#rosie if you read all this just know you are amazing
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hi dear, hru? if i could eat your theme for breakfast, lunch and dinner I'd die a happy human it's super cute and crunchy even though i forever will memorise the green themes you'll still manage to pull it off
BUT i genuinely need your opinion on bllk side characters (shidou, ness, aiku, barou and maybe karasu) rate them spell your favourite and last favourites because I'm ready to set up a chair with side of tea and listen to them rambles :3
im currently running away from deadline hello. pls don't tell them im here bae : D (i really need to lock in);;;; my love, as someone whose country is full of sour strawberries you kinda scare me. but i heard overseas strawberries are sweet tho so!!! also girl :(( im :((( wait im bad with praises but pls know i love ur themes and u especially skskdhfsf
now. to my bullshit. (please do know YOU are asking for this okay ^^) so while i put my yappings down the read more to spare some poor souls, tldr: honestly i cant really pick faves simply because my ass is indecisive as hell and i constantly switch rankings lololol and like when it comes to fictional character honestly as long as they manage to catch my eyes (whether by being amusing, complicated and so on) they are immediately an okay to me. and bllk is pretty good at making entertaining charas no matter how much of an asshole they are. so, yeah, this ranking rn is more of "what i can see from whatever spotlight was given to them and how much it makes my personal taste raises an eyebrow character-wise rn": aiku > shidou > ness = barou > karasu (give crow man more spotlight im begging)
shidou: honestly he is like. a force of nature himself. and also remember that one trivia on why he cries? yeah, that trivia honestly raise him up so much in my eyes it's kinda insane. but he is hard to write because i do n o t get him. i wish i do tho, he seems interesting and he praised isagi. already a pretty cool guy in my book, if we ignore the whole other package on the side but hey what is someone without spice. solid 8/10. the fact the first person he really kinda gets on with was sae is also hilarious. like talk about not seeing it coming. common knowledge that bllk side charas deserves more screentime bUT BOY. does this guy really deserve and need it (going back to isagi for a bit but i really want to see isagi work with types he really clashes with like shidou and reo. not even as a simp, but isg is our main pov so. like. isagi dissect this guy's brain pls. or hey light novel pls)
ness: despite his whole relationship with isagi i don't wanna deck him the same way i do to kaiser. absolute soggy wet meow meow to me, whoever calls him babygirl has taste. if i have to say anything is that i really hope his growth will be outside of kaiser. when a character is connected to much to another character in a canon setting, let's just say i can see why people like it but i prefer it when the narrative forces them to face the horror and save themselves in one way. honestly, a goofy guy who i wish to see develop more in the same way barou did. like we know kaiser will (unless the plot twist is twisting) but seeing a character like him who gets stereotyped as a "masochistic, dependent sidekick" by most getting more dimension and spotlight? yeah honestly i really want that. but for now... yeah im sorry but my personal score is 6/10 (but i really hope he will rise up because him being a dark horse in the narrative will be a breath of fresh air honestly)
aiku: i left bllk the first time right before u20 so let me tell you how amused i am when this guy is more than what i expected. if bllk wc team doesn't have him as captain im asking ego WHY. like as a captain? aiku really got my respect. like his canon cheating aside, one of the most decent dudes who can admit their faults out loud. if bllk was about defender instead of striker he would SHINE as a main rival. he kinda already does tho. the whole cop roleplay with isagi was so funny in an amusing way. honestly i really like his writing as a character. very mature, but his selfish bet was really telling of the another side of his character too. 7.5/10. minus point because i cant write him and im mad about it!!! (aka in all serious: 8.5)
barou: first time reading bllk, when isagi chose him i think it becomes one of those moments that really cements bllk. like?? the canon fodder villain who usually was just relevant in the first arc???? become one of the main rivals now???? also he is so housewife and why lmao. also put him and rin in a room. it will either end with a massacre or just them ignoring each other. honestly tho, he is funny to me because this guy has the Deep Voice but then he opens his mouth, call himself king, also dye his hair before uber vs bm match, and i remember how he truly is lmao. also the bowling and his whole dynamic with nagi are so entertaining. like nagi doesn't have to try to piss him off. hilarious. as a chara, 7/10, minus point simply because while dating him in rl sounds like a healthier option, i like my man a blaring red flag. on field a 9/10 because his whole asshole personality comes out and things get interesting
karasu: this guy is like. i am really mixed about him because i think fanon give him more dimension and raises more interesting points than canon has done him so far. but honestly, considering self aware he was and the rare moments the series gave him? he is an interesting character to have in a sport manga. this guy is realistic as shit, and he is also very self-aware of his own downsides. like. read his trivia. this guy is interesting honestly. another one i wish will work with isagi simply just to see more of him. also he is such a little shit but he is funny about it so it's okay. so, yeah, canon wise i don't really can say much about him (yet? idk). but there is this version of him i seen in a gen fic from the red white holy websites of fanfic that just makes me: yo. i wanna see more spotlight on this crow. so uhhhh 6/10 too?
#babblings#rosie if you read all this just know you are amazing#also this was a nice break thanks bae#god this was kinda long but that is the art of yapping#im kinda sticking to canon and its impression a lot for this haha;;;
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hourglass
in which spencer disappears from fem!reader's life entirely for three months, right as it seems they were finally about to make things official. when he comes back they reunite, all the while knowing things can't be the same as they were.
18+ (smut, angst) warnings/tags: oh god so many. NOT canon compliant in the slightest, i make shit up, softdom!spence, nipple stuff prob, fingering, oral f receiving, piv sex, unprotected sex, pet names, tara mentioned, depression, mentions of trauma cause its the prison arc duh, passing mentions of alcohol, mentions of spencer losing weight, reader mistakenly thinks spencer tried to kill himself BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND, where is diana reid, nobody knows or cares, probably filming glee, optimistic ending a/n: haven't posted smut in forever but this wip required it and the angst was so angsty i just had to finish it. it was started in jan or feb and subsequently added to and changed months apart and then edited so the writing quality varies from section to section which i apologize for. originally based on good guy by julia jacklin... also the odyssey by homer? can't really explain that one you'll just have to see for yourself anyway byeeee ilysm!!! PLS tell me if you liked it! or if you hated it! but preferably if you liked it! MWAH! wc <12k
It’s been about three months since you last saw Spencer Reid.
About three months since you had an early Valentine’s Day celebration (even though you weren’t a couple) complete with champagne (even though he doesn’t usually drink) and slow dancing (even though you swore you’d be terrible and he spent the first ten minutes laughing at you as you stepped on his toes.)
About three months since you finally settled your head on his shoulder and let the warbling vinyl carry you somewhere distant as the two of you danced slow circles on the parquet floor for what felt like hours.
You’d have liked him to stay later that night. You’d have liked him to stay all night if you were being honest with yourself, but at 11:45 he gently pulled away and told you he had to go.
“Curfew?” you joked, the corner of your mouth lifting a little and you hoped you were hiding your disappointment well.
“Actually, I’m going down to Texas for a few days to speak with one of the leading doctors in experimental Alzheimer's and dementia treatment. I’m going to see if he can get my mom into a clinical trial. I leave early tomorrow morning.”
“Oh my god, that’s amazing, Spencer! What are you doing still here? You should be at home getting ready to go!”
A rosy blush stains his cheeks and he looks down at the ground, laughing that little self-deprecating laugh of his. It makes your heart dance to see him so happy, makes you want to wrap your arms around him and never let him go so that he knows how much you absolutely adore him—but you settle for an affectionate squeeze where your hands have come to rest on his biceps.
“I wanted to see you tonight because I won’t be here for Valentine’s Day... but I still really wanted to spend it with you,” he admits meekly.
If before your heart was dancing, it is now melting.
The dreaded ‘what are we’ talk has been lurking in the dark corners of every conversation you have with each other lately—at least, in your mind it has. What you have with Spencer is not easily defined, and near impossible to explain to your friends—you act like a couple, you go out on dates, he introduces you to his team like you’re his girlfriend without ever putting it into so many words—but this validation that your pseudo-relationship might be evolving is better than any flowers he could have gotten you (although the peonies he brought will look very nice on your bedside table.)
“Four whole days... what will I do without you?” you whisper, brushing a hand along his face, and your chest aches with the heavy truth of it—despite the fact that he often is gone for stretches about that length. They don’t ever start to feel shorter.
“Well, you can start by reading that copy of The Odyssey I annotated for you.”
“Depressing,” you admit. “And a little ominous, considering you’re about to embark on a hero’s journey.”
“I think you’ll like this one,” he smiles.
You chew on your bottom lip, looking up at him as you think.
“Give me something to look forward to,” you say, earnestly.
“I—well, honestly, I just really want to kiss you and I’ve wanted to for a long time now and, you know, if that’s something you’re maybe also interested in then we could, uh, figure out a time to—”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Wh—you couldn’t tell?” Spencer says, like he can’t believe it.
As if on reflex, you lunge up and capture his lips with your own. It obviously catches him by surprise, but when you lower from your tiptoes he follows you, pulling you in closer and holding your face in his hands.
It’s too natural, too right, to be exhilarating. There’s no rush of adrenaline—it's more like stepping into a hot bath or warming your freezing hands at a fire. Like pieces clicking into place. It’s a relief.
You breathe into it, letting more and more of yourself melt against him. He keeps coming back to you deeper and deeper like a rising tide, and you want more than anything to keep getting closer to him—but then he stops. He stays close enough for you to breathe his air, but dodges your kiss gently before supplanting it with a gentle one to the corner of your mouth.
“I really have to go,” he breathes, before moving away from your mouth to kiss your forehead and speak softly against your skin. “If I don’t leave now I’ll be here all night.”
Which is exactly what you want, and the implication does little to make you want him less. But you care about him too much to be so selfish.
At some point, his hands found their way into your hair, and you gently grab his wrists.
“Incentive for you to come home.”
Nearly three months since that night.
At first when he stopped answering texts, you’d assumed he just had too much going on down in Texas. Which you could understand—you knew how stressful this situation with his mother was.
Even when four days came and went without even an alert from him that he was back in town, you thought, okay, maybe he’s been called away on a case. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s disappeared because of his work. But even then, he’d at least text you enough information so that you would know he was alive. Now, radio silence.
So you tried not to be clingy. You tried to act like an adult, to focus on school and your life outside of Spencer, but when Tara Lewis cancelled your weekly meeting due to an “unforeseen work-related emergency”you called her immediately. Tara was something of a mentor, and it was she who had connected you and Spencer to begin with. You had met the other members of his team by that point, yes, but none who you knew as well as Tara.
When she had informed you that Spencer had been arrested in Mexico and was now facing prison time for murder, you laughed.
Laughed until you realized her end of the line was silent.
Realized it was not at all a joke.
In a catatonic state of tranquility, you asked her for more details. Beyond assuring you of his innocence, she couldn’t (or more likely, wouldn’t) provide them. Asked where he was now. Asked all the right things that made sense to ask.
Then you hung up and had a panic attack because Tara said something about 25 years and you saw Spencer evaporate from your future like an apparition.
Slowly, you felt him evaporating from your past, too. Those memories from the night he left, became visions of you swaying with a ghost. Holding nothing but light between your hands as you kissed the peony air of your apartment.
He doesn’t want to see you, she had said into the phone one night, her tinny voice cutting in and out. You’re not on his list of approved visitors.
“You asked him about me?” you had whispered, curled up on top of your made bed in the dark.
I tried. I’m sorry. I’ll call you when I know more.
All your days melded together like a muddied smear of paint. Suddenly you felt you had nothing to look forward to. No anchor, no goal. Yes, a PhD... and then what?
The only thing that punctuated one 24 hour period from the next was the time you spent crying because Spencer was in prison and he didn’t want to see you and by the looks of things you may never see him again. When you weren’t crying, you were thinking about how your life was a big cosmic joke. An unfortunate statistical anomaly that didn’t mean anything to anyone else, and that you couldn’t do anything about.
That copy of The Odyssey, which wasn’t even bound and instead was a thick stack of printer paper organized by a single black clip, became something of a manifesto for you—a tome that your poured over, reading and re-reading each note in the margins, each word beautiful and imbued with meaning because you knew Spencer had selected every single one specifically for you. You traced the letters reverently, because in a way this was the last thing he had said to you—about Lattimore’s faith to the original text, Merrill’s strict use of dactylic hexameter, the stylings of Wilson and Lombardo, and how he thought you would enjoy Hammond’s prose just as much as he did.
Day by day it was becoming more prophetic than fictional, and you allowed yourself to sink into madness. You would rather be a deluded zealot than be nothing at all.
He didn’t want to see you.
He might as well have been dead, for all that you were grieving him. And you started to hate him, because he wasn’t dead, but wouldn’t do you the kindness of proving it. Like a festering wound, scratched open day after day so as not to ever heal, you had to live knowing he was less than an hour away. So no, you weren’t exactly over it. You lived day by day, waiting for the occasional call from Tara to keep you updated on Spencer, but either she didn’t want to share much about how he was doing, or he had specifically barred her from doing so, because she was always sparse on the personal side of things. That thought actually lifted your spirits, because it meant he was at least acknowledging your existence in some tiny way.
But your routine was becoming more regular, and so you staid on top of your classes and your non-Reid related meetings with Tara once a week, and you learned to dip your toes into existential dread and the oily black pool of depression every night without ever fully submerging yourself. You learned hope, because it was pretty much all you had, and the BAU had confidence that they would get Spencer out one way or another so you did too.
So you didn’t really think about it when you missed a couple of calls from Tara some evening in May. You were preparing for finals and had way too much on your plate academically to think about anything else which was a welcome relief so you fully embraced it. I’ll call her back tomorrow, you think, as you clean up from dinner before going back to the living room where your textbooks and papers are completely covering every available surface. Maybe I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life after school, but I’ll be damned if I don’t even make it that far.
Hours later, well into the night, you’d all but forgotten about the calls. A knock at the door takes you a bit by surprise, and you frown as you stand again, tugging your Georgetown sweatshirt down over your shorts as you shuffle to the entrance of your apartment. You’re not expecting anyone, so you crack the door, peering around the edge of it.
And you couldn’t even consider trying to hide that shaky inhalation of dead air when you see Spencer standing on the other side.
Surely you’re hallucinating.
Surely this man in front of you who looks like he just got back from a day of work didn’t spend three months in prison pretending you didn’t exist.
He looks the same. Hair a bit longer, maybe—and gaunter even more than is normal for him.
But it's him.
You can’t think about the apprehensive look on his face—you can’t think about the impossibility of him being here. You can’t think at all. Without your explicit permission, your body surges forward into his, and he’s real, and alive, and warm, and he is an anachronism in the hallway as he accepts everything you pour into the embrace, doesn’t flinch when you move your arms from around his waist to loop around his neck and back to his waist again with crushing force because you just can’t get him close enough.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer mutters into your hair, I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry, he keeps saying, rubbing your back as you try to find a solid grip on the sleek material of his suit—try to gather all the pieces of him, already afraid he might fall apart and float away again.
“You—dis—disappeared,” you hiccup after an eternity, pulling away enough to look up at his pretty face. Tears blur your vision and darken the front of his jacket, bending the florescent lights so they form a kind of halo above his head.
Through the surreal haze you can see his throat bob.
“I know.”
He knows?
He knows?
You scoff.
“You have no fucking idea, Spencer. What the fuck is wrong with you? I—I'm—”
The hot anger is such a relief for a second, boiling the oceans of your despair into a wrathful, scorching fog, but as soon as you try to tell him how you feel, the barbed wire cuts into your throat again. You shove him away, skin burning where his hands had been.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks, hands hanging uselessly at his side. There’s that kicked puppy look about him—and it’s familiar, but now there’s more damage. You don’t know anything about his time in prison, you haven’t heard a damn thing, but beneath the glassy desperation in his eyes there is an unfathomable void that seems to be preventing him from being fully present—and you realize for the first time that he is different.
It chills you.
Before, you and Spencer shared everything. There wasn’t one part of his internal machinations that you didn’t understand, nothing you kept from each other. But as you study him now from a few feet away, you realize there might as well be a yawning chasm between the two of you.
He is so different.
Those eyes look deeper. No gears turning just behind the slashes of gold and brown anymore—only an endless dark corridor that goes places you will never go.
Gone is the perpetual boyish up-turn at the corner of his lips that always made him look slightly vacant in a way that you found incredibly amusing. Something you had been so fond of, even if you teased him.
He seems to have aged ten years—if not physically, then in demeanor. And now you feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum.
You cross your arms, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.
You’re embarrassed. And pissed. And relieved. Everything is worse and better. You want to fall back into his arms, but you have been jarred by the revelation that this might not be the same Spencer. It might not be the same relationship. You have no idea where you stand.
He says your name gently, with so much familiarity you’re briefly jerked into the past. It makes you wish you could look up to find him as he was three months ago. Wish this was just a bad dream. But that’s not fair to him.
“Sorry,” you mutter, studying the grey carpet fibers instead of looking at him.
“Don’t apologize,” Spencer says immediately, “you’re right. I don’t—” he clears his throat— “I’m being incredibly selfish. I shouldn’t have just shown up, I’ll just—I'll leave. I’m sorry.”
A silent moment passes.
You don’t look up as he turns and swiftly begins to move down the hall toward the stairway, leaving as quickly and silently as he had come, like a few bars of a song sighed in and away on a fleeting breeze.
Your bare feet are concretely planted, imagining him jogging down the steps and speed-walking away from your building—
And suddenly you’re sprinting after him, feeling like you might puke because Spencer was just here and you let him go again—and even though you’re still so mad and confused and hurt, the realization that he is leaving again makes the entire building spin and lurch.
“Wait!” You yell, almost wiping out as you run down the stairs and whip around corners in your slippery fucking socks. “Please, wait!”
The lobby is already empty as you spill out into it, and cold dread tightens around your neck like a fist as you shoulder your way through the double doors and right into Spencer.
“Please don’t leave again, you just—I'm sorry, I really need you to not go—” you blabber, lachrymose once more, gripping onto his forearms for dear life.
“I’m not going,” he breathes shakily. “I tried to leave because I think you were right and maybe I should and maybe it would be better for you but I can’t.”
“You can’t,” you agree, more sob than spoken word. He cups your jaw, then your cheeks, wiping tears and brushing away hair like he can’t figure out how to hold enough of you between his hands. The wild kaleidoscope of his eyes, bright and alive and real as he scans you desperately captures your attention enough to slow the tears to a trickle. He notices this and stares back, entranced.
A silent agreement is made, or maybe an inevitable fate is accepted—either way, something was set in motion three months ago and it matters to see it through. Spencer kisses you and you’re ready for it. You don’t need slow or tender. You need to feel how he feels. You need to know what he knows.
You sling your arms around his neck and he pulls you closer until you almost tip backward, chasing the bruising kiss even as you regain your footing. You want to drink him in and you do your best, breathing deeply as he kisses you deeper, backing you inside and toward the elevator.
“Is this okay?” he manages, only after blindly reaching for and mashing the up button on the wall panel.
Ideally it wouldn’t happen like this, but the world you live in obviously isn’t ideal and your personal situations as they coincide are far from ideal, so this is how it has to happen. But it’s hard to explain, and you’d rather not admit that this is so far from what you wanted for both of you and follow up with the fact that despite that you need him like you need water. So you don’t say a word as the metal doors slide open promptly. Instead you pull him in and let him press you to the chrome wall as he hits your floor button, and that very hand comes back to grab your ass like you didn’t think Spencer Reid capable of. It almost aches as his fingers dig into the flesh, but it’s a good ache because it means he’s real and he’s there.
You gasp as he hitches your leg up, arching into him. The shorts that you’re wearing leave very little to the imagination to begin with, but they become downright indecent like this.
Quickly the elevator stops and the doors hiss open. You don’t hesitate to pull Spencer by the hand down the hall. When you notice you left your door wide open, you don’t even care. Neither does he, apparently—once you’re inside he slams it shut, flipping the deadbolt while his eyes are glued to you like you’re already naked. Now Spencer is shameless in the way he drags his eyes over every curve, every place your clothes and hair are disheveled from his touch and eye-fucks you so obviously it makes your face warm. Three months ago Spencer would have at least been bashful about it when he met your eyes again, but this Spencer is far from apologetic as he pins you with his burning gaze once more. His hand stays stuck to the door like he’s holding himself back.
“Is this what you want?”
There’s an undercurrent of sorrow below the gravely arousal, like this isn’t what he wanted for the two of you either. But you’re both at the mercy of fate. This is all you have, and it might be all you can do for each other anymore. So you don’t need to say that, because he understands.
“Yeah. Yes, this is what I want.”
For just a second more he watches you from his place by the door, and there’s an unexpected softness to it. He looks at you the way he would have looked at you before. Like as long as he stays there he can entertain the idea of being that person again.
Need wins out quickly, though, and he surges forward. Immediately you’re caught in the riptide of him, helpless as he kisses you all the way to your bedroom.
He’s never been in here before. You find yourself glad it’s relatively clean—one of the pastimes you’d picked up in his absence was keeping everything tidy. It was something you could control.
A lamp glows at your bedside. You lean against the footboard of your bed, hands timidly behind your back and suddenly shy to have in him in your intimate space. Both of you set aside the heaving desperation long enough to catch your breaths, and for him to scan the room like he too is being forced to reconcile with the innate and unexpected intimacy of the moment. He cuts a harsh, dark gash in your sweetly decorated bedroom, radiating something wild and powerful and unsure of himself like a chained bull as he takes in the soft, pale bedding, the paintings and photos taped to the walls, the woven rug and the sheer drapery. His breathing slows as he studies it all—eyes eventually catching on something behind you. Looking is unnecessary. You’re sure he’s spotted the dried peonies in their ceramic vase. Or maybe the now worn stack of papers that is his Odyssey, marked up and soft around the edges from constant flipping-through.
Then Spencer looks at you, and that softness seeps in again. Along with something like... fear? Grief?
In some other universe your first time with Spencer is sweet and giggly and kind and he smiles at the decor in your room and looks around with wonder because it’s another way he gets to know you. It’s a different way to learn you from the inside.
You sense that he’s caught in between universes right now as well, painfully aware of what he would have given you that he can’t anymore.
He breathes your name like an apology, and foolishly you let a second go by in which you think he might offer you one. But he doesn’t. Not with his words, anyway. His eyes tell a different story.
“It’s fine,” you say unprompted on a whispered exhale, then a little louder as you push off the footboard, crossing the space until your hands are on his chest. You focus on his tie, not making eye contact as you rush to undo it. “It’s fine.”
He lets you do this for a few seconds before finally covering your trembling hands with his own. You still can’t meet his eyes.
“We don’t have to do—”
“No! No, please. I want to. I need—I need us to be okay.”
“Hey,” he murmurs, catching your chin and forcing you to look at him. “We are okay. Me and you are fine.”
It’s a pretty thought, but it’s not true. In fact, it’s a hideous and abject affront to the truth. Sure, maybe you’re fine in comparison to last week. Maybe anything feels fine compared to an eight by six cell. But it would be impossible for you and Spencer, for your relationship, whatever that relationship may be, to be fine. It’s especially impossible for him to make that claim, after all he did or rather didn’t do while he was gone. What you need is for him to stay anyway. What you need is to find a way to be with him, to exist with him, even when you are so clearly not fine.
“I just need you to stay,” you whisper, and he’s already nodding, wide-eyed like he’d do anything for you. You ignore all the bitter venom rising in your throat. You pretend this isn’t all happening after he cut you out of his life with a dirty switchblade. Instead you focus on his hands on yours, the familiar smell of him, which invites you to let go of each and every thought and worry. He must’ve showered before coming here, you realize. How long has he been out? What happened?
“Okay. Okay, I can stay. What else can I do? How do I make it better?”
You sniffle and look back down.
“You can untie that for me.”
He hesitates, then nods some more, fingers working under yours to undo the tie around his neck.
“Okay.”
A moment goes by and after that final whispered word, the tension begins to build again. Spencer senses it in the way your fingertips linger on his chest and you step even closer, dragging them down to his belt. The metallic sound of it unbuckling, despite being your own doing, still manages to flip your stomach. How many times have you pictured this? When was the first time you realized you wanted it? You’re sure you haven’t stopped wanting it even once since then.
Spencer tosses the tie away and is shrugging off his jacket now, then before you see it coming he’s kissing you again, ducking down to do it. He feels taller this close up, and especially in your bedroom, where he just seems rather out of place. But you want him here. God, you want him here.
You break the kiss, forced to look down as you fumble with his belt.
“Sorry,” you gasp, embarrassed by your lack of dexterity. The light is barely sufficient to see what you’re doing, especially when he’s wearing black on black and your eyes are still bleary.
“You’re okay,” he assures you, and it’s so Spencer a fresh round of nerves electrifies the tips of your fingers. That thing is happening—the thing you’d hoped to avoid if you hadn’t lost momentum partway through, where you’re allowing your actual feelings for him to get in the way rather than getting swept up in the pathos of the moment and letting everything be easy and mindless. “Here, can I help you?”
But he doesn’t actually wait for an answer before he’s finishing off the belt for you, tugging it loose from his hips till it’s a leather coil in his hands. Your fingers brush the material and he lets you take it as if it were your prize. It’s heavier than you thought it’d be, and you just feel the weight of it in your hands for a moment, your dropped head brushing his chest.
You have a terrible feeling that if you do this now, it doesn’t mean everything will be alright. Because it can’t just go back to normal. Spencer has told you nothing of what must be an enormous trauma, and you haven’t spoken about it at all, but you sincerely doubt that after this he’s going to be ready to just jump into that committed relationship the two of you had been toying with for months before his absence. You’re almost... scared of him, now. Scared of where he’s been and what he’s endured—things you’re sure you couldn’t have taken. What that does to a person, you can’t imagine. He seems so solid and real in front of you now—but you know that’s not always enough. Maybe you’re just scared that somehow whatever he’s been through will have made him care for you less. That you were too far removed from the whole ordeal, and now you’ll never understand. If you could understand, maybe you could fix it for him. Maybe he’d stick around.
Still—even if you do end up pushing him further away in the long run—won't it have been worth it to have had him so completely, even just once?
You toss the belt to the ground, compressing all of these very complicated thoughts and feelings into a few seconds so short he can’t ask you any questions about them. Instead you find his top button, and just as you manage to undo it with relative ease he’s gently grabbing your wrists. You look up at him, immediately surrendering.
“If we’re going to do this I need you to relax a little bit.”
Gears grind in your chest. You feel need and anxiety comingling in every square inch of your body. It’s a sick buzz—a high on an empty stomach.
“I can’t,” you admit.
“Yeah, you can,” Spencer gently disagrees, slowly lowering your hands. When he’s sure you’re not going to try ripping his clothes off again, he releases, and his eyes lower to the zipper of your hoodie. His fingers follow, warm against the soft triangle of revealed skin at your chest as he grips the small piece of metal between barely shaking fingers. “You can.”
You match his eyeline, breathing shallowly and watching as he slowly drags the zipper down. You wonder if that sound has haunted his fantasies the way the sound of his belt has haunted yours. If he’s seen this hoodie on you and wondered what’s underneath, staring at you and daydreaming during movie night with you none the wiser.
Both of you have your eyes glued to the span of skin as the zipper parts. Spencer stalls with the zipper at your sternum, just below the band of your bra.
Right. No shirt.
You look up and find his eyes already on you, tinged with a curious kind of humor.
“I wasn’t expecting guests.”
The words come out shy. Spencer’s chuckle has its own nervous airy quality as he resumes tugging on your zipper, leaning down until your noses bump.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
Then he kisses you again, a little sweeter now. Sweet enough to give you butterflies and for them to flutter right out of your stomach and spill from your lips in a little whimper against his.
It comes as a surprise when he pushes the fabric from your shoulders without looking or asking. Not that you’d have said no—you're just underprepared for how assertive he is in this foreign context.
Left just in your flimsy shorts and your thin bra, you feel quite exposed—but Spencer’s hands are as demanding and hungry as his mouth. They skim up your sensitive sides and sweep lower, suggesting less proper placement over your ass and pulling at your bottoms until you gently put a stop to their wandering.
“Wait. We’re... we’re uneven.”
It’s a struggle to get any words out at all when he keeps chasing your lips, nipping at you like he physically can’t stand not kissing you, but they catch his attention and he laughs airily, pulling back to let his gaze pour over your less clothed form. It lingers and catches and lights you up everywhere it touches, drops of heat soaking into your skin and making you feel all fuzzy and needy.
