#rustling armin’s hair i’m crying

[chigirisprincess]

the amount of foreshadowing that was cut from the anime by wit …. WIT WHEN I CATCH, WHEN I CATCH YOU WIT!!!

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello, hello! I hope you’re doing well and are having a nice end to your week. May I request a matchup for Trigun (any media would be grand) and Attack on Titan?

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

Zodiac/MBTI: Leo, INFJ

Appearance: long wavy auburn hair and my eyes are more of a honey brown. I always wear round glasses. I'm pale with freckles on my cheeks and nose. 5’9, more of an hourglass shape and have a bit of muscle

Personality: I love having me time, but enjoy being with those close to me from time to time. I get lost in thought fairly easily. I love discussing topics that revolve around things that are an enigma. It’s not as important for me to have others agree with me as it is to explore the unknown with them. Since I’m reserved, I take a long time to open up to others. I’ve been told that I come off as intimidating, but this is entirely unintentional and am instead quite gentle. I’m adventurous and have completed a dream of mine – living/working in a country that doesn’t speak my native language. I actively search for things to be thankful for. Every now and then, I like listening to the branches being rustled by the wind and being able to gaze up at the moon and stars shining brightly, which remind me that there's a lot of beauty in the world and I'm glad to experience it. I am happiest when seeking out information/reason.

Likes and Dislikes: I like demonology, biology, genealogy, reading, Victorian history, singing, practicing languages, and exploring my surroundings. A large portion of what I read/watch relate to the occult. I dislike storms, horses (I admire them from afar but getting up close and personal... nonononono), large bodies of water, and people who always turn disagreements into arguments.

Hobbies: Writing horror stories, reading, listening to music, watching horror movies. Animated movies are for sure a guilty pleasure of mine. Coco is 10/10 for a good cry.

Thank you and have a lovely day/night!! ~('w'~)

Hi! Thank you for your request; you're the first person to request Trigun and I'm so excited to write for it! So far, I only write for Trigun Stampede as I haven't seen/read anything else from the Trigun universe. I hope you like your matchups!

In Trigun Stampede, I match you with...

I think you and Wolfwood are similar in many ways. You’re both more on the reserved side, especially when compared to people like Vash, but once you both find you can trust the other and open up, you would have a strong relationship.

Loves finding isolated places where you can go to stargaze together. He doesn’t claim to know much about the stars, but he loves spending time with you.

Wolfwood loves running his fingers over your freckles. He just finds it relaxing.

Loves listening to you talk about demonology and horror stories you’ve written. He knows a bit about that sort of thing because of his field of work so he can usually keep up with what you’re saying.

Speaking of your writing, Wolfwood would be honoured if you let him read your work. He might not praise it out loud but you can be sure he likes anything you write because he can feel your passion coming through the page.

I see Wolfwood as someone who knows a few different languages. He’d like to compare languages to see if there are any you both speak. If so, he’ll often slip into it when you’re out so no one else knows what he’s saying.

He sees it as a secret shared between just the two of you.

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

Armin is your study buddy for everything. Biology? For sure! Languages? Absolutely! History? That’s his favourite subject!

Loves exploring with you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s exploring the city or hiking through nature, he just likes finding new places and spending quality time with you.

Somehow knows all the best places to go to listen to the wind and stargaze. He’s got some instinct for knowing where they are and remembering so he can take you to them.

While he’s not a huge fan of horror (both due to his personality, and circumstances), Armin can appreciate your fondness of it. Just don’t ask him to watch any horror movies with you. Otherwise he won’t be able to sleep.

Please let him read your stories! He loves anything written, but when it’s something you’ve written? He just can’t stop talking about his favourite parts!

Armin’s probably the best person to have conversations with, especially about enigmas. He’s got so many thoughts on so many different topics that you’ll always find he has a comment to make.

He really values your thoughts and opinions as well though. He’s a good listener and he always wants you to feel heard.

[titanicsimp]

Could you do how the aot guys would react to you crying😭🙏

It’s soft and (mostly) sad hours 🥺😭

Armin Arlert

When you collapsed into Armin’s arms, tears rolling over your face, it broke his heart. Tears of his own joined yours, he couldn’t take seeing you like this. He wished he could fix it, make you forget all the pain and fear, but he knew he couldn’t. He held you tightly in his arms, sobbing softly against you as he tried to whisper reassurances. He would do anything he could to see you smile again.

Eren Yeager

Eren was taken aback when you started crying after an exchange of words. He hadn’t said anything hurtful, not as far as he recalled. As more tears fell from your eyes, all could do was stare. How long had it been since he had cried? He was shocked at his own incapability to understand what you were feeling. He reached out a hand, calling your name. When your hand joined his, he lovingly stroked over your knuckles. He would destroy the world and himself for you, but in that moment he couldn’t find a single word to express it with.

Jean Kirstein

Jean’s heart started racing as soon as he walked in and heard you sobbing, making his way to your side as quick as possible. When he found you wrapped in a blanket, sobbing in the bed you shared with him, he froze for a moment. He was scared he would mess up, say something that would make you leave. Whatever happened, happened, he decided, you needed him. Jean snuggled up behind you, scooping you up in his arms. “Ssshh, I’m right here. I’ll always be here.”

Connie Springer

The first thing that crossed Connie’s mind when he saw you crying on the sidewalk was that someone hurt you, and that thought shook him to the core with fear. He made his way over to you, and after making sure you were unharmed he sat down next to you. He laid his arm around you and pulled you close. “Whoever caused this, I’ll make their life miserable.” Though he was angry, he leaned his head against yours, knocking into you a few times before you finally let out a tiny laugh and told him to stop.

Levi Ackerman

Levi wasn’t good at the whole comforting thing, but he knew he had to try when he saw you crying. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to you, giving your hand a quick pat when he did. “Crying doesn’t suit you, kid.”

Erwin Smith

Erwin noticed instantly when you stopped walking behind him. You told him you were tired and done with fighting on without an end in sight, wiping away the tears that fell from your eyes. He had never seen you like this, and it distressed him greatly to see you so broken. Moving closer till he stood in front of you, he laid a hand on top of your head and rustled your hair. “You don’t have do this alone. Don’t forget I’m right here.”

Reiner Braun

Reiner knew how you felt as you sobbed into his chest after a bad nightmare. He stroked over your back, whispering to you that it was just a dream and you were safe. He wished this world had spared you, but nobody could escape a scar or two. All he could do was remind you of the present, of the love that he had for you, and hope that it would drown out the demons of yesterday.

Porco Galliard

Porco was shocked when he found you crying in the dorms. You were always so strong, never showing even a crack of sadness through all the time he had known you. But now he had caught you at a moment where you thought you were alone, he realized that you had merely hidden it away. He made his way over as you tried to quickly wipe away your tears. Capturing your hands in his he took a hard look at your tear stained face. “Stop crying by yourself, dumbass.” He told you and pulled you up into a hug.

Zeke Yeager

When Zeke saw tears forming at your eyes after a meeting, he quickly pulled you aside. He shook you by your shoulders as he questioned what was wrong. Worry washed over him when you told him you hadn’t been feeling like yourself lately, and that it was all too much to take at the moment. No, he couldn’t lose you, he wouldn’t. Zeke cupped your face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “When you feel that way, tell me, and I’ll guide you back to yourself.” He told you and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Colt Grice

Every tear that fell from your eyes felt like a dagger in Colt’s heart. You didn’t deserve this pain. He picked you up, carrying you to bed in his arms. He laid you down gently before joining you, pulling the blanket over you both. He pressed his forehead to yours, the light dimmed by the cover of the blanket. “It’s just you and me here, nobody can hurt us.”

[emeren]

sweet dreams- eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x reader 

word count: 870 (v short) 

content warnings: SLIGHT MANGA CHAPTER 138 SPOILERS, other than that there’s none :)

notes: hey so i’ve been crying nonstop abt chapter 138, literally my heart is  broken. i decided to write out this little angsty/fluff one shot to make myself feel better but i just ended up hurting more 😃 i hope you guys enjoy <3 

SUMMARY: reader has a painful dream and eren comforts them.

to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye.

your eyelids are a heavy beast to tame; weighed down by the drowsiness of slumber. it’s as though they refuse to open, wanting to trap you in the horrifying dream world your brain has orchestrated. and somehow, it felt as though it’d been real life itself. 

you jerk forward with a start, not quite sure where you are. all you can remember is the dead look in his grey eyes; the acceptance in his stare. it’s haunting and terrifying and consumes your emotions. your eyes are open, but everything is fuzzy. eren’s gone?

“bad dream?” a voice asks, clouded with an intangible concern. your breathing is shallow and deep as you turn around. 

he is lit beautifully; warm afternoon glow illuminating his face. his dark brows are pulled down in worry, a book folded in his left hand. something about the scene is dreamlike itself; he leans against a tree as a soft breeze blows through his shoulder length hair. 

you don’t recognize him at first. his face isn’t sunken with the death of thousands, nor are his eyes soulless and accepting. his skin is tanned and healthy, free of scars. his look of worry deepens. “why are you crying?” 

you bring a hand to your face, heart impossibly heavy. your cheeks are wet with tears, a testament to the horrors you’ve just endured. you feel a waft of confusion as you look back to the boy. he’s leaning forward, bringing his hand up to wipe the tears from your face.

“eren,” you breathe, confirmation and reassurance as his rough thumb swipes at the skin. there’s a small smile on his angelic features. seeing him is like a gift from heaven. 

your heart still hangs heavy for this boy; for the pain and suffering he endured in another life. his large hand engulfs your face as you begin to sob. is this real?

“hey, shhh, shhh,” he comforts, pulling you to his broad chest. you grasp at his shirt, desperately wishing for the feeling to be gone. “it’s okay, it’s okay. what was the dream about?” 

you open your mouth to reply, but the events are escaping through your brain; determined to be a torment for you and you alone. “i... i don’t remember.” 

eren chuckles softly, rubbing your back gently. he smells like sunscreen and peaches. you can no longer remember the horrible events from your dream, but the feeling lingers. eren guides your head into his lap, reassuringly scratching at your scalp. 

“whatever it was, it’s over now,” he hums. you hold your hands to your chest, gazing up at him as he smiles down at you. peaceful and warm, nearly enough to drive the pain away.

“it was horrible,” you choke, trying to grasp the last details as they threaten to leave the crevasses of your mind. eren nods in encouragement, focused intently on you. “you were- you- everyone was dying.” 

“hey, it’s okay. i’m as alive as ever,” he grins, a sight to charm even the most depressed of people. “we’re all okay.” 

distantly you hear laughter; it’s hypnotic and melodious, a charming sound. you sit up, your eyes settling on a group of people. they’re running around, chasing each other with what appears to be water balloons. 

you watch them for a moment; blissfully enjoying the summer warmth and freshness. connie has a water gun, chasing sasha as she ducks behind jean. armin dodges a sneak attack by a smiling mikasa. they laugh and squeal as though there isn’t a care in the world. 

“see?” eren intertwines his fingers with yours. you feel your lips tug upwards at the sight of your friends. “we came here for a picnic and you got tired. decided to take a nap in my lap while i read.” 

you look back at him, tears prickling at your eyes. he’s surprised by your expression, but you can’t contain the feeling of relief that’s washing over your body, stretching to every tip of your fingers. “i’m so glad.” 

you close your eyes and relish the feeling. it smells like freshly mowed grass; you can hear the buzzing of a bee and the giggles of your friends. and eren is there, rubbing circles into the back of your hand. maybe everything is okay. 

as you settle back into his lap, the pain in your heart begins to dissipate. everyone you love and care for so deeply is here and healthy, acting as normal teenagers should. eren leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“eren?” you ask as he pulls back. his eyes are on his friends in the distance, a look of adoration on his features. he hums in acknowledgement, still watching them. 

“yes, pretty?” you smile at the nickname. 

he looks back down to you, teal eyes glinting in the light. the way his soft hair sways gently in the wind soothing you even further. 

“will you read to me?” you continue. the question causes eren’s face to soften. he nods tentatively, pulling the book up. you watch as the green leaves rustle. 

“the choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness, and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better....”

<3 <3 <3

[kenthoescore]

Unrequited

Major S4 Spoilers! Read at your own risk.

Jean Kirschtein x GN!reader

wc : 1.4k

cw : character death!

---------

He loved Mikasa.

