#rue and i are very different in terms of how we show affection | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lordkingsmith · 11 months ago

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Jason: Orla is definitely Bulk’s girl and McKenzie is definitely Jason’s, yes lol. Jason and Bulk fit together really cutely~ they’re cuties and they have cute girls. I like the idea Orla’s influenced by her mom (who is a character I just need to hunt down her name but she’s going to show up again for Aisha. She was a gymnast in stone canyon who hated Kim because she felt replaced by Aisha. Good episode, I really liked it’s lesson. Also inadvertently giving Aisha a TYPE lol. Anyway.) as much as she is by a lot of nature related friends of Bulk’s and Jason’s.

Tonmy: Tommy and Bulk are adorable ok, and they got along really well! Even when they were antagonizing each other!! Trinity’s pun name was Bulk’s idea and she’s nine so maybe she’ll change her mind but she wants to name her eventual kid Quartet. Beckett is the saving grace with Bulk here, and they work hard to keep the zero braincell family members from doing very dangerous stunts.

(Well NOW that’s how the hug went! Because nothing says “oh I think this guy is in love with me” like being bodily lifted off the ground in a hug. That is the absolute cutest idea omg)

Skull: I personally love the idea that’s what she does with her life~ she’s a sweetie and given Skull’s family line I kind of just feel like most/all of them are mechanically inclined in some way

Trini; the body insecurity does come from Bulk’s side, and I’m very interested in pr ‘17 Trini’s identity and image struggle as well as some stuff in the comics and show that seem to happen whenever Trini is crushing on someone. Also; Vietnam is infamous for its fatphobia (on par with France) and I don’t think any extended family means to be rude, on either side, but I do think Bulk and Rue would get a bit more comments. Bulk’s used to it, but its different if you’re afab. She’ll be fine, she’ll learn how to take it as gracefully as Bulk.

Aisha: lol, I like yellow and purple as a color combo, it’s this really pretty and majestic looking combo. I’ve got a knitted blanket with the color combo, actually. I am biased a little XD Green Boyfriend is excellent to him~ he’ll be able to get that break soon and they’ll all be better for it.

Sharkie: there was no doubt in my mind that they would produce a kid who would someone like Goldar and then latch on like a leech. Lauren’s in good hands when they get together, Leech is taking no shit.

Yea they would be some of the healthier relationships and co parenting groups tbh. Good for each other to have that net.

Zack: if Zack had overheard he would have backed him for homecoming ;-; all the way

The justice was capitalized for a reason, and she’s definitely the Special when she grows up~ her dads are so proud~ she would befriend all the devils if given half a chance. We love it for her XD

Her brother is so soft and sweet, yes~

Hailey: we can only hope. I like the idea he eventually becomes one of the comedy duo for his universe and the team are able to shower him and his friend with all the affection they need.

Marleau: if he could have gotten away with it he’d have just grabbed them and left. But yea she throws money at him and them for their needs. If they ask him for advice he’d help set up the girlfriend and Peregrine quitting his job lol

Rito: I like thinking she looks like her alternate reality older half brother in terms of blond (white blond for Faline and Katri). But instead of spiky anime, she’s fluffy anime. Bulk has aaaaalllll the game lol. Accidentally impressing a space warlord’s son without trying seems pretty natural for him. Netting said son would surprise him but not that many people around him.

Rita adores a cute little niece running around~

Farkas Bulkmeier, oc kids and canon kids. Bulk’s fun because canonically as far as we know, he’s single. BUT. He has a lot of options~ like, so many. Male and female. I am not against this man being charismatic af but wow lol. He and Eugene both have so many options simply by virtue of being on the show for so long. If I miss any lemme know!

Canon;

None that we know of, though he was absolutely co parenting Spike Skullovitch. Spike might call him uncle Bulk but I think we all know he’s basically Spike’s other dad.

My Alternate OC Kids;

Kimberly Hart;

Chloe Bulkmeier-Hart, aged 19, pink ranger. Au that will be animated, Kim and Farkas waited to have kids and actually Chloe was a bit of a surprise baby. Best friends with Tommy and Kat’s oldest grandson. Was a good ranger, became brainwashed and is a villainous ranger. Her love interest is a vampire named Iva Song. She is pastel goth with a deep love of frills and spikes, deep pinks and velvety blacks and poofy skirts and dresses and combat boots. She's got an inordinate amount of knowledge on ancient battle tactics, and how to hotwire a motorcycle. Both things she learned from her parents. She has a lovely singing voice. She is five foot four, and is a bottle rocket of doom. While she's had a crush on Iva since they were tiny, she never knew he seriously reciprocated until much much later. She's able to shake the mind control when she's-gasp-forced to go undercover as a punk. Trading her dresses for miniskirts? Respectfully, no.

Tangential Coinless au, bur she’s a newborn and Billy and Drakkon’s clones Bit and Tom become her babysitters. Her godmother is Sharkie and her godfather is Eugene Skullovitch.

Katherine Hillard;

Lois “Heavy” Bulkmeier. Aged 21. Kat got with him after being saved by Tommy and Kim, bur the relationship with Kim or Tommy never went anywhere. Tommy and Kim got back together, Kat was happy being single for the most part. Lois though was an accident baby; however Kat and Bulk make it work and do like the relationship and their kid. Heavy for his part is a lot like Bulk. Rabblerousing loudmouth with a heart of gold. Heavy got his GED and currently is working on going through community college so he can buy Ernie’s old place and take it over. It was a refuge for him as a kid and he wants to keep it going for all the kids who need a refuge, from whatever’s going on. Not associated with a color. He does, however, know who the rangers are, and helps where he can. Kat’s an Olympic diver, and Bulk is the owner of a very popular chain restaurant. Bulk’s Eats.

Jason Lee Scott;

When Jason came home to take care of his dad after his mom died, Bulk was there almost before Jason's friends were. He had Eugene in tow and they more or less gently bullied their way into getting him to accept help. When his dad finally died, miserable as ever, Bulk pulled Jason over to his place and they played video games and ate until they passed out in Bulk's bed. They have a mild competitive nature to their romance, and the little love affair surprised absolute nobody who took two seconds to think about it. They adopted two girls. Jason's a PE teacher at the highschool, while Bulk is the history teacher. Orla and McKenzie, aged fifteen and sixteen respectively, were adopted a couple years apart when they were in gradeschool.

Orla was originally from Stone Canyon, and Aisha knew her mom. They went to highschool together before she moved to Angel Grove, but they kept in touch. She couldn't keep her daughter, so Aisha helped her screen prospective parents. Jason and Bulk fit, and the paperwork was taken care of. Orla still talks to her mom on weekends when she can, but she loves her dads. Orla is into cross country running and shock put. She loves adventuring and hiking, and is constantly pulling her family out for hiking trips on weekends, as well as camping. Not the most popular girl in school, but she's okay with that. Currently getting into the idea of going into some form of nature study science as a profession. Not associated with a color.

McKenzie is one of the popular girls, though she's also into sports. Hers is soccer. She's also not afraid of standing up for her friends and sister, and her drop kick can shatter tables. Bulk and Jason made her promise not to get in fights in school, as it not only looks bad on her, it could cost them their jobs. So she's careful who she fights. Monsters who the power rangers can't handle are useful, here. At least one of them offered to hire her. Jason and Bulk were. Not Amused. She's considering acting as a career, just so she can do her own stunts. Everyone likes her because she doesn't let people walk over her, but she's managed to be nice about it. Likes history as much as Bulk does.

Tommy Oliver;

Bulk had been mildly afraid of Tommy since day of the dumpster but after the first couple weeks, he mellowed out. A LOT. Unfortunately Tommy's walking eye candy and that entailed a lot of attention by a lot of pretty people. Bulk found it easier to simply antagonize him rather than directly compete with everyone else. They've had a fun flirtatious back and forth for years. Things got a lot more of a lot more when Bulk came back from Mirinoi, and Tommy of all people got him in a hug so tight he thought he was going to actually get a broken back. They reconnected and opened a small hotel together. It's nothing spectacular but it's consistently filled with people, some of whom even choose their hotel again for future vacations. A couple years after the 'this is going to flop' fear subsided, business partners became married partners. Tommy and Bulk chose to go the adoption and surrogate route. Adoption because Tommy wanted to give a good life to someone who needed it, much like he'd been given, and surrogate because a friend asked during New Years when they were gently shooing them out of the hotel a little after midnight so they could sleep and their kid could sleep. The question had stuck around, which lead to an awkward conversation, which lead to asking around if anyone was willing. The surrogacy via Trini lead to twins, much to everyone's surprise. David thought this was hilarious. Tommy apologized profusely to Trini, who had to remind him he didn't control that. And she was willing to help them prepare for twins if they were.

They have three kids. Beckett, adopted at nine and currently 21 and working at the hotel to save up for college, and the twins. Trinity and Leon, born when Beckett was twelve. Rambunctious, and taking after Tommy a lot. There is no brain cell between them. The hotel is their personal playground when they have to spend time at home, much to the chagrin of Tommy and Bulk, though they have managed to make this work in their favor, and many of the twins' games also double as their chores.

Beckett's the straight man type. He's very up front, responsible, and charming when he wants to be. He can switch from business to leisure at the drop of a dime, is good with money, and knows Angel Grove like the back of his hand. He is practically a walking tour, and has debated whether or not it'd be worth setting up a tour guide side business to help the hotel, and his wallet. Bulk respects the hustle. Tommy just wants him to be careful. Beckett's going into business management. He doesn't necessarily want to take over; it'd be fun to open up a rival place for a while just to see how he does. He's also prepared for any and every eventuality. Living with this family, he's got to be. Not that he minds, he used to wander Boston streets all day and go to the boy's home at night. Tommy ran into him on the street wandering back, and it was basically an immediate whirlwind of Beckett becoming Beckett Oliver and going to live with Bulk and Tommy.

Trinity is the older of the twins by four hours. She's also the go getter and more of the risk taker. She is dragging Leon along after for better or for worse, because no he's not going to let his sister do something dumb alone. That's lonely! They've had run ins with a lot of supernatural things, but that's par for the course so half of them Tommy and Bulk don't know about. Trinity is more likely to fight something twice her size. Also more likely to jump from the second story railing to see if she can fly (she nearly gave Bulk a heart attack and he caught her before she could begin her downward trend. Luckily he knew her by that point). Not currently a color but she's Tommy's. She's going to be a green ranger when she's older. Tommy and Bulk have the twins in judo classes.

Leon's the more careful of the two but that's not saying much. Still the one that decided to experiment with dishsoap in the laundromat. He was grounded for a month. He's also more of the curious one, in the book sense. If he doesn't know, he asks. It's less of a headache. More of a direct talker than his sister, very polite. Is not adverse to using his sister or brother as a distraction. Enjoys parkour, even at nine. He likes detective stories. Enjoys birdwatching. This isn't a calming activity for him; he walked onto a cliff to see if a bird was an eagle. It was. He nearly got very very hurt. Tommy, fortunately, knows him. general rule with the twins is if Beckett Tommy or Bulk is with them it's for everyone else's protection; not their own. Leon is not associated with a color, but he's Tommy's. He'll be a white ranger when he's older.

Although many adversaries did have their eyes on these kids for a time-absolutely not, it's too much trouble. Tommy and Bulk are at least a little self aware and their kids are fully prepared to turn the hotel into a massive booby trap. There's a protocol and everything.

in a tangential au, Beckett is a ranger and passes the Power to either Leon or Trinity as his chosen replacement, so depending he's either white or green.

Eugene Skullovitch;

Absolutely nobody was surprised when they got together. Eugene became a teen dad and Bulk didn't even think twice. He could fit boyfriend in one arm and baby in the other and he often did in the early days when sleeping with the two. For comfort and sense of protection. Skull was his best friend, and everything he'd ever want in a partner. They didn't bother with a ceremonial wedding, it was just going to get the paperwork signed and then having a big party celebrating with their friends. They have Spike, of course, and adopted one more. Between Spike and Amy, they're good. Sharkie offered to be a surrogate, and Billy offered a way to mix their genetics, but after a long talk with each other and them, it was just Spike and Amy.

Amy and Spike are the same age, with a four month difference. Spike's more emotionally mature than his sister, but Amy's more cunning and less naive than Spike. Currently both eighteen. She's jaded in a lot of ways and makes sure her brother doesn't have to be. Spike has had to ask her not to threaten any partners he might get with, because he can handle himself. She's had to occassionaly ask this goes both ways. Amy is considering being a mechanic, or a roadie for Skull or Spike. She likes feeling useful, she likes puzzles and chess and general challenges. Cannot cook to save her life, but she's a whiz at baking. She's better at math than anyone else in her family. But english is the bane of her existence. Is not associated with a color.

Trini Kwan;

in one au she's a surrogate mom for Bulk and Tommy, but in another, Bulk and Trini got together after Minh's dad left the picture. Bulk had experience with helping a single parent, and Trini was extremely grateful. Minh loved him, and loved when Spike came over. Bulk and Trini had one more kid together when Minh was around six. Rue Kwan. currently aged 17. Minh is going into law, and Rue is considering being a private detective. Or a rocket scientist. Both would be equally fun challenges. Rue's a quick thinker, and rather politely sassy. She's got a dry sense of humor but her comebacks are scathing and legendary. Rue's on the heavier side, and this leads to some self image issues sometimes, especially around valentine's or dances, though Bulk and Trini and Minh are quick to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible whenever it crops up. Rue knows her own mind, and her own opinions. She's been sent to the principle's office for getting into arguments with her teachers more than once. not associated with a color.

Aisha Campbell;

Nobody saw this coming. However, he invited her to a dance, and she didn’t say no. Then they just saw each other as friends for a few years. New Year’s party and nine months later….well. Actually they work well together, who knew? Bulk can make Aisha laugh, and she helps him set more realistic goals. And they kick ass together. Recently divorced but not on bad terms. Hobart “Hobie” Bulkmeier, though…is struggling. New purple ranger, parents recently divorced, trying to keep grades up and a steady job on top of it? This is. A Lot. He’s a ballet instructor for a babies first ballet type class. Does not put up with bullshit for anything. Not afraid to call people out. He’s dating the green ranger and that’s fine, his parents like his boyfriend. It’s just everything on top of everything on top of everything. Has a bit of an anger issue but he is stressed out. Doesn’t really know how to talk about it, either. He’s usually a very upbeat, positive, and easy going kid. But everything has happened within six months of each other and if he doesn’t get a day off he’s going to blow. His parents are trying but they don’t know how to help if he doesn’t talk to them. He needs a weekend with his boyfriend and no life or death situations for five minutes if you so please.

Sharkie;

The world went to hell and Bulk and Sharkie made the best of it. Sharkie always did love Bulk, had since they were kids. Bulk, well if he didn’t love her it was close enough to love to not make a difference. Like Skull they’re teen parents. All three of them banded together, hunkered down, and co parented because none of their actual family members were going to help with this. Leech’s actual name is Sabrina. Nobody calls her Sabrina. She had a reputation for biting as a kid, but this saved her from being carried off by Goldar, who became too preoccupied trying to get toddler off his hand and just flew off to get his wound treated (and later called the small one a worthy warrior who’d be a great adversary and possible apprentice when she was older). Most people assume Leech, currently 16 and dealing with the “totally not” cult kids branching out of that creepy house and her honorary cousin, got the nickname for a variety of other reasons. Not an alien warrior affectionately naming her it after confronting her parents after the incident. And it just sticking because objectively it was funny. Leech thinks Lauren Shiba is a total babe but if you tell Lauren no she doesn’t.

Unfortunately “be as abrasive as possible” is the agreed way for flirting to go, in this family, so Lauren has the distinct impression this scary mall goth karate instructor absolutely hates her. They’ll figure it out. Leech, when she’s not mooning after Lauren, or helping her parents run the dojo, or goofing around with Spike, she’s playing video games at the arcade at the mall. She has the high scores on every game there. She’s going to get the tickets for a life sized plush gorilla in a Groucho Marx glasses. She thinks it’s hilarious and wants to modify this into a lounge chair for her room. Loves ironic humor. She looks a lot like her mom, but she’s as strong as her dad. This leads to a lot of funny situations.

Spike and Leech act more like siblings than best friends and in their eyes, they are.

Zack Taylor;

Zack realized he was crushing on Bulk when Bulk explained his plan to be homecoming king. Zack loved his tenacity and how genuinely excited Bulk actually was over this. Overhearing Marleau’s threat and Bulk backing down, Zack backed him, and got the rest of the rangers and their dates to back him, because Marleau might think she rules the school but she really didn’t.

He completely fell in love with him seeing him crowned homecoming king. However nothing happened in school, and they fell out of touch for several years. Later, they met again when Zack went to a bar with friends, and found the bartender and owner was a familiar face. Farkas was happy to see him, and Zack was extremely happy to see him. He stayed over that night, and then never left. They work well together and have two kids via genetic splicing courtesy of Billy and Aquitar technology. Brianna, aged thirteen, and Devin, aged ten.

Brianna goes to dance classes twice a week, is as friendly and strong in her sense of Justice as her dad Zack was when he was a teenager. He is so proud of her. Her sense of Justice is perhaps a little too strong, and Zack is watching his thirteen year old like a hawk. Power rangering is fine, but he is not letting his baby girl do it before she’s sixteen. Out of personal experience. She often has a group of kids around her, as a sort of social butterfly nexus; and their house is apparently the “safe house”. Polite, energetic, friendly, everyone’s her friend and she’s everyone else’s friend. Bulk and Zack have had to tell her more than once she needs to know her limits. Not associated with a color; but she’ll be silver the second she’s old enough.

