#s12 rewatch
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I honestly do not know if I can take s12 destiel again after rewatching 12x12. Itâs one of my favorite episodes ever, but I usually watch in isolation and knowing whatâs gonna come in the finale⊠like damn how am I supposed to act normal. Theyâre so violently in love and they will never get a happy ending and it makes me sick
#s12 rewatch#also Iâm about to see the mixtape again like how am I supposed to be normal abt this#the last time I watched all along the watchtower I cried for hours and drank myself to sleep#but Iâm just gonna assume that this time it wonât permanently scar me#bcs I know cas is gonna be fine for another 3 seasons#we donât talk about 15x18 in this house because it causes the sad
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It's scenes like these that remind me I'm watching a Lego ninja show for literal children.
#top ten ninjago scenes that took 12 years off my lifespan#WHY THE FUCK DO THEY TURN TO THE CAMERA TO SAY THIS ToT#DO THE WRITERS THINK KIDS ARE THAT DUMB ....#started my s12 rewatch btw ...#this scene makes me want to k-#ninjago#raine's rambles#raine's shitposting
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They put this on our fucking screens and expected us to be normal.
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questions I have about "Lily Sunders has Some Regrets":
Ishim and Mirabel say Cas was careless with his former vessel. What happened? Was the vessel Jimmy Novak's great-grea-something? Did she die? Did Cas leave? What was going on? Inquiring minds want to know.
It was previously established that angels know when a nephilim comes into being so why didn't they know about the one they were supposed to kill? They should've known it was a trap, right? Why oh why.
What was going on inside Benjamin's mind? He was in love with his vessel and yet he doesn't like earth nor reacts to Akobel saying stuff like "how could you know [humans] and not love them?". Bro, he's literally talking about you.
I really really want to know about the beef between Ishim and Akobel. Like, was Akobel in love with Lily too? Wtf happened? Why did he choose to protect her against Ishim? Also, was he a fallen angel? How was it possible for him to live on earth with a human without falling? Was Noemi ever after him? I wanna imagine all the hot gossip circulating among angels and I just can't because apparently they didn't know shit or even if they did they just obeyed orders so no question was actually asked. Grrr.
How did Lily discover and master Enochian magic? It's such a badass addition to the lore, it's a shame they only used it again in s14.
Why do they keep using "goo" imagery for Cas? "Castiel when did you become so gooey?"
And the sad thing is that I could go on. Really, people want a spn s16, I want a spn spin-off about angels because THEY.ARE.CRAZY.AND.I.LOVE.THEM.
#spn#supernatural#castiel#spn rewatch#spn season 12#lily sunder has some regrets#spn s12#phd in spn s12
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Watching S12 like Jack Kline incoming.
Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming. Jack Kline incoming.
#jack kline#spn#supernatural#i'm tweaking#oli watches spn#kelly kline#lucifer supernatural#s12#spn rewatch#I LOVE JACK KLINE.#my son.#I love him.
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not toni bevell comparing ruby to sam with benny to deanđ
#tag this goddamn show#spn#supernatural#spn 12x02#mamma mia spn#toni bevell#bi dean#dean is bi#deanbenny#benny lafitte#benny spn#spn s12#vals spn rewatch#supernatural parallels#spn parallels#parallels#parallelsnatural#samruby#dean winchester
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aaaaaaa i want to play fields of mistriiiaaaaaaaaaa
but i am doing other thiiinnngggssssssssssss
i want to kiss the dragon............. i am a dragon kisser they know what they did putting a dragon in this game
#i wanna get it so bad but ive got TOO MANY PLATES#TOO MANY SPINNING PLATES !!!#i need to work on my bp in overwatch which i havent even touched yet for s12#bc my enthusiasm got killed in s11 (oops)#iiii should be working on a mod for bg3 but that's mmmmmm#its been so long im going to have to start over and thats sooo unappealing#i have ART ! I WANT TO FINISH!#SO BAAAADD I WANNA FINISH MY X-MEN AU ART AAAA#AND MY STAR TREK TNG AU ART !!!#and i wanna finish my rewatch of tng#and i need to finish my playthru of gotg im SO CLOSE#I HAVE TWO CHAPTERS LEFT WHAT AM I DOING#and i'm worried about taylorrr i know it's just work but Pattern Recognition got me Noivous#pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt pbt#i wanna get fields of mistria#and make pixel art of my player#):#pppbbbppppbbpptttt#dont even get me started on sdv 1.6 i wanna play that SO BAD#but i gotta wait for wifey.........#palladiuhm
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mary winchesterâs s12 arc is like: i didnât come back wrong. you just reduced me to a perfect idol, a name on a headstone, a sepia-toned childhood memory, and got upset when you realized that i might be more complex than that. i existed to you as a smiling face in a faded photograph, and when i became real, you could not fathom my personhood. i came back exactly right, and your expectations were too high.
