#ronin: what are relationships i don't know anything about them

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Not a request, but a question! I really want to post some TMNT writings again. However I noticed that 18+ (gore, smut other dark themes) seem to be a matter of heavy debate. Such as you can't age up character or if you're now an adult you cant interact/write/draw for the fandom anymore. I left years ago because of how bad it got. Do you get a lot of hate for your writings? Or has it died down after all these years?

No, I get no hate. I've only gotten two mean-ish comments, and none of them had anything to do with my 18+ writing.

Dark themes, and to a certain degree, gore, has always been part of the TMNT universe. Leo's PTSD pattern in the tv shows, Raph's homelessness in the IDW, Donnie gradually becoming more and more robot in both comic and tv, and of course Mikey in The Last Ronin. And then there is the ROTTMNT movie. That was some dark stuff, and if you think about it, there was body horror as well.

Sex is not new to the TMNT comics either. Donnie is the only turtle that haven't lost his virginity in cannon. We have to remember that the turtles have been in relationships and have had crushes ever since the Mirage days, so sex doesn't seem that far off.

I'll say it's all about being comfortable with what people are reading. That's why I put warnings and try to put it into a genre. There are people that just don't feel comfortable with these themes, and that's perfectly fine. At the same time, some people find that by interacting and inserting themselves or other people into the story, it ruines it, and that too I understand. To me it's almost an art form to write fan fics and inserts that does not mess to much with the story and plot, yet at times it's fun to play around with "what ifs".

With all that being said, I too do have things I don't feel comfortable writing about, with non-con being a BIG no for me. At the same time I don't mind writing about age gaps, as long as the youngest person partaking is at least 18. But with fictional characters that we know age over time, I don't see a problem with pushing their age so it matches the theme of the story. That's also why I often by my smut a few year after the main events took place (unless people want me to write about a specific scene, in which I still push their age up to an acceptable place that I too would feel comfortable with).

Maybe TMNT fans are adults today, so it would be strange not to let adult have a go and make fan content, even if it's 18+:)

[dumb-duxky]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

Yall I think I'm abouta yap with this one 😼

I've watched at least a little of every tmnt out there, but I'm going to go with the ones I know more of (sadly, I have not been able to read the IDW comics other than the last ronin... 🤧)

2012:

I'm a huge fan of Mikey and Leatherheads friendship. Like, given Mikey isn't really taken seriously by his brothers, Leatherhead does amd greatly respects him too. He sees the type of intelligence and empathy Mikey has and greatly appreciates it. They are always genuinely happy to see eachother and I think it's cute, especially since literally everytime they see eachother Mikey hugs him 🤧 I really wish I saw more of that (guess I gotta draw it myself lmao or look harder) But I have read fanfiction with it, particularly "Hey Sunshine" by leaden on Ao3. (I gotta catch up ☠️) but I wish I saw more of this, because genuinely they are really good friends. And honestly this one might be my favorite, I'm always so happy seeing them together on screen.

I would go into the brothers relationships, but I'd just end up yapping too much ☠️

Rise:

Donnie and Shelldon is genuinely such an adorable father son duo, along with Senior Hueso and Leo. I find it really adorable, and just thinking of these make me happy. Sadly I don't have much to say, given it's been a while since I've last watched (other than the movie lmao) I haven't seen much of this either, sadly. (Sometimes in fanfiction or art, which is always a lil treat 😋)

Mutant Mayhem:

Sadly the show didn't give us much on dynamics on the brothers (though I am happy to see each one grow independently, kinda a twist from others of working together, or mostly focusing on Leo or raph) but from what I saw loved Raph and splinter. In other iterations, Raphs anger was something he needed to control, and while that is valid, splinter clearly saw that Raph was getting overwhelmed by the environment and sent him out. I just really liked that, or I just really liked Raphs portrayal of anger in general in that episode. I guess I have seen this in a fanfiction, where it's generally the boys have a great relationship with splinter. But I can't remember right now so I might come back and edit this lmao.

I was also pleasantly surprised by Leo's friendship with April. It wasn't another Donnie situation, and it showed that first and foremost, they are genuinely friends who get along with eachother. I just really liked that. I actually have seen some art on this, and it makes me happy, bc this is a ship I fw ngl.

I'm gonna stop rn before I make a 4 page essay no one would read ☠️ anyways thank you so much for the question ^^ sorry it was a few days late, didn't see it till now (3 am...) but I'm happy you asked >_< I'm always happy to yap about whatever lmao

[yandere-loveer]

✧ Yandere Mikey / Miguel Angel (The last Ronin) Concept ˚ ♡

English is not my first language, not at all. But I will make the effort. I will start accepting all kinds of requests, but obviously everything has limits.

TW : Obsession, murders, mention of kidnapping, forced relationship, sensitive topics.

Oh honey. Don't even think he's going to be a fairy tale next to this mutant.

He is so tired and depressed from losing his loved ones, then being disturbed in his little conscience.

He still sees his brothers, talking to them and bothering him even for the slightest mistake or situation he has to act on. He didn't even feel like he was living in this miserable life for him.

I imagine you know him from before it was like this and he will pass the death of his family through the foot clan while now with April and Casey in hiding.

He is no longer the same teenager who was funny and optimistic, who loved pizza and his family while going out to fight crime with his brothers on the streets of New York.

Because of the loss and loneliness that he had to go through, he had to make it that way. Even when she saw you, she was speechless and began to make a face of deep sadness, relief to see that you and April were actually still alive.

This Mikey is a true yandere when he has all these traumas, he is overprotective and paranoid but unfortunately his brothers in his mind are not much help.

He had fallen in love with you when he was still a teenager but never had a chance to tell you. This time he is determined not to let you go again and to be able to express what he feels for you.

He always wants you to be with trusted people like April and Casey (only a little) but she prefers you to be by her side so she can keep her eyes on you and see that you are protected.

When you're not watching what's going on and you want to go alone somewhere in this prison called "New York" don't be surprised if you feel watched by someone the whole time you're out. Mikey will receive you when you just arrive at the entrance of where April and her daughter live.

Sometimes he usually has nightmares about his past and the fear he feels when imagining that you end up with the same fate as his brothers and his father. So when he wakes up a little nervous, he always goes to see if you are with him by his side.

If someone hurts you too much in the war you are all in, be prepared for Mikey to become more violent than before. He kill and without leaving a single evidence of the existence of who hurt you.

He feels that you are the only thing that motivates him to continue living and put aside his suicidal thoughts apart from feeling that destiny is incomplete. He teaches you and expresses if you have more confidence in him what happened when he was in the mountains after learning that Donnie and his father were dead but with honor.

He focuses on completing the mission to avenge his beloved family but he still can't help but notice you and give you his time. Then he will think that they should be together otherwise it would be too late like when he almost lost you as a teenager. So you're his official girlfriend without you realizing it.

If they weren't in the same place with other girls, he would have kidnapped you as a last resort if he sees that it's too dangerous and your life is at risk.

Don't be surprised if when you see him he's fighting or just talking to nothing, it's just his dear brothers talking about his crush or what he has to do now. Which makes Mikey very angry that they tell him what to do all the time.

You're not going to leave this poor mutant turtle who still can't forget everything he lost. Or Yes?

" I'm not going to let the bastard that is Oroku Hiroto or anyone else do anything to you, did you hear me? "

[emstargazer]

Not sure if these will turn out to be just recurring OCs with a brief backstory or a full-on written fanfic centered around these two or some other format, but either way... Berserker Armor inspired Titan whose Pilot mimics the arsenal Guts uses throughout the manga when paired together with the Titan's loadout and whose relationship with them has an ominous side reminiscent of Guts and the Beast of Darkness.

Does anyone on planet Earth see the vision?

For which audience is this post supposed to cater, you ask?

Me, I am the audience.

Don't worry, I'll be reasonable and put my self-indulgent rambling under a readmore. Beware of some minor spoilers for Berserk.

Considering Vanguard-class Titans are "almost as well armored as a Legion, with the dash capacity of a Ronin" I feel like it fits best class-wise, but it would be a heavily modified Vanguard-based that sacrifices a lot of its defensive capabilities for an incredibly aggressive self-destructive approach to combat. It would also take some design inspiration from Ronin Prime, specifically the concept art (inheriting similar legs and the plates on its sides that remind me of air vents, which I may repurpose to introduce a cooling system) while still preserving the overall structure of a Vanguard. So think of Ronin Prime(Concept) +BT(or FS-1014 or SDV) +The Armor.

They utilize a unique Sword Core that would at first be identical to the regular until it one day develops to have the same, yet way amplified benefits with one additional being the ability to "keep itself together". What I mean by that is while the core's active it's able to keep most of its components functional despite sustaining damage that would otherwise prove to be fatal by using technology similar to the Gravity Star ordnance which upon activation would bend space so that said components can still work in unison, albeit semi-efficiently. It doesn't necessarily repair, but it does let you keep on going for longer even after your Doomed State health bar has completely depleted(yeah, I'm also trying to look at this from a gameplay perspective).

Hmm, sounds familiar.

But the real fun lies in its major drawbacks. First of all, if it does get to a certain point of no return, you won't be able to eject and once the Titan Core ability ends an explosion is imminent. Basically making every instance you use the core into a likely suicide mission. A risky last resort rather than an ultimate ability.

Secondly‚ after every usage the neural link gnaws at your psyche, leaving you with a mental scar, meaning your mind(notably your judgement and self-control) gradually deteriorates over time.

This issue derives from the very nature of the Titan, because its AI is designed to have such a strong link that it inadvertently has access to something which can only be detrimental in the long run and that is the deeper unconscious layer of the Pilot's Mind.

