#ryvswb!au

[ryvswb]

@proximio-5 Asked: "Oh! Oh! Are the Meta and the Freelancers nearby?"

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*RvB guitar jingle plays as the camera does an overview of Valhalla, until we see Wyoming and Maine crouched together next to a river*

Wyoming, fiddling with something in the back of Maine's head: Hrrrrm. Almost there....argh Maine stop squirming!

Maine, shifting uncomfortably: *growl*

Wyoming: Almost theeeeeere...aaaaannnnnnd...

Wyoming, standing back up, a small storage device in his hand: Done!

Maine, slowly standing up, his legs a bit wobbly: *long, low growl*

Wyoming, trying to help Maine steady himself, but the latter shoving his hand aside: Easy there lad. I know you want to be able to use all your programs, but even Ol Carolina had trouble handling the twins, be sure to tell me if anything feels off.

Maine, his legs now steadier, knodding in acknowledgement: *grunt*

Wyoming, showing Maine the storage device he's holding: So what do we do with this knobhead?

Sigma, his hologram emerging from the device: Where- where am I? Oh?

Maine, towering over Sigma intimidatingly: *long, angry growl*

Sigma: Oh. Agent Maine...you are alive as well...I...if you would just let me explai-

Maine, snatching Sigma out of Wyoming's hand and aggresively chucking him in the river:...

Wyoming, awkwardly watching Sigma float away as Maine dusts his hands off: Well...thats one way to solve that problem I suppose...

Wyoming: Now what shall we do nex-

Gamma, appearing next to Wyoming's head: Reggie, I am recieving an unknown transmission.

Wyoming: Play it trough.

Wyoming, talking to an unkown individual through his com device: Who are you? How did you get this frequency?

Maine, staring at Wyoming as chatter can be heard from the latter's helmet:...

Wyoming: Oh? A job? Interesting. How much?

Wyoming, as more chatter is heard from his helmet:...

Wyoming: Well now, thats a very generous offer.

Wyoming, as yet more chatter comes from his helmet: Hm hm. Huh uh. Alrighty then. Consider it done. Pleasure doing business.

Wyoming, turning to Maine after hanging up: Maine old chap, looks like we'll be able to give your programs a test run already.

Wyoming: Cause we got some work to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

York, trying to pick the lock on a warehouse's door: Come oooon....come ooooooooonnnnn...

York, as his lock pick breaks: COME ON!

Carolina, Wash at her side: York? York is that you!?

York, turning around, startled: AHH!

York: Oh. Hey Carolin-

Carolina, pulling York into a hug: Oh I'm SO happy to see you again you can't even imagine...

Washington: Hey York whats up! Where have you been man?

York, speaking casually as Carolina lets go of him: I've been dead.

Washington, awkwardly: Oh. Right. Sorry.

York: PFFFFFT don't be! I've been hanging out and playing DDR with some red headed girl in armor and the Epsilon AI. Its was great!

Church, in AI form, materialising next to Carolina, in an excited tone: SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL! YORK MY DUDE WHATS UP!

York: YOOOOOOO Church how are you doing man?

Church: Oh I've been doing awesome. Being alive again is great!

York: You can say that again!

Carolina, visibly confused: So you guys met...in the afterlife?

Church: Yeah we're afterlife bros!

York: AFTERLIFE BROOOOOOS!

Church: AFTERLIFE BROOOOOOOS!

York and Church in unison, as Carolina and Wash silently look back and fort between the two of them: AFTER LIFE BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

York: *Ahem* So anyway. What are you guys doing here?

Washington: Mercenary work. Our client contacted us a couple hours ago and instructed us to meet up here with the other mercs they hired.

York: Me too! What a coincidence! I've been trying to get in but the lock on this door is no joke!

York, as Carolina walks past him: Must be some kind of high secury lock set up by our employer to prevent random bystanders or thieves from getting in. I've been picking away at it for almost an hour now. I think I'm about to go insa-

York, as Carolina casually opens the door:...

Washington, smugly: High security lock huh?

York: Shut up.

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Carolina, as everyone enters the warehouse: Did you come here alone York? Do you know who else got hired for this job?

York, as he scopes out the room: I came into contact with North and South Dakota over com. They said they'd meet me here, but North called me several minutes ago saying that they'd be late.

Washington, as he closes the door behind him: Really? What happened to them?

York: They...

York:...Took a wrong turn...

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North, next to a warthog in front of the Xiao Long household on Patch: I told you we should've just followed the GPS!

South, as Taiyang warily opens the front door to check what is going on: And I keep telling you the GPS is busted!

North: Oh yeah? If you're really better than the GPS then why are we at the WRONG LOCATION?

Taiyang: Uuuuummm...excuse me? How did you get here?

South, dryly: We drove.

Taiyang, blinking in confusion before talking: H-how???

South, with gritted teeth: WITH A CAR.

Taiyang, visibly confused:...M'am this is an island.

North and South: And?

Taiyang: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "AND"???

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York: We've been standing here for an hour now! How long are we gonna have to wait!?

Washington: I need to pee...

Carolina, scolding Wash: I told you to go do it before leaving!

Church, scolding Carolina: And I told YOU that stopping for slushies was a bad idea.

Carolina, indignantly: Well they were very good slushies and I will die on that hill!

Church: *sigh* My scanners say theres a porta potty behind the building Wash.

Washington, running out the door: THANK YOU I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

*A few seconds pass*

*Knock* *Knock*

Church: God damn is he done already?

*Knock* *Knock*

Church: Its unlocked Wash.

York: Whoa wait a minute! GUYS. Think about it. I'm alive. North and South are alive. All of us have been told to come. All of us freelancers.

Church: What are you going on about- wait. Oh god please no.

Carolina, deep in thought: Knock knock...

Wyoming, entering the room with Maine in tow: Who's there?

Church: UUUUURRRGH! Fuck my life they're alive too!

Washington, walking back into the room: Alright I'm back what did I mis-

Wyoming: Top of the morning Wash! I missed you lad!

Maine: *Grunt of agreement*

Everyone, sitting in awkward silence for a few seconds:...

Church: I think we have a lot of catching up to do...

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-To be continued-

[ask-the-rose-schnees]

Explanations

-RYvsWB!au short #1-

*On top of Blue Base, where Church as explained to Weiss and Blake the whole deal with the Reds and Blues*

Blake, arching an eyebrow: Soooo...you're fighting a fake war against these red guys, as a simulation for a secret super soldier program?

Church, shrugging: Yeah basically.

Weiss, awkwardly trying to make small talk: Soooooo how is the war effort doing?

Church, casually: Oh pretty well.

Weiss and Blake:...

The Blues:...

Weiss, mildly iritated: Are you going to say anything?

Tucker: Look lady. All we usually do around here is stand around and talk until something crazy happens.

Church: And right now that something is you. So whats your story?

Blake, in disbelief: Stand around and talk? Even though you're fighting a war?

Church, gesturing at Sheila and Freckles, both of which are standing guard in front of Blue Base: We have an automated tank and a giant battle droid. They have a jeep and a depressed robot who speaks a language no one in this canyon understands. As you can plainly see this "war" is more then a little one sided. So spit it out, do you need our help with something?

Blake, looking around: Well...we are missing two of our teamates.

Caboose: Are they red and yellow?

Weiss, expectantly: Yes?

Caboose, casually: They're over at Red Base. There were rose petals and yellow fire everywhere and in was really really pretty.

Weiss, appalled: WHAT!? They're at your enemy's base!? We have to go rescue them!

Tucker: Calm down lady. Your friends are safe. The reds are all idiots. They aren't a threat to anyone!

*Explosion goes off at Red Base*

Church, exasperated: Except themsevles.

Church, sighing: Look just...stay here and I'll go fetch your friends for you. Watch the base for me will ya?

