered as he breathed, conscious despite his best wishes.

“Joe, we have to move. If they can set one trap like that, this whole thing is a trap. We’re both in our uniforms. If they hate Abel and Fort Canton, who knows what they’ll do with us!”

“I know,” he hissed. “I just, I dunno how far I can get.” He began to unbuckle his rucksack. “Take my bag. At least they won’t get any supplies out of it.”

“I’m not leaving you!”

“You can’t.... you can’t carry me, I’m two stone heavier than you… and the mission - we need info on these little bastards…”

“ Fuck the mission, Runner Thirty-Seven! They’re cannibals! Get up. Now .”

“Got my gun. I’ll take a few of them out.”

“Come on, please!”

His tone and resolve barely wavered as the voices of approaching people began to echo through the woods. “Was an honour to serve with you.”

Carena grabbed his bag and held her hand out to pull him up. The voices were growing more distinct, and chilling. They were very childish, but the words were not.

“What are you gonna do with ‘em, boss?”

“Going to cut them into little pieces, see ‘ow they work.”

“Gonna cook ‘em!”

“Gonna do it slow, find out if they know anythin’ interesting, first.”

“Look, if you won’t get up for me, get up for Emily. She don’t deserve to lose you.”

Whether it’s this, or the savagery of the talk of the approaching kids, it was hard to know for sure, but Joe nodded, and through gritted teeth, got to his feet with a cry.

“Hold my hand. Don’t let go. Just put one foot in front of another. You can die when I’ve got us to safety.”

***

The campfire crackled and spat. Joe poked at it absently, the only evidence of Carena dabbing antiseptic on the last of his cuts the slight tightening of his jaw. Dr Cohen had been offering medical instructions over her headset from the minute they got to a secure building - Joe’s headset was unfortunately busted for good.

“Dr Cohen said to try and clean you up but not to take any of it out. We need to get you to a friendly settlement where they can do it properly. Abel’s identified one only eight miles or so off course. Barton Mound. They’re small, but they have a doctor, and maybe somethin’ stronger for the pain than two paracetamol and this shitty campfire tea.”

The boy smiled weakly. She started on the bandages.

“She must be important to you, this Emily.”

“Well, she’s the girl I’m gonna mar… oh no you don’t!” Joe stopped abruptly, dropping his stick and warming his hands over the flames.

“Oh no I don’t what ?”

“I’m savvy now, see.” Carena stared up at him. “Look, if you get me talking about me girl back home, ten minutes later I’ll wind up dead in your arms. It’s a tale as old as time, but I’m no redshirt.”

“Oh, you’re funny ,” she rolled her eyes, pretending she knew what a redshirt was.

“I do my best. But aye, my Emily’s a gem. She’s so smart. An engineer, you know. She designed this new way of harnessing solar power to heat - OW, TEN! What was that for?”

Carena had pulled the bandage a little too tight. “Talkin’ about your girl back home,” she said, mock-sweetly. “Let’s not tempt fate, shall we?”

“Maybe not,” he laughed, and rubbed at his mouth. “Least I’m too pathetic for you to punch me right now. Never forgot you have a mean right hook.”

“Well, I do a lot of fightin’.”

“You got a girl? Or, uh, guy?”

Carena snorted. “Nope. You tryin’ to get me killed now, Thirty-Seven?”

“Someday, Ten. Someday.”

“You’re not as funny as you think you are. Shut up and get some sleep. Tomorrow will be hard going.”

Half the time in Abel, she was desperately trying to find peace and quiet. Now, it was almost too silent. She tried to focus on the crackling of the fire, Joe shifting as he stoked the flames, and was almost relieved when he started chattering again.

“I’m sorry for takin’ the piss out of your title. I was thinkin’, how’s it even gonna work, anyway? Succession and all? With sixteen of you?”

“Lots of games of Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Carena sighed. “We don’t really know. People like havin’ a figurehead, but there’s no precedent for any of this. Hopefully Parliament will just abolish the monarchy or sommat.”

“Don’t fancy it?”

“You seen all Jamie’s had to put up with?”

“Fair point. You know, I’d quite fancy meself as a King. Think I’d suit a crown?”

“Your head’s too big to fit one.”

“Ouch, Ten! I’m wounded !”

“Yeah. Which is why you should be asleep.”

“You have a horrible bedside manner.”

“That’s why I’m a Runner, not a Medic,” she snarked back. “Funny, though. My Molly’s great in a crisis; she would be a much better help to you right now. Even little Sara’s probably picked up more about doctorin’ than I have.”

“Molly your girl?”

“No!”

“Huh. You said her name like she might be, ‘s all.”

“You’re about to feel my right hook again, injured or not. Shut up and go to sleep.”

“Shutting up, ma’am. Going to sleep now, ma’am.”

He did drift off shortly, sleeping in fits and starts when he woke from the pain. Carena sat with her back to him, a baseball bat in her hands, watching the night. Finally, she let herself cry.

***

The next morning, Joe looked paler. She made another cup of tea and crumbled more of their painkillers into it, hands and knees itching from her own grazes, her skin burning where the straps of her rucksack rubbed.

“Mornin’, Caz.” He managed a bit of his stupid grin. “Think we can justify eatin’ the jelly cubes yet?”

The nicest rations were tucked in the top of her pack. Without a word to the contrary, she pulled them out and unwrapped the foil, breaking off some strawberry jelly and handing it to him.

“The water don’t run in this house any more, unfortunately. We’ve got a couple litres left. Just got to hope this settlement is happy to see us.”

“Who wouldn’t be happy to be treated to the sight of us two?”

“People with eyes, brains and limited medical supplies of their own, prob’ly.”

His laugh was dry. “Ever the optimist, you.”

“Look, about yesterday. I’m sorry for what I said about your mum. My own big mouth got us into this.”

“‘S okay. It’s true. She is… she isn’t right in the head. Moonchild syndrome, a really bad case of it. Doesn’t remember me half the time. Not so great when she does.” He swallowed, and began to stamp out the last embers of the fire - they’d both slept with their shoes on, ready to go, and the pain of it seemed to be some distraction. “I was ten when she disappeared, and when she came back, she didn’t remember Dad, or baby Rosie either. They’d both died in the outbreak, it was always just us, and she was on the verge of madness for that but… that woman pushed her over the edge.”

“Joe…”

The boy continued, almost robotically, checking his gun without looking up at her.

“She was so confused, and it made her angry, and she used to take… well, I was right there, so... it’s not like anyone was paying much attention...” he trailed off, bit his lip in embarrassment. “Eventually she got convinced I’d gone grey too, tried to strangle me the same way she strangled Rosie. Skipping rope. God knows how she got hold of one, the sight of them always upset her... They wanted to kick her out of the town, let her fend for herself, but I… I begged them not to. So they locked her up instead, hid her from the Ministry till Kytan started helping people with Moonchild syndrome and they could palm her off on him.”

“Mate,” Carena said, buckling her pack, feeling her cheeks redden. “I dunno what to say.”

“C’mon, let’s move. You talk, for once. I need to think about something that’s not me legs.”

At least on the open road, traps were easier to spot. Carena racked her brain for a happy story, some way to brighten the mood.

“Okay, so… one time, me and my siblings tried to bake Dad a cake...”

They’d been really little, still living at the fire station. Archie was alive - she can remember the swish of the woman’s blonde hair against her cheek as she picked her up for a cuddle, how her voice sounded, all light and sing-song. “Now children, I am going upstairs for only ten minutes, just to have a shower. Be very good and we can go to the lake later! If you see zombies, ring the fire bell. ”

Jamie had gone mental at her later for even leaving them that long, but he was out picking up supplies from a military copter drop. In ten minutes, Naveen and Lilly had managed to coat themselves and half of the other children in flour. Jasper, somehow, had egg in his hair. Carena was sitting on the counter, decadently eating butter with a spoon and directing the scene. Archie had just laughed, and sprayed them all down with one of the hoses, and the cake-making fiasco turned into a giant water fight.

“Even the dog got involved!”

Joe grinned. “Sounds like a nice day.”

“It was,” Carena said, her voice a little softer than usual. “When I think back to that year, it’s all sunlight. Wasn’t perfect, ‘course. Archie died a few weeks after, and Jasper got turned. And… well, when Dad found out he was King he went to London for good.”

“That must’ve been hard. Him leaving like that, after you lost so many people.”

“He didn’t have much of a choice. But I didn’t always understand that, like.”

