#romulus is the only exception to this rule (most of the time)

[hetagrammy]

You just know Lovino was a mama's boy

[sidespart]

The Fall of King Romulus part 4

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him...

Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Pairings: Mostly Platonic LAMP and all the found family feels. Could be read as pre-slash.

Feedback appreciated.

NOW ON AO3 :D

Prologue     Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3

“I will grant them handsome features and beguiling voices,” the maiden whispered, her own voice dripping with honey “that all who great them will be blessed from the meeting.”

“I told you it wouldn’t work!” Remus grinned smugly when Romulus was deposited back in in their room, their nanny shutting the door firmly behind him.

“Urghh.” Romulus whined as he hurled himself face first onto Remus’ bed, making his giggling brother bounce from the impact. “But it should have! It always does in the stories!”

What was the point of having a twin, Romulus wondered if they couldn’t even switch places to get him out of boring geography lessons?

Remus poked him until Romulus rolled over onto his side to pout at his brother.

“It’s because I’m better lookin’ than you.” Remus told him cheerfully.

Romulus thwacked him with a pillow. “We’re identical!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Remus grabbed a second pillow from the floor, “I’m still the cute one!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Are to – oof!”

The pillow fight soon descended into a wrestling match, their shrieks and giggles echoing through the bed chamber.

Eventually they ran out of breath and Remus flopped back down on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge. Romulus collapsed on the floor amongst the fallen pillows, batted Remus’ foot away from his face and gazed up at the family portrait hanging above their fire place.

They were identical. The artist had taken care to draw the crown prince a little bigger than his brother, closer to the forefront of the picture, but even so; their hair, eyes, nose - everything was the same.

Romulus glanced up at his brother, who was currently digging snot out his nose with every sign of enjoyment. Romulus gagged. They were not the same -Remus was gross!  

Except.

Everyone said what a handsome young man Remus was growing up to be. How brightly his eyes sparkled.  How confidently he held himself, even as a child. They never said that stuff about Romulus.

Remus shone, even when he was being gross.

“Your voice is better.” Remus said suddenly, snapping Romulus out of his sulk.

“What?”

“Your voice.” The older twin lent over the bed, staring his brother in the eye “It’s nicer than mine, ‘specially when you sing.” Romulus beamed, showing off his gap toothed smile. Their parents had hired teachers to drill both boys on the lute and harpsicord, but Romulus’ talent for singing was all him.

“You think so?”

“Yeah.” Remus smiled back at him. He’d lost a baby tooth that week too – one of his canines, giving him lopsided fangs. “And you’re way better at crying.”

“What! Well – your feet are stinker!”

“You’re worse at pranks!”

“Well you’re worse at fencing!”

“But l I’m the best at tickling!” declared Remus and leapt from the bed, pinning Romulus with his knee whilst his fingers attacked his brothers armpits.  The younger prince’s peals of laughter and cries for mercy were so loud nanny came rushing back to check on them, finding the future rulers of Notaleveale wrapped around each other on the floor, covered in dust and wearing matching smiles.

“I will grant them strength and creativity.” The mother smiled, she had a thousand eyes and all of them twinkled under the halls many candles “so that their rule will never be questioned.”

“Lord Venchi?”  Romulus asked.

The royal treasurer, normally one of the more composed members of his father council, was pacing the entrance hall alone, what little hair he had left sticking up in all directions as he tugged at it.

“Oh, Your Highness!” The he gasped when he caught sight of Romulus, “oh thank goodness! He-“

Romulus sighed. “What has my brother done now?”

Romulus had spent the morning on a rare visit into town, missing the days council meeting. It was completely unfair -  Romulus attended meetings almost daily, under Julius supervision, as part of his training to one day take over managing whichever aspect of the kingdom bored the future King Remus the most. They were mind numbingly dull sessions and it was only Julius’ steady glare that kept Romulus’ eyes open and his face attentive.

But today, visitors from the far south were attending. Which meant the session might actually be interesting. Which meant Remus got to go, and Romulus was immediately barred from entry. Instead, his father had asked him to represent the family at the ceremonial graduation of the latest batch of city watch recruits. So, instead of hearing tales from beyond the kingdoms borders, he had spent most of the day on a podium waving dispassionately at a crowd of braying onlookers.

It was always daunting, being around so many common folk. They lacked the decorum of the nobles at court. Whilst most seemed content to gape and sigh at him from a distance, there was always one who would shout out ‘my prince, look at me!’, ‘come here!’, ‘kiss my baby!’

Even with his fathers voice ringing in his ears – “no matter what you hear, stay by your guards side until you are back in the palace.” – Romulus had spent the day tense and unhappy, pinpricks of pain dancing in his skull. By the time he was allowed to speak he had quite forgotten his prepared speech and been forced to make up a quick poem on the spot. The crowd had seemed happy enough – the watch captain had tears in his eyes - but he knew neither Julius or his parents would be happy with his improvising once his guards had reported in.

He had hoped to get a few hours alone before the inevitable lecture, and were it anyone else he might have tried to sneak by without getting pulled into whatever chaos Remus had caused.

But Venchi was an old ally, one who had served his father wisely for years and who always took the time to compliment Romulus on his few measured contributions to the councils discussions, or to explain carefully any point he had missed.

He had also seen Remus at council. There shouldn’t have been anything left that the older prince could do to shock him to this extent.

“He-“ the old man looked like he couldn’t quite believe his own words, “He flipped the table.”

Romulus stared at him. The council table was ancient and enormous, made of a stone so old it’s real name has been lost. Moving it was impossible, the palace had practically been built around it.

“The Arkazeii  ambassador is being seen by a healer.” Venchi continued, “but I believe his foot Is broken, I-“

The side door behind them slammed open suddenly, crashing into the wall with enough force to make the hanging portraits shake. “I said.” Remus roared, a snarl on his handsome face, “Leave me alone!”

His voice was so forceful Romulus found he had taken three steps towards the main door before he stopped himself, face flushing. The order hadn’t been meant for him. Julius, who had clearly been chasing after the young crown prince, was now openly glaring down at Remus, two spots of colour high on his cheeks.

“Your highness I must insist-“

“Seriously?” Remus cackled, “You’re insisting?  Juju, honestly, I am not interested in what you have to say.” He barred his teeth at the King’s advisor, eyes wild,  “If my father wants me he can come get me himself but if not you can go and -oh.”

“Hello Remus.” Romulus sighed, giving the shortest bow he could get away with, “I hear your meeting went well.”

Remus eyes narrowed “Hello Romy, have fun getting your butt kissed in town?” he slug his arm around his brother’s neck, adopting a high pitched, sing song tone in apparent impression of the townsfolk “Oh Prince Romulus, you’re sooo clever and handsome and perfect. Won’t you pretty please sign an autograph and let me suck your di-“

“Your highness, please!” Venchi looked disgusted “There is no need for vulgarity.”

“Aww hey Vee! Wow, your hair is really going, you know the balder you get the more you look like my ballsack? Romy – I’m serious, picture him with two heads”  he held up his thumbs and index fingers and positioned them in front of the red-faced treasurer like a frame “I can’t be the only one that sees this.”

“You are.” Romulus snapped, shrugging his brothers arm off of his shoulders, “Did you really break the Arkazeii ambassadors foot?”

“The Arkazeii ambassador deserved it.” Remus snarled, good humour vanishing instantly. “They want to dig up Orenlla till it’s hollow. Use the rock to turn their sky black. Have you heard the stories outta that place? All the chickens are dying, ’s a travesty.”

“The chickens are- what? Just. Whatever. Not liking his trade ideas doesn’t mean you can hurt him!”

Remus eyes were always sparkling. Like a man on the brink of madness. “I can do whatever I want little brother.” He grinned at him with too many teeth, “you should try it sometime.”

“Your sons have all the makings of rulersss” the final fae smiled, her one golden eye glinting in the depth of her cloak. “My gift is for you. I give your children honestly and obedience.” She smiled sweetly, “May they bring you joy.”

“Your father is sick” Julius told him.

I know that Romulus thought but didn’t say. Watching the old man carefully.

They were in Julius practice room, at the top of the northmost turret, where Romulus had spent so much of his childhood.

“There is of course, still hope. And we have the finest healers, from every corner of the Kingdom.” Julius was pacing as he spoke, wringing his hands. It was profoundly odd, to see the old man so unsettled. But he had known Romulus’ father from when they were both boys. He loved him, as much as he was capable of loving anyone, and he loved the kingdom that he helped rule.

So Romulus found he wasn’t as surprised as he should have been with what Julius said next.

“Your brother cannot be allowed to take the throne.”

Since Romulus curse had been recognised, his parents had taken great pains to limit the brothers’ interactions, for both of their safety.

Remus could not keep a secret.

Remus was honest. He was honest at their mothers funeral when he’d announced to the mourners that she was ‘a bitch by anyone’s definition’ and honest later than evening when he’d sobbed into Romulus’ shoulder and cried that he would miss her.

He was honest when he announced to Romulus causally, over are rare shared meal, that he dreamed about killing him. “I’d do it with a morning star” he told him, slapping his spoon down onto the head of a roasted tomato and watching the red pulp fly about his plate. “Just like that.”

He was honest when he forced his way into Romulus’ room at night, shook him awake and told him, shaking, that the palace was haunted. That voices whispered to him from every corner - so loud that he couldn’t sleep.

He was honest when Romulus asked him, baffled, why are you telling me this. “I trust you.” Remus admitted, his voice thick, “You’re the only one I can trust.”

Just because he was honest, didn’t mean he was right.

Romulus gazed at Julius, his face carefully blank – a skill he had perfected over many council meetings.- and said “I don’t think you can order me to change our birth order.”

“No.” Julius smiled, and had the decency to look pained. “That’s not what I’m going to ask.”

In this room, Julius had tried every trick to strip Romulus of his curse. And when he failed, he’d dedicated himself to learning every possible way it could be exploited. In order to help protect him, of course.

“Sit there and listen to me until I finish.”

If Romulus didn’t hear an order in full, even if he could guess it, it could be ignored. As a child he’d sometimes escape his teachers simply by running away before they could give him the next task.

“The next time you lay eyes on your brother, kill him. Ensure no one can trace it back to you.”

Vague orders were still orders, and often more effective than those that were too direct. If he couldn’t prevent someone from seeing him, then he would have to kill the witness too in order to obey the instructions in full.

“Let no one know you did it. Tell no one of our conversation”

There was, by now, a long list of things Romulus was forbidden from talking about. It was one of Julius’ favourite orders to give.

“If anyone contradicts this order, ignore them.”

Contradictions were tricky. Normally the most recent order would take precedence, but often enough once the newer order had been completed, the old one would return.

“Do you understand me, Price Romulus?”

Romulus nodded and some of the tension left Julius’ shoulders.

He smiled at Romulus then, and lent over the bush back a strand of hair that had fallen across the young man’s face. He left his hand on Romulus cheek and gazed at him like he really was a kindly old mentor and Romulus his favoured pupil.

“This year, it will be the rise of King Romulus. You will be a just and fair ruler. I’ll make sure of it.”

***

As the second son of a King, Romulus future had never been certain.

His parents discussed it often. He should have become a commander in the army, or a leader of the church or married off to a neighbouring princess and become king in his own right. With all options too likely to lead to discovery however, it had been decided he would stay home, construct a reputation of studious detachment and become his brothers distant advisor.

Help him. Protect him.

Like Julius protected them.

Instead, Romulus ran away and became Roman.

Roman was loud and confident and sprouted poetry and song without hesitation. He basked in the attention from crowds and flirted  with every pretty face who crossed his path. He worked and earned for himself and argued back with anyone who disagreed with him and never sat still if he could help it. He kept Romulus and his memories of home buried so deep sometimes he forgot he’d ever had another name.

Even so, there had always been, at the back of his mind, the paranoia of this day. When he would be found. Recognised. Forced back to Romulus life.

He just didn’t think when it happened it would be so embarrassing.

They’d reached a fork in the road. The Marquis paused and whipped his head from side to side, presumably checking for witnesses although it looked more like he was trying to shake water free from his ears. He stepped in front on Roman.

“You.” He enunciated slowly and loudly “Turn left. Okay? Le – e -e f -t”

Roman stared at him.                                  

He had been kidnapped by an idiot.

With great deliberation he rested all his weight on one foot and turned left. And then kept turning, spinning in a circle a few times until the Marquis hissed “no!” and grabbed his arm.

And then dropped it immediately, wiping his hand on his sleeve.

“You. Just – follow me, alright? This way.”

Roman rolled his eye but did as he was told.  The man could have just told him in the beginning to follow him to wherever their destination was, and Roman would have done so. There was no need to give him a new instruction every few paces. But if the Marquis – what was his first name? Romulus must have known at some point – didn’t know the ins and outs of his curse then Roman wasn’t going to be the one to tell him.

They continued on, the Marquis stopping every three feet to stare at him, or repeat some instruction, or glare at a crumpled map in his hands. Roman despaired. Romulus had had a crush on this man.

At first, Roman assumed he would lead him towards the Royal Palace and present his find to the Princess or to whatever other Notalevealian nobles were already here for the coronation. But instead he tugged him away from the wider streets, back down hill towards the main sprawl of the city.

“Where are you taking me, villain?” Roman asked after twenty minutes of marching “because I’m pretty sure we’ve passed that street lamp three times already.”

“Somewhere where your little friend won’t be able to help you.” the Marquis muttered, glaring at the lamp in question.

Roman felt his heart freeze. His friend?

He supposed it made sense. There was no conceivable way they could have been followed in the woods. Not without Patton or Virgil noticing. The Marquis must have spotted him in the market and followed from there, which means he would have at least seen Logan, perhaps the others too since he had been at the tavern…

Although why would a noble be at the Stevangie street market?

He tried not to let his anxiety show on his face, puffing his chest out and summoning his most haughty glare.

“Listen to me, lordling, if any harm should come to them I will personally-“

“Them?” The Marquis stumbled, map fluttering to the floor. When he spun to glare at Roman his eyes were enormous. “How many are there?”

Roman blinked, haughty glare ruined by his genuine confusion. “Erm,” he tried “lots?”

The Marquis audibly gulped, but before Roman could even attempt to interpret that the man’s face brightened, his gaze caught on something behind Roman. He smirked, some swagger returning to his step.

“No matter.” He said and grabbed Romans arm, dragging him towards a nondescript building in the centre of the street, unlocking the door and shoving the bard through.

It was a bath house. The back entrance, perhaps, but the damp in the air and smell of scented soap was unmistakable.

Roman tried, in his sleep-deprived, underfed, over-stressed state, to come up with a reasonable explanation for this.

He had nothing.

“Why-“

“Shut up” The Marquis snapped. “Walk that way.” He pushed Roman down a long corridor, past arched doorways through which he caught a glimpse of the bathhouse proper, and into a dusty looking stairwell. He had produced a candle from somewhere, but the dim light did very little to illuminate anything as they gingerly picked their way down.

When they finally reached the bottom floor Roman squinted to see boxes and crates of empty bottles– a storage room? But he had no time to take it all in before he was being dragged through another pair of doors. Two more rooms and another set of stairs later and the Marquis finally stopped.

The room he’d led them to was hot and humid. Sweat dripped down Romans nose after only a few seconds. At first he couldn’t work out what the noise that filled the room was, until his eyes adjusted enough to see the tubes running from the floor to ceiling.

“You’re lucky to see this.” The Marquis had to raise his voice over the rush of running water to be heard “This room is a modern miracle – the lifeblood of the city!”

Steveange’s heated bath houses were famous. So much so even Virgil had heard of them, and he seemed to take pride in knowing nothing about the outside world. Roman had assumed the city must have been built on hot springs or some other natural source, but this was something else.

“The furnace is below us.” The Marquis explained, as he propelled Roman towards the back wall. “The pipes bring water from the river, it’s heated and pumped up and out to every bathhouse in the city.”

He grinned with something like pride as he tapped one of the  pipes above Romans head, making it sing, “Arkazeii engineering and Orenllan iron. Lined with Orenllan copper of course…give me your jacket.”

“But. Notaleveale doesn’t trade it’s ores” Roman blinked rapidly, trying to remove the sweat from his eyes, as he shrugged out of his jacket.

Jacket was a generous term – it was a silken red thing, better suited to performances than travelling. But he enjoyed the way it billowed as he walked. The Marquis took it and without so much as a moments respect for the garment, ripped one of the sleeves clean off.

“Hey!”

“You’ve been away a long time.” the Marquis snarled, “you little fae touched traitor.”

Roman gaped at him, even as the man grabbed his right arm and began attempting to tie it to the nearest pipe.

“I used to look up to you” the Marquis continued, “you were everything a Prince should be. But you betrayed your father and put a curse of madness on your brother - all because of your own petty jealousy!”