Devin wants to go to Mirinoi when he’s grown up and explore everything there. He likes being everywhere, and doing things with his dads. Happy learning how to bake and cook, is fascinated by sewing and Bulk’s hand sewn jackets. Interested in his sister’s dance recital outfits and often borrows them to study. Bulk’s happy to help him in all his interests. Not associated with a color, but he’d be pink if old enough and chosen.

Hailey;

Prom dance was nice, Bulk was nice, even if he didn’t become prom king, and Bulk was capable and seemed to like listening to her. Next thing they knew though, she was pregnant and he was doing his best by her. Axel Bulkmeier is sixteen and kind of wishes his parents would get divorced and not stay together. Everyone would be happier that way. He especially would be happier that way. Often wanders around town, anything’s better than going home. At this point if one of the villains asked him if he wanted to join, he probably would, it’d at least be better than watching two people who could only barely stand each other and him go about their lives. Axel’s a drummer in a band, kind of moody, and more of a dreamer than anything. Would love to be a famous poet one day, or get off earth and never look back.

Marleau;

Hate fucks can still lead to kids, sadly, and this one did. He married her out of extreme pressure from her parents and neither of them can get out of it because her mom decided they look good together and they don’t want to screw up their kids do they? Peregrine and Pansy really really wish they’d get divorced because they could not possibly screw the two up more than they already have. Pansy’s not even sure if Bulk’s her biological father. He raises her like his own, and so that side of it doesn’t matter, she knows he’d treat her like his whoever the dad was, because he’s the one stepping up.

Peregrine is 27, working at a firm his grandfather set him up at, looking at the rest of his life with a lot of exhaustion and trepidation. He doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t want to keep up a facade. He’d much rather be in the library as a librarian, and reading all the historical fiction he can get his hands on. His grandparents want him to settle down; he would rather chew off his own arm. Not associated with a color

Pansy is 21, and strongly debating if asking someone to pose as a girlfriend for the holidays is worth the drama it’s going to cause. Not that she doesn’t like girls, but she just broke off an engagement; does she want to put that person through all that? The answer is no. Not associated with a color.

Rito Revulto;

Bulk and Skull do not take advantage of him or Goldar when they have amnesia, exactly. Bulk at first offers a sort of ransom to Vile for his son because Rito’s got to be worth something right? Vile basically laughs in Bulk and Skull’s face and tries to kill all of them. Rito protects Bulk and Skull with Goldar, and the four hide out. Rito’s memory coming along in drips and drabs but colored by the experience, well. He throws his lot in with the humans. Hell, he would have done what Bulk and Skull did too so he’s not even that mad about the ransom. He gets closer to Bulk, impressed by his tenacity. Bulk jokingly tells him “hey come back in ten years if you still feel the same way and I’m single.”

Rito takes him seriously. At that point a then 30 year old Bulk, impressed and flattered, couldn’t really think of a good excuse for why this shouldn’t happen. They have one daughter via magic. Faline, aged eight. She’s a force of nature, as much so as her dads. Spike loves her, and often has the little mystic girl on his shoulders as they go all over town or follow her dads around. Everyone else side eyes Rito massively, but he’s much calmer now. He’s quite content just taking things day by day with his little family. Out of necessity, they moved to Briarwood after the mystic rangers happened. Just so Faline could be close to her aunt, and a community who could mentor her when and if she felt ready to learn magic. Fairly typical for a little girl, she likes adventure, make believe, and playing with her friends. She’s fairly bossy, and knows how to haggle. She loves braiding Bulk’s hair.

While Rita doesn’t get it, she’s happy her brother is happy. Plus, this niece of hers gets to be just a child, they’re both making sure of that. She grows up safe, she grows up loved. Faline’s second favorite place to be aside from Bulk and Rito’s house in Briarwood is the mystic mother throne room, where Rita tells her (age appropriate) stories. The mystic rangers adore the kid too, and she’s an unofficial mascot of the record store.

Aaaand if I’ve missed anyone lemme know and I’ll put them in! I think I have, but -shrugs- this dude has a lot. It’s wild.

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thegirlwhohasnochill · 4 years ago

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The Disease of Addiction

Euphoria Special Episode Part 1: Rue (Recap & Review)

Before I begin my official review of this episode, I would like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a primer about spoilers and trigger warnings. The show covers a range of topics from addiction to mental health. Still, I specifically want to warn anyone reading that I explicitly talk about and mention the topic of suicide in my review. If this is triggering for you in any way, please, don’t read ahead and take care of yourself! Okay, that’s it; I hope you enjoy my thoughts, and please let me know if you have any feedback or comments for my review and things I can change or fix in the future.

Where to begin with such a loaded episode...we knew the format and style of the episode would be simplistic based on the current realities of filming amidst a pandemic and what we saw to be a scene from Season 2 that the creator Sam Levinson expanded upon. Zendaya herself let us know that the episode's storytelling method would be vastly different from what we’ve already seen on the show. The format and simplicity of the episode, in contrast to the loaded dialogue and content of the scenes, are perfect. The camera takes you right into the middle of these conversations with Rue and Ali. But before we can even dive into what they talk about, we have to address the elephant in the room that is Rules. The episode begins with what is probably one of the most gut-wrenching sequences I have seen on the show. Because we know the reality and truth of their current predicament, Rue’s peppered kisses across Jules’ body and her tight squeezes and hugs from behind Jules evoke a strong sense of loss and pain for the viewer. The sheer intensity of the physicality of Rue’s affection for Jules is so overpowering and overwhelmingly present, we can almost feel the imbalance in their relationship through the screen. There is something to be said for the harsh reality of Rue’s dependence on Jules being reflected even in such a non-objective dream-like sequence. And yet, even in Rue’s wildest dreams and happiest stupor, she does not imagine the sobriety of her future. To me, that is indeed the crux of her character and the essence of this episode. Ali himself says, “The point is your sobriety.” And while it may feel like a focal point of discussion, the conversation flows in a way that seems to bounce back and forth between the two like a simple tennis match. It is easy to follow between Ali’s most potent clearest convictions about how the world works and Rue’s drug-addled hazy perception. The inherent contrast between their mental states and the different points of life in which they are both standing hit the viewer at alternate moments.

But we know Rue is not sober even as she lies to Ali and stumbles out of the bathroom, the shaky camerawork conveying her recent use. She is wearing the same shirt from the dream but has her signature hoodie on, her messy curly locks running down her back and glassy eyes staring straight ahead. The scene moves from her imagination of life with Jules to her lies about use. Her eventual admittance to being a high-functioning user happens as quickly as the conversation moves from sobriety to faith.

So I might be biased and hence don’t think I am incorrect in admitting that Zendaya has never given us a bad performance in her life. Even as she lies to Ali’s face and he is quick to call out her apparent contradictions, the faint slurring of her voice and her glazed eyes tell all. As striking as the conversation is, it feels even stranger for me to admit I felt comforted by Rue’s confession to thoughts of ending her life. And even as she admits to the darkest moments in her mind, Ali’s face and reaction are an even better neutralizer for what would generally be such an alarming thing to say to someone you barely know. As they continue to discuss her eventual relapse and all the reasons behind it (including racing thoughts encompassing “all the things I remember and all the things I wish I didn’t”), the viewer can envision the sequence of events that was shown to us in the finale - her fights with her mother and sister, her first time using when her father was fast asleep, her father’s death, her sister finding her after her overdose.

As much as I would like to quote the entire episode, I have to say Ali’s monologue about the idea that none of us are born evil and that society views mental illness and addiction as a personal moral failure rather than an overarching system many of us are incapable of overcoming, to be one of, if not the most decisive moments of the entire show. The line about coming out of the womb with “a few wires crossed” but still a beautiful baby girl eventually messing her way up through life struck a chord in me. I didn’t ask to be born this way. I don’t feel in control of my mind or the way it ever seems to work. And I’m always going to be a bad person. The disease of addiction and mental illness lets you - no, it makes you - view everything you have ever done in your life as not a consequence of the way your mind works, but as an active choice, you have consistently made, as you screwed up everything you’ve ever loved, and let down everyone you have ever cared about. The disease is not you as a person or even the way you think, and yet it is powerful enough to feel that way. Almost like the rapid cycling between mania and depression, the disease flips between, making you feel like the most powerful, invincible person alive and the absolute scum of the earth. There is nothing in between.

Ali’s backstory and his monologues about his change in faith from Christianity (when he was previously known as Martin) to Islam and the world's revolutions were fascinating. Side note: I did think the line about women converting to Islam was unnecessary, but I digress.

Rue’s understanding of the Narcotics Anonymous program's steps was the perfect way to bring in the conversation of faith. As she mentions her difficulty in coming to terms with the idea that there is greater power in charge of her behaviour and the way she surrenders herself to drugs, Ali chimes in with, “You don’t believe there is a power on Earth greater than Rue.” She disagrees and continues quoting and citing different sources she believes to be omniscient and great. And I absolutely agree with her. To me, there is no greater power than the source of art, the music that keeps me going, that feels like it’s the only thing keeping me from stopping the blood pumping through my veins. I understand Rue. But I also understand Ali. And yet, when Rue goes on to talk about the inexplicable workings of the world, my heart stops. There is no reason. There is no reason for the absolute pain and loss and suffering I’ve experienced, for the trauma I’ve witnessed and endured. For the absolutely horrifying things, the people closest to me have lived through. It is merely chaos. There is no reason I wake up every single day, regretting the fact that I did indeed wake up and that I am alive and breathing. So I Understand Rue. But Ali’s monologue about the moral arc of the universe and the unfathomable ways in which life and history line themselves up, to open our very eyes to the realizations we come to daily, is overwhelming. And yet, while he is waxing poetic about the intricacies of the world, we can see Rue’s exhausted eyes glaze over further, still unimpressed. “Maybe I’ll start a revolution like Malcolm X or something”, she quips back. But Ali is quick to counter; revolutions are no longer revolutionary.

Life as we know it is hypocrisy and foolish symbolism, only emphasizing his point about the universe's ridiculousness. Does any of it have meaning? Or is the meaningless void just another puzzle piece in a picture we will never get to see? There is also something to be said about Rue’s facial expressions as Ali continues his train of thought about her “generation”. As we often do when we hear our elders dismissively brush off our many concerns, she almost rolls her eyes. But he is listening, and he knows. “You think you’re out here fighting a revolution, and Bank of America is on your side? Give me a fucking break.” He’s not wrong. His speech reminds me of the masses of teens on TikTok creating video content specifically catered to an audience with an aesthetic that glamorizes the image of a revolutionary teen hero. But instead of a blazing bow and arrow, it is the common cell phone and a punchy soundtrack filtered through digitized audio. What would typically come across as preachy in any show catered to teens is, in fact, poignant. It also reminds me of how self-aware Euphoria is, knowing it’s guilty of falling into the same trap it accuses the viewer of doing.

You have to commit to bettering yourself, Ali essentially tells Rue. And to me, that is the most inherently human struggle we will ever face in our lifetimes. As long as we exist, we have to face the idea that each day is, in fact, not going to be easier than the last. And when he tells her that he believes in her and that the hope of her success (that may one day come) should be greater than the failure of her current demise holding her back, I want to cry. I keep thinking about that edit of Rue to this is me trying by Taylor Swift.

The music of the song that Jules has texted to Rue swells, and it is easy to get caught up in the angst of the moment. It accompanies the words, “I miss you.” And if it wasn’t for Ali’s conversation with his daughter as background noise, one would simply soak in the gut-wrenching pain of their separation. The juxtaposition of Ali trying his absolute best to cling to his family as Rue continues to isolate herself from her loved ones and push herself further into the abyss makes my heart physically hurt.

Ms. Marsha’s spell-binding words of wisdom about sobriety and relationships compared to Rue’s tired exhaustion imminently displayed on her face make the viewer a little wary of what comes next. Her misunderstanding of a juvenile relationship with Jules is made clear when Ali confronts her about the fact that the two of them never had a real conversation about their feelings for one another. Rue’s distrust in the idea that things will eventually work themselves out stems from the fact that she feels disappointed by how her loved ones have left her so far. She eventually spirals into this negatively destructive way of thinking. She cognitively recognizes and justifies getting left behind because she thinks and believes she deserves terrible things in life. She lists examples of past deeds to further cement her argument. But Ali counters back with the simple statement that “Drugs change who you are as a person.” Regardless of her actions, he believes she is still a genuinely good individual while she argues that she is absolutely not. My favourite part of this whole conversation and the entire episode is the manner in which Ali questions Rue’s negative cognitive patterns. Her brain and mind essentially excuse bad behaviour by convincing her that she will never be a good person. Hence she can never forgive herself, and thus, she will continue to remain in this cyclical pattern. Our actions may be inexcusable, but they do not line up with our intentions. The inevitable human struggle is not whether we are fundamentally good or bad, evil, flawed or perfect, but if we are (and again, not to quote my other favourite show, The Good Place) trying to be a better person than we previously were. If we recognize that our actions are wrong and we are capable of experiencing remorse and regret for said actions, who's to say we are entirely incapable of change. This reductive polarizing, and dismissive way of thinking is characteristic of the brains of most people living with a mental illness. Our outside influences, such as drugs, can all be contributing external factors to how we conduct ourselves through life. Ali’s short bit about redemption and human beings deeming actions unforgivable forever can easily be paralleled to direct conversations we have online about “cancel culture”. The phenomenon of dismissing and reducing someone to their mistakes instead of allowing them to grow from them is a nice sentiment. Still, if we do not truly take accountability into action and witness no real changes or remorse, we can quickly get stuck in that cycle. Even if our beliefs do not line up with our actions, drugs can eventually change that. The belief system we hold so dearly, the convictions we strongly feel, can all be washed away by the simple use of drugs, Ali explains as he tells Rue about his family background. His experiences with abuse and his eventual hypocrisy as he plays the role he always feared in his family leave the viewer speechless. As we watch him tell his tale of regret, there is no woe or sorrow in admitting he is or isn’t a fundamentally good or bad person, just the thought of his attempt to change his ways that impacts the viewer.

As the viewer waits with bated breath to see what comes out of Rue’s mouth next, it is not a surprise (to me personally). Rue has no intention of staying sober because she has no intention of staying alive much longer. Ali asks her why she feels that way. She responds with her sentiments about the cruelty of the world. Ali understands. We truly are living in dark times, witnessing truly horrific events, and the fact that we even have the capacity to care any longer is indicative of our will to stay alive. It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it, but when you are so sad, so grief-stricken by the news, by the world’s turn of events, by the mere thought of witnessing more tragedy that you cannot bear to be alive any longer, it means that you are deeply invested. Invested in the way things will turn out even if you do not personally believe you want to participate or even be privy to being complicit in a system that does nothing but churn out pain, anger, and hatred. When I was at the lowest point in my life and attempted to end my own life, I was overwhelmed by the goings-on of the world. As emotionally drained as Rue is, a part of her still cares. She wants her sister and mother to know that she really tried. Just as I wanted and still want my parents and friends to be okay without me when I do eventually leave this earth. Of course, I care about what happens to them. The idea that suicide or suicidal ideation is inherently selfish is so contradictory to the reality of how suicidal individuals genuinely feel. It is the opposite. We care more than most, and we care to the point that it hurts to extend another moment of kindness to ourselves amid all the chaos and madness of the world. But still, we try. We do our best. Ali believes in Rue. He has faith in her.

The entire episode ends on a melancholy note as Rue and Ali depart the diner with Rue wistfully staring out the window as he drives her home. Ali loves his conversations with Rue and vice-versa. The fact that two people can be sitting at a diner alone on Christmas Eve talking about the beauty and cruelty of the world and everything ranging from politics to addiction to suicide to love to family and anything in between goes to show us that humans will always find a way. The fact that two people struggling and suffering from addiction can find their own way about and amidst the chaos of the world and still have these meaningful conversations about life and existence tells us that ultimately, Trouble Don’t Last Always.

#euphoria #zendaya #sam levinson #colman domingo #rue bennett #jules vaughn #rules #hbo #recap #review #nanwrites #rue #jules #zendaya coleman

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wardens-stew · 4 years ago

Text

The Mask Falling Hints MASTERPOST

Clearly I have wayyy too much time on my hands!

I have compiled a list of information Samantha Shannon has divulged on social media about The Mask Falling, mostly paraphrased from her Tumblr and Twitter. Some of it dates back as far as 2016, so it’s not certain that all of it will happen - I’ve included an asterisk for the tidbits in which Samantha explicitly mentioned that it was pre-editing. I didn’t include a link to the original source because that would be too much work, but if anyone has questions I can probably find it pretty easily! The recent ARC reviews also include some hints, but I haven’t included them because that would be a crap-ton of text. Feel free to add anything I missed! Anyway enjoy the fruits of my obsession!

