#ruhi 🌻

[onstoryladders]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers. Spread the self-love~🫶🏽(i know you have quite a few so it might be hard picking but i'm excited to see which you enjoyed writing most!🌻)

RUHI DEARESTTTTT THANKS FOR THIS ASK!!!!

OK SO. very hard to choose five fics. I enjoyed writing all of them for different reasons, but some of them make me prouder than others ngl 💓🤧

in no particular order (because id go crazy):

SECOND CHANCES (Taekyung/Daon/Shinwoo, Light On Me)

This is one of the stories I'm most proud of! It's the first story I wrote with a poly relationship, it explores Daon's feelings after the ending of the show and how he starts falling in love with Shinwoo too and struggles to make sense of it.

I love Daon a lot and it was very cathartic to delve into his journey, I put a lot of myself in this since I headcanon Daon to be demiromantic and I'm aro soooo yeah I had a blast and it always makes emotional when someone reads it <3

IN BLOOM (Pat/Pran, Bad Buddy)

My first attempt at writing Hanahaki, I usually don't like the trope so I had to modify it a little. In my version the disease is linked to the secrecy of your feelings, so you only die (or have to get treatment) if you don't confess, it doesn't matter if the feelings are unrequited or not.

This was fun and I cried writing it because once again I projected a little too hard onto Pran and his relationship with his mom, what can you dooo

MIKE WHEELER AND THE 5 STAGES OF DEALING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND'S SECRET ADMIRER (Mike/Will and Mike & Max, Stranger Things)

IT TOOK ME A YEAR TO FINISH THIS ONE. The funny thing is that WEEKS after posting the last chapter I realized i had posted it exactly one year after the first, same day same month.

Anyway!! Once again this is projection galore, Mike is arospec in my heart and El is aroace, lots of queerness and exploration and friendship and conversations about feelings. Another cathartic journey for yours truly

Also I had SO MUCH FUN because with so many characters you can explore all kinds of dynamics and create some pretty funny dialogues <3

PAIN & PLEASURE (Vegas/Pete, Kinnporsche)

This is technically a series but I can't choose between Thorns & Roses and A Splash Of The Sun, they're pretty similar anyway. This is the Tattoo Parlor VegasPete AU, the vision came to me in a state of great horniness dream and now here we are........

I don't read much smut but I do like writing it when the right idea hits me. The thing I liked the most, besides the smut itself, is that I had to keep the characters IC even though their background is completely different from the source material, but people told me I did alright so I'm pretty proud of that!!

BEHIND THE MASK (Tin/Can, Love By Chance)

Oh I had so much fun writing this because Can is SO FUNNY TO WRITE!!!!!! He has no filter and Tin keeps popping up in his surroundings like he's trying very hard to make his life impossible, it was so delightful to write their exchanges

I love Tin and Can, they're one of my first Thai BL OTPs and will always have a special place in my heart!! 💓💓💓

Honorable mention to my GramBlack fics because I LOVED WRITING THEM!!!!!!! I wouldve written more but then. Oh well. The horrors

Thanks again for the ask 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

[milkpansa]

nini!!! your trademark™ is one hundred percent the fact that you always always use darling or love or beloved in your tags and say the sweetest, most sincere things to everybody

and smth abt your gifsets and frame edits!!! i don't know what it is but they're so lovely and i can always tell when you've made them <3 🌻💛💫🌼🥰💖🐥🤗❣️🌟🫶🏽🌙

MY RUHI MY SUNFLOWER PLS I LOVE YOU :((((((

your trademark is being literal sunshine and having such a good way with words and ofc tagging me in animal pics (i haven’t done that in a while sorry will def pick it up again !! ahshdhdh) and just being so so full of love :(

what’s my trademark 👀

[kexing]

mj hiii!!!! i know we haven't really interacted but i hope you won't mind me scrambling onto the mj love and support train 🥰

super glad you said that you respect everybody's opinions so i can choose to skip being the bigger person and tell that anon off bc that truly wasn't a nice thing to say 🔫🔫🔫 esp abt someone who's always so warm and friendly to everyone

anw i hope you're having a lovely day (as you deserve) and i hope you see another pretty sunset today!

