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kaysungshine · 4 months ago

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Redamancy ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

Part II out now!

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (with a hint of bestfriend!jisung?)

{ Genre } - NSFW, the trifecta (s/a/f), frenimies to friends to lovers? idk but we'll get there in the end

{ Synopsis } - Han Jisung is your new bestie & technical colleague, of course you befriended the rest of his members. Group nights became a tradition, & tonight involves liquor and drinking games for the first time. Truth or drink?

{ WC } - 6.7k

{ Warnings & tags } - 18+ MDNI, NSFW, smut, angst, fluff, drinking, breath play (choking), swearing, dry humping, use of 'babygirl', mention of wet dream, talk of edging, talk of domming, talk of choking, talk of exhibitionism, all of ot8 is suggestive af when they drink, reader and jisung are PLATONIC I promise they're just touchy, they're all giggly drunks so overuse of laughing chuckling and giggling, chan is kinda dumb in this he just... is in denial land but we'll find out more about that later, unrealistic work scenarios, unrealistic dorm setup? idk lol

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated with the actual skz, and is a fictional piece. I DO NOT own Stray Kids, this fic is just influenced by them!

{ A/N } - Okay I know I took forever to post & this intro is hella long & I'm sorry! Once again, I will say this is my first skz fic. I come from the world of AO3 & dramione. I am out of my comfort zone lol. First time posting stories on tumblr too! So if I missed anything please let me know <3 there will be a part 2, I've already started writing it! The plot is weak af, but gimme a few more stories and I'll find my groove. Promise! Unbeta'd, be gentle with me ♡

It was supposed to be a relatively chill Saturday night, so you were excited. You just got off work, and had arrived at Jisung's. He swung the door open smiling and pulled you inside, into an immediate hug. Everyone said their greetings, and then Jisung went immediately to whining.

"Finally, what kept you so late?"

You took your shoes, mask, sunglasses, and hat off, letting your curls fall down your back. Then you unzipped your sweatshirt, shrugging it off your shoulders and exposing your fitted white tee. You gave your jacket and bag to Ji so he could put them away. You always arrived in 'disguise', in baggy clothing so that no one suspected anything. Though you thought it was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how baggy the sweat pants or hoodie is, there's no hiding the curve of your ass.

You were a content editor at JYPE, and had become really good friends with Han Jisung. Friendships between idols and staff certainly aren't forbidden, in fact they're encouraged to an extent... as long as no lines are crossed. But it's pretty much an ignored rule. Anyways, you were a small 'behind-the-scenes' employee, not a manager or assistant or makeup artist. Not anyone directly involved with any idols. No one off the street knew who you were. Still, over the last almost year or so, you and him became besties. You frequently shared meals together at work, had sleepovers, you even went camping. You were basically glued to each other. It could easily be taken the wrong way by the media and fans. Hell, it gets taken the wrong way by co-workers, other idols, and even his group members. Although they've mostly accepted that's not the case. It's a given with the way you two act though.

Your relationship is definitely platonic, confirming pretty early on that neither of you felt anything more than friendly love for each other. But you both love teasing the other suggestively. You suppose that's partly why you two got so close so quickly. Your personalities are so similar, it's like you share the same singular brain cell sometimes.

"Editing, per usual." You finally reply with a sigh, "We had to cut A LOT out of nexz's new video. They're so high energy, they slip up a lot, especially with the swearing, but nothing we can't handle."

"Gotta love kids." Chan snorts while sipping a beer.

You smile awkwardly in response and look around the room. Everyone is here, all with their preferred beverages, and chatting away or scrolling.

Ji comes back with a drink for you, he knows you're partial to tequila and always keeps it on deck. Normally, you spend every weekend you can together, which sometimes is not as often as either of you would like. Sometimes you'd both head back to your place, and just have all nighters, binge watching anime and gorging yourselves on junk food. More recently, like tonight, you get invited over to hang with him and the rest of the boys.

It usually results in a few drinks and a movie, or talk about work. Sometimes you just play music and talk and vibe, or try to cook food together when you get the munchies... Which more than likely results in Minho taking over because he just can't help himself. However the nights play out, they're always fun, and you're gradually getting closer to the rest of the members too. Although no one can compare to the bond you have with your Jiji.

"I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, my eyes hurt too much." He starts complaining.

"Poor baby." You tease and run your fingers through his hair, laughing.

"When are you two just going to come out with the fact that you're in love?" Seungmin asks.

You roll your eyes, "When dwaekki's fly."

"I can easily make that happen." Changbin laughs.

"We could play a game?" Felix suggests, already looking flushed from the alcohol.

Jeongin gets excited, "Let's do a drinking game! It's been a while."

"I don't believe I've ever played a drinking game with y'all."

Hyunjin hums, "Mm, you haven't. Mostly because we get crazy, we've never brought up the idea."

This piqued your interest, "More crazy than I've already seen? I don't think that's possible."

Minho chimes in this time, "You forget we're a group of men sometimes, I swear. Mix alcohol and suggestive games, it definitely gets 'crazier' than you've seen, inappropriately crazy."

You level him with a smirk, "I'm down."

"That's my y/n!" Ji says, while pulling you to sit in his lap, "Fearless."

You giggle and lean into him while Minho just narrows his eyes at you and purses his lips. Something tells you he's up to something, but you're ready for any challenge.

"Fine. Then we'll play something easy, truth or drink. If someone refuses to answer, they drink. Whoever finishes their drink first loses." Minho says.

"What does the loser have to do?" You ask.

"Pay for everyone's lunch every day for a month!" Changbin says.

"Deal." You say.

You're an open book, Ji knows this. There's no question you won't answer.

Everyone is up now, getting new drinks & refills before the game starts. You can't help but notice that Chan didn't get up, he looks a little nervous for some reason. He was always the most worried about you being around so much. In the beginning it definitely came across like he didn't like you. Now you know that's not the case... you think. He tolerates you now to say the least. You couldn't blame him too much, he was just protective of his boys. You actually found it incredibly sweet, or maybe it's just that stupid soft spot you have for him.

He always tried to keep you at arms length from the group. Not wanting anyone to get too close to you. Until Jisung put him in his place, as best he could anyways.

You were in Ji's lap, watching Spirited Away. He was drawing imaginary lines and shapes on your back, while you rested your head on his shoulder, facing the tv. His head was resting on top of yours as well, and a blanket covered you both.

Chan walked in seeing this, and nearly had a stroke. He said we were being inappropriate. And specifically made it a point to tell you to be more professional as a member of the staff. Short version: know your fucking place, you're overstepping.

You scoffed at him, prepared to confront him about his growing disdain towards you. Let him know he's the one being inappropriate, downright childish. But Ji nudged you onto the couch and got to him first.

