#s: the protagonist/neil

[runner-beans]

if kisses were like seeds by j_gabrielle

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Tenet

Relationship: the Protagonist/Neil

Summary: "Why do you kiss like you already miss me?" He does not have an answer. Even if it is one he can give.

[monkayy]

Kitty cats are pretty fun to draw

[thenightling]

Dead boy Detectives review

I've watched all eight episodes of Dead Boy Detectives and it was a decent show. It's not something I may obsess over like The Sandman, or The Witcher, but it was decent.

Dead Boy Detectives is the story of Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland. Edwin was killed during a Satanic ritual in 1916. Charles died from hypothermia and internal bleeding after some bullies drove him into an ice-cold lake while throwing rocks at him.

(Note: That was not how Charles actually died in the source material. In the comics, Lucifer had quit and shut down Hell (the basis for the TV show Lucifer) so many evil souls returned to Earth, including the boys that sacrificed poor Edwin. They badly burnt Charles' back on a hot stove and Charles died from his injuries.)

The two ghosts decided to dedicate their afterlife solving mysteries to help other ghosts find peace. They are aided by psychic, Crystal Palace, who is haunted by her abusive ex-boyfriend who happens to be a demon.

Both Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland originated in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists, The Sandman: Volume 4. Issue 25 of The Sandman comics, and within Act 2 of The Sandman audio drama.

The Dead Boy Detectives made their TV first appearance in Doom Patrol for HBO Max (now Max). During a shakeup at Max the show was moved over to Netflix as to better connect it with The Sandman since that is where they originated.

The show features different actors from the ones that played Charles and Edwin on Doom Patrol.

The Dead Boy Detectives is a decent show but ...it feels a bit like a CW teen drama. I had been told that some of the show's writers were originally writers for the CW... and it shows.

There are some deliberately surreal elements of the show that I think are a callback to their appearance in Doom Patrol.

I love the variety of supernatural entities in the show, including the appearance of two of Morpheus's siblings. Death and Despair. The things I don't like about the show can be considered CW tropes or cliches. The angsty romances and unrequited love. The ham-fisted abusive ex metaphor between Crystal and David The Demon.

And of course the most tedious of CW tropes, the end of the episode pining and angst while a sad pop song plays in the background.

If you look past the CW-ness of it, the show is enjoyable.

The only other things I can complain about is the "connecting thread" subplot of The Afterlife: Lost and Found feels like unnecessary filler. And I wish they would openly establish that Edwin, being an innocent, would NOT return to Hell if collected by Death now. I don't think that should be left hanging over his head. Especially since we're supposed to see Death as a kind entity. Also I think Charles says "Aces" a little too much. It's very distracting and makes me feel like the writers didn't know much late 80s English slang. It would be like if he was an American and they had him say "Radical" all the time. I get that it's kind of his catchphrase but it also got a bit annoying.

The parts I don't like are CW tropes and what I'd consider to be late 90s Vertigo edginess.

The thing I liked were plentiful though. The protagonists were and are likable. The ending is satisfying enough so that if there is only one season this was still good. I liked that it appears that one can ascend out of Hell after some self-reflection as is indicated by the boy Edwin confronted in Hell. The blue light was established to mean ascension, a good afterlife.

I also LOVE the opening credits theme music and animated sequence. It reminds me of the intro to Showtime's Creature Feature movies. (See the trailer for 2001's She Creature, not the 50s version. Watch the trailer at thirteen seconds in, on Youtube, and you'll see what I mean).

That's two Gothic themed shows from Netflix in the last two years with great opening credits sequences. The first being Wednesday. That one won Danny Elfman an Emmy.

It's funny, Wednesday and Dead Boy Detectives (which is a spin-off of The Sandman) have great opening credit intro sequences but The Sandman does not. Apparently Neil Gaiman was told people don't watch the opening credits anymore so The Sandman doesn't have them.

I feel we were cheated out of what could have been a great opening sequence for The Sandman.

Episodes 7 and 8 of Dead Boy Detectives were probably the best of the series. I liked it well enough that if Dead Boy Detectives gets renewed I'll happily watch season 2.

[im-this-kind-of-girl]

Aziraphale and Crowley's unhinged character analyzis (pt1)

Controversial opinion:

Aziraphale and Crowley at the end of Season2 managed to accomplish the main goal they each had since the beginning of time. Only to realize that what they wanted no longer made them happy.

It sounds crazy, but to explain myself I have to do an in-depth analysis of their personalities and the possible transformation arc that both characters are probably going to have at the end of the Good Omens story.

Disclaimer: I have no idea about what is going to happen in Good Omens. This analysis could clearly be considered a theory since I'm not Neil Gaiman, but as someone who knows about narrative and character structure, I'm going to elaborate. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry in advance.

Aziraphale

First let's talk about Aziraphale. For two reasons, firstly because he is the one who seems to deserve the most defense right now; and second because Aziraphale, in my opinion, is the main character of Good Omens. This is because Aziraphale, out of the two, is the one who is likely to have the biggest change in his personality once his arc ends.

In a story, especially one like Good Omens with many characters, it is common for there to be many arcs, as every character has something to learn. Crowley, as a co-protagonist and love interest, is clearly going to have a change at the end of the plot, but his change won't be as big as our angel's.

First things first, what is a transformation arc?

It is the transformation that a character undergoes from the beginning to the end of the story. Basically, at the beginning of a story, a character is in a certain state of equilibrium, he lives and thinks in a certain way until he is exposed to a situation that forces him to act outside of his comfort zone. During this, he will undergo different changes that will be reflected in actions that take him away from his natural state until the climax, where the character will make a decision that will change his normality forever. This is important. In every story, the climax marks a before and after in the protagonist's life: whatever he decides at this moment has no turning back and will mark his life forever, so that after the climax, the character may again have a state of equilibrium but different from the initial one.

What is the climax of Good Omens? Well, in the 1st season we have the bodie swap and in the second season the separation of Crowley and Aziraphale. But of the story itself? It's still a mystery.

Neil Gaiman has already confirmed that Good Omens is a three-act story, so its climax will be located at the end of season 3. We still don't know what definitive change there will be in our characters… although throughout the series we have enough clues to at least know what they probably have to work on changing.

Aziraphale's Role

In order to analyze Aziraphale we must begin by understanding his role within the angelic hierarchy. Aziraphale was created as a Cherub and then, after Eden, became a Principality. Both ranks have one thing in common: they are guardian roles.

Cherubs are second in the highest circle of heaven, below Seraphims. They are described as "guardians of the universe from a divine plane and without direct contact with humans, although they positively influence them". On the other hand, Principalities are seventh within the last circle of the angelic hierarchy, and the highest rank within it. They are the guardians of nations and countries, overseeing global events within politics and commerce.

So, Aziraphale was created with the main purpose of being only one thing: a soldier. His function is to obey and protect objects, places and beings. That is why he was the angel who received the sword of fire, his task was to protect Eden. But he also has a very strong sense of intrinsic goodness that has led him to make erratic decisions throughout history that question just how much he is willing to obey orders.

If Aziraphale feels that something is wrong, he won't do it. It doesn't matter if he has to go against Heaven or sin. It doesn't matter if killing a child saves the rest of the world, he won't do it. It doesn't matter if God will grant Job new children, he can't stand idly by. These actions make him stand out from the rest. A simple soldier just obeys while Aziraphale has a critical mind, he has too strong of an opinion about right and wrong. If an event happens that he considers evil, Aziraphale will go to great lengths to prevent it.

It is remarkable that the first thing he did having free will was to give his sword to Adam and Eve. Of course he did it with the function of protecting them but, by giving them his only weapon, Aziraphale was left in a serious state of vulnerability. He did it because he is good and kind, but it could also be considered an act of sacrifice. Here enters another important issue when talking about Aziraphale that relates to religion itself.

The Martyr Hero

One of the most basic conceptions about the Christianity is that without sacrifice a person cannot really be good. Jesus was crucified to free us from our sins; Job sacrificed his whole life to prove that his faith was genuine. Even centuries later, the ecclesiastical institution maintains that the more you suffer, the poorer you are, the more chances you have of ending up in Heaven.