“We are,” he acknowledges, tone low and colored with the faintest smile. “You’re a lot prettier without your clothes on than I am.”
“I don’t believe you.”
The challenge comes immediately and thoughtlessly. Spencer’s golden eyes flash up to yours. He’s breathing a little harder than usual.
“You want me to show you what I mean?”
If that means getting him naked, then yes, absolutely.
You nod, but rather than immediately stripping, he takes your hand and holds his own open next to it. A thick pink scar bisects some pretty significant palmistry lines, but you don’t mention that. Instead you swallow—your thoughts, your words, your nausea.
“That’s new.”
You wonder how you hadn’t noticed it earlier.
He nods.
“A lot is new.”
It sounds almost like he’s challenging you—there's a kind of tremulous force in his voice, despite the perpetual softness there, like he’s inviting you to say it’s ugly. And you realize he’s referring to more than just the glowing scar cutting an asteroid trail against the flesh of him palm. The scars he obtained in prison must form a constellation over his body.
“I don’t care. I wanna see you.”
Spencer swallows, cupping your face with the scarred hand once more. You can’t feel it against your cheek but you know it hasn’t gone away.
“I’m sure you think you do,” he permits, and that’s where the conversation ends for the moment—with his hand on your face and his lips back on yours. “For now why don’t you let me worry about you?”
Obediently, you breathe, “okay.”
This is, for whatever reason, amusing to him. The brief levity dies as quick as it comes like a snuffed-out brush fire as soon as he lets his hands fall back down to your hips.
“I want... I want to give you slow. But...”
But slow is for people who didn’t lose three months of their life. Slow is for people who don’t know what it’s like to be starving. Slow is not for the desperate.
You understand the feeling.
“I don’t need slow.”
You’ll let him use you up like quick-burning fuel if that’s what he needs. You’ll go as fast and as bright and as hot as he tells you.
“But you want slow,” he murmurs, a secret acknowledged into your own waiting mouth. You’d keep it there forever. You could be the object he hides his soul in. “I know you do. You deserve to get what you want.”
“I can go fast. I want whatever you can give me.”
Spencer’s shuddering exhale is like a drug, dizzying as you inhale it and your eyes flutter at the high, pressed head-to-head with him. For so long you’ve needed him so badly. It’s overwhelming to have him now, all over you. If only your walls could breathe him in the way you are, if this room could remember what it feels like to hold him the way you will, if any inanimate object could bear witness to how you’ll give yourself, any part of yourself, over to him, so willingly.
“I’m going to try.” Spencer’s voice is hoarse as he walks backward to the bed, taking you by the hips as he goes. “I want to do it right. I want to do this the way I... the way I imagined it, before...”
Now he’s sitting, and you’re standing between his legs as he finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, his fingers a comforting pressure where they ghost down the slope of your back. Your heart is pounding at the confession, at the way his tongue darts over his bottom lip and his fingertips journey back up to your straps, looking up at you with haloed irises as if he’d find anything other than the most dangerous kind of smoldering devotion in your eyes—the kind cult-leaders seek and spend years nurturing, and he’d earned with a mere brush over your bare skin.
The fabric slides down your arms, and as it falls to the floor, you watch something like despair flash-flood his eyes. It is a deep, distinctly human grief. The ineffable kind where something is almost too beautiful; so perfect it offends the mortal senses because it should be permanent, but nothing is, and the clash of divine beauty with unstoppable time which oxidizes copper and covers marble with vine is almost as grotesque as metal rending delicate flesh. It is the grief that drove the first poet to write and the first parents to press their baby’s painted hands to the walls of a cave. It is the desire to do the impossible—to capture ephemeral perfection and make it eternal, and the knowledge that it is hopeless. You recognize it because you’ve felt it for him.
“I thought about you all the time,” he whispers, doesn’t bother calling you beautiful but you don’t mind because he’s telling you with his hands and his eyes and the waver of his voice. “When I was gone, I thought about you—”
You’re just as quiet, just as soft.
“Don’t, Spencer.”
He doesn’t get to tell you about when he was gone. Not now. Not after he acted like you didn’t exist.
“Okay.” He swallows the things he’d wanted to tell you like you choked on the things you needed to tell him for three months. “I’m sorry.”
But his hands—his hands are perfect over your waist and his lips are perfect where they kiss your ribs like they’re his homeland. You could forgive a thousand wrongs for each kiss he puts to your skin. Light from the full moon stretches over the room like a blessing from the cosmos, and you have every intention of making the most of that gift, how the silver gilds the planes of his face and highlights curls like they were carved, and invites you to search for something in each shadow.
Some of his kisses land over the sensitive skin of your breasts though you doubt he has much intention or that there is any sort of end-goal with the trail he blazes—in fact, you have to root your hand in his hair and pull gently back when he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s making you wait again. His eyes are glassy and cheeks slightly pinkened—you weren’t expecting this wave of fondness to knock you on your ass but here you are, falling all over again.
“You don’t have to go that slow.”
A slow smile splits the heart of his mouth at your bashful tone and he’s emboldened to bring his hands higher for a moment, thumbs brushing particularly delicate though not downright indecent spots. Nonetheless, your breath catches.
“Impatient girl,” he scolds, and though it’s lighthearted it still inspires heat to dance across your face. Oh, I think I’ve been plenty patient, you itch to say, but you bite it back because it’s only sad and true and unkind.
Still, he gives you the beginning of what you want, really only the tip of the enormous iceberg that is your desire for him, by slipping his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and tugging them down. His hands slide up the fronts of your thighs, tracing the trim of your underwear, and you’d swear he’s not even breathing. The moment one of his hand loops behind your knee and pulls forward until it’s pressed to the mattress and you’re half-kneeling, half standing, desire begins to truly cloud your mind. Manhandling never seemed like Spencer’s style, but when paired with how softly he reveals your hip, pulling gently down on the fabric of your underwear just to admire you up close, you don’t mind it.
More kisses are littered over your stomach, and he takes you by surprise a second time with a quick maneuver landing you on your back and him on top of you.
“I wasn’t doing you justice with my imagination,” he murmurs against your mouth. “I couldn’t have known.”
“Couldn’t have known what?” you pant as he shamelessly digs his fingers into the plush of your ass. You almost hope it bruises.
“How pretty you would be,” he coos like he means it, and you dissolve, slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass. “You were holding out on me.”
It’s a tease, not at all serious, but you manage to hit him with a, “Was not, asshole,” and he chuckles, placating your little hurt with another sticky kiss, and you get another disorienting glimpse of some other timeline where you’re both a little less damaged. Where it’s a little easier.
But in this timeline, his touch becomes starving and ragged and urgent, and you accept the drag of his thumb up your thigh and between your legs, gasping when he runs his knuckles up the center of you. This touch is metal on screeching metal. It does not pretend to be anything more than what it is—brute, powerful, executed to elicit sensation. You get the sense that Spencer’s never touched anyone this honestly, and while you do envy the girls who got to have him gentler, you’ll take this as the compliment that it is. A kind of vulnerability that is nearing primal.
His lips, though—always his lips—are kind when they brush and land on your skin guided by some invisible map. A dip down your neck and chest and then a plunge, his tongue dragging over your hips, chasing the fabric of your underwear as he almost pulls it off and then reroutes, making room for himself between your legs and pushing lace aside to mark the hinge of your inner and upper-most thigh. Your chest heaves and you don’t dare move for fear he’ll stop leaving signs of himself on your body and you won’t be able to reassure yourself that it was real and he was here and it was not another dream.
Because something in you knows, if only consciously recognizing it for the first time now, that he will disappear again. That this may be your only chance.
The desire to make the ephemeral eternal. An impossibility.
He’s clearly losing himself to something, eyes shutting blissfully. You wonder when the last time he let his guard down even a little was. You’re okay with being the thing he gets lost in, even if you’re not exactly okay with him—something you are becoming more acutely aware of as each touch makes a part of you want to cry. Maybe you still have some things in common. A strange pain that doesn’t quite feel like it belongs to you, for one thing.
You slam back into your body as his nose nudges against you through fabric, and his lips catch on cotton as he drags himself up, eventually settling a kiss against the little bow at the waist of your underwear. There he stays, eyes closed, mouth pressed to you.
“Is this okay?”
You swallow, buzzing. Is this really what he wants? After everything?
“You don’t have to...”
“But is it okay with you?”
Nothing more than an airy whisper, you reply, “Yes, if that’s what you want.”
Being emotional at this point seems wrong, but it’s difficult to ignore the fact that you have thought about this before and it’s finally happening but it’s not exactly as you’d imagined it. There is an indelible sadness to it, to the way he’s so hungry for you because he’s been deprived, to the desperation with which he touches you because he’s had everything taken from him.
For a moment, before he tugs your underwear down, he pauses, and you wonder if he’s freezing one moment in time, this moment, and grieving all the other ways it could’ve been, and accepting that this is the way it is going to be. You are.
These higher realms of thought abandon you as he finally pulls the last barrier down your legs and encourages you to spread them further. You don’t have time or energy to be embarrassed, not even by his staring, or the way his eyes dart up to yours and back down again, wide and shining, as if to say, have you seen yourself? Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?
All you feel is the lack of him on you, the pull to have him closer so strong it’s almost sickening because he could be gone at any second. Maybe he understands that because he doesn’t waste anymore time before he’s kissing the most sensitive part of you. The drag of his tongue has you loosing a shuddering cry.
His mouth wanders, making connections you wouldn’t have realized the value of until you feel them on your skin. Your hips buck as he traces you and you’re unable to stop yourself from tangling your hands in his hair. Speech fails you—hell, you can hardly breathe as you watch his with a furrowed brow and parted lips, only expelling air from your lungs in the form of little cries and gasps and failing to hold your hips down to the bed.
The tip of his tongue teases around your entrance and he catches your leg as your foot rises off the bed, slinging it over his shoulder and consuming you more fervently until you have no choice but to moan though you’ve never been one for theatrics. Nobody has done this for you like he’s doing it for you. Locks of hair fall in front of his face and you hold them back for him, shuddering as he shifts his weight and presses the tip of his finger to your cunt.
“Ah—please,” you manage, your first words since he started. Spencer groans against you and the sound is so wonderfully unexpected, so much better than in your dreams. You cant your hips up in further invitation, chirping as he takes it, pushing two fingers into you at once. Your eyes screw shut and you bite back a whine at the slight stretch, unconsciously writhing your hips either to get further away or take him deeper, you’re not sure.
Spencer pulls back, kissing your hips and thighs and pumping his fingers very slowly as you adjust.
“’M sorry,” you pant, “it’s been awhile, I...”
“Don’t apologize,” Spencer says like it’s simple, his own breath coming quicker. “How’re you feeling? Need me to stop?”
“No! No, it feels really good, I feel good.”
He holds your burning gaze, matching it with his own, and his hair is tousled and his cheeks are flushed as he continues to move his hand.
“Yeah?”
“...Yeah.”
This little show of obedience, of call and response, has him smiling before he occupies his mouth with something else once more. It’s a different smile than you’re used to from him, but you decide you don’t at all mind it.
Like that, with his tongue and fingers working tirelessly, your orgasm comes on quickly. The feeling is rare but not entirely foreign, and in that brief moment of utter disconnect between your brain and reality, of sheer white-hot pleasure, you don’t feel you’re missing out on anything at all. How could you be, when you are here and Spencer is here and for a moment all your neurons are lighting up and flashing neon? How could there be anything more to life than the searing feeling of him slowly withdrawing his fingers from you, than your hips between his hands like he’s cradling the world, and his lips, indiscriminate with where they kiss because every part of you is worthy of attention?
You’re reeling, and your legs are gelatinous as he so affectionately sucks the darkest mark yet onto your inner thigh like a parting gift, like he’s signing his trembling work. If you could clamp your legs shut around the almost painful aftershocks you would, but he’s climbing back up your body, so all you can do is wriggle against him and release delayed, stunted little moans. He stops to kiss your neck before he makes it to your mouth and drinks down all your sounds until you’re gentle and pliant for him like you haven’t been yet.
His voice is soft and sympathetic when he speaks. “Better?”
Wordlessly you nod, both comforted and unsettled by how well he knows you. What, exactly, has been made better, you’re not sure. Not trust. You don’t trust him anymore. Something cheaper, but temporarily effective. A sense of permanence, maybe, however fleeting it may be. You’ve completed something with him now, and he’s still here, still sweet.
He looks into your eyes, then, for a moment—and there is just enough light in the room for you to tell yourself that the shadows dancing there as he looks at you are love.
They morph as you watch into haunting, wild hunger. Pained even now.
He sits up abruptly and so do you, scooting back against your headboard and pulling your knees to your chest to protect your pounding heart as Spencer takes you in with darting eyes and quick breaths. His fingers find the collar of his shirt and he begins to unbutton.
“I need you to remember it’s all going to heal.”
He swallows, and you hardly have the wherewithal to study the way he unbuttons his shirt, a way he exists in the world that you had previously not been privy to. The words are too distracting.
“What?”
Sometimes he reminds you of a deer, with those big brown eyes that can’t help betraying anxiety. Moreso in those old pictures he’d shown you from his early days at the BAU—but it shines through occasionally even now. It’s reassuring to know that something inside of his has remained soft.
“Just...” his fingers don’t stop at their task, and you come to the disturbing realization that his knuckles are bruised. “Please don’t freak out, alright?”
Your mouth goes dry, eyes glued to the lengthening span of revealed skin.
And before he even has his shirt fully undone, something isn’t right.
He’s like a Pollack of bruises—starbursts and watercolor blots of discoloration blooming over his side and stomach.
You’re glad the light is off for two reasons: one, being that you don’t think you could handle the bruising in all its glory, and two, you hope the look of horror painted on your face is at least partially obscured from Spencer.
But you can’t. You simply don’t have the gas in the tank to freak out, as he’d said—at least not externally. Those bruises shouldn’t be there, but 96 days is a long time to be gone.
You drag your eyes back to his—nervous, deeply insecure and mistrustful. A deer. Just like those pictures of a 24 year old Spencer in an FBI jacket that was too big for him.
It’s enough to have you scooting on your knees across the mattress to him. Those big eyes stay glued to you as you draw near, falling as you carefully push open his shirt, cautious not to bump any tender spots as it falls to the bed. A flash of white gauze wrapped around his forearm that makes your stomach flip. How? You want to ask. Why?
He doesn’t seem to know what you’re going to do, and neither do you, until you’re grabbing his hands, bruised knuckles and all, and just... holding them for a minute.
“I lost weight,” he says quietly, as if that’s the most shocking thing about his current appearance, though it is noticeable.
“You’re still pretty.”
He smiles at this—a true Spencer Reid smile. Flattened lips, eyes tinged silver with sadness, voice quiet and anxious and wavering.
“I didn’t have a lot to spare.”
A moment goes by.
“I’m not going to ask you about them,” you promise, though you care so much and you want to know but you already understand that he won’t want to tell you.
Another moment. It doesn't surprise you to watch the shiny vulnerability in his eyes to freeze over completely. But he squeezes your hands once in thanks, and you know it’s still the same Spencer.
“Lie down.”
Oh. Right.
This.
You do as he says, taking a deep breath to try and exhale the concern twisting your stomach like a poison. Somehow your room feels so unfamiliar, so new with him in it. Even the whorls on your ceiling look different as you study them, trying to time the pattern of your breathing with the pattern of the paint and plaster and not let the sound of Spencer further undressing quicken your heartrate too much.
Soon he’s coaxing your legs apart again, reverently, and kneeling between them, studying every part of you—lingering not on the parts you’d expect. He traces the scar on your knee with his thumb, follows a line down your thigh to the freckle on your hip. The scrutiny is unnerving and warms you everywhere. Perhaps he senses the microscopic clench of your thighs as you imagine pushing them together, if he weren’t in the way.
“You alright?” He asks, still stroking your hip. Tender again. It’s so hard to keep up.
“I...”
Suddenly your heart beat is a deafening echo in your own ears. The tide of your breathing is too powerful, too in and out and whooshing, leaving you always too empty or too full but never comfortable.
Maybe he’s changed, and he’s harder to know now, but he is the same Spencer. He is the Spencer you’d fallen in love with. The hard part is knowing that now you may never get a chance to tell him that. You don’t know if he’d be able to hear it.
There are things you can’t have with him anymore. Not now, at least. Maybe not ever. But you can have this. It will be different, but you’d rather him be different and here than the same and only in your memory.
You swallow.
“I’m good.”
Tangling your hand in his hair once more, you pull him down into a kiss. It’s hesitant, at first—maybe he can taste your thoughts, where they’d been balancing just on the tip of your tongue. But the uncertainty fades and he kisses you deeper, harder, in a way that is hard to keep up with. You like the messy overwhelm of his lips, teeth, tongue. That’s the only way he knows how to want you.
When you go to wrap your leg around his waist he catches it, running his hands over the soft plush of your thigh. The hard line of him presses against you like memory foam and you gasp and he breathes it in deeply as your brain short-circuits, as you realize this is really going to happen, that you’re going to have him like you’ve never had him before and in ways you’ve only imagined and immediately felt ashamed for.
“Spencer,” you whisper. He ducks to leave open-mouthed kisses along your neck and your eyes flutter shut, craning your neck but not losing sight of your objective as you reach down blindly. When you find what you’re looking for he freezes, groans against your neck at the same time as you breathe the tiniest whimper. Just in your hand he feels impossible, hot and imposing and hard. Your heart palpitates.
Without thinking, you angle your hips up and encourage him closer, until the tip of him is smearing through your folds, and you both go utterly silent like the breath had been stolen right from your lungs. The moment crystallizes, time around you hardening like preserved amber to keep you frozen there forever.
And then he rolls his hips, catching the underside of his cock on the crux of you, and then he does it again, and you choke out a moan and so does he, and it’s beyond perfect—it's nirvana, more than you could ever have conceived of, with his weight pressing you into the mattress, arms caging you in, his heavy breaths hot against your neck and vice versa as you twine together like serpents on a rod, your foot floating in the air as you widen your legs to make more room for him.
And you’re not even fucking yet.
“Oh my god,” you whine, just for him, barely audible under the heavy cloak of night, the thickened air in your bedroom and the sound of panting and fabric shifting. It’s like your heart is trying to reach through your chest to his own where they’re pressed together—that is how hard it’s beating.
Spencer only breathes a long, low curse and shifts so he can grasp himself. Your fingers drift down the shaft of him as he slots himself at your entrance, notching half an inch in and you hold your breath, and you brace yourself—and then he’s kissing you again, but gentler this time. Reassuring. You soften, you can’t not, releasing all your air in a soft gust through your nose, and then he’s pushing in.
Your lips part at the stretch as it fuzzes your mind, but he stays right there, nose pressed to your nose, lips ghosting over your own. He’s not going anywhere, you think, and you’re glad for it, when it burns ever so slightly, and the tiniest whine escapes your open mouth.
“Shh,” he soothes immediately, low and soft, only fractionally louder than you had been. “You’re okay.”
Spencer. Your Spencer.
For a moment, you’re living in that alternate universe. The kinder one. The flash of pain you feel then has nothing to do with the way he’s opening you up.
This is the closest you have ever been, and in some strange way, the furthest apart.
Together, fingers brushing, you guide him until he settles at not quite your deepest point. You can feel that he’s not giving you everything yet, but you’re okay with that, as you adjust to the full feeling. Spencer again senses your desire to close your legs against the deep intrusion, and gives you the best he can by encouraging you to wrap your legs around him.
“Good girl,” he whispers tenderly, nudging at your jaw with his nose and dragging kisses along the ridge of it. Your stomach flips at the moniker and your brain turns to warm sludge as your eyes flutter shut. It makes you feel all light-headed and you flutter around him. Spencer chuckles into the junction of your neck and shoulder and the vibrations send a chill down your arching spine. “I thought you might like that one.”
“Mhm.”
“Mhm. How are you? You okay?”
“’M ready.”
“You’re ready?” His tone is dripping sarcasm and faux-disbelief as he pulls back the slightest bit only to push right back in deeper, this time. Your toes curl, one thigh sliding higher up his waist as you cling to him.
“Fuck,” you manage, a pitiful, high pitched curse tossed to the wind. He echoes the sentiment.
“Oh, my god,” he groans, continuing with that slow pace, “you feel so good, angel.”
You grapple at his back, searching for purchase as your brow knits. “Faster.”
This inspires another breathy chuckle, but he obliges, and you cry out softly. It’s almost unreal, your head buried against his neck, drunk on his scent and the drag of him like a shock felt in the far reaches of your body, again and again.
There’s nothing you can say that will accurately demonstrate what you’re feeling, so you elect not to speak, to remain silent and try to get a grip on this cacophony of sensation and emotion. But it’s too much to be alone with. You feel you have to get it out, to seek understanding. You can’t do it alone.
“Spencer.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t know...” the sentence trails off into a gentle keen. He moves to kiss you, speaking against your lips.
“You don’t know?”
Shyly you shake your head. Spencer sighs wistfully.
“Do you know how much I missed you?”
It’s like he can sense your need for comfort. For something grounding.
And while this topic was off-limits earlier—you're softer now. The stone walls that form your boundaries have been chipped away and lowered.
Spencer continues unprompted.
“I thought about you every day. Every night while I was falling asleep. You were always on my mind, angel girl.”
You whine. Whether it’s pleasure or distress is anyone’s guess—including your own.
“You were gone so long,” you whisper, eyes shut.
At this, Spencer slows again, and the tension that was building settles back to a simmer.
“I know. I wish I could—I wish I could change that. But I’m here, okay? I’m right here with you.”
Then he makes sure you feel every last inch, and it takes your breath away. If your thoughts were any more coherent, they’d be something along the lines of: but for how long? How long until you leave again?
“You’re here.”
You say it like a mantra, once out loud, and then again and again in your head, timed with every clash of your hips. With each repetition he becomes more real. Every little ache, every tingling, head-emptying brush against that most sensitive spot inside proves to you that he could not be any closer. This can’t be faked. It can’t be another dream to wake up in tears from.
“You’re here,” you gasp as it hits you, as it truly sinks in.
“I’m here,” he breathes.
There’s so much you want to say—three months of words you need him to hear, of things you need to talk to him about, things you need to yell at him for and things you can only say crying in his arms and things you can only say laughing or whispering or drunk or half-asleep—and in this moment you can’t manage any of it. Every word condenses into one drop of salt water, drifting away from your eye and down your cheek. Spencer doesn’t tell you to stop crying. He only kisses the tear away, and murmurs I’m here I’m here I’m here over and over again against your skin until he’s not even speaking it out loud anymore. But you feel it. With every brush of his lips, every breath, every movement, you feel it.
Soon he’s adjusting his angle, gradually picking up the pace but retaining that unforgiving depth, and your nails bite into the skin of his back as your jaw drops. Spencer hisses, pressing impossibly closer.
“I’m sorry!” you squeak.
“Do it again.”
“Wh—what?”
“Please,” he begs, low and hot against your jaw, just beneath your ear. “Do it again, honey.”
Honey.
You’d do anything for him if it meant he calls you that again.
When he shifts his weight to one arm and reaches down between your bodies to play with your aching clit in exactly the right way, you don’t really have a choice. You arch and moan wantonly enough to feel embarrassed as your nails scratch down his back. At the same time he’s making noises of his own, and you almost feel guilty for marking him up like this only you think he likes it. The most perfect and troubling tension is building in your core, so taut you almost fear the inevitable rebound when it snaps. But you’re driven to be exactly what Spencer needs right now, and to let him try and be what you need. Even if it scares you. Even if you’re not sure how.
Spencer groans, head tucked to the bend of your shoulder. “I’m not gonna last.”
Any response you might’ve been about to muster is annihilated by a sudden, deep bolt of pleasure.
“’M gonna cum,” you mewl like it’s a secret.
“Are you?” he asks, coming up breathless. If your eyes were open, you’re sure you’d see him above you.
“Mhm.”
“Look at me. Look at me.”
It is unmistakably a command—one you fight to follow.
You cry out as you meet the intensity of his gaze, those shadowy corridors suddenly ablaze and alive. They are not unending, like you’d thought. They are a door thrown open to let the light in, or maybe to let the fire out. They’re open in this moment for you.
No more words are spoken after that—you cum hard, gasping as you fall and spin. Spencer follows very shortly after, like he was holding it together just for you, and your eyes are still locked though everything is a bit bleary.
“Fuck,” you whine as he continues to fuck you for as long as he can, despite your writhing hips, but you’re entranced by him, unable to look away now that you’re hooked. Until he slows to a halt, glances down at your mouth, and you just have time to pray that he’ll kiss you before he does. You whimper against his lips—a plea for understanding. A plea for him to stay, even though this is over. He kisses back so soft and sweet it’s like he can read your mind. Echoes of I’m here I’m here I’m here still buzz across your skin. His eyelashes tickle your cheek. Your heart stops beating quite so quickly, melting and warm like the rest of your body.
Soon the kissing ceases and you’re just breathing together, trapped and faced with the knowledge that it must end just the same as you had waited for it to start.
Eventually the air between you becomes mostly carbon dioxide and you let your head fall to the side, dizzy and giggling breathlessly as you nearly avoid asphyxiation. Spencer laughs too, letting his head fall to your shoulder once more, and you finally let your eyes flutter closed. To do something as simple as laugh with him again is its own small euphoria. It’s unexpected, and a soft landing once all that tension breaks underneath your combined weight.
It can’t last forever, you know that well. But the slow fade of it makes the next parts a little easier.
Spencer presses a kiss to your neck. “Is your bathroom through that door?”
You hum a confirmation and are only slightly disheartened when he pulls out and rolls off of you. You’re further disturbed when you see there’s gauze around his thigh, matching what’s around his arm, and you wonder how you missed that. Spencer scoops up his clothing and disappears into the adjoining restroom, assuring you he’ll be right back and leaving you alone with your thoughts and the whorls on the ceiling which have seemingly shifted into entirely new constellations.
He leaves the door cracked which is oddly reassuring—the sliver of warm light and the sound of the sink running. Only a few moments pass before he’s returning clad in boxers once more to sit on the edge of the bed, pushing away the sheet you’d just pulled over your chest and pulling one of your legs over his lap. Your face warms as he brings a washcloth between your thighs. As soon as he glances up at you and catches your eye you’re looking back to the ceiling.
“I should’ve asked first,” he says quietly as he cleans up the mess he’d made of you.
You speak just as softly, like you’re both afraid of disturbing some peace, of waking some sleeping giant. “It’s okay. I would’ve told you if I didn’t want it.”
His reticence, his unreadable face, make you nervous.
When he’s done, he rises to toss the dirtied cloth in the laundry bin, and with his back to you (as scratched up as it might be) you feel braver.
“Are you gonna, like... hate me now?”
It was a mistake. That’s clear by the way he turns around, brow knit deeply and grimacing slightly like even the suggestion offends him.
“Am I going to hate you?”
Again you pull the sheet up, and again you look away, studying the pattern of moonlight stretching out over the floor and scooting to make room for him when he steps in it.
“Not hate, I just...” the bed dips beside you and you are indescribably glad he’s not immediately running out the door. “I’m not dumb. I know what this was.”
He pulls you into him and you settle against his chest. It feels good. “I never thought you were dumb.”
This is your first real conversation since he’s gotten back, you realize. And how quickly you’re falling into familiar patterns, familiar syntactical beats. You know when to speak. You know when to bite your tongue and keep him talking.
The silence goes on longer than you’re used to. Maybe he got good at not speaking while he was away.
Eventually your eyes wander, falling to the white strip over his thigh where it is parallel to yours on the bed, only over the sheets.
“What happened?”
You said you wouldn’t ask, but that was then, and you’re upset again. You almost want to hurt him. To piss him off. You don’t know.
But it doesn’t work.
“Do you really want to know?” There’s a note of something heavy in his voice, and you look up at him. It’s a privilege to have him this close—his beauty is a constant surprise that you’d become unaccustomed to over the months. You say nothing, and he takes that as the yes that it is. “I... I did it to myself.”
He may as well have reached down your throat and grabbed for fucking heart for all its clenching. Tears well almost immediately, though they’ve been waiting in the wings all night.
“What? Did you—were you trying to—”
His eyes widen.