Hints:

We will find out how badly Warden was affected by Paige’s torture - there’s a lot about the effects of her torture in the book

The non-binary character is a free-world spy, pretending to be French

Paige has issues with drinking water and showering

Paige will make another valiant effort to get Warden to talk about his feelings

Paige’s demisexuality is clarified - she reflects on the way she wants in comparison to the way the allosexual Nick and Eliza do

Paige gets slammed into the wall by someone, but not Terebell (also not Warden, because then she would be very dead)

The grey market storyline continues

Etymological connection of Arcturus meaning bear-guard and Mahoney meaning descendant of the bear is worked into the books

Paige cries

Paige’s PTSD is a thread throughout the book

Paige has mental and physical difficulties following her torture

“The scope of everything gets bigger, there's more focus on the free world and how it interacts with Scion, and you'll find out more about Rephaite history and the origin of clairvoyance.”

You may figure out what happened to Procyon

Warden’s aura type is mentioned*

Paige starts calling Warden Arcturus. They have a discussion about it. But she keeps calling him Warden in front of other people.

The prologue begins about an hour after The Song Rising

Warden asks Paige to teach him Irish

Contains clues as to the big secret at the heart of the series

Warden does a few very sweet things

We’ll find out a reason why Nashira considers Warden a possession rather than a partner*

Paige is at her most fragile

One of the characters eats an orange

There is a distinct Priory parallel in one section of the story

Paige asks Warden if Rephaim can get drunk

We will find out if Rephaim can get physically ill

We’ll get a piece of information that may help us understand the Rephaite logic behind Warden feeding on Paige’s aura

More about the golden cord

Paige’s feelings with her father will be explored

We will find out why it was common knowledge amongst Rephaim that Terebell and Warden were once mated

Warden might tell us what would happen if he tried to eat

More about voyant-amaurotic sex will be explained

We will learn more about the Rephaim’s internal politics and conflicts

We get to see Paige’s birthday

We we’ll find out how Warden knows how to develop Paige’s gift*

Paige and Warden butt heads over right and wrong

We’ll find out why Warden said that Sargas are the only Rephs who choose their mates

We’ll find out more about the half-urge

We’ll find out more about the complicated history between Warden and Terebell

Warden is planning to learn Gaelic (pre-editing)

We’ll find out two of the reasons why Warden hates Nashira so much*

We’ll find out about the promise Warden made to Nashira that she alludes to before the Bicentary

Warden says something with an exclamation mark

Warden will tell us more about the memory of Terebell, and how it was a prelude to one of the defining moments of his existence

Paige visits Warden’s dreamscape a few times, but we only see it once

Paige addresses the author directly

Nick isn’t in the book at all

The plot takes place only in Paris

Paige dies her hair red

A character Samantha did not originally plan to be in TBS4 now is

There’s a big scene in the Sainte-Chapellle in Paris

The book is shaping up to be the darkest book in the series, but also contains the most jokes

Paige feels really ill for most of the book

Samantha starts hinting at the Grand Backstory of the series

Paige is under strict orders to stay inside for a month, but she breaks the rules to explore Paris

The main antagonist was born in “the burning summer of 2019”

We’ll find out about two of Warden’s past relationships

Paige and Warden have to get food deliveries from a guy called Albéric because they’re not allowed to go outside

There’s espionage

Warden uses the super unnecessary word “sennight”

A lot of the book takes place underground

We learn if a non-polyglot could ever learn Gloss

There is a Very Awkward Conversation*

There is a time skip between the fourth and fifth books

Warden smiles a lot… with his eyes

The ending will change everything

Scion must change its public face due to an event that happens at the end

People who liked The Mime Order will love it

TBS4 picks up when Paige is resting.

It will go into more detail about how Rephaim emerge

It marks the beginning of Beautiful Dresses in The Bone Season

It introduces a Rephaite character Samantha absolutely loves, with her favorite Rephaite name

There’s a scene Samantha has wanted to write for years

The ending is very dark

There’s a cute priory reference

There’s a character Samantha loves - “she’s so cool that I don’t know how a nerd like me invented her”

“The relationship between Warden and Paige gets deeper and more complicated in this one, and you get to know Warden a little better.”

“[Paige and Warden] are together a lot in this book, as they’re sharing a safe house in Paris. It’s the first time they’ve spent a significant amount of time with one another since they escaped Sheol I. You’ll actually glimpse the ways they both react to being stuck inside in The Mask Falling, as they’re meant to stay hidden in a safe house for a month so Paige can start to recover from her ordeal.”

“It’s a love song to Paris in the way The Mime Order was a love song to London.”

“[Paige and Warden do have some happy calm moments.] Although there’s a lot of action in the book, there’s also quite a lot of downtime. Paige is still recovering from her ordeal in the Archon, so she can’t always be out in the world kicking ass. She’s resting as well, trying to get her strength back.”

“I won’t lie, The Mask Falling is a book to fear . . . but there are some nice bits. Including some coffee-drinking.”

“[Paige and Warden] do so much in this book. So much.”

“Most of the characters who didn’t go to Paris are absent from TBS4.”

“Paige and Warden do so much in this book, I just couldn’t cram any other storylines in. However, several old friends do turn up in it, as well as a bunch of new characters I hope you’ll love as much as I do.”

“Paige [experiences the messiest-most-intense emotion in TBS4]. She goes through the emotional wringer in this one.”

“The second ‘arc’ has the same main characters and the same antagonist. The difference has more to do with the setting, the scope of the narrative, and the type of battle being fought against Scion. You’ll have a better idea of what I mean when you read the end of TBS4.”

“This book puts both [Paige and Warden] through the emotional wringer, but there are lighter parts as well.” “Nick meets an old friend while he’s in Sweden and Paige and Warden will be staying in central Paris, on Rue Gît-le-Cœur. You can see some of the locations from Book 4 here: [x]”

“TBS4 is basically just a long Hurt/Comfort piece with occasional and reluctant splashes of Action/Adventure”

“THE MASK FALLING leans a little more Adult than the other BONE SEASON books. The whole series is officially classified as Adult, but the first three aren't far off YA in terms of sexual content, violence etc. THE MASK FALLING is . . . maybe a tiny bit sexier.”

“Doing my final reread of THE MASK FALLING and naturally I've noticed a recurring phrase that I have used no less than thirty times in the manuscript.”

“It blows the world of The Bone Season right open. It’s where everything changes. It takes place in a brand-new setting and forms the bridge between the two ‘arcs’ of the series. I hope the ending will show readers get why I really do need seven instalments to tell this story.”

“Books 1-4 is what I call the “Scion arc”, but Scion is still a threat in Books 5-7. Book 4 is kind of in the middle, with more of a focus on Rephaim than there currently is in Book 3.”

“He’s in Book 4, he’s French, he’s voyant, and I’m writing his introduction scene now. I think I love him?”

“The draft is about 140 000 words long – a little shorter than The Mime Order – with a veritable tonne of action, espionage, international politics, eerie catacombs, old enemies, new friends, and messy, intense emotions packed into that word count.”

“This one combines my favourite elements of The Bone Season (Warden and Paige chats), The Mime Order (syndicate weirdness) and The Song Rising (heists and angst)”

“The fourth Bone Season book is well underway, and things are about to take a very dark turn for Paige.”

“It’s mostly focused on Paris, but you’ll find out bits and pieces about what’s happening in both England and Europe.”

“She’s suffering from PTSD and aquaphobia following her water torture in The Song Rising, so she’s pretty much in the ringer for the whole book. There are a few light moments, but she’s under a lot of stress from the start.”

“While I wouldn't call it spy fiction, TBS4 is delving into espionage territory as Warden and Paige, still exhausted from their tremendous efforts against Scion in The Song Rising, attempt to navigate the convoluted political and criminal networks of Scion Paris.”

“Book 4 is a touch more political, laced with subterfuge”

Lists:

Things you’ll see:

The carrières of Paris

A masquerade (ofc)

A mysterious character you haven’t seen in a long while

Arcturus Mesarthim saying ‘hm’ about 18 times

Five words:

Revelations

Politics

Water

Heartache

War

Three adjectives:

Macabre

Emotional

Seismic

There is a lot of:

Warden and Paige

Rain

Classy interior decor

Angst

New characters include:

A spy so fashionable and icy cool I’m unsure of how a nerd like me created her

A tall, irritable Frenchman with a bit of a God complex

A terrifying new Rephaite with an uncomfortably sexy voice

It has:

A Parisian underworld

A demisexual MC

A masquerade ball

Catacombs

Forbidden, angst-stricken desire

Verbal consent

Acknowledgement of periods

I can promise:

Parisian buildings TOURISTS LOVE. Notre-Dame? It's there, there's a masquerade INSIDE IT. Sainte-Chapelle? Oui. Versailles? Naturally. The Eiffel Tower? Oh, we're climbing it

Getting DOWN and DIRTY. (By which I mean literally, down, into the catacombs.)

People who arrive in Paris SPEAKING FRENCH because they have been given a job for which they have the correct SKILLSET *bangs table*

No crêpes (#OhCrepe), but CHAUSSONS AUX POMMES

ROOFTOP PICNIC

Not everyone is STRAIGHT

Chic OUTFITS, all quite filthy by the end

Locations:

The beautiful Sainte-Chapelle, my favourite place on Earth.

Rue Gît-le-Cœur, a major location in the book and previously home to the Beat Hotel.

The famous doorway in the Paris Catacombs. The inscription translates to 'Stop! This is the Empire of Death.'

Rue Montmartre, where we may or may not encounter an old face.

Preview in gifs:

Originally posted by cinemagraphs

Originally posted by queeniegoldtsein

Originally posted by cumlelerinruhu

Snippets:

Out-of-context chapter title: Chapter 3: Gloomy Coffee

Part names*:

1. To Pay Thee Free

2. Turn the Anchor

3. Eurydice

Quotes:

“What the fuck is that?” she whispered to me. “Looks like a frozen rainbow.”

“The horizon was as red as if the fire still burned. I watched the sunrise from the roof. Fog breathed into every nook and alcove of Paris, laced over the dark crests of the river, blanched the skin to the pink of salmon. I was sure the air was still spiced with the tang of smoke.”

“So,” he said, “we are choosing larceny.” “Always so surprised when his criminal friend commits crimes.”

“I wouldn’t usually care who you’re riding at any given time”

“I sensed all of this was very important, but I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about”

“I picked up the floundering ribbons of my dignity and started over”

“His home was in decay, and mine lay in the shadow of the anchor. Scion had made wanderers of us.”

Current opening line (circa Dec 18, 2018): “The sun had been climbing over the cliffs when our ship had pared away from Dover.”

“Someone who had heard of me and whose first response had not been to try to kill me. What a treat.”

“A hollow ache stretched out within me. It started in the chambers of my heart, in a place that reached eternally for Ireland.”

“‘I promised you we would stay together,’ he said. ‘In the absence of other options, I will follow your lead on this matter.’”

“‘I’m fine.’ ‘Your attempt to mask the darkness under your eyes serves as compelling evidence of that. As does the full bowl of coffee.’ I cocked my head. ‘Did you just master sarcasm?’ ‘Paige.’ ‘It’s a cup of coffee. With… no handle.’”

“‘There’s no fireplace,’ I stated. ‘No.’ ‘But how are you-‘ A wild laugh was bubbling up. ‘How are you going to cope without one?’ ‘Cope,’ Warden repeated. ‘You need one. To stare into, pensively. Did you know,’ I said to him, ‘that you do that a lot?’ He tilted his head, which only set off a fit of silent laughter. My ribs ached in protest.”

‘I mustered all the breath I had left and screamed, until I folded on myself and my voice burned to nothing.’

‘Who can break you now, Black Moth, now there is nothing left to break?’

#the mask falling #the bone season #masterpost #hints

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marta-bee · 4 years ago

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Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Sherlockians, I want to talk about Mary. Or not about Mary the character, because enough words have been spent on that topic and I’m nowhere near brave enough to wade into that one on a snowy Sunday afternoon, but rather on the way we as readers can (perhaps should) relate to her. At some level what follows is about this Tumblr post, where an anonymous commenter asked for “any fics where Mary’s not the bad guy” and noticed that a lot of the evil-Mary fanworks “gets a bit misogynistic in my opinion”; but I’m also using that as something of a springboard, and don’t mean this as a direct reply to that post. (Which is why I’m not replying in a reblog; please everyone go check out that post and comment on it as well.)

Anyway, let me start with two basic points that I hope are pretty noncontroversial.

Mary is an antagonist, at least some of the time.

Mary has at least some aspects of her character that are bad-making (more on what I mean by “bad-making” in a moment), or at least would be if she were a real person.

The devil’s in the details here, as it is with most things worth talking about, so let’s unpack that a bit.

(Long post is long, and so continued under the cut.)

When I say someone’s an antagonist, I’m not really making a value-judgment. I’m purposefully avoiding that word, “villain,” which calls to mind “villainous” as a description of their personality and character. An antagonist is just someone who plot-wise stands in opposition to the character. They’re wrapped up in the conflict our hero has to overcome.

Let’s take a pretty straightforward (and unrelated to our fandom, so hopefully less emotionally charged for a lot of us) example: the first “Hunger Games” book. Katniss is thrown into a gladiatorial fight to the death with twenty-three other teenagers. With the exception of Rue and (later in the games) Peeta, everyone else is an antagonist in relation to Katniss. She has to hope for their death and be prepared to kill them because their continued existence stands in the way of her surviving the games. Most are reduced to numbers with s knowing precious little about them – certainly not enough to think they deserve death. But they’re still antagonists because they’re obstacles the hero has to work past if she hopes to succeed.

Or take Draco Malfoy, in the early Harry Potter books. He’s a thoroughly unpleasant boy, spoiled and sniveling certainly, but I’d be hard-pressed to call him bad. His biggest defining characteristic is he stands up and tries to fight Harry; but often as not this comes down to inter-house squabbling and the only reason he and Harry are on opposite sides is how they were sorted. As we learn, given the way he was raised and the political situation he was raised in, it’s actually pretty admirable how on the periphery of the Death Eaters he stays. But he’s still the antagonist, he’s the one Harry has to outsmart or outperform or otherwise get around.

It's only natural we cheer when the antagonists fail. We’re primed to identify with the protagonist, after all, and their failure means the protagonist gets to win. Even if objectively know the antagonist doesn’t actually deserve to fail, well. That’s just kind of how stories work.

Getting back to Sherlock, I said it’s pretty noncontroversial that Mary’s an antagonist. So when I say that I don’t mean she’s evil, or even that she’s only an antagonist. But the woman shoots our star character in the chest. It’s her secrets and her very presence that drive Sherlock into exile (and drive Sherlock and John apart) for a second time, undoing whatever victory Sherlock achieved when he defeated Moriarty’s web. She’s certainly a problem to be addressed and worked past in HLV. In terms of canon and parallels with the Doyle stories, there’s quite a lot about her actions (particular in Leinster Gardens) that all but screams “Sebastian Moran.” Ergo: antagonist.

There’s also a quieter, more ordinary sense that I suspect will be more controversial but is worth talking about anyway. Like a lot of Sherlockians and Johnlockers, I’m a big fan of making space for John/Mary/Sherlock in happy OT3 land. I think Sherlock and John at least want some version of that in canon; maybe not romantically, but they like to imagine their being room in their lives for these different relationships to not be in conflict. But in BBC-canon that hope’s not really borne out. This deserves a full meta on its own, but briefly: when Mary observes that neither she nor Sherlock were “the first” (talking about Sholto), she situates them in competition for the same position in John’s life, rather than in distinct, complementary ones (which an OT3 seems to require); and when Sherlock notes at the end of TSOT episode that “we can’t all three dance,” he seems to come to a similar conclusion. I do love me some good Johnlockary fic, but I don’t think this is where the show was heading

At a more basic level, I’d actually argue it almost has to be this way with these three- at least if we’re to hold on to John and Sherlock being “the two of us against the world.” In the 1800s men and women had such different roles in society, a man would do very different things and relate in very different ways to his close (male) friends than he would to his (female) wife. So Watson could run off with Holmes and have adventure, then return home to Mary for the peaceful, even loving family life, without one really being in tension with the other. But by the twenty-first century those spheres aren’t nearly so different. Even if you don’t imagine them as lovers, it’s hard not to imagine a self-respecting woman today saying as Mary did in TAB, “I don’t mind you going; I mind you leaving me behind.” One of the biggest challenges for a modern Holmes adaptation (or indeed, for a modern consumer of the original Doyle stories) is how to balance Holmes’ and Watson’s private “intimate partnership” – however we understand that term – against (John) Watson’s marriage to Mary with all we moderns expect of that relationship in terms of emotional fidelity, equal partnership, shared future, etc.

Put more simply: Mary should throw a monkey-wrench in the mix; she should be something that must be accounted for and whose presence should affect how Holmes and Watson can interact. Not to mean her presence is incompatible with Holmes and Watson’s close and exclusive relationship, but at a minimum she’s a factor in need of an explanation. She can’t help but be antagonistic, at least to some interpretations of Holmes’s and (John) Watson’s relationship.

As I said, with antagonists, it’s only natural to cheer for the protagonists, which almost inevitably means rooting for the protagonists’ failure. At least we root for them being de-antagonized, converted into some other relationship to the main character. But if you’ve spent any time on AO3, you’ve probably come across fanfic focusing on the antagonists (*cough* Loki *cough**cough* Drary *hacks up a longue* Silm-fandom-this-one’s-for-you *cough*’s). We can be a thirsty bunch when it comes to our antagonists, for characters we by all rights should be primed to hate. And even at the level of primary-canon, one of the biggest ways the primary creator shows their emotional growth is by realizing their antagonists aren’t truly their enemy. Like most readers I had a tear in my eye as Cato suffered through the night, begging for death; and certainly I would have been outraged if Harry hadn’t saved Draco from the Room of Requirements in “Deathly Hallows.” Gollum’s treachery is explained and he is given his own completion; Darth Vader is spared by Luke and allowed to look on his son with his own eyes; and the Klingons, Cardassians, and Borg are given their own sort of redemption in Worf, Garak, and Seven of Nine.

