#roxas took sora’s memories but xion’s heart dissolved into roxas’ like sutures

[kayzero]

I've been exhausted for three days straight so I don't think I can come up with any decent prompts atm but I'd love to know how you write Roxas! I'm compelled to say maybe something between kh2 and kh3? Despite the fact that during that he's y'know

Here’s a personal headcanon: Xion (and other Replicas) had the capacity to grow a heart like other Nobodies should be able to do. Her process was slowed by her function, to absorb Sora’s memories and eventually become a clone of him, and eventually halted altogether as the intake flow increased to an uncontrollable speed.

But the process did start.

As Roxas sank into Sora’s heart and fully disappeared from the outside world, he allowed his (plastic, fake, liar) smile to fall into a frown. Of course he wasn’t content to just fade away for the sake of someone else’s life — even if that someone else was instrumental in dismantling the Organization and saving an untold number of worlds.

Not that he was bitter enough to blame Sora. He didn’t ask to have his heart ripped out, he didn’t know that in order for him to be whole, someone else would have to be sacrificed. Roxas has the feeling that if Sora had known, if the cost of becoming whole was someone else’s life, he would still be walking around with a broken heart.

No, if anything, Roxas blames Riku. Riku, who had turned to the darkness in the first place. Riku, who had let himself get possessed and tore out Sora’s heart. Riku, who resorted to turning back to that source of power, resorted to soaking himself in darkness, in Ansem’s power, just to get the upper hand in a single fight at the cost of his very self!

Riku, who had the privilege of a heart, had the privilege of a self, and threw it all away.

Had the choice to throw it all away.

And then! And then! He gets it all back in a freak fucking accident! Like he didn’t have to sacrifice anything when Roxas had to give up everything! His self, completely irrelevant! His heart, crammed into Sora’s! His friends, dead for Sora’s sake!

He wasn’t bitter enough to blame Sora, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t part of the problem.

…Friends?

Come to think of it, when did he form a self? When had he grown a heart?

Roxas, now sat on the edge of Sora’s stained-glass heart, tries to think.

He remembers…

He remembers being overwhelmed. He was angry at Axel, who was hiding information from him. Who was lying to him. He was afraid of Saix, who barred him from leaving. He was hurt, and exhausted, and victorious, forcing Saix to the side and dragging himself out of the castle.

And then…

He was furious, running through the streets of the Organization’s undercity, tearing through endless numbers of Shadows and Neoshadows. Disbelieving of an unknown who wasn’t unknown, who tried to stop him from trying to free Kingdom Hearts. Shocked by a stranger who was his best friend in another life as he tried to use memories that weren’t his to convince him to give up.

Victorious again. Until he wasn’t.

But…

He wasn’t hurt when he fought Riku.

Think harder.

He was overwhelmed, but by information, not emotion. He was indignant, because that was the proper response. His anger, his fear, his satisfaction, they all felt distant, shallow.

But his rage, his fury toward Xemnas, and then Riku, it was potent and volatile. He relished tearing through Heartless on his way to the castle. His disgust when Riku caught his Keyblade left him nauseous, his shock when Riku got back up left him breathless.

There was a… divide. Something in between. A day, maybe two.

He… dragged himself through a corridor to Twilight Town, bought hi-potions and hi-ethers from a moogle, but not elixirs, because they made him nauseous and dizzy and left him achy after they healed him in a way that potions didn’t. He hid in the train station, in a supply closet that held specific tools and chemicals — too far away for the janitors to bother with, Demyx had told him, a perfect place to hide out and pretend that work took way longer than it actually did.

And then…

Come on. Think.

He brought himself to the top of the clock tower. He stared at the sunset.

He fought on a magical platform that rose and rose until it reached the heavens, that twisted and became other worlds.

Xion.

He had forgotten Xion.

Xion, his best friend. Xion, who was kind and understanding. Xion, who learned from Roxas, and who Roxas learned from in turn. Xion, who fled from the Organization, fearing her self, fearing becoming someone else. Xion, whose fears came true, who begged Roxas to fight her, to kill her, so she could die as Xion rather than live as Sora.

Xion, who was never meant to be remembered.

As if he could forget such an important piece of his heart.

Even if no one else ever did, he would always remember Xion.