#rosi is totally the official ship name

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: FOURTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

I’m writing this as I watch the episodes for the second time.

Okay, this episode picks up right where the last one left off—obviously, Rosie, haha! 

If there’s one thing BTS love almost as much as being on stage and their fans, it’s food, haha! 

One of the things I adore about Jimin and Jungkook, or the maknae line in general, is how silly they can be, but in the cutest way possible. 

To Jimin, Jungkook will always be cute, just like Jimin will always be pretty to Jungkook. 

I can totally see why they love Jeju so much—it’s gorgeous. 

Ahhh, Tae saying he loves travelling with Jimin and Jungkook is adorable. 

Honestly, the best places to eat are often in the sketchiest streets or the hardest to find. I feel like that’s almost a universal law, haha! 

Ahhh, who would’ve thought that in 2024—or technically 2023—we’d see Jimin openly talking about his tattoos in official content, haha. Jimin really loves the moon, and so does Jungkook. I’ve said it so many times, but I LOVE Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back. Selfishly, I’d love it if they covered his entire back, but obviously, my opinion doesn’t count, haha! 

Look, people can argue about Jikook, Taekook, Jinkook, etc., being Jungkook’s biggest ships, but no one seems to notice that Jungkook’s biggest ship is with good food. There’s no relationship more obvious and strong than that. That man LOVES to eat and cook. 

It’s the little things that often go unnoticed that I love about Jimin and Jungkook, like how, when they’re together, enjoying something or laughing at something funny, they always look at each other to confirm or make sure the other is feeling the same way, saw the same thing, or just to see their reaction. It’s like they’re looking to reaffirm what they’re already thinking or feeling. I’m not sure exactly how to explain it. For example, when they were eating sushi, Jimin or Jungkook would often turn to look at the other and nod, saying how delicious the food was, or reacting happily to what they were eating. It’s similar to when they’re at a concert, and they look at each other and nod as if to say, “Here we go” or “We’ve got this.” 

Ahhh, something I loved seeing in this episode was Jimin being more active, feeling better, and enjoying the trip. 

When Jungkook is eating, he’s oblivious to almost everything around him. It’s so funny watching him so immersed in his culinary experience while Jimin was massaging Tae’s neck because Tae wasn’t feeling well, haha. I mean, they mentioned his name, and he just didn’t hear it, even though Jimin and Tae were just inches away from him, hahaha! Jimin immediately explaining/justifying why Jungkook didn’t have the same neck issue as Tae is nothing new, haha. 

Jimin definitely has my sense of humour, haha! That’s why he and Yoongi bicker so much! Because they’re so similar. Understanding something literally and responding based on that is definitely my kind of humour, haha! 

Can someone please give Jimin and Jungkook a YouTube channel already? Jungkook would record everything and edit everything, and Jimin would be the frontman. That man is always pretending to be a YouTuber, and Jungkook always plays along. 

The passive-aggressive dynamic between Jungkook and Tae is so entertaining, but sometimes I can’t tell if Jungkook is being a cheeky brat or if he’s serious, haha! Again, I don’t get why so many people persist in not understanding the dynamic between those two. 

I recently tried sushi, and I get the hype now. I totally get the boys’ reaction, and I’m sure the sushi I had wasn’t as good, fresh, or authentic as what they were eating. 

The three of them honestly looked like baby birds waiting to be fed, haha! They take good food very seriously, haha! 

Something we saw a lot in this episode is how Jimin and Jungkook completely get each other’s quirks and know how to play along because it’s basically the same for both of them. Watching them with others, especially other members, just makes it more obvious because the other person, in this case, Tae, looks lost/confused about what Jimin and Jungkook are saying or doing, haha! 

Yes, Jimin, please do more shows like this! I’m totally on board. Jungkook obviously agrees. 

Okay, it’s sweet that Tae thought of Joon and wondered why he didn’t join them. Something no one can deny, no matter how hard they try, is that those seven guys love being together. They’re always thinking of each other, BUT the fact that Jungkook almost immediately responded that not everyone is invited/part of the show is such a MOOD. The fact that he did it while sounding and looking serious makes it even funnier. The way Jimin followed up by saying the show was really for him and Jungkook, practically implying that even Tae shouldn’t have been there and that he only was because they allowed it, is an even bigger MOOD. And then Tae wrapping it all up by saying he felt it and was grateful they invited him is pure comedy, but with a bit of dark humour. It made me wonder if even off-camera, Jimin and Jungkook kept reminding Tae that he was just a guest and the show was really for the two of them, haha! Ahhh, the passive-aggressive relationship between these three is something else. 

Jimin and Tae are just too adorable together. 

Jungkook is really a passive-aggressive brat with Tae, isn’t he? Haha! 

They’ll always be each other’s biggest fans. 

Tae basically rubbing it in our faces that he can just call up and ask for an unreleased song hurt, haha! The privilege of being a BTS member. It’s also lovely to hear how much admiration they have for each other.

“Alone” is truly an incredible song. It’s still one of my favourite Jimin tracks and one that feels deeply personal to me.

I don’t know if this happened to anyone else, but I was surprised when Jimin took his shirt off, and I’m not sure why, haha. It’s just, well, it’s so out of character for him! Even though he always says he walks around the house barely dressed and loves showing off his shoulder, hahaha. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining—I love seeing Jimin’s tattoos.

Jungkook was checking out Jimin, wasn’t he? He was.

Hearing Jungkook say “Jimin-ssi” will always give me life, haha.

Okay, I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s my first tinhat moment of the episode, but Jungkook reminded Jimin that the pool was see-through because he knows what they’re like when they’re together. It was like a warning, wasn’t it? Like, “Remember, they can see us,” hahaha.

Okay, I’m not really into comparing dynamics, but one of the reasons I think it’s great that Tae was with Jimin and Jungkook in this setting is that you can clearly see the dynamic between each duo and how Jimin and Jungkook’s is just different from the others. And like I said in another post, the way each duo played in the pool is a good description of each one and how different they are from each other. This doesn’t mean it makes one ship real or more real than the other; it just shows why many of us see Jimin and Jungkook’s dynamic as different and a bit more similar to that of a romantic couple.

Jungkook and Tae playing in the pool were like two energetic guys just having fun. It’s what you’d expect to see when you hear the words “pool” and “men” in the same sentence. And yes, that sounds a bit sexist and stereotypical, but that was the vibe they gave off, sorry.

Jimin and Jungkook, on the other hand, were two guys being silly and careful with each other. I’ve already mentioned this above, but Jimin and Jungkook share the same quirkiness, and that helps them understand each other on levels that other members don’t. Some people on Twitter said they “get each other’s freak,” and they’re right, and this becomes even more evident when another member is around them. That’s why I always say Jimin and Jungkook operate on a different frequency than the others. They just click. I didn’t say it—Jungkook did.

The way they play is also different. Sorry, but objectively speaking, it is, and even though many deny it, that doesn’t make it any less true. They always seem to be flirting. Jungkook is always a bit more careful when it comes to Jimin, especially when their games involve physical contact. There’s always an extra layer in their interactions that simply sets their dynamic or relationship apart from the rest. It’s no wonder their moments are always used by fans to describe what Jimin or Jungkook would be like as a boyfriend, husband, etc.

I think it’s important to highlight the breath-holding endurance those two have underwater, hahaha!

From what I saw on Twitter and some of the ASKs I’ve received, some people are upset because some Jikookers keep mentioning that Tae was just a guest, and although jikookers are saying this in reaction to the subgroup that last week was pretending the show was about Tae and Jungkook or all of BTS, they’re also doing it because Jimin and Jungkook wouldn’t stop mentioning it in this episode. They directly called Tae “the guest,” so I don’t understand the “upset.”

Tae seemed tired and apparently had a stomach ache or something, so maybe that’s why he didn’t join in the fun, but I also wonder if he didn’t do it because he wanted to give Jimin and Jungkook their space. It seems he did something similar on the yacht, but we’ll get to that later.

Guys, I’m not even halfway through the episode, and I’ve already written three pages. I wonder if anyone has actually made it this far. If someone is reading this, I’m sorry, I talk a lot, but I feel like so many things happened in this episode that I want to comment on, everything. Oh, and I still need to write my conclusions. Sorry!

Okay, the conversation about ramyeon. I suppose this is the second tinhat moment of the episode. It’s pretty clear that Jimin and Jungkook know the double meaning of the question “Do you want to eat ramyeon with me?” right? Right. So, starting from that premise, it seemed like they were referring to the double meaning of that question or the variation of the question that Jimin asked. Starting with the tone in which Jimin asked the question. Yes, Jimin probably meant the question literally, BUT they knew how suggestive it was. The tone of their voices and certain reactions during that conversation really didn’t help.

Now, “ppeuri.” Is that another one of Jimin and Jungkook’s inside jokes? Yes, they explained why Jimin said it, but the way Jungkook brought it up and Jimin’s reaction makes you think, and sometimes it’s bad to think too much when it comes to these two.

Jimin and Jungkook talking about eating ramyeon while half-naked with their tattoos on full display isn’t good for my heart, let alone my imagination. But seeing them so happy makes me happy.

Also, am I the only one who felt like they cut a part of them around the fire? I hope we see more of that moment in the behind-the-scenes.

Ahhh, the feeling of the everyday life of the first two episodes is back! Jimin and Jungkook talking while getting ready is the most domestic thing in the world. The fact that they then sat together—personal space isn’t a concept they understand—looking at their phones and talking about their plans is simply… normal.

Jungkook confirming with Jimin that he hadn’t slept at all since New York is… interesting. Did Jungkook travel to New York before going to Jeju? I don’t remember. Or was he talking about when he and Jimin were there together? Because if it’s the first one, why would Jimin know that (more or less rhetorical question), and if it’s the second one, wow. I mean, was the last time Jungkook slept well when he was with Jimin? Or is it because it was the last time he took a break? Even if it technically also counted as work? That moment was definitely edited and had parts cut out.

Jimin and Jungkook silently competing to see who got to the bed first is too funny, and the fact that Tae was awake or had woken up anyway makes it even funnier, hahaha!

Now, Jimin + Jungkook + bed = interesting, right? Haha. The way Jimin immediately threw his legs over Jungkook, and Jungkook just laughed and got more comfortable without even bothering to move them, really shows how at ease they are with each other. Although Jimin and Jungkook are pretty comfortable together, it's rare to see them in these kinds of situations or moments—or better yet, in bed together, haha—so it’s definitely interesting to see them like this. Jimin warning Jungkook not to hit him again was too funny.

And then, eventually, Jungkook gave his bed to Jimin.

Aww, Jungkook’s conversation with his mum was too sweet. The way they talk the same way is just adorable.

Once again, their relationship, especially Jungkook's, with food is something else, haha. And very serious.

Mate, Jimin and Jungkook teasing Tae sometimes is hilarious, haha.

Not Jungkook telling Tae he basically had to pay for his share of the food. Why is he like this?

Jimin and cats are a match made in heaven, and it’s cruel that he’s allergic.

The guys mentioning that another member would have enjoyed this or that, or wondering why they weren’t there, is just so heartwarming. They really do love each other and appreciate being together. BTS forever.

Yes, Jimin, you guys definitely need to do another show. You can call it whatever you want, but give us another show like this, please.

Jimin, I can tell you that the trips to the USA and Jeju were amazing! Fun. Wholesome. Thank you for sharing those moments with us.

It’s a shame Tae didn’t seem to be feeling well on the yacht, and I also think that wasn’t exactly his kind of fun? Not being on the yacht per se, but swimming or snorkelling like Jimin and Jungkook did. I also wonder if he was giving Jimin and Jungkook their space, after all, the show is about them, and everything they did was planned for the two of them.

Okay, Jimin pretending to be a paramedic giving first aid to one of the members isn’t new, but pretending to give mouth-to-mouth is?! And the way Jungkook didn’t seem surprised—sorry, but the editor’s comment, “A way-too-effective-kiss of life (?)” hello?! The way Jimin seemed embarrassed or shy immediately afterwards was too funny.

Jimin and Jungkook are just too cool. We often talk about how adventurous Jungkook is, but sometimes we forget that Jimin is just as adventurous. He likes fun things that some might consider extreme. He enjoys sports and risky stuff, maybe not as much as Jungkook, but almost. And that’s another thing they have in common, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that made planning many of the activities they did much easier.

Jimin and Jungkook are very good swimmers. Jimin and Jungkook just click.

I’d like to believe that once the group resumes activities, the agency editors won’t put stickers to cover their bodies when they’re semi-naked or showing “too much” skin, haha.

It’s funny how both the editors and Jimin and Jungkook themselves use any name but Jikook or Kookmin—though I think Kookmin would be the most obvious and familiar to them. Now it’s not Jikook but Jimkook. Maybe to avoid confusion, haha.

Well, in the end, Jimin and Jungkook did share a packet or cup of ramyeon. Haha.

Mate, the drone suddenly falling into the water was too funny, and I don’t even know why, haha. And Jungkook saying up until the last minute that Tae was the guest of the show is a mood.

Jimin and Jungkook cuddling while watching the sunset, with Jungkook filming it. That’s all that needs to be said.

Wait, didn’t Jungkook say that the drawing Jimin posted on Instagram was of a whale? I remember ARMY was saying it was a fish, I think? And he was like, “No! It’s a whale!” So why was Jungkook originally saying the cloud looked like a shark? Or was that a translation error?

I really loved how Tae respected some of the moments between Jimin and Jungkook and joined them at the right time.

MY CONCLUSIONS ON THE FOURTH EPISODE

God, this post is already too long, so I’ll try to be more concise here.

I really liked the episode. I think the vibe was a mix of what we saw in the first two episodes and the third one. Jimin feeling better changed the trio's dynamic, in my opinion.

Something I think I’ve mentioned several times before the first episode of this show even aired is that I was curious to see the dynamic between Jimin and Jungkook without the presence of the other members, and we got plenty of that in the first two episodes. I believe the contrast couldn’t have been clearer. I also remember saying something similar when it was confirmed that Tae would be in this part of the show. I said it would be interesting to see the dynamic between the three of them—not just without the other members but also in the context they were in. Again, the contrast between each pair and among the three of them couldn’t have been clearer, at least to me, and I think this episode made it even more apparent.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Tae get along really well, but they don’t always vibe on the same frequency. This means that when the fun ends, they can seem a bit awkward. Maybe it’s the cameras, I don’t know. In my post about the previous episode, I talked about how I see the dynamic between each pair, and in this one, where Jimin was more active, it was easier to “compare” the dynamics, especially when Jimin and Jungkook did similar things to what we saw Jungkook and Tae doing in the third episode. I’ve mentioned this above, but to sum up: they’re different. There’s something about the way Jimin and Jungkook interact that looks different. That sounds different. One thing I always notice is that the tone of their voices changes. It becomes softer, quieter. Calmer. And that only happens with them.

I loved the little moments of everyday life between Jimin and Jungkook. The moments of them just being themselves. Being together, having fun. That’s what the show is about, isn’t it?

I liked that, for whatever reason, Tae knew when to give them space. And I think this episode made it clear that this show is really just about Jimin and Jungkook. Even though it wasn’t necessary to prove the obvious, it’s pretty ironic that this happened after all the noise last week. Jikook karma is stronger than ever.

Jimin and Jungkook mentioning more than once that Tae was a guest was funny. They can be a bit petty when they want to be, but at the same time, I highly doubt they were upset about him joining the trip, as many fans have been suggesting. If they weren’t okay with Tae joining them, he wouldn’t have done so. I’m sure of that.

I’m surprised there’s going to be another episode in Jeju, to be honest, but I’m not complaining.

Final conclusion: I liked the episode. I liked seeing Jimin and Jungkook in sync again. Enjoying their holiday, they obviously deserved it and needed it. I’m glad Tae got to experience some of that too. That they were all together.

Now, I’ve seen some posts from the subgroup changing the narrative yet again. Insulting Jungkook and even his mum. How these people still have space in this fandom is beyond me. How no one else is calling them out for their behaviour—no one other than Jikookers, really—is inconceivable. Sad but not surprising. Not really. The narrative will change even more with the next episode, and it’ll be even more drastic once the episodes in Japan start airing. So, brace yourselves.

To those who were happy with this episode but not with the third one, I suggest you ask yourself what kind of fan you are. And I don’t mean a BTS fan; I mean, what kind of fan of Jimin and Jungkook are you really?

If you made it this far, thanks for reading all of this. I’m not sure if it makes sense. Apologies for any spelling and grammar mistakes. See you in the next episode, haha.

[lpsgirl109]

THE OFFICIAL OLIVIA ROSEMARY OCTAVIUS INFO POST 🔥🔥🔥

Finally deciding to make a proper explanation on who this girl is, considering I talk about her so much. Gonna preface this by saying that this character has nothing to do with Spiderverse Doc Ock. I genuinely forgot she existed until I was info dumping to my friend and he made a joke about it, and then I mentally exploded about it /j. So, same name, completely different character

Olivia is my OC who is the daughter of Otto and Rosie Octavius. She's childhood friends with Peter, Harry, and MJ. In terms of relationships, I've sort of dug myself into a pit where I've ended up shipping her with just about everyone ever /hj. But the important Olivia ships are Harlivia (Harry/Olivia) OJ (MJ/Olivia) Spider Quartet (Peter Harry Liv MJ polycule) and Felivia (Felicia Hardy/Olivia)

Here's a basic idea of what she looks like

i plan on making individual designs for each version of her eventually, but this is kinda her main design

Olivia's story differs with every universe I put her in. Because I plan on making at least a few long fics about her in the future, I'm not gonna go too deep into those plots, mainly because there's some things I'd like to see my friends' live reactions to (Hi Jade. The raimi Olivia fic is gonna destroy you :3). The main thing she shares across every universe is that post Otto dying or getting arrested or whatever, Olivia goes on to recreate an eight armed version of his octopus arms. Sometimes they're used for good, sometimes they're used for evil. Really depends on the circumstances she's in.

Some fun little facts about her are that she's half mexican (I hc Rosie being mexican. This may or may not have been for projection purposes). She's really good at cooking. A huge hobby of hers is gardening, her favorite flowers are roses. Her dream is to one day become a marine biologist (though she only achieves this in like one or two universes LMAO). She has a lot of knowledge in engineering from Otto, which is how she recreates his arms. I often associate her with these like reddish pink colors. I can't really explain it but they fit her to me. I also think she'd be a huge cat person

My ask box is always and forever open to Olivia asks. I love talking about her. I'm also totally cool with people having their own OCs associate with Olivia!! It's super fun to me :)

[ivachism-blog]

A wonderful mix of songs made by alicesoissons for Guardian. 

[cycat-carisi]

After Midnight

Part 2 of Gift Exchange!

Ship: Sonny x Reader Summary: Covers the New Year’s Eve square on @storiesofsvu’s holiday bingo! Tags: Just more fluff! Total Word Count: 720 AO3

Your red scarf is looped around Sonny's neck, trapping him against your body as you share in breathless kiss after breathless kiss.

"We -" you kiss Sonny, stealing his words. "Hafta -" This time he claims your lips with just as much passion. "Tell the Captain -" Another kiss. "’Bout us..."

Sonny reluctantly drags his lips away from yours, tenderly placing his hands on your shoulders so you look at him. His cheeks are flushed, contrasting those blue eyes of his. You bite your lip, only wanting him to resume kissing you in this perfect little world the two of you share. "I know, Son, but can't it wait til after tonight?"