It was common knowledge in the 104th cadets. There would be days where Jean would do nothing but stare and adore her from far away.

Jean can’t love other girls the way he does with her, that was another fact, but you were stupid. Too stubborn to acknowledge his feeling towards Mikasa, you were too obsessed with the idea of Jean falling in love with you instead of her, but you weren’t too stupid to risk your friendship with Jean.

It was better to have him as a friend rather than being strangers.

You were chuckling whilst watching Eren and Mikasa’s squabble, when Eren saw Mikasa carrying boxes twice as many as he was carrying, he probably felt so small witnessing that. Those boxes were heavy, even after working out every day you still struggled to carry those.

‘How can I be like her?’

“Oi! Get it moving!” Jean said from a distance, sweating profusely.

You can’t help but stare as he slightly flicked his hair back and wipe the thin layer of sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. You didn’t miss his eyes glance towards Eren and Mikasa.

You ignored it.

For many years, you looked at Jean the same way he did to Mikasa, which made you feel like shit. You knew you couldn’t make a move on Jean, his heart simply belongs to Mikasa, no matter how hard you try.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Marley declared war.

Eren attacked Marley.

Armin has blood in his hands.

Sasha died.

Things were getting out of hand, you had to watch Sasha die in front of you. You had to choke back your tears as you watch Armin and Mikasa shake the dead cold body of Sasha.

Happy moments with Sasha flashed back in your head. Her love for meat, her smiles, and her laughs with Connie and Jean. The occasional times where you and Sasha were on a mission and she cracked jokes to make the atmosphere lighter.

The unforgettable time in the survey corps where she broke a potato in half and offered it to Keith Shadis.

Fuck.

The whole squad was silent when arrived back in Paradis. You have struggled to show emotions ever since, you cannot cry in front of them. You were already weak as it is.

You hid away from them, finally letting your emotions free. Running away from the base and running towards the woods where you and your friends rest when all of you were still in training.

The moon was out, the cold breeze was hitting your face, blowing your tears away as you sobbed uncontrollably, the soft rustle of the trees brought you some comfort. You were certain that no one was here, but you were mistaken, a tall silhouette sitting on the edge looking at the lazy river.

“Jean?”

Your voice shook slightly, trying hard to hide the sob that was threatening to escape your lips. He leaned back and glanced slightly to his right where you were standing, pathetically trying to hide your tears.

“Oh, it’s you.” He said, “Hiding?” he added.

“Not really.” You replied walking closer to him, your heart pounding with nervousness.

He didn’t reply, instead, he drank from the bottle of wine he was carrying. You watched him chug half of it.

“Stop. You’re going to kill yourself.” You crouched beside him, grabbing the bottle of wine from his hands, after noticing that it wasn’t his first bottle. Glass bottles scattered beside him, you noticed glass shards twinkling like glitter from afar, as they reflected the light from the moon.

You sat beside him and observed the bottle in your hands, you took a chug yourself, drinking the remaining wine. You cringed at the taste; it definitely wasn’t as strong as you’d expected.

You sigh.

“Just another day at the survey corps, huh?” you chuckled weakly, no humor in your words.

Jean didn’t reply. He didn’t seem to move, so you glanced at him.

Your heart thundered when your eyes meet his intense brown orbs. One of those emotions displayed in those eyes was the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. You can’t help but grab him and hug him tight.

Your heart breaking even further.

His sobs were soft as you held him to your chest, you feel his hands ball into a fist, holding into the white tee you changed into earlier. A few tears leaked out from your own eyes, gently, you rest your head onto Jean’s head.

He hugged you back, tightly. Almost as if he didn’t want to let you go.

You were each other’s comfort; you knew this was the first and last time you will ever get to experience this.

Many minutes passed, hours even. You don’t know how long the both of you were sitting in sorrowful silence. Both of your positions, unchanging.

Empty wine bottles were sprawled around the both of you, it almost seemed like Jean stole a whole crate. The whole time you were with him, your heart never stopped beating rapidly, it was almost hard to breathe.

It was almost dawn when Jean let go. His eyes were puffy and red, and he was drowsy.

You didn’t keep count of how many bottles he drank, but you were positive that it was uncountable with ten fingers. How is he not wasted?

“You like me.” It wasn’t a question. It was a declaration.

He slowly raised his head to meet your eyes. A brick was stuck in your throat, you couldn’t speak. You didn’t dare. In an attempt to escape the incoming rejection, you stood up.

“Y/N.” He called, making you stop in your tracks by instinct. You cursed yourself. You turned around preparing yourself, for what he was about to say.

His eyes searched in the depths of your eyes. He smirked; you couldn’t read him.

“You think I wouldn’t notice, didn’t you? Y/n.” He let go of your embrace and facing you with an expression breaking your heart. It was cold.

“Don’t hope that I’ll like you back after all of this,” he motioned to the surroundings, “I’m incapable of loving anyone else other than Mi-”

“I know.” You whispered, cutting him off.

Unconsciously, you lowered your head and stared at the grass. Tears watering the green grass.

Why did he have to say that? Out of all the moments, he chose to say that in the most painful moment ever. Well, Jean is Jean.

“My eyes!” Sasha screamed as the saltwater reached her eye.

Connie was laughing his ass at seeing Sasha’s reaction.

“Oi Jean! That’s saltwater, you idiot!” You tried warning Jean, but it was too late he already drank it.

“So saltyyy!!!” He screamed, you doubled over in laughter, witnessing his face crumple up from the taste.

When he recovered, he started chasing you while screaming loudly that you should also drink it. You could hear Hange speaking loudly and Levi warning Hange too.

Distracted by their little moment, you happily watched them from afar. You didn’t notice Jean approaching.

You were startled when you felt his big hand hold you and supported your lower back. Sasha was on his side with saltwater in her hands, while Connie was behind you pushing you closer to Sasha’s hand.

“No!” You protested while laughing.

Sasha moved forward, accidentally kicking your ankle causing you to lose balance. You were determined to not fall in the water alone so you grabbed Jean along with you, and Jean grabbed the other two. The four of you fell with a loud splash, and Levi calling the four of you.

All of you were laughing, you and Jean were looking at each other’s eyes. Sharing the moment of happiness between the two of you.

“You’re stupid too, you know?” You said, raising your head and meeting Jean’s gaze.

“I know, y/n. I know.”

The both of you shared a look that only the two of you can understand. He was the first one to break his gaze, and lay down the grass, staring at the sky.

That was your cue to leave.

“Goodbye.” You said loud enough for him to hear, and walked away from him and back to your room.

Jean was left in the silence of the forest, sighing as your footsteps fade away.

“If I come back alive from all of this, I’ll marry you, y/n.”

Jean loves you, more than he ever loved Mikasa.

You were the only thing, he loved so close, yet so far.

[unloved-cadillac]

(angst prompt 1) 1,9 and 10

modern au

reader is dating mikasa but mikasa and eren have been hooking up for a while even before they started dating so mikasa breaks it off and the reader wishes them the best and luck even though they are really sad and stuff but eren and mikasa doesn’t last very long to him being an ass and mikasa realizing she doesn’t love him like that and she tries to win back the reader but it takes a lot of convincing

C/n: whoa SHIT! You have no idea how much I love this request. It’s the perfect angst. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

Is It Too Late? (Milasa x Reader)

Mikasa laid next to Eren as she smoked a cigarette. Her arm propped behind her head as she looks at the boy who made a home in her heart ever since she could remember. Eren had been there for her ever since she could remember and to have him in more ways than one made Mikasa the happiest girl in the world.

Her thoughts are pulled away as her phone rings. The caller id made Milasa frown but she answered it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Mika! Hi, babe. Listen I’m at the grocery store and I saw this cereal you like. Captain Crunch or something? What flavor do you like?”

Mikasa runs a hand down her face and puts out her cigarette. “Uh, why..are you getting me cereal?” She asks and you stop looking at the cereal. “I just thought you’d like it. I saw it at your apartment and I just wanted to confirm.”

“Don’t get me anything, Y/n. I’ll get it myself. I gotta go.”

“Ok. Bye. Lov-..”

Mikasa hangs up before you could tell her but you just sigh and put the cereal back on the shelf. This wasn’t anything knew. Mikasa and you had been dating for a few months now and even though she was the one who asked you out, she seemed to keep a lot of stuff to herself. She shuts herself out from you and hardly makes time for you. You thought it was just the way she is but if Armin’s Instagram stories tell you anything, she had time. Just not for you.

When you arrive home, you unpack your groceries and shoot Mikasa a text.

‘Hi babe. I’m making dinner tonight. Come over?’

You wait for her reply and even though she was active she didn’t reply to you as soon as it delivered. You shake your head and put your phone down and begin to make your supper. Five minutes later, your phone dings.

‘I’ll come over.’

~~~~

As you were cleaning up from dinner prep, a knock sounds on your door and you smile knowing who it is. Checking through the peephole, you quickly unlock your door and smile at Mikasa. “Hi. Come in.” You greet and she walks in. She doesn’t take off her jacket, something she always did when she came over.

Mikasa turns around and scratches her head. You pick up on her sudden mood and you start to get a bit anxious. “Mika? You good?” You ask as you walk to the kitchen island.

“No. Listen, Y/n. We need to talk.”

Oh no. You stop fidgeting with your hands and lay them on top of the counter. “Sure. What’s up?” Mikasa sighs and looks at you. That look..it was so empty. Nothing. It scared the shit out of you.

“We..shouldn’t continue this.” She motions between the two of you. “I’ve been seeing someone else and I just feel like what we have isn’t what I need right now.” She says and you lips part. Did she really just say..that she was seeing someone while dating you? “Mikasa. You were cheating on me?” You ask and she nods. You scoff and look down at your hands which were shaking.

“How long?”

“Ever since we’ve been together. Actually, way before that.” Mikasa tells you like it was so normal. Like it was a thing everybody does. “Is that why you hardly had time for me?”

Mikasa nods and you furrow your eyebrows. “How are you so calm about this?” You cry out and Mikasa looks up at you. “I don’t know. Y/n, Eren has been..” “EREN?! Eren fucking Yeager? Are you kidding me? The friend who introduced me to you? The person you told me that he was a “close” friend of yours? Well, obviously I was mislead about that.” You run a hand through your hair.

“Y/n, listen. I love you and I love him. But it just so happened that Eren and I seemed, I don’t know, better together?”

You look at her, dumbstruck. “How can you love two people at the same time? That’s ridiculous. I don’t even think you love me because if you did you would never have done this. We’re over now. You don’t need to defend yourself anymore. I hope that you’re happy with him.” You start to walk to the door and open it. “Y/n.”

“Please, Mikasa. Leave me alone.”

You tell her and she walks out the door. When she turned around, the door gets slammed on her face and she sighs. Well, at least she didn’t have to sneak around anymore. She lights a cigarette and makes her way to her car.

~~~~

Three months later, Mikasa laid on Eren’s bed as he played on his Switch. She looked at him and ran a hand on his bare chest but he clicks his tongue. “Mikasa move your fucking hand.” He shrugs her hand off and sits up and groans. “Now look. I fucking lost.” He rolls his eyes at her and wakes up rom his bed and heads to the bathroom. After he shuts the door, Mikasa leans up and sits against the headboard.

Normally when you and her chilled on your bed, you always had a limb on her no matter what you were doing. And you would always kiss her whenever you had the chance. She missed having that affection.

What is she doing? Why were you clouding her mind all of a sudden? It’s not like she still loved you...did she?

Mikasa opened her phone and went straight to her gallery. The stupid, funny selfies that you took of yourself were still there and she watched the videos you sent her. The one of the flock of cool birds flying over you. The cute dog you met. Everything.

Eren didn’t even send her pictures or a text apart from telling her to come over. She missed seeing your name pop up on her screen at 4am to tell her the weird dream you had. She missed how happy you made her feel. She missed those little moments with you.

She missed you.