All the sacrifices made in life will eventually be rewarded in the Kingdom of God. It is the eternal figure of the martyr that is worshipped in Church, the idea that to really love, to really do good, sacrifices must be made.

Aziraphale believes this blindly. Now, he is an angel, not a human. He will not have an eventual reward of any kind, and that does not matter to him, because he considers himself lucky to be able to be a being of light who brings happiness to others no matter the price he has to pay. He was willing to fall only to save the lives of Job's children just because it was the right thing to do.

Performing actions for your own happiness without thinking of the consequences is frowned upon throughout the Bible. It is considered selfish and is a great source of guilt for all its faithful.

There is a line from the Good Omens Musical that has always stayed with me. When they argue, Crowley tries to talk some sense into Aziraphale by claiming all the reasons why he should help him avoid Armageddon, to which Aziraphale replies "you and I are not important."

Why didn't Aziraphale quickly give in to the proposal to stop the end of the world? Why didn't he tell Crowley where the Antichrist was without hesitation? Why did he help Gabriel in spite of everything? Why didn't he kiss Crowley back although he wanted to?

Truth be told, Aziraphale does not prioritize his own happiness because he does not consider himself important.

At the center of it all is God, good and ineffable who would never let anything happen unless it is not amenable to the greater good, then there is all the rest. Aziraphale believes he is just a soldier with a mission: to protect the Earth and everything he considers worth saving. He is not on this list: his welfare does not matter to him because, in the grand order of things, Aziraphale does not believe he is important.

There is no afterlife reward for him, though that doesn't stop him from feeling guilty about wanting it.

Aziraphale's dilemma

Aziraphale's great dilemma ould be summed up as:

Do I do what I want or do I do what I must?

Should he obey the rules or get what his heart yearns for now that it is within his grasp?

Throughout Good Omens, we learn Aziraphale has given into various temptations such as food. But these sins are small in comparison to what he really wants. For how does he explain to God that what his heart desires the most is to be able to love the Serpent of Eden?

He is madly in love with Crowley. He could lose everything: his bookstore, restaurants, music, art, but the feelings he has for him will never go away. It were years of repression, believing that if he loved him in silence, everything would be okay.

Now, in the season finale, Crowley expresses it, confesses and kisses him, offering him what he has always secretly wanted on a silver platter.

But Aziraphale was also offered a place in Heaven, finally being accepted by the family he misses. Aziraphale spent the entire 2nd season getting involved in trying to save Gabriel, in bringing Maggie and Nina together, getting perhaps a little too invested because he clearly missed having a purpose.

He was not well emotionally. He missed feeling that he does good because, despite everything, he believes in the potential that Heaven has. Aziraphale knows that if he is in charge, if he gives up everything that makes him happy, if he stops being selfish as he was all these years, he can make the necessary change to prevent the End of the World.

Aziraphale is a soldier whose main goal has always been to protect. Becoming the supreme Archangel he is able to protect everyone he loves. Because of this, he decides to sacrifice his earthly happiness and make the most difficult decision but the one he feels is right: to leave Earth, reject Crowley and become Head of Heaven.

The end of his arc and Crowley

Like any arc, Aziraphale's is clearly at the end of the story. He's already changed a lot, and he's done mostly so because of Crowley. Not just because of love, no, Crowley manages to awake something in him. Crowley is the driving force that encourages change in him, that reaffirms or questions his beliefs whenever he is in doubt about whether something is right or wrong. He inspires something that Aziraphale, an obedient soldier of the Lord never had: freedom.

Obviously, our angel always had that spark of freedom, though repressed, hidden in the darkest part of his being because he knows it is something that makes him different from the rest and he doesn't like to admit that he doesn't fit in Heaven.

Because this means that he doesn't fit in Hell either, nor on Earth completely. Ergo, admitting to being different means confirming his suspicion that he doesn't fit in anywhere. But he never had to pretend this with Crowley.

Knowing all this, how will Aziraphale's arc end?

Well, he's going to have to choose between heart and duty again. Aziraphale is going to want to save Earth at the Second Coming, that's obvious. He is going to be forced to disobey Heaven once again as he realizes that he cannot change them. In this way, he will confirm something tragic: his sacrifice was in vain.

But it is necessary that he can assume this in order to understand that he is wrong:

It is not necessary to suffer in order to deserve love.

It is not necessary to sacrifice everything that makes you happy to prove you are good.

Eternal sacrifice is not the solution. Aziraphale has to learn that being happy and being loved is not a reward that has to be given, no, it is something he is worthy of without the need to sacrifice his life. Aziraphale must understand that he does not have to prove that he is a good person by martyrdom. He is a good person because he is empathetic, smart and sweet.

The secret is to find the balance between love and duty, between good and evil, to embrace his freedom and find happiness by accepting his mistakes that make him different from the rest. The easiest way is to learn to love in the most genuine way: the human way. Discovering that love does not necessarily have to be painful or repressed, that he can do it openly, that what he feels is not a test of faith, but the reward he has been waiting for all these years.

Aziraphale will ultimately become free through Crowley's love.

[theshippirate22]

hi welcome to my essay

is this based solely in my insane brainrot? yeah probably. i’m doing it anyway

THE TIME TAYLOR SWIFT CONFIRMED ANDERPERRY LORE

This is Josh Charles

If you don’t know who he is, that’s cool. No one does. If you do know who he is, you’re probably gay, depressed, or both. Probably both.

And this is Josh Charles in 1989, in the critically acclaimed, cult classic film Dead Poets Society

Does he look familiar? Well, if you’re big on pop culture and/or a Swiftie, he should

Because THIS is Josh Charles in 2024

in Taylor Swift’s Fortnight music video

But who’s that standing next to him?

It’s Ethan Hawke

Who ALSO starred in Dead Poets Society (1989)

Kind of weird right? But whatever

UNTIL you remember that Fortnight is the first track off the latest Taylor Swift album

called The Tortured Poets Department

Now, the premise of the music video is that Taylor was in love with Post Malone’s character but only for a fortnight and losing him after loving him is what drove her into madness basically, so she’s been imprisoned in this asylum called The Tortured Poets Department where Josh Charles and Ethan Hawke are doctors that are experimenting on her to help her get over her love for Post Malone. Note that Post Malone is also there and is another one of the doctors.

Canonically in Dead Poets Soceity Josh Charles’ character Knox Overstreet is in sort of this awkward situationship with a girl named Chris Noel, who’s “practically engaged” to this idiot called Chet and it's assumed that after everything goes down at the end of the film, Knox stops pursuing her and Chris marries Chet to live out her horrific 1950's housewife prophecy.

Similarly, Ethan Hawke’s character, Todd Anderson, is in this tragic queer-coded homoerotic friendship with main protagonist Neil Perry (played by the lovely Robert Sean “Bobby” Leonard) that never manages to come to fruition because of Neil’s untimely death via suicide.

So back to Taylor. Obviously she's a patient in The Tortured Poets Department being treated for her hopeless love for Post Malone. She says she even took the "magical move-on drug" but "the effects were temporary," which implies that what Josh and Ethan are testing on her is this drug, this cure-all for lost romance, and they haven't quite figured it out.

Which makes perfect sense, when you think about what happened to Knox and Todd. They had these short-lived perfect loves with Chris and Neil respectively that ended before anything could ever happen. Love cut too short, just like Taylor and Post Malone. Which is wild when you realize that means TS basically just confirmed anderperry.

Not only this, but in the movie, the boys are encouraged to write and enjoy poetry thoroughly, and while all the boys take it to heart, Knox and Todd are the ones that are frequently seen actually writing poetry. Knox uses it to try and win Chris over, as well as working through his feelings for her, while Todd uses it as a guilty pleasure sort of thing that he's seemingly embarrassed by (which I could talk about for 25 pages but I'll spare you.)

So basically, just like Taylor, Knox and Todd are also tortured poets. Which means not only are they the doctors trying to come up for a cure for their own maladies, they're also patients in the Tortured Poets Department

THEY'RE JUST AS CRAZY AS TAYLOR.

