#round 1 dum-dums

[rpftourney]

Best RPF Ship - Round 1 Match 39

[yen-sids-tournament]

Simba and Nala v Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum 6/8

Simba and Nala- Pair Costume, Purchased

You get to wear onesies and be cosy the whole night while also getting to be lions.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum- Pair Costume, Purchased/DIY

Maybe your doppelganger was born with you or maybe you found each other or maybe its a copy of spirt, this would kill at school or a party (especially if you could recite the Walrus and the Carpenter)

This is not an endorsement of these costumes. sources: Lions Tweedles

[doppel-tournament]

ROUND 1, Part 42

[r0se1111]

can i get uhhhhhh domestic life in retirement with Ford where we grow old(er) together please and thank youuuuuu 🙏

Yessss >o<

Guys he's sooo domestic-husband-coded you don't understand....

OKok so. Keeping with canon, I do think Stan and Ford still go on their brother boat adventure™️ even with you in the picture, and you kinda hang out at the Mystery Shack for a bit. You help keep things afloat while they're gone etc etc. BUT of course this man calls home whenever he's on land and had access to a phone. He also writes you letters with drawings, photos, and little souvenirs of his travels.

When he returns you are soso happy to see him and he gives you a very cliched swept off your feet kiss. He tells you he's a bit out-adventured for a bit and just wants to stay at home with you for a bit and make up for those lost 30 years.

Get ready for the most wonderful cozy warm domestic bliss you've ever experienced. Waking up in the morning to his fluffy hair all askew as he blinks at you, smiling and calling you beautiful despite not being able to see a thing without his glasses. Stealing all his sweaters (including the turtleneck) to combat the cold pacific northwest mornings and nights. You take turns making coffee for each other in the morning, and on days where you have plans and really need some food in you, he makes his pancakes (a recipe he's been perfecting since he's been back. He loves you, but no he won't tell you what's in them).

Omg you guys sometimes have a little breakfast in bed moment and geez you're so old (affectionate). Him in his glasses, you with your hair all messy, both of you bundled in robes as you read together to get the sleepy groggy cobwebs out of your eyes and heads. Sitting side by side in bed with your breakfast trays and digging in while chatting about whatever.

He insists on still getting a physical morning paper, so most of these mornings are spent sitting at the dining table with coffee and waffles, your feet propped up on his lap as he fills out a crossword puzzle in record time with one hand and rubs your feet and calves with the other.

Gosh you guys are attached at the hip at this point in your lives. Grocery shopping? He's there pushing the cart as you meticulously scan shelves for all you need, occasionally piping up with his own personal preferences on pasta sauce brand or validity of certain buy 2 get 1 half off coupons. Quick stop at the mall? He waits dutifully outside the changing room, ready to give you glowing reviews of whatever you're trying on and holding up his own suggestions with a smile and a quick "this color would look wonderful with your undertones dear!" Yes he's color analyzed you

He's so helpful and genuine in his excitement to do these mundane tasks with you. One night he admits when times got hard during his interdimensional travels, he would daydream about just going to do laundry with you at a dingy coin-operated joint, sitting on the counter next to you and watching your clothes swirl round and round, intertwining with each other until you couldn't tell where his started and yours ended.

Your evenings are either spent on a date or making dinner at your place. If it's a date, he will have asked you out in advance and you better believe he's bringing you flowers or wine or chocolate or something cheesy like that. If you guys decide to stay in, you scan old cookbooks for something tasty sounding and dance around each other in matching "kiss the cook" aprons while one of you prepares a side and the other sets the table. Neither of you resist the temptation of kissing the other cook (ba-dum-tss) or of darting a tongue out mid-kiss to taste your partner's progress on their glaze or sauce.

Ford still is getting used to the idea of sharing a bed with you, but in a very sweetly nervous way. He knows his sleep schedule is a bit messed up still and he really doesn't want to worry or bother you. Some nights you fall asleep and wake up to him passed out on his desk with about 4 mugs of coffee surrounding him. On lucky (and increasingly more common) nights, he sleeps in bed with you. How he's so warm you have no idea, but you're not about to complain when he pulls you against him and rubs his hands down your arms and hips, all the while rambling about some documentary he'd watched that day which "you would really have found so fascinating, love." His clear and calm voice normally lulls you to sleep, but if he's unintentionally keeping you up with his roundabout descriptions, this is easily remedied with a kiss.

A kiss anywhere really, from as innocent to his forehead (you gently push back the stormcloud of his hair to press your lips as close to his wonderful mind as they can get) to something more suggestive like his neck or chest (left deliciously exposed in those relaxed V-necks you'd bought him one Christmas, a completely unselfish gift, might you add) is enough to get Ford to pause and glance over at you with a sort of are we gonna...???;) look. Whether you do or don't, any sort of physical affection is enough to have him sleepy soon. The two of you curl together, sharing breath for how close you are. And every night he gets to hold you like this and think about your wonderfully mundane and predictable lives, Ford thanks whatever higher power that put you into his life that he's back, and that you're his.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Bonus Round: Elric Brothers Custody Battle (aka “mod’s brother is going to kill her”)

(As before with the Narumitsu edition, winner of this custody battle gets the kids)

Submitted kids:

Izumi Curtis, Roy Mustang: Edward and Alphonse Elric

Propaganda under the cut!