He squeezed Romans wrist with enough force to leave bruises. And stepped back to admire his handywork. The silky material had no grip and it was painfully obvious the man was not used to getting his hand dirty. The resulting knot looked more like a bow. “You are no prince of mine.”

“Lucius.“ Roman knew he’d known his name. “That’s not true. That’s- that’s not even a clever story! Who came up with that?”

“Shut up.” Some of the panic from the journey had come back to Lucius’ eyes but it faded quickly “And don’t think you can scare me with my name, there is more iron in this room then anywhere else in the city.”

He grinned at Roman nastily. “Your little friends aren’t coming to save you.”

Roman stayed quiet, mind whirling. They thought Remus was cursed?

Well. He was. But not in the way Lucius seemed to believe.

They wouldn’t send a mad man to another kingdoms coronation would they? Had the seller actually been certain Remus was coming?

Tied up, exhausted and with a man who seemed to hate him glaring down, Roman started to giggle in giddy relief.

Lucius stepped back, looking unsettled, before reaching out, roughly grabbing Romans chin and shoving the remnants of his jacket into his mouth. “Stay here,” he told him, slowly and clearly “until I come back with your transport.”

He stood, taking the candle with him to the door. He paused for one moment before leaving, the flickering light illuminating a cruel smirk. “You had better hope I can arrange it before the furnaces come back on.” And he was gone.

Roman glanced above himself into the darkness, where his wrists were strapped tight to the currently cool metal. A rush of fear went through him, finally bringing him down from the giggling hysteria.

Alone In the dark, tried to think.

Roman was a bad friend. He lied to his companions as easy as breathing and took his own fears out on them.

Romulus was a bad prince. He had abandoned his kingdom and his subjects and allowed some sort of conspiracy to spring up in his wake.

But he was a good brother. Remus was alive. And he would stay that way.

After all, this afternoon he thought that Remus was here. That he would have to confront his past, escape the city, evade every member of the Notalevealian court and his  own friends and steal a horse.

Now all he had to do was get out of this basement and outwit one idiot who could barely tie knots and hadn’t even thought to pat him down to check for hidden daggers.

Easy-peasy he thought, his eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion finally overtook him.

Part 5

[365days365movies]

Horror October IV: The Wolf Man (1941) - Recap: Part Two

By the way, I love actual wolves, just to be clear.

In that first part, I was talking about man’s historical perception of wolves, so I put them in a necessarily negative light. But, uh, wolves fuggin’ rule, guys. Don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting a wolf, but I have. And I love them a lot. Now, would I want to meet one in the wild with all of its friends? Um...no. I enjoy living. But they’re extremely important for the environment, and they’re still in desperate need of conservation and of a better rap.

The reputation that wolves have been assigned in folklore is overwhelmingly negative, and that damaged their real-world numbers as well. While they were competitors for some of the same resources that we gathered in droves, and while they did attack humans relatively frequently in Europe, that wasn’t enough cause for what happened to them.

Frequent hunting and habitat destruction led to the extirpation of the gray wolf in most of Central Europe, and essentially all of Western Europe. The North American populations suffered a similar fate, with their populations suffering from the expansion of agriculture, and with the depletion of prey species like the American bison. Eventually, we’d almost completely extirpated them from the contiguous United States, with hold out populations in national parks and smaller refuges. 

But since the 1970s, conservation efforts worldwide have allowed populations to be on the rebound. They’re being reintroduced in the United States, their populations are spreading back into central Europe, and conservation centers and captive breeding programs in zoos have allowed a robust population that can be (and has been) used to supplement the genetics of wild populations of the species. Plus, even the wolf’s reputation culturally has made a turnaround!

For a while, wolves in media have had some positive representation. Even the Romans had Romulus and Remus, while Rudyard Kipling brought in a pack of Indian wolves (Canis lupus pallipes) to raise Mowgli. The social nature of the wolves has long been associated with our societies, so a kinship has popped up over the centuries. 

Reinterpretation has even changed some of the negative depictions of wolves into, at the very least, neutral depictions. One of my favorite orchestral compositions is Peter and the Wolf, by Sergei Prokofiev. Does that make me a basic classical bitch? Yeah, it doesn, but do I care? No, I don’t because it fucking SLAPS. Anyway, in the (EXCELLENT) 2006 stop motion animated film set to the  composition, the wolf is painted in a purely neutral light. How does it end? WATCH IT. Seriously, watch this excellent short film RIGHT HERE. It’s stellar.

And that positive reinterpretation isn’t limited to wolves, surprisingly. Werewolves have also been getting a positive rap in recent films! Far be it from me to praise the Twilight franchise, but...I mean, yeah, werewolves are in it, and they aren’t bloodthirsty monsters. I mean, yeah, Jacob literally falls in love WITH A FUCKING BABY, and that’s goddamn disgusting, but whatever. But if I’m gonna praise positive representation of werewolves, well, fuck Twilight, frankly.

Wolfwalkers, based on the actual legend of the Werewolves of Ossory, is genuinely one of my favorite movies from 2020. I only watched it this year for the first time, but I’m 100% watching it again. It’s gorgeous, it’s touching, it’s a Cartoon Saloon movie, and it’s a look at a real and classical version of the werewolf. If you haven’t seen this movie, you absolutely need to watch it. And if you HAVE seen it, and want to know my full thoughts, check out my recap and review on it (Part One | Part Two | Review)!

Anyway, enough about that. Just wanted to inject a little positivity into talking about wolves (and werewolves). I genuinely love wolves, and I refuse to be a part of promoting negative stereotypes about them or any other animals. Except grey squirrels. They’re absolute DICKS.

YEAH YOU FUCKIN’ MOOCH STOPEATINGMYBIRDSEED

...Check out Part One if you want to!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap: Part Two

So, Larry’s a werewolf now. He immediately kills a gravedigger, like you do, and howls to let people know they’re fucked. The police realize that it’s a wolf that’s killed them, and Larry wakes up the next morning not understanding what’s happened. He asks his seven-years-older father what this whole werewolf thing is about, despite the fact that Maleva JUST TOLD HIM that shit.

Larry’s clearly a little freaked about a few things, and he doesn’t hide it well. They go to church, where Jenny’s mom and the local gossip mill spread rumors about the wolf, and about Larry. However, he’s unable to enter the church fully, and leaves prematurely. Colonel Montford, with a print from the wolf, decides to send the print to Scotland Yard, proving once and for all that this town composed of 99% AMERICAN PEOPLE is SOMEHOW IN THE UK. Guys...come ON.

The cops decide to set traps, as Larry insists that it’s a WEREwolf they’re hunting. The doctor thinks he’s nuts, and nobody pays attention. And sure enough, he gets caught in a bear trap. He’s found by Maleva, who says a prayer over him that dispels the werewolf curse temporarily. He’s freed from the trap, and he escapes through the wood, telling the nearby cops that he’s also hunting for the wolf.

Larry’s now certain that he’s a werewolf, but instead of taking the fuck off FOREVER, he immediately goes to Gwen to tell her that she’s leaving forever. He sees a pentagram on her hand, meaning that she will be his next victim, just as Bela saw it on Jenny’s hand. He takes off, then runs to his father, who obviously believes none of this shit. He believes that Maleva’s filled his head with nonsense, and is driving him mad. However, in order to prevent his son from going to the cops, he ties him to a chair, for his own good, and so he can see that nothing will happen.

Sir John heads out to join in the hunt, where he is met by Maleva. He tries to tell her off, only to hurry back to the stand when he hears gunshots, worried that the werewolf is in fact his poor son. And indeed, Larry’s escaped the hunters, now in the form of a werewolf. Unfortunately, Gwen’s ALSO in the woods looking for him, and Larry quickly finds her.

The Wolf Man attacks Gwen, but Sir John catches up, beating him to death with Larry’s silver cane. And as the werewolf dies, Maleva catches up and says the prayer that dulls the curse, causing him to turn back into human Larry. Gwen lives in the end, and Larry lies dead at Sir John’s hands. And with that...you guessed it.

These sudden endings, man. See you in the Review!

[voidsentprinces]

FGO is a mythological fanfic clusterfuck...

Prologue: You are an unassuming man or madam who briefly meets their classmate, Mash. And angers their tsundere superior in Chaldea. An organization made to stop the end of the world. The one guy standing around and dressed like “I am an evil villain”. Turns on Chaldea and all the people suppose to go get blown up before they can embark on their first mission. This explosion sends you flying into Fuyuki with your Tsundere Superior and your classmate turned servant. You are the worst choice to save humanity from the end of the world. But now the only option.

Storyline of Fuyuki: Ah, good to be back in OG Fuyuki. Except everything is one fire, most of humanity is dead, and you have to escort a tsundere superior around while your classmate learns how to be a servant. Everyone is evil except Cu Chulainn who is a wizard and is your drunk uncle here to impart wisdom and snark.

Storyline of Orleans: Jeanne D’Arc comes back as Darth Vader leading an army of other historical villains including Elisabeth Báthory , Dracula, Marie Antonette’s Executioner, the Phantom of the Opera, and Darth Lancelot. You team up with Jedi Master Jeanna D’Arc as well as a younger for some reason dragonkin version of Elisabeth Báthory (just to make thing confusing), Marie Antionette, Motherfuckin’ Mozart, Kiyohime and Sigfried to stop her. Also dragons are everywhere. Darth D’Arc exists because Bluebeard wanted to give her catharsis.

Storyline of Septem: What if Emperor Nero wasn’t completely off his fucking rocker, came back as a fashionable wife, and has to fight previous Roman Emperors to get back Rome? Including a rotund Julius Caesar, an incoherent batshit Caligula, a young Alexander the Great and his hapless future successor who is an adult and just as confused as you, and Romulus. Whose death spawns Attilla the Hun as a space dressed waifu. And just to make their roles in history null and void. You enlist the help of Boudica and Spartcus to aid you. Also Jing Ke and mecha Lu Bu are there too.

Storyline of Okeanos: What if Francis Drake was a big tiddie pirate wife. Alright what if previously to your arrival she 1 v 1′d Poseidon and WON!? Alright now what if after getting her help, you fought Eric Bloodaxe, got trolled by Euryale to re-enact the myth of the Minotaur. But then the Minotaur turned out to be a good boi and joined you. Also Artemis carrying around Orion, Atlanta and David, King of Israel is there. So is Jason and some of the Argonauts but like just Medea and Heracles. Replacing the other Argonauts with Hektor from the Trojan War. Also you have to punch Blackbeard with Mary Read and Anne Bonny.

Story of London: There’s fog every where. You have to join forces with Traitor Knight, Mordred, Doctor Jeckyll, a kid Hans Christian, and Frakenstein’s Bride. Contending with Jack the Ripper, Mephistopheles, Hoienheim, Mecha Babbage, a bunch of Mannequins, and then the Mist of London just sort of summoned Nicoli Tesla and Darth Arthur to fight too. At the very end Tamamo no Mae and Sakata Kintoki arrive just to exit stage left immediately.

Story of E Pluribus Unum: Medb wants to fuck Darth Cu Chulainn but he’s not that interested. So she decides to fuck up Wild West America instead. Making Beowulf the Warden of Alcatrez, Fergus mac Roich the Heavy, and then kidnaps Rama’s Wife before mortally wounding him. Also she has to fight against Lion Headed Mecha Edison, Helena Blavatsky. The two of which are using  Karna, Son of the Sun as the Bouncer. You convince a germ manic Florence Nightingale to aid you, pick up a wounded Rama on the way, as well as Robin Hood, Billy the Kid, young  Elisabeth Báthory again, Geronomo and Nero who is trying to be an actress to fight them all. Also Scathach, Fionn Mac Cumhill and Diarmid are there too. But they just do things at random and Li Shuwen randomly shows up too.

Story of Camelot: What if the entire round table was just a bunch of psychopathic zealots who worthship the ground Arthur walked upon. And then got into a fight with Ozymandius and Nitrocris for the lulls while launching a magical tactical nuclear strike on the entirety of Crusader State Middle East. All the legends of Hassan is trying to stop them but Arash is there too. Tawara Tota is also there to distribute a shit ton of rice. Nothing you do here really matters. But Bedivere shows up to aid in the lackluster ending. Xuanzang Sanzang is also there.

Story of Babylonia: Not Enkidu answers to giant Medusa who is pretending to be Tiamat. Bringing about a massive army of demons and monsters to wipe out humanity in prehistoric Mesopotomia. Leonidas, Ushiwakamaru, and Benkai are doing their best to fight off the hordes. After three Demons go out like bosses before your arrival. Also young Medusa and Merlin are there cause why not? After befriending a woman in a tiger kigarumi, Quetzacoltal, Ishtar, and Ereshikigal. You find out defeating giant Medusa was a ploy to summon the real Tiamat and shit goes down. You eventually drop Tiamat into the Underworld where the First Hassan dewings her after which Ishtar, Ereshikigal, and Gilgamesh work together to defeat her. Ushiwakamaru is captured and comes back as an evil version of herself but with the aid Nekai and Quetzacoltal going out in a blaze of glory you defeat them all.

Story of Saloman: Every servant shows up to fight off Soloman and his Demons, turns out Soloman is the daemon Goetia possessing the corpse of Soloman. And the true Soloman is actually your acting director and base medical doctor. After your classmate sacrifices herself you defeat Goetia and Soloman decides he’s good for now and peaces out taking Goetia down with him and restoring humanity. Bringing your classmate back to life in the process.

But wait THERES MORE! The remaining Demons who survive the Goetia fight decide they’re mad they lost. So create some singularities to air out their grievances. Trapping you and the staff of Chaldea in a time space continuum until you hunt down and take them all out.

Story of Shinjuku: The League of Evil comprising of James Moriarty, Yan Qing, Darth Emiya, the Headless Horseman riding the Spirit of Vengeful Wolves, and the Phantom of the Opera take over 1990s Shinjuku for the fun of it. You have to enlist of the aid of James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, Darth Jeanne D’Arc, Darth Arthur Pendragon, and Edmond Dantes. Turns out Moriarty that was your ally was actually the true Moriarty and the one leading the League of Evil was the Demon you’re looking for. Summoning the power of all Fictional Detectives you defeat Moriarty. I shit you not.

Story of Agartha: Welcome to the Center of the Earth. Where the vast open plains are ruled by Darth Francis Drake, Penthesilea, and Wu Zetian. You are joined by Astolfo who takes the form of a cute anime girl but retains his gender, Chevalier d’Eon, and a young Fergus. Fighting the Queens and their respective empires with the aid of...sigh, Christopher Columbus. Surprising no one, Columbus turns out to be the true villain and with the aid of Shahrazad and a Demon almost Colony drops the Center of the Earth on top of the actual Earth, Age of Ultron style. But the power of friendship you win. Also Godzilla Heracles is running around.

Story of Shimosa: What if just after or before the Warring States period: Ashiya Doman, Yagyu Munenori, Minamoto no Raiko, Tomoe Gozen, Mochizuki Chiyome, and Shuten Doji showed up to fuck everything up? Including corrupting Hozoin Inshun just to be absolutely asinine? You get the power of a time traveling woman using the legend of Miyamoto Musashi to get into shenanigans. Also obtaining the aid of Fuma Kotaro and occasionally a robotic mecha Kato Danzo. The Demon sort of just appears backing Ashiya Doman.

Story of Salem: The Salem Witch trials but if done like the VVitch in a horror film manner. Not so much about the battles but about the atmosphere. As you, your classmate, Robin Hood, Charles Henri-Sanson, Nezha, Mata Hari, and the witch, Cirice posing as Medea for a few seconds there. Have to pose as a traveling circus of storytellers and entertainers. While the suspicions of the towns people grow darker. Ghouls and spirits begin to haunt the night. There are executions and the Demon turns out to be the one you least expect. The soul of a child is used to open up a gateway for an Outer God and shit goes down.

But wait there is even MORE!

Story of Prologue: You’ve hunted down and killed the demons. And now the world is back to normal. When a new force arrives to take over Chaldea in your stead. One of those new arrivals brings along an army to slaughter Chaldea and activates the end of the world by way of Alien Invasion. You get out of there in the nick of time via a magical meguffin mobile and now have to track down Lostbelts. Each one controlled by a King, a Master who was your former colleague who previously got blown up and now is now revived by the Aliens, and their servant as well. Good fucking luck chuck!

Story of Anatasia: Russia is fucked. Russia is SO FUCKED! That its been stuck in an Ice Age since the reign of Ivan the Terrible. The Russians are forced to use a magic to turn them into anthropamorphic beings and have been surviving barely due to the machanations of Saleri, Ivan the Terrible, Anastasia Romonov, the Master of this Lostbelt, and a particularly sadistic fox woman. With barely anything to go on and running out of fuel. You have to venture out into the eternal Russian Blizzard to get the aid of one of the locals, Avicebron and Darth Atlanta to defeat Anatasia, Ivan, and tear down their cosmic eldritch tree to restore humanity in that sector.