If that seems too big a stretch, remember that Post Malone is there. From his bridge we see that he's going through the same thing as Taylor except on the opposite side, and he's also seen in the poetry room with Taylor, confirming that he himself is a poet as well, and in the lab he's also a doctor. So Josh and Ethan are patients just as much as Post Malone is, who's just as much as Taylor.

All four of them are locked in together, trying to get over these lost loves they are mourning.

By deliberately choosing not just Ethan Hawke to cameo, but also Josh Charles, and not say Dylan Kussman or Gale Hansen, or even MAIN STAR Bobby Leonard, it draws a direct parallel between Knox and Todd's characters, and therefore between Chris and Neil, and therefore, Taylor Swift has basically confirmed the ongoing implication that anderperry was the metaphor all along.

[fallen-angel-adam-frankenstein]

Thinking about how the Big Four of dark academia really feels like the Big Three of dark academia that a last-minute addition was added onto, not because it’s any less a part of and representative of the aesthetic but because its mood and message differs so greatly from the other three - that last-minute addition being Dead Poets Society. Hear me out as I rant about character types, classism, doing it for the aesthetic, themes, tones, and substance abuse (and, obviously, spoiler warnings for Dead Poets Society, The Secret History, If We Were Villains, and Kill Your Darlings):

Firstly, I want to draw comparisons between who I consider to be the protagonists of each story, focusing a lot on how I feel that each of them has a barrier between himself and another group of people within the story. Starting with the one that I relate to the most and progressing in no organisational order after that, we have from The Secret History Richard Papen, an English major who came from an impoverished old town in California to the lovely little college in Hampden, Vermont on account of loads and loads of scholarships. Fascinated and a bit infatuated with the Greek class, he is able through partly his own talent but mostly dumb luck to join their ranks, only to find out that the people he admired and romanticised are all a bunch of classist, selfish, rich addicts. Desperately wanting to be a part of this group, Richard has to break the financial barrier (as well as the seclusion engineered by Julian) between him and them in order to get in with the “cool kids.” However, this doesn’t work out for him at the end, as he doesn’t even get invited to their bacchanal or Bunny’s murder and yet has to suffer for the fallout of both events. It’s made clear that this is not the kind of life you want to live, and Richard even returns to California after the main body of the book concludes. Allen Ginsberg of Kill Your Darlings is confronted with a similar barrier, although his is less financial (he’s well-off enough to make it to college without scholarships) and more the sort of subcultural difference between the life he left at home and how Lu and his friends live. Just like Richard, he risks and loses it all to gain the affection of this new group, who, just like in TSH, leave him high and dry in the end. Oliver Marks also risks it all for his group in If We Were Villains, although they don’t necessarily abandon him in the same sense and really he alienates himself by taking the fall for Richard (Stirling)’s death. His barrier is also mainly financial, as he ends up having to pay for Dellecher through scholarships and a work-study deal, something which you can tell he is ashamed about (hmm classicism -_-) as he tries to hide it from the rest of the group, who can all afford the school on their own (or their families can). Since this story differs from the rest because it starts off with Oliver already a part of the tightly-knit group, you can’t really talk about him vying for approval as in TSH or Kill Your Darlings, but the sense of him being a part of a slightly different world is still there. Meanwhile, you don’t get this same sense in DPS. I maintain that Neil is the central figure in DPS, but for the sake of this let’s look at Todd, who does have to make his way into the group after it was already formed. Todd’s barrier is not financial but all in his own head: his social anxiety and awkwardness prevents him from initiating a relationship with any of the other Dead Poets. Because he has this different kind of barrier, it’s easier for him to overcome it, and it turns out well for him in the end, while it doesn’t for the protagonists of the other three stories.

Besides that, the other characters also play a role in how DPS feels separate from the other three. All four dark academia stories are about rich kids at their core, but DPS is the only one that doesn’t feel like it’s about rich kids. Why is that? I think it’s because of how they chose to present the characters. In TSH, the whole main cast, essentially, sucks - Henry is full of it, Bunny has all sorts of problems, Charles is an abusive drunkard, not to mention his incestuous relationship with Camilla, and Francis knows about this relationship and is fine with it, even being fine to casually fuck Charles on top of it (and he’s classist as fuck, but that’s a discussion for a later date). You might think, “oh, but Richard isn’t too bad” - yeah, but he did let them all get away with not one but two murders and was only worried about Charles abusing and fucking Camilla because he felt attraction to Camilla himself, so. Anyway, my point is that everyone in the Greek class is either a rich asshole or wants to be like the rich assholes, so that’s not good. There’s a similar thing in Kill Your Darlings where they’re all addicts and alcoholics and people who generally don’t give a fuck about how other people react to their drama and fun times, and you can see how Lu even uses David and later Allen and then throws them both away casually. Yeah, they have a cool vision of revolutionising poetry, but they’re not really characters that one can necessarily relate to, because they’re all just too caught up in themselves. IWWV, too - you don’t see this as much, but it comes out a bit when Oliver hides in shame the fact that he has to work to pay for school. While IWWV has a cast of characters that I can relate to and like the most out of the three I’ve talked about so far, there’s still a little bit of disconnect, an unattainability about them, and it’s clear that they’re all deeply fucked: Richard, before he died, was an abusive asshole, James killed Richard and then not only started mirroring him a bit when he hurt Oliver but then let Oliver while away ten years of his life in prison for Richard’s death (and either killed himself or faked his death), Alexander got even worse into drugs and then presumably got clean but man did he have PTSD from that school year, Meredith is surrounded by men lusting after her and feels lonely, Wren also has PTSD from that school year, and Filippa . . . got into a relationship with her teacher and we don’t talk about this? So while they’re three-dimensional, engaging, and entertaining, they’re all still just plain messed up. However, the Dead Poets aren’t like this. Obviously, there’s Neil’s suicide, but that’s different - it’s not messed up because he was already messed up, it’s messed up because the authority figures in his life (excluding Keating) messed him up themselves, breaking his spirit with the pressure they put on him and with the criticism of his passion. But to the point, in the sense of the characterisation of the main cast, DPS feels different from the other three because the Dead Poets are three-dimensional, engaging, entertaining, and even likeable in a way that the characters from the other three are not. And they’re all rich enough to attend a very well-to-do private boarding school, but they’re not stuck-up and classist, in fact hardly ever bringing up matters of money and even making fun of the Danburrys a bit. They feel more accessible than any other group does, which is what I respect about them.

And last but not least, the message. As far as the moods/tones and themes of the Big Four go, DPS is the only one with any sort of hope at the ending, and the only one with a “true” aesthetic for the characters to chase. The three of the dark academia Big Four all focus on taking something too far and it going horribly wrong - the Greek class gets so into studying the Classics that they have a bacchanal and kill a man and then kill a man to prevent him from telling someone that they killed a man, which leads to yet another man dead and the rest of them unhappy; the Dellecher fourth-years get so into Shakespeare and the roles they play/their typecasts that Richard ends up dead, Oliver ends up in prison, James ends up either dead or faking his death, and everyone else suffers like I mentioned earlier; and in Kill Your Darlings, David ends up dead, Lu ends up in prison, and Allen ends up expelled. TSH has a very bleak epilogue - Richard is confused and yearning, Charles is still drunk and who-knows-where cut off from the rest of them, Camilla has her dying grandmother to worry about, Henry and Bunny are dead, and Francis is forcing himself to marry a woman he doesn’t even like as a person, let alone not being physically attracted to her whole-ass gender, because he would rather make himself miserable than be cut off from the financial support of his family. Donna Tartt leaves us with a depressing, unsatisfying ending - which is all part of the theme, but I’ll get to its relation to DPS later. All in all, TSH’s tone is a very dark one, and its message to not let yourself get so caught up in the aesthetic that you let yourself fall/sacrifice your morals (and also not to idolise rich assholes because they can and will use you and ruin your life), while relevant and important, is far from inspiring or uplifting. Similarly, they go too far in IWWV, pursuing Shakespeare until it fucks them all up, and it has a similar theme to TSH. Its ending, while I like it better than TSH’s, is still quite pessimistic; there’s a little glimmer of possibility there, but not really all that much, and you get the sense that things are never going to fix themselves. In Kill Your Darlings, too, Lu and Allen get so caught up in the New Vision that they let the rest of their lives fall apart around them, and the ending is a bit confused and “meh.” DPS, however, has a lot of hope in its ending. Yes, Neil’s death was sad, and so was Keating taking the fall for it, but despite that, Keating is able to walk out of that classroom with a smile on his face; the ending isn’t entirely sad, it’s bittersweet. DPS’s message is all about carpe diem, seize the day, make your lives extraordinary, and they all presumably go on to do that (except Neil, who died because he was unable to do that). While the aesthetic the characters chase in TSH sort of hinges on their rich assholery, the aesthetic the characters chase in IWWV more or less depends on their isolation and general fucked-up-ness, and the aesthetic the characters chase in Kill Your Darlings is pretty much based on substance abuse and not giving a fuck, all of which lead to their lives being ruined on varying levels, the aesthetic the characters chase in DPS not only doesn’t really ruin their lives and also seems to be much more attainable in a tangible way. While Keating loses his job, he’s able to walk out of the classroom with a smile on his face because he knows that he did what he came there to do - he inspired his students to live life to the fullest and think for/be true to themselves, which is actually a quite healthy aesthetic to strive for, especially compared to the other ones I’ve talked about. The ending of DPS isn’t entirely happy, but there’s so much hope in it, something which the other three lack, and because of that, it feels separate from them.