Quickly putting on her pants and shirt, she headed for the door and left Eren to go back to the person she took for granted.

~~~~

When Mikasa arrived at your apartment, it was locked. Looked like you weren’t home and she wanted to call you but she was certain you had blocked her number. So she waited for you. And waited. And waited.

Finally, a car pulled up and you stepped out of it with..another guy. You smile and kiss the guy’s cheek and face your door to see Mikasa sitting there.

“Mikasa? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” She asks as she shoves her hands in her pockets and you roll your eyes. “The last time you said that I found out you cheated. So no. We can’t talk.” You say and shake your head. “Please, Y/n. I won’t take much of your time. Please.” Her voice trails off at the end and puts her head down.

The guy you came with whispered in your ear and you smiled. “Okay. I’ll call you later.” He smiles and kisses your temple. When the guy leaves, you cross your arms over your chest and stare at Mikasa.

“Who’s that?”

“Why do you care? What do you want, Mikasa? Why are you here?”

“Can’t we talk inside?”

“No.”

Mikasa sighs and bites her lip. “I..broke up with Eren.” She whispers and you chuckle. Mikasa did not like that. She hated how there was so much of mock in that chuckle. “And? What am I supposed to do about it?”

“No. You don’t understand. I broke up with him because I love you.”

You sigh out an irritated breath and shake your head. “Mikasa, you can’t do that. You can’t come here after three months expecting me to take you back because you “love” me,” you say with air quotes, “you cheated on me. If I did the same thing would you forgive me? If I betrayed your trust like that would you forgive me?” You ask and she walks to you.

When she reaches for you, you slap her hands away. “Y/n. Let’s just try again. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I love you. I always have and I was so stupid for thinking that I loved Eren too. I’m an idiot. I’m a selfish, self-centered idiot who broke up with the only person who loved me for me.” Mikasa let a tear fall from her black eyes and you felt your heart stop. You never saw her cry before since she always wanted to be the strong one in a relationship.

“Every day for the past three months, I hoped you would call me. Not even to say anything sweet. Even if it was just for you to cuss at me, yell or anything. I just wanted to hear your voice. You made me feel so loved and all I did was throw it away. I just...want a second chance.” She looks deep into your eyes and you shake your head. In all the time that you knew Mikasa, she never showed emotion. In the words she was telling you now, it had more emotion in the entire time you dated her.

Mikasa holds your face and close your eyes. “Please, Y/n. You’re the only good thing in my life and I can’t go on without you. Please.” She kisses your forehead.

You slowly pry her hands away from your face and wipe your tears. “We can’t try again. We would only come back to square one. Arguing, bringing your cheating up again. Mikasa, it’s broken. We can’t fix it anymore.” You whisper and she shakes her head. “No, Y/n. Don’t say that. You’re my whole heart, Y/n. Just give me a chance. I’ll be better. For you, for us.” She rests her forehead against yours as she holds your hands.

It’s silent. The sounds of passing cars and rustling leaves filled the void and you couldn’t give an answer right now. So you pulled away and cupped her face. “Let me..think about this. I need time.” You whisper and she nods. “I’ll wait for you, Y/n.”

You let her go and head inside your apartment before giving her one last look. Maybe this could be saved.

——————————————————————————

“You’re my whole heart.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

[mimiwrites2000]

Blue Meeting Blue

AO3 ~~

Pairings: Armin x Annie

Side Pairings: Jean x Pieck / Gabi x Falco:

Words count: 2010

* spoilers for ending of  manga

inspired by this fanart by Bella (_superspicy on twitter)

Summary:

When Annie looked in his eyes, the world stopped spinning, time froze, air halted. The waves in the ocean quietened, the forests' rustles ceased, and the wind subsided. For a moment, peace engulfed the world, the chaotic place wrapped in a fragile silence.

To witness the blossoming love in the youthful hearts.

the day of their wedding was finally here, Armin and Annie, the world waiting for them, and they were ready to face it, as one.

Husband and wife.

a one-shot about Aruani wedding, based on fanart by Bella (_superspicy on twitter)

His heart drummed in his ears. The lump in his throat enlarged into a coarse rock, impossible to swallow. His throat tight on his windpipes he could barely breathe.

He tried to compile the tips he read a few days earlier; deeply breathing and a smile.

He failed miserably at both.

“Armin?” 

He brushed his suit.

“Armin?”

He shifted his weight from one feet to the other.

“Armin!”

“Yes!” Armin jumped, searching around him, catching a few glances from the small crowd.

“Why are you not responding?”

Armin turned around and-

“Oh, Connie, I’m sorry, I’m just- you know, I was just-” Armin shook his head, waiting for Connie to somehow decipher the concoction of words he threw at him.

“It’s ok,” Connie chuckled, running his hand up and down Armin’s back, “it’s your wedding, it’s ok to be nervous.”

Armin thought about it for a moment, clicking his sharp crispy shoes on the wooden floor: “I’m not… I’m not nervous…”

“Excited?” Connie retorted, raising an expecting eyebrow at Armin.

At that, Armin blushed.

“Oh come on,” Connie laughed, nudging Armin, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Armin turned around, combing his hair down with his palms, his eyes scrutinizing the invited. Less than twenty people seated in rows, the joyous anticipating guests shifted in their seats, smiling at Armin and waving. The humble place densed with close friends and family. As ambassadors, their compulsory position obliged them to have another big, huge wedding, inviting the allied nations and every political face ever. A just-for-show kind of celebration, glazed in fake smiles and formalities. Armin and Annie had an innate dislike for these occasions. But they would have to do it either way. For now, they would live every moment of this homely, small wedding. 

They didn’t go venue hunting. Historia offered her own warehouse (that was attached to her farm house) to hold their wedding; they couldn’t say no to that. 

The warehouse transformed into a cozy, traditional hall, rows of velvety pink chairs aligned in straight lines, breaking in the middle to form a path overlayed with a shiny white carpet, leading up to where Armin was waiting. White flowers decorating the humble place, with golden fabric draped in soft curves. It gave off the family atmosphere Armin and Annie strived for. 

They couldn’t have it any better.

Gabi and Falco settled in the last row, Falco shamelessly and most likely unaware of himself openly-swooning over Gabi, both in summer outfits, Gabi’s dress flowered from the top to the bottom, Falco clad in a brown modern suit. Gabi was either oblivious to Falco’s hypnotized state, or she acted oblivious. Armin decided it was the latter.

Jean was sitting beside Pieck, facing away from each other. Armin sighed, they probably got into another fight. Since they started dating two years ago, their relationship had been on and off all the time.

Armin moved on, but the movement of Pieck’s hand took his attention. Slowly, she slithered her hand next to Jean’s, touching it slightly… a moment passed, before Jean sighed, intertwining their fingers.

Armin couldn’t stop the smile pulling at his lips.

A few seats next to them sat Reiner, his mom by his side, passionately whispering something in his ear. Reiner looked so out of it. 

When Reiner noticed Armin’s eyes, he smiled, paying him a small wave, with a gesture to his ring finger.

Ah

His mother’s whispers were nothing but pestering him about when he’ll get married. Armin laughed, shaking his head.

Armin’s eyes halted on the first seat at the far right, where his childhood friend sat, clad in a crimson red dress, her hair touching her shoulder, a dust of make up adorning her face. Mikasa smiled at Armin, a proud smile. The proud-mom-smile she wore whenever he did anything she was proud of.

She was proud of everything he did, every single thing he did since they were only nine.

He waved at her, she nodded in response.

He could never forget Mikasa’s reaction when he told her he would propose to Annie.

The tears, the hugs.

Happiness overflowed out of her.

But soon enough, they both crumbled on the floor, hugging each other, sobbing, lamenting whispers escaping them. Eren’s name slipped every now and then.

Armin swallowed, looking at his feet. The bitter sweet roughness of that night would remain in his mind for as long as he lived.

Someone joined the seat beside Mikasa.

It was Hitch.

Gorgeous.

Armin thought. She did look so pretty, her hair slightly curled, in an off the shoulder navy dress that overflowed in a soft skirt.

She waved at him, he smiled and nodded.

Then she winked, raising her thumbs.

Armin furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t understand, but nodded anyway.

Connie was having enough of Armin’s ignoring game; he cleared his throat and said: “Hey, by the way, how did you ask Mr. Leonhart for his blessings?”

“Oh, uh, well…” Armin started, flashbacks of that day at the forefront of his mind.

Even though they had been engaged for over a year, Armin still remembers that day as if it was yesterday.

Well…

“Well, he said that if I don’t treat Annie well, he will take my life with his own hands,” Armin said, shrugging his shoulders, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“What?” 

“Yeah, I mean, it was easier than I thought, if I’m being honest with you.” 

“Oh God.”

“No it’s not that shocking, besides, he supported me and Annie from the beginning,” Armin replied.

“I can’t believe it,” Connie’s eyes fixated on a spot behind Armin.

“Well, I don’t know what you exactly think of Mr. Leonhart, but-”

Connie clicked his tongue, pointing behind Armin.

Armin turned around and-

It was her.

“Annie…” he whispered.

Standing there, arms tangled by her father's.

A simple dress, a peasant dress; puffy sleeves with ruffled edges that beautified her updo hair. Pastel pink contouring the dress’s folds, adding a variant of flowery accents to it. A tight brown bodice hugged her waist, making the flowy skirt finely pleated into cascading silky waves. Something about it reminded Armin of a field of pink flowers in a spring afternoon.

The slight blush on her cheeks, her bangs framing her face, boldening her beauty.

The memory of gazing at a crystal in a cold basement from a few years ago struck Armin.

But the cold was replaced by warmth.

A warmth that traveled from Armin's toes to the tip of his nose, a feeling he never experienced before. He wanted to scream, jump in his spot, like a toddler in a candy store, but he also wanted to hug himself, cage himself in a corner, and cry.

When Annie looked in his eyes, the world stopped spinning, time froze, air halted.

The waves in the ocean quietened, the forests' rustles ceased, and the wind subsided.

For a moment, peace engulfed the world, the chaotic place wrapped in a fragile silence.

To witness the blossoming love in the youthful hearts.

The warmth reached Armin's eyes, his sight blurring.

His lungs caught fire, and despite feeling suddenly hot, his hands were freezing cold.

A thousand thoughts swarmed his mind in the short period of Annie walking up to him. It took approximately a minute, perhaps two, but for Armin, it felt like eternity. A labyrinthine he was very willingly getting lost in.

When she reached him, at the altar, not a single breath left him. His sight was blurry and eyes burning. His whole body shook with every sob he tried to suppress.

Someone held his hand, Armin looked down, and through his blurry eyes, he saw Mr. Leonhart’s gripping his hand, his hold a bit tight.

Mr. Leonhart took Armin’s hand, raising it. In his other hand, he held his daughter’s hand.

He guided Annie’s hand to Armin’s, placing them on each other, before clasping them in his strong grasp, holding them for a while. He looked at Annie, nodded at her with a smile, before he turned his gaze to Armin.

Mr. Leonhart leaned towards Armin, whispering in his ear: “I would kill you.”

Armin laughed, though his mouth opened but no voice came out.

Mr. Leonhart descended, walking to his seat, dabbing at his eyes.

At that moment, Armin’s world muted into a deafening, incomprehensible line. He took Annie’s hands in his. His eyes went up, from their intertwined hands, up to her collarbone; she wore a simple necklace, a small, silver circular metal hanging from it.

To anyone who wasn’t familiar with Annie, it looked like a normal necklace. 

But it wasn’t.

It was her ring.

Her infamous ring.

Armin’s wandering eyes reached Annie’s.

Blue meeting blue.

And that was the last trigger.

Sobs escaped Armin’s lips. He cried, tears flowing and cascading on his cheeks. He didn’t want to cry, it made his eyesight blurry and he wanted to see Annie clearly. He brought his elbow to his eyes, wiping his tears, only for new ones to flood.

He tried to stop them, gritting his teeth, biting at the inside of his cheeks, squeezing his eyes shut.

He couldn’t, all his attempts leading to more sobs and tears.

Warm hands on his face made him flutter his eyes open. With a handkerchief, Annie softly dabbed at his cheeks, a smile small on her lips. Her eyes were glistening as well.

Armin focused on her eyes, and slowly, took deep breaths.

Sobs subsided, and tears stopped streaming down his face, clearing his vision.

She cupped his face in her hands, and brought him down, capturing his lips on her own, a quick kiss, lingering for a bit. Armin kissed her back, closing his eyes briefly, before she pulled away. She pulled far enough to look into his eyes, but close enough to feel his breath on her face.

“Ahem ahem.”

Both almost jumped at the sound, turning their heads. The priest stood there, a smile on his lips.