—🌻🌟

hi ruhi!!! hope this doesn’t sound weird but in my head we’re the best of friends so like. it’s really nice to have you here!!! 🥰🥰🥰

alkdkakdkskdkskd thank you so much for joining the love train! 🤣🤣🤣 and for the lovely words!! means a lot! and yeah, they were a bit rude but i thought it was pointless to argue with someone who already has such a formed opinion on me. it changes nothing anyways 🥰

thank you so much for stopping by!!!! hope you have a lovely day as well!!!

aaaaah bless you for saying that!! i saw a lovely sunset yesterday, here some fluffy clouds. love the way the sun was tinting them pink and red 🥰🥰🥰

ily ❤️💙

[snimeat]

I was tagged by @xagan and @billlkin to show my top 5 songs right now! Thank you guys for thinking of me (now let me wreck my brains with this hard af choice 🤣)

1. Toddler by Kim Taeyeon

Her newest album is so good! This song and Siren just have a special place for me💜

2. Tu Refugio by Pablo Alborán

This is a PatPran song! Yeah, that’s all folks 🤣🤣🤣. Also, Pablo tugs at your heart anyways. His voice’s just 🤌🤌🤌

3. камин by Jony and Emin

I came across this song thanks to my discover playlist on Spotify and since then I’ve been obsessed. Do I know what it says? No clue, but it’s beautiful!

4. Vienna by Billy Joel

This is my comfort song, the one I go to when my anxiety just hits and I need some calmness and just a reminder to take things easy, to slow down, to say to myself it’s okay just breathing. Yeah, this song makes me feel stuff, sorry for the tmi.

Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while

It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two

It just hits, you know?

5. Under my Skin by Taemin

My phenomenal lil cheese💜. This song’s just yeah… ✨feelings✨, so many of them. That’s about it, honestly. Go listen to Taemin people, you won’t regret it 😌

Tagging some mutuals I haven’t spoken to yet but hoping to someday (you all can ignore this, no pressure✨): @liyazaki , @taeminie , @tipnaree , @jeunnie , @doctorfunkensteins , @ohmnomnom , @surajmukhis , @isvisomewhere , @mark-zone , @becomeundone

[surajmukhis]

Hi ruhi!!!!!! Two kittens sleeping in weird places to make your day a lil better 💖💕💖💕💖💕💖

elle darling light of my dashboard i appreciate this so much thank u!!!😭😭😭 it's been too many of Those Days in a row but this genuinely made me lie down and cry (positive)

ily thank u for the kittens and the sweet message i hope your cats meow lovingly at you all day!!!🌻💛

[milkpansa-archive]

belovedest nini, hiii!!! barged in here bc i saw your tags and i wanted to say that the quiz is broken so please don't listen to it and that even though this is technically from a stranger on the internet, i genuinely believe people who know you in real life are greatly and immensely privileged❣️

if i were to start a headcount of the number of people here who adore seeing you in their notifs or on their dash, i would hit post limit, love.

anw i'm sorry if this is wildly out of line or anything, you don't have to reply to this [privately or publicly]!! i just wanted you to know that you are a treasure and to hopefully inspire a smile!

and also to deliver this:

–🌻

ruhi my beloved my angel,

how could i not reply when this is the sweetest thing ever? this made my heart smile don’t worry about being out of line agakdjs i don’t mind at all!

and no worries!! i didn’t take it seriously at all ahakskdjaj. dating me def would be a bit exhausting trust me but you’re so so lovely for sending this!!!! i adore you so much pls know that!!

‘i genuinely believe people who know you in real life are greatly and immensely privileged’ > stop it i’ll cry. you’re too kind to me honestly, don’t know if i deserve such words but i’m honored you think of me this way!! i would definitely say the same about you. you’re such a kind and loving soul i’m sure your existence brightens the lives of everyone around you.

‘if i were to start a headcount of the number of people here who adore seeing you in their notifs or on their dash, i would hit post limit, love’ > you’re so sweet idk what to do honestly thanks so much!!! i love you 💞💖💓💗💕💘

also!!! pls don’t call yourself a stranger on the internet!!!! hurts my heart. you’re a friend (unfortunately a very faraway friend </3) and i am so glad to have met you on here!! you call me a treasure but you’re def one too love! *sends you all my love*

