#running deformed series

[hypodermicfroggy]

= PROJECT MOON LORE GUIDE =

(I've posted a guide like this on Steam, but I figure it couldn't hurt to put an updated version on Tumblr, too. Also, a warning: This post is going to be very, *very* long.)

Hello, current Project Moon fandom and future/want-to-be fans!

Do you enjoy Limbus Company but don't know how to get into the other games and media to appreciate the greater lore of the series? Do you not actually have the money, time, or patience to endure a brutally punishing (and sometimes even janky) roguelike management sim, deckbuilder, or gacha game because we live in a capitalistic hellworld like the one this very series criticizes? Struggle with getting access to supplementary materials due to controversies and language barriers?

(Pictured: PM Twitter and the Limbus Steam Forums, on any given day. Seriously, what is wrong with some of you people.)

And especially important: hate how Reddit and Steam are full of dudebro coomers who are openly hostile to F2P, non-day one players who might grapple with all the previous issues on top of being more invested in story than waifus?

Then read on under the cut!

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This guide contains a comprehensive list of resources for you to be able to enjoy the Project Moon series to its fullest, including links to wikis, playlists, and more. Even if you can't play the games, I personally think those who can actually appreciate the series shouldn't be gatekept from the truly fantastic story and world that the games hold. Except Canto 6, we don't talk about Canto 6.

AND AN IMPORTANT REMINDER: THERE WILL BE SOME SPOILERS FOR CERTAIN PARTS OF THE SERIES, AND PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONTENT WARNINGS BEFORE YOU GET INTO ANYTHING HERE! This is a very dark series that tackles and shows very heavy topics and content!

For those who can't read the text on the image, some of the common trigger warnings for this series includes:

Animal Cruelty

Drug Use

References to Alcohol and Tobacco

Injury and Dismemberment

Homicide and Suicide

Violence and Torture

Cannibalism

Kidnapping, Abduction, and Captivity

Psychosis

Diseases, Seizure, and Dyspnoea (aka shortness of breath)

Familial Homicide and Domestic Violence

Reference to Clowns (Coulrophobia)

Themes of Occultism and Spiritualism

Audiovisual Depictions of Gore

Uses of Sharp and Pointed Objects

Hospital and Medical References

References to Gaslighting and Bullying

Body Modification and/or Deformation

Flashing Lights (Photosensitivity)

Disorientation Induced by a Shaking Camera

Strong Language and Demeaning Words

Reference to Traffic Accidents

Uses of Guns and Instruments of Violence

Discriminatory Violence

Religious Torture and Violence

Enforced Ideology and/or Actions

War and Mass Conflict

Anyway, if all that didn't scare you off, on to the guide!

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=WIKIS:

When in doubt, there's always the wikis for being references and useful sources, from gameplay to story elements!

>>Cogitopedia - A WIP wiki run by members of the community, working on adding in-depth content for all of the games and supplementary materials.

>>LobCorp Wiki - Has data on every abnormality, including inaccessible ones and cut ones (such as Price of Silence).

>>Library of Ruina Wiki - Has the lore from key pages, and also has cut content like the CGs from the original planned ending.

>>Limbus Wiki.gg - Has ID Uptie stories and info about Mirror Dungeon encounters. (DO NOT USE THE LIMBUS FANDOM WIKI, IT HAS BEEN ABANDONED/VANDALIZED.)

>>Library of Project Moon - A WIP fan blog whose purpose is to consolidate translations of the literary source novels and related works for Limbus Company and the PM games as a whole.

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=LOBOTOMY CORPORATION:

Summary: Lobotomy Corporation is the first game in the series. It is a roguelike management sim where you play as "Manager X", tasked with handling employees and various monsters known as Abnormalities in order to generate daily quotas of a power source substance known as Enkephalin and a mysterious "Seed of Light" project. You are aided by an alleged team of AIs known as the Sephirot, and your very own personal assistant AI, Angela. It's often been likened to "anime SCP Foundation."

This is the game where everything begins, and without it, we wouldn't have the plot of Limbus (or anything else for that matter). This is where the Golden Boughs come from, this is where Abnormalities come from, this is even where Distortions come from - but we're getting ahead of ourselves on that front.

>>This playlist will allow you to watch all the cutscenes from the game, in order, for the canon ending.

>>This video also has the cutscenes, albeit not in order, HOWEVER, it does have the alternate, non-canon endings A and B (which are timestamped in the link for convenience).

>>WordsmithVids (also on YouTube) also has what is generally considered to be the most popular summary of the game.

(NOTE: Some people disagree with WordsmithVids and his interpretations of some of the characters as well as his content being "meme-y," so I advise you to watch at your own discretion and draw your own conclusions. That being said, if people have better recommendations, please send them to me instead of just complaining and bitching without offering solutions like that one guy on Steam did, thank you.)

>>This site contains transcripts/text of the entire game, albeit not in order like the cutscene playlist. It also has WIP sections for EGO weapons, gear, and other useful info.

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=WONDERLAB:

Summary: Wonderlab was a webcomic by the artist MIMI/Whitezombies, originally posted on the Project Moon Postype account. It follows the adventures of several employees - often called "nuggets" in fan parlance - Catt, Taii, and Rose, in a Lobotomy Corporation branch facility as they go about their day to day activities.

This webcomic was taken down after the Summer 2023 Incel Controversy, when incels stormed the Project Moon office in Korea and made enough credible threats that the former Limbus CG artist known as Vellmori was fired, and it is currently part of a second conflict over copyright. However, primarily for archival and personal reference purposes, the comic has been saved and rehosted in several forms.

>>Internet Archive version. This has just the comic in an on-site readable format.

>>A backup archive on Google Drive. This features the individual pages, a downloadable .zip of the archive, and a readable Google Docs version.

For those who may have ethical concerns about downloading a webcomic that was pulled due to controversy (understandable), once again, >>WordsmithVids has a summary.

(NOTE: This is NOT the place to discuss either the Summer 2023 incel controversy *or* the current (Summer 2024) copyright conflict. There are far better places to do that with people who are far better informed on the topic than I am. This post is solely for providing references and archives of lore material to help guide people into this series. DO NOT attempt to bring up the controversies here, I will not be acknowledging them outside of mentioning why certain supplementary materials may have been pulled and have had to be mirrored. I am just an archivist, not a lawyer or discourser.)

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=LIBRARY OF RUINA:

Summary: Library of Ruina takes place some months after the events of Lobotomy Corporation. A "Grade 9 Fixer" known as Roland finds his way into the mysterious, tower-like Library that has sprung up in place of the former main facility of L Corp, where he encounters Angela and the other Sephirot (all now Librarians). He begins assisting her in finding "the perfect book", which involves enticing people to come to the library through the sending out of curious invitations.

Now, unfortunately, there is not a playlist that splits up the cutscenes or puts them in order for Ruina.

>>These two videos have them all in compilation.

HOWEVER. A wonderful and dear friend of mine (@citroncynique <3) has allowed the guide they sent me to be reproduced/copied.

>>As such, there is a guide on how to watch the cutscenes in the order that makes the most sense, utilizing the timestamps of the previous two videos. It is not a perfect system, but it works at least.

>>There is also a written transcript archive for Ruina, by the same person who did the one for LobCorp, which also includes useful info regarding things like cards and keypages as well.

>>WordsmithVids also has at least two summary vids out.

However, due to financial issues at last update, he has not been able to continue his summary of Ruina. I am including them regardless. >>As well as his Patreon in case people want to support him in hopes of making it easier for him to work on the vids again.

>>There is also an almost FOUR HOUR LONG video essay that delves into Angela's character specifically after the events of LobCorp and Ruina. It is not required viewing like the rest of the materials here, however, I think it still deserves a mention just for the amount of effort and care that went into it.

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=DISTORTION DETECTIVE:

Summary: Taking place at roughly the same time as Library of Ruina, two Fixers known as Ezra and Moses and an N Corp. Taboo Hunter known as Vespa investigate the Distortion Phenomenon that is rapidly starting to spread across the City after the events of the previous games.

Originally released as a webnovel on Project Moon's Postype, Distortion Detective has 42 chapters and is technically incomplete/on hiatus. Project Moon, surprised at how popular the webnovel was, decided they wanted to potentially make an entire game based on the story. As of this writing, that has not happened (yet) but at least one character from the novel has appeared in Limbus Company, so there is still hope yet.

>>The DD series in its original form on Postype. This version was posted chapter-by-chapter, on Project Moon's Postype account and is (as of this writing, at least) still readable there.

>>A backup archive on Google Drive. This has the entire webnovel in a single document format (both Docs and downloadable PDF) featuring NishikujiC's official chapter illustrations up to Ch. 26, and includes the now-cut comic adaption of Ch. 19 by the artist Monggeu/koug99.

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=LEVIATHAN:

(Lord, this one. Like it wasn't a big enough pain in the ass already.)

Summary: After the events of Library of Ruina, and operating as a direct prequel to Limbus Company, Leviathan follows the Color Fixer Vergilius (aka the Red Gaze) as he grapples with his own personal traumas and comes into conflict with the Ring Syndicate, before being recruited as a guide for the LCB.

Leviathan originally started as a webcomic by Monggeu/koug99. Health issues with the artist resulted in the comic being discontinued and turned into a webnovel, whose translation was never completed and had to later be finished by fans. The comic portion has since been taken down as of the Summer 2024 copyright conflict and controversy, much like Wonderlab was. Once again, however, this has been mirrored for archival and reference purposes.

>>Original source of Leviathan on Postype. Due to the copyright conflict and the translation hiatus, the only chapters available are Ch. 12-15. The link is still included for posterity reasons and just in case the copyright conflict results in the chapters being restored.

>>A backup archive on Google Drive. This link includes the comic chapters, as well as the SnakeskinFS English fan translations for the last five chapters that were never completed, all in PDF form.

= o = o = o = o = o = o =

=LIMBUS COMPANY:

Summary: After all the events of the previous games, a mysterious up and coming business known as Limbus Company has taken it upon themselves to send a group composed of 12 "Sinners" and their mysterious clock-headed Manager Dante to delve into the now-abandoned L Corp facilities in search of mysterious artifacts known as Golden Boughs.

Finally we come to the end of the shrubbery maze. Limbus Company is the latest chapter in the currently unfolding story of Project Moon and the City, a gacha game being used to fund other projects under the company umbrella.

Many people, once again, have ethical concerns about patronizing a gacha game. I for one agree with them, even as one of those patrons.

>>This playlist features all of the cutscenes for each part of the game story released so far (up to Intervallo 6.5-2/Murder on the WARP Express as of this writing).

>>There is also this site, which operates as a pure datamined text archive of all the story content.

>>And this site, which has all the in-game Observation logs as told by the Sinners, about the Abnormalities and enemies encountered in-game.

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=BONUS/SUPPLEMENTARY:

This section, liable to be updated at any given time, is for links to materials or fan-creations that don't necessarily fit with the strictly canonical story materials found in the games and webnovels themselves but which otherwise provide useful resources or analysis. Note that the vast majority of material here is supplementary and not required, but recommended.

(Except the literary sources. You will read those, and that is a threat. I can't take another Wings-forsaken illiterate opinion on Canto 6, I'm going to start Distorting and biting people if YOU PEOPLE DON'T READ THE DAMN SOURCE NOVELS.)

YouTubers and Video Essayists:

Frey Chaqma - Frey has done lots of work for the PM community, such as spearheading the Absolute Pride Resonance charity event for Pride Month 2024 as well as discussing the lore of the games and the City as a whole.

Tsunul - Another YouTuber who discusses lore but who also often delves into more interpersonal matters relating to the fandom and controversies that can affect the game community as a whole.

Esgoo - Although Esgoo does not necessarily get into lore so much, they are often tauted as one of the biggest names in the fandom for, if nothing else, their meta-analysis and basic gameplay/strategy material, as well as their community involvement.

DMrLeeds - Although some of his videos are (comparitively) quite old, it can still provide a good jumping off point for anyone who is utterly lost on what's going on in Limbus.

hydrojoy's essay on Benjamin - In addition to Angela, hydrojoy also did an in-depth analysis on Benjamin, aka B, aka Hokma, from Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina and their impact on the story.

MetiNotTheBadGuy's PM Character Essays - Meti has done several excellent character breakdown videos on some of PM's most notable villains/characters, including Roland, Kromer, and Dongrang.

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=ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

Citroncynique. For being a truly amazing artist, putting in the effort of making a watch guide for Ruina's cutscenes, and getting me into this series and ruining my life forever by jingling a bugman with PTSD in front of me (<3).

MIMI/Whitezombies, Monggeu/koug99, NishikujiC, and Vellmori. Although several of these artists have left PM and the community on bad terms, I still think their efforts should be appreciated and supported, now more than ever.

SnakeskinFS. For finishing Leviathan's English translation.

Folex, Bek, WordsmithVids, hydrojoy, and the Lobotomy Corporation Archive. For posting their cutscene and summary/analysis videos.

NeedsMoreDoge. The Steam user who provided the original guide and backup on how to read Leviathan that I myself utilized.

The less than pleasant members of the community who spurred me into making this guide in the first place, out of pure spite.

