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linzerj · 6 years ago

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should’ve, could’ve, would’ve

In an alternate version of reality, Thor aims for Thanos’s head.

(another foray into the mcu. read on AO3 here)

----

On Titan, Stephen Strange looks into the future to see all possible outcomes of this battle, and what it means for the war. There are 14,000,605 possible outcomes, and only one where they win.

But it’s how Stephen Strange defines ‘win’ that determines there only being one favorable outcome. In this version of events, everyone makes it out the other end alive. Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, Thor, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, T’Challa, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, James Rhodes, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Peter Quill, Drax, Mantis, Rocket, Groot, Gamora, Loki, and Stephen Strange himself are all alive at the end of the one, single, favorable, best-possible-outcome timeline. This is the path Stephen Strange tries to send them all down.

But after his surrender of the Time Stone on Titan, there are several ways the battle on Earth can go.

Even without the Eye of Agamotto, Stephen has been exposed to it’s energies long enough to tell that in this version of reality, the battle will go as it should for the most favorable outcome to come to fruition. Vision will fall. Thor aims for the chest. Thanos snaps, and half the world becomes ash, becomes dust.

After this, he recalls, the remaining heroes reunite, with Scott Lang and Carol Danvers arriving and playing crucial roles in setting things right. This is the sequence of events that will eventually lead to Thanos’s downfall and the restoration of the universe and the fallen, as it should be.

But in a universe just so slightly off from this one, Thor changes the outcome. In an alternate version of reality, Thor aims for Thanos’s head.

---

In this version of reality, they win too, but it’s at a higher cost.

Thanos’s body lays in the outskirts of Wakanda, bloody, lifeless, and still. Some yards away, Vision’s body lays broken, most of his head missing and mangled from when Thanos tore the Mind Stone from his head. Wanda has collapsed onto his body, sobbing.

Hundreds of Wakandan warriors also lay in the fields, having given their lives to stop Thanos. T’Challa and Okoye turn from staring at Thor and the giant purple body, and begin coordinating with the rest of the survivors to identify the fallen.

Thor remains, staring at where Stormbreaker is embedded in Thanos’s face and skull. He barely acknowledges Rocket and Groot and Steve, who are standing behind him. They’re staring too, but whether out of awe or horror is anyone’s guess at this point.

It’s Rocket who can’t stand the silence, and eventually breaks it. “So what are we gonna do with those stones now?”

“I do not know,” Thor replies slowly, trying to hide a tremor in his voice. “I…” He closes his eyes. “I should like to use the stones to restore those who Thanos has killed, but I do not know what effect this will have on the universe. And regardless, I think I would like to see if we can restore Vision, with or without the Mind Stone, before destroying any of them.

So they leave it, for now. No one can touch the Stones anyway, except Thor, unless they want to risk destroying themselves. A few Dora Milaje are stationed around the body and the Stones as Thor and the rest follow King T’Challa back to the palace to determine what happens next.

---

On Titan, Stephen’s eyes open and he drops from his meditative hover. “It’s over,” he announces, gaining the attention of their motley band. “They’ve killed Thanos on Earth. We’ve won.”

“How the heck do you know that?” Peter Quill asks. Peter Parker nods, watching the doctor, curious as well.

Stephen eyes Quill, then sighs and says, “I saw it, before, and sensed it just now.” And that’s all the explanation he gives.

Still, they all seem to believe him, for what it’s worth. Quill looks back at the rest of his group, including the blue lady, Nebula, who crashed a ship into Thanos halfway through their battle, and they all begin to head toward their ship, still somewhat shaken. Then Quill pauses, turning to watch as Stephen tries to shut Tony up and help heal the stab wound in his side with Peter Parker hovering nearby.

“Hey,” he calls, gaining their attention. “You guys want a lift back to Earth? We’ve got some medical supplies and shit too, so you can patch yourselves up on the way.”

The humans share a look, before Stark nods, turns, and says, “Thanks.”

---

When the Milano makes contact with Wakanda a day later and they get the clearance to touch down, the land around them is still littered with bodies. But these are the bodies of the Outriders, Thanos’s army; the people of Wakanda were efficient at finding their own so they could receive proper funerals.

So the ship touches down, and the Guardians emerge first. They are immediately swarmed by Rocket and Groot, Thor standing solemnly to the side with the Avengers. It’s Rocket who asks where Gamora is.

“She’s – she’s –” Quill can’t get the words out, so Nebula speaks quietly from behind.

“Thanos sacrificed her for one of the Stones. She’s gone.”

Their stunned expressions quickly melt into ones of grief. As they mourn in their little group, Tony emerges from the ship, followed by Peter and Stephen.

“So who got to kill the big purple ballsack?” Tony asks wearily, in lieu of a proper greeting. Thor turns from watching the Guardians, gripping Stormbreaker tight.

“I, but I only wish I could have killed him sooner,” Thor says. “He killed Vision, Stark. Ripped the Mind Stone right from his head.”

Tony breaks. “No,” he whispers. “God, no.”

Behind him, Stephen swallows before stepping forward. “Where’s the Gauntlet?” he asks. “Where are the Stones?”

Thor eyes Stephen, before deflating or relaxing, just a bit. “Ah, yes. You sorcerers guarded the Time Stone.” Thor sighs, turning to gesture towards the palace. “I brought it to the lab of the Princess Shuri. No one else has wanted to risk touching it. Even for me, all six stones together like that are… tempting, and volatile.”

