#rowling bashing

[mapletart]

Prefect Ron

One of the things that I almost never see Ron fans complain about as much as I think they could is the whole Prefect subplot that he has in OoTP. Cause pretty much, when Prefect letters come out before the start of the school year, legit EVERYONE is shocked when Ron gets the badge instead of Harry. It’s honestly a really interesting scene character-wise because NO ONE comes out of the situation looking good. The twins literally say the words “we thought that it would’ve been Harry,” and Molly takes a full page before she’s even able to comprehend that Ron has actually been singled out for having done something good. Even Hermione, who had been ecstatic when she thought that it was Harry who had got the letter, then has to do a bunch of backtracking and stuttering when she realizes that no, her fellow Gryffindor Prefect will in fact be Ron. It’s a really telling moment for Harry’s character as well, since it’s pretty much the only time when he gets a taste of Ron’s side of things. He’s jealous of his best friend for essentially the first time ever, and really struggles with how he feels about Ron “besting” him. 

It’s honestly one of my favorite moments in the whole series, not only because it features something good happening for Ron, (not to mention that this is one of the only occasions outside of Philosopher’s Stone where Dumbledore formally acknowledges Ron’s badass-ery), but because it makes clear that there are other measures of bravery besides just *being Harry Potter*, a fact which can sometimes get a little lost in the kerfuffle of everything.

But then at the end of OoTP, R*wling just goes LMAO FUCK ALL OF THAT DEEP INTROSPECTION AND MEANING, because it turns out that in actuality, the only reason that Ron was made a Prefect was because Dumbledore thought that Harry “had enough on his plate already” and didn’t want to give him any more pressure. So Harry really was the worthier Gryffindor all along and had no reason to be jealous because obviously Ron is stupid and incompetent and can never once be better in anything.

Um...Excuse me, Joanne? WHY DID YOU RUIN THAT ABSOLUTELY PERFECT SCENE WITH SOME HALF-ASSED BULLSHIT????????

Ron Weasley deserved better.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Most people, when meeting someone new and trying to figure out their morals:

What's your political party?

How do you feel about gay marriage?

Are you religious?

Are you an animal person?

Me, when meeting someone new and trying to figure out their morals:

How do you feel about Dumbledore?

Do you think JRK is a terf?

Have you read all the Harry Potter books?

What is your favorite Taylor Swift song?

Explain your feelings about Taylor Swift.

As a follow-up, explain why we hate Kanye.

[lintwriting]

the logic of bashing fics

I love the parallels between a certain type of character. Tell me if you've seen them before.

Ostensibly “noble” adults generously helping orphan protagonists. For such generosity, they get the orphan's undying loyalty. Within the story, these adults are portrayed as good, or at least ambiguous in morality. Never explicitly evil, as often we're hearing from the perspective of the kids they save--who worship them -- and not from the fellow adults around them. Or, if we do, those adults who DO badmouth them have ulterior motives that muddy the waters.

And, yet... The cracks are there.

For an example: DUMBLEDORE.

With Dumbledore, the cracks are unintentional. The casualty of being in a genre where you need young kids getting into dangerous action without adults getting in the way. What you get is this strategic figure who neglects him to the point of abuse and views Harry's life as his sacrificial pawn in war, where death "is the next great adventure," but this is all painted as a Christ-like sacrifice rather than a disturbing one.

Oh sure, the characters are horrified by Harry's death and abuse, but not to the point of ever questioning Dumbledore's character over it, nor does the audience. In many ways, Dumbledore has groomed Harry into his role as sacrificial lamb, but it's justified within the narrative to us and the characters.

This leads one of my favorite phenomena: people getting unreasonably mad at genre conventions.

For instance, your average action media featuring teenagers will have them putting their lives in danger, and, thus, will create excuses for why adults aren't there to stop them. Your casual viewer will accept these shallow excuses for what they are-- a plot device without much thought put into it. It's a mundane part of their suspension of disbelief, so they can watch magical teenagers fighting monsters. They don't need much thought put into this because they understand that it's just the conceit of the show.

But sometimes it's a little fun to think deeper about the implications of these flimsy excuses. Listicle sites go viral off of these types of "Why Hogwarts Should Have Been Shut Down Years Ago" articles. It's nothing more than a fun little thought experiment to them, but it gets really funny to me when I stumble across people who get genuinely ANGRY and PETTY about this. Seething at the gall of "children's fantasy show writer #218" for writing such abusive parents and not even acknowledging it within the story! I mean, it kind of takes the lightheartedness out of "children fighting--the genre" if you acknowledge that parents shouldn’t be okay with their preteens being sent off to magic fighting, guys. Like high school American football, we gotta brush the danger to the kids under the rug to enjoy the show lol guys.

