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thoughtsonpoldark · 19 days ago

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Hello….As you have, I believe such a keen perspective on so many details of this story, I would like to ask your thoughts on the following: Based on the Poldark series, which provided a visual to Ross’s night with Elizabeth, if Ross acted in a moment of anger and frustration why did he stay with her until the early morning. If the infidelity was a singular act of lust due to anger, why did he stay the whole night until early morning? This is a source of confusion for me when considering the infidelity. It leads you to believe it was more than just a singular “loss of control.” (I don’t believe that Ross loved Elizabeth and his love for Demelza proved much stronger than his infidelity, but this is a gray area for me…). Can you share your thoughts on this?

Hi there, this question regarding Ross Poldark staying overnight with Elizabeth is good one for which I will first set the scene a bit on first.

Ross made some comments to Demelza at the end of ‘Warleggan’ when with a calmer attitude about it she finally questioned him about his night with Elizabeth. I think that one in particular is quite key to my thoughts. He did say “But I wasn’t seeking just pleasure. I was -I suppose in fundamentals I was seeking the equal of what I’d found in you, and it was not there. For me it was not there.” Also just before he lifted Elizabeth and took her to the bed that night he did say “There’s no tomorrow. It doesn’t come. Life is an illusion. Didn’t you know? Let us make the most of the shadow”

Loss of control a segway to Ross's controlled unreason

My understanding is that Ross was angry when he went to see Elizabeth and that he was further provoked by the content of the discussion he was having with Elizabeth. This included her provoking him with an untruth in the heat of the moment where she said that she loved George to distraction. It was after that that he became physical by taking her arm and pinioning it behind her as well as kissing her violently. This was anger and Elizabeth described it as hateful. However where you mention a singular ‘loss of control’ this was not a situation like where Ross beat George up and would be pulled off him and then parted from him to go their own way. Ross’s anger with Elizabeth contained in the privacy of that bedroom together, was a segway which carried him through to a point where he was too far gone to where he was presented with an opportunity with Elizabeth that he would not have got to if not for the anger beforehand.

Graham then narrated that Ross kissed Elizabeth with passion where anger gave this extra relish, until anger was lost. Bearing in mind that Ross had thought in ‘The Twisted Sword’ that Valentine was conceived from anger, frustration and lust on his part, I believe that in this scene the anger was lost to lust which in his unreasonable and destructive state of mind brought Ross to suggest that they make the most of the shadows. So from that loss of control Ross had strayed into a state of mind where he was in control but was unreasonable. It is similar to when his anger had led him to plunder the Warleggan boats when they were shipwrecked after Julia’s death. He felt discomfort at the innocent verdict he was given for that because he did not feel he lost his mind or control but similarly anger had carried him through to unreason and a purposeful destruction where he was very focused and very much in control with that goal and in taking advantage of a situation that had occurred. This is like the same with his angry tide anger which after a loss of control in his scuffle with Monk Adderly over his pursuit of Demelza (and behind that her past infatuation for Hugh Armitage), this led him to ignore good reason not to do a duel with Adderly. Once in ‘The Angry Tide’ when Demelza challenged Ross about why he went to Trenwith to look in at the party being thrown there by Elizabeth and George and how he could have been caught by George and had a scene, he said “….It was a single act of -of unreason, if you like. You have to face the fact-must have faced it long ago- that I am not always a reasonable man.” It is these comments by Ross as written by Graham as an explanation of Ross understanding of himself that do match up with many of Ross’s wild behaviour across the saga. I believe that this unreason normally followed some goad or provocation and after the initial loss of control led him down a questionable path.

The Goad of Curiosity and Unreality

For that situation with the Trenwith party Ross was not charged with anger but a long running resentment and in the moment a curiosity about what was going on at his ancestral home. In the situation with Elizabeth for the May incident it is important to remember unreasonableness had led Ross to a point whereas he admitted to Demelza he had had pleasurable sex with Elizabeth. The context of this not just being anyone must be considered. This was the woman that he had wanted to marry, that he had idealised and he said he was devoted to for 10 years. She was the woman who had ‘got away’ and had an idealised relationship with and who at certain times in the book his curiosity over her had been shared with the reader. For instance, wondering if he loved her because he knew her less, wondering about the electric shock from touching her arm once, and wondering if he did truly love her and if their personalities would clash if they had married. Remember that from the starting point of anger each emotion which had followed for Ross that had led him to this point post sex, now provided him with a massive moment to finally address his 10 year curiosity, to scratch the surface and maybe finally have these questions that may have bugged him, answered. As a man, just like Demelza on a deserted beach with Hugh was subject to temptation and a feeling of unreality as an unnamed woman, it is not that surprising that Ross would be tempted to stay for a bit too if only for curiosity’s sake and to take this experience with the woman he had idealise so long, a bit beyond just sex that post sex.