You watch a sad smile creep onto his face. Sonny is an honest man; it's one of the things you love about him, but he also understands the gravity of your new relationship. Once the squad knows, one of you will have to transfer. And even though you've gained one another as romantic partners, there will still be the loss that accompanies losing your best friend at work too.

Sonny raises a warm hand to your cheek and gives you a loving smile. "You're right, doll. One more night can't hurt." He then recaptures your lips in a sweet kiss.

---

"Hey, we match!" you say cheerfully as you walk the hall leading to Olivia's apartment.

Sonny looks down at himself noticing that the tie his boss had given him for Christmas was the same color as the scarf he had gotten you for the gift exchange. A little wave of panic flutters in his stomach as Sonny recalls telling Olivia about the scarf beforehand, but the thought is quickly set aside as you flash him a winning smile.

"Ready?" you ask, unlinking your arm from his. He gives you a nod and you knock on the Captain's door.

It's opened to you with warm greetings from your colleagues. "Look who I found along the way!" you laugh and the small crowd cheers as Sonny steps in behind you.

Once the hellos are out of the way and the two of you hang up your coats, Sonny brushes your arm tenderly as a way to let you know he loves you. You secretly place your hand atop his before parting to mingle with the rest of your squad.

You quickly lose track of time laughing and swapping stories with your friends as the clock ticks towards midnight. Then all of a sudden you hear Olivia say Sonny's name. You covertly flash your gaze across the room to see her lead him into the kitchen...

---

Sonny found it a little strange that his boss had pulled him away from the party and into the little kitchenette. Nonetheless, he followed obediently.

"You wore your tie!" the Captain chimes, keeping her voice low.

"Yeah, I love it," grins Sonny. "Love the red too!"

"I knew it was her favorite color." Olivia's eyes then flick towards you in the living room.

Sonny' cheeks redden, officially panicked.

A warm smile spreads across the Captain's face. "Some things can wait until after midnight, Carisi." she taps Sonny's shoulder reassuringly as she rejoins the group with a fresh bottle of wine.

---

You see the interaction unfold and fidget nervously as you watch Sonny stiffen. He then releases a breath and the Captain walks out. What had just happened? You try to make eye contact with Sonny for some indication as he leaves the kitchen, but are interrupted when the countdown begins.

With cheeks rosy from wine, your friends and squad members begin to chant the backwards count from ten. You halfheartedly join in, not wanting to stand out but your eyes finally find Sonny's blues. He's counting down too yet he's fixated on you.

Happy New Year! rings out through the tiny apartment and you watch Sonny smile. There's a glint in his eye as he crosses the room towards you. Your heart lurches. What is he doing? He stops in front of you. You're so close that his breath tickles your cheek. “Happy New Year, doll,” he breathes before placing a hand behind your head and cradling you against him for a tender kiss.

In that moment you didn’t care that all eyes were on you. After all, it was after midnight.

Thanks to @witches-unruly-heart for inspiring to make a part 2 🥰

Taglist: @barbasbodaciousbeard @teamsladsandgents @caracalwithchips @averyhotchner

[rhysismydaddy]

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 3 (Nessian)

Damnation Series

Parts 1 / 2 / 4 / 5 

_________________________________________________

~Cassian~

By the time I sneak in the apartment, it’s the middle of the night. The boxes in the corner tell me my fiancé is here, has officially moved in with me, and I take a moment to appreciate how fucking weird that feels.

I might be appreciative of all things women and have definitely earned my reputation as a player, but I’ve never had a woman live in my place.

It’s... weird.

I walk quietly through the place, passing the guest room she’s sleeping in, and into my room.

Then pause, because it turns out she’s not in the guest room.

Nesta’s sprawled in my bed, on my side, hair spilling over my pillow like liquid sunshine. The moon seems to favor her, highlighting the features I have a hard enough time avoiding looking at during the day, and I pinch the bridge of my nose as I think about how much more difficult it’s going to be to sleep now.

But I refuse to leave my own room, since this very well could be a power play, so I just walk to the attached bathroom, close the door, and sigh.

Looking in the mirror proves I look like shit, and I wonder what Nesta will think when she wakes up next to me.

She probably won’t care.

I have a feeling it takes something pretty drastic to shake that blasé attitude out of her.

After taking a cold shower to minimize the bruising, I pad across the room, grab some boxers, and slide into bed next to my blushing bride to be.

She shifts and turns onto her side, and I realize she’s stolen one of my t-shirts to sleep in. It’s ridiculously big on her, falling off her shoulders, and not nearly thick enough to hide what’s underneath.

Fucking hell.

Even asleep, I can’t ignore her.

Her smell--citrus and jasmine and vanilla--is fucking all over me, stuffing itself in my nostrils and not letting me relax.

I’ve never been this attracted to how a woman smells.

Most times, perfumes and lotions and whatever other sorcery women lather on themselves has the opposite effect, actually.

But all I can think about right now is rolling over and burying my face in her neck. Then burying a different part of me in her.

Even though I should turn over and at least try to sleep, I let myself look at her.

Her lips are slightly parted and look like they’d taste like candy, and there’s a serene, peaceful expression on her face that’s so different from the fierce one she usually wears.

She wiggles, somehow sliding closer, and murmurs, “Stop staring at me.”

I chuckle, and the simple fact that we’re laying in bed whispering to each other does strange things to my head.

Nesta apparently agrees, turning over and facing away from me. I take a moment to appreciate the sweep of her hips, and she seems to know exactly what I’m looking at when she says, “Goodnight, pervert.”

A smile threatens to bloom, so I wipe my hand across my face and smother it.

Maybe marriage won’t be so bad.

~

When I wake up, I amend my statement. Marriage definitely won’t be so bad.

I’m wrapped around around Nesta--which probably happened the instant I fell asleep--and my nose is against the soft skin of her neck, allowing me to breathe in the smell of her over and over again.

She just feels... right.

She’s relaxed against me, which is surprising, considering where my hand is.

One very numb arm is under her head as a makeshift pillow, but it’s the other one that’s interesting. It’s wrapped around her narrow waist, holding her tight to my chest and ending in the hand cupping her breast.

She’ll probably kill me the second she wakes up, but it might be worth it.

Fuck, she feels good against me.

But I realize I’m acting like the pervert she accused me of being, so I slide my hand down, towards the more neutral territory of her stomach.

I’m helpless, however, to stop myself from kissing the side of her neck softly.

She stirs, and I freeze like a red-handed thief.

But she just turns over in my arms, pressing her front to mine, and slips an arm around my waist, sighing sleepily. Her hand roams over my back, nails raising goosebumps in their wake as they softly trace over my skin.

She blinks her eyes open, takes in our tangled up position, and says simply, “Huh.”

“Yeah,” I respond like a monosyllabic idiot.

Clear blue eyes on mine, she brings her hand up to my face and lightly touches the split lip I’m sure is puffy as hell.

Fucker had a fast right hook.

“You made me a lot of money last night,” she murmurs, tapping my lip once, then twice.

“What?” I ask, too turned on and dizzy to focus on what she said.

She was there? She saw me fight?

A strange sense of male pride goes through me at that, considering I won.

“I had the bookie place a bet for me,” Nesta says, stopping that caveman train of thought in its tracks.

“How’d you know?”

I keep my fighting far away from the public’s eye, going clear across town to Lucky’s. It’s a small shipping company, and Lucky, the man who runs the place, uses some empty containers to host fights every week.

He knows who I am but doesn’t care, claiming he’s too old to be scared of some “young Mafia punk.” He also doesn’t allow cell phones or recordings, and there’s no written records of the fights.

She raises an eyebrow. “You realize Alexei owns that entire shipping yard, right?”

I had not.

“Huh,” I say, stealing her line from a minute ago. “And you bet on me? Why?”

“Call it intuition.”

I remember the way her eyes tracked over me yesterday, like there wasn’t anything she didn’t see, and I realize she knew I like to fight from the second she saw me.

“Glad I could help pad your bank account,” I tell her, smiling. “And I’m glad you make yourself at home in my absence. But just for future reference... I sleep on that side of the bed.”

She leans in, lips an inch from mine, and whispers, “Not anymore, you don’t.”

A rough smile is all the warning I give her before I pull her close and turn over, practically throwing her to the other side of the bed.

I don’t know what I expect her to do, but it sure as hell isn’t jab me in the ribs, crawl over me, and retake her original spot.

Prodding my ribs, I notice she hit me right on a pressure point. Like she knew exactly what she was doing.

She grins, a challenge lighting up her bright eyes and making her look even more alive.

“Oh, malyshka,” I whisper, somehow knowing calling her a pet name will piss her off. “You’re in so much trouble.”

“Bring it, stronzo,” she shoots back, calling me an asshole in my own fucking language. Disrespectful.

I grab her wrists to try and pin her, but she’s fucking fast as an adder, slipping out from underneath me and poking me in the ribs again.

I step it up a notch, and for a few moments, we’re busy wrestling in bed.

It’s honest to God the most fun I’ve had in ages.

I’ve never met a woman who knows how to fight, much less one I can’t seem to pin. I have a hundred pounds on her, yet more than once, I’m the one struggling.

She continues pressing pressure points, some I never even knew existed, and despite the fact it sure as hell doesn’t feel good, I find myself laughing.

By the time I eventually just tackle her and press her into the mattress with my weight, I’m out of breath and can’t stop laughing at how ridiculous it is.

I grab her wrists and pin them above her head, my legs on top of hers to keep her from doing something clever like kneeing me in the balls. “Slippery little sucker, aren’t you?”

There’s a beat of silence, and then she tilts her head back and laughs.

Watching that stony exterior crack might be the best thing I’ve ever seen.

She comes alive, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. Her laugh is a beautiful sound, light and airy and I can’t stop myself.

I drop down and kiss her, pressing my smile to hers.

She stops laughing.

And then she sighs, and the sound is so goddamn pretty I almost can’t take it.

She pushes up on my hands, hands wanting freedom, so I release her wrists and brace myself on my elbows above her. Nesta winds her arms around me, hands delving in my hair, and kisses me back.

I try to keep my weight off her, but she’s having none of that and wraps her legs around me and pulls me down, fusing our hips together.

I press myself against her, and she arches up in response, drawing a low sound out of my throat.

Now that my hands are free, they roam through her hair, across her sides, down her thighs.

She’s so goddamn soft.

She moves against me like it’s second nature, kisses me like she can’t get enough.

And when I move to kiss a path down her throat, inhaling that intoxicating scent as I suck on her skin, she softly moans my name. I feel like I’m on fire, and her saying my name like that that does absolutely nothing to help, so I bite on the junction between her shoulder and neck in retaliation for being so addictive.

She says my name, then again, and I notice it isn’t in the same soft tone as before.

My head snaps up, gaze finding hers to try and figure out if I did something wrong.

Her lips and cheek are rosy, blonde hair a halo around her.

“I think we should wait,” she states, even though she doesn’t make a move to leave or throw me off. And I know now she definitely could.

“For what?”

Her lips twitch. “Our wedding.”

It takes me a long time to respond. “Are you a-”

“No,” she says, looking at me with a teasing look in her eyes.

“Oh.”

“I just think it’d make it better,” she reasons.

Personally, I think it’d be perfect right the hell now, but I nod like I’m not hard enough to deform the mattress I’m pressing my hips into. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she mutters back, and we spend a moment lying there, breathing each other’s air. Until, “I should probably get up, then.”

Because I suddenly know a total of one word, I just reply, “Okay.”

I roll off of her and onto my back, putting a hand over my eyes so I’m not tempted to look at her ass as she gets up and pads to the bathroom.

I listen to her shower and get ready, all the while wondering how the absolute hell I’m going to live with her, have her sleep in my bed, without actually having sex with her.

She’s tempting enough wearing fucking work clothes, but if I wake up again with her in my arms? Fuck.

I could always go to someone else, but for some strange reason, the thought of being like every other man in the Cosa Nostra and having a mistress makes me sick. Or maybe it’s the fact that in a matter of two whole days, I’ve become completely wrapped around Nesta’s finger and don’t want to hurt her like that.

The object of my obsession comes out, walking over to the closet in a towel, and I look at the ceiling in misery.

Maybe I should stay in the guest room.

~

By the time I can breathe again and have gotten over the feeling of my balls fucking falling off, Nesta’s gone. She got dressed like nothing was the matter, asked if I was going to sit on my ass all day, and told me she’d be back later tonight as she slipped out the door.

It’s still early, and I wonder for a second where she’s going, but then shrug and stop sitting around pining.

I put on a dark suit--something I only do when I have corporate shit to do--and drive further downtown to Sera. It’s my first day, and I scheduled an all-staff to meet everyone and introduce myself.

I park and walk through the bank, nodding to the teller who opens the secondary bank door and lets me in the club. People are waiting inside, which is a little strange since I’m five minutes early, but I’m not complaining.

I take in the faces I’ve spent the past couple days memorizing as people file in. The staff is interesting, to say the least. More than a few have records, and some are from places of the world I’ve never heard of.

The investors come in last, the only corporate-looking people in the room. They come up and shake my hand while the employees choose to watch me with a strange look in their eyes.

Once everyone’s inside and seated, I smile and introduce myself.

“My name is Cassian Azara. I’m the new owner of Sera, and I just wanted to come by, introduce myself, and meet you guys.” No one smiles back or says anything, but I don’t let it bother me. “The change in management won’t impact the day to day aspect too much. I like the way things are and don’t plan on changing anything, but let me know if you need anything or have suggestions.”

One woman sitting in the back speaks up, her voice clipped and irritated. “What’s the point of taking over, if you aren’t changing anything?”

I don’t really know what to say, so I ask back, “Do you have a suggestion?”

She rolls her eyes, looking pissed as hell, and pulls out her phone.

Weird.

I stop speaking to the group, and the investors make a point to shake my head again. After they’re gone, I walk around to introduce myself individually, finding the general vibe to be... definitely not welcome.

I understand it’s weird for a stranger to come in and claim they’re the boss, but I just said it shouldn’t impact their lives too much, so I don’t understand the reaction I’m getting.

Some people ignore me, some look at me with irritation, and some just get up and leave.

I turn to the bartender, one of the only ones who didn’t act like he wants to stab me with a rusty knife, as he leaves. “Is there a reason they all hate me?”

He gives me a strange look over his shoulder. “We’re all pretty fond of the previous owner.”

Alexei? These people all like Alexei?

I’ve never heard a nice word about that man, but I guess he won their loyalty over time.

Whatever. If these people like that cold bastard, they’re sure to love me.

~

What feels like a full twenty-four hours later, I walk through the door to my apartment and realize how fucking wrong I was.

The employees of Sera do not like me. I dealt with business of my own after the quick meet and greet this morning, then came back to do management stuff at six.

Immediately, I was met with complaints and broken things and inventory problems and about a million other things I don’t have to deal with at my other properties.

I’ve never met a group of people so difficult to work with.

Nesta eyes me as I come through the door, tilting her head curiously. “You look like shit.”

There’s something... interesting about her tone, but I shrug it off.

I wish I could lie and say she looks bad, too, but she somehow looks perfect and fresh as a daisy after whatever she’s done all day.

“Long day.”

She raises an eyebrow, looking at me over the top of her laptop.

“The employees at Sera, one of your dad’s old clubs, aren’t too happy with me taking over. They were a pain in the ass all day.”

Nesta looks at me for a while, something I can’t read playing in her gaze. “Huh.”

I grab a beer from the fridge and fling myself down next to her, looking over at her with my patented bedroom eyes. “You know what would make me feel so much better?” I ask, innuendo making the answer pretty obvious.

“Minet?”

My brow furrows. “I don’t know what that means.”

She sighs, getting to her feet and stretching her arms over her head in a way that makes her dress slide up her thighs. “Look it up, big boy. I’m going to bed. And before you ask, no, that isn’t an invitation.”

“Stay on your side,” I warn with a grin. “I’d hate to have to kick your ass again.”

Nesta just scoffs, taking her laptop up the stairs and disappearing into my... our room.

I look up minet, smile, and yell, “That’s exactly what I was thinking!”

She doesn’t respond, but I hear soft laughter and know she heard me.

Sighing about my lack of minet, I pull out my own computer, planning on going through some of the complaints I received tonight. But something makes me pause and remember the look on Nesta’s face when I told her about my day.

And her tone... it was amusement, I realize.

I pull up the deed and find out why.

Sera, and the building it’s hidden within, never belonged to Alexei. They were bought and built by little miss Nesta Orlov.

Interesting.

I keep digging and find out why the employees there are so loyal to her. One way or another, she saved them. All of them.

The bartender with the criminal record who struggled to find employment, the street performer who was sleeping on a park bench, the dancer who was denied a VISA until Nesta met with the governor on her behalf.

Every single employee is somehow bound to Nesta, somehow in her debt.

It’s fucking genius.

Instead of spending money to buy loyalty, she chose people who’d give it to her for the simple price of a job.

No wonder they hate me.

Maybe it’ll blow over when we announce our engagement at the party and they realize she’s still in the picture.

Although for some reason, I have the strange feeling that what happened today was just the beginning.

____________________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

My Headcanons for Thomastair’s Children:

Their children include; their two adopted daughters Rosie and Harriet. Reminder that this is Modern AU, bu Jasper’s can be for either Modern or post TLH. I might do this for the other ships kids if people like this!

Rosie Lightwood-Carstairs (Age 5):

She was adopted when she was an infant, after being abandoned at a hospital by her biological mother

Rosie is named after Thomas’s deceased older sister, Barbara, and her full name is Barbara Rose Lightwood-Carstairs

She only goes by her middle name because she knows it makes Thomas sad and she doesn’t want to make her father sad

To her and Harriet, Alastair is “baba” and Thomas is “daddy”

Rosie is a social butterfly kind of child, along with being very curious, two things that don’t always go well together

She has a habit of accidentally wandering off while in public and which makes Thomas worry that she’s actually going to get lost some day

Even though she’s not biologically related to him, many people say that she looks a lot like Thomas, which is true

It’s because of her light brown curls and hazel eyes that people say that

Christopher is her godfather and Cordelia is her godmother

Matthew is her favorite uncle, much to Alastair’s chagrin

She doesn’t like to play music, but likes to sit with Alastair when he plays

Rosie likes to draw and paint (especially finger painting)

Alastair and Thomas always hang up her artwork on the refrigerator, they never throw gjem out, they just give them back to her when the fridge gets too full

Rosie usually ends up giving them to her siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, anyone who wants them

She totally has Gideon wrapped around her finger and Sophie likes to tease him about it

Cordelia nicknamed her “petal” and khoshgelam (“my beautiful” in Farsi)

Eugenia calls her “Little Babs”

Thomas calls her “Rosie Posie”, everyone else has also called her that on occasion

Thomas also calls both of his daughters princesa, which is Spanish for princess

Alastair calls her eshgham, which is love in Farsi

Everyone has gone to her princess themed tea parties at least once

Lucie once caught both Matthew and Alastair with tiaras on their heads and feather boas around their shoulders, all the while drinking invisible tea and eating invisible scones

She took a picture of them and sent it to Thomas, who promptly died of cuteness overload

It was on all of the TLH gang’s Instagrams by the end of the day

She is closest to Molly Fairchild out of all of her “cousins”, since they’re the closest together in age

Rosie also loves to play with Cordelia and James’s boys, always making sure that Owen and Michael don’t leave Elliot and Samuel out of their games

Harriet Lightwood-Carstairs (Age 3):

Her name was Harriet when Alastair and Thomas adopted her, but they gave her the middle name Sona to honor Alastair’s mother

She was officially adopted just before her second birthday, but had been with the Lightwood-Carstairs since she was ten months old

Harriet is actually Rosie’s biological sister

Thomas and Alastair were told of her existence from the person who fostered her before her adoption

They immediately wanted to adopt her and they didn’t think twice about it

She has so many nicknames (more than Rosie) that it’s a wonder she knows her real name

Rosie calls her “Harryo”

Alastair and Thomas call her “Hettie”

Isidore and Immy call her “Harry”

Thomas calls her princesa and querida mía (my darling)

Alastair calls her azizam (my dear)

Everyone else has their own nicknames for her

Eugenia and Ariadne are her godmothers (she has no godfather, just two godmothers)

She is shyest one out of the Lightwood-Carstairs kids and she really only comes out of her shell when around her family

Harriet is often seen being held by her parents or godparents

Almost everyone has been a victim of Harriet clinging onto them

It’s like a rite of passage at this point

She loves it when Alastair or Thomas sing to her and often attempts to sing along with them

Thomas swore it was the cutest thing he has ever seen when he walked in on Alastair singing a lullaby for Harriet during nap time and she attempted to sing along

Alastair thinks she’ll be an amazing muscian one day

She speaks with a small lisp that everyone finds adorable

Rosie often drags her along when doing things and says the two of them are partners in crime

In conclusion, Alastair and Thomas are happy and love their children. The end.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 10 favorite things about TFS?