Initially, Titan's AI will have its own set of characteristics, but the better the link becomes, the Titan's control over filtering those unconscious thoughts will falter. Until eventually, the AI splits into 2:

The seemingly original, true self(I know, one may argue that's not the right choice of words, but I disagree considering we've seen how far the Titan's AI can evolve with BT)

An independent personification of the Pilot's Jungian Shadow(I wonder what kind of dynamic will they and the Pilot have, image below definitely unrelated c;)

Now, about the Pilot. Anything relating to their backstory before being assigned with [insert Titan's designated name](been researching military alphabet and code words for ideas, still haven't thought of something that sticks) is currently undetermined.

What is set in stone is they don't have any idea either due to being revived as an advanced simulacrum, until they achieve a complete awakening(like Ash or Revenant) by the unique link they've established as such. The Titan could give insight into the inner workings of their mind that they couldn't fathom as a human, let alone a digital backup of human consciousness with restrictions(ego retention system).

Once awakened, their main objective is to uncover lost memories through the use of said link. The catch is in the drawbacks and the eventual separation of the Titan's AI.

First one is mostly self-explanatory, even in the case that the Pilot's mind component remains intact and gets miraculously brought back into a spare robotic body, it would certainly be a limited resource(same with the Titan) and there would always be a high chance of data corruption.

Second one turns their journey into a ticking time bomb, making every subsequent combat encounter push the Pilot closer to inescapable insanity.

Birth of the second AI inside the datacore causes the Titan's original self to fight for control and question whether the other one is a part of who they are despite originating from someone else, while the Pilot can only bring words of encouragement from inside the chassis.

A story about a Titan and Pilot who both struggle with their identity leading them to form a connection that goes beyond the neural link itself. Exploring how in the journey of self-discovery what one might find to be a part of who they are may in fact be working against them and despite that one should learn to accept it and acknowledge its existence in order to have any control over it. All while affirming interpersonal connection as one of the necessary steps in learning such a lesson.

With hopefully a lot of emotional damage sprinkled along the road.

c:

To the arsenal we go, Titan's loadout would consist of:

an energy-based weapon with a repeating crossbow-like mechanism visually resembling the Ballista from Doom Eternal.

And, you guessed it, The Giant Ass Sword which is preferably going to be unnecessarily longer and thicker than Ronin's canon broadsword to the point where it should theoretically be ineffective, but as a consequence of their unique fighting style and years of accumulated battle experience they'd be able to find unconventional ways to use such attributes to their advantage. Why not use a standard edition broadsword like all the others? Both of them got too attached to their sweet heap of metal^_^. Another significant distinction from it is that instead of using electric charge to produce the Arc Wave, it would harness it to send a shockwave through both the "phase dimension"(one used by Ronin, Simulacra Pilots and others) and our own making it able to damage even those currently occupying the alternate dimension.

Again, one might guess where the general idea comes from.

When it comes to the Pilot's design, I'm keeping it mostly unknown for now. They will be using Pulse Blade since it's the closest thing to Guts' throwing knives and one of their arms will have a use as an Anti-Titan weapon. As ordnance, a large amount of miniature frag grenades.

Ok, I think going into deeper intricacies would be overkill, so I'll put my foot on the brake here.

If you've read this far, I'm beyond grateful you took your time to go through the amalgam of my sporadic unorganized ideas.

Here's a treat!

[pubbee]

i can't remember if you've ever said anything about it before but as the resident Ronin Enjoyer do you have any thoughts on some of the more irredeemable or straight up bad parts of his writing (i.e. what he did to zane in skybound and possibly ToE? but mainly the one thing with nya. like i'm not gonna fault anyone for not liking him but i personally feel like that never should've been written in in the first place and it sucks seeing people act like liking him is a sin. you know :/)

Ronin my guy my scrungle he is not the best man but also he suffers from bad writing lol. The Nya thing.... As much as I personally prefer to pretend it didn't happen because it feels like in the early days of Ninjago the writers consistently kept forgetting that she's supposed to be a minor (SKYBOUND) as well as making her face the occasional casual sexual harassment/assault (evil Jay forcefully kissing her), this is actually consistent with Ronin's character because:

Yeah.

Granted, the reason I prefer to ignore this aspect of him is because it's just plain stupid and he gets no real backlash from it in canon. And with Misako it's very much out of nowhere and Ronin doesn't even seem like he's interested. He erased her memories to pit her against the ninja and nothing else, but for some reason it was decided she should be putting her hands all over him like that 💀 However, I don't blame people for looking at this and deciding he's unlikable for it.

With the Zane stuff, I look at him taking Zane and Pixal to Chen's as something he had no other choice to do. It's kinda confirmed in the book Way of the Departed that it's the case (though my own reasoning is a bit different compared to the book), but at the same time, this was during a time he was a bit more eviler lol. So if he did this with evil intent then well he's grown since then at least.

As for what he did to Zane in Skybound, tbh fucked up and I'm glad it was technically undone. But Zane and Pixal were also kinda treated like objects that season in general too. The way Zane treated Pixal, the general existence and then complete dismissal of Echo, and whole thing with the Mechanic.... not great.

For me, personally I see Ronin as a tech lover who loves R.E.X so much he considers it a person, and by extension would respect Zane and Pixal in that regard, especially after befriending them but that's just me 🤷

But tbh there is something Ronin has done that is far more heinous than being robophobic and a creep, and that's what he did to the Islanders. I do not like season and what it did to him. Of all the people he goes and robs, it's the isolated people no one knows exists lmao. He doesn't just take their money, he takes their food, and takes so much they resort to human sacrifice. Like what the fuck. This felt more like something maybe SoR Ronin would do. And he was treated more like a common villain with no real history with the ninja at the end, too.

I don't wanna fully say it's out of character for Ronin to rob an entire island of people though, because I do feel like if desperate enough, he would go back to how he was before. I don't think he's above betraying the ninja, or hurting innocents because we've been shown he's afraid of dying (or at least going to super hell lmao) and is overall untrustworthy. But the thing is, he was fine! He had a deal with the Commissioner and was doing fine! Why make him do this, and then arrest him with the very people he used and put back in prison himself and then have him be just.... totally fine and friends with everyone again, prisoners and ninja alike lmao. It's bad writing to me. And after his development and and his relationship with the ninja, it seems very ill fitting to have him be the one lead the prisoners on the island when the Mechanic and/or Ultra Violet are right there.

So yeah I mean, if people don't like him I get it. At face value he is not a great guy lol. But for me there's a lot to like about him just because I really like his type of character when done well. He was a great influence for Nya and I love their relationship. He just suffers from poor writing just like.... every other character in this show 💀

And people better not be harassing or hating on others for liking a goddamn LEGO of all things. Please there are real problems to have. I'll continue loving Ronin regardless if others consider it a crime to lol I'm a grown bitch and can do whatever I want ❤️

[flockofcrowsinatornadoofcreation]

Roadrunner!

• used to have a Scottish accent, but now she sounds more Western? Adopted Ronin's style of talking

• will literally eat anything. Will she like it? Maybe, maybe not. Will she eat it? You betcha

• demisexual / bisexual

• ooh boy she's sassy. She is ready to throw hands with anyone who dares look at her wrong. She will not hesitate. She will bite you.

• Picked up Ronin's smoking habit

• Typically wears her hair long, but might cut it short later? She'd look cute with short hair

• Preferred weapons are staff weapons, especially the yan yue dao (also called the guan dao) and the bo staff.

• Best friends are Ultra Violet (surprisingly), Nya, and maybe Morro?

• Long thin scar across back from the event that took her family (a wooden beam fell on her)

• She's 20 during The Island

History:

• In the events if Legacy of the Green Ninja, her apartment block was ransacked. Her family hid Sequoia and her little brother Gabe during the attack, but everyone else was killed

• When no one came to help them, and with Sequoia injured and Gabe getting weaker by the day from hunger, Sequoia went out in search of food. She didn't get very far before her injury overcame her and she passed out hiding in a dumpster.

• Ronin, through miracle or chance, found her, asked her where her family was, and took her back to the remains of her apartment to help care for Gabe. But Gabe had disappeared, with the only sign of his existence bring the pictures on the wall and his blood on the floor. (He had been kidnapped, but we don't know until later)

• Ronin took Sequoia under his care, raising her as best he could. He taught Sequoia to distract people while Ronin scammed them.

• When Sequoia was 13, he taught her how to drive so he had a getaway driver while Rex needed fixing. It was the best day of her life. Sequoia quickly gains the name "Roadrunner" for her skill at "running the roads", as she calls it

• At 18, she is with Ronin as a part if the Resistance. She doesn't officially meet the ninja, though, merely takes orders.

• During the events of The Island, Roadrunner is captured with Ronin, but is let go with a warning because she was raised to be a thief, and therefore isn't really responsible for her actions (Ninjago law headcanon)

• Roadrunner stays at Laughy's under the watchful eye of Dareth. She is caught sneaking out to rescue Ronin, and is sent to the Monastery in hopes that Sensei Wu can knock some sense into her. No one is very happy about this, except for maybe the police commissioner, who has had his hands full with Ronin and doesn't want to have to deal with Roadrunner as well.

Relationships:

• Ronin: Basically her dad. He taught her everything she knows. Adopted her in every way except legally. They have a very strong bond, built on trust and loyalty.

• Cole: love-hate relationship. Neither of them are sure what type of tension is between them, but fsm, there's tension.

• Lloyd: tbh, he reminds her of her little brother (at least, what she imagines he would be like at that age). Everyone was convinced that Roadrunner hated Lloyd, but she was just avoiding him to prevent stirring up bad memories.

• Nya: passive-aggressive partners in crime. That's the best way I can describe their dynamic

• Kai: they're both absolutely feral. Kai was angry about the misunderstanding that Roadrunner hated Lloyd, and would always act defensive of Lloyd, even when he didn't need to. Later, when they find Roadrunner's bother, Kai realizes that she doesn't hate Lloyd, she just misses her brother

• Zane: she thought Cole had a crush on Zane and was feeling jealous, which was confusing, because she doesn't like Cole (she does and won't admit it.) Once she actually starts talking to Zane, she realizes that he's not so bad.