She’d been inconsolable for hours, and decided that night in her bunk that if she wasn’t good enough to make anyone stay, she would never trust them to.

“North-east, this settlement, aye?”

“Lead on.”

***

Barton Mound was a settlement of a few scraggly hilltop farmhouses, ten or eleven families surrounded on all sides by a barbed wire fence and only one gun turret. Joe and Carena both glanced at each other in distaste - it was hardly secure. Still, they had a medic and a well, and that wasn’t nothing.

Joe had got very quiet the last few miles, and Carena snuck worried looks at him as he slowed from an almost-jog to a walk to little more than a shuffle. If they were ambushed now by humans or zoms - which were unlikely but not impossible - they’d be in for it.

As they approached the makeshift gate, a woman holding a broom like a lance peered down at them.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

“You should have had word of us in advance? Caz, Abel Runner Ten. This is Canton Thirty-Seven.”

Joe waved, and slumped down against the gatepost.

“He’s been better. It’s his legs, they’re full of shrapnel, and-”

The woman tightened her grip on the broom, a mild note of panic in her voice. “Kids, was it?”

“Yeah…”

“You’d best get in, quickly. Can you walk a bit farther?”

Joe grimaced, and nodded, following after her.

“Dr Renwick should be able to help him. Then you’ll have to get out of here.”

“‘Scuse me?” Carena bristled.

“Listen, those kids… it sounds ridiculous, but they’re savage. They… they won’t be happy you got away from them. They don’t like to leave the woods, but they’ll look for you.”

“Did they take one of your people?”

The woman ignored Joe’s question, but added: “We’re just trying to live in peace with everyone, all right? We don’t want to draw them on us, and we don’t want to anger your leaders either ‘cause… well, if Abel Township wanted us dead, they’d stop at nothing to do it.”

“That’s not the sort of thing we do-“ Carena began, then realised the woman didn’t care, and wouldn’t believe them even if she did.

Dr Renwick was a tall, imposing person with a serious, strict demeanour. They sighed at the state of Carena’s attempt at field dressings, and shooed her out of the hospital (really, a converted downstairs bedroom of an old family home) with a wave of a bony hand. So the girl sat on the bottom of the staircase and rummaged through her pack, finding a few tins of rice pudding and fruit to offer in gratitude to the residents who watched her with interest and fear, surveying her like a curiosity. She scowled.

“I won’t be long,” she’d promised Molly in the kitchens, the day before she left. “A month, tops. I’ll be back well before Sara’s ninth.”

“That is long, ” her best friend had replied, hands tightening on the scrubbing brush. “How do those cooks manage to burn the stew onto every pan?”

“Stop changin’ the subject, Moll. I know you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you-”

“You are. You volunteered for kitchen duty to try and avoid my last night. And you’re actually not smilin’ at me for once.”

Molly snorted, and splashed her with soap suds. “Not like you to notice. Will you get on and dry these dishes? I’m running out of surface space.”

“I don’t want to go. Dad and Janine, they…”

“I don’t care, Caz. You have to do your duty, I get it. I just… I’m going to miss you. I know you know what it’s like, being left.”

“Yeah. Someone left me to starve in a town full of twisted soldiers.”

The younger girl swang round in a swirl of indignant blonde curls. “Carena, I was a child-“

“So was I. So was I, Molly!” The glasses clinked as she dried them too fiercely; she felt her breath get sharp and hot, like she was losing control of the conversation, losing control of the situation. She took another, and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I know there was nothing you could do. But I swear, I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll talk to you on comms whenever I can.”

All she wanted was to talk with her right now, to not be surrounded by suspicious faces, to be thinking about anything except the pain in Joe’s eyes.

***

The settlement couldn’t spare antibiotics, but they did have codeine, and that had already helped bring the cheer back to Joe’s face. “Just please keep the wounds clean,” the doctor grumbled. “I’d advise you to stick to the roads.”

“Are you sure you don’t want someone to pick you up, Thirty-Seven?” Joe’s operator was at the Abel comms desk, and Carena was relaying all of her messages through a bad impression of her accent.

“And miss out on all the fun? Not a chance! Give me that headset, Caz.” He snatched it. “Nadia, I am fine. Tell Emily I’m fine!”

“How much metal did you get out of his legs?” Carena asked out of curiosity as Joe regaled the operator with tales of his heroism.

“Let’s just say an airport scanner would have had a field day,” Renwick smirked, and then at the girl’s blank expression: “Twelve larger pieces. The rest are parts too miniscule to risk removing. He’s pocketed the shards as ‘souvenirs of the time he saved a Princess’. Which you didn’t tell us, by the way.”

“Oh does he ever stop,” Carena growled, and pulled her fellow Runner’s bag straps. “Come on, let’s go if we’re going.”

“Onward! Thanks for the assistance, Doc!”

“If you tell anyone else I’m a Princess I’m puttin’ all that shrapnel back ,” she threatened.

“Oooh, I’m quaking!”

It was only when they got outside the house that Carena realised the day was too quiet. The residents had stopped milling about, leaving various jobs around the farmstead half-abandoned. And there, clinging onto the gates-

Children. Filthy, hissing, angry children, armed with a nasty assortment of blades.

“Dr Renwick-“

The doctor had already slammed the door. She looked around desperately for the woman who’d brought them in, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“They’ve sold us out,” she cried. Joe swore.

“We’re surrounded, the way out is blocked. Any ideas, Nadia, Sam?”

One of the kids rattled the gates, lisp-singing through gap teeth. “Foxy-Loxy get out of den before I count to ten!”

“Not a bleeding chance,” Joe muttered. “Okay. Sam sees an exit on the other side of the settlement, but we’ll have to be quick. Nadia’s suggesting… oh, no way, I’m with Sam, I’m not throwing a grenade at the little shits, Nadi! Yes, I know they tried to kill me, but there’s a line!”

“Fort Canton, noble as ever,” Carena quipped.

“Shut up, you’d be the first to try and blow them up.”

She doesn’t bother denying it. “Okay. That exit.”

“He says it’s risky, but there’s a gap in their fence. Behind the toolshed. Run for it in three, two, one, NOW!”

For the second time in as many days, she ran for her life, the sound of childish war cries in her ears as Joe dragged her through the gap. Over the hill, rounding a corner, trying to find their way onto a trail.

“Barton Mound just cut their CCTV! Sam’s camera feed’s gone!”

“Check your four O’clock!”

He turned and fired, aiming to miss, to warn. “Behind you!” She did the same at her six.

“Ha-ha, you can’t get us, you can’t get us!”

“We’re going to get you!”

“That grenade is fast becomin’ a better option!” Carena yelled.

“An option neither of us will be able to live with! DUCK!”

A knife clipped her ear as it whizzed past. “Thirty-Seven, this is mental!”

“I’m on a lot of painkillers right now, Ten, and even I’m aware!”

“The two of us are the fastest Runners they got,” she reminded him as well as herself. “We can do this.”

They’d reached the bottom of the hill, and met a twisting country road with a few burnt-out cars. The pavement pushed back harder than the grass, giving her purchase, just like the track at home. Okay. She leant forward. Faster, faster, faster.

Then her lungs decided to freeze.

“Did we lose ‘em?” She asked, not daring to look behind her.

“Think we lost ‘em. There’s a back of a truck here where we can… Caz, your lips are blue. Caz?”

***

Someone pushed her inhaler into her mouth. She took a grateful puff of medicine.

“How many is it of the brown one, Dr Myers?” The boy said distantly. “Okay, got it.”

She found herself propped up in the back of a large truck, lit up by torchbeam. Above her, Joe’s moon-like face looked frightened. She’d never seen that expression on him before. Another puff.

“That’s it, Caz. Just keep breathing.” He gave a nervous chuckle. “Think you forgot how for a minute there.”

She reached out for his hand and squeezed his fingers, her own tinged with blue. Thank you.

“We’re only a few days out from London now, Dr Myers, it’s closer than home. We may as well finish the journey and head back in the convoy. Oh, Caz, she wants to know what you think. Can you talk?”

Carena nodded, taking a few more grateful gulps of air and finally grabbing her headset back.

“Dr Myers… Sam?”

“We’re both here,” Dr Myers replied, her tone flooded with relief. “How are you doing, Carena?”

“I’ve… been better. But Joe is right. We’ve visited… four out of the six settlements… and we know more about the militants now.”