Anyway yeah. I’m not going to write a big ol’ conclusion because I’ve already taken up so much space, but yeah. Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk lol.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 16

PREVIOUS

Sweeties is very busy tonight but they get a table relatively quickly. He sees some people looking at their group all dressed in the ‘required’ attire for going out to Eden’s and reminds himself that maybe it’s for the best that people remember him tonight. It MAY help the police find his body in a shallow grave somewhere if they can piece together his last few hours.

Nicky stops by the salad bar and grabs three packs of crackers. He hands one pack to FF who just stares blankly at it before shrugging and figuring his stomach needs something so he opens the pack and just eats the crackers.

Nicky looks at him with an abundance of fondness that he doesn’t understand but shakes his head and hands a laminated menu over to him to order dinner from. “I know you’re not drinking but you still gotta take your meds before we leave.” Nicky reminds and FF nods. He reaches into his pocket to confirm that they’re there and feels something cheap and plastic.

Oh god, he forgot to take his Happy Meal Toy out of his pocket. No one needs to know that.

He shoves his hand into his other jacket pocket and the sandwich baggy with his single dose for his Ulcer is right there.

He starts to look at the menu when he realizes that everyone else already knows what they’re going to order since they apparently come here regularly. He tries his best to never be a regular at any place where they can see him and repeat his order back to him (Hello CVS girl, yes thank you for holding some Pepto for him. No he is very brand loyal and would not like to try Tums thank you.)

FF stands behind the art of the panic pick.

He has cultivated this ability over his many years of panicking. He can look at a menu and pick an item that might not be the thing he most wants on that menu it is something that he can eat or drink. Then while he has that pick queued up and ready to fly if a member of the waitstaff comes over before he’s actually read what’s on offer he has his panic pick.

A place like this has GOT to have a burger.

He finds it under the sandwich section easily enough and now he has his panic pick as he peruses the rest of the menu.

The waitress comes far faster than he had anticipated and slams waters down at each of their spots. “What can I get you?” She asks and before anyone says anything Nicky and Aaron slide over the two packets of crackers that she takes before looking at the empty packet in front of FF, “Just two?” She asks.

WHAT KIND OF CODE IS THIS?

“Just two.” Nicky says grabbing his trash and handing it over to her.

She shrugs, “Anything else on the menu I can get you boys?” She asks.

They all make their orders and Nicky, bravely, steps in to remind him he likes his burgers well done when the waitress asks.

“Sorry, I should have warned you.” Nicky laughs bumping his shoulder against FF’s “This place has this stuff called cracker dust, it gets you high but it’s not addictive.” He says.

Every single 80’s PSA goes off in FF’s head all at once.

NICKY “FLIPS TURTLES BACK ONTO THEIR FEET” HEMMICK DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HOW THE ‘JUST SAY NO’ ADS HAD SAID HE WOULD.

There’s not a trench coat! He wasn’t even wearing a hoodie with the hood up! There’s no sunglasses! Nicky had given him a baggie for his ulcer meds but IT WAS A SANDWICH BAG.

“I see.” He says out loud.

“Do you wanna try some.” Aaron asks. He double checks and yeah Aaron is still in the same club clothes he had left the house with. He has on a hoodie but the hood is down.

He does as any 80’s teen sitcom protagonist does by the end of the episode.

“No thank you.”

He thinks Mr. T would be happy that he said No. That ad had been especially nerve wracking as a kid when Mr. T ‘shakes some sense’ into the camera.

“Alright, no worries. Neil and Andrew don’t do any either.” Nicky says quickly.

The drugs come with the food and Nicky and Aaron pocket them before handing over cash to the waitress who just counts it right there. He focuses on digging into his burger and realizes it has jalapeños on it but Nicky volunteers to eat them with his nachos and lets the conversation weave around him as he polishes off his burger and takes his ulcer meds. “Oh cool, hand me the bag so I can keep our stuff in there.” Nicky makes a grabbing motion with his hands and FF just hands it over.

He zones out as he eats his fries. He wonders if Great Gran is upset watching him or if she’s happy that he said no to drugs. Maybe he should have said yes, then he could at least be blasted out of his mind when Andrew dragged him to the basement.

Well, it’s too late now.

The waitress comes and clears out their plates but picks up her notepad and pen again. “So, what ice cream do you boys want tonight?” She asks and looks straight at FF.

But FF is prepared.

Ice cream places are easy. His panic pick is a given, it’s Vanilla. Every ice cream joint has it so he barely even notices how his heart rate kicks up to 190 BPM and his palms grow instantly sweaty.

“Vanilla.”

“Sorry Hun, we’re fresh out.”

OH GOD. QUICK, SAY SOMETHING ELSE.

“Surprise me.”

NO YOU IDIOT SAY CHOCOLATE.

“Surprise you?”

RETRACT, IT’S NOT TOO LATE.

“Yeah. Surprise me.” He repeats and he can FEEL Nicky vibrating with laughter next to him.

“Alright Hun, I’ll surprise you.” She winks at him and he blinks back at her.

The rest of the table all order (They’re all normal people who order strawberry (neil), the special with chocolate (Nicky), Lemon Sorbet (Aaron), and Brownie Fudge (Andrew).

“Surprise me.” Nicky whispers to him.

“I panicked.” He whispers back.

“Yeah obviously.” Nicky snorts but pats him, “It’s fine. The worst is you might end up with Pistachio or something.” He pats FF on the back.

FF likes Pistachio and the world loves to make FF suffer.

“Here you go hun. We just got this in, it’s Mango.” She says setting down two scoops of a bright orange ice cream down in front of him, “With a little surprise.” She winks again as she sets the other ice cream down.

They all get started.

Why is the Ice Cream kind of spicy?

He eventually puzzles out that the waitress has served him a Mango and some kind of pepper (probably habanero) ice cream. She smiles when he thanks her for the surprise, tries not to let it show how much the spice is KILLING his stomach let alone the acid of the mango.

Andrew has his eyes narrowed on him and he’s sure the man doesn’t want him to make a scene at a place that seems to be a frequent haunt for the family. So he eats every last bite and ignores how his lips tingle.

“Ohhh it must have been good. Maybe we should get you her number.” Nicky says looking at his empty bowl.

“No, I’m good.” She was pretty but considering the acid currently swirling in his stomach she probably thought he was an asshole for asking for her to ‘surprise him’. Even if that wasn’t the case, what if she thought it’d be cute to serve him this spicy ice cream as a cute couple thing? His stomach can’t take that.

“Aw man you’re no fun.” Nicky pouts.

