#rya my wife

[ghostyolive]

Pop up parade of the wife. Ginormous fucking w for today <3<3<3

[al3x-xxxx]

[canvashearts]

psst oi nandos

Hi bb how are you? My boards are gonna be over soon I'll talk soon, I swear 😭

[google-searchhistory-official]

A.

Rya ^

Storm Eye and Teron ^

tags have more info

just cause im curious and love to hear about ppl's ocs: which OC of yours is your favorite and why do you think they got that title?

[tentacleteapot]

so I decided to put my extremely lengthy and overly enthused thoughts about the tonic of forgetfulness and the Volcano Manor fam into their own post rather than just the tags of someone else's. I love Rykard and Tanith and Rya's lore so much, they're such a great fucked up little family. yes I am overlooking the torture and cannibalism because of how much I love snake monsters and the idea of overthrowing the dominant religion in my country with the help of my hot wife, what of it?

[petew21-blog]

You and Hugh belong together

A story submitted anonymously: Could you do a story with Hugh Jackman swapping bodies with Ryan Reynolds?

01/12/2024

Hey guys, thus is Ryan Reynolds. I just have a new update for the Deadpool movie you all have been asking for. Well, thanks to someone out there wiritng fanfictions about the two of us, we now got in a situation where we truly don't want to be. So, to the person writing the body swap fiction, please stop. I have no desire in wiping Hugh's butt everyday and see my own face every single day we're shooting the movie. Ok? Now go and fix this.

01/14/2024

Hey, please stop this. Hugh might try to tell you that we both want this swap to last, but don't believe him, please. He is so into my body now and can't stop reminding me how fit and flexible my body is. I even caught him blowing himself. And the worst thing is... I never managed to do that! Fix this!!!

01/16/2024

Ok, you dipshit. I have lost my patience. Having Hugh in my body is one thing, but no one except me can sleep with my wife. This crossed a line that it never should have. I don't know if it's Hugh's body being attracked to my own, but if you have something to do with this. Stop now.

01/20/2024

Hey, Ryan here. The actual one and only Ryan Reynolds. Ehm... Hugh has been acting weird for the past few days. You know how these older people get haha. Yeah. So everything is great aaaand we're doing our best ot make the movie possible. Stay tuned.

02/15/2024

Oh hey. This is Rya..Hugh. Here. I am happy and everything is fine actually... I have to be honest with you. I don't know what is happening anymore. My and Ryan's, no waiit. Hugh's body... Whatever. Both of our bodies are drawn to each other everyday. If I don't jerk off atleast twice a day thinking about us having wild sex, I cum unwillingly. I beg you, please fix this

05/18/2024

Hey guys. As you may have noticed me and RYAN left together for a holiday just for the two of us. Everything has been working out great. I just came back to delete some of the delusional posts I have been writing for the past few months. I am doing much better now thanks to all of you. Especially to you kind sir behind the computer for allowing me a proper CHANGE of my life. Hope to see you all soon. Bye...

What did you say Ryan? Yeah, of course I'm ready for round two. Be right there

Hope you liked the story. I thoguht that Ryan, the Deadpool himself, was the perfect candidate for a fourth wall break. Hope I entertained.

To all who submitted a story, please be patient. Your story is next in line

[asklesbianonceler]

for the character ask meme—Rykard! I’m always very curious to hear people’s takes on him.

I do love Rykard! Maybe one of my favorite war criminals in Elden Ring and also one of my favorite characters to be unserious about.

Favorite thing: I love that, despite being one of the easiest characters to confidently call evil, and becoming that willingly, he still has a heart for his family. Expecting Tannith to leave him and seemingly being understanding if that were to happen, offering her what he felt was a kindness to ease her suffering when he became the serpent, that she refused. And still being close to Ranni and trusted enough to be privvy to the night of black knives. I genuinely think he's fascinating all around even tho he is an evil freak. I'm always fascinated by a character who takes research to an absolutely vile route as well, and knowing he was in the Realm of Shadow for those reasons makes him even cooler to me.