• Pixal: Pixal is strongly defensive of Zane, and Roadrunner hating on Zane made her hate on Roadrunner? But then they figure out the misunderstanding and start a girlboss club with Nya

• Jay: surprisingly good friends. They help each other fix their vehicles and whatnot, and bounce ideas off each other

• Wu: he just lives there

• Gabe (little brother): he was kidnapped by the early Sons of Garmadon and taught that his sister abandoned him. He hates Roadrunner with a burning passion.

Close up of her tattoo:

[atopearth]

Bakumatsu Renka Shinsengumi Part 8 - Saitani Umetaro Route

Out of all the LIs, I think the one who most obviously likes Suzuka is Ume. He always makes time to talk to her, checks up on how she is and how she's going etc, he's a good friend all the time and that makes me happy. It's nice that Ume is straightforward about his feelings, but that straightforwardness just makes Suzuka think he's flirty and joking so it backfires on him haha! I don't blame her, it's hard to take him seriously when he says it so much. One thing I enjoyed is that when Ume helped her out against some ronin, it wasn't because she was incapable of handling them herself but because he cares so much for her that he wanted to protect her, and you can really see that. He can be too much though lmao, sneaking into her room at night is crazy🤣 He really is the best guy when it comes to talking though haha, he does his best to cheer Suzuka up and always makes sure to visit her as much as he can despite how busy he must be, and he's always honest about his feelings. He also makes sure to do fun things and give her whatever new things he gets his hands on, he's basically her boyfriend haha!

It was really sweet when Ume made sure to look after her and even got red bean soup for her when she wasn't drinking at the party and didn't have much of an appetite. I think the fact that he personally went to get food for her was really kind of him. Lmao at Suzuka chasing after Ume to get him to buy dango because he ignored her when he was trying to escape from the Mimawarigumi. He's really spoiled her too much haha. The CG of an embarrassed Suzuka punching Ume is hilarious. He totally deserved that for being a pervert hahaha. I actually feel bad for Suzuka though. She does agree and like Ume's ideals, but she can't betray the Shinsengumi and Lady Teruhime because of the repercussions. At least she properly voiced that she wished that she could go with Ume. It's sad that she regrets not going with Ume and thinks about how much happier she would be beside him. Life is tough when you're tied down by responsibility and human connections.

I didn't expect Oishi to be killed in this route, and I'm sad that in Ume's last moments, all he got to say was to ask for Suzuka's life to be spared. I wanted them to get to talk more. I wanted them to get to share their feelings properly. Now it's just sad. Even though it's revealed that Ume gets to survive, it's kinda sad that he was basically imprisoned for the whole time the war was going on and was only able to escape after everything was over. Considering his ideals and dreams for the future, it's sad that he was powerless and wasn't able to do anything he wanted to do. But it's nice to see that his desire for Japan to adopt foreign things whilst keeping what makes it Japan still remains. His heart was not crushed and I guess we should be happy about that.

Overall, I like Ume but I have to say his route doesn't really hit the right keys for me. Personally, I really enjoyed all the events with him talking with Suzuka, flirting with her, cheering her up and just getting to know her better in general. You could really feel how much he cared and how much he liked her so it was sweet to watch how they both came to enjoy each other's company quite a bit and developed a mutually enjoyable relationship they both wanted to keep even if they didn't put the label of a romantic relationship on it yet. However, I think the route really didn't delve into his background as Sakamoto much at all, and his "death" was quite bland with no impact, and it didn't help that it just kinda ended with, he was stuck somewhere but now he's back and we can live happily ever after lol. It felt like the writers weren't sure what to do after his "death" and what kind of happy ending it should be so in that aspect, the ending was quite disappointing for me even though I enjoyed their romance quite a bit.

[izzysarchivedblogs]

THAT'S WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO END.

They compliment each other, said something real to the other about them. Clint simply wanted to point out that the Tony who was talking to him, was one he had known and seen before, that was the man he respected. Than Tony had to say something about who he was, the archer that he was, and maybe trading compliments wasn't normal.

It's not like he would have never done it before. IN RECENT YEARS, it was harder because of the drinking problem getting really, really bad. He's always had the problem, but it's gets bad sometime. IT GETS WORSE.

That was that, and than Tony is schooling him with a look. Stopping in his steps, because the other man was demanding such attention. Fixing a gaze to him, and Clint hopes his face isn't showing a frown. THE TALK SOUNDS SERIOUS. The plastic bag is clutched at a little tighter than anything else as Tony speaks.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ⸺⸻ Clint hasn't been thinking, that's not what had been exactly on his mind. It's been mostly Kate, and Barney, and two of his exes, and than everyone he's wrong over his whole Ronin stunt. Now he has to think about this, about Tony and them, the US, and than what other people would think. What Tony thinks of him, and than what other people would think of them. WHAT OTHERS MAY ALREADY BE THINKING ABOUT HIM.

But now he was thinking bout them, about him and the us of it. Clint wants to look away as Tony calls out what the thing they had was. WHAT IT HAD BEEN WHEN HE WAS DRINKING. Volatile. Toxic. Hate fuckin to shut each other up. PUT IT THAT WAY, IT WAS FOUL.

Clint feels an internal recoil, hopes that it doesn't show because he's not upset with Tony for this. It's out of left field, something he was being blindsided. It did hurt to hear some of this, to know the reality of that because THERE WAS SOMETHING. Maybe it was only something bad, but than there's more than just that. There's years of a friendship and genuine care because of that, right?

NOT JUMP IN. Clint knows that too, had his own goals and plans, that he needed to be confident with sobriety and today he was not. HE NEEDED TO GET WELL, and he was working on that, wanted to be confident with who he was and his sobriety. Clint's finding that, doing the steps and working hard for himself, for a lot of reasons than just him. Clint wanted to reclaim himself, he feels comfortable in his own skin for the first time in months.

YET, ALL THAT TONY IS SAYING IS WHAT HE RESPECTS. This is an uncomfortable conversation, but it's not a bad one. It stings a little, draws back a reality.

❝ I, uh, said it myself; I respect you, Tony, and that matters. ❞ There's respect for the line that is drawn there, the boundary that Tony keeps that he won't throw out his own work with himself. HE NEEDED TO HEAR THAT.

If you do want something with ME, you need to be sober. He gets that the IT, was a relationship and something real; that he would be bad for Tony he drinks, if he slide backwards and said fuck it. CLINT DOESN'T WANT TO. Deep down, he doesn't, and he just has to fight. Keep fighting, because he wants to be sober; wants to be the better man. Clint wants to be sober, and he does want something with Tony. Or at least the shot.

❝ Y'know I worried you do a lot, been doing a lot, too much for me; that you weren't taking care of yourself for ⸺ ❞ ME. The reassurance is good though. He needed that, wanted it, and should have brought it up. Clint did not want someone else's sacrifice for helping him. ❝ Good to know you aren't. ❞ It was good to know, and Clint thinks that right now he can't promise to be sober and that he wants a relationship, wants to figure out if maybe there was something real, maybe there was something there.

BEYOND WHAT TONY SAID THEY WERE. He hoped.

Clint knows he'd be hooting them in the foot if he made any promises now, if he said anything more than his worry there. He hopes that, at least, conveys to Tony the message that he cared. NOW HE HAD THIS TO THING ABOUT. It felt like a doozy to tack onto the day, and he thinks he'll turn in a little early tonight IN HIS ROOM. They couldn't be jumping into anything after all, and can't go forming habits that won't help Clint with his sobriety journey.

He doesn't know what to say after that, but there was that ultimatum there as well; whether or not it was intended. It was necessary, and it does apply a bit more pressure but Clint's got a lot of that already. HE'S NOT DOING THIS FOR TONY. He's got his own reasons, but the hope of kissing the man was a motivator, even if he hates the struggle and tomorrow night he wants a drink, even if he kind of wouldn't mind something alcoholic and fruity to make him feel a little woozy and relaxed right now.

Clint doesn't ask what prompted Tony to point that out; to bring this up but it needed to be said as uncomfortable as this was. Maybe Tony won't like completely sober Clint or like whoever Clint finds himself out to be, whoever he wants to end up being. THAT'D HURT, but it could happen.

There wasn't any guarantee with them, but Clint knew his best shot was sticking with it.

A LOUD LAUGH IS BARKED WHEN TONY CURSES TO HIMSELF. He doesn't know what he was cursing about, having been half-dissociated when Tony had been fussing about dinner and Clint kind of feels himself fading out, but the reminder that he promised Brandy a little time and a bedtime story keeps him with his wits about him.

Clint devours as many garlic knots as he can, and Jarvis can't be offended because this was only day two of the rest of his life. Clint declines to say anything about tonight, more catching up with Jarvis about any gossip that he has heard. THE MAN USE TO BE CLINT'S MOLE AFTER ALL. They talk further about the lounge that Janet was setting up, not that Clint ever sees himself attending in the future but his future right now was short-sighted. Only two months at a time, and he needed to feel stable enough to live on his own again and reclaim the rest of his life.

BEFORE HE FORGETS, he does mention to Tony that his therapy appoint was in three days from now and where it was going to be. So he'd appreciate a ride there and than to be picked up. HE'LL START GOING OUT AND GTTING OUT ON HIS OWN NEXT WEEK, but with how draining everything was right now; there was comfortable to be had in having Tony take him there and be greeted by his face afterwards.

The glass of chocolate milk means a lot to him, to see it there without asking, and it helps so much. IT'S WHAT HE NEEDS, WHAT HE WANTS. The drink to substitute and curb any craving.