Izumi Curtis:

“#Are we really leaving teacher in the dust here #The things she did for the elric brothers' world view #Also mine. As a young child who would grow up into a big strong lesbian #Her and her husband sig? I'm sorry to say but this too is yuri #Goals. I look at sig Curtis and I go. My God. I have to get butcher #Ba dum tss #G. Get it #Because he. Because they run a b. A butcher shop he's a butcher”

Roy Mustang:

1. “This pathetic cringefail loser of a man managed to raise and guide two traumatized children into becoming well-adjusted adults. He also gets bonus points because those kids end up saving the world from disaster.

Also he's hot sometimes”

2. “He has two(2) sons!!!!! Weird little traumatized children!!!! He's also soooo dad shaped(a mass murderer)!!!! He such a loser too!! I love him so much I wanna chew on him <3”

3. “ok i'm not into fma buts its a popular source and my oomfs r into it and i hear a lot about them. like top five things i hear about whenever i hear them talk about fma. hashtag war criminal family swag”

[eris-snow]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐅𝐢𝐭

✨Quirk accident

Tags: bakugou x fem!reader, fluff, bakugou's birthday series 2023

Bakugou and you get hit with an attachment quirk.

“So you’re telling me…” Bakugou growls, hand clenching yours. “We’re stuck like this.”

You don’t like Quirk accidents. Sure, you haven’t been in one, but you’ve heard plenty of stories of the sheer mayhem it could cause if the Quirk accidents weren’t handled properly.

Your Thursday that day had been used as a hands-on internship at your respective agencies because of a villain from the Hero Gala attack running around chaotically while setting things on fire.

There are two things that happened today:

Number 1: Bakugou and you caught the villain.

Number 2: The villain got you with his Quirk.

After a long, drawn-out interrogation that only ended around noon, Bakugou and you learnt the following.

The asshole’s Quirk was called “Attachment”, and meant that Bakugou and you had to spend your next 24 hours in each other’s presence. Sharing skin contact, as the villain explained weakly, was also needed in order to prevent both of you from suffering from panic attacks.

Your face heats up in utter embarrassment.

How cliche.

Aizawa takes one look at the both of you and declares the both of you as excused from your respective internships, before ordering you to shift all your necessary items into the living room. That was going to be the makeshift arrangement for this one night until the Quirk wears off.

Your homeroom teacher dismisses you with a tired yawn, and that’s when you’re shipped off back to the dorms with no one but yourselves to keep you occupied.

“This is stupid,” Bakugou snarls. “No way I’m sitting around here all day. You up for some hand-to-hand combat?”

Your heart jumps at the idea of normalcy, making you nod your head vigorously. “Let’s.”

The both of you make do with this. You change inside the bathroom while Bakugou stands with his back facing the door, and the physical combat checks out the villain’s lame Quirk criterias.

“Your kick is too low!” Bakugou yells at you while blocking your hit with his arm. “I know you can do better than that, Sunshine! Don’t start going fucking easy on me now!”

“It’s on,” You deadpan, landing a counterattack on his shoulder. “Don’t start getting all cocky, got it Bakugou?”

“Like hell, I will!”

That activity occupies you for a good few hours before you get back to the dorms.

After you’ve showered and gotten fully clothed, Bakugou and you try to complete homework. It’s obnoxiously subconscious, because that’s exactly when the Quirk starts to act up again.

You and Bakugou have a mutual, silent agreement to minimise as much physical contact as possible, and this Quirk had decided to derail your plan just for the fun of it.

Bakugou doesn’t like the idea of touching you. With his Quirk and the numerous number of people talking shit about how dangerous his Quirk is, he’s reframed from touching others ever since the dawn of middle school. He doesn’t want to hurt you, whether intentionally or not.

But even with all of this baggage, the pull towards you is too strong for him to ignore. He thought that just being there with each other would be enough to satisfy the Quirk, but apparently, he thought wrong. You look fidgety too, with the way you struggle on a math equation you can typically solve in your sleep.

Bakugou almost gives out when you stand up to walk towards the kitchen for a quick glass of water. It’s fucking stupid, that all it takes is 5 seconds without you and his hand is quivering aggressively with his breaths getting more laboured with the next. “Idiot,” He grits out, trying to ignore the anxiety that pools in his chest.

It only gets worse.

Unable to bear it any longer, Bakugou stumbles to his feet, staggering to where you headed without him.

He glares at the sight he sees when he rounds the corner. You’re stabilising yourself against a table, two quivering hands supporting your entire body was you take long, deliberate breaths.

“Dumbass,” He rasps, causing your head to shoot up to face him. The pull towards you is better now that you’re in closer proximity, but it’s not enough.

Those words echo off the walls of his brain.

Not enough.

He’s walking over to you, but it doesn’t do much to calm the storm of fear-stricken thoughts in him.

Not enough.

He takes one look at your face and grimaces. You’re having a hard time as well.

NOT ENOUGH.

Bakugou caves. “Give me your fucking hand,” He grits out, shoving his hand towards you. You don’t even think twice.

Your fingers intertwine as both of you take sharp inhales of relief, the haunting fear dissipating immediately the moment you make contact. “Never do that again,” Bakugou says, yanking a glass off the counter with you in tow, filling the cup up with water with one hand. “What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” You reply, taking the glass from him, looking embarrassed. “Sorry.”

Bakugou clicks his tongue. You’re such a Dumbass sometimes. Red eyes flickering to your joint hands, and Bakugou swallows back his initial annoyance.

“Let’s just go back.” Bakugou settles on, dragging you to the living room where your study materials. He tries to ignore the feeling of your hand in his, tries to think of anything to keep his brain from spiralling into the direction he refuses to acknowledge.

Your hand is a perfect fit in his, like it was made to be there.

You hold hands like that the entire time you’re doing homework.