Story of Gotterdammerung: You made it out of Russia and into the Netherlands, where it seems on the cusp of Ragnarok. You are immediately facerolled by Sigurd being possessed by Sutr. Who is under the command of a master there. Enlisting the aid of Napoleon Bonaparte you fight back against Frost Giants, Valkyries, and Sigurd. Also enlisting the aid of Brynhildr to do so. You also have to contend with a girl made up of several goddesses and Scatach taking on the manter of Skadi.

Story of S I N: Out of the frying pan and into the China if it never left or evolved beyond the Qin Dynasty. Except for the Emperor who has become a giant space base, artifical intelligence reaching immortality. After having close calls with mecha centaur Xiang Yu, Qin Langyu, an older Li Shuwen,  Lanling Wang. The Emperor sees you teaching peasants how to read and coloney drops a piece of himself on the village. You send Spartacus to punch to meteor...I shit you not. And with the aid of Mordred, Jing Ke, Red Hare, and Chen Gong. You impress Emperor Qin to come out of his shell and reveal his butterfly god form. Also the Master in this Lostbelt is actually a fucking vampire.

And that’s all I’ve gotten to so far.

[deathonyourtongue]

Sanguine Nocturnus | 2

Summary: Even after 2000 years, the world can still surprise you. Pairing: AU!Henry Cavill x OFC Word Count: 3K Warnings: It’s a vampire fic. Death. Blood. Gore. Sex. Horror. Not for the kiddies or the squeamish. I mean it. A/N : Couldn’t leave y’all hanging a week without meeting our main character, now could I?

It was rare that he woke to an empty bed. Rarer still that he woke feeling as though every cell in his body was vibrating. Checking the time on his phone, he sat upright and looked around, keen eyes searching the pitch-black room for any sign of his previous night’s companion. His two dobermans, Phobos and Deimos, marked the spot, the dogs framing the corpse of last night’s entertainment. She’d been a pretty thing, fresh into her 20’s, and still so naive that she’d hung on every word he’d whispered in her ear. 

At least she didn’t die a virgin.

Bending down, he picked her up easily, slinging her over one shoulder as he made his way to the cold room. Too restless to take care of her immediately, he slipped her into one of the five drawers built into the wall and locked the room behind him. By the time he made it back upstairs to shower and dress, her face was already a half-forgotten memory in his mind.

Deciding on an all-black ensemble with a ruby-toned, velvet brocade waistcoat, he showered, dressed and stepped onto the wet cobbles of Rome’s quiet streets, still feeling as though electricity was coursing through him. The moon hung over the Pantheon, looming and casting a reddish glow on all below it.

Feeling none of the restless energy dissipate despite the fresh air, he turned in the direction of the Vatican, needing to take the edge off.

He’d been a customer of the club for years; ever since it opened in fact. Over the thirty years Romulus had been serving the public, the staff had come and gone, but thankfully the owner had stayed the same. Nodding to the man as he came in, the owner automatically motioned for the bartender to set up his drink, knowing his most loyal patron only ever drank one thing; Sanguinem. A blend of wine and other, more secretive ingredients, it was the oldest drink the owner ever kept in stock. The owner had tried it once or twice, always wincing when the metallic taste hit his tongue, always confused by the popularity of the drink among many of his patrons. 

 He sighed as he took a seat at the bar, his blue eyes gazing up at the artwork that adorned the walls. Seldom seen when the club was in full swing, the paintings were recreations of those who had encountered a brutal end. Everyone from Marie Antoinette to Kurt Cobain lined the walls, their images altered to show them post-mortem. Sometimes gruesome and always detailed, each painting was a one-of-one, and if times ever got tough, an easy sell to a discerning collector. 

As the name suggested, Romulus’ atmosphere evoked the age and bloody history of the city it called home. Dim lights, chaise lounges, and arched stone ceilings all lent to the feeling like one were in the catacombs beneath the city. Most nights, the place was flooded with red neon, the gleam of the lights off the dance floor emanating to every other corner of the establishment.

For a Saturday night, the place was oddly vacant, until he remembered that tonight was All Souls’ Day and most of Italy was either in church or in their homes, celebrating the holiday. He had never had much respect for religion, especially Catholicism; as far back as he could remember, the church had been the instigator of more deaths than any other group in the world.

“They can all go fuck themselves,” the patron muttered under his breath before taking his first swig, the bartender giving him a look as though the drinker had just murdered his mother. The owner smiled, knowing the man was referring not to the employees of the club, but to the religious fanatics that kept most of the country in church on a night like this.

“Non è cattolico.” The owner told the bartender, explaining the man’s religious views to the slightly offended man, who nodded in understanding as he connected the cussing to the holiday.

“Non cattolico a tutto.” The patron agreed, his tone low and sharp, his accent different than that of his fellow countrymen.

“Thank you for the drink, old friend.” The man said as he took his final sip, standing to his full height before extending his hand to the owner who shook it happily, his smile filled with the usual wonder that came across his face whenever he observed his patron up close. Although years went by and the world changed, his loyal customer never seemed to age a day. 

No money was ever exchanged, the owner having long ago gifted his patron with a lifetime supply of Sanguinem in exchange for a certain…favor he’d needed done. 

Herminius Calvisius, Henry as he was known these days, had indeed done a few favours for a select few in Italy over the years. Personally, he adored when said favours had to do with the Vatican, for he loved the food there; if you could call it that. 

Food for Henry was not exactly appetizing fare for most others he resembled. Henry's idea of a meal usually consisted of a glass of Merlot followed by a pretty young thing looking for a good time around one of the dark alleys surrounding Vatican City at midnight. He never failed to get a laugh out of the shock that came from the Swiss Guard when they would find the woman the next morning, pale as St. Peter's Basilica, with the exception of two gentle circles in her throat.

 Yes, he was un vampiro, as they liked to call him; a vampire.

Tonight however, the meals would be scarce, and since he was quite selective of his dinner—despite favouring the occasional streetwalker—Henry found his feet guiding him towards one of the few places where blood was a commodity.

Located just outside the Porta Settimiana, the old villa was vast, and most found it disturbing, in a way they simply couldn’t define. It made the hairs on their arms stand, and quickened their step, but if one were to ask, not a single soul could say why they avoided the piece of history. 

To Henry, it was like gazing on the picture of heaven. 

It was the first place he had deemed worthy enough to call home after he became immortal, and it had yet to lose its value in his eyes. Prying open the gate, which badly needed oiling, Henry smiled as he saw Brutus stand from the front door to greet him.

“Hello, boy. It’s been ages, has it not?” He greeted as he pet the mastiff that eagerly sniffed him for bones.

“None today, boy, my apologies.” Henry’s lips turned downwards at the same time as the dog’s, both spending a few more silent moments together before the large black door of the Italianate house was opened.

Had a human have witnessed the action, their blood would have run cold, for like many of the other houses of the period, the front door of this one was unbelievably heavy, usually taking the strength of two men to open. The hand that gripped it however, was delicate, manicured and thin; precisely the hand belonging to the woman he had come to see.

“Lucrezia, my love, hello.” Truly, being in her presence over the years had provided Henry with a great many memories, and fond ones at that, something which was scant for one such as himself.

“Hello, my little hermit.” She smiled. Others in the Roman coven had always called her grin wicked, but to him, it was beautiful and warm; one of the few smiles that had ever pervaded his dreams, turning nightmares into impish fairy tales.

Lucrezia, as her name would suggest, was also Italian, and although younger than him, she had seen the days when Rome ruled the earth—or what was known of it at the time. She had seen several Caesars come and go, and had been just outside the senate when Julius himself had met his end at the tip of Brutus’ blade.

Her hematite locks descended past her shoulders in loose waves, only serving to accentuate impeccable bone structure, a creamy complexion, and burgundy lips she methodically painted every time she awoke. Henry could tell she was feeling dramatic today, as she was wearing an old Roman gown, given to her by a courtier during the reign of Octavian.

“What’s the occasion, Lucy?” Smiling at the intended reaction he got at the nickname, he did not hesitate to kiss her cheek in pardon.

“I do hate it when you call me that, Henry; Makes me sound like a child.”

Indeed to any onlooker, she might be confused for one, Lucrezia having been made an immortal at the tender age of twenty. He did not know her then, but news of her beauty spread quickly among the covens of the Empire, her likeness drawn on both papyrus and walls alike, so that any who felt the need could gaze upon her visage. Henry smiled, remembering how the portraits did her little justice when he finally gazed upon her in the flesh.

“If you must know however, I had company over just an hour ago, and there’s some very exciting news coming from the coven.”

“Will I have to be there?” Henry rolled his eyes, knowing that any news from the coven could only be one of two things; either there was to be a new celebration, or one of the elders had gone to ground and a new one had been chosen to take his place.

“Hush. I haven’t even told you the news yet. Marius was lovely enough to come and keep me company tonight on such a dreadful holiday, and since he had just been to the house, he was brimming with new gossip that I just had to hear. Apparently, Cassius has decided to sleep, and a new elder will be taking his place. According to Marius, this one is…different.”

“Different how?” Henry asked, his interest piqued despite his detestation for any and all gossip to come out of the coven he had so long ago abandoned in favour of a life less formal.

“Well, first off he’s apparently quite…awe striking, fear-inducing, etcetera. A real Roman sculpture is how Marius described him. And secondly, he’s of the…Greek persuasion, if you will.”

Her grin became even more deviant as the two headed inside towards the parlor, Lucrezia immediately pulling a decanter off a small flame and pouring two glasses of blood so good, the scent alone was enough to make Henry’s head spin.

“A boy lover?” He asked, looking curiously at his companion. It was not uncommon for those of his kind to frolic with their own sex, but among the elders and those next in line, it was a rarity, simply because it was a public imbalance among the sexes of the coven and their kind liked nothing more than to appear egalitarian.

“MAN lover, actually. If Marius was looking at the right man, then apparently our next elder has already found a companion in Fares.” Henry raised his eyebrows, indifferent to the news.

“Where do you find them?” He asked, tipping his glass in reference to the fine liquid he soon after began pouring down his throat.

“Oh, you know…The old money, the papacy, the brothels, the usual.” They shared a laugh, both knowing that no matter what a person’s station in life, their blood did little to hide their history.

“Well, my dear, for someone as young as you, you have fine taste.” And with that, he took a full drink, feeling his body reconstitute in seconds.

“Back to this fledgling, my love, and pay attention. The ceremony is taking place two nights from now, at the house, and yes, you must attend.”

Henry tried to hide his annoyance at the fact that despite severing ties to the house, he was still required to go to such frivolous functions, for the sake of tradition alone. For all he knew, the fledgling was already in power, probably getting the youngest members of the house to do his dirty work for him. 

Above all though, he felt bitter that despite his lack of connection, he had yet again been passed over as elder of the coven. It was not as if he were the youngest of vampires. Over 2,000 years old and plenty educated in the ways of the coven, Henry found it an insult to be passed over time after time; it was one of the many reasons he’d separated himself from their ancient ways. 

“How old is this boy lover and what’s his name?” Henry asked, feigning interest for Lucrezia’s sake, only mildly interested in knowing whether this new elder was an acquaintance or not.

“He is a 26, and his name is...Gab-No! Gregory, from what Marius could gather. Do you know him?”

“Is he Italian?” Henry asked, knowing that the chances of this man being familiar to him would increase tenfold if he was of Roman descent.

“When have you known the elders to ever pick a foreigner as the next in line? Of course he’s Italian.” Lucrezia laughed, thinking Henry foolish for even entertaining the notion.

“Well, there was the time when we put in a Frenchman, temporarily. That didn’t go over too well though.” He reminded her, every member of the coven all too eager to forget that one particular mistake in their history.

“And you said he was my 26? As in, older than me?”

“No. 26, as in he was born yesterday,” Lucrezia’s eyes went wide, her gaze speaking volumes to Henry as she took a sip from her chalice. He, like her, was scandalized that they’d pick someone so young to their ways to be the next leading elder.  

Licking his lips, he tried to remember all the faces he had come across in the last three decades, linking each to a name and finding that none of them matched the one he’d been given.

“Unless my memory deceives me, or he has changed his name, I do not know him.”

“Pity, for I was hoping you’d introduce me.” Lucrezia grinned, a single line of blood falling from the corner of her lips, making her indeed look like a celluloid vampire.

Finishing off her chalice, Lucrezia’s blue-green eyes turned to the night beyond her window, Henry smiling as he sensed where the night would go.

“Everyone’s tripping over themselves, naturally; either in love with his youth and beauty, or wanting to maim Cassius for choosing a fledgling who hasn’t even weaned yet, as far as Marius could tell.”

“It’s little wonder Cassius decreed you--” Lucrezia stopped short, her eyes traveling up and over the lip of her chalice, a devilish smirk exposing her fangs as she waited for Henry’s reaction.

“Decreed me to what, Lucy?” Henry asked with a warning tone, one eyebrow raising as he waited for her to spill the rest of the gossip she’d received second-hand.

“Decreed that you will be his tutor in all things...Vampiric.” Her delicate fingers slipped through the air, creating a ballet all their own and momentarily distracting Henry from his own ire.

“He has no power to do so! Lucrezia, tell me this is another one of your humorless jests!” He finally barked, teeth bared as he stood and began to pace around the room.

“I’m afraid not, my darling. If Marius was correct, the decree came with an ultimatum as well. Come to heel, or…” 

“That pompous bastard. He knows full well what he does. I knew it would be another century of trouble once he rose. Had to get one last kick to the teeth in. I swear, if this is still because I told him his mother was a beautiful as a donkey’s prick, I will have his head while he SLEEPS!”

“Easy, Centurion. It’s generally frowned upon to decapitate an elder nowadays. Come, let us slake your lust elsewhere. I ordered in.” Her smile turned even more secretive as she rang a bell next to the snifter, Lucrezia’s gentle hands pressing Henry towards the area of the parlor that she’d long ago turned into something more closely resembling an Andaruni. 

Slipping her hands into the collar of his jacket, Lucrezia helped Henry undress before allowing him to do the same to her, the sweet tone of her giggle as she spun out of her dress completely dissipating any of the lingering anger Henry felt. When they were both nude and relaxed among the many cushions that separated them from the floor, Lucrezia’s day man sent in a feast. 

“Twins! Lucy, you’ve outdone yourself.” Henry’s eyebrow raised for a very different reason as both he and Lucrezia opened their arms for the two young blondes who had been ushered in, bare, and more than a little tipsy if their footsteps were anything to go by. 

“What did you give them tonight?” Henry questioned with a chuckle, reaching up and catching one of the girls before she could crash headlong into the low table that held a variety of accoutrements for pre and post-dinner. Undeterred, the woman found her way easily into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as she did a sloppy grind of her hips against his hardening shaft.

“Just the usual. Bit of Absinthe, touch of Laudanum for the nerves.”

“I owe you dinner.” Henry smiled as he sank into the girl in his arms, watching as she arched back instinctively against the exquisite pleasure he provided.

Moans filled the air before a deathly silence blanketed the villa, two more souls joining the countless others being prayed for on that sacred night.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #22: Romulus

Welcome back to Fate and Phantasms, today we’re building Rome, possibly in a day. Roma may be all things, but we’re going to narrow it down to three goals:

Magna Voluisse Magnum: We need “tree manipulation abilities” to match his Noble Phantasm.

The Seven Hills: You can grant blessings to your “children”.

Weirdly enough, talking to animals isn’t a named skill, but it is something you can do.

As usual, a spreadsheet for this build can be found over here, and a detailed explanation for the build is below the cut!

Race and Background

You are the son of a human and Mars (or possibly Heracles, ancient stories are iffy like that), making you a pretty clear-cut Aasimar. Building and protecting civilization is also your thing, making you an Aasimar of the Protector variety. As an Aasimar, you get +1 to Wisdom and +2 to Charisma, 60′ of Darkvision, Healing Hands, letting you spend an action to heal a creature for your level in hit points once per long rest, Celestial Resistance, letting you resist necrotic and radiant damage, and the Light cantrip.

As for your background, there’s equal arguments for making you an outlander or a noble. On one hand, you raised up a major civilization, and that makes you kind of a big deal. On the other, you were raised by wolves. I think we’ll save the noble background for the second go at romulus down the line, though. As an Outlander, you have proficiency in Athletics and Survival, and can memorize terrain and forage for food better than others.

Piety

Mythic Odyssey of Theros overhauled D&D’s piety system into something DMs might actually remember to use, opening up new character customization options. Since Piety is heavily dependent on DM participation and is relatively new, it won’t be a major part of this build, but could add extra flavor to the character if the DM is okay with it. You gain piety by acting in ways that your god of choice is cool with, and lose piety by acting in ways your god isn’t. When you pass certain thresholds of piety, you gain benefits relating to that god. Ephara is the god of city building, which is kind of your thing, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to rack up piety with her. At 3+ piety, you can cast Comprehend Languages a number of times per long rest equal to your intelligence modifier. At 10+ piety, you gain advantage on persuasion checks while inside a city, and can reroll a failed intelligence save once per long rest. At 25+ piety, you can cast Mordenkainen’s Private Sanctum once per long rest, letting you thwart any dramatic teleportation based kidnappings that would normally happen. Finally, if you get 50 piety or more you can improve your intelligence or charisma score by 2, even if that score is already at 20.

