#ruki's music listening

[griffinsspike]

listened to Genesis's Foxtrot today

I sure do love Hammond organs and the time signature 9/8

[renamami]

RuRei x Epic The Musical Brainrot

I whipped this up rq so it isn't my best work but I need to feed my obsession with both. Penelope! Reiji shall come later 💕

[gaymergirlie]

On break at work, heavy metal blasting my eardrums while I kick my feet and giggle thinking about a snuggly Lucien nuzzling into a touch-starved Caryalind’s neck

[a9saga]

tbt - the gazette - bath room // i wish i were a hot goth doctor

[gazetto-no-ki]

2024.08.06 Ruki on IG:

"August. Lately, I feel like I keep encountering passing showers in Tokyo. Were there always this many passing showers? 🌂

Even now, I can hear thunder.

For about the past month or so, there have been days when I wanted to block out music for a while.

But I wanted to feel with my own ears and eyes what makes me happiest.

So, I deliberately went out of my way to go to festivals I had never been to before, and attended live performances of artists I've been listening to since my teenage years.

I finally got the courage to actually go and experience music in person.

Every live performance by the artists was wonderful, and I discovered new music that I came to love.

Thinking that I wouldn't have encountered this music if I hadn't gone, I'm truly glad I made the effort.

The time I spent shutting everything out was necessary for me, but after all, live performances are the place I love the most.

Not only watching the stage but also seeing the faces of people around me enjoying themselves, I realized that live performances, where you can participate freely regardless of age or gender, are truly the best.

Why was I drawn to it? What made my heart dance? I felt with my whole being that this is the kind of irreplaceable time that cannot be substituted by material things as I immersed myself in the sound.

These are the moments that take me away from reality and give me intangible treasures allowing me to get back to my everyday life. They are truly precious times.

Being able to stand on stage as Ruki and deliver music and feelings to everyone as a vocalist is such a blessing.

Those continuous precious moments reminded me of the meaning of standing on stage and deeply inspired my heart to create more of my own music.

Next month, it will be my turn. I plan to use this experience to give my all in the live performance.

I can't wait to see everyone. I'll look at each person's face carefully and sing with all my heart, hoping that my feelings reach you.

It's still going to be hot for a while, but let's take care of ourselves and get through the summer. 🙏

#RukiUpdate"

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Ruki (on X):

From January to July, so many things have happened.

Amidst the whirlwind of days, I questioned what is right and what is normal? While swaying between emotions and reason, I was constantly making various choices, and desperately running through each day.

In such times, I was supported solely by everyone's concerned voices and the words "I love you."

Thank you always.

And although it's been a while, I wrote on Instagram. I hope this reaches everyone who loves me. ✉️

It's been about two months since my last post.

Seeing the closet still filled with winter clothes, I realized that this year, for me, there was no spring. Time stopped in winter, and then summer came.

I noticed that I had been putting off such a basic thing as living, and I finally did a long-overdue wardrobe change the other day.

Life is built on daily choices, an accumulation of decisions.

Only you can decide if those choices and your life are right or wrong.

The responsibility for your life is yours and yours alone.

I feel that trying to conform to the standards of "normal" for others will only make you feel more miserable when you are going through a tough time.

It's the same for everything; it's okay not to be "normal" as measured by someone else's standards.

No matter the relationship, I believe it's impossible to fully understand all of someone's inner struggles and pain. Fans' pain and our pain, human wounds vary from person to person.

Therefore, the way and speed at which wounds heal also vary for each person. The way you accept things too. It's okay if it's not the same.

Because the heart is a place that cannot be seen from the outside, others can't understand those wounds, and in fact, even we ourselves cannot measure how deep our wounds are.

Everyone, might be forcing a smile on the outside, and when they come home, no one sees the emptiness they are feeling, and they probably don't want to show it to anyone.

The way I've spent my days, I was told, wasn't very human-like, but I think that's okay.

Now, rather than sadness, I feel loneliness.

Because I am human, I know that I will meet them again someday.

So, thinking that way, I am accepting it now.

Although I feel lonely without Koron and Reita, for now, goodbye. This reminded me of when I wrote the lyrics for QUIET.

And when the day comes that we can meet again, I want to live in a way that I'll be told, "You lived a good life."

In reality, there are four of us now, but not as a mere illusion; another face is vividly present in my mind.

So, the feeling of being five members is not a lie. That will surely be forever.

After thinking about it all, I've come to the conclusion that I need to start living each day in a way that will leave a lot of proof that I lived.

I want to create music and things with more love than ever before.

