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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 7 months ago

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So, i don't know how you would react at this BUT, i just read all of your posts and i think you're really amazing while answering ask's, so i just thought it might be good to share with you a ( kind of? ) headcanon that i have about Silver.

Like, i don't know if it actually makes sense. And pardon me if there's any grammar erros, i'm quite bad at english.

BUT i just feel that he is pretty "incapable" of truly expressing himself, unless it's when his knight mode are on, but even in this mode, has some difficulties. ( and by incapable i mean he has some pretty relevant difficulties with expressing himself in a sentimental way ).

I just have this sort of feeling that his creation with two non-human ( and one half-human ) beings as he was human have a large impact on him mentally, specially because Malleus and Lilia are not the most open ones in terms of sentimentality and Sebek is just bad at this as them and also have some issues with expressing himslef and being sociable.

Like, despite all the efforts Lilia put to make sure Silver grew up to be a good person, he couldn't really be that good on the social and emotional part and Malleus weren't the perfect teacher of it either, not even Sebek. So Silver just grew up subconsciously trying to follow their behaviors and manners, while the culture from Biar Valley also moulded his way.

( and I also see Lilia as someone who hides his true feelings behind this mask of energetic and teasingly playful guy. )

The sleep curse might had put some extra inner barrier in Silver's mind, as or he is completely afraid to trying be sociable or he just are indiferent to this because he don't actually think he is capable of something like that due to the curse making him sleep anytime plus all the baggage of being raised in a country were his specie in not viewied with good eyes and being raised by people he eventually knew that would live a lot many years than him, that compared to them, he's really just a common human with a short lifespan. I doubt this hasn't fucked up his mind.

I don't remember if it's actually mentioned something detailed about his relationship with his club partners but, i do think he can be respectful and chit chat for a few minutes, but just having a long, deep and intimate conversation with someone might be too overwhelming to him, since he practically lived his entire life having constant interactions only with his family. He's just caught in this cycle where his adopted dad hide his true feelings, Malleus pretty much do this too and Sebek probably doesn't even think about how he really feels, so he just follow them and lock himself in his own bubble.

So, i really don't know if this make any kind of sense. But i would enjoy if you share your opinion on this silly headcanon i have.

Hello and thank you for sharing your thoughts ^^

I originally wanted to keep this short, but I kept having more and more thoughts and continuously added to the post until it became an absolute behemoth 😅 I still feel like I could have said even more, but I’ll leave it at this for now.

Please look below the cut to read my response!! (Note: the focus will be mainly on Silver and Lilia’s relationship, as those two are usually the ones described as father and son + we know the most about those two as Silver grew up.)

Mmm… Firstly, I don’t know if “being incapable of truly expressing himself” is something that’s exclusive to Silver; this is a pretty consistent trait among the prideful students of NRC. They demonstrate this in different ways (Rook is secretive, the twins claim they would throw Azul away if he becomes boring, Jamil represses his desire to be free while serving Kalim, Cater does not outright tell Trey he wants to be besties but implies he wishes Trey were as close with him as he is with Riddle, etc.). Very few are willing to allow themselves to be vulnerable with one another, and this feeds into a lack of “deep and intimate conversations” amongst all of them, not just between Silver and his peers.