It's quiet and incredibly awkward at first, but soon you and Bakugou learn to ignore it, and soon conversations start up again with a lot more life than before.

You remember that day vividly. The hand holding, the constant contact, the innocence behind it because Bakugou never overstepped boundaries with you. He needed the contact just as much as you did, and instead of getting all handsy, he opted for the most innocent form of touch.

You remember falling asleep on the couch with his hand in yours long before your classmates arrive home. It was the evening, and you both are drained from every goddamn eventful thing that happened so far over the month of April. Cherry blossoms symbolise change, and oh, boy, did it symbolise how far gone you were when it came to your crush on the blond Boom Boom Man.

His birthday was coming up, and you still hadn’t planned out your gift for him. You glare at your phone as you and Bakugou sit there in a somewhat comfortable position, with his arm resting on the couch and your hand lying on his. You can feel your eyelids start to close, and with how exhausted you were, you manage to drift off with success.

Bakugou glances over at you and sighs, tugging your phone away from your face and placing his away too. Just watching you snore peacefully is enough to get him yawning too. He lays down on his arm, head resting on the couch near your face. Fuck if he cares if his neck hurts tomorrow morning.

All that he could focus on now was how comfortingly warm your hand was, and how he wished that he didn’t need a Quirk accident to grasp it for the first time. He’d need to man up someday to spit out his feelings to you.

for the first time. He’d need to man up someday to spit out his feelings to you.

That day just…wasn’t today.

--

When you wake up the next day, it’s to half the fucking class gaping at you in unhinged surprise.

Bakugou and you have a lot of explaining to do.

[jeffyfitoftheyear]

🌟Jeff Satur outfit of the year 2023🌟

ROUND THREE: SEMI-FINALS!!

The winners of the round two category finals are:

Promo Event: Komchadluek Awards 19

Music Video: Dum Dum (outfit 1)

Magazine: Harper Bazaar Singapore April

Concert: Siam Halloween

These are your chosen fits. They will now be pitted against each other to see who will make it to the finals.

Semi-final poll 1 - Concert (32.4%) VS Music Video (28.5%)

Semi-final poll 2 - Promo Event (27.8) VS Magazine (26.6%)

Polls are now open for 24 hours!!

[romanreignseater]

Just The Three Of Us.

USOs x Black Female Reader

Rating: 18+

Warning: Very heavy smut; threesome, double penetration, blowjob, anal play, and a whole lot more. 🤭

“You’ve caught the Usos eyes ever since you joined the main roster and boy… did you love their attention.”

A/N: I got stories man… I GOT STORIES. I have about three fics I’m releasing soon, but I gotta do this one first. Thank you for all your support always ❤️!!

GIF: @r-truth

I loved working for WWE. The fans, the traveling, and my coworkers, specifically two of my coworkers.

I started out as a ring announcer for NXT and soon lived out my dream of being a WWE Superstar. Climbing to the top, becoming your NXT Women’s Champion and even becoming 1/2 of your NXT Women’s Tag Team Champions.

But, my time has finally come to really reach for the stars. I was the first pick in the second round, drafted to SmackDown.

A place I dreaded, yet was the most excited for.

The Usos have been around me since the NXT days. They would come around backstage every now and then in support of their little brother, Solo Sikoa. They constantly flirted with me and teased me, calling me “baby girl”, “ma”, “mama”, or even “princess”. It was really annoying, but I always found myself back in their face.

Being on NXT was great for me as they weren’t always there, but being on SmackDown with them means I’ll have to see them every week.

Great…

“What’s up baby girl?!” My eyes rolled at the sound of a deep voice. Turning around I see tweedle dee and tweedle dum.

Jimmy and Jey Uso. All clad in black, except for their signature white Nikes. Jey’s crop top in full effect and Jimmy’s hat all the way backwards. “Hey Thing 1 and 2.” Laughing at my snide comment, they both begin to approach me. I sat on a crate as they stand on each side of my thighs.

“That ring gear looking’ real good, you did that for us?!” Jey looked me directly in my eyes while Jimmy played with the hem of my shorts.

“As if Uso, what do y’all take me for?!” Crossing my arms over my chest, heaving my breasts up. Their eyes were immediately drawn to my ample cleavage. “I’m pretty sure we take you as ours.” Jimmy’s hand soon grips my hip.

“Are you crazy?! I don’t belong to NO—BODY.”

“Yet, yo ass ain’t moved up off this crate.” Jey’s face inches away from mine as he grazed my inner thigh with his hand. My eyes quickly look back and forth from Jey to Jimmy from Jimmy to Jey.

“You guys are dicks.”

“Yo ass finna be taking and sucking these dicks real soon.” Jimmy laughed at his twin’s plan and grabbed my phone from my hand. As Jimmy was typing something, Jey snuck a kiss behind my ear. “You belong to us, ya understand?!” He pushed back as we looked each other deeply in the eyes.

“Meet us in our room at 11.” Jimmy spoke up. “Let’s go Uce.” He smacked his brother on the chest and they left into the night.

Jesus Christ…

————————————————————————

Another day, another match won, and another step on the ladder climbed. But, throughout that entire match all I could think about was the Usos and their request.

“Meet us in our room at 11.”

My match against Zelina went well, but I was definitely off my game. The Usos were nowhere to be seen after my match and our little encounter. Packing up my gear and makeup for the night, I step outside of the arena in order to get an Uber.

And lo and behold, it’s the Usos.

Camping by a large black Escalade. Jey beckoned me to come over to them, and honestly… how could I say no to that boy?!