And of course, readers like you and those members of the community who make me so happy to be here and be a part of this fandom. Genuinely, thank you all, I have never felt as welcomed as I do in the Project Moon circles I run in.

In addition to the references included here, I recommend you get involved in your PM community as well! Join communities and Discords, support content creators on social sites, help contribute where it's needed and in whatever way you can! The best way to counteract the worst elements of any fandom is to be a guiding and helpful element in your own right.

Thank you all for reading, and I hope this guide helps you out!

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Happy birthday, Bravern! 02/April (advance!)

Can you believe that this big boy’s birthday/creation date falls on the second of April? Series director and main designer Masami Obari confirms it again today. Sorta.

Bravern is designed with the assumption that it will be run by 3DCG. In addition, we thought about a design that changes the silhouette that can be easily deformed without removing the parts as much as possible.

Parts like ducts around the neck and neck coolers are actually speakers in that state. Because I also put out the sound effect of "Pikien" (?) at the time of the decision pose (laughs). The emblem is also developed from the Brayburn main body and is built into the parts as a design. If you look at the setting picture at that time ... I designed it 4 years ago. April 2, 2020, this is Bravern’s birthday (laughs)… (Masami)

[jubileemon]

Loona started off as a fan favorite, but as the series progressed, some hate her for being your typical "misunderstood teenage goth girl" who is bratty, temperamental and mistreats others around her as little more than nuisances, even her adoptive father, Blitzo.

Background and Trauma

Loona exhibits a complex personality shaped by a traumatic upbringing. Her behavior is rooted in her experiences at the Hellhound Adoption Foundation, where she was raised by uncaring caretakers. Devoid of affection and subjected to violence for disobedience, Loona's formative years were marred by isolation and mistreatment. This harsh reality of her childhood in the orphanage left her with deep-seated trust issues and an inability to properly give or receive love, influencing her interactions with others, including her adoptive father Blitz.

The so-called "adoption center" looks like a cross between a run-down dog pound and a juvenile detention center, with most of the hellhounds Blitzo sees looking malnourished or deformed. When he sees Loona, her cellmate is threatening her with a bloody nail bat before she flings him at the bars, growling and then she starts crying, looking more like a frightened, feral dog than anything. The social worker's indifferent description of her in her emotionally dead tone doesn't help, saying all this directly in front of Loona's cell, and only highlights how lonely Loona's life had been for almost eighteen years.

Loona's living space gets more tragic the longer you look at it. The back and side walls are covered in tally marks scratched into the tile. And there's a typical "Hang in there!" poster ripped with obvious claw marks, making it clear Loona had long given up hope of being adopted into a family. There are some drawings on the walls of Loona with storm clouds above her head and a giant version of her stomping on a city. Either they were drawn by Loona in which case they show just how frustrated and fed up with the world she has become over the years, or they were drawn by the other hellhound kids who only see her as a vicious monster.

The fact that this place is essentially a pound and not an adoption place paints Loona's situation as much grimmer. They're not treated as individuals but as animals and would normally just leave as rescued dogs. When the social worker mentions that Loona will age out it's implied that it doesn't mean that she's exactly leaving safe & sound.

You can also see that Loona takes a look at her tally marks, and as it lines up with the social worker's statement on her aging out, it wordlessly states Loona knows about this. Whether she's put to sleep or kicked out ownerless, it's a cloud of pitch-black dread she can do nothing about except countdown to.

The social worker's dialogue makes it clear how hellhounds are treated in this world. They're not treated as sentient individuals; instead, they're valued for either being strong laborers or cute family pets. Loona is both strong and beautiful, but being a self-actualized person with internal struggles and self-preservation instincts makes her undesirable. For an imp, one of the lowest creatures in Hell's hierarchy, to be able to adopt a hellhound as a pet or servant shows that despite their strength, they're seen and treated as even lower than imps.

If Blitzo hadn't adopted her, Loona would apparently have "aged out of the system" and been "out of the kennel's hair". This could simply mean that Loona would be kicked out, but given a mix of how scared she looked, the way hellhounds are treated in this setting and what sometimes happens to real dogs when they're deemed too old for adoption…

Personality

Loona's past manifested in various aspects of her demeanor. Her reluctance to perform her job may stem from a newfound appreciation for freedom, contrasting with her previously constrained life. Her agreessive nature, particularly towards characters like Moxxie, can be seen as a defensive mechanism, a way to assert control in situations where she might feel vulnerable.

Blitzo's adoption of her before she aged out ensured her gratitude and was why she didn't leave him. But years of hardship have made it hard for her to open up to him properly. Despite her tough exterior, moments of genuine vulnerability reveal her social awkwardness and desire for connection, which she struggles to navigate due to her lack of social experience.

Loona is shown throughout the series to have a strong aversion to being touched, reacting either with threatening growls or violence. However, her aversion to being touched might've stem from her past in the adoption center, yet she can handle being touched when she's the one initiating the contact, as seen when she allows Octavia to hug her and then holds her hand through the portal. That being said, she never reacted aggressively to Blitzo's affections beforehand, so this felt out of place, even for her.

Social Skills

Loona seems to be hiding some deep insecurities and feelings of loneliness, having never had any friends before meeting Vortex and briefly glancing with visible sadness at a picture of an happy family in "Murder Family", which implies Loona does wish to have good relationships in her life, but is unable to due to her tendency to see the bad in people and vent out her frustrations on others, including (and, arguably, especially) those who try to be nice or fatherly to her, like her adoptive father Blitzo.

However, after having been friend-zoned by Vortex, Loona didn't resent him and kept in touch with him, becoming great friends with him and going to parties with him, which might be making her more open to people and less hostile, as she's gradually becoming less rude and apathetic towards her co-workers.

Father-Daughter Relationship

Blitzo is her adoptive father, but she almost always refers to him by his name since she doesn't like showing the fact that she cares about him. That said, there are times where she slips up: on Instagram, she was so worried about him being kidnapped that she straight out called him "dad", though she immediately tried to walk it back out of embarrassment by claiming she was just upset that food was running low in their home. In "Spring Broken", she was so flustered with seeing Vortex that she almost slipped and called Blitzo "dad" before catching herself.

Once, she showed to be more than capable of both showing affection to and taking care of Blitzo: when he became severely intoxicated at Vortex and Queen Bee-lzebub's party to numb his pain after having rejected Stolas, she drove and carried him back to I.M.P. headquarters, set him on the couch and covered him with a blanket. When Blitzo shared his insecurities regarding loneliness and asked her if she'd be by him once he met his end, Loona promised him she would, showing her seriousness and true care by willingly calling him "dad".

Sisterly Bond

For the longest time, Loona and Octavia never met each other, only being connected to each other through their dads being in a rather complicated relationship with each other. This changed one day when Octavia snuck into I.M.P.'s office to obtain her father's grimoire so she can watch a meteor shower on Earth on her own. Loona actually spots Octavia trying to sneak in, but deliberately chooses not to say anything (partly because of lingering anger from a discussion she had with her father earlier).

As Loona approaches Octavia when she finally finds her, she's incredibly gentle with the girl and even compliments her on her photos. Loona rags on Blitzo at the beginning of "Seeing Stars", even physically assaulting him. But on Earth, she ultimately does do what he wants in finding Octavia, confiding in her that she recognizes that Blitzo is trying to be a good dad to her. It's as close as Loona gets to admitting that maybe things with Blitzo aren't as bad as she's ever gotten.

When Loona asks Octavia if she's ready to go while extending her hand out to her, Octavia gives the grimoire over to Loona and hugs her, glad to have someone who listened to her and can relate to. Previous episodes have shown that Loona does NOT like physical affection, shown most often with Blitzo. Yet here, Loona accepts and even returns Octavia's hug with no resistance whatsoever. It's even better since Loona was the one who initiated the contact. She holds her hand out to Octavia twice as though to help her stand up and looks a little confused when Octavia instead hands her the book the first time.

Conclusion

So far, I can see that Loona's character among fans is kinda mixed. While some viewers are sympathetic with her traumatic past and understand her defensive behavior, others find her attitude off-putting, which is understandable. It's also understandable that due to her recent absence and lack of dialogues during the second season, Loona's VA was probably given time to grieve due to the losing her partner and probably a busy schedule with other projects.

[kirider]

Your art for it is so cute, what's Kamen Rider SD? I want to get into it :D

yesss.... fall into my trap... mwhahaha >:3c (also thank you ^v^)

SD in general means Super Deformed, it's a chibi style that's not unique to Kamen Rider (Gundam also has a bunch of SD stuff, mentioning it here bc i love those models :3)

But since you're asking in relation with my art, here's the ones I made art for:

SD The Great Battle

A series of videogames that's a crossover between Kamen Rider, Gundam and Ultraman characters, all in the SD style. An original character called Fighter Roar joins the team from the second game on. They're very fun and wacky game that don't really have a coherent plot but we love them for that :3 In IV they get a giant robot (Compatible Kaiser my beloved) and in V they're cowboys. I love the cowboy outfits so much. Games one to five have english fan translations, now I need someone to translate Gaia Saver because apparently that one has the Rider Killer lore....

Kamen Rider SD: Strange!? Man Spider (or simply Kamen Rider SD OVA)

If you've been around the fandom you probably already know this one. It's a 30 minutes short where RX and the other Battle Riders (Ichigo and ZX) have to rescue RX's crush from shocker, with the help of the Mechanic Riders (V3, X and Super1). Wild Team (Stronger, Amazon and Nigo) appears for like. 3 minutes total at the end but they're my darlings and I love them. Other very important thing in this short is the Rider Carrier, a giant robot grasshopper that acts as their base and I think every version of the riders shoul have a giant grasshopper base not just the SDs u.u This short is apparently an adaptation from the Mighty Riders manga, but I haven't investigated it yet so I can't confirm that. It's also connected to a couple more SD videogames, Sortie!! Rider Machines and Run! Mighty Riders (the team names come from here as far as I can tell)

Kamen Rider SD: Hurricane Legend / Kamen Rider SD: Legend of the Stormy Age

(listen. I know the direct translation is the first one. But the second one is on the back cover so if they gave it an official english title I'm using that :P)

This is probably the one you're asking for, but I wanted to use the excuse to talk about the other two :P

I'll be honest, going in blind on this one is probably the best experience. Do not look up panels you will get spoiled. The basic plot is V3 and Riderman travel around to recruit the other Riders to defeat Shocker. I want to talk about it more but again, I had so much fun going "WHAT!?!" while reading it that I must resist- Might post more about them but will tag it as spoilers

Other SD stuff that I care less about, for completionist sake:

• there's a third SD manga (Kamen Rider SD: Roaring Laughs School) that I know nothing of (I think it's a 4koma gag manga? I'll be honest I'm not very interested in it so I haven't done much research);

• the most recent SD game is SD Shin Kamen Rider Rumble, a game for the movie, but that one seems to be simply a side scroller so again, no interest from me;

• Lost Heroes 1 and 2 technically use chibi-ish versions of Riders, Gundams and Ultramen, and are part of the Compati Hero series (the same series as The Great Battle), but they don't have SD in the title;

•there's. sooooo many sports games in the Compati Hero series. I like the Battle Dodgeball ones :3 Also speaking of Compati Hero, special mention to Super Hero Operations because that's the next one I wanna play, I get to meet Zubat, Metalder and a bunch of others there :3

[kryptonbabe]

Poor writing in mainstream comics: when it hurts and when it kills

It's one thing when you write a single bad run in the series of a character with a 50+ years worth of history, it's a completely different thing when you write a poor run on a more recent character, your portrayal of them can really impact their future depictions, it becomes part of their history in a more permanent way. If you write a bad Wonder Woman, Batman, Thor or Captain America run we will recover from that, there's plenty of history and stories out there to remind us of what these characters stand for. Yeah their past can be a bumpy ride full of dead ends and unnecessary developments, but those made us jaded, stronger, these characters can take it.

However when you write a bad line or poorly thought out miniseries for a minor character, less developed and with a more recent history, they might not recover from that, your words can be as nails in the coffins of their short-lived careers. And that's just how this media works, mainstream comic books are a tapestry of hits and misses. Sometimes we wish for so long for the spot-light to shine over our favorite obscure / minor favorites and we live to regret how poorly they were written after all, how the chances of seeing that character again diminished after that awful miniseries / run, or worse, when that mischaracterized version of the character becomes the dominant one, the standard, a new and deformed face on an old friend.

Is it better to forever reread old runs and fanfics or to deal with the corruption of a loved minor character now transformed into a shadow of what they once were?

[brandyllyn]

Silk from their soul (01)

The Ghoul / Cooper Howard x f!reader [no use of y/n]

Rated: Teen (series will be explicit) Words: 1500 Summary: The Ghoul takes a bounty and you might be lost

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

Wanted: Alive and Unharmed

The Ghoul runs his thumb over the picture - a woman, pretty enough but who knew what liberties the artist might have taken. It wasn’t uncommon to find people had some glaringly obvious deformity that no one had seen fit to mention to him before setting him on his tasks. Hunchbacks, missing limbs, hell he’d had a job once for a man whose only resemblance to the reward poster was that they were missing an eye. 

They’d been missing two by the time he’d drug them back to town.

