#rosemary garlic sourdough

[literaltyblackthorn]

getting the urge to bake bread again, blaming peeta mellark

[zombieplaguedoc]

Imagine your f/o making homemade bread.

What types of bread would your f/o make?

Antis dni, stay away from me and your f/os

[steelycunt]

going 2 try and make sourdough perhaps...i figure if ever there is. a time do it...it is upon me now...

[genderwizard]

made a really good sandwich

[dazedblackwolf]

Hey pack! Here's a list of wolf-inspired [non-vegan] recipes with a focus on hearty, wild, and primal flavors:

⚠️THIS IS THE NONVEGAN VERSION, THERE IS A VEGAN VERSION ON MY PAGE. ⚠️

### Wolf-Inspired Non-Vegan Recipes

1. **Venison Stew**

- Tender venison cooked with root vegetables, onions, and garlic in a red wine or broth base.

- Add rosemary and thyme for a woodsy aroma.

2. **Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese Spread**

- Blend smoked salmon with cream cheese, dill, and lemon juice.

- Serve with rye crackers or fresh veggies.

3. **Bone Broth Soup**

- Slow-cook beef or chicken bones with onions, carrots, celery, and herbs like bay leaves and parsley.

- Drink as is or use as a base for other soups.

4. **Wild Boar Sausage with Sautéed Mushrooms**

- Grill or pan-fry wild boar sausage and serve with a side of earthy sautéed mushrooms.

5. **Berry-Glazed Duck Breast**

- Pan-sear duck breast and glaze with a reduction of mixed berries, honey, and red wine.

6. **Herb-Crusted Lamb Chops**

- Rub lamb chops with garlic, rosemary, and thyme, then roast or grill.

- Serve with roasted asparagus.

7. **Charcuterie-Inspired Snack Plate**

- A mix of cured meats like prosciutto or salami, aged cheeses, nuts, and dried fruits.

8. **Pan-Fried Trout with Lemon Butter**

- Lightly coat trout in flour and pan-fry in butter with garlic and fresh parsley.

- Squeeze lemon juice on top before serving.

9. **Egg and Sausage "Hunter's Breakfast"**

- Scramble eggs with wild game sausage, onions, and spinach.

- Serve with a slice of sourdough bread.

10. **Braised Rabbit with Juniper Berries**

- Slow-cook rabbit in a broth with juniper berries, onions, and carrots for a rustic meal.

[miasmaghoul]

whos the best ghoul cook? do you think they have any weird eating quirks (like water ghouls eating raw fish, mountain chewin on his terra cotta plant pots, fire ghouls needing to eat more bc of higher body temp, anything like that)?

Did I ever tell you guys that I earned a scholarship to culinary school? I couldn't go, but cooking and baking remain passions of mine that I do NOT get to talk about enough.

But now you've given me an excuse >:)

So here, a BUNCH of my cooking (and favorite food) headcanons for the ghouls and Papas alike!

(There's some murder ghoul content here, mostly in Alpha's section - couldn't help myself 😌)

Aeon isn't one for cooking. Loves eating food, certainly, but not making it. He's more of a snacker, partly because it's more convenient but mostly because he doesn't have the attention span to do much more than microwave instant noodles. He's not picky though, will eat whatever is put in front of him as long as someone else has prepared it. Also doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, more of a salty/savory guy. Favorite foods include hot cheetos, thick cut beef jerky (good to gnaw), and whatever appears on his plate at meal times.

Aether is a ghoul of simple tastes. He'll cook when he has the time, but it's going to be one of his four go-to recipes every time. Always some format of protein + starch + veg, with a complementary sauce. He meal preps every weekend after his retirement so he can have easy meals to microwave and eat in the infirmary. Isn't the biggest fan of cooking with company, unless they're willing to stay out of the kitchen and not interrupt his routine. Has a weak spot for bananas. Favorite meal is one-pan roasted chicken, potatoes and asparagus with rosemary and garlic from Mountain’s garden.

Alpha does not cook, wouldn't dream of it. He doesn't even deign to eat human food most of the time, turns his nose up at it when offered. He likes his meat raw, and wants to hunt it himself so he can feel the blood run down his chin. Any prey is fair game - if he finds you in the woods, you'd better hope you can outrun him. (You cannot.) Favorite foods include the flesh and organs of anything with a pulse.