Weiss, as Church leaves Blue Base: Wait you're leaving us in charge of your troops!?

Church, already walking towards Red Base: Feed Caboose three times a day and yell at Tucker everytime he does something stupid! Its not that hard!

Tucker: Bow chicka bow wow!~

Weiss, freezing Tucker into a block of ice: SHUT UP TUCKER!

Church, in the distance: SEE!? YOU'RE ALREADY DOING GREAT!

Blake, sighing: I just hope Ruby and Yang aren't in too much trouble...

Weiss, narrowing her eyes: Or causing too much trouble.

*Another explosion goes off at Red Base, this time followed by the distant sound of Ruby and Yang's hysterical laughter*

Blake, smirking smugly: You were saying?

Weiss, pinching the bridge of her nose with a hand on her hip: *sigh*

[ryvswb]

RYvsWB PSA:

Corvid-19

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*RvB guitar jingle plays as the screen fades into Ruby and Simmons, standing in Valhalla*

Ruby: Hiiii! I'm Ruby Rose, from the popular web series RWBY!

Simmons: And I'm Dick Simmons from the same sho-wait a minute...

Ruby: Today, we are here to deliver a very important public service announcement, about Corvid-19...the horrible pandemic that causes all those infected to be hunted down by a murder of 19 crows!

Simmons: Indeed! And we are here to- wait hold on! What was that about crows??? I'm pretty sure thats not how the Corvid-19 virus works Ruby.

Ruby: Yes it is! Its called "Corvid"! Thats the fancy scientific name for crows Simmons! DUH.

Simmons, as the cawing of multiple crows can be heard in the distance: Ruby that doesn't make any fucking sens-HOLY SHIT!

Simmons, running away as he is attacked by crows: AHHHHHH HELP I AM BEING ATTACKED BY A MURDER OF 19 CROWS AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Ruby, watching Simmons run away: Huh. Guess he was infected.

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Ruby: Hi! I'm Ruby Rose from the popular web series RWBY!

Washington, as Simmons can be seen screaming while still running away from the murder of crows in the background: And I'm Agent Washington from the popular web series Red vs Blue!

Ruby: And we are here today to give you 5 steps to survive the Corvid-19 epidemic!

Washington, as a picture of a man washing his hands appear next to him: The first and honestly most important step is...hygiene!

Ruby: Obviously you don't want to catch the virus. And if you already have it, you gotta make sure you don't infect other people!

Washington: Wash your hands, use hand sanitizer and wear a mask if possible! All those things will prevent you from catching or spreading those nasty germs!

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*Jumpcut to Grif walking out of the bathroom, the sound of a toilet flushing can be heard*

Carolina, the barrel of her gun right in Grif's face, speaking through gritted teeth: I didn't hear you wash your hands Grif.

Grif, walking backwards back into the bathroom without a word:...

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Washington: Step 2: Stay. Calm.

Ruby: Panicking will only make everything worst!

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*Jumpcut to a city, where is everyone running around in panic as countless crows fly all over the place*

Jaune, running in circle while holding his head: PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Sarge, knocking Jaune aside with the butt of his shotgun: OUT OF THE WAY SCUMBAG!

Sarge, shooting in random directions: ALL MAN FOR HIMSELF! ONLY THE STRONGEST MAY SURVIVE!

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Ruby: Step 3! Social distancing!

Washington: Thats to make sure the virus doesn't spread. Stay in your homes as much as possible. And avoid large gatherings.

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Donut, walking towards Blue base: Heya blues! I ran out of almond milk for my afternoon latte! Do you guys have any?

Donut, as a bullet flies past his head: HOLY JESUS!

Church, from the top of Blue base: STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BASE REDS!

Donut: Oooooooh riiiiiight, I forgot. Gotta practice social distancing because of the pandemic! Thanks Chur-HEY wait a darn minute! You're an AI! Why would you be afraid of the Corvid virus?

Church: Virus? Pandemic??? What are you on about? I don't need a pandemic to have a reason to keep your dumb asses away from me.

Church, as he shoots at Donut again, causing the latter to run away screaming like a girl: Now fuck. OFF.

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Washington: Step 4: Since you'll be in your house for a long time, you'll have to make provisions.

Ruby: But remember to not get greedy! Think about the other people who might need food and hygiene products more than you do!

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Blake, talking to the cashier in a grocery store, her shopping cart full of tuna cans: What. Do you MEAN "ONLY TWO OF EACH PER CUSTOMERS"!?!?

Cashier, shaking like a leaf: B-but mam thats the rule I can't make exceptions...EEP!

Blake, grabbing the cashier by the collar: You don't understand. I. NEED. My. Tuna.

Cashier, straight up panicking: M-mam you're holding the line!

Blake: I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!

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Washington: And finally, step 5: Be there for each other.

Ruby: These are hard times we're going through and some of your loved ones might be taking it harder then you would. So make sure you support them in their time of need.

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Caboose, standing on the edge of a building: OH MY GOD! THESE ARE HARD TIMES WE'RE GOING THROUGH! AND I'M TAKING IT HARDER THEN OTHERS WOULD! IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD SUPPORT ME IN MY TIME OF NEED!

Tucker, at the bottom of the building with Weiss, absolutely freaked out: CABOOSE GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!

Weiss, pleading: PLEASE TELL US WHATS WRONG!

Caboose, shouting towards the sky: THE GROCERY STORE! RAN OUT! OF OREOS!!!

Tucker, annoyed: You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Weiss, running her hands down her face: Bloody hell...

Tucker: WE'LL GET YOU DOUBLE STUF NOW GET. THE FUCK. DOWN.

Caboose:...

Caboose: Can we get a family pack?

Tucker, dismissively: Yeah sure.

Weiss, at Tucker: WHAT!? No! He'll just eat the whole thing within an hour and throw up!

Caboose, shouting towards the sky again: OH MY GOD! HOW WILL I SURVIVE WITHOUT MY OREOS! WOE IS ME!?!?

Weiss: OKAY FINE YOU'LL GET YOUR SODDING OREOS!

Caboose: YAY! THIS IS THE BEST DAY! EVER!

Caboose, jumping off the building: Ok coming down.

Tucker and Weiss, at the same time: CABOOSE!!!!

Caboose, landing safely with his jetpack: Yes thats my name, you sure love yelling it.

Weiss, wheezing and clutching at her chest: You...you had a jetpack.......this......this ENTIRE TIME?

Caboose, casually: Yeah? How did you think I got up there in the first place?

Tucker, at a loss for words: We thought you were....what were you......we though you were going to commit suicide!

Caboose: Nah I don't like Swiss cheese. I just wanted to send a complaint to little Jesus about the store running out of Oreos, but everytime I try calling heaven on the phone I always get answered by some weird lady and then Church gets really mad at me...

Tucker, walking away: What is my life.

Caboose, as Weiss passes out: Weiss? Weiss its not nap time yet silly! The big burning ball in the sky means it dayyyytiiiiiiime. Weiss?

Caboose, crouching next to an unconsious Weiss as the camera zooms out: HELLO? Weiss? Can I get my Oreos now??? WEIIIIIIIIIIIIISS?

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Washington: And thats all the time we got! We hope out tips and advices helped you.

Ruby, as a familiar hand taps her on the shoulder: And remember to stay saf-Oh? OH UNCLE!

Ruby, hugging Qrow: Were have you beeeeeeeeeeen!

Qrow, as Ruby breaks the hug: Hey squirt! I'd love to catch up buuuuut...

Ruby: Buuuuut?

Qrow, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck: I'm...sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your friend over here caught Corvid-19...

Washington: WHAT!? How would you even know that!? I've been standing out here this whole time and not a single crow as attacked me.

Qrow, whispering at Ruby: Are you going to tell him?