In this case, he wouldn’t be surprised if the woman in question here turned out to be a damn sight less appealing than the picture made her out to be. But he was less intrigued by her hypothetical beauty than he was by the number beneath the image.

Reward: 5000 caps 

It was an absurd amount of money, enough to keep him in chem for years. Not that that mattered - chem was simple enough to come by if you knew where to look for it and procuring caps had never been an issue for him. No, the lure lay in the sheer amount - and that caution… alive and unharmed.

“What the hell did this one do?” he asks the woman putting the poster up with a frown.

“Ran away,” she replies with a shrug. “Boss wants her back.”

One of those then.

“This for real?” he taps at the number.

“Boss wants her back bad.”

He nods, pulling the poster off the wall and gesturing to the woman. “You can leave off, I’ll get her.”

“You?” she blinks at him then glances at the wall of bounties. “You sure this is the one you want?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just… boss is real picky - not a scratch on her.”

“Then not a scratch will be.”

The woman shrugs and moves along, tucking the papers under her arm. He doesn’t think she’ll listen to him, but if it keeps her from putting up more signs today it’ll give him a head start.

Tearing the reward amount off he stares at the picture with a frown, studying the woman’s face. She reminds him of someone, not that he could quite put his finger on it. Something in the eyes though…

He grunts, folding the poster and tucking it into his saddlebag. He’ll figure it out when he finds her, and he will find her. He always does. Practically wasn’t fun anymore.

The bounty itself was being offered by someone he didn’t recognize, a warlord calling himself Nero down at what used to be the Stateline - when there were still states to have lines. Probably got himself holed up in a casino like those assholes out in New Vegas.

Sliding his palm down the hilt of his pistol he glances up at the sun. Plenty of daylight left, enough time to ask a few questions, see if anyone had seen her.

“Move it.”

Someone shoves into his shoulder but the Ghoul barely spares the man a glance, turning on his heel and striding across the creaking boardwalk and down into the street. He might oughta consider supplies too, he doesn’t need much to survive on but he does need a bit.

“Someone should take care of those fucking vermin.”

Pausing in the street, he turns to look back, eyeing the man from under the brim of his hat. “What was that?”

“You heard me, asshole,” the idiot continues, oblivious to the idea that these could be his last words.

The Ghoul considers his options. He could shoot the man, easy enough. Wouldn’t take but a second and then another minute to roll the body and see what he had. Would cause a bit of a ruckus though, and he wasn’t inclined to spend his time in what might pass for a lockup round here if the locals took offense to it.

That did leave the more amusing option.

He turns slowly, one hand pushing back the corner of his coat to rest on his hip, the other arm hanging loose at his side. “Seems to me you might be having a bit of trouble with what we used to call ‘courtesy,’” He moves in the man’s direction, slowly rising up the small set of stairs until they’re eye to eye. The other man flinches and the Ghoul suppresses a smile. “Now, would you like to try that again?”

“I s-said-”

The Ghoul doesn’t give him a chance to finish, striking as quick as a cobra with thumb and forefinger. The man chokes but the Ghoul doesn’t let go, pulling on the tongue until the man’s knees buckle.

“Now I think you were properly warned about the consequences,” with his free hand he pulls his knife, rusty and with a patina of grime from Lord only knew where. “So I can’t help but wonder if you might enjoy this.”

“Thowwy!” the man’s neck arches back, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. “M’thowwy!”

The Ghoul hums to himself, hovering the blade over the man’s tongue. “We’ll see. Tell me, you seen this girl?” He digs the poster out, knife flashing dangerously close to the man’s eyes.

“Oh.”

“No?” He cocks his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Then I reckon you ain’t of much use to me are you?”

“Oth.”

“What was that?”

“Oth! Oth!” The man points and the Ghoul glances that way. South, fair enough.

“When?”

“Unnu.”

“Unnu?”

“Unno. Unno.”

“You don’t know,” the Ghoul finishes for him, still not letting his tongue go. “Then how, pray tell, do you know where she’s going?”

The man fumbles in his pocket, yanking a poster out that matches the one the Ghoul has in his hand. He takes it with a thoughtful frown, noting the scrawled words on it.

“South to Mexico, eh?” he asks, making a point of enunciating the soft ‘x’. “You going after her?”

The man nods and the Ghoul squeezes tighter until the man squeals, a mumbled series of what could pass for no’s grunting out of him.

“Good.” With a final nod the Ghoul lets the man’s tongue go. But there’s no chance for a sigh of relief before he turns his knife and slices the top of the man’s ear off.

“What the fuck?”

Grinning, the Ghoul slips the bloody cartilage between his lips, savoring the taste of fresh blood. “Something to remember your manners by, boy.”

☢ ☢ ☢

“Man, it’s hot,” you pant softly, resting both hands on your knees as you squint off into the distance. The short sage brush offers little protection from the late afternoon sun, and the trees with their spiky little leaves weren’t much help either. They had a dumb name - like Steven bushes. Something like that.

“I tell you Steven,” you huff conversationally, “days like today make a girl think leaving home wasn’t the best idea.”

The tree didn’t respond, which was probably for the best.

There are hills in the distance, maybe mountains? It’s really hard to tell how far away they are. You had been hoping to get to them before the sun went down but that was beginning to look less and less likely.

And that horned skull you’d seen a while back was starting to feel more and more ominous.

Letting out a sigh you set off again, doing your best to conserve energy. You try to keep to the hard packed earth, avoiding the sandy spots and looking for stones where you can find them. Anything that would make you more difficult to track. 

And someone was tracking you, you were certain of it. The Emperor wasn’t going to let you go just because you’d run off. With any luck he’d search down closer to Baja, you’d laid enough trail that direction even a blind man could find it. But there was no harm in being careful.

A hop takes you from one stone to another, your boots slipping slightly on the nearly smooth rock. Something skitters and you freeze, glancing around to find the source. It takes a moment for your eyes to pick it out - a lizard, maybe a foot long, the same sandy brown color as the rocks. It puffs its neck out and tilts its head at you curiously. 

“Nice lizard?” you ask cautiously. Keeping your eyes on it you move sideways, waiting to see if it’s going to spit poison or open its mouth to reveal inch long fangs. It puffs its neck out once more, mouth opening and a soft chirp comes forth.

Breathing a sigh of relief you watch it skitter a few feet away from you, turning sideways and cocking its head once more. Only this time, when it puffs its neck and opens its mouth a deafening roar sounds instead.

That did not come from that lizard.

Nor, in fact, do you want to know where it came from. It’s enough to know that whatever made that noise exists. Deciding speed is more important than caution, you take off running, aiming for the only thing in the distance that gives any semblance of hope.

It’s only as you’re climbing, heart beating in your throat, that it occurs to you that things that roar might also be able to climb.

☢ ☢ ☢

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[hollowed-theory-hall]

The Riddle of Tom Riddle: Part 2/?

(Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7)

Voldemort Isn't Insane, At Least, Not in the Way You Think

Horcruxes and Dark Magic don't cause insanity and physical deformity the way Dumbledore implies, and I can prove it.

So, first Dark Magic doesn't make you go mad

So, first off, let's just set the record about Dark Magic not causing the changes in appearance we see in Voldemort and neither does it cause insanity. (I'm talking of run-of-the-mill Unforgivables here, I talk about Horcruxes more in-depth later in this post)

Now, what other character we can be sure practiced Dark Magic... Bellatrix, of course.

And, as a matter of fact, we do get a look at her before she goes to Azkaban:

The dementors placed each of the four people in the four chairs with chained arms that now stood on the dungeon floor. There was a thickset man who stared blankly up at Crouch; a thinner and more nervous-looking man, whose eyes were darting around the crowd; a woman with thick, shining dark hair and heavily hooded eyes, who was sitting in the chained chair as though it were a throne; and a boy in his late teens, who looked nothing short of petrified. He was shivering, his straw-colored hair all over his face, his freckled skin milk-white.

(Goblet of Fire, page 594)

She is clearly not deformed. None of the Death Eaters show any sign of physical changes to their appearance or behaviour due to Dark Magic in general.

the woman with the heavy-lidded eyes looked up at Crouch and called, “The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban; we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 595)

Bellatrix is sane and coherent before Azkaban. I believe most of her baby talk and more manic behavior we see in the series is caused by her time in Azkaban. While she was definitely loyal to Voldemort to a fault — she wasn't laughing maniacly in a baby voice like in Order of the Phoenix...

So, it isn't Dark Magic that made Voldemort snake-faced, so, maybe it's Horcruxes...

Second, Horcruxes don't make you go mad either

So, I talked about Horcruxes a bit here. But not about their effects on the person casting them.

So, let's try and trace the moments in time we meet Tom and count his Horcruxes. If his Horcruxes were indeed the cause for the change in his appearance, we'd expect to see a gradual change after each one in his appearance and behavior, if they indeed caused his insanity.

So, the first account we have of Voldemort is from Slughorn'smemory in 1943:

Half a dozen boys were sitting around Slughorn, all on harder or lower seats than his, and all in their mid-teens. Harry recognized Voldemort at once. His was the most handsome face and he looked the most relaxed of all the boys. His right hand lay negligently upon the arm of his chair; with a jolt, Harry saw that he was wearing Marvolo’s goldand-black ring; he had already killed his father.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 494)

As Tom is mentioned wearing the Gaunt Ring, we know this memory takes place during his sixth year, after he made the Diary and the Ring into Horcruxes already. (Why ask Slughorn about them if he already made two? Well, I'm gonna write a whole post about that don't worry)

But the point is, 2 Horcruxes in and there are no discernable changes in behavior or appearance. Harry actually describes him as very handsome, so clearly, he isn't snake-like yet.

The next time we see Tom is with Hepzibah Smith in 1956, the thing is, this memory doesn't give us much since it's before he killed her to make his third Horcrux, so we should expect nothing to change.

That then leads us to jump straight to 1967 and his job interview with Dumbledore. Between the talk with Slughonr about Horcruxes and this memory, Tom added 3 more Horcruxes to his collection (the cup, the locket, and the diadem).

So, we should expect to see a drastic change in behavior and appearance, and, well:

Voldemort had entered the room. His features were not those Harry had seen emerge from the great stone cauldron almost two years ago: They were not as snakelike, the eyes were not yet scarlet, the face not yet masklike, and yet he was no longer handsome Tom Riddle. It was as though his features had been burned and blurred; they were waxy and oddly distorted, and the whites of the eyes now had a permanently bloody look, though the pupils were not yet the slits that Harry knew they would become. He was wearing a long black cloak, and his face was as pale as the snow glistening on his shoulders. The Dumbledore behind the desk showed no sign of surprise. Evidently this visit had been made by appointment.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 441)

Tom's behavior throughout this interview isn't any different from what we've seen in his interactions with Dumbledore up to this point. So, I'll take that as a no, for Horcruxes causing insanity as he showed no sign of gradually deteriorating with each one.

And as for his appearence, yes, we see a change. But something about the wording bothered me. Harry referred to his face as looking: "burned and blurred; they were waxy and oddly distorted". This is a really off way to describe a face.

And it actually reminded me of a different description from Harry for a different memory:

And it happened all over again: The dense fog filled the room so that Harry could not see Slughorn or Voldemort at all; only Dumbledore, smiling serenely beside him. Then Slughorn’s voice boomed out again, just as it had done before. “I don’t know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don’t let me catch you mentioning them again!” “Well, that’s that,” said Dumbledore placidly beside Harry. “Time to go.” And Harry’s feet left the floor to fall, seconds later, back onto the rug in front of Dumbledore’s desk. “That’s all there is?” said Harry blankly. Dumbledore had said that this was the most important memory of all, but he could not see what was so significant about it. Admittedly the fog, and the fact that nobody seemed to have noticed it, was odd, but other than that nothing seemed to have happened except that Voldemort had asked a question and failed to get an answer. “As you might have noticed,” said Dumbledore, reseating himself behind his desk, “that memory has been tampered with.” “Tampered with?” repeated Harry, sitting back down too. “Certainly,” said Dumbledore. “Professor Slughorn has meddled with his own recollections.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 371)

Memories can be edited and when they are, they become fogged and blurry. Slughorn's memory is clearly very crudely edited, but a master Legilemence like Dumbledore could surely do a better job of it.

Because Dumbledore has an agenda with all these memories, he needs to convince Harry to be ready to die to kill Voldemort — that's his end goal. And as such, yeah, he could reasonably edit Tom's appearance. As he seemed to have.

So, do we have a different source about Tom's appearance during the First War, because the next Horcrux after the diadem is Harry?

We do, Voldemort himself:

“Nice costume, mister!” He saw the small boy’s smile falter as he ran near enough to see beneath the hood of the cloak, saw the fear cloud his painted face. Then the child turned and ran away. . .

(Deathly Hollows, pages 295)

In this memory Voldemort shows mercy to a muggle child, not killing someone whose death isn't necessary — another point to him not being insane.

As for appearance, well, his face scared the child, but, it's hard to tell why. I'm sure JKR intended us to assume it's because he looked snake-like, but, again, no Horcruxes were made between the interview in Dumbledore's office and this scene, so he shouldn't be any more distorted. And while Harry's description in the interview memory isn't flattering, it isn't horrifying either.