“No! No, honey, no.” You wilt as he gathers you closer, a deeply confused frown still contorting your features, too heartbroken even to cling to him, or to appreciate the ease with which honey slips past his lips again. “No. I was—it's complicated. I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to hurt myself, but I had to—I had to do it before someone else did something worse.”
The bruises covering his abdomen.
You sniffle and pull back enough to look up at him tearfully. “Why would they want to hurt you?”
Mist fills his eyes even as he’s looking down at you, a layer of separation, as if he’s two places at once. Even as he goes to brush your hair behind your ear, to stroke your cheek.
“I’m... not... the same, as I was.” It’s not an answer to your question—but it’s the beginning of the answer to a question you’d been too afraid to put into words.
“Don’t say that,” you beg, because you know where this is going. He keeps smoothing your hair like it’ll make this easier.
“But it’s true,” Spencer says gently, the slightest waver betraying his own emotion.
“You’re just going to leave again.”
And you’re losing to the tears.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you will,” you insist, like a child crying to a parent come to comfort them after a bad dream.
“Not right now. Right now I’m here.”
I’ll stay until you fall asleep again.
For now, maybe that has to be enough.
You cry on his shoulder. He kisses your head and doesn’t tell you to stop.
Eventually, you sniff and wipe your eyes.
“We were so close. Before you… we were almost there.”
You’re sure of it. You’re sure that if he hadn’t gone when he did you would’ve been a real couple. You would’ve told him you loved him.
“We’ll get there again,” he promises, rubbing your arm. “I just… I need a little bit of time. I think you do too. But we’re going to get there again.”
Maybe it will never be like it was.
But as so often is the case—Spencer is right. Difference doesn’t mean it won’t ever be good again.
You have to believe that, just as you had to believe you’d see him again.
You look to The Odyssey on your bedside table.
The sun has been obliterated from the sky, and an unlucky darkness invades the world.
But the sun has a habit of rising, time and time again, after the longest nights, after the darkest storms.
You feel the beginnings of its rise, see the golden tips of it lighting the room as he holds you. Even now.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds x you#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid angst
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save a horse, ride a driver: l.hamilton
pairing: lewis hamilton x black!reader
summary: there was no way you were letting lewis leave the hotel room looking the way he did without taking a spin first. [shoutout to my fren for this summary 😂]
tags: 18+ NSFW, MDNI, sexual content, pwp, oral [m] receiving, unprotected penetrative sex, dirty talk, spanking, slight choking, slight dom!lewis, breeding kink if you squint.
notes: today really ruined me guys 🫠. I wrote this in a few hours lmao. This is for the nasty girls like me going through ovulation and were left feeling wrecked by this man. NOT EDITED
w.c: 1.8K
reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @saturnville @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @chaneajoyyy @emjayewrites @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @samiwzx @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew @henneseyhoe @xoscar03 @perfecttrashface @saturnville
Having some time off from work, you had decided to join your boyfriend in Monaco for the long race weekend. It was only Thursday so there was no need for you to accompany him to the trac with him. You were going to stay at the hotel and utilize their spa facilities before preparing for dinner with Lewis later.
As you finished using the bathroom, you could hear his team packing their belongings and leaving the room. Lewis had about another hour free before he needed to leave for the circuit if he wanted to be on time. This was the time, if you were together, you would share breakfast.
You walked out to the living room area and stopped dead in your stride when you saw Lewis standing in front of the mirror as he fixed his braids into a low bun.
“Holy shit.” The words slid out of your mouth as you gaped at him. He was dressed in an extremely low v-neck pale blue cashmere cardigan which left the golden brown of his tattooed chest exposed paired with wheat coloured waist fitted linen trousers. He wasn’t wearing the custom Dior sneakers just yet but the jewellery that had been laid out last night were now in the right places.
Lewis was a man of fashion, a common interest that had connected the both of you but it was days like this that reminded you how a well put outfit enhanced his beauty to another level. It amazed you how much his dress sense managed to raise your arousal.
He turned around to face you with a genuine smile that quickly transitioned into a smirk when he saw the glint of lust in your eyes.
”Hi baby.” He greeted you before walking to sit on the couch.
“Where do you think you’re going, looking like that?” You asked as you crossed the room.
“Like what?” He chuckled as he furrowed his eyebrows in slight confusion.
“Like a slut! Who are you tryna get, looking this good.” A deep laugh burst from his chest as a light rosy tint touched his cheeks. He was used to your peculiar way of complimenting him but there were times where the comment would make his insides melt. He was a grown man and you still had the ability to make him weak in the knees with your unbridled attention.
“This is only for you baby.” Lewis spoke, gesturing to his body. “I’m all yours and only yours.”
“Looking like a five course meal and I’m ready to eat.” You said licking your lips before you dropped to your knees in front of him, between his legs. He looked down at you as you looked up at him, massaging his thighs and he knew what you were intending to do.
“Sweetheart, you know I need to be leaving soon.” He mumbled as he leaned down and pecked your lips
“Being late has never stopped you before.” You were rubbing your palm against his hardening dick beneath the fabric of his trousers. Lewis’s eyes fluttered close as he tried to be rational. You knew that he didn’t need to be so early, the circuit was a team minute boat ride - if need be, they’d wait for him.
“I’m not letting you leave this room without a taste. Let me enjoy you first before anyone else.” Whatever front that he had been attempting to put up, fell.
“You’re such a spoiled brat.” He sighed as he leaned back and placed his right arm on top of the couch. His other hand came to stroke the side of your cheek. He gazed down at you as he pressed his thumb against your lips. Once he slid his thumb into your mouth, you didn’t hesitate to wrap your tongue around the digit and suck on it hard.
Your eyes never left his as you moaned around his thumb, suctioning your cheeks as you would around his cock.
“Look at you, my pretty girl. You want it bad huh?” He softly spoke but the flare of his nose and the hardening of his dick under your touch showed how he was really feeling. Your arousal and raw desire for your man was causing an uncomfortable dampness in your underwear.
“Take my dick out.” The command made your body tremble with excitement as you unbuttoned his trousers and pulled him out. Seeing you hold him must have done something because, suddenly he leaned forward, curling his ringed fingers into your coils before he placed his lips over yours - bruising them in the process.
“Open your mouth.” He told you. And as you opened your mouth, he said. “Suck your dick, baby.”
You whimpered before you placed a soft kiss on the tip and caressed the rest of his length. You looked up at him as you slowly took him into your mouth until he was lodged at the back of your throat.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty with my dick in your mouth.” With one hand, he took your hair into a ponytail as he determined the speed. You placed your hands on his thighs to steady yourself as he fucked your face - thrusting into your mouth as he pushed your head down on his length bringing you closer to his pelvis.
Your eyes were brimming with tears as you struggled for breath gagging on his dick. And you loved every second of it.
“You okay baby?” Lewis asked. His voice breathless but laced with concern at the state of tears staining your cheeks. You nodded your head and quickly drew him back into your mouth with your hand wringing his girth. You raised your eyes to meet his as you let him hit the back of your throat once more. The choking sounds you made had him twitching in your mouth.
“Goddamn, this fucking mouth.” Lewis hissed as you sucked on his tip causing the base of his spine to tingle. You made a swallowing motion which stimulated your throat to contrast and tighten around the tip of his dick.
“Fuuuucckkk me.” He groaned as he threw his head back, pushing you away.
You giggled as you pressed your hands onto his thighs and stood up. You placed your legs on either side of his hips and took his dick into your hand and the other hand moved your panties to the side. You rubbed his tip against your wet centre until he was drenched. Your eyes locked and despite his well put together outward appearance, you were unraveling him with your continuous teasing.
Lewis leaned forward and tugged at your thick coils in his hand to hoist your head backwards. The sting of the pull caused you to hiss.
“Don’t fucking play with me, YN. Ride this dick.” He sternly told you as he dragged his mouth down the column of your neck before biting onto your exposed shoulder. You moaned as you finally pressed the head of his dick on your entrance. You couldn’t stop moaning as you rotate your hips on his cock. Lewis’s hands came to your waist, guiding you down slowly on his thickness until he was nestled in deep.
He groaned, feeling your warmth all around him. He smacked your ass causing you to gasp. “This is what you wanted right? So take it.” He harshly whispered before he pulled you closer by your neck and captured your lips. No longer caring to be gentle, Lewis demanded. “Ride me.”
“Baby, you’re so big, wait -.” You pleaded but he slapped your ass cheek again, causing your pussy to clench around him.
You began to ride him. Hard.
You mashed your hips against his, rolling your waist back and forth so that he was touching every part of you intimately possible. Your eyes fluttered close as you arched your back as your walls rhythmically clenched around his dick. A guttural moan left your mouth as Lewis’s fingers dug into the flesh of your ass and fucked you harder.
“Fuck yes! Just like that!” Your voice quivered as you placed your hands on his shoulders. You started bouncing up and down his cock which left his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Every time you came down, Lewis would thrust his hips up - making your orgasm quickly rise within you.
“Don’t stop!” He breathlessly moaned. You shook your head before you leaned down and drew his bottom lip into your mouth before kissing him passionately.
“I won’t.” You whispered. You increased your speed. The sound of your flesh clapping - along with your moans echoed across the room. Sweat was beginning to line his forehead and roll down the sides of his forehead. The smell of your sex taking over your senses.
Lewis slammed into you with a desperation only you would know. His arms wrapped around your body and you dropped your head into his neck. Your teeth trapped his skin in between them as the familiar hot tingle at the bottom of your spine rose.
“I’m about to come baby. Fuucck, sweetheart I’m gonna come” He whispered, whimpering as you bounced harder.
“Come with me. Come inside me.” The accumulation of his dick pounding your sweet spot with your clit constantly brushing on his pelvis along with the commanding nature of his tone, you were done for.
Your nails painfully dug into his shoulders as you screamed, tensing as your climax erupted. Lewis’s mouth parted into a silent moan, pushing his face into your chest as you milked him for everything he had. Your breaths were ragged as Lewis collapsed back into the couch with you in his arms. You sighed into his chest before you turned your head and laid kisses on his damp skin.
“Fucking hell, sweetheart.” He mumbled as he rubbed your back beneath your nightie. The both of you laid there, your bodies feeling like melted butter. You didn’t need the spa anymore, you were taking a nap as soon as Lewis left.
“If you didn’t look so good, I wouldn’t have needed to ride you like this.”His laugh vibrated through your body.
“So it’s my fault now that you got turned on?”
“Yes! Next time wear a burlap sack or something. You know what, no - you’d somehow make that look good too.”
He chuckled and pressed a kiss on the side of your forehead. “I apologise, I’ll be more ugly next time.”
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therealyn
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therealyn Save a horse, ride a driver or whatever was said 🥵 and my mannn, thank you to my mannn.
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user818 This is so real of you actually 😂🤭
user121 Ma’am, this is a wendy’s
lewishamilton Can you stop🧍🏾
⤷ therealyn lewishamilton But if I remember correctly, you were telling me not to????
⤷lewishamilton therealyn 🤦🏾
user619 not them basically confirming what we’re all thinking in the comments 😩😫
user444 No because if Lewis Hamilton was my boyfriend, I would be behaving like this too.
charles_leclerc Now we know why he was so happy in the paddock today ..
⤷ therealyn charlesleclerc Happy to be of service 🫡
lewishamilton therealyn When I get back, I’m locking your phone away.
⤷ therealyn lewishamilton as if 🙄🤚🏾
user788 the fact you can see in the video when he’s in the garage, the exact moment he saw this post 😭.
ru’s letter💌: this is probably one of the fastest I’ve written and uploaded something 😂. I have such a thing for eye contact during sex I’m noticing 🤭.
#mauvecherie writes#save a horse ride a driver one shot#lewis hamilton x black reader#lewis hamilton x black!reader#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton fanfiction#lewis hamilton fic#sir lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton#lh
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Okay this is going to sound like really bad but I did read your rules and saw that dubcon/noncon could be allowed so
please begging for a dub/noncon (up to u which) crumbs where Alastor is tired of reader's stubbornness and thinks it's time to really let her know her place (al owns her soul) and okay thank u bye pwosjdjeidnsj *runs and hides under a rock in shame*
a/n: HAAA YESSS. no this is amazing 😍😍
tags: 18+ smut nsfw, NONCON‼️, alastor is a demon fr, forced penetration, dacryphilia, choking, slight throat fucking
"good morning, would you be a dear and run this to rosie for me?" alastor pops into your room unannounced, as usual. you're tired, he had you up all night on another shitty errand, and you just want to sleep a little longer. "alastor please, can't anyone else do it?" you sigh, irritation bubbling in your chest. he never lets you rest.
alastor raises an eyebrow. "no one else is available." his tone is harsh, and when you meet his eyes, they're darker than they were a moment before. "this is the part where you're supposed to submit, say 'yes sir' and get out of bed." he leans on his staff, glaring red eyes staring through you. "or did you forget?" your eyes widen when you realize what he's about to do. there's a flash of green, and you feel the clasp of that shitty metal collar around your neck.
your deal with alastor backfired, just as he intended it to, and he ended up not having to do a god damned thing in exchange for your soul.
with a sharp tug of his chain, you're forced to sit up. the pull around your neck makes you cough, and you glare back at him. but when you do, you're quickly filled with a certain level of primal fear. alastor was no joke when he was angry, eyes glowing red and those antlers growing from atop his head.
"you need to learn, my dear, that the word 'no' is not a part of your vocabulary anymore." alastor walks with slow, determined strides towards your bed before his knees hit your mattress. he tugs once more, pulling you up and onto your knees. "alastor don't..." your breath catches in your throat. his hand grips onto your jaw, squeezing you uncomfortably. tears prick in the corners of your eyes, and you let out a shaky sigh. "don't?" alastor repeats, laughing. "have you forgotten the fact that i own you?"
you reach for his wrist in an attempt to remove his hand but he's far stronger than you. "i-i'll go, i'm sorry." you hiccup, but alastor has already made up his mind. "mmh, i don't think so. i don't tolerate insubordination, darling." your heart hammers in your chest when alastor's fingers find his belt. "you’re going to learn one way or another." he growls, freeing his half-hard cock and tugging your restraint.
you clench your teeth, and try to look away but alastor's grasp is too tight. his thumb drags along the bottom of your lip before prying your jaw open. "listen and be my good girl, this won't be so bad." you shut your eyes, the only thing you can think to do to cope with alastor forcing the head of his cock between your lips. there's only a moment of hesitation, a sigh from the demon above you, before his cock is being slid further down your throat.
every groan from alastor earns another tear running down your cheek. his hands hold your face steady as he pumps his cock faster, fucking the back of your throat. "so pretty, darling. look at me." he grunts, pulling your eyes up to his. they're glassy with tears, and its almost enough to make alastor cum down your throat in that very instant.
his cock pulses and he's forced to pull out of your warm mouth in fear of releasing before getting to take your cunt too. he taps your cheek gently, watching you cough and recover your breath after having your airways restricted. "strip, then i want you ass up on the bed." your lip quivers, and your body refuses to move even after you tell it to. alastor sighs, shaking his head. "must i do everything?" his words are somehow gentle and harsh enough to pull a sob from your chest.
before you can stand, alastor reaches for the hem of your sleep shirt and tears it straight down the middle to expose your tits. on instinct, you try to cover yourself but alastor's shadow circles both your wrists and pins them to your side. "please alastor... i promise, i-i will do anything you ask. please just don't do this." you plead, but alastor just clicks his teeth with his tongue. "you should've thought about the consequences before this, my dear. i've found that making an example out of someone typically gives the best results."
he does release his shadows, freeing your wrists and watches carefully as you follow his previous instructions. you kick your shorts off with a muffled cry and turn to shove your face into the mattress. ass up, you prepare for whatever alastor has in mind. his fingers find your slit, delving into the wet heat between your thighs. the laugh he releases sends a chill down your spine. "wet as can be darling!" without giving you another moment to process, his cock is pushing thick and hard into your unprepared pussy.
your scream gets caught in your throat, heat coursing through your body in an overwhelming way. "n-no, too much alastor, please stop." you cry, muffled into the mattress as you try to scramble away from him but you feel alastor's shadow come back to pin your arms. you're trapped at this point, completely under alastor's control. there's no choice but to give in, your body going limp as alastor pumps his hips into you.
"good girl." he coos, raking his clawed hands down your back. angry red marks follow in its trail. "see how easy it is to just obey?" every inch of his cock pushes you to your limit. "such a good cunt..." he sighs, his hips stuttering before he pulls out and you feel each thick rope of cum hit your ass. you finally open your eyes, letting every emotion flow through them as alastor empties his balls all over you.
there's a moment of silence while alastor catches his breath. "now... will you be a dear and run this to rosie for me?" he reiterates, and your whole body tenses. is he not even giving you time to recover? to clean up? fuck...
"y-yes sir..."
#tw: noncon#tw noncon#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x you#alastor x reader smut#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel alastor smut#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor smut#alastor hazbin hotel smut#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor x reader imagines#hazbin smut#alastor x you smut
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Girlfriend Shoko head-canons cause I said so
Cw: afab reader, mdni (18+ under cut), no proof read.
- Shoko is a busy woman, sleep deprived, dehydrated, everything under the sun— but when she met you every little bad thing in her life vanished. You forced her to drink water, forced her to eat regular meals, forced her to change her sleeping habits. Instead of coming home and chain smoking on her couch she finds herself tucked between your legs, her head pressed against your chest as she naps, lulled to sleep by the sound of your heartbeat and soft breaths.
- Shoko always thought she was too busy for relationship—let alone date nights. Hookups were so much quicker and simpler than settling down and making plans week after week day after day. But now it’s all she ever really thinks about. She’ll pass by a new bakery on her way to work, taking quick glances through the large windows, looking at the tables and the seating an noting how busy they always look. Or she’ll spend her breaks looking up five star restaurants to take you to for your anniversary (which isn’t even close! She just can’t seem to stop thinking about how lucky she is and how beautiful you’ll look sitting across from her in a dress she definitely hasn’t bought for you already…)
- Craft + Wine dates. Was it your idea or was it hers? (It was hers) Whenever Shoko gets a weekend off she always gets so excited knowing you’re already at home laying out all of the materials on the kitchen table, two wine glasses set to the side and a small ceramic ashtray waiting patiently for her arrival home. One time you’ll make paintings of one another, the next time you’re beading bracelets made with each others favorite color. Some days you’ll simply lay out a puzzle and pull your chair a little closer to hers. Shoko hunched forward, glass in hand and a cigarette dangling between her lips as he searches through the scattered pile.
- TOUCH HER. Shoko is always— and I mean always— freezing. In the mornings you’ll wake up to her face buried in the crook of your neck, her arms wrapped tightly around you, her legs tangled with yours. Or some nights after you’ve turned the light off and rolled over you’ll feel her hands slide up your shirt, her fingers little ice cubes against your hot skin. Good luck pushing her away, she’ll whine the entire time, begging you to hold her and warm her up. She loves laying her head on your chest while you’re both wrapped up in a thick warm blanket— it’s nothing short of perfect.
- Shoko isn’t a lightweight, she can hold her liquor. You however? You can’t. She loves looking down at your rosy face as your eyes flutter closed as you fall asleep sitting up on the couch. She’s quick to grab the makeup wipes and clean your face for you before helping you walk to bed. Your knees would buckle with each step before they’d finally give out, your body meeting with the plush mattress with a soft groan. Shoko carefully helps you shed your uncomfortable clothes, helping you into an old ratty t-shirt. If you were sober (and conscious) you’d see the soft look of love in her eyes and she plays with your hair. Her fingers brushing against your forehead and you mutter in your sleep, and god, she’s never been more in love.
- If she could stay between your legs all day she would. Her breakfast, lunch and dinner is your dripping wet cunt against her tongue. She’s not just good at eating you out— she’s amazing at it. It’s like she’s been studying for this moment her entire life. She ties her hair back, getting down on her knees and prying your legs apart. After a long day she won’t waist any time diving in, giving you no warning as she plunges her tongue into your tight hole, her nose pressed up against your clit as she devours you. When you cum (or when she finally feels like stopping) you watch as she sits up, her hair frizzy from your desperate tugging, her chin glistening with your cum and her spit.
- The strap master or the strap receiver… which will she be? Shoko is a heavy switch, one day she’ll be on all fours as you drive into her from behind, the next she’ll have your legs thrown over her shoulders as she listens to you babble something that sounds like her name.
- Shoko isn’t as big of a freak as you’d think. Sex with her can very from absolutely brutal to the sweetest tenderest experience of your life. Sometimes she’ll wrap her hand around your throat as you lay under her with your nails biting into her shoulders. Wet rosy patches litter your skin as you gasp, eyes fluttering into the back of your head as that blissful airy feeling seeps in, drowning out the loud slap of her strap entering you again and again as she fucks you into the mattress.
- when you sent her a nude for the first time she was absolutely floored. All she could think about for the rest of the day was you and what you must’ve done after taking that photo. Were you nestled in her bed?— Your face buried in the shirt she mindlessly tossed onto the mattress that morning… or maybe you were grinding against her favorite pillow, the one that smelt like her shampoo and perfume… or maybe—
- You jokingly called her daddy once. You thought it was funny— and maybe she did too the first time. But then you did it again after she kissed you on the cheek while passing by. That had a little more kick to it than it did the first time. Shoko always thought men who liked to be called daddy in bed were odd— but then she asked you begged you to call her daddy as she hovered over you, her fingers deep in your cunt. She pleaded, her pussy grinding against your thigh as you shivered under her. She needed to hear it, just to see how it felt. And it felt wonderful. Call her daddy while she’s eating you out, call her daddy while her cock is burrier deep deep inside of you, call her daddy as she lazily fingers you in bed.
#jjk x reader#jjk shoko#shoko x reader#shoko ieri x reader#shoko ieiri#my wife shoko <3#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen shoko#shoko smut#jjk smut
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desperately need nerd!matt hcs from u
SO HIGHSCHOOL
❐ summary » "you know how to ball, i know aristotle"
❐ pairings » nerd!matt x popular!reader
❐ warnings » nonee
❐ a/n && w/c » im trying to do all my hc requests cause i've literally been neglecting them • 1.47k
┆ nerd!matt who is always shy around you, but secretly admires you from afar. he’s the kind of guy who blushes every time you talk to him or even look his way.
» amidst the cacophony of the bustling school hallways, your eyes land on matt, the quiet, introspective soul who perpetually immerses himself in the world of books. today, as you navigate through the throng of students, a spontaneous urge compels you to break the silence and greet him.
“hey, matt!" you exclaim with a buoyant tone, your voice cutting through the ambient noise with a cheerful resonance.
matt glances up, his eyes widening in astonishment. a crimson hue swiftly creeps across his cheeks, and he clumsily juggles the books in his hands. "h-hi, y/n," he stammers, struggling to maintain eye contact.
you smile warmly, taking note of the subtle pink hue that spreads across his ears. "how's it going? what are you reading today?"
he casts a fleeting glance down at the book cradled in his hands, then looks back up at you, his blush intensifying to a deeper shade of crimson. "oh, um, it's just... a book on astrophysics," he mumbles, his voice a blend of excitement and nervousness.
"astrophysics? that sounds really interesting!" you exclaim, your eyes widening with genuine admiration. "you'll have to tell me about it sometime."
matt's heart quickens at your words. he nods, attempting to steady his voice. "y-yeah, i'd like that."
as you walk away, you can't help but notice the shy smile that lingers on his face, and you feel a warm flutter in your chest. little do you know, matt is already eagerly anticipating the next opportunity to converse with you.
┆ nerd!matt who helps you with your homework, and in return, you help him come out of his shell. you spend hours together, and matt starts feeling more confident because of your encouragement.
» "hey matt, can you help me with my homework again? i’m really struggling with this math problem," you ask, your soft smile barely hiding the hint of desperation in your eyes.
matt adjusted his glasses, his fingers lingering on the frames for a moment. he leaned in closer to the problem, his brow furrowing in deep concentration, a thoughtful expression settling on his face as he absorbed the details. "sure, let’s see what we’ve got here. oh, this one’s actually pretty interesting. it’s all about quadratic equations."
you smiled, a sense of calm washing over you, as the tension in your shoulders eased and your breathing steadied. "you always make it sound so easy. i don’t know what i’d do without your help."
matt blushed slightly, a modest grin forming on his lips, his cheeks tinged with a faint rosy hue as he tried to hide his growing embarrassment. "well, you’re getting better at it. you just need a bit more practice."
hours passed as you worked together, solving problems and sharing stories. the room was filled with the quiet hum of concentration, punctuated by occasional bursts of laughter that echoed softly against the walls, weaving a tapestry of camaraderie and shared effort.
you looked at matt, your eyes reflecting a deep admiration, the kind that spoke volumes of unspoken respect and appreciation for his unwavering dedication and thoughtful demeanor. "you know, matt, you’re really good at this. have you ever thought about tutoring more people? you’d be great at it."
matt glanced down, a shy smile playing on his face, his eyes momentarily avoiding yours as a subtle blush crept up his cheeks, revealing a quiet vulnerability. "i’ve thought about it, but i’m not sure if i’d be good at explaining things to others."
you shook your head, your voice filled with encouragement. "are you kidding? you’re amazing! you’ve helped me so much. plus, you’re really patient. i think you’d be fantastic."
matt’s confidence seemed to grow, his eyes meeting yours with a newfound determination. "thanks, that means a lot. maybe i’ll give it a try."
you nodded, your smile warm and genuine. "you totally should! and hey, if you ever need help with anything, i’m here for you too. we’re friends, right?"
matt smiled warmly, the connection between you both feeling stronger than ever. "yeah, we are. thanks for believing in me."
┆ nerd!matt who gets flustered when you invite him to hang out with your friends. he’s not used to the attention, but you make sure he feels included and comfortable.
» you and your friends were deep in conversation, laughing about some old stories. you noticed matt was unusually quiet, sitting at the edge of the group, looking a bit lost.
you leaned in closer, your voice carrying a gentle, almost melodic tone. "hey matt, you okay? you’ve been pretty quiet."
he glanced up, his eyes widening in surprise, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his face. "oh, yeah, i'm fine. just... not used to this, i guess."
you offered him a warm, reassuring smile, your eyes conveying a depth of understanding and empathy. "we're really glad you're here. your thoughts matter too. anything on your mind?"
matt hesitated for a moment, his uncertainty lingering, before a tentative smile slowly spread across his face, his posture easing into a more relaxed demeanor. "thanks. i guess i'm just getting used to being around more people."
one of your friends, noticing the exchange, interjected thoughtfully, "yeah, matt, jump in anytime! we're all friends here."
you nodded, a sense of relief washing over you as the atmosphere seemed to lighten. "exactly. you're one of us, matt."
he appeared to relax further, his smile broadening and becoming more genuine. "thanks, guys. it means a lot."
┆ nerd!matt who writes you sweet, thoughtful notes and leaves them in your locker. you find these little gestures incredibly endearing and look forward to them every day.
» you stood by your locker, a smile spreading across your face as you discovered yet another sweet note tucked inside. it had become a daily ritual, one that you cherished deeply.
"another one from matt?" a friend inquired, their curiosity piqued by the evident joy radiating from your expression.
"yeah," you responded, carefully unfolding the paper to unveil his heartfelt and thoughtful words. "he's so sweet. these little notes make my day."
your friend flashed a knowing grin, their eyes twinkling with amusement. "he's got it bad for you. what does this one say?"
you began to read aloud in a clear and deliberate voice, allowing each word to resonate with the surrounding air, "two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
your friend's eyes widened, a mixture of astonishment and intrigue dancing within her gaze. "wow, he's got it bad for you. have you talked to him about it?"
you nodded, a gentle warmth spreading through you, like the first rays of dawn touching the earth. "not yet, but i think i will. these notes... they mean a lot to me."
as you closed your locker, anticipation bubbled within you, eager for the next note and the potential conversation it might spark, weaving a tapestry of words and emotions yet to be discovered.
┆ nerd!matt who stands up for you when you need it most, showing that he’s not just a quiet bookworm but someone who deeply cares about you. you realize just how special he is.
» you found yourself in the midst of a heated argument with gadiel, your ex, emotions running high and words cutting deep. as the tension reached its peak, matt, the quiet and unassuming bookworm, approached with an unexpected resolve in his eyes.