It was kind of cute watching him standing there, ears becoming red and getting in Chan's face. Cute in the way that it was like a maltese puppy trying to stand up to a doberman. Then he proceeded to yell at him about how he was way out of line. Saying he was being flat out disrespectful and that he was done with the ridiculous way he has been acting about you. The last thing he said was that he didn't know what got into him, and that he'd never seen this side of Chan before.

Chan was silent, looking intensely into Jisungs eyes. But he never backed down, so Chan poked his tongue to his cheek, then retreated to his room for the whole night. You had to scoop Ji off the floor right afterwards. He had let his knees buckle, and fell to the floor once Chan was gone. Citing that he wasn't sure he was going to live through the night to see the morning sun. Typical dramatic fashion for your best friend. But you soothed him, fluffing up his ego about 'defending your honor'. His words, not yours.

As that night went on though, the tiniest bit of worry coursed through you. Chan hadn't come back out. Not even when the other members came home, trying to knock on his door to greet him. Or when the food was ready to be served, you had even given knocking a try. Only after Hyunjin begged you to, because 'He already doesn't take care of himself. He needs to eat.' No, you didn't see him again that night until you had already walked out the front door. He slipped out behind you shortly after, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you.

You thought he was going to continue the argument for a moment, but no, he was apologizing. Not much more was said afterwards, but his apology was genuine and heartfelt, so you accepted it. You two ended up hugging it out, and thank goodness no one saw that, because it was incredibly cringeworthy. He had no more major issues after that. But he was still unexplainably awkward around you, but it's not like you were any better. You two simply didn't know how to interact with each other for longer than 30 seconds. And that was pushing it. You suspected that might not ever go away. He likes to keep his walls high and strong, and you're stubborn at times.

But of course, despite that stubbornness. You developed some sort of feelings towards him. Feelings you refused to acknowledge, well tried to refuse. You would push those feelings down deep within your heart, put them in a little box, and tape it shut trying to forget it's there. There was no need to pine over the man, he had stay to do that for him, and who knows who else in his life. Somehow that box always ended up ripped open again.

There was never a reason to act on these feelings. Not to mention, you think you'd be breaking SO MANY rules. Putting your job, his job, hell everyone's job at risk. Or worse, making a fool of yourself when he would downright reject you.

You keep watching him, now he's shaking his leg up and down, seeming agitated. Maybe he just doesn't want everyone getting into a vulnerable state of mind while playing? Maybe he's worried somebody will say or do something wrong? That someone will cross a line, as he loves to say?

Trying to ease his negative feelings, and extend yet another olive branch. You toss a throw pillow at him, hitting him in the chest and pulling him out of his thoughts.

He looks at you, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and you just chuckle nervously at him saying, "Don't worry, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"God how fuckin' corny was that?" Ji teases you, poking your side making you giggle more.

To your relief, Chan is laughing with you, and shaking his head, "I just want them to behave."

"Oh relax, we're all grown. We're all friends. So we'll get to know each other more intimately, big whoop." You shrug.

"Mmm..." He replied, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "Whatever is spoken about tonight, doesn't leave this room."

"I swear you're the one with anxiety sometimes, not me." Ji mumbles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... dad." Hyunjin says as he sits next to you and Ji.

"As if that announcement even had to be made, I swear, and you wonder why we call you old." Seungmin comments.

Once everyone is settled in with their drinks, Minho directs Chan to start the game.

"Jisung, when was the last time you cried?"

He laughed, "You're trying to embarrass me because you know it was this morning, but I am confident and secure in the fact that I am a sensitive man."

He said the last bit with his hand over his heart, and his eyes closed, effectively making everyone chuckle.

"My poor baby, why were you crying?" You question teasingly.

"Please don't bring it up, he'll start blubbering all over again. Stupid, sad, dog rescue videos." Seungmin mumbles.

"Minho!" Ji shouts, pointing at him dramatically, "This question is for you. If you had to kiss someone in this room on the cheek, who would it be?"

"Hyunjin." He said bluntly, making you and everyone else laugh while Hyune just rolled his eyes.

"Would you kiss me back?" He asked him, eyes full of hope and bottom lip jutted out and pouting, trying to act cute. And succeeding, honestly.

Hyunjin acted like he was pondering the question, but ultimately was the first to take a sip from his glass, "I decline to answer."

He looked to you next, a suggestive smirk on his face, making you the next victim, "Y/niiieee..."

"Oi, be respectful." Chan scolds immediately, not liking the look at all.

"All I was going to do was repeat the question!" He said defensively, "Y/n, if you had to choose, who would you kiss on the cheek?"

You tried hard to keep your eyes from trailing over to Chan, a tingly feeling spreading across your skin at the mere thought of innocently kissing his cheek. Instead you chose the easy answer, because it wasn't a lie. You'd also kiss your best friend on the cheek any time.

"My Jiji of course," And you took his face in one hand, squeezing his cheeks between your middle finger and thumb, and plant a loud smooch on each of them, "he probably only asked because he wanted one anyways."

He just chuckles, letting you baby him and Seungmin fake gags.

"Minnieee..." You pause trying to come up with a question, "when you dye your hair next, what color would you want?"

"Green, my entire head green."

"That would look interesting." You laugh.

You all go 'round in circles for a few rounds, completely forgetting about the rules of the game. Having now finished your glasses from casually sipping throughout the game, most of you have switched to occasional shots. You're starting to feel warm and tipsy. Of course the more you all drank, the more the questions started to get more... amorous. Which is exactly how you all assumed this game would go. No wonder Chan was so anxious.

However looking over to him now, he's definitely having a good time. Like every other person, he loosens up while drinking, but tonight he seems even more so.

"Y/n," Chan starts with a sly look making your skin buzz again. Among all of you, he is 100% the most inebriated right now, "when was your first kiss?"

"Yah! He tells us to be respectful, but look how he is after a few drinks!" Changbin yells laughing.

Chan loses it, "You're right Binnie, you don't have to answer or drink." He says in between fits of squeaky laughter.

You think you could listen to him laugh all day.

You shake your head and snort, "I've answered worse questions playing this game before. I was 13 when I had my first kiss."

Hyunjin nearly spits his drink out, because again, no one is drinking just as punishment anymore, "13?!"

"Well, yeah, it's a pretty normal age in America... I think..." you started to blush, "why, how old were you?" you ask Hyunjin.

He hesitates, but eventually he spoke, "I was 18."

The rest chime in saying they were also 18 or 19. With the exception of Felix who said he was 16.

Without even thinking you start to say, "Aaah, see I was 18 when I-" and you're abruptly stopped with Ji's hand slapping over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide, caught off guard, but understanding as you almost blurted out unnecessary information. Nothing that Ji hadn't known obviously, it's just that everyone else doesn't really know you on that level.