Also his little legs.

Least favorite:

That I needed to respec to use the sword meant to make his fight easy. I thought for some reason I was the only person who couldn't do the easy mechanic.

Wish he didn't torture albinaurics, they've been through enough shit, but his character really is "guy who does torture" so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Brotp:

Rykard and Ghiza. Me and my wife do a bit where they're two fucked up dudes trying to pull at the club.

OTP:

I love that Tannith is a monsterfucker. I love them. But I think most Rykard ships are good. We know he can pull. He was a horn dog.

NOTP:

Guys I'm trying to have a notp. I have them for other Elden Ring characters I promise. Are there Rykard rarepairs I haven't seen? Show me.

Headcanon:

I like to think he has a nice relationship with Rya even though it is not textually supported. I'm in love with EmmaWard's art of them.

Unpopular opinion:

is it unpopular to say Rykard lays eggs? He does. It's the truth.

Quote:

So he only has the two... But his last words being "No one will hold me captive" is genuinely a good summary of what being a blasphemer means to him as well as the lore, where it is just being free of the ruling belief system and unrestrained by its laws. Giving himself to the serpent was the most powerful form of freedom he could find from the erdtree. Similar to Ranni shedding her flesh to unbind herself from the golden order and greater will.

Song:

Please 😭 I can't come up with this shit on the fly. Pre-Snake/ Young Rykard I feel like we need some sleezy shit. Can I say there's probably something by Electric Six or Viagra Boys that works?

Favorite pic:

more like the reveal of it but when he first turns and you see his slightly less defined face waking up for the first time in the cutscene. That shit is good.

[mohgreal]

how my elden ring modern au i have in my head looks like:

Miquella - I thought of him in a modern setting first, only instead of being just Miq in a modern setting, he's like my other au of Miquella, (deathblight Miquella/corrupted Miquella) in a modern setting. Basically, he used to be like the goodie "i love everyone!!!" but then like...got traumatized. and now hes like that. Well actually he's the exact same nice boy but protective and mean on mondays. I really haven't thought about him in a bit so my memory on how i thought about this is foggy af. and yes he is a adult, around 20

Malenia - Kind of a meme slighty in terms of personality, i watched too much elden ring abridged what can i say. Just plays sports with Loretta & Finlay, and instead of scarlet rot she is just disabled. Which, is probably common sense but still. Works for some pizza place or dosen't work at all, again, didn't really think about it

Mohg - This sounds funny when i write it down, but he owns a cartel instead of a cult. yes you may laugh. A mexican cartel to be exact, and all the Mohgwyn followers work for him. Haven't thought about the cartel too much in depth either....also has my bleed character tarnished work 4 him since why not. also thought about making my bleed tarnished his (adopted) son so he can be relevant to the plot, but honestly no one cares about tarnished modern au or not so whatever

Morgott - Haven't thought him too much, but i imagine he'd be like a priest or some sort of hardcore christian (not slandering.) just does whatever old men do thesedays.

Rennala - Teacher. teaches about books or something, again, didn't think the details out very much whoops. Divorced from Radagon for plot reasons, but her children don't live with her either (also for plot reasons) mostly just sadly reads books and gives her students good grades. would study for

Rykard - I imagine he'd be like a criminal of sorts too, but idk what kind. Would keep it hidden very well though. would live w/ Tanith and Rya because funni famileeee guy. Has dyed red hair because it makes him look cool/i said so. Is also very overdramatic despite owning like 3 snakes (each have names)

Radahn - sports guy & horse girl. mostly plays sports (sometimes with Malenia too) and reads horse facts on google dot com

Radagon - Miserably lives with Marika in a arranged marriage for religous reasons (golden order is like a religon if u think abt it). mostly just works and will post "i miss my wife and 3 kids" on facebook

did not think the rest too much through because my head is disorganised as hell. this is just my take on a modern au so don't overthink it chat

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

God lore. Gimme gimme gimme >:D

I have so much soooo eee

I guess the beginning is the right place to start.

