#rotating this scene in my head 24/7

[kyshkasa]

[vingler-mirror]

Listening to Like the Dawn and thinking about Isokania...

[teatitty]

"I want to stay with you forever, I don't care if I never get my memories back" "I also want to stay with you forever. I'll give you all my memories" rotating that scene in my head 24 fucking 7 literally what the hell was all this gay ass fucking goth romance at its core

[1ovemelikeasailor]

Sailor pt.5

trying to update but math honors is kicking me in the butt so hard.

play the song.

"Sailor Song" -Gigi Perez

Summary: just when things were starting to be fine—it got worse.

Jenna Ortega x Female reader

Check out the other parts for more info!

-

No one's POV:

Monday

They both sat underneath the bleachers, some of the sun shining through.

Jenna carefully kissing Y/n, using her left hand to guide Y/n's face.

She slowly pulls away, big smile on her face.

"You taste like cherry." Jenna mumbles, both of their faces so close. Jenna looks at Y/n'a eyes then back at her lips.

Y/n looks away.

"It's my chapstick." She mutters back. Jenna grips Y/n's jaw making her look at her. "Yes, Jen?"

"Mmm, nothing." She lies down on the grass. "I had this terrible math quiz today—gosh, I scored so bad on it."

"Yeah? You study?"

"No I didn't—"

"Okay, whose fault is that?" Y/n smiles at Jenna.

"Um, yours. You were the wanted to sneak in during my studying hours—"

"You begged me to come over!"

Jenna giggles.

"I have no regrets!"

The bell rings.

Both teens groan, Y/n flops onto the grass beside Jenna.

"We should skip." Y/n suggests.

"You know I can't do that."

"I don't know why you take school so seriously—"

"Because it is important." Jenna sits up, straddling on Y/n's lap. It makes Y/n sit up. "You should start taking it more seriously too." Y/n doesn't answer, playing with Jenna's cross necklace. "Y/n?" Jenna questions. "Im being serious."

"Mhm." She puts her hands on Jenna's waist, leaning up close.

"I..have to go."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, Y/n." Y/n kisses Jenna's neck making her breath hitch. "Y/n."

"Hm?"

"Y/n—I have to go—" Jenna takes a deep breath trying to make her words sturdy as she says them.

"Im sure being late to one class won't hurt, Jen."

Jenna lets out a huff debating her options.

"Five minutes only."

-

"You're late miss L/n." Her science teacher explains as she walks in the class.

"Sorry, lost track of time." She doesn't look at the teacher just walks to her desk.

"Dude you're 20 minutes late." Mason looks at Y/n confused. 5 minutes were from Jenna, the other 15 were from Y/n just laying in the grass talking to herself.

"Yeah, well I just wanted to lay in the grass, you know?"

"Just laying in the grass? You sure nothing with Jenna?"

"Man when will you guys stop with that? I already told you a million times she told me to leave her alone. Thats it."

Y/n was lying straight through teeth, and to her best-friend. But, it was all for Jenna.

"Right, so Im suppose to believe that after you keep ditching us during our gaming time to go to sleep?"

"Hey, Im tired nowadays!"

"You literally sleep 24/7–"

"Thats a lie me and Jasmin are on the game until 6 in the mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"You guys have a schedule?! And why am I not invited?!"

"Because you suck at call of duty!"

"Thats not true I have 21 wins—"

"Jasmin carries you every-time!"

"So you show up to my class 20 minutes late, and want to just make a huge scene in the back of my classroom?" Their science teacher says. "Detention for you Miss L/n."

Y/n groans.

"Um, with due respect Mrs.Ramirez—"

"Detention for you too, Mason."

-

Tuesday

It was 2am. Y/n had snuck through Jenna's window for the 3rd time that week. She'd usually stay for a few hours until Jenna's parents got up.

"Okay, what's the origin of the x if you have to rotate the triangle?" Y/n held up one of the flashcards looking for Jenna's response.

"Shouldn't it be 0,0?" Jenna stops pacing in her room looking at Y/n.

"If..it wasn't rotating then yes that would be the answer."