Ruby, whispering back: What!? No you tell him!

Washington, loosing his patience: What!? Tell me WHAT!?

Qrow: I know because my name is Qrow.

Washington:...You're kidding me right?

Qrow, relunctantly drawing Arbinger as 18 other iterations of himself gather behind him: I wish I was...

Washington:...

Washington, taking a deep breath trough his nose before speaking: Oh boy.

*The RvB guitar jingle starts playing, jumpcut to an overview of Valhalla, Washington screaming as he is being chased by 19 Qrows*

Washington, his voice echoing from afar as the screen fades to black: WHY IS YOUR NAME SPELLED WITH A Q!?!? OW OW OOOOOOOOWWWW!!!

[ryvswb]

Veemo, sitting at a bar counter with a large glass of wine, staring into nothing: I haven't updated this blog in months...

Veemo, after taking a long swig of his wine: Heck.

Carolina, sitting a few seats away at the same bar counter with Wash, looking at the stranger with a concerned expression: Yeesh this guy seems to be having a bad day.

Washington, gesturing at a drunk women: Well he doesn't seem to have it as bad as this lady at leas- aw fuck she's coming towards us...

Raven, completely wasted and barely able to stay on her feet, grabbing Wash by the collar: H-hey. *hic* Did you know my brother and I are CURSED to be BIRDS!?

Washington, fearing for his life: M'AM PLEASE PLEASE THIS IS A WENDY'S RESTAURANT!

Carolina: What???

Veemo, hiding his face in his hand: What even is this post anymore? I even stole a joke from Jelloapocalypse...

Carolina: WHAT???

[ryvswb]

@proximio-5 Asked: What happened to team JNPR?

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*Bloodgulch guitar jingle plays as the camera pans trough the corridors of Atlas academy, stopping at the Ace Ops bored and idling around in they're communal room*

Harriet, arms crossed, leaning against a wall: Marrow?

Marrow, standing next to her: Yes Harriet?

Harriet: Why are we here?

Marrow, pensively: ...I don't know Harriet...why are we here? I guess its one of life's greatest mystery huh?

Harriet: No you dumbass! I mean't why are we here twidling our tumbs while the general as a meeting with these weird color coded soldiers??? We were under attack by grimm only a few hours ago and now they're all just GONE!

Vine, playing cards with Elm: I heard the general say something about some kind of space time anomaly, I tried asking but he said it was classified.

Elm, putting a card on the table: Hey speaking of things disappearing, what happened to those Beacon brats? Last I remember they kicked our lights out but now they're nowhere to be foun-AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Nora, busting trough one of the walls with her hammer knocking every Ace Ops on the ground, absolutely enraged and sparkling with pink electricity: WHERE IS IRONWOOD!?

Pyrrha, entering the room through the hole Nora made, Ren and Jaune at her side, cringing at the damage Nora caused: WE'RE SORRYYYYY!

Jaune, gesturing at the Ace Ops, whom are dazed and scattered around the room: Pyrrha? I'd like to introduce to the Ace Ops. Ace Ops? This here is- actually you know what?

Jaune, pulling a middle finger at them: Go fuck yourselves you should be honored to even be graced with Pyrrha's presence.

Pyrrha: Jaune...aren't you being a little mean to them?

Jaune, putting a reasuring hand on Pyrrha's shoulder: Ok. Ok. Hear me out. I know the Ace Ops LOOK nice, but they're what we call class traitors. Also they're asslickers...except Marrow. Marrow's cool.

Jaune, happily waving at Marrow, all the while Nora violently rampages through the room: Hi dude whats up! This is my gf Pyrrha! She's uhhh, supposed to be dead but we don't really have time to unpack all that and I was wonderi-

Marrow, weakly raising his hand in a tumbs up from under a small pile of rubble as Jaune continues to ramble in the background: H...hello...miss Nikos....pleasure.....to meet you....big fan...

Pyrrha, giving Marrow a polite knod, as Nora slams Harriet through the ceiling with a pool table: O-oh! I didn't know I had fans in the military! The honor is all mine sir!

Ren: Ummmm shouldn't we reign Nora back before she actually kills someone?

Nora, slapping the shit out of Elm: WHERE.

*SLAP*

IS.

*SLAP*

IRON.

*SLAP*

WOOD!?

*YEETS ELM THROUGH A WALL*

Vine, visibly sweating in fear despite keeping a straight face: If you have business with the general...then you can find him in his office but-

Nora, walking up to Vine, stopping mere inches away from his face, narrowing her eyes: In his office huh? You better not be lying to me twig boy.

Nora, busting down the wall right next to Vine and walking through it, the rest of JNPR awkwardly following her one by one: COME ON TEAM! IRONTWAT'S LEGS AREN'T GONNA BREAK THEMSELVES!

Marrow, rising from the rubble snd dusting himself: You ummm, you ok Vine? You're looking kinda pale there buddy.

Vine: I am physically unscathed, but I am, however, screaming on the inside...

Clover, running in and stopping his momentum with the doorframe, panting heavily: GUYS PREPARE FOR COMBAT NORA VALKYRIE IS-

Clover, as Harriet comes crashing back down trough the ceiling, awkwardly taking in the state of the room:.....after the general....

Marrow, casually: Yeah its a little too late to tell us that boss.

Clover, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe while massaging his temples: *sigh* You know what? Fuck this.

Clover, putting on a fishing hat he pulled out of his pocket and unfolding Kingfisher: Ya'll can have the day off. I'm gonna go fishing.

Clover, his voice echoing through the hall as he walks away: Tell the general it was nice knowing him!

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Carolina, in Ironwood's office with Sarge, Lopez and Church at her sides: And thats pretty much all we know about the anomaly that fused our two worlds sir. We're just as in the dark as you are.

Ironwood, Winter and Penny behind him: This is indeed concerning...but at the very least it stopped Salem's invasion.

Sarge: Yes yes immortal demon witch queen blah blah blah. Can we go back to the real reason we came here?

Carolina, exasperated: Oh goddammit.

Church, as Ironwood and Winter look at them in confusion: Sarge for fuck sake we aren't-

Sarge, interupting Church and taking a step forward: Good sir. Aren't you tired of being blue? Don't you just want to unleash your inner RED!?

Ironwood, exchanging a confused glance with Winter: Ummm, I don't think I understan-

Sarge, slamming his fist on Ironwood's desk then pointing at his tie: OF COURSE YOU DO! Look at your tie! Its RED! But confined and drowned out by all this BLUE! Your subconscious is giving your inner struggles physical form THROUGH YOUR CLOTHES!

Carolina, in a scolding tone: Sarge. We've been over this.

Sarge: WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN THE RED ARMY AND UNLEASH THE RED WITHIN YOURSELF!

Church: He's already the leader of his own faction you dumb old fuck! HE'S NOT GOING TO JOIN YOUR SHITTY ARMY.

Penny, tilting her head in confusion: "Unleash your inner red"?Aren't meat people supposed to keep the red inside their body?

Lopez, in spanish: Please ignore him Penny, nothing he says or does ever makes any logical sense.

Ironwood, awkwardly clearing his throat to bring everyone's attention back to him: I ummm, appreciate the offer seargeant however um...the kingdom of Atlas would preffer to remain neutral in this......"conflict"...

*Building rumbles*

Ironwood, standing up and on alert: What was that!? Schnee the cameras!

Winter, pulling her scroll to look at the security feed, a confused look plastering her face once she sees Nora rampaging through Atlas academy on her screen: Huuuuuh.....sir? You might want to see thi-

Nora, through Winter's scroll: WHERE ARE YOU WOODY!? DON'T THINK YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO MY BABY BOY!

Winter, raising an eyebrow in confusion, as Ironwood's eyes widen in realisation: Baby...boy?