Therefore, my assumption is that Voldemort is staring at this little child dressed like a pumpkin with the most impressive death glare the child has ever seen and this kid actually thinks, Tom is going to kill him. Which, well, it's a fair reason to be scared, I'll give him that.

His white hand pulled out the wand beneath his cloak and pointed it at the door, which burst open.

(Deathly Hollows, pages 296)

"White hand" doesn't say much. Tom was always described as pale and nothing odd about the skin texture is mentioned.

I'll add, that magically speaking, at least, according to the way I believe Horcruxes are made, it makes no sense for them to effect one's appearance and sanity negatively. Well, making them isn't pleasant, but they won't make you lose your intelligence and coherence.

So, what's up with Voldemort?

Well, I'm getting there.

For his appearence, my assumption was always that Pettigrew butchered the resurrection potion (when making a potion or alchemical concoction the mindset of the brewer matters. If Pettigrew was adding Nagini's venom without thinking of it as a soul component but as a body component, it can cause the changes in appearences we see). It can also be affected by the unicorn blood, which we don't really know the negetive effects of.

As for the insanity... When talking about insanity in fiction the conversation is sometimes very shallow. the word "insane" is just used to describe any character people don't understand, or that acts somewhat unpredictably. But if we look at insanity as a concept, as in a mental illness or delusions of some kind, they always have consistency. Both in fiction and reality.

Say, if a person believes they are a butterfly, they would always believe they are a butterfly. All their actions and behavior would stem from that delusion. We would expect them to try and drink from flowers, or try to fly — because that's what butterflies do.

Voldemort doesn't have that.

He doesn't have a consistent behavior pattern I could chuck to insanity and call it a day. No, Tom Riddle is a more complex character than that and I feel calling him "insane" is a cop-out from analyzing his character properly.

I'm gonna make a full post about it and what exactly is going through his mind, but I wanted to cover the insanity claims first.

[fiction-is-the-new-reality]

Pt 3: if only you knew

An Unfortunate Incident

word count: 5k

warnings: major violence, adult language, and angst

A/N: Ok sooooo. Thank everyone for all your support!! It means the world. Also I want to explain my inspiration for our main girl. I want her to be a bit darker than the other vigilantes. Someone that’s similar to Red Hoods vibe. I like to imagine her outfit similar to Azrael’s in AK, just without the full mask. I changed the name to Vulture instead of Phoenix because I felt like Phoenix was a little too cliche. As always please give feedback and love you guys!

series masterlist previous part next part

Blinking a few times, you take in your surroundings. You’re on a cot in Panessa Studios. There’s a tightness in your side that tells you they stitched you up. Pushing yourself up on your elbows, you look around. There are other cells identical to the one you’re in, with people in them.

“Great, you’re up,” Tim pops into view, donned in his Robin suit. “Batman told me not to let you out.”

You look at him, opening your mouth to argue when he cuts you off. “Lucky for you, I know he needs help out there. You’re free to go, that is, if you’re feeling like it. I know it can be scary to get back out the–”

“This isn’t my first time getting my ass beat,” you remind him, “but that did sound like it was going to be a great pep talk, though.”

Placing your feet on the floor, you begin to stand. Your body aches from the beatings, and you can feel the itchiness of the stitching as you walk to the door. The door slides open to allow you out, and you finally see the other people in the cells.

Looking at them, you see they all have pale skin and green hair, and even their mouths look slightly deformed to an upturned smile. While you’re staring, they all begin to yell and taunt you. Seeing the confused look on your features, Tim quickly explains who they are and why they’re locked in the cells.

Turning away from the people, you begin walking toward the elevator. “How long was I out for?”

“Couple hours. It’s gotten worse out there.”

“Has Bats asked for any help?”

“If he has, he hasn’t asked me.” He frowns like a disappointed kid.

And as you stare at him, you remember that he is just a kid. He’s barely older than Jason was when he became Robin. Your heart clenches at the thought of Tim possibly meeting the same fate as Jason.

“Don’t take it personally. He’s just looking out for you in his own way.” You grab his shoulder and squeeze it. He smiles back.

He calls out to you as you get on the elevator to go up.

“Kick some ass for me!”

As you leave the studio, your ears are filled with static before a voice emerges.

“Hello, Miss, I wanted to let you know your suit is complete. I have the Batwing sending it, along with new devices for you. I hope it is to your liking.” Lucius sounds pleased with himself.

“Thank you, Lucius.” The Batwing comes around the corner, and you watch in awe as the pod rockets down, slamming into the ground.

It opens with a loud hiss. Inside, the light reveals a two-piece suit. The dark green and black colors contrast against the bright white light. Putting it on, you instantly notice the reinforced fabric and the extra padded areas. Lucius had included details you hadn’t even thought of, like attaching a cape to the hood of your top and new boots. You take a moment to get used to the new suit and place your new gadgets and weapons on so they adorn every inch of your body.

Pressing on your comms, you call out to Oracle, but there’s nothing. A chill runs down your spine. That’s unlike Barbara. You try again, but there’s still nothing. As a final attempt, you use the tempad on your wrist to call her but receive the same response - silence. Shooting out the grappling hook, you feel the tug as it latches onto the next building. With your legs moving at top speed, you leap from building to building, feeling the wind rush against your face.

The moment you get closer to the Clock Tower, the reverberating sound of multiple shots fills the air, echoing from the Batmobile and the militia tanks. The Tower itself has an overwhelming amount of militia presence. Jumping down, you make quick work of taking them out. Taking your chain whip, you wrap one end around your left hand and use your right to swing and deliver blows. Utilizing the chain, you swiftly neutralize several men, effortlessly reeling in the remaining ones and defeating them with your hands.

There’s a quick, almost too fast black mass out of the corner of your eye. As you glance in that direction, you notice Batman has entered the fray; his powerful presence gains the attention of the men. Most of them leave you to go deal with him. You and Bruce do good at avoiding each other, until the last second of the fight.

There’s only one man left, and you punch into his core as many times as possible, forcing him to move backward and toward Batman. Sweeping out his feet, you kick him back, letting Bruce deal the final hit that puts the guy to sleep.

The robotic voice of Arkham Knight comes over the comms of the fallen militia men. “I’m impressed. But your tricks don’t stay new for long, Batman. I see you’ve added another person that you’ll get killed.”

Your eyes widen as you look at Bruce. He looks back at you before grappling at the top of the Tower. You’re right after him.

You both land in the room, and while looking around, you notice only one thing out of the ordinary. There’s no sign of a struggle, just an empty turned-over wheelchair that lays in the middle of the floor.

“What the hell happened?” Bruce ignores your question. Turning to see what he’s doing, you notice a glossy look in his eyes as he stares at the wheelchair. Strange. He still doesn’t respond or acknowledge you’re there, even after you call his name multiple times. He finally snaps out of his daze and places the wheelchair back upright.

The elevator dings open to show Commissioner Gordon. As he enters the room, you push yourself into the shadows, hoping to become a fly on the wall as you watch what unfolds.

Jim’s foot lands on a picture frame of him and Barbara. While he kneels, he lightly runs his fingers across it. Bruce speaks up, “This isn’t your fault, Jim.”

“Of course it is. Crane’s done this to get to me. I should have been here.”

Your heart breaks as you watch him blame himself.

“There’s something I need to show you.” Bruce turns, walking to the retina scanner.

Jim stands back to full height, following him. “We haven’t got time. She’s not like us,” Jim frets.

“Batman?” You question him, making sure he wants to do this. He doesn’t seem to care about the consequences.

As the machine whirls to life, the room soon converts into Oracle’s domain. And before you can say another word, he reveals the secret that Barbara fought so hard to keep from her father. You watch as Jim digests what's happening, his eyes darting back and forth between the room and Batman. You know it’s clicked when his face goes from sadness to anger.

“She’s strong, Jim, stronger than you realize.”

Not only do you see the anger, but you can feel the anger radiating off of Jim as he turns back to Batman.

“She works for you?” He scoffs as he shakes his head, walking toward the elevator. “This is all your fault.”

“I will find her,” Batman’s stern voice was an unspoken promise.

You stare in surprise as Jim punches him. Batman takes the punch unfazed.

“She’s my family! MY DAUGHTER! She’s all I’ve got.” He gets on the elevator, turns around, and tells Bruce, “I never should have trusted you. Never!” His face was full of pain and betrayal as he threw down his communicator.

“I’ll do this on my own. Stay away from my family.” His voice wavers a little but remains stern. He slams shut the elevator door and leaves.

Once the elevator is gone, you turn back to Bruce, “What’s our next step? How do we plan on finding Barbara?”

“I’ll hack the municipal CCTV system. I should be able to monitor all access points in the building.” He filters through the footage from the last few hours.

“There!” You watch as two militia vehicles pull up. The Arkham Knight hops out of one, enters the Tower, and soon returns with what looks like an unconscious Barbara. He puts her in the back of the car and takes off with her.

“I’ll be able to program the Batmobile to track the tires, their AmerTek D60s.”

“Great, I’ll come with you.”

“No, you need to be out on the streets. There are militia checkpoints and riots that you can help with.”

“I don’t work for you, Bruce,” you remind him. “I’m in this for Barbara, and the best way for me to help is to get her back.”

“There’s no time to argue. If you want Barbara back faster, you’ll listen to me and stay back.” He insisted.

“You better find her.” You sneer at him,

You’re out of the tower, watching the streets from above. You can’t stop yourself from seething with rage towards Bruce. Who does he think he is to tell you what to do? And who are you to listen? You hate that you’re not helping find Barbara; you hate that you’re stuck doing busy work.

A flashing light catches your eye, causing you to turn and see Bat Burger in the distance. You and Jason had gone there before everything, and you wish your smile were genuine, but instead, a bittersweet feeling washes over you. Your smile is one of self-pity. Your last moments with each other were marked by faces red with anger, furrowed brows, and tear-filled eyes as you desperately pleaded for him to listen. Closing your eyes, you think back to that night.

There’s snow covering the ground, Jason’s complaining about Bruce treating him like a kid, and you just listen as you stare up at him while waiting in line to order.

You grab your food and sit in a secluded booth, far from the bustling crowd.

“I’m not a kid. I haven’t been one for a long time. He treats me like I’m still in the learning phase. Like, I haven’t been with him for almost two years! You know, after Dick had been with him for two years, he had joined the Titans!” He takes a massive bite of the burger in his hands, and with his mouth full of food, he speaks again. “I’m going to show him. Hell, I’ll go after Joker if it shows him to take me seriously.”

You giggle at him, “Yeah, great idea, Jay. I’ll take down Croc while we’re at it.” You look up from your meal when you don’t hear him laugh.

“I’m not kidding,” he had a stern look on his face.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” He stops mid-chew to look at you like you’re crazy.

“Look, Jay, I know how hard it is to deal with Bruce, but don’t you think that’s a little too much?” You shrug, trying to ease the uncomfortableness that’s fallen over the table.

“Actually, you don’t know how hard it is to deal with Bruce.” Great, you think. He’s putting up a wall. “You don’t think I can do it?” he accuses you.

“It’s not that, just…maybe wait a little longer.”

He scoffs, “I could do it. I could take any of them.”

“I’m sure you could, but wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t risk it? Wouldn’t it be better if you could confidently take them down in a couple of years?”

“The only ones not confident in me are you and Bruce.”

“Don’t lump me in with him. I just think there are other ways to show him you’re ready to move on from being the dynamic duo.”

“None of that will be as effective as this. If I show him, I can hold my own. He won’t be able to ignore it.” Jason’s being stubborn as always, and usually, you love that about him, but right now, it’s adding to your aggravation.

“Unless you get killed!” You toss your hands up, trying to make your point more clearly.

“I can’t believe this. You’re supposed to support me. Why don’t you see that I can do this?” His eyebrows furrow, his face getting slightly flushed as he grows angrier.

“Jason, it’s a stupid idea! There’s such a high chance of you getting injured or, worse, killed! Why do you not care about that?”

“I bet if Dick had told you this, you’d bat your eyelashes and tell him he’s so brave.” He jeered. Your eyes soften slightly, knowing how he constantly compares himself to others. He had a wicked jealous streak, not to mention his fear of not being good enough. You know he wants to impress Bruce, to show that he was better than Dick, that he was the best yet.

“Don’t be an ass, Jay. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“I don’t need you to look out for me. I can do that myself.” He stands from the table, and you lunge up after him. Following him outside.

“Just forget I said anything. No one trusts me. No one believes in me. I’m just Jason, the poor alley kid Bruce Wayne so generously took in. I’m just the second Robin, constantly compared to Boy Wonder.” He whips around to face you. “I’m so fucking tired of it! I want to be seen for who I am, not for where I came from. No one has faith in me, but I’ll prove it. I’ll show all of you that you’re wrong.”

You step back from him, your face twisting as you empathize with me. He notices immediately, and his anger just furthers.

“Don’t you fucking dare look at me like that. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need anything from you.” He turns back around and begins stalking toward the nearest alley. You chase after him, the cold air nipping at your burning face.

You feel your eyes welling up with tears but refuse to cry, “Jason, wait, please!”

His pace doesn’t decline. “Jay, I just want to keep you here for as long as possible! I don’t care about where you come from or who’s been here before you! I just care that you’re still here! You can’t do this.” You finally catch up and grab his arm.