Aurora likes the idea of cooking, but in practice...well, she tries. She's impatient, is the problem - what do you mean simmer for 20 minutes? She's hungry now! She inevitably rushes everything she makes, no matter how much input she gets from the others, and has yet to learn her lesson. She also has a MASSIVE sweet tooth, they can't keep enough sugary snacks in the pantry as far as she's concerned. Favorite foods include spaghetti with butter and cheese (one of the only things she can always get right), boxed brownies and any kind of fruity candy she can get her paws on.

Cirrus can cook pretty well, if she says so herself, but it's rare that she does it for anyone but herself. She has very particular tastes, and doesn't want to have to adapt them for others. She loves organ meat and bitter vegetables, enjoys the intensity of those flavors while the smell alone keeps most of the others away. Oh well, more for her! She'll eat anything thats made for her though, especially if its served on a silver platter by someone on their knees. Favorite foods (aside from the aforementioned organs) mostly include healthy things like fresh fruit and veggies, steamed shellfish and lean meat.

Cumulus is more of a baker than a cook, but enjoys any time spent in the kitchen either way. She's the type to make a day of it, in her comfiest clothes with music playing while she dances in front of the stove. Her food is never the prettiest, but it's made with love and tastes so much better for it. Her favorite things to bake are cookies and pies, but she doesn't eat many sweets herself. Prefers seeing the others enjoy them. Favorite foods include homemade bread (she has a sourdough starter named Breadly) with lots of butter and flaky salt, anything citrus-forward and wants her proteins heavily spiced (not spicy, she has a low tolerance, but loves the fragrant flavors of herbs and spices).

Dewdrop doesn't advertise it, but he's one of the best ghouls to have in the kitchen. His precision and attention to detail are second to none, and while it doesn't make him particularly fun to share a kitchen with it does make him an outstanding cook. He likes very intricate, involved recipes because he can use them to showcase his skills (and earn a whole bunch of praise at the dining table as a bonus). Loves spicy food, which everyone assumes is due to him now being a fire ghoul, but he's actually always enjoyed a good burn. Favorite foods include any meat served on the bone, fermented foods (kimchi and sour pickles especially) and anything smoked.

Ifrit does not know how the stove works. He survives on protein bars and any leftovers he can pilfer from the abbey kitchens. Food is not a thing he's super interested in, just takes what he needs to fuel himself, and would rather follow in Alpha's footsteps anyway. He likes to hang out at the lake every now and then with Mist, though - she'll pop up from the water every now and then with a nice plump trout to toss his way, which he will roast with his bare hands. Doesn't really have a favorite food, but does like crunchy things.

Mist, if she isn't sharing her spoils with Ifrit, will keep her catch for herself. She's small enough that one good-sized lake fish will tide her over for the day. She does prefer them raw and whole, always a bit on the feral side, but she can be convinced to join the others for sushi if the offer arises. Favorite foods include anything alive and not poisonous in the lake, and cookie dough ice cream (don't tell anyone).

Mountain is overall considered to be the best cook amongst the ghouls, and definitely has the goofy apron to prove it. Naturally skilled and adaptable, he enjoys preparing meals for his pack and will do so with anyone that wishes to lend a hand. Usually it's Cumulus or Sunshine, but they all keep him company at one point or another. He grows much of the produce used in their kitchen himself, all of it fresh and delicious, but Mountain does not eat a bite of it. He's a total carnivore - the closest he gets to eating his homegrown goodies is including them in a stew but avoiding them in his own bowl. Favorite foods include rabbit, venison and this one Vietnamese style grilled beef and rice noodle dish that Dew makes.

Omega learned to cook by osmosis, if you ask him. Time spent under three Papas will do thay to a ghoul. He doesn't cook much, but he's excellent at crafting simple, filling pasta dishes that are good for the soul (so to speak). Also treats it as an excuse to drink plenty of the good wine stashed away in the abbey's cellars - blame Terzo for that habit. Favorite meal is fresh pappardelle served with roasted tomatoes, basil and spicy sausage.