Bold of you to assume I can narrow it down to just 10 things, but I’ll try my best. 

Here’s a list of things I LOVE about The Final Season of TWDG, starting from #10 and working my way down to #1.

10. Rosie is best girl and doesn’t die 

Listen, okay? If you give me a game with a doggo companion that I bond with only to have said doggo die for dramatic effect... you automatically lose 2 outta 5 stars on your rating. Case in point: Season 2.

However, tfs knew not to kill Rosie off for dramatic effect, knew it’d be cheap. Plus, Rosie is a sweetheart and I love that she helps Clementine come to terms with her past trauma with dogs and genuinely bonds with her. Rosie is best girl. 

9. Over the shoulder camera/controls 

They’re the best of the series, having come a LONG way since S1. Like, look... Don’t get me wrong. S1 isn’t unplayable or anything, far from it, but they’re not the greatest either. They’re pretty wonky at times, the fixed camera can get annoying when you’re moving around, and sometimes button presses don’t register. It’s definitely something I have to get used to whenever I go back and replay the entire series, and like I said, it’s not the worst controls in the world... but oh man, compared to TFS?

Have you ever played S1 and then jumped straight into TFS just to get a direct comparison of the two? Because I have and it’s jarring how much smoother, accurate, and overall better everything is in TFS.

Just... props, guys. Thank you for the over-the-shoulder, movable camera, thank you for the polished button prompts, and thank you for a run button that has Clementine go into a nice jog rather than a comical run or, eh... does nothing [lookin’ at you ANF... Javi slow].

It’s just so effortless to play. The most trouble I ever have is with doors but that’s a given- Doors make no goddamn sense in this series and I’ve given up trying to learn their secrets. Oh, and speaking of more improvements! 

The shooting mechanic in this game is leaps better than in S1. Y’all remember the Motor-Inn shootout? The one that was such a frustrating pain in the ass?? So much death and anger...

I still die sometimes when shooting the walkers with the bow, especially the ones that are on fire, but it’s nothing compared to the shooting mechanic in S1, so the biggest THANK YOU for that one. It’s actually enjoyable to shoot stuff this time around.

8. Collectibles 

You as Clementine get to pick up various collectibles to decorate her and AJ’s dorm with and it’s great. One of my favorite bits about this game is seeing Clementine wake up in this empty, lifeless room, and see it get brighter and brighter with every collectible you place throughout the game until you reach the final scene with AJ where the room is just FULL of life and personality. Like... it’s officially theirs. It’s such a good feeling! 

And the devs totally didn’t have to add the collectible system in, but I’m so thankful they did. I’m one of those people who gets every single collectible every single time I play. 

7. Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth

Y’know, I honestly can’t think of a better place for Clementine and AJ to end up than Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth. It’s awesome, I love it, what a great idea. I also love the sense of wonder when we step outside for the first time and see the inside of Ericson, as well as the others, walking around. Like even Clementine is taken back by it.

Because of course it makes sense for Clementine to end up in a school surrounded by people closer to her age rather than with a group of dumbass adults like in the past three games.

Here it feels like they’re all about on the same level. There’s no older person here belittling Clementine because “she’s just a child and doesn’t get it,” they’re just people, y’know? Hell, if anything, Clementine’s now the most experienced one!

The school’s great! I wouldn’t change a thing about TFS taking place here. The environments are beautiful and I love exploring the world. 

6. Marlon as an antagonistic character/final confrontation 

I have an entire Marlon character discussion/study so I won’t put too much time into this one, but I will say that I love Marlon’s part in tfs. I love him as a surprise antagonistic character, I love how chill he is in the beginning, I love the final confrontation at the end of ep1... I just really like Marlon, y’know?

Ray Chase gives a damn near perfect performance as Marlon, so much so that I wish he survived past ep1 just so that I could hear more of his acting. Marlon himself in an interesting look at a leader character hiding his shame and guilt while trying to maintain control over everyone [including himself] around him, only to be broken down when he’s found out. 

5. James 

I know people tend to be pretty split on James, but I personally really like his role in tfs. I love that they included a character who was apart of the Whisperers, and hell, if anything I’d like to know MORE about James’ past with them. 

I just find him and his whole “walkers are sort of people? kinda?” beliefs. Again, I know some people get annoyed with him because of his beliefs but I think he adds an interesting spin on the whole thing, y’know? Though I do love what a bitch he is if you don’t agree with him hahaha

James is a bitch and I love him, okay? I love his dumb walker mask, I love his dumb boyband hair, I love his whispery voice, and I love his backstory with the Whisperers and Charlie. I love this he’s trying so hard to be this pacifist that he ends up doing the literal thing he said he doesn’t want to do-- hurt people. Y’know... like attempting to kidnap AJ and threatening to break Clementine’s leg in the caves if he’s alive. 

Which, by the way, that whole cave scene is a thing. It’s wild and I love it but not for the reasons the devs probably wanted. Like... it’s a little hilarious? I know it’s not supposed to be! But I can’t take James seriously when he’s walkin’ around his hands on his hips all huffy and puffy, okay? It’s just wild. 

Anyway, I love James and wouldn’t get rid of him. Hell, I’m still waiting for my James with the Whisperers mini-series, Skybound. 

4. Ericson Crew

There isn’t a single character from Ericson that I don’t like, or that I’d get rid of, which is rare with these games. Thinking back to the previous games, there’s always at least one person I could do without or that I didn’t like. I adore all of them!

The Ericson crew just feels closer than previous groups. For starters, they’re way more likable than most in our previous groups. Even when there’s tension [and boy is there tension at points] you still get the sense that they don’t hate each other, unlike in our previous groups. They do in fact love each other as a family and will do what they can to protect one another.

Plus, they’re all interesting. They’re troubled youth and I love all of them! 

Aasim keeps a daily journal where he chronicles everything in hopes of learning from past mistakes to prevent future ones, he’s damn good with a bow, and he’s got a neat little soul patch on his chin.  

Ruby is the tiny yet fiery medic of the group who adamantly believes in manners yet used to chase teachers around with pitchforks. 

Brody is caught up in the twin mess with Marlon but she’s also shown to want an escape, a road trip where she and her friends can go see the beach, but she also suffers with anxiety and panic attacks and isn’t afraid to knock Marlon on his ass or swear at Clementine. 

Mitch is a grumpy, tall boy who looks after Willy like a brother, knows how to make bombs out of manure and propane, and used to fight his neighbors because they didn’t like his face. 

Omar is a sassy chef who has to have every ingredient just right otherwise he’s salty for a week and he can take a bullet to the leg like a champ. 

Willy’s a goober who can climb trees like you wouldn’t believe and he made a bomb of his own in Mitch’s honor that completely wrecked the delta’s ship. 

Tenn is a soft, naïve boy who draws and reads but isn’t afraid to stab a walker bitch if he has to. 

Violet was sent to the school after witnessing her grandmother’s dead, she used to date Minerva who is now “dead,” has abandonment issues,  tries to give off the appearance of a grumpy grump but like once she’s comfortable with you she’ll tell you her life story and do romantic shit like dancing and painting you a pin. 

Louis was sent to Ericson because he was a rich brat who broke up his parents marriage because they wouldn’t let him take singing lessons and has felt like garbage ever since, using humor to cope and push people away, and keeps the façade on until someone’s willing to see past it in which he’ll finally bare his soul to you, name a song he wrote after you, and do everything in his power to keep you and everyone else safe over himself. 

I just... Love ‘em all. 

3. Clementine and AJ’s dynamic 

To think that they almost killed AJ off, or kept him a minor character. That would’ve been a shame and an absolute waste because Clementine and AJ’s dynamic is super fucking good in tfs. 

It’s actually a little baffling that AJ’s as good as he is, from his writing to his voice acting, he’s just great. And his relationship with Clementine is definitely one of my favorites to come from this game. It’s not perfect, but I don’t want perfect. 

I love that AJ looks to Clem for guidance and I love the way our choices affect him, even when it’s a case of the bridge scene. Hate the bridge scene knowing that I gotta sacrifice a character I care about for another I love, but I can’t deny that I love how that choice is made. After everything, do you trust AJ or not? 

Plus, their conversations are so well done, their chemistry is through the roof, and I wouldn’t change it. 

Oh, and the barn scene? Gets me every time, even though I already know everything’s fine and gonna work out. Still gets me. 

2. Clementine is Bisexual

I’ve talked about this in the past, but lemme just say that I love the fact that Clementine is canonically bisexual. 

Doesn’t matter if you’re dating Louis, Violet, or no one, Clementine is still bisexual. The game confirms it through it’s text/subtext and Clementine’s actions that we don’t have control over, and the devs confirmed it. She ain’t straight, she ain’t a lesbian, she is bisexual. 

I can’t express how happy that makes me. Just... 💗💜💙

And with her being bisexual comes her two great love interests: Louis and Violet. They’re amazing, and such an improvement over the previous game’s attempt at love interests... ahem, y’know... Kate.

1. Louis as a character/his relationship with Clementine 

I mean... c’mon. Y’all knew what #1 was gonna be. Do I even need to explain? This entire blog is just me gushing about Louis/clouis. 

Look, Louis is my favorite non-playable character across the entire series. Hell, even when you factor in playable characters, he’s STILL my absolute favorite. Like, even outside of his relationship with Clementine, I find him to be such a compelling character by himself. 

Like I mentioned above, he came from a stupid rich family who gave him everything he ever wanted, but when his father wouldn’t let him take singing lessons, he literally worked for over a year to break up his parents marriage because “you get to be happy or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” 

He gets sent to Ericson where the apocalypse happens, he never gets to make up with his parents, and he ends up using jokes and piano as a coping mechanism to deal with everything, falls into a cycle of being unreliable and the butt of the joke, and lives one day at a time without much thought for the future. 

He puts on the happy jokester persona to push people away from knowing the real him and rarely shares much about himself. Hell, when Clementine does hunting and decides to take care of the walker with him, he actually does let down the wall for a minute to share his view on “this moment” before looking away like “Oof, shared too much-- HEY, GO CHECK ON AASIM :D I’LL BE OVER HERE :D FIXING THE TRAP :D and adjusting the wall ahem--” 

It’s so interesting because you’d think that he’d be more open about his past with Marlon or the twins or whatever [like Violet is] but no, he doesn’t tell you shit about his past until EPISODE 3 and you have to work to get that story. 

I just... I just love him. Could talk about and analyze his character for hours. And I love his relationship with Clementine. It’s just so good. The piano scene where they finally admit their feelings for one another?? That shit has my entire heart. Their entire relationship is my favorite. What else is there to say? 

[royalcordelia]

In the Blue Haze (1/1)

Summary: In which Anne loves Gilbert, Gilbert loves Anne, and Bash is caught hoping they'll come to their senses. (A post 3x08 story).

Bash didn’t think there was anything particularly offensive about his front door, but  Anne gaped at it like it was about to open into the fiery depths of the earth. From his spot in the garden, surrounded by Mary’s forget-me-nots and chrysanthemum, Bash had watched Anne Shirley march up to his door a total of two times. 

Ah wait, he thought amused, that makes three. Each time she spun on her heel, she’d only made it a few steps away before turning back to the door, hand raised and ready to knock. On the third time, though, she hurried down the porch steps and froze on the last one, catching Bash’s eye. Her shoulders rose up to her ears in surprise, and if Bash didn’t know any better, he’d say she’d been crying. 

“Family don’t have to knock, Anne-girl. Besides, nothing in that house is going to bite you, not even the teething baby,” he called out. Anne’s shoulders relaxed, but her face was still guarded. “I called out to you when you first walked by, but you didn’t hear me.” 

“I’m sorry,” Anne apologized. Bash couldn’t help but think that she looked like a chestnut colored doe, frightened to be caught and unsure where to escape to. “Is Gilbert home?” 

Understanding flooded through Bash, and he stabbed his rake into the ground. He shifted on his feet, peering down at his toes to avoid stepping on the flowers. Delivering unpleasant news was never truly his forte. Anne’s distress only spread across the yard as he hesitated, so he heaved a disappointed sigh.

“Gilbert left for Charlottetown this morning. He wasn’t sure when he’d be home.” 

“To see Winifred?” 

Bash frowned. He loved this skinny little redheaded queen of Avonlea, and to see her disintegrating away crumpled his heart like paper. All he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Anne.” 

She paled into a ghost right on the porch steps, nodding numbly. Her lips parted as if she might say something, but no sound followed. Swallowing, Anne climbed down the rest of the stairs. She shuffled across the dirt path with her battered heart bleeding on her sleeve.

“Anne?” Bash called out. She paused, looking over her shoulder with rosy eyes. “Why don’t you go in and say hello to the baby. I bet she’d be happy to see you. Take your mind off of things. ”

“That’s okay, Bash. I’ll just go home.” 

“I just thought you might like a free moment to yourself, is all,” Bash explained. “But if you’d rather go back to Green Gables, I won’t blame you.” 

Anne swiped a hand across her cheek and nodded. She considered heading back down the road, but eventually decided on the company of one tiny little girl. She moved into the house as if she were marching in her own funeral, a mere soul of a girl wandering around with unfinished business. Bash’s eyes lingered on her as she quietly entered the house and let out a quiet sob. 

“Damn it, Blythe,” Bash spat angrily, throwing his rake into the soil. He leaned his face into the sun, drinking in all of its warm light. “Oh, I wish he would’ve listened to you, Mary.” 

Bash’s work in the garden had turned the humble plot of land into a creation fitting to honor his wife, but Anne had still not come from the house. She might’ve slid out of the back door, escaping into the solace of her beloved forests. But when Bash swung up the kitchen door, he found a quiet girl rocking his baby back and forth, smooth and steady like waves on a ship. Anne clung to Delphine, pressing her face in the baby girl’s hair and sniffled. When he called her name, she lifted her head and managed a smile. 

“Mind if I sit?” he asked gently. Anne shook her head, shaking Delphine on her knee. Across the table, he could see that her eyes were dry, but still red around the corner. Shiny streaks dried against her cheeks, but she’d stopped weeping some time ago. Bash searched for something to say, but Anne filled the silence by getting up to pour him a glass of water. She snuck a glance out the window before handing him the cup.

“The garden looks positively enchanting,” she complimented quietly. 

“Thank you very much. I took your advice about those little blue flowers. They’re very sweet.” He paused, tapping onto his glass. “Anne, what happened with you and Gilbert?” 

Anne’s eyes turned burst with panic. 

“Forget I asked!” Bash rushed. “I just wondered...Sometimes he barely tells me anything straight out.” 

At the counter, Anne turned her back to Bash and began stirring some of Delphine’s porridge over the stove. 

“There’s not much to tell. He came to me to tell me that Winifred’s parents were going to help him fulfill his dreams and he was considering proposing. Then he left.” 

Bash took a swig of his water, nearly slamming it back down on the table. 

“He said he asked you…” he trailed off. Maybe he shouldn’t be spreading around his brother’s business like this. 

“Asked me what?” Anne yelped, spinning around. Delphine let out a disapproving grunt. “He didn’t ask me anything.” 

“He didn’t?” Bash exclaimed. 

“I was admittedly a bit...inebriated, but of all the things he said to me, he never asked me anything,” Anne ranted. “He just said there was just one thing that was holding him back from going off with Winifred. And I...I didn’t know what to say! I rambled incoherently trying to gather my thoughts and then he left .” Anne finished with a bitterness in her tone that Bash hadn’t heard from her before. She sat at the table with a half-angry, half-heartbroken thud. “So no, he didn’t ask me anything.” 

Bash didn’t know what to say. How could he stand behind Gilbert, explain his behavior, when this force-of-nature of a girl struggled not to cry in their kitchen. He fought off the urge to drop his head into his hands, but for Anne’s sake, he bit the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t know why I thought he’d ever…” Anne swallowed, blinking furiously, determined not to cry. “I don’t have anything to offer him.” 

“That’s not true. Anne, everything that you are is more than that poor boy could ever deserve,” Bash argued immediately. He reached across the table, taking his fingers in hers. The freckles on the back of her hand looked like stars, and he gave a comforting squeeze. “For what it’s worth, I really, really wanted to be able to officially call you family. But no matter what happens, know this Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. On paper or no, you’re our family.” 

Anne’s blinked surprised, but her face crumbled seconds later. She bit her lip against the next onslaught of tears, chuckling with sobbing shudders as a few droplets dripped onto Dellie’s head. The peace of the moment was almost enough to soothe Anne’s aching heart, but the silence was interrupted by Bash’s mother calling from outside. 

“Mr. Blythe! We didn’t expect you home so soon! Come inside, come inside. Poor man must be tired!”  

Anne shot Bash a panicked expression,  and snatched her hand back to wipe away her tears. When Gilbert’s silhouette formed behind the kitchen door’s curtains, Anne shot to her feet and hid around the corner, just out of sight. She looked over, wondering if she could slip out one of the windows without making any noise. It was only when Delphine yanked at one of her loose tresses that Anne realized she had brought the baby with her. Tossing Delphine a desperate, over-exaggerated grin, she willed Delphine to stay quiet. Looked like she was staying put, at least until Gilbert went up to his room.

It was hard to tell what was happening. 

“You’re back early,” Bash commented, only slightly choking at the knowledge that Anne was hiding just out of sight. Gilbert didn’t answer, but Anne heard the clinking of something small and metal dropping onto the table. A ring ? 

There was a pause, then Bash said slowly, “She said no?” 

“ I said no,” Gilbert replied. A gasp almost escaped Anne’s lips, but she bit her tongue at the last second. “Why didn’t you wrap a chain around my ankle to keep me from going? I made such an ass of myself.”  

“You’re a grown man, Blythe. You can make your decisions without any influence from your brother. Besides, you asked me for my advice and you didn’t take it,” Bash teased, though the truth in his words was unmistakable. Gilbert only groaned in response. “Tell me about what happened.” 

There was a scraping off a chair as Gilbert sat down. 

“I took one look at Winifred and instead of saying Will you marry me like I planned, I said, I’m so sorry, I can’t keep courting you. If she hates me, I won’t be able to blame her. She wanted to know why.” 