They pay for their meals and the waitress hands him his receipt with a wink. He nods back at her before shoving the receipt into his pocket next to the Megamind toy. “Have a good night.” He says.

“You too Hun.” She says.

They head out for Eden’s and in a way the ice cream is a blessing because his stomach hurts enough that he barely even notices his anxiety about being at the place where Andrew most certainly is going to stab him at least once by the end of the night.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​ @insectsgetcooked​ @angry-kid-with-no-money​ @queer-crows​ @lilyndra @themugglemudperson​ @readertodeath​ @apileofpillows​ @mortalsbowbeforeme​ @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio​ @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​

The requests to be added to the tag list got spread out across a few  different mediums on this one so if I missed you I swear it wasn’t malicious I’m just brunch dumb at the moment. Remind me in the replies!

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you  didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[theonevoice]

Rumination n. 5 - What if Aziraphale can make a difference? On choosing each other, for real

There is a scene in s2 that I keep thinking about, and I don't see it discussed almost at all: it's the first conversation between Michael and Uriel after Gabriel's disappearance.

This is a power struggle. Very human, not celestial at all, fight for power. It's not even hidden or coded.

Now - and this could just be my brain getting smooth over this show that is devouring my soul - the more I think about this moment, the more I am convinced that this very human moment (and its various subsequent reprises) is signaling us that Heaven has, so to speak, "margin for improvement." And probably so does Hell.

I feel that we have been oversimplifying Heaven and Hell because they "look" simple and monolytical, especially when compared to the nuanced worldview that Aziraphale and Crowley developed over their 6000 years of experience on Earth. But there are some heavy "shades of grey" in Heaven. They are ruthless, for a start (see the Fall and, well, most of what happens in the Bible). They are proud and arrogant (see how they behave with Aziraphale and "37th order scrivener, but, you know, noone" Muriel). They are power-angry (which, in the context of an existence that doesn't need money or power, its just a symptom of vanity, in my opinion). They have far more human-like qualities than they should, we just don't give much attention to them because our focus is squarely on their stiff adherence to the "Heavenly code" and their role as antagonists/enemies of the protagonists.

Same goes for Hell, with opposite sign: Hastur was shocked by the destruction of Ligur, Shax and Furfur appear to have some form of camaraderie or loyalty towards each other, the demon Josh notices that Beelzebub is acting weird and asks them if they're feeling alright, and Beelzebub, well, is a Grand Duke of Hell capable of falling in love.

So, what if, given this margin, Aziraphale can make a difference?

Until now, if I am not mistaken, the most common take on what expects Aziraphale as Supreme Archangel is "he's going to realize that Heaven cannot be fixed and he will have to finally drop his idealized delusion and fight his way back to Crowley." Which I personally love as a scenario (but, to be honest, I am loving almost any GO scenario that floats in my direction: the creativity of this fandom is unbelievable and so respectful of the characters that every speculation feels like it could be Neil Gaiman's work), but it could undermine the weight of his choice.

Because choice is a theme in this show: not choice as in "choosing sides," but choice as in "making up one's mind and taking a serious, conscious, thought-through decision." And if Heaven is just a lost cause, unable to change and irredimable, then it's not much of a choice for Aziraphale to go back to Crowley. But if Heaven does react to change, if the human-like qualities that other archangels have displayed become a bridge, and Aziraphale, with his warmth and kindness and softness, actually manages to bring Michael and Uriel and others on more reasonable positions - then his choice becomes a real choice that he has to make.

Not the "easy" choice between reality and delusion but a hard choice between Crowley and the real opportunity to be the one who makes a difference.

(I am still slightly infatuated with the possibility that, just before the Fall, it was an already damned Crowley who asked him to "be a good angel" and "make a difference" because he could see how genuinely good Aziraphale was, compared to the "institutional goodness" of the others, but I have already blabbered about this in another rumination)

Also, I read a brilliant post a couple of weeks back (I will edit as soon as I find it again) about how, despite their appearance and demeanour, Crowley is basically an engineer, "armed" with a tool for creating cosmic machinery and putting it in motion, while Aziraphale is a fighter, armed with an actual sword. And this got me thinking again: in Christian iconography, Michael is the belligerant archangel, the one who is recognizable by his sword. Now, Neil Gaiman does not let pre-existing traditions dictate what he writes, obviously. But still, we could witness an unforseen connection between Aziraphale and, against all odds, the other sword-wielding entity, Michael: and it could led to some unexpected coalition, possibly even against the Metatron and the plans regarding the Second Coming.

After all, in a way, Michael has already displayed many human and very shades-of-gray traits: let's not forget that, already in s1, it was Michael the one communicating on the "grapevine that obviously doesn't exist" with Hell (I believe behind Gabriel's back: the more I rewatch it, the more I think that he honestly didn't know about it) and still is in s2. It was Michael the one bringing Holy Water downstairs. It is Michael the one that has first-hand experience of what it means to "collaborate with the enemy" in order to get things done.

I don't know how likely this is but it seems to me that it would be interesting if Aziraphale, instead of just leaving Heaven in disgust after some failed attempt at "fixing it," will have to make the hard choice between a Heaven that was starting, for real, to show signs of improvement and his old life on Earth with Crowley.

And something similar could happen on the other side, should Crowley go back to Hell (either out of rage and desperation or because something comes up that forces him to do so). Maybe he could find for the first time ever a sense of "demonic brotherhood" with his "colleagues" (maybe Shax and Furfur themselves). Something that he had never imagined during the six millennia he has spent believing to be alone in the universe if not for Aziraphale.

Maybe their reunion will be about having an alternative to their life together and choosing it anyway. If you think about it, one thing that they never had to do was deciding to be together instead of being somewhere else, doing something else, with somebody else. Being the two of them has always been their only reality - dangerous and hidden, of course, but undisputed, in a way: together since the early days in the Garden, noone else around to compete with that, no other supernatural person-shaped entity to serve as a potential alternative. Their respective head offices are two opposite voids, two negative spaces that have literally nothing that could attract them. Of course, they are in love with each other and they would probably be in love with each other in any possible alternative universe, but it's not like they have chosen to be with each other, they were just the only two person-shaped entities around, pulled together by the gravity of their respective loneliness and fears, doubts and little joys.

But if in s3 we see them acquire "alternatives", something else of value that exists outside their group of the two of them, then they will have to choose their life together for real, this time.

[katy-133]

Some Ace Headcanons and Tropes

Happy June, I made this post for discussing characters who I headcanon as ace, as well as discussing some tropes related to ace coding.

Ace, or asexuality, is when a person feels little to no sexual attraction towards others. This is separate from being aromantic, which is feeling a lack of romantic attraction (though an asexual person can also be aromantic, not all ace people are).

For some of the characters I've listed below, I'll specify as romantic ace (aka, aceallo), someone who feels romantic attraction whilst feeling a lack of sexual attraction. Or demiromantic, someone who feels romantic attraction only after forming a deep emotional bond with a person. Others I'll use the ace umbrella word exclusively.

While you can headcanon characters that fly in the face of canon, I like my ace headcanons to be canon-friendly. Meaning, if the story were to ever confirm that the character is ace, it would not contradict previous characterisation.

Bertie Wooster from Jeeves & Wooster as romantic ace:

The entire book series (and tv adaptation) is about Bertie trying to find ways of getting out of arranged marriages and accidental engagements with various women. These woman are canonically stated to be beautiful--sometimes by Bertie himself. Therefore, Bertie doesn't want to marry them because he finds their looks off-putting, he doesn't want to be with them for another reason. So the plot can be read as an ace story (it is a common experience for ace people to feel pressured by their family to marry someone). Bertie can be read as specifically romantic ace. He's fallen in love (with Miss Wickham and Pauline Stoker). In the books, there's this running motif of Bertie (who narrates the stories) describing his butler-valet, Jeeves, in a way that a person would typically describe their love interest or spouse, with Bertie sometimes making the comparison himself. This has led to interpretations of Bertie being in love with Jeeves.