ALSO THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE FAIRY KITTEN! have a kiss

hope you have a lovely lovely week my love 🥰❣️

[bearinglight]

aurora hello!!! im just here to thank you for all the validation you left me on the toddblack ficlet bc it made me really really happy!! 🥺😭 i was working on it for so long continuously that i kinda ended up hating the sight of it so the fact that you took the time to point out all the bits that you enjoyed had me feeling reassured and much better abt it finally 💛🌟✨ thank you for that, i hope you're having a lovely day!! 🌻

ruhi hi!! sorry if i didn’t answer you sooner but yesterday i wasn’t really online so i missed your message 🙈

anyway! i’m really glad you liked me going a bit insane on your tags, but really i loved the ficlet so much that no joke i already re-read it a few times already 🥰 as i said you captured both characters beautifully so yeah it was a pleasure telling you as much! know that i’ll be here ready to read new things from you, i really like your style of writing 🤩

hope you’re having nice days too!! 🌻💖

[nesepalamudu]

Bana şiir önerir misin? Bir sürü olsun ama.

mendilimde kan sesleri/ edip cansever

mazot/ ismet özel

çağrılmayan yakup/ edip cansever

sen türkü yak ben mermi/ ibrahim tenekeci

bedava/ orhan veli

yaşamaya dair/ nâzım hikmet

yaşamak umrumdadır/ ismet özel

düş ve dua/ ibrahim tenekeci

sevgilim hayat/ ismet özel

mırıldanmalar/ ibrahim tenekeci

karanlık duvarlar/ erdem bayazıt

yaşasın ne kadar da ideolojik yaklaşıyoruz birbirimize/ ah muhsin ünlü

çağır beni/ sohrab sepehri

ömür hanımla güz konuşmaları/ şükrü erbaş

hapiste yatacak olana öğütler/ nâzım hikmet

mektup/ birhan keskin

umutsuzlar parkı/ edip cansever

eski, yeni, ödünç alınmış ve mavi/ haydar ergülen

köşe/ sezai karakoç

palyaço/ (turgut uyar diye geçiyor çoğu yerde ama değil, kimin olduğu bilinmiyor)

belki sana inanırlar/ dilek kartal

sen balık değilsin ki/ oktay rifat

ağrı/ birhan keskin

güneş topla benim için/ ülkü tamer

gülşiir/ ahmet erhan

ah! ben bundan sonra bir karı sevmek başkasını sevmek/ ah muhsin ünlü

sana, bana, vatanıma, ülkemin insanlarına dair/ erdem bayazıt

sebeb-i telif/ ismet özel

yaş değiştirme törenine yetişen öyle bir şiir/ edip cansever

acıyor/ turgut uyar

ben ruhi bey nasılım/ edip cansever

konuşma/ ülkü tamer

suyun ayak sesi/ sohrab sepehri

ne gelir elimizden insan olmaktan başka/ edip cansever

beni yanlışsız sakla/ mevlana idris

resulullahla benim aramdaki farklar/ ah muhsin ünlü

bugün pazar/ nâzım hikmet

çiçekleri sulasan/ edip cansever

geyikli gece/ turgut uyar

aynı adam/ ismet özel

sen git/ lou andreas-salomé

delilirikler/ birhan keskin

bana bir mektup yaz/ dilek kartal

kuş koysunlar yoluna/ nilgün marmara

lili/ sezai karakoç

mıknatıssız pusula/ ah muhsin ünlü

iris'in ölümü/ didem madak

pia/ attilâ ilhan

bir çiçek sergicisi der ki/ edip cansever

lâl, gül, döl/ ah muhsin ünlü

bulmak/ erdem bayazıt

ağıt/ oktay rifat

aşk risalesi/ erdem bayazıt

roman okudum seni düşündüm/ cemal süreya

kalbim dinamit kuyusu/ ahmed arif

deli kızın türküsü/ gülten akın

ruth/ birhan keskin

kırlardan geliyorlar/ turgut uyar

yağmur ve fransızca/ haydar ergülen

şimdiden bir hatırasın/ didem madak

anlar/ borges

gülce/ ömer lütfi mete

böyle bir sevmek/ attilâ ilhan

çocuksun sen/ ahmet telli

yağdıkça/ yılmaz erdoğan

alengirli şiir/ ali lidar

gözleriyle cellat/ attilâ ilhan

şehir/ kavafis

beni güzel hatırla/ orhan veli

kimi sevsem sensin/ attilâ ilhan

kestim kara saçlarımı/ gülten akın

gülüşün eklenir kimliğime/ ahmet telli

ah o gemide ben de olsaydım/ ah muhsin ünlü

ben içeri düştüğümden beri/ nâzım hikmet

hasretinden prangalar eskittim/ ahmed arif

mavi gözlü dev, minnacık kadın ve hanımelleri/ nâzım hikmet

bizim gibi/ orhan veli

siz aşktan ne anlarsınız bayım/ didem madak

-ve yabancı olarak, rainer maria rilke ve walt whitman okumanı tavsiye ederim

şehir dışında olduğum için şiir defterim yanımda değil malesef, o olsa daha da uzayacaktı.