Turning quickly, he grabs your arm and shoves you off him. His eyes are full of fire, and they’re glossy with tears. “Nothing you say can stop me. I was just hoping you’d be different and that you’d understand. I hoped you’d be a good friend and at least lie, but you didn’t because you’re just like them.”

“Please don’t do anything stupid, please, Jason.” You grab at him again, but he dodges your hand. You feel the tears overflowing, and your throat gets tight as your nose burns.

“Jason, please, just listen to me. Just think about this. Please don’t, Jason.” The tears have started to fall as you beg him.

The tears that roll down your face feel like knives slicing him open. He has to turn away. He can’t stand to see you cry, especially since he caused it. He doesn’t respond to your pleas as he makes his way up and out of the alley.

A huge booming noise towards Miagani pulls you back to the present. You can hear multiple rapid shots exchanged between tanks and the Batmobile. Pressing a button on the tempad on your wrist, you hear the low rumble of your motorcycle nearby. You jump off the building and press the button again. From around the corner, your bike appears. Positioning yourself on the bike, you grip the handlebars tightly, feeling the engine's vibration reverberate through your hands as you accelerate towards triple-digit speeds, racing towards Miagani Island.

Arriving at the scene, it is obvious you’re too late. Destroyed tanks fill the area, with some still burning. The thought of following Bruce crosses your mind, but it quickly vanishes once you see the tunnel. You’re very intrigued by the tunnel. The pull is irresistible, like a pirate under the spell of a siren's song.

As you slowly roll down, you’re stunned at the realization that there had been a massive militia presence under your feet this entire time. Your eyes dart from one direction to another, constantly scanning your surroundings. Despite the appearance of a complete evacuation, you remain on high alert, not lowering your guard. The tunnel opening fades from sight, leaving you with a pounding heart and a sense of unease. As you venture deeper, an unsettling feeling of being watched washes over you. You just blame it on nerves.

There’s a room on the left side of the tunnel. You wonder if there’s anything in there that could help find Barbara. You position your bike nearby in case you need a quick getaway. Walking around, you examine every piece of paper, nook, and cranny. Luckily, your search isn’t wholly void; you find some Batarangs.

As you stand from picking up the Batarangs, the feeling of being watched is so strong you quickly whip around to look at the door. Your blood runs cold as you come face to face with the Arkham Knight.

“It must be my lucky night, getting two of you little heroes in a row. Even better is that you brought yourself to me.” His modulated voice adds to echoes around the room.

Without meaning to, you’ve taken a step back. Arkham Knight matches by stepping forward.

“If we’re going to fight, let’s get on with it.” What sounds like a laugh comes through his helmet before he lunges at you.

His fist met your body quick and hard. Blocking as many as you could, you landed some of your own. Each punch from you lands with a resounding thud against his combat suit. You're doing well until he grips your shoulders, forcefully slamming you against his knee. The impact of his knee against your stitched-up side sends a lightning bolt of pain all over. As the pain rattles your body, you crumble to the ground, feeling the hard surface beneath you. His towering body seemed even more looming as he stared down at you.

He straddles your body, not even flinching as you thrash and punch him. He tightly grips your neck, his hands constricting like a vise. You know you’re going to be bruised. As he tries to suffocate you, you swiftly wrap your legs around his waist, desperately seeking leverage. You attempt to gain an advantage by extending your arms as far as possible, pushing against the front of his helmet, and contorting your body to move his head back. His grip on your neck relaxes ever so lightly as you twist his neck further to the side.

With his grip still on your neck, you brace your arms in a triangle-like shape under his. Slamming them against his, you break out of the lock he has on you. Following it with a kick to his chest. The impact is jarring, sending a shockwave of sensation up your legs. With a backward roll, he allows you to rise to your feet. When you turn to face him, you see the Knight back on his feet, ready for another round. Both of you stand there, eyes locked, the tension palpable. He waits for you to bolt out the door as you wait for him to lunge at you.

He jerks his head at the doorway, “Go ahead, run.” Even through the voice disruptor, you can hear the smirk he’s wearing.

You break the stand-off by slinging the batarangs at him. They take him by surprise, and he instinctively swipes at them in self-defense, giving you time to run towards your bike. You hear his footsteps thudding behind you as you approach your bike. Before you can swing your leg to get on, you’re being picked up and slammed down onto the dirt. Your brain rattles in your skull from the force, and you go blind with rage.

Going ballistic, you start punching and you don’t stop. Even as he blocks, you keep going, sidestepping his fist and his legs as he attempts to kick. You circle him so fast that he gets dizzy. Ducking down, you strike his midsection with jabs, then deliver an uppercut to his metal head. In a twisting motion, you aim to deliver a roundhouse kick, but he successfully catches your ankle as your foot comes close to him. You support him by propelling yourself towards him.

He wobbles backward. You entwine your legs around his waist and thrust yourself towards his center of mass. He falls to the dirt with a thud. Your strength doesn’t waver, not even when you’re on top. Straddling him, you slam the front of his helmet with both hands. Despite repeating the process, the glass remains unbreakable. Yanking out one of your blades, you aim for his unarmoured neck. Just before the blade hits, he grabs your arms only centimeters away.

“I wonder how Batman will feel about this murder attempt?” He taunts you.

Determined to get the blade through his neck, you push as hard as you can. “I wonder how it’ll feel when I slice through your vocal cords.” You snarl back at him.

He chuckles, pretending he doesn’t feel the blade against his Adam’s apple.

You lean forward, using your body weight to press the blade down. It backfires and allows him to ram his helmet against your forehead. After you tumble off of you, you attempt to crawl toward your bike. The black spots in your vision make it almost impossible to see it.

Arkham Knight stands there, watching as you crawl to your motorcycle. He almost for half a second feels for you. For half a second, he thinks back to when he was Robin. He thinks of that little boy so full of red-hot rage, so stubborn to prove himself. He sees Jason Todd in you. Soon, images of himself crawling away from Joker derail his mind. The asylum’s grimy, moldy floors squeak as he moves away from Joker. The new Robin suit being caked with blood and the massive headache he had all the time.

He can’t breathe. He hates watching you crawl. He hates seeing you. He hates Batman. He wants him to pay, to feel how he feels. He needs to send a message.

He stalks over to you, and once he’s close enough, he kicks you in the side so hard you flip over. He places his boot on your chest, applying enough pressure to make you wheeze.

“Don’t blame me for this. Blame Batman. He wasn’t here to protect you. He left you all alone.” He says it like he’s pitying you. No teasing or taunting, just pity.

He takes a small gun and aims it at your chest. You double-click the button on your tempad that alerts your bike to come to your location. It roars to life and charges in your direction. The speed of the bike causes his instincts to kick in, and he swiftly leaps aside. With lightning speed, you mount the bike and zip away. As you emerge from the tunnel, the sight of the Gotham streets greets you, and in that moment, a wave of relief washes over you.

Standing there, the Knight watches you disappear into the distance, the sound of the motorcycle reverberating off the walls. He raises the gun, his finger hovering over the trigger, but then abruptly lowers it, a moment of hesitation flashing in his eyes. He’ll wait until the perfect moment. He wants Batman to witness your death. Nothing and no one is safe from the Arkham Knight, and he’s going to make sure that Bruce knows that.

taglist: @thegirlwiththeyarn @pank0w @geminizmoonz @emilia527 @elizamay @anime5005 @babypaperwitch @skypperlegacy @rwylm-things @mayo-0-o @ex-cla-ma-tion @pheonixfucu @not-herexo @g0atmansbridge182 @theg0ddesshera @redhoodedangel @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @marigiano @lyralibra @lilocapoca @misaki-kira8 @blackcanary130 @ykyouluvme @kiwi03 @xbonniepricexx @definitelynotanalien @ghostlyleech @pinkmaggit666 @0littlestwolf0 @stupid-ninja @reanie-xoxo @kittykatchicha @bunz-lover @justalittleb1tcrazy @gghoulpool @snackeyalleyjuice @deadplantluver @comealivedaya @thefandomdiaries07 @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @awstrck @gemini-bichxx-blog @jennifermoyas @xdrin @harleycao @screamingsilence3 @ex-pinguina @kat-nee

[littleshitnbr-1]

Project Nightingale

Batman had been revisiting Cadmus’s files after a concerning new development about the facility during a Young Justice mission. He had been primarily looking for anyone involved in the project so they could be found and questioned. When going through the files he comes across a sloppily deleted file named Project Nightingale that had somehow gone unnoticed in his previous visits. He was able to quickly restore the file and examine it. Project Nightingale was the first human cloning project dating back 13 years. The project was a starting point for cloning the justice league, they were able to get samples of Batman's DNA from his numerous nighttime outings. Batman felt his blood run cold as realized what had occurred for years right under his nose. Batman continued to delve into the file going through the details of the numerous failed “projects” Pictures of each failed clone were listed along with graphic descriptions of reasons for failure and development. Most of the original clones never made it past 8 weeks of gestation but as the project continued pictures of fetuses changed into infants to toddlers to children all failed and deformed in some way. Batman felt bile rise in his throat as he methodically went through and read the file his emotions were at war with each other anger, fear, hate, sadness, disgust, and loss ran through him as he read. He had gone through over 50 failed clone documents before he came across subject 51 staring before him was a series of pictures of a very face, even though this was a supposed clone it did not look exactly like the man under the mask there were enough differences in the clones facial features to know while highly close, this face matched another, one Astro Engineer under his employment for the past 4 years. The face of Daniel Nightingale stared at him in his last development picture aging him to be 14 years old. 

[thechangeling]

The Seasons Change Part 2

Tiberius: Fall

I meant to most this earlier but life happened. However, technically the end of November is still fall so we're good. If you're wondering what this series is about exactly, I recommend checking part 1 where I posted an explanation.

This is for Rory, my fellow fall lover.

There’s a certain ease in Ty’s breathing, a lightness in his chest in fall. As soon as it begins to get darker earlier, and the leaves change colour and begin to fall from the trees, he instantly feels freer, more at peace.

 Fall is sacred. It always has been. From the smell of the rain on the dying leaves, to drinking tea with cinnamon on the steps of the institute, to the anticipation surrounding halloween, he and Livvy’s favorite holiday. They used to love going to the pumpkin patch to pick one out to display in front of the institute. Helen used to argue it was pointless, seeing as there would be no trick or treaters coming to their door, but she eventually relented. Their mother used to take them when they were little, until she was too sick to take them anywhere, and Andrew Blackthorn made it very clear how he thought halloween was a ridiculous concept. Mundanes dressed up as what they thought were fake creatures and monsters, whilst they were completely and utterly oblivious to the real downworlders and demons living amongst them, and to the shadowhunters that kept them safe. 

So Helen had been responsible for taking Julian, the twins, Emma and Drusilla to the pumpkin patch for a few years, until she was banished to Wrangel island and Julian took over for her. Livvy loved stomping around in the mud with her big rubber boots, and had even started a few mud fights with Drusilla over the years. However they both knew that throwing mud at Ty was absolutely prohibited. He hated the feeling of it on his skin. But he enjoyed watching his sisters running around madly chucking dirt at each other’s faces. It was fairly entertaining.

When Ty was younger he would always feel badly for all the deformed and rotting pumpkins and try and bring them home, much to his siblings horror and displeasure. Julian would patiently explain to him that they had to pick a pumpkin that they could reasonably carve without it falling apart on them or running out of space. As if Ty simply wasn’t aware of that. He was. He just hated the idea of all those lone rejected pumpkins being left there to rot because nobody wanted them, because they were too broken to be loved. 

Maybe there was a metaphor in there somewhere. He wasn’t an idiot. 

They hadn’t celebrated Halloween properly until after they lost their father, Helen, and Mark, and Julian had allowed them to be exposed to more mundane media, movies and tv shows which had brought on Drusilla’s horror movie obsession. Their parents had discouraged them from eating candy as they argued it was too unhealthy for shadowhunters, and they forbad them from trick-or-treating. Julian wasn’t thrilled about the idea of them trick-or-treating, but he did buy them candy from the grocery store, and allowed them to dress up in Halloween costumes every year. Ty wasn’t as enthusiastic about the dressing up part, but Livvy absolutely loved it so he had tolerated it for her. There were so many situations where that was the case. 

And then of course there was their birthday. 

Ty used to love it. It was his and Livvy’s day, the symbol of the fact that they came into this world together, that they were connected in ways that none of their other siblings were. He used to love the process of giving Livvy her gift and watching her face brighten with a gleeful smile, no matter what it was. Because the gift was from him.

That would never happen again. 

Livvy thankfully was still with him, as he had managed to bring her back in ghost form, but they would never be able to celebrate their birthday together in the same way. She would never age, but he would. 

So Ty had resolved to simply ignore it. Just like he had ignored halloween. He wasn’t allowed home until the winter break anyways. 

He was currently sitting by his window, picking the white paint off the surrounding windowsill and watching the rain pour down outside. His headphones were blasting Ethel Cain’s Preacher’s Daughter for what was possibly the 50th time now, but he didn’t want to miss any potential details. Livvy was quietly floating in the background, just out of the corner of his eye. She most likely had sensed that he wanted peace and quiet even if he wasn’t sleeping, which was true. She had always been impeccable at interpreting his moods. Part of being twins, he supposed. 