"Jagi, you only had to answer the one question, adding extra info, that's not how you play the gaaaaame." He says in a sing-song voice, "Hyunjin it's your turn to ask someone."

"No no no no! What was she going to say?" Chan chuckles.

When you looked at him, he winked at you, and you had to stop yourself from going limp in Ji's arms. He knew damn well what you were going to say. Why is he teasing, no torturing you like this?

You peel Ji's hand off your mouth to respond "It's not your turn, you'll have to wait to ask me that."

The group starts laughing and shouting, teasing Chan who is ignoring it all, just staring at you with curious eyes and his tongue in his cheek. Does he know how hot he looks doing that?

"Okay, so then I'll ask you. What were you going to say?" Hyunjin asks calmly, trying to fight the smile off his face.

You pour yet another shot, and knock it back thinking, what the hell, "I was going to say I was 18 when I first hooked up with a man."

Some members looked surprised, the game taking an obvious turn. However Hyunjin, Felix, and Chan started laughing again.

"I knew that's what you were going to say." Felix slurred.

"Yeah I was definitely teasing you on that, because I knew." Chan followed.

"Mmm, well judging from the shocked faces of everyone else, you two seem to be the only psychics." You try to joke, wanting the attention off of you suddenly.

"No, don't get us wrong, not all of us are as innocent as you think." Seungmin says defensively.

"Oh really now?" You respond, one brow quirking up.

Seungmin just turned red, and sat back in his seat. To which Chan started laughing, yet again. He's a giggly drunk, and you love it.

"Don't tease my puppy, babe." Ji slurred, trying to reach his arm to console Seungmin, but ultimately failing.

"I mean I was 18 too, with the same girl I first kissed." Hyunjin shrugged.

"But what do you mean 'to a man'?" Jeongin asked with a shit eating grin on his face.

You promptly turned into a tomato, and started choking on air.

"You're not that slow pabo, obviously it means she's been with women too." Ji says, rather loudly and speaking freely, all while patting your back.

You're quiet. It's not like it's a secret, you've never hidden your sexuality. But it never came up in conversation with anyone here, except Jisung.

Wanting to ease the tone, Felix speaks up, "Well I was 18 when I first hooked up with a dude."

"I was 21, but everyone already knows that story." Ji slurred.

The whole conversation triggers another group laughing fit. Except for Chan, who is looking at you with those dark eyes again. And... is he blushing? Or is that the alcohol? He eventually snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and slowly smiles at you reassuringly.

You mentally kick yourself for getting your hopes up, of course he couldn't ever think of you like that. You're imagining things.

"But then, how old were you when you first hooked up with a girl?" Jeongin asked again, genuinely curious.

"A lot younger than 18..." You trailed off laughing, "I'll just say in high school."

"The air is different outside of Korea." Changbin says suddenly, sounding thoughtful.

Hyunjin nearly collapsed laughing, slapping Minho on the knee repeatedly, despite the glare he was shooting him.

"Well I just answered a bunch of questions in a row so that means I get to ask two people a question. And the second person I ask gets the next turn." You say, making up new rules.

"So... Chan." He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and you just smirk, knowing you're trying to get back at him, "How old were YOU when you lost your virginity?"

He gulps and looks around at the group before answering, "I... was 18."

"Chan-hyung, you never answered us when we would ask you! Why answer her?" Jisung whines.

"I honestly don't know, maybe it's the liquor. None of you ever asked me drunk." He starts giggling.

"Okay so question 2... Binnie!" He gulps and looks at you with wide eyes, "Are you more of a boob guy?" You say grabbing your own, not even really thinking about it, "Or an ass guy?"

Changbin started laughing and answered, "Definitely ass, but I appreciate boobs too, equality."

"I am just learning so much about my fellow members lately." Seungmin whispers.

"Is that a bad thing?" You giggle.

"Not at all, it feels strangely comforting, letting loose like this." He replies and smiles softly at me, "It's been a while."

"It's freeing!" Jeongin yells abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Aye, my question is for you then Min. Have you ever had a wet dream?" Changbin asks.

"... what guy hasn't? Don't all guys get them?" He asks looking around.

Then you chime in again frankly, "Girls can get them too you know."

Why does it feel like you've opened pandora's box on your sex life, in every single aspect?

Ji starts laughing, nodding his head vigorously and you know where this is about to go.

"Really now?" Felix says, mimicking your exact tone from earlier, "What was it about?"

"Mmmm... it's not your turn to ask," Then you turn to Seungmin, "And if you ask me, I will absolutely drink and not answer. No way I'm explaining a sex dream right now."

Seungmin just rolls his eyes and huffs out a laugh.

"But I wanna knooooooow," Jisung whines, "You looked so cute having one last weekend, you never told me what it was about."

Everyone was watching you two closely now, waiting to hear how he knew what you looked like in that situation.

You turned around and smacked his arm, "We weren't going to mention that ever again! Remember?!" You attempt to be angry, but you can't help it and end up smiling.

"Okay, well now I'm curious since you two are bringing this up." Minho says with a glint in his eye.

"Y/n may or may not have had one when I slept over, and I woke up to her moaning and hump--"

This time it was your turn to slap a hand over his mouth, "Jiji, Sungie, my love, my sweet sweet SWEET best friend. I don't want to kill you, but I will." You say in a dulcet tone.

He raised his hands, eyes wide and nodded his head. You couldn't help but laugh, apparently you're a giggly drunk too.

Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Chan adjusting himself in his pants. But then you reminded yourself that it was just wishful thinking and an alcohol induced hallucination. Horny hallucination. God you needed to get over him and under someone else. This unrequited shit wasn't for you.

"I'm so never going to drop this you know, I wanna know what the hell happened." Minho smirked at you, to which you flipped him off jokingly.

It's Seungmin's turn next, and he's just staring at Jeongin with a blank face, "Have you ever had a one night stand?"

He pauses for a moment and then finally answers, "No, I haven't."

He looked at you now, asking his question, "You know what I have to ask now, right?"

"Go ahead." You challenge, fully prepared to choke down another shot and not answer his question, and he smiles.

"What's one of your kinks?"

You were unprepared for that question. And how could you know he would ask that, these men like to fuck around with your head.

"Relax, I just wanted to see your reaction." He says before chuckling.

You glared at him for a moment, halfheartedly. They think they can just retract questions when they get scared that they went too far. Screw that, you're answering.

"I guess the most simple one I have is edging." You shrug.

"The most simple one?!" Hyunjin asked.

"What are you a masochist? Edging is the worst, feels like torture to me." Ji says.

"But the build up is so delicious, and the end result is so worth it. It's so intense." Felix chimes in, "Choking too, that can be intense."