bi de soundcloud hesabıma bakarsan, dinleyebileceğin pek çok şiiri repost yaptım bu güne dek.

bu kadar geçe kaldığı için üzgünüm, ama sözümü tuttum, hepsi birbirinden güzel ve özel. güzel. ve. özel. umarım beklediğine değmiştir, güzel geceler 🌻

[onstoryladders]

elle hiii!!! this is massively belated forgive me please but i wanted to wish you a happy new year!!! i hope you're warm and toasty even in peak winter like this sweetu here:

may this year bring you lots and lots of peace and joy and contentment with your lovely writing and beautiful moments with your friends and family!!! ☀️💫💛🥰🌟❣️🫶🏽🐥

–ruhi🌻

ruhi dearest 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 omg thats so cute thats exactly who i aspire to be in my life 🙏🏻 2024 goals fr youre soooooo sweet happy new year to you too!! may this year bring you the same things you wished for me AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! all the good things for u mwah mwah 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[onstoryladders]

hi hello! feel free to either ignore this or let it lie in your inbox if you'd like but i saw your tags abt how you feel abt your writing and i just wanted to come and say i really get that.

when you surround yourself with great writing in whatever form, or with lovely writer friends or even just have standards (which is inevitable obv), it's impossible not to feel small and like you can't compare to any of it. or that your writing and your stories mean nothing.

that is not true.

it feels heartbreaking but i want you to know it isn't true!

i still struggle with exactly what you described so maybe it's a little hypocritical to be here saying this to you but smth that helps me is to remember that even if my stories are simple and only fun in the moment, and that nobody will remember them when they're asked for favourites, i still created something that held emotions and value in someone else's life. more importantly, i created something. and a lot of the times – not all, naturally – i created something i enjoyed creating and consuming.

i know being forgotten is an awful, awful fear as a writer and i really don't mean to preach but i just hope i can help when i say your stories will always have a place in someone's life. and you're a lovely writer, never let yourself forget!

sorry if this did absolutely nothing to help but either way, i hope the rough patch doesn't last too long! 🌻

Ruhi dear 🥺 thank you so much for sending this ask, I can't describe how much I appreciate it 💞

I know you're right, I know. Writing something can never be meaningless, it doesn't matter what other people think about it, whether they love what you do or not. You invest time and energy and emotions in your works and that counts.

Writing is hard, so finishing something is already a great accomplishment in itself, whatever comes after shouldn't affect me that much. Sadly it does, even if I try not to think about it. I'm too ambitious for my own good, so nothing seems to ever be enough to me. Maybe one day it will. I swear that I'm trying.

It's just that writing is such a big part of me and my life, so when I think that I might not be as good at it as I wish I was, it just-- I don't feel good about anything else, y'know? So yeah.

But these feelings come and go, so...

Thanks again 💞 cute kitten for you!

[surajmukhis]

ruhi darling!!!

feel free to ignore this but i saw your post about your bad day and just wanted to say hope you feel better soon lovely!!! (((HUGS TIGHTLY))) *gives you all my love* 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❣️

@lovelypattranite

nini i am: sobbing thank you for this ilysm 😭😭😭😭

seeing you in my notifs alone makes my day so i appreciate this!!!! very much!!!! im hugging you back and express mailing you a lovely day too bc anything else would be unacceptable 💛🌻

[snimeat]

quick catch up tag game :)

thanks Ruhi 🌻 @surajmukhis for the tag 💜

last song: sorry by nothing but thieves (back on my obsession with this song ksjsjs)

currently watching: tomorrow, soundtrack n. 1, happiness, kinnporsche, big bang theory, twenty five twenty one, the gifted (i need self restraint i see)

last tv show: a business proposal

currently reading: books for my thesis (currently also dying for said reasons)

tagging some beauties 💜(no pressure though✨): @c1nto , @dimplesnanon , @i-got-the-feels , @xagan , @patshoney , @machikeita , @bearinglight