Penny, chirping cheerfully as Ironwood wipes the sweat from his forehead: I did not know friend Nora had a child!

Nora, busting into the office, the rest of JNPR standing awkwardly behind her: KNOCK KNOCK.

Church, exasperated: Oh no its another color coded fighting girl with a transformy weapon.

Carolina: Holy shit what did you do to piss this girl off?

Ironwood, pulling his collar: I ummmmm-

Oscar, poking his head into the room, speaking in a casual manner: He shot me.

Church: Where the fuck did you come from???

Carolina, glaring at Ironwood: You shot a child!?

Oscar, crossing his arms and staring at Ironwood with a smirk on his face: Yup. Off a bridge too.

Sarge, flatly: I don't want this guy in my army anymore...

Ironwood: Now I know what I did was wrong but, I'm sure if we all calm down we can tal-

Nora, slamming Ironwood trough the floor with her hammer, causing him to fall several floors down: VIBE CHECK!

Carolina: Oooooo I like her.

Sarge: Hands off blue. I saw her first.

Carolina, looking down the hole Ironwood fell through: Do you think he's dead?

Ren: No, his aura must've saved him.

Church: Seriously!? Jesus this aura crap is bullshit!

*awkward silence*

Pyrrha, breaking the silence: Sooooo want to go do more comedy segments?

Carolina, turning to face Pyrrha: Sounds lovely. You....have a very nice voice by the way.

Pyrrha, blushing: O-oh thank you! Your voice is very pleasant as well!

Lopez, in spanish, as everyone else leaves the room: Come on Penny lets blow this joint.

Penny, following Lopez out of the room: With pleasure friend Lopez! But I must ask. What joints shall we be blowing?

Ironwood, after everyone leaves the room, his voice barely audible from down the hole he fell into: Hello? Winter? Anybody??? I'm still stuck down here! Hellooooooooooo????

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Veemo's notes: This one took me a long time cause I didn't know how I wanted to end it. Sorry for the wait! 🙏😔

[ryvswb]

Anon Asked: I hope Penny gets along with Lopez.

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Lopez, standing alone at Red base, in spanish: Who the hell is Penny?

Penny, coming down from the sky and landing in front of Lopez: SAL-LU-TATION strange unknown native lifeform! I have come here as an ambassador in the name of the great kingdom of Atl-

Lopez, in spanish: WHO ARE YOU!? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?

Penny: Mmm. This language does not appear in my database...ONE MOMENT PLEASE!

Penny, her eyes flashing twice: Translation complete! Salutations friend Lopez! I am Penny Polendina! Ambassador in the name of the kingdom of Atlas! Seeing as our worlds have seemingly merged trough some sort of unknown anomaly, I have been tasked to investigate local natives to determine weither they are hostile or not and-

Lopez, in spanish: Whoa whoa hold on! Did you just hack into me!?

Penny, keeping her cheerful demeanor: "Hacking" is a strong word. All I did was enter your database in order to decipher your language, during which I took the liberty of looking up your name and other relevant informations from within your memory bank!

Lopez:...

Penny, cheerfully: Your software is extremely vulnerable by the way!

Lopez, in spanish: I feel violated.

[ryvswb]

@pandanoko01 Asked: Soooo, what are the freelancers, like Carolina and Washington doing? Are they with any other RWBY characters?

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Washington, the camera zoomed onto his face: Oh Carolina and I? We've just been hanging here.

Washington, the camera zooming out, revealing that he and Carolina are in the middle of a city: Wherever "here" is.

Washington: Also what the heck is a "rew bee"?

Carolina, mildly annoyed: Focus Wash. We need to figure out where we are and how we ended up here in the first place. For all we know the Reds and Blues could be in the same situation as us.

Washington, with a sigh: I just hope they aren't causing too much trouble...

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Caboose, inside the Blue base, putting a bowl of red powder in the microwave: This Hot Cheeto dust is not hot enough.

Blake, dropping her book and making a mad dash from the couch: CABOOSE NO THATS FIRE DUS-

Church, on the roof of Blue base as the floor under him lightly rumbles as an explosion is heard: *Sigh* Shella order a new microwave.

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Carolina, in a reassuring tone as her and Wash walk around the city streets: You worry too much. I'm sure they're doing fine.

Washington, sarcastically: Yeah I'm sure they are.

Washington, stopping to look around: Hey are we lost? Cause I'm pretty sure we walked by this coffee shop three times by now.

Carolina, snaping back: No we aren't! You're just imagining things...

Washington, sassily: Oh. So am I also imagining the white haired girl with the long braid thats been judging us and staring at us like we're idiots everytime we walk by?

*Wash and Carolina turn to the coffee shop, revealing Weiss sitting by the front window inside, staring at them with an unamused expression*

Washinton: Cause she's making me very uncomfortable...

Carolina: *sigh* FINE. Lets go inside and ask the clerk for directions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss, taking a long sip of her coffee as Wash and Carolina walk into the shop: Are you folks lost by any chance?

Carolina, sacastically: Oh! How did tell?

Weiss: I've seen you walk by three time by now.

Carolina, turning to Washington as he snickers: Shut up.

Weiss, furrowing her brow: Do yooou, need my help? I'm also new to these parts but I know the way out of the city if thats what you're looking for?

Carolina: Well, we're actually looking for our friends.

Washington: A bunch of guys in armors kinda like ours. But in varying shades of red and blue.

Weiss, her eyes widening in surprise: Oh! Do you mean the Reds and Blues?

Washington and Carolina in unison: You know them!?

Weiss, pinching the bridge of her nose: For better or for worst, yes.

Carolina: Alright, were are they then?

Weiss, finishing her coffee: The Blues are still at their base, most of the Reds are with one of my friends at a pizza restaurant a few streets away.

Weiss, standing up and looking out the window: Its not that far from here I could guide you ther-OH SHIT!

Carolina, concerned: Whoa are you okay?

Weiss, dashing to the ladies restroom: Shitshitshitshit!

Washinton, facing away from the door as two figures walk in: What was that about? Must be some pretty bad coffee huh?

Carolina, looking past Wash at the two figures walking to the counter: Ummm...Wash? I don't want you to panic...but don't turn around.

Cinder, walking up to the cafe's counter with Tyrian in tow, an exhausted look on her face as she slams a list on the counter: Make me all of this. To go. Names are next to each order. Do not get mine wrong.

Cafe clerk, fearfully grabbing the list and turning to his work station, shaking like a leaf: Y-yes mam!

Washington, wispering in a worried tone: Carolina? Whats going on?

Carolina, wispering back: Shhhh! Just act natural!

Cinder, turning to Tyrian as the clerk makes her orders: You never gave me your order, do you want anything?

Tyrian, rubbing his hands together: I want to blood of my queen's enemies!

Cinder, in a tired tone: I only have 50 lien.

Tyrian, grabbing his scroll as it buzzes, answering it: Yeeeeeeeeees? Hm hm? Yes of course your grace. Goodbyyyye! *beep*

Cinder, exasperated: What does she want NOW!?

Tyrian, declaring loudly, causing Wash and the cafe clerk to flinch: Our GODDESS demands PIZZA!

Cinder, grabbing Tyrian by his coat: PIPE DOWN. We're supposed to lay low you imbecile!

Tyrian, prying Cinder's hands off his clothes while rolling his eyes: Yes yes yes, whatever you say. What kind of pizza do you want? Her grace told me to get enough for everyone.

Cinder, as she turns back to the counter to recieve a small cardboard tray with four paper coffee cups in it: All dressed with extra black olives.

Tyrian, mockingly pretending to vomit, as he walk towards the front door: BLUURRRRG!

Cinder, turning around and pointing at Tyrian as he leaves: Quiet you pineapple gobbler!