Although my core approach to making music hasn't changed, what I feel I want to draw and leave behind now has changed significantly.

I want to cherish every moment, even the most ordinary ones, like taking pictures of everyday life, going to different places and feeling the scenery, the smells, all the things that I can only feel at that moment.

And if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I think it’s okay to put everything on hold and take a break without overthinking it. It’s okay to stop pushing yourself for a while.

If I hadn’t taken a step back, I wouldn't have reached this mindset.

Then, bit by bit, listen to music you love, visit places that bring you joy, and heal your heart.

I'm gradually doing that myself too.

I hope everyone can find their own way of healing.

And if this band, the GazettE, can become something that saves or heals even just one person, I will overcome anything.

To me, everyone who waits for us is my reason for living.

The only place where you can let out everything you can't express in daily life, I believe, is at live concerts.

So, I hope we can share that extraordinary space where we can shout and make noise together as much as possible.

I've said it before, but there will be more opportunities to meet from now on. Or rather, I will make them.

I want to increase the time I can enjoy with everyone who loves me, so please wait for it.

Next is Toyosu PIT announcement, so please check it out.

Thank you for reading such a long post. I'll write again

2024.07.18

[candypalace]

Translation: Heterodoxy Pamphlet. Music Writers Reflect on 20 Years of the GazettE, Part 1/6 (2002-2004)

Hello friends! As promised long long ago, I'm starting the Heterodoxy series where music writers reflect on their work with the band in the last 20 years. This might take some time since not all the texts are ready just yet, but I will do my best to finish them as quickly as I can. This is Part 1/6, hope you enjoy it!

scan credit: @rad-is-more

Text by Hiroko Yamamoto [1]

the GazettE was born in March 2002. The band was formed by Uruha and Reita, who were dear friends from elementary school, Ruki, who they crossed in the previous band (back when he was a drummer) and who later changed to vocals, and their first drummer, Yune, who also invited his buddy from a previous band, Aoi. Two months later, they played their first show at Meguro Rokumeikan, a live venue that can be described as a gateway to success for visual kei bands. Their first maxi single "Wakaremichi" has a melancholic, catchy melody and an impressive fast-paced sound. During the encore of their 20th anniversary live at Yoyogi National Gymnasium in March this year, Ruki looked back on the beginning of the band: "We are the GazettE, and 20 years ago we got together thinking this would be the last band of our lifetimes”. It was during those young days when the band was standing on the stage with recklessness and foolhardiness when such strong headbanging songs as “Kantou Dogeza Kumiai” and “Waifu” were created, yet they continue to stay popular to this day. The band's forward momentum is best represented by the time when they had to play “Kantou Dogeza Kumiai” over and over again because they didn’t have many original songs yet. While they were firing the audience up with their so-called "violent songs", they also had an amazing ability to write emotionally rich compositions with Showa-inspired melodies, such as "Juunanasai" (later included in the pamphlet with CD for their first Nippon Budokan concert). Everything in the GazettE of those early days, up to their make-up and costumes, was elusive and funny in a good way, as conveyed by "Sentimental na Onigokko", a song about bullying, which presents the listeners with a droll world view of a locked room.

The band’s first turning point came the following year. In 2003, when their first drummer left the band, Kai, with whom they had played together in session shows, quickly took his place. This made the current five members, and the band moved to a new office. It was Ruki who made a last-minute call to Kai, and the drummer had to join in right from the next day's show. From this point on the band’s rapid progress officially began. the GazettE of those times actively participated in organized taiban [2] events. They were even nicknamed “taiban killers”, as their heat-packed shows helped them steal away fans who had come to see other bands. In the next three months they released three consecutive four-track mini-albums, "COCKAYNE SOUP", "Akuyuukai" and "Spermargarita", which increased the number of their fans in geometrical progression. Incidentally, at the time they called themselves "Dai Nippon Itan Geisha Gazetto" [3]. The name derived from the thought of what the word “Visual Kei” would sound like if it was a Japanese word [4]. On their 15th anniversary in 2017, the band held a concept show at the Yoyogi National Stadium. On that stage today's the GazettE performed songs from the Dainippon Itan Geisha era, so hopefully fans who didn’t know their early days got to know them. The sense of unity between band and fans that rose steam from the live house, the "Jump to us!" screams, and the band's stage presence all developed during that exact period. Back in September of 2003, the band sold out a two-day one-man show at Takadanobaba AREA, and only four months later, in January 2004, their one-man show "JUDGMENT DAY" at SHIBUYA-AX was sold out. On the day of the show, the venue was overflowing with fans, and the venue’s doors were barely closing. The band was not informed that the tickets had been sold out until the day of the show, and how they were surprised by the scenery in front of them and the crowd’s enthusiasm almost seems funny today.