And who are these angry guys? They're the people who genuinely felt tricked when they realized that the excuses (that everybody else took as a farce at face value) don't make much sense.

Why? Because they bought in WITHOUT suspending their disbelief. Like when kids believe high school will be just as trope-y as their fanfics/TV shows until they get there! Because they were little kiddos too young to know when they first watched these shows that these tropes are unrealistic.

This famously applies to the Bible, where we need to see God as an all-good father in-universe, and therefore indoctrinate kids young and invent "faith" as a genre convention to avoid thinking too deeply about His actions. In reality though (out-of-universe" if you will), when you become an ex-Christian, you realize all the ways god acts as a textbook abusive parent (which you can find out more about on the channel, TheraminTrees), and you feel tricked and betrayed by the religion that you taught you to "think" (read: faith) otherwise.

This especially affects media targeted at an audience that “grows up” with the work, such as Manga or YA book series. So if you’re an adult reading Harry Potter or My Hero Academia whatever magic teen fighting book for the first time, you’re going to write that kind of stuff off as the genre conventions and tropes.

But if you’re a kid, you’re going to take these tropes at face value. And then, when you grow up, you suddenly start realizing that this media you’ve been idolizing is actually not as thought out as you imagined it to be as a kid

You’re in that edgey phase where you realize the nuances of what’s wrong with the world and are searching for media to reflect that (which isn’t exactly a priority for the magic teens fighting genre). You’re going to be disappointed and betrayed and frustrated

And itching for an outlet for all that anger—

And thus, many a meta and Dumbledore bashing fics were born.

read more here: bashing and deconstructionxt

[midmaysunray]

Nothing man, was just randomly scrolling through book my show app and noticed that the PVR’s of Delhi are screening the entire Fantastic Beasts franchise at 4K IMAX, as well as Dune: Part 2 for the same and etc.

Man I wish I was rich.

[i-hate-liking-batman]

Hogwarts Volleyball AU

Okay so it might sound dumb, but I was getting back into the haikyuu fandom and I was just seeing some Hogwarts Kagehina aus. And they were super cute! But now that the manga is over it really cements for me just how important volleyball is for Hinata and Kageyama. And so I thought about it, and what if muggle Hinata comes to Hogwarts with his love of volleyball, and ends up dragging Quidditch star Kageyama with him. It's just so funny to me.

The Idea:

Kageyama likes Quidditch. He's good at Quidditch. But volleyball calls to him like nothing else ever has. Kageyama goes with Hinata to see an official volleyball match, and he's entranced. He sees the main game ball moving in ways that can't happen from only throwing on a broom. He sees the way each team can make plays without getting hindered, that only go south from lack of talent of the players. He sees a game locked on the ground but the potential endless. And Kageyama knows he needs to play.

When Hinata and Kageyama met, it was the second year of school. Hinata was a Slytherin and Kageyama was a Gryffindor. It was lunch, and Kageyama had run away from the people wanting to talk to 'the beater who made the team as a first year'. Quidditch was simple. People weren't. When he makes it outside, he sees a boy hitting a ball into the castle wall.

Kageyama can't seem to stop his words as he calls out. "That's not how you play Quidditch! Are you stupid?"

The boy turns around and grins so brightly he has to squint. "Who said anything about Quidditch?"

I don't actually have the time to write the whole thing out right now, so I'll give the general details I'm thinking.

Hinata has already started his volleyball love since before Hogarts, living as a muggle. He's determined to be the first wizard volleyball player.

Hinata likes flying on brooms, but quidditch doesn't inspire him the way the little giant does. Sometimes the things people accomplish without powers are just cooler.

Hinata doesn't care about any of his classes, though he always tries not to fail. He's gotten a reputation as a fake Slytherin because of it. He lacks the ambition he's supposed to have. Little do they know his ambition is volleyball.

Hinata has friends, but no one understands his love for volleyball. Even fellow muggles. To them, magic is everything. Hinata likes magic, but he would give it up in a heartbeat to play volleyball like the pros do.

It hurts when no one gets his passion, so Hinata often goes to practice on his own. He knows he needs to, or he'll never improve. He's still not sure how to get into a team, but he'll figure it out. Eventually.

When the famous second year sees Hinata practice and yells about Quidditch, Hinata decides to try one last time. To show someone volleyball, and all it can offer. Kageyama listens to his explanations but actually seems a little interested. Hinata can't let that go.

Kageyama is extremely curious about this 'volleyball' Hinata is so passionate about. He can't picture it at all, since he was a wizard his whole life. So when Hinata suggests going to the muggle studies teacher to see if there are any records of games, he agrees.