Jenna groans.

"So, Im wrong."

"You're definitely not right—"

Y/n's laugh is cut off by Jenna tackling her onto her bed.

"You're definitely not right." Jenna mocks Y/n's tone. It makes Y/n laugh even more.

"Okay seriously we have to focus Jenna, the quiz is next week!"

“I need a break.” Jenna huffs, then lays her head on Y/n’s chest.

Jenna loved the way she felt right now, the way she felt you breathe in every breath, the way your chest went up and down, the way she could hear your heartbeat. She looks up at Y/n slowly inching her way to her lips.

Y/n begins closing the gap between the two girls, making their lips touch. Jenna adjusts her position getting on-top of Y/n. The kiss gets deep, so Y/n uses her elbows to support her getting up.

Y/n begins taking off her shirt, with the help of Jenna. She feels all over Y/n’s body, getting deeper and deeper into their love.

Jenna told no one about the way she felt with Y/n. The way their lips moved so in sync with each other, the way her golden cross necklace came off that night, the way Y/n touched her like no one has before, and the way each touch felt like heaven on her skin. She’d been told heaven would be without this—without Y/n’s touch, without their love. At this time Jenna wasn’t sure she wanted to go to heaven, if heaven would be without this. Be without her and Y/n. It was impossible.

-

Friday

There Jenna’s mother sat. On their couch scolding Jenna, her father as well. Her mother had caught Y/n and Jenna underneath the bleachers—not doing anything, just hanging out.

“We were just talking mom—“

“That girl is bad news! Everyone in town knows she’s gay.” Her mother yells.

“She walks around like it’s something to be proud of! It’s the devils curse!” Jenna’s father adds on, he paces in the kitchen.

“I don’t want you hanging out with her. She’s is the devil!”

“No she isn’t! You don’t even know her! How can you say?”

“Why are you defending a faggot Jenna!” Jenna’s father screams at the top of his lungs.

“You guys promote loving everyone and anyone! How can you say this? You say you love God, but God wouldn’t want this! This is horrible! You guys are horrible!”

Jenna’s mother scoffs.

“You know better, Jenna.”

“I hate you guys.”

Jenna stands up.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Her dad stops pacing, looking at Jenna.

“Why do you even care?”

She runs out the front door. She doesn’t stop for her mother or father’s protests. Jenna just keeps running to the one place that felt like heaven.

-

She knocks on the front door.

“Jenna? Hi, come in.” Y/n’s mother says opening her door more. She walks in. “Y/n’s up stairs I think doing homework!”

“Thank you, Miss.” Jenna runs up the stairs. She doesn’t even knock, running into your room.

“Mom—I told you—oh shit, hi pretty?” Y/n looks confused. “You okay?” She looks at Jenna’s panting, the sweat on her face, her chest going up and down. Jenna shakes her head ‘no’. “What’s wrong?” She takes Jenna to the bed sitting her down.

“Y/n.” Jenna’s eyes water.

“Whats wrong, Jenna? What happened?” Y/n’s voice gets more stern.

“My parents—“

“Shit, do they know?”

“No, they don’t. But, they saw us hanging out earlier and want me to stay away from you.”

Y/n sigh, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, Jenna. You do what you need to do. I understand.”

Y/n knew the time would come—the time where they couldn’t hide it anymore, and she wasn’t willing to risk Jenna’s future or family relationship for her and Jenna’s relationship.

“No, Y/n, no.” Jenna grabs Y/n’s hands interlocking them.

“Jenna they’re gonna catch on, if we stop now…they won’t ever know.”

“I need you.”

“Jenna—“

Jenna kisses Y/n. The feeling makes Jenna calm down after all the emotions she had just had run through her.

“I love you.”