Only then did Armin and Annie realize that the small crowd was giggling.

“You jumped off a few steps there,” the priest said, nudging his head towards them, eliciting extra chuckles from the crowd.

Armin pressed his lips, looking at Annie. She was already looking at him, her lips pressed as well. They exploded in a fit of laughter, before they calmed down, and the ceremony went on.

From the priest’s concise sentences, Armin presumed that the priest knew that Annie and him couldn’t wait to get married.

Rings slipped in their fingers, in their left hands, so smoothly, as if they were always meant to be.

Armin’s heart beating faster as they tiptoed closer to the ending of the wedding.

“And now,” the priest announced, taking a step back, “you, Armin Arlert, may now kiss the bride!”

They held each other's eyes, before Armin wrapped his arm around Annie’s waist, pulling her closer to him, and kissed her.

They kissed many, many times before.

But that kiss felt different.

Their first kiss as husband and wife.

Armin pressed his lips against Annie’s, feeling her heartbeat against his own wild one.

Cheers and claps erupted from the crowd, quiet sobs mixing with them.

They pulled apart, fighting against the magnetic force drawing them together.

Armin held Annie’s hands in his, running his finger on the ring, glistening in the light.

Annie was his, and he was hers.

“My husband,” she whispered, her voice an inch from breaking into tears.

An involuntary smile pulled at Armin’s lips, before he leaned towards Annie, resting his forehead on hers: “My wife.”

She shook her head, rubbing their foreheads together.

“My wife,” he said again, “my wife,” his voice getting louder, before he turned to the crowd, lifting up their intertwined hands victoriously in the air, screaming out: “my wife!!” 

Laughs and more claps burst, guests standing up in the process.

As the bride took the groom’s arm, the newly married couple made their way, taking a new step in their lives, together, forever and ever. 

.

.

first time writing a wedding, well, that was a wild ride hahahaa

I tried to write the feelings I got when I first saw Bella's fanart, I hope I got them right! this was a sudden one shot that I'm so glad I gave a shot and wrote, it was a very blessing experience thank you so much for reading!! If you guys liked this, I might write a second chapter but from Annie’s pov, sooo tell me what u think uwu aaand of course, any feedback is much appreciated!!

[aickerman-s]

ok regarding rivamika promps i got a few. rivamika set in high school rivamika set in 1800s - maybe victorian london? or pride and prejudice inspire rivamika wwII - maybe mikasa being a nurse and treating wounded levi? levi being a teacher in college and mikasa being his student

Hello! You might be wondering why I’m only now answering this prompt from (let me check the archives...) a year ago 😅

I was reading through some of my unanswered prompts, and while I won’t be able to respond to all of them, I happen to have been on a big Jane Austen binge lately, and I’ve always wanted to write something inspired by her. Your prompt (Pride and Prejudice) reawakened some inspiration, and now I want to write a new series!

So before I post it on AO3, here is a sneak peek! Chapter one of my new Regency-Era fic, Fear and Fidelity. <3

---

Chapter One | Petals and Grasshoppers

Her hair swaying in the breeze, and the hem of her dress tugging and tracing the wildflowers below her, Mikasa strolled through the wide-open field, taking deep breaths of the fresh country air. A loud chirping caught her attention, and she stopped a moment to kneel and search for its source. After a moment she found it: a grasshopper loitering lazily on a daffodil stem. A nostalgic smile glanced across her lips.

She watched it a moment longer, as it continued its dance, before setting back off on her trail. She enjoyed every moment of the peace and quiet: the caress of the grass at her ankles, the sound of a babbling brook across the way, the chirp of the grasshoppers. She closed her eyes, knowing all too soon that-

“Mikasa!”

She sighed, not out of frustration, and turned with a smile to see Eren tearing through the bed of daffodils; petals and grasshoppers alike flying up behind him.

“Careful, Eren,” another voice called, “you’ll get dirt all over your uniform!”

Mikasa noted the mud and the grass splattering Eren’s newly polished militia boots, and leaned to the side to peer behind him, laughing as Mr Arlert followed in his path of devastation with slight trepidation. He, unlike his friend, presented himself very neat and proper in his navy gentleman’s coat and top hat, and walked at his own pace, not to be rushed.

“That’s what soap and water is for!” Eren called over his shoulder, turning to face him. “Don’t be such a spoilsport-”

His sentence was cut short by his cry, as he slipped in a patch of mud, whirling backwards and disappearing into the grass below. Mikasa blinked, until she heard Armin’s familiar laugh and Eren’s familiar grumbling. She laughed along as he offered Eren a hand, only to be pulled down into the grass beside him.

“Eren! My suit!” he cried, genuine concern in his voice. It was not reflected in Eren’s, who seemed to have regained his humour. Mikasa hopped over to the overgrown patch where they fell, careful not to slip in after them. Her shoes were already in need of a scrubbing after her walk, and she intended to hide them from Mrs Jaeger under a clean hem.

As she approached, the noise went silent.

“Eren? Armin?” she called. She couldn’t see them. As soon as she registered the rustling off to her left, she leaped, jumping off to the right just in time to dodge Eren’s lunge. What she didn’t expect was to jump straight in to Armin’s – he caught her off guard, and with a shriek, they together managed to pull her down into the mud with them. She did not worry for her dress for more than a second; not when she was surrounded once more by the laughter of her closest friends. Sitting in the grass, they greeted each other properly: with hugs not normally deemed appropriate in any more public a setting.

“You’re both a couple of children,” Mikasa beamed, taking in their faces. Yet children no more: Armin had now surpassed her in height, and his newly shortened hair accentuated his sharper jawline. Eren still had that slightly wild and excited look in his eye, as she suspected he always would, but his hair was long enough to tie back in a ribbon, and his broader physique filled the cut of his new militia uniform nicely.

“I have missed you both,” Eren smiled with great warmth, looking between her and Armin. “It feels like forever since I saw you last.”

“It has only been a few months, Eren,” Armin replied, but with an equal warmth, “but they have not been quite the same, have they Mikasa?”

“Not at all,” she replied. She stood, brushing down her skirt and smoothing the hair that escaped her bonnet. “I’ve certainly not been quite so muddy.”

“Oh, come now,” Eren scoffed, “where’s the harm?”

“Your mother will string us up when she sees us like this.”

Eren straightened his shoulders, “Perhaps when we were little, she might have. I’m a military man now, and I’m quite grown enough not to get a scolding from my mother.”

“You might be grown in age,” Armin sighed as he joined them, “but I know you shall never be grown in sense. On that, you have my word.”

“Shocking, Armin!” he scoffed, “Do you hear the way he speaks of me, Mikasa?”

“I do,” she nodded.

“Have you nothing to say?”

“Not in your favour, I’m afraid.”

Eren huffed as Armin chuckled, offering his arm to escort Mikasa out of the field and back to the main road.

“Will we be attending the ball tomorrow?” Eren asked, loud enough for them to hear as he followed behind.

“A ball?” Armin called back, “Whose ball?”

“Well, it’s less of a ball and more of a dance. I believe it’s being held in honour of the returning recruits,” he added with a grin, “such as myself.”

“I don’t suppose we could well refuse, if it’s in your honour,” Armin replied sarcastically.

“I can introduce you both to the rest of my cohort!” Eren skipped to catch up to them. “Some of them at least; some are not worth introducing.”

“Both of us?” Mikasa asked.

“Of course. Don’t tell me you still don’t like a dance?” Eren sighed.

She lifted her chin slightly, “Not particularly, no.”

“But you are a fine dancer!” he cried. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t think that is quite the point, Eren.” Armin cut in. He glanced at Mikasa, then added softly, “I heard Miss Carolina is recently engaged?”

Mikasa hummed in acknowledgement.

“My,” Eren said, “There was barely any room in mother’s last letter after listing all the engagements. Our peers are growing up fast, aren’t they?”

“Faster than us, it would seem,” Armin replied with a strained smile.

They walked for a few moments longer.

“I can’t imagine any of us getting married.” Eren murmured, to no one in particular. They continued walking, but for a moment, each of the three silently considered that statement, and found that they agreed.

“Not to imply you will end up a spinster, of course!” Eren turned suddenly to Mikasa, panic in his eyes.

Mikasa smiled, and shrugged, “I take no offence, Eren. I am perfectly aware of myself, and I agree. I enjoy my own company and each of yours far too much to pursue someone else’s. At present, I have no desire to change that.”

The two men smiled at her.

“Does that mean you aren’t coming to the dance, then?” Eren asked, a little downtrodden.

Mikasa shook her head, “There will be no way out of that, I fear. I shall go, but I will have to settle for being a tad unsociable,” she smirked, “and spending the evening eating puddings with Sasha.”

[smallblip]

Mouth open, you’re high.

Jeankasa (+ mentions of Levihan) | Rated for sexual content and religious imagery(?)

Prequel of sorts to Come down when you’re ready.

It’s on Ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110722

This world is purgatory. More than suffering and punishment, it’s a test. A test of how the flesh crumbles and falters under the weight of temptation.

But Mikasa is only human, and nights like these where the alcohol flows free like rivers, she thinks it’s only human to falter. The aching only gets stronger when she locks eyes with Jean from where he’s seated between Hanji and Connie across the table. 

He smiles at her, a sort of comfortable contentment that alcohol conjures easily, pulling at the corners of lips. She returns the smile. Without thinking, her fingers move on their own accord, tucking her hair behind her ear.  The fluttering in her chest only grows stronger when Jean settles into watching her laugh when Sasha spills her wine on Levi’s top and he nearly bites her head off before Hanji intervenes, “now now Levi...”

Mikasa looks at the deep burgundy spreading, tainting each fibre upon contact. 

That’s going to leave a stain.

Jean’s expression reflects the weakness of a man in love, and Mikasa aches.

The night stretches on because Hanji indulges them sometimes. There are so few of them left, and the addition of the new recruits fail to restore their numbers to former glory. They watch the new recruits train with seasoned scepticism and it’s getting increasingly hard to ignore the intrusive thought that come with increased frequency as they approach the eve of their mission- so many are going to die.

But tonight the alcohol flows like rivers, and it’s easy to pretend to be the unbreakable. To be young and formidable. And Mikasa must now decide if she wants to stay and gossip with the others about their two superior officers, or if there are other, better things to indulge in.

“They’re at it again! Did you see how Captain Levi trailed after Hanji san?” Connie makes a sound like the cracking of a whip, and everyone laughs. There’s not much to talk about these days, and the topic of their superiors fratenising is a sure hit, meaningless gossip to distract from everything else.

“What do you think they’re doing?” Sasha asks, earnest.

“Playing cards... What the fuck do you think they’re doing Sasha!” Connie replies, and soon the two are bickering.

Mikasa looks over at Jean, who has a smug grin on his face, his palms are propped against the table, readying himself to leave, “they’re fucking. There. End of debate.”

“Jean!” Armin says, already he's blushing. This sends Mikasa into a fit of giggles, easily stirred by cheap wine and liquor, and Jean lingers a little on the sound before waving at them, one hand in his pocket, casual. “Night, ladies...” he says, and amidst the new chatter that has arisen Mikasa takes it that a decision has been made. She excuses herself and trails behind Jean. She’s led by base instincts alone as she feels her mind slip from her body. There’s a moment of consciousness amidst the haze, like a candle in the fog. A voice whispers into her ear- you’ve been good Mikasa. You shouldn’t-

She wets her fingers against her tongue and pinches at the wick. The flame extinguishes and she prays she doesn't dream of perdition. It’s been so long, and the only thing she can focus on right now is the memory of Jean’s body against hers, firm and unwavering. Something in her awakens, she feels a pull towards him, a pull she doesn't attempt to explain anymore.

Anticipation reverberates through the perfumed hallways of this nice Marleyan inn. There is only him, only Jean. And like the sun and the ocean at dusk, they come together in a burst of bright light.

Jean locks the door to his room behind him with one hand, the other focused on helping Mikasa with his buttons. She kisses him with searing urgency and she feels almost guilty that she’s like this because of the alcohol. That she's this brave because of the alcohol. Because she's been too afraid to seek solace in him since Eren left. Mikasa isn't capable of such cruelty. But now the alcohol is pulsing hot through her veins amongst other things and she needs Jean now. Needs him to promise her he won’t stop until pleasure is wrung dry from her.

This is purgatory and she’ll pay for her weakness, but she hopes there’s enough grace left in her to get out of her clothes before Jean looks up from undoing his belt and sees her fumbling like a fool. They’re both clumsy but the humour in the moment is lost behind lust and soon he’s hovering over her on sheets that are far more luxurious than she remembers.