Rain doesn't cook if it involves more than the microwave, not because he can't but because he prefers to be waited on. Breakfast in bed, charcuterie plates in the afternoon, specially prepared dinners to make sure he's kept happy - none of it is necessary, but Rain can't help how much he loves being served. Good thing no one minds giving him the royal treatment. He will also indulge in the odd raw fish during a swim, but only does it beneath the surface, away from prying eyes. Favorite good is soup, any kind, but he prefers brothy ones over thick or creamy styles. If he had to pick a single favorite varitey, it would be miso.

Swiss is only allowed in the kitchen because he's good with a knife. He can burn through prep work like nobody's business, but that's where his skill set ends. He's caused one too many greasefires to he trusted at the stove, and every time he's put something in the oven he's forgotten about it until smoke filled the room and the ghoulettes had to magickally air it out. But he can chop like a food processor, so he gets the knife pass. He's another one that'll eat anything put in front of him, with one exception: eggs. Can't stand them. Favorite foods include red meat served rare, really dark, bitter chocolate and anything with hideous amounts of garlic.

Sunshine is chaos personified in the kitchen. She loves to experiment with flavors and techniques, but has yet to have anything close to a success. Pasta with pesto and pineapple (alliteration is fun), chocolate covered avocado balls (with bacon, because why not), a tuna sandwich made with coconut yogurt instead of mayo (it's healthy!) - these are but a few of the food crimes that have lost her solo access to the kitchens. This girl could burn cereal, and no one wants to see that. She does love to eat though, and will frequently hang out when someone else is cooking so she can sneak bites whatever they're making. Favorite foods include cheese (all kinds), sour candy and all the orchard fresh peaches she can get her hands on.

And for the Papas:

Primo had to learn his way around the kitchen from an early age, thanks to the responsibility of raising his younger brothers falling onto his shoulders. He learned by watching the kitchen staff - a pair of elderly Sisters with so much skill in their gnarled hands that Primo couldn't look away. He never got very good at it, mostly sticking to a handful of reliable dishes that could be made cheap and easily for the three of them. His favorite of the bunch was also the one thing he was best at making - a simple mushroom risotto.

Secondo took to the kitchen like it was second nature, once Primo could trust him to not chop a finger off. Would spend hours poring over cookbooks and learning by doing, eating his own failures so his brothers wouldn't have to. He really enjoyed making simple but hearty comfort foods, lots of rib-sticking braises and stews filled with herbs and veggies from Primo's modest garden. He even cooked the last meal they ever shared together, on that fateful Uno night. It was his favorite, a lasagna constructed from fresh sheets of pasta, homemade ricotta, spinach and a simple tomato sauce, served with roasted garlic focaccia.

Terzo did not get the cooking gene, aside from being able to boil water for his tea. It wasn't a big deal since his brothers picked up the slack, and he decided there were other things that took priority - like music, history and how to retain a full head of hair after age 30. He preferred drinking over eating anyway, mostly saw food as something to put in his stomach to cushion the wine. He was a man of simple tastes, and his favorite thing was a humble sandwich of mortadella, provolone and spicy pickled peppers.

Copia never had to learn to cook, raised by the Clergy and doted on thanks to a not-so-subtle suggestion from Sister Imperator. More than a little spoiled in that sense, he would also go on to be the most worldly Papa in terms of his tastes. So much time spent traveling the world helped to expand his palate, and he got into the habit of sending pictures and descriptions of his favorites back to the abbey so the kitchen staff could figure out how to replicate them. It's impossible for him to pick a favorite, but thanks to so much time spent in LA he does have a real soft spot for Mexican food. Tacos al pastor in particular, but without the cilantro (he has the soap gene).

[fattributes]

Sourdough Focaccia with Rosemary and Parmesan

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,354 Words

Summary: Sun and Moon take Earth and Lunar on vacation, which leaves Ruin and Solar to babysit Eclipse.

Warnings: Imprisonment?, Babysitting, Brotherly Bonding, Self-Esteem Issues, Touch-Starved, Cursing, Fluff, Mild Angst, let me know if I should add anything else.

To Babysit A Grown Man

The fact that they’d allowed him to live now was seemingly moot, Eclipse was a glorified maid at this point. They always had him cleaning and running their errands for them. Especially Moon, Moon the most out of everyone with Sun being the second most.