Admittedly, invoking the name of a Magic the Gathering god here is a pretty major flavor fail, but you can always just say you’re really getting help from Mercury, and that will be a little closer to the point.

Stats

Put your highest stat into Wisdom. You built one of the greatest nations in the world, that generally requires a good understanding of the people you’re ruling. Next is Strength. Much like Leonidas, those abs aren’t for show. Next will be Constitution, trust me you’ll be needing that health. Follow that up with Dexterity. There isn’t much evidence to put it one way or the other, but we need it for your AC. After that comes Intelligence, you’re not stupid, but you can be a little hot blooded, and also we needed other stats more. Finally, dump Charisma. You do have a way with words, in your own strange way, but it’s definitely not your standard charisma. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to persuade people in a couple levels.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: When you start as a fighter, you get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves as well as two skills from the fighter list; grab Animal Handling to wrangle your brothers better and Insight, because you’re good at knowing what makes Rome so Rome.

At first level you get a Fighting Style. Grab Dueling, adding 2 to damage rolls made while wielding only a one-handed weapon, because nothing else really applies to you. You also have a Second Wind, letting you heal as a bonus action, giving back 1d10 plus your fighter level in HP.

2. Fighter 2: At second level, you gain an Action Surge, letting you add another action to one turn once per short rest. A lot can happen in a Roma minute, so you want to be able to stuff as much into one turn as possible.

3. Fighter 3: A third level, fighters pick their martial archetype. Flavor wise, you’re probably more of a Champion, but we’re trying to fit 21 levels of classes into a 20 level character, so instead of a second level of Barbarian (oops, spoilers) we’re taking the Samurai archetype. When you take the archetype, you gain proficiency in one of several skills, and we’re grabbing Persuasion to help bring the city-states together. Samurai also gain a Fighting Spirit, giving you advantage on all weapon attacks this turn as a bonus action, and also giving you 5 temporary hit points. You can use the feature three times per long rest.

As a Protector Aasimar, you also have a Radiant Soul, letting you spend an action once per long rest to transform yourself, gaining a flight speed of 30′, and you can add your level in radiant damage to attacks you make once per turn. The transformation lasts for a minute, or until you end it as a bonus action.

4. Fighter 4: Use your first ASI to improve your Constitution, for more health, and better AC in a bit.

5. Barbarian 1: Hop over to barbarian for a bit to show off those abs of yours thanks to Unarmored Defense, turning your AC into 10 + Con + Dex when you aren’t wearing armor. You also gain access to Rage, and we’ve been through this song and dance before. You can’t use or concentrate on spells while raging, get resistance to common weapon attacks, deal extra damage while making strength based attacks, and have advantage on strength saves and checks. A lot of that isn’t going to be that useful this time around, but the damage reduction may come in handy.

6. Druid 1: Continuing our tour of the class system, bounce into druid for some more goodies. You surprisingly fit well as a druid. You can talk to animals (maybe) and control trees. On all levels except second, you are pretty druidic. At this level you learn Druidic, letting you speak a language that no one will use, and leave secret messages in that language. Those who know druidic can spot and read them immediately, but anyone else needs to succeed on a dc 15 wisdom check to find them, and even then will need a spell to translate the message. 

You also get spellcasting at this level, including two cantrips and first level spells. Druids can technically use any spell they have the slots for, but it needs to be prepared at the start of the day. You can prepare a number of spells equal to your druid level + your wisdom modifier at the end of a long rest, and use your wisdom as your spellcasting ability. For your cantrips, grab Resistance to give “your children” a minor blessing in the form of a d4 they can add to one save, and Shillelagh to make your weapon attacks surprisingly strong. I know officially you use a spear, but you’re never really able to see the head of it, so that’s just enough leeway for me to call it a quarterstaff. For a minute after casting the spell, you can use wisdom instead of strength when making attack and damage rolls with your weapon, and the damage die used becomes a d8. You can only have one casting of Shillelagh going at a time, despite not being a concentration spell, and it also ends early if you let go of your weapon.

As far as level one spells go, I would suggest using spells that involve your kinship with beasts, such as Animal Friendship or Beast Bond, or spells that help other members of you party who you consider children of Roma, such as Cure Wounds or Longstrider. You can prepare damaging spells if you want, but you can already hit people with a stick to do that.

7. Druid 2: As a second level druid, you gain the feature you’ll probably be ignoring to stay in character, Wild Shape. This abilities lets you spend an action twice per short rest to transform into a beast. At 2nd level, the beast has to be at most CR 1/4, with no flying or swimming speed. You can stay in this form a number of hours equal to half your druid level, or until you fall unconscious, drop to 0 hp, or die. While transformed, your physical stats and HP total are equal to the creature’s  You also gain the beasts’ skills and saving throw proficiencies if they’re better than yours. Transforming back leaves you at whatever HP you had before you transformed, unless you turn back by taking damage. Whatever damage is left over after dropping you to 0 hp then gets applied to your normal form. You can’t cast spells while transformed, but you can still concentrate or take actions as a part of a spell you’ve already cast. You can use other abilities from class level and racial feats, but special senses like darkvision don’t work unless the beast form also have them. Finally, you have to either drop all your gear, make it disappear for a bit, or continue wearing it, the last one at your DM’s discretion. Equipment that is merged into your body doesn’t have any effect.

Now that all that text is out of the way, here’s more text. You also join a Druid Circle at this level. You’re joining the Circle of the Land for an extra cantrip and more spell slots. Land druids have a Natural Recovery, letting you recover a number of spell slots during a short rest that combine to equal half your druid level. For example, right now you’ll just be able to get back one level one slot. For your bonus cantrip, grab the most powerful spell in the game, Druidcraft, the only spell that always predicts the future with 100% accuracy. Casting the spell can create one of several effects, including a weather prediction for up to 24 hours, an instantly blooming flower, a harmless sensory effect of your choice, or lighting/snuffing out a candle, torch, or campfire.

8. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an extra attack per turn, so you can now make two attacks per turn, or four if you use your Action Surge.

9. Fighter 6: Use another ASI to increase your Wisdom for more damage and better spells.

10. Fighter 7: Seventh level Samurai become an Elegant Courtier, letting you add your wisdom modifier to your persuasion checks, because you’re now clever enough to look like you know what you’re doing. You also gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws, because you’re awesome like that.

11. Druid 3: Third level druids gain 2nd level spells, and Land druids become a member of a specific circle, either Arctic, Coast, Deseert, Forest, Grassland, Mountain, Swamp, or the Underdark. Given the physical location of Rome, you’ll be a Coastal druid. At this level, you learn Mirror Image and Misty Step, which are always prepared for you, and don’t count for the number of spells you can prepare. For spells at this level, I would suggest spells like Animal Messenger to make some homing pigeons and Enhance Ability for even better blessing to bestow upon your party.

12. Druid 4: At this level your Wild Shape improves. Now you can transform into beasts of CR 1/2 or lower, and you can use beasts that have a swim speed. Also, use your next ASI to become more Durable, adding 1 to your constitution and letting you heal a minimum of 2x your constitution modifier per hit die rolled. To be perfectly honest, this didn’t have much to do with being Romulus, but the extra utility is way more useful than one more point, since every other score you have is even already.

You also learn a new cantrip, so grab Create Bonfire to, well, create a bonfire. Yes, fire, the untamed element, oldest of man’s mysteries! Giver of warmth, destroyer of forests! Right now, you can make fire! And force a dexterity saving throw on whoever is standing in said fire, or they take 3d8 fire damage.

13. Druid 5: Fifth level druids get 3rd level spells, including two circle spells. Your freebie spells for this level are Water Breathing and Water Walk, very helpful for starting a coastal city. Or a religion, I won’t judge. Other spells to look at this level include Conjure Animals to summon your less bipedal children, and Protection from Energy to give protection from the more common spell damage types.

14. Fighter 8: Taking a break in some shorter levels for a bit, Use your next ASI to max out your Wisdom for even more damage and spellpower.

15. Fighter 9: You become Indomitable, giving you a free do-over on a failed save once per long rest.

16. Fighter 10: Tenth level Samurai gain a Tireless Spirit. If you start a fight with no more Fighting Spirit left, you gain one back. Your Fighting spirit also improves, giving you 10 temporary hit points instead of 5.

17. Druid 6: Land druids learn the Land’s Stride, letting you ignore nonmagical difficult terrain and damage from nonmagical plants. You also have advantage on saving throws caused by magical plants, such as the entangle spell.

18. Druid 7: This level gives you 4th level spells and two more freebies, Control Water and Freedom of Movement. The former is great for protecting your city from enemy navies (or starting a religion, we won’t judge), and the latter will help your “children” keep up with you as you already ignore most difficult terrain anyway. 

19. Druid 8: Your Wild Shape improves once again, adding flying creatures to the mix as well as creatures of CR 1 or lower. Use your last ASI to improve your Constitution for more health and a higher AC.

20. Druid 9: With your last level, you access 5th level spells, including your circle spells Conjure Elemental and Scrying. At this level, you finally gain access to the two spells most congruous with your Noble Phantasms. For  Magna Voluisse Magnum, use Wrath of Nature to animate all plant life in a 60′ cube to attack your enemies, also turning any grassland in the area into difficult terrain for your enemies. At the end of your turn, all enemies within 10′ of a tree must succeed on a dex save or take 4d6 slashing damage. One creature on the ground each turn must make a strength saving throw or be restrained by roots and vines. Restrained creatures can also make an Athletics check to try and escape. As a bonus action each turn, you can launch a rock at a creature in the cube. Make a ranged spell attack, and on a hit deal 3d8 nonmagical bludgeoning damage. On a hit, the target must also make a Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

To emulate Moles Necessarie, use Wall of Stone to create ten 10′ square stone panels to protect yourself and the party. If you can keep your concentration for the full 10 minutes, the walls then become permanent.

[yuna-dan]

Only the Ocean.  Prelude: Hey there, lonely girl.

So, I did went wild.

Anyways, this is a Pirate AU, but slightly modern, mainly because of my terrible english, haha.

Special thanks, once again to @awkwardkindanerd​, @logically-asexual​ and @just-some-gt-trash​

--

Summary: "It was almost as if the ocean would talked to me, you know" Remus did know, of course he did."Yes, I understand."Logan have always feel a deep connection with the sea, for some reason.

Warning: Off Toxic Relationship. Body Horror. Minor Character Death.

Relationship: Logince. Platonic Intrulogical. Dukceit. Moxiety You can read it on AO3

--

Romulus didn’t understand why he never fit it. It wasn’t as if he was a bad king, he was an excellent king, mind you. He ruled merpeople and sea creatures with kindness, and the Kingdom was flourishing, so it wasn’t that he was scared of something.

He was, lonely. He hated feeling like that.

One day, he was mopping on his loneliness near the shore when he saw her. The most beautiful human he had ever laid eyes on. He couldn’t help but followed her, and to his surprise, she lived near the shore, one small hole allowed him to peek into her house.

She also seemed lonely. 

Being king, had its perks, one being that he could leave the throne room and the kingdom whenever he wanted. From that day on he decided to use that perk, and every morning he would sing to his lady.

---

Rachel was a lonely woman. It didn’t exactly bother her, except it completely bothered her. When she left his ex-husband, it was for the best, she still has to cover some bruises he left.

She sighed, and only then she started to hear the same melody from every day. It almost seemed as if the melody came from the sea.

She has always loved the sea, that’s why when she left him, she decided to find a house near the ocean. 

She opened the window and smiled when the melody became stronger. She leaned into the balcony and stared into the small waves that hit her house, and only then she saw a red tail shining into the water.

She smiled.

--

Romulus visited her every day, until one day a small thing got into the water and he stopped singing. He looked up and saw her throwing things into the water. Some fishes decided to start eating it.

“Is it good?” He asked a clownfish, who nodded. He tried it.

It was good.

-

Rachel saw her red fish eating the cookie she was breaking and throwing from the balcony and she smiled.

It was dumb, she knew, but whenever the red fish visited her, the melody also came, and she felt less lonely.

--

It was in the middle of the night when Rachel noticed that the fish, it wasn’t really a fish but a freaking merman. 

“Please don’t scream.” He said, showing his hands that had some thin skin in between his fingers.

“You sing to me…” It was all she could say.

“Yes.”

They smiled, and suddenly they weren’t lonely anymore.

--

The first time Romulus shape to his human form in front of her, it was also their first kiss, and their first time together. 

Romulus continue to be an amazing king, so no one had any complaint that he would disappear some days.

Rachel was like a ghost in the town she lived, but when Romulus was around, she couldn’t care less.

--

Romulus stared at her as if she was speaking another language, “What do you mean pregnant?” He finally asked, “Are you going to lay eggs?”

Rachel laughed gently, and took his hand, putting it on her belly “Something like that. You are going to be a father, Rom.” She smiled.

--

The first time Rachel went into the ocean, she was holding into Romulus’ arm for her life and yet admiring everything, the rest of merpeople were whispering into a language she didn’t understand.

“Why can’t I understand them?” Romulus smiled at her. 

“I didn’t know you could speak Atlantean, sweetheart.” She pouted.

“I understand you.” 

“Yes, but I learn English, remember the first times?” She laughed, and it was true, Romulus stuttering was such a funny thing.

Romulus introduced Rachel to the kingdom counselors, who were shocked at the beginning, but smiled. Rachel was so creeped out she didn’t know dolphins could smiled, what the actual fuck.

“I supposed this is your goodbye, your majesty.” Said an older merman, swimming closer to them.

Romulus first translated to Rachel, “It is, sir. My wife is expecting babies, and soon I will be a father.”

“Very well, my king.” The merman, said in that language Rachel didn’t understand, “Just remember that us merpeople can’t be to apart from the sea for a long period of time.”

“I know, sir.”

They threw a small goodbye party to King Romulus, the best King they could’ve ever asked for.

-

Rachel kissed her husband as they stared the small crib were two babies fall asleep, “Roman is a merman,” Romulus said, chuckling when the small golden and red tail tapped (golpeteaba) the bed. “The sages say he can spend all the time he wanted outside the Ocean since he is half human.” He kissed the forehead of his son, who giggled and suddenly his tail shift into two small, chubby legs.

Rachel would probably never get used to that, “Remus is human,” He continued, petting the small tentacle his son created, “Apparently he can shift whenever he can into whatever sea creature and can breathe under water even in his human form.”

“This is so surreal.” She said, finally. “I ended up marrying the king of seas,”

“… ex-king, actually.”

“And having two beautiful babies.” She shushed him with a small kiss, “If they get sick, do I take them to the doctor or to the vet?”

---

Romulus knew he should’ve spent more time in the water, so when he noticed that death was close, it was too late.

The kids were merely five years old.

--

Rachel died when the twins were sixteen years old.

--

Rumor has it, that only one twin went back into the water. There’s no evidence of what happened to the other one.

Time passed by, and the story of Rachel and Romulus was forgotten by everyone. 

--

Sometimes, when King Roman was feeling lonely, he would sing to the moon.

Sometimes, when Captain Remus was feeling lonely, he would sing to the moon

At least, they still have each other.

---

So, yes. The hole is a window, btw. 

Romulus song is this one but instead of the piano is him doing aahhhs like Ariel when Ursula took away his voice. 

All the chapters will have the title of a song, and this one was this and the fic on this one

If you wanna be tagged on future fics please reach to this

@theunoriginaldaisy​

[themysteryofwriting]

The Creativity Split

When we talked to Thomas about his creativity becoming two parts, it was probably easy to believe that it happened overnight. But it was clear to pretty much all of the other sides, light, dark, or otherwise, that it was actually a more elongated process. Patton would never admit it, but Creativity splitting into Roman and Remus was partially his fault.

While no one is sure when exactly it started, it was clearly during some time in Thomas’s late toddler to early kid phase. Because by the time Thomas was a preteen, Romulus was no more. Romulus being Creativity, at least before he split.

The change in Romulus started small. And we were 90 percent sure that it was Patton’s comments that started the split. I wasn’t even there at the beginning but I did get some information from Logan later, as I knew he had been there for the whole thing. Romulus used to share all his ideas with anyone who would listen. Which was actually more than just Patton and Logan as the mind palace hadn’t yet split into the light and dark sides yet, which also meant that the neutral sides also just hung around, seeing no reason to not split up. Maybe that was Romulus’s first mistake. Not that there was anything wrong with him sharing his ideas, but maybe he shouldn’t have shared the darker ones with Patton. That’s where Logan believes the change in Romulus started.