"you never listen!" you exclaimed, your frustration bubbling over like a pot left too long on the stove, threatening to spill over and scorch everything in its path.
gadiel sneered, his lip curling with a disdain that cut through the air like a sharpened blade, "maybe if you weren't so—"
before he could finish, matt stepped in, his voice quivering with a mix of fear and resolve, yet carrying an unmistakable note of determination. "maybe if you had half a brain, you'd realize she's worth listening to."
gadiel appeared momentarily stunned, his usual composure shattered by the unexpected turn of events. "oh, look, the nerd speaks."
matt retorted with a fierce intensity, his eyes locking onto gadiel's with an unyielding resolve that left no room for doubt. "better a nerd than a jerk who doesn't appreciate what he had."
gadiel scoffed, his bravado crumbling as he found himself bereft of any further retorts. "whatever," he muttered, turning and walking away.
you turned to matt, feeling a surge of profound gratitude and deep admiration welling up within you. "thanks, matt. i didn't know you had it in you."
matt's cheeks tinged with a faint blush, yet he held your gaze with unwavering steadiness. "i care about you, more than you know."
taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @frozenpeanutbutterr @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr @sturnobsessedwh0re @cerismo
#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo oneshot#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nick sturniolo angst#nick sturniolo fluff#nick sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo oneshot#nick sturniolo imagine#nick sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you#nicolas sturniolo
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#— “SO, YOU’RE A CAMBOY?”
⋆ warnings: ADULT CONTENT (MDNI). camboy!au, masturbation, no beta read.
⋆ pairings: gallagher, sunday, aventurine, welt yang, dr. veritas ratio (separate) X reader.
⋆ notes: this is a part 2 (that nobody asked for lol), i hope i didnt butcher anyones character 😓
⋆ PART 1.
⋆ gallagher will actually oil up if you tell him to — and he does it with a dirty grin. he always wears his signature magenta tie, or maybe a collar if he’s feeling extra naughty. not much is known about gallagher, truthfully. gallagher likes to flex his biceps, he knows that drives you mad. his arms are all scratched up, speckled with patches of scar tissue up to his shoulders. he has a strangely magnetic gaze, one that calls to you as he strokes himself. he lolls his head, letting out a long, heavy moan. his brown hair starts to stick to his face as he sweats, teasing his cock to drive his viewers wild. he edges to get you riled up, raising his eyebrows as he pumps his shaft with two big, thick, calloused hands. he likes to cuff himself to his bed, unable to pull away from a vibrator or his own hand. gallagher is very personal with his viewers at times, ranting about his long, boring day at work with a hand on his cock, calling himself an “old dog” and blabbing about bitchy people. if there’s one thing about gallagher that you know, it’s that he’s a dirty, old showoff. oh, and, if you finish before him, he will relentlessly tease you for it.
⋆ sunday infrequently streams. there’s something so filthy and impure about it that drives him somewhat wild. he doesn’t like to show his face on camera a lot, it could end up bad if it becomes public knowledge that he’s the one on stream. however rare it may be for him to stream, let alone show his face, you can’t ever get enough of his flushed face. he’s just so pent up, and every time he gets close, his wings start to flap a little, it’s adorable. his wings are perfectly preened, his body is well taken care of, and his hands are simply beautiful. his skin is quite pale, it sometimes looks slightly grey, but his knuckles are rosy, and his face gets so, so red. his cock is just as gorgeous, his entire body is well maintained, his tip just as rosy as his knuckles. he lets out small babbles as his cool, collected exterior starts to falter from pleasure. he teases the slit of his tip with his thumb, stroking slowly, dampening his moans with his other mouth. what he does secretly is just so, so impure, it’s sinful, it feels all too good to show his fans what he cannot show the world. it’s amazing, having no control for once.
⋆ aventurine is showy. he’s already pretty showy (he has a lot to compensate for, in all honesty), but when he’s right in front of the camera, something in him changes. he likes to make his streams feel one-on-one, he knows that’s what gets him donations. sometimes, he likes to make “bets” on who will come first, you or him. it’s always you, especially when he dirty talks and picks up the camera to show you how hard and needy he is. he licks his lips and he moans softly when he pumps himself, taunting you to cum, confessing how hard this makes him. he always makes sure to ruin your orgasm indirectly, never letting you get what you want. shouldn’t seeing him already be enough for you, or are you just selfish?
⋆ welt never anticipated becoming a camboy. he was reluctant, but he strangely started to enjoy it. he doesn’t have much personal time, between his job, his duties, his life, he doesn’t savor the time he has alone with himself all too much. welt loves to praise you, urging you to come for him, come to his body and his dick. his gaze is so, so gentle, egging you on for longer, edging himself just so you feel good. his audience loves that about him, he’s endearing and selfless, he doesn’t even have donations on. he mostly streams for the fun of it, he loves encouraging you to feel your best, showing you every part of him that you want, flexing his muscles, giving you THAT look, moaning for you. he strokes his cock softly, whimpering with pleasure and whining as he feels his abs after he edges again. welt absolutely has a cult-like following, the majority of which have some sort of DILF fascination.
⋆ veritas ratio was openly against the idea of streaming. he shut it down every time, but something in the back of his mind nagged him. he grew in popularity in a short time, tugging on his cock with a strange scowl-like smile on his face. he was wonderfully sculpted, though, he loved to show his body. he would occasionally post to other platforms with photos of him shirtless. sometimes out of the bath, skin still glistening and wet, or after a workout in a mirror. in due time, veritas became used to flaunting his body, sneakily placing a rubber ducky somewhere around his home, whether it be his living room, his room, wherever, and challenging his viewers to find it. he’s mildly agitated whenever a member of his audience calls him “ducky” or “mr. ducky.” the ducks are part of the reason why he blew up so fast. veritas knows he’s handsome, though, and he loves to tease, pulling his cock from his boxers when he can’t bare another second of not touching it. he’s big, and he loves to talk about what he’ll do to you. he wastes no time, making sure to pleasure himself and you as efficiently as possible, he’s a master of dirty talk, especially with that commanding voice of his.
#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#gallagher hsr#gallagher#gallagher x reader#reader x gallagher#sunday#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#reader x sunday#aventurine#kakavasha#aventurine x reader#aventurine hsr#reader x aventurine#welt yang#joachim nokianvirtanen#welt yang x reader#welt x reader#reader x welt yang#reader x welt#veritas ratio#dr ratio#dr. ratio#dr ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#weltie!
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Aim for the Sky Part 9 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: You were trying your best to enjoy the countdown to the arrival of the baby, but your emotions were all over the place. Even on your birthday, you couldn't tell if you were excited or anxious. Bradley planned to surprise you with something special, but he got a different kind of surprise instead.
Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing, injury while pregnant
Length: 4500 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
Your parents' departure after Christmas left you antsy and anxious, and you knew Bradley could tell. All the talk about them potentially moving to California had you on edge, especially since everything was beginning to feel very real now. Your due date was creeping closer and closer, and you were starting to remember one solidly scary fact on an hourly basis now: neither you nor Bradley had any clue how to take care of a baby.
Your husband was so excited, it wasn't like you could feasibly bring up this topic of conversation. Every time you tried, he reminded you that he had watched dozens of Youtube videos. He told you that your parents were always just a call away. He assured you that if he was ever going to be successful at anything, it would be taking care of Rosie.
"I'm ready for the Nugget, Baby Girl," he told you as you got dressed to go out to the Hard Deck on New Year's Eve. He was already wearing the pink shirt you gave him for Christmas. The tiny matching one was tucked away in the closet in the nursery which brought a tear to your eye.
"I know you are," you sniffed, "but I'm still scared." You'd had a headache for the last few days, and food just hadn't sounded appealing to you. Your belly was getting enormous as your third trimester wore on, and everything was tender. "She'll be here so soon."
Bradley looked at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, his eyes lighting up as he smiled. "Eleven more weeks, but who's counting? Not me," he said, holding up his phone which had a 'Countdown to Rose' background on the screen. When you didn't even smile, he sighed and said, "I know you're nervous, Sweetheart. I get moments where I'm really nervous, too."
You pressed your lips together and tried to hold back the tears. You already knew how much he struggled with coming to terms with becoming a parent when he hadn't had either of his for such a long time. "The whole thing is going to hurt. And then we have to figure out what to do with an actual baby. Like this is going to be way different from nursing Tramp back to health. And I suddenly feel like I'm going to be terrible at this."
He had you in his arms immediately, and you were trying not to get your smeared makeup on his pink shirt. "It might hurt, but I'll be with you the whole time. And then I swear I'll take care of everything right afterwards so you don't have to. I'm planning on taking a few days off from work after Rosie gets here, and you can relax and be an amazing mom while I clean and take care of everything else."
You looked up at him as a tear slid down your cheek. "You're going to cook, Roo?" you asked, finally breaking into a smile.
His eyes went wide, and his lips parted wordlessly. You laughed at the worried look on his face even as you cried a little bit more. "Well, we can figure that part out. Or maybe you can freeze some dinners? I don't think I should be cooking."
"I agree," you hiccuped, wrapping your arms around him awkwardly with your belly in the way.
You were quiet for a bit before Bradley finally asked, "Would you rather stay home tonight?"
Of course you'd rather stay home. Nothing sounded as good as your bed these days. That was where he fucked you until you weren't horny anymore and then let you fall asleep in his arms while he read to you from the Nugget notebook. "No, I want to go out and see everyone," you told him, because you knew he wanted to go out. "We can sleep in tomorrow and do nothing."
He kissed the top of your head and murmured, "It'll be a relaxing week since we're going out for your birthday on Friday night."
"Are we?" you asked, suddenly feeling excited that he always remembered your day and made it special. "Where?"
"Hot sauce restaurant," he whispered. "And maybe a little something extra."
"A cake?" you gasped.
Bradley laughed as he wiped away your tears. "You want a cake? I'll get you a cake, Baby Girl. Anything you want."
-----------------------------
The Hard Deck was absolutely packed for New Year's Eve, and Bradley was getting worried that someone was going to bump into you. He tried to get you and your bottle of Gatorade tucked safely between his body and Nat's, but there were people shoving through the crowd in every direction.
"I've never seen it this crowded before," you said over the music. You'd just been talking to Jake about three feet away, but Bradley could only pay attention to anyone who looked drunk and unsteady on their feet while he sipped his own beer cautiously.
"Seriously," he replied. "Penny and Jimmy look panicked. That new bartender looks like she's going to cry."
You scanned the room, taking a small step away from him and Nat, and that's when you got bumped. "What the fuck, man?" Bradley shouted to some guy he'd never seen before when you stumbled back against him. "Watch where the fuck you're going."
"I'm fine, Roo," you assured him with your hand on his bicep, but Bradley glared daggers at him until he was out of your vicinity.
"You might be fine, but I want you to be safe and comfortable," he snarled, finally looking down at your pretty face as your straw rested on your lip. "I want you to feel as perfect as you look." Just then someone else bumped you into him, and his fingers curled into a fist.
You reached for his hand and shook it until his fingers uncurled and were laced with yours. "I want to tell you to stop, but you're seriously turning me on right now," you moaned, eyes glued to his face as your pupils grew wide. "Like a lot."
Bradley closed his eyes and took a deep breath as his body reacted to your words and the look you were giving him. His hand came to rest gently on your bump, stroking you through your shirt. You looked incredible right now, and you even tasted and smelled impossibly sweet to him. "It's way too early to leave," he rasped, glancing down your shirt as you took another sip of Gatorade. "But when we do, I promise you'll be well taken care of."
"Mmkay, Daddy," you replied, kissing his neck while Nat made an animated gagging face behind you.
"I was going to ask if either of you wanted to play darts with me, but not if you're going to start doing that all night," she said, but you were already bouncing with excitement.
"I want to play!" you told her, shoving your drink into Bradley's free hand.
Nat grimaced but said, "Okay, fine. But only because you look happy, and the endorphins are probably good for the baby."
For the next forty-five minutes, Bradley acted as a human fence, trying to block anyone from jostling you while you and his best friends played darts. "You want to play, Roo?" you asked him at one point, holding up three darts in his direction.
"Who's going to guard you and Rosie if I play?" he asked, glaring at a woman who came tripping in your direction.
"She'll be fine," Nat told him, but he just shook his head and let you play. This was actually exhausting. He knew he'd be tired once the baby was born, but he hadn't been anticipating starting his protective duties this early. Soon he'd have his wife and his daughter to look after. Not that he minded. He was already living for it, but he didn't want to mess anything up. Your nerves were evident earlier as your hormones were constantly fluctuating, but he wasn't sure he had an excuse here.
"Are you listening?" you asked, patting his abs with the back of your hand. He could feel your engagement ring through his new shirt which made him smile unexpectedly. "It's almost midnight."
"Oh. Should we head home?" he asked, hoping he could get you out of here unscathed. The bar was getting a little wild now.
"Let's stay for the countdown and then head out. Get me a ginger ale?"
He grunted in response, looking for someone responsible to leave you with while he fought his way to the bar, but Bob was already gone on his deployment. Maria hadn't even come out tonight, and Cam was wasted. Bradley glanced at Jake and Cat who were looking quite cozy off in the corner, and he led you in that direction with his hands on your shoulders. "Stay with them," he told you, clearly interrupting the couple as you tried to dig your feet in.
"Hey, Angel," Jake said with a smirk. He had Cat's lipstick on his face and his arm around her waist, but he didn't seem too upset that Bradley dumped you there.
"Can you look after my wife while I get her something to drink? It's a little rough in here tonight. If anyone touches her, just punch them."
"I don't need a babysitter," you complained, but he kissed your forehead as Jake made room for you to stand against the wall.
"Yes, you do. I'll be right back."
Bradley fought his way up to the bar where everyone was reaching for the plastic champagne flutes that Jimmy was pouring. Penny saw him and immediately got him another beer, but he had to lean in and ask, "Can I get a ginger ale too, Pen?"
She shot him a little smile as she reached for the soda gun and a pint glass, and Bradley turned back to check on your current status. This time next year, you and he would be cozy at home with Rose, and there was nothing that could possibly make him want to be out for the night. A soft smile found his lips as he thought about coaxing his daughter to sleep and holding her against his chest while you and he watched New Year's Rockin' Eve on TV with Tramp on the area rug.
"Hey, handsome, you wanna buy me a drink?"
Bradley let his gaze shift down to the woman next to him, and he shook his head as she reached for his hand. "Absolutely not," he replied immediately, annoyed that someone was making his quest to get this drink and get back to you longer than it needed to be. He handed Penny ten dollars and grabbed your ginger ale before heading toward the back corner where you were waiting for him, safe and sound.
"Seriously, as soon as midnight hits, we're out of here, Sweetheart."
You sipped your soda and said, "Whatever you want."
-----------------------------
It turned out you and Bradley wanted the same thing. He had you both undressed by the time you got to your bedroom, and then the two of you stumbled into the bathroom, laughing between kisses. He tasted like beer, and his two day old stubble was rough, and you wanted him so badly you were aching for it. But he took the time to light two of the candles you left near the bathtub for when you wanted to take a relaxing bath, his hard cock bobbing as he walked.
"I'm setting the mood," he whispered with a smile, the scars on his face intriguingly handsome in the candlelight.
"Bradley, I'm always in the mood at the moment," you reminded him. You could probably handle him four times a day right now if he could manage it.
"Just let me try to be romantic," he whined, pressing your butt against the edge of the vanity before spinning you around to face the mirror. "I want to romantically fuck the shit out of you."
Your giggles turned to moans as he guided himself deep into your pussy before stroking your clit with one sure fingertip and bracing his hand on the vanity next to yours. His abs were hard against your back, and his pelvic bones were sharp, digging into your rear end. He pulled out a few inches before thrusting deep once again with a delicious snap of his hips. His eyes looked impossibly dark reflecting in the mirror as he watched your breasts bounce as he repeated that same thrust once again.
"Look at you," he crooned softly, leaning in to kiss the shell of your ear as he fucked you a little faster. "Oh my god."
He dragged his big hand up from your clit to cup your belly softly, kissing along your neck as you already felt yourself pulsing around him. Those rough fingers soon found your nipple, and you gasped, "Bradley," which just seemed to egg him on.
He was sucking on your neck and murmuring sweetly incoherent nothings. "Baby Girl, these tits. Gonna love them. My fucking god. Massive."
Where you just saw stretch marks and oversized body parts, he saw something that made him go feral for you right now. Your boobs were so tender, but there was something about the way he was grabbing at you that made you just want more. His voice was deep as his teeth grazed your skin, fingers kneading into the side of your breast as you clenched around his cock which was once again shoved deep inside your pussy.
"Your nipples look fucking huge," he whined, his hips starting to stutter after each fluid movement. "Do you see this?" he asked, hand sliding up the valley between your breasts to grab your chin and aim your eyes upwards until you were studying yourself. Your lips were parted, and he was right, your breasts did look pretty incredible as the candle light flickered. And somehow your swollen belly looked almost cute as he slammed into you from behind and groaned your name. "I did this to you," he whispered, hand resting over your belly button. "But the rest of it is just how fucking sexy you are. I can't get enough."
When you met his wild gaze in the mirror, you let your head tip back to his shoulder, maintaining eye contact as you started to come. He held you tight to his body as his hips met your butt and his cock stroked you exactly how you needed him to. "Oh fuck," you gasped, legs starting to shake as you got closer.
"Good girl," he crooned next to your ear, his mustache prickling your skin as your eyes closed. He fucked you through your orgasm, voice mingling with yours, and before you know it, you were standing there panting while his cum dripped down your inner thighs.
You were a little dizzy, but he kept a firm hold on you as he kissed and tasted your neck, cheek and shoulder. His fingers were stroking your furled nipples, and your skin was on fire with pleasurable little aftershocks that you didn't want to stop. But you were so tired, you needed to get off your feet.
"Roo."
Maybe it was how you said it, or maybe it was the use of that pet name in general, but he seemed to know exactly what you needed with just that one word. He helped you to the toilet and cleaned up your legs while you used it. He brushed his teeth while you did yours, and then he waited for you to remove your contacts and wash your face before leading you to bed. When he climbed in next to you, he kissed your lips and let you get as comfortable as you could before whispering, "I love you both." You were asleep before he turned off his lamp.
----------------------------
Leading up to Friday, Bradley kept trying to sneak off to confirm the plans he made for your birthday. But when he tried to call the lounge in Del Mar first thing in the morning, nobody answered, and if he tried later in the day, there was always an interruption. And that interruption was usually you. On Thursday evening, he finally managed to sneak away to the garage where he planned on working out as soon as he made the phone call.
Once he verified that you were nowhere in sight or within earshot, he had his phone pressed to his ear. When someone answered, he quickly said, "Hi, this is Bradley Bradshaw. I just wanted to confirm my rental agreement for the rooftop space for tomorrow night. I have the hour-long private event planned."
"Yes, sir. The space and the DJ are all yours from nine to ten o'clock tomorrow night."
"Great," he replied, head still on a swivel even though he was pretty sure you were doing a load of laundry inside the house. That's when you came strolling into the garage with a snack in your hand, and he quickly ended the call after a muttered thank you. "Hey," he told you as he awkwardly tossed his phone onto the tool bench and picked up one of his dumbbells.
You stood there in one of his old, stretched out tee shirts and a pair of maternity shorts and chewed on an unsalted pretzel. "Who were you talking to?" you asked. He should have known he wasn't going to get away with you not noticing.
"Uh... nobody," he muttered, and you raised one eyebrow in response. He sighed. "I don't want to tell you, because it's a surprise for your birthday tomorrow, okay?"
You smiled and told him, "Okay, Roo. No worries." You bit into another pretzel, and Bradley realized how tired you looked.
"Did you finish eating dinner?"
"No," you replied softly. "I just want a few pretzels. I have like no appetite."
Your next appointment with Dr. Morris was coming up in a week, and he had been wondering if it was bad that you hadn't gained really any weight since before Christmas. Work had been very busy for you the past few days with the arrival of some sort of new scientific equipment that completely baffled him. You were exhausted after one round of sex now, which was definitely a change of pace from a month ago. He almost blushed when he thought about how the two of you spent your first wedding anniversary.
"I think you need to eat something with some substance or protein or something, Sweetheart."
"I can't," you snapped. "Everything else makes me feel awful. You should try being pregnant, Bradley. It kind of sucks."
He didn't know how to respond, because the last thing he wanted to do was piss you off the night before your birthday. "Okay. Well, will you let me know if I can get you anything?"
You nodded as you chewed up another pretzel before yawning. "I came out to watch you get all sweaty for a minute before I head to bed."
"In that case," he said, laying back on his bench, "let me get started, birthday girl."
You were smiling again as he unlocked his barbell and got to work.
----------------------------
You woke up on your birthday to the feel of Bradley's hand on your hip and his voice in your ear, slowly coaxing you from your dream. "Happy birthday, Sweetheart." You rolled over and were met with his brown eyes and his messy bed head, and he collected you in his arms. "It's my second favorite day of the year."
His body was warm, and the last thing you wanted to do was go to work today. "Pretty soon it will be your third favorite day of the year," you croaked. When his brow furrowed, you guided his hand to your belly and said, "Don't even try to tell me the Nugget's birthday won't surpass it."
Your husband shook his head. "It'll be a tie," he whispered, kissing your forehead as the baby thumped around. "Hey, Rosie is saying happy birthday, too!"
You moaned softly. "Rosie is hungry but doesn't seem to like any foods right now."
Bradley ran his fingers along your cheek before kissing that spot. "I'm hoping the hot sauce restaurant will hit the spot for you tonight. Plus I have a fun surprise for afterwards."
It was worth a try. Hot sauce was one of the only things that didn't sound disgusting to you at the moment. In fact, Bradley poured you a little bowl of your favorite kind for you to dip your granola bar into while he made some coffee, and you did feel a bit better. Your stomach gurgled as he plopped down onto the piano bench to play the birthday song and sing to you.
As ridiculous as he looked sitting there in his boxer briefs with his hair still a mess, you knew you could never love someone the way you loved him. He was going to be such a good dad. He already built the playset and had the nursery almost ready. He had a countdown going on his phone. He picked out an outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital. And he took care of you all the time.
"I love you, Roo," you promised, wrapping him up in a hug and kissing along the gray hairs at his temple. "I can't wait for dinner later."
As soon as you were dressed in your hideous maternity tent, Bradley drove both of you to work, and you found yourself stifling yawn after yawn. You were beginning to doubt that you could make it through work let alone a whole date night, but you didn't want to tell him that. Not when he was playing your favorite songs and holding your hand while he drove. Not when he had his arm draped over your shoulders as he walked you all the way up to your office and kissed you like his life depended on it.
"I love you," he murmured before dropping down to one knee to press a kiss to your bump. "Be extra nice to Mommy today, little Nugget." You could feel her squirm around as she seemed to recognize his voice. "She's got a busy day planned for her birthday."
Then he was back on his feet, zipping his flight suit up fully, and with one last kiss, he was heading toward the elevators.
After just an hour in the lab, it was evident that the granola bar and hot sauce had not been enough for breakfast. You desperately wanted to sneak back to your office and dig around in your snack reserve in your desk to take the edge off if you could. You were currently waging a war between being hungry and simultaneously appalled by food.
"Are you okay?" Cat asked, nudging your arm with her elbow as Bickel droned on about the equipment that was on loan from Lemoore's engineering department. He was hoping that in the next two months, you and the others would be able to help him build a more streamlined interface for the F/A-18s. It wasn't that you weren't interested, because you were. You just couldn't focus very well at the moment.
"I'm fine," you told Cat who gave you side eye but stood quietly next to you. It would have been beneficial to have taken your birthday off and spent it in bed, but it was too late for that.
After an indeterminate amount of time, Bickel finally stopped talking, but then he called your name. You met his gaze and realized he looked very excited.
"Yes, sir?" you asked him, taking a step forward. You felt awful. Even the sound of your boot squeaking on the floor set your teeth on edge. Your head had begun to pound at some point in the morning, and now it felt like your brain was attacking your skull.
"Come help me test it out," he said, his voice grating on your nerves in a way it never had before.
Your next step was a bit of a stumble, and you tried to reach for the edge of the counter. You were going to throw up. The urge to gag left you reeling, searching for something to hold onto. Cat was calling your name as Bickel's eyes went wide, but when you reached for him, your hand caught on the instrumentation instead. It hurt a lot, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as your knee connecting with the cabinet. You needed someone to reach you before you hit the floor, but you weren't that lucky. You wrapped your arm around your belly the best you could, but as soon as you hit the floor, you were met with blackness.
-----------------------------
Bradley didn't really need practice dogfighting, but it certainly was fun anyway. Especially when he was up against Jake late in the morning. The taunting was comical and getting more absurd by the minute.
"Hey, Hangman, why don't you hang it up, man. You're done," he said as he shot the other pilot down for the third time in a row.
"Lay an egg, birdman," came the response through his helmet that made him chuckle.
Bradley was just pulling up on his throttle to gain some altitude and go again when he heard Maverick's voice crackle through his helmet.
"Wheels on the tarmac. Both of you. Rooster first, then Hangman." The tone of his voice left Bradley wondering what was going on. The weather was beautiful, and he was actually enjoying this exercise immensely. In a few hours, he'd be feeding you anything you wanted off the dinner menu at your favorite restaurant before indulging you in your very own, private silent disco.
But as soon as he touched down and started to taxi back toward the hangar, he saw Maverick and Nat running his way. Then he heard her voice through his helmet. "Open your canopy. You need to get out now. Your wife is in the emergency room."
A chill colder than ice shot through his body. Something was wrong with you or the baby, and he hadn't been there to help you. "What?" he gasped, saliva starting to pool at the back of his tongue, making it hard to swallow. "What happened?"
Nat didn't respond, but as soon as his jet came to a stop, she had his ladder ready for him. The rush of fresh air that hit him as his canopy opened did nothing to make him feel better as she shouted for him to climb down. Something happened to one of his girls. He hadn't been there. As soon as he was able to control his body, he climbed down as quickly as he could, skipping the last few rungs. When Nat reached for his hand, he could see the alarmed look in her eyes, and he started crying.
"What happened?" he asked again, but she just pulled her car keys from her pocket while she grasped his hand, and he ran with her to the parking garage.
--------------------------------
Omg, why am I doing this? I hope Nat can drive fast. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 10
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#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x you#rooster x reader#rooster imagine#rooster fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw fic#top gun imagine#top gun maverick imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#roosterforme#aim for the sky
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Control | Various x Overlord!Makima!Reader
Notes: Reader has the same powers as Makima from Chainsaw Man. Im leaving a link here in case you want to read about them in deep detail.
Warnings: HH violence - Cursing - Blood -
When a soul falls down to hell no one takes notice of it. You were lowkey thankful for it, your clothes the same ones as the one you had died were dity with mud and blood. Your white shirt was ruined, your black coat had holes on it.
Thats a magnificent disaster
You never expected you would be stabed in the back by one coworker, and that would be the cause of your death. But your greed was big and so was theirs so you were sure you were going to meet them down here soon.
As impressive as this was you were not under panic, maybe having to watch your back 24/7 when you were alive had helped to it.
In that dark alley you stood considering your choices when a small creature with horns appear, it showed a knife at you and jumped.
You moved your head to the side "is this a demon?" You wondered swiftly avoiding its attack. Then like instinct you raised your arm, your fingers like a gun, pointing at the demon.
"Bam" you whispered and soon the chest of the demon exploted. You looked at your fingers then at the corpse a few meters away a sadistic smile forming.
"I wonder what more I can do"
~☆~☆~☆~☆
In no time you got a name for yourself, The Control Demon. A Demon who could force others to make contracts with them, a demon who could use the power of the demons who they had a contract with.
Manipulation was your middle name. Overlords respected you and some feared you.
~☆~~☆~☆~☆
Carmilla was always wary around you, knowing your power. Her angel weapons were in reach whenever you attended a meeting. She could see behind that fake smile and eyes.
~☆~☆~☆
Zestial was amazed by your power. He knew he was strong and heavens you were stronger. He would start conversations with you only to try and get on your good side.
~☆~☆~☆
Rosie loved you, she knew you could put all the cannibal town against her but that was just amazing in her eyes, not to say, you using other overlord powers was something to enjoy.
Something she got to know was that you could force a sinner to say a name and by moving your hand that one named would explote.
