#ryoji you are so interesting

[eru-iru]

thinking about how death/pharos was sealed inside makoto and he formed a bond with him so he didnt mind being sealed inside him he loves being close to makoto but they could only really meet each other during the dark hour so he was limited. gaining his missing pieces back had it perks since now he can make himself human and be closer to makoto as a friend and his feelings further developed the more he lived in the real world with makoto turning to romantic love. even went ahead and gave himself a form that resembles makoto. he really wanted to exist close to him oh my gods and im just my heart melts he really did become human because of that desire that was born in him and it grew

[mymp3]

because twt is broken i thought i could share off my doodle compilation to the world. silly doodles new and old that i made into my new header :)

+ bonus doodles

[crescentfool]

help! i can’t stop thinking about this guy! send help!

[moonrecalled]

"This is..."

Is he dreaming? Ryoji knows distantly that what he's seeing right now should be an impossibility. He knows that, and it's not like he isn't shocked! After all, the sky is green, the moon shines far too large in the sky, and coffins surround him as far as the eye can see. But maybe he's so surprised that he's not comprehending the sight as real yet, because for some reason... he doesn't feel afraid. At least, not in the way he thinks he should be.

There's just something about this place that feels natural in it's unnaturalness, a juxtaposition that fits just right in his mind. There is some anxiety inside him, he thinks, as he tries to figure out what this all means and what's happened to the people he loves... maybe that's the fear he's supposed to be feeling? Is it possible to feel both fearful and peaceful at once? He doesn't know what this feeling means... but somehow... he doesn't want to know.

"Makoto-kun!" Ryoji exclaims as he notices the familiar face - and all at once, a wave of relief sweeps through him. If Makoto is here, then everything must be alright. There's no reason to panic just yet, anyway - it won't help a thing, right?

Something is wrong, wrong, wrong. But Ryoji stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the voice whispering at the back of his mind, and focuses entirely on the boy who's always been there.

"Do you know what's going on? I don't know why, but when I woke up, it was like this... You're okay, aren't you?"

@fatexbound ( starter for minato! )

[crest-of-gautier]

made an eeny bit of progress in pq today... im like maybe 80% through the 3rd floor of you in wonderland and currently level 11...!

[nyxappriser]

i know it probably wasn't at all intentional on atlus' part, but i'm thinking again about ryoji not knowing how to just. be friends with girls akjdsfjkasd

i feel like knowing the context behind the original social links (those with the girls specifically) makes ryoji's existence much more plausible. from what i've heard, the person who wrote the social links didn't know how to say no, so every single route with a girl was romantic. the protag had no choice in the matter. and with that being the case...

the idea is more justified in p3r (because of certain cutscenes with ryoji), but i like to think that some of ryoji's personality is a manifestation of the protag's own inability to reject girls. every route with them is romantic, which means that friendship between boys and girls doesn't exist, which translates to ryoji being overly flirtatious- not necessarily because he's interested in girls, but because he doesn't know how else to befriend them.

there are a couple of points in p3r (and even the manga) which hint to that as a concept; for one, ryoji doesn't understand why girls' boyfriends are upset with him when they confront him on the roof. his behavior during that scene specifically implies that he's not flirting for the sake of entering a relationship, but because he's trying to form bonds, the way the protag did.

there's also the manga, in which there's literally a point where ryoji asks why the girls don't understand that he needs time with his bros. ryoji spends more time with minato and junpei than he does with a single girl from gekkoukan, and imo, that speaks volumes.

[brynn-lear]

LOCKED AND LOADED [Yandere!Wanderer x Reader]

Prompt: The world is about to end. How will you grieve when you're forced to be with a miserable man until the last second? [Dedicated To: @mixed-kester for the Alone Together Event]

Content Tags: yandere!scaramouche "fluff" oneshot (yes, there are no other parts:]), major persona 3 spoilers but you DON’T need to know the game before reading this since everything is explained, improper use of a S.E.E.S evoker /j, Scaramouche is so normal about you, UNRELIABLE NARRATOR, major character death/s–

V. Acceptance.

"Where the hell are you, (Y/n)?"

Standing near what should have been the front doors of his university was a short man with dark purple hair. He leaned precariously against them, his head tilted upward as if the sickly green moon's ominous pull was nothing to be afraid of. Gekkoukan University's nearby dorms– fraternity and sorority houses included– are not usually this silent. Instead of people, coffins were aligned perpendicular to the ground.

The wanderer glanced at his watch with mild interest. He had been waiting for a while now. Your guest hoisted himself up, circling the ground with the tip of his shoe. The baseline of his attitude had always defaulted to irritability and passive-aggressiveness. The vertically aligned hour-and-minute hands do not placate it. The timing itself makes it worse.

It's December 31st, 2009, 12 AM– the Dark Hour.

With a harsh sneer, he pocketed his hands. You usually have the door to the Velvet Room open to him whenever. What's the big deal? Were you seriously THAT mad at him? Really? He didn't do anything to warrant this "pettiness". He had never known silence as much as this moment.

You should've accounted for the hostility that proceeds on the "off-chance" he did arrive early.

His tone darkened, his bloodied hands gripping his S.E.E.S evoker tightly.

"If you don’t show up, I will cleanse the world of human emotion all by myself"

You shook from afar, afraid of how he wouldn't hesitate to make his threat a reality. He had already taken so much– you were beyond mad at him. You were terrified. Wronged. Abused. You didn't want to step into the light. Much worse, step into his shadow.

The worst thing evil can do is to turn you into one of them.

He clutched the bloodied yellow scarf in his hands tightly.

Why did this happen?

How did things END up like this?

IV. Depression.

You took a deep breath and charged forward.

You don't trust [Wanderer] ever since Ryoji told him about the impending apocalypse.

Seldom do you leave the Velvet Room. You weren't hiding in the Velvet room months before the end of the world was imminent. When April had only reached its fourth day, there was nothing you wanted more than to spend time outside. So ignominiously innocent. You did not know who [Wanderer] was and how much effect he would have on your life at the time. You were just tired of the ongoing stream of uneventfulness.

And now here you are, berating the protagonist in full.

"[Wanderer], why is Ryoji missing?! US ATTENDANTS CAN'T FIND TRACK HIM ANYWHERE!!!"

With a fistful of his university uniform, you yanked him by the collar. Your eyes were livid as you reeled your composure. This wasn't what you had in mind when you were "isekai"d into a video game. Out of any game, why did it have to be Persona 3? And out of anyone that could be a protagonist, why did it have to be HIM?!

You thought this would be a grand affair... Whatever they spun in anime back when your reality existed were pure lies. Where are the scenic views? The mountains? The grasslands? This plane of existence you're forced to sit through for eternity was far from the RPG fantasy people would hope for. No closer you could ever be to paradise.

In fact, this man is threatening to ruin said paradise.

[Wanderer] pulled your hands away forcefully. His glare was not that different from yours. "Why do you care about him so much?"

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe it's because his death means forgetting everything?!" You clenched your empty fists. "You know damn well what happens if he dies! You'll lose all the help you can get to stopping the Fall!"

Such a heavy weight on your shoulders but the protagonist doesn't care. This may be a turn-based game– but it wasn't based on you. If it was, you wouldn't be screaming your heart out at him! You wouldn't be an NPC. Hell, you'd probably be a better protagonist than him.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and sighed every stress out of your system.

"Listen—" You rubbed your temple. "You need to start forming bonds. Social links. Support system. Confidants. Whatever you want to call it. You were supposed to have the answer by now as to what life is for."

[Wanderer] remained silent throughout your spiels. His facial expression alone was enough to infer immense disinterest. You were mindlessly doing your job. There will be no tirade or physical aggression that can convince him that you believe in your assertions with full conviction.

"Do you want to see him?"

"Yes! Of course. Knowing you, you're—"

"Tempted to kill him because you think I want the world to end?"

"Obviously."

That's where you're wrong.

A nihilistic man can have other reasons to commit murder.

"But if he's missing, you can forget about him, right?"

"What on earth are you talking about?!"

[Wanderer] turned around. "Meet me later, you know the time."

"I'll show you where Ryoji is."

III. Bargaining.

XX/09/2009

He doesn't recall the time he was brought into this world like you had.

Puppets are malleable. Memories are easy to overwrite when your body is held together by white wood and "khemia". His past evades him.

Maybe it's better this way.

He took you to Chagall Café. Although it was your first time out in a long while, he had no qualms about ignoring your questions. He feigned deafness as you asked about the news, his college life, friends, or anything related to what was happening in 2009. And he even ignored your humble request to buy the cheapest coffee for you. Instead, he bought you a chocolate frappe.

"For Elizabeth's cutest little sibling." He said, sarcastically copying Elizabeth's tone as he sharply handed the drink. "Wouldn't want everyone's darling to get a caffeine addiction."

Thanks, asshat.

Of all his offensive behavior— he really spent more money just to insult you. You shook your head and accepted it. It's the most expensive one on the menu too. What dedication to being a hater. But before you could open your wallet, he shot your payment down.

"Just take it." He smirked. "Look at you, paying me back for treating you poorly. Are you a masochist?"

You immediately shoved your money back in. "You still bought me a free drink, so really, who's the loser here? Prick."