“You’ve more than done enough,” Sam said gently. “Those children are better armed and more… persistent than we anticipated. We could send reinforcements-”

“It’s… faster for us to keep going... we’ll rest in London for a while. We can do it. We’re a good team, Joe and me. And two people can hide better.”

“If you’re sure. Joe’s injuries are susceptible to infection, and your asthma-”

“We can do this,” she said, determined not to wheeze. “We’re not going to let you down ‘cause of some kids.”

Sam sighed. “Cannibalistic kids! Sometimes, Maxie, I miss the zoms. Don’t you?”

“Can I... talk to Molly?” Carena asked over the sound of Dr Myers’ incredulous splutter.

“I’ll get her after school,” Sam promised. Carena closed her eyes. “She misses you.”

“I know.” The tight-closed truck, the pervading sweat and damp, the thought of the snarls on those faces. It’s all such a contrast to the homely atmosphere of Abel, fields and understanding and space to scream. A lump comes to her throat. “I miss her too.”

[sparkwhorunswithwolves]

I just have so many stallison feelings about the wild hunt?

Allison was resurrected alongside everyone else in s5, but got taken before she could find any of the pack

So when Stiles gets to the train station, he doesn't even know he could be looking for her

The riders come back, Peter saves Stiles, Stiles snaps him out of it as in canon

But before Stiles gets around to try the doors, he spots her

Or maybe Peter sees her first, but doesn't say anything because it's Allison; the nogitsune's victim - an Argent

She's all nice funeral clothes, hair and makeup done in a way that was meant to make her face look less like a corpse, but now just makes her look like a doll, face blank like he hadn't seen from her since her mom died, since her dad was taken

Everyone else had been taken from their lives, you can see the death on her

He approaches her, hesitant and guilty and the only good thing is it looks like I'm dying, too

It's a very tearful reunion; Stiles apologizes, Allison just wants to know if everyone else is okay, if it was worth it

Peter is rolling his eyes at their dramatics in the background

They eventually calm down enough to catch each other up on what happened

Allison tells Stiles—and, unfortunately, Peter—that she died and then woke up on the nemeton, but got shot before she could make it out of the preserve

No one really knows how or why, so they chalk it up as Just Another Beacon Hills Thing after both of them ask her a bunch of questions only she would know the answer to and move on

Stiles tells her about the deadpool and Peter—

Who Allison nearly guts—lack of weapons or no—when he beats Stiles to telling her about Kate and at least your mother actually managed to stay dead

Peter's escape from Eichen, Lydia, and therefore Theo comes up, but Stiles only tells them the bare minimum and leaves it at that

For now, they were there aware for 3 months, some form of therapy Will Have Happened, even if no one liked it

They try the doors again, and notice the other guy, who takes them into the tunnel, and then promptly dies again

Rip convenient plot point

Neither Allison nor Stiles care as much, because maybe he is right, and he isn't pack, and he still has Allison and doesn't have to deal with Peter alone

Peter is his pessimistic-realistic asshole self, stallison aren't so much optimistic as they refuse to let this be it, need to do something that isn't waiting to die again or who knows what else

Allison brings up Peter's coma, Peter the nogitsune

"At least someone will come for us. Our pack will come for us. Who would still come for you?"

Peter, because this time Stiles actually told them Allison what happened with Theo: "You don't have a pack either. Even if they did remember her, they wouldn't even know to come for her. And you? You never even had a pack in the first place. Do you really think your True Alpha would even want you back if he remembered?"

Cue Peter turning to sulk in the main room, while stallison stay where they are

The worst part is that Peter has a point— at this point Stiles' only hope is that Lydia remembers, they have no reason to look for someone who is, for all intents and purposes, already dead

"They're going to remember us" "They would have already found you" "You don't know that" "Yes I do. They have no reason to remember you, to realize that you are gone. Do you honestly think that they would want to remember Peter or me?"

They eventually go back into the main room, because it's 12% less creepy than the tunnel

Canon plot, they manage to radio the pack Lydia

"you said remember I love you"

Allison, just far enough from the microphone to not be heard: "tell her"

But the connection is already cutting out and Stiles tells them to go to Canaan

The last thing the pack hears is a scream, Lydia's name, and it shouldn't feel this familiar

Because they remembered Stiles, or at least knew that something, someone, was missing

This shouldn't feel like a ghost, an echo of something they can't even imagine

Peter burns again, they both get out of there, together

They deal with the wild hunt, everything is back to normal, or at least, Beacon Hills has been fucked enough times that everyone just shrugs and moves on

No one questioned Allison's death, or resurrection, no one outside the pack even seems to care

They had visited her grave once, a couple of days after everything had calmed down, someone else who had died in the past 6 months lay now buried where Allison had once been

[xfanfics]

Destiel Fic Rec List Part 7

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity.  Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 39 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

Bare Your Throat and Have Me by highermagic E | 4k | AU, PWP,  a/b/o

Castiel and Dean have only been mated for a few months, but Dean knows how this goes by now.

Deterioration by highermagic E | 33k | Hot,  AU, Cop!Dean, Mystery

Dean has a gift – he can see things. Things that others wouldn't see, motive and calm control between the splatters of blood and fractured mirrors. He solves crimes others simply can't. When bodies are piling up all around him, Dean starts to feel as though he's drowning in it, falling under the weight of his own helpless observations, until he finds something unbreakable. Unwavering. Castiel – if only the man was as good for him as he appears.

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | Fluff, Teacher AU, Librarian Cas

Human AU. Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only.

Angel-Cuffed by Luciel89 E | 15k | CANON!verse

Dean wakes up to find himself handcuffed to his angel. Both are annoyed, Sam finds it hilarious and awkward situations await them. But the longer they're tied together, the more things between them start to change...

The Bet List ❤ by StevieCas M | 55k | Fluff,  AU, Underage, wing!kink

"That bet list was the worst thing you've ever come up with, Gabe. If it wasn't for it, I would never have thought about such things. It's bad enough being an earthbound angel, it's bad enough being considered a weirdo even by angel standards. Did I have to be gay as well? Do I even represent a minority or is it just me out there?

I love the world of this fic--and Dean and Cas' relationship dynamic is perfect.    

Ad Astra ❤ by nhixxie T | 17k | Angst

One day Cas says, "Stars died for you, Dean Winchester", against ruffled hair perched atop sun kissed skin and sleepy eyes. Dean stirs, moving to spread his palms against the contour of Cas’ back, tips of fingers languidly strumming the indentations of his spine. One, two, three, four, he counts, the closest he could get to scientifically studying the anatomy of the human body. "Is this some physics crap again?" He frowns with eyes closed. Cas smiles softly. "Far from it. "Dean’s fingers play at the base of his back, ninth thoracic vertebrae, Cas notes. "Then tell me all about it.”

Read it and weep. If this were published, I would buy it.    

Sensitive by nevergotwings E | 1k | wing!kink

Curiosity sparks when Dean gets the urge to touch Castiel's wings.

An Exercise in 'Worthless' ❤ by beastofthesky

M | 26k | AU, Tattoos

"I mean, you’re–" He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living." Wherein Dean makes a hefty living as a tattoo artist who owns the space next to Gabriel's cafe. Sam attends the local university. When Gabe's cousin comes to live with him while starting grad school at Sam's university, Dean thinks for sure that all his negative karma's coming to bite him in the ass because Cas clearly has a thing for Sam. No one would ever choose him over Sam. That's just logic.

Perfection everywhere. Dean's lack of self-worth is explored, and there are tattoos.    

Of ties and wings by perpetuallycaffinated E | 4k | Hot,  PWP, wing!kink

Jealousy, ties and and impatient angel. Also, wings.

pie | by perpetuallycaffinated E | 3k | Hot,  PWP

Dean uses pie to eat out Castiel. That's pretty much it.

I Say, But I Mean by inplayruns T | 4k | Coffee Shop AU

Dean runs a bed & breakfast. Cas works in a coffeeshop.

Heavenly Delights by TamrynEradani T | 2k | Fluff, Coffee Shop AU

Gabriel owns Heavenly Delights, the coffee shop Cas works at and on the day before Thanksgiving, Cas sees someone looking down so he brings him a hot chocolate, and Gabriel conspires to get them together.

New Eyes by ozzutly E | 1k | Canon!Verse

Dean sees Castiel's true form. He decides he likes it.