~☆~☆~☆
Alastor was...well he was interested. He wanted to know if you could get him out of his own contact but then again for that he would have to confess that he had a leash on. Something he did not want to do at all.
~☆~☆~☆~
When Charlie first meet you she was...scared. Listening to your name being told and the stories....but she was sure something good was in everybody so of course she opened her hotel doors for you. Even if you were only there to see the place.
~☆~☆~☆
Vaggie straight up hated you. If Alastor was a pest then you were worse. She did not want nothing to do with you. But she also knew she was no competition against you. Specially after seeing your spiral eyes as you moved away her weapon.
"Please, at least learn how to proper use it, angel"
~☆~☆~☆~
Lucifer was charmed!!
Yes the king of hell fell for your sweet words and compliments like a young fella.
"Your majesty its a pleassure to meet the one who rules in here" You said bowing towards the short king who was suprised by your polite self.
You ended showing him the place after Alastor killed the other sinners and told him sweet nothings about hell and him. How you always have wanted to meet him (no). And he ate all up.
That night Lucifer ended on his bed blushing hard thinking about you.
~☆~☆~☆
Vox had tried to follow you only to end with a panic attack as he saw your spiral eyes staring back at him from one monitor.
"Its not polite to spy you know"
And now Vox has nightmares of you.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#alastor x reader#lucifer x reader#vox x reader#carmilla x reader#zestial x reader
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STALKER!NERD!ANAKIN HEADCANONS
TW: at some point it contains sexual content, so if you're sensitive to that or don't feel comfortable with it, please do not read it for your own safety and comfort. Death, murderer, swearing, weird behavior, psycho behavior
Author's note: got inspired by amazing @xzaddyzanakinx, check her sutff out, it's wayyy better!!!
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who at the beginning seemed like a normal cute nerd
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who would write down every small detail he learned about you in his special notebook
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who would get nervous whenever the math class was about to begin (just because you're in it too). He doesn't have a problem with math, hell, he loves this subject but not as much as he loves you. His eyes would time to time move towards to where you're sitting, his cheeks heating up as he tries to pretend he's actually paying attention to what teacher says
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin whose one of the main wishes was to finally catch your attention. To make you notice him; his love for you, his unconditional commitment, his deep interest in everything you do - from your voice to your every small part on your body. It was something he wished and prayed for, to finally catch your gaze longer than one mere second
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who began fantasizing about you late at night to make himself fall asleep sometimes
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who, when you once struggled with your laptop in class, Anakin, the tech whiz, offered to help you out. He found it as a perfect opportunity to finally have his first real interaction with you. Although nervousness creeped all over his body, stopping right at his cheeks to make them rosy. His hands were gentle as they glided over the keyboard, but you had no idea that while he was fixing your issue, he was also installing a program that gives him remote access to your laptop. He smiled at you after, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, and you thanked him—unaware that he had just gained access to every aspect of your life.
Later that night, as you were working, you noticed your laptop screen flickering for a moment. Although you brushed it off, not realizing Anakin is on the other end, watching you through your webcam. His breath catched in his throat as he watched you. The heat he couldn't just ingore rising inside him whenever he imagined what it would be like to have you by his side..every.single.day
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who's always in the library, studying furiously or working on some coding project. Yet one day, you left a book behind on accident, and of course, he’s the one who finds it. Instead of returning it to you, Anakin uses it as an excuse to hold onto something of yours—your scent lingering on the pages (at least he thinks it lingers, that it's still there), your small scribbled notes on the margins. And the way his heartbeat quickened whenever he held something you did just second ago - it was so thrilling
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who after the laptop 'help', brought himself the courage to talk to you. At first, he made sure to make it time to time and a small talks - about lessons you've just had, sometimes he tried to gossip (for the first time) about teachers he actually liked (but knew you hated) in jokey way to make you smile and agree at what he's saying - so he did baby steps that hopefully would let him get closer.
He was always obssesing over these talks, always came up to you with flushed cheeks, trying to ignore your sceptical-looking friends. Although he cursed himself after every interaction with you just because he stuttered a lot, and he wanted to make the best impression on you as possible (but who would have known that you finded it cute)
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who gave himself time (but with his often excitement it was hard) to gain your trust, to 'know' you even better than what he knew already (so you wouldn't be suspicious about him knowing certain stuff)
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was thrilled to help you with subjects you sucked at. Often staying just for you long hours in the library after lessons;
"Hi, Annie."
That soft, sugar-sweet voice pulled Anakin out of his thoughts, snapping him back to reality. He looked up, and there you were—his Aphrodite, his goddess—smiling at him, your eyes bright as you took a seat next to him, your math books gently landing on the library's wooden table.
Anakin froze for a moment, his mind swirling. How was it that you could always leave him feeling like this—flustered, vulnerable? His usual composure disappeared every time you came near. He was used to watching you from afar, secretly lingering in the shadows, but now as you were right next to him, close enough that he could smell your perfume, his mind went dizzy
He swallowed hard, trying to control the quickened beat of his heart. “Hi, y/n he said softly, forcing a gentle smile. “So, what do you need help with today?”
You sighed, flipping open your math book, brows furrowing in that adorable way you always did when you were concentrating. “sequences... I don’t get it.”
Anakin's heart lifted slightly at the request. This was his chance—his moment to shine before you. “Don’t worry, I'll help you"
"That’s so stupid," you muttered, grimacing at the another math problem in front of you. You've been doing this shit for what felt like hours and you could feel your brain slowly release more and more smoke
Anakin only chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. “It’s not stupid. You’re just learning it. Trust me, math can save your life.”
The phrase almost made you vomit “That’s a bold statement.”
He grinned, watching your pencil scratch against the paper, marveling at how even something so mundane looked graceful in your hands. “Bold but true,” he teased. “If you were stranded on a deserted island without a signal, you'd need math to find your way back home.” he folded his hands between his legs, offering you this small smile
you huffed “I’d need a map, not math.”
“And how do you think they make maps?” he shot back with a smug smirk on his face. He was nothing like this shy, stuttering guy you knew just time ago. It was more endearing, in a way “Math. Without it, you wouldn’t have a map in the first place.”
You bit your lip in thought, a small furrow appearing on your brows as you glanced back at the task in front of you. The way your lips pouted slightly as you tried to focus made Anakin’s heart skip a beat. “Math is a haunting beast,” you sighed, writing the example down. “It doesn’t help you; it ruins you.”
Anakin chuckled again, shaking his head. “That’s just a matter of perspective.” His voice softened, dropping a little lower “You just haven’t seen it the right way. I can change that, you know.”
“Can you?” your tone teasing but laced with curiosity.
“If you let me, absolutely.” His eyes sparkled while watching you, drinking in every detail of your face. He had never been this close to you ever before. And oh God, he loved it so much. He could smell the faint scent of your vanilla perfumes, every inch of your skin seemed so touchable..so soft..so-- “But you’ve got to take it seriously. Otherwise, how can I help you?”
“I am taking it seriously, Anakin. You know I’m thankful for all the time and effort you put into this.”
The word time echoed in Anakin’s mind, sending a rush of emotion through him. Time—that precious thing he spent obsessing over you, watching your every move, memorizing every little detail about you.. If only you knew how deep his admiration went, how he lived for these moments alone with you..maybe you would understand that you deserve better than some jerk you've been dating. That you deserved someone who would want to know you, who would fall to his knees and beg to know you..who would do it all just for a small glimpse of your face in the sunglight
“Don’t mention it,” he murmured, his smirk returning. “I’m always happy to help you, y/n.”
He kept the conversation light and playful, teasing you just enough to make you smile, to keep your attention on him. Just as he always dreamed. He wanted this moment to last forever—to bask in your presence, in the warmth of your voice, in the sweetness of your laughter. He wanted you to feel how much he cared, even if he couldn’t tell you the whole truth yet
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who hated your boyfriend;
“Y/n!” Jack’s sharp voice sliced through Anakin’s thoughts like a knife. “Pack your things, we’re leaving. Now.” The coldness in Jack’s tone made Anakin’s blood boil. How could anyone speak to you like that? Anakin would never dream of using such a harsh tone with you. Never.
“But I’m doing math ri—"
“Don’t care,” Jack snapped, cutting you off. “Pack your damn things. We’re leaving.”
The cruelty in Jack’s voice made Anakin seethe. The way he talked to you—like you were nothing—made his hands curl into fists under the table. Red-hot anger coursed through him, almost blinding him. Jack had no right. No right to speak to youlike that, to treat you like you were disposable. His heart pounded in his chest, the familiar obsessive urge to protect you, to be the one who cherished you, rising uncontrollably. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt or disrespected by anyone, least of all by someone like Jack.
Jack caught Anakin’s stare, eyes narrowing with disdain. “What are you looking at, nerd?” His voice was full of arrogance and venom
Anakin’s eyes flashed with rage as he turned to meet Jack’s gaze, nails digging into his skin. He wanted to punch that smug look right off his face. Oh, how satisfying it would be to watch him fall. But Jack was taller, broader, physically stronger..yet..biology confirmed that people under different emotions are able to do impossible..so could it possibly mean..
“Jack, calm down,” you interjected softly, your voice shaking just a little as you tried to smooth things over without another cut skin and running blood. “Anakin was just helping me with math.”
Yet, Jack barely glanced at you, keeping his gaze locked on Anakin's face. Both of them looked as if they were about to throw their fists on themselves. Yet, Anakin wasn't the type of guy to hurt someone..right? “Whatever. If you’re not outside in five minutes, I’m leaving without you.”
Anakin’s blood ran cold as Jack stormed out of the library. The familiar feeling of being a failure, of possibly dissapointing you because he haven't done anything, didn't stand up and react at your boyfriend's behaviour corrupted his mind. What had he just done? He was supposted to protect you, and yet, here he was sitting like a failure. This tense, uncomfortable silence did not help him. Especially when your face flushed with embarrassment, your once-bright smile long gone. What had he just done? You looked down, fiddling nervously with your pencil before turning to Anakin.
“I’m so sorry about him,” you whispered “He’s just… having a bad day, I guess. Please don’t take it personally.”
Anakin wanted to scream. Bad day? That was your excuse? You were too kind, too forgiving. Jack didn’t deserve your apologies or your understanding. Anakin’s anger roared inside him like a beast, barely contained beneath his calm exterior. Jack wasn’t just having a bad day—he was a bully, plain and simple. And Anakin hated him for it. He wanted to protect you from this, from Jack’s cruel words and rough edges. Because you deserved to be treated like a queen, not like some accessory Jack could toss around whenever he felt like it.
So there was this question ringing in his ears again - what had he just done?
“It’s okay,” he replied softly, though his voice was tight with the effort it took to hold back his anger.
You offered him a nervous smile, the light that usually brightened your face now dimmed by Jack’s harshness. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t keep you any longer… but maybe we can catch up another time?”
Before Anakin could respond, you took his pen and started scribbling something in his notebook. Your soft hand moved gracefully over the page, your pretty handwriting was what captured his attention completely. He loved how even the smallest, most mundane actions were captivating when it came to you. Because for him, you could make something as simple as writing your name feel like magic.
When you finished, you handed the notebook back to him, a soft smile playing on your lips. “It’s my number,” you said, drawing a small smiley face beside it. “We can plan another time for tutoring.”
Your number. Your phone number. Anakin stared at the page in disbelief, his heart hammering in his chest. You had just given him a direct line to you. To you. His obsession surged, almost overwhelming him. He could barely keep his hands from trembling when he took in the sight on the paper. This was it—his way into your life.
“Sure. W-we can,” he said, trying to suppress the massive grin that threatened to take over his face. “Anytime.”
you smiled again, but it was smaller now, hesitant. Your eyes flickered toward the door, where Jack had disappeared moments earlier. “Thanks again, Anakin. I’m really sorry about Jack…i-I should get going before he leaves me stranded.”
Anakin watched you pack your things, his pulse quickening with each movement you made. God, you were so perfect, so sweet, even in the face of Jack’s cruelty. And you deserved better—better than Jack, better than anyone. He even knew he doeasn't deserve you, because for him, you were more than a human. His eyes each time saw you in angelic, heavenly way. As if God alone had sent you on earth to torment him for his sins, to make him suffer. You were so pure, and he so sinful.. so..dirty in all kind of sins. He didn't feel worthy enough to even be in your presence, yet he wanted it more than anything in the world
But if you'd give him only a chance, he'd be yours. Completely. Body and soul. Without exception
“I’ll see you later, Annie,” you mumbled softly, flashing him one last smile before heading towards the door.
The sound of his nickname on your lips made his whole body tingle. He barely registered you leaving, too caught up in the way you'd looked at him, the way you'd spoken to him. The way you had given him your number. It was like a dream come true. His obsession had reached a fever pitch—his heart ached for you - to have you, hold you, not let you go..
you were his, right?
at least had to be someday..
But then there was Jack. Jack, who, again, didn’t deserve you. Jack, who treated you like dirt, who took you for granted. Jack, who yelled at you , who made your smile disappear. Jack, who Anakin hated more than anyone in the world.
Anakin’s grip tightened around his notebook, his knuckles white with the pressure. He couldn’t let Jack get away with this. He couldn’t let Jack continue to be a part of your life. It was his place in your life he took, it was his destiny and fate to be someone more than just 'a nerd who helped you out'.
But again, he hadn't done anything to stop him from treating you like this. When he could, when he really had a chance to make a difference. He simply didn't
what had he just done?
Today was the day it had to change So he had decided. He would follow you, keep his distance, and watch - like he always does. He would make sure Jack never had the chance to hurt you ever again.
With his mind set, Anakin quickly packed his things, his heart pounding with anticipation.
Today Jack Scottland would meet God.
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who killed your boyfriend;
Anakin took a deep breath as he started his car, his hands trembling with barely controlled rage. Every thought, every emotion, was singular—focused on Jack. Jack had to go. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles whitened, his breath coming out in shallow bursts. This was it. No turning back. Jack was the obstacle, the barrier between him and you. His mind wouldn’t let him rest until Jack was out of the picture—forever.
As he followed Jack’s car down the quiet road, he could feel his heartbeat quickening, pulsing in his ears. Jack, once more, didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. Anakin’s blood boiled as he replayed Jack’s words in his head—the way he had spoken to you in the most controlling, cruel, disgusting way possible. He couldn’t stand it any longer. If he didn’t do something now, he’d explode.
When Jack pulled into an empty pullout far from your house, Anakin’s pulse raced from adrenaline. This was it. His moment. Now or never.
Anakin slowed his car and parked a few meters behind, eyes locked on Jack’s vehicle. His hands still shook as he opened the trunk, pulling out his baseball bat. The weight of it felt right, felt powerful. This wasn’t a game anymore—this was war. War that he promised himself to win, to never loose, because his thropy is more than anything he could have in his life. it was you Adrenaline pumping through his blood system, perfectly mixing with the uncontrollable rage he’d been bottling up for too long.
Jack was sitting in his car, lazily scrolling through his phone, completely unaware. Anakin’s stomach twisted in disgust. He didn’t care, didn’t even realize how much of a monster he was. The sight of Jack sitting there, nonchalant, as if he hadn’t just torn you apart with his words, made Anakin sick. He had to do this. He had to protect you.
Anakin approached, bat gripped tightly in his hand, tapping it lightly against the car window. The sharp sound snapped Jack’s attention.
“Get out,” Anakin hissed, his voice low and dangerous as if he was a completely diffrent person
Emotions, especially at a high intensity, impact our ability to make rational decisions - nature echoed amongst the pure hatred
“What?” Jack’s expression shifted from confusion to irritation as he slowly lowered the window.
“I said get the fuck out of the car.”
Jack sighed, clearly annoyed as he pushed open the car door, stepping out with a condescending sneer. “Listen, man, I don’t know what your prob—”
The moment Jack’s foot hit the ground, Anakin swung. The bat connected with a sickening crunch against Jack’s side, sending him sprawling to the ground with a grunt of pain. Blood sprayed from his mouth as he gasped for air, clutching his ribs. Yet, Anakin didn’t hesitate; he stepped closer, the fury burning brighter with each moment.
“You think you can treat her like that and just get away with it?” Anakin’s voice was harsh, gritted through clenched teeth as he stood over Jack, eyes wild with fury.
Jack groaned, rolling onto his back, blood dribbling from his lips."What the hell are you talking about?"
anakin's jaw clenched "pathetic excuse of a man"
Before Jack could add anything, Anakin brought the bat down hard, aiming for his head. Jack rolled out of the way just in time, the bat slamming into the dirt beside him. The impact sent a jolt through Anakin’s arms, but he didn’t stop. He swung again, but Jack was quicker this time, scrambling to his feet and grabbing hold of the bat, yanking it toward him.
For a brief moment, they struggled, locked in a vicious tug of war with the bat. Jack, stronger and bigger, managed to kick Anakin hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Anakin gasped, stumbling backward, but the rage inside him only intensified.
Jack seized the opportunity, landing a brutal punch to Anakin’s face, sending blood spraying from his nose. The taste of iron filled his mouth, but it didn’t matter. He barely felt the pain. All he could think about was Jack—the smug look on his face, the way he had spoken to you, belittled you.
Anakin roared, using the force of his rage to swing the bat hard against Jack’s face, smashing into his cheekbone with a sickening crack. Blood splattered across the side of the car as Jack crumpled to the ground, his face a mangled mess of blood and broken skin.
But Jack wasn’t done yet. He spat blood from his busted lips, managing a weak chuckle “So this is about her, huh? You’re fucking pathetic, man. You think beating me up will make her love you? You’re fucking psycho. She’ll hate you more than she ever hated me.”
Anakin’s vision blurred with anger, anger, nothing but anger, everything going red. He swung the bat again, this time aiming for Jack’s chest. Jack barely managed to roll out of the way, but not fast enough—Anakin’s bat clipped his shoulder with enough force to make the bones crack. Jack screamed, the sound piercing the night air, but Anakin didn’t care.
Jack lunged at Anakin, tackling him to the ground, fists flying. The two of them grappled in the dirt, blood mixing with sweat as they traded blows. Jack landed a solid punch to Anakin’s jaw, sending him reeling. Blood dripped from both their faces, coating their clothes in crimson colour.
"fucking--" another hit to anakin's face "psycho--" he panted, but before he could aim another hit, anakin grabbed his wrist, rolling them over
After mucch hits, anakin twisted his body, managing to grab the bat again, using it as leverage to slam Jack’s head to the ground. Blood slipped everywhere, yet it wasn't enough. With shaky legs, Anakin stood up and grabbed a handful of jack's hair only to smack his face into the side of his own car. The crack of Jack’s skull against the car's doors made Anakin feel an intense surge of power, almost a twisted satisfaction. Jack groaned, as if it was the only sound that could leave his already shattered face
yet it wasn't enough
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who, with great care, made sure to get rid off any tools of the crime - he was awfully smart for that. It was almost weird..how a man who was his parent's contentment, now just killed a guy for a girl he was obsessed about..
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who had a special folder for the videos from the camera on your laptop, special folder for your photos he was obsessing about even after such a long time, he still collected new things
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was nervous (but tried to hide it) when police found Jack's body.
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was for you when you grieved over the death of your toxic ex and months later, his wildest dreams came true - he was dating you. Was free to worship you, admire you.
He was addicted to you even more after the first date. Because this time, it was him who made you smile so much your cheeks hurt. It was him who made you laugh till your stomach hurt. It was the only type of pain he let himself give you
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who felt extremely free in your presence. All his fantasies, all his dreams came true. He almost felt like on a cloud nine - so perfect, so light, so happy (despite of what he had done);
“Gonna keep teasing me like this all the time?” he asked with a lazy grin, propped up on one elbow on the bed.
“I’m not teasing you,” you replied with playfulness “Just showing off my new dress.”
The dress, a deep shade of red, highlighted your curves and drew attention to your most elegant lines. It clung to your form in all the right places, making you look absolutely stunning.
His eyes wandered over you, taking in every detail. The way the dress accentuated your body left him breathless. You were beautiful in everything you wore, but this dress—this was something extraordinary. “So, you put this on just to make me feral? Because you’re definitely succeeding.” he chuckled, leaning up on his elbow.
“I just wanted to know if you like it,” your smirk deepening as you gracefully crawled onto his lap, like a cat curling up to its favorite spot.
“Oh, I definitely like it,” his voice filled with admiration and a hint of playfulness. “But it’s not just the color that’s catching my attention.” His eyes roamed over your curves with unabashed appreciation once more.
“Oh really?” you giggled, your laughter a sweet melody that seemed to enchant him further. Your smile was radiant, and the way you looked at him made his heart swell.
“Mhm,” he responded, his own smile widening as he pulled you closer. His eyes continued their admiring journey “You’re so, so gorgeous. Did you really think I wouldn’t like it?” his fingers gently grazing the hem of your dress.
“I hoped you’d drool all over it, to be honest” your smile playful and tender as you delicately removed his glasses and put them on yourself.
Anakin’s smile grew even wider. The sight of you wearing his glasses, combined with the way you sat on his lap, made him feel like the luckiest man alive. His joy was almost overwhelming. He could barely contain his excitement. “I’d drool over you in anything, you know that,” his voice filled with adoration and a hint of humor. His heart was soaring, knowing that this perfect moment, with you, was his reality. "Even in a potato sack"
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who had a deep need to observe you 24/7, at least in most of his free time. Because what if someone will hurt you? Or you'll hurt yourself and he'd not know, appear too late to help. So, he felt obligated to watch you
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who stole some of your panties when you weren't looking and kept them in his apartment, not daring himself to even think about putting them into a washing machine
Stalker!Nerd!Anakin who was horribly obsessed with leaving marks all over your body;
“You’re leaving me hickeys,” you whined, glancing at the mirror to see the fresh, juicy marks on your neck to collection
“Can’t help it,” he replied with a smirk, wrapping his arms around your waist to connect his lips with your (this time) exposed shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses and gentle bites. The hickeys were more than just marks—they were declarations of his love, signs that you were his and his alone. He wanted everyone to see that you belonged to him. And if people wouldn't see your marks, he wanted to make sure you would knew who you belong to. His lips moved to your ear, whispering the phrase that made you shiver “Though I’d say my favorite is still the one on your ass.”
“You’re such an asshole,” you flushed and headed back to the bed
He chuckled, settling beside you and immediately pulling you close. His arms wrapped around your frame and he nuzzled into your neck, planting more kisses, and adding to the huge collection of hickeys. “I think you should get it tattooed,” he suggested playfully, his lips brushing against your skin
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#anakin skywalker#hayden christensen#anakin#star wars#bunny's work#darth vader#sweet ani <3#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker x reader#:haydennation#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker fanfic#anakin skywalker fic#anakin skywalker fluff#anakin skywalker thought#anakin skywalker x you#hayden christensen x you#hayden christensen fanfiction#hayden christensen smut#stalker au#stalker yandere#stalker nerd#nerd!anakin#anakin skywalker x female reader#hayden christensen x reader
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Too sweet
John Egan X RedCross! Reader
Summary: When Y/n breaks up with Harry Crosby, Bucky goes to help her...
Warning: Asshole!Harry Crosby/+18/ smut/ riding/ unprotected sex/ p in v/ hickey/ swearing/ kissing/ alcohol/ use of Y/n
Word count: 2.7k
The band was playing as Y/n and Harry Crosby made their way into the room. It was a party for someone’s 25th mission. Y/n was excited to drink what the barman was going to propose, words on the street was that he was good with fruity drinks. It was something new for the base, they usually drank whiskey, rhum and coca cola. ‘’I’ve heard that he makes new drinks, fruitier than your usual whiskey’’ she joked, but Crosby was not laughing. He was growing tired of Y/n’s sunshine personality. He liked her, but he liked her body more. They were just having sex at first, to blow off some steam, but Y/n started to visit him, and Crosby didn’t have to balls to tell her that it was just sex.
‘’He doesn’t deserve her’’ John Egan said to his friend, Buck. ‘’I completely agree with you, he seems tired of her’’ he adds. Ever since she came on the base as a Red Cross volunteer, Bucky was in awe of her. She was so beautiful, and she had this confident attitude that attracted the Major. Bucky kept looking at her from across the room as Crosby dragged her in front of the bar. ‘’You should convince her to, y’a know, leave him’’ Rosie Rosenthal said, taking a sip of his drinks as he joined the conversation. Egan’s head turned to look at Rosie, questioning his motive, but still, John agreed with him. Helen joined the men, with her drink in the hand, she came next to Rosie. ‘’I heard that he’s the missionary king. Kinda boring if you want my opinion’’ she took a sip, smirking. Gale Cleven scoffed before looking at Y/n, the woman looked desperate for someone to save her.
She adjusted her dress, the one she wore for him. It was bright red, the buttons stopped in the middle of her breast, exposing cleavage, the dress stopped mid thigh. It was beautiful, Y/n thought she looked amazing in it; but when Harry Crosby saw her, he just said that she looked nice. It pained her, she put a lot of effort in her look to just be told that she looked nice. ‘’I’ll have a whiskey, neat’’ Crosby ordered. Y/n stuttered a little bit, she didn’t know what to say. She looked at the menu, filled with colorful drinks before choosing one with grenadine and gin. Helen came to her rescue, pulling her away from Crosby as Y/n grabbed her drink. ‘’I’m borrowing her’’ Helen said to Harry. She almost spilled her drink, but when she sat on the table, Helen looked at her. ‘’Him? Y/n you deserve better’’ she stated. ‘’We’re not official, and he’s really tired, his job is hard.’’ she excused him, again. Helen rolled her eyes, before looking at John Egan. ‘’By the look of things, you’ll never be official with him. He looks bored’’ she tries to reason her friend. Y/n fidgeted with her fingers, taking a sip of her drink. It was really tasty! ‘’It’s complicated, he’s still with Jean’’ Y/n whispered. Helen choked on her drink, almost spitting it. ‘’WHAT?!’’ she exclaimed; Y/n looked at the ground.
John Egan was looking at Y/n, that red dress suited her perfectly. She was breathtaking. When they heard Helen exclaim loudly, Buck and Rosie looked at each other. ‘’Holy shit’’ Rosie chuckled as he read Helen’s lips. ‘’What?’’ Bucky asked, looking at Rosie. ‘’If I understand correctly, he’s still with his wife’’ Rosie whispered. Bucky started to laugh. ‘’Harry Crosby, you son of a bitch’’ he mumbled, chuckling. Harry Crosby made his way into the crowd, looking for Y/n, when he got to her, he practically pulled her away from her chair. Y/n walked past Bucky, smiling to him as she was being dragged in the room.
‘’Another whiskey, neat please’’ he ordered the same thing. Y/n tried a lot of things, it was all good, she tried to convince Harry to try other things, but he was sticking with his whiskey neat. ‘’Croz, the Cosmopolitan is really good, I’m sure you’ll like – ‘’ Harry Crosby slammed his hand on the table, not to strong, but loud enough to make the woman flinch. ‘’Goddamnit, Y/n, for the last time. I don’t want to try your fruity drinks! God, how many times do I have to tell you?!’’ he said, aggressively. ‘’I, uh, I’’ she stuttered, in shock of what just happened. ‘’You and your sweet stuff. *scoff*, pathetic. Why can’t you just be like Jean, obedient and silent. No, I have to deal with your sweet and ‘I always see things in a positive way’ bullshit. Your just too sweet for me!’’ he spat. The waiter put his whiskey on the table. Y/n had enough, she took his glass and got up her seat. ‘’You know what? I’d like to see things for your point of view, but I can’t get my head so far up my ass. Fuck you Harry Crosby, we’re done. Go back to your wife, you must miss her after all!’’ she said as she threw his whiskey on him.
That’s my girl! That’s what John Egan thought when he saw Y/n throw whiskey on Harry Crosby. He had it coming for a while now. He was so proud of her; he had a huge grin on his face. ‘’Go after her’’ Helen suggested, and that’s what he did. He saw her going outside, so that’s where he went. ‘’Y/n, wait!’’ he called her out. She had pure anger running through her veins. But she knew that it wasn’t Crosby going after her. She turned around and saw him. ‘’Bucky, hi’’ she cleared her throat. ‘’Are you okay? I, uh, saw the scene’’ he scratched the back of his head. She replaced her hair, looking at Bucky. ‘’Yeah, he's such an asshole’’ she scoffed. John walked closer to her, she wasn’t crying, but she was angry at Crosby. ‘’You want to get out of here?’’ he asked her, she tilted her head in confusion. ‘’Where would we go?’’ she asked. ‘’Not out of the base, but out of this aera, where he could come out’’ he clarified. She nodded as John led her gently to his Jeep.