[Wanderer] laughed heartily before he pulled out his battered codal, which had underlined texts for provisions he deemed important. There was a momentary softness in his gaze that disappeared in an instant.

But that's the only conversation he planned on having that evening. He did mention he'll drag you out in his study session so you weren't too shocked by it. Instead, you sat and awkwardly people-watched. The world you came from and this one were identical. You got through your old 2009 just fine— it's just that Tatsumi Port Island was not a real location from your original Japan.

Your memories about the video game Persona aren't very clear since you reincarnated in the game, but the red band [Wanderer] wore on his sleeve affirmed that he is the leader of S.E.E.S. It's nice to know that someone like him has the potential to become a leader.

[Wanderer] appeared wholly immersed in his studies.

…

Maybe he wouldn't notice if you looked around—

…?!

He immediately grabbed your hand. You yelped slightly as you noticed the iron grip he had.

"Where are you going?"

Don't leave him.

He squeezed just a bit more tightly.

"W-What the— I'm just going to the bathroom." You felt a shiver down your spine as you shared his gaze. There's a dull coldness to it you couldn't quite place, as if he had been a witness to injustice, sevenfold.

You quietly sat back down. He still hasn't let go of your hand.

"Good riddance." He muttered.

"If it isn't [Wanderer]!"

You turned around, yanking your hand away.

It's Ryoji.

You stood up, gawking.

"W-Woah, are you okay?" Ryoji asked, hurriedly approaching you. While you were frozen in place, [Wanderer] looked at his empty hand, feeling your warmth escape his fingertips.

G-Good… he's still alive.

You thought [Wanderer] killed him.

[Wanderer] is the wildcard, and that's a terrifying factor to consider. He hasn't shown any interest in humanity. Knowing his past has not increased any hope on your end. Everyone else in his eyes are insignificant insects.

He has the power to end Ryoji.

He has the power to end this world.

Locked and loaded.

Ryoji's eyes softened. "Wait, I think I know a beautiful face like yours from somewhere… You must be [Wanderer]'s attendant, (Y/n), right?"

You blinked.

"Wait, how did you…"

He chuckled, taking and placing a soft kiss on your gloved hands.

"I have my ways." Ryoji winked.

"Don't touch them." [Wanderer] sneered.

Ryoji stood up straight, unfazed by his threatening tone. You took a moment to examine his appearance. He had a lot of white clothing and a big yellow scarf around his neck. Just below his left eye is a mole. On the surface, he appeared quite human, but everyone seated at this table was aware of his true nature.

He is the 13th arcana. The appraiser.

You and [Wanderer] have every right to be wary.

"I'm Ryoji Mochizuki. It's nice to be officially introduced to you, Mx. (Y/n)."

"Ryoji Mochizuki…" You tasted the syllables.

"Oh? Who knew hearing my name from your lips makes it sound so wonderful."

"C-Cut it out, you don't mean that." You said, a little flustered.

[Wanderer]'s gaze fixated on you, stewing in his concoction of envy and misery. His fists were clenched beneath the table, knuckles turning white. With narrowed eyes, he watched as you continued engaging in conversation with Ryoji. His laughter was grating his ears. He couldn't bear the sight of you engaging with another man, especially someone as flirtatious as him.

Ryoji, sensing [Wanderer]'s distress, shot him a casual glance. To top the look, he paired it with a knowing smirk. He made mental notes of the man's clenched jaw and tensed shoulders.

"You seem a little on edge, [Wanderer]. Finals coming up?" He feigned innocence.

"It's December, and I'm not on edge." He scoffed, trying not to make his gritted teeth evident. "Don't you own a calendar? Finals are in March. To think a pea-brain like you managed to transfer to Gekkan…"

"Right, right." Ryoji smiled, closing his eyes. "Then it must be my proposal you're thinking of."

You stiffened; [Wanderer] did not.

"Ryoji—"

"I know, Mx. (Y/n)." He started. "I know you're not too keen on the idea of killing me. My existence is the affirmation of the Fall. None of you— sorry, I forgot (Y/n) is from the Velvet room— I meant none of them will live till Spring… Or perhaps it's more accurate to say they'll forfeit the will to live."

…

"… I-I'm sorry." Ryoji buried his face in his yellow scarf. There's a certain tremble in his voice that truly emphasizes his sorrow. "Just as all living things die, the flow of time cannot be hindered. But there's comfort in killing me. If you do… you won't have to suffer for the coming days."

If [Wanderer] kills Ryoji, Tartarus, the Dark Hour— the burden of everyone's memories will all disappear.

But [Wanderer] can retain his.

He's not originally from this world after all…

However, should he let him live, the rest of S.E.E.S's life will continue until everyone's inevitable demise.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

[Wanderer] rolled his eyes, diverting his eyes back to his notes. "Everyone will die soon, who cares? I've heard your spiel several times already. You need to get more entertaining material."

"[Wanderer]!" You scolded him.

Your eyes widened in disbelief at [Wanderer]'s unwittingly casual jabs at the apocalypse. You wanted to ask him if he was even listening, but the truth will disappoint you. A cold sweat formed on your brow.

Ryoji's smile crooked into a hopeless one.

"You depend on (Y/n) too much."

[Wanderer] froze. "What did you say…?"

"You have a group of people around you, eager to establish a bond— eager to be friends with you. You have met Junpei, Yukari, Mitsuru, Akihiko, Fuuka, and many others– but you don't consider any of them as your friends." Ryoji shook his head. "Instead, you spend your time with just (Y/n). Never anyone else. Just them. To the point that I think it's unhealthy."

"I don't care for humans." He replied immediately.

"You're human too, [Wanderer]." Ryoji shot back. "You're made of blood, bones, and flesh."

[Wanderer] fell silent. What Ryoji said was true, and yet…

"Am I?" He laughed.

The sound was hollow and mechanical. Deprived of genuine mirth. It did not sound forced, yet his eyes were dull.

…

Perhaps he lived as a puppet for so long that the idea of being human has yet to reach him.

Ryoji shifted, uncomfortably glancing between you two. The tension was palpable despite the cafe's peaceful ambiance. Ryoji cleared his throat softly.

"I should leave…" He trailed off, voice slightly wavering. His eyes darted around, scrambling for words to say. "But, um, before I leave, I just want to say again that you need to give it some more thought, [Wanderer]... It's a big deal… Just…"

Ryoji sighed. "Remember to make your choice to spare or kill me by December 31st. I'm glad you're having fun but don't get too distracted with (Y/n). I'll be waiting."

That being said, his footsteps reverberated loudly in the otherwise still room as he turned and headed for the door. He dared to turn back as he grabbed for the doorknob and saw you two sharing a look that he couldn't determine if it was one of contemplation or displeasure. He hurried out and the cafe door shut behind him.

"Happy?" [Wanderer] bitterly asked.

You paused for a moment… then grinned.

"Tsk, what are you laughing at, worm?"

"Nothing, nothing!" You shrugged. "I just thought that for a guy with a stick up his ass, you're cute when you're jealous."

That riled [Wanderer] up in an instant.

You do not know the full extent of his envy's filth.

"I am NOT—" He stopped, realizing how counterproductive it would be. "Whatever. I don't care."

"Uhuh?"

"Shut up and finish your damn chocolate!"

II. Anger.

Before you know it, it's April.

"Seriously, you three, I'm bored as fuck! Can't I just take a stroll outside?" You yelled, waving the heavy persona compendium in the air as your sisters ignored you.

It hasn't been long since you reincarnated, so your right to go outside isn't as liberal. Given the impending threat of an apocalypse, the Velvet Room attendants are especially overprotective.

"(Y/n), dear sibling, watch your mouth! You mustn't let Igor or Nameless hear you speak so vulgarly."

Taking a good look at your new "siblings", you've noticed how almost everyone was present. Margaret sat elegantly on the sofa while Theodore & Elizabeth were doing their best to calm you down. It's almost rare to have all three in one place. The three oldest were busy-bodies who had more eccentric matters they devoted their attention to. Including rapping and dancing, though neither performances are good for your senses.

"If boredom plagues you, then you should try teasing Theodore." Elizabeth yawned. "He's easy pickings."

"Sister!" Theodore pouted. "Shouldn't (Y/n) focus on studying how fusing works? It would be a better use of their time…"

"The day (Y/n)'s new wildcard learns the value of social links might just be the day miserly politicians become generous." Elizabeth shrugged.

You paled, tugging her sleeve. "Oh fuck… Am I screwed?"

She gave you a lopsided smile. "I may be your new sibling but that does not mean I am obliged to resolve your problems, (Y/n). Learn to solve this on your own."

Theodore coughed.

"Please, stop scaring them, sister Elizabeth. It's not their fault this new guest is a cruel arbiter. I fear there will not be a second of groundless joy in store for them…"

"You're not helping me relax either! Motherfucker. Can't you two speak normally?"

"Settle down, all of you."

The four of you stood straight as Igor tilted his chin up. Though you've gotten used to his bloodshot gaze, it had a way of prickling your skin this time around. With his signature smile, he closed his eyes and snapped his fingers.

"Our guest is about to enter."

"W-Wait, RIGHT NOW?!?"