When things began, Rya began. Or perhaps it was the other way around. Either way, Rya and the beginning are thoroughly intertwined. Two occasions that were simultaneous and one and the same.

He is the beginning.

But, the moment that things began, that he began, there came the existence of things that would end. There came Vita.

Rya took Vita as his wife, for he felt he was owed as much, after all things can only end if they first begin.

Their union was such a clash, a conflict, that it let off a celestial spark, lighting the universe with matter. And from that matter came gods.

Beyond that, things branch out and get a little more difficult, a little more individual. soooo

i found some old art of some of my god ocs which is like... from a while ago...

(ignore the 'soft boi' bit... also, 'Valerie' was Vita's old name, ignore that too, i repurposed it for another character)

[blasphemousclaw]

So Rykard is Rya’s dad right (and basically every other snake man in Volcano Manor) ? Then how do you think Rykard would be like as a parent ??? And what about his siblings ???? Would the three be good parents ???????????

yes in some capacity Rykard is the “father” of all the man-serpents! not that he’s doing any parenting though, Rya doesn’t seem to know who he is:

“I am told I was born by the grace of a glorious king. […] My serpentine form, and the name Zorayas, were secrets known only to Lady Tanith and I.”

“Really... Oh, so there was a secret after all... Oh my... Lady Tanith, my own mother, has deceived me... Was I not... born by the grace of a king?”

it seems like Rykard is far too busy eating people in his cave to parent his many snake children, since Rya at the very least doesn’t seem to have had contact with him.

Gonna be controversial here and say that not only would Rykard probably not be a great parent, but Tanith is already not a great parent. She clearly loves Rya with all her heart, but to love your child and to be a good parent to them are different things. Tanith uses Rya’s sweet face to recruit Tarnished for her husband to kill and eat, and she doesn’t tell her about what happens to them or what the Manor’s true mission is. And then when Rya starts to find out about the truth, Tanith asks us to erase her painful thoughts and memories, though she knows it’s wrong to violate Rya’s autonomy. Instead of letting Rya know the painful truth of who she really is, where she comes from, and what she’s truly doing, she chooses to keep lying to her.

Anyway this is all to say that I think Rykard has the exact same problem as his wife: if he were to be parenting a child, as long as he’s leading a war against the Erdtree, he’s not going to prioritize his child, though he may love them. I suspect Rykard’s siblings would have the same problem… it’s just like how Ranni’s actions lead to Iji’s death and Blaidd’s insanity: though she loved them, she committed to those actions anyway. I think all three siblings are very loving but very deeply flawed people, and they all pursue their own agendas to the detriment of those around them.

[lucyfeur1999]

i have So Many bs headcanons, i hope you don't mind me sending them as an ask ^_^;

-joel's hair is actually well cared for, it's very soft

-jessica likes speedcore, breakcore, and genres kind of within that area if you get what im saying (i'm actually working on a playlist of songs i think she would listen to but uhhh- i'm a bit nervous to put it out there)

-elly is a bit chubby!!! i refuse to believe she's skinny im sorry (i just might be projecting bc she's my fav hhhhhhhh)

-rya is an avid neopets player but wouldn't admit it at gunpoint. she has a faerie cybunny that she cares more about than her actual son

-the black part of cassidy's hair is dyed, it's naturally fully blue

-andrew has definitely gone to jail for something at some point. i hate andrew.

-this one isn't technically mine (came from a fanfic on ao3) but june is/was also a scientist

-phil is prone to cuteness aggression

-they're all autistic i don't make the rules

-elly plays tf2 and mains scout

-june is mixed (white/latina)

-phil doesn't like being catholic deep down and has really bad catholic guilt

-joel unironically listens to your favorite martian

-elly, although she didn't go to college, has a cybersecurity certification

-cassidy stores random things under her hat

-brad has a huge, extremely-high value pokemon card collection and has a borderline shady business where he sells cards to people

-the marriage prom was basically the hunger games but with a spouse instead of food as the prize. what happened to the wife craig won? um

that's all i can think of rn. can you tell i am very sane and normal about this show ^w^

AUGHH I'm sorry for not answering days ago, I had a lot to do. I love these sm! I rarely have any bs headcanons yet except Phil is autistic and Joel is auDHD . Also TF2 MENTIONED YAY!!