“Y’all just gonna keep staring at me or what?!”

They both looked at one another then back to me. “You already what’s about to go down.” Jey said. “It’s 10:15, the hotel is 20 minutes away, and our meeting is at 11. You got some time to put on something nice underneath.” Jimmy careful analysis of the time kind of freaked me out.

“What makes you guys think I’m actually attending this ‘meeting’?!”

Jimmy smiles and looks to his twin. Jey pushes himself away from the door of the Escalade and right by my side.

He circled me like a shark circling his prey. “If you wasn’t gonna attend this ‘meeting’, why you still here talking to us?! Better yet, we was allll up on you earlier and yo’ ass ain’t move from that crate.”

My eyes peered from Jimmy’s smirking face to my white painted toes. I gasped as Jey soon pressed himself up against me. His gruff voice boasted through my ears.

“If you ain’t gonna attend our ‘meeting’, you could either hop in the car or take your ass home. And by the way you still letting me be all up behind you like this… bro you might as well open up that door.”

The backseat door of the Escalade was soon swung open by Jimmy and he directed his hand to the seat.

I looked back at Jey and rolled my eyes. I pushed myself off of him and entered the car. Jimmy closes the door, and through the extremely tinted window I could see them fist bump one another.

They entered the car and we drove off to our hotel. “$100 Bill” by Jay-Z was playing in the background as I stared out of the window, wondering what I’m about to get myself into.

I looked away from the outside and my eyes caught both Jimmy and Jey’s in the mirror.

“Lord give me strength.”

And boy did I need it…

————————————————————————

The boys dropped me off at my hotel room and kissed me on each cheek. As Jimmy walked away, as Jey watched his brother walk away, he gripped my hip and pulled me close.

“I got a little present for you in there. You betta put it ALL on.”

And with that, I was alone again. Entering my room, atop my bed was bag from Savage x Fenty and beside it, a plain taped brown box. In the bag was a high waisted black lace thong set.

Just in my size.

I reached for some scissors and looked to the time as 10:40. “This shit better not take me 20 minutes.”

I gasped as I finally got the box opened. Inside was a pink, glittery butt plug.

These niggas is crazy…

But, so was I.

————————————————————————

I shifted in the elevator alone, glowing with cocoa butter and smelling like vanilla cashmere. Wig secured and tied into a ponytail. A nice pair of jean shorts, a pair of white forces, and my merch shirt. My silk press still maintaining its sleekness, but I doubt that’ll last long.

The elevator dings as I reach the 20th floor, where the Usos were staying. As I reached Room 20-11, I was tempted to run back into my room and hide out forever. Maybe even leave the hotel, and eventually the country.

I looked down to my Apple Watch, 11:00 on the dot my clock struck. Before I could even knock, the doorknob began to jangle. I could overhear arguing. Sooner or later, the door was swung open and there stood Jimmy.

We stared at one another for a moment before Jey revealed himself from behind the door. “Yo ass ain’t even saying nuthin’. Lemme answer the door next time weirdo. Come on baby.”

I brushed past Jimmy and entered their hotel room. I sat on one of their beds and made myself comfortable. They both stood in front of me with smirks on their faces.

“What does this meeting entail exactly?!” I slightly whimpered with nervousness in my heart. The twins became at eye level with, they did their thing again and looked at one another.

“You know exactly what this ‘meeting’ entails.” Jimmy rose from my eyes and pushed me back onto the bed. I got onto my elbows and watched their every move. Jey went to circle me once, but stoped halfway at the edge of the bed were my head was.

I looked as the brothers nodded at one another. Jimmy soon took my legs and spread them open. My vision was obstructed as Jey began kissing me, I could feel my shorts being pulled off of me and heard them fall to the ground.

Jey fondled my breasts and Jimmy massaged my inner thighs. “I knew this thong would look sexy on her.”

Jey paused his passionate kissing and looked up to his brother laid between my legs. “They do look good… now rip em’ off.” Jimmy smirked while laughing and soon my panties were ripped from my body.

“We finna take care of you girl.”

My pussy lips were soon spread open and I flinched as I felt hot air strike my beating clit.

“She going crazy already bro, get in there.” Jey’s words make me shiver as Jimmy soon took a deep dive into my dripping cunt.

My legs tighten around his head, but they were pried open by his younger twin. “Unhh, I can’t it’s too m—uch.” The Usos both laughed as the ministrations just began, and I already felt overstimulated.

Jey smacked my thighs and ordered me to keep them open. As Jimmy twirled his tongue in small, delicate circles back and forth from my hole to clit, Jey began to remove his member from his pants. His entire length sent a shadow over my whole face.

“Oh my god, where’s that gonna go?!”

I rolled my eyes in pleasure as I asked a striking question to Jey.

“It’s gonna go in that pussy later mama, but for right now it’s going in that sweet little mouth.” Jey tapped his length across my cheek and then tapped his drooling tip onto my lips. He gripped the base of his cock and I opened my mouth, waiting for it to enter as Jimmy continued to eat me out.

Lapping up the pre-cum that had gathered at his tip, I opened my mouth wider to slid his length back and forth across my tongue. He stared down at me with such intense eyes. His hips jerking forward slightly as I slid the rest of him in my mouth.

Jimmy tortuously abused my pussy. Jabbing the tip of his tongue between my folds. Pushing his long, thick middle finger inside of me, making me cream all over his single digit as Jey’s cock was still in my mouth. Adding another finger, my wetness flooded his fingers as he thrusted them in and out with ease.

Jey watched my every reaction, my mouth tight and wet, but he needed more.