Resonance by definitely_indecisive G | 1k | Canon!Verse, Soul Bond

The battered and abused presence had poked warily out, almost as if expecting harm. He let his grace drift forward to meet the soul instantly, putting off all of the warmth he could muster. The presence seemed to stutter for a second, before melding itself into Castiel's grace. He allowed the soul to do so, cradling it with his core. He could feel the tiredness and abuse from the poor thing, yet also the amazing light it gave off as it started to slowly heal because of his grace. He could tell this was the most unique soul he had ever met, and that he wouldn't forget the feeling of the presence for all of millennia.

My Roots Take Flight by KismetJeska M | 125k | Reverse!verse, s4 AU

After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

Angel Airlines by dancingloki E | 19k | Hot, Airline AU

Dean is an airline pilot with a raging hard-on for his head flight attendant. Fluffy fluffy fluff.

El Tango de Amor by literaryoblivion E | 16k | AU, Fluff,  Angst,

Every Tuesday and Thursday, Dean leaves, is gone for two to three hours, and comes home sweaty and exhausted to the apartment he and his brother Sam share. Sam had asked him where he went once, and Dean had said he was working out, which technically wasn’t a lie. What he was doing was definitely giving him a workout, just not in the traditional sense. In all actuality though, Dean was leaving every Tuesday and Thursday for a dance class. A dance class taught by a one Castiel Novak.

Ugly Sweater!Verse ❤ ❤ by nerdylittledude E | 193k  | Canon!verse,Fluff,  Post s5

If they really go back and think about it... it all started with a tree. A Christmas tree, that is. Castiel is human now, and the apocalypse is not only over, it's been averted. Sam's away at NYU, finally finishing law school, and Dean's stuck in what is probably the most awkward situation of his life. He's not exactly sure how he ended up sharing a flat with Cas in Media, Pennsylvania, but he does know the curious would-be angel is sort of derailing his plans for a life of decadence and booze. Cas is trying to make the best of his humanity by exploring human holidays. Dean can't exactly complain because he's pretty much the reason Cas got his wings clipped in the first place. Dean didn't actually want to fall in love, but how was he supposed to know it would all start with a goddamn tree?

 My favorite fic ever. I don't know how many times I've read it. There is switching, fluff, angst, and slow building romance. I will rec this forever.    

More Than Alien Mojo by remivel

E | 29k | Men in Black AU, Fluff,

Dean was one of Men in Black's best agents. In fact, he's been knee deep in extraterrestrial crap his whole life, and he's gone through more apocalypses than he could care to remember. He thought he's seen it all-- until he and his partner, Sam, were sent out to a routine meteorite crash inspection. What was supposed to be a meteorite turned out to be a golden spaceship, and instead of hitchhiking intergalactic pathogens, it was an alien that took the form of a human male. A very naked human male. Soon, they discovered that this alien named 'Castiel' was a refugee from a war-torn galaxy.The first of his kind to ever venture to Earth, Castiel agreed to share information about his galaxy and his race in exchange for his relocation on Earth. The only catch was: since Castiel was a new alien species, nobody knew what he was capable of, whether he was as harmless as E.T., or as dangerous as the Predator. And it was Dean's job to keep an eye on him and assess just how much of a threat Castiel could be, and if necessary, eliminate him. It wasn't a job Dean was looking forward to doing. Especially since he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off him, naked or not.

Come On With the Rain by remivel E | 36k | High School AU, dubcon

When Castiel was 15, his life changed. In one tragic instant, he lost his parents, and he was forced to live with his Uncle Bobby in Lawrence, Kansas. There he met the Winchester boys, Sam and Dean, who were living next door. He thought Sam was pleasant, and Dean, well, Dean was special. Three years passed and Castiel’s relationship with the boys developed in an unexpected way. Sam became his best friend. But Dean was a different story. Dean was not Castiel’s friend. He was a neighbor, a classmate, the brother of Castiel’s best friend, and the guy who worked part time at his uncle’s salvage yard. That was all. But on the rare times that Dean asked Castiel for help, Castiel couldn’t find it in him to turn him down. Because this was Dean. And the answer would never be “no” when it came to Dean.

Crossroads State by Mercy M | 51k | AU

Castiel has a nice predictable structured life teaching high school, even if he happens to be overqualified for it. Then this guy moves in around the corner and literally knocks him on his ass.

Heart of Glass by omphalos E | 17k | Canon!Verse

He's the one who was punished, severely, because of his feelings for Dean, but who still gave up everything for him in the end. Surely there should exist between them a better level of comprehension than this.

Domesticated by kototyph E | 15k | AU

Being the only angel in the entire Pacific Northwest can be tiring, even if these days Castiel spends more of his time shoveling manure than fighting off the hordes of hell. It's an occupational hazard, unfortunately; he earns most of his living rehabilitating wild animals a few miles outside Spokane. Wild animals like Dean, for instance— a mountain lion who's entirely too smart for his own good. There's a man in Castiel's dreams named Dean too, but that part's just a huge coincidence.

Excite by perpetuallycaffinated E | 3k | Crack, wing!kink

"Sam Winchester, I am going to carnally worship your brother whether you are in this room or not.

Snapshots 'Verse ❤ by highermagic E | 60k [WIP] | AU, Wing!kink, a/b/o, omega!dean

A series of one-shots following the meeting, courting and eventual love between an Angel doctor named Castiel and an Angel teacher by the name of Dean.

Less of a WIP, more of a series of one-shots. Rowan's worldbuilding is lovely, and the sex is perfect as usual. EDIT: Apparently this has been removed.

Angel's Wild ❤ by riseofthefallenone E | 389k | AU, H/C, Wing!kink

But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels. Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right? That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Perfection. Go read it now.    

Sharing Hands by almaasi E | 6k | Hot, Canon!Verse

Dean feels something strange when he touches himself, and realises Cas has been using him as a vessel ever since he came back from Purgatory.

The Good Samaritan Rule by manic_intent E | 6k | AU, wing!kink

Written for deancaskink: "Dean and Castiel are both angels and brothers-in-arms. During a battle, Cas's wings get hurt and [it's] up to Dean to help him out. In the process, Cas finds out how sensitive his wings are and well Dean is Dean no matter what his form [is], so this leads to lovely first time sex." God never made humans. Instead, he made the angels in his image, and on the sixth day he made the is him, and gave them free will.

How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam) ❤ by Vera_Dragonmuse E | 69k | AU, Sam/Gabriel

In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean's angel rather sooner than intended.

Out of the Deep ❤ by riseofthefallenone E | 488k | AU, h/c

Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep. It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep. Castiel should have listened better.

It's long, but worth it.    

Feathers by brightly_lit M | 90k | Angst, Wing!kink, D/s

In an alternate season 5 scenario, Dean, Sam, and twenty of their closest hunter friends stopped the apocalypse by closing the gates to heaven, hell, and purgatory. Now working with his former hunter buddies at Ellen's security company, Dean doesn't know what to make of his weird new coworker who always wears a trenchcoat and leaves behind feathers everywhere he goes. He especially doesn't know that, cut off from the power of heaven, the constantly falling feathers mean his new friend is dying. "Creation cried out against the injustice of a righteous man in hell. I answered its cry.

Vita Nuova ❤ by wordaccordingtofangirls M | 61k | Teacher AU

AU. Dean Winchester takes a job as a teaching assistant to get his little brother into a prestigious academy. He doesn't quite expect such long nights and snobby kids, but the real surprise is professor Castiel Novak: or falling in love with him, that is.

Like a Parched Land by twoskeletons E | 8k | reverse!verse

Written for the following prompt: "Reverse!verse: Castiel is the Righteous Man and Dean is the angel who drags his ass out of Hell." This is an AU version of episodes 5x01 through 5x03.

The Cabin by bookkbaby E | 16k | Canon!Verse, Wing!kink

For an angel, the building of a Nest is sacred. Dean doesn't understand. Written for the 2013 DCBB.

Pies and Prejudice by linoresearch E | 97k | AU

Dean didn’t even want to enter this damn competition. He was happy with his life, more or less. It might not look like much from the outside, or to a younger brother headed towards a big time law career, but it wasn’t so bad that Dean needed to scrabble around for any opportunity to make a change – particularly not one as stupid as this. He’s going to throttle Sam the next time he sees him, for getting him involved in this ridiculous Bake-Off TV show. It’s bad enough that Dean has to cook in front of people he doesn’t know; he now has to go through the humiliation of being judged on it too. Its humiliation piled on humiliation, and to make matters worse Dean has to play nice with all the other suckers involved, like that rich dick-bag Castiel Novak. God, he hates that guy, and he hates that someone so awful has such a frustratingly fine ass. Written for the Dean/Castiel Big Bang 2013

The Breath of All Things ❤ by KismetJeska T | 65k | AU, H/C Angst,

Dean Winchester was twenty-six years old when a car accident killed his father and left him paralysed from the waist down. A year and a half later, Dean is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. It's only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one.