Before you could react, the room transformed into what appeared to be a large elevator. The walls were barred and creaking noises began to subtly make their presence. A floating door materialized, and soon, opened.

Dark purple hair and eyes, short frame, soft face.

"…Hmm?"

You blinked.

"Wait, no way…"

You know him.

Of course, you know him.

"Everyone, meet [Wanderer]."

You decided that you two should reintroduce yourselves and forget that the past ever happened.

For now, you had been gifted with a vital role: being the protagonist's attendant.

According to your Igor, your role is to assist your guest in fusing personas. He had chosen you specifically in advance as you are his "anima/animus figure". Initially, that job was for Elizabeth. However, your beliefs, your intuition, your emotions— they're in perfect tune with [Wanderer]. Igor expects you to facilitate their spiritual and psychological growth and implore them to interact more with others.

Which, based on that alone, sounds like this puppet just hired an unpaid therapist.

"What do you want?"

"Well…"

Since you became [Wanderer]'s attendant, you've started to have thicker skin. He will always make his crankiness known each visit. You're slightly grateful for it, for how else would you know patience otherwise? Though his personality rubs you the wrong way, his strength does have merits you cannot ignore. Even Belladona, the Velvet Room's devout singer, had sung praises for his mettle. There was one line that struck you about her song, something about him being like a puppet with a beating heart unbeknownst to himself…

Which is why you thought you might as well try to see if you could convince him to take you out sometimes.

"What, like a date?" [Wanderer] scoffed then smirked, a light blush on his face. "Are you really that desperate?"

"No, eww—" You rolled your eyes. "I meant it literally. Igor and the others wouldn't let me go outside unless I'm with someone they trust."

He looked away and covered his mouth, his shoulders trembling slightly.

"Like a child?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up." You deadpanned, your pride slightly chipped. "Like a child or whatever you want to see it, as long as it gets me out of here. I just want to see the world before it all…"

You paused.

Better not to bring it up. You're not sure if Igor told him yet.

[Wanderer] raised an eyebrow. "What's in it for me?"

You shrugged. "Is money not enough?"

He paused.

…

"You've got to be kidding me— Fine, what else do you want?"

His eyelids lowered, hissing slightly. "Evil expects evil from others, huh? I wasn't trying to think of anything more, but now that I think about it…"

"Oh, great."

"… I can take your request," he pointed at you. "But only if you join me in the library. Anywhere else, especially loud places like clubs, I'll send your ass back."

That's a no-brainer.

"Deal!"

Though you've missed the peculiar sight, [Wanderer] had a small smile on his face as you shook hands. The two of you had become nearly inseparable since then.

Worryingly, he's closer to you than other humans.

The only relationship he needed was with you.

And with what little time this world has left, you hope you could have a last cup of coffee with him…

I. Denial.

Your reality crumbled. What a START.

Your family, friends... all gone. No one was left. You convince yourself you "deserved" this punishment for smoking a life away with dreadful workloads, no matter how untrue it was. When the world burnt down, you were sent into a darkness you had not known before.

The person in charge of your reincarnation process told you that for the next few minutes, you and a selected companion will see your lives flash before your eyes in a void— and it will not necessarily be a comforting sight.

But you woke up relaxed. In an abyss filled with broken mirrors meant to depict your character to pieces, you donned a plain expression. There was not an inch of you that grieved for what was lost. Similarly, you had no care for how you were being transmigrated to another realm. Though you had grown accustomed to this isolation, humanity always struggled with silence. There was ringing on your fingers. When you unclasped your hands, you saw a pointed shard. Curiously, you clenched it. But no matter the tightness of your grip, no blood came out.

Your breath fogged up the glass. You wondered why that Memokeeper told you that you deserve to live on. You thought your life was rather unremarkable.

Makes sense. You thought to yourself. I'd rather pride myself on a boring life with integrity than an ambitious yet fraudulent one.

「Assignments. Commute. Study. Review. Assignments. Commute. Study. Review. Was that all your life was...? Then tell me, little (Y/n), why does the mirror in front of you appear distorted?」

And so, you gazed forward. Your reflection stood tall, larger than your life, and it beckoned you to come closer. This "(Y/n) (L/n)" had the opposite of a Cheshire grin- perhaps a caricature- perhaps an accurate depiction. Wearied of yourself and wearied of the sycophantic students around you. How unhappy are you to see yourself as someone like this? Are these the emotions you wish to be preserved? Is this the memory you want your world to be remembered by?

「These memories must be corrupted. Someone must be tampering with them. I do not think you lived a miserable life.」

I can't answer your questions either. But I think that reflection is who I am, because sometimes...

"I wish I had never been born at all."

Your lips were parted, but no sound came out. You resonated with those words, but they did not come from you. The voice was dark, hopeless, and alone.

When you were being sent off, you thought no one was around to greet you. There was another man. He had short hair and purple eyes- an incredibly rare sight in your world. This man seemed to be gazing at his reflection as well. You needn't know how he saw himself. The emptiness in his eyes did not differ from yours. He, too, was masking isolation as independence with an intense fragility. The dread he inflicted upon you was the closest you've ever gotten to facing your own perceived "weakness".

His memories were a mixbag. Some were filled with domestic bliss, but the anger in his heart triumphed more. He had friends but thought himself betrayed. His heart was constructed through a system of evasions, and he was a specialist in self-deception. This man knew little of emotions but had an abundance of it. It's no wonder he refused to sacrifice the artistry of his vengeance against humanity. You can sympathize with how he could not attach himself to those around him. He was burdened with malicious knowledge. Fakes. Lies. Insincerities. A class of his own.

However, he had a sin you cannot empathize with. A trait you can read that you're certain he had never noticed about himself.

He was a sickeningly beautiful man with a peculiar innocence.

He looked like a man who truly did not live in the real world.

This man did not feel real to you. He felt made-up. Fictional. His aura of flawlessness appalled you. Though you shared the same sentiments, you thought him dimensionless.

Yet this is supposedly your first meeting.

「Is it? Where have you seen him before? Can't you remember, dear (Y/n)?」

No. No, I can't.

「... What a shame. Worry no more, little (Y/n). Close your eyes. When you wake up, you will meet your new reality— new realm— new family.」

You nodded and agreed to a higher existence you did not believe in. Unlike others, you were a little bit more incapable of trusting a living soul. But there's no other choice.

Life is ordinarily far from anyone's control in the first place. Why bother fighting? If following can make her fuck off, it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

Wait…

Is that…

Scaramouche?

Before you closed your eyes and accepted your fate, you could've sworn...

He looked at you with a crooked grin.

「Thou art I... And I am thou...

Thou hast established a new bond...

Thou shalt be blessed when creating

Personas of the Universe Arcana..."」

"Hmm. Strange… Is that truly the order of the story?"

A woman stared at you.

Not (Y/n) (L/n).

YOU.

BEHIND.

THE.

SCREEN.

She smiled wryly.

Hate might empower you for a short while, but it comes at the cost of consuming you whole. Should a shard or any surface reflect [Wanderer]'s face, he would understand what he had become. However, it's too late. He had made his choice and stomped away any remorse he could have. When all is said and done, he alone will spread the ashes. He alone will stand. A blank slate.

[Wanderer] spent his life looking for scapegoats and ended up removing his responsibility.

Betrayals?

What a sad, sad puppet.

What a poor excuse to justify an entire apocalypse.

A poor excuse of a man.

"THE ARCANA IS THE MEANS BY WHICH ALL IS REVEALED." She muttered softly. "And you have been reading your story in REVERSE. Perhaps this is the only way this world can attain SALVATION. The chronological order is not a slice of life. You did not have a disagreement and decided to start your relationship over again. Life is far more WICKED."

"Read it again, but from DENIAL to ACCEPTANCE. The proper way to GRIEVE DEATH."

With great reluctance, she took the five cards laid on the table and placed them in an upright position.

"Let's see if you'd rather ACCEPT the truth or live in DENIAL."

Mixed-Kester can now message Wanderer [prior to 12/31/2009]

[melliae]

The Last Boss in Persona 3

This is more of a continuation to my previous post (in Tumblr, here) about the meaning behind the Universe arcana. This post will follow the same main idea of my previous one: to analyze the meaning of final boss within the series through using esoteric and psychoanalitical concepts.

Now, before analyzing everything, it'll be better to first summarize the final boss' lore:

“The mother of all Shadows and bringer of death since ancient times. If she awakens, ‘the Fall’ will occur.” - Persona 3 Portable (I wanted to use the japanese version, but I haven’t found any perfect save for P3P/FES in japanese, or a ISO for Vanilla)

That’s almost everything that the game says in relation to what Nyx is, and it’s just a repetition of what Ryoji explained in December. There’s some interesting comments the cultists give during January, like how it “will change the flow of causality” or is an “Absolute Will” (“普遍の意志”, or “Universal/Omnipresent Will”), but their nature is obviously biased. It’s not until the release of the P3 Club Book that its lore becomes clearer, and which I’m going to summarize as it follows:

Nyx” is not actually called “Nyx”, but it’s a nameless entity classified as some sort of “Star Eater” that, eons ago and in a dormant state, crashed against the hadean earth (4.5 billions of years ago).