Lunar avoided him, Earth as well due to unsavory memories at the previous Eclipse and the Original. Ruin outright hated him. Solar was the one who was ‘friendliest’. Solar didn’t make him do things, but he also didn’t pay Eclipse much mind. But at least Solar wasn’t using the household ’maid’.

Eclipse had been most surprised when Sun, Moon, Earth, and Lunar left on a family vacation, leaving him under the direction of Ruin and Solar. He wasn’t sure why they’d trusted to leave him under the influence of their cousins alone when they’d kept him under strict lock and key before.

It was a stretch to think they were beginning to trust him, so perhaps it was an exercise to see if Ruin or Solar would truly betray them while they were all screwing off to the Bahamas or wherever they’d gone. Eclipse sure didn’t know where they’d gone, he’d just been told they were on a week-long vacation.

Eclipse sighed as Ruin went to charge and finally the judging eyes left as Solar was now taking shift to watch him like a babysitter. It was infuriating but, not that Ruin was gone, he was relieved. He’d rather be ‘babysat’ by Solar anyway. At least Solar didn’t threaten him constantly.

“So what are you up to, huh?” Solar asked, following Eclipse as he went to the daycare kitchen.

“Hobby. Thankfully Moon didn’t throw it out before he left like he said he would.” Eclipse grazed his hand over the large bowl of dough on the counter he’d made a couple hours ago under Ruin’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Yeah, been meaning to ask about that. What is that giant container thing you have on the counter all the time? Venom or something?” Solar asked.

“Bread starter. Sourdough.” Eclipse answered as he took the cloth off the bowl and put flour on the counter, tipping the dough onto the counter and using a knife to divide it into six. God, he made too much. Eclipse sighed at the amount he’d made and shook his head.

“Why’d you learn how to make bread, Clipse?” Solar asked, simply sitting at the table with his feet on it as he scrolled on his arm computer.

“I wanted to learn something…harmless, I guess. It just interested me when I saw videos of it.” Eclipse told him, mixing matcha powder into one of the six doughs and putting nutella on the inside of the dough as he rolled it up and put it into one of the six baking dishes he had out for the bread.

“Well, I’m glad you found a hobby. What kinds are you making?” Solar asked.

“Well, I made too much. And I don’t think I can stand all one flavor. One of them is matcha nutella. One last said it tastes good but I’m not sure for the rest.” Eclipse tried to figure out what exactly to do with the rest.

“You want help?” Solar asked.

“You know how to make bread?” Eclipse asked.

“Nah, I’m not into baking. But I can suggest shit we have so you don’t overproof it, or whatever it’s called, having to go get more stuff to use.” Solar chuckled at him.

“Hm. Sure.” Eclipse agreed.

“I have instant espresso. You can probably put instant espresso powder in one so you have coffee flavored bread.” Solar suggested.

“That…actually sounds good.” Eclipse muttered as he looked through Solar’s cabinet and got out the instant espresso powder, mixing a bit into one of the doughs and putting it into a baking dish.

“Chocolate powder in one of the others Then we have blueberries you can use for one. Maybe one plain bread. Aaaand maybe rosemary and garlic.” Solar suggested.

“Where do you come up with this stuff?” Eclipse grumbled as he did the other four as Solar had suggested and scored them and put them into the oven with a pan with hot water.

“I don’t like baking but that doesn’t mean I don’t like bread.” Solar told him.

“Well, yeah, bread is good.” Eclipse sat with him to watch the oven. “Get your damn feet off the table.” Eclipse playfully shoved Solar’s legs off the table and onto one of the other chairs.

“Ugh. Can’t a guy put his feet up?” Solar sighed.

“Not when you’ve got those damn boots on. I don’t wanna clean the table a third time today alone.” Eclipse rolled his eyes.

“How long?” Solar nodded to the oven.

“Twenty minutes. Take the tops off and 20 more. Sadly, they need to rest for like an hour after before I can cut them.” Eclipse watched the clock.

“Fucker. Why can’t we eat molten lava bread?” Solar whined.

“Because it’ll kill every bit of our internals it touches. And it needs to cool to cut it. Or it won’t cut right or something.” Eclipse told him.

“Despair and disappointment.” Solar chuckled. Eclipse felt relaxed, he liked this little banter. It felt like he wasn’t being babysat, it felt like he was at home with a friend. Family? Were they family? Did Eclipse even get that title?