Clint likes the time he got to play with Brandy, a little peekaboo and just talking to her, telling her little nonsensical things. When they are sitting at the dinner table, Clint scarfing down everything he could there is definitely amusement in his eyes as he looks at Tony. Fondness too, but this moment was more that he wanted to laugh.

❝ I'm not helping you out by feeding you right now, another time ⸺⸻ Didn't you learn anything from last month and in general? How long have the Avengers been raising her, you would think you all would have your places ready for her. ❞

A thought than hits him because everyone that Tony had listed caring for Brandy didn't exactly strike him as the caregiving parent baby type, which Bobbi had teased him about secretly being. ❝ Wait, you guys do realize, that like a baby is long term; like Brandy's gonna need you guys for eighteen years, probably longer if you're so gungho about no one or other solution being right with her powers. ❞

There's that thought, that wonder if he and Bobbi had worked thing out; if they hadn't broken up after trying to date again than he would've asked her about adopting this baby. He knows any relationship, he'd have been in he would have asked, would have thought about that. EVEN NOW, if he wasn't an alcoholic and involved in this; than he would put his hat in.

HE HAD REALLY BEEN SERIOUS ABOUT A FAMILY ONCE, ABOUT A BEING A DAD. He had even been thinking about who he would like to put a vote for to be chairman, who he'd like to call out to take on active Avenger status in his and Bobbi's place when they would take time off to be parent to a newborn. Go onto reserves themselves for that.

❝ Right? ❞

Tony can't help but laugh as Clint tacks Avenger on to the end of his sentence. His eyes drop and he shakes his head again. "Yeah. Okay. I know what you mean. Thank you." He looks up at him, fixing him with his gaze. "I don't know if you've been thinking about me or us in the 'what other people think' category. Because I am very aware that the thing we had before was when you were drinking. What we had before was volatile and toxic, Clint. We were hate fucking to shut each other up. I'd kiss you, and I'd want to drink because I could taste it on you. I know that rehab and your therapist - and shit me too. We've all said you need to not jump into a relationship for your sake. That you need to get well first and be at least semi-confident about who you are and your sobriety. But specifically if you do want something with me, you need to be sober. I can't do it with someone who drinks. That's bad for me. And I'm not risking the work I've done because of what I feel for you."

He didn't mean to make that sound like an ultimatum. It was meant to be more a reassurance, that he wanted whatever the sober Clint was. But even as he realized how it sounded, he knew it needed to be an ultimatum too. Clint could give up on his sobriety, but it meant that wasn't the only thing he'd be giving up on.

When he'd returned from the shop he handed the bag of garlic knots over and the two men continued their walk home.

It wasn't much further before they arrived back at the town house. He was hit by the scent of food cooking as soon as he stepped inside.

"Oh god damn it," he muttered. "I knew it."

The pizza went into the fridge, but the garlic knots joined the meal that Jarvis had cooked. He let Clint give his leg a break and play with Brandy while he helped Jarvis set the table and serve up the food. He even made Clint a glass of chocolate milk with the nicer syrup and set it at his spot on the table.

It wasn't too long that the three men were sitting around the table, Brandy perched in Tony's lap. "I didn't think to get a high chair. I should do that. This would be much easier if I had both my hands available," he said.

[basicallyjaywalker]

Does any of your Ninja ocs have elements?

What season are they introduced?

What are their relationships like with the ninja?

Good evening anon! Happy to answer :DD Putting it under the cut bc these tend to get. long

Most of my main OCs have elements! There are three (Willow, Jonathan, and Kyle, though the latter changes as of DR) who don't but otherwise we have

Nataly, Master of Love

Roxie, Master of Peace

Jasmine, Master of Nature (not related to Bolobo)

Jackie, Master of Magic

Hannah, Master of Music

Luna, Master of Dreams

Ivy, Master of Wind

And Master Twyla, Master of Light! (Not related to Paleman)

Their introductions are scattered throughout the seasons, but the basic breakdown is

S2: Jackie is introduced as a member of Garmadon's Stone Warrior Army who's a human. At the end of that season, she's pulled out of the rubble of a building and goes to study with Garmadon

S3: Jasmine is semi-introduced as a background character at Borg Industries, though she's not plot relevant yet. Jonathan is introduced as Borg's son but also isn't super plot relevant yet, he has his own adventure which is technically where we meet Willow

S4: Roxie, Nataly, Hannah, and Kyle are all introducing on the boat ride to Chen's, as well as Jackie and Jasmine. Roxie knows Cole from Marty Oppenheimer's, Lloyd and Garmadon recognize Jackie (who between S3 and S4 started studying under Master Twyla, a former friend of Garmadon's, as well), and everyone kind of recognizes Jasmine as someone from Borg Industries. At the end of the season, Twyla joins the EMs in the Corridor of Elders to fight. Prior to this she's only been mentioned by her students and a little by Garmadon

S5: Ivy is introduced when the ninja go to Ronin's pawn shop! She's Ronin's partner in crime and while she's there she and Nya form a strong bond too (daughters of Wojira my beloved)

No one is introduced in S6 or S7 really

S8: Luna is introduced by Harumi during Garmadon's resurrection. After it's presumed failure, she's taken to go stay with the Ninja

Another skip

S15: putting Willow here too bc this is when she's introduced to the Ninja at large during the fight with the Overlord 3.0. until now she's been chilling in the woods with occasional visits from Jonathan

Ofc having all of the relationships would be a bit messy but her are the basic breakdowns:

Nataly: she and Kai have a pretty close bond, partially forged on annoying the shit out of each other. Similarly, she and Lloyd bond a lot over complicated family situations (Nataly is Pythors's daughter, if that tells you anything) and also an innate sense of whimsy. Her related w the other ninja is pretty good! Aside from various pranks she's pulled on them

Roxie: she and Cole are really close and used to be best friends at Marty Oppenheimer's! I've made a post about their friendship before and if I can find it later I'll link it. She's also really close w Nya and I personally believe they have 3am conversations about femininity and womanhood that look like that one painting of Aristotle and the other guy. Gender studies minors after an exhaustive study sesh type jazz

Jasmine: uh. Complicated. She gets along great w Nya and Jay for a while due to a shared love of mechanics and inventing but she develops some more complicated feelings that lead to her shooting those relationships in the foot. She also discovers in S8 that she's Julien's daughter and thus Zane's sister but there is a veil of family drama over that entire thing, so that relationship barely manifests and becomes tense even after Zane finds out. She and Pixal get along amazing though. There's been no time to ruin that.

Jackie: she's probably the second closest to most of the ninja, but particularly Kai, Nya, and Lloyd. She and Kai are kinda like siblings. Often if a situation is full of Some Bullshit, they'll exchange a glance before diving in. They're like a pair in a buddy cop movie. Her and Nya are training together and I think would get along well by virtue of being insane tryhards. Her and Lloyd are really close after S4 and are the partners in crime to her and Kai's buddy cop movie. She develops a crush on him around the Oni Trilogy, but doesn't act on it because well. Oni Trilogy events. He starts reciprocating around the post-S11 pre-S12 era but they don't do anything about it til undetermined time (probably sometime pre-Seabound or post-Crystallized, they are definitely officially a couple as of Dragons Rising).

Hannah: Keeps to herself and her team but she and Cole get along pretty well. They share an appreciation for music, though she's a performer and Cole's not, so they mostly talk about artists they enjoy and he might help her hash them of her own work out. They're chill friends. She has this semi-antagonistic, semi-they just like to talk shit with each other, relationship with Kai. She's very tempermental and likes to call out his antics. Kai thinks it's kinda funny when she's mad about dumb shit so he purposefully pushes her buttons. It's like rats play wrestling. She and Kai and Skylor are in a triad (she's in a romantic relationship w Kai and a QPR with Skylor, Skylor and Kai are also in a romantic relationship) post-Crystallized. I would go into her relationship w/ Skylor bc there's a lot of backstory there, but this post is long enough as is.

Kyle: Mostly hangs around Jay and Cole. Third wheeling. He referees their Face2Fist matches to make sure no one is cheating. They're like... bros is the best way I can describe it. He and Kai are also pretty amicable on account of both getting the Older Brother Special Edition experience (orphans) and Kai hangs around Chen's, where Kyle works bc he and Skylor are actually besties

Luna: Her and Jay are nerding out over comics something fierce. I think she and him would host Jackbox nights for the team to boost morale too. She and Lloyd have a semi-tense relationship at first bc of the circumstances of their reunion but post-S10 they have a very "one is doing something very impulsive and stupid and the other is egging them on" sibling relationship. She would get him back into comics and also they'd do pinball tournaments at arcades that aren't about winning just about beating each other

Ivy: is kind of peripheral, but she and Nya get really close during S5 and stay in contact. They sit on the edge of a creek and skip stones while talking about random shit. Ivy brings her scrap for projects and Nya has to side eye her like "did you steal this" and Ivy never gives her a straight answer. I think she and Cole would get along too, funnily enough. They're just similar enough in their defiant rebellion that I think they could hold a respect for each other that manifests in sitting in the same room, quietly, working on projects and occasionally helping each other out. Ivy and Lloyd have a bond over bitching about Morro.

Jonathan: he and cole are vibing in a room together except Jonathan has no idea how to talk to him and so is nervously making small talk. Cole thinks he's neat and likes to hear him ramble about the various mechanical projects he's working on. They'd also bond about their dads. Jonathan feels like he has to live up to the Borg name and make his father proud (he already has, but anxiety's a bitch) and Cole gets that. He and Pixal are also practically siblings and are tight as hell. Between S7 and S8 he was def helping her w her Samurai X stuff.