That being said, I do not believe that Silver generally has issues expressing himself. In fact, I would actually argue for the opposite: that Silver is one of the more open students (at least when it comes to his feelings). He has talked about his deep love and respect for his father on multiple occasions. He has many animal companions whom he communicates with. He has given various speeches about how he wishes for a world in which living beings of all races and live happily together. (This last example was vital in Fairy Gala: If; it was Silver’s heartfelt words that moved the pixies to return what they had originally taken from NRC.) He has said on more than one occasion that be is thankful for his father and owes him a debt, that he must somehow “repay” Lilia. He becomes concerned about not being alert and that others may think of him as rude for falling asleep mid-conversation and seeks to correct this. He also worries about his classmates thinking of him as scary and emotionless (and, again, tries to solve this problem). He sees the best in others, he lets them know it (for example, assuming that Jamil is worried about Kalim in Endless Halloween Night), and he gives earnest advice. He understands that Sebek’s abrasiveness is a way of hiding his embarrassment and expressing gratitude, knowing that, deep down, Sebek is caring—so Silver is patient with him and asks others to do the same. He has no trouble asking for help either (something which the other NRC boys have trouble doing). He openly demonstrates awareness of his shortcomings (such as how he always falls asleep at bad times) and is happy just knowing that others may lend an ear to him. He has a lot of tenderness that’s hard to find at NRC. Silver is simply earnest and speaks his mind, even if it can come off as blunt or perhaps a naive way of responding to the world. He has a very simple way of thinking and forming opinions (Vil asks him what’s the most beautiful? “You,” Silver says. Azul asks him what he thought of the food? “Good,” Silver says.)—and his lack of facial expression certainly doesn't help in conveying his emotions, no matter how earnest they may be.

The one major time Silver actively demonstrates repressing his emotions is in book 7, when he stows away his true sadness for the sake of seeing his father off with a smile. He breaks down when he’s away from the party and with Malleus, venting his frustrations about himself and how he cannot even fulfill his father’s final wish. Silver apologizes to Malleus for his “unsightly behavior”, referring to his tears, indicative of a negative emotion, as something to be ashamed of. This, in of itself, is not odd. There’s always a handful of subjects a person may feel uncomfortable talking about even with their friends and family. Maybe it’s finances, personal flaws, or failures. For Silver, it’s in relation to his life span and “owing” Lilia. That’s nothing unusual; most people are not willing to divulge everything to their loved ones; there’s typically something negative or shameful held back. (For example, Deuce wouldn’t be so eager to tell his mom about the violent outbursts he had at school since he’s trying to reform himself. I doubt the OB boys would be eager to tell their own families about their overblots, etc.)

What I deem to be Silver's greatest strength is his empathy, and I think that comes across in how he communicates. When he's talking with others, Silver is entirely emotionally capable, willing to hear them out, and even lend his support. Where he falters is when it specifically comes to matters of his place within his family (which is not present most of the time; most of the time, Silver is in that default empathetic state). This is a point of insecurity for Silver, and it is a large part of his character arc in book 7.

One can say Silver repressing his emotions related to this occurrence is a learned response due to a combination of things. For one, he doesn't want to disappoint his father by ruining his celebration with tears. (Silver cares a lot about others, usually prioritizing them over himself, whether it's putting their needs over his own or literally throwing himself in harm's way to defend them.) For another, Silver, as a human, may have developed insecurities or a complex from having grown up in Briar Valley, a place known to have a very low human population AND a history of war with humans (meaning it's possible that humans are discriminated against). I don't know if the "culture" of Briar Valley had an impact on Silver's communication, since we ourselves are not fully aware of what this "culture" is or how people normally express themselves. Just because fae can be standoffish to outsiders doesn't mean fae are standoffish to other fae when Silver happens to be in the immediate vicinity. We don't really know if Silver has previously expressed worries about the difference in his life span versus those of fae either, but I'd imagine this is something he had to learn for himself and come to terms with, much like the discovery of his adoption. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this "fucked him up" since it wasn't touched on or implied prior to book 7. Because of this, I don't get the impression that it's deeply concerning to Silver until the point it became relevant for his father and paying back the "debt" Silver feels he owes. (Then again, I acknowledge that perhaps these thoughts were not shared due to Silver's... unique style of communication.) I’m not going to speculate about the sleeping curse since we don’t fully understand how it works and I don’t want to make assumptions while I’m still uninformed.