The game they watch is a national match between Japan and Argentina. It's quick. It's decisive. And it's the best thing that's ever happened to Kageyama. Hinata's explanations were terrible in comparison, but made all the more sense. There weren't any words to describe how he was feeling. And he turns to Hinata and demands to learn how to play.

Hinata knows they need to be an actually good volleyball team to actually get good. Wizards who just learnt volleyball aren't enough. Kageyama makes a plan.

Said plan gives them the means to join a school volleyball team for a trial year. If they reveal themselves or simply want to stop, the trial finishes. Hinata wonders how this all got pulled off, and Kageyama doesn't mention his family connections in high places.

Hinata and Kageyama love playing on a team. They aren't good enough to start, but training with people better than them was exhilarating. They train, and train some more. It's everything they hoped.

Kageyama gets so invested in volleyball he finds himself getting more emotional than he's used too. Frustration, elation, determination, defeat, they're all things he's felt before but never so much at a time. It makes him scarier to the public, since his neutral face now scowls in thought about his next volleyball play.

Kageyama's scary reputation is contrasted with his new best friend that never seems to leave his side. They bicker all the time but always sit next to each other at meals. The school was also interested in why Kageyama wasn't playing Quidditch anymore.

With his new grouchy face, rumor has it he didn't make it this year. (Kageyama did not bother trying out. He needed to focus on volleyball.)

Timeskip through all the hogwarts years where Kagehina rises and falls in rumors, from whether they're dating to their latest incident of trouble from one of their fights.

Kageyama and Hinata become the first wizard pro volleyball players. They're happy to be pros, and play until they can't anymore. It's only then where they return to the Wizarding world, to play Quidditch which is easier on the body. They take the world by storm.

In an interview someone asks why they took so long to start pllaying quidditch. They smile at each other and answer at the same time. "It wasn't volleyball. And that always comes first."

AND THATS THE FIC GUYS. IM NEVER WRITING IT BC I HAVE NO TIME. Feel free to use it for anything but please @ me so I can see what you made! Hope you enjoyed this super long post lol.

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Wow I can’t believe Neil Gaiman confirmed Dumbledore is gay

[cluelessuserwholives]

okay, dumbluedoor? love seeing all the fics bashing him. there a cool twist on the harry potter series written by she-who-must-not-be-named. BUT. everyone makes him seem like this super genius gaslighter and manipulator who planned everything to the last detail and had all these great plans revolving around keeping harry in check. and well this is great, I feel like fic writers are missing a great opportunity. Senile high-as-fuck dumbbluedoor.

The fucker has no idea what the fuck is going on at all times.

he's just fuckiing vibing well probably high on lemon drops or whateverr. fuck has no clue whats going on in hogwarts.

harry knows fuck all about the wizarding world? fuck it. send hagrid. the guy who prefers magical creatures over humans and flunked out of school because of that. he'll be fine.

the fancy orange rock is in the basement and harry found it? oh shit i forgot about that. thanks for reminding me about it. don't worry about the guy who's face you disintegrated he's probably fine- oh he's dead? sucks to be him.

the chamber of secrets is open? tf is the chamber of secrets? idk. figure it out yourselves i've got no clue- oh Tom came out of a diary? how'd he do that? oh a big snek was in the walls two?

surius black out of prison... why was he in prison? '...betraying the potter's....' wait that wasn't him. oh shitttttt.... I forgot to tell people that didn't i. well he's probably fine. harry's name in the goblet of fire? how'd that get their- oh tom's back from the dead. whoa. how'd he do that? anyways here harry lets go to the wizard court, you testify im gonna go take a shit-

ah yes, horcruxes. those things. that i know about. anyways harry have you heard of the power of a mother's love-

fuck you a bjillion points to griffdoor you fucking snakes-

[nightingale2004]

Things I would change in the world of Harry potter.

(I have a whole list, so buckle up)

First off, I would give more information about the wizarding world itself. We barely see the fashion, traditions, customs, and such (other than the malfoys being fashion icons) I want to see more of it. Know more about it

I feel like the ministry of magic will think they are in charge, but the real ones behind it would be whoever the original pureblood families either appoint or whoever steps up to the title of running things with the ministry. Like whoever the head(s) of whatever pureblood house that was put in charge says goes, and the ministry has to obey.

Definitely try to fit some information on the pureblood families, including the original pureblood families (I know there's only so much information to fit on the books, but the fans can't come up with everything J.k Rowling. WE CAN ONLY CREATE SO MUCH!!!!)

A magical wizard mailman/woman. If the Wizarding world is so worried about their world getting discovered by muggles, then maybe, just maybe....DON'T SEND A BUNCH OF FREAKING OWLS TO MUGGLE OR HALF BLOOD KIDS HOUSES WHERE EVERYONE WHO ISNT A WIZARD CAN SEE THEM!!