Cinder, turning back to the counter and taking a sip of the cup marked with her name, before throwing it at the wall behind the clerk causing him to scramble back to his work station: You forgot the CINNAMON!

Washington, wispering: Wow this lady is an asshole.

Cinder, turning to Wash and Carolina: What did you say!?

Washington, turning to Cinder, spesking nervously: Huuuh I said Wow I could go for some ashbrown! Hahaha...ha...

*The sound of glass breaking is heard, causing everyone to look outside through the front window, where Tyrian can be seen driving away in a car with a broken window*

Carolina: I...think your friend just committed a car theft...

Cinder, hiding her face in her hands in exasperation: I noticed.

Cinder, taking a sip a new cup thats shakilly handed to her by the clerk to make sure her coffee was done right, before slamming some lien on the counter, grabbing the other three cups and leaving: Ugh. Lets hope he doesn't commit too many felonies along the way...

Carolina, waiting for Cinder to be far away from the cafe before speaking: Well that could've been worst.

Washinton, sighing in relief: Lets hope we don't see these two freaks ever again...

Weiss, awkwardly poking her head out of the ladies restroom: Yeeeaaaaah...about that...

[ryvswb]

*RvB guitar jingle plays, as the camera gives an overview of Red base*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simmons, inside Red base, huddled around an operation table with Ruby and Penny each of them wearing a doctor's mask over their face/helmet, a heart monitor is beeping in the background: Scalpel.

Ruby, passing Simmons a scalpel: Scalpel.

Simmons, after making an incision: Clamps.

Penny, passing Simmons a pair of clamps: Clamps.

Simmons, after placing the clamps: Scissors.

Ruby, passing Simmons a pair of Scissors: Scissors.

Simmons, as he seems to be cutting something:...

Simmons, as the heart monitor beeps faster: Shit! Nurse Lopez report!

Lopez, in front of a bunch of monitor screens, wearing a full nurse outfit, in spanish: WE'RE LOSING HIM DOCTOR!

Simmons: Not on my watch!

Simmons, as the heart monitor flatlines: RUBY THE DEFIBRILLATOR!

Ruby, defibrillators already in hands: On it!

Ruby, as she tries to reanimate the patient: CLEAR!

*ZAP*

Ruby: CLEAR!

*ZAP*

Ruby: CLEAR!

*ZAP*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Lopez, in a somber tone, in spanish: We lost him...

Ruby: NO!

Ruby, throwing the defibrillator on the ground and punching a wall in frustration: DAMMIT!!!

Penny, sobbing loudly into Lopez's shoulder as he gently rubs her back: H-he *hic* he was so *hic* he was so young...

Simmons, kicking a nearby chair: No no no FUCK!

Simmons, gesturing at the patient: *sigh* I JUST bought this thing...

*the camera zooms out, revealing a broken, toaster oven laying on the operation table, its insides covered in sticky black goop*

Grif, standing on the other side of the room: Well its not my fault this stupid thing couldn't handle making a few smores!

Grif, as everyone else glares at him: Hey could you scrape the melted marshmallow and chocolate out of that thing? I'm getting kind off hungry again and it would be a shame to let all that go to waste.

Grif:...

Grif: Why are you all looking at me like that?

[ryvswb]

@snowflake1488 Asked: Did Church remember to bring Yang back?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church, at the foot of a hill near Blue base:...

Church, crouching down and screaming: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Jumpcut to Red base*

Yang, walking out of Red base with Donut: Man that was a fun jamming session!

Donut, his voice slightly raspy: My throat hurt.

Grif, sitting on the ground: My EARS hurt.

Yang: Hey what do you guys do for fun around here anyway?

Simmons and Grif, simultaneously: Stand around and talk?

Yang, sarcastically: You guys sound very fun to be around.

Grif: Oh just wait for the bounty hunters and evil AIs to start showing up.

Yang:...

Yang: Sounds boring! Lets go hit the city! I think I saw one nearby while Ruby and I where falling from the sky.

Grif: I don't really wan-

Yang, walking away with Donut: I'm kinda hungry. Who wants some pizza?

Grif, standing up in excitement: PIZZA!? You now have my attention. Lets go Simmons.

Simmons, as Grif walks away: But we need to guard the base and...and...ummmmm...oh fuck it.

Lopez, in spanish , watching Simmons run after Grif:.....Finally some peace and quiet...

Lopez:...

Lopez, in spanish, walking inside Red base: I'm going to go make a back up of myself now. Knowing them they'll come back with a new batch of evil maniacs to deal with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church, briskly walking towards Red base: Gotta hurry gotta hurry, gotta hurry and send these fucking brats home before some new secret organization or whatever thats after them shows up here to fuck our shit up.

Lopez, in spanish: Oh hey. I was wondering how long it would take for you to realize you forgot blondie.

Church, impatiently: Yeah yeah where is she?

Lopez, in spanish: She left.

Church, softly:.......what?

Lopez, in spanish: She left with the other idiots to get pizza.

Church: Oh...no....I'm too late.......THE WACKY HIGHJINKS HAVE BEGUN.

Church, dropping to his knees and shouting towards the sky: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lopez, in spanish: Drama queen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucker, on the roof of Blue base with Weiss, watching Yang and the Reds leave the canyon: Oh jesus what are the reds up to this time. Hey Weiss. Why don't you go with them? This party of idiots desperately needs a straight man to babysit them.

Weiss, offended: But I'm neither straight nor a man!

Tucker: No I mean't- oh whatever just go with them and make sure they don't get in trouble okay?

Weiss, crossing her arms: Why me? Most of these people are YOUR friends and I already know Yang can handle herself. Why should I have to play babysitter?

Tucker: Alright look, you can either go the the city with them and maybe have a nice time...or you can stay here and help me convince Caboose that those tubes of weird colored powder you put in your sword aren't pixie sticks.

*Both turn towards Caboose*

Caboose, trying to pry open a tube of ice dust: Hey Weiss is this one blueberry or raspberry?

*The dust tube explodes in Caboose's face, freezing over his helmet*

Caboose, his voice muffled: OH. ITS PEPPER MINT.

Weiss, starring at Caboose unamused:...You know what? I'm going to get some coffee.

Tucker, as Weiss walks away: Bye! Have fun!

Tucker, waiting for Weiss to be gone before walking back into Blue base: Now its just me and the cute cat babe. Oooooohhh yeaaaaaah.

Caboose, his helmet still covered in ice: HELLO? ANYBODY HERE? MY NOSE IS ITCHY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church, running back to Blue base: TUCKER! Yang and the reds left! We have to find them so we can send these four girls back to wherever the fuck they came from before some bullshit happens- WERE THE FUCK IS WEISS.

Tucker, casually: Oh she left to get coffee.

Church:......you know what? Fuck this. I'm just gonna go make a back up of myself before these morons come back with more trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writers note: This is Epsilon Church so he can understand Lopez by translating him into english.

[ryvswb]

How are Ruby and Yang doing in the Red base?

*Red vs Blue guitar jingle plays, as the camera pans down to Church walking towards Red base*

Church, walking up to Grif, Simmons and Lopez, who are standing in front of Red base: Heya reds. I'm- what the fuck are you doing?

Grif, holding a bottle of whiskey: Getting drunk.

Church: With your helmet on?

Grif, pouring whiskey in his visor: Its been a long morning shut up.

Church: WHATEVER. Two girls fell from the sky and landed near our base and are looking for their friends. Caboose told me he saw them land over here so I came here to fetch them.

Simmons, excitedly: Oh you mean Ruby and Yang! Oh you'll love them they're really nice. Very well behaved too!

Lopez, in spanish: They blew up the warthog. Twice.

Simmons: Yang's in the base with Donut. They seem to be getting along!

Grif, exasperated: A little too well...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Inside Red base*

Yang, singing along as Bmblb play loudly on her scroll: BABY CAN'T YOU SEE?