Due to both its dormant state and it’s strange material composition, existing between “mass and information” (similar to the Velvet Room), both the earth and the Star Eater survived the impact, but not without consequences: a lot of the earth’s matter came off and covered the Eater’s body, creating the moon – the Persona version of the “giant impact theory”.

However, that’s only in regards to the body, because its psyche got separated from the body and “flooded” earth’s surface, putting at risk the existing, but primitive life (ie. amoebas) on it due to its anathemic nature.

Life, driven completely by its instinct to survive, sealed the psyche within themselves, limiting their lifespan (ie. creating death) as well as allowing their psychological development, ending in both the creation of consciousness and the collective unconscious.

As you can see, there’s a good reason Nyx is called the “maternal entity”: its very own soul is what allowed the birth of humanity and all forms of complex life, explaining why it was named “Nyx” by the Kirijos – just as the greek deity give birth to all sort of deities that shape the human experience, the Star Eater made possible its existence. The same applies to its title as “mother of Shadows”, because its psyche wasn’t only sealed within the depths of the collective unconscious by life’s drive to live, but also became an essential part of the human soul as well: their Shadow. So it’s not that “she” is the mother of Shadows, but that Shadows are Nyx, and we all know how important they are.

“The Shadows we hold in our psyches themselves are not just mere prisoners, but have become an essential part of the inner structure of our minds. Without a Shadow, a mind - especially one as highly complex as that of a human being - cannot function properly and ceases to work, as if it had been lost entirely.” – Ikutsuki, P3 Club Book

“What I released from the Trapezohedron just now was the half of that woman that could not come to life until now: her complexes, her emotional trauma–her suppressed Shadow, if you will. And you learned on the other side what happens should you kill the mind’s Shadow, didn’t you? How ironic that it was all of you who made her this way.” - The Faceless God (Nyarlathotep’s Avatar), Tatsuya’s Scenario (referencing Yukino’s end if her Shadow jumps into the abyss).

“If we erase a Palace, there is no doubt that the person’s distorted desires will be erased as well. But desires are what we all need in order to survive. The will to sleep, eat, fall in love–those sort of things. [...] If all those yearnings were to vanish, they’d be no different than someone who was shut entirely. They may even die if they’re not given care.” - Morgana, Persona 5

The shadow men, apathy syndrome, mental shutdowns, and psychotic breakdowns… All of them are manifestations of what happens when the Shadow of an individual is disturbed or destroyed: the collapse of the individual psyche or soul. That means it’s equally valid to affirm Nyx is the origin of both all Shadows and souls in the series, becoming even clearer when see how the personality module of the anti-shadow weapons, their “papillion heart”, is made out of plumes of dusk, crystalline fragments of Nyx’s body. This is further strengthened by Sho Minzauki’s second personality, born out of the plume implanted on his brain, and Metis as the Shadow of Aigis, bearing the name of Athena’s mother and her Persona being the embodiment of the soul in greek mythos.

It’s easy to see, then, that Nyx is not just “another god” (without the intention to diss Izanami, Yaldabaoth and the rest), but a primordial aspect of the life’s collective psyche (ie. the unconscious). That’s why it’s called the “Universal/Absolute Will”, for “she” is all around life and humanity, being the “ground of being” from which all their potentials come from, for even the very own power of Persona is nothing but something derived from the “small Nyx” acting as the foundation of one’s psyche. Even the capability to alter space-time and reality inherent to life is derived from it, even in Tadashi’s trilogy.

“Mitsuru: These people are Persona Users who appeared in “Megami Ibunroku Persona”, “Persona 2: Innocent Sin” and “Persona 2: Eternal Punishment”. As far as we can see from what’s been shown on television, they seem to be living peaceful lives right now. [...] Akihiko: Still, those guys are Persona Users, right? They have the potential, yet I haven’t heard anything about people like that trying to help out with the things that have been happening here in the Minato Ward… Mitsuru: Well, you have to consider that not all of them might be Persona Users any longer. [...] According to the staff, in our game, the “Value of Life” is defined by the sudden changes in time and space that our wills can bring about. We’ve already explained that Shadows have the ability to manipulate space-time, so the same might be true for those they dwell in, us living beings.” - P3 Club Book

“From the first, people have had a tremendous power in their souls over the flow of reality. [...] Yes… The power that created your world is the same as your inner strength… In this collective unconsciousness, it’s possible.” - Philemon, Innocent Sin.

Even the plumes of dusk, and thus the body of Nyx, have the same properties to alter reality, and emit readings similar to “living beings” despite being deadly to life on earth.

While it’s pretty clear how encompassing Nyx's lore and nature is, it’s important to keep in mind that most of this, at some level, was implied or said by the games. Side material like the Club Book just clarifies what was shown in the Journey, the Answer and even Arena. So now, it’s time to really analyze the beast this eldritch abomination is.

The Golden Egg

Now, it’s just common sense to begin with the mythological foundation of the games: greek mythology, and in particular Orphism, a branch which acted as a mystery (ie.secret) cult mythological founded by Orpheus. It preached, in basic terms, about the findings of the poet after he returned to the land of the living with wisdom about the nature of the world, its cycle of death and rebirth, and how to break from it.

It’s unknown if there’s a cycle of reincarnation in Persona, but we know there may be a similar thing based on Enlil’s quote of how “humans have learned nothing from the cycle of destruction and rebirth” during her second phase. There’s something similar in PQ, where Zen described the “providence of the world” (ie. the collective unconscious), and in the Club Book, about how the unconscious created an archetypal tale between demons and gods to protect the human soul from Nyx’s influence. However, that’s not that relevant, with our focus being more on the creation myth of the cult:

“Similarly, in connection with the raven as the name for this situation, we must consider the creative night mentioned in an Orphic hymn, which calls it a bird with black wings that was fertilized by the wind (pneuma). The product of this union was the silver egg, which in the Orphic view contained heaven above and earth below, and was therefore a cosmos in itself, i.e., the Microcosm.” - Mysterium Coniunctionis.

Within the context of cosmogonical eggs, the hindu hiranyagarbha can also be rescued, described by Jung as “the collective aggregate of all souls”. The relation between these two eggs and Nyx as the “mother of all” is quite obvious, but more important is the fact that its core is a giant, golden egg… cracked – the universe has already been born. But as I wrote in my previous post and as implied by the hiranyagarbha, the universe born out of Nyx is equal to the collective unconscious and thus humanity, harking back to other traditions in which the archetypal man is born out of an egg.

Since we now know what Nyx gave birth to the collective soul of life after “she cracked” or crashed against earth, we must ask what was it like before it crashed:

“The phenomenology of the "child's" birth always points back to an original psychological state of non-recognition, i.e., of darkness or twilight, of non-differentiation between subject and object, of unconscious identity of man and the universe. This phase of non-differentiation produces the golden egg, which is both man and universe and yet neither, but an irrational third.” - Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious

Quite self-explanatory, don’t you think so? It even explains why Nyx is an “alien Star Eater”, for its true nature is what lies in the state before the separation of “heaven and earth”, before the divide between unconsciousness and consciousness. This liminal state is even reflected in its body which exists as both information/thought and matter at the same time, in-between the physical moon and the deepest abyss of the Sea of Souls as per Elizabeth’s route in Arena (“最も深淵なる場所だ”), or how even the Club Book describes its main body as “neither organic nor inorganic” ("有機物とも無機物とも判断しかねる外見である") – completely undifferentiated.

Naturally, this brings out to the mind the jewish associations established by the Club Book and the P3xP4 Analyze, about how Tartarus represents both the seven earths Adam wandered after being expelled out of Eden and the Sephirot that comprise the kabbalistic tree of life respectively, the two symbols for the development of consciousness out of the primitive, undifferentiated unconsciousness, which even Soejima noted. The Star Eater, as the one above Tartarus, becomes equal to Paradise and the unconscious godhead, the Ein Sof, from which the tree, synonymous with the archetypal man and universe, grows out, thus being one with the deepest layer of the Sea, as previously commented.

If you remember the confrontation with its Avatar, how “he” uses the narrative of the tree of knowledge to explain the arcanas, it adds another layer to its meaning: the fruit of knowledge is a very obvious metaphor for the birth of consciousness, but also one for the Shadows as well, with both ultimately causing the birth of death (or the awareness about it). This means Nyx, as the sum of all Shadows, is the tree of knowledge and death, which makes it equal to the tree of life and archetypal man, with even Tartarus being compared to the “corpse of god being (hanged) upside-down” in the Analyze book.

“七つの地” は神をシンボライズした “セフィロトの樹” と上下逆向きで対応しており、テベルは根本の基礎部分にあたる “イェンド” に相当する。” “The “seven earths” correspond to the Tree of the Sefirot, which symbolized God upside-down, with Thebel corresponding to “Yesod”, being the root of the foundations.”

And according to the same source, Tartarus is made out of Shadows and the psychic stratum of humanity:

“これは、タルタロスが基本的にはシャドウと同じ精神体によって構成されているからで、言ってみればその場所の記憶のようなものが構造に反映された結果そうなったもの。同様にタルタロス自体の内部構造も精神体からできたもので、タルタロス構造に取り込まれた精神体の記憶のようなものが反映されている” “This is thanks to Tartarus being fundamentally composed by the same psychic nature of Shadows, as if the memories of the research facility were reflected into the structure so to speak. Similarly, the internal structure of Tartarus itself is made up of such psychic substance, and as such it’s as if the memories of that substance were reflected and taken in by Tartarus’ architecture.”