Willow: she actually doesn't have relationships with the ninja! As said she's kind of a peripheral character who only interacts with Jonathan and her characterization and story rests within that bubble. If I were to let her out I think she and Wu actually would get along the best, which is a cop out, but there's something about feeling like the fate of the world is upon your shoulders and one wrong step will cause everything to come crashing that makes a silent shared cup of tea the most meaningful interaction you might ever have

Master Twyla: she's closer to Misako and Wu by virtue of those being her friends and comrades before, but I think she views the ninja as like. peripheral students. she's not their teacher and doesn't act like it but those are her kids in the same way the others are yk? She would see their parents in them but also feels a sense of pride at their own strengths and is happy to be someone they can talk to. I think she'd have a particular soft spot for Lloyd because she was closer to the Spin Bros and Misako so in another life that's her godchild

Thank you again for your question! I am so sorry this is so long! But this absolutely made my day to answer!

[slrsunfire]

💌 & 🌈? If you’re feel up to answering

have an amazing day :D

You are sweet, anon! Thank you ❤️

As for your questions...

[💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! ]

To be honest, I've mostly been focusing on my Space!AU, Ronin!AU and fem!Tobirama AU at the moment. I can confirm that I've gotten enough interest in my recent mdtb childhood betrothal a/b/o one shot that I'm going to be continuing that at some point? But you might've already known about that. I...uh... I've been asked to maybe do a collaboration with someone in the future so...something fun might come from that as well? I don't want to say anything yet, but I think you'd like whatever comes of it 😉

[🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?]

This is hard, whew. I did work on one in my old fandom that touched on cancer, death and some other hard topics and led to some complicated writing gymnastics. But as for Naruto where I've mostly settled, I'd say that A Constellation Undiscovered has been challenging to work on in a few different ways.

Tobirama's struggle with coming to terms with what he has done to Madara was very emotional for me to write. Though my own relationship with my husband is very, very strong, we've also had moments where a break down in communication has happened/expectations have gotten the better of us, leading to unintentional hurt on both sides. I found myself reflecting that in the story as a result, and it turned out to be a struggle to properly give it weight, while also staying realistic and in character to Madara and Tobirama as I'd perceive them to have behaved in the current framework of the story. It's been a very good challenge so far!

Original ask game post

[ducknotinarow]

Ramble about: Mikey! :D I wanna know all about the sunshine baby ;3; any verse and anything you wanna talk about

| Ramble about my muse

Imma do this where I start on things that apply to all takes of Mikey then more specific stuff for each verse I have. Mostly it'ss just be 2003 and 2012 though since Rise ive talked about so i left him out of his own section and 87 a bit newer so his bit will be the shortest.

Aromatic Pansexual. Mikey dosen't care to much for being in a romantic relationship this dosen't mean he won't he a bit content with his own interests and platonic relationships. It's why he tends to vicariously live and meddle a bit in his brothers/friends relationships.

He attracted to ones good vibes over their gender uwu. Mikey has actually gotten experience under his belt he just dosen’t talk about it. He can keep thinks more casual.

Genderfluid. pronouns? he will actually use any. he/him. They/Them. She/Her.

I have made a few mentions here and there on a few Mikey's being pretty open on their gender in responses. Like how Rise and 2012 both share an interest in painting their nails and their brothers nails or shells if they let him

Mikey dosen't use Labels however. He is just Mikey.

All Mikeys do like to paint their nails but they don't all push it to their brothers. 87/03 go with one color and its mostly just orange. 12/rise will mix it up and sometimes to mutplie colors at a time.

Highly empathic. Mikey is very attuned to others feelings it's why hes the likely the one you wanna meet first out of the four. He dosen't view many as threat which can be both bad and good. SO if Mikey DOSE feel someone can't be trusted it might pay to listen to him.

Has ADHD. Now really only the Rise version has this confirmed but well I always saw the case for 2003 and 2012 and I can see it easily applied to him over all.

Highly admires all his brothers. True to his place as the baby in the family Mikey looks up to his brothers and admires them for who they are. Often trying to emulate them.

Also because of that and his empathy hes highly aware of his older brothers hang ups and struggles. He knows Leo burned of Leader/How hard they are on themself (rise), He knows Raph carries the worlds problems on his shoulders, He knows Donnie sets his self worth into his mind and creations and feels like a failure if he cant fix an issue. Mikey is painfully aware of this all.

It why hes a tad more relaxed and laid back and tries to get them involved in his own antics. Or gets a bit to involved in what they are doing. Yeah hes annoying but its coming from a good place.

Super protective. Sorry to anyone who dates his brothers or takes a liking to them. Will he befriend you and be that siblings that steals his brothers partner away to hang with him? yes he will. But theres a slight motive behind it. He's making sure you good for his brothers and well thats a hard thing to crack to Mikey because of how highly he thinks of them. Even Casey someone he is friends with he has done this with.

That another thing out of all the turtles? Mikey is the one you don't wanna make mad. Sure Raph, Leo and even the rare times Donnie snap is something you wanna avoid but Mikeys worse. He aims to hurt. Last Ronin uwu is a good example or ya know 2012 throwing a whole couch out a window over Leo or Rise Mikey throwing buildings and boats even.

It's stated and shown in many of the shows and comics that Mikey could be one of the greatest ninjas out there, Even rivaling Leo's abilities. I feel last Ronin shows it most. He has often gotten the better of all his brothers when pitted against them at times. Mikey just lacks the drive, focus and motivation at times.

87

Has Severe stage fright, just can not handle the spot light funny enough.

Is a major gift giver for no reason at all. he just sees something and thinks his brothers would like it. Sometimes yeah its just a rock it made him think of them okay

Gets upset if his brothers disguises clash in anyway u-u just cause they live off trash don't mean they have to dress it.

Casey's look is trash but Casey scares him to much to say anything about it.

2003

Having to kill a deal with version of Splinter fucked with him a bit more than he has noticed. He felt guilty about it for months and made sure to be a bit more serious with training for a bit of time.

Loved super heros since his first comic book he ever came across.

His favorites are Captain America, Spider man, Batman and Wonder women.

It's what inspires him to feel he and brothers could do real good for the city. Not just simply hide away they can help people.

Helping others is his biggest goal. Even why he dawned the Turtle Titan persona.

Mikey dose a lot of charity work on his own. Making sure orphanages/foster homes are getting toys and essentials to the kids. Helping their homeless friends out with basics through the year.

What makes Mikey happiest? being useful to others even if he might complain here and there knowing he helped someone? it just feels nice.

2012

Admires Donnie the most of his brothers and is why he often is always in their lab. Also them always being team up as the B team adds to his closeness.

pretty open on his whole gender thing. He’s got a collection of dresses and wigs and such. It’s why he loves those teen magazines.

Loves to paint his brothers shells tends to keep him quite and it's a fun bonding moment for Mikey. At most it's just a small section hell do a small design on. But if they will let him go all out he will uwu

Has a few of online friends that he met from online games, he has actually met in person. Hes worried his brothers would freak out about it. So he kinds of keeps this fact to himself.

[movedto-mastcrmarksman]

These were the kind of conversations that were not easy to have; this kind of sense of pride and having to prove himself that's followed Hawkeye all his life. Admitting that he's no better than father was (even when he knew that wasn't the case); that he and his brother had not escaped the big bad DRINK. Sooner or later, he had to have these conversations with his fellow avengers.

That came with owning this part of him that he didn't necessarily have the fullest of choice in. Well, he had a choice later on; and talking with Carol about this was inevitable. Just as much as when they were superheroes on a team, handling THIS did not have to be a solo endeavor. Carol's one of the better avengers he could talk with about, which is one of those things he isn't thrilled they have in common now. Never will.

One of the hardest things was leaning on someone when the most formative years of his youth taught him to be a solo act, do everything himself. If he wanted to eat, he had to feed himself. ⸻ Clint's capable of learning from his mistakes, thinks he and Bobbi patched things up as nice as they could, was more than able to talk to Carol because his mind was heavy tonight.

She's the best person, beside a few others but he got along with Carol better. Tony, on the occasion, was someone he'd want to punch in the face. CAROL'S THE SAFER BET; plus he has other pillars of support. He can let one rest.

❝ You really don't wanna know. ❞ Honestly, he's still a little sore about that. ❝ Google me if you really wanna know. ❞ The archer shrugs, he's not sure that reason had ended up on the news. The ban was understandable and he wss working at getting back in Linda's good graces (he was still allowed at the clinic for injuries). ❝ He deserves at least one night at his girlfriend's. ❞

Besides, Carol really would be better to talk the ins and outs of being superheroes like they were. Were they the solution or the problem kind of thoughts weighing in on him.

Clint perks up over the mention of coffee, ever the coffee fiend and there was nothing to to stop him. ❝ I mean I was younger than seven when I had first tastes of it, and I wanna go play superhero. Beer buzz helped with sleep. You can do the math. ❞ That was simple enough to understand. Clint's sure she could psychoanalyze him just based on those two facts.

This wasn't really what he wanted to talk about, not his whole story but he'd tell her and they were bound a few odd days running into each other at meetings. SUPERHEROES. That's what they were talking right now because he's at the verge of another rebirth.

A new Clint, an all new Hawkeye. Possibly consider burning the ronin suit and identity as a whole. It's never been worn in good times in his life. ❝ It's the age old arguement ⸺ are we part of the problem? ❞ They've all fought over that. ❝ No one was doing anything, but does doing something mean I'm doing right thing. ❞ He sighs, allowing his inner thoughts to be shared, showing what his inner turmoil was about.

❝ Avengers mean everything too, you know the story. Lost boy finds a family. ❞ The problem, however, was the Avengers. It's the whole of superhero community that was the fighting. Can't make up its mind about how to help people, what was what. ❝ But y'know how many times can you watch that family fight? ❞ Don't they all know those wounds well; Carol's definitely familiar.