They entered the woman’s quarters, but they were empty, since everyone was at the party. ‘’By the way, you look astonishing in that dress.’’ He complimented her. Her cheeks grew red as she bit her bottom lip. ‘’Thank you, Bucky, I, uh, you look handsome too’’ she stuttered. ‘’Those drinks looked really good; I wished I tasted one’’ he said. Y/n smiled, truly happy. That’s all he had to do, was it so hard Harry? ‘’Yeah, they were’’ she whispers as she awkwardly looks around the room. ‘’Can I ask you a question?’’ he asked her. She nodded as she sat on her bed. ‘’Why were you with him?’’ he asks. Y/n smiles as she thinks. ‘’Honestly, I thought he was going to be nice and caring. But he wasn’t, and the sex was bad’’ she blurted out the last part, putting her hand in front of her mouth in shock. ‘’God, I’m sorry, please forget I said that’’ she chuckles nervously. ‘’Don’t worry, I already knew that Helen told me’’ he confessed.
They’ve been talking for a while now; nurses were starting to come back. ‘’You have to go; you’re not supposed to be here’’ Y/n signs. John got up, so did Y/n. ‘’I’m not ready for this night to be over’’ he confesses. She blushes as she looks at him. ‘’Me neither’’ she whispers. Bucky smirks as she takes her hand, leading her outside. They got up in his Jeep as they went inside Bucky’s quarters, since he was important on the base, he had his own room. It was in the building where everyone lived, but still, it gave him a little bit of privacy. ‘’Don’t worry about them’’ he whispered as she saw men on their bed. Some men were already sleeping, others were reading and the ones that looked at her were smiling, because they saw what happened with Crosby.
When they entered his room, she felt a weird sense of déjà vu. She’d been here, in this building multiple times with Crosby, but now, she felt like she was important. When she was here, they would have fast and boring sex, usually in missionary. After sex, Harry would fall asleep, he fell asleep around 3pm, leaving Y/n alone, bored and unsatisfied. ‘’What’s going on in your pretty head?’’ Bucky asked as he closed the door. ‘’Nothing, I’m happy to be here’’ she said, not too loudly. Bucky smiled; she was so beautiful. She got comfortable, taking her shoes off and taking a seat on his bed, where he joined her after taking off his jacket. He was a little bit nervous, only because she was so beautiful. ‘’What did Helen told you, y’a know, about the sex?’’ she asked, smiling. Bucky chuckled and looked at her in the eyes. ‘’That he was the missionary king, and it was boring’’ he explains. ‘’Yeah, uh, she’s right.’’ She laughed nervously. ‘’He was that bad?’’ he asked. Y/n nodded as she blushes. ‘’He was’’ she whispers.
The air in the small room felt hot and thick. They’ve been talking about sex for a while and Y/n was hot, the small room was not helping. ‘’Tell me something true’’ Y/n said. He let out a breath before finding the courage to say what he was about to say. ‘’I really want to kiss you right now’’ he breathed out. Her breath caught in her throat as she blinked and looked at him. ‘’Tell me something true, Y/n.’’ he said seductively. She didn’t even have to think twice. ‘’I really want you to kiss me’’ she breathed out. She looked at his eyes, then his lips and his eyes again. Their face was so close, the air in the room was so heavy. Bucky put his hands on her cheek before pressing his lips on hers. The kiss felt like sunrise, it felt so good. Harry Crosby wasn’t a good kisser, but John Egan was a really good kisser. They pulled away to catch their breaths. ‘’Please… Don’t stop’’ she whispered. ‘’I wasn’t planning on it’’ he smirked. Their lips crashed against the other again, this time, it was more intense. Bucky hands trailed down her body, he laid down on the bed, making Y/n got on his lap.
His hands were getting under her skirt, trailing on her thighs, getting closer to her panties. ‘’That red dress is driving me crazy’’ he mumbled against her lips. Her hips grinned against his lap, she felt him growing hard under her. ‘’At least, someone found it hot’’ she chuckled. ‘’Yeah, more than hot – ‘’ his hips buckled, making her feel his boner. ‘’- Feel that? That’s what that dress does to me’’ he smirked. ‘’Just a dress? It doesn’t take you much’’ she giggles. He scoffed before kissing her neck. ‘’Yeah, just that. You looked like a goddess’’ he sucked the skin on her neck, making a mark. She was out of breath, she wasn’t used to this much foreplay, she felt a little dizzy, but it was in the best way possible. His hands were still on her thighs, playing with her panties, taunting her a little bit. But, even if she loved what was happening, she was frustrated, she needed Bucky right now. ‘’Major, I need you. I love the foreplay and stuff, but please; I need you’’ she breathed out. He smirked as he reached her panties. ‘’Whatever you want, darling’’ he said as he took her panties off. Her hands reached his belt, she unbuckled it as she eagerly watched him. ‘’As long as I love this dress, I want to see you’’ he said, unbuttoning her dress. ‘’Then, let me see you’’ she replied, looking at him.
They quickly undressed before going in the same position they were in before. She was naked, on top of him, Bucky was also naked. She was soaking wet, she wasn’t used to this much attention, so it turned her on a lot. ‘’Ride me, sweetheart, c’mon’’ he encouraged her. She sunk down on him, her breath caught in her throat because of the size of his length. ‘’Holy shit’’ she moaned. ‘’Breath, Y/n, take your, shit, take your time’’ he mumbled. His head was thrown back, she was really tight and felt heavenly. She began grinding on him, slowly, to make sure that it didn’t hurt. ‘’Atta girl’’ he breathed out. As she familiarized herself with his size, Y/n began to move a little faster. Bucky’s hand went on her hips, he wanted to guide her. But she was going to the pace that he was looking for. ‘’You’re so big…’’ she moaned as she leaned to kiss him. He chuckled before kissing her. When she felt one of his hands on her breast, she moaned inside his mouth. He played with her tit, teasing her nipple; he loved watching her body react to him, it felt good, seeing the effect he had on her.
The heavy breathing coming out of their mouth was erotic, the fact that they had to keep quiet was pure torture. As they came closer to their orgasm, it was more difficult to keep quiet. She felt a not in her stomach, her climax was close, but a small part of herself didn’t want it to be over, she was truly enjoying it. ‘’I’m close’’ she managed to whisper. ‘’Me too, cum with me’’ he pleaded. She tried to hold her orgasm, but it was hard. Her thighs were shaking. ‘’Bucky, I need too – ‘’ ‘’Cum, now’’ he ordered. They both reached their climax at the same time, they tried to keep quiet, but the pleasure was too much. Bucky sucked her neck again to keep quiet, marking her again.
Bucky and Y/n had to take a moment to recover from what just happened, it was truly amazing, they couldn’t believe it. ‘’Thank you for this amazing sex’’ she breathed out, smiling. ‘’You’re welcome, and I agree, it was amazing’’ he smiled. She decided to sleep here, postponing her walk of shame tomorrow. She put on one of his shirts as she laid beside him. She felt happy, her stomach had butterflies. When she fell asleep, she didn’t even think about Harry Crosby, she thought about John Egan.
A knock on the door woke them up, it was potentially someone telling Bucky that he was flying today, but when she opened the door, Y/n was surprised to see Harry Crosby. When he saw her, his mouth slightly opened. ‘’Y/n, what are you doing in Bucky’s room?’’ he asked. Bucky walked behind Y/n, she felt like she had a scary dog privilege. ‘’What do you want, Croz?’’ Bucky asked. ‘’You, uh, you’re needed, the, uh, Colonel wants to see you’’ he stuttered, seeing the marks in Y/n’s neck. She looked at her watch, it was almost time for her shift. ‘’Shoot I gotta go, see y’a’’ she kissed Bucky’s neck as she put her dress on, not bothering to button it since she was going to change. Crosby had his jaw on the floor, it wasn’t a walk of shame, it was a walk of power.
She was sitting on a table; it was her break. She’d been giving out coffee for hours, she didn’t want a boring black coffee, she wanted a good coffee, with milk and sugar, sadly milk and sugar was for Majors. ‘’Is there anyone sitting here?’’ Harry Crosby asked, with two cups of coffee in his hands. She didn’t want to talk to him, but he sat down on the table anyway. He pushed one cup in front of her: black coffee. Y/n looked at the cup, then slowly rose her head to look a Crosby. ‘’What do you want?’’ she asked. ‘’I’m so sorry for yesterday, I didn’t know – ‘’ she cut him off with her hand. ‘’Crosby, you came here to get me back?’’ she asked, with a hint of disgust. He nodded. ‘’I don’t want to hear it, you humiliated me, told me I was boring, and you’re married!’’ at the same time, Bucky came to sit next to her, handing her a cup of coffee with milk and sugar. ‘’Milk and sugar, just how you like it’’ he smiled as he sat down. Bucky kissed her cheek before looking at Crosby. ‘’You said it yourself, Harry, I’m too sweet for you’’
#callum turner#callum turner x reader#callum turner imagine#master of the air#master of the air imagine#john egan x reader#major john egan#john egan#gale buck cleven#harry crosby#rosie rosenthal#Spotify
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I’m gonna need 5-10 business days to recover from the Hazbin Hotel season 1 finale.
Hazbin Hotel episode 7 and 8 spoilers (because I’m going feral) and my thoughts/unhinged feelings about it because no one else can understand quite like tumblr can
Read at your own risk
What. The. Fuck. Guys.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
IT WAS NIFFTY WHO KILLED ADAM?!
AND SIR PENTIOUS?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! IM NOT OKAY BUT IM GLAD HE IS
Lucifer “now I’m gonna fuck you” Morningstar everyone (plz I love him so much)
So Carmilla knew who Vaggie really was and just, didn’t give a shit? Love her for that
I love Rosie. Her design, her personality, she’s amazing. She was so sweet to Charlie when she didn’t have to be and actually listened to her and encouraged her (points for the relationship advice)
So Alastor is on someone’s leash and he’s trying to wiggle his way out of it, the Vees are plotting (of course they are), and LUTE KNOWS LILITH?! THEY MADE SOME KIND OF DEAL?!
I’m so so curious about how Lute and Lilith know each other and why Lute would want her to deal with her daughter
But this implies that Adam had a previous deal with Lilith regarding something we don’t know yet, since Lute said she was in charge now that he was dead and that their deal pertained to her now
ALSO?! You’re telling me that’s what Adam looked like under his mask?! (I still loathe him but lowkey he was hot I’ll be honest right now)
Sir Pentious telling Cherri he loved her was so sweet
I soaked up every single scrap of Huskerdust I could within those last two episodes they own my soul and I’m so excited to see more of them in season 2
So it looks like Vox thinks Alastor is missing again which is why he’s plotting with the other Vees, but Alastor showed back up at the hotel during repairs so that might not last long
Alastor’s fight with Adam was so good holy shit omfg plz give me more of Alastor’s powers that shield was so cool and his verse in that final song gave me chills like, oh my god he was so mad and I’m here for it
And Lucifer showing up and telling Charlie she changed his heart and mind about the sinners? He is so precious plz protect this duck loving man at all costs
Charlie and Vaggie’s More Than Anything Reprise? Please I am sobbing they love each other so much it hurts
To top it all off- Alastor having beef with literally everyone will never not be funny. Fucking Susan? Are you kidding me. I was laughing so hard. Rosie seems like she deals with Susan a lot and Alastor calling her an Ornery Bitch was so fucking funny for no reason.
Everyone has beef with Susan now.
There is so much I have to say about this show and I could literally talk about it for years but for now I will be repeatedly listening to the soundtrack and impatiently waiting for season 2 because I no longer have the will to live after I sobbed on my bedroom floor over this show. VIVIENNE I AM IN YOUR WALLS-
#Hazbin Hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#Hazbin hotel spoilers#vivziepop#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#huskerdust#hazbin hotel lute#hazbin hotel adam#sir pentious#Cherri bomb#Cherri and sir pentious#husk x angel dust#charlie x vaggie#charlie morningstar
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the brothers being caught jerking off content is sooo good, would you be down for writing a reverse where MC gets caught jerking off thinking of the brothers? (and the dateables!)
the brothers + dateables (minus luke) reaction to walking in on MC touching themself.
the brothers + dateables x gn!reader
summary: caption guys.
warnings: embarrassment, masturbating, stuttering, cocks, eating out, fingering.
a/n: guys school started so i didn't really write a lot and my laptop crashed a few mins ago while i was almost done with writing and it didn't autosave, i'm so thankful for all the love on my other posts. i tried to keep this as genderneutral as possible. requests are still open!! --------------------------------- LUCIFER
he knocks on your bedroom door but doesn't give you enough time to fix your pants.
you stare at each other for a bit until he clears his throat and looks away so you can fasten your pants again.
while waiting for you to fix yourself a tent is forming in his pants, thinking back on the way you laid splayed out, hair stuck on your forehead, cheeks rosy colored, making his clothed cock twitch.
might as well call you to his office later to talk about it, maybe add some physical touch too, since his cock won't stop bulging in his pants at just the thought of you.
MAMMON
knocking? what's that?
when he catches you in the act, hand still on your private part, he needs some time to realise what just happened.
shakes his head in disbelief, thought you were a saint who would never do this, will not stop thinking about it when he's alone in his room.
secretly hopes you're busy with yourself again, every time he enters your room, so he can ask if he can join you, since he regrets he didn't ask it the first time.
LEVIATHAN
doesn't knock either, and just storms into your room.
he doesn't even realize what you were doing until he sees how red your face is, the way your eyes are glossy from embarrassment, your pants still open, and your intimate part still visible.
literally just runs away and stays in his room the whole day, doesn't go to dinner either, just because he's embarrassed to see you.
all that time alone with his own thoughts about you has his dick going hard, he might as well be fisting his cock the whole day while thinking about you, alone in his room.
SATAN
normally does knock, but of course, the one time he doesn't, this happens.
''oh... how unfortunate.'' 🧍♂️, he says that while he knows he loves it, sees how embarrassed you are so he just leaves you alone.
when he tries to read his books, he catches himself re-reading the same sentence four times now. he just can't stop thinking about you.
will definitely make remarks, and tease you but more in an indirect way, so it stays between you two.
ASMODEUS
of course he won't knock, why would he? what do you have to hide from him anyways?
''you were doing this, without me?'' he pouts as he comes closer, closing the door behind him.
if you allow him, he'll show you how good he is with his hands, fingers softly stroking and teasing.
if you don't he'll just watch you masturbate, since you look so cute when you do so.
BEELZEBUB
ended up in your room after following the amazing scent he had been smelling.
is a bit shocked when he realizes where it's coming from.
''can i try it out?'' he asks you with puppy eyes, he was so excited to feel it in his mouth after he's been so eager to find this scent of your arousal.
is unsurprisingly good with his mouth, tongue lapping around, swirling, sucking and he won't stop. it's like endless plates of food for him, it isn't until you have to beg him to stop, that he stops.
BELPHEGOR
suddenly he's wide awake when he sees what's going on.
loves the view, stands with arms crossed in the doorstep as he licks his lips, tells you to keep going, no matter how embarrassed you are, and doesn't even understand what you're so embarrassed of since you look so damn good.
his pants start pressing up against his crotch, so he'll have to release his hard cock now.
whenever mammon brags about how he's your first man, he'll definitely ask him if he ever saw your private part too, now he has something to be first in with you too.
DIAVOLO
stands there for a bit, not sure of what he's supposed to do.
when he sees how embarrassed you are he leaves.
but comes back in your room fully naked, now you won't have to feel embarrassed anymore, right?
wrong. you feel even more embarrassed, this will now forever remain as a core memory.
BARBATOS
knocks, definitely knocks.
the way your appearance looks messier than usual doesn't go unnoticed by him, and he quickly connects the dots and realizes what you've been doing.
he smiles softly, happy that you're feeling comfortable enough to do so.
will add a light aphrodisiac in your tea, so you can continue where you started off when he leaves.
SIMEON
''oh, mc! i'm so sorry!'' he says as sweat buds appear on his forehead, he's in so much distress and embarrassed about what happened.
after you calmed him down and told him it's alright he still doesn't leave. ''you can continue, i don't want to be a burden.''
you awkwardly continue masturbating after he's been so eager for you to do so.
will chant your name and cheer you on when you climax.
SOLOMON
there's no way you didn't do this on purpose. that's what he thinks even though he is the one that walked in on you.
he tells you how cute you look when you masturbate, and doesn't even care that you're super embarrassed.
a bulge starts forming in his pants and he swiftly releases his cock with a soft groan.
''mc, wanna help each other out here?'' he asks with a big grin.
#obey me#obey me x mc#obey me smut#obey me dateables#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor#diavolo#barbatos#simeon#solomon#om!#obey me x reader#smut
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haunted
* why deny yourself the finer things in life like a good nap and some good pussy.
roronoa zoro x reader
summary: in mihawks castle, resides another girl aside from perona. spending her days in his library, writing and reading until she passes out just to do it all over again. this is until zoro comes along, finding himself in her presence in his free time
warnings: smut. porn with plot (too much plot) elven!afab!reader. nerdy girl x gruff guy. pnv, unprotected sex (guys cmon), cunnilingus, finger fucking, throat fucking all of the above. pet names/praise (princess and good girl). cumming inside…cum cum cum. multiple orgasms. ZOROS A FREAK! very slight dub con if you SQUINT.
authors note: requests are open
roronoa zoro never really found himself with free time when he was training. eye scar n all, he chose to overwork himself until he passed out. until he was bandaged up. until he felt like all of his joints would give way if he didn’t just stop. his free time lied in those long sleeps he’d take after being ripped open, forced to heal before he could continue fighting.
although, when his training was stunted by these deep cuts and wounds he would wander.
wandering the castle while unable to train was like walking through a maze, and he always did it to clear his head until he’d realize he was lost once again…yet coming across the extensive library proved to be like finding treasure at the end of a map.
zoros calloused hands gripped the knob of the door, peaking his head in, seeing dim candles light the giant room, a tower filled with books covered walls and glass stained windows, all surrounding a floor of stacked books and tables to study at.
while someone stood up against a wall, looking for a book, he has yet to see them. walking in, not addressing anyone to see if he was alone or not. his foots slid across the ground, impressed by the sheer amounts of colorfully bound books covering the walls. although, he was even more impressed at the idea that migawk had collected all of these in his lifetime.
Zoro believed there was this saying that noble swordsman must live by, and that was to indulge yourself in the things that make you happy. at least in healthy doses. happiness provides a clear mind, and a clear mind creates a great swordsman…
zoro was pondering as he walked, thinking of what had been said to him while he found himself staring up into the tower, staring at the peak it formed into from below. he barely made any noise but as he grazed his leg past a pile of books, one fell, clattering onto the ground.
“shit..” he whispers. he has still yet to see the person who calls out from the ledge that circles these walls
“hello?!” a voice calls down, causing zoro to jump, looking up at the walls scanning for a person. finally he sees you, as you’re standing there, your hands placed gently on the railing as you stare down at him, your hair falling around your face.
“hello?” he says, curious to see you here although he’s never seen you before.
“you must be zoro!!” you call from the ledge, smiling down at him, bringing your hand up to wave at him. “perona told me someone had been staying here.. but i haven’t been down since you got here..” a smile formed across your rosy cheeks. “give me a second”
zoro was stunned, not really knowing what to say as you made your way down the stairs, watching as your features became more clear to him. he was mostly shocked that there had been another person in the castle without him even knowing. but he really didn’t enjoy reading, nor was he amazing at reading books and fully comprehending them like nami or robin. he noticed your pointed ears almost immediately, long but covered mostly by your hair, earrings dangling from them.
as you approached him, with a soft smile on your face, you dipped to the ground in order to grab the book at his feet. “this is a book i’ve been studying recently, sorry it’s in your way..”
“oh no you’re.. you’re fine.” he cracked a smile, watching as you put the book onto the table next to him. standing up straight, you look him in the eyes, craning your head back just a bit to see him.
“oh wow you really do have green hair.” a soft laugh leaving you as you held your hand out. “im y/n… i live up here .. well i don’t live up in the library. i live in a room down the hall, but i spend most time up here… sorry im rambling. i get excited when i meet new people because i mostly spend my time with mihawk and perona.”
he took your hand, shaking it gently, watching as his hand engulfed yours. “i’m zoro.” he spoke sternly. “uh what do you do up here?” he said, letting your hand go, watching as it fell back to your side… then around your back… then to your hair.
“i write books for mihawk for him to read, at least that’s what i mostly do. im a writer, i write stories based off real events, i write about mihawk adventures, i write about all sorts of stuff but i just write.” he nods, thinking about how your work could possibly help him once he hears that you write for mihawk.
“does that mean his stories are in this library?” he asked, leaning back against the table, watching as you began to move around. cleaning up so he wasn’t in your clutter.
“yes actually! all of his books are on this lower level. some are small and some are big. i’ve written about his battle with you, actually.” a smile snuck on your face as you turned to him, watching as he flushed with a little embarrassment. “that was one of my favorites, you definitely are a brave swordsman.”
“do you think i could read some of them some time? i want to understand his fighting style a lot more or.. better i guess.” he said, turning around to see you across the room, putting books back and pulling more out.
“yes of course! why else would i write so much if it weren’t for people to read?” your smile grew as he asked the question, knowing you never wanted anything more for someone aside from perona and mihawk to read your writings.
you came back over to zoro, books up to your chin, all about mihawks fights, including the one about zoro himself.
“these are a few of them, they’re genuinely just biographies about his entire life. i’ve been writing for him for a long time now… some are wordy, some aren’t.” you shrugged as you sat them down, encouraging him to come closer. “um… i don’t mind if you take them back to your room but please do be kind to my books, i do work hard on them.”
he shot a gentle smile at you. “yes maam.” he grabbed one. in all of this excitement of meeting a new person, you didn’t really get a good look at him until now, but now mellowing out, you see his eye scar along with the muscles that protrude from his milky colored bandages that cover his torso and arms.
“um.. whenever you need a break… you should come up here.. it’s always quiet..” your mouth goes dry a little as you speak, suddenly gawking at him… at how gorgeous he simply is.
“i’ll remember that.” he smiles at you, his charming manner kicking your ass, feeling your stomach flip. “hopefully i won’t get lost on the way here next time.”
no way you’re actually attracted to this guy you’ve met maybe 15 minutes ago. but you hope that he’ll make his way back in the next few days, just to observe him again.
zoro smiled at you before leaving, you watched the scar across his chest wrinkle in his skin as he turned away. gently shutting the door behind him, your face turned pink, the tips of your ears feeling hot.
——————
sitting at one of the tables, writing, you can hear mihawks voice from down the hallway, speaking to himself as he approaches the library. gentle knocks sound on the door as you’re already standing to go meet him.
“hello mihawk!” you say as you lean against the door, opening it.
“hi, y/n… i have your dinner. i heard you met zoro today?” he said, handing you the plate of food. he or perona tend to bring you food rather than you all eating together. you were always busy in your own world and that’s why mihawk kept you around.
“i did! i gave him a few books to read… about you.. if that’s okay.”
“yes it is. he can afford to learn a thing or two from a different perspective.” a small smile cracked on his face, rare occurrence from the tall vampirish man.
“good!” you beamed when turning to leave. “is that all?” you said, pushing your face over your shoulder to see him again. he nodded, grabbing the handle to the door in order to shut it.
“have a good night y/n. come down once in a while, you don’t wanna become sick from being up here all alone.” he spoke as the door shut, hearing a thud and a click before you sat your food down, sitting down with it to eat.
as you ate the meal, you pondered zoro. you wondered what he did while he was here besides fighting. besides wondering how he can get better. but once you think about what he does… you think about him… his muscles and his hair, his face and his eye. his three earrings the brush up against his skin when he emotes with his hands. his scars are enamoring.
—————————
after that day, sleeping soundly in your bed at the idea of him, you didn’t see him for days. even wandering the halls outside of your library, you don’t see him. right now something aside from writing has peaked your interest and that’s the man that borrowed three books from you that he should bring back any time soon now buy just hasn’t.
“maybe he just doesn’t read fast.” you mumbled to yourself as you walk back up to the library, opening the door to see a tall man looking at the wall of books through the corridor of the library.
“zoro!” a smile formed across your face as a pep was pushed into your step while you walked, although wondering how he possibly slipped past you while you explored for him.
he slowly turned his head, seeing you, your hair put up while a dress flowed past your knees. it was dark, shifting between black and red depending on where it hugged your body. he got distracted, watching your hips maybe a little too long before he had realized you were walking right up to him.
as he fully turned around, a smile forms on his face. “hi, sorry it took me so long to come back up here. perona told me i could fight again so i did that and read my books before i slept.” his hand flew up to rub the back of his neck, showing off the muscle in his bicep as he did so, leaving your cheeks pink.
“it’s okay.. as long as they were brought back in one piece” your voice was cheery
“i left the books on the table over there. i wasn’t sure where they went and i knew you’d rather do it yourself then see me put it in the wrong place.”
you turned around, walking over to the table, observing the books. picking one up , you flipped through the pages making sure nothing had been ripped. staring at them, you suddenly felt a frame against your back, his body heat radiating off of him.
“i … uh..” his voice trailed off, not wanting to piss you off for messing up your book.. “one of the pages got ripped. just in the corner but it was just something that happened.” he watched as you picked up the book. reaching over your shoulder, his bicep pressing against your neck as you involuntarily shifted closer to him, pointing to the book. “this one.” he spoke softly.
“it’s okay” you whisper, opening the book to see the small tear in the middle. “oh this is an easy fix” you say turning to look up at him, a reassuring smile on your face. a smile forms on his face as well, realizing you wouldn’t be upset with him. your body was close to his, your face meeting his chest observing the golden chain around his neck. tilting your head back to look up at him, his cheeks tinted a soft shade of pink while he quickly realizes he needs to step away.
pulling his arm from your shoulder, he takes a swift step back. “do you want to see how i fix them?” you ask as you walk towards a table with materials skewed across it.
“i don’t care too much, but ill watch you do it just to see you..” he spoke just low enough for you to hear, watching the tips of your ears burn a little, trying to mask your reaction on your face with a small smile.
you tried to ignore the burning on your face as you stood over the table, opening the book, working at the rip to fix it. he leaned against the wall, across from you, watching you as your gentle hands cared for the book like it was sentient.
“you seem to care about these books a lot..” he spoke, watching as your fingertips pressed down on the tear as it was fused back together,
“i do. i spend a lot of time making them” he watched as your lips curled into a smile, thinking about how much you cared about what you do for mihawk. finishing up, you turn to zoro “do you want some more books about mihawk? or are you booked out.” tilting your head slightly, he watched you expose the soft skin of your neck unknowing to the thoughts that filled his head as he watched you.
“you can give me a few more.”
you nodded him into the direction of the case, walking over to it while he stood behind you, watching how light your steps were, how your dress held your legs while you walked.
he didn’t really know what had overcome him, but the fact that this beautiful woman had been in this castle the entire time he had been here and he didn’t know, was almost sickening to him. hes not a womanizer by any means but a man has his needs and knowing how much you stay up here alone, a woman does too. ‘i wonder if her and mihawk-‘ hes snapped out of his thoughts by your voice.
picking out a few more books, his thoughts had become more consuming, simply staring at your lips , your eyes, your chest while you spoke…he had to leave or he just couldn’t bare it anymore. where were these thoughts just a week ago.
———
exchanging a few works as zoro left, he pondered how on earth he could find an excuse to see you again, just to see your face, your hair, your body, whatever dress you’d wear… god why was he so whipped over you after only seeing you twice. making his way to his room, he soon let exhaustion fall over him as he fell into his bed, falling asleep.
zoro slept for what felt like hours until peronas voice crept into his ear, whispering about dinner until he shook awake, pushing her away. “PERONA.” he griped, sitting up, holding his head.
she giggled as she handed him two plates. “here! take one up to y/n” she smiled, knowing he had finally found out about her presence by her lack of being able to find him earlier in the day, knowing he must have found the library. his cheeks were a soft pink, perona pretended to not notice as she floated out of the room, leaving him to his own devices.
zoro had pulled on a clean shirt, weird behavior for him, before taking the food up the stairs and down the hallway. gently knocking on the door before entering, you had expected to see mihawk behind the door but was almost overjoyed to see zoro with two plates… was he going to eat with you?
when he had left earlier in the afternoon you sat there in the library, almost bringing yourself to tears as you giggled over him. no man had you giggle like that since you were a young teenager in your hometown and even then, nothing compared to watching his big hands hold your books or the way he reached his arm over your shoulder in order to point to the page. and that gold chain? or the way his arms flexed when you had scared him… or just the way he looked. his eye scar? oh my god you can’t even keep a straight train of thought.