Ty was also distinctly ignoring the fact that today was November 18th. From now on, it was just like any other day. Livvy had attempted to change his mind multiple times, even resorting to pleading, but Ty wouldn’t concede.

 How could it be his birthday if it wasn’t Livvy’s? 

Ty checked his clock. It was 2 in the morning. He should really try to get some sleep, even if he had been unsuccessful so far tonight. This wasn’t unusual for him lately since he was attempting to spend the next month sober at Livvy’s request. After he had very nearly arrived late to an exam, hungover after a night of binge drinking he had reluctantly agreed to a small bout of sobriety, at least until he had gotten through his midterms. Livvy had been wanting him to give up drinking all together for months now, but that was impossible. His current insomnia was proof of that, among other things. 

He considered reading some more of the book Dru had lent him. She had convinced him to join the makeshift book club she and her friend Thais had started, with the promise of reading mystery novels. Ty was grateful, seeing as he wasn’t certain he could stomach reading the romance novels they had been giggling over during the summer every time they talked on the phone or over video chat. They had thankfully moved onto horror novels in October for the Halloween season, but Ty still gravitated towards mysteries. 

However, this one was currently proving lackluster. Ty had already guessed the ending within the first few chapters and now the rest of the novel was unfortunately feeling like a slog. 

Oh well, it was better than nothing. He wasn’t actually in the mood to re-read Sherlock Holmes. It would simply bring up too many uncomfortable and conflicting memories and emotions. He slid down off the windowsill and picked up the book off his neatly organized wooden nightstand. There was an alarm clock with a stack of books he was planning to read beside it, organized by priority from top to bottom. His phone sat on the other side of his alarm clock, closest to the wall so it could be charged. He let the music continue to play through his wireless headphones as he rearranged himself into a comfortable but practical reading position, which was a feat in and of itself. Livvy gave him a small smile, which he returned.

Just when Ty had managed to settle and pick up where he had left off in the story, there was a frantic knock on his door. 

“Ty are you awake?” Anush’s voice carried through the door. “I’m sorry, but we need you. It’s sort of an emergency.” 

Ty bit back the urge to groan, and shut his book. “Yes, what is it?” 

Anush took that as a sign to open the door and rush in. He was in his pajamas and he looked as if he was not fully awake. “Sorry I know it’s late,” he lowered his voice slightly. “But I was on my way to the bathroom and that werewolf girl, you know the one who's helping us with the case? She’s sort of..freaking out.” 

This time Ty made no effort to contain his long sigh. Alyssa Reyes was the girl in question, and the case was the murder of one of the werewolves of her pack, which Maia had requested the Scholomance’s involvement in, given the obscure details of the situation. It was meant to just be the graduated Centurions involved in the investigation, but Ty had requested specifically to be included in the investigation as a way to demonstrate his knowledge, and receive practical experience in a real life setting. He was already receiving high marks in all his classes but it never hurt to aim higher and work harder, especially when Ty found the material engaging. 

Your liver would disagree, Livvy had argued. 

Ty paid her no mind. School wasn’t the reason he drank, not in the least. 

Ty strained his sleep-addled brain for a way to phrase what he was about to say without potentially offending Anush, but quite frankly he was too exhausted and exasperated to care. 

“Why are you telling me this? Why not just wake Professor Fell and tell him to contact the New York pack?” Ty ran his fingers through his hair, fingers tugging on the slight waves. 

Anush looked a little sheepish. “I don’t think he would appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night and I don’t particularly feel like dealing with an angry warlock. Besides I figured this is more your area of expertise anyway.” 

Ty furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why? I barely know her. And I can’t stand her.” This last part was probably unnecessary to mention, however, it was true. Ty was at the end of his rope when it came to dealing with Alyssa. She was a brat, she was temperamental and aggressive, sometimes bordering on rude, and she gave off the impression that she was always uncomfortable and annoyed by everyone around her, but always insisted that she was fine. 

Anush let out a snort. “Yeah well, despite that. I think when you see her you’ll get why I wanted your help.” He rubbed his face in exhaustion. “Just, please Ty? Please come with me?” 

He shot a quick look over at Livvy, trying not to appear too obvious and alert Anush that something was amiss. She shrugged. 

“You should probably go. I can wait here. It’s fine.” 

Ty sighed. Well it wasn’t like he was sleeping anyways. 

XXXX

Almost instantly as he and Anush made their way down the dark corridors, using the flashlight on Ty’s phone to illuminate their path, he could hear the sounds of what was causing Anush’s concern. Broken gasping sobs that began to grow louder and louder as they approached the end of the hallway. Ty had the urge to slip his headphones over his ears to block the sound, but he suspected it wouldn’t be helpful for dealing with the situation. As they rounded several corners and finally approached what appeared to be their destination, an abandoned classroom that was no longer used, he could hear a loud thumping sound accompanying the sobs. Ty wanted to check Anush’s face for any indication to what he was meant to be interpreting from this situation, but it was impossible to see in the pitch black. 

Seeing no point in delaying, Ty pulled the door to the study open and was met with a flood of light, and a sight that genuinely brought a chill to his blood. The room looked like a bomb had gone off. Desks and bookshelves were overturned, the ground was littered with books, loose papers, pencils and broken glass. He realized in horror that the source of said broken glass was one of the windows which now had a hole in it. 

And in the middle of the disaster, almost as if she was the centerpiece of an abstract art exhibit, was Alyssa Reyes curled up into a ball on the floor. She was slowly banging her head back against the wall almost rhythmically and digging her fingernails into her forehead, pulling at the roots of her hair.

“Holy fuck,” Ty whispered, unable to conjure any other words at the moment. 

“Yeah, I was hoping you would know what to do since it looks like she’s having a meltdown.” Anush replied softly.

Ty shook his head slowly in disbelief. “I’ve never destroyed a room like this before.” 

It was true that he had wrecked some havoc in the midst of meltdowns as a child, especially when his father was killed. He even used to bash his head back against the wall just as Alyssa was now. Helen and Mark, and later Julian would put their jackets or pillows behind his head in an effort to cushion the blows. Eventually as he matured they had realized he needed to redirect the stimuli somewhere else, either by applying pressure around him or by giving his things to stim with. Although they hadn’t known what it was at the time. And Ty was too young to explain it.

At this moment Alyssa seemed to become aware of their presence and her dark brown eyes narrowed in wild fury, fresh tears pouring from them. 

“Fuck you” she sputtered out, her breath hitching. “Get out.” 

Ty tried not to take her aggression personally , seeing as he could often be combative and irrational when he was having a meltdown. However, it was difficult to be sympathetic when most of Alyssa’s day-to-day behavior wasn’t any better. 

“I’m here to help you!” Ty protested, slowly moving towards her. He noticed that she had stopped hitting her head and appeared to now be putting all her energy towards pulling out her hair and yelling at him. 

She let out a garbled sound that was impossible for Ty to decipher and shook her head. “Bullshit,” she sobbed. “You don’t care about me. You don’t care about her. We’re not even people to you.” She wiped her eyes frantically, but it was futile as a fresh batch of tears formed.  “Just an assignment, or a way for you to like, get your fucking deploma in what ever the fuck this is! She’s dead, but nobody cares! We just get picked off and it means nothing!” 

So this was about the dead werewolf. Niyah was her name, Ty recalled. And he could see why she felt that way. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care.

He slowly fell to his knees in front of her. “You mean something,” he said carefully. “Everyone means something. This matters to me.” He reached for her hands slowly. “Please.” 

Alyssa shook her head again and slapped his hand away. “No! You don’t understand.” She began scratching at her arms, dragging her long nails across her light brown skin. 

She was right. He didn’t understand. Not exactly. But he was used to this feeling. 

“What don’t I understand, Alyssa?” 

She let out a watery scoff. “Everything. Everything’s so wrong. This world is fucked. And I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t handle the suffering, the injustice, the fucking noise. Like, it’s all so much, it’s so heavy and I feel everything! I feel all of it and I can’t shut it off.” She rested her head against her knees and rubbed her forehead against the material of her jeans. “And I hate you! I hate everyone all the time and I don’t know how to stop!”

Ty didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t notoriously the best at comforting people. But he wanted to try. Something about this girl falling apart in front of him made him want to try and reach for her, even if she would just slap his hand away and snarl. 

He turned to Anush who was still awkwardly waiting in the doorway. 

“Can you go to my room and get my stuffed bumblebee? It should be on my bed.”

Anush nodded almost eagerly. Perhaps he was grateful to be given something else to do. 

Ty turned back to face Alyssa who was still resting her head on her knees and curled in on herself in a protective ball, hair falling around her face like a dark obsidian vail. 

“I promise you I’m going to figure out who killed the member of your pack. It won’t bring her back, but it will hopefully bring you some closure.” 

Alyssa raised her head at that, her eyes red and swollen and strangely unexpressive. 

“People make promises all the time. They pretty much never keep them.” 

Ty shook his head furiously. “I keep my promises. I assure you. I know what it feels like to be deceived. To be let down. But I will do everything in my power not to let that happen.”

And he meant it. When Ty decided he was going to do something, he didn’t change his mind. He didn’t back down, and he certainly didn’t let the desperate words of some boy persuade him otherwise. 

He mentally shoved that final thought back down where it belonged. Far away out of reach.

“Why?” Alyssa’s voice sounded hoarse and drained of life. “Why do you care?” 

Ty shrugged. “Because I do.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “That’s not a fucking answer.” 

“Well it’s the only one I have, and it’s the truth.” 

He heard the sound of Anush’s steps rushing back towards the open-doored classroom, but he kept his gaze on Alyssa. She wasn’t making eye contact with him which wasn’t a surprise, and he was grateful. But she was staring at his face pensively. 

“I just can’t take anymore disappointment right now,” she said softly. Ty wanted to ask her what she meant by that but Anush cleared his throat, signaling his arrival.

“Here.” He held out the bumblebee plushie to Ty. If he seemed confused by Ty asking for it, Ty couldn’t tell. 

Ty bit his lip as he fidgeted with one of the bumblebees wings. “I thought you might want to hold onto this for a minute,” he told Alyssa. It used to help me a lot when I was younger when I had meltdowns. It still comforts me to hold sometimes.” He hoped he didn’t sound ridiculous. “I don’t want you to keep hurting yourself.” He gestured to her arms.

Alyssa was silent for a moment and Ty began to worry he had made a severe miscalculation, but then she slowly reached for the bumblebee, pulling it into her arms and squeezing tight. 

“What’s their name?’ 

“Oh. I actually never named them,” Ty admitted. For some reason he had never considered naming the stuffed insect, even when he was a child.

Alyssa looked at him incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Uh..” Anush chimed in. “Sorry to interrupt but i’m pretty exhausted. So, Ty if you don’t need me I'm gonna go.” 

Ty felt a pang of guilt at the realization that he had almost forgotten about Anush. “Yeah I should be alright. Thank you for getting me.”

And he meant it, strangely. Not that he usually made a habit out of saying things he didn’t mean, but it was strange how he wasn’t bothered by Alyssa’s presence anymore. 

Anush took his leave and had the sense to close the door on his way out. 

Alyssa piped up soon afterwards. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a problem.”

Ty bristled at her wording. “You’re not a problem.” 

Alyssa sighed. “I mean, I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like it. Or everything else is, you know?” 

Ty’s heart sank. Yes. Yes he knew. 

“Like, my mom is on my case about school and my future and I can’t tell her about any of this stuff, and I’m trying to settle into my pack but I never fit in anywhere and I still feel so alone you know? And then there was this girl who was nice to me at least but then she was fucking murdered, and I just want things not to suck for once!” Alyssa gestured animatedly as she spoke. “I don’t know, do you ever feel like everything’s just too hard? Like what’s the point in trying?”

Ty swallowed hard as a memory came to him. Something ought to be easy for once. Everything can’t always be hard all the time. 

“I don’t know.” He replied honestly. He knew that wasn’t what he was supposed to say. He was supposed to say you keep going for your family, for making the world a better place, solving mysteries or watching good movies or whatever people cared about. 

But he didn’t say any of those things. 

“What should we call the bumblebee then?” 

Alyssa smiled faintly. “I think his name should be Theodore.” 

Ty snorted. “Oh so it’s a he is it?”

“Yup.”

“And why Theodore?”

Alyssa shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t wanna go for something obvious like Bumble, and I think he kinda looks like a Theodore.” 

Ty couldn’t help but smile. “Alright then.” 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Ty almost considered putting Preacher’s Daughter back on but he figured that might be considered rude. But then again Alyssa might not care. 

“Sorry I was a bitch to you earlier by the way,” said Alyssa, fiddling with her hair. “I can be like that sometimes. It’s not personal. I mean.. Usually.” 

Ty bit his lip to fight a laugh escaping his mouth. “It’s ok. I didn’t realize you were autistic.” He paused. “Hang on, that came out wrong.” 

Alyssa giggled. 

“What I mean to say is, I didn’t realize how you were struggling. I should have been more sympathetic. I’m sorry.” 