Crowley from Good Omens as romantic ace:

Is a demon who falls in love with an angel and proceeds to pine for him for 6000 years (which I'm sure is some sort of slow burn world record). There's this trope that demon characters will aggressively flirt and try to seduce another character (the trope's origin stemming from the idea that evil and corruption is seductive in some way, as well as links with the succubus in folklore), which Crowley markedly subverts. Also, take Lucifer in the titular Fox/Netflix series (also based on a work linked with writer Neil Gaiman) and compare him with Crowley in that aspect--Lucifer acts more allosexual and is canonically in multiple sexual relationships. Fiction isn't created in a bubble, so this trope's context helps to code Crowley as ace, as he's subverting a trope (human-looking demons) linked with allosexuality ("demons are seductive"--though ace people can also flirt, in fiction it's often used as a shorthand for allosexuality).

Tintin from The Adventures of Tintin:

Is never given a love interest in the canon, nor shows interest in pursuing it, despite the series being 24 albums and the other protagonists of the "globetrotting adventurer" genre often have love interests (James Bond, Uncharted, Indiana Jones). Similar to Crowley, above, Tintin is subverting a staple aspect of the genre he exists in.

Sniper (Mick Mundy) from Team Fortress 2 as romantic ace:

Sniper never shows attraction towards a woman in any part of TF2's canon (which is particularly notable to me compared to some of the other mercs, who do). We see that Sniper's closest loved ones are his parents; he has no wife or girlfriend (the Administrator only threatens his parents also in the comics). While Sniper's backstory is a direct homage to Superman and is about him being adopted from outside his place of birth, his backstory can also be read as queer coded (he didn't fit in with his peers and he felt like there was something that made him different from them). Sniper is considered to not be attractive by typical Australian standards (in TF2's universe, Australians have superhuman strength and grow moustaches, due to a fictional element called Australium), so Sniper may have never had a relationship while living in Australia, but wanted to. His design and character based on Crocodile Dundee (the lead in a romantic comedy film), but despite that association (and repeated references to it), Sniper has no love interest.

Nick Valentine from Fallout 4 as romantic ace:

He's a robot detective (in the Fallout universe, he's not actually a robot, but a "synth," or synthetic man, but in terms of his character archetype, he falls under the robot archetype. Unlike other companions in the game, you can't be physically intimate with him to gain stat boosts. He has a deceased fiance whom he remembers fondly, and whenever he talks about her, he doesn't allude to sexual attraction, allowing the player to read his love for her as exclusively romantic. Robot characters being ace coded is an old trope with negative associations (such as ace people being viewed as "cold, robotic, and/or emotionless"), but Nick Valentine (being a companion character who gets his own backstory and inner conflict) ends up feeling more human than other characters in the story, subverting the trope. Nick Valentine's symbol is a heart. A neon heart is on his detective agency sign, which you see before you even meet him, a reference to his surname (Valentine = heart). The ace of hearts is an ace symbol for romantic aces (with other card suits representing other aces). Though I would guess naming him Valentine was done to reference different noir detectives (whom Nick is inspired by) being named after card suits (Sam Spade, Nick Diamond), the ace association is still there for viewers.

Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 as romantic ace:

When Mob asks Reigen for advice on confessing to a crush (season 3 in the anime), Reigen cheats by reading advice he found online. His colleague Serizawa notices this and notes that Reigen is inexperienced with relationships. Later on in the conversation, Reigen tells Serizawa that he thinks he'd be rejected if a woman got to know him for who he really is. He's referring to being a con artist, but the scene can also feel ace coded if you read it as Reigen being worried that a girlfriend would dump him if they found out that he was asexual. Earlier in the story, Reigen has a conversation with the spirit Dimple about a spirit stalking a woman. Dimple says, "It's pretty uncommon for spirits to have any sexual desire. We couldn't reproduce if we wanted to." Reigen replies, "Is sexual desire always a part of love, though? I-I really don't want to talk about this with you." Meaning that Reigen separates romantic attraction from sexual attraction.

Dexter Morgan from Dexter as demiromantic ace:

Does not show sexual attraction in the books, as well as the first season of the show (but does show sexual attraction in later seasons that deviate from the books, but we don't talk about those seasons). He describes himself as not being interested in sex. As he puts it, "For me, sex never enters into it. I don't understand sex. Not that I have anything against women, and I certainly have an appropriate sensibility about men, but when it comes to the actual act of sex, it's always just seems so undignified."). Again, similar to robot characters, killers being coded as ace is an old trope with negative connotations. It equates sexual attraction with humanity, empathy, and good moral alignment--implying that asexual people are in some way inhuman or cold. While he's still an antihero or villain protagonist, Dexter in a way subverts this idea, as he only targets other killers, and as the story progresses, he learns more about humanity and it becomes clear to the reader that he's not as inhuman as he describes himself. Dexter also has a girlfriend, Rita, and they're in a celibate relationship due to her past trauma with her ex husband. This leads to conflict in their relationship when Rita later starts questing if they should remove the celibate part of their relationship and Dexter tries to find ways to keep it. Dexter agrees to being her boyfriend at first to help "blend in" as a normal human, but ultimately proves to genuinely care about Rita as a girlfriend. The dramatic irony of him being ace coded and living in Miami, Florida was also a great choice ("Every night in Miami is date night," as Dexter puts it). It leads to Dexter constantly bombarded with his allo colleagues talking about their relationship problems and him awkwardly trying to pretend to relate to it. This can be read as queer coded, as Dexter is trying to fit in while feeling like there's something about him that makes him different from those around him.

Sherlock Holmes:

Film (and to a lesser extent, television) adaptations of Sherlock Holmes have a habit of making the character Irene Addler as Sherlock's love interest. She is not this in the original books, she is known as "the woman" because she taught Sherlock the important lesson of not underestimating someone because of their gender. Sherlock shows no romantic interest in women in the books, with his strongest bond being with Watson. Watson, the narrator, frames it as Sherlock being married to his (Sherlock's) work, which is a trope that invites ace interpretations (read as: It's not just "the work" that keeps them from pursuing sexual relationships--it's their orientation that led to them pursing "the work," reversing the framing). Similar to the "cold killer" character type talked about with Dexter, the "married to their work" trope can have negative inference that the character is cold or unfeeling by valuing their work over their interpersonal relationships. Though in the Sherlock Holmes books, Sherlock is shown to care about Watson as well as show compassion to other characters, including the culprits of some of the storys' mysteries.

Tropes are patterns in storytelling. They're tools, and can be subverted and altered in different ways. They have a history, and learning about their origins and their purpose in a story can help inform you as a storyteller.

In conclusion:

"Aces!" -Sniper

[missroserose]

13 books meme

@introvertia tagged me in this (thank you, lovely, you're such a positive influence on my reading consistency <3) So let's talk books!

1) The Last book I read:

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell. Absolutely destroyed me—90's science fiction, examining the paradoxes of faith and the difficulties of cross-culture exploration, seasoned with a hefty dose of grief and frustrated desire. Might as well have been written for me.

2) A book I recommend:

The Wicked & The Divine, by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. A sprawling examination of the celebrity-industrial complex, cultural and individual objectification, and the dark side of fandom culture. Well worth reading through in its entirety.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Starling House, by Alix E. Harrow. I'm a sucker for a fierce and driven heroine who makes things happen by sheer force of will, despite the odds being against her. Between that and the deliciously spooky atmosphere, I adored this book.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

<i>Good Omens</i>, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Hardly an original answer on this website, but it's a classic for a reason <3

5) A book on my TBR:

Victor Lavalle's The Changeling, thanks to @introvertia's recommendation. I know nothing about it but I'm looking forward to reading it!

6) A book I’ve put down:

The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. I know that the accepted formula for self-help books is to present your one theory and explain why it solves every problem in the known universe, and I hate it, which is probably why I don't read a lot of self-help books. Needless to say, around the time this dude claimed that Hitler wouldn't have become a mass murderer if he'd followed the book's advice, I gave up in disgust.