A chance to dig for a deeper connection equal to his with Demelza

"....in fundamentals I was seeking the equal of what I’d found in you, and it was not there."

Ross to Demelza

Based on Ross’s comments on occasion in the book where he said suggested or said explicitly that sex without emotion was empty, the curiosity in what Ross was looking for in Elizabeth that was in Demelza would not be determined from the sex alone. What Ross probably meant he was looking for in Elizabeth was a deeper connection beyond the physical act, just as he then long had with Demelza. So this would be emotional connectedness, intimacy and that spark that lit his fire as he told Demelza she did for him. Also unlike a brawl with George where he would be separated and go elsewhere, Ross was with Elizabeth in the privacy of her bedroom having just been sexually aroused by her. In exploring his curiosity for a comparison against Demelza he may then have not left immediately for that reason. In any case with him as the offender and then in a calmer disposition, leaving straightaway might have appeared to be wholly disrespectful. My position is that this was a case of acquaintance rape which especially with the confusion about if Elizabeth was willing in the end and perhaps Elizabeth just not resisting and not treating him like the devil, even if she still did not consent, this would explain why Ross staying was not so strange. But even more so for those that do not agree that any rape occurred. These two had a long running relationship history and regard for each other and so leaving immediately or very soon after such a momentous incident would again be less likely than if it were someone without that relationship background.

I suspect that the atmosphere post sex was probably filled with their differing mixed emotions such as some shell shock for what had just happened, embarrassment, a sense of duty to stay for a bit to reframe, soften and counter the impact of what was essentially a violent taking of Elizabeth (which may or may not have seemed not to be so much against Elizabeth’s will in the end), and to try to kill the awkwardness and make up for bad behaviour. Also Ross likely wanted to see if the pleasure he experienced from the physical aspect of the experience was followed in their togetherness in the aftermath. But he found it was not. It is frustrating that Winston Graham did not describe this scene or account for what they did exactly over the length of time they stayed together into the early hours of the morning. However while we know what time he arrived at Nampara we do not know the exact time he left Trenwith. However I am supposing that their time together however long was strained, weird and lacking in conversation. That seems to be the case based on their respective post event reflections where despite Ross staying for some considerable time, neither of them seemed to know how the other felt about the incident or each other wishes thereafter. Perhaps that indicates superficial level conversation and none of it was referred to.

A blessing for Ross's processing

If my vision of the kind of post sex scenario between Ross and Elizabeth did occur, I do think that this probably was an important occurrence to help Ross process his feelings for Elizabeth rather than for him to have left immediately and not experienced that bold in your face reality of intimacy or lack of intimacy and lack of connectedness with Elizabeth in the aftermath. Otherwise Ross might have been subject to a sanitised idealised vision which could have troubled Ross in a different way if as an idealised vision might, this made Elizabeth more appealing and competitive against Demelza. So personally I think that in a sense it was helpful for him to have stayed that night for a long period and felt what I believe was awkwardness and emotional disconnectedness. I feel this will have helped Ross to clear away his confusion over time as he grew in understanding and perhaps acceptance about his feelings and where they leaned (given that he had probably expected over so long to feel more out of this world feeling in an intimate experience with Elizabeth). Judging from his response to Demelza’s suggestion that the circumstances were not the most romantic and he might want to try again, he was not interested in that idea and all that had occurred to me was all part of the processing he went through to find where his heart really lay.

I hope my take does not sound too oddball for you and at least offers some food for thought.

#poldark #demelza poldark #ross poldark #winston graham #romelza #demelza #elizabeth poldark #elizabeth warleggan

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nervousladytraveler · 2 years ago

Text

Late

Note: this is meant to be another "sweet Romelza snippet" that @veryflowerobservation asked for last week. But I think it is the sequel to something I haven't yet written. Be warned there's a bit in the middle that I redacted so I wouldn't be giving anything too specific away.

Really it's just a conversation about the weather punctuated by tea.

----------

“Ross? I’m home,” Demelza called. Thud…thud, thud…thump.

Ross put down his book and listened. He could hear her belongings--bag, boots, even her coat--being dropped on the hallway floor. Then the jingle of her keys; those she hung up. It was only one minute later that she was at the bedroom door.

“I’m home,” she repeated and this time he heard the note of relief in her voice. Unruly curls formed a halo around her flushed face. Her eyes shone but she looked tired and a bit breathless from having taken the stairs two at a time.

He smiled at the sight of her. Whenever she worked late, the same sensations of excitement, peace of mind, and love, washed over him as soon as she returned. He didn't think those feelings would ever get old.