“Jimmy… baby don’t stop.” I said muffled as I continued to suck Jey’s cock. Jimmy then sucked my pussy lips a little harder, making the sloppiest of sounds with his warm, fat tongue obliterating my slick cunt.

“Let’s switch up.” Jey’s cock left my mouth and he leaped off the bed. Jimmy sent one last kiss to my pussy as Jey laid down on the bed.

“Get on top mama.” I switched from my position from my back to my knees. Jimmy from behind smacked my ass, encouraging me to his brother’s dick. My legs fall spread between both of Jey’s thighs. I grasped his shoulders and awaited his massive cock to enter me.

I heard Jimmy rustling behind me as I made out with Jey, our tongues fighting in a dominate battle. Turning around, my jaw drops as I examine his girthy and veiny length.

“Glad you got that plug, cause I’m finna stretch you out.” Jimmy soon removed my plug and hole began to clench.

“We both finna stretch you out.”

I moaned as Jey’s length entered me through my pussy and I screamed as Jimmy entered my back hole. Feeling immensely stretched, I rested my head against Jey’s shoulder, crying in pleasure and pain.

“It’s gonna go away mama, and it’s gonna fell sooo good.” Jimmy rubbed my head and hair.

Jey began to thrust upward into my cunt, and Jimmy soon followed. Both my cunt and asshole were being pummeled by two large Samoan kings.

What a time to be alive…

Jey’s dick hit the bottom of my pussy, hitting my g-spot perfectly. Rough and hard, abusing my already hurt pussy. And Jimmy was slow and methodical, yet not skipping a beat.

“Oh my GOD, I’m gonna cum…”

“Hold on baby. Wait for us.”

I don’t even know which twin spoke to me as I was lost in far away land. Having my pussy ravaged at nearly midnight.

The grunts of the boys increased my pleasure and made me want to cum even more. “Unhh… cum for us baby, we right there witchu’.” Jey moaned into my ear and placed his hands on my tits, sucking my breasts as if I were breastfeeding him.

Jimmy massaged the other from behind and his strokes became sloppier. “Oh shit, cum for us baby.”

“AHHHHHHHH.” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I came like I’ve never before. The Usos both relaxed as their seed entered both of my holes.

We all sighed out of breath, still with our bodies intertwined.

Jey’s arms were placed behind his head as he watched Jimmy sensually make out with me. Nipping my bottom lip and fighting my tongue.

Jey grabbed my tit and gauged my attention.

“Same time at the next hotel.”

——————————————————————————

THE END

Definitely my longest fic I think 😭.

MY TAG SQUAD: @cyberdejos2 @thesamoanqueen @nayys-world @mzv11 @babybatlover @vogueyonce @harmshake @harlem11680 @seeingstarks @thewarlordsworld @alyyaanna @southerngirl41 @christinabae @pitlissa22 @thealliasylum @fame-ass-ers @iluvthebloodline @jeyusos-girl @ah-fin3sse @solosikoasgf @msbigredmachine @rollinsland @angelicflower2020

[acapelladitty]

In regards to: "I also love the rare moments of mercy which Crane is shown to be capable of because I think it rounds him out more as an interesting character." You have any drabbles or fic examples? I, too, crave the mercy of the absolute bastard. As a treat. Not counting him avoiding stuff he already established he's uncomfy with. Like, "Saint Jon" magnanimously deciding not to fear gas a junior girl scout meeting, no cookies for him. ba dum tsh. (even tho that might be kinda fucking funny)

I'll link some of my rare moments of Crane mercy below 💖

It's a mixed bag of fics ngl 🤣 some towards other Rogues, some towards strangers, and some towards his romantic partner xx

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)

Written By: Craig Reid & Charlie Reid

Artist: The Proclaimers

Released: 1988

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) is a song by The Proclaimers that was released in 1988. I’m Gonna Be is their most popular song. In 1993 it reached No. 3 in the US Billboard.

[Verse 1] When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you If I get drunk, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you And if I haver, yeah, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's haverin' to you [Chorus] But I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand Miles to fall down at your door [Verse 2] When I'm workin', yes, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's workin' hard for you And when the money comes in for the work I do I'll pass almost every penny on to you When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's growin' old with you [Chorus] But I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand Miles to fall down at your door [Post-Chorus] Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da [Verse 3] When I'm lonely, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you And when I'm dreamin', well, I know I'm gonna dream I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you When I go out (When I go out), well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you And when I come home (when I come home), yes, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you I'm gonna be the man who's comin' home with you [Chorus] But I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand Miles to fall down at your door [Post-Chorus] Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da da da (Da-da da da) Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da [Chorus] And I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand Miles to fall down at your door

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

Written By: Freddie Mercury

Artist: Queen

Released: 1976

The song was the eighth track on their album “A Day At The Races” which was released in 1976. The song also appeared on “Queens First EP” released in 1977. The song is about how Freddie is an old-fashioned lover, taking his partners on old-school dates such as dancing or dinner, also hinting at the fact that he is a good lover.