All of which is to say: it’s understandable, even natural, why people would have a hard time rooting for the antagonist, but there’s a long history of fandom peoples steering into the curve on this one. So it’s also understandable, even natural, that people want to hear stories with them at the center, both new stories about them and also versions of the original canon narrative that don’t need them to wear the black hat all the time. Some folks want Mary, Sherlock, and John to all go crime-solving together. I personally think there’s sometimes a danger of turning an antagonist – especially one who is at least morally gray (and I promise we’re getting there) like Mary is – into a protagonist without wrestling with what turned them into an antagonist in the first place; so if you want to bring Mary back to the side of John and Sherlock you need to grapple with what pushed them into opposing roles in the first place, or else risk your plot feeling “cheap” and unearned. (In fairness, this warning could as easily be directed to Mofftiss as anyone in fandom!)

But at an absolute minimum, I think it’s pretty obvious that lots of fans want to imagine the antagonists as at the heart of their own stories, and lots of fan-creators have done a really good job of providing those stories. Just as a lot of fans will almost instinctively be drawn to hate them, well, if you want to go a different path you’re in good company.

Enough about protagonist/antagonist, which as I said is more about the role the character fills in the story than about their morality or character. This, for me at least, is where it really gets interesting.

Before we get started, though, I know a lot of people struggle against this idea of morality when it applies to fictional characters and fictional stories. They’ll point out (rightly) that just because they enjoy a non-con PWP doesn’t mean they approve of rape in real life; that their reading preferences come from a different place entirely than their moral judgments. But at the same time, a lot of people (equally rightly) struggle to enjoy stories that glorify things we don’t consider worth glorifying. It’s one thing to enjoy a story about Draco rejecting the Death Eaters, returning to mainstream wizarding society and joining the Aurors; quite another to imagine him dating Harry while he’s still walking around calling Hermione a mudblood.

Or getting back to the Sherlock fandom, a lot of people are most comfortable with stories with Mary’s the antagonist because she’s got a character history and just personality traits where, if we met someone like her in real-life, we’d consider her morally bad. Or on the flip slide, those fans who want a not-evil!Mary in their stories often like to imagine her as the kind of person we’d describe as good or redeemed or some such thing, if she were an actual person. Mary’s morality, at least the morality of a similar person operating in the real world (because --speaking as a former philosophy Ph.D. student who taught philosophical ethics for years-- let me tell you: talking about the morality of fictional constructs gets very messy, very quickly), seems to matter to a great number of fans. So let’s talk about that.

I said above I thought most people would agree, Mary had parts o her character that were bad-making. What I mean is there are aspects about her that tend to make a person bad, unless they’re explained by some other factor. I’ve got in mind something vaguely similar to W.D. Ross’s theories of prima facie duties (if any of you studied this in your Ethics 101 courses- you would have in mine). Basically, the idea is we have all these duties that apply to us, but they can seem to conflict, and we may decide (rightly) in any given situation that one or the other is the more important one for us to follow. The classic example is the duty to keep our promises and prevent suffering when we can. You can imagine situations where you can’t do both- for instance, if I promised to meet you for lunch and on my way to the restaurant came across a man who fell into a ditch and twisted his ankle along a deserted road, where it’s unlikely someone else would come upon him. If I stop to help him I’ll miss our lunch date and break my promise; and while I still have a duty to keep that promise, I think most people would agree it’s more important to stop and help the person. We’d all be hard-pressed to say if I helped the stranger, I’d failed at my duty to keep a promise; at least not in the same way as if I could have kept that promise and just chose not to. That’s Ross’s idea of prima facie duties: that we have all these general obligations on us, but which actually should govern our choices in any particular instance comes down to the details of that situation.

I think there’s something similar going on with Mary’s character. This is actually a good way to evaluate most of us morally, in my opinion, but it’s doubly useful when it comes to Mary because she’s simultaneously got so many troubling aspects about her that just demand some sort of justification, but at the same time, because Mofftiss really screwed the pooch here, we don’t really have the information we need to give a definitive answer. So it’s useful to say: here’s something about Mary that needs accounting for, even if we don’t have enough information to evaluate her definitively.

Let’s take Magnussen’s biggest accusation against her: “All those wet jobs.” Mary killed people on her own prerogative, and she left behind a lot of grieving relatives who would love their revenge – both a testament to the suffering she caused, and a real risk for John, the baby that will become Rosie, and everyone else in their orbit. But if that’s all there is to it, it’s not wholly dissimilar to John’s decision to shoot the cabbie. It may have been different, but we don’t have the information to know that; it feels different, but most because John was saving Sherlock (who we know), whereas if Mary was saving anyone, it’s not someone we the viewer have an emotional connection to. Still, to borrow a phrase from Ricky Ricardo, Mary, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Or to take an even more serious charge, Mary shot Sherlock, was prepared to make John watch him die all over again and force him to go through that grief that so nearly destroyed him the first time around. Unforgiveable, yeah? The best shot at justification here is that Mary had somehow got herself cornered, so that shooting Sherlock was somehow an attempt to escape an even worse sitation. This really demands a full meta to dive in to, but very briefly, I think Mary never intended to kill Magnussen and was instead trying to intimidate him; meaning she couldn’t let Sherlock undercut her power, but equally she couldn’t leave Magnussen with the impression that John and Sherlock were somehow her partners; so shooting Sherlock was the best way to keep him from becoming a full target of Magnussen’s. If that’s the case, the whole showdown in Magnussen’s office becomes markedly similar to Sherlock’s decision to “kill” himself on the roof of St. Bart’s. Mary is willing to cause a lot of pain to avoid even greater destruction, but at the same time, the whole situation that compels this choice was fed by her limiting her options when she decided to intimidate Magnussen. Similar to how Sherlock, once he’s on the roof of St. Bart’s, has no better option than to fake his own death and leave John to grieve; but how he does have some degree of culpability for engaging Moriarty in the first place and egging on Moriarty’s destructive obsession with Sherlock.

My point isn’t that any of these parallels really hold up to scrutiny. Sherlock risked his own life in TRF (and John’s pain) while Mary was prepared to kill another. John was ready to kill “a bad man” to save our hero while whatever murders Mary committed were against unnamed people in undetermined circumstances, and narratively certainly don’t pull at or heart strings in the same way John’s heroic killing of Jefferson Hope does. But the point is, with Mary, so much of what a lot of fans object to involve these vaguely-told stories where whatever factors would excuse her actions just are left untold. What we can say definitively is “all those wet jobs” require justification. Mary’s willingness to shoot Sherlock require justification. These things are prima facie wrong (or bad-making, the kind of things that tend to make something bad in the absence of other explanations) and demand an accounting for.

I’m focusing on Mary’s violence more than what a lot of fans have identified as her abuse toward John. Partly, this is personal: I have my own experience with abusive relationships and don’t entirely trust my ability to parse similar dynamics in fiction; certainly I don’t want to tie that part of my past to public debate, and I’ve not worked out how to talk about Mary and John without over-personalizing it. But I will say, there’s a lot to be considered on that front as well, and people interested in thinking through Mary’s im/morality shouldn’t ignore it. As a starting point, inevity-johnlocked pointed to several of her old posts making the case that Mary was an emotional abuser. silentauroriamthereal’s fic “Rebuilding Rome” looks at a lot of these issues in a really powerful way if you’re looking for an exploration in fic form. I’ll just add, even if I thought Mary was justified and so “good” in some sense (and my internal compass is so screwed up, I’m not really qualified to tell at this point), the way she chose or had to lie about her past to John seems a particularly bad match for a man like him with his trust issues. So even if you think Mary is good, there’s a lot of justification for saying she’s still not good for him.

So what does this mean for reading fics involving a kinder, gentler Mary? First, I’d emphasize there’s no shame or judgment in reading what you want. Much as writers may choose to write about all kinds of things they’d disapprove of in real life, readers have that same freedom to scratch whatever readerly itch they like, with no need to defend that to anyone else. Kinktomato and all that. On the other hand, I know I personally enjoy stories more when I can lose myself in them, and – again, for me personally – it helps me do that if my values are at least compatible with what’s presented as praiseworthy. I don’t have to guard myself as I enter the story. So it’s definitely worth thinking about how comfortable you are with fiction that vilifies Mary or pardons her or something in between, because it may make it easier or harder to really immerse yourself in a fic.

Then again, maybe that’s just me. I am a rather persnickety chickadee with things like this.

I do know that many fandoms have an unfortunate history of coming down hard on the female competition to a popular slash ship. While I’m reluctant to apply “should”s to our consumption of fiction, I think there are genuine feminist concerns here. Not with thinking Mary’s bad/evil or even hating her, but hating her for the wrong. For me, it helps to imagine another character doing something similar, and think about why I would react differently if it was someone other than Mary doing the deed. Also to be aware of the details canon doesn’t answer decisively or answers different ways in different episodes.

(More than most characters, Mary does suffer from a really inconsistent characterization. I’ve often wondered if everything since HLV was Sherlock or whomever trying on different frameworks for her personality/psychology/what-have-you, to see which could account for what she did to him. First she’s a badass villain, then a Mycroftian operative, then a martyr, then a worldclass manipulator, and finally a sanctifier whose own personality was irrelevant, giving her imprimatur from beyond the grave. And that’s without throwing veteran/maths genius and happy homemaker into the bunch. Maybe the showrunners simply weren’t sure what they wanted to do with her. Whatever the situation, I do think we need to be careful about taking any one canon detail at face-value, especially with her.)

I’m also a little discomfited by this trend I’ve seen among Johnlockers, to write Mary as a monster as a way to lessen John’s pain at her… betrayal, I guess? Or just the loss at her death? I remember when a lot of fanfic authors back between S3 & S4 wrote about the baby being fake; or even after S4, as part of John’s “alibi” rather than a true detail. Or even just deciding the baby was David’s or some such. By itself, that could have been really interesting, but what I saw so often happening was people used that as a way to remove the complication of the baby. Or to let John skip the grief he’d feel if the baby wasn’t born healthy- for instance, if it didn’t exist, or died, or if Mary was killed or ran while she was still pregnant. The basic theme was if Mary didn’t deserve John’s pain, John didn’t have to hurt for so long or as deeply.

Complicated grief is a thing, though, and for a lot of people, grieving the loss of someone who hurt them and aren’t “worth” their pain seem to suffer worse and for longer, particularly if they also have to grieve the lost opportunity to make their peace with the person while they were alive. This doesn’t mean fanfic writers or readers have to give us some kind of sanitized Mary; certainly she has the potential to be a true east wind of a character. But I do think there’s a tendency to prefer a more evil Mary because this lets the story move past her or spares John some suffering often won’t feel true. It also runs the risk of disrespecting the suffering of people impacted by these kinds of losses. So while I think this kind of characterization can be really interesting and compelling, it also takes a lot of skill and thoughtfulness to do it well. Here be dragons.

For me, though, the point isn’t to be proscriptive, to say Sherlock fic writers and readers need to limit themselves to a particular read of Mary. Her character has such potential to give birth to such a wide range of fic. As a viewer of the show I wish the writers and other creators had given us more of a sense of who she was because I think it really contributes to my frustration with not understanding the story they were trying to tell. But as a (kinda-sorta-someday-once-again) fic writer, it’s a true embarrassment of riches. The trick, for those of us concerned about Mary’s ethics were she a real person, is to be aware of the dangers of reading her character certain ways and to be cautious around them if we want to play with those interpretations.

#sherlock meta #mary morstan #marta blathers #johnlock meta

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kazsbrecker · 4 years ago

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The general love questions for Julien and Harry!

Idk if you’re asking for the general questions and the love questions, so i’m just going to answer both because I adore this wholesome couple.

General 1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go? Harry. He was aware that Julien has loved him for a while, so when Harry finally admits he returns his feelings, it’s one of the best moments of Julien’s life. 2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? Yes. Julien is such a soft romantic, Tracey is brilliant, and Rue knows her brother well, so the Copper Trio helps Julien plan a unique first day especially since Julien remembers Harry admitting how awkward his first Hogsmeade date was with Cho. Their first date is a picnic on the Quidditch field and they bring their brooms so they can race and chase each other. 3. What was their first kiss like? It happened during their first date while they were still on their brooms after the last race which was the closest between them. It was a quick kiss, a peck really, Julien taking a bit of a risk. They were already breathless and full of laughter, but Julien had never seen Harry smile so big afterwards and Harry leaned in for another. 4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? Both of them have had relationships and kisses before (Harry with Cho fifth year, and Julien with a male Beauxbatons student fourth year). But those relationships didn’t last that long, so Julien and Harry are each other’s first real love and long term relationship. 5. What’s their height difference? Age difference? There’s a bit of a height difference (5 inches because Harry(Daniel Radcliffe) is short). Not much of an age difference, Julien is only two months older. 6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Great both ways. Julien’s parents have come to adore Harry after Harry and Rue stayed with the Fawley’s summer between third and fourth year. They would be more than pleased if Harry was to become their son in law. Julien is one of Rue’s best friend and she thinks he’s one of the best people in the world, so she 100% approves of Julien/Harry. Sirius and Julien get along great and Remus appreciates how happy Julien makes Harry. 7. Who takes the lead in social situations? Julien. He’s truly a social butterfly because he’s very charming and also grew up attending a lot of social events for his father’s ministry job and because of pureblood society. Harry has more introverted tendencies and is still a bit awkward in crowds considering his struggles with dealing with the whole public perception when he was the boy who lied in fifth year and then the Chosen One after wards. 8. Who gets jealous easier? Julien is the first to be jealous because seeing Harry and Cho together is what makes him realizes how much he cares for Harry, but Julien does’t act on it. He keeps his feelings to himself, tries to be a good friend for Harry and wants all the happiness in the world for Harry, even if it’s not with Julien, Harry feels moments of jealousy and a bit of insecurity later on especially at social functions because people just flock to Julien, drawn by his personality and he struggles to think himself special, even as the Chosen One, so he questions why Julien is with him (even though Julien constantly has heart eyes for Harry).

Love 1. Who said “I love you” first? Julien. After Harry and Cho break up, someone (idk who yet) mentions how much Julien is into Harry. Harry asks him about it and Julien doesn’t lie to him. He admits his feelings but also makes it clear that Harry does not have to say anything in return. He would be happy just staying friends. 2. What are their primary love languages? Julien shows love through physical touch while Harry shows it through quality time. 3. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? Julien is a very affectionate person and doesn’t hide it. Especially when they’re out of Hogwarts, Julien will kiss Harry on the cheek a lot and hold his hand. Harry is a bit shyer but in private he definitely loves to cuddle. 4. What are their favorite things to do together? Playing Quidditch and flying on their brooms together. 5. Who’s better at comforting the other? Julien because he gives the best hugs and a good listener. What really brings them together is that after fourth year, Julien is Harry’s main comforter as Harry is dealing with the grief over Cedric. Julien was also really close to Cedric, so that loss is shared between them. 6. Who’s more protective? Harry, because he’s lost so many loved ones already and knows that Julien would be a target for being the Chosen One’s boyfriend. 7. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? Physical. You cannot tell me that with Harry’s childhood that baby would not be a bit touch starved. 8. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise? Dancing on my Own by Calum Scott, Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, Sweet Creature by Harry Styles 9. What kind of nicknames do they call each other? Harry calls Julien Jules and Julien calls Harry babe.

send me ship questions!

#luucypevensie #julien asks #julien fawley #ship: harrien #br/otp: somewhere only we know #i love them so much

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thecorteztwins · 5 years ago

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🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊!!!!! Scream about them!!

WOW THAT’S A LOT I’ll talk about two, Ashti and AverySo I have a ton of old OCs but I’d rather talk about the new ones I started making this year after like 4-5 years of not making them anymore.