“You’re overthinking again. What’s in your head?” Solar asked.

“I…just….Are we family? Do I deserve that even? O-Or am I just being delusional or something?” Eclipse asked.

“You’re not delusional, we are family. You’re like my little brother kinda.” Solar smiled.

Eclipse halted and stared at Solar with slight awe. He’d thought Solar would call him a cousin or second cousin thrice removed or whatever meaningless title he could think of. Hell, he thought he’d get told no and called a nuisance.

To be called brother. It felt like someone lighting a fire into his core, it made his processors run on overdrive and his engines turn warm with heightened intensity. Eclipse felt…happy? Wanted? Loved? All he knew was he felt warm and excited.

“Eclipse, your bread.” Solar reminded him, opening the oven and taking the tops off for him.

“Thank you.” Eclipse felt tears well over his cheeks and he couldn’t help but smile, artificial breaths staggered with tears.

“You’re welcome.” Solar told him, not yet noticing that Eclipse was in tears. Solar put the tops of the cooking dishes in the sink to be washed. Solar came and sat back down with him and Solar finally seemed to take notice of Eclipse’s tears.

“You okay?” Solar asked, sliding a hand over but hesitating to hold Eclipse’s hand.

“You really see me as your brother?” Eclipse asked softly.

“Of course I do. I don’t get much time to hang out with you but yeah, you’re my brother.” Solar held his hand and Eclipse melted into more tears because of it. He hadn’t been touched that gently before, ever that he could remember.

“You’re too nice to me.” Eclipse whispered.

“Eclipse, come here.” Solar forced Eclipse to stand and hugged him into his arms. Eclipse melted against him and cling on tightly. The hug was so simple but it made him break down finally, choked sobs leaving him. His engines felt so warm and his processors felt like they were burning.

“It’s okay. I get it, it’s okay.” Solar rubbed his back softly and Eclipse sniffled, his fit of tears slowly petering off. He let go of Solar slowly and wiped his tears off his face, trying to stop crying.

“Thank you.” Eclipse whispered.

“No problem, little brother.” Solar ruffled his rays and made him laugh a little at the feeling of his messed up rays.

“Now about bread, I’ve got questions on if we can bake moondrops into them.” Solar told him.

“If we crack them like eggs maybe. Or melt them down.” Eclipse answered, laughing more at the idea.

“We’re doing that and giving it to Moon. Maybe force him to sleep for once.” Solar told him.

“You’re taking the blame. Not it.” Eclipse claimed.

[grubloved]

i fucked up my first batch of dough in a way never before seen by man but i had enough ingredience and willpower to power thru and make a second batch. kneading butter into dough remains my least favorite bread task forever amen. lavender has produced two pans of beautiful sourdough bread stuffing and has a gigantic pot of potato leek soup w homemade chicken stock bubbling on the stove and is currently browning a mirepoix + the turkey neck & spine to make a shitload of gravy while i make a confit garlic sage thyme rosemary compound butter for the turkey + my milk bread

[tiktaalic]

No one tells you this. they should. But they don’t. But my life hack for real. Get into good bread. “Yeah I guess I’ll have a turkey sandwich for lunch” makes you feel like a middle schooler feeding themselves on a Saturday home alone. Ease ✅ nutrition ✅ makes you happy ❌. BUT ! “Hm I think I’ll break out the garlic ciabatta or maybe the rosemary sourdough for a sandwich” yeah you will. Oh fuck yes a little sandwich for me with ciabatta or rosemary sourdough. Ease ✅ nutrition ✅ makes you happy ✅

[tastesoftamriel]

The Flowing Bowl

Anvil's best inn!

Starters

Gold Coast Crayfish claws, with horseradish crème fraiche and smoked Spotted Bass roe

The Flowing Bowl's signature gazpacho, with sourdough grissini

West Weald pecorino and rosemary dough twists, with whipped garlic butter

Mains

Potato and leek soup, with crispy fried onions and bacon lardons

Seagull confit, with saffron rice and grilled vegetables

Seafood tart, with fresh prawns, smoked Scorpionfish, mudcrab, and taramasalata topping

Dessert

Cyrodiilic apple pie, with a caramelised cinnamon sugar crust

The Flowing Bowl's famous baked cheesecake, with spiced pumpkin ganache and a caramel biscuit crust

Seagull egg dark chocolate soufflé, flambéed with amaretto

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Hello how are you!!! I was reading that post you made a few days ago and I am so freaking happy for you like it made me feel lighter to hear that you're feeling better and you're enjoying old hobbies!! Obviously zero pressure to write or even do fandom stuff, but I do admit that I miss ur humor and posting so I was wondering if you'd be down to share some of the non-fandom hobbies you're into. Again I know this is ur fandom blog but also you can do whatever you want forever you know? Either way!!! Keeping you in my thoughts.