Farquahar, their three year old spaniel, seemed to share the sentiment. It mattered little how long his mistress had been gone, as soon as she walked through the door, his devotion was demonstrated with a series of exuberant bum wiggles and high pitched whines that made him seem like a puppy again.

“Okay, okay, Farkles, my dear boy,” Demelza said and perched on the edge of the bed to scratch the belly he submissively presented. “I know, I know. It’s been a long ten hours, hasn’t it?” It was a voice Demelza used only for the dog and sometimes for the cats, though she tended to have more rational conversations with them. “Of course he can’t be arsed to meet me at the door,” she laughed.

She meant the dog but Ross supposed she could just as easily be referring to him.

“Maybe he just wanted to lure you into bed without further delay?” he offered.

“Oh, is that it?”

“Did you…?” Ross asked out of habit. But he knew it wasn’t something to genuinely fret about. Demelza, never one to skip meals, packed her own dinner whenever she stayed at work past seven.

“Yes…no, not really, but I’m fine.” She turned and flashed him a smile so he’d believe her, then began to remove a few layers including a sodden jumper and wet socks.

“You look cold.” Ross patted the warm bed next to him.

“I am, the temperature must have dropped 5 degrees since mornin’. I forget how that happens in October.” She felt her t-shirt to see if it too was damp, then she gave it a sniff, wrinkling her nose in disgust. In one quick motion she pulled it over her head and tossed it across the room, putting as much distance between it and her as possible. “Or maybe the rain just makes it seem that much colder?”

“How bad is it?” He asked about the weather but sensed there was something she wanted to tell him. It wasn’t in the words she had used but how they were delivered. And her energy was off. She seemed unusually slow and heavy footed.

“Any rain is bad when you're out in it, any rain is cosy when you're tucked in bed,” she laughed looking at him under the warm pile of bedclothes. She reached for another t-shirt, one Ross had worn earlier in the day and that he’d left folded neatly on the chair. “Yes, it's beastly. Each drop is heavy, sharp and almost…metallic feelin’, if that makes any sense. Instinctively you just know to get inside fast.”

“My love, you must have a hundred ways of describing the rain,” he smiled and opened his arms to her. She crawled across the bed and settled against him with a sigh. Her hair felt damp on his cheek.

“Maybe if we lived elsewhere I wouldn’t be so well acquainted with the rain,” she said. She sounded serious but he knew she was teasing. She loved Cornwall in all its seasons. “Though it's not just the rain here that varies so much,” she added.

“Yes, it’s also the sunlight and the sea and the wind…” he said and kissed her temple.

“Well the wind does sound worse tonight than it really is. I mean it's blowin’ some leaves around but the trees are still safe and sound. Not like those late spring storms. They come out of nowhere and are more destructive than you'd expect.”

“Yes.” He knew.

It had been late spring when such a storm--albeit an emotional one--had destroyed their relationship years ago. During Easter, at least that's what he remembered, though she’d have said the final blow wasn't until May. But neither of them talked about that anymore, not with accusatory barbs, anyway.

“Speakin’ of trees, have you noticed the two oaks nearest the roads are in ghastly shape? Not just fallen boughs but crumblin’ through their trunks. Like they’re dissolvin’ almost.”

“Little wonder--they were already old when my father took this place on. I meant to have them pulled down, before they fall down on someone,” he said. “Oh don’t fret, we’ll plant new ones this spring.”

“Yes, I know,” she sighed but he knew she would mourn them all the same. “How old do you have to be to climb a tree?” she asked.

“You mean how old ought one be or how old was I?” he laughed.

“You know I don’t think I ever climbed a tree until I came to Nampara,” she mused. “I mean I climbed other things, but not a proper tree.”

“I seem to recall you fell out of them more than once.” He kissed her and pulled her tighter, as if he could retroactively protect her from past harms. As she leaned against him he could feel both her weariness and her restlessness.

“Do you want me to run you a hot bath?” he asked. That was one of their evening routines. She’d soak away some of the stress of the day then he’d come in to scrub her back and chat her up.

“No. I don’t want to keep you awake much longer. I know, I'm rather late tonight.” She placed her cold hand on his arm that was across her heart and glanced at his watch. “Work was...well it's over so never mind.”

“You want to tell me about it?” he said gently. Was that what she was trying to tell him?

[several paragraphs redacted here so that nothing too plotsy is revealed]

Now she laughed. He liked the way that felt when she was lying against him.

“Demelza, I have long since resolved to trust your judgement when it comes to such matters.” He knew she’d bring home whatever and whoever needed help. And he loved her for that, as inconvenient as it might sometimes feel.

“Though at a certain point, it isn't right for the others you already have livin’ with you,” she went on. “For their quality of life.” She stopped, seemingly lost in the thought.

“Oh?” he asked again.