While it’s true that Silver had limited interactions with people outside of Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek in his childhood, I wouldn’t attribute all of Silver’s characteristics to “he learned how to repress his emotions from them”. There were many other factors that contributed to the kind of person Silver would eventually become. His level-headedness comes in part from having to “grow up” fast since Lilia lacks the homemaking skills to look after him. Silver had to learn to cook (have you tasted Lilia’s food?) and clean (have you seen Lilia’s room?) in his place, as well as look after their cottage home whenever Lilia left on trips. He’s the calm that balances out his father. I’m not going to comment on Malleus since I’m not sure how frequently he visited Silver (which would impact the degree to which he affects him). Sebek, however, is also someone that Silver spent a lot of time with because 1) his grandpa already knows Lilia and 2) there are very few kids Silver’s age in Briar Valley. The circumstances just worked out that way. This also exposes Silver to Sebek and his family, as they looked after him on occasions when Lilia could not. Sebek’s two older siblings and parents, then, are also people Silver could look to as models. Otherwise, he seems to have mostly lived in their forest cabin and interacting with few living beings aside from the animals. He states that he rarely went to the capital (which we learn is because Lilia is banned from there) and that he didn’t even go to a middle school (implying Lilia home schooled him before NRC), so… yeah, he’s mainly isolated in the woods. This grants Silver a lot of time to slow down, to be introspective, and to consider both his own feelings and those of others. His awkwardness, then, may come from his social circle being small and not having an opportunity to interact with people beyond it. This creates a lack of awareness for how he may come off to others, as he’s so used to how acclimated Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek are to his usual demeanor. Silver doesn’t realize that his stoic expressions can read as unfriendly to others.

I think there are flaws in saying that Lilia is the type of person to hide his true emotions behind a smile: it’s true from the understanding of the PLAYER because we’ve learned in book 7 that Lilia kept secrets from Diasomnia. Silver’s origins, about the war, why he’s in a hurry to leave early, how Malleus hatched, etc. We as the players understand that Lilia tries to hide his own pain and suffering from those he loves. But… the issue is that Silver doesn’t know this (so how could he “copy” Lilia’s penchant for covering up his true emotions if he never picked up on the initial deception?). Silver fully trusts his father and does not really suspect Lilia of hiding anything from him (excluding maybe the occasional prank). Additionally, I would not conflate keeping secrets and hiding own’s emotions with discouraging sentimentality in Silver. Lilia has hard conversations with his son (like in book 7 right before he handed over the ring from Silver’s deceased parents), and that shows some degree of emotional intelligence and vulnerability. Isn’t he modeling a healthy way of dealing with feelings here? Isn’t Lilia right here, right now, telling Silver how proud he is of him? Lilia is able to be vulnerable too in these moments, regardless of what other secrets he may keep.

Another discrepancy is that both Lilia and Sebek (the ones whom Silver probably spent the most time with as a child, since Malleus had to stay in the castle and be trained and tutored) tend to “hide” their real feelings with very emotional methods (ie covering up one feeling with another feeling)—yet Silver himself didn’t learn to use do the same thing. If we include Malleus in the count, he’s the more consistently “emotionally repressed” character but still has his outbursts of rage and upset. Silver does not “copy” this either. He and Malleus are both calm, yes, but they come from different backgrounds which could breed this calm personality, not necessarily from one mimicking the other. (Silver was mostly in his cottage, Malleus is as in his castle.) This is, again, why I say that it would be faulty to attribute how Silver acts in large part or entirely to Lilia, Sebek, and Malleus. He has been impacted by far more than them and does not pull all of his knowledge on how to socialize from his dorm mates.

The last point I’d like to bring up is that wearing your emotions on your sleeve isn’t necessarily a good thing all the time, nor is it the only way one can express themselves. You can show your love through acts (Silver often thinks about what he can do to best support his father) or gifts too (Silver mentions Lilia puts a lot of thought into picking gifts for everyone). From this angle, we can see that Lilia (Silver’s primary caregiver and guardian) has demonstrated and taught healthy ways of expressing one’s feelings too, and how Silver is capable of reciprocating in his own ways.