She doesn’t realise how she’s kissing- all hard edges and quick pressing and unpressing until he swipes his tongue over her bottom lip, “mouth open, Mikasa,” he says, impossibly gentle for the way his fingers are threading through her hair the way she likes, ready to tug and coax and urge.

She does and the taste of hard liquor on his tongue is sin. It’s intoxicating and her head spins. The boundary between heaven and hell now threadbare. Her hands reach out for more, and she finds what she’s looking for between his legs. Jean groans into the kiss and she whines when he untangles his hands from her hair, fingers coming to circle around her wrists instead.

He pins her hands on either side of her head- she freezes in the posture of exaltation, where she’s both the communicant and the object of worship. He grinds his pelvis against her belly. Lower, she wants to demand, lower where it feels like heaven. But she’s patient, good things come to those who wait, and soon his fingers find their way down the side of her body, down between her legs. His lips follow suit, planting kisses like rain along a trail, past her neck, her ribs, her navel.

Jean looks at Mikasa, awestruck. Her lips part as she gasps and writhes under his ministrations.

He drinks from the fountain, and it’s easy to pretend they will be young forever.

Mikasa is a soldier, so all it takes is a little swivel of her hips to switch their positions. His back hits the mattress with a little grunt.

“Sorry...” she says, a little embarrassed. But he gives a little chuckle, and already he’s coaxing her towards him and kissing her stupid. She lowers herself on him and that is all it takes for his eyes to roll to the back of his head, hands catching at the curve of her hips, digging into soft flesh, he grits his teeth.

Mikasa has her palms flat on his chest, feeling each rise and fall. She feels the strength of his heartbeat and she wants to cry. She wants so badly to pretend they are immortal, but this is purgatory and Mikasa has already taken a bite of the forbidden fruit. She awaits her punishment of hellfire.

Mouth open, Jean, she wants to coax- just one bite, it tastes like like ambrosia. But his lips are already parted, he says her name over and over again, as if in prayer.

Jean stills her hips when there’s a knock on the door-

“Jean!” It’s Armin. In her drunken haze, Mikasa feels the urge to laugh bubbling in her chest.

“Jeannnnnn!”

A giggle slips past her lips and Mikasa slaps her hands over her mouth, leaning closer to Jean. “Shhh...” he says gently, stroking at her thigh. Mikasa trembles with more expectant laughter. 

“Jean!” Armin tries at firmness, voice commanding. Eventually he gives up and they hear him mutter a “ah forget it...”

That sends the both of them shaking. Jean is making a strangled face, biting down on any sound his body threatens to make. There’s another groan at the door and the sound of footsteps retreating down the hallway. They laugh when it’s quiet at his door, long and indulgent. And in the coming days Mikasa will share looks with Jean whenever this memory pops into their heads, and they’ll snicker like school children. And they wouldn't tell when the others ask them what's so funny- it's their secret, a little light that shines for two in the darkness. 

In between laughter, Jean reaches out a hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Mikasa’s ear. The warmth of the moment stuns her into silence. Mikasa only exists in this moment, and it's so brilliant that she forgets why they are here in the first place. Who they are here for in the first place. She thinks about this when she’s alone in her own bed- laughter, then, the brush of fingers against her cheek. The thought spreads a deep burgundy through each thread and synapse in her mind, and something squeezes in her chest like a vice.

This is going to leave a stain.

Mikasa is on her back now, and she begs him not to hold back. She wants to see him. Only him. He wouldn’t hurt her, at least not in ways she doesn’t want. She sees stars, and she says his name over and over. There is only him. Pleasure crashes over her like waves.

“Mikasa I’m gonna-“ he says, but she’s already on her knees between his legs, lips parted in anticipation-

she drinks him up.

“Fuck Mikasa... Goddamn...” Jean says, and when she smiles up at him, sheepish, he knows she’s his dream girl.

Jean thinks Marley is purgatory, a stop between earth and heaven/hell. But they’re collapsed in bed, completely spent, a tangle of sweaty limbs, and he thinks this might actually be heaven. But Jean knows it’s getting increasingly hard for Mikasa to pretend she’s alright. It’s getting increasingly hard for them to pretend that the world will be forgiving to young lovers. Lovers or-

something else entirely?

Something simplified by the amalgamation of blood and alcohol, something to indulge in. A lifting of the lid to let off some steam. Something painfully human.

Jean remembers them as children, arguing over a boy he has learnt not to hate. You are going to follow him straight to hell, he had said. Oh the irony. Looks like they all have. Jean remembers asking her to figure out what she wants before knocking on his door, and the anger that came after. He learns that it’s not his right to push.

He stops thinking about the past when she shifts, sheets rustling against their ankles. And there’s only her again. Her back is against him now and something like dread crawls up his spine. Then again, she never stays the night. There’s something far too intimate about that to even imagine.

“You alright?” He asks.

Mikasa hums a reply, her hands reaching behind her, patting and grabbing until she finds what she’s looking for. She pulls his arm and wraps it around herself.

Jean hugs her in response, I thought you were leaving, he wants to say, I don’t want you to leave, but he doesn’t. Instead, he feels a pang rippling through his body, settling in his chest like hot wax, burning through every fibre of his being as she hugs his arm flush against her.

This is going to leave a stain.

Jean’s head is spinning, but that’s a problem to deal with tomorrow. In a few days they will see him again- the boy he wants to hate but finds himself unable to. Don’t worry Mikasa, we’ll bring him home... he had said to her, but deep down he wonders if the boy will want to come home. If he will go to the ends of the earth for her. Because Jean would.

There’s loud singing from somewhere and they’re both sniggering again, a rumbling shared between her back and his chest. “Armin finally managed to hit that note...” Jean says, in between laughter.

There’s another booming voice that might be Connie joining in and Mikasa’s belly hurts from laughing. Jean wants to live in this moment forever- her eyes like crescents, completely uninhibited.

“But seriously though... If they don’t pipe down soon I’ll go down and shut them up myself...” Jean says, recalling the many times the singing lasted through the entire night until his friends scream themselves hoarse.

“I’ll go with you... I’ll borrow your knife. Mine is in my room.” She quips, one part confidence, two parts alcohol, and three parts drowsy.

Jean chuckles, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder, “you are absolutely terrifying, love...” he teases.

Love, Mikasa thinks about that for a moment. How beautiful it sounds. Like light that peeks through clouds, reaching towards the earth to kiss her face. My love... she thinks it in her head, testing, tasting, she lets her soul gravitate towards the feeling as she drifts off to sleep.

Mikasa stays the night, and in the morning, she watches as surprise spreads across Jean’s face when he wakes up with her still in his embrace. His right arm has gone to sleep but he doesn’t complain, watching with careful wonder as Mikasa slips her dress over her head. He stops breathing altogether. There’s something fragile about this moment, like if he breathes, reality will come tumbling from the skies and break his neck. But who knows, he could already be dead and this is just his version of heaven.

Mikasa is chuckling, smiling at him like the sun rising out of the ocean at dawn and he doesn't even realise he's staring-

your mouth is open, Jean...

—

“What were you and Jean doing last night?” Sasha asks, still earnest, still completely clueless, nursing a splitting headache. They’re packing their things, like travelers at the mercy of the tides. Mikasa looks around at her fellow comrades in purgatory, gaze stilling when she catches sight of Jean and his handsome, bashful smile. Mikasa tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The smile lingers on her lips as she offers a reply Sasha probably doesn’t hear-

“Playing cards...”

<part of a series>

[lunarfanfics]

Jade & Sapphire

I wrote this out of inspiration from this amazing idea this anon gave me

I hope this is okay! I may have changed some things. I’m also pretty curious about how Eren is managing to still be sane when he has the memories of like four other people within him all rampaging about. Well.... five now I guess.

Relapse

He saw her cry again. He watched helplessly, as tears ran down her cheeks, dyed crimson from the numerous cuts on her face, he could hear her choked sobs so clearly this time. Before it was just the sound of distant weeping echoed in pitched darkness, before it was just silhouettes, but now he saw- and he heard, so vividly, it was as if these memories were his own.

Were they his own?

“Grisha,” The woman turned to him, on her knees she sat, with her arms bound behind her. Her blonde hair matted to her face from sweat, and blood. Those savages. And even if she were sobbing, she kept her voice steady, perhaps to show him that she was not afraid of death, and neither should he be. “It’s okay, It doesn't matter what monster they turn me into,”

A man held a needle above her neck, the needle punctured her nape. His pulse raced. The needle. The serum. It’s the serum. It’s that dreaded serum!

“Because I’ll come find you.”

His heart plummeted, and so did the woman. Right down into the Island of the Devils. Where she herself transformed into one.

“Eren?”

He watched, and he screamed for her countless times, he wailed her name. Tearing out his own hair, cursing his own traitorous son. Damning him. Damning them. Then a hand was on his shoulder-

“DINAH!”

“Eren!” He was shoved backward, he felt himself fall, limbs loose, flying, before the back of his head banged against solid wood.

With a pained groan, Eren’s eyes slowly opened. His sight was met with two women who stood above him, staring down at him, one with worry, one with pity.

The one who pitied him was dressed royally, in white, Her goldspun hair tied into a neat bun, a shining crown sat upon her head, sky blue eyes observed him, seeming apologetic, but for what?

“Historia.” he croaked. The Queen. His Queen. “What…?” He blinked, then he turned his gaze to the other one, and was met with coal black eyes, dark hair, and darker clothes against pale skin, a scar on the left side of her cheek, the scar he’d inflicted on her when he had first lost control of his titan. He remembered.

“Mikasa, what’s wrong?” Mikasa knelt by his side, helping him to sit up, dusting off the dirt from his arm.

“Eren,” Historia came to other side, “You were daydreaming… again.”

“Again?” He turned to her, “What do you mean? Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head, solemn as she appeared, “No, Eren, you were hurting yourself…” Historia pointed to his hands, Eren looked down, emerald eyes widened a fraction as he took in the bits of familiar brown hair that stuck out in his fists, his chewed up bloody nails… his bruised knuckles.

He... did this? What the hell was wrong with him. What was going on in his own head?

With one hand, Eren clutched his right wrist, trembling as he brought it up to his face.

“This is my hand.” He meant to only think those words, but both The Queen and his childhood friend had heard him. Mikasa squeezed his shoulder, brushing away some tendrils of long hair that fell over his eyes. He’d hardly bothered to keep trimming anymore, he looked so much like a person who lost his all in the war. Mind, and body.

“This is my hand.” He said again, more firmly. He needed to believe he was himself, with no anchor to hold him down, he felt his sanity drifting away into dark waters, the deepest parts of his mind.

“Yes, it is.” Mikasa enveloped him in an embrace, yet even that felt pitiful. “It is.”

Commander Zoe Hange, 14th Commander of the Survey Corp, sat behind her desk, hands folded in front of her. She took in the sight of her young shifter- the dark purplish rings around his eyes, his unkempt hair, fatigue in his mannerism and his fidgeting from her scrutiny.

Was this the very same boy that she had come to respect and rely on four years ago? He seemed like a completely different person from the boy he’d been. Well… she supposed change did come with growth, and maturity. She recognized that familiar heavy weight of guilt that sat upon her own soldier's shoulders, she too must go through the same thing, time and time again. It is just the protocol for war. Death begets death begets death, and so on and so forth. It was crucial to have a mind of fortitude and bear it all.

And Eren, for all purposes, was in fact, bearing it all, and more.

“Eren.” He sat up straight in his seat, hearing his own name seemed to pull him back into reality. “I hear you’ve had… another incident.”

He said nothing.

Hange leaned forward. Cutting right to the chase. “I understand you’ve had a lot to endure in the last couple of years, we all had. But I feel that, you aren’t being very vocal about it as the others. All of us here must work as a unit, Eren. That’s how things get done. And for you, our biggest asset in this upcoming mission, to suddenly be having these… episodes of memory loss-”

“It’s not.”

“Pardon me?”

Eren sighed, his gaze fell to his hands. “It’s not memory loss, i-it’s,” He sighed again. “They’re not even my own memories, but I keep remembering them like they were, all of them, not just my father’s.”