[catcas22]

I think you may be my favorite Elden Ring writer haha, Grudge Match and Unalloyed really piqued my interest in the cast of characters. I love the new story with Aurelia and Sellen too :)

Do you have any information to share about Tanith and Rya in the Grudge Match au? I find it kind of hilarious that Rykard of all people appears to be the most normal one in the family (not a high bar to clear but still). I wonder if his wife is acting as his impulse control here, or if she is just as unhinged as in canon. Would love to see them more if you decide to continue this au!

Thank you so much! I love writing these characters!

In Grudge Match, I was writing with the vague idea that Rykard and Tanith had met while he was touring with the Lords of Blasphemy. I was split between her having been a fan or her being their scheduling manager. Never really confirmed it either way, but a Vegas wedding officiated by an Elvis impersonator was definitely involved.

I see Grudge Match Rykard as someone who's sensible 90% of the time, but who has no brakes and no chill once he's pushed beyond that. Contrast with Tanith, who is great at appearing sensible, actually does have a decent amount of common sense, but chooses to ignore it whenever it suits her.

They both had a wild time in their early twenties, but by the time of the fic they'd slowed down a bit. Having a new baby to take care of mellowed them out significantly. Rykard in particular was just too tired to get up to anything too crazy.

If I ever return to the Grudge-verse, I'd definitely include more of Rykard and Tanith.

Thanks for the ask!

[agentrouka-blog]

Is @rya still betrothed to Elmar Frey??

No, and GRRM makes that clear multiple times.

Elmar himself tells her tearfully that the betrothal to his princess is off in our first hint that Robb messed up with the Freys, before she leaves Harrenhal:

"My princess," he sobbed. "We've been dishonored, Aenys says. There was a bird from the Twins. My lord father says I'll need to marry someone else, or be a septon." (ACOK, Arya X)

Given that people believe Arya is dead by the time the Freys falsely agree to a reconciliation with Robb, I doubt the betrothal is brought up again as an option.

Not to mention, numerous Freys are marching North with Roose Bolton, escorting him, his wife Walda and Ramsay's intended wife "Arya Stark" (actually Jeyne Poole) toward her wedding to someone decidedly not Elmar Frey.

What gave you the idea that it was still a thing? 🤔

[redwolf17]

Okay, so you wanted to know which chapter is my favourite but there are so many good ones!! Every Olyvar chapter Caged Wolf. I always go back to read them, especially Olyvar IV. I love seeing Sansa through his eyes. I also loved seeing the gift of the trees he made for her. It was so sweet and seeing her break down and cry, i just - *wipes eyes* This poor girl has overheard the worst things about this man, and she was worried about the tree as well, so when he whips out the perfectly healthy saplings as a present to her- that was so good. So wholesome. AND I love how Olyvar respects his wife's Northern heritage, despite his own differences and clear commitment to the seven.

The Gilly chapter in Desert Wolf is another one of my favourites. I love seeing the aftermath of Olyvar's fight with the Mountain , and how his reputation is suddenly top of the charts. And fact-checking Gilly has me in bits:

They didn't know that Ser Olyvar despaired over the few wispy black hairs dotting his chin and his upper lip, or that he was more likely to absentmindedly braid his wife's loose hair in the evening than dip her in a passionate kiss. Rya said the lanky knight had ten sisters: the Red Viper's nine daughters and his young lady wife. 