"Hm, breath play might actually be my favorite." You admit.

"Damn y/n." Ji says, eyeing you with a smile, "You're full of surprises, even to this day."

You shrug again, "Everyone has different kinks... What's one of yours?" You ask him.

He ponders for a moment, "I like being dommed sometimes."

"Big surprise." Minho says and you all laugh.

"Good one though," You nod, "That's one of mine too."

"I think I'm an exhibitionist, to an extent of course." Hyunjin says next.

"That's also not a surprise." Minho replies.

You can't help but let your eyes wander over to Chan again, while everyone else is sharing different things they're into in bed. The liquor has everyone speaking loosely. But Chan doesn't seem to care about it anymore.

You find him staring right back at you, that same look in his eyes from earlier, and you feel heat spread in your stomach, and wetness starts to pool in your panties. Maybe you weren't imagining things.

But you don't notice that Ji's observing both of you in his drunken haze. Not too faded to ignore you and Chan eye-fucking each other.

Your heart starts racing the longer you hold eye contact, and you start shifting uncomfortably on his lap, before looking away and deciding to get up.

"Alright... I need some bread to soak up this alcohol, and then I need to get home because it's already 2 in the morning." You say with a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I'm wasted right now," Jeongin says and stands, "Bed's a good idea. Goodnight everyone." And he leaves to his room.

Ji grabs your wrist, preventing you from moving, "You're not going anywhere. We're all drunk, you can't drive and no one can bring you back home."

"Fiiiiiiine," You say, "but I still want bread."

"You and your bread fixation whenever you drink." Minho mumbles, heading to the kitchen anyways to grab you some.

When he comes back he hands it to you and you start munching away happily, doing a little dance.

Meanwhile, Felix is trying to tug Chan's arms to make him stand up, but he's fighting him on it and whining. Clearly he exceeded his limit tonight drinking. He probably won't even remember the looks he was giving you, you think.

"I don't wanna go to bed." Chan whines.

Felix finally succeeds in pulling him up, "C'mon mate, you definitely need to sleep this off. You'll be miserable tomorrow. Let's get you some water too, hmm?"

Chan reluctantly holds his arm, and follows him down the hall, stumbling over his own two feet along the way. You can't help but laugh at the sight.

More of the boys say goodnight and head off to their rooms, but Ji and Minho stay with you in the living room, chatting a little longer before bed.

Ji starts going through his bags, determined that you left some pajamas here from when you slept over previously, and he kept them in a bag to give back to you. He pulls out the nightie, that you honestly forgot you brought here. But you see why you didn't ever wear it at the time. It's dark green, spaghetti straps and has lace along the bust line. It also has slits on each side of your thigh, and only covers you to the middle of your thighs. Your go to sleepware was always nighties or large tees, they're comfortable and sometimes you get hot at night. Mix in the fact that you were drinking tonight? You're already feeling overheated. But wearing this?

"Jiiiiiii, don't you have any t-shirts I can wear?" You whine.

He's already under the covers, fighting sleep, "Sorry babe... haven't done laundry... Nothing clean..."

You whine again before taking it and heading across the hall into one of the bathrooms. It was this or sleep in your sweats, and that idea sounded entirely too suffocating to you.

You slip the nightie on and brush your teeth with your designated toothbrush you had there. Jisungs idea, after you had too much tequila one night and he diligently held your hair back as you got sick.

You sigh as you're leaving, and make your way towards Ji's room. Before you reach the door though, Chan walks out of his room. He's in a black tank top, and red boxer briefs... your eyes immediately trail down and go wide. His outline clear as day. But you change your view quickly, hopefully before he notices.

It doesn't help though, now all you're doing is eyeing his arms, the muscles cut throughout them. The veins that trail all the way down to his hands. God, his hands... What wouldn't you let those hands do to you...

He scratches the back of his head, and the movement snaps you out of your gaze. You find him staring back at you for a second before answering, "Sorry, I'll just..."

You start to shake your head, "No, no. No reason to apologize." You chuckle and start shifting on your feet. You feel the skirt of your nightie swaying with you. It opened the slit wider, and Chan immediately looked down at your exposed thigh. He inhaled quietly, sucking in air through his nose.

Any other day, you'd be scrambling to cover yourself. Feeling insecure and too bare. You don't know if it was the liquor in you, but tonight? Being on display? It turned you on.

You clenched your thighs together, almost involuntarily, and Chan didn't miss that.

Time seemed to be moving too slow. He stepped towards you, nearly closing the gap between you. He's only inches away, and looking down on you. His eyes have that dark, smoldery look again. He raised his hand and brushed the curls off your face and behind your ear. When he rests his palm against your cheek, your eyes flutter shut and you lean into his touch. It's so warm, and comforting. As if it was always meant for you.

When you open your eyes, you can clearly see the lust in his is only growing. He's not holding it back anymore, biting his lip as he stares at you. You almost whimper in anticipation.

"This is your opportunity to walk away if you're not okay with me kissing you." He says lowly.

You closed your eyes, and his lips met yours. The first few seconds were sweet and soft. Almost too innocent for the heat of the moment, but then he deepened it. He was pulling you by the waist into him, running his hands down and resting them on your ass. You could easily feel how hard he was for you, even through the thin fabrics. This time you let the whimper out, and he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. When you tried to do the same, he didn't give you the chance. Instead he slipped his tongue in. It was like he was lost in desire, and greedy for more. You couldn't help it when your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

He groaned and started backing you into the wall, his lips never leaving yours. He grabbed your thighs in each hand, and hoisted you up, slotting himself between them. Your legs naturally wrapped around him, and he started rocking his length against you. His pace was achingly slow, but still delicious.

You moaned and slipped a hand up to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of hair. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back with his eyes closed. He half hisses, half groans, and you can't help but rock your hips against him harder, hoping to hear more. He grips your thigh tighter, and leans down to press a quick kiss to your neck, before licking and sucking on it. He's meeting each roll of your hips with rough thrusts. And even clothed, you feel how perfectly he's rubbing your clit.

Your head is so clouded with need. Need to be touched. Need to touch him. Need to feel him inside of you. You don't even think twice when he glides his hand up your stomach, and over your breasts. He gives one a light squeeze before moving up to wrap his fingers around your neck, and your brain loses all sense for a moment.

He's just resting his hand there, but you wish he'd do more. You're not sure if this man knows just how pliant you are for him right now.

Then he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, "Can I touch you?"

His warm breath gives you chills, and you nod your head as best as you can. But that doesn't suffice him, he stops his movements against you and his grip around your throat tightens. You think you could probably get off on it if he tightens his fingers just a bit more, but he doesn't, instead he says, "I'm going to need words, babygirl."