Speaking of relationships suffering, there's a few on his mind. Bobbi is always there. There's a part of him that if asked he would cite that her dying and them falling apart is really the destruction of him, the start of spiral to going dry years later. He'd have to be under torture to admit it, but it's a theory. ❝ Don't I know that? How many times have I had Katie mad at me? ❞

He should have done better with her. Shouldn't have lied from her, hidden things from her, should have called her when he needed help. Clint's heard all the stories about Derek Bishop. He's at least trying to be a better guy then her dad.

❝ I know I'm guilty of being part of the problem, go off and don't tell anyone, least of all Kate, and we share a name. ❞ He didn't even consider her, what it mean for her and what she's doing. There's a whole double accountability for him.

❝ Yeah, I know how to scree things up. ❞

IT'S A DARK THING TO carry on one's shoulders. even if it does get lighter through time & a lot of hard work, it's always there. a remnant of your weakest moments forever hanging over you. it could be easy to feel embarrassed & change the topic or avoid it altogether, but there's BRAVERY in facing the music.

many claim to understand or want to, but they need to have been down this road to know what it truly is like. a prisoner in your own skin, constantly fighting your own demons & surrounded by TEMPATIONS. it may sound dramatic, but that's precisely what it. an urge constantly scratching the back of your throat.

Carol feels for Clint. she may not be able to do much, but she can be here & listen.

❛   banned from showing up . . . yanno what, i don't want to know.   ❜ knowing the two of them, they could go down a rabbit's hole & get LOST in there. there are more pressing matters at hand. ❛   i will brew us some coffee.   ❜ she tells him & steps away to do just that.

❛   i've heard bits & pieces, but never directly from you.   ❜ she tells him, setting down his mug before sitting across from him. ❛   i don't pry. i know this isn't the most comfortable of topics.   ❜ she almost hates it more than talking to strangers because, at least, there's a certain distance with those you don't know. however, there's more VULNERABILITY involved with those constants in your life. ❛   sobriety will always be fresh, Clint. i want to tell you it gets easier, but there are good days, bad days & really ugly days.   ❜

there's a slight shift, a tad awkward because he's bringing up another thing that's pressing in her mind : the whole superhero persona. honestly, it's so tied to who she is that she struggles to see where Captain Marvel ends & Carol begins. is there even a distinction anymore ?

❛   not sure i'm the best person to answer that. i mean, i got kicked off the team because of my drinking problem. being an Avenger meant everything to me back then. i was really ashamed of myself.   ❜ she even blamed everyone around her because she couldn't take ACCOUNTABILITY for her actions. ❛   what we do matters, obviously. but i understand it comes with a lot of sacrifices. ourselves, our relationships suffer because of it.   ❜

[awlumii]

"i'm sorry."

he almost doesn't catch that: your whisper is almost inaudible among paimon's shriek as aether pokes her with raw fish. mona is sitting with fischl on the shore, trying to cheer her up, while xinyan is after the traveler's antics, giggling.

kazuha turns to face you, leaving the half chopped vegetables be. his eyes don't miss the way you're fiddling with your fingers, bandaged after the fight with the ronins you ran into during whatever happened this afternoon. the cuts were the first thing he noticed when you reunited on the last room, way too similar to the alcor he could call a home.

"i do not get what you might be referring to, love" he simply answers, walking closer to you (he hopes you dont mind the smell of tomatoes lingering on his hands), "mind clearing it up for me?"

you gulp, not daring to meet his gaze even when his fingers tentatively graze yours, something he does whenever he wants to comfort you - and it's ironic, since he should be the one feeling upset.

"i'm sorry for having to... listen, i guess? to your past. to... what you didn't want to tell me"

it's kazuha's time to sigh now, eyes closing as his fingers finally intertwine with yours - he internally grimaces as the feeling of bandages on your skin.

"the warmth of your heart never fails to amaze me, hummingbird," he muses quietly bringing your knuckles to his lips, but not pecking them, "why would you apologise as if you are the one who created such mirage? unless you're the mage, the 'alice' that the traveler and miss mona kept mentioning."

a small whine leaves your throat out of frustration while he brushes the back of your hands with small kisses: "it's not that. i just... feel like i accidentally crossed boundaries," you whisper back, squeezing his hands trying to grab his full attention, "i wanted to cover my ears but the voices kept coming from everywhere and i just-" you break eye contact, feeling shame crawl on your back, "i wish i could have avoided it. i thought holding onto you as we got transported inside the bonsai would separate me from the others but it didn't work. it feels like i was forced to acknowledge something i was not supposed to know."

you can't see the way he's looking at you and for the first time in your relationship, kazuha is glad about it. he blinks a few times, glad you can't see the glimmer of tears trying to spill out and waits a few moments before speaking, fearing that a wavering voice would betray him.

and he's speechless.

"come here, little one. come here, please" his hands leave yours just for his arms to wrap around your form, tugging you close, the closest he can manage, to him. nuzzling his face in your hair as you hide your face in his chest, he speaks again:

"you have nothing to apologise for, angel. it was.. how things were supposed to be, perhaps." a hand sneaks under your shirt, grazing your bare skin gently as kazuha tries to get even closer to you.

you protest, the sound muffled by the fabric of his clothes "but it's unfair, 'zuha. it's like you were forced to share your past even if you didn't want to. and- gods, even people you don't know well like mona and fischl got to see it."

"i believe a part of me is glad," he breathes out, "i'm glad i no longer have to tell you what is burdening me, and that someone did it in my place. although that someone was my past self."

he pulls away to look at you, a hand resting on your cheek. the way he's looking at you makes your knees weak.

"if anything, i should apologise for being such a hard person to love"

you break down. kazuha had always appreciated your sensitive side, even before you two started dating. he would rub your back after you cried sharing a sad story he heard during one of his travels, or try to cheer you up at the sight of your tears after a particular dramatic song yunjin would sing in your presence. but right now you're despising your weak self, wanting to be the one to protect him for once.

"that's- that's bullshit!" you sob out, covering the hand on your cheek with your own, "you are not hard to love! you are the most gentle soul i ever encountered, the most - the most beautiful person there could be out there. both inside and outside."

"you could even be the son of the cruelest tyrant and that wouldn't change anything! i just- see, i can't even put myself in words!"

that makes him laugh a little, although you can't sense any real humour coming from him.

kazuha doesn't answer, simply hugging you again.

"i love you," he manages to get out before you feel a sob shake his shoulders. and another as you kiss the crown of his head.

"i love you more than you will ever know, kazuha"

giggles nervously damn writers block is slapping me violently sorry if this is awful

i'm gonna fucking cry dawg, this is so 🥺🥺🥺

[howtofightwrite]

Hi! I've been working on a historical fantasy story (think Taisho era but with Caribbean influences). My issue is with two of the main characters: A morally-questionable "ronin" for lack of a better term, and street-fighter with the noble incentive of supporting her family financially. While it's easy for me to picture what their relationship ends up becoming, it's hard for me to decide how these two could end up working together without it seeming unrealistic or forced.

I have no idea what this means.

I'm vaguely familiar with the Taisho Period. This was from 1912 to 1925, and saw some early elements of the transition that lead to the Japanese Emperor's authority being completely subverted by a military junta in the following decade. It's a very significant era.

The problem is, Japan in 1925 looked nothing like Jamaica in 1656, and I cannot extrapolate exactly what you're looking for here.

"Caribbean influences," could be as simple as geological, or it could be an elaborate fantasy setting that melds elements of late Imperial Japan with the European colonial squabbling in the Caribbean that resulted in an authority vacuum, and the proliferation of piracy, both freelance, and state sponsored.

The result is, I don't know your world, and that's not a bad thing. It does make this question much harder to answer with any specificity.

So, yes, a unique world is a good thing. Not being able to boil that down into a single sentence is something you may want to work on. Though, the goal is to create a coherent one line description, not to simplify your world.

The problem with your characters is, I don't know who these people are. The description of them is basic, but fine. However, because I don't know your world, I don't have a full frame of reference for what your setting's ronin really are. This could be anything from a disgraced noble to a former military leader who's degenerated into piracy when their place in the old order collapsed when the previous emperor died.

How does that interface with someone who has the, "noble incentive of supporting her family?" This could get really dark.

A couple years back I remember reading an article discussing the good/evil axis for D&D's alignment system. The author used the concept of proximal empathy a litmus test for a character's alignment. (Note that "proximal empathy," means something very different in developmental psychology.) The idea is that a good person will experience empathy and exhibit compassion and altruism to a wide range of people, in some cases, even total strangers. However, as the alignment shifts away from good, that proximity will decrease. A neutral character may be apathetic about strangers, but they don't stop caring about or protecting their friends and family. An evil character may either only care about their innermost circle, or themselves alone.

While I think it has limited value as a philosophical position, it's something worth considering about your characters. If your character is willing to commit crimes and harm others in pursuit of providing for their family, that does not make them a good person. Further, even someone with noble intentions can be responsible for horrific actions.

This will be a slightly crude explanation, but when you're plotting the relationships between characters, it can be helpful to think of it like a multi-act story, with a sequence of different stages or phases. Over a long enough period of time, many relationships are unstable. People who start as friends can become bitter enemies, and people began barely tolerating one another could come to respect each other, only for that to be scuttled later on.

There's nothing inherent in these two character concepts that would automatically mean they couldn't work together, or even become friends. Similarly, there are a lot of potential threads that could lead to a brutal falling out down the line. That's fine. More than fine, that's useful.

I've said it before, but your job is not to make friends with your characters. You are not responsible for handing them a happy ending. Having characters that end up parting ways because of irreconcilable differences can punctuate a good story. Conflicts between protagonists can be incredibly valuable for changing a character's trajectory, or showcasing new insights into who your characters are, and how the story's events have changed them.