Donut, singing VERY off key: WON'T YOU BEEEE WITH MEEEE?

Yang: WE COULD LIVE IN A GARDEN OF ECSTASY!

Donut, singing so loud he may as well be screaming: YOU COULD BE MY QUEEN!!! I COULD BEEEE YOUUUR DREAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Jumpcut back to Grif*

Grif: And thats why I'm drinking my sad juice.

Simmons: Theres also Ruby. She's absolutely adorable. I showed her through the base and she was super excited the whole way through! Even when I showed her how to organise all our ammo in alphabetical order!

Lopez, in spanish: She drooled all over our tech and weaponry.

Grif: *Sniff sniff* Why does my gun smell like chocolate and strawberries?

Church, growing impatient: Alright okay cool story, where is she so I can pick her and the other one up and leave?

Simmons: Oh Sarge wanted to recruit her into the red army, you know, cause she's red and as a gun, so he took her on a trial misson.

Church: *SIGH* WHERE?

Simmons: Blue base.

Church: You mean the same Blue base guarded by two literal killing machines?

Grif: Yep.

Church:.......

Church: Fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*On the roof of Blue base*

Tucker, awkwardly standing in between Weiss and Blake, who are both loundging on beach chairs with drinks: So hey beautiful. Once we find your friends do you think you and I could...oh I don't know. Go have a bite somewhe-

Weiss, taking a sip from her drink before dryly cutting Tucker off: I'm a lesbian.

Tucker, with genuine disapointment: Oh...

Tucker, turning to Blake:...

Tucker: Are you a lesbian too?

Blake, not lifting her eyes from her book: Bi.

Caboose, poking his head out of Blue base: WHERE ARE YOU GOING???

*Distant polka music*

Blake, her cat ears twitching slightly: What is this music?

*Polka music grows louder*

Tucker, as he notices a beaten up warthog zig zaging in the distance: Oh no its the idiots.

Weiss, squinting at the warthog until she notices the one driving it is none other than Ruby: Oh no one of them is MY idiot.

Sarge, on the shotgun seat: You're doing great private Rose! Your unpredictable driving tactics are confusing the enemy!

Ruby, struggling to make the warthog to drive straight: Well I sure hope they're as dizzy as I am! WHY DID YOU LET ME DRIVE THIS THING!? I'M SIXTEEN!

Sarge: Oh shush kiddo your doing great! You're almost as good as I was at your age!

Freckles, noticing the warthog zing zagging closer and zooming onto Ruby: HOSTILE TARGET DETECTED.

Tucker: Oh fuck! She's not on his no-kill list!

Freckes, locking onto the warthog as it drives full speed towards him: TARGET LOCKED.

Church, in the distance, sprinting from over a hill: FRECKLES! DISARM WEAPONS! DISARM WEAPONS!!!

Freckles, as the warthog zooms past him and crashes into Blue base: WEAPONS DISARMED.

Church: Oh thank fuck...

Ruby, dizzily walking out of the warthog: Heyyy...Weiiiss.. I came to pick...you up....*face plants*.

Weiss, screeching from atop the base: RUBY ROSE HOW DARE YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS!? IF MY HAIR WASN'T ALREADY WHITE I WOULD'VE SPOUTED FIVE WHOLE GREY HAIRS BECAUSE OF THIS!!!

Sarge, still sat in the warthog: Well that was underwhelming. How am I supposed to test this new kamikaze jeep now?

*warthog beeps rythmatically*

Sarge: Oh grapes.

*warthog explodes, sending Sarge flying into the ocean*

Blake, still reeling from the whole string of events: Is...this how things always go around here?

Tucker, apathetically: You'll get used to it.

[ryvswb]

@proximio-5 Asked: Have Wash and Carolina met the girls yet?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Washington, walking alongside Carolina and Weiss on the sidewalk: Well we certainly met one of them. Wait how many of you are there?

Weiss, leading the way towards the pizza place she left Yang and the Reds at: There are four of us.

Carolina, jokingly: Well I sure hope your friends aren't as...rowdy as ours.

Weiss, as the pizza place comes into view: Oh don't worry, We've met the Reds and Blues and I can assure you that we aren't as destructive or as chaotic as these-

Weiss, stopping in her tracks, stunned at the carnage going on at the pizza place: -imbeciles...

*Weiss, Wash and Carolina all stand there in disbelief as they see Adam's unconscious body laying next to Tyrian's poorly parked stolen car, the latter fighting Yang inside the restaurant all the while Grif seems to be shooting at both of them*

Carolina: God...

Weiss:...fucking...

Washington:...DAMMIT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang, brawling with Tyrian, before taking a volley of bullet, causing her aura to flicker, her eyes turning red as she turns towards Grif: WHERE ARE YOU AIMING AT!?!?

Grif, reloading his rifle: You said you're super power made you stonger when you take damage right? So by shooting both of you not only am I damaging the scorpion asshole but I'm also powering you up AND saving myself the extra effort it would take for me to avoid shooting you!

Yang, after ducking to avoid another volley of Grif's bullets: Your shots still hurt me you dumbass!

Tyrian, kicking Yang in the stomach, sending her flying into a wall: Why thank you for the assist orange boy! We make a great team you and I!

Donut, still calmly sitting in the back of the restaurant: Huuuuh Grif? I really don't mean to hurt your self esteem, but I don't think you're helping very much.

Simmons, poking his head out of his hiding spot under a table: Yeah I think you should just leave this to Yang Grif, she looks like she knows what she's doing........unlike you.

Grif: Oh shut up! If you're gonna complain then why aren't you two helping!?

Donut, in an innocent tone: I just ate! I need to digest before I do any straining physical activity!

Simmons, retreating back under the table: I-I'm huuuuuuh ALERGIC TO SCORPIONS! Yep thats it! *cough cough* sorry can't help...

Grif: I hate you both...

Tyrian, talking to himself: My my! This is almost as easy as the time I sunk Fairgame!

Tyrian, getting clocked in the face by Yang, causing him to recoil backwards and clutch his face: AAUURGH! WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR FAMILY AND PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE!?

Yang, shrugging lightly as a smirk form on her lips: I don't know. You just have a very punchable face I guess.

Donut, cheering from his seat in the back: Yeah do it again Yang! I love a good fisting!

Literally everyone else inside the building including Tyrian: SHUT THE FUCK UP DONUT!

Donut, offended: Alright you know what? Since its seems like I'm not welcome here, I'm just going to go take a light power walk to help my digestion then!

Donut, standing up with a huff and walking towards the front door: If anyone is looking for me I'll be shopping for essential oils!

*Everyone silently and awkwardly watch Donut as he walk trough the ravaged restaurant, past Yang and Tyrian, and finally, leaves trough the front door*

Tyrian, breaking the silence: Okay can we go back to killing each other now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carolina, meeting Donut halfway in the restaurant's parking lot, Weiss and Wash at her side: Donut! What in the world is going on in there!?

Donut, in a frustrated voice: Oh you know, just a bunch of MEANIES too busy fisting each other to appreciate my input!

Weiss, getting flustered: E-excuse me they're doing WHAT!?

Washington, apathetically: Just don't think about it. You'll learn to zone out his innuendos eventually.

Donut, slightly choked up: Now if you'll excuse me, I have some much needed theraphy shopping to do. Weiss. Agent Washington. Agent Carolina.

Donut, looking at Adam, whom is still unconscious on the ground: Mysterious man who got ran over.

Donut, walking away: I hope all of you have a good day!

Carolina: Donut wait! We need your help to stop thi-

Donut, not stopping nor turning around, choking back tears: I SAID HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Carolina, turning back to Wash and Weiss: *sigh* Great! Now what?