#cannot for the life of me understand the mary hate#she makes SO much sense to me#of COURSE sheâs flawed! sheâs flawed in the exact same way her boys are flawed! THATâS THE WHOLE POINT#iâm a mary winchester apologist through and through#spn s12#mary winchester#spn rewatch#spn#spn 12x13#spn 12x14
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what if i passed away
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yaz voice: i keep thinking,,, i keep thinking abt the.....future affecting the past of it all. the "if he runs out of time the hostile action would end and a time machine would know", "im fine because you fixed yourself", and "because it's not a grave"
like if it were me. if it were me. i still would have gone with the villa diodati conundrum. "save the poet, save the universe" what do we do when the poet IS the universe. "watch people burn now or tomorrow" like the distinction exists? like tomorrow isnt yesterday?
so we make them face the child. the doctor loses this one, right? too beholden to their rules. lost with shelley, will lose with the child. because there is no way to win it. not with the rules of the universe theyve clung to up to this point. not without play
so theres a child that needs to be saved but the doctor cant do it because it will take the foundation out from under the universe. she Can Not interfere. she fails to be the doctor when it comes to herself. but yaz is there. doctor's doctor. wont accept this. saves the child
the universe crumbles, but this or tecteun's revenge the outcome is similar except. the universe that crumbles if you save the child is the timelords' universe, their imposed histories, their laws, their logic. nothing makes sense anymore. it's terrifying. gotta let go gotta let go gotta let go. you HAVE to play. play or perish. please it's not that serious. it's just identity! funniest game there is. listen to the master; tag, youre it
#i admit theres a lot of details to work out#a lot of details ive forgotten about also#but give me a minute and a rewatch of every episode since 2019 and i'll be good to go#hdfkjhgj#i Would like to write my own version of idk everything since halfway s12 i guess#but it'd be so much work man#and for who#well me i suppose#maybe one day#also now that ive written it out loud a 'future affecting the past' theme seems inevitable if youve got a writer#responding to his own old work#but i really do need to rewatch to remind myself of all the details i need to fill in and check off here#theres a lot im missing#but if it were me!#if it were me the scene where yaz stops the doctor and runs off to save the child would echo the end of 12x10#the aftermath of it would be brutal i think#13 would be torn apart by conflicting impulses#YOU SHOULDNT HAVE/yes you should have it was the right thing to do/but ILLEGALIMPOSSIBLE/you did what i coudlnt (shamepride)/#it was done for love/how dare you/it was done for ME/the universe cant suffer for me i cant bear that/#you had no right to make that choice/i wanted to protect you from it/you had no right to put the end of the universe on me like that#she would break open completely it'd be messy as fuck#and incredible to see#and then i havent even imagined yazs responses yet
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I am one episode into my s12 rewatch and itâs already so gay. The deancas hug, paired with Maryâs immediately realization that something fruity is going on. Then Dean stops Cas from beating up several guys, and Cas actually kinda listens and stops trying to kill everyone. Then they both get beat up by a dominatrix and end up on the ground. Bonus points for them pushing the car into the bushes together, theyâre so married itâs unreal. So far itâs delivering on the gayness, and if I remember anything about 12, itâs that itâs only gonna get gayer.
#s12 rewatch#destiel#I am so excited for episodes 10-12 because they were so good#also the finale fucked me up sm I canât wait to revisit it#12 is genuinely my nostalgia baby she canât make me mad
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god help if hannibal ever came back i don't think id work up the courage to actually watch it lmao
#i physically cant rewatch doctor who post s12#never even watched the final problem#i have hugeeee issues with cringe and watching things i love be bad
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On the one hand, I like to imagine Dean finding Walt and Roy and killing them for dsotm. On the other hand, Walt and Roy showing up in s12 and going, "we haven't seen you guys since--"
"Since you killed us! No hard feelings." IS hilarious and appropriate for the moment.
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mind you i still havenât seen seasons 14 or 15, but the british men of letters is the worst thing to happen to supernatural frfr
#supernatural#spn#spn rewatch#spn s12#sam and dean#sam winchester#dean winchester#men of letters#british men of letters
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âRegarding Deanâ is an okay episode, the perfect episode to place between âLily Sunder has Some Regretsâ and âStuck in the Middle with Youâ. It feels filler-y but itâs totally not because it shows us where Sam and Dean stand as far as s12 main themes are concerned: family&love.