Aww that's all very sweet of you to say, thank you!

The main thing I've gotten back into is drawing, though none of it is really worth showing yet. I'm starting from the ground up to properly learn how to draw instead of winging it, so right now I'm just at the stage of drawing 3 dimensional shapes. I might make a sideblog to share art on once I get better, and start taking requests for the sake of getting some practice in, but that's not going to be anytime soon lol

Baking is another thing I've gotten back into. I'm baking like almost everyday (and bringing the excess to work so my coworkers really love me rn lmao). I got a sourdough starter going, which was exciting since the first time I did that it failed spectacularly. All I did was make the world's strongest adhesive. You coulda laid bricks with that shit... I had to throw away the entire jar it was in 😅 But it came out right this time and that's what's important.

I almost never remember to take a picture of what I've made, but I did find one in my camera roll.

I think this is roasted garlic and rosemary bread but tbh I'm not positive. There's definitely rosemary in there, but I put that in a lot of my bread so that does not narrow it down that much.

I have also still been writing, just not fanfics. As I mentioned briefly, I've had more of an interest in original stuff lately, and have recently been working on fleshing out an idea for a yandere dating sim that's been floating around my mind. I've got the love interests pretty well figured out, as well as the general story, so now I'm just hammering out the scenes to get it from beginning to end. I would love to share more of this once I'm a little further along with it.

I appreciate you checking in on me like that! I hope you like this little update!

[shoku-and-awe]

Amazing sourdough discard crackers recipe that I stole in the early pandemic from Makiko Itoh (Just Bento/Just Hungry)! These are incredible! And easy, and versatile. They also keep a surprisingly long time in the fridge, if you can refrain from eating them all.

Bring these to potlucks/picnics with red pepper hummus and/or baba ganoush. It's delicious, veggie friendly but everybody loves it, it can sit out safely, and it's snacky but also filling enough that if your friend says Thanksgiving dinner is at 3 but now it's going on 7 and the turkey’s still in the oven and everyone has been drinking since noon, you might actually save a life. Tips and variations behind the cut.

Flavorings: - Fresh rosemary and butter (the ultimate crackers of all time) - Garlic cayenne (equal parts) and olive oil. - Pizza: Add tomato sauce & parm, reduce fat & liquid. - Sesame seeds (and sesame oil? I have only used vegetable oil but it was still very good) - Everything bagel seasoning: How have I not done this yet??? - Za'atar seasoning: Same! - Nigella seeds: Trying today (by request of my mom!) - Chia seeds: Not worth it! Maybe try in combo with other seeds?

Technique: Before baking, I puncture the dough all over with a fork (which stops the crackers from puffing up) and cut it with a pizza cutter. (I always forget that the recipe says to score, not cut.) Also, I've started to roll the dough out in my pasta maker, which is quicker, and also makes them more even, which means they're harder to burn. Prettier edges too.

Liquid: I am not sure I've ever actually added any water? I don't know if my discard is unusually wet or what. But it's fine without water.

Temp./Timing: This probably does not apply if you have a real oven, but if you're cooking in batches in a small oven, be careful later on. The temperature builds up and you need to adjust the cooking time or later batches will burn.

[boyplushie]

don't cry. grilled cheese sandwich on leftover sourdough with rosemary garlic red pepper honey & smoked provolone okay?

[problemnyatic]

sourdough BLT with avacado and cheese grilled in garlic butter with thyme, basil, rosemary, and smoked paprika if I'm being FUCKING honest for once in my stupid puppy life

[neopetting]

Maybe five or six for the ship prompts!