7) A book on my wish list:

Honestly, I don't have many? I've been enjoying reading from the library, in part because my bedroom is already showing the strain of previous book-buying sprees.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

The Woman Who Rides Like a Man, by Tamora Pierce. I read the entire Alanna series numerous times but I think this was my favorite—I really loved seeing her come into her own independence and learn a new culture (and one that accepted her unusual gender presentation).

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Again, depends strongly on the friend...but I can think of more than a few who'd enjoy the old-school gothic fairytale setting and viciously driven heroine of A. G. Slatter's All the Murmuring Bones.

10) A book of Poetry or Lyrics you own:

Hm...does the script to Hedwig and the Angry Inch count?

11) A nonfiction book you own:

The Devil in the White City, by Erik Larson—they practically issue you a copy when you move to Chicago. (In fairness, it's a cracking read.)

12) What are you currently reading:

Skin Folk, a collection of short stories by Nalo Hopkinson. I'm also rereading (or re-listening to) Mike Carey's The Devil You Know, and enjoying it rather better this time around—I think the first time I tried it, almost ten years ago, I was expecting something more along the lines of The Dresden Files and wasn't quite old enough to appreciate the more emotionally battered and worn-down middle-aged protagonist. Now, being a decade older and having lived through a global pandemic and seen rather more of just how terrible people can be to each other...I think it's more my speed. And possibly good research for if I ever get my angel noir story off the ground.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

Definitely The Changeling.

Bonus Round Shelfie?

I'm at a library right now but I might add one later!

Tagging: @klove0511, @sirsparklepants, @emiliosandozsequence, @skybound2, @ihni, @callieb, @lord-angelfish, @redmyeyes, @misschinablue, and @sea-salted-wolverine—no pressure, obviously, but I'd be interested in your answers!

[spacedoutman]

Death wish for two | Kiss mafia au sneak peek!!

Dear pretty, I know this is an informal letter but I hope it reaches you well.

Remember that night we were talking about space? I still have faith you’ll be able to see it for yourself one day, to be in it, like in the movies. When we make our big break, maybe we can move up to directors or something and if you never get to see the cosmos in this lifetime, I’ll make sure we can at least see them through our own story. I’m not sure what it would be about.

But if it was written with you, I’d never not have faith in it. I’ll always have faith in you. You’re like a star. Your light will reach me no matter where you are.

I love you.

Take care, Spaceman.

Stanley.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Paul comforted, rubbing his back. “Just get it out.”

“I’m s-sorry…”

“I know you’re sorry, but why?”

Ace’s eyes fixed on his. White crowded his irises. His pupils were pin-pricked. Feverish. Bright feverish circles. Paul knew they both knew what it was. Ace broke into breathy stutters.

At this point, Paul believed that the devil was playing with their souls like marionettes until this played out in a way he liked. No, he would’ve gotten bored at this point. It had to be some kid with a couple dolls, a dollhouse and too much time.

He swore he saw the words crawling up Ace’s throat. It was like his emotions read a script. He’d never wanted to hit someone so badly until this point. They swirled around Ace’s tongue. He turned away, shoving his face in his hands. Paul’s eyes dulled.

~

Vince looked up at one of the hanging plants with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He dragged himself over, bent and his arms dangling like a zombie. Paul’s brows drew together. He rushed over, taking Vince by the shoulder and guiding him out of the commotion. Watching Vince stumble brought one thought: ‘Vince isn’t okay.’

“You look like you haven’t slept.” Paul stated more frantically than he’d like to admit. “You need sleep to-”

Vince smiled. He shook his head. Even that seemed to steal his energy. Paul sighed. He looked down before his eyes ping-ponged around the kitchen. “Why’d they change it??”

“Cusano thought it would ‘reflect the protagonist's reserved nature better’, cause it’s, y’know, Victorian.” Vince, brimmed with disdain, scoffed. Paul’s ribs pierced his insides.

“Do you know how much it costed?”

“They wouldn’t tell me.”

Cusano sat on his chair, glaring up from his magazine. Paul wondered if he was in debt himself. He looked toward Vince.

A stack of cards being blown away by just a shift in air was the last month as they rerecorded everything they’d done in a week which Paul could’ve gotten married and raised a family during but yet bled into a smear.

~

The three, like deer in headlights, perked up. “What the fuck..” Eric said under his breath. “Where did that come from?” Bruce stood up. Paul forgot he was tired but soon it clicked. Vince Neil’s voice echoed through the warehouse like a shotgun.

“Cusano’s already on thin ice with you.”

Someone who sounded like they could be in an American royal family cut back. “You’re going to have to work with him. You wouldn’t want to let them down, would you?”

“Who is that?” Eric whispered, glancing around.

[runner-beans]

Working backwards by artemisscribe

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Tenet

Relationship: the Protagonist/Neil

Summary: Chapter One is the right way round. Chapter Two is inverted in case you're interested how that looks.

[surely-galena]

Ask meme for...Kimberly Garner, Vincent Kim and/or Zangr Stewart please!

(Good luck with your presentation! You got this 🥳)

Hi exhausted-impact!!

These are GREAT choices, I feel like I would have more to say if I wasn't so tired but here goes anyway:

Kimberly Garner

First impression: I honestly don't remember much, but one thing that stood out was probably that Artem got his eyes from her! I love finding the resemblances of the NXX team members to their biological family.

What I think now: I like her! Although she's not a perfect mother by any means, I like that she's very casual with Artem. She definitely loves him and wants the best for him, even if she wasn't able to be with him as much as he might have wanted when he was young.

Favorite moment: I'll be honest here, canon and stuff I've read in fic kind of blend together when it comes to Kimberly, but one thing I remember from the game is from the 2023 LNY call. It's where Artem is like, "my mom told me off for not bringing you over for dinner :((" and although it's off screen, it's a fun little interaction. (Non-canon wise, I've written a fic where Kimberly comes over to Artem's place to celebrate his birthday, only to get stuffed into a Trojan horse type thing with the other NXX members to surprise him. Along a similar vein, there's a fic called once more around the sun (i revolve around you) by @samsspambox where Kimberly tries her best to be present for Artem's birthdays after Neil tells her off.)

Vincent Kim

First impression: oh Marius has an assistant! He seems young! Why is he wearing gloves? (<- probably my primary thoughts upon seeing Vincent)

What I think now: I think he's super underrated and underutilized!!! I think there is so much more to Vincent than just being Marius' PA, but the main story almost never goes into these things. I mean, you'd have to be a pretty special person if Marius is going to trust you with research or work for the NXX Investigation Team. I also feel like canon maintains this professional barrier between Marius and Vincent when I think that they should actually be friends outside of work. Because the trust is there, and also because Vincent has canonically walked into Marius trying to flirt with MC. So Vincent has seen things that other people in Marius' life probably wouldn't get to.

Favorite moment: When we learn that Vincent is actually into romance media. It's such a delightful detail to know because it means he's a normal guy, too!!

Zangr Stewart

First impression: ohh fourth wall break guy!!! :D he's so silly. surely he's a one-off guy and won't return later. (also in the Lost Gold event, I was one of those guilty of assuming the picture of Zangr from behind was just Artem. Their hairstyles are very similar from the back.)

What I think now: I'm so glad you asked about him because I love Zangr's character so much, I'm truly delighted every time he appears in an event. Ever since he showed up in Skadi, every time he's not in a major event, I'm a little disappointed he's not going to join in the hilarity.

Favorite moment: My favorite funny moment(s) is probably in the Skadi event when the game mechanic has you approach Zangr to debate him multiple times, because the idea of MC marching up to Zangr nearly every day during her time at Skadi is such a funny idea to me. No matter what, Zangr's not going to get rid of her, and she's not going to stop bumping into him, either. (Slight tangent to this is how I actually don't mind the idea of MC/Zangr as a ship, but with the caveat that it has to be only under very specific circumstances. Otherwise they're like hilarious nuisances that keep running into each other. "Oh no, it's the protagonist debate lady :|" "OHO, it's ZANGR once again >:D"). My favorite serious moment is probably during the Blizzardous Threads of Red event when Zangr has crucial information, but only reveals it when MC goes along with his line of reasoning instead of her usual "because of truth and justice" answer. I think it goes to show that conceptually, MC and Zangr have opposing mindsets and as stubborn as they are, neither of them are willing to give up their point of view for another reason. Which is completely fair, of course, but also incredibly fascinating to me.