So more reason to think Nyx, in essence, was the preconscious state of humanity and life before it crashed. It’s the unknown, unconscious godhead in which there is no difference between object and subject, acting as its own “universal individual” in a dormant, sleeping state. It’s pure coincidentia oppositorum.

Joining Opposites

“Nyx” means “night, and the night (along with darkness, dusk and many others) is one of the de facto symbols of the unconscious, along with the underworld (Tartarus). The moon being another symbol of the same thing just further confirms the Star Eater is the unconscious or it’s in an unconscious state. However, pure unconsciousness it’s not what only Nyx has to offer, for someone deeply related to it also exists: its avatar, Death, also known as Pharos.

Pharos’ name is a quite interesting, because in japanese is written as “ファルロス”, mixing both the katakana for “ファルス”, or “phallus”, and “ファロス”, or “pharos (of Alexandria)”. There’s no need to comment the masculine nature of the first word, but it has to be done in regards to the second one and its double nature, since the pharos of Alexandria acts as an obvious masculine symbol thanks to its phallic form, and as a symbol of consciousness due to the light it emits. That’s to say, Pharos is the conscious and masculine counterpart to Nyx’s actual state; Ryoji, with his casanova attitude and yellow scarf, reinforces the concept.

Now, all of that means that, just as expected, the original state of Nyx was androgynus in nature – both female and male at the same time. Some remains of this can also be seen in its core, golden and solar in nature despite being within the moon, and obviously harks back to another quote of Jung:

“The moon with her antithetical nature is, in a sense, a prototype of individuation, a prefiguration of the self: she is the “mother and spouse of the sun, who carries in the wind and the air the spagyric embryo conceived by the sun in her womb and belly.” This image corresponds to the psychologem of the pregnant anima, whose child is the self, or is marked by the attributes of the hero.” - Mysterium Coniunctionis.

Such an image is alchemical in nature, describing the nature of “Queen Luna” (a symbol for both the feminine essence of nature and Nyx) as the mother and partner of “King Sol” (the masculine essence, and in this case Death), who ultimately join in matrimony to achieve the “philosophical stone” – oneness with the world. I doubt I have to explain how the Fall acts as the “shadow” of such a process, ending with the death of all living beings. Though it’s also interesting how is related to the Avatar as such, whom only isn’t only found at the top of Tartarus or “tree of death”, meaning it acquired the same dignity as all other mythological primal humans, but it’s also androgynous in appearance – both feminine and masculine natures are necessary for wholeness, be it conscious or unconscious.

By that matter, the protagonist acts as both “Queen Luna” (gray eyes, pretty boy, “death was inside him”, and Messiah being completely white) and “King Sol”, for he, as “Orpheus”, enters into Nyx’s “eye” in an scene eerily reminiscent of what Jung wrote:

“The “eye” evidently stands for the female genitals, as is clear from the myth of Indra, who, as a punishment for his wantonness, was smitten with yonis all over his body, but was so far pardoned by the gods that the shameful yonis were changed into eyes. The little image reflected in the eye, the “pupilla,” is a “child.” The great god becomes a child again: he enters into the mother’s womb for self-renewal.” - Symbols of Transformation.

Yep… But at any rate, returning to the Avatar, his speech about the arcanas returns once again, since it includes all the arcanas from the Fool to Death, passing through the twelve intermediary ones, with each one representing one of the “hours” within a clock. This implies the Fool and Death stand outside of the cycle of time somehow, and since the Fool it’s the “beginning of life” as per Edogawa’s lecture on japanese, it’s not surprising to connect the card with an infant… like Pharos – Death itself.

Within the Avatar and Nyx the entire cycle of life is described, where both the beginning and end life become one to form a ring, a circle that can be described better as the Universe or World itself, as the Analyze book says:

“最後に発現する “世界” あるいは “宇宙” のタロットには、卵のような形のウロボロスの輪に囲まれた女性の姿が描かれている [...] 二ュクスの中心核は、そのウロボロスの形にも似ている透明な輝く卵の姿をしていた” “In regards to the final manifestation of the “World” or “Universe” tarot card, a feminine figure encircled in an egg-shaped ouroboros ring is depicted. [...] The shining, translucent egg acting as Nyx’s core resembles the shape of the ouroboros as well.”

More telling, the core, despite being the cosmic egg and having the light of creation (or “libido”, the name put by Jung to describe “psychic energy”), only uses “Death” to attack.

The Forgotten Godhead

What you are seeing is one of the first mandalas Jung created during his schizophrenia visions in 1916 or so. It’s called “systema munditotius” or “system of all worlds”, for it represents the psychic activity of all human beings at some level. It’s full of details and the like, but the more important things for now is the vertical axis, beginning with the golden egg with a human at the top, and ending with the lion-headed serpent at the bottom.

The first figure, the egg, represent the future, collective “imago dei” of humanity, the next symbol for the Self that has yet to be born and that Jung called “Phanes”, the primordial being born out of the cosmic egg within orphic myths, embodiment of existence itself and husband, father and/or son of Nyx. The second figure, the serpent or “Abraxas”, represents the past and present “imago dei”, a symbol reminiscent of the Demiurge and a bastardization of the christian god, having both a monster and a caterpillar, the promises of death and life, by its sides, and the tree of life rooted on its head (or mind)

If you begin to think, it becomes obvious what’s the relationship between the Star Eater and those two figures: It’s both. Not only the Eater is both death and a “caterpillar”, since it’s the source of all souls which are represented by butterflies in the series (see the Papillion heart and Psyche), but it’s also the cosmic egg and thus Phanes (see Ryoji). It’s the unconscious self of all humanity, forgotten and fragmented, hanged upside-down, and to which everyone has to obey

“What the god-sun speaketh is life. What the devil speaketh is death. But Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness, in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible. [...] To look upon it, is blindness. To know it, is sickness. To worship it, is death. To fear it, is wisdom. To resist it not, is redemption.” - Seven Sermons to the Dead

For Abraxas, in its primitive and unconscious brutality, is life and its origin, the endless cycle of death and rebirth, just as the Star Eater holds the Fool and the Death as one and the same. They are the flow of time, the drive that created everything from the unconscious as the savage demiurge. They are the endless conflict of life.

But in its role as Phanes, as the yet-to-be born Self, the Star Eater is the promise and realization of all beings – their meaning. However, its core, its egg, is cracked, damaged and divided, and therefore the Self of all humanity is unable to be born yet. For that, the egg must be joined once again and understood, just like Philemon said in IS and Tatsuya’s Scenario, for the egg – the Star Eater – is life.

Such transformation, at an individual level, is masterfully shown with Death’s own journey, going from a shadowy, primitive and savage monster to a kid curious about the world, and then to a teenager which loves everything life can offer from the beginning, all thanks to the journey of the protagonist and all the memories he gained. Yet, such search for meaning wasn’t enough to stop the hopelessness and self-destructivity of the collective, of humanity’s and the godhead’s yearn to return to what they were once… but the protagonist didn’t give up on and, against all possibilities, created a miracle: he was able to give meaning to life and thus to death, instauring hope in the furthest depths of everyone’s hearts.

That’s the true meaning of death within the game. It’s not about merely physical death, but also psychological death, transformation and, ultimately, hope. Death and time are the drives for the endless change within the human soul, equally givers and takers of happiness and tragedy. And with life and light, they make up the totality of the universe we know, for they are one and the same, with the rejection of one meaning the rejection of the other.

Death it’s not only a unknown hunter, but also a part of oneself, and that it’s hopefully treated as a friend even in the worst times. After all, accepting death and life as parts of the whole, to accept that everything will come and go, your sadness and happiness, it’s the first step to break off from the endless cycle of suffering and conflict, of “evil demons and benevolent gods” that are naught but a part of the human soul.

Don’t forget life brims with joy, and that you should bring that same joy to death. Live a good death!

[xinghai]

Goro Akechi & Makoto Yuki

Just jotting down some similarities here. It's been a loooong while since I've played either game (and I still need to finish/play P5R and the answer), so I'm fuzzy on the details. But hyperfixation and special interest go brrrr

Both

Lost their caregiver at a young age (though akechi has additional bad dad angst)

At some point knowingly face the fact that their death is inevitable

Want to choose/fight for their own fate, despite this inevitability

Were unwanted as kids (Makoto being passed around d/t being an orphan and Akechi having no one afaik after his mom)

Not 100% sure on akechi, but both of them not being afraid of death because they feel their life doesn't have meaning

Fun interaction things

I mean, Makoto is no stranger to murder boys (hi Ryoji)

They're both kinda sorta dead sooo, limbo interactions? Idk how death in the persona universe works

Makoto's chill apathy/reserved nature vs akechi's outgoing/unhinged personality would be a fun dynamic

Depending on when they meet, Makoto's lack of fear for death vs akechi being a hitman/reaper figure

Since the wildcards give similar vibes, Makoto might remind Akechi of Joker

Is Makoto already dead by the time P5 happens? Yes but you can’t stop me.