I loved seeing her not only adjust to the customs but also make them her own. the part where she was worshipping the seven gods and putting her sisters faces to them was so powerful to me. Religion is a big part of human culture and history. And i love any chapter that expands on their religious views. I also really liked how you mentioned that the Dornish put the mother first (matriarchal much?? I love seeing the diversity of religious expression )

💕💕💕

Thank you!!!! Olyvar giving Sansa the saplings is an echo of Ned building Cat a sept 😭

Gilly, my love! Her POVs may be over, but her story isn’t… 👀

[katyspersonal]

Okay, so I still haven't beaten Elden Ring, let alone learning enough, but with DLC approaching let me get the family tree situation straight from what I gathered:

So, Marika was blessed as a demigod and married Godfrey, with whom she had children - twins Mohg and Morgott (that were hidden as shameful secret because they were Omens), possibly many children that were forgotten by now, and Godwyn, from whom Godrick descends, who ALSO has at least 7 'noble scions' who are most likely just his children (lmao got a gene of fucking a lot from Marika bfhdufjfkh)

But also at some point Marika was affected by the curse of giants (displays with very red hair) however this curse is male-exclusive, that caused a conflict and resulted in her sprouting a malesona, Radagon, who married Renalla and had children with her - Rykard, Ranni and Radahn. Radahn coincidentally was a fanboy of Godfrey, Ranni used night of black knives for her goals that also killed Godwyn's soul and her body, and Rykard allowed his pet snake to eat him becoming immortal and had uncountable snake-people children born between him and Daedicar amongst which was Rya who was surprisingly normal, but his legal wife was Tanith and she is adoptive mother of Rya.

But ALSO when Godfrey was declared cringe and fail and Godwyn was lost, Radagon divorced Rennala under excuse of becoming new husband of Marika, but actually the "two" had twin children from themselves - older Miquella and younger Malenia (she addresses Miquella as older brother in Japanese). It is only my interpretation why they are this way but what I think happened is: Miquella was born pure blessed since there was no normie human (like Godfrey) to combat Malenia's blessed genes, therefore it ensured he stopped aging before reaching puberty (so he forever stays 'pure', shining and at peak of energy - that couldn't happen with Marika who wasn't born blessed but was given it, so she was able to reach adulthood). However, this 'blessing' is more like a curse to be honest, like how if you a superhero got TOO much mutation instead of cool and fun superpowers it'd just ruin their body. But since the male side of the same entity was bearing a curse, there was no way for a perfect demigod child to be born, nor a person that didn't deserve the curse could get it, so that left a 'vacant' twin devoid of the golden blessing, and because she never was "protected" by it, that left her vulnerable for Scarlet Rot to settle in her as it's vessel. And she also asexually has 5 daughters because of this (or maybe even 6, if that flower with clothes set near it was secret 6th daughter that bloomed). And they were adopted by that guy in a shack.

...but ALSO, Godfrey had a relative, and Nepheli is his descendant, she is adopted by Gideon though.

Like, that's what I gathered from the situation yet. Correct me if I am wrong somewhere or missed something (...or don't, because I will probably enjoy finding what I missed by myself hahah).

Also, the only thing missing yet is children between Rennala and Godfrey it seems! This would be really cute though, such children would be related to everyone except Miquella and Malenia (though it'd still be crypto-relation because each side shares at least one parent with the twins)

[grollow]

Elden Ring 👀

My problematic wife of a game dsjbgksdg

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Miquella the Unalloyed. Who we know very little about but what we do know has completely enthralled me and my brain is full of so many theories about him.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

I feel like the only acceptable answer to this is Rya because I will actually kill a man if they disrespect her. That is my child and I will fight you.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Kale. His cut questline makes me feel things that I don't know how to put into words and I am angry that it got cut. Please reinstate it, FromSoft, I'm begging you.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

I'm so fucking normal about Lansseax. I'm so normal. I'm so normal.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

I don't know if this counts as unpopular but if Marika isn't considered problematic, I'll eat my hat, but she can do whatever she wants. I support women's wrongs, you're all just mean.

Vyke is a close second, he's pathetic and I will die for him. He's also part of my toxic Elden Ring ship though sdbgsd

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

FSDGSGDDSD GODRICK GODRICK GODRICK

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

I kinda like everyone in Elden Ring for different reasons but if I have to SuperHell someone it's probably Gideon. You smell funny, sir.