5 - write about a casual kiss between your ship

The kitchen floods with light—his body with panic. Bob winces. Briefly, stupidly, he considers trying to shove the bread behind the toaster oven and making up a lie about the butter. I was… just… taking it out so it would be soft for breakfast. No, Lin, I do this all the time. Well, you’ve never woken up while I was doing it before!

He has a good five or six inches on his wife, but the steely look in her eye makes her shape fill the doorway. Arms crossed, she pads angrily over to him on her tiny, pointy, kicky, bare feet. Some merciful facet of his brain that isn’t currently terrified registers the way her hips move under her nightgown. He tries to swallow, but all his spit has disappeared. And his mouth is full of evidence.

Bob lowers the piece of bread in his hand and attempts to form words around the chunk still in his mouth. “I’m—”

“What? Sorry?” Linda reaches him, instantly all up in his face, her voice uncharacteristically hushed to account for their sleeping kids, yet somehow still deafening. “You’re sorry I caught’cha, Bobby?” She narrows her eyes, hissing out the next part so it sounds extra venomous. “With your mistress?”

He squints back at her, finally choking down his glorious, yeasty, perfectly-buttered bite of bread. Focusing on the taste puts some fight in him.

“…You know what? I’m not sorry.” Bob tenses his whole body to keep from chuckling as he watches her mouth fall open in exaggerated shock. “Yeah, that’s right. You kicked me awake, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep thinking about the bread all alone out here. It probably thought we didn’t love it enough to eat it right away.”

Linda is leaning on him now, squashing her torso against his arm with considerable force. Is she… trying to physically intimidate him? Or maybe she thinks she can seduce him into defeat by pressing her chest against his side, drumming up some cleavage. It wouldn’t be the first time. Plenty of Lin’s wiles begin with her just kind of… putting her boobs on him.

Bob surveys her coolly. “Also,” he says, tapping a finger against the loaf on the counter, “it’s not my mistress. It’s like… my child.” His voice rasps with sudden emotion. “This bread is our fourth child.”

One corner of Linda’s mouth lifts into a lopsided smile, but she stays incredulous. “Oh, so you were on daddy duty, huh? Came to check on our little bun-fresh-out-the-oven?” Delighting herself, her smile is the real deal now. “Didja hear it rye-ing over the baby monitor?”

He rolls his eyes so hard it almost hurts, but can’t hide his amusement. “You know it’s not rye. It’s—”

“Garlic sourdough woven with rosemary-thyme whole wheat sourdough,” she chimes in, doing her best Dedicated Chef Bob impression—a deep, goofy voice that sounds nothing like him. She wraps an arm around her husband, breaching the waistband of his boxers to slide her palm against his soft, warm hip. Planting her chin on his shoulder, she stifles a yawn. “See? I listen. I’m a good flour mama.”

Bob hums, a floaty sensation ballooning in his chest as she parrots back to him the recipe he’d been mentioning all week. It’s not surprising, anymore, how Linda pays attention to the things that excite him. But it’s never stopped feeling good.

“You are,” he confirms. From the corner of his eye, he takes a second to study her. Lin’s glasses are sitting a bit crooked, probably from hastily throwing them on to catch him in the act. Her thick, wavy hair is mussed from sleep. She notices him sneaking a stare and trains her ridiculously dark brown eyes on his. Definitely not for the first time, Bob thinks about how her eye color perfectly matches just-ground espresso after it’s been tamped down tight, waiting to be brewed. Sometimes he struggles to maintain eye contact, even with someone he’s loved for fifteen years, but he holds her gaze. Waits a beat. “You’re one in glu-ten million.”

She blinks once. Twice. Then she’s snort-laughing much too loudly and giving his love handle an affectionate squeeze, making him yelp and twist toward her. “Look at youuu, bein’ all cutesy-wootsey!” Her free hand skitters up his chest and brushes over his mustache as she beams at him. “Must be the Thanksgiving Eve magic. You gonna kiss me under the wishbone tomorrow before you go full crazy-pants kitchen troll, or what?”

“Mmmaybe.” Bob smiles gently against her fingertips. “Tina will fight you for the wishbone, though. I guess I could… kiss you under some giblets? Uh, before I start the gravy.”

“Ooh, giblet kisses. Romantic,” Linda coos. Her hand slips out of his shorts and he feels her fingers patter against the underside of his butt cheek. She points her chin toward the bread, eyes bright. “Now gimme a piece!”