To the surprise of probably nobody, we find out that Sam is struggling a lot when it comes to how he positions himself within his family and around the people he loves. Dean, on the other hand, is walking on a much safer ground (which seems like a joke since the ep is literally about Dean slowly losing his memory but Iâll get there), heâs ready to move on to the next chapter of his life, a chapter where his relationship with his brother is not his only&main focus.
Who are the other members of Sam and Deanâs family? This episode tells us itâs Mary and Cas. Even though, so far in the season, Mary has come and gone, Cas has spent a considerable amount of time with none other than Crowley and the brothers have spent a couple of months in prison, the episode explicitly highlights multiple times that Mary and Cas are their family, no matter the amount of time they all actually spend together: what matters is the infamous bond between them.
And whoâs feeding this bond? Whoâs actually keeping in touch with Mary and Cas? Whoâs the primary point of contact? Dean, of course. At the beginning of the episode, when Sam meets Dean at the waffle joint and realizes Dean is maybe drunk and his smartphone is dead, he says: âAll right, well, I'll text Mom, make sure she knows to get a hold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Kellyâ.
So itâs safe to say (and it is because weâve already seen in past episodes that Sam is definitely not the one playing games and texting with Mary, nor the one calling Cas or receiving calls from him: people in this family know who to contact and itâs not Sam) that Sam is somehow detached from this family dynamic and, weâll later discover, doesnât really know what to make of this.
After Sam discovers that Dean is not hangover but hexed, the first thing Dean says is: âLook, we could figure this out, okay? Don't go callin' Mom or Cas with thisâ. Mmmm, interesting. Weâre back to Mary and Cas. Again. And why shouldnât Sam call them? And, maybe more importantly, why Sam doesnât call them anyway? So maaany questions :P
The last time Mary and Cas are mentioned together again is in the mirror scene. Dean is regarding himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to remember who he is and he defines himself as follows: âAhh. Okay. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And CastâCas is my best friendâ. So Dean defines himself based on his relationship with the different family members: brother, son, best friend. Once he starts forgetting who these people are he also starts forgetting himself:
âMy name is Dean WiâWinchester.
My nameâMy name is...
My... My... I donât knowâ.
This is crucial. The scene is quite tragic but itâs telling us an important truth: what matters to Dean, whatâs important to him to the point that it defines who he is, is his relationship with his family, with the people he loves. I said that itâs quite tragic because, at least to me, itâs a bit bleak that Dean doesnât know who he is without other people. But Iâll come back to this point later.
So who is Dean? The reply comes right after the mirror scene from Rowenaâs mouth: âOh, you're a killer, Dean Winchesterâ. And this is super interesting because just before we had this dialogue:
Rowena: You can really remember nothing, can you? What a gift not to recall the things you've done.
Dean: What have I done?
Are people the things they have done? Rowena couldâve said âYou kill people, Deanâ but no, she says âYou are a killerâ. And okay, the use of the verb âto killâ can start a debate on morals&justice&law (whatâs the difference between killing and being a killer etc) but not the point here. The point here being that Rowena, regarding Dean, is confusing being and doing but Dean is not. He replies: âWait, I... I kill people?â.
Rowena continues in her âmisunderstandingâ:
Rowena: But... but... though you may be a stubborn pain in the arse with the manners of a Neanderthal and the dining habits of a toddler, everything you've done, you've done... for the greater good.
Dean: Oh, and that's supposed to make it okay?
Rowena: I wouldn't know. You help those other than yourself. But me, I've done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine. It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right?
Then I met God and his sister. The two most powerful beings in the universe, wasting it on squabbling with each other. I thought, ifâif they can't be happy, or at least satisfied, how can there be any hope for me?
Okay, so now we maybe have a clearer picture of who Dean is: heâs a killer (or he kills people) but he does so for the greater good. To help people other than himself. This is not exactly news to us, I mean, this episode is not telling us anything actually NEW about Dean but the catch is that itâs not about him, itâs about regarding him. How people perceive him and how he perceives himself. The last being the most important thing, weâll have the answer at the end of the episode.
Rowena also drops the âhappyâ bomb. Sheâs talking based on the assumption that she must do things in order to be happy, even if these are horrible things, things she tells herself she's fine doing them because itâs the price of power. Weâre starting to see the old theme of the âprice of happinessâ and Rowena thinks sheâs paid it but sheâs still unhappy and sheâs becoming hopeless.
(Cas' love declaration in s15x18 echoes Rowena's dialogue, apart from the Dean thing (you're not a killer aka you're not how your enemies regard you, you're the most caring man aka you're how the people that love you regard you etc), Cas' words circle around the same concept: happiness is not in the having, is in the being or, maybe even more importantly, is in the giving oneself permission to be your true self)
Now we need to talk about Sam. While Dean is having an existential crisis in the bathroom, Sam drops another fucking bomb: âYou know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him... This might actually be worseâ.