-

[durgewyll]

(anon about Wyll getting hells-tormented and transformed in front of everyone) I'm just going insane about him and think I misremembered his first dialogue after the scene a little dkjsk (got mixed up with another backstory line perhaps? about how he doesn't regret the pact and would do it again? or another one maybe it's been a minute since I played :((( ) BUT STILL

just!!! Mizora keeps dishing out torments and he keeps taking it and keeping up his brave heroic face!! and he keeps trying to be as good as possible no matter the sacrifice and augh my heart HE WAS WILLING TO GET KILLED!!!!

and everyone in camp just watching that happen like.. that's Quite A Moment for him to go through right in front of a bunch of people he's only known for (usually) a handful of days at most? and Karlach is right there realizing he was 100% willing to get killed by his patron for her to live! and everyone else in camp is also witnessing all of this!

it's kind of an insane thing to meet a guy and go "oh he's cool and hot and has the tadpole he can come with :)" and then find out the "devil" he's hunting is actually another tadpole buddy and then shortly after that you watch his patron torture and transform him in the middle of your camp and he gets back up and keeps going!! and you're standing there like,,,,, your man just got marinated in all the hells at once,,

and you can talk to him afterwards and reassure him and all but listen. listen.. I just think people who talk about Karlach or a tiefling Tav (or the grove tieflings? do they talk about the grove tieflings?) helping him out with horn care are onto something I think he could use a little more... is the word 'aftercare'? just wouldn't his skin and muscles hurt after all that... what if he needs a little massage :( a gentle head rub :( he needs to go to a spa in Baldur's Gate (and it goes without saying that he (and every one of the tadfools yes but this ain't about them) could use a good therapist)

(technically Mizora was "within her rights" to give him whatever punishment wherever she felt like it but she should also consider dying a thousand deaths and letting him have nice things and leaving him alone forever) (I'm taking him away from her and holding his hands tenderly and– ahem)

...hmm that was more words than I meant to,, I was trying to be hinged and levelheaded in the first ask but then I thought about him more and that just... it happens when you've known him for a couple of DAYS... idk thinking about it made me go feral a little. hope you have a good one I love seeing you on the dash btw <3

no i get it LMFAO wyll's rotating around in my head 24/7 like a perpetual microwave

it really is kinda crazy to think about all that happening, esp if you also recruit karlach on the same day you meet him 😭 you've known him for less than 24 hours at that point and he just up and makes a huge sacrifice in the name of doing the right thing. just another tuesday for the blade methinks! (also, obsessed with the wording on that - "marinated in the hells" 😭)

honestly, no wonder wyll sulks at the beach during the tiefling party. he has had no time to process everything that's happened - from hunting karlach in avernus, to getting tadpoled, the nautiloid crashing, saving the druid grove from goblins, helping the tiefling refugees, sparing the person you swore to kill, getting transformed into a devil, infiltrating the goblin camp, killing the three goblin leaders, rescuing halsin only to find out they have to go to moonrise towers anyway. all in - what? a week or two? not to mention he has a mindflayer parasite, the threat of mindflayer transformation looming over everyone in camp.

so the one time the party finally has time for rest and relaxation and celebration - that's the time it all hits wyll. he's permanently changed. because he did the right thing. he can't bring himself to celebrate despite all the good he's done. will the people still trust him to protect them? or will they only see a devil?

and AAGGHHH there really should've been more [tiefling] dialogue for wyll... comforting him... giving him advice on horn care... or even as a flirt option to just offer to take care of it for him. yknow. he deserves it and more!!

[space-spring]

I reblogged that post the other day about never finishing video games and it made me stop and think hard about my life and the fact that. oh my god....... I really DO never finish video games........... So I have changed my ways by finishing up Chapter 4 and the ending of Chaos route for Tactics Ogre! Tons of endgame spoilers ahead but here are my bullet-pointed highlights:

My guy Azelstan the pirate! I love him. His whole arc with losing his daughter reminded me a little of Svarog and Hossabara from Triangle Strategy (albeit with substantially more nihilism!), and finding him at the port and then going through the story with the girl he takes under his wing made me die a little inside.