Hange sat back, perturbed, but she listened intently.

“I feel like I’m trapped,” Eren swallowed, “I feel like… my freedom has been taken from me, my will, like I’m losing my identity, like I’m slowly forgetting what parts of me are actually me.”

Hange closed her only eye for a moment, when she opened it again, the exhaust etched into every crevice of Eren’s face was so apparent, that even she recoiled. It truly was like he was a different person. Sapped of life, of his youthful energy.

“The mission-” She spoke, but held her tongue. Their final mission was of utmost importance, but how could she bring that to attention when Eren was not even in the right state of mind. They needed him. But they needed him sane, too. “My apologies, Eren, I still don’t grasp how a shifter’s access to their previous holder’s memory works, but I’m trying to understand. It it like a relapse? Do you go into a trance like state?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I do, or what things I say, all I know is that whenever it happens, I don’t just relive the memory, I feel their emotions too, everything they’ve ever felt in that moment,” Eren pressed his fist to his heart, “I feel it too, and it’s like I’m there, like I am them, and they are me.”

He was losing it. Hange thought as she took in his words. Eren was losing sight of himself, of his touch with those around him. He had called Historia ‘Dinah’, he had once referred to Mikasa as ‘Kiyomi’. Despite Hange’s curiosity of these people, and knowing they’d probably be crucial information tidbits to their mission, she refused to bring them up in this meeting, or Eren’s vicinity in general. If he heard those names, he would relapse again, she foresaw it. Her soldier’s sanity was more important to her than anything.  

“Eren, I want you to be ready for when we cross that sea, I need for you to be able to suppress those memories that overtake you, bury them, forget them, otherwise, they’ll ruin you, they’ll wring you out until there is nothing left of Eren Jaeger. Do you understand?”

Eren huffed. “I wish I could, but they come to me even when I don’t want them too, no matter how hard I try to resist.” He sounded broken, “I can’t be helped, I’m sorry for becoming such a liability, Commander.”

Hange rubbed her temple, leaning into her seat as Eren wallowed in being a burden to his peers. There must be some way. She tried to think of anything that could reel Eren back into their world when he became lost. If it was not Mikasa, if was not Armin, nor Historia for all her resemblance to the Fritz line. Then who?

An alarming idea purged its way into her thoughts. She pushed back, but that only made it stronger than the rest.

Maybe it was not that he needed a loved to bring him back. Maybe…

Hange eyed him. Eren sat stiffly. If the one’s he saw in those memories that weren't his, are loved ones of the past shifters, then the only other way must be through… an enemy. Someone he could never love. Someone he remembered through pure trauma.

“Commander?” Eren’s voice snapped Hange from her reverie. Immediately she stood from her chair, “Eren, come with me for a moment.” She paced to her office door, unlocking it to step outside. Eren followed obediently.

“Where are we going, Commander?”

“The dungeon cells.”  

He blinked. “For what?”

Hange smiled thinly, “To pay an old friend a visit.”

Drip drip drip

Water that leaked from the cracks of the stone walls.

Rustle rustle rustle

A rat scurrying off into it’s hiding hole with yesterday's rations.

Clack clack clack

The sound of the night guard's boots pacing outside of her cell.

Clack Clack Clack- Kreeen

She sat up, what was that? The sound of another door opening? Was supper already being served?

Clack Clack Clack - Clack Clack CLACK

More booted footsteps abruptly stopping right outside, more than one. Two. There were two people, and then-

“Ah! Commander, I didn’t expect to see you down here, is there an emergency? Why is Jaeger here?”

Red-rimmed sapphire eyes widened. Jae-ger?

“I asked for him to accompany me, how has she been holding up?”

“Quiet. As usual. Won’t eat much, and her chamber pot is nothin’ but piss. Not that I’m complainin’, probably the worst is her stench though, girl could use a bath, Commander, not that I feel sorry for her, but I’d rather not take care of a prisoner that smells like rotted ass.”

“I’ll see to it.”

There was some shifting, another step, quick. Anxious.

“Are you okay, Eren?”

“I just-”

His voice. She closed eyes. She remembered that voice…

“I don’t think I can, she’s- it’s been so long.”

Why did he sound so pained?

“Three years may be a long time, Eren. But not once have you ever gone down here, you never even went to her trial. I realized that this girl may be one of your biggest obstacles yet, perhaps, if you spoke with her, face your demons, you might feel more at ease.”

Inner demons? She laughed mentally. What was this lunatic woman speaking of? She heard a soft sigh, then a, “Yes, Commander.”

“But… what if she doesn’t to face me?”

“She has no choice in the matter.”

There was a jingling of the night guard's skeleton keys as he approached the large plated cell door. Through the metal bars of the small window, she saw his beady black eyes glare down at her form. “Wakey, wakey, Princess.”

The heavy door unlatched, and slowly creaked open, the firelamps of the halls bathed them in an orange glow. Her two visitors. The Commander confidently strode in while her underling lingered behind every two steps.

“Hello, Annie.”

The door slammed shut behind them. A gust of wind followed, threatening to blow out the firelamps her visitor’s had brought with them.

“It’s been a while.” Commander Hange was cold, and course as Annie remembered her being, with that hint of insatiableness in that one amber eye of hers. What did this crazy woman want this time?

“You must be wondering why we’re here. There’s no real reason as to why I’m here. I’m only here to escort Eren.”

“Commander, you won’t be leaving will you?” Came his anxious voice.

From behind the Commander stepped forward a tall lean man. He was broad shouldered, he had a tapered waist, long legs and long hair tied into a low ponytail. While his eyes shone bright emerald from the flames, there was little life in them. Who was this man? Annie scrutinized him. This couldn't be Eren, could it?

“No. But I will be observing this conversation, should anything get out of hand.”

A nod, and then he finally turned to her. “Annie… you remember me, don’t you?” Eren placed down the fire lamp by her bedside, he dragged the chair the night guard often used to sleep outside on to the front of her bed. He sat down, wringing his hands together as he drank in the sight of her disheveled state. She did the same with him. Those once vibrant eyes of his looked so drained…

“I haven't seen you in years, your hair is so long… don’t you put it up anymore?” He asked. Such a stupid question, too. Her hair fell at her waist now because she could not use scissors. She was not allowed sharp or pointed items within her cell- she ate food either with a spoon, or her hands, and wrote with a piece of lead. They kept her alive, maybe, partially groomed, and she also hadn’t bathed in a week, she wondered if Eren picked up on the smell- she felt the slightest bit self-conscious of it.

“I probably look different to you too, huh?” Eren attempted to smile, but it was fruitless. Something was bothering him.

“Like a wreck.” Annie tried to go for light tone, but her voice was dry, and rough from misuse.

“Yeah,” Eren shrugged, “I haven’t been in my prime for a while now.”

She could see that so clearly from his appearance to his body language.

“It… It looks different outside too. We regained Wall Maria, rebuild many of the stuff we’d lost.”

She knew that, too. Commander Hange was quick to inform her after they had cracked opened her crystal like an egg.

“Even our customs are changed,” He cleared his throat, “We gained insight on many technologies, they’re inventors and engineers in the walls now. More than there ever was. New recipes are being made every day, the wall’s have really been flourishing in these past years.”

Annie wished she could feel something as he spoke about his home to her. But all she felt was dread. An ache in her heart. Father. Then of course, there was recalling the gruesome details about the death of one warrior. It made her shoulders slump, and her head hang low, to even think about it. Eren stopped talking of the walls as he picked up on her mourning.

“Is Reiner…” She looked to Eren, “Is Reiner still alive?”

Eren chewed on his bottom lip, he turned his attention to his Commander who’d been silently watching the exchange from a corner in the cell. “I believe I told you this before,” Hange folded her arms, “But no matter. Reiner had escaped four years ago, along with your War Chief. It was Bertolt who was sacrificed to save Armin. It was… Our previous Commander’s choice.”

Annie was quiet for a moment. “... I see.” It hurt. Whether Bertolt was an acquaintance, or an ally… or maybe even a friend. It still stung. All of them dying. Being plucked from there roots, and thrown onto the ground. Soon Reiner will also pass on, and then the Chief, such was the way of their life, of a warrior. Of a damned titan shifter. She hated who she was more than she hated these people who chained her to these cell walls.

Eren watched her. “I never wanted to kill him, Annie.” He spoke steadily, like he was refraining from an outburst. Was there still a bit of the Eren she once knew in this empty shell of person sitting before her?

“But he gave me no choice.”

“No- I just forgot who had died is all,” Annie sniffed, she could feel her eyes sting- no matter how much she's cried, she would never run out of tears, “I don’t want to talk about this. If we’re going to discuss something, let it be about your world, or your people, or any other thing I don’t give a shit about.”

Eren leaned back into his seat, wearied. The Eren she once knew would have jumped from his chair, and tear her apart with either his words, or his hands.

“This is war, Annie. I know you lost people, but I’ve lost more.” He leaned forward, forcing her to look into his eyes, the firelamp casted eeries shadows on one side of his face, and he looked like a completely different person. His voice trembled. “I’ve lost so much more than just the lives-”

“So this is a contest now?” Annie seethed. How dare he?! “Who’s suffered more? Who’s lost more?! Have you gotten a good look at me Eren? I don’t know if you knew this, but I will expiring soon, sooner than you think-” She threw a nasty look to the Commander- “My body will rot away, my bones will turn to dust on this shitty bed. But maybe before all of that, you’ll eat me, or feed me to Armin. I’m sure he’d be so thrilled.”

Eren screwed his eyes shut. He stood from the chair, turning his back to her.

That angered her even more so.

“What’s the matter? It’s the truth. It’s what will happen. And you know if you steal my shifter power, I will haunt you. Even in death, I will find you, Eren, and I hope that then, maybe, you’ll understand what real suffering is.”

He stayed silent. Back turned. There were was a single tear rolling down Annie’s cheek, she scrubbed away at her face until her cheeks burned bright red.

“Look at me, Eren.”

He didn't.

Annie growled. “Look at me!”

“NO! DINAH!” Eren swung around.

Just as soon as that name left his mouth, he recoiled. Blinking rapidly as if he were being blinded, Eren clutched at his head. “You see?” He exhaled, “I’m  already losing my mind. I can see it too,” Eren gave a breathy humorless laugh, “You lost yours as well.”

Annie could not understand what was going on with him. Or what he was talking about. Who the hell was Dinah?

“No you innate bastard,” she spat, “You still just don’t know how to talk to girls.”

Eren snapped his attention to her, he looked alarmed rather than hysterical this time. Green, green eyes narrowed at her, as if picking apart her words. “What?”

Then he clutched at his head once more. “... Commander?”

Immediately Hange was by his side, lightly touching his arm. “Eren, are you okay? How’re you feeling?”

There was a long pause, because Eren was too busy regarding Annie in a way as if he were seeing her for the first time. As if they were on the training grounds of the 104th camp, all those years ago.

“I- shit. My head, it kind of hurts.”

Annie was intrigued, the anger she felt seconds prior turned to ash. Was this… a test?

“Come on than, Eren, I think we’re done here for the night.” Hange shared that same intrigued look with Annie. It was. Eren was quick to leave the cell just as soon as the night guard unlatched the door.

If that one amber eye spoke volumes to Annie, it was that the Commander was definitely up to something, as she always was.  

Before the Commander could step out of the cell, she turned to Annie. “We will continue this tomorrow, early morning. Be awake then.” Then she was gone, and Annie was left in the shadows once more.

Her back hit the hard cot bed, she threw her arms over eyes.

Eren, what happened to you?

[attack-on-my-emotions]

Love Your Series Day

Instead of doing a big long post about how much I love Attack on Titan, I decided to put moments that stick out to me and my reaction to when I first watched them

The moment when Hannes picks up the kids and ran and Eren’s mom’s “Don’t go” had me shocked. I HAD to know what would happen to the characters after that. I haven’t watched a lot of anime but AoT has the strongest first episode I’ve personally seen

When Eren got eaten. I was in straight up confusion and denial. I thought either someone is gonna open the belly of a titan and Eren will be saved and then get a mechanical arm and leg, but knowing the official art had him with normal limbs I then thought it was a bad dream someone was having (like Armin). The anime just kept going with no Eren and I was not expecting him to show up again. I was like “omg they literally killed the main character, you can’t do that, can they do that?” the relief and still confusion of Eren coming out of his titan was fantastic to experience