“i hope you don’t mind me eating with you, perona urged me to” he kicked the door shut with his foot, walking up to the table you had been sitting at.
“no not at all! let me clean up the table” you smiled brightly at him, grabbing piles of papers and books, sitting them down on the ground and putting them in different piles, clearing off the table enough for you to eat, as the dim candles and moon light lit the room from above. you cleaned off a chair and allowed him to sit across from you. he sat a plate down in front of your seat, meeting you at his chair. “mihawks cooking is nothing like an old friend of mine, sanjis, but it certainly is good” he shrugged. “but i’m sure you knew that, you’ve been here longer than i have” a nervous laughter filled him, trying to ignore how close he was to you until you went to go sit back down.
“who’s this sanji guy?” you question as you sit down, bringing your knees into your chair, almost like mihawk had taught you nothing in regards to table manners.
“well uh.. i was a pirate but we were all sent to different places to train.. he was our cook.” he forked his food.
“oh that’s right! you’re apart of the straw hats. your captain is monkey d luffy” your eyes lit up thinking about the stories mihawk had told you about them.
“yeah! i’m assuming mihawk had told you about us?”
“yeah but not because you were coming here, it was from when he had fought you guys a year or so ago.. i heard you were only a small crew back then. i assume it’s grown?”
“a lot, i miss my friends but i care more about training right now. i promised to my captain that id become the strongest for him.” you watched the soft smile on his face grow, thinking about his memories with his friends. the two of you sat in silence for a bit while you both ate, gentle hums of joy filled the room. although mihawks food wasn’t the best zoros ever had, it was almost the best you had had. you hated when perona cooked because mihawks was just better.
the two of you had finished eating and your plates were stacked on the table, after eating you continued to talk, sitting on the couch in the nook of the library, in a similar area to where your repair table had been. sitting at opposite ends of the couch, facing each other, telling each other of your lives prior to living in the castle. he was all ears listening to your life, wanting to know where you came from and if everyone else had ears like yours.
over time the two of you grew closer together, both of you standing up occasionally and sitting down closer to the other. getting up to grab books and sitting back down to show him, until your thighs pressed against each others, your body flushed against his as his arm wrapped around your shoulder again, pointing to something in an old book.
you could smell him, assuming mihawk made him shower more regularly than he would on a boat, he smelled nice. over time you pressed your body even more so into his, feeling comfortable against his warm skin. his hand was draped over your chest, brushing against your breast as you both spoke. you tried to ignore it as you brought your knees to your chest, pressing your thighs together.
the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife, leaving you hopeless in order to escape the emotions you had felt seeing him earlier that day.
“zoro..” you spoke softly as you turned to look up at him. he had a fierce look on his face, obviously holding back when he peered down at you. “do you-“
your words were cut off as his hand held your cheek pulling you in, pressing his lips against yours. it almost felt like a movie as your eyes fluttered shut, accepting his kiss, letting the book in your hands fall to the ground. slowly, he pulled away, his eyes meeting yours as you opened yours again.
“do i what?” he mumbled.
“nevermind.” boldly, you grabbed his face again, pulling him into another kiss. turning your body more towards him. his hand feel from your chest down to your side, pulling you in. his strong hand capturing your waist.
two small kisses turned into longer sloppier kisses, his strong hands pulling you into his lap. the skirt of your dress riding up your legs onto your thighs as your legs sat on either side of his hips. his hands found the dip in your dresses back, his hands caressing the skin of your lower back. you could feel the callouses on his palms, rough against you as he pulled you in, pushing your hips up against his.
your arms were wrapped around his neck, your hands twirling his hair in your fingers. his soft hair felt so nice in your fingers and you could hear a soft moan leave his lips as you tugged at it every so often.
slowly, his lips moved down your to your neck, placing kisses across your skin before gently biting down on a place near the side of your neck so you could cover it with your hair, sucking your skin between his teeth. he moaned at the taste of your perfume. pulling away, he soothed the ache against your skin with his tongue before moving around your neck again.
“zoro…” his name fell from your lips as he urged your hips into his, using his pinkies to press into the dips of your ass. he pulled away, looking down at you, your face flushed while your hips ground up against his impatiently. soon you felt his hands grope your ass before picking you up. “put your legs around my waste” he spoke as you locked your feet behind his back, holding onto his neck while he stood. he carried you over to one of the tables, sitting you down on the edge. leaning down over you, he pulled you into a kiss again, his hands coming up to the straps of your dress.
“is this okay?” he mumbles sweetly. a soft sound of assurance leaves you as he pulls the straps of your dress down, exposing your bare breasts, nipples pebbling under the cold air of the room. he guided your arms out from under the straps, letting your dress fall past your belly. “can you lay back baby?” he spoke against your lips, his calloused hands rubbing down your back, guiding you to lay down, his other hand gently holding your thigh as your legs wrapped around his waist.
laying you down, his lips moved from yours slowly down to your chest, kissing along your skin until he met your breast. kissing one of your breasts, taking the other into his hand. taking your nipple into his mouth, he gently sucked on it before soothing the ache with his tongue. he pulled your body close to his, his thigh rubbing against your cunt below the skirt of your dress. glancing up at you, watching as your head tilted back, a soft moan leaving your lips. he pinched your other nipple with his free hand before switching spots until he was satisfied with the moans pouring from your lips.
he kissed down your stomach, gently biting at your soft skin, eliciting soft whimpers from you. “z-zoro…” your voice was weak but he looked up, his eyes meeting yours.
“what’s wrong?” he says, his chin resting on your stomach.
“can you pull my dress up from my hips, not down? i don’t want it to get messed up.” he noticed your cheeks were pink, he thought you were just so cute.
“yes maam..” he smiled. “is it okay if i take it all the way off?” he watched as you nod, pushing you up onto the table just a little more with his thigh, causing a moan to leave your lips. a smirk flashing across his face before he finds the hem of your dress, pulling it up. you sat up just a little in order for him to pull it over your arms. “good girl.” he smiles as he neglects the dress to the floor.
He looked down at you as if you were his prey and he were about to tear you apart, being deprived for so many years of good pussy. he not only needed to fuck someone, but from the second he saw you, he yearned for it to be you. your panties were lacy and cute, making him want to cherish them longer. he observed the damp spot near your core, bringing his hands down to your thighs, pressing his thumb against your covered pussy, unwarranted causing you to buck your hips up into his hand with a choked moan.
“sorry, maybe got a bit excited” he pulled his hand away, causing you to whine even more but this time in frustration.
“its okay. just please touch me, do what you want with me… please” his eyes met yours, watching as you pleaded for him.
“you don’t need to beg, baby.” he smiled, leaning over you to kiss you again, his thumb finding your clit above the fabric of your panties. “you just need to say the word and i’ll give you whatever you want..” his tongue pressed against your lips, urging for entry to your mouth as he teased your cunt. he pushed your panties aside, rubbing his fingers through your folds, searching your body to know what makes you tick. finding your clit with his mouth against yours he captures your moans. you could feel your pussy throbbing for him, soothed by the feeling of his thumb rubbing your clit at a pleasant pace. his fingers found your hole, teasing entry before slowly pushing one of his fingers in. he pulled his lips away so he could hear the sweetness of your voice, looking down at you as you unfolded on his fingers.
slowly he began to push his fingers into you, over time growing more anxious and pushing in a second. your back arched off the table, feeling as he scissored his fingers inside of you, his thumb rubbing greedily over your clit. he watched as you got closer, listening to how his name fell off of your lips.
“zoro… fuck i’m so close..” you whined, your hands reaching up to find his free arm. you gripped his bicep before he found your hand with his, holding it gently, squeezing it as you came close to your orgasm.
“come on baby, cum on my fingers.. that’s right” he soothes you with his voice, bringing you over the edge, your vision going blurry as he fucks his fingers into you through your orgasm, slowing down as your moans quiet. “good girl” his voice was low as he pulls your fingers out, bringing them to his lips, licking them clean before leaning over you to kiss you again, tasting yourself on his tongue. “you taste so good” he mumbled, feeling his cock throb in his pants.
zoro stood up straight again, standing over you, as he pulled his shirt off, discarding it like the dress he pulled off of you. he looked down at your messy panties, he found his fingers in the band of them, pulling them off of your wet cunt. you were watching him as he did work on you, watching the curves of his scar and how they dipped into the crevices of his abdomen, wanting to lick up the entirety of his stomach to his chest just to feel that scar.
“your pussy is so wet” he mumbled as he stared down at it, his thumb pulling your lips apart, watching as it throbs for him. “i’m gonna eat you out” he says blankly before getting on his knees, not even giving you much of an option before his nose is pressed against your clit, causing your head to fall back against the table, feeling his greedy tongue between your lips. your hand flew to your mouth as he wrapped his lips around your swollen clit, his tongue pressed flat against it before lapping at it like a thirsty dog.
his name fell from your lips, your voice growing louder as the hand over your mouth muffled the noise. zoro pulled away “don’t do that” he said looking up at you, he brought his arm up in an attempt to grab your elbow. “i wanna hear you.” with his hand reaching out, you put your hand in his. he guided your hand to his hair, encouraging you to pull his hair rather than covering your sweet moans. “good girl”
he pressed his face back up against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm, you were struggling to keep your hips against the table while he licked at your clit, his fingers teasing your hole. your fingers tightened in his mint green hair causing him to moan against your pussy, the vibrations sending you into a frenzy. all he did was give and give.
zoro moved back down to your hole, his tongue teasing you before pushing in, tasting you entirely. his hand pressed against your abdomen, his thumb placed perfectly on your clit, rubbing gentle circles into it, baring down when he wanted you to pull his hair again. he wanted to chant his praises, calling you his good girl and telling you what a perfect princess you were but he was drunk off the taste of your pussy, fucking his tongue into your dripping cunt.
you were chasing another orgasm, he could feel it in the way you tensed up, as your moans grew louder and your grip on his hair turned harder. “oh my god.. zoro. fuck zoro i’m gonna…” your words trailed off, struggling to form a decent sentence while he fucked his tongue into you. he looked up to you the best he could, watching as you unfolded against his tongue, shaking as you came again. loud curses leaving your lips while your juices flooded his tongue. he continued to eat you out, throwing you over the edge, continuing while your thighs pressed against his head, urging him to stop overstimulating you. tears formed in your eyes until he stopped. pressing a soft kiss against your clit and pulling your legs off of his head, he stood up again, leaning over you to kiss you once more.
“was that good?” he asked, finding your hand and intertwining your fingers.
“yeah it was so good” you sighed, with a love drunk smile, staring up at him. you could feel his hard on as he leaned against your leg.
“come here, we’re gonna go back over to the couch. i’m sure you’re tired of this hard ass table.” he pulled you by the arm and you sat up, his hand finding the dip of your ass, pulling you into his arms, carrying you over to the couch to flop you right down on it. he was still wearing his darned pants but being right down in front of his crotch, you could see that he was almost painfully hard.. and painfully big in his pants.
you sat up, your hand finding his hardon, rubbing him through his pants causing a short moan to leave his lips, almost like it was unexpected. “whatcha doing there princess?” he asks, watching as you palmed at his hardon, your eyes meeting his.
“not much..” you smiled up at him almost innocently. he threw his head back, another groan leaving him. you watched as his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. your thighs rubbed together as you stirred the pleasure that brewed in his lower abdomen. “can you please take your pants off for me..” you asked, watching as he looked down at you, he was almost a little speechless as he nodded. you had been so submissive that he enjoyed you taking the reigns even if it was just for a second. he loved being of service, but it’s nice to have your dick sucked once in a while.
as he pulled off his pants, his boxers came with it, standing in front of you. his cheeks were red watching as you were stunned. it was tan with a curve to it, thick with perfect veins along the side.. god why were you observing his cock like it was a masterpiece in a museum?? you noticed how his minty green hair trailed from his belly to the base of his cock. “damn” you mumbled before your hand found the tip of his cock, gently rubbing the head before your thumb presses against the very tip, causing him let out an almost guttural groan. “fuck princess..” he grumbled while you rubbed his pre cum around the tip, and down the base with your soft fingers. your lips were suddenly against the tip, kissing it before your tongue teased him, leaving him almost helpless while he stood in front of you. you kitten licked the tip before taking it into your mouth, not going very far but just enough to elicit those sweet moans from his lips.
you pulled off of his cock with a slight pop, before you had gone down and licked the entire bottom side of his cock, from the base to the tip, causing him to shake a little before you spit in your hand, allowing it to slide down his cock perfectly while you took the tip back between your soft lips. he couldn’t handle all the teasing tho, he was becoming just a little sexually frustrated as you tore him apart with your ministrations. “god.. please stop teasing baby..” he spoke between those deep groans and moans that were music to your ears. your pussy was drenched again by this point while you took him deeper into your mouth, allowing your hand to handle what you couldn’t.
his moans fell from his lips, loud and uneven, while his hand found your hair, intertwining his fingers with your soft locks. “yes baby..” he whined as he tugged at your hair, causing you to moan around his cock. “fuck i can’t take this anymore.” he whines, using his hand to push your head further down on his cock. you didn’t protest, you just put your free hand against his bare hip, using it as a method to telling him to stop when it became too much.
while it was nice to be a tease, being fucked by him is just ten times better. he began to fuck his cock into your mouth, pushing into your throat, being obnoxiously intrusive. you moaned loudly around his cock while he pulled your hair into his fist. your other hand found his hip as well, holding onto him while he let go, his moans pouring from his mouth. “fuck baby fuck fuck fuck..” he cursed, knowing he’d cum soon.
“tell me baby.. on your chest or in your mouth..” he said as he pulled you off his cock, allowing you to briefly catch your breath, tears in your eyes. through heavy pants you struggle to speak clearly
“mouth” you look up at him, all fucked out, and he feels his dick twitch seeing you like this. you watch as it jolts up a little, feeling your mouth water for the want of his cock again. he used his hand to pull your lips apart, pressing his thumb against your tongue before pushing his cock back into your mouth, his hand intertwining with your hair again. he lets out a moan as his cock fills your mouth, slowly thrusting into your face until he loses himself, fucking your throat, chanting your name until your nose is pushed up again the base of his cock, his cum pouring down your throat. your name falls from his lips, loud and proud as he pumps his cum into you, slowly letting you go, easing himself out of you so you could breathe again.
“i’m sorry..” he pants, looking down at you, he holds your chin, wiping away the spit that rolled down the sides of your mouth. “god you’re so cute” he watches as your lips curl up into a smile, enjoying the praise. he wipes your tears away and finally gets down to your level, kissing you again. it was soft and kind, gentle even. something so brash against the brutal throat fucking that had just happened.
“you think you can take anymore?” he asked, looking down at your body, a sheen of sweat coating both of you . he watched as the gentle light of the room shone off of you, your hair a mess, tangled in your jewelry that decorated your body.
“yeah i think so” you smile, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him in for another kiss.
“good…” he smiles against your lips, putting his palms against your back, slowly laying you back down on the couch. “i need to fuck this pussy so bad” he whines, kissing down your neck, his hands feeling up your breasts to your legs. he finds his way back to your chest, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on them , tweaking the other with his free hand. you were getting deja vu from earlier but this time he was even more confident with his ministrations. your sensitivity causing you to moan even louder until he switched spots. he sucked on your nipples until he was satisfied, knowing you were wet and throbbing down below once again. his fingers finding your swollen clit, rubbing it as he pulled away from your chest, feeling his cock throbbing between his thick thighs. pre cum drips from his tip as he stares at his thumb rubbing over your pussy, he feels like he’s almost drooling. he notices you getting antsy, shaking against his hand, whining in desperation.
“zoro…” you whine his name, pushing your head back.
“what baby? what do you want. tell me, please” he says, stroking his cock with his free hand.
“fuck me zoro, please?” your remember what he says, not begging but rather asking kindly for him to fuck you.
“that’s a good girl..” his smile was devilish as he got closer, pushing his cock up against your pussy, pushing his length through your wet folds, teasing you. your moans are desperate as he rolls his hips against your. getting his cock wet, your pussy being enough lube for him to easily stretch you out.
he guided his tip between your folds, pressing against your entrance. taking his lip between his teeth, biting down in an anticipation. your hands curled up into fists as he slowly pushed in, your nails digging into your skin as he slowly pushed his cock into you. the two of you let out a guttural noise as his cock filled your tight wet pussy.
a long exasperated “Fuuuck” left his mouth as his head fell forward, watching as his cock entered you. he grabbed your leg, pushing it up onto his shoulder, wrapping your other leg around his waste. he had his knee propped up on the couch while his other stood on the ground, holding himself up. a strangled cry left your lips as he stretched you out, finally bottoming out inside of you, taking it slow so you could get used to the feeling of him inside of you.
“fuck it barely fits” he teased, clearly proud of himself and his own size. his hair residing at his base pressed up against your wet pussy. “you ready for me to move?”
you open your eyes, biting down on your lip, you nod. “mhm” you felt so small underneath him. you watched how he held your leg, squeezing your thigh while his other hand held your hip, holding you in place so he could fuck you.
slowly he moved his hips back, watching as his cock pulls out of you, and then he snaps his hips back in just a bit quicker. he’s a noisy guy, his moans are nothing but sweet to your ears but he feels like he could cum just listening to the moans you let fall from your lips, your voice echoing through the tall tower of the library. his name was music to his ears, encouraging him to fuck you even harder, his cock bullying your cervix while his veiny cock brushes over the spot that leaves you seeing stars.
“fuck zoro.. f-feels so good…” your voice is shaky as his thrusts become quicker and messier. with your leg still resting over his shoulder, he leans over you, finding a quicker pace in his thrusts. his balls slapping against your soft skin, creating a loud echo of moans and skin against skin for the books to hear.
“fuck you’re such a good girl.. princesss…” he chants praises to you, his voice deep and doused with pleasure. pet names poured from his lips as he fucked you like a dog in heat. your back was arched up, your chest rubbing up against his as he fucked into you, stretching your leg much further than you thought he would’ve. his mouth found yours again, your tongues fighting with each others while your moans turned into one big mess of noise. your hands found his back, nails digging into his skin, holding onto him like prey: he couldn’t focus on kissing you anymore, he pulled away, your saliva both stringing together, creating a mess as he continued to fuck you like he’d die if he wasn’t in your pussy.
“god damn princess.. fuck i’m gonna cum soon..”
“me too.. mhh zoro.. please cum inside of me..”
“yes baby.. whatever you ask for.” he kisses your cheek before his head falls next to yours, his moans landing right in your ear, yours to his. his thrusts became messy and uncoordinated as the two of you neared your orgasm. he continued to wildly fuck you until your nails bared so hard onto his skin he bled. you almost screamed out his name as your orgasm hit you like white lightning. your cunt, tight around him, left him chomping at the bit as he poured his cum into you. his cock as far into you as he could possibly get it, filling your womb with his hot, sticky cum.
his cock was so far into you, you were seeing stars even after coming down from your high, feeling him still inside of you, hard.
“fuck baby..” he moans into your ears, and when i say this man whines. “i need more..” he began to slowly thrust his cock into you again, leaving your overstimulated cunt throbbing around him.
“mhh zoro… take what you want, you deserve it” your words were music to his ears as he began to messily thrust into you again. he wanted to fuck his thick cum into you, he wanted to watch it pour out of your dumb little cunt.
“good girl..” he groans as he leans back, pulling your other leg underneath his shoulder pushing you into a mating press.
“zoro!” you yelp, a little shocked.
planting both of his arms above your shoulders onto the soft couch. “fuck i’m gonna fill you with this cum” he groans before he’s fucking you again, wildly like an animal who can’t contain itself. fuck he loves your pussy, he loves how wet it is, how tight and warm it is. and how it will only belong to him now. he’s so deep inside of you, fucking his warm cum into your womb. he needs you so bad. sitting up just a little, he slows down and looks down at your clit.
he drops a glob of his spit down on what he considers his property now.
“touch your clit for me, baby. use my spit.” he says as he crushes you again, watching you move your hand to rub that sensitive clit, easily bringing you close to another orgasm. he watches your face unfold, your moans fall from your lips as tears form in your eyes, so overstimulated. “yes princess.. i know you can cum again. milk my cock baby” he groans loudly as his balls slap against the meat of your ass. as his thrusts become sloppy again, he knows he’s about to cum a giant load into your needy pussy.
your moans grow louder, no longer are you forming coherent sentences as he continues to just brutally fuck his cock into you. “i’m gonna.. fuck zoro.. im…” your words are gone as you scream finding that rush of an orgasm you need now badly. as your cunt tightens around his thick cock, he can feel himself lose it as he fucks his hard cock into you just a few more times until he’s crushing you, spilling loads of cum into your hot cunt. your name falling from his lips in a loud groan.
he sat there, feeling comfort in your warm cunt but seeing how badly he had essentially tortured you and your little body.
“fuck…” he spoke gruffly. “are you okay?” he says, sitting up just a bit, watching you wince as his cock moves inside of you.
“y-yes..” you stutter, feeling your head spinning. he moves his hands to your face, gently wiping the spit away from your lips, kissing you. “i’m sorry if i hurt you, i got carried away..” he rubbed your cheek. you shook your head.
“no.. it was amazing. thank you..” a small giggle left you, watching his mood lighten up just a little.
“i’m gonna sit up and let your legs go.” he warned as he sat back up, putting his leg back down behind him for support. he rubbed your thighs as he gently placed your legs back down at his side. he looked down to see the white ring of cum around his cock where he had pulled out just a little. he was scared to pull his cock all the way out, not wanting you to yelp.
“is it okay if i pull out?” he looks down at you, seeing how cute you were being all fucked out and cock drunk.
“mhh.. yeah” you mumble, fatigue quickly falling over you.
that changed when you felt the sensation of him leaving your warm pussy, causing you to jolt up just a little bit, letting out a quick “fuck” as he pulled out. when he pulled out, he spread your legs apart, getting down closer to watch his cum pour out of you, biting his lip in satisfaction as it did so. he then pressed one last kiss to your clit before standing up.
he looked down at you , getting down on his knees so he could be face to face with you.
“just so we’re clear, your pussy belongs to me now…” he said , watching as your lips curled into a smile, reaching up and grabbing his head to pull him into a kiss.
“i know and that’s okay” you smile against his lips, kissing him once more, knowing you had a lot more long nights ahead of you while living with him
#roronoa zoro#zoro roronoa x reader#zoro roronoa smut#zoro roronoa x you#one piece zoro#one piece imagine#one piece#roronoa zoro imagine#mavnagerie’s fic#one piece x reader#sanji is briefly mentioned#i’m scared this will flop so bad#the ending of this is messy#sorry#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut
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Hellbent - Chris Sturniolo
summary : y/n and chris, so incredibly in love with one another, yet ruined by self sabotage.
warnings : angst, swearing, fluff, smutty, heartbreak, self-harm (if you squint)
a/n : this is the one :)) regular italics are flashbacks.
—
so who do i call now? i'd give it all now, just to be fighting in the kitchen and hearing the crash of broken dishes. thought it was bad then, this heartache is hellbent.
“Why are you pushing me away?!” She shouts, tears brimming in her eyes as the ache in her chest grows.
The two of them were everything and nothing at the same time. So head over heels for each other, but almost doomed from the start. Chris; scared to take things to the next step. Y/N; wanting nothing more than to take it further.
They were both in love with each other, but Chris couldn’t voice his concerns, instead, opted for trying to make her hate him. It was unconventional, yet it made the most sense to him. He loved her with every fiber of his being, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. However, the thought of furthering their relationship, making it real, scared him to death. There were so many factors in which caused him to pull back. Though, things would have been better off if he had just explained his worries, he chose to make things harder than they needed to be.
Y/N loved Chris more than any and everything in her life. She loved everything about him, and she wanted to be with him, more than what she had. She didn’t just want sex and casual conversation, she wanted love and passion. She could feel it between them, the most amazing love and deepest passion, but there was still a barrier between them. It was easy for her to read Chris, well usually, but their recent encounters had thrown her for a loop. She could feel the love from him, yet the unexplainable distance he put between them and the impenetrable walls he put up only made her head spin.
“Chris.” She half sobs, after receiving no answer from him.
He can’t bring himself to look at her. He knows the sight of her torn apart will break his heart, especially because he’s the cause of their wreckage.
“Look at me.” She begs, “Please, Chris.”
He deeply inhales, his eyes frantically darting around, unable to lift his head. His heart feels heavy. He knows he has no right to be sad, considering this is all his fault, but he can’t help but feel melancholy.
The sound of loud sobs spring through the air, and the sight of Y/N falling to her knees in his peripheral causes his head to snap over in her direction. There she sat, her body shaking with every weep that left her mouth. Her rosy cheeks glisten with a tremendous amount of tears, and her lips pull into the deepest frown he’s ever seen on her. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes clenched shut.
Chris can feel the lump forming in his throat as he takes in her appearance, utterly heartbroken. Knowing he’s the reason she’s so distraught brings tears to his eyes. Hurting her is the last thing he ever wanted to do. His mind is racing; he’s unsure of what to do. He wants to take her in his arms and hold her close, profusely apologizing and taking it all back. Yet, part of him feels it’ll only make it worse. Without another thought, he joins her on the floor, his arms wrapping around her as he tries to console her.
Her cries only worsen as she fights to push him away, “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, repeatedly, like a mantra.
Her reluctance to accept his embrace continues, only for him to try harder. Tears inevitably slip from his eyes, he hates the predicament he put them in. He can feel her struggling die down as the energy diminishes from her body. Her body still shakes with sobs, but she can no longer put up a fight against him. There they sat, her body slump against his as his arms wrap around her.
“I am so sorry, Y/N.” He mutters, his voice croaking.
A few moments go by before she responds, “I just don’t understand. Things were going so well between us, and you can’t say that you don’t feel something deep for me. I know you, Chris. We’ve spent almost every day together for the last year, I know you inside and out. But what I don’t know, is why the sudden change? Why are you pulling back?”
Again, he doesn’t answer, which only infuriates Y/N. She harshly pulls herself from his hold, turning around to face him. His face is ridden with sorrow as he looks at her with sad eyes.
“You’re giving me absolutely nothing! You’re leaving me in the dark about it, I do not deserve that. I’ve been nothing but good to you despite how you’ve been the last couple of weeks. The least you can do is tell me what changed.”
He sighs, struggling to find the right words to say. He can’t bring himself to tell her the truth, and he knows whatever he says won’t matter. She’s going to be hurt regardless. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, letting his head fall back.
“I don’t feel anything for you.” He lies through his teeth.
“Bullshit.” She snaps.
Even though she knows he’s lying, his words still hurt. She doesn’t understand why he can’t just be straightforward with her. He’s never lied to her before, why now?
“I don’t feel anything for you.” He repeats, his eyes now staring into hers, looking void of emotion.
Her heart feels like it’s shattering all over again. She’s never had to deal with this type of hurt before. She’s never felt the way she feels for him for anyone else. Despite never being in a relationship before, she knows she’s in love with him.
“Get out.”
“What?” He asks, unsure if he misheard her.
“Get out.” She repeats through gritted teeth. “Get out! Go! You don’t feel anything for me? You want to push me away? You want to call it quits? You want to leave? Then leave! Just leave, Christopher.”
He doesn’t want any of that, it’s the last thing he wants. And knowing that once he walks out the door, she’s going to spiral, makes him want to stay even more. But the whole point in him pulling back is to make her hate him, because he knows he won’t be able to leave her. He needs her to leave him.
Without a word, he gets up from the ground and makes his exit. She watches him leave, the door shutting behind him. She hopes and hopes that he’ll turn back around and apologize for everything. She hopes he’ll finally admit to her that he loves her and that he wants to be with her, but she knows it’s won’t happen. It’s done. It’s over. They’re over.