I do really appreciate the fact that even once he joins you he's still a little bit of a mess! I feel like a lot of the characters join Denam out of anger or honor or something else equally passionate, and meanwhile Azelstan's out here going "I've lost everything I love and this is just a decent way to try and make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else." He's simply a very sad old man and I love him a lot

This is not a highlight per se but it IS funny: I had to play the whole pirate cove dungeon where you recruit him like three or four times because I kept thinking I had the recruitment conditions fulfilled and then. did not in fact have the recruitment conditions fulfilled. I killed SO many ghosts. I got to the point where I just bought like 30 exorcism arcanas before going in so I could just have anyone regardless of cleric status blast the stilled undead whenever I needed to

AUGHKDHJSHDGHJJS. I am. SO unwell about the Sherri recruitment scene. I cannot express just how much I am unwell about the Sherri recruitment scene. All the Phoraena sisters really are so cool and good and I spontaneously combust whenever they come on screen but this scene is just AUUUUUGH........ It kills me thinking about how long Sherri's been hiding out because she doesn't think anyone will welcome her back and meanwhile her sisters just!!! love her so much!!!!!!!!!! and SHE loves THEM so much!!!!!! it just makes me go woaugh..........

I also just replayed some of the earlier chapters with Cerya and Cistina to test out the endgame rewind feature, and I take back my little chart I made of them a while back where they're arguing over clothes and things. All of the sisters are defined first and foremost by Being Willing To Sacrifice Everything For Each Other and I love them so much about it

And in addition to all the Phoraena sister dynamics, looking at this scene through the perspective of Denam ALSO having a sister who's keeping herself apart because she feels unloved is so. wowowowow

And on that note Denam and Catiua are rotating around in my head 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really so in love with how far the writers went with their argument and fallout and also insane about the bad ending in this scenario because AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?! and also I'm just a sucker for guilt arcs and having to live with mistakes even when it'd be easier not to. Catiua's absolutely insane (affectionate) and I think it's so fun how she changes things around and really comes into her own after this.

Also I really really love that the two of them got to have such a narratively clear conversation about everything that went down!!!!! This is a complete tangent but I sometimes kind of go insane over the fact that in Triangle Strategy we really don't get to see a ton of Roland and Cordelia after they reunite and Whiteholm is retaken. They have. so many things to talk about, and Cordelia has more than a few valid reasons to feel resentment toward Roland for the way he handled retaking Whiteholm. The closest they come to really talking about how they feel is that scene where they're standing in the garden and Roland's trying to explain why he killed Avlora and Cordelia just kinda quietly goes, "I know. I get it. I can't blame you." And while that scene is fun in its own "this bad boy can fit SO many emotionally traumatized Cordelia headcanons in it" sort of way, it's also so so so nice to see Denam and Catiua do the opposite and actually sit down and hash it out for a bit. They get to talk about why they're angry!!! They both get to explain themselves and then reassure each other that they're still loved!!!! They get to be genuinely close again and work as a team!!!!! and I love that for them :)

Also with comparisons to Cordelia, Catiua very distinctly doesn't get sidelined after Denam rescues her!!!! She's an active participant in the war and really takes charge over Denam, which is very neat imo, and I love getting to see her coronation and speech at the end

THIS ATTACK SPECIFICALLY. The whole final boss was so cool but I actually gasped and sat back when I saw this, it was just so so different than any of the other graphics in the game and it made me go nuts

AAAAOAUGH GHAGHG

The credits are really pretty :)

RHCKCHHGLGLRLRLAHHJG I am once again foaming at the mouth about the way the game blends game mechanics and story this is SUCH a fun explanation for how the whole world tarot system works and also I am absolutely gutted by the idea of Denam doing this canonically because he can't stand the regret of the choices he's had to make. I feel like Denam's guilt over the entire conflict isn't explicitly mentioned a ton (he actively makes a lot of comments to the effect of "I'm doing what my honor dictates and I have nothing to be ashamed of") and then every once in a while the game comes back and slaps you with stuff like this. Like hey. hey. yasumi matsuno. can we talk? I jst wantto talkk

Also all the endgame content is SO GOOD. I'm starting to move over to Reborn because I want to experience all the voice acting and stuff over on that version, but it's also so hard to leave my team and all the cool stuff I've unlocked. I need to read up on it more but I'm 90% sure you can recruit Lancelot and Warren if you do the Palace of the Dead stuff which I avoided in Chapter 4, so I'm tempted to go back and do that on there sometime. Or mayhaps I'll just play it through on Reborn once I get through Lawful and Neutral!