Particular about every aspect of their performances, videos, sets, playing their music live, even coming up with their own ideas for photoshoots and never stopping the work until they are satisfied – this is the GazettE. When I was covering them in a magazine for the first time, I felt that a band of an entirely new generation that took over from the royalty of Visual Kei (although there was no such term back in the day) had entered the scene. I remembered their down-to-earth attitude, in which the live show and the fans who attend it are the most important thing. I also remembered that young the GazettE had a simple goal of keeping the band going, rather than becoming a band that was listened to by a certain number of people. Come to think of it, that hasn’t changed a bit. Truly an ironclad band.

[1] Hiroko Yamamoto / Born in Tokyo. Impacted by glam and punk rock as well as blues in her college days, she started a band and spent her life immersed in music. After working for an entertainment editorial production, she became a freelance writer. She covered the GazettE for the free papers and visual-kei specific magazines like Neo Genesis. She was particularly impressed by the band���s stance with its emphasis on live performances and believing in their music and their fans without being influenced by trends or critical opinions. Currently writes columns on music, as well as films and doramas. (From the pamphlet’s credits)

[2] 対バン (taiban) - A live with several bands performing. Usually those are beginner bands that split the venue and equipment rent as well as other costs.

[3] 大日本異端芸者 (Dai Nippon Itan Geisha) can be translated as “Heretic people of art (professional performers) of the Great Japan”. We know Ruki never chooses names for anything without putting a lot of meaning into it, and I’d say there are many layers to this title as well. 

大日本 (Dai Nippon) initially referrs to the Japanese Empire (大日本帝國 Dai Nippon Teikoku, 1868–1947), which embraced the Meiji, Taishō and Shōwa eras in Japanese history, though nowadays it is considered a nationalistic way of referring to Japan. Dai Nippon expressed the overall aesthetics that the GazettE (then - Gazetto) was working with at the time: Japanese flags on the Wakaremichi cover, the silhouettes of children wearing Imperial Japan school uniforms on the COCKAYNE SOUP cover, lyrics (Oni no men) and the use of traditional melodies (Back Drop Junkie [Nancy]), their iconic indie photoshoots with lots of elements clearly inspired by Japanese culture and so on.

異端 (itan) means heresy. This word is also clearly important for the GazettE’s vision and positioning since we see it literally everywhere: in the fanclub name, 20th anniversary live name, merch etc. If we look up the meaning of the word “heresy”, we’ll see the following: “an opinion profoundly at odds with what is generally accepted”. Not only “being profoundly different” is a key principle of Visual Kei, it is also one of the grounds the GazettE exists and continues to work on.

Finally, 芸者 (geisha, “a person of art”) is a pretty well-known word internationally. While most people associate geisha with professional female performers, the Japanese word itself doesn’t have any gender markers, and the first geisha, which appeared around the first half of the 18th century, were actually male. At the same time, it might refer to the androgynous nature of Visual Kei.

[4] “Visual Kei”‎ is partially a gairaigo — a word that came from a foreign language. The question they asked themselves was “if the concept of v-kei had to be translated through the prism of Japanese culture and values, what would a Japanese word describing it sound like?” And the answer is, apparently, “heretic people of art”.

[mclmora]

✧ 5 dl boys - headcanons ✧

~NOTE: pictures used aren’t mine. credit to the respective owners on pinterest! all the headcanons are SFW & written just for fun. that being said, enjoy! xoxo, Mora

ꞝ Yuma M.

he has dyslexia & dyscalculia. he always had troubles with school for that, however ruki has helped him out since the moment he discovered his problem (indeed it was ruki who found out).

he loves his own hair to be long, for the looks of it ofc, but mainly because he is super sensitive on his neck and can’t stand the feeling of cold breeze touching his nape.

his favorite fruit is pomegranate, he’s obsessed with the taste of it and the texture of the little seeds.

ꞝ Azusa M.

loves pastel colors. especially on clothes! he has these huge cardigans & sweaters of all kinds of pastel colors (light blue and lilac mainly).

he likes birds. small, tiny ones the most. he finds them to be adorable and loves their singing.

draws little skulls on his notebook whenever he’s bored at school and likes to collect stationery stuff.