Grabbing the serrated knife, Bob can’t suppress a wobbly giggle. “It’s so good, Lin. Better than I thought I could get it. I think the test loaves really helped.”

Earlier in the week, he had baked each dough recipe into two smaller, individual loaves to get their proofs right. Then, cautiously happy with the results, he’d launched the main event—meticulously braiding the batches together, then reshaping them into a single round, bubbly, perfectly-marbled mass. He’d been consumed by bread stuff for days. At one point, Linda had resorted to wrestling the laptop away from him when he’d stayed up until 2 AM researching techniques to keep sourdough properly inflated. But it was worth it. The final loaf is crusty and deeply golden all along its surface, the lighter and darker dough shades contrasting beautifully. Specks of the chopped herbs mixed into its whole wheat portions are visible in the scores, which look like stalks of wheat. The bread is downright gorgeous. Every time Bob lays eyes on it, he wants to burst into tears.

“Aww, my little Bobby baker,” Linda says. She stares hungrily as the knife glides through the loaf with several satisfying crunches. “I feel kinda dirty, though.” Her nails tap against the countertop in anticipation. “You made a whole big show about nobody eating it ‘til tomorrow.”

Bob snorts. “That was just so Gene wouldn’t eat literally all of it. He’s as excited about it as I am.” He slathers Linda’s slice in the fancy farmer’s market butter he’d safeguarded to use exclusively with his bread, then presents it to her.

She reaches for it, eyes shining, but furrows her brow when he pulls it back slightly. Shifting closer, she goes for it again. Bob holds the piece out of range, eyebrows raised and wearing the faintest of smirks. Linda scrunches her nose at him, about to complain, before she tracks him looking at her lips and realization dawns. She laughs tenderly and balls a fist in his shirt, leaning up and in. He meets her halfway. The kiss is quick, but so sweet that both their eyelids flutter shut.

“Ooh, mm,” Linda exclaims. “You taste like butter.” She yanks firmly on his collar. “Give me the friggin’ bread.”

Bob offers it in earnest. Suddenly, he’s plagued with nerves.

She gingerly takes it from him, her bottom lip jutting out. “No toasting?”

He gives his head a curt shake. “Doesn’t even need it.” Why does he feel like he’s just asked her out and is desperately hanging on a response? Dumb, he thinks.

Linda sinks her teeth into the bread. Bob’s eyes feel way too big for his face as he watches her chew. Slowly, she brings a hand up to cover her mouth, then locks gazes with him. He worries he might accidentally pee a little.

Swallowing, Linda flashes him a megawatt grin. “Oh. Bob. Hon.” She touches his chest. “It’s really good.”

“Right?” Blinding triumph ricochets through him. “Thanks. I kind of can’t believe it came from me.” He picks up his own piece, raising it to his mouth, then pauses. “Is this what giving birth feels like?”

“Yeah, sure,” Linda says around her second bite. “Little more sweat and blood with a human baby, maybe. And you don’t eat it after. It’s been a while.”

Just as Bob’s lips reconnect with his slice, the unmistakable creak of a door opening slams into him. Linda freezes mid-chew.

Gene’s voice, cushioned by a heavy yawn, sidles out from down the hall. “Is that butter I smell…?”

Bob’s eyes bore into Linda’s. “How is he smelling the butter?” he asks frantically, barely above a whisper.

“He’s very talented!” she hisses back, jabbing a finger into his upper arm. “You made him! Get down, get on the floor. I’m going.”

Bob has only seconds to hide the bread and butter before Linda’s pushing him to his knees. “Oh, God. Lin—OW,” he grunts, belly hitting the linoleum. It’s not lost on him that none of this is necessary.

Linda spins on her heel and trots through the doorway, her tone sing-songy as she rushes to intercept their son. “Genie weenie beanie baby,” she calls, “you’re… dreamin’. Oooooohh, I’m the, uh… ghost of Thanksgiving future. You gotta go back to bed. Or the turkey’s gonna be dry.”

“Nooo,” Gene drawls after a sleepy moment. “You’re a mom-poster. Dad’s turkey would never be dry.”

Bob snickers to himself, huffing as he uses the counter to regain his footing. He pulls out his masterpiece and cuts a slice for Gene.

A/N: their love language is shitty puns <3