Logan first noticed it one day when Romulus, happy and grinning as usual, decided to show it on a day where his idea wasn’t exactly a happy one. His drawing was more dark and disturbing than his recent drawings,most of which had been happy and cheerful. Logan said that Thomas had a nightmare the night before, so he assumed that’s where Romulus’ idea had come from. Romulus started doing his normal thing and showing the picture to everyone. And everyone reacted fine, maybe a little creeped out by it, until he showed it to Patton. Patton originally was happy to see the picture, until he saw what it actually was. The change on Patton’s face was immediate.

“Romulus,” Patton said, his voice changing to the parent trying to teach his kid a lesson, “Why did you draw this?”

“It was an idea,” Romulus said so cheerfully, cheerfully enough that Logan was sure he had no idea what was coming.

“Romulus, this is something only a bad person would draw, you’re not a bad person are you?”

That statement caused every single person in the common area to shoot their head up. Logan himself, knew that wasn’t true. While at the time, he was Curiosity and not Logic, he still inherently knew that to be false. Everyone had a different reaction to what Patton said, but one thing stayed constant. No one could believe that Patton had said that to Romulus, as he was currently the youngest side, and therefore the most impressionable. It was an unwritten rule that you were to let the younger sides figure out themselves where they belonged. And yet it seemed Patton was trying to convince Romulus otherwise.

“No,” Romulus muttered, not understanding why Patton was so upset with him. As far as Logan could determine, Romulus hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Then you probably shouldn’t create things like this, right,” Patton asked Romulus.

“I guess not,” he muttered so most of them could barely hear.

Patton smiled at Romulus and patted his head. “Good, after all, handsome princes like you don’t create things like this.” Romulus, dejected from what Patton had just told him ran back to his room. From what Logan said, most of the other sides started yelling at Patton. And from it sounded like, this happened repeatedly.

It eventually got to the point where when I appeared four years later, Deceit took me in so Patton couldn’t try to do the same to me. By that point I showed up, Romulus had gotten more conservative when it came to sharing his ideas, and he rarely, if ever, showed the bad ones. He never even showed the bad ones to Patton anymore yet somehow Patton still found out about them. It was never good when Patton found out. He would normally pull Romulus to the side and have a stern talking to him.

Logan told me that he believes that Patton’s manipulating someone who was clearly supposed to be a neutral side into becoming a ‘light’ side is what caused it. And that wasn’t the worst of what happened.

The worst happened later. When the ‘dark side’ of Romulus decided that enough was enough. No one, besides probably Romulus was sure how it had started. I tried asking Roman about and he told me he didn’t remember enough of that time to answer. He told me something like, “The time before we split was hazy. I know I remembered it then but now I only remember bits and pieces.” I’m not sure if he was telling the truth, didn’t want to talk about it, or if Romulus had blocked it out. None of us are really sure which it is.

While between the time I showed up and the obvious changes nothing seemed to be happening with Romulus, both Logan and I believed that wasn’t the case. Thinking about how Remus represents intrusive thoughts, it’s almost improbable that Romulus wasn’t hearing some sort of voice from his ‘dark side’ after Patton finally convinced him to stop drawing things that Patton saw as dark and disturbing. This is almost confirmed by how quiet Romulus would suddenly become sometimes during a conversation. It definitely drew the attention of a lot of the others of Romulus was normally a happy and cheerful side. But after he stopped catering to his ‘dark side’ he became quieter.

The thing that made everyone take notice, even Patton, who we were all sure was trying to deny what he had done to Romulus, was when he wasn’t just Romulus again. If was still even Romulus. At that point, he could have already split and we wouldn’t have known. I can’t be for certain, but I’m pretty sure I was the first one to find out. Like I said, I can't be 100 percent certain but no one else had talked about it yet so it’s what I believe happened.

All I had been trying to do was get a snack from the kitchen. As I walked I saw Romulus but he seemed ...different. “Het, you doing okay,” I asked quietly as a walked up. For some reason I could feel my anxiety ramping up. I wasn’t completely sure why until he turned around and shot me a grin that was nothing like Romulus. I took a step back, realizing why I felt so anxious as I walked in. That may have been Romulus’ body but it wasn’t Romulus.

Whoever it was grinned at me. “Fear, it’s good to see you. Do you think you can help me set up this prank for Logan.”

I hesitated before asking my own question. “Who exactly are you? You’re not Romulus, that much is clear.”

The side in front of me stuck at his tongue and blew a raspberry at me. “Come on Fear, I thought you would be more fun than that.” He paused for a second before he grinned. “I know, I’ll go ask Deceit, he’ll probably help me.” Romulus, no that wasn’t Romulus. Whoever he was ran off, probably to find Deceit, and I just stood there in shock.

It didn’t take long for the other sides to realize what was going on and start talking about it. From what he sounded like, what Ro, I mean whoever he was at the time, acted like depended on who he was talking to. If he talked to Patton or Logan, he acted like the Romulus that everyone knew and loved. If he talked to any of the dark sides, including me, he acted like the guy I ran into the kitchen. And for the neutral sides, who he acted like depended where they currently leaned towards.

For Deceit and the others this was the last straw. They started separating from the others, specifically Patton. Though it was clear Patton was starting to feel guilty. The only reason we weren’t leaving the others entirely. It’s almost like Deceit knew what was about to happen.

It finally happened about two months after I noticed Romulus acting strange. We were all in the main living room and Romulus started muttering to himself. I glanced up from what I was looking at, trying to figure out if both versions of him had gone crazy or if it was just the crazier one arguing with himself like I had walked upon him doing before. I almost jumped back when I saw what was really happening.

It was almost exactly like an unfusing from Steven Universe. One second Romulus was arguing with himself, and the next there was this bright flash and there were two different Creativities.

One looked exactly like a Prince with a white suit and a red sash. He looked really neat, at least compared to the other one. Not to mention he looked like the Prince from every single fairy tale ever. It gave me a weird urge to punch him, which didn’t really go away until after I was accepted into the group.

The other Creativity was probably the one I had been talking to. He looked a lot dirtier than the other one. He wore an outfit that was similar to the one the other Creativity was wearing, except it was green and black instead of red and white. Not to mention it almost looked like he had thrown it into a trash compactor. Before I could even react, Deceit stood up and grabbed the trashier Creativity.

“Fear, we’re leaving,” he said, and I went to follow him. As I left, I noticed the look of horror on Patton’s face, as it seemed he was just realizing exactly what he had done by manipulating Romulus. I almost paused before Deceit yelled again and I followed him.

Looking back on what happened, I realized there were multiple opportunities where even I could have stepped in to stop Patton. This is not saying Patton is completely innocent, but he isn’t completely at fault either. There were multiple times we could have stopped him. No one knows what it would have been like if we had Romulus instead of Roman or Remus but we know it would’ve been different.

~Virgil

[slaygentford]

5 shows meme

thanks @thegeminisage for starting this so that I can uhhhh procrastinate and thanks @tomasortega for reminding me 

rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) people.

succession 

g*t 

rome hbo 

nbc kings

literally can't think of anything except outlander.

who is your favorite character in 2 (g*t)? none of them. this show sucks. actually wait oberyn because he was played by mister pedro and he died too soon for anyone to fuck him over 

who is your least favorite character in 1 (succession)? stewie... he’s so annoying and his name is stewie

what is your favorite episode of 4 (nbc kings)? PILOT PILOT PILOT PILOT that's the most ambitious network pilot ive ever seen 

what is your favorite season of 5 (outlander)? none of them. I wish I could wipe this show off the face of the earth. I wish I could step thru the stones and kill Diana gabaldon. if I had to pick it would be the s1 ONLY. for the s1 theme music. which is on my Sansa Stark playlist. 

who is your favorite couple in 3 (Rome hbo)? nobody @ me but ABSOLUTELY Livia and Octavian? their instant compatibility and recognition scene when they first meet stuck with me so much 

who is your favorite couple in 2 (g*t)? starting to wonder why I put g*t on here actually is it too late to change my responses. theon/sansa had me going there for a min tho 

what is your favorite episode of 1 (succession)? both season finales are phenom but honestly the one with the dinner party where Logan makes the 3 men he suspects of treason crawl on the floor and oink like pigs and the writer said he took inspiration from Stalin’s dinner parties where he’d get his generals drunk and extract blackmail material........ fuck. close second is the Kendall suicide wall ep 

what is your favorite episode of 5 (outlander)? honestly the only part of this show I could stand was KING Tobias Menzies switching effortlessly between blackjack Randall and what’s his name her first husband. Tobias Menzies hive STAY WINNING 

what is your favorite season of 2 (g*t) ? season one was genuinely such good television and the construction of the pilot in particular is bomb.... this being said there does exist the original, pre-doctored pilot which was so bad they recast almost everyone and completely rewrote it. and I will say that is something I would like to see.  

how long have you watched 1 (succession)? I TRIED to watch it when it began and couldn’t stand it but once I was able to get into it I watched it all in like 2 weeks.... as you all witnessed 

how did you become interested in 3 (Rome hbo)? its the only tv show about the ancient world that isn’t Spartacus 

who is your favorite actor in 4 (nbc kings)? motherrfuckin Ian mcshane babey

which do you prefer, 1 (succession), 2 (g*t), or 5 (outlander)? this is literally a joke question obviously succession 

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 (succession) or 3 (Rome hbo )? they both have I think 20-23 episodes but I've rewatched Rome at LEAST four times and succession only once 

if you could be anyone from 4 (nbc kings), who would you be? OBVIOUSLY farm boy David coming to the big city and being drawn into a sexy evil family 

would a crossover between 3 (Rome hbo) and 4 (nbc kings) work? actually almost yes bc nbc kings is in a speculative biblical future and Rome hbo is in a speculative, narrowly pre-biblical past..... I Would Like To See It gif 

pair two characters in 1 (succession) who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? LMAO ROMULUS/GERRI ALREADY EXISTS..... 

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 (Rome hbo) or 5 (outlander)? I can’t believe I'm about to say this either but s2 of Rome was such a shitshow pacing wise and outlander is much more consistently written...............like they know their demographic and take their time and I can’t fault them that........

which has the better theme music, 2 (g*t) or 4 (nbc kings)? KING ramin vs Chopin? fuck off I can’t make that choice...... actually I can. king ramin

[gayinacan]

So I designed my own sides( like my own sander sides) like a year ago and kept working on them for fun and I just wanted to show them to the world

The three main sides

Represents - Anxiety, depression, Dysphoria, considered half of intrusive thoughts

Name - Cecil (technically nick name he can’t choose a name)

- Most sides call him the ultimate dad ( Dysphoria Anxiety Depression )

- He’s named after the main character of wtnv

- Best friends with Michelangelo

- Awarded the most despised side

- Technically not a side because he represents an anxiety disorder

- This makes him the side with the most control

- Only side that can make discussion without another sides approval but only in incredibly specific situations

- Scared of literally everything

- Except heights the higher up he is the calmer he is

- Always wears the same red bomber jacket

- Won’t sleep at night often takes naps mid day

- Hardly ever eats

- Always cooks for everyone because he doesn’t trust other people cooking him food

- Besides Michelangelo

- No one is allowed in his room because it’s where he calms down

- It looks like a mini forest

- Cecil wears lavender gloves as a reference to Oscar Wilde he’s also terrified of germs

Represents - imagination, creativity, wonder, considered the other half of intrusive thoughts

Name - Michelangelo

- Goes by literally any nickname anyone gives him

- Wears a prince costume to combat Dysphoria

- Designed all the sides outfits

- Loves making costumes

- Voted most likely to adopt anyone and everyone

- Is constantly drawing and has a giant flip pad on a tripod he will use in conversation is constantly making references to pop culture

- For fun he memorizes songs, skits, movies word for word

- Including every John Mulaney set

- He was banned from wearing white by Cecil because he stains his clothes so much

- The only side that can multiply himself

- There can never be only two or seven of him because Anxiety is terrified of those numbers

- There are two reasons he can’t split into “good” and “bad” creativity

- One Sartre wrote that it is forbidden to control Michelangelo because of morals

- They joke Michelangelo has a morality pass

- Two When Alan was little one episode of his favorite show the main character was split into a good side and a bad side this scared Cecil so much he made the rule that no side could be split in two

Represents- analytics, logic, curiosity, introversion

Name - Romulus

- voted most popular side, liked side, best side, most valuable side, side most likely to get away with murder

- Everyone adores him especially Apollo

- Gives a lecture about a random topic every Saturday

- Has a policy that he will answer any question no matter how trivial or morbid

- Is annoyed with how Cecils fears follow no logic

- Tries to calm Cecil but it almost never works

- Is obsessed with history

- He is the only side to live on his own floor

- His room is a giant library

- Like GIANT

Other sides

Represents - pride, confidence

Name - Princeton

- Wears three pride flags at a time like a cape ( ace, trans, bi) swaps which ones on top

- Often wears heels so he can be the tallest side

- Is the only one to sometimes dress feminine

- Doesn’t think he or any of the other sides can make a mistake

- Loathes Cecil and Alex

- Is the most vulgar

- Is on the same floor as Romulus because it’s dangerous if him and Cecil are close

- His room is a perfect replica of the penthouse from Jessie

Represents - emotions

Name - Apollo

- the trade mark emo side

- Tries to be vicious

- Soft as hell

- Proud Slytherin

- Follows Romulus like a lost puppy

- Is best friends with pride

- Is the most childish

- loves My Chemical Romance

- drama level : draco from a very potter musical

Represents - the desire to fit in be normal, self manipulation, lying to others in efforts to help them, selflessness

Name - Alex

- constantly laments about how they’re all probably straight and cos just in denial

- Is the actual most despised side because of how rude he is to everyone

- Tries to shut up Romulus

- Makes fun of Michelangelo

- Constantly destroys Princeton’s things

- Tells Cecil he shouldn’t exist

- Just a general ass to all the sides

- Spends 98% of his time in his room

- In middle school he was a main side but he’s slowly losing power

- Loki’s twin brother

Represents- lying to help oneself, self preservation, self care

Name - Loki

- favorite activity is to shock people with random lies ( example: convincing everyone he didn’t believe in the Midwest)

- Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm

- Calls Cecil the best dad ever

- Is good friends with Sartre no one knows why

- In a joking rivalry with Michelangelo

- Apollo adores him, he tolerates Apollo

- Always making sure people are safe

- Banned from kitchen he says he can cook very well but every time he say it he smiles and winks

- No one is allowed in his room because they would definitely become lost and most likely never be found

- twin brother of Alex

- tells everyone he doesn’t have a brother

Represents - personal morals, philosophy, self care,

Name - Sartre

- just a bubble of sunshine

- Loves philosophy and discussing morality

- Carries around a book of moral rules so he doesn’t remember them incorrectly and misuse them

- Let’s anyone challenge any of his rules and write something different if the other sides agree

- Catch phrase “we must destroy the idea of morals and gender being binary!”

- See’s the good in everyone

- Except Nazis he hates Nazis

- Loves psychology

- Is terrible with emotions but tries his best

- Adores Loki because of their shared interest in psychology and self care

- Is adamant that you can’t help anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself properly

- Congratulates any side that does any kind of self care because it’s important

- Banned from the kitchen because he gets easily distracted and starts talking to someone for an hour

- No one knew he excited until they were 17 (they thought Romulus also represented morality)

- Never left Romulus and his room until he was 17

Represents - empathy

Name - Gorey

- Michelangelo named him after his favorite artist Edward Gorey

- Hates Princeton, Alex, and Loki because they were incredibly rude to him growing up

- Spends almost all his time in the imagination because of this

- Michelangelo and Sartre often visit him

- He refuses to see Cecil because he’s friends with Loki

- He copies the movements, emotions and sometimes even outfits of whoever he is talking to

- Is a successful comedian in the imagination

- Wears orange to make Michelangelo happy ( Loki was assigned orange but hates the color so he wears pink)

- Michelangelo calls him the Halloween king because he wears orange and black

Cecil and Michelangelo’s friendship

- When Michelangelo was little he thought Cecil was his twin and took him in this is why they are such close friends ( Cecil is not his twin there is only one creativity)

- Michelangelo Is the only one able to calm Cecil down from a panic attack

- Michelangelo is constantly designing new red bomber jackets for Cecil(new pockets, a hidden hood, heating function, built in fan, weighted like a weighted blanket, has multiple braces built on for protection)

- Michelangelo gave Cecil the first jacket when they were around eight

- It’s red because lightning mcquine was their hero

- Michelangelo picked red as cecils color because it’s his favorite color

- Also because it’s incredibly visible and Cecils terrified someone won’t see him and run him over

- Michelangelo has challenged anyone that can calm down Cecil from a panic attack will get one wish for anything they want

- No one has won

- Well technically Loki has won but he claims that Cecil has never had a panic attack while it’s just the two of them

- Michelangelo has seen Cecil have a panic attack because he stepped on an ant so he knows that’s bullshit

- But Loki refuses so no one has technically won

- Michelangelo is constantly trying to get Cecil to eat something

- Cecil tried to edit Michelangelo art but he’s not great at constructive criticism

- Cecil worries other people will judge Michelangelo for his weirder ideas

- They often discuss Ideas and intrusive thoughts back and forth

- Even when it’s not just them in the room

- Nobody knows what they are talking about because they have their own code language made of references and knock off ASL

[romeneverfell]

Can you say a little bit about the "Adopted Emperors" and why their reigns sometimes might have worked out better by the ones who had been emperors by legitimate birth? This is basically the Ancient Rome version of nature vs nurture question... :)

Firstly, hello! Sorry for the delayed response to this question. 