So angsty, and so, so perfect.    

All the Way ❤ by cadignan E | 81k | College AU

Castiel spends the first two weeks of college in much the same way he spent the previous years: alone with his books. He’s fine with it—he enrolled in college to learn, after all. Then in his first chemistry lab, he has the bad luck of being paired with snide, good-for-nothing Ruby, and the further misfortune of sitting behind Dean Winchester, the world’s most beautiful distraction. Ruby catches Castiel staring at Dean and makes him an offer.

Destiel, Actually by Bloodism E | 15k | Crack Fluff,

Picture your typical rom-com cliché. Now picture Dean stuck in that rom-com cliché. With Castiel. Because that's what happening to him - a crazy whirlwind of your typical-and-not-so-typical cliché's. He's playing the main lead in all of them and Castiel's his counterpart. Of course, the culprit is obvious. Gabe's enjoying himself too much, lying back on his favourite cloud with a tub of salted popcorn. It was about time someone kicked the two knuckleheads into gear.

Suburban War by squeemonster E | 100k | High School AU

Moving to Lawrence with his family is the most significant event of Dean Winchester's life. It brings a stability he's never known, and the only thing to have more of a profound impact on him is Castiel Novak: the two boys become fast friends the day they meet. But as Dean grows older, he dreams for something beyond the monotony and constraints of suburbia, and he is haunted by the inexplicable feeling that he was born for something more than what this life offers. As he struggles to reconcile the person he yearns to be with what his family and friends expect of him, a fateful choice exposes just how fragile his life in the suburbs is, and possibly risks losing the best friend he's ever had.

[ayankun]

real quick before I get into season 6

So this is my second time watching Season 6 and I’m p. excited.  This last week or so I’ve been dredging up bits and pieces, but most of it is a blur.  It seems the memories that lasted this whole year were mostly of the huge armored truck and the nonbinary character who works at *spoilers*’s tech startup.

I’m curious to see if the second time through it’ll settle in like it belongs.  I remember Season 5 really didn’t make any sense to me until I saw it again.

But really I’m just excited that in 11 hours I can watch the new stuff?!

But first, before I forget, here’s my last thoughts on Season 5.

So remember how I was surprised at Season 1′s structure, that it folded up nicely down the middle with some pretty tidy symmetry?

None of the other seasons do that.

Instead, I remember particularly strongly how jarring the end of the Ghost Rider arc was in the middle of Season 4.  And then again when the (what I’m calling) Kasius arc also wrapped up mid-season.

I’m not sure when I read about it, but it probably was circa Ghost Rider, that they’d intentionally decided on what I’m pretty sure they called “pods” of episodes, these seasons-within-a-season sort of narratives.

Season 2 sort of kicks it off, what with the race to Terragenesis taking eps 1-10 and the Afterlife/splinter SHIELD stories filling 11-22.  Then Season 3 has the monolith/Maveth mystery to start, followed by Hive & the Inhumans for the second half.  S4 is super poddy, obviously branded as Ghost Rider/Agents of Hydra, and S5 also splits neatly into future!Lighthouse and present day!Lighthouse.

Two points to make on this:

Kasius is such a rockstar villain that I feel really bad for Hale/Ruby/Talbot.  They’re so apples and oranges but having the highlight come first allows for unfavorable comparisons to be made.  It’s like asking any well-to-do Kree to compare Xandarian snail to oops all berries.

Good thing they’d had all this practice writing complete stories in 12 eps, since I’m hoping Season 6 (and obvs Season 7) will still feel as fully formed as their longer antecedents.

Anyway, that first point is my major point for S5.

S3 already feels like the second half of S2, and its internal halves are the most similar to each other as any of the other “pods,” so it’s not like people have a reason to go around saying “I liked the first half of the season waaay better than the second.”

(although I might.  I might say that, actually.  but not because the halves were branded separately from one another)

And S4, though the two halves are barely identifiable as coming from the same show much less the same season, they’re both good.  Robbie Reyes is perfect.  The effort to incorporate new MCU topics/aesthetic from Doctor Strange is great.  Robots who just want to be a real girl is my JAM.  All the Framework cameos really make my day!  And then Robbie Reyes comes back all deus ex machina (ironic) and saves the day, and

it makes sense that he does because the function and nature of the Darkhold was well established in part 1 and

it’s GREAT that he does because he’s perfect and we miss him.

Then here comes S5.  I really really respect so much about the creative decisions that took the story where it went (ie, outside Papa MCU’s sphere of interference), and getting to reuse the same set in a different context while minimizing “on-location” shoots is just technical and financial genius, okay. 

But there’s so much about the first half, in the future, that compels me waaaaaaay more than the gritty anger of the second half. 

Kasius, WOW what a villain.  Dominic Rains, everyone.  I have nothing unkind to say about the performance, the character, anything.  Impeccable.  Spectacular.  Perfection.

The mystery of the season opener!  We had the tag scene where Coulson’s “in space” and plenty of time to ruminate on the how and why, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 coming out right as S4 ended and Thor: Ragnarok literally sizzling in the theaters at the same time as this season started.  They answer the question by the end of the episode, but not before several characters come up with and pursue several different theories, and that’s fun.

What a way to capitalize on the Inhuman storyline your show’s been about for years now, without forcing Papa MCU to contend with all this good work you’ve been doing.  Just go somewhere he can’t reach you (the future), and then un-write all of it anyway.  V. tidy.  Extra style points will be awarded.

LEITMOTIFS.  If y’all’ve seen BSG, then you know Bear McCreary is a master of the art.  But this season has so many good themes, my friends.  The Daisy/Quake theme that’s been knocking around for a season is here in full force, and Sinara’s is the best bad guy theme you could have wanted, and dearest sweetest Flint has the best great guy theme you ever heard.

Just, while we’re here.  Sinara.  She says nothing for episodes (it feels like, I wasn’t counting) and her first line is a scornfully growled “compassion.”  Give it up for Florence Faivre !!!  She hardly has any lines but you always know exactly what she’s thinking and what she’s about.  Sinara and Kasius have the richest on-screen chemistry of anybody on any show from any era fight me on this I dare you.

Mack’s coming down from his second life in the Framework, and that suuuuucks that these folks never have a moment to rest before barreling into their next story.  But he gets to be a father to Flint!  And Yo-Yo gets to be a mother!!!  UGH why couldn’t they have brought Flint instead of Deke lololol oh well.

I think I know another reason why Lincoln seems overhyped to me.  That other Inhuman, Ben I think his name is?  He’s in like two episodes, serves a narrative purpose, and is disposed.  I know Lincoln’s in like 18 times as many episodes but they have the same exact overall impact on my brain-hole.  Imagine if it was Ben that came back with them instead of Deke.  That’s how I feel about Lincoln.  Like, how did this obviously disposable character make it this far?

Then you have Deke.  You love to hate him.  He’s a very well-fashioned character who is flawless in making you feel the way the showrunners want you to feel.  That’s the kind of character that gets killed off twice and still comes back, and it doesn’t surprise you.

So, Enoch.  Enoch is everyone’s favorite character, right?  Right.  Give me genderless robots with a soft spot for humanity ANY DAY.  PLEASE where are they I need them.  (I’m un-repressing memories of S6 and I feel like somehow I should be careful what I wish for)  Man I remember with 1000% clarity the absolute glee I felt sitting down for the opening montage of S5 the first time, how ballsy weird it was, just watching this freaky bald alien of a man go swimming with some fun electro pop number playing in the background.  100/10 please make more television like this

 More monoliths!!  The time one is so pretty!

(remember when there were more monoliths and no one knew where they came from or what they did but then it didn’t matter because they got instantly exploded?)

The low-key obvious answers to the season’s questions, what with the Inhumans running all over the shop, Quake there to tear everything down and Flint there to put the pieces back together I’m not crying you’re crying

Oh man, and Simmons getting to mentor not one but two Inhuman youths to be confident and trust in themselves and their powers.  What a ways from the fear-panic response to Daisy when she turned.

Also, yeah, it has to be said, this show’s blatant “you’re different and that’s okay” agenda sits very well with me.  Agents of SHIELD says LGBTQ+ rights!