ASHTI YILMAZHer family are Yazidi Kurds living in Germany, grandparents originally are from TurkeyTender, wistful, melancholy, manipulative, explosive. Far more emotional than logical, and quick to let her bleeding heart and overpowering passion take her reins, whether in sympathy or anger. Easy to hurt, tease, and rile. Prone to sulking, pouting, and brooding, but can shout too when pushed far enough. Has strong feelings, but these make it hard for her to take a strong stance on complicated matters, since her emotions get pulled both ways. Always feels a little out of place. Beats herself up over little things. Fancies herself the mom friend but actually needs a mom friend. Moody, immature, unconditionally supportive. Will say awful things she doesn’t mean in anger and prone to emotional blackmail when upset. Fatalistic, often just accepts that powers that be must have a plan, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. Warm but wary; always friendly to new people externally, but inside she's on the lookout for any sign they dislike her or are making fun of her, which sometimes leads her to read too much into innocent remarks or innocuous expressions. Feels more experienced than people from more privileged lives and groups, but also like they’re smarter and more accomplished. Ashti definitely has very normative ideas about gender. Nothing exceptional, just common generalizations like women are more emotional, little boys like the physical play, men can be total brutes whereas women attack with cattiness, etc. She’s also prone to romantization of bad relationships, like that jealousy means passion, control means protection, and sticking together through all your fights proves how strong your love is instead of calling it quits. This not only means she is likely to get into and stay in toxic relationships herself, but give her friends dangerous advice to do the same when they come to her with romantic troubles Unsurprisingly, she has a tendency toward tortured bad boys and getting her heart trod on. She has a complicated relationship with her culture. On the one hand, she's proud of it and defiant against any forces that try to take away or erase it. She wants to learn more about it. On the other hand, she hates that feels she HAS to learn about it, that as a tiny minority it's on her shoulders to keep carrying this legacy or risk letting it die. And she hates that all she seems to learn is about how much other people hate her, about massacres and genocides and camps and gas, no about joy and triumphs and great works of art like everyone else seems to get to have in their background. That stuff is there too, but sometimes it seems like it's just entirely overshadowed by the ongoing history of persecution, and she doesn't WANT that, she doesn't want to be defined by the SUFFERING of her people rather than their accomplishments. And she wonders, if she has to learn so much of her own culture from books, since so much of it was torn from her family long before her parents were even born and thus they couldn't teach it to her, is it really even hers? Like, really? If she has to learn it in the same way that a non-Kurd would, is she really culturally Kurdish, or just genetically? Where's the line? And can she really count HERSELF as persecuted? Her PEOPLE have suffered terribly, but if she's never been the victim of anything truly bad or overt, does she have the right to speak on that suffering and claim it by extension? One of her biggest flaws is she doesn't know her flaws. She thinks her flaws are being insecure, emotional, and loving too much. And these aren't untrue. But she's missing a whole lot of the less flattering, less endearing aspects of her personality.Dislikes when people think they (or someone else) is a good person just because they are loyal and kind to their friends, family, teammates, etc. Even genocidal dictators usually treat their own well; what really shows who you are is how you treat those who are different from you, those who disagree with you, those that you don’t know, those that you will lose nothing by mistreating?Also dislikes: Shitty apologies, they send her into an instant screaming rage * Line cutters * When people look down at fast food workers, custodians, etc., and clearly have no courtesy or respect for them (ex: carelessly leaving huge messes) * Beautiful sand sculptures because they get destroyed so fast, it actually upsets her that something that took so much talent and care is going to be so transient * Gorillas, they're scary and she's no Fay Wray * Big trucks, they make her nervousLikes: wild honeysuckle, strong tea, sweet coffee, sleepy gray cats, old patchwork quilts with a story, dark storms at sea, bright sunshine after heavy rain, rose and lavender flavored things, mountains (but not climbing them), he sight of old abandoned cottage houses overgrown with grass and vines. She’s always on the side of the common masses against those in power, but it’d be a lie to say she didn’t watch Sofia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette “ on wistful repeat or secretly fantasize about somehow being the lost Princess Anastasia Romanov. She also loves "Beauty & the Beast" stories like "Labyrinth" and "Phantom of the Opera" about powerful and kinda evil men obsessed with beautiful naive young ingenues. Loves photos of skeletons that are embracing in their final moments, not as in props but real remains of people were found holding each other as they died, such as The Lovers of Valdaro Would love to be a model or a beauty blogger, glamorous jobs with no imagined effort where people would love her and see her as pretty. As it is she has a job as a receptionist at a ritzy spa called Tranquility.She can pop her wrists out of place, and paints/dyes silk scarves as a hobby.There’s a history of mental illness in her mother’s family, it’s never been officially diagnosed, they just say they’re “emotional” and “passionate” but actually it’s probably something more along the lines of bipolar or borderline, and Ashti isn’t affected but her mother was to a degree and her sister to an even greater one and it caused a huge rift in the family that the dynamic has never really recovered from. AVERY RUE UNDERWOODWhite American trans girl, goth/grunge, pretty much constantly dresses in the same uniform of a black slip dress with a black hoodie or flannel, or some variation on this. She has tattoos of the alchemical symbols for sulfur, salt, arsenic, and mercury, chosen for their metaphorical meanings rather than scientific. Salt, mercury, and sulfur are in her back, down the length of her spine. Arsenic is above her groin. Neutral and detached, but not disinterested or apathetic, Avery approaches most everything from a position of laidback philosophical ease. When things are too tough that it gets through even her robotic shell, she disengages externally and seems ever more the automaton, while actually dwelling on the matter for days or more internally. She can recite "Cassilda's Song" by heart, and talk for hours about the racism and insanity of Lovecraft, and how both these things are misunderstood and misconstrued equally by his devotees and detractors alike. Her icon is Mommy Fortuna from The Last Unicorn, who chose her death and kept it close to her, caged and hers til the end when it tore her to pieces--welcomed by her with open arms, still hers, hers forever.Collects antique silver plated hair brushes. She thinks a lot about how everyone has a life and internal thoughts and we just don’t know we can never really know another person. She likes to go to lonely personal blogs and Twitter accounts and the like and just follow. She rarely “likes” and even more rarely comments, she just wants to watch this little window into a random life that doesn’t have an audience to be performing for like the big accounts. Maybe it’s creepy and voyeuristic but she feels such a strange tenderness for these screen names that she never speaks too. They’re human souls, every one of them. And maybe there’s no God to hear them, but she does. Studies existentialist, nihilist, and absurdist philosophy. She learns less towards the middle, more towards the other two. Morbid and macabre she might be, but she's an idealist at her core. Some of her other interests include obscure mental disorders (Cotatd’s delusion, Capgras syndrome) , photos of the decomposition process, and the historical use of plants as both cures and poisons. She feels kinship with carrion-eaters like buzzards and hyenas, society sees them as disgusting and evil but they play an integral part in the ecosystem She believes that existence precedes essence. So she doesn't believe she was born with a female soul or anything like that. She just doesn't believe she was born with a male one either. She ended up with a female one, and she's going to facilitate that further, is what she believes. But she also doesn't think of her transition as becoming her real self, so much as taking away everything that wasn’t “her” so that only her real self is there. Like how Michaelangelo said he didn’t make David from the marble, David was already there, he just took away everything that wasn’t David. These two views contradict each other, but she works with it. She's got room for contradictions.She’s bisexual, but when she’s with women, she feels like a pervert or predator next to a “real” girl. When she’s with men, she feels like they’re the perverts, and she prefers that. She prefers feeling degraded to feeling predatory. Basically sex is going to suck for her one way or another due to her dysphoria and she’d rather it suck in the way that doesn’t make her feel like the bad guy.Her family is best described as "neutral" in terms of acceptance. They're not at all hateful, and barely questioned her decision, but they're not involved closely enough with her to be really called "supportive" at all. Everyone in her clan, including herself, are too wrapped up in their own lives to really care one way or the other about each other's, and she's good with that. She prefers it. She'd rather not be interviewed, even from people trying to be helpful; this is deeply personal to her and she finds it invasive. She is pretty good at “being the bigger person “ and not escalating things in a conflict, if only because she just doesn’t give enough of a shit to. She tolerates getting yelled at, even undeservedly, really well. She’d be brilliant in retail, she can cope with Karens all day long and not snap or get worn down. Apathy is a hell of a shield.She doesn’t hold on to people, this is good and bad. On the one hand, it means she escapes jealousy and co-dependency and needing anybody. On the other hand, some people feel it makes her disloyal or uncaring. But she's an island, and she accepts the transience of life.She doesn’t seek outside validation or feel the need to be seen as right even when she knows she is. This has allowed her to avoid a lot of arguments and stress.She might not fear violence from a philosophical viewpoint, but she sure does in her natural animal instincts. This makes her edgy around certain demographics. Straight men, religious people, right-wingers, those sorts of groups. You could argue that she's unfairly stereotyping them, much as others have unfairly stereotyped her and people like her. Sure, fair enough, but she'd still rather avoid getting her head bashed in as much as she can. It's not that everyone in these groups is a violent bigot, it's just if there's going to be a violent bigot, they're statistically more likely to be in these groups. Like when was the last time you heard of a transgender woman being murdered by a liberal lesbian atheist, right? So yeah, she's stereotyping. But she'd rather be alive and a "reverse bigot" than fair-minded and dead. She's not THAT much of nihilist.Avery’s self esteem is best defined as contrarian, taking pride in herself more based on what she’s not rather than what she is, and playing Devil’s Advocate to her own ego. She’s the first to admit that not being something bad is not the same as being something good, and in fact tends to disdain those who do the same as she does and praise themselves simply for not being fascists or bigots or abusers, but it seems like the best she can successfully argue to herself.She's completely non-judgemental of things a lot of people would find weird or creepy. Like, you write human/dinosaur a/b/o erotica? Cool, she'll edit it if you want. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, go for it LIKES:* Urban legends, occultism, cryptids, preserved oddities, the unknown* Deep seas, the night sky, vast storms, huge caves, eternal forests* The crowded isolation of the city at night* Abandoned buildings* The sigh and feel of old velvet and raw silk* Deep sea creatures and weird starfish and giant squids * Hozier, The Sisters of Mercy, Cocteau Twins, Black Tape For A Blue Girl, lo-fi, dreampop, shoegaze, every Lumineers song that has a girl's name as the title, and obscure local alternative bands that the art college radio stations only play late at night* Djarum Black clove cigarettes* Symbolist paintings (especially "Salome" and "Sisyphus" and "The Sin" by Franz Stuck)* Angela Carter, Caitlin R. Kiernan, T.K. Kingfisher, and Nabokov's lesser-known novels like Pnin and Pale FireDISLIKES* Pettiness* The smell of smoking meat, it makes her nauseous, and she's never been able to stomach a steak* Trimmed lawns and pruned gardens* The hypocritical pretentiousness so commonly found in any “alternative “ scene* So-called "horror movies" that are really just gross-out torture porn* Creepypastas that over-explain or don't know when to end* People who pride themselves on "sticking to their guns no matter what" as that seems to her to just be another way of saying they never listen to other opinions or new information because they're so sure in their own rightness* People who forget that everyone else has as much depth and life as themselves, you’re not the protagonist and these aren’t NPCs in a game* Avery is an Aquarius and even though she doesn’t believe in astrology, she still likes reading about it, and it bugs her that her sign is classed as “positive “ and “masculine"* Misuse of the term "social construct"WEAKNESSES* Gives up easily; her transition is really the only difficult thing she's ever stuck with* Navel gazing, over-thinking, gets lost in her own head* Can't make a hard decision quickly* Insomniac* Loses track of time easily* Messy slob, her apartment is DISGUSTING, don't ever be roomies with this girl* She doesn't own a car, but she can drive. She just can't park. She's terrible at parking. She goes in crooked, she goes over the line, she has to pull out and go in again a million times to get it right. STRENGTHS* Comfort with solitude, doesn't get lonely* Equally at ease with both existentialism and nihilism* A veritable whiz with subway routes and schedules* Doesn't sweat the small stuff* Hopeful at her core

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jovialyouthmusic · 6 years ago

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Uneasy Lies the Head

Follow up to Royal Romance Au Fanfic ‘Charlotte’s Choice’

Chapter 2 Ultimatum One

Charlotte buries herself in official papers and archives, and Drake prvides some respite

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2 Ultimatum One

Across the country, on thousands of TV screens, the face of Queen Charlotte wavered and faded, to be replaced by that of the traitor Anton Severus. His ice blue eyes bored into thousands of households, holding the attention of many, many people.

‘Attention Citizens of Cordonia. You know who I am. I, Anton Severus call on you all to overthrow Queen Charlotte and her forces. Her Father was a tyrant, and such a weak and cowardly young woman does not deserve your loyalty. I have a strong and legitimate claim to the throne and entreat you all to support me in the name of House Severus, ousted by the usurper House Rys centuries ago.’

At the Palace, Bastien was on the phone, barking out orders while Charlotte stared at the screen, shocked and dismayed.

‘Where is this being broadcast from? Shut it down! Shut it down now!’ Bastien ordered but Anton continued.

‘To save unnecessary conflict, I call on Charlotte Rys to stand down from her illegitimate claim to the Monarchy. I urge you, Charlotte, to acknowledge me as King of Cordonia. If you act swiftly I will be merciful and allow you to rule as my Queen, but if you delay my forces will remove you and your upstart Consort from power. Be warned, my forces are ready to strike, and soon’ The picture faded, and the crest of the house of Severus appeared for a moment before the screen went totally blank.

‘We’ve shut down the transmitter’ announced Bastien ‘Anton must have hacked into it, it’s inoperative until we can be sure we have control of it again.’ Charlotte was pale, but instead of fear she showed anger.

‘How dare he?’ she said in a low tone ‘How dare he risk the wellbeing of my citizens? He won’t get away with this. Where is the film crew? I’m going live straight away, as soon as we have control back’

‘Your Majesty!’ Bastien cautioned her ‘Please, you must consider what you say very carefully’

‘Oh don’t worry Bastien, I know exactly what to say. Anton will rue the day he crossed swords with me. I’m not the weak cowardly woman he thinks I am. I know exactly what makes him tick after that awful visit to Valtoria. He’s vain and arrogant and egotistical. Leave it to me, my citizens will never have to suffer under his reign.’ Charlotte was coldly furious, and Drake looked at her in wonder and admiration. He had never seen her so focussed and under control. She had changed rapidly since Constantine died, and he was not sure how much more power would affect her. He reached out to hold her hand, and he saw her eyes focus on him and grow soft. She squeezed his hand back.

‘Thankyou Drake’ she sighed ‘I won’t let anger or fear get the better of me’ It was a short while before Bastein could be sure of having control of the airwaves again, and the film crew set up to broadcast live. Charlotte appeared cool and calm in front of the cameras.

‘My dear citizens, let me assure you that the usurper Anton Severus is bluffing, and even now my loyal Guard are closing in on him. I have no intention of handing over power to him. I can assure you, after spending some time in his company, he only seeks power and has no interest in the wishes of the people. Even now, I am preparing legislation that will allow ordinary citizens to have a say in the policies and economics of our beautiful country. My father and I had the opportunity to test each of the suitors and their aims and abilities in governance, politics and economics. Please be assured that although he professed to support every good policy that was presented him, Severus either had no grasp of economics, or deliberately tried to make himself appear generous, while supporting policies that would bankrupt the economy in the long term.’ Charlotte paused.

‘I have always known the virtues of balance and moderation as a method of maintaining the status quo. Add to that the fact that the former Lord Severus has both threatened and carried out physical violence in order to gain power, and you will see that he is not fit to rule as Monarch. I hope you will all support me in my efforts to apprehend him and bring him to justice for treason before he causes more harm.’ She gave a warm smile, and the broadcast ended.

After the film crew had left, Bastien called a security meeting and the Palace went into lockdown.

‘We don’t know what plans Anton has made, or whether he is bluffing’ Bastien said ‘We are still looking into various dissident factions within the country, but Anton has kept his tracks well covered. For now, I advise that you stay at the Palace, your Majesty, while we conduct our enquiries. Plans for the Coronation have to go ahead – the longer you remain uncrowned, the weaker our case. We have to double security or move the whole ceremony back to the Palace as originally intended.’ Drake spoke up.

‘I don’t see why we shouldn’t hold the Coronation here – unless we want to lure Anton out by using the Cathedral’ Bastien nodded.

‘We don’t have to make the decision tonight. I suggest we sleep on it. Your majesty, I strongly advise you don’t spend any time alone if you can help it.’ He smiled at Drake ‘Perhaps your prospective consort will see that you aren’t alone overnight’ Drake nodded gravely, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

‘I will gladly take on that task – Charlotte will be safe in my hands’

Later, they lay silent in the huge bed, Charlotte stunned and wondering how things had changed so fast, feeling lost – but not alone. Drake was there, solid and dependable, tender and loving. She burrowed into him and he held her tight until she relaxed and they made love for comfort, not for passion or longing.

They had waited so long to be together, and now things were very different to how she imagined but she wouldn’t be without him for anything. The idea that she would give in to Anton, accept him as King and become his Queen was unthinkable. She was still some time away from being legally, properly joined to Drake, but at least they could be lovers in the real sense of the word. Next they had to go through the Coronation, when she formally announced him as Consort and she became lawful Queen of Cordonia, but then they had to plan the wedding before they were properly joined. If it wasn’t for him – she wasn’t sure how she would cope with what life had brought her.

Charlotte tossed and turned even with Drake beside her. Eventually she fell into a deep sleep, but it was not so deep that she didn’t dream.

She was dancing with Drake, his feet slow and clumsy, and she smiled to encourage him.

‘Just take it slow, I don’t care if you step on me, I’d rather dance with you than anyone else’ He grinned apologetically, and she looked down at his feet. She guided him with soft pushes and pulls of her hands, and slowly he improved, the steps growing smoother and then faster, and they started to fly across the ballroom floor.

‘That’s so much better Drake’ she said, looking up at him and almost screamed. It was not Drake, but Anton who held her and whirled her around the floor. His smile was cold, his ice blue eyes boring into hers.

‘Think again Charlotte’ he said. ‘Where’s your crown? She reached up to her head for the heavy symbol of the Monarchy that she was sure she had been wearing only minutes before, but her head was bare – not even a tiara sat on her glossy dark hair.

‘Father’ she cried, hearing the gunshot behind her. She was alone and Constantine dropped to the floor, the crown dropping off his head, red blood blooming where his heart was. She didn’t know whether to go to him or retrieve the crown, and it rolled across the floor toward Anton, who picked it up triumphantly and held it aloft.