Your hips buck into him, and you breathe out a quiet "Yes. Please..."

With that, he yanks your face closer to his by your neck. He's squeezing ever so slightly tighter around your throat. He bites your lip and you groan. But he's quick to silence you with his tongue.

Letting go, he trailed his hand back down your body and to your core. Slowly he started to rub you through the thin lace. You were so sensitive, that when he found your clit and pressed a circle into it. You couldn't help but breathe out his name. He pushed your panties to the side, and when he felt you for the first time you felt him smile against your lips.

"Babygirl... fuck, you're so wet for me."

And as he whispered that, he slipped a finger in you. He set a steady pace, dragging against your walls with a curl. Each pump hitting your sweet spot, and the heel of his hand creating delightful friction against your swollen bud. His breathing was heavy in your ear, breaking through all your helpless whimpering. When he added a second finger, you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Chan..." You moaned louder this time, while simultaneously letting your head drop against the wall with a thud.

He pulled his lips off of you, eyes wide when he met yours. He started blinking as if he was coming back to reality. When he looked into your eyes again, he looked startled.

"What's wrong?" You pant, feeling hot and dizzy, wishing he would keep moving his hands.

Instead, he quickly slips his fingers out of you, and sets your feet on the floor. Then he backs away.

"I'm sorry, y/n... I don't know what came over me, that was incredibly inappropriate and out of character." Chan mumbled.

Your heart sinks, as you feel the sting of rejection. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, and you immediately felt the oncoming headache from holding them back. You shouldn't feel so emotional and upset. This was all spur of the moment. But you do, you feel devastated.

Regardless, you clear your throat, "I understand." You force an unsettling chuckle out, when a sob threatens to escape instead.

He puts on a blank face that feels so cold, and responds with "Don't forget to drink some water, stay hydrated... I'll be heading to bed now, you should too."

All you really want to say is don't leave, because you want to finish what was started. Because you've wanted this for so long. Because the box you kept away in the depths of your heart had ripped open once again. And all the languished emotions were here, front and center, aching to bear it all to him. To let him see. Confess. But that would be selfish, he's clearly uncomfortable with it all. He probably regrets it. An alcohol induced affair. In his eyes, a complete mistake.

So instead you say, "Okay."

Because that's all you can muster before the tears start to fall. You turn away, going back to facing Ji's door.

"Goodnight y/n... Sleep well." He says, and puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.

You shrug it off, and escape to Ji's bedroom. To your surprise he's sitting up in bed, and ushering you come to him with his arms open and bottom lip pouted out.

You run to him, a bit dramatically and fall a part in his arms. But you can't help it, you sealed these emotions away for too long. You were too hurt at the moment to even try pushing them back down.

Jisung is your life saver, he's comforting you, rubbing his fingers on your scalp and rocking you back and forth to try and calm you. He gives you time before you have to explain why exactly you're having a melt down.

"Chan's an idiot." He finally says.

And you lean back to look at him, confused on how quickly he's put two and two together.

"Well you weren't exactly quiet. Between your exaggerated moans and his animalistic grunting right outside my door, of course I heard it." He rolled his eyes jokingly and that earned a laugh from you.

You smacked him lightly, "I was lost in the moment... don't judge me."

"Jagi..." He says, and wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, "You've liked him for so much longer than a moment."

Your heart starts pounding faster again. How could he know that. It's the one thing you've kept from him, from everyone, hell you even denied it to yourself for as long as possible. Was it that obvious? Who else knows? You go to speak, fear written across your face.

"No. You were not obvious, in fact you're an amazing actor. I'm sure none of the other members noticed, and definitely no one else at work knew." He answers before you can even get words out.

You nod slowly, "So then, how'd you know?"

He smiled proudly, "I'm a people watcher, I see all."

You smack him again, a little harder this time.

"Alright, alright, but I really did see all the looks you'd give him when no one else was watching... I know what longing looks like, and..." he trailed off.

You knew that wasn't all, "And?"

"Aaaaand... maybe that night you had that wet dream. You were moaning his name while humping the pillow..."

"You never told me that!" You shoved your head into your hands, distraught.

"Well I didn't want to embarrass you! I honestly didn't think you looked at any of us that way until then. Like I said, a good actor. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to."

You sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass."

"You're grown, you don't have to apologize to anyone for liking someone. But y/n," He cupped your cheek forcing you to look at him again, "this isn't just a simple crush, is it?"

With that question, you felt the tears spilling all over again. He pulled you to lay down with him, holding you tight against him and letting you cry it all out. Somewhere between his low humming, and your quiet weeping, you fell asleep.

When you blink the sleep away from your eyes the next morning, you're still entangled with Ji. He's literally wrapped around you like a koala.

You snort out a laugh and go to check the time on your phone. 7:30 am, entirely too early. You decide to try and fall back asleep, but last night's events rush back to you. Dread fills your chest, and your fight or flight kicks in. You're trying to gently escape Ji's hold, and not hyperventilate. The latter is more difficult but, since that man can sleep through anything, you were able to succeed.

You get changed back into your clothes, and leave a note for him saying that you're leaving and you'll text him when you get home. You can't bear to face Chan, let alone anyone else who might've heard you two last night. So you decide to skip out on the usual coffee and breakfast routine. You all have that tradition after a drunken night, but you know Ji will cover for you with everyone anyways.

You're rushing down the hall, wanting to grab your things and head for the door. Panic is starting to bubble over, and you're haphazardly covering yourself up to be unnoticeable. As you're slipping the mask over your face, a voice stops you.

"Morning... don't you want to stay for breakfast?"

You can't bring yourself to look at Chan, those words only setting the box of emotions in your heart on fire. You know he only means it in the way that it is an unbroken tradition. No matter how sick one of you gets, group breakfast is a must for recuperation. No one has skipped it in the months you've been doing it. We all take care of each other. But the idea makes your mouth bitter, because you wish it was just you two. Alone. Making breakfast the morning after earth shattering sex. And the fact he doesn't mean it in that way in the slightest makes tears prick back into your eyes.

Yes, you know you're being petty. You should stick it through for your friends. Take a page from Chan and act like nothing ever happened. You just can't find it inside you to care, you need to go home and lick your wounds before facing anyone here again. Call it childish, but you didn't care.

You're struggling to find words and just blurt out, "No thanks." And rush out the door, heading to the safety of your car.

You left Chan standing there. Unbeknownst to you, hurting just as much.

Special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who encouraged me through finishing this! I had finished it, and then accidentally deleted the entire ending. But in turn, that was a good thing I think... because now there'll be a part 2! If you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know and I'll start one! Feedback is always cherished, but be gentle pleeeeeeeease ♡

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myfictionalboyfriendsandme · 6 months ago

Text

Tell Me I'm Not Dreaming

Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x female!reader, Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini x Luna Lovegood

Prompt(s): "Shut up, I'm trying to confess my love to you."