Having this mailman/woman explain what's happening to those who have no idea WHAT THE FRICK IS HAPPENING. AND WHY THERE CHILD IS LIKE THIS.

Glamour being created or some kind of mist similar to Percy jackson so that way whenever magic is being used in public. Normal muggles would see something different instead of magic being used or blasted out in the open

More history on magic and wizards and how they made their world.

More magical sports. We can't have just quidditch canwe?

Wands as just a way to control untrained children magic because, according to sources. Wizard and witch Magic as children is unpredictable and dangerous, so I'm thinking that wands would just be a way for children to focus and train their magic until they are ready to use wandless magic.

More information on the countless wizard schools around the world (why couldn't j.k Rowling pull a Rick Riordan and have people from different countries and states write their Wizarding schools so that way no one would be offended and they would be represented correctly)

Wizarding schools teaching children wandless magic. This class would be a must because as soon as these wizards lose their wand. It's games over if they don't get it back quickly, so yeah, this class IS a MUST!!!

Magic defense classes. And I'm not talking about defense against dark arts and spells and such. No, I'm talking about actual fighting hand to hand magic classes. Kind of like Dr. Strange. Cause these kids can not rely on their wands and a bunch of non magic punches in the face to save them. Teach them some basic hand to hand combat with and without magic, especially if their thinking about taking on an adventurous line of work with dangers on the way.

A fair Wizarding government that selects fair headmasters (Dumbledore should've never been headmaster given his track record, let's be honest)

A minor wizarding jail for small crimes like jaywalking and such and Azkaban being a last resort for the absolute worst crimes that anyone can commit.

Dementors are a bit on the extreme side, and they betrayed the wizarding world and killed (I think) a bunch of people who were ACTUALLY INNOCENT AND WENT TO THE DARK SIDE.

Different types of magic. And no, I'm not talking about potions, herbology, and defense against the dark arts. No, I'm talking about during the course of your education at whatever Wizarding school you go to, you find out what magic you have. Like mystic arts, rune magic, weapon magic, dark magic, chain magic, elemental magic, etc. That type of magic, and when you find out what magic you have, then you get to unlock a multitude of classes to help you master this type of magic and sharpen and strengthen your skills. (I'm feeling this, along with wandless classes, are a 3rd or 4th year thing)

Wizard money. Make it make sense.

Dark forbidden magic consequences. (Allow me to elaborate). So we saw what happened to Voldemort when one goes to the extreme for power and resorts to dark forbidden magic. But what about his followers? I think there should be a mark for those who start using forbidden magic that even glamor can't hide

I would legit want to see how people with disabilities would take on this world like blind or deaf, etc.

Technology. Get with the Times wizard world. Get with the times.

The Wizarding world needs to know more about the no-maj world. They are accepting half-bloods and muggles into their world. They have to know what's going on instead of hiding from them 24/7

More career paths that are similar to what we muggles have in the real world

Secret ministry of magic combat groups. The normal government has them. Why can't they? (they take care of dark forces outside the laws of the minstry)

Should witch hunters be a thing? Idk, just a thought

Wizarding schools actually being PREPARED FOR WEREWOLF CHILDREN TO ENTER THEIR SCHOOLS!!!!

The tr-wizard tournament not being so extreme. These are children in school, not adults people.

I want to know if there's a school that only accepted muggles and half-bloods. It's a must and I know there's one out there.

The Wizarding world using muggle things to make their life easier instead of using magic all the time.

Magic aura and energy acting as a shield.

More sources of transportation around the wizarding society.

Vampires. I want to know how they would be depicted (my best guess is that they would be aristocrats, but their magic is less powerful than wizards and witches)

I think that's everything. I will make a pt.2 if I have more.

Hope you enjoy

[solosolace]

Harry Potter fic

I wrote a Harry Potter Fic Just the prologue is up but i'm working on the first chapter-

slash fic, creature fic, mental health, no bashing

[isabelguerra]

because the thing, when you really get down to it, is that youve had this au for 8 years. and there’s very few things you can say that about. the time you spend on something like that is more than passing interest, when you have something for that long it’s a companion. maybe something that was there when you were completely alone. but the thing is, really, is that the end of the day, you look yourself in the mirror and find yourself faced with the reality that one of your biggest creative outlets is a fffffffffffffffucking . HARRY POTTER AU PAIRANATURAL FANFICTION . in TWENTY TWENTY THREE.