[Verse 1] I can dim the lights and sing you songs Full of sad things We can do the tango, just for two I can serenade and gently play On your heart strings Be a Valentino, just for you [Chorus] "Ooh love, ooh lover boy What're you doing tonight? Hey boy" Set my alarm, turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy [Verse 2] Ooh, let me feel Your heartbeat (Grow faster, faster) Ooh, can you feel my love heat? (Ohh) Come on and sit on my hot seat of love And tell me how do you feel, right after all I'd like for you and I to go romancing Say the word, your wish is my command [Chorus] “Ooh love, ooh lover boy What're you doing tonight? Hey boy” Write my letter, feel much better I'll use my fancy patter on the telephone [Bridge] When I'm not with you, think of you always I miss you (I miss those long hot summer nights) When I'm not with you, think of me always Love you, love you Hey boy where do you get it from? Hey boy where did you go? I learned my passion in the good old-fashioned School of lover boys [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] Dining at the Ritz, we'll meet at nine (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine o'clock) precisely I will pay the bill, you taste the wine Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely Just take me back to yours, that will be fine (Come on and get it) [Chorus] Ooh love (There he goes again) Ooh lover boy (Who's my good Old-fashioned lover boy?) (Ooh ooh) What're you doing tonight? Hey boy! Everything's all right, just hold on tight That's because I'm a good old Fashioned (Fashioned) lover boy

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Look After You | For As Long As You Need

What about a spidey fic? I love how you write those. Maybe Peter’s feeling insecure and the Avengers try to help? Idk, it doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s spidey. – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: injury, bedrest, self-esteem issues, panic attacks

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2225

Recovery is hard.

Not just because broken ribs always suck and even his healing factor has its limits, not just because he's cooped up on bedrest when all he wants to do is crawl on the ceiling and make all of this go away, but because he's still here. In the Avengers' compound and he's not sure what the hell he's supposed to be doing.

"Resting," Yelena says helpfully when he mumbles as much, putting down her crochet project she's been fiddling with on and off for the last few weeks, "you got hurt, Baby Spider, now you get better."

"But I don't just want to lie here! I can still do things!"

"Things that don't involve you challenging Barton to another round of trick shots in the archery range?" She doesn't even look ashamed when he gawks at her. "Barton wants you to get better too, you know. That way he doesn't have to feel bad about beating you soundly."

"He wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what, beat you soundly or wouldn't feel bad about it?"

"Aunt Spider—" Peter is not whining, he is making his voice sound like this on purpose because his ribs hurt— "I don't just want to lie around in bed all day!"

"You could do your homework."

"I've already done all my homework!"

"You could catch up on studying for your tests."

"I don't need to study for those anymore, I basically have all the practice questions memorized. Besides, I'm not supposed to do that for more than four hours a day anymore."

"Oh? Why is that?" He mumbles something under his breath. "What was that?"

"…maybe I stayed up too late and passed out with all of my books."

"Is that all?"

"And spilled coffee and energy drinks everywhere."

"You really aren't helping me beat the rumors that you're my kid," Mr. Stark says, startling Peter while Yelena snickers. He comes into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, ruffling his hair with a comfortable fondness that makes Peter's chest hurt for a different reason. "And that does mean I'll sick DUM-E and U in here to make sure you stay in bed."

"But Mr. Stark—"

"Nope! No buts." He holds up a finger. "Pepper's enforced the no-work-on-bedrest rule enough times that I'm not about to help you break it."

Peter is not pouting, his bottom lip is just bigger than his top one. Exclusively right now. Right now is when that's true. Mr. Stark just sighs and ruffles his hair again.

"Cheer up, kid. We'll order your favorite junk food and binge-watch some awful action movies tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Mr. Stark."

"There's my favorite young adult." He stands, wagging a finger at Yelena too. "You still good for guard duty?"

"That's what I'm here for."

It's probably a joke. It's supposed to be a joke. He's known Mr. Stark and Yelena long enough to know when they're joking. This is, in all likelihood, just a joke at his expense and they're not actually serious about guarding him like he's a prisoner or someone dangerous where they can't afford to have him escape and cause trouble.

So why does Peter feel like he's been shot and stabbed all over again?

He messed up really badly on the last mission. They said they weren't mad, but not being mad didn't mean weren't disappointed and everyone knows that's worse. Maybe that's why they're guarding him. There's been someone in his room pretty much at all hours and he knows he's being watched on the cameras too. Is he being guarded? He's definitely being guarded, and that means they still don't trust him.

Is it because he's so young? Crying all over Yelena and trying to be strong when really all he did was reveal how scared he was and how young—what sort of person couldn't deal with a rightly-earned scolding? Is he really so immature that he can't take something so simple as being told he'd messed up when he knew he did? That probably has something to do with it; they'd seen how truly childish he was when he tried to 'bravely' insist that he's ready to be yelled at—why had he jumped right to the conclusion that he was going to be yelled at? Did he think they were so bad that they'd just go straight to yelling? No questions for his perspective? No consideration for his side of the story? No, he'd just assumed they'd be mad and yell at him and he'd gotten himself all worked up for nothing.

"Peter? Baby Spider?"

He blinks. Oh. He's started crying again. That's embarrassing. He blinks a few more times to clear his vision and sees Yelena staring at him with open concern. He tries to mumble something along the lines of—well, he hadn't actually gotten far enough to decide what it was he was going to say, but instead of words coming out, he just sniffles. She scoots a bit closer, reaching out to check something on the bedside table, and then cards her fingers through his hair. The light tingling sensation feels really good, and it just makes him cry harder.

"Shh, shh, Baby Spider," she's whispering, "what's wrong? Talk to me, tell me what's making you cry."

"'M sorry—"

"No apologies, Baby Spider, remember? I will not abandon you to pain."

And just that, just that memory of all of them being so worried for him, all of them clustered around that hospital bed, is enough to make him feel even worse. Because what right does he have to assume the worst of them? They're the fucking Avengers, who is he to think badly of them?

"Hey, stay with me." The hand in his hair pushes it back from his face. "Stay with me, look at me, that's it—yes, look at me. Peter? Are you here with me?"