In both cases, you have a the basic sketch of a character who could be a complex individual, and that's something you will want to encourage. Character conflict lets you tease out that depth without requiring either character to be exceptionally self aware.

I can't tell you how they met, or why they started to work together. I can't tell you if there was friction or if they started out working together for purely pragmatic reasons. I don't know. Those are your character and your story.

What I do know is, try it. If it doesn't work, examine where and why it failed, and rewrite it until you're happy with it.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you, and come join us on Discord.

[stitch1830]

Taang

Headcanon

3, 9, 18, 21, 27

Ronin! Hello! :D Taang headcanons, here we go!

3. Who is the most romantic?

I think Aang is more romantic, but it's mainly because his is more apparent than Toph. Toph's romantic gestures are usually done in the comfort of their home, but Aang isn't afraid to make doe eyes at Toph in public or tell her how amazing she is haha!

Usually, if they're out in public and Aang does something sappy, she'll sass him or hit him because she has a reputation to uphold LOL. (But she secretly loves his PDA haha!)

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I feel like Aang sometimes forgets that he is the Avatar and can bend more than just air. He's a bit of an airhead in that regard, so there are moments where he just... forgets and Toph never lets him hear the end of it hehe.

Toph actually never does anything embarrassing so—

Just kidding :)

I would say that she does a lot of silly things for their kids, so sometimes she sings and does a goofy dance or makes weird faces to help the babies eat their baby food, and Aang can't help but laugh. She doesn't often do embarrassing things in front of Aang, but if she does, it usually rolls off her back. But I feel like if Toph did some sort of flying lemur dance for the kids, Aang would replay that in his mind forever and ever :)

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

Toph and Aang seem like the couple that just... hug it out LOL.

They'll fight and it's a blowout, they usually say stuff they don't mean, but then the next day or two, they just meet in the middle and are like "I'm sorry" and ~hug~

Toph and Aang know what they prioritize in their relationship, they know their roles and responsibilities to each other and the world, and I think sometimes it gets to them, but they never let a fight get in between them.

I also feel like when it comes to admitting they are wrong, they find it hard to properly express it.

That, or they just straight up make each other laugh, and it's water under the bridge lol.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

I don't think Aang is ever nervous about going with Toph anywhere, but I can see Toph being a little nervous for their relationship to go public with their friends/family. She finds it weird to be the center of attention when it comes to questions about her relationship, so she just gets fidgety and whatnot lol.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Toph and Aang are the notorious couple that pranks their friends and their nieces/nephews. They're the 'fun couple' and like to wreak a little havoc wherever they go! So, that typically means that the Gaang gets all exasperated whenever they pull a prank or make an inappropriate joke at the dinner table.

Aang shows a little remorse at times. A little. :)

......

Okay! I think that covers the questions! Thanks again for the ask, Ronin! Always love our Taangy conversations. Hope you have a great day!

Send me headcanon asks for ATLA (or other) ships!

[randominagines]

Ok I'm sending this your way 👁👁 Bucky x Steve's ex. Post tfatws sam and bucky apprehend a vigilante killer that can't be killed, any injury she get heals/regenerates. Bucky realises it's Steve's first proper girl friend who broke Steve's heart after she mysteriously disappeared, what's more is that bucky had some unresolved feelings for her back in the day. But the sweet, gentle young woman that Steve had loved is now a lonely near immortal killer. Maybe with flashbacks, pre-serum Steve wasn't popular with the ladies but when he met her he fell hard, and when bucky met her a part of him was interested but that makes his new found reunion with her all the more conflicting. I image reader to look in her mid 20s, average looking but with old eyes that interested bucky, maybe 300 years old never one to stay in the same place, not one to have relationships or flings for that matter but Steve was so sweet he made her feel hopeful but she had to leave for safety this was a few years before he became captain America. Reader is old fashioned too like bucky n steve lots of Angst please cos she still feels bad about Steve plus bucky doesn't trust her cos of how she hurt Steve plus she's a vigilante  (Like punisher/daredevil or Clint as Ronin) but now she's tasked with helping bucky n Sam track down human traffickers that she has insider info on from her time undercover, basically she's spent her years infiltrating n hunting human traffickers/organised crime syndicates . I can image the tension, the pinning and guilt,gotta have a lot of guilt I don't usually go for romantic fics but I like this idea also she's based on my oc 👁👁 hope it sparks an interest in you.😊

THIS IS LITERALLY SO CREATIVE THANK YOU! I added a little plot twist, hope you don't mind, and I combined this request with this⬇️

And thanks to anon too for the request!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Fem!reader (Steve's ex)

Setting: After FATWS

Warning: obviously a lot of angst and a bit of smut

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators.

The Vigilante

When Sam told Bucky about the mysterious Vigilante that was practically exterminating every single organised crime syndicate he was kinda sceptical. Why would someone so apparently powerful and slippery help them? Sam looked so enthusiastic that Bucky didn't feel like tearing him down.

"Relax, he is probably a nice guy." Sam said while stepping into the abandoned parking: that was the meeting point jointly agreed. Bucky rolled his eyes, his hands in his pocket. "We don't need help." He said but his best friend shook his head. "We totally do. These arms dealers are different, these are not amateur, so we need a professional too." He concluded while opening the fascicles he had written about these man: Sam had brought them for the Vigilante to read. Bucky puffed. "Whatever." He said.

In that moment, a figure practically landed in front of them: the Vigilante was wearing a pair of black cargo trousers, two guns at her belt and the hilt of knife sticking out of her boot. The Vigilante had a black shirt with a black leather jacket and a mask that covered most of their face and head. The only thing exposed was their neck. The figure looked at them, deep y/e/c eyes scanning their figure, while pointing a gun against them.

Sam raised his hand and Bucky frowned. "Woah, was this necessary?" Sam asked and the Vigilante tilted her head before lowering the gun. "I had to make sure you were not impostors." They said, their voice alternated by some weird device. Sam nodded, but before he could say anything, Bucky took a step forward and the Vigilante finally saw him: a gasp escaped their mouth. "James Buchanan Barnes..." The Vigilante whispered, their voice filled with tension. Bucky walked toward them, his hand already on his gun. "How do you know my full name?" He asked while extracting the gun, his eyes widened. The Vigilante shook their head. "You know me too..." They said and pressed a button behind their mask: it opened with a click and Bucky looked at them: he stumbled back, his mouth parted and his hand lowering. "This is not possible..." He whispered in panic.

Sam looked at the Vigilante and tilted his head. "Mmh, a girl." He simply said while she kept staring at Bucky, her eyes getting watery. "You're alive." She simply said and Sam raised his arms. "Wait a second, how do you know each other?" He asked and looked at his friend, but he was like petrified.

The girl sighed. "I was Steve's girlfriend back in 1940." She said and Sam widened his eyes. "What the fuck?!" He simply said and Bucky stepped forward to look at her: she looked exactly the same, her y/h/c were slightly longer but still the same colour, her lips still pink petal and her eyes still intense, even if there was something different in her sight. "Y/n," he whispered her name, it was almost weird to pronounce after all those years. "I thought you were dead." He said, his jaw clenched. Y/n shook her head. "I had to make Steve believe it, it was too dangerous to stay with him." She explained.

Bucky felt a burning anger growing inside of him. He looked at Sam. "We're not working with her." He said and rushed out of the parking. Sam raised his hands while staring at y/n. "I'll be right back, read this in the meantime." He said and passed the fascicles to her before running to his friend. "Bucky, stop." He commanded but Bucky kept walking. "I'm not working with her." He repeated and stopped to look at Sam, he shook his head. "We need her, we have been trying to stop those dealers for months." He trying to help his friend reasoning but Bucky was adamant. "There is no way, Sam." He said and Sam rolled his eyes. "But why..." He asked but Bucky started walking away. "You don't wanna know." He said, Sam walked in front of him. "Just tell me, I can't understand why--" he tried to insist, but Bucky grabbed his arms and looked at him. "Because I loved her!" He screamed, his voice filled with anger. He shook his head and bit his lower lip, his expression resigned.

Sam widened his eyes and stepped back while Bucky sighed. "I was in love with her and it cost me a lot to never say this. Steve was so happy to have her, he liked her since the beginning, and I liked her too. Living their relationship in front row made me get attached to her too and I realized that I loved her," he said, his voice a whisper. "Then, one day, she left him out of the blue, telling him that she was about to move in Europe. Steve couldn't resign, he kept insisting to have another chance. She looked so torn, then one day, her friends told us that she was found dead after a car accident. Those were weird years, cars were still such a new thing and couldn't be trusted. We never saw the body but we attended her funeral," he said, the memory of that day still fresh in his mind. "Steve was in pieces, and I was destroyed. The person I loved was gone and I couldn't tell anyone about that, not even to my best friend. And the worst part is that I've never been completely honest about the reason why me and her were so close..." He concluded, eyes watery and his hands nervously entwined. He never told Steve that, the day he introduced her as his girlfriend, was not the first time Bucky saw her: he met her weeks before, they had a one night stand but he never forgot her. He didn't even know her name, but those eyes had been in his thoughts for weeks, untill he saw her again, but next to Steve. It was too late to say anything, and that had been their secret for two years, the amount of time she had been Steve's girlfriend. Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, mate." He whispered and Bucky nodded.