[vintage-bentley]

David Tennant is a perfect example of how gender ideologists are their own worst enemy. Repeatedly, it’s their own awful behaviour that turns people against them. Look at JK Rowling: it wasn’t just what she said that got people siding with her, it was the reaction from gender ideologists. If they had just brushed her off and ignored her, I don’t think she’d be as relevant in the debate as she is now.

So now we have Tennant, hailed as an amazing trans ally to the point that he wins an ally award for textbook performative allyship. And he decided to call gender critical feminists “little whinging f------” (no idea what the f word is, this is from the Telegraph), continuing with “who’re on the wrong side of history and they’ll all go away soon”.

Women who are simply concerned about our sex-based rights. About the protection of women as a class in law. About the ability to organise together without the presence of male people, which is crucial for class consciousness and therefore feminist progress. Lesbians who are being told we’re bigoted for not being attracted to males, and that we need to change (who I mention because lesbians have been very vocal in this debate for this reason).

This is a heterosexual male who is looking at these women, and deciding that our very real concerns are just “whinging”. Because of course he is, our concerns don’t affect him. Of course he claims we’ll “go away soon”, presumably because men like him will silence us. This is the same shit that was being said about the suffragettes. About the Me Too movement. About any kind of feminist movement. That we just need to shut up and go away.

And we’re supposed to believe that this typical male view of women is super progressive this time, because it’s in the name of trans activism?

Less and less people are willing to believe that. More are starting to see the misogyny and homophobia that fuels gender ideology, all because the people who advocate for it are always so quick to let it show.

They are always so quick to claim that their biggest enemies are feminists, and not the violent men that actually wish them harm. They are always so quick to attack women first and foremost.

And people are noticing. They noticed when JK Rowling started to speak up, and they’re noticing now that a male celebrity has gone on record voicing hatred for feminists in the name of gender ideology. They’ll notice again when the next celebrity either speaks up or bashes women.

I hope Tennant enjoys his shiny ally award, all while his actions are causing women to turn against him and his cause.

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Sooo something has been brought to my attention that immediately needs to be addressed.

The user @asmodeus-682 (can @ them freely since they've already blocked me and I cannot reach out to them) is throwing around accusations that I'm a pro-shipper of Solar x Moon, a ship that's grown in popularity amongst some members in the TSAMS community. And is bashing anyone and everyone associated with it.

Gonna come out and call bullshit.

Yes, I did like some art of it from accounts I follow because I thought what was happening in said art was cute. But...that doesn't mean I ship it???

It's also NOT INCEST?????

Since when does liking something equate to supporting something else???

People can like Harry Potter and hate JK Rowling at the same time, so idk what logic is being used here.

Do I think SolarMoon is cute? Yes.

Do I ship it? No, it's personally not my cup of tea. Kidscove still has my heart and soul.

I understand some are hesitant to approach it or are heavily against it because Solar was given the title of "cousin" by Earth and has been accepted into the family. I, as a moderator in the official TSBS Discord server, have been cautious to not let any discussions of SolarMoon transpire BECAUSE of this fact.

But y'all...

This is so dumb.

So unbelievably fucking dumb.

I'm mostly pissed because I am having to delay progress on a thumbnail to have to type this out and yet I still feel the need to.

At the end of the day people like what they like. The ship isn't gonna affect the show in any way because it's never going to happen.

And don't drag the VAs into even more bullshit drama, they've had enough. My friends don't need more in their lives than what they've already gone through the past year.

Supporting an artist, does not mean you are a supporter of Incestuous ships. It means you like art.

And being personal friends with Reed, the VA for Moon, I can tell you with utmost certainty he does not fucking care.

If anyone has questions feel free to message me. Let's be adults about this.

edit: for the love of god DO NOT GO HARASSING PEOPLE. I DO NOT CONDONE ANYONE TO GO AFTER THIS PERSON OR ANYONE IN THE COMMENTS. THAT IS NOT COOL.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys <3

I just wanted to talk about something that's really hit me this morning.

I feel like in the past few months, many people in this fandom have chosen to take a step back from fandom spaces, especially more interactive ones like twitter, tiktok, tumblr, etc. We've had a huge influx of people binding works for profit, sending hate on multiple platforms, and literally chasing people out of the fandom. Just this morning, I watched a tiktok of someone in this fandom reading hateful messages he received, and some of them were literal death threats.

Don't get me wrong- I do not blame a single person for privating their works, removing their creations, or taking a step back from fandom. In fact, I think it's absolutely warranted, and mental health comes first. While I would never delude myself into thinking I am as well-known as some of the people who struggle with these things, I myself have considered taking a break a few times, as it can definitely be overwhelming.

However, fandom is first and foremost and escape for me. I use it as a means of coping with past traumas and current stressors, and I have seen the way it has helped literally thousands of people deal with similar things.