Now to the answer. I think that it’s interesting that the Nerva-Antonine dynasties got the title “Adopted Emperors” because even before the “Adopted Emperors”, and even after them, emperors were adopted. The first emperor, Augustus, was adopted - by Julius Caesar, of course; following Augustus came a few more adopted emperors. After the Nerva-Antonine dynasties, there were a few Roman emperors who came to the throne through adoption, like Severus Alexander and Gordian III. I bring this up because I think in order to properly answer the legitimate birth versus adoption question, we have to look at every emperor that fits the bill, and not just the so-called “Adopted Emperors”.

Just so we’re all on the same page as I’m talking, I went through how practically every emperor came to the throne and found out which ones came to the throne through adoption and which ones came to the throne because of descent (I tried to find such complete lists online and had no luck). This list may be incomplete just because there are a lot of emperors and I may have missed one!

Note: I broadened the “legitimate birth” category a little based off of certain circumstances. Rulers that came to power directly as a result of their lineage (in other words, they were appointed by their fathers expressly because they are their father’s son) have an asterix (*) in front of their name. Sometimes emperors were the son of a previous one but were not directly appointed by them.

1. Some people don’t consider usurpers emperors, although I personally don’t think the two need to be mutually-exclusive.2. Whether Heliogabalus was the actual son of Caracalla or not is contested. That being said, the fact that he and his mother used the claim of lineage as a reason for him to be on the throne is enough for him to be considered for the list. 3. Maximian, Severus II, and Galerius adopted Diocletian’s nomen Valerius; although they may not have been adopted by Diocletian as sons they were adopted into his house and thus assumed legitimacy to the throne through his family.4. There were quite a few emperors in between Constantine I Chlorus and Constantine the Great’s rules. Constantine the Great was declared Augustus by his late father’s army, very likely in part because he was the late Constantine’s son.5. Valentinian II was not declared emperor by his father, but by the German legions.6. Like Gordian I, Procopius is considered a usurper. Like Heliogabalus, Anthemius used his descent as a claim to legitimacy.

The first thing that one immediately notices when comparing the two sides is that adopted emperors tended to be adopted in clumps (the two major ones being the Julio-Claudian and the Nerva-Antonine emperors). One sees that on the other hand, the emperors who rose to power as a consequence of birthright did so in irregular intervals (with the exception of the last two families of Constantine the Great and Theodosius the Great, but more on them later). As far as the various factors which lead up to whether an emperorship is successful or not, I think this one is extremely important. But it’s even more important to the overall success of the state, beyond the throne of the emperor. The Roman empire was really at its peak in the first and second centuries, when the Julio-Claudian and Nerva-Antonine dynasties reigned. 

I think that this is a cyclical relationship: the emperorship is more successful when there is a fluid transition of power, and therefore the empire is more successful, and therefore the emperorship is more successful. 

Nero and Caligula, though they were adopted into their positions, are two of the most infamously terrible emperors Roman history had ever seen. Both Nero and Caligula, and actually quite a lot of emperors, received a fair amount of bad publicity from their rivals, but for the purposes of this argument their actual character is irrelevant. What matters most is that, despite the seeming chaos of their reigns, the ship of state continued to sail extremely smoothly. This is no doubt owed to the fact that the Roman Empire was already prospering thanks to Augustus and Tiberius (and to other external circumstances) and also owed to the fact that soon after the seat of emperor became troubled with succession issues, another extremely capable and extremely stable dynasty of emperors came to power. 

Adoption seemed to have a stabilizing effect on the transfer of power. It’s a reliable practice to ensure that there will always be a successor, because you can’t rely on mother nature to always produce results. There’s also the fact that inheritance through families seems to make interfamilial (and intrafamilial) competition inevitable. In the case of Constantine the Great’s sons, it led to civil war. It’s a much smoother, and less competitive, transition between emperors when one is appointed after the other without as much stress placed on bloodline or who is the eldest son. 

A lot of emperors who came to power by legitimate birth didn’t have a fair chance to start out, anyway. Emperors who were adopted into the throne typically had years (decades, really) of experience underneath their belts. Meanwhile when the throne was passed by descent, it was passed on to a boy who was just simply too inexperienced and too young to be an effective ruler. Elagabalus was proclaimed emperor when he was only 14. This problem became pronounced in the latter years of the empire. Arcadius became emperor when he was 18 (but was already given the title of Augustus by his father when he was younger than that) and his brother Honorius inherited the western throne when he was just 12. I didn’t include him on the list because his father wasn’t an emperor, but the last emperor (Romulus Augustulus) was also too young to be of any use. 

The fact that these (and a couple others) were too young to rule independently and with experience meant that their rules were often characterized by being controlled by a regent. In the case of Valentinian III, this was his mother Galla Placidia, while Honorius’ rule was run by the general Flavius Stilicho. If you’re too young to rule on your own, you’re going to pretty much always make for a bad emperor. And then when they did come of age, they hadn’t any personal experience to direct them. I think it’s also worth mentioning that inheritance by birth didn’t seem to become quite as popular until the latter years of the empire, so the emperors of this time would again be at a disadvantage with all of the turmoil. However, this isn’t so much a flaw endemic to the system of transfer through blood, though. 

So far I’ve avoided mention of any character qualities that may have made legitimate-birth emperors more ill-fit for the throne than adopted emperors, and I did so on purpose. Commodus, who inherited the throne from his father Marcus Aurelius, has become the poster boy of entitled heirs with a rule characterized by frivolousness and excess. He seems to be an outlier, when you consider the reigns of the rest of them, though. Sure, you could speculate that being entitled to the throne rather than having to earn it (through adoption) makes one tend towards arrogance, but I don’t see this as the biggest problem for the emperors who came to power through inheritance. My other stated reasons are more important, I think. To summarize them again:

Adoption is a smoother and more-reliable transition of power which leads to stability

Inheritance by birth has a greater chance of competition, thus destabilizing the throne

A great risk of transferring the throne by inheritance is the potential that the next heir may be too young and inexperienced to rule properly 

At the end of the day, though, I think that legitimate-birth inheritance still isn’t the worst way for the empire for power to change hands. A much-worse way is when competing military figures all jockey for the throne, or when someone takes it upon themselves to have the preceding emperor conveniently assassinated for them to take the throne. It’s more ideal for a meritocracy of the best of the best to decide who is most fit to rule, but at least inheritance through birth is a kind of succession that has the potential to go smoothly, if there are enough competent at-age heirs in a row to rule.There’s just a lot more that can go wrong with that kind of succession as opposed to appointment by qualification. Thanks for the ask!

[instituteofgeorgianhistory]

Rome, Byzantium and NATO. Grand Strategy of the West and Georgia (Colchis/Lazica and Iberia)

Tedo Dundua, Emil Avdaliani

  Introduction

 There are two ways to prove Georgia’s place within the NATO Alliance. First is the current argument urging for total Euro-Atlantic unity, next – historical one. Previous pan-European (Roman and Early Byzantine) military presence in Georgia can be applied to the present discussion. The article covers this issue.

 Roman Period. Frankish Limitanei in Lazica

 Before being totally destroyed, Roman Imperial security system actually had shown three gradual phases of development.

Large number of the Italian colonists with the best technologies, swift and comfortable communications, the most prominent industrial output, Roman citizenship, municipal freedom – that was the Roman gift for the Western provinces in the 1st-2nd cc. A.D. Sincere intimacy with the metropolis had been founded as a direct result of complete satisfaction. It paved the way to the Romanization. As for the Greeks, the Romans reserved a quiet life and economic stability. Still beyond the Roman Rhine, Danube and Pontus there were others favouring this concept of pan-European integration. The happy client kings used to be awarded with the Roman citizenship. And for the Julio-Claudians these client kingdoms formed the first defense-line of the Imperial territories. A little behind, the whole perimeter was dotted by solid legionary concentrations, proving the system to be impregnable. No cardinal changes took place in the era of the Antonines, except for annexation of the client kingdoms and breaking the big army concentrations in favour of scattering the legions along the whole frontier. In both cases, after defeating comparatively weak enemy at the border, the Romans usually attacked their territory. This system of security is called forward defense.

Greeks and the Romans were sending more and more working hands towards industry, but not to manufacture the means of production. As a result, population was growing, but not amount of industrial goods per capita. Prices rushed high for the Italian produce, demanding damping for provincial food and raw materials, thus weakening the sympathies between the European subjects of the Roman Empire. Some even started to search for a relief beyond the Rhine and Danube rivers. Many things happened that completely changed the defensive strategy, namely: 1. economic crisis; 2. weakening of the integratory links; 3. socio-economic animation of “Barbaricum”; 4. financial chaos and some professional regiments converted into limitanei. From now on they are to stand the first strike and evacuate the whole frontier folk into citadels, thus wearing down the enemy. And there were large and mobile field armies deployed far behind those self-contained strongholds to cut down any invasion into the depth. This system shaped in the times of Diocletian is called defense-in-depth.

But before this new system was finally established, the Romans had been fighting those already easily passing the border wherever they could manage to concentrate large army-units. In the early days of the Empire praetorians formed the only Imperial reserve. And now Gallienus recruited special mobile reserve-regiments. Name for this defensive system is elastic defense.

Security system had to be changed at least because of emergence of the Germanic seaborne attacks from the 3rd c. everywhere at the seas that prolonged the line of the frontier (Ed. N. Luttwak. The Grand Strategy of the Roman Empire. From the First Century A.D. to the Third. Baltimore. 1981, pp. 192-193; T. Dundua, N. Silagadze. European Industrial Complexes of I Cycle of Capitalism and the Georgian Western Affiliations. Historical and Numismatic Tale. Tbilisi. 2005, pp. 5-7; T. Dundua. North and South. Tbilisi. 2001, pp. 8-15).

Full-time units, legions, alae of cavalry, cohortes of infantry and mixed cohortes equitatae served the forward defense-system. Part-time border force of limitanei had appeared and auxiliary alae and cohorts had disappeared; and regular mobile reserve – comitatenses – substituted legions, fixed at the border. All they served new security system – defense-in-depth. The whole 3rd c. saw these changes, finally shaped in the times of Constantine I. Septimius Severus was the first to form a certain kind of reserve. He stationed II Parthica in Albanum, increased praetorian and urban cohorts in number. And Gallienus created special cavalry units to serve as a reserve (Ed. N. Luttwak. The Grand Strategy, pp. 173, 184).

In the 3rd c. large federations of Franki and Alemanni began to threaten the Rhine-frontier. And the Goths had already reached Dniester by 238 (Ed. N. Luttwak. The Grand Strategy, pp. 128, 146). Franks attacked Gaul, Alemanns – Italy. From the great deeds of Emperor M. Aurelius Probus (276-282) the most important is the deliverance of seventy Gaulic cities. He drove back Franks and Alemanns, four hundred thousand of them being killed. Probus passed the Rhine, and returned back with considerable tribute of corn, cattle, and horses. Sixteen thousand Germanic recruits were dispersed among the Roman units. Other captive or fugitive barbarians gained a new status, that of part-time peasant-soldiers (limitanei). Emperor transported a considerable body of Vandals into Cambridgeshire, great number of Franks and Gepidae were settled on the banks of the Danube and the Rhine, Bastarnae – in Thrace. Pontic (The Black Sea) coast was reserved for some more Franks (Ed. Gibbon. The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Vol. 1. London. 1993 (first published in 1776), pp. 362-368). But which one exactly? This is to be discussed.

According to Ed. Gibbon, Franks settled at the sea-coast of Pontus had to check the Alani inroads. A fleet stationed in one of the harbors of the Euxine fell into their hands, and they resolved, through unknown seas, to explore their way from the mouth of Phasis (river Rioni in West Georgia) to that of the Rhine. They easily escaped through the Bosphorus and the Hellespont, and cruising along the Mediterranean, indulged their appetite for revenge and plunder by frequent descents on the shores of Asia, Greece and Africa. City of Syracuse was sacked by the barbarians. Franks proceeded to the columns of Hercules, coasted round Spain and Gaul, and steering their course through the British channel, at length finished their voyage by landing in safety on the Batavian or Frisian shores (Ed. Gibbon. The Decline and Fall . . ., pp. 367-368).        

What is this whole story based on? Zosimus and one panegyric to Constantius Chlorus contributed to it.

Narrating about the events in the past, in the times of divine Probus, author of this panegyric mentions undeserved success of the small Frankish band, who, sailing from Pontus on the captured fleet, ravished Greece and Asia, damaged Africa, stormed Syracuse, and passing through the columns of the Hercules, reached the ocean (Recursabat quippe in animos illa sub diuo Probo paucorum ex Francis captiuorum incredibilis audacia et indigna felicitas, qui a Ponto usque correptis nauibus Graeciam Asiamque populati nec impune plerisque Libyae litoribus appulsi ipsas postremo naualibus quondam uictoriis nobiles ceperant Syracusas et immenso itinere peruecti oceanum, qua terras irrumpit, intrauerant atque ita euentu temeritatis ostenderant nihil esse clausum piraticae desperationi, quo nauigiis pateret accessus.) (Panegyricus Constantio Dictus, IV, XVIII. Panégyriques Latins. T. I (I-V). Texte Établi et Traduit par Édourd Galletier. Paris. 1949, pp. 96-97).

Zosimus tells us about the Franks having appealed to the Emperor, and having a country given to them. A part of them afterwards revolted, and having collected a great number of ships, disturbed all Greece; from whence they proceeded into Sicily, to Syracuse, which they attacked, and killed many people there. At length they arrived in Africa, whence though they were repulsed by a body of men from Carthage, yet they returned home without any great loss (Zosimus. New History. Book 1. London. 1814).

There is no mention of mouth of the river of Phasis as a spring-board for the expedition in the sources. Then, what was in Gibbon’s mind? Perhaps, logic, excluding the possibilities.

Indeed, the Northern Black Sea coast is beyond the Roman rule. The Western shores, and the Balkans are already packed with the barbarians. Southern littoral was less used for receptio, while Lazica (West Georgia) and Pontic Limes cannot be argued. And something strange had happened to this limes in the 3rd c.  Now threat comes not from the front, the Romans have Lazi client king dwelling there, but – from behind, because of the Goths living at the Northern shores.

We can only guess that the Franks were in Lazica as limitanei. But we really know nothing about how they were coordinating with the full-time units, their number before and after the revolt, what was the life like for those who stayed loyal.

Still, it seems quite reasonable that the bargain of receptio-system should have been distributed among all Roman provinces to keep the centre undisturbed from the barbaric influx. In the 3rd c. the Empire is able to do this, not after.

 Byzantines in Georgia

 With the death of Theodosius, last Emperor of the united Roman world, in 395 A.D. the Empire was divided into two almost same-sized halves. The Western part, while defending itself throughout the 5th c. from various barbarian hordes (at the time, the Western part was defended by regiments consisting mainly of barbarians) coming from beyond the Rhine river, had an almost destroyed tax-paying system. This very factor did not allow the Imperial administration based in Ravenna to muster enough economic and military resources for effective defense of the Northern borders. Last Western Roman Emperors were mere puppets in the hands of barbarian warlords – the process which culminated in deposing the last Emperor Romulus Augustulus in 476.

The Eastern part (Byzantium) with the capital in Constantinople, on the other hand, showed greater resilience in managing internal problems and external threats. Byzantium managed simultaneously to hold off the barbarians coming from the North and the Sassanians from the East. This was made possible by an efficient tax-paying system the Byzantines inherited from the Romans, which, in turn, made it possible to field large armies to defend the Imperial borders on several fronts and at the same time wage offensive wars (Ed. N. Luttwak. The Grand Strategy of the Byzantine Empire. Harvard. 2009, pp. 1-16. The most apparent case is the reign of Justinian when, while waging war on Vandals in North Africa and the Ostrogoths in Italy, Constantinople still had to defend its Eastern border from the Sassanians and the Danube river from the Slavs).

