#i’ve written a decent variety of stuff yanno

[padfootastic]

your first fic was a dramione fic?? 😭😭 (interesting 👀)

ahahaha is someone going down a stalking rabbit hole 💀 there’s a lot of content lol

but iirc, my first fic was a letter between remus and sirius 🤔 but that’s ffn material! i just checked and yep, on ao3 it’s dramione. i remember feeling soooo ~naughty bc it was kinda explicit but now i cringe even thinking about it lol

[carrera-ffxiv]

Morning Shadows Pt. 2

Her taunting farewell echoed in his mind as he set the table, waiting for Mira to arrive. It was his turn to cook. A few simple dishes as best he could muster. A variety of small side dishes littered about the center with some egg rolls. A rice and soup pairing would be the main course. The mood lighting on the top floor of his manor was spot on but the cooking really didn’t match the ambience. He wasn’t a culinary specialist but he knew how to make the stuff he liked and it was edible in the least.

Hadriel had pictured this moment dozens of times since his reinitiation to his former organization. A simple do or don’t. Does he tell her, or not? Until now he felt it better to keep it a secret. Now doubts lingered. If he was to move forward with her and keep her safe he couldn’t simply leave her uninvolved. He also knew that keeping secrets of this magnitude could only spell ruin.

A shake of a wet umbrella called out as S’mira ascended the staircase. Caught in a downpour on her way from the Ashen House -- typical! Rare were the days that the Lavender Beds didn’t see a bit of drizzle. The lacquered handle of the umbrella came to the railing and S’mira had begun removing her gloves, “What a surprise to find you home before me. Annnnd...having cooked?” she rose a brow, perhaps deep down she might have been a little insulted for being outdone with a meal though some might argue it could have been a pleasant welcome in comparison to S’mira’s own meals, “I never figured you for a cook.” and she rounded along the final bend of the railing.

“Less than busy day for you I assume? How’s the bar? V’shesre came by today for a bit of a visit, offering some sincere sorries for being as absent as she had been.”

He offered a smile in greeting and waved her statement off, “Had a reason I assume. Is she looking to come back to work? The bars have been fine. No issues as of late. Business grows steadily. How was work for you? Have a seat, relax, take a load off and have some food, I imagine you’re hungry.”

S’mira lifted a hand to adjust the crease at her yukata, “I’m not sure if she mentioned what she planned on doing indefinitely but I can imagine having an offer for a job once again upon a return isn’t something everyone can say they have privilege in having.” There was a mildly low chuckle and a raise of her eyebrows. Damn V’shesre’s ramen. “Famished!” she lied and took a seat to continue her gaze upwards to Hadriel, “Work is about the same as usual. I cannot say we’ve had much of an incline in our work load, not like we did when I first began but a consistent workload is a healthy one I think.”

“Mn?” he raised a brow, “Well… fair enough. I suppose part of that responsibility lies with me. I should do more to help around the company.”

Hadriel began to indulge in the dishes set before them yet he would pause to assess and note Mira’s pace. “Sorry, I should’ve asked you what you liked. I thought just making a hodgepodge assortment would do the job…” he offered apologetically. He casually reached through his hair, catching the strap along his eyepatch as he removed it and continued eating.

Of course S’mira had taken her time eating. She figured if she could slow her eating enough it would have given her time to digest the ramen from earlier -- it just wasn’t being digested fast enough to not look like a complete goon in front of Mr. Cool. Her crush? Her boyfriend? It wasn’t as if she really had a name or title for it, especially since they never really knew ‘what’ each other were in a sense, “Mhn? Oh.” and there was a pause as Mira took the napkin to her mouth and finished chewing before offering a response, “I’m not picky. Food in the belly is, well, food in the belly.”

His asymmetrically colored eyes settled on Mira. One a dark brown hue, the other a dazzling blue color. “I have something to tell you, and… I don’t know how you’ll take it. I didn’t want to tell you but… I think it’s better that I do than not.” he spoke in a solemn tone.

‘Perfect!’ she thought, more talking meant less eating. Not that it wasn’t good, but….

“Hm?” she hummed out again in his direction. She had never seen him fully remove the eyepatch until now, in all the months and time she had known him, S’mira had only caught a glimpse of that singular blue eye one time before. Suddenly, it felt as if the mood shifted into something a little more serious; possibly somber?