“What’d you say?” 

“I told her why.” 

Anne wished she could peek around the corner and just get a glimpse of him. Maybe he was leaning back in his chair, curly hair unruly and throat exposed. An ache shot through her chest when she remembered that she had no right to be thinking about how handsome he was. Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder, was he disappointed the proposal hadn’t gone well? If she could just catch a glimpse of his face, she’d be able to tell right away. 

Silence settled on the room so thickly that Anne was surprised they both were still sitting there. But Gilbert needed time to process, and Bash was prepared to let him - even if it meant keeping Anne hiding behind the corner. Finally, Gilbert broke the silence.

“Sebastian, you were right,” he admitted lowly.

“About what?” 

“It’s always, always been Anne,” he admitted. Anne felt her heart plummet into her stomach, sending a million butterflies erupting from thin air. Was he saying what she thought he was.

“I’m the biggest fool I know,” Gilbert lamented.

“You’re the biggest fool I know, too,” Bash quipped light-heartedly. Anne imagined Gilbert glaring across the table, but his chair scraped as if he had jumped to his feet. 

“This is serious!” Gilbert scolded. “You know, there was this moment the other night when I went to see her. She was dancing up on this old dory pretending to be a pirate, and everyone was cheering. But you know what I saw?” 

“What, Blythe?” 

“Anne - with her hair down, the fire behind her, looking like the exact sight that nearly knocked me to my knees.” He paused, and Anne suddenly felt moisture on her face. Delphine reached out her tiny fingers and touched the dampness.

“I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even let her talk, I didn’t say what I wanted to say.” 

“What did you want to say?” 

“That I’m in love with her!” Gilbert burst. Anne nearly fell to her knees, with the shock of it. “Everything you said love is, everything you said it would feel like, it’s all there. I’ve known it since the day I met her. What have I been doing all this time?” 

Anne pressed her back against the wall, and leaned her head back. She couldn’t breathe . Gilbert Blythe was in his kitchen, confessing to his brother that he was in love with her and she wasn’t dreaming. Delphine gave another tug on her hair just to remind her. 

“It’s not about what you’ve been doing, Gilbert. It’s about what you choose to do now. ” 

“I haven’t had a chance to think that far yet,” Gilbert admitted. 

“Haven’t you?” Bash challenged. “Sounds like you’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”

Gilbert scoffed.

“I can’t expect her to listen to me. Not after everything I’ve put her through.” 

Bash let out an amused burst of laughter.  

“There’s the Gilbert Blythe I know. Congratulations on pulling your head out of your behind.” Gilbert swatted Bash. “Tell you the truth, I don’t think you have much to worry about.” 

“What makes you say-” 

It was at this precise moment that Delphine Lacroix let out an unexpected fit of giggles. Anne nearly jumped out of her skin, snapping back out of her thoughts to check and make sure Delphine hadn’t gotten into anything dangerous. But she was laughing as babies do, making Anne realize that Gilbert had stopped talking. With a deep breath, she rounded the corner and revealed herself. 

Gilbert’s face turned the same shade as Marilla’s rosebush and Anne wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or angry or both. Shame blanketed her under the soundless gazes of the Blythe-Lacroix men. She shouldn’t have listened so long, especially something so private. Lightning fast, Anne rambled out the first explanation she could think of.

“I didn’t mean to listen. I meant to leave when you came up the drive, but then I looked down and…” she bounced Delphine on her hip. Handing Bash his daughter, she wiped her sweaty palms on the skirts of her dress. “I’ll leave.” 

“Don’t,” Gilbert choked. Anne’s brows shot up, and she wondered if she’d ever remember how to breathe. 

“Alright,” she murmured. 

Bash looked back and forth between them, then rose from the table.

“I better let you two talk,” he said, heading out of the room. 

But Anne and Gilbert didn’t talk. They gazed at each other, minds dancing around the words they needed to say, but never actually coming to any worthwhile conclusions. Anne wasn’t accustomed to being left without her words, but the longer she said nothing, the more desperate and sad Gilbert’s hazel eyes grew. He’d said all he could. It was her turn now. 

Dizzy with her own affection and anxious that one wrong move could send them flying apart, Anne crept forward. Gilbert watched her eagerly. When she gently took his hands, a breathy sigh escaped his lips and blew against her hair. Her presence was a balm to him, and whatever had been weighing on his shoulders began to lift away. Lifting their joined fingers, Anne leaned her face onto the back of his hand, pressing a kiss to his soft skin. Gilbert swallowed, his eyes nearly misty in the sunlight.

“I wanted to tell you everything,” he whispered. “When I was feeling more like myself.” 

Anne shook her head, smiling. She didn’t need a storybook confession. She’d renounce all of her childlike ideals if it meant he loved her - and he did. Everything she needed to know, she could see peering up at him with teary, lovestruck eyes. 

“You really love me?” she murmured hopefully. Gilbert’s face split into a grin, and he tugged Anne into him. Her arms fell perfectly around his shoulders, her head resting on his shoulder as if it had always meant to lay there. He buried his face into her hair and tightened his hold.

“I do,” he promised into her ear. “I do.” 

A shocked sound escaped her lips - halfway between a laugh and a sob. She murmured something incoherent into the fabric of his shirt, so he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back. 

“What did you say?” he chuckled. Anne bit her lip and forced herself to tear her gaze off of the wooden floor. 

“I love you too,” she said. The words shot through Gilbert, and he brought his palm up to her face. “It’s so new to me, but it’s so clear. Everything you said, Gilbert, it’s all that way for me too.” 

“Really?” he choked. 

“Really. I just spent so much time thinking that I didn’t fit in your life, when really, you’re the only one who could ever fit in mine.” 

Her eyes the color of the sea right when the moon disappears into sleep. It made Gilbert want to run down to the shoreline with her and shout into the whistling wind cries of victory. Instead, he took a deep breath to calm his beating heart, but no amount of controlled breathing or caresses of her hand would ever be enough to quiet his joyful heart. He was so far lost in his thoughts, dizzy with bliss, that he didn’t notice the glint in Anne’s eyes change. One minute she was smiling bashfully at their entwined hands, the next she was just breaths away, bumping his nose with her own. He had leaned down like a magnet pulled to her, meeting her halfway. 

It was the closest they’d been together - so close that Anne could count the shades of blue hiding amongst the greens and browns of his eyes. Bringing her gentle touch to the sides of his face, she rose to her toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Gilbert dissolved under her touch, holding onto her waist for purchase. He grinned into her kiss, too happy to hold it in, smiling even wider when her lips beneath his beamed just as much. 

From the doorway, Bash peeked his head in and felt his heart rise up into his throat. Suddenly all the things that he’d wished his brother could have didn’t seem so far out of reach. Gilbert would go to school, he’d learn and his compassion for healing others would grow, but he’d do it all with Anne at his side. No one would love him as strongly, support him so fiercely, or keep him level-headed throughout the inevitable trials of life. 

Bash’s eyes fell to the emerald ring sitting on the table. Green had always been Anne’s color. Given time, he knew he’d see the day the ring was put to good use, adorning a hand of freckled constellations.

[rosieshipper]

Official welcome and info

Heya! Since Tumblr has pinned posts now I figured I make a little introduction post to this blog!

My name is Rose or Rosie, feel free to call me whichever you like! I’m 23, I’m a genderfluid demigirl with the pronouns she/her/they/them/any! I’m polyamorous and Panromantic asexual! A few facts about me is that I love writing and coffee basically runs through my blood, also what is sleep?

This is my self shipping blog! I use this blog to help cope with a lot of things and it’s mostly just a big comfort to me!

And if we happen to share f/os, don’t feel afraid to come gush to me about them! I’m totally ok with sharing!!

Also before anyone says anything, I want to make it fully clear that I don’t support mcu’s decisions to white wash Wanda when she is canonically Romani

Some general dnis: Lgbtqia+phobes, terfs, maps, proshippers, nsfw, anti self shippers, anti blm, racists, incest, abelists, zoophiles, pro life/anti choice, blue lives matter bullcrap, terfs, anti xenogender/neopronouns, support cringe culture, Andrew Tate supporters

Hope you guys enjoy my blog!!

[klynn-stormz]

Legally Swan

Chapter 5

Look at me posting two weeks in a row! And I even have a bunch of chapter 6 written, I am on a roll! Anyway, here is the next chapter of Legally Swan, let me know what you think :)

AO3: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5

She wasn’t sure where she was running too until she was inside the salon. It was roughly 10 minutes from campus, a smaller stand-alone building on the street, the outside showed age, but in a cozy homey way. It had a red brick front, cracked and washed from time, a cursive open sign with a smiley face hung on the inside of the door. Walking inside, the smell of nail polish, hair color, and rubbing alcohol immediately calmed her. The salon seemed frozen in time. Stuck in the unfortunate year of 1976, blue and white checkered tiles lay across the walls, the floor the same retro blue as the tile with a swirly design that, if stared at for too long, could make one throw up or faint. The ceiling was normal, save for the harsh florescent lights and one large globe light (it was a few shiny mirrors away from a disco ball). Emma loved all of it. No one came over to greet her, so she took it upon herself to find an available technician and sit down, hands out.

“A manicure please.” She sniffed, her heart was still hurting from the encounter with Neal and his fiancé.

“Rough day?” The technician quietly asked. Her black hair was cut into a cute pixie cut that complemented her jaw line. She had pale skin, nearly milk white, and rosy lips. Emma noticed how kind her chocolate brown eyes seemed as she began to soak Emma’s nails.

“You have no idea.” Emma sighed.

“Manicures are for getting all the bad out and keeping the good in. If you want to rant to me you can, it’ll make you feel better.” Her smile was shy and soft, warming Emma, who was in desperate need for a confidant and friend.

“Well get ready for an insanely stupid story. I’ll tell you as long as you promise to give me an honest answer on how stupid I am.” After the technician nodded, Emma began her story.

---

After about an hour or so, with her nails looking fantastic, Emma was finished speaking, now waiting for the technician to say something. The woman studied Emma’s nails, finishing up the hand massage and making sure there were no flaws.

“So, in conclusion, you followed your ex, who broke up with you because he thought you were to pretty and dumb to be with him, to Harvard. You wanted to prove to him you are pretty AND smart, and maybe he would take you back. But, instead, you find that you love the classes, met a super-hot smart British, lawyer in training, found your ex was a tool who cheated on you because you didn’t count, and has a bitchy fiance who looks like a goddess, dresses like she’s at a funeral, and has a vendetta against you for being here.”

Emma blinked. That was the perfect summary of everything that had happened.

“Um, yeah pretty much. Sound horrible hearing it from someone else.” She felt another pang of humiliation.

“Not horrible.” The woman smiled kindly, “You wanted to feel seen and loved.”

“How did you know that?” Emma asked, stunned. What was it with the random strangers she met here reading her so easily?

“I know a little bit about that. Had someone I thought I loved, he decided he didn’t love me and kicked me out. That wasn’t the worst part though! I could handle him making me leave, but he kept my dog.” She turned her sad gaze to a picture frame on the counter, it was a picture of a little golden retriever puppy.

“That’s horrible.” Emma glanced down at Henry, who was curled up in her purse, content to watch the goings on and his person. “I can’t imagine what I would do without Henry.”

The technician smiled softly, wistfully and agreed. “It’s been nine months and it still hurts to think about my poor pup with him. I hope he’s being treated right.”

“I’m so sorry, that is the worst. I’m Emma, by the way.” Emma introduced herself. Realizing she still didn’t know this woman’s name.

“It’s nice to meet you Emma, I’m Mary Margaret.”

---

They talked for a while, Mary Margaret decided to give him a full spa treatment—besides the manicure she was getting a facial and pedicure—so they could talk more. Emma felt like she had found a close friend in Mary Margaret, someone she could confide in and laugh with. It was in the middle of them talking about Emma’s encounter with Killian that a UPS delivery man walked in the door. The change in Mary Margaret was immediate. She stiffened and tried to hide behind her hair, seemingly forgetting her pixie cut. She must have had long hair at one point, and Emma made a note to ask her that story later. When she realized that hiding wasn’t working, she turned her back to face him and made herself busy sorting through her workstation, much to Emma’s bemusement.

In the meantime, she studied Mary Margaret’s reaction, she was definitely trying to hide from the delivery man. The man was glancing around the salon as he waited for signatures. When he saw Mary Margaret, he straitened up and a hopeful look came into his eyes. With a quick look at the receptionist, who was lagging on the signature, too busy on her phone to do much, he walked towards them. Emma was fascinated by the scene unfolding in front of her, she felt like she was watching a movie, on the edge of her seat to see what happened next.

“Mary Margaret!” The man greeted happily. “It’s been a long time, over a year, right?”

“David.” Mary Margaret greeted quietly, nervously moving to tuck her hair behind her ear, and blushing when she realized it was too short to do so. “How are you?”

“I’m great! Picking up extra shifts at the animal shelter still, and delivering packages in the meantime. How are you? Your hair is shorter than last time I saw you.” He paused, slight worry crossing his face. “Not that it doesn’t look good, I mean really you look amazing, not that you don’t always look amazing. I mean to say it’s a good look on you, not there there’s a look that’s bad on you, and I see that you’re still doing nails and hair. Oh, that’s not a bad think though! You were always fantastic at it, I just thought I’d see how you’re doing and say that it’s really good to see you, and now that I know you’re here maybe we could catch up sometime.” Emma could see all the nerves fluttering around him as he stumbled over his words.

“That would be um, yeah maybe sometime soon.”  Mary Margaret blushed again and looked at her work station. The receptionist called for David, finally having signed for the packages, and he somewhat reluctantly said his goodbyes and left.

Emma and Mary Margaret were silent for a moment. Then Emma broke it. “Soooo, what’s the story there?”

“No story!” Mary Margaret blurted out. “I mean I’ve known David since I was in eighth grade and we were friends for a little bit. Why? Did it look like there was a story?”

Emma chuckled at the nerves Mary Margaret was showing. “It definitely looks like there’s a story. He totally likes you, and you obviously like him. What’s holding you back?”

“It’s a really long story.” Mary Margaret started to brush it off, until she saw Emma’s skeptical expression and raised eyebrow. “Fine, we still have ten minutes left on your facial.”

It turned out to be a great story. Mary Margaret had met David when she was in eighth grade, right after he had moved to the area, and they had taken to each other quickly; though not before Mary Margaret had punched him in the face for making fun of her. They had started dating in tenth grade, when they both finally admitted how in love they were with the other. Unfortunately, David had an overbearing father that loved to control all aspects of his life, so, their senior year, he had forced David to breakup with Mary Margaret to date someone from a respectable background. David and Kathryn had dated for a few years, then gotten engaged. Mary Margaret had been devastated, naively thinking that David would jump ship at 18 to go back to her. When she heard the news, she had cried, gotten drunk and ended up sleeping with a good friend of David’s. She still couldn’t look Victor in the eyes after that.

David and Kathryn had been married for about five years before the gossip mill started turning about them not having kids and never being in public together. However, it wasn’t until their seventh year of marriage (nine years of being together), that they officially separated and divorced. Mary Margaret had always held out hope that true love, as she put it, would prevail. But it never did. Now whenever they saw each other there was this stilted awkward conversation, both desperately in love with the other yet so afraid to say it. The latter was an observation on Emma’s part, Mary Margaret convinced that David had no feelings for her anymore. She had met Lance three years before, not long after accepting that nothing would ever happen with David, and tried to move on with her life. When she saw David in town, she did everything she could to hide from him, hence him not having seen her for a year. Turned out that Mary Margaret was very stealthy.

Lance was everything she thought she deserved, and that wasn’t a good thing. Mary Margaret had grown up with a harsh step mother that belittled her and tried to control her. After the heartbreak that was David, a lot of her hold out confidence had vanished, she had found Lance, a man that played on her insecurities, verbally abused her on a daily basis, isolated her from friends and family, and when he got bored, threw her out of their house. So, there she was, without love, without family, without many friends, and without her precious dog.

Emma listened to all of this (the story well over 10 minutes by the end) with an abject sorrow and fascination. If she was being honest with herself (something that only seemed to happened when it wasn’t about herself) she found it much like the soap operas she would watch with her mother. So many interconnecting stories, all very dramatic, but in this case, no less real. She felt empathy for Mary Margaret, and felt a kindred bond. Both of them had gone through a lot, and now were trying to make themselves better. When Mary Margaret mentioned that she wished Lance would take her back, if only so she wouldn’t be so lonely at times, Emma spoke up.

“Don’t sell yourself short Mary Margaret, you deserve more than that kind of life. You deserve happiness with someone who loves you for you.” She wasn’t sure if that helped as Mary Margaret immediately teared up.

“Thank you, and don’t forget Emma.” She paused to compose herself. “You deserve the same. There’s always hope for a better future.”

---

Emma was thinking about that later that week. It was Friday night and she had gone through all of her classes with nerves and piles of homework to show for it. Her desk was currently piled high with her textbooks and books borrowed from the school library to study more. ‘You deserve the same’, Mary Margaret’s voice echoed as she reflected on her week. She knew deep down that she was right, and maybe that meant letting Neal go, but she still had to try right? She owed it to herself to keep going and to keep trying to be the best she could be.

Her phone rang on her nightstand. The cell itself was a standard phone, but the case was something else. Ana had given her the case for her birthday, saying Emma’s phone needed more personality. It was pink, fuzzy and sparkly. Honestly, Emma wasn’t quite sure where Ana had gotten it, but it must have cost a lot, but it made her smile when she saw it. The name on the screen made her smile even more, it was Rapunzel.

“Hey! I’ve missed you guys this week!” Emma said after she answered.

“Emma!!!” She heard at least three different voices screaming her name.

“Guess where we are?” Ana cried; her excitement almost visible through face-time. Emma couldn’t tell where they were, besides it being a clothing store.

“Where? Shopping?”

“I’m getting MARRIED!” Rapunzel screeched, coming into view on the phone in a white gown. She was jumping up and down so much that she ended up falling off the pedestal with a loud thump.

“What?” Emma asked, surprised. “To whom?”

“Oh my gosh, his name is Eugene and he is the most adorable guy ever. Emma you will love him!” Rapunzel was getting up off the floor, with some difficulty due to the tight mermaid style dress. “I met him like a month ago and he was this ‘bad boy’ going by Flynn, but he is the biggest sweetheart!”

“Wow, that’s crazy.” Emma wasn’t sure what to say, she didn’t even know who this guy was and Rapunzel had only known him for a little bit. Worry for her friend temporarily replaced her own issues.

“Don’t worry.” Ana whispered into the phone after Rapunzel went to try on a new dress. “I totally had one of my friends to a background check on him, Kristoff knows this guy who knows a cop. He came up clean, Eugene did that is. Kristoff did too, but well this isn’t about him. And I put him through my tests. You know the ones where I make R like an hour late to a date or call with and emergency to see how he would react. He passed! He even let R and I drag him shopping, he sat in the mall for like 3 hours for her. I had to have a talk with R because there was no way I was going to let her marry a man she just met, not after my Hans debacle, and of course you remember me telling you about my sister and how mad she was! Yikes. But I promise he’s good! Besides, if he’s not we know how to get rid of him and you can be my lawyer! Won’t that be fun?” By the end of Ana’s monologue Emma was laughing. She had missed her friends fiercely and hearing them made everything better.