The Byzantines did not have such abundant resources as the Romans had during the first three centuries A.D. Moreover, the Eastern half was spread on three continents – Europe, Asia and Africa – making the Imperial borders highly vulnerable to foreign powers. In other words, the geography put the Byzantine Empire at a huge disadvantage as the Danube river was a barrier easy to cross for the Goths, or in later centuries Huns, Slavs and Avars. In Africa, the desert frontier stretching for more than a thousand kilometers had no geographic barrier to rely on making rich Tripolitania and Byzacena and the South of Egypt exposed to attacks from the Berbers and other nomadic groups. The Eastern frontier too was highly vulnerable as the Arab groupings could easily reach Palestine and Syrian cities from the Syro-Mesopotamian desert. In the North Mesopotamia Byzantium faced its greatest rival, Sassanian Iran, and this portion too needed to be defended with the assemblage of large military power, whether through the field armies or military fortifications. Moreover, the Byzantines had little geographic depth along its entire Eastern frontier to fully employ the defense-in-depth strategy (e.g., in the Balkans Constantinople did enjoy large geographic depth necessary for the defense. This was apparent when the Huns under Attila and then the Avars in early 7th c. broke through the Danubian defenses and reached Constantinople. However, military regiments placed in various fortresses and the distance of several hundreds of kilometers (from the Danube to the capital) enabled the Emperor, whether it was Theodosius II or Heraclius, to thwart the barbarian onslaughts). The similar situation was in Africa. Since Asia Minor, Balkans, Egypt and Syria were the most prosperous lands in terms of population number and the level of urbanization, the functioning of the Empire was contingent upon the defense of these provinces. Overall, the Byzantines were at much worse geographic situation than their Western counterparts.

Thus, in order to survive in this difficult geopolitical situation and preserve the Empire from early 5th c. to the 7th c., the Byzantines had to develop a whole set of military strategies. In other words, the Byzantines were no less successful than the Flavians, Antonines and late 3rd c. Emperors. However, the Byzantines made numerous changes by adapting to new circumstances. Since Constantinople had less economic and human resources than the united Roman Empire, the Byzantines always tried to use less military power and employ more diplomacy and the propagation of the Christian religion (G. Fowden. Consequences of the Monotheism in Late Antiquity. Princeton. 1993, pp. 80-100) to safeguard Imperial borders.

The Byzantines inherited from the Romans military presence in Lazica and alliance with Kartli/Iberia (East and South Georgia). This military tradition goes back to the first two centuries A.D. and represents a forward-defense strategy. Byzantine garrisons, which existed in Lazica from the 5th c. till the Arab invasion of the Middle East in the 30s of the 7th c. (T. Dundua. Influx of Roman Coins in Georgia. Roman Coins Outside the Empire. Ways and Phases, Contexts and Functions. Proceedings of ESF/SCH Exploratory Workshop. Nieborow (Poland). 2005. Moneta. Wetteren. 2008, p. 313), did not change their location. However, the role of Lazica considerably increased as in late 4th c. the so-called  “Völkerwanderung” or Migration period began. Since the new peoples such as Huns, Avars etc. lived in the Eurasian steppes, which bordered the Caucasian range and the Danube river, Constantinople had to face a two-front war from the North (from the Eastern and Western parts of the Black Sea). Therefore, the Byzantine garrisons in Lazica were transformed into forward posts for collecting information about new peoples coming from the steppes and, in case of need, establishing first diplomatic contacts too.

For example, when approximately in 557 the Avars reached the Volga river, in modern-day Southern Russia, in a year or two through the Alans they sent an embassy to Constantinople. But, before the letter was received in the capital, first it had been passed through the hands of Byzantine generals stationed in Lazica (Ed. N. Luttwak. The Grand Strategy of the Byzantine Empire, p. 59). The role of Lazica increased also because of the mountain passes through which the newly-coming nomads from the North could potentially penetrate into the South and cause havoc even in the Eastern provinces of the Byzantine Empire as it happened in 395 when the Huns reached as far as Antioch (P. Heather. The Fall of the Roman Empire. A New History of Rome and the Barbarians. Oxford. 2007, pp. 145-154). The Byzantine officials also used the passes to distract nomad leaders by making them to take much longer roads to reach the Imperial capital. Menander Protector preserves the bitter complaint of a Turkic chief from the steppes, North to the Caucasian range, dated by 577: “As for you Romans, why do you take my envoys through the Caucasus to Byzantium, alleging that there is no other route for them to travel? You do this so that I might be deterred from attacking the Roman Empire by the difficult terrain (i.e. high mountains which for horses are very hard to cross). But I know very well where the river Danapris (Dniepr) flows, and the Istros (Danube) and the Hebrus (Maritsa, Meric)” (Excerpta de Legationibus Romanorum ad Gentes, 14, in The History of Menander the Guardsman. Translated by R. C. Blockley. London. 1985, p. 175).

Lazica’s military importance increased even more following the stand-off between Justinian and the Sassanian Shahanshah Khusro I Anushirvan in mid-6th c. By the time Iran had already been increasing its political and military pressure towards North and West, which culminated in the abolition of the Albanian and Armenian kingdoms during the 5th-early-6th cc. As was said, mid-6th c. saw renewed warfare between the empires and the focus of the conflict, traditionally along with the North Mesopotamia, also fell on Lazica. Iran was interested in occupying the Eastern Black Sea coast to pressure Constantinople (which by the time was already embroiled in a war with the Ostrogoths in Italy) into signing a more winning peace treaty for Ctesiphon. The Byzantines knew well that if the Sassanians managed to occupy the Lazica shore, Iranian military vessels in the near future would make their way through the Bosphorus directly to Constantinople. This is well reflected in one of the passages from Procopius – Lazi sent an embassy to Khusro to explain the geopolitical advantages which the Iranians would gain through controlling Lazica and the Byzantine fortresses there: “To the realm of Persia you will add a most ancient kingdom, and as a result of this you will have the power of your sway extended, and it will come about that you will have a part in the sea of the Romans through our land, and after thou hast built ships in this sea (i.e. Black Sea), O King, it be possible for thee with no trouble to set foot in the palace in Byzantium. For there is no obstacle between. And one might add that the plundering of the land of the Romans every year by the barbarians along the boundary will be under your control. For surely you also are acquainted with the fact that up till now the land of the Lazi has been a bulwark against the Caucasus Mountains” (De Bello Persico. II. 15; Procopius of Caesarea. History of the Wars. Translated by H. B. Dewing. Cambridge. Massachusetts. 1914, pp. 225-226).

The above analysis of the Roman and Early Byzantine military strategies towards their neighbors quite clearly shows that Georgia always had its own place within the pan-European military alliances. Why not bring it back?

 NATO and Georgia

 NATO alliance’s strategy could be likened to the best military traditions of Rome and Byzantium discussed above. As was the case with these two Empires, NATO too regards the Black Sea and its Eastern shore – Georgia – as fundamental for the alliance’s strategy in the Eastern Europe and the Black Sea region overall.

As for the Romans and Byzantines before, for NATO too Georgia’s Black Sea shore would allow the alliance to expand militarily in the region and control crucial land and maritime military routes from the North to the Black Sea basin. There is also an economic dimension since Georgia serves as a vital transit route for oil/gas pipelines, important railroads connecting the Caspian and Black Seas. Indeed, as Roman and Byzantine army units before, NATO’s presence in Georgia would serve as a defensive shield for trade in the region which in Antiquity was often referred to as a part of the famous Silk Road and nowadays is called as the South Caucasus energy and transport corridor because of oil/gas transport infrastructure.

This strategic vision is well reflected in one of the recent NATO-Georgia Commission statement: “Georgia is one of the Alliance’s closest operational partners, and an Enhanced Opportunities Partner. Allies highly appreciate Georgia’s steadfast support for NATO’s operations and missions…” (NATO-Georgia Commission Statement. Oct. 2019.

https://www.nato.int/cps/en/natohq/official_texts_169323.htm?selectedLocale=en).

Direct allusion to the alliance’s Black Sea strategy is also seen in another passage from the same Commission statement: “NATO values Georgia’s engagement in, and contributions to, strategic discussion and mutual awareness, on security in the Black Sea region” (NATO-Georgia Commission Statement. Oct. 2019. https://www.nato.int/cps/en/natohq/official_texts_169323.htm?selectedLocale=en).

Thus NATO alliance’s strategic vision for Georgia and the wider Black Sea region is similar to how the Romans and Byzantines saw this part of the world.

[hpgal-with-httydpals-blog]

Imperatore et Lupum (pt. 1)

aka @asktheboywholived‘s The Empire AU, with a few minor tweaks to make it more of my style. I really hope google translate didn’t fail me on the Latin.

In the age of Ancient Rome, there was a royal family, who’s records were lost to historians, and who’s story was never told. Even if it were to be found, the modern day person might have assumed it to be myth, or folk lore, as the family had ruled over the age of Rome that held the most magic of all. It was also the darkest.

They were known as the Black’s, a family so powerful, they were deemed as Gods to the common people, and were considered untouchable.

All, except the young heir, Sirius Orion Black. 

He would be of age in a year, and would soon take the throne. All of this would be fine and dandy, if the boy had already found a wife.

As the family walked in parade with the elite’s on their way to the grand Colosseum for a gruesome show, he and his passionate mother had a whispered, though aggressive conversation on his bachelorhood.

“You’ve met every girl who’s worthy of the throne, not only in the city, but in the whole region!”

“Perhaps the woman I seek is not apart of the elites.” Sirius responded smugly to his mother’s bereavement.

“I would rather die than see you married to an unworthy, commoner.” The Empress hissed.

Sirius chuckled humorlessly, and thankfully the rest of their walk was held in silence. 

The show they were on their way to see, was mostly a show for those participating in it. In the last week their had been an uprising in a community of creatures known as Beasts. The Beasts look identical to other townsfolk during the daytime, but once a month on the full moon, their true nature was shown in full. They were also known to be particularly aggressive during other time of the month as well, in fact, it took most of the standing Roman army to combat them.

Typically, Beasts were used as slaves, or weapons. In fact, Sirius knew of many Beasts who worked both in the palace, and in the fields that grew the families own personal food - untouchable to the public.

The pack of Beasts had been thriving just under the noses of the the Emperor, and had managed to start a full scale takeover of the city. However it seemed insignificant, as the army had massacred over half of their already small population. The survivors were meant to battle to the death in the arena, overlooked by the elites and the royal family, so that they knew their place even as they were slaughtered.

Sirius had found this a rather cruel fate, as he had been silently cheering the Beasts on. The Gods only knew had badly he wanted to see the end of his parents reign. Sirius saw how cruelly they treated their own people, and while he wanted to help them, he had no interest in becoming Emperor.

He had no interest in watching the bloodshed either. Sirius had spent his entire life in the palace, where on more than one occasion he saw slave being whipped, or simply saw them being dragged away, kicking and screaming, towards the Colosseum, or to some other cruel form of death.

Not to mention, what his own family did to one another when no one was looking.

They entered the grand arena, and were immediately greeted by a man Sirius knew to be Fenrir Greyback. He was a Beast as well, but he had long ago made an alliance with the royal family, and had lead the army against his own kind himself.

“Good morrow, Your Majesties.” He said with a toothy grin that made Sirius shudder in both horror and disgust.  “I’m sure this will be a fine show.”

“How many are there?” His deranged cousin Bellatrix asked with an obvious tone of joy.

“Twelve. All had been close in the pack. Now we watch them fight to the death.” Fenrir said, a taunting laughter was evident in his voice. Bellatrix let out her own bark of twisted laughter, and that was all Sirius really processed before he started zoning out the world around him.

The royal family took their seats in their box, waiting for the show to begin. Sirius wanted to be anywhere but where he was. He hated these public displays of murder a backstabbing. The thought that some of the elite brought their young children to these events made him sick. He knew that for the next few weeks, he would have nightmares of the arena, the tigers and lions that came from who-knows-where, the gladiators and the beasts who mercilessly beat already dead bodies just to make sure they would still get out of there alive. The blood that splattered the floor, the walls, and the warriors themselves.

Before long, Sirius noticed the tall, almost regal looking man who was being lead to the center of the arena, hands tied behind his back, by a guard who wore a uniform that covered their whole body, so that no one would notice their true identity.The heir of Rome knew who this was. The leader of the group, who was going to be made a public example of. Sirius hoped that since the man had some rank, the execution would not be so brutal.

He was sorely mistaken.It was the longest, bloodiest, most painful looking execution Sirius had ever seen in the arena, and that’s saying something. The man was repeatedly stabbed until no inch of his body was left unbloodied except his head, before that too was walloped off with one stroke of the guards sword.

Sirius grimaced, he closed his eyes but that did not block out the sounds, and if he covered his ears it would be too noticeable, and his family would ridicule him for months, and inevitably force him to go watch more of these events.Instead, Sirius thought it best to try and concentrate on other matters.

He turned to look at his mother, who had her eyes locked on the arena, he expression calm as she slowly fanned herself with the ornate, lacy hand fan his cousin Narcissa had gifted her with just hours before.

“Mother,” he started softly so that no one else heard. “I’d like to make a deal with you.”

The Empress turned to face him. “Oh? And what might that be?”

“I’ll let you pick who I marry, so long as I am allowed to have affairs of my own.”

His mother narrowed his eyes. “You want me to turn a blind eye on your disloyalty?

“It wouldn’t be disloyalty if she knows I’m doing it,” Sirius insisted casually. “Besides, I wouldn’t mind if my future wife had her own affairs.”

She seemed to ponder this. “If I let you do this, you must produce an heir and carry on the reign of Black.”

“Of course.”

“Then it’s a deal.”

Just then, gongs rang throughout the stadium, and the gates that lined the arena slowly raised open to reveal the chained Beasts.

 The fight to the death had begun.

Remus was in chains. As one of the few Beasts who survived their failed revolution, he found himself prepared to face his death at the hands of his allies.

The chamber was dark. The only light came from a tiny eye flap, which had been opened so that he could see his leader, the only father he ever remembered, one of the few people he still respected, brutally executed.

Remus had never felt so scared before. He prided himself in being extremely brave, but the prospect of having to fight the vary people who had practically raised him, until they were all but one dead? That terrified him. After Romulus’s death, Remus found himself freed from the chains, but not the chamber. He didn’t remember anyone coming into unfasten the shackles, nor did he remember them even simply falling away. But then, he heard the mighty ring of gongs echo loudly through his small, temporary room, and the gate in front of him began to open. He was pushed by an unseen force into the arena, and the gates slammed shut again. He looked around. He recognized all the remaining survivors. The woman who watched over the little one’s while their parents trained, the man who had taught him how to fight, the man who did the night watch, the woman who had beat him once during training. Out of all of them, he was at the most disadvantage. He was the youngest. but Remus doomed himself to his fate already. One of these people whom he had once loved, would become his murderer. He told himself that he would only fight in defense. He thought all of this in the span of two seconds, because before he knew it, they were charging at each other, and the killing had begun. The rest of his time in the arena was a blur. He defended himself when he needed to, at one point killing one of the men. He vaguely recognized a feeling of disgust welling up in his chest. Remus had hoped that they had all thought like him, that they all were wary of killing each other just for the entertainment of the Roman public. But instead they had fallen for the bait, they were killing each other, scratching each other, ripping each other apart with their own hands. They kicked up so much dirt and dust that he couldn’t see two feet in front of him. They were becoming the animals they had fought to show the world they weren’t all of their time together had fallen to pieces right before Remus’s eyes. Then, when the dirt and haze cleared, he realized that nine out of the twelve were dead. How long did it take? Only thirty minutes? An hour? Two at most, though Remus knew in his heart it didn’t even take that long. He watched the other two fight, tired out, weakly wrestling each other. One of their hands tightly around the other’s throat and then - Blood splattered the arena floor, and Remus’s face. He blinked, wiping away the blood to see that the other two were skewered together with a spear. They fell to the ground dead. Remus turned to see who had thrown the spear. His face hardened. Fenrir Greyback.

Remus felt hot anger well up in his chest. This man was just like the rest of them. He had come into their pack saying he wanted to join their cause, but really only wanted to destroy them all for the Royal family of Rome. Remus had suspected him from the beginning, and yet he had been too late to act -

Greyback turned to face the royal box, bowing before he spoke loudly so the entire Colosseum could hear.

“I’m sparing this one.”

Sirius admired the Beast who did not engage of any of the fighting. He kept his eyes on him, hoping that his inevitable death would be less painless than the ones happening all around him. Sirius liked that the boy still had his dignity.

Although Sirius was hoping he would come out on top, he doubted the young man would make it to the end of the fight. His defensive skills were a sight to be seen, but if he attacked no one, he would never win.

When there were only three Beasts remaining, they sent Fenrir to finish them off. Sirius felt a pang of pity and the boy he’d been watching watched the other two battle it out, his face an expression of shock and horror, which doubled when they were both speared through the middle.

When Fenrir turned to kill the last of the Beasts, he did something that surprised them all thoroughly.

“I’m sparing this one.”