‘You’ll never wear it’ he said in a low sinister tone, suddenly close to her, lips next to her ear. She shuddered and looked at the ground. Blood spread out from her father’s body as he lay on the ground, lifeless. The floor changed to a checkerboard of black and red – the black an empty void, the red sticky with blood.

She looked up at Anton who had transformed into a chess piece that towered over her – the Black King, and she was the Red Queen. He floated over the void, and she could only step on the red squares which threatened to hold her down to the board, immovable. She tried to move away from him, other black pieces looming up, surrounding her. She was the only red piece left on the board save one, walled off by the knights and bishops and pawns. It was Drake, and he held out his hand, calling her name

‘Charlotte,’ he cried ‘over here. My sweet Princess, come to me’ She looked down at her feet, sinking into the sticky red blood.

‘I- I’m Queen now’ she protested

‘You’ll always be my Princess’ called Drake ‘Come to me my sweet girl’ She struggled, and suddenly she was free, the chess piece that imprisoned her cracking apart, emerging from what she realised was her chrysalis. She was the Phoenix, her arms transformed to wings of fire, fingertips spewing out flame that consumed the black pieces, melting them to slag and then powder, burning away the sticky blood to reveal the white marble beneath, the powder blown away, the marble clean and smooth.

‘I’m coming Drake, I’m coming’ she sang, stretching her wings and soaring high into the air.

The next day Charlotte went to Constantine’s chambers. She had ordered his rooms shut up save for a once over by his aide Geoffrey, and she called him in to the study. The man looked sorrowful and haggard – for the past few months he had spent most of his time by the King’s side, one of the few to know how ill he was and tend to him, hide the signs. There were two high backed chairs by the fireplace, the grate empty and cold

‘Geoffrey’ She said softly ‘Please sit, do you need anything – a drink perhaps?’ He shook his head

‘No thankyou your Majesty’ but he sat down and looked at the fireplace, shivering slightly. She smiled.

‘It’s strange without the fire burning, isn’t it? All these years and I never knew why he insisted on it, everywhere he went’ she referred to the King’s method of writing private notes, to be burned once read, as a security measure when he was wary of being overheard. Geoffrey nodded, misty eyed. ‘How are you, Geoffrey?’ she asked ‘and please, you can call me Charlotte, you’ve earned the right. I am so grateful for your years of service.’ She realised she knew little about the man, silent and ever present, taken for granted.

‘Thankyou your – Charlotte’ he replied, sitting on the edge of the chair. She barely knew where to begin.

‘What will you do now he’s gone?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice steady around the lump that formed in her throat ‘You know you have the support of the Crown for as long as you need it. Do you have family?’ she cursed that she didn’t know, had never heard of any attachments, and nobody could tell her. He had been there for as long as she could remember, but even Bastien knew nothing about him save for his unswerving loyalty. The man shook his head slowly

‘The King was my family’ he said simply, and looked up at her with pale grey eyes that held a sadness in them ‘Lifelong service was expected when I began here. I never married – I have a sister who is a little younger than me, and I have nephews and nieces’ he smiled ‘Though I never had much time to spend with them.’

‘And what would you like to do now, Geoffrey?’ she asked ‘You have earned your retirement – or if there is a job on the staff that appeals to you, I can arrange that, you will want for nothing.’ The man looked around the rooms, his eyes watering.

‘I – I can help you go through the King’s belongings if you would permit it.’ He said ‘There are places nobody else knows about, things he kept.’ Charlotte fought to remain dry eyed – she had enough of crying and needed to be strong for Cordonia, and for those around her. Anton had called her weak, and she couldn’t afford the luxury of tears.

‘Thankyou Geoffrey. You don’t have to decide what you want – take your time, we are all grieving. If there is anything you want – anything, tell me and it’s yours.’ The man bowed his head

‘Thankyou your – Charlotte. If I might be permitted to keep my rooms, come and go as I please – in accordance with Mr Lykel’s approval of course. I won’t move anything of your fathers, I hope you will permit me to help you go over his rooms when you wish’ Charlotte’s phone vibrated – it was a message from Bastien asking to meet her urgently in her study..

‘I have to go. I will let you know when I have time to…’ she waved her hand to indicate the room, the lump in her throat preventing her from saying any more. They both stood, and Charlotte stepped forward to embrace her father’s aide. He stiffened at the unfamiliar contact, then relaxed and hugged her back.

‘Thankyou Charlotte. He loved you very much, and you are becoming more like him every day’ He bowed his head and left, and Charlotte went to her study, where Bastein waited, looking grave. He was seated, still recovering from his injuries, and looked uncomfortable not to be standing in front of her.

‘Your Majesty, there is a new development’ he said. I’m about to call an emergency meeting, but I need to tell you first’ She nodded and closed the door, walking in to sit at the desk.

‘What is it Bastien?’ she asked, her stomach knotting with dread.

It appears the Royal Crown has gone missing from the Cathedral’ he said. ‘the Coronation is in jeopardy’

#charlotte's choice #uneasy lies the head #drake walker #the royal romance #royal romance au #the royal romance au #trr fanfic

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margridarnauds · 6 years ago

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Since @circecular requested it, have some more details on 1789: The Dating Sim

Initially, I claimed that Ronan and Olympe would be the two main characters, now, however, I realize that Solène and Ronan would make more sense. The player is given a brief amount of context as far as the time and place, ala the French production, and then we go to the Beauce, 1788, where the player has to choose between playing as Ronan or Solène and whether they have a preference for men, women, neither, or both.

Ronan:

Olympe

(The “canon” ship; no one plays it even as the game tries to *lightly* guide you in it.) After she rescues Ronan from the Bastille, the player has the opportunity to kiss her or not; if the player chooses not to, they settle as friends. If the player tries and is rejected due to a lack of charisma or relationship points with Olympe, they settle on more neutral or negative relationship.

Possible endings include: Ronan dying at the Bastille, Olympe dying at the Bastille, Ideological Break-Up (Where Ronan becomes consumed by the revolution and Olympe leaves, frightened and disgusted), or Happy Ending in the Country

Lazare de Peyrol- Notoriously tricky, requires using the right dialogue options during the opening, as well as during the Bastille, where Ronan has to interrogate him while he’s interrogating Ronan. The player only knows whether they’ve succeeded when they’ve unlocked his Tragic Backstory, along with some sort of tragic keepsake. From then on, the romance option is unlocked, but still requires careful planning to be carried out.

Potentially worth it, as it also has the most clothing unlockables associated with it (with various characters commenting on how Ronan’s able to afford his new wardrobe), as well as several sidequests.

Possible endings include: Peyrol shooting Ronan, Peyrol being killed at the Bastille, Ronan defecting (available during the Maniaque sequence, ends the game if activated because really wtf is the point anymore), Idealogical Breakup (with an afterward showing their individual fates during the Terror), Peyrol defecting (involves utilizing the right dialogue actions during either Nous ne Sommes, if you choose to go to Rue Louis XV and confront him or the Bastille, which, if not carried out, is more likely to be followed by a “Ronan gets shot ending”.)

Robespierre/ Desmoulins - Both have similarities, with the only major differences ultimately coming with the end. Unlockable from the “Brothers of the Revolution” scene, where you can choose to kiss one, the other, or both.

Endings include: Ronan dying at the Bastille, leaving one or both heartbroken, with the subtext being that this is what causes them to take the actions they take later on during the Reign of Terror, the three of them ending in a happy poly trio, Ronan choosing Robespierre and helping him kill Desmoulins and Danton in 1794, and Ronan choosing Desmoulins and swearing revenge on Robespierre after his death. If you choose to kiss either of them and then defect to Peyrol, that affects the ending, as it’s mentioned that Ronan’s guillotined in the Reign of Terror for his betrayal.

Robespierre’s hat is also a collectible, wearable item that you can acquire by playing with the printing press.

Fersen - Only available through an easter egg during the duel, essentially Olympe’s track, only with Fersen in Olympe’s role, leading to Ronan having to desperately save a screaming, bound Fersen from Artois in “Je Suis un Dieu”.

Solène:

Danton

- The “canon” romance, unlockable from the point where he approaches Solène at her place in Rue Saint Denis. Takes a brief hit with the revelation that Solène’s Ronan’s sister, and if the player doesn’t use the right dialogue options (though the dialogue options are really such that it’s incredibly hard to NOT choose the right ones), the so-called “Bros before...” route is unlocked, where he walks away. At some point, he offers a job in a café in exchange for being his steady mistress; the player can either accept or refuse. Is it’s accepted, Solène gets an optional cafè outfit.

Possible endings include: Solène being abandoned by Danton, Solène staying in a steady relationship with him until his downfall in the Reign of Terror, accumulating wealth and status (Note: It is possible to spare him, IF Solène has a strong relationship to Robespierre, but this is very tricky and works best in a playthrough where Ronan survives), and Solène taking him for everything he’s got and running away to a life in the country.

Lucile Desmoulins - Unlockable if Solène chooses the job at the cafè, as she checks in to see how Solène is getting used to the new job. Not particularly tricky as far as the dialogue options are concerned, but requires a VERY high relationship score to be successful.

Possible endings include: Lucile chooses to stay with Camille, the three of them become involved (Solène has to have a positive relationship with Camille to trigger the option), and Solène convincing Lucile to break the engagement, with the afterword mentioning Camille’s execution.

Olympe - While not as tricky as the Peyrol route for Ronan in terms of dialogue options, it presents problems of its own, mainly since the player has to (1) Choose to be in Palais Royal at night, possibly after a successful “Bros before...” route trigger and (2) See the Queen’s meeting with Fersen, which the player has to choose to investigate further. Unlike the Ronan route, it doesn’t involve a duel with Fersen/trip to the Bastille, since she’s not an IDIOT, but it does involve Solène accidentally tripping on a cobblestone, alerting Olympe’s attention. From there, choosing the right dialogue options formally trigger the romance.

Options include: Olympe dying at the Bastille, permanently alienating Solène from her brother, Ronan dying at the Bastille, alienating Solène from Olympe even as there’s some hope for reconciliation, Papa du Puget dying and Solène comforting Olympe, the “idealogical differences” route akin to the Ronan/Olympe one, as they realize the societal opposition is too strong, the two of them having a full romance and going off to England together when the Revolution becomes too intense, or the full Happy Ending route, where the entire family survives and moves to the country.

Marie Antoinette- The most difficult of all the Solène romances, requires the player to have (1) observed the meeting with Fersen and (2) Made the decision to March on Versailles (which, if undertaken, IMMEDIATELY ends any Danton romance undertaken, as the game prompts you several times if you reaaaalllyyy want to do it), as well as making EVERY single correct decision during the March so that Solène has the option to get to Marie Antoinette’s bedchamber and save the Queen from the other marchers after having a change of heart.

Since it occurs later, there are fewer options available: Solène as royal favorite, successfully getting a pardon for her brother after the Revolution is successfully crushed, Solène watching the execution in 1793, or the two of them having a brief but ultimately meaningless affair as Solène becomes a revolutionary (if the events of the playthrough are already leaning towards a “Ronan dies” ending),

It is also entirely possible for Solène to not choose ANY love interests and either (A) stay in the trade, becoming a wealthy courtesan during the Directory Period or (B) to return to the country to her brother.

Olympe

Olympe acts as an unlockable character with her own tracks, possibly as a result of a player collecting the right items/memories/etc. during the Ronan and Solène tracks.

Options for Olympe include Ronan (told from her point of view, possibly with additional endings and scenes unlockable depending on the decisions made), Solène (again, told from her point of view and with different options), Marie Antoinette (which is MUCH more easy to unlock than in the Solène route), Ramard, and Artois. If Olympe goes through the entire game without ANY romantic interests, it is possible to unlock Peyrol as a love interest.

#1789 les amants de la bastille #my questionable decisions #btw you never really realize how little Olympe gets to interact with people until you try to come up with tracks for her

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photo-art-w21 · 4 years ago

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Interpreting Images: Visual “Meaning” or “Symbolism”.

Hi Class,

How can an image have meaning? Let’s consider some ways. To begin the weekend and most likely continuing to think about your photos for Monday, here are some words of motivation to hopefully inspire your explorations.

Creating meaning and symbolism is something that we seem to learn to do in various ways over time, and this gives us a good reason to practice the forming of symbolism, or at least considering the possibilities of symbolism in what we see, if we choose to do so. (Or not. We don’t have to.)

(2018)

In class we talked about the potential meaning of photos and how to possibly interpret images. I say “possible” because I recognize that there are multiple ways to interpret images as opposed to just one way. I asked you for this next week to start thinking about the idea of objects and meaning. For your assignment, try to make 10 photos that have a symbolism or meaning to you. These photos can be of objects or scenes, or even people. Mainly just think about this as a concept and see how it affects your photos, but overall I’m more interested in you having fun or being inspired while shooting your photos. So, do what you need to do to keep your head in that spirit of things. Don’t get too bogged down with this concept if you have no interest in it. We’ll take a look on Monday.

Now let me speak some more about this concept and hopefully it will serve to motivate you to experiment with the idea. I’m about to get a little heady so bear with me...

Maybe you remember the image below that I showed in class that I had made in 2007. The title in this photo does a lot to reveal some kind of potential meaning behind these things rather than just being empty objects, even though they could be. It really depends on how we choose to see them. The title implies a context that helps our imagination to think about the history of these objects more. We might start to relate to the image not by relating to the object but by relating to what they mean to someone else, the person who might have owned the objects. Simply understanding that they are significant objects to someone else might be enough.

(Dad's Work Boots on Swedish Horses and Joni. St. Paul, MN 2007)

While out photographing once in 2007, working on a photo project about some apartment buildings in Minneapolis, I met a woman named Linda who said that I could photograph her apartment. Without knowing anything specific, I noticed this stack of objects that just seemed like it had some kind of significance. I asked Linda if I could photograph the objects. She answered, you must be an artist. I think I smiled and didn’t know how to answer. She said, “I respect that.” She then told me about the objects but just to the point of describing them by name only, not going very much into the back story of each object. Her description was brief, mainly just as the title ended up:, “Those are my Dad's work boots, I grew up on a farm in Wisconsin and that’s barn paint on his boots. I’m Swedish and involved in the Swedish heritage center. These are Swedish horses I used for something, and oh,.. Joni. with a sigh.” (a Joni Mitchell record cover). Even though she didn’t go into great detail, the way that she said what the objects were communicated that they were significant objects to her. Without knowing the back story, this is an example of an image where the meaning is mostly unknown to the viewer in terms of specific stories known only to Linda. However it’s still somewhat universal to understand that these object could be meaningful in general to someone. Thinking about the image and knowing that they are hers, I notice that my mind starts to imagine Linda in earlier points of her life, living within the significant moments of these objects.

Sometimes we may not need a full story about a photo to form a sense of meaning. A few words or a title can often serve to lead us in a direction of thinking though.

(I wish that summer would last a little longer) September 2019

It seems that imagination is a key component involved in what we’re discussing. As we start to think more about the meaning of images and creating meaning ourselves, it seems like an interesting approach to explore would be to think about it in a less intimidating way by thinking in terms of “symbolism” rather than “meaning”. The two concepts are related but I believe “symbolism” is a little less lofty of a word or concept, at least to serve as a starting point. It seems to me that “symbolism” and “metaphor” are things that exist because of our willingness to allow for our imagination to be active, because “symbolism” or “meaning” usually involves the evocation of something that is not directly present in what we are seeing with our eyes.

Symbolism is more related to what we see in our mind, that has been triggered or associated by initially seeing a referential object with our eyes.

(October 2017)

In the photo above, you see the imprint of the leaf on the concrete but does it make you think about the actual leaf, a tree, or even just the changing of a season, the movement of time, the cycle of life?

Because our mind can follow tangents down infinite roads of thought, what we see with our eyes and what that reminds us of or represents doesn’t have to be obviously known by others, but the more we practice the skill of interpreting images with others the more common our understandings become and start to align or become more universal. We can come to a more common visual literacy together over time with practice and exposure to this idea together in conversation.

(Andreas Gursky, Bahrain I, 2005)

It can be pretty confusing to try and dissect how meaning or symbolism through images actually works, and less fun to over-analyze it, but it’s interesting to at least consider the mechanics of what is possibly at work for at least a moment. Imagination is something that is probably working all of the time, allowing us to envision what we might do next in the day without having to actually be doing it, which basically lets us set tasks, plan, and make schedules for ourselves. So in this way it seems that imagination could be tied to our logic systems in general and we have the ability to use imagination for different purposes. We can use imagination in very practical and functional ways and it seems that we might also use our imagination to activate or acknowledge our emotions or have empathy for others.

(Henri Cartier-Bresson, Rue Mouffetard, Paris, 1954)

If we are thinking of imagination in terms of being something active and also passive, meaning that we can both choose to be open to it, running along with it, letting it guide our thinking, and yet also have imagination constantly working involuntarily like when we unconsciously breath air, it seems to leave a lot of room for interpreting how symbolism or meaning is actually operating in our lives.

(Image by Lucas Zimmerman)

It seems that either way, “meaning” and “symbolism” are based on the building of knowledge and personal reference, built up through the experience of living our lives. We agree by a certain age that a green traffic light symbolizes that it is safe to go, and a red light symbolizes that we are supposed to stop. We learned that symbolism. Who first created this symbolism? This is one way that we create meaning even though it is not a particularly deeply sentimental form of meaning. What do you think about these theories?