I have to be honest. For years, fandom was a more-taboo community of 'nerds' and 'geeks.' When I was a kid, it was absolutely unheard of to read fanfiction, and I hid in my room for hours reading fanfiction.net, terrified someone would find me. But since it's become more socially acceptable, I feel like hate and judgement has only grown.

But the thing is, so many of you guys are ruining this. The hate you are spreading because you don't like a ship or because you dislike the way a fic has been written or because you, god forbid, hate that a character is written as feminine, is ruining this space for so many people. For god's sake, if you don't like it, don't fucking read it. Don't like Jegulus? Don't read it. Don't like transfem Sirius? Don't read it.

For so many people this is the only safe space.

And I'm gonna be so honest when I say that I need this safe space. This is something that keeps me going and helps me so much. So please, before you send hate, or bash a ship, or say something negative about anyone, remember that this is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be a safe space. This is supposed to be positive. And you are interacting with PEOPLE. Nobody here is a deity, nobody here is above it all, and nobody here deserves the hate that has been spread. (Except JK Rowling).

Sending love <3

P.s. this is NOT me asking you to go after the people spreading the hate. While I enjoy teasing trolls as much as the next person, sending more hate is not the answer.

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part Two

Welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Disclaimer for all readers of this series: 

I’m going to sound very confident in my posts where I work under the assumption I’m a better writer than JKR; because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You’re simply witnessing the culmination of over two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn’t just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

I’m not a perfect writer. No one is. I’m not a talented writer either. I’m experienced and skilled through years of study and practice.

I don’t care about J.K. Rowling. At all.

If you’re triggered by the concept and fact that JKR is a terrible crafter of writing, then you might want to take a step back and self reflect on that personal issue.

I still very much love and adore Harry Potter; you’re still allowed to love Harry Potter.

This is not a series to bitch or bash. This isn’t a shitpost. This isn’t an attack on JKR, no matter the disgusting bullshit she spews forth on Twitter. However, my hope is people awaken to the fact that JKR isn’t the goddess of writing we’ve all been led to believe.

This is a place of study and learning, where the purpose is to help students gain critical thinking skills and writing analysis tools to become better in their craft.

And, sorry, one more disclaimer for this specific post: 

Fanfiction is written for fun and is posted for free. I put most of my effort into my main fanfic, Terrible, But Great. (Yes, I intend to update Moon Rite soon, too) However, I also have two fanfics that are cowritten with another author; thus, the style of Shall I Stay and Badger Prey are understandably different. I spend three to four times the hours to edit a chapter versus drafting it. My process for fanfiction: I draft. I do one expansion edit. I do one proofread edit. I post.

However, if I were to publish a novel where people are expected to drop money on said book, my work flow would be vastly more extensive. To be clear, I’d do all of the following myself. I would not outsource. My process for published novels: I would draft. I would do three to four expansion edits. I would do two to three cutting edits. I would do three proofread edits. 

See the difference?

Because I don’t go through a cutting edit for my fanfiction, I’ll often come back later and see things I think are weak. I’m constantly seeing where I can tighten my work. There’s always room for improvement.

Remember: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a paperback book that costs $10. My fanfics are free. If I, someone who writes for free and puts what she considers the bare minimum of effort into them, have a higher standard in the quality of my writing than a paid traditionally published novelist, there’s a problem here. 

All right, with that nonsense out of the way, buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Let’s begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we’re going to discuss these five pages from HP5 and dissect one paragraph and a line from page 731. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

(My favorite book in the series, btw. I fucking love fifth year the most. JKR did a damn good job with Umbridge.)

Since a certain anon lacked the skill to comprehend the difference between too much dialogue and stories driven by a high saturation of dialogue, let's go into further depth about dialogue.

What did I mean last week when I said: "Too much fucking dialogue!"

Today’s lesson will focus on the overall issue in JKR’s dialogue and in the prose surrounding those dialogue lines.

And since, apparently, I “lack the self awareness” to know most of my fics are “oversaturated with dialogue,” I’m going to use weaker examples of my own writing. Chapter 24 of TBG is heavily driven by dialogue with twenty-one named characters to juggle, something that's very difficult for me to manage. Though the chapter is lovely, I do feel it's some of my weaker work. In the end, I just didn’t have the energy to edit it a second time nor go through cutting edit.

Here are three different pages (some connected, some not) from Chapter 24 of Terrible, But Great. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

You can already see the difference, I'm sure.

So, what’s the difference between a scene that has 'too much fucking dialogue' versus a scene that is highly saturated with dialogue?

Because there is one.