She talked to both of them for a while longer, helping critique the wedding dressed and catching up on their lives. When she hung up, she laid on her bed a stared at the ceiling. Not for the first time, loneliness swelled in her heart. She was thousands of miles away from her mother, from her friends, from her life. She tried not to cry while thinking about her family, she had had to fight for it, but somehow, she got one. What was she doing so far away from it? Then she thought about the past week and how much she was enjoying her classes, sure she met a few bumps in the road, but what was that compared to doing something she knew in her soul would be a part of her life. While trying to dispel the melancholy she heard a soft knock came on her door.

Emma curiously moved to the door and opened it. On the other side stood a young woman in muted colors. Her hair was blonde and pin straight, she had kind blue eyes that gave away the nerves she was feeling, she wore a gray Harvard sweatshirt and simple black leggings. Shifting her hips, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before going for it.

“Hi, are you um, are you Emma Swan?” She asked shyly, her eyes moved to a point out of Emma’s vision, before returning to hers.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Emma responded.

“Hi, yeah, I’m um Ashley.”

“Hi.” Emma was confused as to why she was at her door. She had met a few of the girls in the dorm but they were all busy with classes, so there wasn’t much of a chance to socialize with them.

“So, with it being the new semester and all, a few of us wanted to get together and have a party. You know, one more before the year gets crazy.” She laughed, but it was a high pitch nervous laughter that set Emma on edge, especially when her eyes once again moved to a point out of Emma’s field of vision.

“A party? That sounds fun.” Emma said slowly, wondering what was going on.

“Yeah, it’s going to be very fun. And well I wanted to invite you. I know it’s your first year and I wanted to make you feel welcome.” Ashley stumbled over her words a bit, her eyes darting between Emma and the unknown point. “It’s going to be tomorrow and well, here’s the address.” She shoved a piece of paper into Emma’s hand.

“Um, yeah that sounds fun. I’ll definitely be there.” She was still wary about the whole thing, but a party might help her get a little bit of the homesickness gone.

“Oh!” Ashely paused and gulped. “I almost forgot one thing.”

“Yeah?” Emma’s lie detector was flashing red in her mind.

“It’s a costume party!” Ashley tried for excitement but her voice squeaked out, breaking. “You know, something to really help everyone let loose before the whole semester.”

“A costume party?” Emma echoed.

“Yup, so have fun with a costume, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Ashley practically ran away as soon as the sentence finished.

Emma took a moment to take in what just happened. She leaned casually on her door frame and moved her head minutely to see what Ashley had been glancing at, or in this case, who. Tamara stood at the end of the hall, smirking towards Emma, a trembling Ashely next to her. Emma pretended to look at the address on the slip of paper while her mind raced. Then all at once everything calmed and a grim determination settled in her. She wasn’t going to be put off by this, she was going to show them she didn’t care what they thought of her

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG141, once again abridged edition because What The Heck Is This Month on my side /o/

- Fun little thing: it was precisely as he was talking about Mikaele Salesa’s ties with the Institute (and the fact that some items in Artefact Storage were bought from him) that Jon spotted the spider in MAG038, leading to the discovery of the worm invasion and the  Prentiss attack overall. As usual when spiders are involved: was that a coincidence, or fucking not.

Anyway: it’s interesting how, between MAG115 (the statement that Salesa himself gave in 2007) and MAG141 (Floyd’s statement about his last year working under him), Salesa turned to sounding… more tragic, almost sympathetic? (I said “almost”: I’m not forgetting how easily he was throwing people overboard, or the fact he allowed people to get their hands on items that would hurt them or other people… although yeah, technically, he was leaving them to deal with what they had asked for.) With only MAG141, it sounded like he was someone stuck in Spooky, pursued by spooks and never able to escape them ever since he’d worked with Leitner:

(MAG141) FLOYD: He was tired. Everyone could tell. The man had been doing this job non-stop as long as any of us could remember, and he was clearly starting to feel it. Once found him pouring over an old photo album. The ship was there in the pictures, but a different captain, different crew. I asked him who they were, and he just looked at me, eyes sunken like hadn’t slept, and for a second I felt like he was seeing someone else, not me. But then he just shrugged. “Dead now,” he said, “doesn’t really matter.” […] This time, though… felt different. He was distant, quiet. His words, when he spoke to you at all, were blurred with alcohol and regret. Nobody knew what the plan was, so we just kept going.

(Can’t help but think about Leitner, Gertrude or Jon, here: being the sole survivor of their little circle, because everyone else… slowly got killed or sacrificed around them, whether they took an active part in their circle’s demise or just watched them as they all died off one by one…?)

- Small similarities, between Salesa’s own statement (MAG115) and Floyd’s description of him (MAG141)! Salesa was indeed the only one to deal with the merchandise during the journey, and installed the rule in 1999, and we know why:

(MAG115, Mikaele Salesa) “You see, in this game there are a few rules it’s a good idea to keep to if you’re looking to stay alive. One of my mine, is that only I take stock of the merchandise. You want to know how I came by this rule? I know you do.”

(MAG141) FLOYD: Way the others talked about it, he’d been at this for a long time, decades at least, and when I sailed with him it was clear he knew exactly what he was doing. He was the only one ever allowed in the cargo bay during a voyage.

And overall, if Floyd said that the crew trusted Salesa… it wasn’t one-sided, at all (especially when it involved throwing people overboard.):

(MAG115, Mikaele Salesa) “His movements were clumsy, like a drunk, and even at his best I’ve killed worse than Cook. He went down easy. That’s another good thing about having a crew you can trust. They tossed him overboard, and cleaned up without asking any sort of prying questions.”

(MAG141) FLOYD: He never lied to us about the sort of thing he was into. He didn’t exactly volunteer specifics, but we all knew what we were doing wasn’t legal, and we trusted him because he knew what he was doing. […] Salesa was a big guy, you know, but he never really made anything of it. He always used to say he needed a crew to follow him out of trust, not fear. But he didn’t have a problem using his size against Jésus when he found him. He threw the little rat overboard without a second’s hesitation, and there was nobody on that ship unhappy he did it. They’d all seen what could happen when someone else got in the cargo bay.

- We know that Salesa was one of Jurgen Leitner’s assistants for a time, but took off before his library was attacked (so before 1994), and that he had left with a copy of Leitner’s clients list, that he first dealt in “regular” illegal antiques before beginning to accept dealing with spooky items, out of greed, though avoiding books; he was already in the nautical Spook business in autumn 1999, when “Cook” grew fond of the Flesh-related meat grinder (MAG115). On January 19th 2000, Vincent Yang got imprisoned in an old (Buried-related) wooden box from Salesa’s stock, and was freed by Peter Lukas (MAG066). Salesa gave (“another”) written statement to Gertrude/the Institute/Elias? on January 4th 2007, after a Slaughter weapon bought from him caused damages, and Jon mentioned that some items from Artefact Storage have been purchased from him (MAG115). In the spring of 2010, he bought Neil Thompson’s “totem” syringe, which had likely been protecting Thompson from The Corruption and/or unleashed a Corruption curse on him when he sold it (MAG045). He tried to sell something to Paul Noriega in May 2011 (MAG014), contained in “a square wooden crate” by four men, although they didn’t settle on a price. He was the one to sell/give The Spiral pot from the Jiajing period to Andre Ramao in March 2012 (MAG038). He was transporting a (Spiral? Stranger?) rug when it attacked Gantulga in 2014, prompting him to apparently try to stop/flee from that life, taking on one last mission to would retrieve “an old camera with a broken lens” from an island (MAG141). Jon had already pinpointed that Salesa had apparently disappeared in 2014, back in season 2:

(MAG045) ARCHIVIST: […] I’ve been having a word with Rosie about whether we can make contact with him. Apparently, he hasn’t been seen for almost two years now, with rumours in the trade running through everything from “he had a quiet retirement” to “he’s trying to dodge a jail sentence” or even “he was shot dead in Columbia for stealing a priceless artefact from a drug lord”. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t look like he’ll be answering questions any time soon, though I have urged Rosie to keep trying.

Which was now kind of confirmed by Floyd Matharu, who worked with Salesa from 2011 to 2014 (MAG141) – according to his story, Salesa is presumably dead, although Floyd himself didn’t see anything directly and the most direct witness is already dead:

(MAG141) FLOYD: I didn’t hear the explosion myself. Dantez told me about it, as it had apparently woken him and a few others of the crew. A big explosion, they said, further into the port. […] We were still stood there, arguing amongst ourselves about what to do, when Captain Gaultier made his dramatic reappearance. His clothes were torn and his hair matted with blood. […] Some tried to ask the captain about Salesa, but he just shook his head. He wasn’t making much sense. We managed to gather the two of them had left early to deliver the artefact, but something had gone wrong. There had been an argument. They had been betrayed. Salesa was dead. The captain died soon after; the shrapnel trapped in his skull finally getting the better of him.

So, hum. Suspicious death, no body found, still not sure whether he’s still alive or not.

- Salesa was acquainted with the Institute, made a few phone calls, and officially died in an explosion… so had he made a deal with Gertrude? In which case, did she indeed betray him, or hide his escape? (It would seem… very “kind” from Gertrude, though.) Using him to retrieve a spooky item before discarding him sounds ruthless and not totally un-Gertrude, so…

Of course, big creature under the sea sounds like a Vast thing, so I wonder if the thing with the island was The Vast’s ritual attempt? We’re still missing… everything about that one (date, place, name, people involved). And was the camera lens related to them, or to Beholding, or to The Dark? Why was Jon interested in that statement in particular – because of the mystery of Salesa’s disappearance, or because of the island, or because of the camera lens…? We did have multiple occurrences of cameras or lenses being used around Dark activities:

(MAG009, Julia Montauk) “Asking him about it, my father told me he had been trying to learn photography, but didn’t trust developers not to ruin his films, as he’d apparently had problems before. I suggested he make himself a darkroom for developing them himself. […] There were no photos stored there. To this day I don’t know where my father kept his developed pictures. But there were about a dozen images hung out to dry. They’re still vivid in my mind – black and white and… washed in the deep red of the darkroom. Each photo was of a person’s face, close up and expressionless, their eyes were dull and glassy. I had never seen corpses before, so didn’t really understand what I was looking at. On each face were thick black lines that, formed these symbols that I didn’t recognise – but they were clearly drawn on the faces themselves, not just on the photographs. I don’t remember the symbols in any great detail, I’m afraid, just the faces that they were drawn onto, though they weren’t people I recognised. Nor did they match any of the photos the police showed me later.”

(MAG057, Carter Chilcott) “At some point on the first day, I remembered the camera. I focused my attention on it and began to scream, and shout for help in the vain hope that someone might be watching a feed of it and might be able to make contact. I cried, and begged, and pleaded with that camera for almost four hours, before I was suddenly struck by a terrifying thought. I floated over to it, and gently took hold of the cables that fed, out from the back into the wall. I followed them along, looking for where they connected to the power or broadcasting apparatus. What I found instead were a pair of neatly severed wires – transmitting nothing, powering nothing, connected… to nothing. The camera had never even been turned on, and had certainly not been transmitting anything to Earth. So what data had they been collecting? I still have no idea the answer to that question, but I did feel like I gained some… small sliver of control back after spending an… all-too-brief hour smashing up the camera.”

(MAG063, Erin Gallagher-Nelson) “It’s always been me and Luke Nelson – he was my wife’s brother, and did all the lighting for our shoots. At least, until he was… eaten by the darkness, last week. […] Then the scraping came again, now from the other direction and I sank to the floor, clutching my camera to my chest like some sort of protective talisman. It was silent, once again. […] Somewhere in my mind, I remembered… the flash of my camera, and my fingers instinctively flipped the switch. As I pressed the button, the screaming stopped with a wet snap, and for the worst moment of my life, an explosion of light shot through the darkness. […] It was the rector of St. Paul’s, and a small group of what I assumed to be parishioners. […] The rector was very understanding, though I wasn’t making much sense. He spoke soft words of reassurance, brought me out into the sick pale blue of dawn, and called an ambulance to look me over. I didn’t get his name, and it was only after I’d reached the hospital I realized he had taken my camera.”

And we know that a company involved in the Daedalus project, Optics Solutions Ltd, was based in Ny-Ålesund and specialised in cameras. It’s one of the numerous companies reportedly tied to The Dark, along with Outer Bay Shipping and D.K.N. Systems:

(MAG025) ARCHIVIST: Also of note, the words “Ny Alesund”. I don’t know for sure if Mr. Bilham remembered them correctly, but Tim pointed out that Ny-Ålesund is actually a small town in Norway. In fact, except for research installations, it is the most northerly human settlement on Earth, located at a latitude of North 78°55′30″. It is a company town, owned and operated by Outer Bay, but what it has to do with Mr. Bilham’s account is anyone’s guess. Assuming it isn’t all… coincidence. That far north… during the winter… nights can last for a very long time… Mm.

(MAG057) ARCHIVIST: Tim was, however, able to get a list of the businesses involved in the venture. Three names stand out: “Pinnacle Aerospace”, majority owned by the Fairchild family; a large private investment by Nathaniel Lukas; and “Optics Solutions Ltd”, a relatively benign-seeming company manufacturing specialist cameras for research and industrial application, who are nonetheless notable for having their business address listed as being in Ny-Ålesund, in Norway.

(MAG073) BASIRA: The building was in an industrial complex up in Harringay. It was a two storey brick building, with a weathered sign claiming it belonged to “Outer Bay Shipping”. […] ARCHIVIST: I can’t help but feel I’ve got the last chapter of a story and I… don’t even know the title. At least I hope it’s the last chapter. I still can’t find much about the company “Outer Bay Shipping”. Looks like a shell corporation, but tracking corporate ownership is not something I’m skilled at.

(MAG106, Jan Kilbride) “[Manuela Dominguez’s] research was kept entirely separate from mine, and while we spent plenty of time together, I never did figure out exactly what it was. Something to do with lasers, I think. […] She said she’d felt the station shake, bu–ut when I pressed, she… claimed she hadn’t heard anything. Her eyes were red and I noticed for the first time that the tips of her fingers were burned.”

(MAG109) JULIA: Sometimes, a start-up would make it big, but usually it was the inevitable bankruptcy that moved them out. All except “D.K.N. Systems”. I never really figured out what it was they were meant to be doing; something full of meaningless buzzwords, like “business networks” or “media solutions”. Thinking about it, it might actually have been “Business media network solutions.” Point is, there didn’t seem to be anything suspicious about them. At least not at first. […] There was only one of them that ever spoke – at least to me. A young guy called [Vardan Darvish]. He seemed to be the manager, at least as much as there was any clear structure. And unlike his colleagues, he seemed happy, almost eager, to talk. […] TREVOR: I’d been tracking Darvish for a good few weeks by then. There’d been a couple of homeless I knew gone missing around Parrs Wood, where I were keeping back then. […] Third night, I spotted him at work, taking a delivery. It were a big truck for some company called “Outer Bay”. I tried to follow them up since, but didn’t find much.

So, mmmm. Lot of lenses, and still the mystery of… Robert Montauk’s photographs.

- In the same way, there is the year of Salesa’s death/disappearance… Because 2014 (and 2015) were definitely activity-heavy for The Dark: in MAG141, Salesa was revealed to have officially “died” in 2014, after retrieving the camera lens. In MAG063, Erin Gallagher-Nelson and Luke Nelson had an encounter with creatures(or followers?) of the Dark underneath St. Paul’s Church, on the night between March 25th and 26th 2014. In MAG135, Manuela Dominguez left her statement on July 14th 2014, announcing that The Dark and Maxwell Rayner were ready for their ritual and challenging Gertrude to stop them. In MAG025, Mark Bilham recounted the events at the Hither Green Dissenters Chapel, involving followers from the People’s Church of the Divine Host on March 11th 2015, and Jon added that a scream was heard on the evening of May 15th 2015 (the day Gertrude passed away according to the “official file”, although in MAG040 Elias reported the blood in Gertrude’s office and her disappearance to have occurred on March 15th).

So whether there is actually a direct connection or not, it’s still a bit suspicious that Salesa disappeared in the timeframe he did…

(- Thinking again about how both Jon and Tim had specifically mentioned that they had watched what was happening during their first spooky encounter, and how they both ended up in the Institute and Beheld, it’s interesting to note that Floyd:

(MAG141) FLOYD: Something began to break the surface as I realised the deep rumble was no longer the thunder, and I closed my eyes and fell to the deck, gripping the rail with all my might as a wave hit us from behind, propelling us away from it.

… precisely closed his eyes. Not everyone would watch, as their childhood bully is snatched by Mr. Spider, or as their brother or what’s left of his skin is played with again.)

- Interestingly, Basira had said that she would book the trip, and now it turns out that Jon changed their plans?

(MAG140) ARCHIVIST: So what’s the plan? BASIRA: I’m getting us passage on a boat heading up there. ARCHIVIST: … Right.

(MAG141) BASIRA: What the hell was that?! ARCHIVIST: He had information about Salesa. I thought it would help. BASIRA: Is that why you were so keen on this ship? ARCHIVIST: I wasn’t sure; just had a hunch there was something here. BASIRA: And what? You thought the best way to find it was by… slurping it out of his brain?

… So it looks like Jon now has a radar for people with spooky stories. To quote Tim in MAG114: “Fan–tastic”.

- AND ONCE AGAIN… about how Jon Behaved and… compelled someone to do things (to give his statement, then to leave and get some rest):

(MAG141) BASIRA: Jon, I’m not sure about this. ARCHIVIST: I am. Tell me what happened. [STATIC INCREASES] FLOYD: W–what…? What is this? ARCHIVIST: Whenever you’re ready. FLOYD: A–a–alright. [STATIC DECREASES] … Sure… [SILENCE] He… he–he w–was a good boss, you know?

[…] ARCHIVIST: It’s alright, Floyd. You just… [STATIC INCREASES] need a break! FLOYD: … Yeah. [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] Sure. [RINGING FOOTSTEPS DEPART]

… I’m just baffled about how Web Jon sounded here?! Especially since MAG134 (with Peter making the distinction between The End being passive, and The Extinction being active), I’ve been wondering about the possibility that Beholding and Web were a bit like that initially, having emerged from the same “shade” (Beholding passive/Web active), or on the contrary that they might be merging now with the rise of technology and surveillance society… And once again, mMMMMMmmm, it’s. Definitely strange. There is also the fact that The Web sent Oliver to wake up Jon (supposedly in order to push him to choose to become a Beholding avatar?!); the fact that Jon is unable to tell the details of his coma (he knows he made a “choice”, to become inhuman in order to avoid dying, but hasn’t been able to provide more specifics), and there is his childhood connection with The Web…

Though: there was static, too, when Elias hired Melanie in MAG084, specifically when he asked her whether she wanted to work in the Archives. So. That’s another kind-of similarity between what Elias did, and what Jon is currently doing. (Or is it that, like Elias, Jon is now able to put thoughts in someone’s mind, and that’s what he did to Floyd? But even that sounds awfully Web, if it’s about getting someone to do something by getting into their head… Once again, what the heck is happening re:Spiders at the Institute and around Beholding agents…)

- ;; I’m especially SAD about what happened to Floyd since… he specifically wanted to stop thinking about what had happened to him. And here he is.

(MAG141) FLOYD: My last voyage with him was the one that killed him. [Four] years ago; I still have nightmares sometimes. Tried to escape it, but some things follow you no matter where you go. A smarter person might have stayed off the water, but this job, it’s all I’ve ever really known. So here we are. […] I’ve gone over that memory so many times, trying to think what I might have missed, but even now, whenever I think of it, it just looked like an old camera with a broken lens. […] And I have tried, ever since then, to leave those memories behind me.