Word Count: around 4,100

Warning(s): very AU, sad reader, swearing, DRAMIONE FOREVER, Sirius and Remus are alive FIGHT ME, mentions blood but nothing graphic, changing certain rules about Hogwarts to fit the story (prefect rules specifically), no house for the reader is mentioned but I suppose it's implied that she's gryffindor??

Rating: T (one f bomb)

Author's Note(s): This is so self indulgent, lol. I love fictional Theo. I don't know if y'all picture someone specific in your head but I always envision Cody Christian as Theo. Enjoy!

-----------------

"(Y/N), are you okay?"

It was always the same question.

(Y/N), are you okay?

(Y/N), do you need anything?

(Y/N), can we do anything for you?

And she always gave the same answer.

"No, I'm fine."

But she wasn't fine, and she hadn't been fine for quite some time.

She sat alone in her bedroom at 12 Grimmauld Place. The rain pattering down against the window like tears against the glass. The fireplace was lit, emmitting a soft glow about the room. A shabby knitted blanket was wrapped around her shoulders, keeping in what little warmth she felt. There was a cup of tea sitting on the side table that she hadn't touched since Mrs. Weasley put it there, the heat long gone.

She was surrounded by people. The entire Order of the Phoenix would spend their days coming and going. The permanent residents of 12 Grimmauld Place, like the Weasley family and of couse Sirius and Remus, wandered the house daily awaiting news of anything.

And she still felt so lonely.

No one in the house really understood why she felt the way she did. No one except Hermione. Hermione was in the same situation as her, she just hid her feelings better. No one knew that Hermione would sneak into (Y/N)'s room at night and the two girls would cry themselves to sleep, hugging each other in comfort. (Y/N) was the only one around who knew how Hermione was really feeling.

Distraught.

Sad.

Frightened.

On the verge of losing the only shred of sanity they had left.

There was a sharp knock on (Y/N)'s door before she heard it open, knocking her from her melancholy trance.

"(Y/N)."

She turned to look at Hermione standing in the doorway.

"Sirius just sent a patronus." She said, her voice laced with urgency. "He's on his way here and he has three defectors with him."

(Y/N) immediately stood up, the blanket around her shoulders abandoned in the chair, her eyes wide. "Hermione..."

The other girl nodded. "I know."

Bounding towards the door, (Y/N) wiped her eyes. "Could it be them?"

"I don't know."

"Did Sirius say anything else?"

"No."

"Absolutely nothing?"

"Just that he's on his way here."

She felt like she'd been struck by lightning.

"(Y/N), we have to be emotionally prepared if it's not them." Hermione whispered.

"Fuck that, Hermione."

"(Y/N)..."

"No. I can't take this anymore. I really can't."

Before Hermione could say anything else, there was a commotion from downstairs. The two girls whipped their heads toward the staircase. Muffled screams were coming from the main level of the house.

(Y/N) looked at Hermione before the two of them exited the room, moving to look over the third floor banister. They saw Harry and Ron rushing down the stairs, Ginny and Luna close behind.

"Let's go." (Y/N) said, already making her way to the top of the stairs.

She hurried down the steps as fast as she could without hurting herself, Hermione on her heels.

Please, please, please let him be here. Please let him be okay.

Once they reached the landing between the first flight of stairs and the second, (Y/N) scanned the main floor. Harry and Ron stood at the bottom of the stairs, their attention turned towards whatever was happening in the dining room. Her eyes moved towards the doorway and she froze. Standing there was Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood wrapped in his arms.

Her heart stopped.

"Blaise?" She asked.

His eyes moved towards her.

Another body moved through the doorway revealing a head of platinum blonde hair.

Hermione gasped. "Draco?"

His head snapped to where they stood on the landing. "Hermione!"

Hermione moved past (Y/N) and rushed down the rest of the stairs before throwing herself into the boy's arms.

(Y/N) stopped breathing.

Three of them. There's supposed to be three of them. Where is he?

She carefully made her way down the rest of the stairs, moving by a very disgruntled Ron Weasley and a rather perplexed Harry Potter. "Where is he?" She couldn't help but notice that Blaise and Draco were both covered in blood. Her voice cracked as she felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Blaise, please."

He looked at her, his brown eyes tired and full of sympathy. Another scream echoed through the house. Without a word, he looked towards the dining room.

That's when her heart cracked in two.

Members of the Order were scattered around the room. Ginny was running back and forth between the dining room table and the parlour carrying bandages and vials of what looked like healing salves. Remus and Sirius stood with their backs to the main doorway, going through the vials and picking out what would be the most helpful before setting them on the table in a separate pile. Molly was scurrying this way and that around the table, her attention set on something different every few seconds. But on the table was a boy, bloody and writhing in pain.

Theo.

She fell to her knees, her face in her hands. "No..." The tears that had been pooling in her eyes finally fell. A pair of arms wrap around her. "He can't die. He can't die. He can't die."

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N). Come on, you don't need to see this." Hermione held her up, supporting almost all of her weight so she wouldn't fall back to the ground. "Mrs. Weasley knows what she's doing."

(Y/N)'s eyes darted back to Theo. "I can't leave him."

"Let's just go to the kitchen and let them work. We won't be far."

As Theo let out another agonizing cry, (Y/N) let Hermione lead her away. She looked back towards the dining room entryway but it was blocked by Blaise, Luna, and Draco who were following them down the hallway. The three looked back at her with sympathetic eyes.

The next thing (Y/N) knew, the group had entered the kitchen. Hermione had pulled out a chair for her to sit in before taking the seat directly to her right. Draco followed suit and sat next to Hermione while Blaise and Luna sat across from them. Once they were situated, Blaise grabbed Luna's hand and held it in his lap.

"We didn't know you and Blaise were seeing each other, Luna." Hermione observed.

Luna laid her head against his shoulder, smiling softly despite the sadness of her friend. Blaise glanced down at her before answering. "We're both rather private, Granger. We didn't really want to advertise our relationship to all of Hogwarts, especially considering the state of the wizarding world."

Hermione nodded. She looked at Draco. "I understand that. I think we all do."

There was a moment of silence as everyone at the table took in their current situation. (Y/N), finally snapping back to reality, looked at Blaise again. There were blood stains covering the front of his shirt and a rip in the sleeve of his jacket. Draco also looked disheveled, his usuaully styled hair unkempt and scruffy. Both boys had dark circles under their eyes.

"What happened?"

Blaise made eye contact with (Y/N). More screams sounded from upstairs. "(Y/N), I don't think-"

"I want to know." She interrupted.