Let's set the scene for HP5. In the middle of an OWL exam, Harry received a vision from Voldemort, showing him that Sirius has been captured. He's being tortured to get something from a shelf, but Sirius refuses. Harry believes the vision is real. He tells Ron and Hermione, then asks for their advice on how to rescue Sirius. Ron and Hermione are both like, pardon, wtf, sir? (As they should be.)

We have five pages of this fight between them. These five pages are mostly dialogue with very little else surrounding it.

Also, note the final page where it has the worst sins of adverb usage. That page is what triggered me to begin writing this series in the first place, btw.

There's too much dialogue here. There's no description. I'm being told stuff, but I'm not being shown anything. There are no emotional anchors to Harry either. The more I reread this scene, the more I realized what was wrong.

There’s an emotional disconnect from Harry in the prose.

Do not misunderstand me: it is NOT to say that Harry isn’t emotional here. It's that the prose doesn’t grip me, the reader, by the chest and twist my heart with his overwhelming emotions. The prose doesn't prove anything, doesn't show me anything. This is an intense, terrifying moment for Harry. It should feel visceral. It should feel tangible. I should be able to taste his fear.

We also don’t get too much information about the emotional states of Ron and Hermione. We have hints, of course. But we can’t feel them. The emotions of the scene are dampened, muffled, dull even.

With an untrained eye, you might disagree. It's okay. You'll see what I mean soon.

Page 731 exact quote:

"I dunno how," said Harry. "But I know exactly where. There's a room in the Department of Mysteries full of shelves covered in these little glass balls, and they're at the end of row ninety-seven...He's trying to use Sirius to get whatever it is he wants from in there....He's torturing him....Says he'll end by killing him..." Harry found his voice shaking, as were his knees. He moved over to a desk and sat down on it, trying to master himself.

(Btw, punctuation issue: you do not use an ellipsis and a period together and there should be a space after the ellipsis.)

This is the only instance in the five pages where we get any information about Harry's physical state.

And it's written in such a weak 'telling' instead of 'showing' way, too.

How and where was his voice shaking? How are his knees shaking? Are they knocking together in a weird way that's kind of physically improbable? Or was it actually his legs were shaking? Isn't he leaning against the door? If his weight was resting against the door, then there'd be less shaking in his knees or legs because his knees would be locked to brace his body against the door. His arms and hands would be shaking, though.

How does Harry master himself? What does that look like? Slow breaths? Running a hand through his hair? Rubbing his face and eyes? How is Harry mastering himself? Is it mentally? Then, where are those mastering thoughts? What are they and why do those thoughts in particular help Harry 'master' himself?

What's Harry's tone as he talking about Voldemort threatening to kill Sirius? How is Harry feeling about this? Give me MORE!

The dialogue is presented to the reader in a bland, empty fashion. Harry is relating something to Ron and Hermione. I could switch the dialogue out with anything and it'd still make sense.

There is little surrounding the dialogue to anchor it.

So, let's rewrite this, shall we?

"I dunno how," said Harry, letting out a shaky breath. His hands clenched into fists against the door of the classroom. "But I know where—they're in a room in the Department of Mysteries that's filled with rows of shelves holding these... weird little glass balls. They're in row ninety-seven. Voldemort, he's—" Harry's voice broke. His breath caught in his throat. The memory of the vision returned full force into his mind, the image of Sirius on the floor at Voldemort's feet stark in his mind. He ducked his chin; his chest inhaled in a desperate breath and the edges of his eyes burned. He's torturing Sirius—I can't just wait around. I can't lose him. Harry looked up at Ron, whose face had grown pale, while Hermione stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. The strength in Harry's legs weakened. "He needs Sirius to get whatever it is he wants and he's—" Harry sucked in a gasp, his voice trembling like an autumn leaf in a thunderstorm. "—he's torturing Sirius... says he'll kill him in the end." His knees buckled. Harry stumbled to the nearest desk; Ron reached out with a steadying hand on Harry's upper arm and silent gratitude filled Harry's heart. With shaky arms, Harry lifted himself onto the desk to sit and twisted around to face Ron and Hermione. He licked his dry lips, rubbed his eyes with a hand, and took slow, deep breaths to master his fraying emotions.

The original canon text has 57 words of dialogue with a total of 83 words.

My rewritten version uses 56 words of dialogue with a total of 247 words.

I'm going to drill this concept into your heads, my lovely students: this is what I mean when I keep saying JKR's writing is both bloated and underwritten.

I only rewrote a single paragraph and its following line. The five pages I've provided are filled with this kind of empty dialogue.

So, what have I done here? Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Let's analyze what I focused on in this scene to show Harry's body language and his thoughts. I upped the physical effects on Harry's body. His fear causes his voice to break in the middle of explaining what's going on. He's terrified of losing Sirius, the only father figure he's ever known. Voldemort might take another parental figure from him. 