But yeah!!! Overall, such a fun route and a fun game and a fun ending :) I do feel like I want to come back to Chaos route once I've finished the other two, because I miss Vyce and the role-playing part of my RPG-obsessed brain really wants him to survive the canon-ish ending because I think there's a ton of things from the beginning of the route that I'll think differently on now that I've finished (like all of the stuff building up to Vyce going nuts and Catiua leaving).

[azucar-skull]

*rotates this scene in my head 24/7*

[dengeki-gs]

tagged by @peemil it's so fun to do these... let's bring these back i wanna know more about everyone. However if you want all the questions you should go back to his post because I deleted a few.

last song: Heliosphan - Aphex Twin

favorite color: green always #greenteam

last book: Pure Color by Sheila Heti, which I liked a lot! I also read Blockchain Chicken Farm by Xiaowei Wang for nonfiction recently.

last movie: Mulholland Drive! Still comes second to Inland Empire for me but Inland Empire is the best. #pretentious

last tv show: Possibly Detroiters maybe Rupaul's Drag Race. Whenever a new season of drag race is on it always affects my life. When I watched Mulholland drive, during the scene at Club Silencio, I was like oooh this would be a great drag number.

sweet/savory/spicy: ummm. Savory and fatty? Like a soft boiled egg :)

current obsession: Symbolism relating to the Wizard of Oz!

looking forward to: I am going to see my friend speak at a conference tonight and then go out and do a networking thing with a bunch of game devs so I hope that will light my artistic fire so to speak!

favorite drink: Oh my god how could you make me CHOOSEEEE i love every drink in this world!!! ok there's a coffee shop near me that does a very good herbal tea latte it's like a white tea latte with almond milk and honey and then cinammon on top. It is VERY good.

song playing 24/7: Blue Orb from We <3 Katamari and Dough-Nuts Town Map by cartooom!

current favorite character: I usually have my girls on rotation. Not rotating anyone in my head right now, but my three faves will always be Madoka Kaname, Hatsune Miku, and Honoka Kousaka.

fun activity i’d like to get into: I did a decent job junk-journaling last year when my housing situation was much more stable. I would love to get back into that. I also want to learn Touchdesigner.

last video game: Persona 5 Royal! Animal Crossing happy home paradise! Idolm@ster dearly stars!

last comic: what happens next (will shock you) by max graves. I didn't even change my answer from emil's. That's how universal this fucking comic is.

If you got to the end of this, consider yourself tagged!

[birdiedoesdc]

WHOOPS WRONG BLOG BABE 2, 3, 12, 16, 21, 22, and last but not least!! 25!! For the ask meme :^)

LOL hiiiii haven <3<3!!! thank you for the ask!!

(send me end of year asks!!)

2. A piece you're proud of and why

i actually really enjoyed writing the jason crochets fic. it's a longer fic, which i don't often write, and i got to combine my niche hobby with my blorbo. what more could you ask for??

3. A fic or artwork you enjoyed

for art, this jason by @starspilli is an absolute fav (and it was posted on my bday too!!) for fic, i really enjoyed this reverse robins au by @homobiwan!! makes me giggle every time.

12. A concept you'd like to develop next year

well you already know this BUT. the "sofia gigante mentors jason and also he is immortal" au has a GRIP on me. trust that i am rotating them in my brain 24/7. theres soooo much i could write about them good LORD.

16. Something interesting you researched as part of the process

the previously mentioned jason crochets fic involved me digging up old patterns and tutorial videos that i hadn't touched in years, which was fun!! i haven't posted this fic yet because it's for an upcoming event, but i also had to google new jersey drivers license laws. i love writing research. its so silly.

21. Something that made you emotional

i wrote this post-utrh fic immediately after rewatching the movie so i was already pretty weepy, and then i was writing about jason showing kindness at his lowest and being shown kindness in return and i got even weepier. jason's endless empathy always get to me tbh.