He sighed. "Okay." He looked at Hermione then back to (Y/N). "We've been planning to defect for months. I think we all came to the same conclusion around the same time. The night Dumbledore died."

Out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) could see Draco squeeze Hermione's hand.

"We wanted to stay that night, but it was impossible. They would have killed us right then and there. We had no choice but to leave." Blaise paused and looked at Draco. "We practically had to drag Theo." He cleared his throat. "Earlier today, we were summoned to go on a mission. Someone had gotten word to the Dark Lord about Order members being in Diagon Alley. We were told we would have the upper hand so an ambush would be easy. That's when Draco sent his patronus to Sirius."

"Draco, that could've been dangerous! What if someone had seen you?" Hermione scolded.

The blonde rolled his eyes. "No one knows I can even form a patronus, Hermione. It was the only way to get word to the Order as fast as possible."

"Yes, now we all know that Draco's patronus is an otter. Adorable, mate." Blaise quipped.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Oh, piss off."

"Anyway," Blaise continued, "when we showed up, it was already a shit show. The fighting had already begun, so they sent us in as reinforcements. Luckily for us, it looked like the Order was winning. That was the only way our plan was going to work."

"I saw Sirius right away." Draco added. "There was no one else around right then so I helped him disarm Yaxley, then before anything else could happen I cast my patronus again. Poor bloke looked like he'd seen a ghost."

"That's when Theo asked him for help." Blaise leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "Sirius rushed us into a side alley and asked if we were being honest. It didn't really take much convincing though. We all looked rather... anxious. Then he told us to apparate to the Burrow. Said he'd meet us there after the fighting had stopped."

There was another pause as Blaise hesitated.

Draco continued. "The four of us were about to apparate, but-"

"The four of you?" Hermione asked.

He nodded then bowed his head. "Pansy was with us, too."

(Y/N) watched Hermione put her hand on Draco's back in comfort.

"Before any of us could leave, we were cornered in the alleyway." Blaise spoke up. "Sirius stepped in front of us and blocked a curse, which obviously tipped off the one's shooting at us that we were no longer on the same side. It was Dolohov and Theo's dad. They just started shooting anything they could at us, yelling about blood traitors and the like. Well, that caught the attention of Bellatrix."

(Y/N) felt her blood run cold at the name.

"She rounded the corner and when she saw Draco, she went ballistic." Blaise explained. "She sent hexes at all of us but she took one last look at Draco before she sent the killing curse his way."

Draco shifted uncomfortably in his chair. (Y/N) saw a tear form in his eye. "Pansy saved me." He sniffled.

Hermione whipped her head at Draco in surprise as (Y/N) let out a light gasp.

Blaise took a deep breath before he continued speaking. "None of us could have seen it coming. She just... stepped in front of him. Then she was gone. We didn't have time to do anything about it. I saw Lupin and a Weasley come up behind Dolohov and then Sirius yelled for us to go, so we apparated."

"So what happened to Theo?" (Y/N) asked, wiping her eyes.

"It was his father." Draco sneared. "Bastard sent a cutting curse at Theo before he could apparate."

Blaise sighed. "Sirius and Mr. Weasley showed up seconds after we did. They probably planned on more of an interrogation but then they saw Theo and brought us straight here."

There was a lull in conversation then. None of them had anything else to say. Hermione was rubbing circles into Draco's upper back. (Y/N) just stared at a spot on the wooden table, unable to meet eyes with anyone.

Another screamed echoed through the house.

Luna stood up. "I think I'll make some tea."

As the blonde moved about the kitchen, (Y/N) felt heartbroken. Heartbroken for Theo. Heartbroken for Pansy. Blaise. Draco. All of them.

They didn't deserve any of this.

-------

She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting at the kitchen table staring at the same spot of wood, but she noticed the tea in front of her was cold.

As usual.

"(Y/N)?"

Her head snapped to the doorway. Ginny stood there, observing everyone in the room before looking back at her. "Uh, mum says you can come up if you'd like."

She didn't have to be told twice.

Dashing up the stairs two by two, she didn't think she'd ever moved so fast in her life. She made it down the hallway and to the dining room entryway in record time, the rest of the group following behind her. (Y/N) looked into the room and saw that it wasn't as chaotic as the last time she'd been standing there. The dining room table had been transfigured into a bed. Mrs. Weasley stood near the foot of it, looking at Theo who had been laid against the pillows. His arms and his chest were wrapped in bandages, but he was breathing.

"(Y/N), dear." Mrs. Weasley whispered, beckoning her closer.

Inching her way into the room, (Y/N) looked to the motherly woman. She looked exhausted. "Is he...?" (Y/N) asked, trailing off.

"He's going to be fine." Mrs. Weasley answered. "He lost a lot of blood, but we gave him a blood replenishing potion. He probably won't wake up for a while yet, but I can assure you he will be okay."

(Y/N) released a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding.

"Do you need anything, dear? What can I do for you?"

(Y/N) was in awe. What would any of them have done without Molly Weasley?

Finally taking her eyes off Theo, (Y/N) turned to face her. "You've done more than enough, Mrs. Weasley." She made her way closer to the woman and threw her arms around her in an embrace. "I can't even begin to thank you for what you've done."

(Y/N) felt Mrs. Weasley's arms tighten around her just a smidge before pulling back and smiling at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "Is this boy the reason you haven't been drinking your tea?"

In that moment, she really couldn't help herself. (Y/N) gave a soft chuckle before turning her face towards Theo. "Is it that obvious?"

Mrs. Weasley continued smiling, her eyes softening just a touch. "Oh, (Y/N), the boys under this roof might be a bit dense, but I'm not." She moved to grab a blanket from a chair in the corner before making her way back. "I knew something had to be bothering you. I would've bet anything that it was a someone." She wrapped the blanket around (Y/N)'s shoulders. "Does he know how you feel?"

(Y/N) didn't know how to answer. Did Theo know how she felt? She thought he did, but come to think of it, she'd never out right said the words I love you to him.

In the grand scheme of things, (Y/N) and Theo hadn't actually been together for very long. She'd always had a crush on him, there was no doubt of that, but they hadn't really spoken to one another until their sixth year at school. If (Y/N) was really being honest with herself, she'd always been too nervous to even look in his direction, afraid she'd do something to embarrass herself. Then, one fateful day in potions class, Professor Slughorn introduced amortentia.

It was like she was there. The same fragrances she registered in potions suddenly wafted into her nose, overtaking the rest of her senses.

That day, down in the dungeons of Hogwarts, (Y/N) was overcome with a feeling so overwhelming she really didn't know what to do. She couldn't help but look at him.

Little did she know, the same thing was happening to Theo.

They locked eyes across the classroom and (Y/N) thought she might have died a little inside. He smiled at her and her body erupted into butterflies.