Doomed to get the nightmares.

Curiously, Lucia had also mentioned to Gertrude that she was already having nightmares – and Gertrude knew she would get them too.

(MAG130) LUCIA: H… uh. Will it help? GERTRUDE: I’m sorry? LUCIA: Telling my story. To you. Will, will it help with the nightmares? GERTRUDE: If that’s your primary goal, my dear, I would suggest you speak to a qualified counsellor. We can suggest one, if you like; that said, I do believe most people find the process of giving a statement to be rather… mm, cathartic. And whatever nightmares your experience has left you with, I’m sure they won’t be bothering you much longer. […] GERTRUDE: Sad about the loss of history but Miss Wright didn’t seem to think the old Gnostic church got many visitors anyway. I’m honestly impressed she had the strength to get through it, even if she does seem to have been… deeply affected by it. Shame about the dreams; I would avoid them if I could.

So does someone need to have nightmares for them to be “given” to the Archivist? Or are they different things, “normal” nightmares due to trauma vs. spooky nightmares due to the Archivist extorting the statement from someone?

- Overlook of season 4, time-wise:

MAG121 (+MAG122?): February 15th 2018 MAG123: February 17th (“Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.”) MAG124: February 24th~ (“It’s been a week and… Melanie’s attitude towards me hasn’t softened.”) MAG125: ? MAG126: ? MAG127: ? MAG128: 3rd March MAG129: ? MAG130: 17th~ March (Gertrude recording; “It’s been two weeks since I heard from Basira”) MAG131: 20th March MAG132: 24th March (given that Jon has been in the coffin for three days, either 21 to 24th, or 24 to 27th?) MAG133: ? MAG134: ? (Martin, chronologically after the coffin things) MAG135: ? MAG136: at the very least two weeks after MAG132 (since Jon hasn’t seen Daisy in his dreams “for the last couple of weeks”) MAG137: ? (Gertrude recording) MAG138: ? (Martin) MAG139: ? MAG140: one day after MAG139; end of May 2018 (“Summer solstice is the 21st of June. So we leave in a fortnight, and should arrive about a week before.”) MAG141: June 11th 2018 (two days before arrival)

… So: Jon’s average rhythm tends to be around one statement a week, and it was… more intense before the coffin, and then it just slowed the heeeck up. After MAG132, from March 24th to June 11th excluded (MAG141), he only recorded five statements, so roughly one every other week… and he hadn’t recorded one for 15+ days between MAG140 and MAG141, when he just… jumped on Floyd.

(And surely, he wouldn’t have been stupid enough to not have packed written statements…? So why didn’t he record any in the timelapse…?)

- Aaaaand I’m especially horrified by the fact that:

(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: He didn’t exactly seem inclined to volunteer the information. Besides, you said I needed to be ready for Ny-Ålesund. BASIRA: [SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: “Full power”, I believe were your words. The statement helped.

… is the same kind of logic we had seen with Manuela talking about her “Fear Battery” (MAG135). (And yeah, Basira also didn’t seem to be seasick anymore after the statement. Which could be due to the adrenalin/revulsion rush or… because Beholding.)

- Alright, so. The biggest thing for me was clearly Jon in this episode. As in “What the hell, Jon” (and/or “What the hell is happening”).

I… have a lot of trouble taking Jon’s behaviour in this episode at Face Value; and I don’t know if I can still hold on with the wishful thinking that it’s not as bad as it looked, or if… it is like That, and kind of “over” for Jon. At the very least, Basira seemed scandalised so we might get more insight into Jon’s behaviour, whether it’s a call-out or special measures taken to shackle him or someone clearly expressing that “Jon, no”. He was… flat. Almost casual. Just barely softer at some points, but mostly Elias-sounding (really reminding me of how Elias had treated Melanie in MAG106: fake concern and softness and benevolence, offering her the afternoon off when he had been the one to wreck her). And the thing that that threw me off the most wasn’t so much what Jon did, but how… casual he was about the whole thing, without berating himself or having some moral dilemma about it afterwards…? As if it was a logical and natural thing to do…?

See: Jon behaved in this episode the way I feared he would be when he would wake up from his coma – taking what he needs, without caring much about the fear and pain he spreads, as long as it feeds him/feeds what feeds him. And then, season 4 rolled out, and it wasn’t the case at all! Jon expressed, multiple times, that although he was aware of being different, he was still feeling many things: he even expressed empathy for victims and disdains for the spooks that terrorise them…

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: No notes or follow-up here that I can see, just… [SIGH] It looks like the statement came in just after Gertrude disappeared. Another gap. And whoever took it didn’t do any follow-up, just… filed it away. I may be the first person to actually read it, so… sorry Angie, I suppose.

(MAG124) ARCHIVIST: Simon Fairchild is one of the… recurrent figures that I think disquiets me the most. Not simply for what he does, the endless spaces of highs or depths to which he’s so quick to condemn his victims, but… the joy he seems to take in doing so. And I don’t think there is much to this tale beyond that: an evil man tormenting and killing simply for his own pleasure, and to feed the power that sustains him.

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: A “Great Twisting”, that Gertrude stopped at the cost of a single life. … I thought… moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… but it just makes me sad…

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Hm. “Jonah Magnus”. I’ve never really given much thought to him. Not nearly as much as I should have. I suppose I had always hoped there was a chance he was… innocent, in all this. I know, I know! But I had… [EXHALE] I had just… hoped that maybe the founding of the Institute was in earnest. And not simply the foundation stone for all the terrible things that have happened here. … But no. Whatever is happening now… has its origins two hundred years ago. In the work of an evil man.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I just– I worry. You’re working for someone… really bad! MARTIN: Yes, I’m not an idiot, Jon, but it’s no… worse than working for something really bad, so… ARCHIVIST: At least, The Eye hasn’t gone after our own. Lukas has vanished two people!

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: With one or two notable exceptions, the only statements the Institute receives are those where the witness has… successfully escaped whatever terrible place or being has marked them for a victim. … I wonder how many don’t make it out. How many of those shapes in the water were once just like Mr. Shakya. Hm. Or perhaps I shouldn’t wonder. [HUFF] Even as I say it, I can feel the knowledge, pushing in my mind. Eager to find a way in. But I don’t want it. I don’t want to know. … I don’t want to see. … No more than I wanted to see how Gertrude stopped The Buried and their ritual, but that came to me as well. [HUFF] They called it “Sunken Sky”! And she calculated, correctly, that casting a void-touched body down The Pit at the right time would be enough to disrupt it. Something she found in… Jan Kilbride. … But Gertrude also realized that the body need not be alive. Or in one piece. She thought it was a mercy. It wasn’t.

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: I… heard someone. He was begging for me to save him. Said he couldn’t breathe. … I can barely breathe. I couldn’t find him. But I am… n–not here for him. I don’t even know him. I can’t… I can’t see… anything here… for all this… this place closes around me, I… I feel adrift. Like nothing can get through the dirt, and the muck, and–

(MAG135) ARCHIVIST: Is locking [the coffin] up the right thing to do? There are other people in there. And Daisy and I got out, but– … No, I, uh… I can’t think about that. Even if I could somehow be sure of recreating our escape, I–I can’t save everyone that’s been taken. I–It’s not my job to try, I– And I can’t spend another three days in there, I just… I need to let it go.

He was sad and horrified about Jan Kilbride; he didn’t sound onboard with Gertrude’s methods at all. He expressed that he was feeling so, so many doubts, about himself and what he had to do:

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: They can be hard, though, sometimes, oth–other people… feelings. I’m… I’m… I’m trying to focus. Trying to make sure I’m the same me as before, but… how can anyone really remember that? How do you know… you’re the same person that went to sleep…? […] BASIRA: Me first. What are you? ARCHIVIST: … Honestly… I don’t know. I don’t feel… inhuman, or… … I want to say I’m the same. But I don’t… really know if that’s true. I know I’m different. I feel… more real, somehow. BASIRA: So what does that actually mean? ARCHIVIST: Probably nothing good.

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: [STATIC] Look, I don’t know, Basira. I hope I’m still human, but it… but it’s seeming more and more unlikely. BASIRA: … I didn’t ask. ARCHIVIST: No, I suppose you didn’t. […] I’m sorry Basira, I–I will try to keep anything I learn about you to myself. My priorities haven’t changed; I hope you can believe that. [SIGH] I’m still on your side. You can trust me.

(MAG131) HELEN: Not this again. I’m not “wearing” anything, Archivist. I am at least as much Helen Richardson as you are the Jonathan Sims that first joined this institute. Things change. People change. It happens. ARCHIVIST: … We’re not “people”, though, are we? Not anymore. HELEN: Names, categories… it’s all so important to you, isn’t it? You do know none of it is actually real. It’s all just… meaningless boxes.

(MAG132) DAISY: Realised what was happening then. Realised you weren’t human. Needed to die, as soon as it was safe. Never mind Elias and his… insurance. ARCHIVIST: And now? DAISY: Don’t know. I miss dreaming. Y–you don’t sleep… down here. ARCHIVIST: Daisy… you should know I’m… If I wasn’t human before, I’m, uh… I’m even less now. DAISY: Yeah. Well. At the moment, I don’t care…

He understood people’s stance and wariness towards him. He highlighted that he was still feeling fear, sadness, concern. We got glints of guilt, of melancholy:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: Melanie, Melanie: it’s… it’s me. MELANIE: Oh! Okay, so what, “Hi Jon, how are you, get anyone killed lately?” ARCHIVIST: … I… MELANIE: Wipe that look off your face. Like you’re not the reason all of this is happening. Like you’re any better than– ARCHIVIST: [MESSY STUTTERING] MELANIE: –than him! ARCHIVIST: Basira said Elias was gone!

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: I have no theories on it, no… no sudden insights. [SIGH] I wish I could talk it through with Martin. … Or Tim. [SHORT SAD CHUCKLE] Or Sasha. But we never really did that, did we…? … Everything’s changed. … [SIGH] Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: I’ve been… trying to check on Melanie’s condition. She refuses to see me – understandably, I–I suppose, and Basira has been looking after her. [SIGH] It hurts, of course, but… [SIGH] I really hope getting that bullet out of her helps. At least… stops it from getting any worse. I can’t have been too late again.

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: Wish me luck…! … Although I suppose if you’re hearing this, then I… I didn’t have any. I don’t know. I’m… I’m scared. [SHORT CHUCKLE] When does the fear go away…? A–anyway, I–I’m sorry. You too, Basira, if you’re hearing this. I know you’d… stop me. You’d be right to, but… But if this goes wrong, all you lose is– …  I’m not risking anyone else. And I know– … I–I think… I can get her out.

(MAG135) ARCHIVIST: […] they can’t wait until they don’t have to talk to me anymore. Can’t honestly say I blame them, none of this is easy. Everyone’s just trying to get through as best they can. Living one day at a time. [SIGH] But I can’t afford to be just living one day at a time, I need… a plan. But I don’t even know what I’m trying to achieve… And no one… no one wants to tell me.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection [CHUCKLE] between free will and humanity. Still trying to figure that out myself. […] DAISY: You need to stop swanning around, being all sad. ARCHIVIST: I’m, I’m not “swanning around”– DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster!” ARCHIVIST: I am alone, Martin is– DAISY: Busy. doing. paperwork. Not like he’s dead. Beside, he’s not the only other person here, you know. There’s me; Melanie; Basira– ARCHIVIST: Traumatised; traumatised; and paranoid, because of me. DAISY: Get over yourself! You’re always talking about choices – we all made ours.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Why were we chosen? Agnes was created – crafted with a specific purpose so finely tuned that even a grain of uncertainty threatened the entirety of her being. [CHORTLING] But I’m so full of doubt it feels like there’s no room for anything else, and… I’m sure Martin is the same…! Is there “destiny” here? B–bloodlines and… prophecies, or did we just… stumble into this? Maybe we’re the opposite of Agnes; maybe our doubts are exactly what we need. I–if that’s the case, I’m a… an amazing chosen one. … [LONG EXHALE] Don’t know how that would work, though. … [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine.

And it’s been a constant throughout season 4! Nothing “bad” recently happened to sharpen him or to make him change his mind like this! The last time he went into a tangent about, precisely, his still having to bear all these “feelings” was two episodes ago! And nothing life-threatening happened to the assistants on his watch, no near-death accident which could have made him… change his mind and adopt that “the end justifies the means” attitude that he was strangely deadpan about in MAG141. Jon knows what the dreams do. When he apparently cracked the code, he seemed to been keen on avoiding further cases:

(MAG113) ARCHIVIST: I’m not too concerned, to be honest, my dreams are, uh… well, let’s just say I don’t think they’re going be letting anyone else in any time soon.

(MAG115, Mikaele Salesa) “So I suppose if it’s a statement you’re wanting… it’s no inconvenience to me. I don’t sleep well anyway.”

(MAG132) DAISY: I realized you were in my dreams. Reliving t… this. The coffin. You were there. ARCHIVIST: … Yes. DAISY: Didn’t think it was real. Not really… Just my mind putting you there, because I h–hated you but… no.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: And you’re not… worried about… DAISY: Basira’s trapped here. So are you. Not like I can be going anywhere anyway. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose not. So… no more dreams. DAISY: Not of you and your weird eyes. Just the coffin. ARCHIVIST: Is that better…? DAISY: ’T’s mine. ARCHIVIST: … right.

It’s not just nightmares for the victims – it’s a loss of control, it’s something that could potentially wreck their lives and reduce their lifespan. It’s not just “a few bad dreams”:

(MAG141) BASIRA: And now he’s going to see you in his dreams as he relives that for the rest of his life! ARCHIVIST: [INHALE SHARPLY] BASIRA: Because… because a tape recorder told you to do it?! ARCHIVIST: Yes, Basira, he is. And I am sorry about that. But we needed it. Anyway: you’re the one who wants to be like Gertrude. [SILENCE] You think she’d give a damn about a few bad dreams?

True, Jon has already taken live-statements in season 4, but under specific circumstances: he neutralized Breekon when he was ready to fight with Basira (MAG128), and took Jared’s statement to know more about the fact that his attack on the Institute had been orchestrated by someone else, as part of a deal offered by Jared (MAG131). Both cases were known multiple murderers and in urgent situations (both Breekon and Jared were capable of wrecking him) – and he even wrote down Breekon’s statement rather than speaking it outright. It had… nothing to do with forcing someone who, all right, had dealt in illegal business in the past but hadn’t killed anyone as far as we know and wasn’t a spook himself, to give a story that he was adamant to forget about! It’s not even a natural evolution (small steps would require some urgency or no other option), it’s going from 1 to 10 with no apparent incentive…? Jon had just checked that they still had two days on the boat. He could have chosen the (still very morally reprehensible) option to blackmail the guy through compulsion (like he did with Kurt in MAG103), in order to get his written statement…? There were other options than this!

So what is happening? Because I trust Jonny to destroy me emotionally, yes, but this was… so abrupt, so I still have trouble taking it at face value, I still feel like there must be something happening to explain the complete turn-over that Jon did between MAG140 and MAG141. Though yeah, I guess that it would also be a real tragedy (I find this infinitely sad, depowering and tragic so – it’s doing its job if it’s the case), but after so many talks about “choices” in season 4, and about how, maybe, the spooks we had met so far were… mostly Very Bad People to begin with, or people easily convinced to kill others if it would mean surviving themselves…

(MAG121) OLIVER: The thing is, Jon, right now, you have a choice. You’ve put it off a long time; but it’s trapping you here. You are not quite human enough to die, but – still too human to survive. You’re… balanced on an edge, where The End can’t touch you, but you can’t escape Him. I made a choice. We all made choices. […] Make your choice, Jon.

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: In many ways, The Slaughter fascinates me. There seems to be, in all cases, a question at its heart about… control. Is it a mindless dance, dragging participants along by the beat of a drum or… is there a kernel of will in there, a lucidity and deliberateness to the random fury and violence? I suppose that’s the question with so much of “violence”, “war”: how much are you really in command of yourself or of others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately, we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalisation.

(MAG131) MELANIE: And then, one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it. Tells me it’s right. That it’s me. It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it.

(MAG132) DAISY: I don’t want t–to be a s–sadistic predator again… I–I don’t want to… hobble around, like some pathetic, wounded prey either… I don’t know which would be worse. And I’m sc–scared, now, that I’ll never get the choice… ARCHIVIST: One thing I’ve learned, Daisy, is that we all get a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. […] DAISY: Get over yourself! You’re always talking about choices – we all made ours.

… we would reach the conclusion that… no, the atrocities of the past will constantly repeat themselves; that Jon wasn’t able to learn enough from his mistakes and Gertrude’s; that in the end, Tim was right in MAG114 when he spat out that Jon “couldn’t not” because these spooks are pure instinct and you can’t do anything to refrain them, cue Jon now being unable to not jump on anyone with a Spooky Story, and finding it natural to doom them to get nightmares about it for the rest of their lives, without finding it problematic at all nor expressing any internal conflict…?

I’m not ready to give up on Jon as character-person (someone struggling, someone trying). If the Jon from MAG141 is What He Is Now and we’re getting that until the end of the season/series… I’m not ready ;; He would still be interesting to me as a character-character but I couldn’t empathise or sympathise with him much anymore if… he casually accepts to hurt people without sadness nor regret. So: I might be grasping at straws, I might be uselessly hoping, but… I don’t want this to be the end of it? Not yet? So, multiple possibilities that I am thinking about regarding this whole situation:

* The major difference with the rest of season 4 so far (except for MAG121 and MAG122) was that Jon wasn’t inside of the Institute/in the Archives. It could be possible that in Beholding’s temple, he is more “in control” of himself (and able to avoid casually hurting people if it serves him). Though: he was outside of the Institute in MAG122 and didn’t jump on Basira (who had More Spooky Stories, since she had experienced Peter Lukas’s reign over the Institute and The Flesh attack while Jon in the coma) nor Georgie (who had just met Oliver).

* Drinking at the Lonely Bar at the end of MAG139 actually messed Jon up more than he was aware and he was submerged without realising that he had “drowned”. Though: he… acted normal-Jon in MAG140 – wise-cracking, sighing a lot, being awkward and critical and… not glad about the whole necessity of the trip.

* This one feels more akin to wishful thinking to me than something actually likely, but orz I wanna hope and have faith in Jon, gdi.

Jon sounded… oddly focused on Basira after taking that statement – as if… making a point. He kind of cross-checked everything Basira expected from him: just answering to the call of a tape recorder:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: And we’ve got an audience. Perfect. I thought you said you decided to throw them all out. BASIRA: Yup. And I did. And here’s another one. ARCHIVIST: Maybe it’s hungry. BASIRA: Seriously? ARCHIVIST: I mean, I did have a statement I was planning to record.

(MAG141) BASIRA: Yeah, I heard. ‘anks. … What? ARCHIVIST: The tape recorder. BASIRA: [INHALE] Get ready. Any idea what’s coming? [QUICK FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: N–no, I’m… No, I–I don’t think that’s it. BASIRA: It’s not recording for nothing. ARCHIVIST: No, I… [STATIC RISING]… I think… [LOUDER] Excuse me? […] BASIRA: And now he’s going to see you in his dreams as he relives that for the rest of his life! ARCHIVIST: [INHALE SHARPLY] BASIRA: Because… because a tape recorder told you to do it?!

and being unable to not answer to the Call of knowledge and actively pursue it:

(MAG127) BASIRA: Don’t snoop in my head. ARCHIVIST: I’m not “snooping”, I’m not looking. That’s not… how this works.