"Y-yeah, Aunt Spider, I'm—I'm here."

"That's good. Can you stay with me this time? Can we try?" He nods again. "Good. Now, let's try this again: what's making you cry, Baby Spider?"

He sniffles, trying to focus on her question and not the roiling guilt in his gut or the soft touch of her fingers against his still-tender scalp. "I just want to be able to do things."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? But you didn't do anything wrong!"

"Sympathy, Baby Spider, not remorse." She takes the half-finished crochet animal and boops his nose with its nose. "I've been on bedrest before, it's not fun."

"It's not."

"That's why I'm here to keep you company, hm? So that our Baby Spider doesn't go insane while he can't climb on all the walls and scare us at two in the morning."

"I don't scare you," he replies mulishly, "just Mr. Stark."

"And it's wonderful and I will be uploading that video to YouTube once it gets long enough."

He snorts. "Good luck."

"Thank you." She nudges his cheek this time. "Are you feeling any better? Do you need anything?"

"Will you tell me another story, Aunt Spider?"

"Of course I will."

***

Yelena has to leave before movie night, which means someone else swaps out for guard duty. He hopes it'll be Dr. Banner, maybe he can convince him to talk about work even if they don't actually do anything. Or maybe Rhodey, because then he can just hear all the stories about Mr. Stark when he was younger and getting into trouble.

He doesn't get those. No, instead Captain Rogers comes in with that soft smile and sits down in the chair with a sketchbook and Peter is terrified.

Not because he thinks Captain Rogers would hurt him, no, but because Captain Rogers is Captain Fucking America and he's already fucked up enough in front of him that he probably thinks Peter's awful and too young and too immature and the fact that he's assuming the worst of him right now is only proving him right and he's going to freak the hell out and—

"Hey, hey, sweetheart, look at me."

There's a warm hand on his face. There's another warm hand on his chest. There's a soft voice in his ear. He's gasping and sobbing. When did that happen?

"Eyes on me, Peter," Captain Rogers is saying, and he really should be trying to listen, "that's it, just like that, eyes on me."

"'M here, I'm sorry, I'm here."

"Shh, shh, it's okay, sweetheart." Oh, god, not the pet names. "You're doing so well. Just keep breathing and keep your eyes on me, okay? Just look at me."

He keeps talking, keeps talking in that really low comforting voice that all superheroes need to have for when they talk to civilians, and Peter's not sure why that's twisting in his gut the same way the panic was earlier, but now his stomach is aching and he thinks he must mumble something about it because then one of his big warm hands slides down and he's about to protest but he rubs a soft, slow circle into the tender skin and it shuts him right up. It's just like him: gentle but insistent, and Peter's crying like a baby again because he's being so nice and Peter's being so mean to him.

"You're not being mean to me, sweetheart," he soothes, looking so distraught that Peter thinks he's being bad, "you're just crying. That's okay."

"N-no, I'm—I keep thinking you're—that I'm—"

"That you're what," he prompts gently when Peter shakes his head furiously, refusing to finish his sentence, "that you're what, Peter?"

"It's nothing."

"It's made you panic and hurt," comes the soft correction, "that's not nothing."

"It's stupid."

There's a pause, during which Peter's brain does its best to panic again, but then Captain Rogers is turning his face toward his with a terribly soft look on his face and that hand on his stomach is still soothing away the fear before it has time to form and he's going to cry all over both of them again.

"I know you're scared," he murmurs, "I know you're hurt. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to be mad at you, I'm not going to kick you out of here or anything like that. You're one of us, kid, and we care about you. Not just because you're an incredible hero, but because you're a good kid. You're our good kid, no matter how much Tony and Nat and Yelena try to monopolize you. You're our Peter Parker, and we're here for you. Not just as Spider-Man, but for you."

…well, fuck.

"Is that it?" His face falls when Peter just nods frantically. "Oh, kid…I can't hug you right now, but—no, okay, we're gonna make this work. Come here, lift your head up…"

He slides one arm under Peter's head and shoulders, leaning over the bed and bringing him into a slightly awkward cuddle, but it's still a cuddle and Peter's crying all over again because Captain Rogers is trying to cuddle him because he's upset.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," he's whispering, "I'm right here, sweetheart, everything's gonna be okay."

"What did you do to my Baby Spider?"

"Shh, it's just Nat, it's okay." He turns over his shoulder. "I'm giving him a hug because he's scared and upset, if that's alright with you."

"Why is my Baby Spider upset?" She comes around to the other side of the bed, letting out a quiet noise and wiping a tear from his cheek. "What did Steve do?"

"N-nothing, nothing, he didn't do anything wrong, please—"

"Now look what you've done," Captain Rogers says, but he's still speaking softly, like it's just a joke, and he's pulled in for a kiss on the forehead, "you're making him more upset."

"Oh, Baby Spider, it's okay, we're just playing. You're okay, you're okay…" She picks up his hand and kisses his knuckles. "What's got you all upset today?"

"Jus' being stupid."

"No," Captain Rogers corrects, still soft, still gentle, "try again, sweetheart."

The lump in his throat won't go away. "'M scared that you're gonna—that 'm gonna lose this."

"Lose what, Baby Spider? Us taking care of you? Us caring about you?" How does she do that? "Oh, Peter, no. You're stuck with us forever."

"You don't have to threaten him, Nat."

"Is that what you think my threats sound like, Rogers?"