One would think after such an earth-shattering experience, a person could maybe gain the confidence to talk to another.

That was not the case.

(Y/N) and Theo didn't have any other interactions, big or small, until almost four months later.

Because Ron and Hermione weren't speaking to one another, there was some tension among their table in potions. (Y/N) and Harry, the two who were stuck in middle ground territory, were trying their best to make everyone get along. There weren't any positive results as of yet.

This led to their group being separated, because as Slughorn put it, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

She wasn't sure how it happened, or why, but she was then sat at a table with Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott. (Y/N) tried her best to avoid eye contact with the cute brunette, and was actually doing really well until she realized she had forgotten to grab an Ashwinder egg. She sighed, rather deeply, and made to move to the storage cupboard, but before she left her stool, a gloved hand entered her peripheral vision and set an egg down next to her cauldron. She quickly looked to her left and saw Theo looking right at her.

And that was only the beginning.

It was Theo's idea. They find a spot and meet in secret. They were both prefects, so it wasn't hard to do. Without raising too much suspicion, they would trade shifts with whoever was partnered with the other. They would walk the halls doing their prefect duties and then they would go to their special place.

The astronomy tower.

Not many people ventured to the astronomy tower. It was secluded and sort of cut off from the rest of the castle. It was the perfect place for two young people to meet without anyone else finding out. Until the night Dumbledore was killed.

Theo had been acting weird the couple days leading up to it. Everytime they were together (Y/N) noticed he seemed on edge, almost nervous to be around her. (Y/N) was beginning to think he had changed his mind. Maybe he didn't feel the same way she did. Maybe he wanted to move on from her. Maybe there was someone else.

"Are we meeting at the usual time tomorrow?" (Y/N) asked, looking up at him. They were sitting near the edge of the astronomy tower. The sky was clear and the stars were shining bright.

Theo didn't say anything right away. He was staring out at the grounds surrounding the castle as if in a trance.

"Theo," (Y/N) said, her voice trembling, "are you okay? You've been acting... different."

He seemed to gain some awareness back before he looked back at her. "No."

She was shocked. "What? Theo-" But she was interrupted.

"You can't be here tomorrow night."

In an instant, (Y/N) knew something was wrong. "Why?"

"Please, (Y/N)," Theo said, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly, "you can't come anywhere near the astronomy tower tomorrow night. Promise me."

(Y/N) didn't know what to think. After a few moments of silence, her eyes met his. "I promise."

Theo let go of her hand and moved his hand gently up to the side of her face before bringing his forehead to hers. "Whatever happens, we'll see each other again. I know we will."

Any doubt (Y/N) had been feeling about him immediately lifted. She could feel her eyes start to tear up. "Why does this feel like a goodbye?"

Theo pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Because it might be." Then he leaned in and kissed her.

That was the last time she had seen him. The next night, she was roaming the halls with other members of the D.A. when the death eaters had broken into the school and Dumbledore was killed.

(Y/N) was suddenly shifted back to reality.

"We never..." (Y/N) started before trailing off. "I never got the chance."

Mrs. Weasley smiled softly then patted (Y/N)'s arm lightly. "Well, it looks like you'll get the chance, dearie."

-------

(Y/N) couldn't remember falling asleep. After her conversation with Mrs. Weasley, the rest of the teenagers that were in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place made their way up the stairs into the dining room as well. Draco and Blaise wanted to check on their friend and both made sounds of relief upon seeing he was going to be okay before they were ushered up the stairs where the bedrooms were located.

Moving the comfiest chair she could find to Theo's bedside, (Y/N) kept the blanket Mrs. Weasley had given her and sat down. She tried to make herself as comfortable as possible before she grabbed Theo's hand. She must have fallen asleep looking at him because when she woke up, her face was sideways on the edge of the bed and his hand was still in hers. She propped her head up with her open hand and took a moment to look at the bindings across his arms and his chest, her eyes moving all the way up to his face.

It took her a second to realize Theo's eyes were open and looking at her.

"Theo?" She whispered. Her voice was hesitant, as if she thought it was a dream.

He smirked at her but it was full of adoration. Only Theodore Nott could make a smirk look adorable.

"I told you we'd see each other again."

(Y/N) didn't know what to do. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

Theo chuckled gently. "Would you like me to pinch you?"

She felt a flood of relief overtake her body and it was so powerful, she started to cry.

"Oh, darling, no." Theo tried to move but grimaced before deciding it was probably better to lay still. "Darling, please. Don't cry."

(Y/N) sniffled and brought the sleeve of her shirt up to her eyes to wipe the tears away. "I can't help it, Theo! I was so worried!" Theo attempted to interrupt but (Y/N) continued before he could get a single word in. "I've been worried for months! I didn't know if you were alive or dead, and then you show up here covered in blood!"

"(Y/N)-"

"And then Draco tells me you were hit by a cutting curse by your own father! You could have died by bleeding out if you hadn't gotten here sooner than you did. Then the last thing I would've said to you before you died would've been something stupid and not "I love you" like it should have been-"

"(Y/N)-"

"But I was too scared to say anything to you about it the last time we saw each other-"

"(Y/N)!"

"Shut up, Theo, I'm trying to confess my love to you!"

And then there was silence.

(Y/N) was sure her face looked as red as a tomato. Her skin felt like it was vibrating off of her body. She could feel the palpable silence between her and the boy in front of her.

She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry." She stood up and turned her back to him before making her way to the entrance of the dining room.

"You love me?"

She froze. It was so quiet (Y/N) wasn't sure he'd actually said it. Turning back to him, she saw he was still looking at her, a new emotion in his eyes.

She took a deep breath. "Theo..." She moved back to the chair at his bedside. "I always have."

Theo narrowed his eyes as if he couldn't actually believe it. "Really?"

(Y/N) nodded and swiped a piece of hair behind her ear, looking down at her hands in her lap.

There was a beat of silence before Theo spoke up again. "I love you, too."

She smiled. The words she had always longed to hear. It was like a symphony of angels. Her eyes reached his and they looked considerably brighter than they did before. They both chuckled lightly.

"Now you tell me I'm not dreaming." Theo whispered, a tone of astonishment in his words.

(Y/N) smirked. "Would you like me to pinch you?"

He opened his arms wide and beckened her over. Hesitantly, she moved closer to the edge of the bed before slowly moving into his embrace and relaxing into his chest. "Are you sure this is okay? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm just a bit sore this morning, love. I'll be fine." He pulled her even closer to his body. "Just let me hold you and I'll overlook the fact you told me to shut up."

(Y/N) laid her head against his shoulder and into the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry."

She felt Theo leave a soft kiss against her hair. "You're forgiven, my love."

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