(MAG128) BASIRA: Keep it safe, I’ll be gone a few days. I have some leads I need to follow up. ARCHIVIST: Sorry…?! BASIRA: You heard me. Don’t ask about them, and don’t know about them either. ARCHIVIST: I can’t exactly control that! BASIRA: Learn.

(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: I had to know. Basira. BASIRA: It wasn’t right. ARCHIVIST: … You could have stopped me. [SILENCE] But you wanted to know as well, didn’t you…? [SILENCE] [INHALE] Get some rest. Two days yet.

(And Jon, as far as we know, had managed to learn? Unless he hid it from us, he still doesn’t know that her intel was Elias, still doesn’t know what she was doing apart from what she told him. He also stopped meeting Martin when Martin told him to stop “finding” him. True, Jon tried to use his powers to see what The Dark was doing, and what Peter’s plans were, but… he was more in control, trying to use instead of being used, and it was to protect people!)

And Jon also reversed the dynamic by reminding Basira that she had elected Gertrude as role model, and he was merely behaving like she would have, ruthless methods included:

(MAG133) ARCHIVIST: You were hoping for a defender. BASIRA: I was hoping for someone I can trust to share the load. Because right now, it’s all on me. ARCHIVIST: [EXHALES, SLOW] It doesn’t have to be. BASIRA: Hm. ARCHIVIST: You’re not happy she is back. BASIRA: I didn’t say that, Jon. I would never abandon Daisy and, having her back is… [SIGH] But right now, she’s dead weight. And I need to be able to travel light. ARCHIVIST: … You’re starting to sound like Gertrude. BASIRA: Good. As far as I can see, Gertrude Robinson was the most effective person in this place.

(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: Anyway, you’re the one who wants to be like Gertrude. [SILENCE] You think she’d give a damn about a few bad dreams? BASIRA: … No. ARCHIVIST: No. She got the job done, and didn’t care about the costs. BASIRA: But I thought you did.

And it seems so… pointed? So orientated? So “look at me being the monster you needed”?

So I wonder (/probably: hope) if… Jon wasn’t mainly trying to disgust Basira, with this. Playing a role, and keeping calm and quiet because he needed for the lesson to sink in. Season 4 has been about him more or less saving the assistants: removing Melanie’s bullet; getting Daisy back. Martin is still inaccessible and a sore spot. He’s tried to reason with Basira, and she deflected every time, even when he capitulated and offered for her to “use” him even if she still didn’t want to trust him. He is making himself usable here, but also… making himself loathable. And I’m wondering if this might be the way he has found to try to “save” her, too, by making her realise that the system she wants to adopt is messed up, and disgusting, and not… very “her” either.

* Not incompatible with the above, there is technically another option, when Basira told Jon that Floyd would now get plagued with nightmares:

(MAG141) BASIRA: And now he’s going to see you in his dreams as he relives that for the rest of his life!

… the other option is: “for the rest of Jon’s life”.

Because another thing in season 4 so far has been Jon’s research on rituals: how Gertrude dealt with some, how some others cancelled themselves or failed independently from Gertrude (for example, in MAG135, “I’ll keep digging. If there is another ritual upcoming, I’ll need all the information I can get on it.”). The fact that Beholding still has its chance has been looming since even before Jon’s return to the Institute, and he went back to that notion much later, with restlessness – it’s absolutely possible that, with his digging about rituals, Jon has been trying to find something that could help prevent Beholding’s:

(MAG123) BASIRA: [SIGH] Alright. Best I can understand it, Beholding, or The Eye or… whatever you want to call it, we’re one of the only powers that hasn’t actually taken a shot at our ritual. Yet. And everything out there knows it. ARCHIVIST: … No, I mean, we… we can’t be the only ones, surely? BASIRA: I don’t know. Probably not. But we made a big noise with The Unknowing and… other stuff, and… now they’ve taken notice.

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Ever since I crawled out of that damn coffin, I feel like I’ve been… adrift. Filling in blanks and diving into History, but only…! [EXASPERATED SIGH] The breadcrumbs I’m finding are… stale. Old. … What the hell is The Watcher’s Crown? So far the only mention of it I’ve had is from Gerry, and he didn’t seem to know much about what it actually meant. [PAUSE] And he’s gone now. But if it is the grand ritual of Beholding, then I– … I mean… I need to know about it. Right…? I feel like I’m on a deadline, like I’m running out of time somehow – and I don’t even know where to go! What to look for, o–or… [EXHALE] Just casting around blindly for more clues to just… drop into my lap.

Gertrude’s methods mostly consisted in using either explosives or the Fears’s antitheticals – Vast-touched Jan Kilbride neutralised The Buried, and she had planned for a Beholding-touched person to be the one activating the explosive during The Unknowing:

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on. Gerard may have a connection to The Eye, but I’m not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy.

… which ended up happening with Tim. And, right before Basira came in with Flamsteed’s statement, Jon read how… Agnes had asked her own followers to hang her, officially to allow their cult another chance soon – and possibly, given Jack Barnabas’s statement and Agnes’s melancholia about how she hadn’t chosen this life… to plainly make sure that their ritual wouldn’t happen? And Jon did confess to Daisy that he wasn’t sure that he had been right to choose to “become” something else, that he felt like a potential danger, and that he was actively willing to sacrifice his life if it meant saving others:

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I… I don’t know if I made the right decision; I–I’m stronger now, tougher, I can… … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever… I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else so, if I can maybe stop that happening, and [DRY CHUCKLE] the only danger is to me, I– I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario… the universe loses another monster. DAISY: That’s messed up. ARCHIVIST: [LOW SELF-DEPRECATIVE DRY LAUGHTER] … Yeah. I suppose it is. DAISY: Did you know the coffin wouldn’t kill you? ARCHIVIST: I– guess I thought imprisonment wouldn’t… wouldn’t be as bad as it was. And it’s a lot easier to make that choice than it is to actually… endure the result. You might have noticed when I was in there with you, I… I had regrets. DAISY: Yeah. I remember. ARCHIVIST: Plus, I thought… [PAUSE] W– [SIGH] Well, I didn’t know what being down there had done to you. DAISY: You thought I was gonna kill you? ARCHIVIST: It was a possibility. DAISY: Guess so.

… so I wonder if Jon isn’t trying… to make Basira disgusted enough with him for her to be ready to sacrifice him when they fight against The Dark, because that would be his logical conclusion to both neutralise it and Beholding in one go, without having to lose anyone else…? He said that Melanie has been doing better; that Daisy and Basira seemed a bit warmer. Martin has cut him out. From Jon’s perspective, he probably doesn’t have a lot to come back for…?

(Or yes, maybe I’m just in denial. SHHHHH.)

Title for MAG142 is out, and MMMMMM does it sound like a Beholding title?! (So not necessarily Jon&Basira-related; could be back to Martin at the Institute. Poor Martin.) Potentially Hunt, I guess, too??

And Anil teases Things and I don’t know if I can get my hopes up for Julia&Trevor………….. because The Dark is Julia’s family story, and she became a Hunter to survive them… (And OOOPS, remember how Trevor had described Darvish in MAG109? “Point is, soon as I saw [Darvish], I knew he were there one I were after. There was a smell to him. Something dark and sick, rolling off him in waves. [SCOFF] Sure, he didn’t smell like a vampire, but he smelt like something that weren’t meant to be in this world. So, I reckoned I best help him out of it!” … I wonder if another-Hunter-than-Daisy would react in front of Jon, nowadays…)

[ethereal-pluto-blog]

Markus × North Headcanons since I can't find enough of these !! (SFW)

(North is my angry baby I love her so much)

Sure they have some shit to work on to make their bond stronger (especially if you chose pacifist route for Markus) but neither are the type to just drop something without trying.

Markus and North are both leadership oriented, so they both take lessons from each other to improve their ways of leading.

Markus learns to be more assertive in his position, as now the successful leader of the android revolution many try to undermine his authority + take advantage of his position.

North learns to soften up. (With time, of course) Although her normal personality is bold and brash, Markus helps her with dialogue, and that simply wasting rage is a useless way to waste energy and time, saving her from unnecessary trouble.

North is !very! subtle with affection.

Don't get me wrong, she likes being adored, but at the same time she was programmed to constantly give and give and give affection (sexually, working at the Eden Club for clients all the time). So she likes to take things slowly once the revolution relaxes. Doing things at her own pace gives her back control she needs, so it doesn't feel like she's falling back into an obligated position to please someone else.

Markus doesn't mind, he's a patient soul after all.

Whenever Markus gets too stressed out from his Robo-Jesus work, North becomes gentle and lightly whispers praise and encouragement as she gently caresses his neck and shoulders.

It makes him weak trust me 10/10 he melts into a puddle of goo.

If North gets too riled up from anger episodes Markus lightly hums or sings to her.

She immediately shuts up and pretty much forgets what made her so upset in the first place, since damn, his voice is always so.. s o o t h i n g.

The trust in this relationship is outstanding.

Eventually, North opens up more about the abuse, and how she felt used, how eventually it all snapped inside of her to make her go deviant.

Markus always listens to her.

And wipes her tears away when eventually it all becomes too much to unload all at once.

He'll kiss the crown of her forehead, then her lips softly, as he embraces her until she comes back down from her venting episode.

He's a cuddle monster in general so it doesn't bother him when she clings on like a lifeline in these moments, hell he loves being close to her.

North always returns the gesture too.

If he needs to vent she's THERE IN A HEARTBEAT.

She'll always remind him that his frustrations are valid, and the more she listens to him it becomes less "Let's cut his dick off!!" And eventually more "I understand, love, we'll find a way to get through this together. (But if you need me to cut his dick off I'm down baby ily.)"

Their dates would be so sentimental and so cute I cannot.

Their lives are so hectic that it would probably be on the more tame side.

They can't eat so restaurants aren't on the itinerary, but they'd love some at home movie nights, stargazing, going to book stores, exploring hiking trails, going to the beach, and visiting museums.

Speaking of art, of course North inspires some of Markus' works.

He'll often appeal to her likeness with red's, yellow's, and orange's. Perhaps even painting fire around her/ in her heart.

He sees her as a passionate being, like a flame to a forest.

North gets flustered since Markus is so fucking pure, and she's so blushy when thanking him every single time.

She isn't that artistic, but she does try and impress Markus in other ways/ Show appreciation.

She tries many hobbies (keyword, t r i e s), but nothing comes to her until she discovers photography as an option. She takes to it almost immediately.

Her galleries are gorgeous as fuck and of course the full course meal Markus is a part of them. Sometimes she can't exactly vocalize praise or compliments, so catching him in his natural beauty is her fullproof way of showing him that she's honored to be his.

Markus and North also spend a lot of time with their squad.

Markus, Simon, and Josh sometimes have guys night outs. What are they doing you might inquire? Who knows! Literally they'll either be in bible study or committing lowkey arson lmao it's either one or the other.

North is chill since she likes hanging out with her friends from the Eden Club.

North is best friends with the power couple, the Traci's, and they go shopping sometimes for good clothes. They'll also occasionally go visit pet shelters since these girls are soft for fuzzy adorable animals. Lmaodon'ttellMarkus.

They do eventually get pets together as a couple.

They'll probably get a Pit bull and a hedgehog.

The Pit Bull will be tan with blue eyes, named Rosie. The hedgehog is named Oakley.

North wanted Rosie since she's a powerful doggo but also gentle af.

Markus liked Oakley since he could have a lil buddy to rest in his hoodie pocket while he painted.

Carl, although with his condition still not in the best shape, becomes a sort of father figure to North that she didn't know she needed.

She became more involved with caregiving for him after observing Markus do it so easily.

She'll jokingly call him a "crazy old man" but it turns more into "Pops" whenever she greets him.

Carl and North team up to mess with Markus from time to time, and it's fucking HILARIOUS.

Markus is peeved but he's happy his lil family is getting along. ("Guys... s e r i o u s l y where are the paintbrushes??")

Carl also teaches North some valuable insight, stuff that even she can't argue with. She nods thoughtfully and lightly hugs him.

Markus is so proud.

Proud son tears.

Proud significant other tears.

("Markus..?! Babe what's wrong why are you crying??" "Son you alright..?")

They're the most powerful of power couples.

You mess with North you'll have an angry Markus on your hands. Which can be surprisingly more intimidating than North.

You mess with Markus and well...accept your fate I guess lol since North won't hesitate to whoop you to within an inch of your life if you threaten her mans.

Honestly couple goals.

They may have fights from time to time but they become less frequent the more they have discussions afterwards to reconcile their differing personalities and temperaments.

And if you're wondering about marriage yes that's gonna be a thing with these two.

Markus believes marriage is a beautiful union between those in love.

North is skeptical since when presented to her in legal terms she's like: "...So a contract basically?"

Though she does warm up to it since she'll be the Maid of Honor to the Traci's wedding. Seeing their love and bond in a special ceremony helps cease her doubts. (She's not crying you're crying) (But honestly everyone there was a fucking mess after the vows were read but that's another headcanon for another day)

They'll probably accidentally propose at the same time.

(Totally not Carl's secret plan)

Literally they'll both kneel down and be like ???

They both had rings.

It was fucking hilarious.

They both had planned on proposing at the first place they met, at Jericho.

It was a shock to both of them.

Somehow Simon, Josh, and Lucy knew it was going to happen so they were spying on the couple and they were WEAK AS SHIT!!

When they do get married though it's going to be a fairly large ceremony. (Since every fucking android and android supporter from across the nation wanted to be there for the headline breaking wedding of the century)

Markus' groomsmen are going to include Simon as his best man, Connor, Luther, Carl, and surprisingly Leo too.

North's bridesmaids are going to include Lucy as her Maid of Honor, the Traci's, Kara, and Chloe.

Josh is going to be ordained for this occasion (seeing as he's the only emotionally stable one during this high stakes event)

Alice is going to be the ring bearer fucking fight me on this.

North is also walked down the isle by Carl since he's basically become her dad at this point since she's known him for years.

Everyone is going to be emotional.

I mean everyone.

Markus almost shuts down a few times.

North is just perpetual tears and happiness.

Now they're officially joined together as Mr. Markus Manfred and Mrs. North Manfred.

You bet your entire ass they're getting kids.

It's gonna be blended.

Some android some human.

Probably get around 3-5 kids.

All adopted obviously.

Markus is soft huggy calm dad.

North is strong momma.

People who thought that their relationship wasn't going to work are now eating their hats.

Honestly they're so in love and devoted to each other that nothing can separate them now.

I love these dorks so much can't you tell? :')

Anyways yeah here's my contribution to this ship that I really like so :')

Probably not going to be a fanfiction blog but who knows I might pop more of these out whenever I have motivation to do so. This was kinda fun to do. Hope whoever reads this enjoys! !

[instakpop]

Chen scenario - Love games

Requested by anon (Supposed to be a drabble [>600 words] but I got carried away)

Genre: fluff, romance

Request: Chen drabble where your best friends with his sister and you have a big crush on him and his sister/your friend totally ships you two and tries to get you in situations together

*y/f/n = your friend's name*

Spite is such an odd reaction. We as humans either refuse to do something because another person wants us to do it or we do something when told not to. Growing up with my childhood friend, we always said we were like sisters. We loved the same foods and binge-watched the same shows, often times we'd finish each other's sentences like siblings. Around our school years, I started to notice something about her- well not necessarily her, but her brother, Jongdae. He radiated boyfriend material!

My crush on him started to become difficult to hide and y/f/n started to notice. She and I were sitting in the library one morning, working on a book report when I locked eyes with Jongdae from across the room. He smiled at me, making me feel all warm inside. I sent him a faint smile back and felt a little pinch on my arm.

"Y/n? What are you staring at?" Y/f/n said with an amused smile. She tried to search the room to find out what grasped my attention only to find her brother quickly turning away from us. "Wait... Are you two...?"

"No, we're not. I was just-"

"Giving him the look." She finished for me. "Oooh, this is perfect. You two can start dating, then after graduation, he'll propose and we'll be sisters for real! YES!"

"Shh!" The librarian hissed.

Y/f/n sat back in her seat, settling herself before she went on. "He clearly likes you back. If you want to go out with him, you have my blessing."

"Y/f/n, I'm not into Jongdae. I was looking in his general direction and he happened to look back."

Rather than respond to me, she just raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Whatever you say, sis..."

Ever since that day, I have been caught up in a real-life Parent Trap situations.  Countless times I have been locked in rooms with Jongdae, receiving flirty texts from him only to find out it was Y/f/n who stole his phone. In the midst of all this, Jongdae and I have gotten really close, but I never gave Y/f/n the satisfaction. Oddly enough, I tried to distance myself from Jongdae a few times.

As the years passed, Y/f/n's shenanigans wore down, Jongdae and I didn't really talk much as a result and things were nearly back to the way they were. But our lives were different. We weren't kids in school anymore and every time I looked at him, I didn't have as many butterflies, there were more! I would even think about him and be consumed in thoughts of how we would have ended up together. Maybe we'd still be together now and hearing wedding bells in the distance. It was easier to keep my feelings for him under wraps because of the distance in our social lives, but as long as my best friend- his sister is around, we always have an excuse to bump into each other.

The longest we went without speaking was nearly five months, a real record considering there was a time we spoke at least once a day. All of the silence would come to an end soon though. Y/f/n was having her annual birthday bash and she invited everyone she knew. Truth be told, I really missed Jongdae. If we were going to reconnect, I don't want to go back to just being friends. I wanted to be with him for real.

My nerves started to get the best of me when Y/f/n's party came around. I wasn't sure why either. I was almost certain that Jongdae felt the same about me... almost. I arrived on my own, immediately being greeted by the birthday girl herself.

"Y/n!" I was engulfed in a tight hug by y/f/n.

"Hey~ Happy birthday."

"Thanks. Stay close okay? I only have a few more guests arriving then we can party hard." She said with an evil grin.

I chuckled at her signature whimsy and agreed. I walked over to the gift table, placing my box up front. A few friends came up to me, striking up a conversation, but I quickly zoned out when I saw Jongdae come into my line of vision. As if he felt my stare, he turned around, locking eyes with me for what felt like minutes. He gave me a small smile and a friendly nod. I replied with a little wave and he returned to what he was doing. God, he was so handsome. He is far and away, the best guy I knew, but I was too stubborn to admit it.

"Y/n? Are you alright? You look flushed." My friend asked.

"Oh, yeah. It's just a little warming here. I'm gonna go... get a drink." I excused myself and headed to the bar.

I looked toward the entrance and noticed Y/f/n wasn't there anymore. I ordered myself a drink and took a seat.  I searched the room to check if Jongdae was still close by but I lost him in the crowd. I slumped over in the bar stool, beginning to doubt my little plan. But where there's a will, there's a crazy best friend who ships you with her brother.

Y/f/n came over, sitting next to me to cheer me up. "What’s wrong? Not feeling the club scene anymore?"

"No, it's not that... I wasn't even going to tell you this, but it turns out I kinda miss being around Jongdae, but we've been apart for so long that I'm afraid he'll forget about me." I vented.

"Because you looove him." She teased, causing me to smile a bit. "...oh... You really do love him don't you?"