Weiss, in a serious tone: We need to formulate a plan. Okay...one of us stays out here to cut off Tyrian's escape, meanwhile the other two-

Washington: Whoaaaa whoa whoa! Why are we wasting our time making plans right now? The fight is already going on! Theres no time!

Carolina: Are you saying we should just waltz in guns blazing!?

Washington, as Yang and Grif can be seen fighting Tyrian trough the restaurant's windows behind him: YES! Theres six of us and one of him! We go in. We shoot him. He dies. Simple.

Weiss, in a matter of fact tone: His aura will protect him from your bullets, its not going to be this simple.

Carolina: Also I can see Simmons trembling under one of the table, I don't think he'll be of any help.

Washington, begrudgingly conceding: Alright fine. You both have a point. But we still outnumber five on one.

*Yang comes crashing trough the window, her aura breaking as she hits the ground*

Weiss, crossing her arms sternly: Now its four on one.

Washington, loosing his patience: We. Are. Still. At an advantage! Lets just go in and kill this guy. BEFORE HE KILLS GRIF. Why should we be afraid of ONE GUY!? Does he have a scary special move that shreds armor in one hit or something!?

Weiss, bluntly: He does actually.

Washington:...

Washington: Goddammit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyrian, after he sent Yang flying through the window: Heeheehee! She's not part bird like her mom but she sure can fly!

Grif, standing dramatically at the other end of the restaurant: Finally. Now its just you, me...and Simmons pissing himself under the table behind me!

Simmons: Please don't remind him I'm here!

Tyrian, flaunting dramatically, with a huge grin on his face: Oh? Think you can take me on your own chubby boy?

Grif, tense dramatic music playing as he talks: Maybe not...I'm not the strongest. I'm not the smartest. But I have the powers of god AND pizza on my side!

Grif, taking aim: Sayonara motherfucker.

*click click*

Grif, dramatic music screeching to a stop as he realises he's out of ammo:.....oooooooooooooooh shit...

Tyrian:Heeheeheeeee.

Tyrian, breaking into a full sprint towards Grif: HeeheeHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Grif, screaming like a little girl as throws his empty gun along with several other objects at Tyrian, whom effortlessly slashes them all aside with his blades: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Pizza place cashier, his squeaky teenager voice apathetically calling to Tyrian, causing his blades to stop mere inches away from Grif's visor: Sir your order is ready.

Tyrian, reluntantly sheating his weapons and walking towards the counter: *sigh* Just as I was really getting into it.

Grif, completely frozen in place, as Tyrian casually picks up his coat off the ground, accepts his pizzas from the cashier, then leaves:...

Simmons, coming out of hiding once Tyrian is gone: Phew! Glad thats over! Right Grif?........Grif?

Grif: *faints*

Simmons: Oh great now I'm gonna have to carry you're lazy ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carolina, as she spots Tyrian casually walking to his (stolen) car with his five pizzas in hand, Weiss and Wash too busy bickering to notice: Uuuuummmm guys?

Carolina, as Tyrian gets into his car and starts the engine, Weiss and Wash still not noticing: GUYS!

Carolina, taking a shot a Tyrian's car as he drives away, but failing to stop him: Dammit! He got away!

Weiss: See? If we had gone through with my plan this wouldn't have happened!

Washington: No. We could've prevented this by going in and gank him with our numerical advantage! Your "plan" would've just wasted our time!

Simmons, dragging Grif from inside the pizza place: Will both of you shut up and help me carry Yang and Grif!?

Simmons, his sarcasm causing Weiss and Wash to bow their heads in shame: Thanks for the help back there by the way.

Carolina, nodding her head at Adam, who is slowly regaining consciouness: What do we do about him? Should we call an ambulance?

Adam, slowly standing up and rubbing his face: Uuuugh...what the hell happened? *distant polka music* What the fuck is this music?

Adam, turning towards the source of the music as it grows louder, his vision blurry: Is...is this...what is this a puma or someth-

Ruby, as she unknowingly runs Adam over with the warhog, sending him flying in a nearby open manhole, excitedly calling out: WEISS LOOK! SARGE THOUGHT ME HOW TO DRIVE!!!

Sarge, sitting in the shotgun seat, his voice full of pride: And she only burned three red lights! Kid's a natural!

Carolina, in a very tired tone: What did you say earlier about your friends not being destructive?

Weiss, pinching the bridge of her nose: *SIGH*

[ryvswb]

I'm bored. So here is the post I'm working on without context. ;3

"Knock knock"

[ryvswb]

@silsir3 Asked: How is the coffee trip going?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Blood Gulch guitar jingle plays, as the camera pans down to Yang and the Reds (minus Sarge and Lopez) all sitting at a booth in a pizza restaurant, laughing over coffee and pizza*

Yang: And he said *in a mocking deep voice* "WHAT DOES SHE EVEN SEE IN YOU!?" then he jumped at me and I GRABBED HIS SWORD.

Donut: Thats my favorite part!

Grif, at Donut: SHHHHH!

Yang, doing a punching motion: Then, when the dust cleared, I punched him RIGHT IN THE RIBS!

Simmons, cringing: Oh that sounds painful.

Grif, snapping: Shut up! Both of you!

Grif, to Yang, excitedly: What happened next!?

Yang, standing up and making wide arm movements: He went FLYING alllll the way across the bridge! Then, when he got up I THREW his sword down into the river and he was all like *in a mocking voice* "NOOO!".

*Everyone laughs*

Yang: And then, the absolute idiot. Instead of running away or shooting us with the GUN he still had, tried to grab Blake's broken weapon...

Simmon, gasping in suspense: Oh no!

Yang, hyping them up: But Blake managed to beat him to it. All the while I grabbed the OTHER piece of Blake's sword and...

Grif, excitedly: AND WHAT!?

Yang, making a stabbing motion: We both stabbed him RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST!

Simmons, recoiling: Oh jesus!

Grif: Thats so fucking metal.

Donut, enthusiastically: He got double penetrated!

Grif, as Yang laughs loudly: Why did you have to ruin it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hooded figure, standing ominously in the pizza place's parking lot, watching Yang laughing with the Reds from a distance, talking to himself: Go on. Laugh. Laugh while you still can Xiao Long.

Hooded figure, the camera panning up to his face, revealing him to be Adam, continuing his monologue: But know this. Once you are at your weakest, when Blake isn't there to help you, I WILL have my reven-

Tyrian, drifting dangerously into the parking lot with his stolen car, unknowingly running Adam over in the process: Aaaaaand I have arrived! Wait, did I hit something?

Tyrian, shrugging as he gets out of the car and struts his way toward the pizza place: Eh. Probably just a hobo or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang, as she spots Tyrian entering the restaurant: Oh come the heck on...

Simmons, worried: Huuuuh you know this guy Yang?

Yang, glaring at Tyrian as he casually walks to the counter: Yeah. He's one if our enemi-

Grif, interupting Yang: No.

Yang, confused: Excuse me?

Grif: I said: NO. We are currently having a GOOD TIME, over some tasty pizzas. We are NOT about to get involved in this.

Simmons: But Grif! This guy looks dangerous! Have you seen the way he drove in!? He must've broken like, three street laws! Also that car looks stolen...

Grif: You have no proof of that!

Yang, looking out the window at Tyrian's car: One of the windows is broken.

Yang, squinting at Adam's unconscious body laying face first on the asphalt, not recognizing him: Also I'm pretty sure he ran over a hobo or something...

Grif, loosing his temper: We are NOT, getting involved with the creepy scorpion man!

Tyrian, ignoring Yang and the Reds as he his greeted by the cashier: Helloooooo! Five medium pizzas to go please! Oh wait the toppings...

Tyrian, rummaging through his pockets until he finds and pulls out a crumpled note: Lets seeeee...one Meat lovers, one vegetarian, two all dressed, one with extra black olives annnnnnnnnd one pinapple and ham for me!