22. An idea you had that didn't make the cut

already answered here!! lets also pour one out for the hypothetical au i've had in my head for years but never done anything with where instead of sending jason out around the world to train with random ne'er-do-wells talia goes "i know how you can develop your skills. there is somebody who many, many people want dead. you can keep him safe and hone your abilities." and then she makes him damian's begrudging bodyguard. i have literally nothing else for this au but i think about it a lot regardless.

25. A scene or image that lives rent-free in your head

this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS sofia + jason artwork by the incomparable @havenesc. the fuck-off poses. the coordinated color schemes. the AURA this gives off. absolutely unmatched.

[helinedmightbehere]

having a normal one about Martin I see? /silly

shut up shut up shut up /j /lh

i just. you do not understand i rotate that man in my head 24/7 literally made an entire au for him to suffer that's how much i love him

it's him it's always him someone get him out of my brain but also don't i love dissecting his bitchass sm

just. his self-isolating tendencies?? the fact that he literally unintentionally manipulates people to like him more and so he can get what he wants??? the fact that he was originally meant to be a part of the web but it was then decided he'd be better as the lonely???? the fact that he supposedly turned the entire plot of the show around????? the fact that his v/a hates his guts because he's a representative of the v/as younger self??????

ALSO. NEVER FORGET THE FACT THAT HE LITERALLY DAYDREAMED ABOUT THE STEREOTYPICAL MOVIE SCENE OF HIM KILLING JONAH THEN KISSING JON AND PRESSING A BUTTON TO STOP THE APOCALYPSE HE'S SOOO...............

fucking love him oh my god

if nobody got me i know martin blackwood got me can i get an amen

[noahmrshall]

(sorry the malbonte rant - he has been rotating through my thoughts 24/7 since the update. feel free to ignore <3)

pls malbontes dungeon scene had me losing my mind. i wasn’t expecting him to be so tender & sad to see vicky in that state. (if i’m not mistaken mal was tortured by shepamalum so i don’t know if it hurt extra because he doesn’t want vicky to feel the same pain - or maybe i’m just reaching idk) - it also reminded me so much of bont. vicky used to see bont when he was weak and locked in his tower, and now hes seeing her when she’s weak and locked away in the dungeon.

+ when vicky said that he was so warm whilst he was using his powers to ease her discomfort, he became sad and “froze as if unable to move” - like you can’t tell me that he doesn’t care about her

and even throughout the rest of the episodes, it always feels like he has an eye on her. trying to get her to pull her head out of her ass and push her in the right direction.

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR MALBONTE RANT, I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM LATELY, and OMG OMG u noticed that too?????? it's subtle but he's been keeping an eye on her, it feels like he always knows what's going on with her, that's why i love this underrated scene

bc this time he was surprised and HE WAS LOWKEY SCARED ABOUT FINDING VICKY IN PLAGUE'S OFFICE, but he's SOOOOOOO good at hinding emotions so he just tenses, ugh i'm obsessed with him

[shoutmonishere]