Now, am I saying that Lilia and the others were perfect in modeling emotions to Silver? Obviously, no. Misunderstandings happened—but what’s important is learning and growing from them. For example, Lilia failed to understand that Silver might be hurt to learn that he was adopted and thus Lilia acted in a callous way by laughing. But given how their relationship in present day is not strained, we can surmise that Lilia and Silver made up and that Lilia has become more attuned to his son’s sensitivities (as Lilia states that he can easily read Silver’s emotions). Lilia says as much in Malleus’s Dorm Uniform vignettes, telling Malleus that humans have different sensitivities than fae do. A lot of the values Silver had—such as the importance of unity among the races—must have also been instilled in him through Lilia and extensive talks. Again though, Lilia’s not perfect and sometimes he acts in ways which still earn Silver’s ire (Endless Halloween Night is a big one). Malleus himself also makes multiple mistakes when interacting with humans (overstepping with his powers, not paying attention to times, scaring them with his presence, not making an effort himself to reach out). Sebek regularly insults them despite being half human himself. (That’s a whole other can of worms; I’d recommend this analysis for my thoughts on Sebek and his whole deal.) But what I really love about the Diasomnia found family unit is that they balance out each other's flaws really well. Silver's empathy is a great asset to the group, as he's often the one settling disputes between Sebek and his peers or apologizing for Lilia's mischief. He's simultaneously the "heart" of the group and, to some extent, also the "brains" when the others need to be reeled in.

Ultimately, I don’t agree with the suggestion that Silver is “afraid of trying to be sociable”, is “indifferent to socializing”, or that “he doesn’t think he is capable of socializing”. I don’t think Silver would find long, deep, intimate conversations “overwhelming” either (unless, of course, it relates to his own particular insecurities. Recall that he has given those speeches about his hopes for all races to be united; that requires a degree of vulnerability on his part and Silver laid it out smoothly. Lilia has also had tough conversations with him too!). Silver is not a socially anxious person; I think it would be more accurate to say that he comes off in the eyes of his peers as someone who is hard to approach because of how stone-faced he is. Silver himself does not fear or shy away from socializing. He just speaks in a plain way to get his point across and because that’s how he communicates—it’s not the result of him wanting to close the conversation ASAP so he can get away. His sleepiness is another factor to consider (Silver worries others think of it as impolite), but it never outright discourages him from speaking to people to avoiding social interactions altogether to minimize the drowsiness impacting his life. He tries to find ways to stay more alert instead (trying to fix the root of the problem rather than a symptom of it)

I think an excellent encapsulation of Silver’s entire character is his Dorm Uniform vignettes; in them, Silver’s classmates express that they think he is unapproachable and that he has no emotions. Silver overhears these comments and becomes concerned that his peers do not like him, so he asks his friend, Kalim, and Jamil for help learning how to smile. We then learn through a series of comedic events that it is physically hard for Silver to smile or to make a different facial expression which matches his feelings more. What finally gets Silver to smile naturally is when he gets so lost in an activity that he isn’t even aware his expression has changed. Lilia and Malleus, who are watching him, remark on Silver’s uncanny empathy. Then Lilia says, “[Silver] conceals some powerful emotions beneath that poker face of his.” To this, Malleus corrects him: “I wouldn't say he actively conceals [his emotions], per se. I suspect he simply doesn't betray much emotion.” Lilia agrees: “I suppose that's fair. Not that I find him difficult to read, of course!” It’s then that Silver’s classmates realize they were wrong about him and they begin to act more friendly.

To summarize: Malleus outright says it in Silver’s Dorm Uniform vignettes; it’s not that Silver does not have emotions or finds it difficult to communicate in a sentimental way, it’s that peers tend to misread him because of his face and his frank way of speaking. He thinks a lot of the people around him and makes numerous attempts to adjust his behavior so that they are more comfortable being around him. He asks for help and offers help in return. His one weakness is not being able to fully come to terms with the fact that Lilia loves and accepts him as he is, that Silver IS enough for the family he now finds himself in. He may have learned things from Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek, but those three should NOT be held entirely accountable for Silver being the way he is. Several other factors played a role in shaping him to be the cool, level-headed knight we know and love. Silver is… Silver, and sometimes Silver is hard to read or struggles with self-acceptance! That’s just who he is, and that’s part of his appeal.

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