[writers-reach]

Hello! Could i request headcanons for Junpei, Ryoji & Minato (seperate or togethers fine) with another member of sees (the reader) that's like a 'chickbro' to them? The idea came to my head so I thought why not :P

Have a nice day!

persona 3: one of da boys (junpei iori, ryoji mochizuki, & minato arisato)

notes: gn!reader, ryoji and minato can be read as romantic, no spoilers, platonic junpei

junpei iori

we already know how he is with his sl. loves to goof off, ropes you into doing dumb shit, but will fiercely defend you and your reputation like his life depends on it.

junpei comes from a shitty home, but after joining sees, he found people that he connects with and who accept him, and he wants you to be just the same. he wants to not only be the reason you smile, but to be a shoulder to cry on if need be

you two absolutely scheme to prank the other members of sees (though with junpei, your target is typically yukari)

bff dates to the arcade. you two get... scary competitive.

you are his number 1 hypeman when it comes to chidori. he'll go to you for romantic advice like "is this too cringey?" and you're all "nahh she'll love it!" even if it is a little cringey, they're just too cute <3

ryoji mochizuki

still flirts because dude can't keep it in his pants (regardless of gender i hc him as pansexual), but depending on if he susses out any romantic interest from you, he jokes around a bit more.

tries out pickup lines on you for feedback. some of them are good, some of them are so bad they're good, some are just... god awful. he's lucky he's pretty.

walks with you to and from school, sits next to you on the monorail, just hangs out in your presence a lot.

wants to try new things with you so bad!! new restaurants! that new bookshop that opened up! going to see that new movie that came out!!!!

probably is pretty touchy, but will back off if you tell him to. he's a gentleman, after all.

minato arisato

gamer bestie. will spend hours upon HOURS gaming with you, whether it be an mmorpg or something like mario party

you two have like, some kind of secret unspoken code (or, hell, telepathy) that allows you to communicate without speaking.

probably has a really complex secret handshake with you and you only because junpei got too confused to learn and ryoji just... bless his heart, he can't get it right

i hc that he does tarot readings for fun and will totally read your fortune, but will sometimes be a bit silly and completely misinterpret the results for a laugh.

i.e. "what does that mean for my future?" "oh you're gonna die a horrible death after eating spoiled food" "minato >:("

he brings out a more deadpan side of you, i bet

a/n: hope you like it!! since junpei/ryoji/minato are like, a bestie squad in canon, it's 100% implied that if you're friends with one, you're friends with the other two.

[ontosgold]

hi! first off i wanted to say that i love your art so much its so so pretty and secondly i was wondering, since youre like the ceo of ryomina, if you had any good ryomina fanfic recommendations ? :>

THANK YOU :D !! and hehe thank u for giving me the chance to ramble abt the two ryomina fics that have been consuming my brain lately (that are both written by my lovely fellow ryomina ceos <3)

first off !! the twilight wants him back by @chatlote

it's a canon divergent fix-it fic that takes place from november onwards featuring sees ryoji :> I think my favourite thing abt this fic is the way lina characterises both ryoji and makoto, like I genuinely adore how she writes them in this fic. both of their inner worlds feel so rich and detailed and i adore how the pov switches give us a look into makoto and ryoji's different outlooks !! seeing makoto and ryoji's different perspectives on the same events is so interesting and it adds so much depth of their interactions. it's been such a joy so far to watch those two slowly get to know each other while also exploring how makoto's dealing with everything he's experienced up until then (the way she shows how makoto's been dealing with loss is so. augh <3) and I'm so excited to see where this fic is headed ^_^ every update has me kicking my feet in excitement hehe

and then there's persephone's curse by @sweet-sirin

this fic took me on such an emotional rollercoaster that it hasn't stopped rolling around in my brain since I read it. it takes place post canon and if u know abt persephone than u can probably take a guess as to where this fic is going. I don't wanna say too much bcs I think this fic is best experienced knowing as little abt it as possible but its just a beautiful exploration of ryoji and makoto's characters and just how stubborn they can be in their own ways, especially ryoji. there's so many scenes in this fic that are just stuck in my brain. it felt like every single scene and every piece of dialogue has some sort of underlying/second meaning and it was a ride unpacking everything as I was reading. everything feels so purposeful and meaningful its just so. augh. it emotionally destroyed me and I don't think I'll ever recover <3 it'll live in a special corner of my brain forever

Also !! I haven't really gone down the ryomina fic rabbit hole myself yet so if you or anyone reading has some fic recs of their own please send them my way !! 🙏🙏

[dufferpuffer]

Ok anon from before here, you fully convinced me about lupin and tonks, makes total sense to me now and I love this interpretation! It also make lupin kinda a fuck boy with is pretty funny to me lol

Oh yeah. Remus doesn't sleep around the thought of intimacy terrifies him - but he has always been weak to the whims of others: either people-pleasing or running the fuck away. But he can't run from Tonks. And he doesn't want to. Shes so cool and nice and understanding and fun and gets him, really gets him...

IDK how old you are, I hope 16+ or whatever age of consent is where you are But have you ever like... gotten in a relationship with someone where you can just lose an entire weekend laying in bed with them...? Or a friend where you don't hear from them for days when the BF/GF is over - and you know they aren't doing anything much? Like Ryoji Kaji and Misato Katsuragi (Evangelion) when they were in college. A week of just smoking and snacks and sex. 'Oops I forgot to go to class again today'

That's the framework of Remadora and I don't take otherwise lol Picture this: Remus is weary after a bad Full Moon. Fatigued on a couch, groaning pathetically, wrapped in a blanket, bones hurt... He can't run from Tonks doting on him when she has time off: Fetching water, sprinkling snow on his feverish head semi-playfully. He tells her not to bother, to go do something else... but she is Tonks.

She is sweet and cheeky and charming. She is stubborn and bubbly and gentle... when he is at his worst she always cheers him up. Everything he does is right when its with her: Every joke he makes lands, every story he tells is interesting - she makes him feel like a professional flirt... somehow. How intoxicating it is, to have someone understand you effortlessly, to not have to work to feel accepted... No lies are necessary. No manipulations work. No masks fool.

Of course they end up close. Uncomfortable? Come to bed. She can probably even carry him there. Cold? She can warm him up. Snuggle up. Cut up and bruised? She can do ancient magic: kiss them better. He hurts? Well... there's easy ways to distract from the pain: He doesn't need to do much to be petted and sucked off. To relax.

And god - he feels guilty, as always. She's doing so much for him. So they kiss, they fuck - its easier to have sex when the pain is numbed a little by adrenaline and dopamine and a desire to please. ...And when the emotional high wears off he cries. He is MORE guilty. What has he done...? Has he just made a huge mistake again...? Tonk's doesn't think so - so she cares for him more. Soothes him. But that's how these things start.

Sex until they're both tired and dizzy, until they lay together sore and nap... waking up to chat, to talk about feelings and worries. Tonk's gets up to get him some water and makes herself a 'recreational' potion with her excellent Auror potion skills.

Remus doesn't do that sort of thing, but since she made it he takes a mouthful or two. Reminds him of the old days with his friends. He tells her Peter's was stronger, back in the day. Perhaps an addition of Shrivelfig...? High, giddy, comfortable but sore - they chat about what Hogwarts was like in the 70s, what it was like in the 80s... laugh about Severus as a student and as a teacher... talk about their houses, their common rooms, their friends... the differences between the two wars.

And they have more sex. Over and over. They keep interrupting each-other with affection, with touching and kissing and nakedness. They forget themselves. They forget the world. They aren't Remus Lupin the scarred Werewolf or Nymphadora Tonks the Auror: they are just together. They are their pasts and their present, their thoughts and their feelings and their heat and their sleep. Being together is just as comfortable as being alone... moreso, even.

They don't even notice it's been three whole days since they have had a proper meal. Since anyone else has seen either of them beyond a half-naked dash for a snack. Remus thinks he has been sneaky, that nobody knows. They know. (They just care less than he thinks they will - he thinks they will judge him, but all they wish is that he was quieter or used a silencing spell.) But eventually Rems recovers enough from the Full Moon to be useful again - and Moody needs Tonks to like... work.

The world becomes heavy again. Remus wonders what the hell he was THINKING... pulling a promising Auror from her mentor for so long, wasting her time with him like a couple of layabouts, risking infection - he knows his spit isn't contagious outside of the full moon but it still scares him. No. No no - while he has his health he will go and be as useful as he can - and push her away, till she forgets about him. But it hurts. He is addicted. Every night he curls up and wishes for her body heat with him, soothing his worries, numbing his thoughts... But he is toxic. Perhaps if he died in glory she could move on...

...You know. Like that. Remadora.