She lowered her hands to her lap and folded them there, “Well, I’m listening.”

He huffed a moment, “Sorry to ruin your meal but… I feel like I need to tell you. It’s not something easy to speak of but you at least deserve to know. Some time ago I was a part of an organization in Doma that fought against imperial rule. Those men and women were called the Black Blades of Doma.” he explained as he gauged her response.

From across the table S’mira was quiet though her eyebrow did hike ever so slightly. Curiosity written all over her face. She knew of him having worked alongside some sketchy folk before and it was barely a conversation even breached before now, “I have never heard of them.” in truth, she hadn’t. Most organizations she only knew of through Gado and his general dealings in and out of the cities. Then again she had never been to Doman territory until she met Hadriel, “Go on.” she offered and sniped a swallow from her glass.

“Well… if you had heard of us, we weren’t doing our jobs right. To be fair, it’s not really the name of the organization. We were nameless until that’s what people started calling us. Protectors. Defenders. Avengers. We saved lives by taking lives. Imperial lives, or any enemy of Doma.” he sighed a bit and scratched at his head, trying to figure out a way to word what he wanted to tell her.

He continued “Anyway, I left them when I came across the sea to Eorzea because we had a fundamental disagreement. Left every gil I had behind to help with reconstruction and took one of my subordinates with me to handle that disagreement. I’ve since righted that wrong. I met with some old friends afterwards and there was a decent amount of inner politics involved but it ended with an offer to retake my place. And I did.”

That brow lofted a bit higher as Hadriel spoke and S’mira gently prodded at her food. She wanted to look like she had been eating more even though listening seemed a bit more entertaining for the moment, “And now?” she asked. Surely there was more to it. The story didn’t seem too damning nor did she quite understand the necessity of why he would have to tell her.

“So where do you go from here with retaking that place then? Is it not something you wish to do or is this dinner a soft way of saying ‘I’m sorry, I have to leave’ sort of scenario?”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving. In fact I’m looking after their interests as we speak. One of those things is handling someone who might be overstepping their bounds. Someone else in the organization. Someone that was once close to me, a student of mine. That vial that Kohaku recovered contained illicit drugs. The person behind bringing those items here along with a sizable number of their subordinates is… that student. I should mention that person is now also one of the nine Shadows that lead the organization. I just... wanted you to know, just in case things spilled out once I went to handle this situation. I didn’t want you to think I was keeping things from you to deceive you maliciously. I’ve thought about this scenario in my head over and over again, and I couldn’t see a result that was going to be good. But… every scenario that played out in my head that involved me keeping this a secret from you was worse.”

Silence rested between them once more after Hadriel spoke and Mira hadn’t even touched her food again, not that she was trying to avoid it at this rate, it was natural by now. It looked as though everything flew right by her head, in one ear and out the other. Green eyes offering a series of delicate blinks and she finally moved, setting her napkin to the side of her plate and in dainty stride settled herself saddle style along Hadriel’s lap without invitation, “I appreciate you letting me know but if your little side jobs pollute the Wolves and the people within…” S’mira smiled sweetly and she adjusted that fancy tie resting along that crisp white shirt of his. Yanno, the ones he always wore? “-- You’ll have wished you did keep it a secret and I was none the wiser.”

A devilish grin escaped his calm facade. “I’ll keep that in mind.” A part of him wanted to fuck around and find out, but he retained a sense of normalcy. “I wouldn’t put you in a compromising position if I could help it Mira.” the ronin placed a hand at the small of her back, intentionally tracing his hand around her waist. “I’ll keep my business on my side of the house with specific people. I’ll prepare a list of personnel that do report to me for the organization and the… more questionable jobs. Rest assured… I’m always on your side, Mira, first and foremost.” The other gloved hand freely found its way to the top of Mira’s head as it brushed alongside one of her ears. He rubbed the side between a couple of his fingers, almost pinching as if to feel the texture. “Always wanted to do that.”

The ear within his touch gave a bit of a flick and a weird expression spread over her features, “Its as if though you’ve never touched a Miqo’te before.” there was a long sigh and she seemed to straighten up a bit more in her ‘seat’ of choice, “Okay, well from here on out you will have to keep me in the loop, for everyone’s safety and no hiding important stuff, okay?” 