"I don't know. I can't stop thinking about it and it's eating me up inside. I actually wanted to confess to him tonight, but I have no idea where he is." I saw the look on her face and narrowed my eyes in disapproval. She was up to something.

"Say no more. You can thank me later." SHe said simply. I was confused for a second until she took the remainder of my drink, spilling it down the front of my top.

"What was that?!"

"Oh, no. Y/n you need to cover that. OPPA!" He hollered and like a phoenix out of the flames, Jongdae appeared. "Can Y/n borrow your jacket? I need to get my stain remover out of my purse." She walked away, leaving the two of us together.

"Here." He slid his jacket off and helped me put it on.

"Thanks. Sorry about this." I said with a laugh.

"No problem." He let me off the stool and lead me to the back hallway to wait for Y/f/n. Jongdae leaned against the wall, pondering briefly before asking, "She spilled the drink on you didn't she?"

"Yup," I confirmed.

He laughed to himself and looked at the ground. “I mention I liked you one time and it becomes a frenzy.”

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“You didn’t know?” He questioned and I shook my head in reply. “Wow, I thought I was being obvious.”

“When was this?”

“Back in school. I’m not certain on an exact day but I guess I can track it back to the time I saw you in the library. You and Y/f/n were doing something and I guess I thought you looked back at me... I don’t know.” A rosy blush started to appear on his cheeks and my heart melted.

“Really?”

Jongdae looked up at me, noticing the way I was fascinated by his side of the story. I was amazed at the fact that he had the same feeling when he looked at me at that moment in school. He stepped a little closer, slowly closing the gap between us.

“Yeah.” He said back, stopping just a few inches away from me. We were so close, I could feel his body temperature rising. 

“I liked you too.” Our noses brushed together before he gently placed one hand on my waist, the other cupping my face before his lips pressed to mine for a long-awaited kiss. “Mmm~” I kissed him back, placing my hands on his back and shoulder. 

As much as I regretted being too stubborn to follow my heart, it all worked out in the end. Y/f/n’s final scheme worked like a charm and as a result, I was able to confess to Jongdae and she was able to have an official sister.

THE END

A/n: The “look” ⬇️

[acuppellarp]

Welcome to A Cup-pella, Lauren! We’re excited to have you and Ava Sinclair in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Lauren She/her Age: 28 Timezone: EST Ships: Chemistry Anti-Ships: Forced

IC INFO

Full Name: Ava Marie Sinclair Face Claim: Emma Watson Age/Birthday: November 5, 1989 Occupation: Assistant graphic designer Personality: independent, jealous, bossy, generous, prideful Hometown: London, England. Bio: tw mentions of drug use

Ava’s parents had everything planned. They were going to get married, have 2 kids, one dog and grow old together with their kids having good jobs and allowing them to have a cushy retirement. But things don’t always go as planned, especially when being pushed so hard….It was their second child and they were so excited to be having a daughter. They were supposed to have a private room, cushy pillows, a quiet space to themselves during the birthing process… but their baby had other plans. It was Guy Fawkes night when Ava Marie Sinclair came bursting into the world with a loud cry and fireworks in her eyes. Her mother and father didn’t quite make it to the hospital in time; they were just outside when little Ava Marie refused to stay in any longer and she was born under the fireworks being shot off just down the way.

When they brought their little daughter home she was everything they could have wanted. But as she got older they had questions and concerns. Their little girl…rarely ever spoke. They took her to the doctors multiple times and each time were told…she was just a quiet child and she’d start talking one day. Once she was able to pick up a crayon…the little girl seemed to never put it down. She started scribbling away on any paper she could get her hands on. They started to wonder if maybe, this would be how their little girl would express herself, not through words, but through art. And just as Ava turned three, they were really starting to accept that Ava just wasn’t going to be much of a talker, when she suddenly…didn’t stop talking. But the one thing that didn’t change during her sudden talking spree, was her love of art. Ava attended a small christian primary school and all through primary school Ava showed a great interest in all things creative. She drew on anything she could get her hands on to. In secondary school Ava’s love for drawing  blossomed even more. Any chance she had to enter silly local contests or draw anything, for anyone she pretty much jumped at. She could be found most days in the art or drama room working. Face covered in paint or charcoal she rarely left school perfectly clean. It led to kids making fun of her, calling her dirty when they saw the charcoal on her face…and when she made a point to try and clean up they just found new things to make fun of her for; anime, sci-fi and all things fantasy. This spiraled Ava into a state of anxiety and depression she’s still not quite pulled herself out of, even years later.

After spending a summer away and learning how to, not only defend herself, but a summer spent with family and friends in America Ava learned a lot about herself. She realized, thanks to her cousin Gabby, how to stand up for herself and how to be proud of who she was. When she returned to school she was seemed like a totally different person, her attitude, her look… but deep down she was still the same Ava. She still loved art, she still loved fantasy and sci-fi and all things nerdy.

When she graduated secondary school the young woman realized she wasn’t sure where she wanted to go to college, but she did know she knew she needed a backup, another way to make money, because simple art and comics–didn’t always make money. Thats where her interest in animation and computers came in handy. She studied video game design in college and hoped to one day make her own video games.

It wasn’t until she was in college that Ava had even really started to think about dating. All through her secondary school years she had been to focused on making her comics, drama class and her friends to even notice that she was the only one who had never been kissed, who had never been in a relationship. Her friends set out to change this.

With Robert and Rosie by her side the three of them painted the town red. They partied till the wee hours of the morning, worked and went to school all the other times. There was barely time for sleep. But–in the midst of all that partying Ava finally met someone, finally got her first kiss and had sex. All to a man, but she was fine with that. She was having fun, and while sure–men weren’t nearly as attractive, she still had fun with them.

She continued to do good in school and continued to party, and the more she partied the more the young woman realized how easily she could manipulate people into doing what she wanted with a little bit of flirting. Soon she started using this to her advantage, getting guys to buy her drinks, buy her supplies for her house, to take her out to dinners, to spoil her. She flirted her way through any sticky situations, managing to get out of them all with only giving away a kiss or two here and there. The couple times it almost went ary ended with someone on the ground bleeding–and it was always the man who tried to take more than she was willing to give.

After a couple of bad incidents with drugs being slipped into drinks and almost being taken home, Ava became much more aware of the people around her. It gained her a reputation to not be messed with, and the whole time she did it with such a sweet smile that men were left confused as to what just happened, but knew that they just got in some serious shit–if they didn’t just end up on the floor. A couple of times that ending up on the floor ended up with them hugging a toilet bowl after drinking the drink they tried to drug her with.

Three years later she graduated college, at 23, with two short animated films under her belt and hope for the big time in her eyes. She moved to Cambridge to work with a small indie game designer on a project they had been conversing on for years throughout her college time. But the stress of the job and of the pressure her coworkers put on her drove the girl into the deep end. Her anxiety and depression sending her further down the rabbit hole of depression and into adderall and other party style drugs to quell her feelings. So when she wasn’t working she was playing; sleeping around, doing drugs, and having fun with anyone who caught her fancy, no matter their gender.

But this, was her best kept secret. Her overprotective, religious parents would disown her the moment they found out she wasn’t a holy straight woman. They knew their daughter would drink and knew she had been kissed–but if they ever found out she had had sex before marriage or was sleeping with women….well in their eyes it might as well be a sign of the apocalypse. Ava did a fantastic job of hiding this for 26 years. She never got into a relationship, never brought anyone home, and never acted like this was something she really wanted, even when her mother started asking if she was ever going to be a grandma.

What finally ended that line of questioning, at least for a year or so, was when her family got a panicked phone call from Rosie telling them that Ava was in the hospital for an overdose. Her mother went into panic mode, her older brother instantly started blaming her coworkers, and her father–well he was silent. When Ava awoke hours later she was greeted by the sight of grief stricken family and friends. It took two hours before Ava could really get a word in edge wise. She had been overworked, overstressed and depressed. She knew she needed help and she knew she needed to talk to a doctor–but affording one–it wasn’t in her books, and she was to proud to ask for help. So, she tried to self medicate. Tried to do what she could to make the pain and problems stop.

She was put into a rehab facility and after four months she was released and she truly felt like a new woman. She returned to work, this time medicated for her anxiety and depression, she had a therapist she saw biweekly and her support system was stronger than ever. For once, Ava felt like she might actually be able to handle this all. She was 25 and ready to actually live life. When she returned to Cambridge she got a new place and continued to work on her game with her friends, but she didn’t go out nearly as much, and when she did–she only had two drinks and that was it. Alcohol had never been her problem, it was the drugs that came with people who drank to much. Her 25th year went by relatively simply and peacefully.

But it was during the 26th year that she met someone who turned her world upside down. An American football game is what brought them together, both bored beyond understanding the two started chatting and formed a tight friendship. After a couple of coffee dates and sleepovers her and Chloe Anderson were a thing. They dated quietly, not letting their families know, neither of them were out and neither of them were quite ready to be out. Ava’s partying died down and then finally came to a halt once the two were official. If anyone saw them out and about they might just believe they were two best friends, two very, very close best friends. But behind closed doors and around their friends it was quite obvious that the two had something one might call love. Chloe was Ava’s best friend, and her muse; and Ava was always at any of Chloe’s shows cheering her on from the front row.

A year after they started dating they moved in together and had slowly come to the decision it was time to come out to their families. They had chosen Christmas vacation as the opportunity to tell their parents. Ava drove home and after a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner Ava couldn’t hold it in anymore. She carefully, lovingly tried to explain to her parents that she was in love with a woman named Chloe. To say that the night was a mess would have been an understatement. Her father, never a man to curse, used every expletive he could come up with he threw a dish and its broken edge sliced a small cut on Ava’s cheek, forever leaving her with a faint scar. Her mother on the other hand started sad, whining about how she’d never be a grandma, and then, went silent. Ava was devastated and to make matters worse they kicked her out of the house that evening telling her only come back when she was cured of her sins.  

She got in her car and drove to the one place she knew that no matter what, she’d be accepted. Robert’s house. He was waiting for her with open arms and his family took her in for the night. She celebrated that, and every Christmas after, with his family. Her own refusing to talk to her. But not only had she lost her family on that dreaded night, but her girlfriend as well. Chloe had called her during the fight, but it was to late, the other woman had backed out and didn’t tell her family anything. Ava ended the conversation has peacefully as she could, but her heart and trust were broken. After Christmas day she drove back to their apartment in Cambridge and emptied the place of her things. Robert had come with her and helped her find a new short term lease apartment. When Chloe returned and tried to find her she was faced with Ava’s coworkers refusing to let the other woman talk to Ava.

After a couple months of this painful time she traveled to Japan to work with another indie designer on a game. She perfected her craft and her Japanese for two years before she finally decided she wanted to go somewhere new. It was after another breakup that this decision came about, but that one had ended because they just weren’t right for one another. So Ava packed up her things, and flew with to NYC. Now that she’s in NYC she’s just got offered a job at DreamSail but still does her own indie games in her free time…usually sitting at A Cup with a large cuppa tea and a biscuit.  

Pets: A small tortoiseshell cat named Reeses. He’s super friendly and will follow anyone who’s home around like a puppy. Once they sit, Reeses sits on their lap, or right next to them.

Relationships:

♬ Chloe Anderson

Chloe Anderson was Ava’s first real girlfriend. They dated for a year before their world fell apart. Though when they were together nothing could have been better. They weren’t just in love, they were best friends. Chloe was hyper-focused on herself and her career, as was Ava, but when together they were mellow, happy and able to balance one another’s tendencies out. Things fell apart when Chloe didn’t come out to her parents and Ava did–and was kicked out. They haven’t seen one another in three years, but Ava thinks of Chloe regularly and wonders how she’s doing….not that she would ever let anyone know that.

♪ Dani Harper and Rachel Berry

Though they just met Ava likes both of them. They seem like chill, fun girls and Ava is excited to get to know them better. She’s made a point to go to their shows in the couple weeks she’s been living in NYC and is blown away by their talent. She hopes that one day she can convince them to do some shows at her restaurant.

EXTRA INFO

Twitter name/twitter URL/description: AVAcado 🥑/ Avamarie/ Avocado toast, cats named after food and art. What more could a girl ask for?

Five latest tweets:

@ I don’t ever drink coffee, I really don’t. But someone recommended to me to have this..thing and idk im wired now. #ithinkmyheartsgonnaexplode #sendhelp

@ Reeses decided that sleeping on my tablet was a great idea, and now i can’t work…and don’t tell me i can move him, he’s to cute. I can’t touch him.

@ I did not just draw Natasha Romanoff and Jessica Jones making out. Nope. That did not just… #someonemakethisreal

@ Can’t stop watching Game Theory while I work…I’m gonna run out of videos soon…help!  

@ Okay, coffee is wearing off, now im super tired. Someone come cuddle me to sleep, pls & thanks.

[aion-rsa]

Upcoming Horror Movies in November 2020: Theaters, Streaming, and VOD

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New original films have been popping up via streaming and video-on-demand all throughout the reign of the coronavirus. They continue to do so even as many theaters around the country have re-opened and are doing their best to lure customers back. Some titles are trying their luck with physical theaters first before heading online.

While October predictably saw a glut of horror releases during the lead-up to Halloween, November has a decent share of the scary stuff as well. Horror has historically been a reliable genre both at the box office (under normal circumstances) and in the digital space, so it probably makes sense that even in these compromised times, scary movies are still coming at us hard and fast as we approach Thanksgiving and the year-end holiday season.

Below is a round-up of fresh horror releases arriving either at your local multiplex (and we urge you to keep the risks of going to the theater in mind) or right in your living room. As we’ve noted before, even in decidedly unnerving times, scary movies can still be a hell of a lot of fun — and may actually take your mind off the troubles of the world around you.

Blood Vessel

Available On Shudder November 5

1945 and a life raft drifts in the North Atlantic, its occupants the survivors of a torpedoed hospital ship who are running out of hope. The arrival of a German minesweeper which at first appears to be deserted looks like it could be their last chance. This comes from director Justin Dix who made half decent action horror Crawlspace, and at first glance it looks like it might just be a Nazi vampire movie.

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The Dark and the Wicked

Available in theaters, on digital and on demand November 6 (US only)

We caught this — the latest film from writer/director Bryan Bertino (The Strangers) — at the online Fantasia Fest last month, where we once again marveled at Bertino’s ability to craft utterly skin-freezing filmmaking. Siblings Louise (Marin Ireland) and Michael (Michael Abbot Jr.) return to their family’s rural farmhouse to help their mother as their comatose father enters his last days, only to encounter a frightening presence. The atmosphere is thick with dread from start to finish, and the images shocking and nightmarish. This genuinely unsettling watch will also show up on Shudder later in the year.

Saban Films

Mortal

Available in select theaters, on demand and on digital November 6 (Out now in the UK)

Andrè Øvredal (Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark) directs this thriller, set in a sleepy Norwegian town where an American backpacker is arrested after witnesses claim that a teenager died after touching him. The backpacker warns a local psychologist that he has supernatural powers and that anyone who gets too close to him dies. The psychologist tries to determine the truth: is the stranger a freak of nature, an angry god or a renegade member of the X-Men? Okay, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea. Øvredal returns to his Norwegian roots for this wintry tale starring Nat Wolff (Hereditary).

IFC Films

Kindred

Available in select theaters, on demand and on digital November 6 (US only)

Kindred is being promoted as the debut feature from commercial director Joe Marcantonio, although we’re not sure if that’s supposed to mean something. In any case, the movie is billed as a psychological thriller in which a mother-to-be named Charlotte (Tamara Lawrance) collapses after hearing that her boyfriend has died and wakes up in his family home, where his mother (Fiona Shaw) and stepbrother (Jack Lowden) apparently have plans for both Charlotte and her baby. The trailer hints that something possibly supernatural may be afoot, and looks atmospheric enough to perhaps be worth a watch.

Dark Star Pictures

Koko-Di, Koko-Da

Available in Virtual Cinemas on November 6 in Los Angeles, New York and other major cities, with VOD to follow (Out now in the UK on BFIplayer)

We last wrote about this spine-chilling, twisted fairy tale back in September when it came out on VOD in the UK, and we’ve been waiting for an official North American release since it was first bumped back in March. This tale of grief-stricken parents tormented by demonic beings in a forested time loop is opening in “virtual cinemas” — you order tickets online and direct a portion of the sale to your favorite local arthouse cinema or indie chain. It sounds like a great way to support the smaller exhibitors who are hurting as badly as the AMCs and Regals of the world. And the movie is thoroughly unnerving.

Universal

Freaky

Out in theaters November 13

Freaky is the latest concoction from Blumhouse Films and writer/director Christopher Landon, who scored a big hit together with Happy Death Day in 2017. That was a mash-up of Groundhog Day and Scream; this one serves up generous portions of Freaky Friday and Halloween. Kathryn Newton plays Millie, a high schooler who finds herself trading bodies with a hulking serial killer called the Butcher (Vince Vaughn). We’ll see if Landon can skillfully bring the laughs and the scares in equal measure, while playing both a soulless murderer and a teenage girl seems like Vaughn’s biggest stretch yet.

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Shudder

Lingering

Available on Shudder November 12

Presented as a Shudder Original, Lingering (a.k.a. Hotel Lake) is a South Korean horror film about a young woman who confronts a ghost at the hotel in which her mother committed suicide and where her younger brother is now staying. This is the first feature for director Yoon Eun-kyoung, and based on the trailer it looks like it checks off the boxes for good old creepy K-horror.

Exhibit A Pictures/Shudder

Leap of Faith: William Friedkin on The Exorcist

Available on Shudder on November 19

Some 43 years after its release, there is still so much to say about The Exorcist. And no one has talked about it more than the film’s director William Friedkin. The latter is the subject of Alexandre O. Philippe’s documentary, which explores “the uncharted depths of William Friedkin’s mind’s eye, the nuances of his filmmaking process, and the mysteries of faith and fate that have shaped his life and filmography.” The Exorcist remains our favorite horror film and we never get tired of watching or learning about it, so we’re looking forward to this — as should all students of horror cinema.

RLJE Films

Monstrum

Available on demand and on digital November 17 (US only)

More South Korean fun, this time a monster movie and period piece in which both a plague and a monster are laying waste to a kingdom, with the king bringing his most trusted general out of retirement to get rid of the creature menace at lease. Sounds like a combo of action and monster mayhem with lots of historical flavor, if done right. Woo-sik Choi of Parasite stars along with Hyeri Lee, In-kwon Kim and Myung-Min Kim.

Allen Fraser/Hulu

Run

Available on Hulu November 20 (US only)

The director and writers of the striking 2018 suspense film Searching return with this Hulu original thriller about a young woman named Chloe (newcomer Kiera Allen) who has been raised in total isolation since birth by her mom Diane (the great Sarah Paulson). Chloe finally begins to learn that there is something unnatural about the way she has grown up, and soon discovers the secrets her mother has been keeping from her. Searching was a terrific little thriller, set completely on computer screens and smartphones, so we’re intrigued to see what this filmmaking team has come up with now.

Possessor

November 27 (UK Only)

Brandon Cronenberg’s follow up to 2012’s Antiviral is a sci-fi horror thriller which sees a convert corporation develop tech that allows agents to inhabit other people’s bodies and carry out assassinations. Andrea Riseborough stars as the star operative who finds herself getting lost in one of her quarries, while Jennifer Jason Leigh is her handle. Possessor already played the festival circuit and was scheduled for a UK theatrical release at the end of November until a second lockdown was announced. Now the movie will be released on UK Digital Platforms.

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