THIS ONE GOES OUT FOR @/LOZ-THE-NOOB FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO FILL IN THIS

THIS ALSO GOES OUT FOR YOU EVA ENJOYERS OUT THERE THAT'S (for whatever reason) LOOKING AT MY SHIT—

~~~

1. My first impression of them

To be honest? Despite the fact that she's constantly rotating in my head rn. I didn't exactly have much to say when she was introduced way back into the prologue—

I honestly forgot she existed until she was re-introduced in a later chapter-

BUT AFTER THAT POINT ON, I LOVE HER SO MUCH- /P

7. A quote of the that you remember

"There are things you cannot avoid"

If you mean something other than the voicelines, then unfortunately not (mostly because she rarely appears in the story anyways— praying to KakaoGames™ that she gets some sort of significance please—)

17. What do you think their first word was?

Unfortunately, i have not gone that far back to headcanon anything, haha- so pass.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

That she may or may not have gotten indoctrinated into a cult while she lost her memory....?

Save for a select, trusted few-

29. How would you think they would be as a parent? (And if they are a parent how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

Aight now this leaves me puzzled, since she technically is and isn't a parent—

Uhh i'll pass, sorry.

30. The funniest scene they had?

THIS

BECAUSE GIRL

WHO DO YOU THINK

YOU ARE FOOLING

AND THEN, AND THEN SHE JUST FUCKING VANISHES WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHY SHE EVEN SHOWED UP AS HE IDOL ALTER EGO-

LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT OF SHOWING UP LIKE THAT

She's so smart but stupid—

God i love her /p

[throwingmuses]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 :3c

1. song that makes me happy: needles in the camel's eye - brian eno

2. song that makes me sad: the story of an artist - daniel johnston

3. song that made me cry: moonshiner - uncle tupelo (reminds me of my dad :/)

4. song from an underrated artist: turnstile blues - autolux (honestly the entire Future Perfect album is gold i highly reccomend)

5. song from a popular artist: thursday girl - mitski

6. song that makes me feel like i could kill god: packin' a rod - L7

7. song ill never get tired of listening to: burger queen - placebo

8. song from an artist ive listened to for awhile: very ape - nirvana (ive been nirvanapilled since birth...)

9. song from an artist i just found: IOU - metric

10. song i just found and love: alone + easy target - foo fighters (lol)

11. song from my favorite playlist: hmmm idk i have a lot of playlists on heavy rotation but how bout uhh. treason - naked raygun

12. song thats in a movie: perfect day - lou reed

13. song that should be in a movie: ok like literally any and all of the segues across failure's entire discography

14. song i'd make everyone listen to: its not a single song per se but i am constantly begging people to listen to the entirety of what i consider to be the best album in existence, which is none other than... fantastic planet by failure

15. song i relate to: don, aman - slint

16. song that makes me nostalgic: anything by they might be giants tbh

17. song that makes me want to fall in love: well i AM in love 🥰 but id say that a song that captures that well is ask for answers - placebo...

18. song that makes me want to burn the world down: kerosene - big black obviouslyyy

19. song thats from my favorite genre: idk if i have a specific favorite genre :/ so ill just say... the pod - hum cuz thats a goddamn grand slam

20. song ive reccomended to someone: Hello Have You Heard About Our Lord And Savior Failu-- (also constantly trying to get ppl to listen to throwing muses which has been uhh. unsuccessful)

21. song someone reccomended to me: biscuit - portishead... i now proudly consider myself to be a "Portishead-Head"

22. song that reminds me of a character: i have many but theyre all related to the characters ive made up in my paracosm that im too embarassed to share much about LOL

23. song that has interesting sounds that tickle my brain right: soft scene - autolux

24. song that i want to be my theme song: im going to cheat and say rhiannon - fleetwood mac cuz thats the song i was named after :P

25. song i want to hear in a grocery store: idk why but. susans house - eels

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! :D

[departmentofhearts]

Be Alert! The world needs more Lerts! But, really - don't read on if you are sensitive.

SHAME - the ghost of a pain

This song was set to languish in demo state forever. It doesn't fit with the new album which is a vastly different world (first single out early 2025) and it was written after Black Heart, which right scattered my big feelings everywhere, so when the dust settled I just wanted to recalibrate and turn the page.

But then the Royal Commission Abuse in Care Report came out a few months ago in New Zealand and each tale told by survivors for the report were the darkest things I have read - theirs were harrowing stories of survival and betrayal, yet to be brave enough to talk about what happened and where it all went wrong - is to grant a gift to us all, as painful as it is to hear. So I thought about my song Shame and how quietly undone I felt within it - this song is on stolen time and shouldn't even be a thing, I would love to have written about anything else except this. But out of the heart, the mouth speaks. And the words I wrote are a direct reference to how lost I was in the New Zealand justice system - how failed I was and undeniably left with secondary wounding after I reported abuse by my step father. Not a fun space to write a song from.