[wake-up-get-up-get-out-there]

Idk if you can actually date Aigis but everyone says she’s still in love with you regardless of gender, so I’m adding her 🤷🏽‍♀️ Same with Margie (and Theo since I know you can’t truly date the Attendants)

EDIT: FUCK I MEANT ELIZABETH NOT MARGIE

[crescentfool]

ryoji... ryoj..... RYOJI !!!!!!!!!!! 🤧

[moonrecalled]

figuring out how to bring rei back for threads without ruining the theme of pq... this is just me brainstorming atm, but!

i do like the concept of like... okay so rei learnt that her life had meaning because she managed to change people's lives (implied for the better), even if only a little bit, right? but there are likely a lot of people who feel that all they managed to accomplish in the world was making it worse. that perception they hold is probably not actually true, but it would be interesting if the collective souls/wishes of people like that managed to bring rei back into the world in order to like... fulfill their desire to change the world for the better through her??? almost like she's helping them ease their regrets through living for them.

idk if that makes any sense. or if it's healthy or fair. but like... it might be workable. idk why it'd be HER specifically who came back, unless it's something to do with her connection with chronos that allowed it to happen, or maybe she's a cognitive "copy" of rei instead and not actually the original?? or something.

i still feel a little unsatisfied with like... how she accepts her death and that her life had meaning as it was by the end of PQ, only for me to be like "just kidding she's alive now!!" but.

[katsona-the-katsequel]

Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report

Part 7

11/10 (Tue) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Wh, wh, wh... J, Junpei! What's with the smell of love?! Don't make such random accusations! I'll kick you away! Ah... It's Takeba... Ahahaha.

Ahem. Well, today, Kirijo-senpai finally came back. As expected, she seemed to be more worn out than I expected, and even though she had come home, I could hardly talk to her...

Also, I'm a bit worried about Sanada-senpai. He seemed really calm while Kirijo-senpai was away, so maybe he was pushing himself too hard. Seeing Kirijo-senpai trapped, Sanada-senpai also felt depressed, just like she was...

For now, we think the best we can do is to not cause trouble for our seniors. So, the second-year students of Gekkoukan Academy, Amada-kun representing the elementary school, and Koro-chan representing the animals will be doing their best to support the two of them.

11/16 (Mon) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

Sanada-senpai and Kirijo-senpai, if there's anything we can do for you, please let us know. Junpei will take full responsibility and fulfill his mission. So, Junpei, please take care of them. This was Takeba.

11/11 (Wed) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Good evening, this is Yamagishi.

Yukari-chan, you're overreacting... So it's obvious even if it's not Junpei-kun? But Junpei-kun, do I smell love too? Hmm, that's a no-go. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm connected to anyone like that yet.

Speaking of love, the transfer student Ryoji-kun is somehow interesting, isn't he? Oh, I'm not saying anything about him... but don't you like Aigis' reaction when she first met him? It was the first time I've seen such an intense reaction as "No way!"

He seems to be very popular with girls, but even without that, it's a little strange. Am I overthinking it?

By the way... or rather, this is the main topic, but is Kirijo-senpai okay? We're currently exploring Tartarus again, little by little. With the school trip approaching, the Student Council work must be busy, so please leave it to us and relax for a while.

11/12 (Thu) - Reporter: Aigis

A school trip...a ​​very interesting event. I've learned quite a bit about school life, but sleeping in the same room as my classmates is a rare experience.

Now that I think about it, I would have called it a "special mission" school trip in the past, but now I'm pretty much a high school girl, so a school trip is not a special mission. It's a major event. I'm welcome!

But Ryoji-san, that's a no-no. Field leader, please be careful not to let your emotions get the better of you in an extraordinary environment like a school trip and deepen your relationship with Ryoji-san.

11/13 (Fri) - Reporter: Ken Amada

School trip... In high school, we're going to Kyoto. Yukari-san looked strange when she heard it was Kyoto, so maybe she doesn't like it? In my case, I hardly ever had the chance to travel, so I'm just jealous that you can go out somewhere.

For now, I've requested souvenirs from the field leader, but if you can give me something else, I'll have no complaints.

Oh, Junpei-san. I'll tell you now, wooden swords are a no-no. Also, anything that says "love," "friendship," or "effort" is a no-no.

By the way, speaking of Junpei-san, did you go to the hospital today? I wonder how Chidori-san is doing. Did you get to see her? You see, everyone except Chidori-san from Strega lost the battle during the last operation... She's having a hard time too. It may be strange for me to say this, but please be sure to stay with her.

11/14 (Sat) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo.

Phew... It's been a while since I've been in this room.

I'm sorry for causing trouble to everyone. I'm not sure if I can be a valuable fighting force, but I'm finally feeling motivated.

...For now, I still haven't found the purpose of the battle, but there's no doubt that the number of people suffering from Apathy Syndrome due to the shadows' damage is increasing. In that case, we have no choice but to hunt shadows, even if it's only a symptomatic treatment.

It may be a little lonely with a captain like this, but I intend to come up with a plan soon. Please stay like this for a while...I'm counting on you.

Now for the school trip...

11/15 (Sun) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, it's Takeba.

Kirijo-senpai, you still seem tired... But I think it's understandable considering the situation. You suddenly lost your goal.

I don't know if this will help, but before we joined SEES, when the large Shadows hadn't appeared yet, you had no idea how to make the Dark Hour disappear, right?

But you, Kirijo-senpai, started the squad on your own five years ago and survived the seemingly endless battles with Sanada-senpai and Aragaki-senpai. Is it unreasonable to think that even if you lose sight of your goal, you've just gone back to that time...?

…Hmm, sorry. I may have been a bit pushy without considering the feelings of the senpais. To be honest, I'm also at a loss as to what to do from now on. Anyway, if you need anything, please let me know anytime. This was Takeba...

It's Kirijo.

Takeba, you've been a big help with the other day's activity report and today's work. I've also been a nuisance to everyone else because of my incompetence. I'm really sorry.

To tell the truth, I've been a lot of trouble to the Student Council. Today, because I disappeared without a trace, even the general students were hunted down and searched for. I hope no one in this dorm was involved.

Anyway, both the shadow fighting and the Student Council are scheduled to be fully restored from today. I'll be counting on you.

By the way... should I ask Iori or Takeba? Um, who is this transfer student called Mochizuki? He seems to have transferred while I was away, but is he the son of some company CEO or something?

I was suddenly invited to a meal at a hotel today. I have had meals with clients and business partners in the Kirijo Group before, but this was the first time I had met them face to face, so I was a bit hesitant. Was I being rude?

11/17 (Tue) - Reporter: Ken Amada

Mitsuru-san... If you're serious about that, I think you should learn a bit about your awareness of danger as a woman. I hope you haven't gotten caught up in some weird pick-up scheme in Kyoto. I wonder if you'll be okay...

So, starting today, everyone is on a school trip. Only Koromaru and I are in the dorm. It would be a problem if we lived in a normal dormitory with just one elementary school student and one dog, but we are still members of SEES. At least in terms of crime prevention, it's completely safe. Please feel sorry for the thief.

Well, I'm looking forward to the souvenirs.

11/18 (Wed) - Reporter: Ken Amada

It's the second day since you all left.

I'm not lonely, but... I think the distance between Koromaru and I is starting to get a bit tense when we're alone together. I wish I could understand Koromaru's words like Aigis does.

Today, after school, I took Koromaru for a walk. However, I was a little late with the planning and forgot about Koromaru's walking route. We crossed Moonlight Bridge on foot, went to Port Island, and returned to the dormitory...

I just had dinner and I'm going to bed now. Good night.

11/19 (Thu) - Reporter: Ken Amada

Third day of the school trip.

Where will everyone be today? I'm sure most of you will have visited the standard tourist spots of Kiyomizu-dera Temple and the Kyoto Imperial Palace on the first day of the school trip, but maybe you'll go a little further and visit Kinkaku-ji Temple or Ginkaku-ji Temple?

Maybe you think you know a lot about it even though you've never been there? Hehehe. Actually, I was just using the terminal here to look at some Kyoto tourism websites.

Kyoto seems like a nice place... Oh, I'm not saying that I want to go there. I'm just impressed by the beautiful scenery. Oh, if someone is interested in going again, I might be happy if they invite me too... The open-air baths would be great.

…No, I'm not urging you or anything. If you want to go, you can go by yourself. Please come back early tomorrow. Be careful on the way back.

11/20 (Fri) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

It may sound cliché, but to be honest, I feel like I'm the best. Yes, I feel like I've finally found the teleportation device in Tartarus and escaped to the entrance...

Ah, it seems like Amada has been very lonely. Well, I'll invite him on a trip sometime. As for the open-air bath... well, someday...

11/21 (Sat) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hi, Junpei here. Amada, it seems like you had a really hard time staying home alone. So why aren't you accepting the souvenir I went to the trouble of buying for you? It was really hard to find, the ornament from Kinkakuji that says "All-out attack." No, I never imagined something like this would be serious either.

I don't want anything with words like "love," "friendship," or "effort" written on it, so I wondered if there were any words that would make Amada happy. I want to be paid for my labor!

Oh, now that I think about work, I remembered. I have a hands-on study session starting the day after tomorrow... This school doesn't allow part-time job.

I've lived my life avoiding work to the point where I'm glad there's a school rule that prohibits part-time jobs, so why do I have to go through the trouble of doing it in class?

What's more, I wish they'd picked a job that looked at least a bit interesting, but from what I've heard from my seniors, it's either unloading, carrying, or shouldering luggage, which are all the same!

Kirijo-senpai, do you have any secret tricks to use the Kirijo group's powers to give everyone in the dorm the easy work?