The tip of her finger had been brought up and it poked him in the center of the forehead, “You are tampering with dangerous stuff and there are others to consider just by association. I’ve lived with Gado long enough to know how these things turn out. You do the quelling or you do the running. There is rarely any in between.”

His hand settled along her cheek. A thumb running along her face gingerly. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you. Hence the… talk. I didn’t want to risk ruining what we have.” he said in almost a whisper, considering their proximity.

“And what is it you would label, ‘what we have’ per se? I don’t think such has been established.”

He would simply answer her question with a gesture he was longing to give for a long while. Lips meeting and confirming what feelings stirred about in his heart.

What fingers had been along Hadriel’s tie had ceased and S’mira froze though barely a blink had passed until she finally melted into the gesture with heavy thoughts and spark-returned kiss. Did she hold her breath? How long did it even last?

Enough to where when she finally pulled away there was little room for words, light nearly nonexistent between them in the dimly lit living area of the large mansion. That had certainly answered her question, an answer in which she had not anticipated but far more explanatory than any slew of words or excuses Hadriel could have given her.

“I… hope that answers the question. Or… do I have to invite another Miqo’te from your tribe and fight them to the death? I’m not sure how all that works.” he joked, knowing she wasn’t beholden to her kin.

A series of blinks was given, cheeks pink and mouth agape at Hadriel’s comment, “N-no. I mean if you were planning to be a breeding male within the Seeker Tribe’s, sure, you would have to fight the Nuhn for that right but it is a good thing that I don’t live by those rules and weird lifestyle.”

“Good. I want you all to myself.” “Even if a Nuhn could, I wouldn’t be interested.”

He scoffed a moment, “Better not be.” A grin returned and he met her lips again, drinking in the elation of the moment. For a brief moment he forgot about all the stress to come.

“Was never one for a man with a tail.” the Seeker managed to snipe in beyond parted lips and her frame shifted, arms curling up along the Hyur’s neck. This had certainly beat filling herself sick on a second meal and she had a warm lap to boot.

[katherine-rambles]

so Clearly there is something about smut fer smut’s sake that i’m not all that into

because i’m reading all this fanfic and i just find myself hastily skimming over explicit chapters in otherwise mostly-tame works

it’s the exact same thing i did as a 12-yr-old when i ran outta books to read and begged mom to let me read some of the off-limits bookshelves bc What Else was a voracious reader supposed to do? and then the reason they were off-limits was bc they were romance novels with the more-than-occasional explicit scene

albeit, i suppose, back then i skimmed over them b/c i didn’t really Get It. now when i’m skimming over it in fanfics i’m like. ooooh. no, i’m not supposed to be privy to that. 

not that characters in and of themselves have claims to privacy, but;;; i still feel weird about it, yanno? and it doesn’t. specifically help. that a lot of fanfic is kinda. fetishistic. i mean, i s’pose it makes sense, it’s not exactly like fandom is known for being an exception to the norm on that front. and truth be told i’m not too interested in non-queer ships, and wlw ships are rarer, and that leaves the wide variety of ways that mlm are written in fic, which has historically been, uh. a grab bag, to say the very least. 

and since i’ve been reading mostly Ace Attorney fanfic, well. the prominent pairings are mostly Miles&Phoenix and Apollo&Klavier.

though i WILL say that i’m pretty happy that nearly every fic i’ve read that mentions Franziska Von Karma mentions her being w/ Adrian Andrews, which seems to be overall handled pretty well by the stuff i’ve read so far. ;u; if a bit side-mentiony. 

idk folks. this is just Me complaining to myself that a lot of decent stories seem to revolve around Horizontal Tangoes more than I prefer;;;; 

which is to say-- i don’t necessarily mind it, but i like the ‘fade to black’ approach for the most part. and if not that, there’s a way to approach it that’s more... reserved? less detailed? than a play-by-play. what i’m saying is, there’s a way to say “They Fucked Each Other’s Brains Out” without describing in detail every last movement of hands or mouths or loins. yeah?? ‘n, i dunno, the banter n’ shit that comes with the subtler way of doing it is more enjoyable to me.

augh, i dunno. i’m still pretty Personally Prudish abt all that.... shenanagins. eighteen years without a whiff of hormones will do that to ya, i guess.