ꞝ Ruki M.

low key loves piercings and tattoos. he has both his ears full of piercings (his favorite is the industrial), silver jewelry with onyx gems in it is his go-to. he also has a labret piercing on his face.

he loves mathematics, physics and chemistry at school. the hardest other people find a subject, the easier it is for him. yes he’s a math god.

is a cleaning freak. if the walls and floors aren’t shining and he can’t see his own reflection on the table then the house isn’t clean enough.

ꞝ Shu S.

a fan of björk. he is an artist and although his blatant love for classical music, he fancies peculiar music too and finds björk’s style to be cool and unique.

loves reading. his favorite genre is detective/mystery stories, he has this huge collection of novels that has re-readed at least 3 times.

one of his favorite animals is the owl. white ones with black, huge eyes. he finds to have a connection with these animals for some reason.

ꞝ Subaru S.

believe or not, he had an avril lavigne phase. he also had a “nightcore” phase of emo songs & to this day listens to “hello kitty”.

leather jackets are his style. he’s a total black guy when it comes to clothing, and loves the look of leather in general. even more if they got studs here and there.

wears crystals. he does know each crystals’ purpose and low key believes their power. the ones he uses the most are apache tear & rose quartz, because it reminds him of his mother.

✧ (u guys can find the other boys in this post!)

~thank u sm for reading!! which one is ur fav boy? i love Yuma so much. also, i love yui too so i’m probably gonna make hdcs about her too soon. stick around if u like. reblogs are super appreciated (//＾◡＾//)

[cryptid-pet]

GOTH//EMO KOU MUKAMI HEADCANONS

Fuck the scene, I’m the Queen

I had this idea in my head for a while and stuff, I just never thought about making it a post

tw >>> mentioned of trauma, nothing heavy

💖 All started when Kou wanted to try different genre of music through his career, wanting to change the pace of things in the music industry

💖 Not really, actually, he was very depressed at the time and this took a toll on his production of music and it’s upbeat//vibrant appearance

💖 Would have minor breakdowns in his room about his childhood and sewers//orphanage

💖 A lot of soft crying at night, couldn’t necessarily help it

💖 It was a gradual//slow change for a period of time thanks to his trauma (not really)

💖 “It’s NOT a phase, Rukiiii…!”

💖 Azusa probably was the only one who sorta took interest in Kou’s change, yet concerned like everyone else

💖 Kou hardly swears in his songs, and that did change A LOT

💖 Jojo Siwa’s change but Kou Mukami (Karma indeed is a bitch 😔 👊)

💖 Kou taught himself how to scream fry and took advantage of that in his songs

💖 Started wearing makeup that he ONLY wears for concerts (Heavy eyeliner, tinted chapstick to give his lips color, layers and layers of mascara)

💖 There was a time where Subaru liked the way Kou became, but liked the way he was beforehand secretly

💖 Kou’s album that released during this phase peaked top 3 in the music industry

💖 Ruki considered taking his brother to counseling for this switch, but never fell through with it

💖 Kou has his nails painted black, magenta, or hot pink with little sparkles and charms

💖 Has gotten his naval pierced and got in trouble

💖 There’s been times where Kou has “broke character” and became himself (Mostly occurs when Ruki makes Vongole)

💖 Was an entire three weeks where Kou refused to show up for school//skip some classes to vape

💖 Bought one of those sparkle pink rhinestone tasers for a music video for his album, and accidentally tased himself

Feel free to add onto this by reblogging, this was something silly

[thegazette5]

I've found out that reita is gone three months later

so yesterday at night, august 15, I found out that reita was dead... and I couldn't' believe it, it was so surreal and I cried reading the words of ruki for him. it pains me to know the gazette members were friends, mostly reita and uruha that used to know way before.

tbh I haven't listened to the gazette since 2016

I met the gazette's music at 18 or something like that and

now I'm 36 and I have clinic depression and when the gazette made their second world tour, the country I live in it's close to argentina, I had a friend who had an argentinian friend that got me a front row ticket for the gazette concert, I got the flight tickets for me and my friend, and then I had a shitty nationality that didn't let me go anywhere (I already changed my nationality) anyway, I didn't get the visa to argentina, I was so sad I wanted to end everything. I went straight to the psychiatrist, it was the first time I really wanted to end everything, every bad thing that had happened to me, not being able to got to the gazette's concert was the last blow, and someone I thought as my best friend back then, she got to go and it made me so sad and angry 'cause she wasn't even a real fan compared to me, she just happened to listen to their songs that year and go (she dedicated ito to me 'cause she missed me, and hell I told her 'bout that song's meaning, that's my proof she wasn't a fan)

so I stopped listening to the gazette, but this year I felt like listening to, and last night I was listening to layla by eric clapton because a kaleido star's fanfic I was reading with the characters layla and yuri, and I wanted a name for the main female character of the book I was trying to write, I thought layla was cool, but there's already too many L in my main male character's name, so I thought of reila (I thought it was reira) and there was "what happened to reita the gazette" on the search while I was looking for reila's lyrics, I thought it was a illness or accident, but no, reita is gone.