Quick Overview: I was sexually abused between the ages 8-12. The NZ Police, family and adults who were supposed to protect me, rotated between blaming me (I was a child) and then calling me a liar over and over again, obliterating my trust in the world from then on. I have my file of interviews and police reports and it's a grim document that I wished I hadn't had to read - ineptly investigated, biased, infuriating and very sad - should be filed under: Everything Thats Wrong With The World. As a result, the last few years since obtaining this file I have needed to monitor my rising waterline of sadness before the despair takes over, which is like being thrown into the Swamp of Sadness next to Artax (horse from Neverending Story... you KNOW the scene, it's wrecked us all). This is the impact, the lasting effects of trauma - an enemy of hope, it's a brutal refrain.

So, in between albums my song Shame gets a release, not with the usual PR but a gentle push into the outgoing tide, to be found by people who might need it. And this is the last installment of my *direct referencing* these events. I am leaving the valley of dry bones and have pulled myself back together with parts that were strewn all over the show like Mr Potato Head with feet for hands, but I will be here, there and everywhere mainlining my authenticity, my honesty and fearlessness ...and my massive love for a good song, knowing full well the magic it can do in the right moment.

xo Miriam

Of Note:

*Last year I was extensively evaluated by ACC New Zealand and officially declared 25% permanently impaired from the abuse and following treatment by authorities.

*2 weeks ago I received an apology from the New Zealand Police by the Detective assigned to review my case. I was told they have changed their ways and procedures now surrounding child sexual assault reporting - that I deserved better and that they let me down.

*My ex-step father is still a beloved (so-called) pillar of the community. The Palmerston North press even did an article on his retirement a few months ago on how wonderful he is and how much they will all miss him. This man continues to deny any/all abuse which spanned 3-4 years of my childhood with the most damaging of those times being when, at age 11 with peritonitis he kept me for weeks from any outside medical help for his own unhindered 24/7 access to me - a sick kid, stuck in bed. Surgeons had to remove gangrene from my stomach to save my life. He has faced no consequences for his actions. And I was not the only girl that's reported this man. This is a snapshot of deep systemic issues within my beautiful homeland of Aotearoa, and its unacceptable but no surprise that New Zealand - as reported by the BBC - has by far the highest youth suicide rate in the developed world.

[memo14g]

Medical Training (6/24) || Hyesung Yun (UCI)

Today was a LONG day filled with lots of information and hands on training! After learning all about the dental roles at Dr. Bui’s clinic with 5 other dentists, we headed to MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center to get trained for medical training. We were separated into groups and rotated between 7 stations led by doctors and student leaders. The first station I began my training was how to use and understand EKGs. Dr. Au-Co Nguyen taught us where to place the leads and how to read and understand the EKG reading. She was able to provide detailed and helpful tips on where to place the leads on the patient. After we rotated to OBGYN station to learn about cervical cancer and how we will be assessing the patients in Vietnam. Then we move over to blood cholesterol, glucose, and pressure measuring stations to get familiar with how to measure them for patients. After we were trained with basic Vietnamese terminologies that we should be familiar with to communicate with patients in Vietnam. Personally, this was one of my favorite stations because it was fun and interactive to learn a new language but also was very helpful to get familiar with common words that we will encounter when we speak with the patients in Vietnam. Lastly, we finished with the CPR training station. Although we all began training early in the morning learning both dental and medical roles, it was very rewarding to be a part of this team to work together. The medical training helped me gain more knowledge in how to help these underserved communities in Vietnam and was inspired by everyone who work behind the scenes to make this happen. I felt prepared and ready to begin this trip!

Above: Dr. Au-Co Nguyen teaches how to take EKG.

Above: Catherine teaches step-by-step on how to take blood cholesterol.

Above: Elaine and Jules teaches how to measure blood glucose.

Above: Justin measuring blood pressure on Hyesung.

[chicago-geniza]

jenna should come back in season 4 as a fully-realized ~creature of the night more confident in her supernatural abilities & secure in her monstrous appetites & having, in the interim, gone on a sexual journey of discovery (she's a lesbian, duh) & the show's timeline is perfect for her to be doing a junior year abroad in england & what i'm saying is she & nadja should fuck but also become close confidantes