For now, my hopes are that there will be 20 minute breaks every hour, I won't have to lift anything heavier than a rice bowl, and it would be nice if there were cute girls working with me, would that be okay?

11/22 (Sun) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo. Junpei Iori... Don't be so selfish, you idiot!

I thought someone had gone all the way to the head of the Kirijo family's household to talk about work and had returned tired, but to be greeted with such a pointless report is beyond anger; it makes me dumbfounded.

To begin with, the Kirijo Group has nothing to do with experiential learning. If you send students from the school Kirijo runs to Kirijo's company, they'll have an easy time, that's for sure. That would defeat the purpose of off-campus training!

Well... I guess it's not possible this year, but next year I might be able to get you into a company that's a good fit for you. I heard recently that the president of the mail-order company, Tanaka's Amazing Commodities, heard about our off-campus internship and asked me if I would like to have some students attend. That place is famous for its harsh working environment, with 24-hour full-time work. For people like you who have little motivation to work, they make you work even if you don't say anything. What do you think? They make you work really hard, so it's a good place to work, isn't it?

…Yeah, it feels like I'm really getting back to normal. I guess this is how I should be. Iori, your silly story seems to have cheered me up just now. Thank you. Well, I guess I'll rest before the Dark Hour today.

11/23 (Mon) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Something sad... happened. It was during the Dark Hour last night...

Uh... uh...

Wait...

I guess I shouldn't push myself after all. Oh, it's nothing.

It looks like it's tough for Fuuka, so I'll start recording from here. Um... where should I start? Yes, it was yesterday's Dark Hour.

Fuuka caught Strega's presence before Tartarus, and it was that Chidori, Junpei's precious one.

Actually, she was supposed to be hospitalized, but I found out today... there was an attack on the hospital, and she went missing at the time. And then, that Chidori suddenly attacked Junpei... she was really in love with Junpei, but she didn't know what her feelings were, and she said it was her fault because Junpei was there... what an idiot, that girl. She was tempted by that perverted Strega guy! Y-Yes. After that, two men from Strega appeared and shot Junpei...

I'm sorry, but I don't remember that part very well. I'll leave out the details, but Junpei was close to death once. But that girl's Persona... I think she was called Medea. With the power of that Persona, she gave Junpei life... Medea's power is the exact opposite of Fuuka's Juno's; it's not the power to sense life, but the power to release one's own life. And so, even though she was weak from fighting us before, she gave all her remaining life to Junpei...

I'm sorry. I'm still confused and can't put it into words well. It's not something that can be said so easily, I want more...more...!

Yukari-chan...

I'm fine now. Let's take over. Right?

This is Yamagishi. I'll take over. Chidori-san has passed away. She gave her life, and Junpei-kun is safe. However, I allowed Takaya and Jin, the two who call themselves Strega, to escape.

As of today, Junpei-kun has gone somewhere and is gone. I'm very worried, but I don't think the worst will happen. Junpei knew very well that Chidori gave him his life. So, I think it will be okay.

Chidori's body has now been moved to Kirijo. They need to identify her... I wonder what they'll do about the funeral.

Anyway, we're waiting for Junpei to return. I'm sure he'll be fine.

11/24 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

Today, the second-year students came home exhausted from their field trip. I didn't go to their rooms to check, but I think they were so tired that they fell asleep around 10 o'clock. Well, that's what happened. I'm sure they were grateful in a way for being so tired that they didn't have time to think about anything.

However, Junpei still hasn't come back to the dorms, and he hasn't participated in the field trip. I'm sure he'll come back, but... it's too heavy for one person to carry. It's several times heavier than the baggage you carry on a field trip. When I was there, there was Amada, who felt the same way. We shared it between the two of us, and somehow we managed to carry it all.

…Junpei, come back soon.

The only way to rise from sadness is to stand on your own two feet. But when you can't stand on your own, someone will hold your hand. The people in this dorm are all good-natured, so there will be plenty of arms outstretched to help you. You know that, don't you?

I'm sure she's waiting for that too.

11/25 (Wed) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo. The second-year students are going on an experiential learning session today. Even to begin with, everyone is quiet.

Furthermore, the number of people has decreased, so the dormitory is so quiet it feels like no one is living there... Iori hasn't returned yet.

Akihiko says he's fine, but when I think of my mental state when I lost my father, I can't fully relax.

Well, I have no choice but to believe him... Regarding the girl named Chidori, I'd like to report what Kirijo's lab has learned. When the results of the tests from when she was hospitalized were revealed, it was a side effect of the suppressor, and even if this incident hadn't happened, she would have had about two years to live.

Nothing about her identity remains a mystery. It's doubtful whether her last name, or even the name Chidori, was real. If we could find out the true identity of the mastermind who turned the Strega into Persona Users, we could investigate, but there is no information on that either. For now, I have instructed them to continue the investigation.

That's all we know. The guys at the lab were interested in the artificial Persona Users, and some even insisted on an autopsy, but I stopped them from doing so. That's all for now.

11/26 (Thu) - Reporter: Aigis

The third day of the experience program has ended. Everyone except for me seems to be exhausted.

Junpei-san has still not returned. Where is he?

Chidori gave her life with a will that went beyond biological instinct. Junpei, who inherited her will, will inevitably return. I'm sure of it.

11/27 (Fri) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, this is Takeba. I've finally finished my hands-on learning. My arms are sore, my back is sore, my eyes are droopy, and I feel like I've aged all at once. I'm sure the others are feeling the same way. Oh, except for Aigis. She was working silently, saying she was good at this kind of thing.

And then...Junpei finally returned home.

Seriously, that idiot caused me so much worry...

Although he's safe, he looks more depressed and weak than I've ever seen him before... But I'll wait. The guy I know is the kind of guy who always bounces back even when he's down.

I'm watching closely, Junpei.

11/28 (Sat) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

…Hehe, it's Junpei. I'm so sorry for worrying everyone. Well, I just heard about the activities while I was away. I don't know, but I feel sorry, but I'm also grateful... I'm really touched, I guess. Well, I've finally come back, so I'll do a report on my activities to celebrate my return. It's a matter of settling things, a matter of settling things.

...a...matter of...

Oh, no, I'm not going senile, I just realized that I've never really made a proper report in the first place, hahahaha.

Wow, so this is to celebrate my return and my first report? That's pretty fancy, isn't it?

Anyway, there was only one thing that related to SEES today. I'll just give you a quick report.

Well, should I start by saying that Tatsumi Memorial Hospital... has delivered Chidori's belongings to Kirijo-senpai. Well, when I say belongings, it was just one sketchbook.

But I was a little surprised by the contents of that sketchbook...

The pictures of Chidori that I know are kind of unintelligible, like avant-garde art, surreal, rare...Real Madrid...no. They're just messy pictures like that.

But...the drawing on the last page was an amazingly good one, I was amazed that she could draw something like that...

...Well, to be honest, it was a really handsome portrait of Iori Junpei-sama!

However, when the details are made to that extent, it's really embarrassing, or rather, I get a little embarrassed.

…So that’s why I’m here talking to you like this right now.

Okay, the report is over! I'll be back working hard starting tomorrow, so please keep me company!

11/29 (Sun) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Good evening, this is Yamagishi.

I'm glad you're feeling better, Junpei...and once again...welcome back.

It feels like it's been a while since we've been able to report on our activities in a normal atmosphere. However, it seems like everyone is still tired from all the hard work that's been going on, so there's nothing special to do today...

Ah, there was! That's right, something special.

Someone other than SEES showed up as a guest at the Iwatodai dormitory.

That person was actually the much talked about transfer student from Class F, Ryoji Mochizuki. Apparently, he became friends with Junpei on the school trip, and they were chatting for quite a long time in the room. Ah, but apparently I just didn't notice, and he'd already been here before, although I'm not sure if it was before or after the field trip.

It's kind of an unexpected combination, isn't it? Ryoji is fashionable, flawless and popular, and Junpei is, um, a bit of a different type. I wonder what they had in common?

11/30 (Mon) - Reporter: Ken Amada

Tonight, the atmosphere was a little different than usual. Well, I know the reason why. Everyone except for me, Aigis, and Koromaru has been holed up in their rooms studying all day. ...And Junpei too!

When I asked Aigis, she said that the final exams are coming up in two weeks, so I think they're studying for those exams. But with a normal exam, Yukari would start to push herself about a week or two before, and then Sanada would start nagging Junpei, who never seems to start studying, and then Mitsuru would motivate everyone. But this time it's different...

I guess it's just a result of you all growing up through a lot of things, right?

Still, it's surprising that Junpei is starting to study at this time of year... And what's more, I've been watching him for over an hour and he hasn't even come out to the break room... People can change all they want. Good luck to everyone.

12/1 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

It seems like all the members are studying hard on their own for this final term. As a mother-in-law, I feel like there isn't enough for them to do.

…Just kidding.

But Junpei really started studying on his own. I'm not joking, it looks like it's going to rain or snow here. Well, do your best.

…Actually, there's something that's been bothering me today. What on earth happened to Aigis? Has she always shown such a sad expression? Maybe you should be a little more careful and considerate of her. I know this sounds strange, but she just seemed like a normal scared girl. Is she okay...?

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