I found out that reita is gone while listening to eric clapton playing guitar.

I went to wikipedia and I thought a troll edited the page, a horrible joke, but it was real and it means I'll never go to a the gazette's concert in my life, maybe I still can, but it won't be the same without reita, he is the gazette and he is my fave bassist and I remember when I was young and grew up with the gazette's songs, I got excited just by watching their pvs on the screen, everytime I read their interviews were so inspiring, just a bunch of young adult friends that decided to pursue the same dream together. I wish I had that kind of friends, and let's face it, most jrock groups break after a few years, the gazette were friends with the same dream that lasted over two decades, they were losers that had each other and followed their dreams and made them come true and to me the gazette isn't one of the best rock/metal groups of japan, to me they're one of the best in this whole universe.

and I went to two aerosmith lives where they were in their 60s and I dreamed of the the gazette were going to rock 'til they were old in his 70s.

tbh I'm curious about reita's passing, I want to know why, last year matthew perry died and I love friends, it was shocking, but I did know why, however asian artists are more discreet than western ones and we may never now about what happened to reita. there's so many rumours and the gazette haven't released new songs since 2021? I guess there'll be a new bassist and I won't hate on him, but it won't be the same.

reita was so young, not 45 or 47, he was 42 and I don't want to believe in the horrible rumours. whatever happened to him, it was his life, if there's heaven, another life or another world I hope he's in peace.

and I'm hurt and I'm not ready to listen to the gazette music yet.

[2goldendarkness]

I usually reblog, rather than make my own posts, but seeing everyone in the gaze community deal with their grief by writing things down has given me some courage to do the same. I hope it will help me in my grieving process and i hope to help everyone who does relate to what i write. So this will be my farewell letter.

Dear Reita,

I got the news seven days too late, like how it usually is for me coming into a fandom.

I became a fan about 8 years ago, i was doing a creative education as a designer, listening to random music on Youtube with autoplay. Suddenly i found Red, the first song that got me into the Gazette, i was glued to my screen and intrigued with the looks of all members. But why the hell was that one guy wearing a band around his nose? I needed to get into it. So i did.

The gazette then became my first and favorite Visual kei band, i’ve been trough a lot in my life and whenever hardship struck me, there was always an interview that would make me laugh. When i had boring days in school we even played a game, my friends would ask me “why is he covering his nose?” And i would make up the weirdest stories on the spot. That resulted in some charms with titles like ‘reita and the smelly drummer.’ And ‘reita the drugs dealer.’ It varied from poking fun and making up the stupidest thing, to making you some cool guy who fought bad guys. It would always make us laugh, even though, i was making up these stories to friends who weren’t even necessarily in the fandom, because everyone who saw you once, knew your name and so knew who you were.

I wrote fanfiction, many in where you play a big part of the story, not as a love interest, but as a brother of a character based off of me. All because you once said in a radio show that you feel like you’d be a great older brother, hell did i take you up on that one.

I never got to see The Gazette live, i used to curse you all for skipping my country and forcing me to travel for 5 hours to see you all. In 2018 i was almost at that point, but i couldn’t go because of my exams and because i had no friends who wanted to come with me. I always promised myself: one day, i will see them.

It hurts me to realize that day will never come, at least you won’t be there anymore. I accidentally open instagram, and find a grief post written by Hiroto of Alice nine, in the hashtags your name. Shock, that’s the first thing i felt. I must be going crazy. But next up was Miyavi’s post and as i read that it slowly starts downing upon me, my heart sinks to my stomach and a lump forms in my throat as i rush to jrocknews to confirm they aren’t just playing a sick joke.

I start crying like most of the sixth guns, but only after i start reading the members messages. Why am i crying? We’ve lost a talented bass player who inspired so many people to also start making music. The world lost ‘the world’s Reita’ who was always poking fun at the drummer. The bookstores lost their most unexpected romance buyer. Many lost their source of love and joy. I’ve lost my fictional brother.