Excuse me, sir? I mean, this is a very very loaded thing to say. To Sam Winchester seeing his brother dying might be better than watching him become not him. Which is also incorrect, because Dean is not not becoming him, heâs just Dean without "the weight" of the past on his shoulders. (btw, will somebody please give a hug to this giant man who's lived a life where death is o-kay and what's worse is living and not knowing how to move on? Please??? He needs it!) I think this says more about how Sam feels about himself than about how he feels about Dean and his relationship with his brother. And I think Iâm right because at the end of the episode Sam explicitly says he was jealous. Sam really should be the one regarding himself in the mirror (and itâs a fucking shame that we didnât get something like this for Sam because god, itâd be bomb) trying to remember who he is because Dean might be losing his memories but Sam is totally lost and in the dark.
He doesnât call Mary or Cas because ??? but he does call Rowena for help, Rowena magically teleports and immediately arrives (okay she has an agenda but she does come super quickly, letâs give her that), she agrees to help them and to all of that Sam says: âI obviously donât trust youâ. Which, to be honest, fair, Sam I approve your long-lasting distrust of everything that has to do with Crowley because you have real reasons to do so. But itâs also time for you to learn to create meaningful connections and you cannot do so if youâre not willing to trust people. (important: Rowena tries to steal the Black Grimoire in this ep, the same book that sheâll try to steal in s13. Sam will then give her the one page she needs for her spell, so, you know, way to go Sam! It takes him one whole season to trust Rowena with one only page of the book but, progress).
Okay, time to wrap this rambling up with the final scene. We have this dialogue right here and itâs so gooood:
Sam: So how you holding up after the spell?
Dean: That thing kicked my ass.
Sam: You know, I gotta be honest. I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first.
Dean: Of what? The curse that nearly killed me?
Sam: No, just, you know... some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for... forever. And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy.
Dean: Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it. So... that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.
Sam and Rowena were a little jealous at first. Because Dean showed them life without the weight of the things they carry, the things theyâve done. Dean looked HAPPY. We can infer that Sam and Rowena are not happy, they do feel the weight of the things theyâve done and they would like OUT. They still have a long walk ahead of them to discover who they are apart from what they do and decide whatâs next, what they decide to do, who they want to be and what are the actions that can lead them there.
But Dean, Dean is almost there, people. Heâs not lost at all, even though he was the one with the brain almost gone. âIt was usâ and âit was what we doâ. The distinction for him itâs clear. And he has weighted the pros and the cons and he has decided that IF that's what happiness is, if happiness is just forgetting about the crap, forgetting about the past, he will pass. Heâs not willing to pay the price for a happiness where he doesnât have a connection with his family, where the people he cares about (and for whom he does very bad things) are not there. The price for the supposed happiness is not worth Sam, Mary and Cas.
Earlier I said that I thought it was bleak, you know, not knowing yourself apart from other people. But the last scene where Dean is riding Larry (and heâs not yet under the spell so heâs Dean-Dean there) gives a lot of unexpected hope.
The song in the background is nostalgic and, frankly sad:
âSo dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy
Dream while you can
For soon, you'll be a dreadful thing
My son, you'll be a manâ
But itâs appropriate. Dean has accepted that, for him, caring for the people he loves is what constitutes his happiness. He has accepted that âhorrible thingsâ have been done and maybe will be done in their names. Acceptance is key: heâs on the right path to discover new parts of himself. He doesn't want to lose "the crap" because losing it means he'll also lose the people he cares about. And without the these people, without Sam, Mary and Cas, he doesn't yet know who he is. But he wants to find out. He wants to move on. And he wants to move on with the people he loves, doing "the good and the bad", not alone, oblivious and fake-happy. Itâs bittersweet as all changes are but it must be done. Heâs ready to grow up, ready to be a man, ready for love, ready to start a family, guys :").
(unfortunately it'll all go to pieces when Cas dies and Mary disappears in the AU (OF COURSE Dean will lose his will to live after that, because he was still in the process of differantiating himself from others, but he was SO there ffs) so thanks for nothing s12)(s14 "Lebanon" thankfully comes back to this theme and there Dean finally says, again and out loud for the people in the back, that he's okay with the choices he's made because they resulted in this crazy-ass, totally weirdo, supernatural family and he loves it and he's good with that. PERIOD)
#spn#supernatural#spn rewatch#spn season 12#regarding dean#dean winchester#sam winchester#rowena macleod#spn s12#spn meta#phd in spn s12
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