-
It’s been a week since Y/N and Chris have spoken. A week since he left. The hole in her chest only grows bigger with every passing second. She misses him so deeply. Part of her just wishes she could just go back to their last moment together. It was hard and it hurt, but she’d rather have that than nothing at all.
Going from seeing each other all the time to not having any type of communication was more difficult than she anticipated. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but God, did her heart hurt.
Chris was in the same boat; distraught from the loss of her. He was stuck grieving their relationship and the guilt he felt was tremendous. He knew that the downfall of them was his fault, he accepted responsibility. There was nothing more that he wanted, than to go to her house and apologize, and tell her how he really feels about her. He loves her more than anything. He’s not sure he could ever not love her. Everything about her just calls out to him, he finds perfection in the simplest attributes of her being.
Leaving her behind caused him physical pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to give in. He was scared of fully committing, taking the next step with her and making it real. Although, it felt real, there was just something about giving all of himself to her that struck him with fear. Maybe it was the fact that he knew how his fans would react. They would chew into Y/N like they were starved animals and the only thing to satisfy their hunger was to eat her alive. He didn’t want to put any kind of negativity on her.
So, there both of them lay, alone in bed. Eyes glued to the ceiling, cheeks stained with tears, lumps in their throats, anxiety brewing in their stomachs, and heavy chests. Two different homes, yet exactly the same all at once. Eerie silence, so loud they can feel the echo of their painful heartbeats in their ears. The more they think back on all of their time together, and what came of them, the more frequent and louder their sobs got.
-
Chris and Y/N both lay on the couch, their legs entangled together while she rests atop of him. Their fingers are intertwined as she has her face buried in the crook of his neck. Every so often, she would deeply inhale the scent of him, feeling intoxicated by the way he smells. She can never get enough of it.
"Are you smelling me?" Chris asks with a chuckle, his chest subtly shaking with the vibrations from his laugh.
Y/N playfully rolls her eyes, moving to look up at him. "Yes, what about it?"
"Nothing." He smirks, shaking his head. "You're just odd."
"Hey!" She gasps, defensively. "You smell good. Is it a crime to enjoy it?"
He laughs once more, "A crime? No, but it's definitely odd."
"Shut up. Don't think I haven't caught you doing the same thing to me. You're not slick, Christopher."
His cheeks darken with a rosy color, warming up in slight embarrassment for being caught without him realizing it.
"You've seen me smelling you?" He asks, his voice timid.
"Please. You practically breathe me in." She teases, enjoying the state of him being flustered.
"How come you never said anything?!" Chris questions, his jaw dropped.
She shrugs, resting her head on his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. "It was never that deep. We like the way each other smell, so what?"
He doesn't reply, instead, flips the two over, so that he's now on top of her. She looks up at him with wide eyes before he smashes his lips against hers, taking her in a deep kiss. Their lips move together as if it's the easiest thing they'd ever done. In reality, it probably is.
One of his hands softly grips her jaw, the other resting on the bare skin of her waist. Her hands cup his face, deepening the kiss, until he pulls away. His lips trail down her cheeks, meeting her neck with soft kisses. His nose grazes her skin, brushing over it as he takes a deep breath through it. Her sweet scent fills his nostrils, rushing him with dopamine.
"You're such a weirdo!" She laughs, pushing his face away from her.
"Hey! You said it's not that deep!" He defends.
She giggles, shaking her head, "Come here, you dork."
Her fingers softly grasp his dangling chain, pulling him into her for another loving kiss that the two of them both melt into.
-
Y/N's pillow was drenched with her tears. With every happy memory surfacing, came a thousand more tears. She was incredibly distraught. She didn't know what to do, she felt so lost. Never in a million years did she think she would lose Chris. It never even crossed her mind.
Her house was dark and quiet, the only sounds being her cries. Her fingers gripped the roots of her hair, tugging in frustration. The burning sensation couldn’t compare to the aching in her chest. Maybe on the outside, people would assume she's being dramatic and should get over herself, as well as the boy she's so bent over. But on the inside, she truly felt so utterly heartbroken. She hadn't spoken a word aloud since she told Chris to leave. It's been seven whole days since she uttered a single word.
She had no one in her life aside from Chris, his brothers, and their friends. No one has reached out to her, but she couldn't blame them because she hadn't tried reaching out to anyone either. She simply turned her phone off, attempting to shield herself from the world.
She didn't know how to cope with the loss she was feeling. She knew it wasn't good to stay in bed and shelter herself from any and everything, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. All she wanted was Chris. She wanted to rewind time to go back and have him again. Unfortunately, she'd rather have their messy situation than have nothing of him at all.
Tear-stained papers were scattered throughout her sheets, handwritten notes from Chris. She reread everything he's ever wrote to her over and over again, wishing for him to say the words out loud to her. She could tell from his letters alone; he did love her. She could tell from his actions and how the way he treated her, he did love her.
So, why on earth could he not just voice it?
Why, instead of telling her he loves her, would he push her away and make her feel like none of it mattered to him to lose?
-
“Chris!” Y/N’s yells, her laughter filling the atmosphere as she runs from said boy.
The two have giant smiles on their faces, joyous sounds emitting from both of their mouths as they run around the house. A can of silly string rests in his hand, determined to empty it on her.
“I swear it’s all gone, look!” Chris fronts, attempting to sway her just to cover her in it again.
“You’re lying!” She laughs, running around the counter.
Chris catches her on the opposite side, causing her to shriek in fear. His free hand wraps around her waist, holding her close while his other hand sprays the silly string all over her. At that point, she accepts defeat and pouts at him.
“Chris.” She whines, feeling the substance coating her head. “My hair!”
The grin never leaves his face as he pulls her flush against him, one hand on the small of her back, the other hand softly grasping her chin. His eyes stare down at her in adoration, love swelling in his heart as he takes her in.
“I’ll wash it for you.” He offers, closing the gap between them.
Their lips meet, soft and tender together. She melts into the kiss, savoring the way they mold together so perfectly. Her hands trail from his biceps to around his neck, her fingers, instinctively, playing with the loose strands of hair at the nape of his neck.
Y/N pulls away, only to be met with a frown on Chris’ lips. She breathily laughs, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the direction of the bathroom.
“What are we doing?” Chris asks, following in suit.
“We aren’t doing anything. YOU, are washing my hair like you oh so kindly offered.” She grins, locking the door behind them.
He chuckles in response, immediately accepting with no hesitation. He turns the faucet on, adjusting the temperature just how he knows she likes it. While they wait for the water to heat up, he grasps the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head, tossing it in the hamper.
The innocent look in her eyes as she stares up at him with love ridden on her face makes him feel like putty. He can’t help but capture her lips in a sweet kiss once more.
They continue to undress, discarding their dirty clothes with the rest of them. Chris helps her into the shower, joining her seconds after. He held her close, the hot water drenching both of them equally as they stood in each other’s embrace.
“I love this.” He mutters into her hair, his hands gently caressing her body.
“You love what?” She asks, looking up at him.
His beautiful blue eyes fill with admiration as he gazes back at her. His wet hair slick against his forehead and his lips a soft pink. He smiles at her, brushing the soaking hair out of her face. His touch against her incredibly tender and sweet, full of love and passion.
"Being here, like this, with you." He whispers, his voice soft and delicate, almost as if he is worried of scaring her away.
Y/N's lips pull into a rather large smile, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. His statement was so simple, yet it has her weak in the knees. She doesn't say a word, only clasps her hands around his neck and pulls his face into hers. Their lips meet in a longing kiss, both of them savoring the deep connection between the two. Chris' hands wrap tightly around her waist, tugging her against him, desperate to feel all of her.
After a moment, they pull away, breathless. She smiles up at him and lays her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears. His cheek meets her hair, enjoying the feeling of her embrace. His hands run through her hair, massaging her scalp as he does so.
Suddenly, she pulls back and looks him in the eyes, "I love you."
He smiles, "I love you too."
She shakes her head, biting her inner cheek. "No, Chris. I love you. I'm in love with you."
He feels as though time stops, everything frozen around them. The running water muffles, and all he can hear is the sound of his erratic heartbeat. His eyes are wide as he stares down at her, his voice caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this. Though, looking back, he should've realized it would be happening soon.
Her lips started falling, curving into a frown, before quickly pulling them back up in a tight-lipped smile. "It's okay."
He opens his mouth so say something, yet nothing comes out. She softly shakes her head, her fake smile growing in an attempt to reassure him, even though her heart is slowly breaking at the thought of him not loving her back. Not loving her the way she wants to be loved, the way she loves him.
"You don't have to say anything."
And so, he doesn't. He clears his throat, proceeding to wash her hair like he intended. The silence between them is loud, awkwardness filling the air. Y/N can't help but feel regret for saying those words. Although, they were nothing but true, she now feels as though she messed things up.
-
That was the beginning of their destruction. Everything changed the moment Y/N said those five little words. Chris pulled back and put his guard up. Y/N was so lost and confused, unknowing of why things changed. Using her head, she knew it was because she admitted her feelings, but her heart ached every time she attempted to understand why it changed. It was obvious to everyone that knew the two, Chris was undoubtedly in love with her. Why wouldn't he just say that?
The next couple of weeks after Y/N's confession were looming with uncertainty and inevitable ruination. Chris was snappy and seemingly far away, trying to put as much distance into them as possible. He could see what it was doing to her, and it made his chest tighten in agony. She wasn't the same happy girl she usually was. At times she would try to hide it, but he could read her through and through. She was sad.
No matter how many times Y/N tried to address the elephant in the room, Chris would always be extremely dismissive and standoffish. She could barely even get two sentences out before he was either interrupting her, or simply walking away. The pain she felt was excruciating. Every time he just left her there, she felt like he was taking her lungs with him, because she suddenly found it hard to breathe.
Chris was her person. Without him, she had no one to turn to. She couldn't reach out to anyone for advice, simply because there was no one else. She was stuck enduring the heartache he was causing, unaware of the fact that he was going through the same feeling. He didn't want to be cold towards her, he didn't want to leave her drowning in a pool of unwanted emotions, but it's what he felt he had to do.
Ever since their last communication, the skies were dark. It was as if the universe was following in suit of the two of them. The world seemed gloomy around them. Either that, or their overwhelming negative emotions clouded everything good in the world.
"Chris, bro, you have got to leave your room!" Matt's voice was heard from the other side of the locked door.
Chris doesn't respond, only continues to look off into the distance, reminiscing about the girl he loved and hurt all at the same time. His bedroom door shakes with the pounding from his brothers, both of them desperate to reach him. Suddenly, the furious knocks stop, leaving just a moment of silence before the lock clicks and the door flies open.
Chris turns his head, his dead eyes meeting Nick and Matt. The two of them look back at Chris, their faces morphing into sadness and confusion. They have no idea what's causing Chris to be so detrimental to his own health.
"What's going on, Chris?" Nick asks, "You have to talk to us. We're your brothers."
Chris can't even find the words to respond. Just by his features, Nick and Matt can see that he's absolutely devastated. However, they have no idea why. When he doesn't answer, Matt walks forward and sits beside him on the bed, engulfing him in a comforting hug. That seems to have an effect, because Chris bursts into tears, his entire body shaking as he silently cries. Nick gasps and rushes over to the other side of Chris, joining in on the embrace, desperate to help soothe the pain of his brother.
"Shh." Nick coos, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."
Chris violently trembles, as his sobs grow louder, "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad."
"Chris, tell us what happened. We can help you fix it." Matt says.
He shakes his head, "It's too late."
Nick and Matt share looks of concern, completely bewildered by the state of their brother. He had never ever been like this before, and quite frankly, they were unsure how to handle it. They just continue to console him to the best of their ability.
“Is this about Y/N?” Nick asks, sharing another look with Matt.
“We’ve noticed she hasn’t been around this last week.” Matt adds.
Chris doesn’t say anything, so Nick continues, “Did something happen between you two? It’s not like you guys to go so long without speaking to each other.”
Chris’ cries only seem to get louder, indicating the two of them made correct assumptions. Matt rubs Chris’ back in another effort to comfort him.
“Chris, if you want to talk about it, you know we’re always here for you. No judgement, no criticism. Just here to listen, and if you want advice.” Matt softly states.
Slowly, but surely, Chris’ finally gets himself together enough to stop sobbing, however, the tears remain a steady flow. He lifts his head up, looking back and forth between his brothers with a frown on his lips.
“I told her I didn’t feel anything for her.” Chris finally admits.
“Why would you lie?” Nick questions, receiving an elbow from Matt, pulling a groan from his mouth.
“Go on.” Matt insists.
Chris sighs, tossing his head back in frustration with himself. “She told me she was in love with me the other day. I didn’t say it back.”
Nick and Matt look at one another, realization dawning upon them.
“I don’t know why, I just couldn’t say it. The words wouldn’t come out.” Chris adds.
“But you do feel the same, right?” Nick asks.
Chris nods, “I love her more than anything. I’m so in love with her, it hurts. But I’m such a fucking idiot. I pushed her away, I made her hate me.”
He lets out another sob, Matt quickly jumping in, “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. It’s Y/N, she could never hate you.”
“You weren’t there.” Chris shakes his head, several tears falling from his eyes. “I looked her in her face and told her I don’t feel anything for her. I watched her fall apart. I could see it in her face, what my words did to her. I’ve never seen her so sad before. She told me to leave, and we haven’t spoken since.”
“Oh, Chris.” Nick sighs. “You’ve gotta fix this.”
“Dude!” Matt counters, nudging him again.
“No!” Nick cuts, “I know we said we’d listen, but come on. Chris it’s so obvious you love her. Look at the way you’ve been distraught over this! You haven’t left your room in a week. We’ve had to use old unposted videos just to give our fans content because you’ve been sulking. I get you’re upset, I understand that. What’s stopping you from telling her the truth?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do know, you’re just lying to yourself.” Nick snaps. “Accept it, Chris. Just say the words out loud.”
“I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?” Matt encourages.
“I’m scared of fully committing. I’m scared of giving her all of me and not being good enough!” Chris shouts, feeling exasperated.
Nick sighs, “Kid, look back on all these years. She’s been head over heels for you for as long as I can remember.”
“Plus,” Matt starts, holding a finger up. “You’re still committing to not being with her. So, therefore, it’s not commitment you’re afraid of.”
Chris shakes his head, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “It’s not just that. What if after everything, she doesn’t love me like she thinks? And our fans would go insane.”
“Fuck our fans!” Nick exclaims, receiving a pointed look from Matt. “Okay, that sounded harsh. But seriously, if our fans can’t be happy that you found someone that makes you happy, then they’re not real fans.”
“I don’t want them to hurt her.”
“Like you’re doing right now?” Matt points out.
Chris frowns, knowing Matt is absolutely right. He is hurting Y/N, and that alone, makes his stomach drop.
-
Y/N’s phone had been going straight to voicemail, and none of Chris’ texts were delivering. He assumed she blocked him until he tried having Matt and Nick call her, but to no avail, neither of them got through. So, either she blocked all of them, or her phone was off.
Regardless, Chris was ridden with panic. He worried immensely about her. He knew she was hurting, and he was scared of her doing something stupid. Which brought Chris to where he is now; standing outside of her door.
He’s been on her doorstep for about five minutes, contemplating what to do and what to say. Part of him wants to turn around and forget about him, but he can’t bring himself to do so. He needs to talk to her. So, his hand reaches forward and, before he can talk himself out of it, he knocks several times. So much, in fact, that he yanks his hand back and curses at himself for being so stupid.
It feels like forever has gone by, like he’s been standing there for eternity, until the door opens and snaps him back to reality. His head lifts up and he’s met with Y/N. Her eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red and puffy, and she looks incredibly miserable. Chris still finds her beautiful.
Her eyes widen in surprise before they’re replaced with anger as she frowns at him, “Can I help you?”
The way she talks to him like he’s a stranger makes his stomach twist and he’s suddenly ten times more nervous than before.
“Y/N.” He sighs, unable to form another other words.
“Christopher.”
He takes a deep breath, washing his anxiety away in order to speak to her. “You were right. You were right about everything. I was a complete asshole. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, the way I pushed you away. I lied. I do feel things for you. I feel so much for you that it terrifies the fuck out of me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So, when you admitted your feelings for me, I panicked. I was scared, I’m still scared! I don’t know how to be in a relationship, I’m worried I won’t be good enough for you. I’m scared you’ll realize that you don’t actually love me the way you think you do. I’m scared I’ll ruin everything good between us, if I haven’t already. You’re so fucking amazing, I can’t even wrap my head around how you want anything to do with me. I do love you, I’m so fucking in love with you that it hurts. I’m so incredibly sorry for the pain I caused you, it breaks my heart that you had to endure that because of me. Because I’m an idiot. I’m sick for even jeopardizing us because I was an idiot and couldn’t use my words like a big boy. I do love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you, to have a family and grow old with you. I want to go to every single doctor appointment for our children. I want to have cute gender reveals and baby showers. I want us to have a cute little house with the white picket fence. I want us to have a cute little garden and a play-set for our kids, and a little doggy house. I want to go to sleep with you every night, and wake up with you by my side every single morning. I, so badly, wish I could take back the last few weeks, but I know it’s not possible. But please, if there’s any part of you that still wants me, I want nothing more than to be yours.”
By the time he’s finished speaking, he’s breathless. The two of them had tears running down their cheeks, never breaking eye contact for even a moment. Chris feels so much relief for finally getting that off his chest, he just wishes he had done it sooner rather than later.
“Do you want to come inside?” Her voice speaks up, softer than before.
“Please.” He nods, letting out a breath of nervousness.
She opens the door wider, allowing room for him to enter. He does so, turning to her once she shuts the door. The two stare at each other, no words spoken, causing Chris’ anxiety to spike.
“Will you say something?” He asks, “Please.”
Instead of speaking, she steps forward, yanking him into her. Her arms wrap around his neck, his arms going around her waist. She buries her head in the crook of his neck, and he places his head on hers. Both of them sigh in contentment, finally back in each other’s embrace. Their hearts swell with love as relief floods their bodies.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” He repeats.
“Shh, come on.” She says, reluctantly pulling away and beckoning him to her room.
He follows her in, watching as she gets on her bed. He stands there, almost unsure whether to join her, until she pats the space beside her. He wastes no time in lying right next to her, their bodies molding together once again. Her head on his chest, his arm around her, keeping her in place as their legs entangle and fingers interlock.
“I missed you so fucking much.” He whispers, pulling her impossibly closer in fear that she’d disappear.
She squeezes her eyes shut, gripping onto him tighter, like when she opens her eyes, she’ll find herself alone and realize all of this was a dream.
“Please never do that again.” She croaks, swallowing the lump in her throat.
He instantly lifts her head up, coming face to face with her as they lock eyes. “Never again. I promise. I’m never leaving you again. I want this, I want you. I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that, but I promise this is what I want. You’re what I want, what I need. I’m here to stay.”
It’s like his words flipped a switch because she could suddenly see right through him again. He’s being sincere.
Her hand slowly makes its way to his cheek, rubbing the soft skin with her thumb, before pulling him into her and pressing her lips against his. It feels like heaven. This is what both of them have been longing for, being together in the way they are meant to be.
Their mouths move in sync, the kiss deepening with each passing second. Y/N hooks her leg over him, sliding herself on his lips, to straddle him. Chris’ hands, instinctively, meet her hips, holding her in place.
He suddenly pulls away, “Wait, I don’t want you to think I just came over here to get my dick wet. I-”
“Please shut up.” She breathes, melting into his lips once more.
Their kiss becomes feverish and desperate, as if trying to make up for lost time. Chris’ hands move downwards to her ass, tightly gripping it as she grinds her hips against his. Almost instantly, she can feel his bulge against her core. Her lips part from his and continue trailing down his neck, leaving open mouth kisses, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. His breathing picks up, now heavy in her ear.
With one quick motion, he flips her, leaving him hovering over her. His lips meet hers again, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths like it’s the first time ever doing so. His hand softly grasps her neck, his hips rutting against hers, eliciting a soft moan from her.
“God, I’ve missed that sound.” He mumbles against her lips.
Her hands reach the bottom of his shirt, tugging it upwards and placing her hands on his chest as he fully removes it. Her fingers roam his torso, goosebumps arising on his skin beneath her touch. His lips work on her neck, kissing down towards her exposed collarbone. He pulls the loose strap of her tank top down, exposing more skin, his lips following in suit. Soft, breathy moans fell from her mouth, enjoying every sensation he’s giving her.
Chris grabs the hem of her tank top and swiftly pulls it over her head, leaving her topless. His hands caress her bare skin as hers tangle in his hair. He lowers his mouth, peppering wet, open mouthed kisses along every inch of her upper body. His lips trail down the valley of her breasts, both hands cupping each one, giving them a tender squeeze.
“God, you’re so perfect, baby.” Chris groans into her chest, his lips wrapping around her nipple.
Her back arches, pushing her chest more into him, her panties growing more wet with every touch. He takes turns with each nipple, sucking, biting, and pinching them. Airy moans left her mouth, fueling Chris’ desire to hear more of them.
His fingers hook in the waistband of her bottoms, pulling them down and off her feet in one quick motion, tossing them across the room. Y/N’s left bare in front of him, he can’t help but admire the sight of her. Butterflies erupt in her stomach at the loving look in his eyes, her cheeks heating up under his stare.
“So fucking pretty.” He mutters, placing another kiss on her lips.
His hands trail down, groping at every one of her curves, softly massaging the plush skin. They make their way down to her thighs, caressing them with passion. He pulls them apart, her core glistening with her arousal, causing him to lick his lips. She’s completely mouth watering to him.
“Need you so bad.” She moans out, the cool air hitting her right where she needs him most.
He lowers his body in between her legs, softly kissing and nibbling her inner thighs. The moment she bucks her hips up, in need of friction, Chris lurches forward. His tongue glides through her folds with ease, causing her to let out a loud moan. His lips wrap around her sensitive bundle of nerves, gently sucking.
“Fuck.” She moans out, her face contorting in pleasure.
He pulls away, his finger taking his place. It rubs her clit in soft circles, before trailing down, gathering her juices. He leans up towards her mouth, placing his lips on hers, and sinks his finger into her entrance, causing her to moan into the kiss. His finger continues pumping in and out of her for a moment, before he adds another. He speeds up the pace, fucking his fingers into her and curving up just right, feeling that spongy spot he knows she loves.
“Oh my fuck.” She moans, grinding into his hand.
He continues this, his mouth now working on her neck once again, marking her up just how he knows she likes. He knows her inside and out, quite literally. His thumb rubs her clit in circles while his middle and ring finger thrust in and out of her, leaving her a moaning mess. Very quickly, her legs begin shaking and she clenches around him.
“Fuck, baby. Gonna make a mess for me, hm?” He whispers in her ear, sucking on her earlobe, and placing a kiss on it.
Unable to form a sentence, she frantically nods, her hands grasping his arm as he speeds his hand up. She gasps, feeling nothing but euphoric. The knot in her stomach tightens, her eyes squeezing shut.
“Fuck, right there!” She moans out, “Please, don’t stop. Please, please.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He speaks, quickly bringing his mouth back down to her heat, his lips easily wrapping around her clit once again.
Just as his tongue flicks over it, her hips are bucking as her orgasm rushes through her. Her legs tremble as she releases, her juices flying out and drenching the sheets as well as Chris. He moans into her center, his tongue working to taste all of her as his fingers slowly help her ride it out.
“Taste so fucking good.” He moans, pulling his fingers out of her and placing them in his mouth, sucking her fluids off of them.
Her legs continue to twitch as she tries to catch her breath, a goofy smile dancing on her lips as she watches him through heavy eyelids. She pulls him into her again, her lips easily molding with his, the taste of her juices still on his tongue. She can feel his clothed erection pressing into her, causing her to pull away.
Her fingers grasp the drawstring of his sweatpants, slowly pulling them loose. He gets the hint and pulls them down, adding them and his boxers to the pile of clothes discarded on the floor. His hand wraps around the base of his dick, sliding it up and down through her folds, coating it in her arousal. He places himself at her entrance, both of his hands interlocking with hers. Looking into her eyes, he slowly sinks in, loud moans coming from both of them as he bottoms out.
“Mm, missed you so much.” She moans out, her fingers tightening around his.
“I missed you.” He groans, slowly pumping in and out. “God, you feel so good around me, baby.”
As he thrusts into her, her hands guide his to her breasts. His hands engulf them, tightly squeezing them as she claws at his back. His strokes become faster and harder, desperately fucking into her as deep as he’ll go. Her eyes roll into the back of her head as her mouth falls open, broken moans emitting.
He grabs one of her legs, lifting it over his shoulder for better access. The deeper he gets, the louder the moans are, falling from her lips. His free hand comes down, rubbing her clit as he fucks into her at a delicious pace.
“Chris, baby, I’m so close.” She moans with a whine, her fingernails digging into the skin on his back. “You fuck me so good.”
“Let go, mama. Wanna make you feel good.” He groans, his thrusts meeting her just the way they both need.
The tightening in her stomach indicates she’s close to releasing, causing her to tightly clench around his cock. That causes his thrusts to grow sloppy, him feeling his own orgasm sneaking up on him. He recomposes himself, his hips rutting into hers so perfectly, instantly snapping the metaphorical rope inside of her. Lewd moans fall from her mouth as she lets go once again, her juices coating his dick.
“Fuck, so good to me, baby.” He groans, pumping in and out of her before his own release hits him, his hot load painting her walls.
His thrusts slow down before he pulls out altogether, their mixed fluids dripping out of her. Both of their breaths were erratic, their skin flushed mixes of reds and pinks. Chris collapses beside her, their hands immediately connecting as they attempt to regain themselves.
“I love you.” Chris suddenly announces, “I’m gonna remind you every chance I get. I’ll never let you forget it, or doubt it. I love you, I’m so in love with you. I wanna be yours and only yours, forever.”
-
a/n : lolzzz there ya go <3 wasn’t sure if i liked the ending but i got lazy and someoneee wanted a happy ending. it’s not my fic without a lil nasty 🤭 hope you enjoyed it xx
@worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie
#lustfulslxt#joss speaks#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#the sturniolos#imagine#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo smut#angst#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris
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Vegas, do you have any tips of your own when it comes to writing smut? - 🍯
SUREEEEE~ ☆
one big tip to start is that, don’t feel discouraged to write smut just because you don’t have experience irl. i’ve had lots of anons ask me in the past if someone can write smut without actually ever having sex before, and ofc you can! it’s fiction at the end of the day, and it’s supposed to be exaggerated and inaccurate. like tbh sex in fiction is not as amazing as it is irl i’ll say that. HAVE FUNNNN WITH YOUR PORN, BE DRAMATIC AND SILLY. we’re all doing the same thing.
invest in grammarly or some kind of writing correction software. this is really helpful! especially if you don’t have a beta reader, and/or you’re like me and english isn’t your first language. also—use a thesaurus. if you feel like you’re repeating certain words, phrases, i’d recommend wordhippo.com
when writing smut, you have a lot of things to focus on at once. (positions, emotions, tension, dialogue, body language, breath patterns, orgasms, minuscule details such as the bed shaking/creaking, the wind, etc.) it’s important to pace yourself when you’re writing smut. it’s a lot, but a tip i’d give is to take breaks every so often. describe to the very best of your ability, i like to visually imagine the scenes i write as if it’s actually happening so it gives me a better picture for when i write—if that makes sense. for breathing patterns, describe how it sounds, is it quick or slow? irregular breaths, panting like a dog? be descriptive, also make sure to write about both reader and the character(s) emotions
read your dialogue out loud. this helps to make sure it sounds right or if you have a typo. try reading backwards too!
when writing smut, this is also important. avoid writing things such as (her cheeks turned rosy pink, he ran his fingers through her straight strands, her blue/specific colored eyes stared into his) not everyone can relate! i know i can’t, and it’s important to be inclusive in your writing because it’s a difference between a “reader” and a “oc”, unless you say you’ve stated prior that you’re writing specific details.
reading lots of novels def will help strengthen your vocabulary :D in my spare time—i read lots of vintage magazines, novels and books and focus on all the words i see. you never know, you might stumble upon a phrase/word that you like! reading helps a lot, regardless if you’re writing smut or any other genre.
lastly, have fun!!! 🌸 it can be hard writing smut sometimes, especially if you’re new but that’s okay. what’s important is that you’re writing for yourself and you’re having fun doing it <3
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