“I mean you can’t take on too many cats before they start to feel unhappy and fight and show their love for you less.”

“You’ve only brought us two cats,” he reassured her. “And one lives in the barn and the other never leaves that chair in the study so there’s no quarrelling between them. In fact we’ve room for a dozen more if you must, considering how much land we have…”

“‘Course it's also a question of safety. You can't bring home any wild animals if you've small children.”

“Have you any recently?” he laughed.

“Wild animals?”

“I meant small children?” he laughed again.

She was silent and he could feel she hadn't let out the breath she’d inhaled. Then the penny dropped.

“Demelza?” His heart suddenly racing in his chest. No doubt she could hear it.

“Yes, Ross.” She finally exhaled.

“My love, do you think you’re…?” he asked, trying to stay calm, trying to keep his words, and his hands, as gentle as he could.

“I mean I don’t know. I might be. Could very well be,” she said softly. “‘Course feelin’ tired, lightheaded, and nauseous could mean anythin’ really. I’m gonna wee on a stick in the mornin’.”

“In the morning?” he asked. “It’s not that late--I can get to Tesco in seventeen minutes if you need me to run out.” He started to sit up.

“I still have a few tests.”

“Okay, so you want to wait to find out?”

“Yes,” she said and he knew she’d explain. “See, now I can hope that it’s positive and that’s a lovely thought, a sweet thought, and with that hope, I’ll be able to fall asleep. And I’m exhausted, so that's what I need right at this moment. But If I take the test now, and it’s negative, then the disappointment--that will be crushin’ and I’d be up all night. I’d just be so…”

“I know,” he said and pulled her up closer so her head was level with his. That was one way they were so complementary. She could live on hope, even if the odds were long, and he searched out factual certainty, even if all looked grim. He kissed her lips softly and then put her hand to his cheek.

The past six months of deliberately trying to conceive--after years of deliberately trying not to--had been hard on them both, but harder on Demelza, he knew. Every time she got her period, she felt as though somehow she’d failed. Ross didn't see it that way, but while he was merely disappointed, she was growing sad.

“Okay, take your time and do it in the morning. There’s no rush then,” Ross said, although he knew the suspense and anxiety would keep him up all night. But his feelings mattered little to him now. “Remember Dr. Mather said our best bet was to stay relaxed and patient. And there’s no reason that…”

“Yes, I know, but it doesn't mean I can’t worry,” she said. “And can you, Ross? Stay relaxed and patient?”

“Yes, I can, Demelza,” he said, kissing her finger tips.

“Gives us more time to plant a new climbin’ tree,” she said, trying to be practical.

“We have plenty of other trees for a little friend if we need them sooner.”

“Yes, yes,” she said and raised her head just a little. “Well, it may be too late for a bath but I’m going to have a shower.”

“Excellent idea,” he said and gave her a gentle push to help her sit up.

Ross knew she wouldn't be long and hurried downstairs to make her a cup of tea. That was another of their nightly rituals. She'd wait too long for it to cool then only drink a few sips before abandoning it on the bedside table. But it was a gesture of care that she seemed to appreciate. Tonight he considered pouring himself a whisky but doubted it would do anything to steady his heightened state.

He returned only a few minutes later and smiled at the trail of discarded clothes she’d left on the floor. He put the steaming mug down on the bedside table and began to fold her things, one at a time.

It was when the taps were shut off that he heard it: a beeping alarm coming from her mobile left on the dresser. She’d set a timer.

For three minutes.

“Demelza?” he called and, as usual, his worried voice sounded darker than he’d meant. He hoped she hadn’t relented and taken a test just for his sake. “Demelz…”

She came out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel and switched off the alarm without making any eye contact. He felt his stomach drop and fought to contain a heavy sigh. It would be a long night for both of them now.

“I made you some chamomile tea,” he said. A piss poor consolation and he knew it.

“Thank you, Ross,” she said, then she turned and gave him a smile--her biggest and brightest smile, that lit the whole room. “Good choice…since I’ll need to be cuttin’ back on caffeine for a while.” She raised her brows playfully and gave a little hop.

“Demelza…” he began but she was already in front of him, her arms around his neck. It took him a second to catch up, then his own arms met across her back pulling her close. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, no doubtin’ it. I can show you the wand if you don’t believe me,” she laughed.

“Oh my love,” he whispered. His cheeks were wet but whether that was from her hair or his eyes, he couldn't say. He felt her body vibrate with laughter and with joy as he held her close.

“I was wrong, Ross,” she said. “Even with this good news, I don't think I’m goin’ to be able to sleep tonight.”

“No,” he laughed. “I don't suppose you will.”

#poldark #poldark fanfic #lucretiassister #ross poldark #demelza carne #poldark modern au #pregnancy #fluff and romance

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