Alyssa sighed, rearranging Theodore in her lap. “It’s fine. Most people usually assume the worst from me. You’re kinda lucky people know you’re autistic just by looking. They don’t assume you’re just weird or an asshole.”

Ty shook his head. “Not shadowhunters. Most of us don’t know about autism. And most people do just assume the worst.” 

Alyssa bit her lip. “Sorry. At least it doesn’t seem to have affected your standing in this place much, I mean. Shit.” She gestured vaguely in his direction. “You’re like their golden prodigy or whatever. Like congrats Ty, you won academia for whatever the fuck that’s worth.” 

Ty can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or making a joke, but either way the words leave a pit in his stomach. His gaze fell to the floor to offer an aura of protection. 

“Maybe. But, I’m not ok.” It’s scary to admit even though in theory it shouldn’t be. Not after everything Alyssa has already confessed and cried over. But it’s still difficult. “I think everyone always assumes I am. Or they assume if I’m not ok it means I need to be saved. But-” he paused. “I don’t know what I need.” He realized he was fidgeting with his fingers in his lap. “This is a different kind of not ok.”

“What do you mean?” Alyssa asked. Her voice sounded different then it had before in a way that was hard for Ty to pinpoint. Tired maybe. 

“I don’t know. I’m not just overwhelmed because the noise or lights are too much, or because my tag is making me want to rip my skin off. I’m not only sad because I've been rejected or because I've lost someone. Maybe sadness is part of it, but I don’t really know how I feel.” Ty swallowed. “I just know it isn’t right.” 

Ty surprisingly found himself wishing he could tell Alyssa about Livvy, and how she was here, but also not and how he worried about her. How she felt so far away now, not just physically in a material way but inside of him as well. Before he could always feel her right there in his chest, always making her presence known but now? It was like she was slipping away somehow. 

And then there was Kit.

No he definitely wasn’t mentioning Kit. 

“I just feel heavy,” he confessed, finally raising his gaze to her torso where she had her arms loosely wrapped around Theodore. 

 And drinking was really the only thing that made it feel better. 

Alyssa’s body shook slightly with her chuckle. “Yeah I think that’s just life.” 

Ty dug his fingernails into his palms.

 “Life is bullshit.” 

Alyssa was quiet for a moment. Ty peaked his gaze up at her face to check on her. Alyssa was staring at him without an obvious expression on her face. Ty couldn’t say for certain but she looked almost pensive. Or perhaps it was nothing. 

Then she smiled softly. It was the tiniest hint of lips curling upwards, but Ty caught it and felt strangely victorious. 

“What is it?”

Alyssa shook her head softly, “Oh, no. It’s just something I remembered. It’s nothing.” 

Ty was intrigued, but he didn’t want to pry. Alyssa would tell him if she wanted to. 

“Are you tired?” He asked. He wasn’t personally but he knew everyone else normally didn’t operate the same way he did. 

Alyssa’s face screwed up in contemplation for a minute. “Oh. I don’t even know anymore. I guess, yeah. But I don’t wanna go to sleep yet.” 

“Oh.”

“You can if you want!” She held Theodore out to him, and you can have your bumblebee back, sorry.” 

Ty shook his head. “No, you can keep him for a bit longer.” He almost made a mental note to get her one of her own for christmas if she celebrated, or her birthday, but that might seem too forward. They still technically didn’t know each other very well and Ty wasn’t sure what level of relationship you needed to reach with someone in order for it to be appropriate to give someone gifts. 

“I actually might stay up with you for a little longer, if that’s alright.”

“Oh,” Alyssa smiled faintly again and Ty tried to contain his growing excitement. “Sure. I could use some help cleaning this mess up anyways. Sorry, by the way.” 

Ty smirked for a second before he managed to bite it down. “No, it's fine. I can help you.” He pulled himself to his feet, ignoring his tired muscles groaning in protest. 

With the two of them sweeping glass, (thankfully there was a broom and dustpan in the closet) sorting, and picking up everything Alyssa had knocked over or thrown, it didn’t take long to mostly return the classroom to its former glory. The one glaring issue was of course, the giant hole in the window. Ty would have to speak to Professor Fell about it tomorrow and hope Alyssa wouldn’t be in too much trouble. 

Once they were done, Ty finally collapsed back into a comfortable position on the floor and rested his back against the wall. He was itching to return to listening to Ethel Cain, so he pushed his headphones back over his ears and pressed play on the album. He watched Alyssa lower herself down beside him with a sigh as the first few notes of Sun Bleached Flies began to fill his ears. 

Alyssa stimmed with Theodore’s wings for a bit before she looked up at his face again, studying him. 

“Ty, can you hear me?”

He nodded. 

Alyssa scoffed. Handy autism superpower huh? I never got it, so, sucks to be me I guess.” 

Ty didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t sure if Alyssa was looking for sympathy or not. The song continued to play in his headphones, lyrics softly registering in the back of his mind.

“Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for everything, and for what you said about Niyah, if you meant it.”

“I did mean it,” Ty said forcefully. 

Alyssa stared at him, silent for a moment. Ty almost considered asking her if she was ok or if she was falling asleep with her eyes open somehow before she finally nodded. 

“Ok.” 

It was then that Ty was struck by a certain lyric as it played. He had listened to this song dozens of times before but now something felt different. Something hit him differently. 

God loves you, but not enough to save you.

So baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself.

He stared at Alyssa’s face, meters from his own. He was close enough now to notice the circles under her eyes and the tears in the skin of her lips from constant gnawing, worry lines embedded deep within her forehead. 

People make promises all the time.

I just want things to not suck for once. 

He had misjudged Alyssa. And now he found himself, not only feeling the absence of the ire and resentment he had previously harbored towards her, but experiencing something very different now when he looked at Alyssa Reyes. 

And Ty was intimately familiar with this feeling. He felt it when Mark would lash out in distress and Helen looked so helpless. Every time he saw Julian exhausted, having to shoulder the weight of taking care of the family at such a young age, he felt it when he saw Tavvy cry or when Dru looked so defeated. He felt it when Livvy was stabbed. 

He felt it when Kit curled in on himself, when he wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t explain. And then he just lashed out and left. 

But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, you know this heart would break and fall twice as hard.

He didn’t know what to do with it. Not the growing feeling of warmth in his chest that had ended so badly last time, and not Alyssa’s pain. He didn’t know how to help. If there was something concrete he could solve like the murder of her packmate, or figuring out how to resurrect his sister from the dead then that was simpler. 

But this?

Human connection was complicated. Frightening. Turbulent. Rarely ended well for him. It was why he was doing his best to keep Anush at a distance. They were friendly, and Ty was fond of him, but exploring that led down a potentially dangerous road. 

Alyssa made a little noise that startled him out of his deep contemplation as she leaned back against Theodore, propping him between her head and the wall and using him as a pillow. Her eyes fluttered closed as her body sagged. 

She was going to have such a sore neck when she woke up. 

Oh well. Ty didn’t have the heart to move her. She actually looked quite peaceful. 

Against his better judgement he took off his hoodie and balled it up on the floor to use as a pillow, laying down gingerly next to Alyssa. 

Ty tried not to worry about how dirty the floor was. 

That was a problem for tomorrow. 

Tiberius Nero Blackthorn (and Livia Blackthorn)

Born November 18th 1997

Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Rising, and Virgo Moon

"Scorpios are difficult to get to know, and impossible to forget"

-Unknown

Tagging @the-bee-graveyard @grrrl-help @petalsofaflower-shutupthomas @littlx-songbxrd @arangiajoan @spooky-drusilla @wagner-felll

[buttercuparry]

You know it always hurt how the actors who played their respective characters on the show, loved them so dearly but Maisie couldn't ever seem to get that footing when it came to Arya. Emilia loved Dany and Nikolaj loved Jaime. Sophie was obviously on cloud 9 regarding Sansa...but Maisie...every time she spoke about Arya, it seemed like she had nothing in on the character except for those popular misconceptions. I know that this is on the actor themselves but Maisie was so, so young when GoT aired for the first time. Granted she could have given those books a chance later, so maybe this is on her but as an actor she was given a script and whatever she had been given, she always nailed it. She trusted those scripts and it is not like even if she had read the books, she could have had a say in the ( lack of )creative decision of the directors. My point is that there was no love nurtured for Arya in the show. With the plotline where Arya spent so much time on the road, it was necessary for them to dress the actor in rags, but still love could have been nurtured with how one chose to tell the story. I know show only viewers of any series often criticize book purists by saying that not everything on page can be translated for TV and it is true, but that's why we have a team of people working on a show so that even when it becomes necessary to leave out certain things, the essence of story is preserved. Or to even bring the story that has already been told in a book onto new heights ( like I have heard them doing with Jacob's vampire show)...but with GoT and especially when it came to Arya, they cut her down to a deformed skeleton of what the character was actually supposed to be. I don't know if I am remembering correctly but Maisie didn't like those ragged costumes. She was in school and Arya's costumes when on run didn't help Maisie's self esteem, and I understand that the get up with the hair and all was a very important part of the story but Arya had other dresses even when on the run! You are telling me Ed Sheereen ( is that how you spell the name) could be an extra on the set but could not get anyone to play Lady Smallwood? You had Sophie in her #girlboss dress at Vale but not one dress for Maisie with acorns? That's Arya's song. Arya's song with Gendry whom Arya fucked in the show. Stupid ass needle costume for Sophie but not even a rich mummer's cloak for Maisie? You butchered her story, you won't give her more than the bare minimum when it came to costumes. You won't style her...how would she know how to love Arya Stark? I also don't know about her friendship with Sophie. Like that's their business but why blindly agree with everything Sophie has had to say about your character? Like I know there was no research done on Maisie's part...that always sucks. But if the narrative set up by the writers too is that distorted and with a friend whose whole personality during filming was of a Stansa...then yeah it is no wonder why she couldn't really love Arya.

[twistedtummies2]

Requiem of the Rose King

I'm taking a brief break from kinky things, because I just want to briefly spotlight an anime I only just recently discovered and binged through. It's a fairly new series, having only completed it's run I think two years ago; I'm sort of surprised I didn't know about it sooner.

The series is entitled "Requiem of the Rose King." It is a reimagining of Shakespeare's "War of the Roses" saga, with the first season being inspired by the three-part play of "Henry VI" (with just the tiniest amount of "Richard II" thrown in), and the second season being based on the climactic finish of the saga, and one of my personal favorite plays in the Shakespeare canon, "Richard III." While these plays are of course dramas inspired by historical events, Shakespeare already takes liberties with history, and this anime even more so; therefore, I won't be considering historical detail at all. This will be solely looked at from the perspective of fiction and with relation to Shakespeare's work.

"Requiem" focuses primarily on Richard III; instead of his historical and Shakespearean scoliosis, Richard's infamous "deformity" is instead reimagined to him being an intersex male. This is only the first of many, MANY things that are reimagined from Shakespeare's stories. While the series is done with modern lingo for the most part, it not only contains multiple quotes and paraphrases from the Bard throughout, but also includes some original dialogue written in iambic pentameter, much as Shakespeare would have written it. So while a lot of things in here - from the language to the issues involved - are exceptionally modern day, the DNA of its classical theatre roots can still be easily found.

While the series carries over the basic plotline and most fundamental character relationships from the plays, what really changes are the motivations behind the characters and events, and the details of how things go down. For example: in "Richard III," the Duke of Buckingham is Richard's second-in-command, who eventually turns against Richard, and is depicted as being just as scheming and devious as Richard himself, if not even more so. All this is still true in "Requiem," but now there's the added wrinkle of the pair forming a romantic relationship, and it's their feelings for each other that ultimately lead to their conflict.

Richard, himself, is a highly complicated figure; it's hard to say what he is. I wouldn't say he's a misunderstood hero, nor would I say he's an anti-hero. I would like to say he's a sympathetic villain protagonist, but considering his enemies are often just as bad as he is, if not arguably worse, even that feels somewhat inaccurate. He still does many of the despicable things Richard does in the plays: he has his own brother murdered, personally slays Henry VI, captures and imprisons his nephews in the Tower of London, manipulates Lady Anne, and more. Even things he's NOT actually responsible for he either indirectly causes, or willingly takes the blame for reasons all his own. However, once you know the reasons why he does these things, and who the people he hurts really are, it becomes difficult to categorize him into any particular alignment. This ambiguity extends to the way his story ends, which I won't give away here, but seems fittingly uncertain for a character who is steeped in uncertainty throughout the show: from his personal identity to his goals to his purposes, Richard constantly questions himself and others, and every time he thinks he has an answer and can find order, something new comes along to thrust his life into further and further chaos.