It wasn’t like Fenrir to give up the chance to kill anyone. Though some part of Sirius was happy the boy would live, there was a spark of fear that flared up in him when he caught a glimpse of his mother’s face. She was livid.

She stood, and looked as though she was going to shout back at Fenrir to finish the boy off, but Sirius stopped her.

He didn’t know what compelled him to do it, but he grabbed her by the skirt of her dress and whispered privately to her.

“I choose him.”

She stared at him for a moment, then turned back to Fenrir in the arena.

“Take the survivor to the palace. He’s to become a slave for my son.”

[pixiedane]

Jean-Luc Fashion Project

Romulan (Unification)

Once, maybe ten years ago, I was on a podcast talking about being a geek and a girl at the same time and toward the end I was asked if I spoke Klingon. I answered “No, I speak Romulan.” I was referring to the Rihannsu language made up for Diane Duane’s series of books about Rihannsu/Romulan culture. I read the first two in the series, My Enemy, My Ally and The Romulan Way, in high school, along with this book about Saavik, and decided I was meant to be a Romulan (they’re kinda the Slytherin side of Vulcans). 

Being a Romulan sympathizer can be a bit of a roller coaster in canon. The two Romulan Commanders who appear in TOS are A+++ but Saavik’s Romulan ancestry is not even a footnote on screen. There are some fun moments in TNG and even Voyager but Sela never quite landed (I still love her though) and Nemesis is a disaster on nearly every level. And then there’s Unification and the Kelvin verse’s Nero, who clearly grew out of the episode, but I consider him Star Trek (2009)’s weakest point despite (or perhaps because of) his striking similarities to the antagonist in “Year of Hell”, my most favourite episode of Voyager. 

But Romulan fashion is far more consistent, if sadly consistently TERRIBLE. There are two exceptions to my sweeping judgement: 

The Queen! But as you see, even here she is exception. Her guards’ outfits are So Ugly. Is it cold on Romulus? Is that why they insist on wool and wool-esque fabrics and mock-turtlenecks?? Even my queen’s outfit is only really saved by virtue of it’s absurdly impractical micromini and thigh high boots. I love that their hands are hooked into their sleeves though!!!

And like her predecessor in “The Enterprise Incident” Donatra is proof the Romulan aesthetic doesn’t have to be horrible! This is kick-ass while still clearly Romulan. Romulan fashion is actually at its very best in Nemesis which is why I said ‘nearly’ every level above. I mean Shinzon alone:

Iridescent pleather definitely says “I want to rule the galaxy” (just ask Vader). 

But the great majority of Romulan fashion is, imo, awful:

These oversized boxy shoulders, three-quarter pants, and severe haircuts flatter no one. NO. ONE. It’s an outfit made up entirely of Fashion Don’ts. I appreciate that (excepting in the case of my queen above) the uniform is gender neutral. But they even got rid of color after TOS. I mean look at this:

It’s the saddest costume I remember seeing on Star Trek. And weirdly reminds me of Anne of Green Gables. 

Which is all a long intro to say Picard makes a fine Romulan. I like that they are all wearing layers and robes (Romulus is a cold, cold place confirmed) that make them look pseudo-Vulcan (cuz they are). I wish ANYONE was wearing a color besides grey, brown, and drab, or sporting a different hairstyle. I sort of get it if the entire military has to have that haircut but the entire PLANET?! Even Senators and underground anarchists and refugees? I might not be cut out to be a Romulan after all. Unless I can be a radical. 

[ecotone99]

[RF] The Mask We Wear. (Please give feedback)

Growing up, I was always appreciated. Never once was I told I wasn't good enough, or that I wouldn't amount to anything. My parents weren't like that, my father was a pastor and my mother stayed at home raising us kids. They always looked after us, did what was best for us. And back when we didn't have much family was all we had, sounds a little cliche but it's true. And you would do anything for your family.

August 2013

"Antony, come hear," those few words changed my life forever. My father was the type of man who liked to keep his cards close to his chest, never telling anyone anything if he didn't have to. My mother was the only exception to that rule, but the rest of us knew what was really going on. Me and my brother pretended like we didn't, but we did. When he called me over I didn't know if I was getting disowned or rewarded, and that was how he liked to have it. "Antony, me and your mother have been talking and..." the way my father spoke is how I always imagined someone like Caesar talking, a voice of confidence and control that just made you not just want to listen to him, but like you had no choice but to listen to him. "We both think it's time you start helping me down at the church." Now to a normal sixteen-year-old boy, spending their after school time in an old church may not sound like all that much fun. But to me, it was a dream come true, I would get paid to hang out with my dad and I would finally be let into the family business. Little did I know what a rude awakening I was in for down the line. After all, not everyone's father was the head of a major New York crime family.

February 2014

By this time the screams and muffled gunshots coming from the back of the church had become less than a mild bother, most of the time I didn't even realize they were there. In a world like this one with violence and death on a daily basis, you had to grow a spine real quick. My father had me keeping the books, making sure that the real one and the one the cops would get if they ever ask were consistent enough to not seem suspicious. I was always good at math, a skill that the rest of my family didn't share. So while my brother Romulus was being groomed to take over the business someday; all intimidation and muscle, I was becoming a cheap teenaged accountant. And as hard as it may be to believe I was actually fine with where I was, unlike most people in the crime family, I didn't have ambitions. I didn't want to be in charge, I didn't need to be. I got to stay in my small room in the back of the church with a desk and a lamp, all that I needed.

March 2019

Flash forward five years. Five years of me doing the exact same thing, crunching numbers and putting them in the books. The family was stable, it wasn't what it was but we were doing alright. But that all changed when it came time for my father to name his successor, he didn't give the seat to my brother, who he had been raising into the kind of leader he was… no, he said my name. All and all I was surprised, honoured, but surprised. And when I asked him why he chose me over my brother, he told me, "I don't want another tough brute running this family Antony, we've had enough of that and now they way we make our living is going extinct." He wanted someone smart to help run the family back into its prime, and he chose me to do it. I couldn't just say no, I wanted to but men like my father didn't accept no. So if I couldn't get out of it I would just have to do what he wanted, and I would have to do it the best I possibly could. I respected my father too much to half-ass a job he entrusted me with, even if it was one I didn't want.

My brother wasn't too pleased with my father's choice. And I couldn't really blame him, imagine that your entire life, you believed that you had something as a sure thing and then when the moment finally comes it's given to someone else. He felt betrayed, and when our father wasn't around he made sure I knew it, "you scrawny mother fucker, I don't know how you did this but I'm going-." But as soon as dad was back in the room, he went back to being the voiceless thug he actually was, "You're doing the family proud, Antony." He didn't have to like Dads decision, but there was absolutely no way he could question it, not if he wanted to stay in the family. And once he was out of the family he lost all protections, and you don't do the kind of business he's done without making a few enemies. It sounds cliche but it's true.

It only took a few months after the announcement that I would be the new Boss for my father to decide that it was time for him to retire. One hand I agreed with him, he was getting older and he didn't need the kind of stress that came with the job. On the other hand, him retiring meant I would have to take over sooner than I was expecting. I thought I would have enough time to prepare myself, I wasn't ready to run the family yet. I always thought my dad would die before giving up his seat, that's just the kind of man he was, he would give everything he had. But he decided to give it up while he was still breathing, and I wasn't quite sure what to do with that, but I didn't have to think about it long.

They got me when I was walking home from the church. I should have been safe. But no, one minute you're walking down the street, the next you're chloroformed and thrown in the back of a van. The next thing I remember is waking up in the cliche mob torture warehouse tied to a chair. I mean this place had it all, broken windows, in the middle of nowhere, lots of floor space, the works. At first, I was alone, it's a technique that lets the victim realize the gravity of the situation, let their fear build up. But it didn't really bother me, when my kidnappers finally decided to show themselves, I was entirely disappointed. The pair, a man and a woman, were wearing these weird anime masks with blank smiling expressions. If they were wearing masks that meant I was going home alive and that they would be hunted down like dogs. "Hello, Mr Blackwell," the woman, talked first, calm, clearly a professional. Fortunately for myself, being the son of a crime boss made being kidnapped a real possibility growing up, and learning not to be afraid of stuff like this was just a part of it. My father would have me kidnapped a couple of times a year, just for a situation like this one. "You are going to give up your seat as the head of the Blackwell family and pass it down to your brother." You have no idea how much I wanted to give it up, just to get out of this damp warehouse if nothing else. But my father was the God of his own little world, and if you disappointed him it didn't matter how much he loved you, he would smite you.

"And why would I do that."

"Because if you don't, we'll carve your face up so good your own mother won't be able to recognise you," I had heard of this lady before, The Plastic Surgeon. She could make anyone's reflection a grotesque stranger if they didn't do what her client wanted, only ever touching the face, she wouldn't lay a finger on anything else. And now it seemed like it was my turn under her knife. "So… whats is going to be kid?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no." And that's when I got the first of many punches. I'm pretty sure she broke my nose, not that it matters in the grand scheme of things.

"Alright, that was your one and only chance. I don't care if in five minutes you cry out for me to stop, there are no second chances with me." And that's when the beatings began, up until she said the words that really made me nervous, "go get the belt sander." Over the next six months, she would take various sharp objects, from screws to sandpaper and shove them in my face, stabbing, slicing, and grinding away at my identity. She was actually quite inventive, something I could respect. Eventually, I couldn't even feel it anymore, it just became the only constant thing I had to look forward to.

"Hahahaha!," it was a little scary, "hahaha! C'mon, is that the best you got? You didn't even scrape bone this time." The pain became my life, and why not try to enjoy it more than the masochist torturing me? Near the end, I'm pretty sure I had felt all the pain The Plastic Surgeon could deal out. But eventually, every party must end. “I'll admit you're tough for someone who looks so fragile,” at this point, I couldn't even talk, the skin of my face was more like a mask in itself, hanging on by a few threads. "But I'm afraid it's now time for our parting gift,” and that’s when she wheeled out the acid. You would think that your flesh burning, melting back in place would be my wake up call, but I was just happy to feel again. They dropped me off in the bad part of town, in nothing but a blanket and one of their masks to cover myself and keep my face in place. Some people at this point would have given up, no clothes, no face, a family who thinks your most likely dead. I had basically nothing… Except for a plan.

“And now, we find ourselves at the end result of that plan,” in the empty, dimly lit restaurant the Blackwell crime family's dinner of twelve was interrupted by an unexpected thirteenth guest. Wearing the most audacious suit he could find: a bright red jacket and neon green pants, and the same mask his kidnappers left him with. His voice was flamboyant and excited The masks solid expression surveyed the room, looking at his captive audience. Every member at the table was bound and gagged, completely at the mercy of the prodigal son returned. “I mean it wasn't a hard leap for me to figure out that it was my own brother who hired The Plastic Surgeon. Who else would have wanted me out of the picture?” he stopped in front of a young man, sitting at the table, with fear in his eyes. “Just admit it,” he said pulling the tape off his brother's mouth. He was breathing heavily, sweat starting to form on his brow,

"Alright Antony, I'm sorry-"

“Oh wait, It doesn't really matter if you confess or not,” with that he cut the young man's throat, blood falling from his neck and into the young man's dinner as he struggled to breathe, drowning in his own blood. "But the plan doesn't stop there… after those long months in the warehouse, I thought I had gone insane. But then I realized, insanity is just a different form of clarity. And believe me, I am just starting to see things much more clearly. As soon as I figured out it was Romulus I knew I was going to kill him, I just had to figure out where and when. Lucky for me the annual family meeting was coming up, and even though I never attended one, I did all the books, so your "secret" meeting place," he said making air quotes with his hands, still holding the bloody knife, "was always just that old Italian restaurant dad used to take me to." As he talked he walked around the table, "next I needed to hire some muscle, fortunately, the family has no shortage of people they've pissed off." With a snap of his fingers, four men with gas tanks emerged from the shadows.

"Now," he said addressing his father at the head of the table, "in a mobster movie, this would be the time that I say that this is just business, nothing personal… but," he lifts his mask to reveal the grotesque, scared, sliced, burned, and melted collection of flesh he had for a face. "This is extremely personal," on his command the men started pouring the gasoline on the members of the family. He pulled a matchbook from his pocket, tossing it from one hand to another, "now dad, I really don't want to do this, like I said… you were always nice to me. The best father I could have asked for," he takes a match from the matchbook. Lighting it, the match reflected off of the plastic, his plastic mask glowing in the firelight, “but this isn’t about me,” he drops the match and the entire table is set ablaze, the muffled screams of the other men echo throughout the room, his father just stared at him, his expression unreadable as he burned, “I’m sorry dad, but something happened in that warehouse. I didn't want this job at first, but the more they tortured me, told me to give it up the more I wanted to hold onto it. So that's what I'm going to do, make your dream come true, bring this family into the future better than it ever was… bu In order to do that I need a fresh start, the old way, your ways nearly destroyed our way of life, so I'm taking all the old pieces of the board. And we both know that the best way to clear the board is the best way to deal with anything… burn it down.”

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[liberty1776]

I finally read that essay and jotted down these rebuttals.

A big part of his argument seems to be that because pantheism is not a new idea, it is not worth considering. However, I think that lends credibility to a pantheist theology. It shows that this was the “default setting” of the human outlook before society led to entrenched powers-that-be with their own agendas and convoluted justifications for the status quo and conformist worldview. I feel the same way about Anarcho-Primitivism as opposed to the modern crony capitalist socio-economic model we have today. I see it as reassuring to think that the natural bent of humanity is towards egalitarianism, both of our kin/immediate community and the heavens. It was when we lost touch with nature and the way humans evolved to live (active, close-knit tribal family groups, etc) that malicious dogma manipulated us into passivity and servility towards the ruling class. 

He doesn't back up his claims that the Greeks moving away from Pantheism represent their peak. He also seems to be confusing pantheism with polytheism, because the Ancient Romans (except maybe predating the founding of the city) were never pantheist. Pantheist means everything is divine, or an expression of divinity. But the Romans did separate the natural world and man from Gods. They had separate, named, individual gods in their pantheon even from before they were influenced by the Greeks. As an example, the Romans had triads of Gods that were particularly revealed. During the times of the Republic and Empire, they had the Capitoline Triad consisting of Jupiter, Juno and Minerva (who, by this time, were equated with Zeus, Hera and Athena respectively.) They also had the Aventine Triad who were special to the plebeians, consisting of Liber, Libera and Ceres (Dionysus, Persephone and Demeter.) In the earliest days of the city, they used an archaic triad comprised of Jupiter, Mars and Quirinus. While there were rare examples of mortal men crossing into the divine, like Romulus becoming associated with Quirinus, that could not denote a pantheist worldview anymore than Jesus being part of the Christian trinity makes Christianity a pantheist religion.

CS Lewis is inherently biased in his worldview. He's Christian, so to his mind Christianity is the most moral, advanced, perfect religion. Any society that has ever been pantheist are described as “savages,” “barbarians,” or going through a period of decline according to him. This betrays a lack of understanding or respect for any alternative worldview besides his own. He does not provide a definition for what constitutes a lesser culture, or how a pantheist religion drags down its people.

CS Lewis either misunderstands or is misrepresenting the history of atom theory. It is indeed an old idea from the ancient Greeks and Indians. But I'm not sure what his point is in saying that because atoms are not as “indivisable” as the ancient Greeks thought that somehow means old ideas (like Pantheism) are inherently wrong and worthy of scorn. By contrast, I find it impressive that men from thousands of years in the past were inquisitive enough to form such a hypothesis. Just because the details of how atoms worked escaped them doesn't mean we should mock their intellectual curiosity and intuition. In fact, researching the history of atom theory shows that knowledge of atoms disappeared in Western Europe until the Renaissance when references to it in the works of Aristotle (whom CS Lewis has previously considered a high point of Greece in his essay) were rediscovered. I see this as evidence that it is actually Christianity (and perhaps, Monotheism) that is truly what makes men barbarous and primitive as opposed to Pantheism. When Christianity was the uncontested cultural force in the world from the years ~400 to ~1400 man was far less open-minded and studious as opposed to the Platonism (CS Lewis holds in esteem) and the age of enlightenment.

I resent the argument that pantheists merely hold onto their beliefs because they discovered them after being indoctrinated as children by Christianity and therefore see pantheism as “more mature.” It's clear to me that CS Lewis is merely talked at pantheists rather than talking to them (IE trying to understand them objectively.) He is coming from the Christian POV and therefore anything against that worldview is presented as silly, misguided and malicious because that's the conclusion he's already come to in his own mind. He accuses panthiests of “picture thinking” (which, I'm not even sure what he means—and he uses picturesque analogies in the same paragraph in service of Christianity.) I would counter that instead pantheism is one of the two natural conclusions in terms of marrying science with theology. When one sheds the dogmatic and arbitrary laws or beliefs of polytheism and monotheism, observes the natural world objectively without a conclusion already decided (which is what science is) there can only be pantheism or atheism.