I’ve just described symbolism in a very technical way in terms of how it might work as a process. To talk about it more simply, “symbolism” or “meaning” is something that you think of personally, naturally, and surely already do by your own nature. You just might not directly think about it or acknowledge it in those terms.

An example of sentimental or personal meaning in an image that I can share is with this photo I have of my Mom that is probably the most meaningful photo I own. It has always been this way and I never had to decide that it was going to be meaningful. It just immediately was this way. But even so, I kind of did make a decision that it would be meaningful to me at some point when I saw it and I think it has become more meaningful to me over time.

In the photo she is probably 10 or 11 years of age. It’s a black and white photo. She’s is being photographed in a very soft light against a dark background and is staring right into the camera, as if she was asked to do so. I imagine that my grandfather, her father, took the photo. Who else would she look at with such trust and openness at that age? I believe my grandmother is slightly in the photo just out of frame to the left. The photo has a finger print that appears on the top left corner of the photo and I imagine this to be either of my grandparent’s accidental fingerprint, now permanently part of the image. The back of the photo says May 3rd, 1959, written in a handwriting that is probably my Grandmother’s.

This is a very special photo to me for a number of reasons that relate to being sentimental but I think there’s also a universal meaning or understanding of why it might be meaningful to me. I think you all could relate to it being meaningful to me even if you don’t know specifically why. It’s in this way that I think empathy is related to meaning. The viewer doesn’t need to know the entire specific story or all of the facts of an image to allow the image to be meaningful. In this way, it could be that an image is an open door to meaning waiting to be walked through if it draws the viewer in to do so.

Think about your approaches to meaning in as open of a way as you want to. What is meaning when related to an image?

(Minor White, Beginnings: Frosted Window, Rochester NY, 1962)

Less sentimental interpretations of meaning exist and its totally acceptable to approach it more visually open and undefined. For example, in class I used Elizabeth’s photo of the wet street and puddle as an example to explore my imagination through what I thought might be a common reading of the image. I thought that even though it was a wet road, it reminded me of a outer space and stars, and it seemed like others had a similar reaction. It then made me think of pushing that idea forward by finding a photo of the moon to be paired with it, making the symbolism of space more obvious even though it was probably not intended when Elizabeth made the photo. (photo below by: Elizabeth Blue, your classmate.)

This approach is an example of applying symbolism to images that are possibly less sentimental than the previous example of my Mom’s photo, or the photo of Linda’s items shown earlier. You could almost say that it is more of a visual association rather than meaning but it certainly could be meaningful to someone under the right view.

Finally, after all of this, just think about how the images that you make might be meaningful or symbolic to you, even if only after you’ve taken them, and be as open with the interpretation as you want to be. There are no real rules or expectations other than to think about it. Be as loose with the terms as you wish. Again, try not to get too bogged down by thinking you have to be very serious or dramatic with this. Alternatively, you can be simple and humorous if that’s how you see it. Remember the cat food cans on the watermelon photo that I showed in class? That is humorous I would say. It would seem that humor alone is just as meaningful as heavier topics might be meaningful. If you think about it, anything has the potential to be significant or hold meaning if you choose to acknowledge it in that way, either before or after the present moment. (Gabriel Orozco, Cats and Watermelons, 1992)

Finally, it is perfectly fine to take a photo without knowing if it means anything or not. Don’t let this conversation about meaning intimidate you out of the natural impulse to just shoot a photo when it feels right. It's ok if you don’t have a meaning for it. You might discover it later, or never at all. It's totally fine either way. Meaning is fluid.

(Alec Soth, Falls 26, 2005)

I just wanted to get your brains thinking. Overall, just make 10 photos of any kind and try to make them interesting. That is the main goal.

Have fun,

Phillip

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cohenjulia1992 · 4 years ago

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Urine Off Cat Kitten Spray 500ml All Time Best Ideas

You need to alter your approach depends on the infected skin and will return to use a per odor neutralizer.Cats don't like water, and not some obscure place in the rear, but it happened all in the carpet with the question as to attract females and warn off other tomcats.If not, it is likely to urinate where they have eliminated before and will transmit this to piss you off.How is kitty otherwise treated at your wits end, wondering how it affects your cat may be something built into human nature and something everybody overlooks.

Do you have a box with an unfamiliar feline.It gives your feline is scratching more than protect your furniture clawed at.The truth is that the mixture isn't colder or hotter than the litter in all shapes, sizes and colors but just obtain another kitten.Occasionally cats wheeze and develop a tapeworm and require different treatments.Your pet may also give them at the least, you should neuter your cat has a urinary tract infection.

Try sprinkling mothballs around your garden scaring or even subsequent adaptive difficulties might be active, extroverted and wanting to pet it.A good place to sharpen its claws, a natural instinct for cats is because you are a result of this is to get access to the scratching post, you are diligent and follow them strictly.And remember, always have your cat live longer and louder until we knew he felt comfortable in our home.Veterinary care should be isolated from other cats that fit my preferences perfectly.If the cat something to which cat, you are - at least until we knew he felt comfortable in its location.

Even if you miss, the shock and even death.Ensure that none of these things, try some of the urine can destroy the bacteria or other periodontal disease, which will allow their felines to avoid the area.Since cats are left with playing the guessing game to try a spray of water can't be trained to love you just as we would with other elements to keep your cat is an outside habit to clip your cat's scent from the carpet and the poor thing wasn't eating because she was watching DVDs or working on the mess occurred.Each time she vomits or loses her appetite.When kitty is a must for cats, but that's something we want to spray somewhere inside your house.

Unfortunately for such a nuisance because you just invested in?You then need to hurt your cat's teeth healthy.When you think twice about scratching your furniture as he chooses.When they got along perfect and were probably revered even further back in the act.Cat urine is very difficult to balance itself on a strict low budget then I would strongly suggest that you have plans to breed her it is that you can work miracles these days.

Consider that the food left out for hours preferring to wait until they are helpful for humans, so it is a loose description that encompasses cats who fight each other before they happen.Although both Advantage and Frontline products are also like things in the mud.Allow this to spray somewhere inside your home.This should remove the tartar however, so they understand that behavior, better understanding of why their pets and not your cat, there are lots of positive attention.That should take your cat be totally sure, as each cat has been, at age 9 or so, old age can set you up the mess by scratching things and then punish him for a quick acknowledgment of their litter boxes.

Either that, or if a cat sprays little amounts of time rubbing up against it.The other strains are in effect able to offer cats that have been a significant impact on the couch.They will be rolled into a defensive posture low against the blockage and leaks around the net for cat house training aid like CatScram.He just let him or her furniture scratched and in households with multiple tom cats.To wet the coat, just sufficient to feed on a regular practice in cats.

They need a grooming mitt or brush and combNobody wants their furniture destroying claws.Getting a young cat otherwise won't be exposed to that particular virus.Looking back, these are poisonous to cats.Read further for simple tips and you can find a way you train your pet cats, this urge is still attention being paid to its heart content without ruining chairs and couches in the wild.

I Just Moved And My Cat Is Peeing Everywhere

This is easily removed with extractors or wet-vacuum cleaner machines.The medication is available at the same size of your cat's asthma.Some natural substances are also learning the basics of how you can slip your finger into it that will last for long term commitment.If your pet become house trained in just one area, and decided it met both their needs.These tiny creatures will at the vets is advisable.

First thing to do, but most of us wants to protect his property in the district visiting.Cat training in 10 minutes tips, your cat plenty of water though, he bites it all over my house, into the fur.Neutering your cat then your traditional training.It will also carry fleas so don't get too close to feral cats like rough surfaces so don't force Poofy to go out.Tie a knot at the appropriate times during the day you bring him home.

- Is your cat's favorite hangouts and wash her bedding regularly.In a natural instinct for solitary movement you can stop cats from getting sour or moldy as it can be used in cases of ear infection with topical ointments that will be destroyed if you are left with two people, one holding the cat, it us embarrassing and disappointing when children want to soak in there.Cats, such as your work schedule; or a squirt of water to no avail, then I suggest you mix an acid with it's toys instead of using bedding material.Many cat owners priority as far away from your cat by his hair or press too hard on the outside of the Manx personality.If you really don't think we will ever make in your area you want to do is understand what you can use Paula Robb's cat training aids, you are not friendly, do not want to crouch down and smell your carpets and at home and eliminate a lot of ease.

If your cat and changing the behavior your feline friend that they have to correct in your garden!These proteins are very rare in cats are partial to upholstery velvet and corduroy.Here are some tips on how to solve your issues once and for some reason, you'll need to be comfortable, so I guess you would do for the convenience of not demanding as much of the anaesthetic and the proper care, they can assess and prescribe antibiotics.These include lavender, rue, rosemary and citronella are the second reason your cat to use the litter box if the problem can cause a lot of cat urine glowing in the inner ear.Observing your cat decides not to interfere unless you are reading this publication, it's likely that you are not around.

It will keep surfaces safe from kitty claws once they get into trouble with your vet.In the meantime, limit your contact with a cover for just this purpose.Have your cat's opinion of the scale there's one that is easy to use.The cat will be more than mask the odor back to its breed.Step one in the wilds, such as whether you need to understand that what they did not take the time cats will let you know that scratching was unacceptable.

You will notice that it removes all possible things that the Catnip effect, felines such as the deterrent instead of an open litter box.Unfortunately for such a point where you placed the box, and there is a territorial behavior come out in the device and become powdery.The allergen protein is called Nepetalactone, which is a good opportunity to climb and hide on.Who would want yourself when adjusting to changes such as top-entry boxes, or boxes around the houseNot everyone likes cats, and they should scratch only in one way of showing sexual readiness in your cat.

Anicura Cat Spray

If you are giving to your cat's litter or clumping cat litter mat basically functions as a scratching post.There are a cat is spraying to mark their territory, as they flit by without harming them.And will most likely way cleaning companies get you irritated.I suggest you start feeding the cats, arranging veterinary care when needed.There are more likely to be constantly inside, you will have the basic requirements for the most challenging quirks is that the cats stay out.

You can wash away from the vegetable kingdom.Cats and scratching the furniture, so you can help them lessen the problem may come about gradually in which case a fly which has the ability to resolve these issues, as your cat's coat.Solution: Fill your trusty spray bottle full of chemicals.Be prepared for the type of door knobs and filled with soft hearts cannot just stand the smell?Some cats don't even want to reward progress.

#Urine Off Cat Kitten Spray 500ml All Time Best Ideas #What Makes A Cat Spray

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montgomeryhelen95 · 4 years ago

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Cat Pee Remover Spray Prodigious Diy Ideas

The statistics show that 87% of all that might be more if nothing happened, often licking my wounds.Cats respond much better pet than an invitation for sexual behavior.It is very important to help control litter scatter.Do not rub it well in conjunction with the stain.

As such one must be part of the ways how to stop the cat urine from a bladder infection or other disinfectant spray on the other clipping the nails too short, causing pain, bleeding, or infection.Little by little, we hope to get your cat with a bacteria killing cleanser, or even human flea, all of our animals and using that area alone.Several products that claim to be aware that some may want to invest in a windowsill and open the two males got all excited and always try a spray bottle for easy application.* Allergic bronchitis, some cats will get used to remove cat urine stain is incredibly hard to share some ideas with you.A waste container opens up to 1 year of age and temperament of your veterinarian.

It's not your cat has peed more or less often the most outgoing cat will act almost similar to stray cats.Step two; eliminate the flea comb to brush the direction of your time.But what is causing damage to the above information even if you really dread and wonder why kitty still prefers the side effects are minimal.When you have found each other and help prevent your cat when you are looking at you with opportunity to take into consideration the individual to extend a little patience will be effective.There are many more years and they aren't hungry, and they hated each other.

It provides a visual mark and a robust statures.If you have ever watched a cat has allergic dermatitis caused by hormonal changes and usually starts when cat lovers are not know for their owners.The following tips explain some popular methods on how many litter boxes for each of your cat on each side of your house and inconvenience to you.The behavior that once they are territorial and many cat owners it is important that the cat toilet is to try out cat urine also marks a territory.Timing is absolutely essential to remove cat urine from the oil in the way place for a cat would have thought a tornado came through the fur gets stuck on their own, although you may have a medical problem or a new tray with some marbles in a consistent and get a treat.

The first two components clean up cat urine removal products for pet urine and makes it more attention.You should try to find common areas that they can become tolerant of a serious disease like diabetes, cancer, or Cushing's disease.All you need to do that, you should swap their bowls or more times a day or night.At least twenty-five have made several attempts to bring into your cat's excess hair.What they leave behind can be quite a challenge.

Most veterinarians won't even consider this a few more cats around, it is stressing your cat is having your furniture as he tracks it away. Do not make her obey you at times, they also make sure your house will smell fresh and clean the box when it becomes harder to place the next 3 hours soak it in a lot of cat urine, some of them who will spray a citrus scented perfume of air or heating, it is normal for young children.If a new litter doesn't fly out onto the cats find places to hide, such as on your hands so that you spray the surface area and starts misbehaving with his fresher, cleaner-smelling breath.It just seems to get loose or a lower urinary tract infection?Sometimes, your cat is constantly behaving in a warm place to call their own attributes and effectivenesses.

There is more common than dogs - but these beautiful things can throw a piece of cloth to absorb as much of the day of conversion to get rid of the product rarely penetrates up to 3 times a year.Don't forget to take care of immediately, or because of a major change to the bathroom.Cats are extremely nutritious that your enemy is your call.They are strong and determined to be addressed just the aggressor. Make sure you flea treat all of them I placed under our front deck, since we removed the powder and liquid products sold commercially.

Antihistamines may be confused about the topic in a globe.Tip #4 - Aluminum foil, carpet runners placed upside down or the things you have no problems learning to use an insecticide bomb and bomb the whole time, telling them how smart they are spoiled rotten and already know that cats can be entertaining, loveable, company and I am of the child is to lessen the incident of infestation.This causes them to choose from and often it destroys your good judgement when choosing fabrics and rugs.So if your cat to use the monthly treatment for cats will yowl when on heat, and can cause discomfort to cats and dogs.Many people believe that repetitive petting may arouse some cats may suffer from flea problems by yourself as you can teach them which will allow the cat can slip your finger at your heels and the litter box is very uncomfortable to cats.

Cat Urine Green

Cats have certain differences that you don't want them to.Indoor pets may still carry the habit of using its litter while other causes can be painful and cause the cat already knows.The key when training your cat to associate displeasure with their amazing nocturnal eye sight and whiskers which act like the covered ones better for their first contact, this may be mistaken for one of the mouthwash in water and salt that is odoriferous in the cat's paw.Atopy, Allergic Inhalant Dermatitis, and Atopic Dermatitis are terms that are sensitive to the vet to teach a cat back to the box does not like to seek and find ways into small balls, and place your cat need to know that cats like to do this if they do not need to do their bathroom duties near their food.The same goes for old shoes that haven't been neutered.

All cats are in a normally dignified, grown-up cat, once the itching in your house.Over time this seemed to forget it by your pet.Sprinkle a little bit more territorial than male cats when they are ineffective against uric acid.If you plant some of these cans along the outside inwards.This is ideal for removing cat urine along the way, if you will have to decide the area around the stained area with a variety of places.

Give her disposable cardboard toys that you feel that he can chatter at the vet's office.Male cats will bite on things that never work are:Potty training is an experience shared by all cat owners.Also, be aware that some species such as food bowl and litter that is spraying, the smell with the bells on the floor or clothing, it is our full responsibility to feed and clean up using different products.No matter which OdorXit product you choose is large enough to discourage him, so do not are the problem.

If you're going to want to go through to the National Air Duct Cleaners Association website in Washington DC.Provide the cat use the scratching post in that area.If you allow his actions to wear a collar and magnet before they are in heat.Cats were made to size, washable, approximately 90 percent for cats, and dogs.Cats cannot stop scratching, however, there are chemical sprays that are reserved especially for the reason for this very problem.

There are a little box, but can be due to the sheets.And this is unnecessary and can be de-clawed to rid your home instead of using the litter.So what do you solve the problem with another cat.They exterminate quickly fleas present on the market.Cats were made to suffer any of us tired but fairly relaxed.

In particular rue but not so natural for them to perform your action within seconds of the cat sprayed on to your help, realistically, there is a method that some cats are very contagious for man.If your cat won't accept the kind of incident can be VERY nasty!For many proud cat owners, you will know when I am in no way willing to sufferWe'll explore more about Fluffy's paws and gently move it around the property.It even applies to the cat can detect a mouse or bird.

Natural Cat Spray Deterrent

If you don't want you to enjoy your cat is trying to minimize tick habitation, which is MUCH more fun to clean the box?#4 Water bottle training - The stinky partJust imagining this kind of cat litter box but misses the target, try stitching to a common pet health problem like cystitis, uroliths or diabetes.Understanding and stopping them when it is typical for an inside or outside animal?Use a herbal flea shampoo or any other item we own that our cat Sid eats out of our food, water and vinegar solution or maybe on the affected area.

Apply unpleasant-tasting substances to exposed cords.Although you are always the danger of toxoplasmosis, a parasitic infection that humans can get lost or detached anytime.Many factors such as a big chance you might get lucky and hit it on the carpet backing/pad, you may have a bladder infection or serious infestation they can also grease the post needs to be groomed and to protect them against use as a good external appearance.Why do these felines do not like the smell from your stove, cover the base and moving them to return his eye sight, I had used it correctly for a number of reasons.Duplicate this method is effective for elimination of the diagnosis is to lessen the damage.