Thank you for the ask!! And thank you for the well wishes, the presentation went wonderfully <3

[lorethebookworm]

Whats your favorite trope(s)????

Uuuh I'm gonna do both general ones and extremely niche ones kaksmsmsm yay

Okay general ones we obviously have found family my lord and savior, a bunch of people that found each other and said ?? Yes ?? these are my people forever ??? When it's Christmas these are the people I'll spend it with ??? Beautiful amazing 10/10

Then we have friends to lovers which I really really like as a romantic trope ( might be bc I might be a touch demi but who knows ) bc this person took the time to know the other ? They spent so much time with their friend and it made them fall in love ?? Good fucking shit , bc if they are friends first they love each other not in spite but because of all their quirks and weirdness. ( BUT if they pine for an unreasonable amount of time , like ten years ? That's a solid no, you could have been together all this time don't tell me that for TEN YEARS you kept it inside come on I tell my friends everything it's just not possible ) ( I understand that it is indeed very possible but it just frustrates me bc if this person is your real friend you know them ! They won't hate you for your crush so just tell them ! Also most of the time they CLEARLY reciprocate so stop being stupid !! ) ( This might be very close to one of the niche tropes I hate so, yeah )

Specific ones I got are when the characters know each other/ have a pretty long history and therefore have a crazy amount of inside jokes and stories that only they understand. So when they are with others everyone else is always super confused bc what even happened in Mexico ? Why are you guys laughing at a red motorcycle?? ( I have no idea why I love it so much it's just how it is )

I don't know how specific this one is but I love when a character ( preferably the protagonist ) is a fricking mastermind and always has a plan or a solution for everything akzkkaksksns ( case in point Kaz brekker but also Sherlock Holmes from the bbc series, I think I need to read the books as well )

Another one is whatever my man Neil Josten has got going on? I just generally really like when the protagonist has this whole array of secrets the other characters know nothing about so no one understands why the character reacts in a certain way to things , why they don't know some stuff that is general knowledge to everyone else etc... ( bonus points if the character shares this with only one or two people so now only they understand each other while everyone else stands there confused jbeududigjrvebsksks )

Yeah I have a thing for secrets and being unknowable but wanting to be known and have inside jokes I guess

[sparkliest-bard-bracket]

✨Round 1: Match 47✨

(Asmodean art @shorelle)

Asmodean Propaganda:

his name means Musician (in-universe), he is pathetic evil, he was a composer and plays music, disguised himself as a traveling "gleeman" (AKA bard), i would infodump but i already did once before and i'm exhausted but he is very poor little meow meow coded and he dies the first pov he gets and then none of the characters bother to find out what happened and the identity of the killer isn't even discussed lit was funny but he had so much wasted potential as a character (he was captured by the protagonist and forced to teach him magic, which he did really badly and most of that book he just played music in the background while occasionally the protagonist yelled at him. )

Evil musician my beloved

Neil Cicierega/Lemon Demon Propaganda:

Neil basically invented the early 2000's internet while staying very underground. Also he fits multiple categories by being both a musician and a funny internet guy.

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

felt obligated to list muses and their (known so far) alternates out now, oh no

The Cornelius(es)

Protagonist Cornelius, Classic Cornelius, Happy Cornelius, Space Pirate Cornelius (Neil), Composer Cornelius, Inspector Cornelius, Vampire Cornelius, Angel Cornelius (Corabael), Demon Cornelius (Corey), Inspector Cornelius, Archivist Cornelius, Winter Prince Cornelius, Librarian Cornelius, Lonely Cornelia, Alpha Cornelia (Emily), Beta Cornelius, Gamma Cornelius, Vampire Cornelia (Nelle), Russian Cornelius (Корнелий/Kornelij), British Victorian Cornelius (Dr Gratton), Gem Cornelius (Tiger Eye), Wizard Cornelius, Enthusiast Cornelius, Robot Cornelius, Skeleton Cornelius

The Deimos(es)

Antagonist Deimos, Narrator Deimos, Shadowy Deimos (Phos), Human Deimos (Damien), Demon Deimos (Demien), Mermaid Deimos, Captain Deimos (Captain Deimey Moss), Gem Deimos (Green Jadeite or Emerald), Cat Deimos (Demyaw), Princess Deimos, Farmer Deimos (Dahlia), Redhead Deimos, Wizard Deimos, Alternian Deimos, Mettaton Deimos extra: Arianna and Artemius, Deim's younger siblings extra extra: XJ10 aka Jade (Neil's assistant) extra extra extra: Deinelius (confusion au)

The Frankys

Grumpy: Strayed Franky, Dad Franky, Wizard Franky, Werewolf Franky, Gem Franky (Enstatite), Angel Franky (Frankiel), Female Franky (Franziska) Dorky: The Dork Maddison, Warlock Maddison (Adam), Captain Maddison, Cyborg Maddison, Pilot Maddison, Mechanic Maddison, Magic Maddison, Rick Maddison (Frederick) extra: Marcus Mayfair (employee 517) aka a beta-something-past version of Maddison extra extra: Ludolf Meier (Franky's Uncle) extra extra extra: Adam Smithson, which is clerly related to Franky(s), nuff said

Amelies:

Classic Amelie, Cyberpunk Amelie, Angel Amelie (Amaliel), Parable Amelie (Amber), Male Amelie (Albus), Possessed Amelie (Ambrose), Sinner/Demon Amelie

Sophies:

Fairy Sophie, Employee Sophie (006)

+ Cornelius' ex co-workers: Maria Mironova and Jack Waller

Narrators:

Bionic Narrator (Magnus), Bossy/Demon Narrator (Bernael), Narrator.exe, Beta Narrator (Norbert), Caelumirian Narrator (Augustin), Snapey Narrator, Gem Narrator (Brown Diamond?), Narrator Royce, MONIKA

Curators:

The Observer, Beta Curator (Norene), Angel Curator (Barrattiel), Human Curator (Beatrice), Curator.exe, Curator GLaDOS

Stanleys:

Stanley Freeman, Stanley von Sales, Thomas Stanley Porter, Severine Stanley, Stella Fiedler, Pastel Stanley, Stanley.exe, Gem Stanley (Gray Pearl) Not Stanleys:

Protagonist Chell, Ashley Davies (The Player)

Mariellas:

Classic Mariella, Dream Mariella (aka Doll aka Princess aka Melissa Noxire), Pastel Mariella, Not Mariella (Simona Petrikov), Mariella.exe, Gem Mariella (Peanut Pearl)

Employee 432 aka Settings Person aka Timekeeper aka Ceaseless Watcher:

Eric Nowak

Adventure Line (humanized-ish):

Ghost Adventure Line (Flavian), Gem Adventure Line (Yellow Spinel)

The Employee Lounge (humanized):

Lacey Fidelis, Lesley Fidelis

Ricks:

Narrator Rick, Dandere Rick, Detective Rick, Ava Rickinsocks, Bossy Rick, Hacker Rick

Mortys:

Protagonist Morty, Yandere Morticia, Nerdy Morticia, Captain Morty, Cursed Morty, Shadow Morty, Wizard Morty

OTHERS: Homestuck linked: Kostya Trollen, Nick Surname Presentable Liberty linked: Paul Viaton, Lenore (Eleanor) Farrell, Benjamin Smiley, Charlotte Addams, Barret Videll, Salvadore Marchetti, Morayne Johnson DST linked: Triumphant Wilson and a Willow (iguess?)

Wannabe big guys aka friends from the other side aka yet another aliens (divinedamnedgambles):

Endymion, Nelumbo, Nebula (aka Red and Blue), Mother Nature, Goodness (Agnes), Darkness (The Temptress), Inquisitiveness (aka Yellow aka Employee333), Lorelei, Oneiros, Helianthus (aka Deim's Grandpa), The Troubadour, Aurora

Men In White:

Elyon and Karael, Vega, Gadreel, Raziel, Seraphim