So anyway, part 2 falls a little flat for me because its strength is its themes, but I’m not really compelled by the stakes and definitely not by the villains and not really even by the intra-team drama.

Obviously S2 touched on parenthood, but it was pretty specific.  S5 digs in and brings us a lot more on the topic.

Kasius desperately desires his father’s approval but very deeply despises the methods and the people who earn it.

Hale was indoctrinated by Hydra and was very earnest in wanting to uphold the values of the organization, until the organization (and Whitehall) shared with her their narrow appreciation of the gift of her loyalty.  Even then, she struggles to make sense of this loyalty, only realizing too late that being a good Hydra pawn and a good parent are categorically mutually exclusive.

Ruby, obviously, is like a mini-Kasius, the brave-faced rebel who wears her mother’s disappointment on her sleeve like a badge of honor to pretend that it isn’t crippling her.

The Von Strucker kid, boy is he messed up (and his Hydra dad had something to do with it)

((echos of Ward are still heard even this far after his demise, and we know what his father figures were like))

Poor Talbot, got some brain damage and some Hydra conditioning on top of that, cracked that noggin wide open.  He just wanted to do good by his family.  Just wanted his son to know he loves him.

Polly and Robin.  The daughter who needs constant special care because she’s stuck inside her own mind and the mother who’s been through hell and back and still manages to do her best.  Even when she knows she won’t always be there for her daughter.  Even when she knows she’ll be replaced.

May getting a glimpse at the life she and Andrew once talked about.  Getting a chance to do right by that little girl.

Mack recovering from getting that same glimpse, from the echoing memories of a life time spent with his greatest regret erased.  Being roped into being a thug and threatening that dad without knowing the meaning behind his threat -- being told that people like him don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.  But then getting to know Flint, and having Yo-Yo at his side while they fast track this kid through all the things he’s gonna need to know in order to be the Big Damn Hero the world needs him to be.

The timey-wimey promise that FitzSimmons will one day be parents to a brilliant daughter who will unfortunately give birth to a Deke.

Coulson and Daisy.  Another parent placing enormous expectations on his daughter, desperate that she be ready for his responsibilities because his time is running out.  A daughter who mishandles these expectations and refuses to stop fighting a losing battle, not because she’s not ready to step up, but because she doesn’t want to face the fact that she’s losing the man who raised her.

Anyway, aside from all this good Theme work, part 2 wades perfunctorily through musty remnants of the previous season, from The Doctor to The Russian.  Which makes sense, because that season ended in a way that left so many loose threads -- but then this season comes along and summarily ties them up, all cute little bows, the lot of them.  Dusts its hands.  Nothing to see here.  Move along now.  Time’s up.

[pendragaryen]

Rewriting the stars -  The S5/Bellarke fanmix

- The way I see (and feel about) S5 of The 1OO

Over months and months I was drawing up this list, bc I just had the feeling to do so - for my own good. There were TOO MANY FEELS I had to work through concerning the last season. And so I developed this fanmix, which was only ever growing over the last couple of months. I wrote down my own thoughts to each and every song and why I was choosing it. But I think I’ll just leave it here with my thoughts concerning the timing/the person, moment or place I see them connected with. I had fun making this and I just wanted to share it at this point of the hiatus, bc it lasts waaaay too long. Can’t wait to see my bbs back on screen!

Beware of FEELS. A lot of them. But follow me folks, if you will, right down the rabbit hole of angst and excitement that was our season 5 of The 100. ;)

1. Afterglow (Bellarke, after S4, setting: Earth and space/the ring)

You left your ghost behind my door, it whispers you’ll be back for more, was it your intention to own and possess my soul? (C )

I got my days, I’m half alright, I found new things that make me smile, but then it hits me: They’re nothing compared to us (B)

Where are you now, who has my place? Hope when you kiss you see my face. No bad intentions, but I hope it’s not true love (C )

I threw our past against the wall, but I can’t wash your handprints off my soul. What the hell am I doing? Have I lost it all? (B)

I’m trying to make room for love but it’s crowded inside me. I know it’s time to let you go (B)

So won’t you come and get your ghost, your memory haunts me. I’m living on the afterglow (C )

2. All of the stars (Bellarke, after S4, setting: Earth and space/the ring)

It’s just another night and I’m staring at the moon, I saw a shooting star and thought of you

I wonder if you see them too

So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet, and all of the lights will lead you into the night with me

And I know the scars will bleed, but both of our hearts believe, all of the stars will guide us home

3. Light years away (Bellarke, after S4, setting: Earth and space/the ring)

We only see it on the inside, imagine where it ever came from. Understand with all our insight, ‘cause what we see is already gone

The space between the systems, the space between you and me

The light in you that shines, so vast of its consistence, our life an instance in its time

Don’t you know we’re light years away...

4. It’s okay (Clarke Griffin/Bellarke, S5, after time-jump/six years later, setting: Earth, shallow valley)

I remember how you used to say ‘have no fear, it’ll be okay’, when you told me ‘anything you want is possible, we could have it all’

I believed in you, must have been a fool, all my dreams were with you

I say it’s okay, I can promise you it’s alright, you ain’t keeping me up all night no more. You’re not here but it’s okay, I assure you, babe, it’s alright, you ain’t keeping me up all night no more

5. Whatever it takes (Octavia/Blodreina/Wonkru, S5, setting: Earth, the bunker, “Red Queen”)

Everybody waiting for the fall of man, everybody praying for the end of times, everybody hoping they could be the one.

Break me down and built me up

Whatever it takes, ‘cause I love the adrenaline in my veins. I do whatever it takes, ‘cause I love how it feels when I break the chains

You take me to the top I’m ready for

6. Lovers on the sun (Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, reunion, “Sleeping giants”)

Let’s light it up until our hearts catch fire, then show the world a burning light that never shined so bright

We never know what stands behind the door, but I got a feeling thats’s worth dying for

Just close your eyes and hold your breath, because it feels right. We’ll keep it moving until we make it to the other side

7. Delicate (Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, Eligius-ship, reunion 2, “Pandora’s box”)

Is it chill that you’re in my head? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you’re mine all the damn time... ‘Cause I like you

We can’t make any promises now, can’t we, babe?

8. Hello heartache (Clarke Griffin/Bellarke/Becho, S5, setting: Earth, the desert, Becho reunion, “Shifting sands”)

I was stupid to think that I could stay

I seen your best sides, you got to see my worst. It’s not the first time, but this one really hurts, yeah this one’s gonna... It hurts...

Goodbye my friend, hello heartache, it’s not the end, it’s not the same

Do you know, do you care?

It’s not the end

9. In it with you (Clarke Griffin/Bellarke/Becho, S5, setting: Earth, the desert, after “Shifting sands”)

You took a blade, it went in deep, and it was tearin’ up inside you. Must’ve been sharper underneath, ‘cause there were scars I couldn’t undo.

What were you thinking? Why did you let go? I was still holding you. What were you thinking? Why didn’t I know when I was right there with you?

10. Dangerous (Zaven/Pirate mechanic, S5, setting: Earth, shallow valley)

I don’t know where the lights are taking us, but something in the night is dangerous.

And nothing’s holding back the two of us. Baby, this is getting serious.

11. Run (Clarke Griffin/Bellarke/Becho, S5, setting: Earth, the desert, Becho kiss 2, “Exit wounds”)

I sing it one last time for you, than we really have to go. You’ve been the only thing that’s right in all i’ve done

I can barely look at you

Light up, as if you have a choice. We’ll run for our lives.

I can hardly speak I understand, why you can’t raise your voice to say...

12. Scars to your beautiful (Clarke Griffin, S5, setting: Earth, after “Exit wounds”)

She don’t see the light that’s shining deeper than the eyes can find it. Maybe we’ve made her blind, so she tries to cover all her pain and cut her woes away.

There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark. You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are. And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart.

No better you than the you that you are

No better time for you to shine, you’re a star

Oh, you’re beautiful, you are beautiful

13. Hush (Bellarke/Becho, S5, setting: Earth, after “Exit wounds”)

I wanted to keep you forever next to me. You know that I still do and all I wanted was to believe.

When I try to forget you I just keep on remembering. What we had, it was so true and somehow we lost everything.

14. I don’t know why (Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, Polis/the bunker)

Now I’m lost in us. We’re living in a lying trust.

I don’t know why, but I guess it’s got something to do with you...

15. In my life (Octavia/Blodreina/Bellamy Blake, S5, setting: Earth, Polis/the bunker)

Can’t believe the things you said. I turn my head and walk away. You make me sick, you make me nervous.