I know kid Eren just stabbed a guy but when he backed up and closed the door, it made me laugh more than it should

I got that Eren was the main character, Mikasa is super strong and dependable in her skills, ……but Armin? I wasn’t sure what “use” he was to the others. Then episode 10 happens when he gives that powerful speech and I knew then his place in this world

Blocking the gate in Trost, that whole scene when we start to see the boulder moving to when Eren finally places it is just so amazing to watch

When Reiner got “squashed” by the female titan and comes out of it with the swelling of the music. I am such a nerd for when music fits a scene just right

Pretty sure my heart stopped when the female titan kicked titan Eren’s head off

Seeing Levi take on the female titan was epic and I knew that moment why exactly he had the title of “Humanity’s Strongest”

It’s a small thing but I really liked how Eren was hiccuping while crying and covering his mouth with his arm. I felt that so much

When I first saw the beast titan….whoooo boy was I sitting there like “WTF IS THAT??” and then it sat down and TALKED. It’s one of the best moments I’m thankful I just got into AoT as season 2 was airing and didn’t get spoiled of anything

Seeing Sasha get spotlight and have it be badass was what made me love her character more

Connie’s titan mom speaking “welcome home” made me have the same expression as Connie

Ooooohhhh my god was the reveal an important part. When it was done so calmly like a normal conversation I was sitting there dumbfounded. That whole scene is just unbelievable with the animation, music, and voice acting. Definitely THE highlight of season 2

Hange doing their excited noise when Eren understands the orders they give him. That made me laugh

Connie stomping on Ymir’s titan head calling her ugly is so funny to me. Like when Reiner says he wants to marry Historia

Historia jumping into action as Barricades kicks in. I had to replay that a couple times, I live for that shit. It got you pumped and the animation going with it was perfect

Hannes dying and Eren falling into a fit of crying laughing oof Kaji did a wonderful job bringing that scene together with his voice

Beasty boy appearing at the end of the season I (jokingly) said “DAD?!” because ya know the glasses look a lot like Grisha’s and well yeah

OVAs

Distress was the one where the exact moment we see Marco at the end saying “I wonder what kind of soldiers everyone will be” and it does the character-looks-off-in-the-distance-with-the-wind-rustling-their-hair I got sad and said to myself “well damn….now I feel bad for not caring that he died before” XD

I would’ve put manga stuff too but I don’t remember having many moments that stick out. Though I do remember reading chapter 77 and was a waterfall of tears as I was saying “ohh noo OHHH NOOO” over and over XD Also seeing the freckled boy in a panel and having to cover my mouth cause I was close to screeching. When I first got into AoT and finally settled on a character, Marco was the one. Now that I’ve been in the fandom for a year and thanks to people talking about how they love their own favorite characters, I’ve gained much appreciation for characters I wasn’t paying much attention to! Season 3 is going to suck now that I like those characters, yay for pain 😅

[gingermemequeen]

Empty Beds (Eremika Week Day 3)

Summary: In the aftermath of battle, both Eren and Mikasa cannot sleep when their minds are filled with nightmares. They crave something, but what?

Rating: K+ | Words:1530 | Read on AO3  FF.net

A/N: Eremika Day 3: Longing. Set Post-Ch.50 (or Season 2 finale for the anime). Enjoy :)

Empty Beds:

Eren has been taken again, but this time, she cannot reach him. It is a nightmare that often plagues her mind as well as a daily thought that consumes her. Within her dream she frantically calls his name, but there is no response. She does not know where to look this time. She has no leads or clues. He is missing.

She cries out his name once more and awakens suddenly from her nightmare. She immediately sits up on her bed and looks around the darkness of the room. Beads of sweat pour from her body, and she glances down at the mess she’s made of her sheets.

When she reaches up towards her face, she finds tears. She slowly wipes them away and turns around to witness the gentle rain pattering the window. Mikasa takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself, then slowly sinks back down into her bed.

Even when she rests her head on the pillow, she knows she can’t sleep. She knows Eren is safe and here, but she is still troubled. She longs to see him, to make sure he’s safe and that it was really all a dream.

Mikasa rolls onto her side and glances at the wall, continuing to listen to the rain. She clutches her bed sheets tightly to her body, and remembers that sometimes she’d sleep in Eren’s bed when they were younger and she was adjusting to her new life with his family. They have never shared a bed since then, but tonight, she craves to be with him more than ever, in hopes that it will cure her continuous nightmares.

But what will he think? He won’t want me there, will he?

She rolls over and gazes at the ceiling, knowing that sleep will not be coming any time soon. The others are calmly sleeping, which Mikasa envies almost. She sits up again. She decides to just check on Eren, to make sure he’s in his bed. Then she’ll go back to sleep.

She lightly touches her feet to the cold wooden floor and quietly leaves the room, making her way down the hallway.

…

Eren sees Mikasa’s ribs being crushed over and over again. He hears her painful cry echo in his ears. He, too, tosses in his sleep. His mind has been plagued with nightmares before, but never of her.

Eren lets out a gasp as he awakes, but as soon as his eyes settle on the ceiling, he knows it was just a dream, that Mikasa is all right, and they’re not battling titans right now. Still, an uneasiness sets over him that he hasn’t felt before.

Something changed that day they almost died. His concern for Mikasa’s well-being has grown, and nightmares of his mother’s death have been replaced by her.

“Eren, are you all right?” comes a quiet whisper from across the room.

Eren turns and spots Armin, awake in his bed. Eren nods his head, but he still feels uneasy. He knows Mikasa is asleep in her bed, that’s where she always is, but a growing concern spreads over him.

“I’m going to get some water,” Eren decides. That will clear his head for now. Then he can rest again. He wraps a blanket around his shoulders and exits the room. When he’s had a drink of water and feels refreshed, he guesses it’s time to return.

Still, his eyes look toward the hallway where Mikasa sleeps, and he wonders if he should check in on her, just to be safe. His feet slowly move down the hallway until he notices a figure moving toward him in the distance.

He approaches cautiously, then pauses as he realizes it’s Mikasa. Her eyes lock onto his, and both pause for a moment, surprised.

“I was just--”

“--Coming to look for you,” they both cry out.

A silence settles between them.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Mikasa asks quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.

“No. You either?” Eren questions.

Mikasa nods.

“Nightmares aren’t fun, are they?”

Mikasa shakes her head. “No, I suppose not.”

Eren lingers in the silence. He can still hear the sound of raindrops lightly coming down on the roof. Mikasa glances around and wraps her arms around her.

“Hey, aren’t you cold?” Eren asks.

“Yes, but—”

Eren reaches for his blanket and wraps it around her. Mikasa clutches on and holds the blanket close to her.

“Thank you,” she murmurs. There’s a pause again, and she glances at him. “I-I guess I should head back.” She begins to turn around when Eren speaks out.

“Hey, wait,” he says. He doesn’t know what compels him to do it, but for some reason, he longs for her presence right now.

Mikasa turns around again, waiting for him to speak.

“Um…” Eren rustles his hand through his hair. “Do you want to stay with me, like…like when we were kids? Maybe the nightmares will stop then. I just thought…” His voice trails off.

“Won’t it disturb the others?” Mikasa questions.

“Armin won’t mind,” Eren promises.

“Okay, then,” she agrees.

…

Mikasa follows Eren down the hallway, her heart pounding. She did not expect to run into him, nor did she expect to stay near him tonight, even though it was what she was desiring.

She hugs the blanket tighter around her and follows his lead. She wonders why he was up too. She wonders if he was looking for her. A silly idea, but…why else did he want her near him?

Eren quietly opens the door and peers through.

“Everyone’s asleep. Come on,” he says, motioning her forward. Mikasa quietly follows behind and stops at his bed. She places the blanket down on his bed again and watches as he crawls in and lays down. Mikasa still stands there, unsure.

“Come on,” Eren whispers. “I’m not going to bite.”

Mikasa obeys and slowly crawls into his small bed. It is still warm, and slowly, she begins to relax. He reaches over her and folds the blankets over her shoulder.

“Thanks,” she mutters.

There is not much room for them to spread out, and so for a moment, each of them lay there in silence, attempting not to touch the other. Mikasa longs to move closer to him, but she knows Eren likes his space and…

“Hey, Mikasa, is it okay if I…” He scoots a bit closer to her so that their legs touch and rolls onto his side to face her.

“Yes,” she replies quietly. His hand drapes over her shoulder as she moves closer to him. She rests her head against his chest and feels the soft beating of his heart. Finally, she is at peace and closes her eyes.

“Good night,” Eren mutters.

“Good night,” she replies.

…

Eren listens as Mikasa’s breath softens, and her chest moves up and down against his. He lays there, feeling her warm body against his, and feels comforted.

When he awoke from nightmares tonight, he knew he wanted to see her, but he did not realize he longed for this, to feel her breathing beside him. He glances down at her peaceful face, feeling for the first time like he is protecting her. She looks so fragile beside him that he wonders if she has nightmares like this every night.

Slowly, Eren’s eyes become droopy. He leans his head closer to hers, feeling her hair tickle his face. His eyes close, and their breaths inhale and exhale together as the night fades away.

…

When Mikasa awakes the next morning, Eren is gone. She reaches out for the warm body beside her, but all she finds is cold sheets. Her heart sinks slightly, but she feels more refreshed than normal.

The entire room is empty, and she quickly slips out to prepare for the day. When she finally does see Eren at breakfast, he greets her like he normally does, and they carry on with their day as if nothing happened.

Eren’s refusal to acknowledge last night at all makes Mikasa think if it was just a dream, but it couldn’t be. Even if she didn’t wake up beside him, he was there nonetheless.

Eren is kinder to her than normal today, but that is the only real acknowledgement they share. And Mikasa is okay with it. She continues with her day, and Eren continues with his, and that night, they sleep in their own separate beds.

But even then, when Mikasa falls asleep, she reaches her hand forward into nothingness, wishing he were there.

And when Eren falls asleep, he reaches his hand out for her, but knows she is asleep in her own bed.

As the night passes, they both sleep, but in the midst of their dreams, each longs for the other more than normal, and when they awake to empty beds, the longing, though subdued, still remains. But for now, they must carry on with their day.

[ackbang]

About Pet Names

tropes: dad!eruri, husband!eruri, eruri trust™, erwin & armin that time armin doesn’t want to wear a jacket.

another story for “short stories about sad old men” > ao3 link

“Erwin Smith’s office.”

As children often do, they lost the possession from their parents when misbehaving. “Your son wants to talk to you.”

Erwin leaned back in his chair, the cord of the phone swaying like a tiny suspension bridge from him to his husband. He didn’t keep his cellphone on him during the work day, and Levi did a pretty good job of calling him when he was bored at home. “I’m busy, darling. Can’t you…”

“I tried to get his jacket on him, but he wouldn’t stop complaining that I was putting it on wrong.” There was a ruckus on the other end accompanied by a screaming cry. “Armin, please.” The phone cracked and gurgled, and his voice could be heard distantly as the crying hiccuped and wailed again. A rustle came across the receiver again as Levi brought it back to his face. “He says I don’t do it like Papa Bear does.” Levi’s voice was wounded. Out of the three kids, Armin took the most to Erwin. Levi was the one that was always around the kids, though. Being a stay at home dad for the past year, growing into being the caretaker, he didn’t openly admit that it hurt when all three of them didn’t trust in him completely. “He missed the bus, and I can’t get him to just…”

“Did you button from the bottom up?”

“Yes!” Levi said, his voice breathy, as if the answer was so bloody obvious.

“Papa!” Armin screamed from the other end.

“Talk to him, Erwin.”

Erwin fanned a stack of paperwork on his desk, breathing out quietly through his nose. He had too much work to do, but there was still a smile on his face. He loved his family more than he could even comprehend possible. “Put him on.”

There was another rustle and tiny, heavy breaths fluttered across the phone. “Papa!”

“Good morning, my corn muffin. What’s wrong?” Erwin’s voice was soft and careful. Calm and unstirring as a frozen pond.

“Daddy tried to...” Armin paused to breathe, the tears evident on his voice, so overwhelmed with emotion that it twisted Erwin’s heart. “Daddy tried to put my jacket on but he was doing it wrong and I told him he was but he wouldn’t listen and I told him how you do it but he didn’t!”

“Daddy’s just trying to help.”

“But I want you to do it!”