In that moment, y/n walked to them, the fascicles in her hand. "I read them. I've been trying to stop this organisation for months, then I was recruited for another mission two years ago and I've left USA since then," she explained while shaking her head. "They apparently are still around. It's quite personal to me, since their boss was my boyfriend and--" Sam almost choked on his own saliva. "What?!" He asked and she shrugged. "I pretended to be interested in him for the sake of the mission, he was an awful man, always treating me like his funny little toy. I simply dumped him with the excuse of having to move." She said and looked at Bucky, a bit of guilty in her eyes. He shook his head. "That's your modus operandi then, you make people fall in love with you and you dump them with this silly excuse when you're tired of them, just like you did with St--" he was saying, but she snapped: she grabbed her knife and pointed it to his throat, her movement so fast and gracious that they didn't even realize. She looked at him in the eyes. "Not another word, Steve has been the only real thing I've ever had. Leaving him was the most difficult decision I've ever made." She said and he chuckled, the tip of the knife scratching his throat. "Then why did you?" He asked and she took a breath, her eyes not showing any emotion at all. "Because I was getting weak. Having sentimental attachment was not a thing accepted by my boss. He threatened me to kill Steve, and you..." She said and he tilted his head. "Me?" He asked in surprise and she nodded. "You're free to not believe me, but I cared about you too, and also very much." She concluded and lowered her knife, Bucky's body relaxed. Sam looked at them both, standing one a couple of centimetres away from the other: they were lost in each other's eyes, the sexual tension between them almost palpable. Sam held his breath. "Okay, enough drama for today. What about going home, sleeping on this and we meet tomorrow at Bucky's apartment to discuss the mission?" He said, trying to defuse the atmosphere. Y/n nodded, her eyes still on Bucky. "I'll keep the fascicles, see you tomorrow." She said and practically disappeared in the darkness of the parking, there was no trace of her.

Bucky let out a breath, his stomach twisted and his heart pounding faster in his chest. Sam tilted his head. "Do you have to tell me something else?" He asked but Bucky started walking away, not another word escaped his mouth for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky could always tell when he was dreaming, there was something in the way he perceived feelings that was surreal. He used to have the most vivid flashbacks of when he was still the Winter Soldier, filled with violence and pain, so it was easy to tell that it was not who he was anymore. But this time, it was different: after decades, he was dreaming of y/n again and it felt real. It was a pure memory, of the night he had sex with her...

He was lying on his bed, his chest covered in tiny drops of sweat while it was raising and lowering fastly, he was out of breath. She was still sitting on his, her legs spread and her torso lowering to kiss him, a quick but intense kiss on his lips, before she rolled on the bed next to him. He looked at her and smiled: her hair were messy, her breast covered in small bites and her hands pulling the sheets to cover her naked body. Bucky scanned her. "Don't, you look beautiful." He said and grabbed her by her hip, his lips pressing on her shoulder. She smiled. "You don't look bad yourself, James." She said and ran her fingers through his short hair, he shook his head. "It's unfair, you know my name and I don't know yours." He protested and she shrugged while slowly kissing his neck, her hand tracing his pectorals. "I could tell you, but where would be the fun?" She joked while biting his neck, her warm breath sending shivers down his spine. "You act so mysterious." He whispered, a small moan escaping his lips as her hand travelled down his stomach.

She smirked. "Don't you like it?" She asked and he looked at her, his eyes filled with lust while he climbed on the top of her, his legs spreading hers. "I love it." He whispered and kissed her, his lips searching for hers with passion. She kissed him back, her legs crossing around his lap and her hands scratching his back. "You are so hot, has anyone told you that?" She asked while looking at his naked body, he really was perfect. He grinned in confidence but his lips turned pink. "Well, have you seen yourself?." He asked while his hands travelled on her body and he looked at her with pure adoration, his eyes on her making her feel kinda of worshiped.

She smiled. "You look like you're in the mood for a second round." She provoked him and pulled him closer. He smirked, his fingers tracing her breast. "Even a third." He said and grabbed her leg, his lips leaving a trace of tiny kisses on it while she smiled, feeling happy and wanted for the first time in forever.

Bucky woke up, his eyes widened and his body authomatically sitting up. He was out of breath, his irregular heartbeat making him feel full of adrenaline. He shook his head, his hands running through his hair.

Bucky had never thought about that night again since y/n's funeral: the fact that he dreamt of it again was almost disturbing to him. He clearly remembered how the following day he woke up and she was gone, he tried to search for her for days but no one knew her name, she was like a ghost, disappeared without leaving a single trace behind. Bucky couldn't forget the day he saw her again: Steve was proudly holding her hand, his blue eyes filled with love and affection while he looked at her.

"This is y/n, my girlfriend." He said and smiled in pride. Y/n widened her eyes while staring at Bucky and he did the same, his throat so dry that he thought he was not going to be able to talk. In the end, she reached her hand. "Nice to meet you, Bucky, Steve always talks about you." She said, underlining the name Bucky since she knew him as James. He shook her hand and nodded. "Nice to meet you, Steve told me that you are an amazing person, y/n." He said and put emphasis on her name too, since he didn't know it.

Bucky didn't realize at the time, but he was already so captured by her: it had been just one night, but the way they connected had been so intense. Making love, talking about random stuff, sharing life moments through stories; all of those things had been powerful and deep for Bucky. He couldn't help but falling for her, even though she was with Steve.

He stood up and looked at his clock: 4 in the morning. He sighed, it was impossible to go back to sleep, so he went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass to fill it with milk. In that moment, someone knocked at his door: he frowned and grabbed a gun that he had hidden behind the microwave, who on Earth would knock at 4 a.m.? He walked to the door slowly, his hands pointing the gun, then he heard a voice. "I know you're awake, it's me." Y/n said from the other side of the door. Bucky's heart almost skipped a beat: he put the gun down and opened the door. Y/n was standing there, her hands in his pocket and the hood of her hoodie on. She walked inside and put the hood down while staring at him. "I'm sorry to show up like this, but I needed to see you." She said and he shook his head. "How did you know I was awake?" He asked while putting the gun back behind the microwave. She shook her head. "Because I couldn't sleep too. Plus, I clearly heard the click of your gun when I knocked, amateur shit." She said and sat on his couch.

Bucky shook his head and sat in front of her. "What do you want?" He asked, his tone filled with tension. She took a deep breath. "To apologize. I know I hurt Steve, and maybe you too but--" she tried to say but he laughed. "Tell me one thing: did you know I was Steve's best friend the night we fucked?" He brutally asked, his voice firm. She shook her head. "I didn't, it was just a coincidence." She honestly said while having vivid flashbacks of that night, her stomach filling with a weird sensation. "Coincidences do not exist." Bucky bitterly said and she sighed. "Sometimes, they do. I didn't intend to end up with Steve, but when I met him he was sweet, thoughtful, sincere... I wasn't allowed to get attached to people, but he was so special. I got involved and when I saw you the night he introduced me to you, I almost thought about breaking up with him..." She confessed, her voice shaking. He didn't interrupt her and gave her the time to take a breath. "I liked you, Bucky. That night had been important to me, believe it or not. I used to have sex with people and leaving the following morning was easy, but that morning I hesitated. But then I already was a Vigilante, I had responsibilities and my life was a constant danger, so I left your apartment. I thought about you for days, then I met Steve and I was probably opened to the idea of love because of how you made me feel, like I could be worthy of love after all and like I didn't have to give up on human basic experience just because of my job." She concluded, her eyes stuck into his and her hands playing with one of the pillows.

Bucky felt his stomach twisting: that night had been important to her too, then. All those years thinking about how stupid he had been to believe that it mattered something and here he was, listening to her talking about that damn night spent together. "I thought about you too." Bucky confessed, his voice a whisper and his eyes travelling to his own hands. She parted her mouth. "You did?" She asked and he nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked and regretted a second later, it was obvious. He shook his head. "Because you were my best friend's girlfriend. He had never been happier and I didn't want to interfere." He said, thinking about how much Steve actually loved her. He felt guilty of loving her too.

She let out a breath and tilted her head. "I feel bad for lying to him, to you. I saw you at my funeral and I felt the worst person ever." She admitted and Bucky nervously chuckled. "How to blame you? Steve was destroyed." He said and she nodded. "I know, but if I had stayed he would have been killed. He became a hero, instead." She said and thought about Captain America. Bucky nodded, eyes staring at the void. "And I became a monster." He said and she bit her lower lip. "You were the Winter Soldier, weren't you?" She asked, finally connecting all the dots. He nodded, those words still hurting. "I was." He said and she grabbed his hand. Their first physical contact since the night they had sex and Bucky felt it all: his stomach twisted and his eyes travelled back on her face. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that, we didn't deserve to be experiments." She sighed and he frowned. "I suppose they used the serum on you too." He guessed and she nodded. "Yes, two hundred years before they did on you." She confessed, thinking about how many epochs she had been through. He widened his eyes. "Wait... Are you three hundred years old?" He asked in disbelief. She looked at him and nodded, a tiny smile curving her lips. Bucky felt weird, he hadn't seen that smile since the last time he had seen her with Steve, he used to love that smile.

She shook her head. "So, now that we told the untold, can we work together?" She asked and reached her hand to shake it, he hesitated, he wasn't sure he could, but she was just someone from his past and he didn't love her anymore, didn't he? They had been lovers for a night and friends for two years, but there was always something unclear between them. He shook her hand. "We can." He said and she finally smiled, a full and bright smile that reminded Bucky of the good old times. "Okay," she said and stood up, he did the same. "So, see you tomorrow." She said and hugged him. Bucky tensed up for a moment, his body freezing between her arms, but it was just a second: he hugged her back, his arms wrapping around her torso while he hid his face in the crook of her neck: she had the same smell, the same familiar sweet scent. She looked at him, and for a second she thought about kissing him again, those eyes still mesmerising and his lips so soft. He was looking at her too, his eyes travelling from her lips to her eyes. They didn't realize but they both leaned forward, their lips barely touched and y/n took a step forward. "I should go." She said and took a deep breath. Bucky sighed and nodded, his hands falling long his body. "Yes, you should." He said, feeling guilty for still wanting her so bad. She smiled at him and left, the noise of her footsteps filling the stairs. Bucky sighed, his hands covering his face while lying down on his couch, thinking that he was still in love with her.

Part 2