Ultimately, "Requiem of the Rose King" is a tragic story: though thoroughly modern in its approach, it has a lot of the motifs and ideas present not only in Shakespeare's "War of the Roses" saga, but in the Bard's work in general. It's a unique tribute to arguably the greatest English playwright of all time (certainly the most famous), while also being an intriguing story in its own right. It probably won't be for everyone, given some of the themes involved and its loose treatment of both history AND the classical source materials, but if you have an open enough mind, I think you'll find a lot to enjoy here. I certainly did. Also, for anybody wondering if there are any characters worth "kink-ifying" in here...honestly, I still haven't made up my mind there. Time and tastes will tell. XD Oh, and in case you're all wondering, I chose to watch the English Dub of this series, for various reasons, and I can vouch for it and say it's an extremely good one. If, however, you prefer subs all the time, anytime, I imagine they won't be difficult to track down. :P

[booktomoviebrawl]

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

Mortal Engines:

GIVE HESTER A DEFORMING SCAR YOU COWARDS. But in all seriousness, there was a lot wrong with the adaptation. The book was very cinematic to begin with, with lots of grandeur and intrigue as Tom starts to unpack all the brainwashing he's grown up with. Then the movie turned Hester into a generic girl boss, wiped out all of Tom's character growth to make him a useless sidekick, and took out a lot of the cool world building and political intrigue. Oh, and heaven forbid Hester, who had her face run into with a sword, be in anyway disfigured. Even though Hester being "ugly" was what made me love her so much as an insecure teen girl.

Joyless. Unwilling to actually give the female lead a decent facial scar which is just embarrasing. Shoved in a chosen one narrative where there didn't need to be. Changed the entire ending from tragic to saves the day style shit. Worst of all it's a really niche property and seeing it suck ass is all that most people are ever gonna see of it but the books are So Good. CGI does slap tho

The cool, severely scarred female character is replaced by a girl with a teensy little cut on her face. The robot ethics are removed and the humor is stupid

Stormbreaker:

GOD it sucks the og book series deals with the whole fact that if a 14 y/o schoolboy became a spy he’d have TRAUMA and MISERY and HATE IT AND THE GOVERNMENT TOO but then the movie is like. la de da this is so fun tee hee i love being a spy :))) i hate it. i hate it with the power of 1000 suns why are you trying to make this shit GLAMOROUS. especially i hate the us release poster what IS that

Gonna be honest I watched this years ago so I don't remember exactly what was different but it was different enough that I didn't like it and I LOVED the book series

The absolute slap stickery of a mess that movie made of the supposedly cool spy boy and his descent into darkness due to adults who only use him for their own means , ptsd symptoms rising be damned

[forgingecgs]

droog - droog would have to most boring dreams i feel like he doesnt have to repress anything and his subconsciousness doesnt hold as many unknown things as slicks and his inner worlds existent but its really boring.

hed have realistic dreams about everyday tasks. and slick is there sometimes with the same role as he has every day and he wakes up still feeling tired after dreams with slick in it

hed know that they reveal a part of his subconscious and he might use it  to solve some of his problems or as a reason to reflect on something

slick – slick has so much repressed it would be a little crazy once it starts decompressing. it would still have an abstract form so it would be dreams where he has both normal arms but the right one goes limp or becomes paralysed or he plays at a concert and he keeps playing off-note and missing the keys. it would be like a window into how he sees it and the way it limits his actions and affects his life would have a more abstract expression

also the realism in his dreams could vary his inner world is on life support but he still has a way of processing and expressing reality in a deformed way the fact that he uses drawings for his schemes and starts role playing with it

and the fact that a lot of things have a chance to be internalised by him if they reach his views/world in any way.  a less meaningful side of it would be that once he watches some movie and given that it keeps his attention and makes any impression on him he may unknowingly start to act slightly like the character he thought was cool or the character that reminded him of himself but i dont think hed be able to acknowledge that any characters like him hed just agree with whatever it says or he might hate it for whatever reason that he wont acknowledge in himself

the point is his mind has the ability to go to such places unlike droogs

slicks dreams would also consist of him going somewhere being in the process of some mission or a goal while droogs would be like random snippets of s day the most important element would be whats the main focus of the situation like he may be shopping or making coffee and its more in the moment while slicks more in the future

he might get vivid, realistic dreams about convoluted heist plans and something going terribly wrong and these would happen if theyve got upcoming heists and then he might get more careful and paranoid if too many elements overlap with the dream or get an urge to use the dream as an advantage but hed never allow that consciously he doesnt believe in dreams or that they make any sense at all

it could be about his past on derse too, really anything thats currently on his mind. or he gets sex dreams where hes running on all fours with a pack of dogs

deuce – deuce has  both realistic and abstract dreams and theyre usually about his wants like slick praises him in them or he takes a family photo with the crew. then the rest is the kind where hes a sausage in the sausage cooker rotating with other meats or that he turned into a beetle and drinks out of a droplet. it also could be dreams consisting of the things he forgot during the day and he wakes up and it feels surreal to him but then he remembers what it was about and hes happy he remembered and plans to take care it during the day but then he forh=gets the dream after a minute

boxcars – boxcars just doesnt have any dreams its like a black hole

then once every few months he gets a series of very typical dreams

hed just have the most normal dreams like every other person, it would be something like a classic example of a dream that would be shown in a cartoon. he could dream about being back on derse and getting lost in its winding architecture while he doesnt have his top on and everyone he works with sees him naked. or he dreams about running away from something and falling. hed have so many falling dreams

after being stuck in the horse calendar on rare occasions hed be dreaming about being back there grooming horses and feeding barn animals and watching month long sunsets in low quality print but that’s the most original it gets for him

[aethon-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 22 ❄️

@hprecfest daily prompts running through Dec 31. Goal is to find lesser-known or underrated works, even by well-known authors, to feature here.

*

Day 22: An Unfinished Fic

In Death, Standby by Sophisme (M, 94k, WIP)

Summary: For the better part of his bizarre early childhood Harry believed himself to be a snake. A rather dreadfully deformed snake, true, but a snake nonetheless. Why I rec it for this prompt: I think I will never get over this fic not being completed. This was such an intriguing take on Voldemort taking in Harry and how Harry would turn out as a result. There are so many interesting ideas explored here, like how Harry thinks he's a snake when he's little because the only 2 individuals he ever interacts with are Voldemort and Nagini. Regardless of it being nearly 10 years since this fic has updated, it is entirely worth the read, purely for the superb characterization and charming writing.

*

Running list of recs:

Day 1: Favorite under 5k | Such a Noble Villain Day 2: Comfort Fic | In Somno Veritas | Ouroboros Day 3: Podfic | a taste so good (i'd die for it) Day 4: Fic with Art | A Soulmate Like You Day 5: A Non-AO3 Fic | The Anti-Midas Day 6: Unreliable Narrator Fic | Anabiosis Day 7: A Canon-Compliant Fic | In Your Soul is Sealed a Pleasure Day 8: A Canon-Divergence Fic | Thirst Day 9: A Rare Pair Fic | dust in your pocket | A Breed Apart Day 10: A Fest Fic | In Your Image Day 11: A Dark Fic | As Portioned from a Whole Day 12: A WIP Rec | Lover's Spit | Revolution of Configured Stars Day 13: A Fic >100k Words | One Year In Every Ten | if we were lovers Day 14: A Favorite Series | The Immortal Duties of Lord Voldemort Day 15: The Most Recent Bookmark | Creatures of the Dark we are Day 16: A Fic that Made You Laugh | Make a Wish | Do You Want Fries with That? Day 17: A Fic that Made You Cry | We Still Have Time Day 18: A Fairy Tale-Inspired Fic | Until Midnight Comes  Day 19: Fic with the Hottest Smut | Prison Blues Day 20: A Fic Rated 'G' | Fingers Crossed Day 21: A Thought-Provoking Fic | on the other side Day 22: An Unfinished Fic | In Death, Standby

[praetorqueenreyna]

lovely and lonely, Tamlin/Lucien, Chapter 18

Summary: a shift in his relationship inspires Tamlin to begin sending his sentries across the wall again.

Click here to read on AO3, or continue reading below!

48 years after the curse

Lucien never truly grew used to Tamlin’s beauty. Especially when it was just the two of them and he let his glamour fall. He was radiant, a godlike being plucked out of the most reverential myths. It was a sacrilegious miracle that he, deformed as he was, had permission to touch him, let alone everything else they did together.

Tamlin’s eyes were closed, making it easier for Lucien to admire him. His head lolled back, braced against one of Lucien’s thighs. They had just finished a bath, dirty and exhausted from their work patrolling the borders of Spring. At Lucien’s insistence, Tamlin rested himself between Lucien’s legs, the Autumn male sitting on the edge of the bath with the High Lord sitting on a low shelf in the water. It was the perfect position for Lucien to groom Tamlin’s wild mane. Tamlin never did more than wash it with harsh soap and brush it out, which Lucien considered a travesty. Tamlin grumbled over the long minutes Lucien spent in meticulous care of vanity, but he allowed the indulgence all the same.

At the end of the routine, Lucien was massaging oil into Tamlin’s scalp. His fingernails scraped behind one of Tamlin’s ears, which got the High Lord purring contently. Lucien bit back a laugh; if Tamlin thought that he was being made fun of, he would stop. And Lucien so loved the delighted rumble that reverberated through Tamlin’s chest, making the water around him ripple with the vibrations.

“All done,” Lucien finally announced. Tamlin turned and hoisted himself out of the pool, practically spilling into Lucien’s lap. Before Lucien could complain about being splashed with bath water, Tamlin was kissing him. His mind completely emptied as Tamlin pressed his back against the cool marble of the bathroom floor. Their lovemaking was slow and lazy, a deep sensual push and pull. Hours, days, or even weeks might have passed by and Lucien would be none the wiser. He would gladly spend eternity here.

Afterwards, Tamlin pressed a series of chaste kisses along the column of Lucien’s neck and down his shoulder. “I love you,” he mumbled against Lucien’s sweat-slick skin.

Despite the heat, Lucien froze, ice cold water drenching his soul and shocking his senses. Neither of them had ever said those words to each other. Despite their past fifty years together, Amarantha’s curse had hung over them, tainting everything they had together. It had been an unspoken rule not to say it, knowing that any moment, Tamlin would have to give his heart to another. Even as the terms of the curse drew to an end, they hadn’t said it. To say it would be a harsh reminder that they were running out of time. That they could never truly belong to each other.

Too late, Lucien realized he had been staring blankly up at Tamlin. Something in those green eyes shattered, and he looked away. “Shit, I’m sorry, I—”

Lucien forestalled any unwanted apology by pulling Tamlin down to him, kissing him fiercely. “I love you,” he whispered against Tamlin’s teeth. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

**********************************

The next day, Tamlin began sending out his sentries across the wall. They were confused but elated, pleased to be doing something as the deadline of their destruction drew nearer. Only Lucien knew. That heated exchange on the marble floor had ignited something in Tamlin. He had to fight, now that he had something worth saving. It was terrifying to know that all of this was for Lucien. Even as his comrades were slain one by one, he couldn’t help but selfishly be glad that Tamlin was trying again.

The dam had broken and the flood rushed forth. They said “I love you” a hundred times a day. Tamlin fucked him as if he thought Lucien would dissolve under his fingertips. Soon enough, all of their bedding was torn to shreds from Tamlin’s claws sinking into the mattress as he came, groaning “I love you” into Lucien’s throat. This too was terrifying; Tamlin seemed to be saying goodbye, intent on leaving his mark on Lucien so that when they were inevitably separated, Lucien wouldn’t forget him.

As if he ever could.

Eventually, there were three: Tamlin, Lucien, and Andras. Brave fool that he was, Andras went out every day across the wall. He refused to let Lucien be the sacrificial lamb. “You’re basically the only thing keeping this court running. I’m a dumb grunt. I’m replaceable,” he laughed whenever Lucien pleaded with him to stop. Empty words; they all knew the real reason. Andras loved Tamlin, and knew that he’d be devastated if Lucien were killed.

Against all odds, Andras lasted a full month. Every morning, he would kneel before Tamlin, the general of an extinct army. Tamlin would solemnly lay his hand on his forehead, infusing him with shapeshifting magic until the fae was replaced by a wolf. Lucien thought there should be more ceremony to the whole thing, but Andras refused. He didn’t want them to act like it was their last moments together.

They were in Tamlin’s office when it happened. Even with the world in ruins, there was still bullshit paperwork to go over. Lucien was going over a proposal for some agricultural reform, fingers kneading against his temples as he tried to decipher the dry, complicated prose. He glanced up to ask Tamlin a question, only for the words to die in his throat. Tamlin was staring off in the middle distance, face slack with shock. It could only mean one thing.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Lucien asked pointlessly. Grief overwhelmed him. After all he had experienced, he hadn’t known that he could still hurt like this. He really hadn’t ever expected Andras to die. Andras was strong and dependable as a redwood tree, growing straight and true for centuries. He had been the first friend that Lucien had made in Spring. When Lucien’s heart was broken, pining over Tamlin, he had shared his bed to ease the pain. Lucien could still feel the touch of chapped lips and beard stubble against his cheek, warm calloused hands holding him tight. And now he was dead.

“He’s gone,” Tamlin echoed. “He was killed by a woman.”

Lucien’s heart stopped. Almost every other sentry had been killed by humans who didn’t fulfill the terms of the curse. He had already assumed the same had happened for Andras, and was preparing himself to begin going across the wall. It seems he didn’t need to. “A woman?”

“A young, human woman. With hatred in her heart.” Tamlin’s gaze was still unfocused, still with Andras, in that connection that only the High Lord could have with his subjects. Unbeknownst to him, tears began to fall.

This was happening. Lucien rose to his feet, speaking in a steady voice that didn’t betray the tumult of emotions in his heart. “I’ll have Alis prepare a room.”