But most importantly, your actual family lost a loving family member who bought his mother an entire house to repay her for raising him well. The Gazette lost a member. Kai lost his fear during interviews of whatever you are going to say next. Ruki lost being in your personal space no matter how big the dressing room. Aoi lost the person who’s jokes he could laugh the hardest about. Uruha lost his longtime best friend, and now can no longer feel your heart racing before the show, nor can he feel your hand searching for his heart.

I hope everyones feelings reach you, i hope that whichever way you passed, was peaceful and without pain. I hope that whenever it is our time, you come in your mustang to pick everyone up. Usually as a driving instructor i call shotgun, but i’ll leave that space to your close relatives. That way i can’t judge you for turning around while parking, rather than using your mirrors.

Thank you for everything Reita, you will never be forgotten. Once my grief is gone, i promise to remember you with a smile rather than cry. I also promise to be a fan of The Gazette no matter what they decide to do now you’re gone.

And to whomever read my entire message, thank you for reading this unhinged post.

[griffinsspike]

listened to the album Lingua Franca by T.R.A.M. today

it's a supergroup album with Adrian Terrazas-Gonzalez (from The Mars Volta), Javier Reyes, Tosin Abasi (both from Animals As Leaders), and Eric Moore (from Suicidal Tendencies, not from King Gizzard)

love the first three tracks with their heavier vibes

[mayuichi]

“I convinced Ruki and Yuma, just for you!„

Kou Mukami x Reader ✩ No warning: just fluff (i think it could've been guessed, it's all i'm doing for the whole december month...)

Official art from REJET.

Sweetly laughing on your way to your boyfriend's house as he sent you a picture of a cat with a Christmas hat. Putting your phone back in your pocket, you let your head rest on the bus window, listening to some music during the ride.

Your stop was still pretty far from his home, so you walked to it. Once his place was in sight, you raised your eyebrow in surprise. A bunch of bright window decorations were on.

Taking the doorknob in your hand, you opened the door to find his brothers on the sofa, Christmas hat on their head. You couldn't contain your laugher. The redheaded one groaned in annoyance under his breath, and the oldest seemed bothered by it too. Only the youngest, which has always been quieter than them, looked like he could actually enjoy it.

But nonetheless, it was definitely not their choice.

Suddenly, someone surprised you from behind, placing his hands on your shoulders. You jumped in fear, as you let out a gasp. And there you caught a glance at your boyfriend, some of his blond locks falling over his eyes.

“Hehe, you are such a scaredy cat~.„ he gently squeezed you against him. You rolled your eyes and noticed he also had a Christmas hat.

“Kou ? Why do you have that hat ? Why do you all...„ He stopped you with a soft kiss. “We don't entirely celebrate Christmas anymore, but... I convinced Ruki and Yuma, just for you!„ he was so proud of himself.

You, however, felt a little uneasy. Has he really done all that just for you? “You shouldn't...„ bringing his fingers under your chin to make your eyes lock. With his honeysweet voice, he grinned; “Isn't it our first Christmas together ? We need to make it memorable for you.„

His eyes were filled with love. You've grown used to his teasing gaze, yet there was none in this time. “Come on, now! I may have done the tree with them, I want you to join us to decorate the rest of the house!„

Taking your hand and intertwining your fingers together, he pulled you to the corner, showing dozens of garlands and lights. Pink, yellow, blue, green, red, white, any color you could think of was here. A bright smile on his face, as if he was back as a kid. It was a rare sight, even for you.

You tend to forget he was once human too. He has to get used to his thirst and that eternity coming with becoming a vampire, compared to that family they despised so much. A sad melancoly washed over you, knowing that his cruel and sadist demeanor has just always been a way for him to protect himself. A sigh escaped you as you wondered.

“... Aren't you afraid to date a human? When I'll die, you'll have to live on.„

That thought alone caused an aching pain in your heart. To which he happily bonked your head with a smile. He loved to bonk or give you little slap for sure.

“Why would I care ? Just you staying with me and supporting my brothers makes you my masochist kitten. And beside, that's why I want those memories with you. To remember them for all eternity.„

A faint blush spread across your cheeks, as you lower your head in half shame. With a gentle pat, he moved his hand to pinch your cheek. “Come on, take the red garlands first. We'll put them on the outside of the windows.„

His demeanor quickly changed as he got ready to decorate everything. Once you grabbed one, he picked up the boxes to place it on the doorstep, so it'd be easier to pick the others. From there, you could see his three brothers gathering and decorating the inside.

Placing little scenes and villages here and there, candles and garlands where they saw fit. And you did the same around the outside.