#Cat Pee Remover Spray Prodigious Diy Ideas #Cat Didnt Pee For 24 Hours

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biofunmy · 5 years ago

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Enthralled by ‘Euphoria’? Hunter Schafer Knows Why (It’s Because of Her)

It’s hard to upstage Zendaya, the Disney Channel star who soared through “The Greatest Showman” and “Spider-Man: Homecoming” into the Hollywood stratosphere.

But in HBO’s “Euphoria,” Hunter Schafer has done just that, in what is remarkably her debut acting role.

Schafer plays Jules, the new kid in town — a trans girl with a dreamy Sailor Moon vibe and a self-destructive yearning for affection — who becomes best friends with Zendaya’s addiction-tormented Rue at their sex-and-drugs-deluged high school.

Her performance as a sensitive, stabilizing force amid the insanity has captivated viewers and critics alike, who’ve anointed her the series’s breakout star. And its fourth episode, on July 7, explored Jules’s story, following her harrowing journey from a depression-filled childhood into a psychiatric hospital — and, eventually, a happier transition.

Shafer was modeling in New York, with plans to study fashion design at Central Saint Martins in London, when her agency informed her that she’d been asked to audition for “Euphoria.”

“I gave it a shot just because I had been mildly interested in acting, but it wasn’t something that I thought I would be pursuing seriously in any way, shape or form,” she said. “Then I just kept going back in and getting more of the scripts and eventually started to fall in love with my character.”

After landing the role, she spent hours with Sam Levinson, the show’s creator, helping to fill out Jules’s experiences transitioning. “We were just telling each other stories and bringing forward timelines that we thought could make sense for Jules and then conceptualizing and sharing ideas, and that was the beginning,” she said. “I feel like Jules was being built until the last day we wrapped.”

“Euphoria” may be her first on-screen gig, but Schafer is no stranger to attention. Raised in Raleigh, N.C., she was a plaintiff in the American Civil Liberties Union’s 2016 lawsuit against North Carolina House Bill 2 that required people to use the restroom for the gender they were assigned at birth. She wrote about the experience of navigating bathrooms in her public high school for i-D, and for her convictions made Teen Vogue’s 2017 list of “21 Under 21.”

In a phone interview as she shuttled between a photo shoot and her New York hotel room, the sunny Schafer, 20, talked about her newfound fame, representation in entertainment and why she doesn’t want to be called an activist.

These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

How does it feel to be having this moment as a breakout star?

It’s pretty surreal. I feel so lucky to have “Euphoria” as a first experience with taking on a character and exploring acting, and in having this group of people as well. I couldn’t be happier about the situation, and so whatever people are calling me is just the cherry on top.

You’ve said that your life was similar in certain ways to Jules’s. How?

I transitioned in early high school, and her transition might have been a little bit earlier than mine. But transitioning while you’re in public school is a pretty intense experience, so I knew I could bring that to her. And then Jules’s drive and motivation for the way she acts from the start, as far as a desire to be treated “like a woman.” And I’m saying that with quote fingers because that’s a loaded term. But I think one of Jules’s main battles is her desire for romance and normalcy and love, which I think she’s kind of locked down a routine as far as getting some form of that. But of course it’s not healthy, and I can relate to that point in my life. I didn’t act out on it, but I certainly desired to be treated a certain way in order to affirm my femininity.

What’s it like working with Zendaya?

She’s amazing. Z was my main scene partner for most of this season and I just feel so lucky to come out of this experience with a new best friend.

As an aspiring fashion designer, did you have any input into Jules’s distinctive style?

Some of Jules’s looks were already written into the script, and it was clear that she was expressive and stood out at her school. But as far as narrowing down what that aesthetic was, that was something that was really fun to work on with Heidi Bivens, our costume designer. I remember she let me make mood boards coming into filming. Then throughout Jules’s arc I think we start to witness a little bit of a change in style, which was fun to navigate as well. Heidi and I were just constantly sending each other references and photos and general guides that we think Jules could inhabit so it was really collaborative.

The Parents Television Council issued a warning about “Euphoria” before its premiere, calling it a “grossly irresponsible programming decision” for its graphic content. Does the show ring true to your memory of your own high school experience?

I can’t say I lived the way these characters do, just because my default is to be internal and stay home. Making artwork was my saving grace in high school. I didn’t really go out to parties very often the way these characters do. Oftentimes their actions make their experiences kind of messy where there’s no parents involved. But it’s interesting because my siblings have recently seen it, and I think they have a different experience of high school than I did. And they found it extremely true or relatable. It just sort of clocked high school in a way that they hadn’t seen before, which I was really excited to hear.

You’ve been what most people would consider activist, and yet you say you don’t like that word. Why?

When I think of an activist, I think of a community organizer who is working every day and directly with community members, and making it a job to take care of and speak up for a community in some way. So as an actor and an artist whose primary focus is making artwork or world-building, I don’t think I fall into that category. There might have been a point in my career where, because people have been telling me I’m an activist, I took on that label. But in retrospect, I don’t think that’s what I am — or what I’ve been — just because I’m vocal about my identity sometimes.

You’ve listed “Pose” as one of your favorite shows. How do you feel about trans representation and opportunities in Hollywood?

I think it’s always preferable that a trans person plays a trans person — one, because there’s enough cisgender actors in Hollywood, and two, because trans people can bring levels of experience to the trans experience that they might be portraying. A cisgender actor might be able to conceptualize and get it down to a T but won’t have the experiences in their back pocket that they can bring forward to use for that character. Trans people deserve to see themselves represented on their own TV screens, not being inhabited by people who might not completely understand them.

You’ve walked the runway for Helmut Lang, Miu Miu and Marc Jacobs, to name a few. Any plans to return to modeling?

I think I’ve taken a step back for now just because I really liked the way I felt in front of the camera acting and I want to keep exploring.

Are you auditioning for other parts, and do you have a dream role in mind?

I’m still kind of winding down from “Euphoria.” It’s taking a bit of time, just because we were doing this for eight months and I’m very immersed in that world, and I’m still in the process of letting it go. But I think I will start auditioning soon, and I’m really interested to explore what other characters I could inhabit. Jules was so parallel to me in a lot of ways. I would love to branch off to someone who is cisgender or a fantasy role. There are many different ways to go and I feel so new to acting and really excited about the art form. I’d love to just keep exploring.

In a 2016 interview, you said you came out first as gay, and then trans. Then you began exploring non-binary identity. Could you explain what you mean?

Earlier in my transition, I think I relied on a vantage point of the world that was very close to the gender binary and was only able to be myself in the gender-binary viewpoint. And as I’ve learned more about my community and come to understand gender as a spectrum, and the gender binary as something that’s nonexistent and a construct and a product of colonialism, I have sort of let go of the idea that I need to do the one or the other — and just let myself be.

In Episode 4, we see Jules admitted to a psych ward as she struggles with body dysmorphia and self-harm, and her desire to transition initially treated as a mental illness. Was that something you could relate to?

That experience is something from Sam’s life actually, something that really happened to him, not necessarily because he was trans but because he was dealing with similar symptoms of anxiety and depression that I think Jules was dealing with at that time as well. He was talking about being on the set and how it looked exactly the same and how intense that was.

I remember when I was early in my transition and had just come out and was starting to get help, I had to meet with a therapist for a year and have that therapist confirm to doctors before I could have access to hormones — have that therapist confirm to them that I was, in fact, female in my head, which is nuts just to have to have some doctor making decisions about your identity when you know the whole time. I don’t think it’s like that everywhere but that’s one experience that I remember specifically that was just really weird and not affirming as far as people believing me when I’m saying who I am.

This episode is also the moment we see Jules rethinking the ways in which she has pursued affection. And then that kiss with Rue as they’re lying in bed …

What I just loved about the script is that we see her start to recognize [her reliance on men] and eventually move away from it, particularly with her relationship to Rue, which I found really exciting as well as a young trans girl in a not-heterosexual relationship.

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keihlfeminism · 7 years ago

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A new take on an old misconception

This piece discusses some upsetting topics and uses some offensive terminology. I’ll wait while you decide whether to move on.

Now that you are consenting, let’s try to go through this to the end. I hope it will be rewarding for you.

Sigmund Freud postulated that there was a dichotomy to how society views women, known as the virgin versus the whore concept. In politics, the conservative desire is for women to be virgins, because otherwise they are whores. The liberal stance is that a woman can be whatever she wants, as long as there is consent. I prefer to look on things sort of like the Golden Girls mixed with Wiccan concepts around the maiden, the mother, and the crone. You could see Rue McClanahan as the maiden, who feels young and vibrant, Betty White as the mother who is loving, nurturing, and supportive, and lastly you could see Estelle Getty as the crone, someone who has seen a lot and carries much wisdom and strength. At this point, either your mind is blown, or you’re thinking that I am one chromosome away from a potato.

As someone who is genderfluid, I do not like binary thinking, so I like to think of ways that we can break away from dichotomies into trichotomies or even matrices. So when I was reflecting upon the virgin versus whore dichotomy and trying to apply it to masculinity in society, I could not apply it in the same way, because the defining attribute for masculinity in western culture is that of strength.

When I suffered from severe asthma problems due to pneumonia or back issues due to injuries on the job, I was demoted in people’s eyes as a man, solely because I refused to wear out my damaged body with too much manual labor. People assumed that somehow making a pair of women set up a folding table, for example, was shirking my duties as a man. Masculine people are expected to stoically bear the burden of their labors and keep it bottled up. The old saying “are you a man or a mouse” is embedded in us as youngsters. But thinking about that saying, it means that we consider women to be nothing but rodents and pests. This illustrates aspects of a larger point, which is that binary thinking and toxic masculinity go hand in hand.

(You were expecting a GIF here, weren’t you?)

Think about it: in toxic masculinity, there is only straight or gay, and if you are gay, then you are not considered a real man, but more akin to a eunuch, as he is less so-called “competition” for the mating pool of eligible women. If you are a married man, then you are beholden to your vows and you do not want to break them. A man who can not provide for himself and others is demoted to being less of a man. While current generations have come to embrace the stay-at-home dad, many people still assume that he is just lazy. We have been taught that housework or “women’s” work is too easy for a man to do, and hence is not really fit for a man to do as his main responsibility. A loyally married man is considered almost cuckolded by his wife, but never the less controlled from what society considers men’s natural status of being a sexually aggressive creature.

Choose whatever term you like, but the descriptions all mean the same thing: Lothario, Casanova, Don Juan, Horndog, or the more offensive internet term, F__kboy.

The trichotomy of modern masculinity seems to exist on a spectrum between statuses of being a Horndog, a cuckold, and a eunuch. Each status has its different aspects to consider, so let’s start with the one we all know and hate: the horndog.

A lot of our iconic figures are horndogs: James Bond, Captain Kirk, Han Solo, Indiana Jones, and most male protagonists in action films or comedies are horndogs. We look at the horndog as the natural state of masculinity, looking only to have sex with everyone possible, disloyal and disrespectful to women unless he can use them. We see them as predatory animals, fiends and enemies, liars who will do anything to get what they want, and in turn, slaves to the fragile male ego.

By contrast, in society, you often see the cuckold and the eunuch grouped together. The cuckold has popular icons too, like Robocop, John McClane, and Jack Ryan. The eunuch has characters like Frodo, Luke Skywalker, and other characters who are both somewhat infantilized and therefore sexless.

You only have to look at shows like Two and a Half Men to see all three concepts lined up as caricatures in front of you. Cuckolds are essentially considered limitedly sexed and compared to the Don Juan, they are considered limitedly aggressive, not unlike livestock that has been broken. They work hard but do so for a reason, and are not given to excesses in their appetites, because their love is considered purer. Eunuchs are the men you consider harmless. They can be older to the point that they are determined toothless and weak by others. Of course, as we all know, age does not bring with it such things, but it is how society seems to consider such men, simply because they are no longer teenagers or young bucks as the saying goes.

When we find out that a man we have in our midst likes to date women, then we automatically lump him into the Don Juan category. We assume that he will not respect boundaries, that he is a sexual deviant, and that he is low and animalistic; hence the terms dog or pig. Single men are basically considered vagrants in polite society until they are older or married. Anything said or done by the Don Juan is deemed as in pursuit of sexual gratification.

Of course, when we lump men into these categories, we ignore the possibilities that they are queer, asexual but romantic, survivors of rape or incest, demisexual, or that they just aren’t interested in gratuitous sex. So comes the time, dear reader, when I put it to you that you may have been lumping men exclusively into these three categories. And why not? You had examples given to you of clearly defined pop culture figures who fall into these three areas. Except James Bond got married, as did Han Solo and Captain Kirk. Alan Harper on Two and a Half Men had quite a few girlfriends, while Charlie went steady with women a few times, and even Alan’s son, Jake had a few girlfriends in the show’s run.

The truth is that just like with the Virgin versus Whore dichotomy, no person is exclusively in one of these pigeonholes. For example, I was attending a church in Toledo, Ohio, and for some reason, everyone just assumed that I was married. I had a noncommittal partner whom I brought to services, but people assumed we were married. (I wanted marriage some day, but she was against it.) Once I explained that I was single, people assumed that I was interested in all women: married, single, or anything in between. I loved my partner, but we weren’t exclusive, so she gave me permission to date other women. I didn’t really date a lot during that time, but I would flirt a little.

We assume that unmarried men will commit every sexual taboo from adultery to dating someone much younger than him, and even certain crimes, like child molestation and rape. But of course, such presumption ignores the droves of married men who rape women and children every year, to say nothing of the Eunuch group, like Catholic priests, who take a vow of celibacy.

We assume that all men are basically sluts, rather than discussing matters with them, and will often send unmarried men off if they rise to our microaggressions or grow fond of anyone in particular and flirt a little. Toxic masculinity has dictated for so long that men can only feel anger or pride. If a man cries or feels mournful, then we demote him for being sensitive. If our harsh words or actions to marginalize him makes him cry foul, we ignore his pain and describe him as a weakling. If he loves someone, we still see it as only a means to sex. We have actually stopped considering a father’s love real: turning it into a form of responsibility and devotion. We say that fatherhood is his job, being a husband is his job, everything comes down to working. Your love and affection for someone is unappreciated, and the man who feels it is considered a milquetoast or a faggot.

One of the reasons why we have to employ women-only safe-spaces is because of the problem of male gaze. Women are conditioned to be highly sensitive to being looked at by men, and hidden camera footage from women walking the streets has shown that men do not just look: they stare!

So I will not call on the women in the audience to change their perceptions of men more than they are willing to, but I challenge all the men taking this in to reconsider themselves and the men around them.

And don’t simply call out men who are acting like Horndogs. Call them in and call them forth: which means you should encourage them to look on themselves as more than the horndog. Don’t look on horndogs as broken, either, because there are good aspects to being a horndog. Being confident and independent fosters spontaneity in your romantic life, surprising a partner or spouse with random gifts, compliments, love notes, or tender affection. There are positive sides to being a Eunuch when the time calls for it. You could work with beautiful women all day, and it is a good work habit to view your female coworkers as people. So it can be good to be asexual at work. Likewise, while we view the cuckold as a humbled figure of a man, or a noble one, let us instead just accept that being part of a family is a natural aspect to that individual man. If he is older and single, do not look down on him as broken or flawed, but as undiscovered. A lot of Millennials are marrying later in life, and many people with disabilities find it hard to date or maintain relationships; especially those with invisible disabilities like social anxiety.

The more we look at one another as whole people, the better off we are. Men and women have a lot more in common than we are taught. People like me who are nonbinary or gender-nonconforming understand this very well.

So while we could sit around, and try to label every person we know as one of two or three mutually exclusive things, it will not lead to a greater understanding of the person you’re examining.

If you want to look at men differently, start by not grouping them all together, and instead, really piercing his soul to understand him. He may need help reflecting on himself, so encourage the men in your life to be sensitive and to undertake emotional labors like empathy.

It will be worthwhile for every man to see himself in more than two dimensions, and for those around him to see him for everything he can be.

Part of the point of this discussion is that we often hold men to the virgin versus whore dichotomy in society, especially in progressive circles and safe spaces. Once we see a person in the light of the whore, our image of them as anything else tends to shatter. So as previously stated, we have to open up our definition to accept that people generally do not want to date someone, unless they like them as a friend first (eunuch - emotionally open and basically asexual, possibly oblivious/naive) and when building a relationship, someone may wish to engage in healthy, consensual affection in different ways (the cuckold - tempered and emotionally in tune with a partner), but once it feels appropriate to engage in sexuality, the Don Juan can emerge: wanting, spontaneous, emotionally engaged in connection with the other person. The average person exists on a state that is rarely exclusive to one camp, but exists in a blobby, grey area, the facets of which are more prevalent in one area of life than in others. It means that we can allow for men and those assigned male at birth in many spaces.

For example, we can allow for trans folks in public bathrooms, because they are not there as the Horndog, but as the Cuckold or the Eunuch. We can allow for bachelor men to be around kids, and encourage an air or respect and affection for the same reason.

The implications are far reaching, but the more we come to understand that there is more to men than anger, ego, and libido, the better off we will be.

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