Peter laughs. It's more of a sob than a laugh and he's definitely still crying, but it is a laugh. And he almost wants to laugh again at how quickly the two of them melt. Captain Rogers keeps rubbing his aching stomach and Ms. Romanoff starts playing with his hair again and his eyes get heavy before he can even think about it too much. "We still—'re we still movie night?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, we're still on for movie night. You gotta stay awake long enough to tell Tony what you want for dinner, though."

"FRIDAY knows."

"Oh, she does, does she?"

"Peter has already informed Mr. Stark that the Number 12 meal has been requested."

"How many of those do you two have?"

"…'bout 30 I think?"

"Oh, Baby Spider, don't ever change."

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 1 BATTLE 14

Jedward (irish music history/eurovision) vs Min-Gi Park & Ryan Akagi (infinity train)

reminder to check out the propaganda before voting! It is under the cut!

Jedward

You say you're on it but you just don't know You're spending money like you're on death row You must have been mis-educated By all the guys that you dated You think I'll take the bait but I don't think so Ohhhh Am I headed for a car crash? Ohhhh I'm just about to meet my match, she takes the Ohhhh I'm about to fall in head first Sisters let me tell you how it works HEY! She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Oooohh, Oooohh You look at me and I got you in mind I come on over see what I could find No appetite for delusion I could've win what I'm losin' You're saying yes when it is no, no, no, no Ohhhh Am I headed for a car crash? Ohhhh Is this about to be my next, she takes the Ohhhh I'm about to fall in head first Sisters let me tell you how it works HEY! She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey It's not that I don't wanna play (play, play) And then I didn't look your way (way, way) It's not like every girl's the same (same, same) You gotta know just how to treat this miss Or she will be dismissed Heyyyyy She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Here I come Here I come Dum da dum da dum da dum Here I come Here I come Dum da dum da dum da dum Hit and run Hit and run Dum da dum da dum da dum Then I'm gone Then I'm gone Gone, gone, gone, gone She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey She's got her lipstick on Here I come, da da dum She's got her lipstick on Hit and run, then I'm gone Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey Check my collar, collar, hey, hey, ey

Feral twin(k)s who hold a special place in the hearts of many eurofans. They sang abt lipstick once. They used to have huge hair and dress up like popcorn boxes or sweet dispensers or Pikachu. Nowadays they emerge every so often to make unhinged Tiktoks. I have an entire doc which is just quotes I've collected of them over the years (mainly Edward ngl)

They walked to Markus & Martinus could waddle, stumble down the chairs, Jedward could've made Eletrik but Markus & Martinus could not have made lipstick

Min-Gi Park & Ryan Akagi

These two were childhood best friends who dreamed of starting a band and traveling together. They went their separate ways after high school for Ryan to try to get Min-Gi to rejoin the band. They ended up on a magic train together bickering like an old married couple and for some reason sticking with a magic service bell named Kez who did nothing but get them into trouble. They also annoy a sentient castle by playing a song they wrote as kids about putting various animals in a toque.

Like they are basically gay and in love except 1. the big guys upstairs wouldnt allow it and 2. They are too much dumbasses to like even confess properly let alone actually communicate. It took a therapy train and a sentient bell named Kez for them to actually realize how much they care and how much they wanna achieve their dream of being in a band together (which gets realized and its so great i love my gays who play music)

[doppel-tournament]

ROUND 1, Part 37

[fellfirst-fellharder-fight]

Round 1: Fight 3

John Watson/Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock) vs Jonathan "Jon" Sims/Martin K. Blackwood (TMA)

Propaganda under the cut!

John Watson/Sherlock Holmes:

Don’t @ me but yeah. John falls first, following Sherlock and doing what he says without question. Sherlock falls harder (literally, ba dum tsh!), sacrificing himself (sort of) to save John. If you know (ie if you were on tumblr btwn 2010 & 2013), you know. a

Jonathan "Jon" Sims/Martin K. Blackwood (TMA):

they're so silly!!!!!!!! they have ruined my life with their silliness. can't believe martin spent 4 seasons pining on this pathetic little man.

martin has has a crush on Jon since about the start of the series,and when he notices that Jon is having trouble due to the horrors,he tries his best to help him out we are only sure that Jon fell in love after Martin did,but it is fairly accepted in the fandom that jon had Fallin in love with Martin at around season 3-4(?) mostly due to the point that Jon was the one to ask Martin to gouge his own eyes with him so that they would both be safe from the horrors,and it is presumably Jon that was able to acquire Daisy's safehouse (a lovely home in Scotland) and was able to convince martin to run away to a different country with him(they lived in London) not to mention that at the end of the series,Jon had decided to use himself to try to slow the apocalypse down to make it barable,but the moment martin was in danger due to that mistake,Jon switches gears and sacredixes himself,the world,and martin,just so he wouldn't have to be alone during the apocalypse if that isn't fell first,fell harder,idk what is!!

martins canonically got feelings for jon since at least the late second season, and aside from a few moments of jealousy and his very obvious doting, he manages to be pretty normal about it. jon realises he has feelings for martin and he literally never shuts up about him. finds any excuse to talk to the man despite martin (at this point) trying to cut himself off from everyone. 'hey martin this woman neither of us care about that actively tried to kill me once is in danger do you think i should save her' as if he has an opinion? and then theres of course the wonderful 'lets gouge out our eyes and run away together 💖' love confession of the century. when they do start dating jon wont stop saying 'my boyfriend 💞💞💞' with the most lovesick and proud voice

im sure you're gonna get so many submissions for them but to summarize: Martin is the one who started writing love poetry all the way back in S1 but Jon is the one who suggested they both BLIND THEMSELVES AND RUN AWAY TOGETHER in S4