“Honey, I can’t be there. Papa’s at work.” There was a wailing again, and Erwin pinched his fingers to the bridge of his nose. He could almost feel Levi doing the same in response. “Armin, do you remember what the doggie did in the book you read last night?”

Armin’s breathing was heavy, gurgled with snot and raspy from screaming. “Y-yeah.”

“What did he do?”

“H-he… Let the other doggies play with his ball and he made friends.” “That’s right. Weren’t you going to bring in your toys to school today to show your friends?”

“... Yeah.”

“Well, you can’t go to school unless you put your jacket on.”

There was silence on the other line. “Can I button it myself? Like you do?”

“Of course, honey.”

“Can I go to the library too?”

“You’ll have to ask daddy.”

The phone rustled, and Armin’s voice, distant but noticeably more bubbly relayed the question. “He said yes!”

Erwin smiled, and nodded to himself. “Make sure you get something that your brother and sister will enjoy.”

“Okay!” “Can you put daddy back on the line?”

“Uh-huh. I love you, Papa!”

“I love you too, buttercup.” The rustling was back, and Erwin could hear the heavy sigh from the other end.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

There was the relief, but it was still hurt, frustrated, and a little rattled. Levi had never had to call with such a debilitating loss. Normally it was a call that celebrated the victory over the agonizing morning routine. Levi, Erwin’s knight in shining armor, slaying down the dragons of cranky toddlers with buttered toast and bunny-ear tying shoelaces. “I never thought it would be this hard.” Levi said softly.

“They certainly don’t come with instruction manuals.”

“Yeah…”

Erwin was quiet for a second, picturing the sleepy bags under Levi’s eyes, the dejected look across his face. So tired, but so happy now. Happier than he could remember. “You’re doing great, Levi.”

“It’s just a fucking jacket.”

“You’re doing great.”

Levi sighed.

“I love you so much.”

“Well, I guess I’m going to the library now too. Thanks. That kid is never gonna make it to school.”

Erwin laughed, deep and swelling with a pride that made his stomach warm. “Sorry, babe.”

“You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“I am.”

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yes. Have fun with my son.”

Levi snorted. “I always do. Love ya.”

“Love you too.” And with that, Erwin hung up the phone and brought his chair back to an upright position. He stared at the phone in its cradle. So much had changed in the past year since they adopted the kids. The stray granola bars in his briefcase, the mini-van, the Cheerios under the couch. The husband that smiled more. The kisses on four different eyelids, all the bedtime stories, the proud little smiles of a finger painted drawing. He longed to go home to see them all, wanted to be around them all the time. He never thought he’d be a family man. There was never time for it--he was too old. But Levi had changed all that. Armin, Eren, and Mikasa proved that he was actually quite good at it.

They gave him everything, and he wanted to give them the world.

That night he brought home flowers, a fresh set of sharpened crayons, a book a grade above Armin’s supposed reading level, and a foam sword. He wrapped each one of them in a strong embrace until even Mikasa griped about how tight it was. He kissed each forehead asleep as he tucked them into their beds. He swept back a piece of stray hair on his husbands face, dragged his thumb across his lips as they laid side by side in bed.

“You’re a good father, you know that?”

“I didn’t feel like it today.” Levi closed his eyes, pursed his lips against Erwin’s finger.

“I disagree. You’re our rock.”

“No, you are. I’m the river that’s going to grind us all down until you see you don’t need me anymore.”

“Don’t say that, sweetheart.”

Levi opened his eyes again, grey and tired, but not red rimmed. Before this, before they were married, back when Levi was even hesitant to share a bed with him, he’d looked into those eyes and ached for them. He’d seen so much, had a will that was so shattered that it was still mending. The scars on his skin imposed by past demons from others and from himself, pink and puffy--one he used to kiss hoping they would disappear. So beautifully broken, and so preciously healing. He was capable of so much, had so much love to give. And he had chosen Erwin.

Erwin pressed his palm to his husband’s warm cheek, dragged the smaller man into his chest and brought his lips to his. “We’re all so lucky to have you, precious.”

Levi’s eyes were hidden by long lashes, they blinked as they stared off into Erwin’s shoulder. He finally looked up, met Erwin’s eyes, and smiled weakly. “Papa Bear.”

Erwin smiled in return, and kissed the final forehead for the night with a long drawn out need, as if it would quell all of Levi’s insecurities, all his fears. And maybe it did for a time. Erwin sighed contentedly into dark hair as he heard the soft rumbling snores of his husband in his arms.

[gingermemequeen]

Salty Waves (Eremika Week Day 7)

Summary: Eren introduces Mikasa to the ocean for the first time.

Rating: K+ | Words: 1627 | Read on AO3  FF.net

A/N: (MANGA SPOILERS WARNING). Sort of AU where the Survey Corps don't all reach the ocean together and Eren wants to show Mikasa the ocean on his own. Thank you all for reading my works for Eremika Week 2017! This was the first time I've ever participated in something like this, so thank you :)

Salty Waves:

She can hear the sound of crashing waves behind her. They are faint, but it a sound she has never before, and she listens intently. A select few are enjoying the warm sand and gentle waves while she stands here with the other members of the Survey Corps, keeping an eye out of any titans.

She longs to know what it looks like, how salty the water is, how the sand feels beneath her feet. But this is something Eren and Armin must discover first. After all, this has something that has bonded her two dearest friends together. She wonders what they must be feeling right now.

The others are quiet, probably imagining what their first glimpse of the ocean will be as well. She closes her eyes briefly as well, trying to imagine what it all looks like. She thinks of large rivers and rippling streams, but she knows it must be something bigger than what she has ever imagined.

"Mikasa, it's your turn," comes a familiar voice.

Mikasa turns around to find Armin wrestling with his 3D Maneuver Gear as attempts to put it back on. His hair is dripping wet, and his clothes are coated in beads of sand. She nods and takes a step forward, only to be confronted by another.

Eren stands in front of her, wearing only a loose top and pants. His hair is wet too, and his feet are also covered in sandy residue. But his eyes shine brighter than ever.

"Are you ready to see it?" he asks quietly.

The moment is more intimate than Mikasa expected. She slowly nods her head and follows him, leaving the others behind. The sound of the waves is louder now, and there's a smell of salt in the air. Yet, she still cannot see the beach or vast ocean.

"Leave your stuff here," he advises her, pointing to a pile of 3D Maneuver Gear and shoes by a nearby tree. Doing so makes Mikasa feels defenseless, but she complies and removes parts of her gear. The ground is prickly under her feet, but she longs to move forward and see what Armin and Eren have already seen.

"Okay, now, close your eyes," Eren instructs.

"What?" Mikasa responds. "I'm not going to—"

"Just do it," Eren replies. He isn't harsh in his response, but rather calm, almost in a way that consoles her. She nods and shuts them, and she feels his hand grasp onto hers. Energy races through her body, and she walks slowly, allowing him to guide her.

They are quiet as they walk, but she doesn't have to walk far before she can hear the water louder than ever before and the cry of gulls. She stiffens for a moment, but Eren leads her on, his hand still firmly grasped to hers.

They come to a pause, and Eren lets go only for a moment. She hears the rustling of leaves, and then his hand is back on hers again.

"We're here," he mutters.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Mikasa begs, giggling a little. Just those few moments she was walking in darkness were horrifying enough.

"Okay, take a step forward," Eren says calmly.

She follows his request and reaches her foot forward. Immediately, she is thrown off by the texture of the earth. Her foot sinks into warm sand, and she squeals.

Eren chuckles. "You haven't even touched water yet, and you're already scared."

Mikasa shakes her head and laugh. "No, no. It's just weird, that's all."

"Okay. Let's keep going," he says. "And no peeking yet."

She obeys and follows him, her feet sinking deeper and deeper into warm sand. Walking is more difficult here than back in the woods, and she grasps tighter onto Eren's hand for support. He squeezes back, though she is unsure why. He knows where he's going.

The sand suddenly becomes thinner and moist. It clings to the soles of her feet, and she can hear the water the clearest now.

"Are we there?" she asks quietly.

"Just a few more steps," Eren promises.

She takes a few steps forward, and then they stop.

"Can I open my—"

"No," Eren responds.

Suddenly, a rush of cold water swirls around her feet. She lets out a screech as the water retracts back into the body of water.

Eren lets out a laugh. "You can open your eyes now."

She finally complies. The sun is brighter here, and when she can finally focus on the world around here, she is in complete shock. Deep blue water lies ahead of her and appears to stretch for miles. She cannot see its end. It completely blends in with the sky.

She turns behind her, looking at the pale sand they trudged across. In front of her, foamy waves crash on the shore. As the next one rushes toward them, she backs up.

"What? Scared of the water?" Eren questions.

Mikasa narrows her eyes. "It's cold."

He walks forward and latches his hands onto her forearms, beginning to drag her across the sand.

"No, Eren, wait!" she screeches, partially laughing as he pulls her forward.

"We didn't retake Wall Maria just for you to get cold feet," he teases. A wave crashes once more, sending water up to her knees this time. She squeals but Eren pulls her further toward the ocean.

"What? No! How far are we going?" Mikasa questions.

Eren rolls his eyes. "We're barely in the water."

"So."

He continues pulling her, and despite her resisting, she finally gives in, and now they stand knee-deep in the water, both of her pants soaked. The water is cold, and Mikasa shivers slightly, but she hasn't seen Eren this energetic in ages. The last thing she wants to do is ruin his fun.

He grins and splashes his hand against the water, spraying water across her body.

She laughs, slowly getting used to the water and does the same to him. Eren moves away, and she pouts.

"No fair. You got me wet!"

He shrugs and moves alongside her. She glances down at the clear water beneath her, watching the sunlight ripple on top of the surface. Suddenly, Eren grabs her from behind, wrapping his wet arms around her torso.

She shrieks in surprise, splashing water with her feet around them. She turns around to face him, only to find herself caught in an embrace with him. His hands are still sitting on her torso while she's grasped onto his shoulders.

She finds herself blushing as he glances down at her with those glimmering light eyes. He seems in shock too and grins weakly at her while his hair drips salt water down onto his shirt. He pulls her closer, or maybe she finds herself pulling closer to him. She rests her head on top of his shoulder and wrings her hands around his neck. He smells of salt and the ocean breeze.

His hands wrap tighter around their back, and for a moment, they stand there, embracing each other as the water swirls around their legs. It is comforting, somewhat. She thinks of all the past battles and excursions they've had for endure, and for a moment, it is nice to be in silence.

Eren's hand reaches away from her and comes down on the water again, splashing her once more. She laughs and repeats the action, their small moment of intimacy now over. But she is not upset. They are not intimate people, anyhow.

When they grow tired of the waves and salty water, they move out of the water. The sun has just begun to set, casting its bright yellow glows against the ocean in a way that makes it appear even more colorful than before.

They emerge from the water. Mikasa shivers slightly, the breeze becoming more cold with the setting sun.

"Oh, wait here!" Eren calls and then takes off across the beach.

She sinks her feet into the warm sand, and within moments, Eren has reappeared with a towel. Mikasa sits down in the sand now, desiring to rest for a moment. Eren drapes the towel around her shoulders without a word, and she grasps it.

"What about you?" she asks.

Eren sits down beside her. "I'm fine," he assures her.

Nevertheless, she can see him shivering slightly, and she wraps half around him. They merge closer together, their shoulders and legs touching.

"How do you like it?" Eren asks after a few moments of silence.

"It's beautiful," Mikasa admits. Even now as she looks out from the shore, she cannot imagine a more perfect picture of scenery. The way the sky and sun contrasts from the water gives her chills.

"I think it's beautiful too," Eren admits. "I'm just so glad I got to see it." He reaches for her hand with his and squeezes it. "I'm glad we got to see it."

Mikasa grins and blushes slightly. "Me too, even if I was a bit skeptic of it at first."

Eren laughs again and shrugs. "I just wish it would be this peaceful forever. There's so much to do now. We're far from the true peace we deserve."

"Sh. Don't focus on that right now," Mikasa tells him. "Give yourself a break for once."

Eren nods and falls quiet again. Their fingers are still intertwined, and his grasp even becomes a little stronger. She scoots closer to him and rests her head against his shoulder. She can sense a bit of hesitation on his part, but he does the same.

And so they sit there, clinging to each other, bundled with a towel, watching as the sun's rays slowly descend the vast waters, each of them wishing for the quiet and comfort they all seek.