In my life I decide and it turns me on how I am, how I live, who I love. In my way I feel strong and it turns me on. In my life I decide, I decide...

16. Atlas (Bellamy Blake/Octavia Blake/Clarke Griffin, S5, setting: Earth, Polis/the bunker, “Acceptable losses” and “How we get to peace”)

Some saw the sun, some saw the smoke. Some heard the gun, some bent the bow.

Show me the way, Lord, ‘cause I’m about to explode.

Carry your world. I’ll carry your world and all your hurt...

17. Find you’re gone (Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, Polis/the bunker, shallow valley, post “Sic semper tyrannis” aka “The Slap”)

There should be grief but I feel none. Trying to leave the night behind I hardly get my thoughts in line. But there is one thing I could say, it seems I’m glad I find you’re gone

18. Heart of misery (Clarke Griffin/Madi/Bellamy Blake, S5, setting: Earth, desert/the bunker)

I don’t want to feel anything today, anything at all, I’ll just be alone. I just want to know that you want to know.

I don’t wanna live through another day. Meaningless to fight for your sympathy, I just wanna drown in the heart of misery.

One life forgot to be

One heart refuse to beat

One love is incomplete...

19. Someone you loved (Bellamy Blake/Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, the bunker, “The warriors will”)

I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold. It’s easy to say, but it’s never the same.

But now the day bleeds into nightfall and you’re not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved...

20. deSolate (Bellamy Blake, S5, setting: Earth, bunker/fighting pit) 

21. White flag (Clarke Griffin/Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, shallow valley, “Damocles 1″)

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again. I caused nothing but trouble, I understand if you can’t talk to me again.

I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door.

I’m in love

and always will be...

22. You are (Bellarke, S5, setting: Earth, Eligius IV, “Damocles 2″)

If ever I wanted to run away, I’ll go only if you come with me. ‘Cause no-one can talk to my heart like you are.

I’d say you’re here in my heart, you’re in my heart.

You are my reason

You are the air I’m breathin’

23. O.k. (Bellarke, S5, setting: Space, Eligius IV, “Damocles 2″)

When I find myself in the middle, could you love me more just a little? Over-complicate, but it’s simple. Would you love me more, just a little?

So tell me now, when every star falls from the sky and every heart in the world breaks. Hold me now. When every ship is going down I don’t fear nothing when I hear you say: It’s gonna be o.k.

24. Someday (Bellarke, S5, setting: Space, Eligius IV, “Damocles 2″)

I believe we’ve come to where there’s no turning back

In a way I know that things have been going on for too long, it’s become too much

I’m not the one who walks away that easily. I try to believe in love

Someday, in another time and place, with a brighter, stronger flame, we’ll make it right. In some way there can be a miracle

I know that we can make it right...

25. Approaching lightspeed (The 100/Bellarke/Marper/All, time-jump/cryo-sleep, S5, setting: Space, Eligius IV, “Damocles 2″)

I try to breathe, I try to think of you. Don’t know if trying will do. The silence, a mirror, that breaks the lights in two.

We’ll discover what will make us free.

We’ll trying to stand where no-one dared to be.

When time stands still a moment lasts. We’re moving on, we’re flying fast, approaching lightspeed

26. Rewrite the stars (Bellarke, after time-jump, S5, setting: Space above the “New Earth”, Eligius IV, “Damocles 2″ Finale)

You're here in my heart So who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny? 

All I want is to fly with you All I want is to fall with you So just give me all of you

Say that it's possible

How do we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine Nothing can keep us apart 'Cause you are the one I was meant to find It's up to you And it's up to me No one can say what we get to be And why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours...

Insert Harper’s and Monty’s voices from the void:

Let’s show them how to live...

Be the good guys...