Grif, standing up from his seat at the far end of the restaurant: EXCUSE THE FUCK ME!?

Tyrian, turning to Grif, with a smile on his face: Oh? Are you talking to meee?

Grif: Yes I'm talking to you you sick fuck!

Donut: What happened to not getting involed with the creepy scorpion man?

Grif: Shut the fuck up Donut this is important!

Grif, turning back to Tyrian: Someone needs to stop this maniac from soiling this precious pizza with the TAINT of pinapple!

Tyrian, walking towards Grif in a cocky manner: Ooooh? And what are you going to do about it? I already placed the orders, all thats left to do is for me to pick it up once its ready!

Grif, cocking his rifle: You won't live long enough to do that...

Tyrian, smiling devilishly as he takes off his trenchcoat and extends his blades: Well its not like I have anything better to do right now.

Simmons, asking Yang in a worried tone: So uummmmm...how strong is this guy?

Yang, flatly: He's literally a serial killer. How strong is Grif?

Donut: Not very.

Simmons, dryly: He gets exhausted getting out of bed in the morning.

Yang: Oh so he's mega dead. Got it.

Grif, irritated: I CAN HEAR YOU!

Simmons, hiding under the table: IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU GRIF!

Grif: Wow how nice of you to have faith in me.

Grif, running at Tyrian: FOR PIZZAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Yang, arming her gauntlets and jumping into the fight as well: *Sigh* I should've just gone with Weiss.

Donut, still casually sat at his spot while bullets and furniture fly all over the place: Are we not going to help them Simmons?

Simmons, fearfully hiding under the table: NOPE. WE'LL ONLY GET IN THE WAY. I'M SURE THEY'LL BE JUUUUUST FINE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writer's note: I wanted to include the fight scene in this but it would've made the post way to f-ing long, so I'll put it in the next one!

[ryvswb]

@snowflake1488 Asked: Since Adam is somehow alive should we expect someone like Taxes to magically show up?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucker, at Blue base with the other Blues, Blake and Weiss: Oh fuck I hate doing my taxes.

Church: I think they mean't Texas. And yeah, considering me and that edgy fuckwad Yang and the reds told us about are both alive, I guess Texas is out there somewhere huh?

Tucker: Hopefully nowhere near us.

Caboose: Yeah she's scary...

Blake, quizzically: Who is Texas and why do I get the feeling I never want to meet her?

Church: *sigh* My violent, angry ex who killed a fuck load of people.

Blake, raising an eyebrow: Huh. Well thats a weird coincidence. I also have a violent, angry ex who killed a fuckload of people.

Tucker: Well hopefully we never meet them.

Weiss: Its the guy Ruby knocked into the sewers earlier actually.

Tucker, groaning: Oh fucking great! Well hopefully he's dead.

Blake: *sigh* He probably isn't. His aura most likely protected him.

Church: What is this aura bullshit anyway? Sounds like a bad plot device.

Caboose: Like how we've been ignoring the fact that you came back to life until just now and the fact that agent Washington non longer as brain damage?

Church: Nah those are plot holes.

Weiss, noticing a small object rolling at everyone's feets: Hey what is this thing?

Tucker, looking down at the object along with everyone else: Huh...I'm getting a feeling of deja v-

???, watching from a distance as the flashback they threw explodes, blinding Weiss, Blake and the Blues, causing them all to panic and scramble around: Hmph! They're as dumb as I remember them.

???, revealed to be Texas, watching in amusement as the Blues, Weiss and Blake blindly stumble about: Serves them right. I've been dead for only 9 seasons and they already replaced me. With four girls this time. FOUR!

Tex, as she walks away: Un-fucking believable.

[ask-the-rose-schnees]

How are they here?

-RYvsWB!au prologue-

*God of Darkness, casually floating through the cosmos before tripping on a random planet and bumping into the RWBY universe, sending it flying into the Red vs Blue universe, causing the two world to crash together and become one*

God of Darkness, sweating ethereal beads:...

God of Light, coming out of nowhere, causing his brother to jump in surprise: Hello brother. I was looking for yo-...what is that weirdly shaped universe over there?

God of Darkness: ITS NOTHING.

God of Light: Are you sure? I'm pretty sure it wasn't there befo-

God of Darkness, nervously trying to change the subject: Oh f-forget about that! What did you require me for?

*God of Light, suspicious for a moment, before floating away with his brother, as the camera zooms into the newly fused universe*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grif, standing on top of Red Base with Simmons: Hey Simmons?

Simmons, turning towards Grif: Yes Grif?

Grif, looking up at the sky: Do you ever wonder...

Simmons: I swear to fucking god Grif. If you ask me "why are we here" on more time. I'm making you clean Lopez's exhaust pipe for a month.

Grif, still looking up at the sky: Nah I was gonna ask why the fuck are we back in Blood Gulch.

Simmons, surprised:...Thats, a very good question. Why are we back in Blood Gulch?

Grif, slowly stepping away from Simmons: I was also gonna ask why the hell are four girls falling out of the sky.

Simmons, right before getting crushed by Ruby and Yang: WAIT WHA-

Grif, talking casually: See what I mean?

Simmons, whining from under Ruby and Yang: Why didn't you warn me sooner? Also theres only two of them dumbass.

Grif, amused: Thats because the other two landed over at Blue Base! Oh man! Tucker must be so hyped right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucker, standing in front of the lake behind Blue Base with Church and Caboose, as Weiss and Blake come crawling out of the water: OH MAN I'M SO HYPED RIGHT NOW!!!

Church, mumbling to himself: Son of a bitch the storage unit is glitching again...

Caboose, excitedly greeting the two girls: Oh my GOD! You fell from the sky! You must be ALIEN VISITORS!

Tucker, talking seductively: More like angels am I right?

Caboose: ALIEN ANGELS!

Weiss, glaring at the blues, iritated: Who are you people!? Where in the world are we!? I demand answer!

Church, talking under his breath: Oh you're gonna fun to deal with I can already tell.

Church, letting out an exasperated sigh, before stepping up to Weiss: Um, greetings miss...

Weiss, dryly: Weiss Schnee and this is my friend Blake Belladonna.

Blake, waving awkwardly: Hi...

Church: Right. My name is Leonard L. Church leader of Blue Team and these are my men Michael J. Caboose and Lavernius Tucker. You are currently at Blood Gulch outpost alpha.

Caboose: HELLO!

Tucker: Heya babes.~

Blake, her cat hear folding backwards: Blood Gulch!? That doesn't sound very reassurring...

Church, sighing: Yeah. I know. Look why don't you come inside-

Tucker, interupting Church: Bow chicka bow wow.

Weiss and Blake:...

Church, iritated: Ignore him. Come inside so you can dry yourselves. We can talk afterwards.

Weiss, with a polite bow: Thank you for the hospitality.

Blake, picking at her wet clothes: I am so wet right now...

Tucker: BOW CHICKA BOW-OWWW!!!

Church, watching Weiss conjure a chunk of ice, sending it flying into Tucker's crotch, causing him to double over in pain: Heh. These two are going to fit right in.

Tucker, lying on the ground in fetal position, squeaking weakly as everyone else leaves him behind: Bow...chicka...bow..........wow...

[ask-the-rose-schnees]

The RYvsWB AU now as its own blog!

🎉🎉🎉 @ryvswb 🎉🎉🎉

For all 10 of you who remember this AU even exists...rejoice! Cause I want to make more of it!

(Mostly cause I have a writers block for whiterose content but WHATEVER)

I opted on making a new blog for this AU because I want to keep this one 100%

PURE WHITEROSE GOODNESS.

....

*ahem*

So yeah.

I hope you guys enjoy. :)

-Mod Veemo ❤💙