Red and green garlands on the windows, white garlands around the small fountain and on the roofs (which Kou personally placed on the roofs, he'd never let a chance for you to die stupidly). A deer a Christmas sleigh, as well as a snowman, which all could shine.

And when you were done, it was already past 10pm. You stood there, with him, admiring your hard work. Stepping inside, the aroma of some good food made by Ruki. Azusa had already gone in his bedroom, and Yuma went to the garden. But they have made a great work.

Some fake snow (it was just some glittery sheets) under each decoration. Some garlands on the low bookcases, over the sideboards, even on the coffee table.

And just for fun, Kou threw you on the sofa, scooting closer right away to squeeze you tight against him, purring in your ear.

“I promise you the best Christmas. I'd do anything for my kitten, after all.„

/ᐠ - ˕ •マ Ⳋ mayuichi’s property. Do not repost, copy or translate without permission.

[sekai-no-reita]

A letter to Reita... From my heart to yours.

(Under the cut for your sake.)

My dearest れいた,

I know you will not be able to read this letter, but I hope these words still reach you wherever you are; from one soul to another.

I don't even know where to begin... I never thought I would have to write a goodbye letter like this to you. This all feels like a bad dream that I cannot wake up from.

I followed you and your journey with the GazettE for 18 long years.. I grew up with you. It feels like I've lost a dear friend, a family member, if you will. There are no words to describe this grief I'm feeling. Believe me, I have tried...

You guys were with me through everything from my teenage years to this day. If I was happy, you were there. If I was sad, you were there. You were always there. I could always rely on you being by my side when I needed you.

When you came to Finland for the first time in 2007 I queued outside the venue in the cold late October weather all night long, just so I could get a good viewing spot for the gig. It was insane... I was so cold and sleep deprived on the day of the gig, only having slept for like an hour, haha. But when you guys came on stage, none of it mattered. I was so happy. It was a dream come true.

And that's when I fell in love with you, Reita. That was the turning point. I had been listening to your music for a little over a year by then but Ruki was the one who held my heart. But then you.. You captivated me the moment you stepped on that stage. Of course I had always noticed you, your basslines and talent but.. when I saw you play live, it was almost hypnotizing. Especially during RIDE WITH THE ROCKERS. I was so incredibly happy you played it that time. I still remember the way you moved your belly and hips and shoulders when you were standing in the spotlight... Being admired by everyone.

I was fortunate enough to see you guys live two more times; in 2013 and in 2016 during your world tours. Especially in 2016 when I had the VIP wristband and I got to meet you. I still remember how surreal it all felt to me. It was all like a dream. The most wonderful dream. I was supposed to tell you then how much I admired you, how talented you were. But I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Not with you staring at me with your (one visible) eye. All I managed to do was give you the little gift bag with the bracelet in it with a shaky "douzo". You were a little surprised by the gift and thanked me "Ahh, arigatou". Then you took my hand and we thanked each other again. Now I kick myself... I should've told you exactly how I felt. Now I will never get another chance to do it. Now you will never know...

You were so incredibly kind and sweet and caring...

Writing about you in the past tense breaks my heart. The world has lost something too pure, too beautiful.

Your passion towards the GazettE was a thing to admire. How you cared for your fans.. You never took anything for granted. All the tears you shed after your tour finals.. they were real (even when you in an interview joked that they were cgi *laugh*). That was how much you cared. That was your true strength.

There will never be anyone else like you.

The world will never be the same after losing you.

Your bass defined Gazette's music in a way. Everytime I listen to any of your songs, your bass stands out. It is incredible. I don't think any other band does that; puts the bass in such a spotlight. That's how important you are, ..were.

You are the reason I even own a bass. I wanted to be able to play like you. Sadly I cannot... I was too short-tempered and lost my nerve when I couldn't get my fingers to co-operate *laugh* But my bass is still there, waiting. Reminding me of you. Maybe one day I'll be able to pick it up again and think of you with a smile on my face.

I really do hope you know how loved you were -and still are-; by everyone. The band, the fans... How much you were respected by your peers and other musicians. You defined an era in v-kei. That's how important you were. Are.

There are so many more things I would like to say to you. But maybe another time. Maybe I'll write you another letter. Maybe someday I'll meet you again in the afterlife and I'll be able to tell you face to face everything I haven't been able to so far.

I hope you are now at peace and can rest.

I love and miss you so much.

Thank you for everything you have given me. It is a debt I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.

Rest in peace, my beautiful angel.