And now the prose reflects these feelings, not just in his thoughts, but also in how he speaks and reacts to what is around him. He is not just speaking at the reader.

Harry exists in his world. 

And you can feel it.

When he stumbles to the desk, Ron is there for him. Hermione reacting could also be added here. There is a lot that can be added to this scene, if one wanted to expand this further. 

Yes, what I've done has increased the word count, yet it strengthens this short moment—and I'd do this for the entire scene.

What I did to the scene is merely one version of its potential. It could be rewritten in a multitude of ways and go in various directions. I spent 10mins to 20mins on it. I haven't edited it or refined it.

Can you finally see what I mean now?

If you compare the highlighted pages of HP5 to the highlighted pages of Chp 24 of TBG, you can visually see the difference in the density of the dialogue. JKR is the one whose writing is oversaturated with dialogue. My writing will always be highly saturated with dialogue because my stories are character driven. I prefer stories like that. But I also need the dialogue to be interesting and engaging, where the character feels alive in their world.

When I say there's too much dialogue, this scene is such a good example of this because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all over the place in their interactions with each other. Yes, you want your characters to sound realistic, but you're also the author curating an experience for the reader.

There's a balancing tightrope act between having realistic dialogue and unnecessary dialogue.

There's a thin line between showing too much and telling too little.

Lastly, if I were to improve the overall scene, I would center the focus on Harry's desperation to rescue Sirius. As Ron and Hermione try to talk him out of it, where Hermione delivers that iconic line of 'you have a people saving thing,' I'd have Harry explode with something like this:

"You don't know what's it like! You both have your parents—I-I don't... You'd feel the same as me if it were either of your parents being tortured by Voldemort, yeah? I can't lose him—I can't lose Sirius."

I'm not bothering with description around it right now. I just wanted to give the baseline dialogue to show you the theme I'd carry through this scene. It's all about Sirius. It's all about the fear of losing him. It's about showing the emotion of the character and making the reader feel that deeply.

And that's what matters the most.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part Two in this series. We have discussed fives pages in JKR's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The pages in question are 731 - 735 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

[writer-swift-knight]

My new WIP has been out for almost two weeks and wow do I love posting again! What you can expect this time around from SGP:

Eighth Year

BAMF Hermione

Soft Draco

Mutual Pining & Slow Burn

Forced Cohabitation

Ron Weasley Bashing

Side Pairs: Panville and NottPott

The art for this fic was created by the incredible @cocotamarindo ❤️

New chapters are posted every Friday 🪄✨

Summary

Fallen from grace due to his involvement in the war, Draco Malfoy fully intended on entering his ministry-mandated eighth year at Hogwarts as one thing: miserable.

But what happens when the most terrifying witch with a blood lust for justice—The Brightest Witch of Her Age—assigns herself as Draco’s unofficial bodyguard against their vengeful cohorts?

Draco earns himself what is aptly referred to as Scary Granger Privileges™.

[beirarowling]

Did J.K. Rowling Fail the Lolita Test?

The functionally illiterate youth are canceling her for praising the classic novel.

By Kat Rosenfield

July 2, 2024

Like so many other digital-age absurdities, this one originates with a millennial who is mad at J.K. Rowling. Here’s what happened: in the year 2000, in an interview with BBC Radio 4, Rowling praised the novel, saying, “[A] plot that could have been the most worthless pornography becomes, in Nabokov’s hands, a great and tragic love story.” Rowling’s sentiments about Lolita are not unique; Stanley Kubrick and Dorothy Parker famously felt the same, and my own copy even has a blurb on it from Vanity Fair, calling it “the only convincing love story of our century.”

Aaron Gwyn, a professor in the English department at UNC Charlotte, was mystified by the surge of moralizing discourse surrounding Lolita: “It’s absurd. Nabokov would be horrified by the idea of his art as any kind of a moral test,” he said to me. “He didn’t need a 400-page novel to tell us that a pedophile is bad. But he saw very clearly America’s worship of youth, and America’s lust after the girl—the nymphet—as an archetype, and he turns that inside out. Humbert is a monster, but he’s also seductive, in the prose, the humor. . . if the reader wasn’t on some level charmed, in the witchcraft sense, it wouldn’t be effective.”

I don’t like to engage in youth-bashing (some of my best friends are youths, and rumor has it I used to be one myself), but this seems to be a particular problem for members of the under-40 set—people who, like Kempner, appear utterly confounded not just by the difference between depiction and endorsement but by the expression of any thought that contains two or more moving parts. At the risk of stating the obvious, Rowling’s praise for the transformative power of Nabokov’s writing does not amount to an assertion that she found the plot of Lolita literally romantic.