(And now I’m a crying mess... Thanks for staying with me, guys.)

~~~

I think that this’ll be a one time thing considering the amount of time and effort I brought up to create this and due to my job. But who knows: Maybe the new season is really kicking in and I’ll do something like that again. For now: That’s it, folks. I hope you guys like it - or maybe some parts of it. And bc I value your opions a lot I’m going to tag a few peeps I know from my notifications or who i admire and love from afar. (If you DON’T want to be tagged here, please let me know and I’ll delete your name again. ;) )

Thank you, fam! <3 <3 <3

@clarkgriffon, @katersann, @fyeahbellarke, @hereforbobmorley, @jasperjoordan, @raven-reyes-of-sunshine, @ringsabellamy, @sometimesrosy, @youleftme-clarke, @bellamywanheda100, @viviansternwood, @jordanjaspergreen, @lovethyblakes, @hostagetakerandhisgirlfriend, @clarkeywifey, @morleybobs, @clarkegriffintitties, @mimir-anoshe, @asroarke, @sly2o, @bellamyblake, @bellamynochillblake, @montygreen, @hostagetakerandhistraitor, @bellamys11thfreckle, @ricchardmadden and my beloved @merlination (no particular order)

[janiklandre-blog]

Monday, March 20, 2017

sunny, getting warmer   at the computer with a delay: 11 a.m. Was going to make two calls this morning - the first to reschedule an appointment with the optometrist  - I'd cancelled appointments on the last two Fridays - to be told he would not be in his office until April 3rd, the day of my scheduled op - could I make it before 10 a.m. - so I zipped to 25 5th Avenue (corner 9th street) - was there by 9:30 - once more the same eye exam - then eyes measured - and I cancelled the "specials" as per the advice of my my GP Monique - standard lenses, standard op vs lazer - will be saving $5000 - do want to buy used car this summer - most I paid for cars so far was $2000 - a minivan that ran for years - and I think my friend in Florida bought a 1996 Honda for less than $1000 and she says it's doing great. Of course buying a car in Florida has advantages - no rust and less wear and tear on the cars in a warmer climate. In Massachusetts you get some dispensation on emissions on a before 2000 car - these catalytic converters - new cars no longer have them - they cost hundreds of dollars. Of course there were ways to get around them.

So, if all goes well I will see Dr.Khruh on April 3rd at some facility he uses on East 80th - most doctors yours ear and eye on 14th and 3rd Avenue - but I'm just as glad not go to a hospital and worry less about the super bugs. Hopefully a dear friend will be with me. Then the next eye on April 17 - between a lot of drops, visits to his office, three I think, then three more after April 17 - I figured it will be May 15 after all is said and done - just in time to renew my driver's licence - you can get a doctor sign off instead of going to the motor vehicle bureau - in New York City often long wait. He may charge me for that - so be it. In New Hampshire - in Dearing - the Motor Vehicle Bureau open only a few hours during the week - no wait - you are greeted by name - I went there to register my cars in New Hampshire - only alas I could not insure with a New York driver's licence - also once I was stopped outside of Peterboro for speeding - my only speeding ticket - going 30 miles in a 25 mile zone. The cop said to me: You havenot been more than six weeks in New Hampshire - and of course I should have said I haven't, but blurted out - longer - then he sadly sad I also have to fine you for not changing your driver's licence. That licence I got in 1956 and I am hanging on to it - never got stopped again while for years driving jealopies, the best, a 1998 Mercury Topaz, $500 - uninsured, with New Hamshire plates and a NY state licence. At some point though I decided no longer to push my luck and a lovely friend in New Hampszhire registered the car in her name - also a $500 beauty, a great engine but rather forbidding looks. Some sort of racing car. My mechnanic buys cars in auctions, he owns a lot of land, covered with old cars. Over the years we have become fast friends - last seen his wife had thrown him out of his large beautiful house and he had moved into a trailer - where he also offred me a bed if I needed one. These people are born again Christians - good folks. I miss very much not having gone there for a couple of years - and they miss me. Last not least when Carol asked me for $500 for a car I gave him $500 cash (a couple of times I returned a car and he would give me the same $500 back) - while the locals there - fellow church memberrs - paid in small installments and often did not even have that money. I've seen a lot of rural poverty. They loved Carol for providing wheels - long distances, no public transportation - many summers I drove around a lot and wrote what I called "Vagabondage" - I believe in the external drive my grandson created. If only I ever was discovered - there is a trove of writing I've done - the Germans used to call "fuer die Schublade" - for a drawer - now I guess I write for the cloud.

Speaking of the cloud - my iphone kept asking for my password for the cloud - yesterday I stopped at AT & T - no more Igor, but Raymond - he too was very nice and he created a new password - I'm tempted to ut it in here and perhaps somebody might remember it - he said if I lost my iphone this password would hlep locate it - it's related to apple - also all my contacts would now be in the cloud and automatically transfered to a new iphone - of course I could go from my S5 to S7 - for only $400 or perhaps it's $600 - but for the time being I still have it barely figured out and hope not to lose and have it - for the remainder of my life? - My Jewish Great great parents had a dry good store in Bielo Bialska, now Poland and men came to buy cloth for a suit for the wedding - stayed active and fit, farmers, and also were buried in that suit. Watches lasted a life time. People have shown how long a Volvo can last well taken care off. Now all gets obsolete so fast - including old people - that is one of my laments.

Almost 12 noon. My days have been turned around - have not been in my library and Central Park for a long time - miss going there - yesterday I wrote at great length and yet have to hear from anybody who might have read it - then I probably ate more for lunch than I should have - read that Christo, the Bulgarian artist. now 81 eats in the morning yogurt with garlic, nothing all day and a sparse meal at night and has a lot more energy thanI do - I mixed the veal meatball I had bought with the mashed sweet potato I had made the night before, the half potato pancake, I also had bought, a fatty yogurt with jam, not garlic - so easy to spend time on that - a little ice cream - have not stepped on the scales - started falling aseep reading the Sunday Times - slept 30 minutes, lingered on the bed for a while - it was 3:30 when I left for Washington Square Park - blue, blue skies, lots of young people - NYU - not one familiar face - couple with child sat down, both parents avidly into their cell phones - later a young couple, necking - I walked to AT & T, later bakery, a slice of cske, $1.50 - home by 6 p.m., phone - one of my two phones - rang for the first time - my friend said her Samsung had frozen (not a life time phone) - she might come - she had gone to the march of the veterans that Felton had mentioned, Briant Park to Times Square - not very long march. She said it met with total indifference - I asked what bsnners said - Out of Syria - as far as I know we are sending more troups everywhere - Ukraine, Afghsanistan, Yemen, Somalia, Iraq, Syria - and the countless bases the U.S has all over the world - and a lot of programs will be cut to give the Pentagon more money - and the saber rattling regarding North Korea is very scary. NYT enumerated options - one worse than the next - millions at risk in South Korea and Japan. Will the party in New York go on Plenty of parties here.

Then she had brought a movie, Five broken cameras - Palestinians fighting Israelis taking their land in the West Bank - so, so sad, major movie - long, long list of those involved at the end - I don't think it got very attention. The library had it. In 2000 I bought for little over $100 a TV in a discount store on Broadway - long gone - with function to show movies - alas the sound is low - but it still works - and my friend loves to watch movies.

So the day went, late I ate four frozen pierogi - cooked in a few minutes, skimmed the $6 Sunday Times, save magazine and book review - I give it to a neighbor and want to get it out as fast possible - by the 30 minutes past midnight - cramps in my legs waking me, up by 7 a.m., turn on ABC. hesr about fires and accidents - but also theweather and - session in Senate - regarding the wire tap - top importance - got paper, 50 cent coffee and slice of cake at Moishe's bakery - earlier I had eaen my super healthy muesli - then off to the optemetrist - and now it's 12:15 and I haven't even answered my emails - time flies - just got message from Jimmy, former squatter - may later head for Tompkins Square Park, perhaps I'll see him, he lives on 9th off the park - got to eat something (I'm not Christo) - read paper and most likely fall asleep - how long will this life go on? at moments it feels pretty good - at moments I want more to live than at others - old and older  Marianne.

[padaheck]

My favourite and least favourite seasons of supernatural ranked

I'm gonna go from least favourite to most favourite. Spoilers for all seasons ahead. 12; S7. The whole leviathan plot line was fairly weak in my opinion and the season itself was pretty forgettable. It's the only season I haven't rewatched in it's entirety. In my opinion the best part of this season was our introduction to the amazing Charlie. Also this is the season where we lost Bobby so... I shouldn't have to elaborate on that too much. 11; S12. I know I probably shouldn't include this season because it isn't over and I don't know how it will end so I can't really judge it but... I'm going to anyways. I'm just flat out not enjoying this season and instead of staying up all hours just to watch new episodes live, I find myself not watching episodes for days or even until the next episode is out. The excitement is gone for me and I really hope this season turns around and pulls me in again. 10; S10. This season (which I can barely remember, I really need to rewatch it) annoyed me for a couple reasons. First off, the writers really wasted Demon!Dean. They should've spent way more than 3 measly episodes exploring this character instead of ending it abruptly for a musical episode. Another reason it annoyed me was the season finale. I couldn't believe they would actually kill off Death. It was such a stupid move. I still can't wrap my head around it. 9; S11. This season really didn't do it for me at all. I didn't really like the Darkness not because she was a bad character (well she wasn't amazing but she wasn't awful either) but because it seemed like the writers were just trying to create the Biggest Big Bad. Confirming Chuck as God was nice but it was just telling us what we all pretty much worked out on our own. The finale, which I live posted about, really pissed me off. Months of showing us how much Amara hated God were wasted when they solved their issues after five minutes of speaking. I won't even speak about Mary's resurrection because then I'll just get mad and this section is already long enough. 8; S8. There was so much going on in this season! I didn't want to put this as low as I did but there were much better seasons than this. That said, this wasn't a bad season at all. It saw many amazing characters (coughAbaddoncough) I loved the finale to this season, it has become one of my favourites and the scene between Sam and Dean in that church where Sam tells Dean he doesn't care if he dies? Breaks my heart every single time. So yeah it's a shame this had to be at number 8 but there's simply better seasons than this. 7; S6. Let me start by saying the reason this comes before S8 is because I fucking adore Soulless!Sam. Like, he's my favourite Sam second only to normal Sam. So that's a big contributor as to why I like this season. I really liked how Dean got a taste of an apple pie life and his relationship with Ben was really adorable. This season also saw the creation of my (and many others) favourite episode, The French Mistake. For me, Samuel really brought this season down and I wasn't Castiel's biggest fan either but of course I have forgiven him. Can't say much for Samuel though. 6; S9. This was one hell of a season, such an emotional rollercoaster. I was actually pretty fond of Gadreel and thought he was a decent character. Metateon infuriates me, even to this day but not in a way that would make me not want to watch episodes he's in. He's a good villain to say the least. Man, that season finale. It really fucked me up, especially that last shot. I joined the fandom about a month after that episode aired because I heard so much about the emotional trauma of that final episode. 5; S3. This season was amazing! It pains me to put it at number 5 but like S8 there's just better seasons. Anywho, watching Sam being lead astray by Ruby was both very frustrating to watch and also fun. Ruby is a character I love to hate, particularly the original Ruby seen in this season. Deans inevitable descent to hell was devastating, especially that finale. God, seeing Sam clutching Dean's mutilated body while sobbing was heart wrenching. It's a shame it only has 16 episodes. 4; S2. Oh man, oh man S2. I love this season more than words can express. I love love love the whole 'psychic powers' storyline and was definitely satisfied by how it played out. That two part finale fucked me up so badly. I can hardly bear to rewatch either of them because it hurts so good. This could easily be in my top 3 favourite seasons if the next season wasn't as amazing as it is. 3; S4. One word: Castiel. One of my favourite characters of all time is introduced in what I consider to be one of the most badass introductions to a character ever. He is such a prick when we first meet him and I love it. I don't think I have one bad thing to say about this season. The finale was brilliant, Ruby's ulterior motives were finally revealed and it felt so good to watch her being ganked. I desperately need to rewatch this season. 2; S5. Wowowow! I don't even know what to say other than I fucking love this season. Lucifer might be my favourite villain of all time so beautifully played by Mark Pellegrini and occasionally Jared Padalecki. The writers really nailed it with this season and so did our boys Jensen and Jared and Misha, with some of their best scenes being in this season imo, especially Jared in the season finals. I am endlessly impressed by this season. 1; S1. This season will always be my favourite no matter what new seasons they come out with for one reason. It was the season that hooked me and got me emotionally invested in the boys lives. I'm so eternally grateful I started watching this show and I know if the pilot wasn't as stellar as it is, I probably wouldn't have continued to watch. I love rewatching this season just to see the fresh faced, squeaky voiced Sam and Dean overcome the monster of the week, a format I truly miss. Not only that but S1 just looks completely different from recent seasons. Everything seems darker and grittier and I love it. So that's it. I didn't mean to waffle as much as I did but hey, shit happens. Feel free to give me your thoughts my dudes