With all my love,

Marisa

[diacripticcomplex]

The DL boys and what their addictions/drug problems would be besides the obvious blood:

Shu: Weed. I say this in all my fics, he would be such a big stoner. I'm pretty sure if rejet wasn't Japanese they would have gladly made him a stoner. He sleeps and listens to music that is an indica strain man. Shu suffers from PTSD, depression and detachment issues. Weed keeps him calm and eases his nerves. Not a drinker.

Reiji: Reiji likes tea and honestly coffee as well, he's gotta have that energy from somewhere right? Caffeine addict. Typical virgo behavior. A drinker as well, and can hold his liquor. Not a smoker.

Ayato: Perc 10 I just copped a Perc 10, Perc 30. Ayato is a perc head, sometimes cocaine as well. But he claims he isnt addicted, yea okay. Likes drinking and smoking but prefers pills.

Kanato: He's got a sugar addiction for the most part, but he will indulge in some sweet tasting cocktails too, he knows no limit. If it tastes good, he gets DRUNK. Not a smoker.

Laito: ecstasy and molly, that's why he's so sexual and has all that energy, plus says the most out of pocket shit. Enjoys taking shots from time to time, and will smoke a Cuban cigar.

Subaru: He drinks sometimes, and smokes with Shu occasionally but he prefers to remain sober for the most part, lowkey a gymrat and addicted to protein powder. Will literally snort a line of protein powder.

Ruki: Manz is stressed out, he smokes cigarettes. New Ports, Camels. Marbelos, you name it he's smoked it. Is a drinker.

Kou: Also into a lot of party drugs, but loves a good flavored vape. (He gives such Doja Cat energy). Smokes and drinks.

Yuma: He gardens his own weed, smokes it sometimes but he's more addicted to food and sugar as well. Not a drinker.

Azusa: he literally likes to hurt himself, I think Heroin would be the most suitable or morphine. Has baby lungs so cant smoke but enjoys doing it cause it hurts him. Will drink for the burning throat sensation.

Carla: Xanax, he likes the shlumped out dead feeling, plus he doesnt feel the pain as much. Hates smoking it hurts his lungs, likes drinking a little.

Shin: Horse tranquilizer, ketamine. self explanatory. Likes to smoke sometimes but only nicotine.

Kino: Addarell, he's gotta stay focused to plot on everyone. Smokes and drinks , plus can handle himself.

[rain-fluff]

Journal Eleven: How do you mourn?

The topic of death seems to creep up on me a lot lately. I remember hearing the announcement so vividly; it was officially shared by the beloved band members and staff of the GazettE that their beloved bassist Reita had passed away at the age of 42. I couldn't really believe it first. I was just listening to their music a few days prior on my commute to uni. Rather, I've been listening to their music on and off during my commutes because despite the loudness, it keeps away my anxiousness from others stares when I walk into the MRT. It felt so recent when I wanted to revisit the music that I used to fangirl over in my preteens. What do you mean he's just gone?

I lied down on my bed in complete silence for a few minutes just trying to digest the news. I had a crush on this man, he had a charming yet mysterious air to him that captivated my little 12-year-old heart. I remember digging for translated interviews of their radio shows, wishing I could have cool adult conversations with them and having fun. Sure he was a half my age when I discovered their music but what preteen wasn't impressionable by adult influences like that, you know? I was so fascinated by their outfits, their creative expression through music, how they looked so free and was living life how they wanted to. I grew up and they were nothing more than a distant nostalgic memory at first but they resurfaced again when I was looking for music to listen to on Spotify. Weirdly enough, they we're really nice to listen to at six in the morning, too tired to start the day but too paranoid being confined in a small space as you make your way for your 8 a.m classes. Reminiscing on how much I crushed on him was just a silly afterthought but they we're still a strong influential presence to me today.

I was amazed to see that there was in fact a really active community amongst the fans; moreso the international fans to be honest. I didn't think that there were people who would take flights to Japan just to see what I felt was a fairly niche band from a rather niche music genre to this day. I remember crying reading heartfelt stories of how the fans listened to their music during hard times. I think it really broke me when only days later, official statements we're released by the band members expressing their thoughts and emotions. I can only imagine how hurt they must've felt losing such a close friend like that. The GazettE has always been five. This was a para social relationship that I never really expected to affect me so strongly.

I think many will agree that it will never be the same; Ruki's commentary on how he perceived the situation has settled in my mind for a while now. It made more sense as to why I felt so hurt by some deaths before, making me feel more grounded of how I should handle and carry my pains moving forward. I still chase after his bass playing while listening to their music; one of the few things that we as active listeners can still cherish and keep today. I'll always remember you Reita-san. And so will everyone else.