Stephen nods, at this. “I could at least manipulate the Time Stone back into the Eye of Agamotto,” he says. “And while I did not meet Vision, if you are trying to revive him –”

“If Bruce and Shuri and Wanda aren’t already trying to get him back up and running you better bet your ass I will,” Stark cuts in, fists clenched at his side. Stephen studies him for a moment, then nods.

“Well. I can do my best to assist, both medically and magically, if you will allow it. And we should keep the Mind Stone safe, in order to revive him again.”

“Hey, magic man,” a voice cuts in, and it’s Quill, looking both lost and determined at the same time. “Nebs here –”

“I told you to never call me that.”

“– She says that the Soul Stone required a sacrifice of a soul for a soul.” Peter Quill pauses, licks his lips, before continuing. “I… we were wondering if you could take a look at the Soul Stone for us, and just – just see. If Gamora – if she’s there, somehow. Before you destroy it. Please.”

Strange blinks, and then nods. “I’ll call Wong to help,” he says, “and we will try. But I make no promises. If it truly is a soul for a soul, I would imagine you’d need another sacrifice to get her back out, if she’s even in there.”

“Just… let us know what you find, okay?” The heartbreak in Quill’s voice causes Stephen to soften, just a bit more.

“Okay.”

---

When Wong joins them, he and Stephen and Wanda are immediately asked to destroy the other three Stones – Space, Power, and Reality. Wong and Stephen debate over it with Thor, before they agree to it.

“It drastically reduces the risk of something like this happening again,” Stephen explains after it’s all said and done. The Soul and Mind Stones still rest in the Gauntlet, waiting for their turns to be examined. Vision’s body lays on one of Shuri’s medical benches behind them, almost completely repaired physically, but the neurons and coding are still a destroyed mess.

“Reduces, but doesn’t eliminate it totally?” Tony asks, crossing his arms. “I mean, you need all six to become a crazy powerful ultra-god, right?”

“Yes,” Stephen replies, “but even these three remaining Stones are powerful in their own way. Controlling the minds of others; altering time; and deciding the fate of people’s souls? Even with the other three destroyed, I can think of several beings that would look to amplify their own power with but one of the remaining Stones.”

Tony nods, thoughtful, before a light seems to go off in his head. “So your Stone – it’s Time. You could go back in time, if you wanted.”

Stephen swallows, licks his lips. He knows where this is going. “Tony, no,” he says. “I… if I could, I would. But going back in time on that big of a scale, it would cause too many ripples, contrast too sharply with natural law. It could quite honestly destroy our universe when we’re just trying to save it.”

“But…alright, but what about small scale?” Tony asks, gesturing to Vision. “Could you just – just reverse time on Vision only? Make it so he’s – he’s back?”

Stephen sighs, gripping the necklace housing the Time Stone. “Without affecting the rest of time around us? I’m good, but I’m not that good.” He breathes deeply. “The only time I’ve ever done time manipulation on a scale larger than messing around with an apple was restoring the Hong Kong Sanctum to prevent Dormammu from consuming our world. When I made a time loop to –” Stephen sucks in a breath. “– to repeat the same moment over and over and over until he went away, and left Earth in peace instead of pieces.”

Tony sighs, runs a hand down his face. “Alright. Fine.” He looks back at Stephen, then puts a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, anyway.”

It doesn’t feel like he’s done anything worth thanking, but Stephen forces a smile nonetheless.

---

Peter Quill is impatient and emotional, so when he finds Stephen again it takes a lot of effort to remain outwardly calm as he asks, “Any luck?”

But he takes in the expression on Stephen’s face, as well as the other sorcerer Wong, and just knows the answer even before the sorcerers speak. “It requires a soul for a soul,” Stephen says quietly. “Her soul… it exists within the Stone, in a sense, but it is impossible to–”

“I’ll sacrifice myself if I have to,” Peter cuts in, desperation lacing his words. “Just. Please. She deserves to live.”

Stephen’s heart breaks a little bit more. “I’m sorry,” he says. “We still don’t understand it fully, but from what we do understand you need to sacrifice the soul of someone you love to wield the stone. That is literally all we know.”

“It may be possible to sacrifice yourself to free her soul,” Wong says softly, “but without her body, she will just be like a ghost, or so we believe. And we would not want to risk any more lives if none of this works.”

“I’m sorry,” Stephen says again as Peter’s heart shatters. All he can do is slump into the sorcerer and sob.

---

Tony and Shuri and Bruce stare at the mess of neurons, the mess of Vision’s brain, and slump in defeat. “I should be able to do this,” Shuri says. “I was so close, before…”

Tony takes a shaky breath. “It’s alright, kid,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else he can say. Beside him, Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder. Bruce knew that Vision was important to Tony. Bruce knew that Vision was all he had left of JARVIS. Bruce knew.

Shuri, though, bless her heart, she wanted to help him too. “I’m sorry,” she says, for the fifth time today. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark – Tony.”

“I could try inserting the Mind Stone back into his body,” Stephen’s voice says, and the three whirl around to see the sorcerer standing behind him, the fading glow of sparks indicating he’s only just opened a portal into the lab. “It might jump-start some of the neural connections that were severed, but I don’t know…how efficient it would be.”

Tony swallows. Opens his mouth, then closes it, thinking. Then he says, “Alright. We… we should try it, if you think it has even the slightest chance. For Vision.”

Everyone else in the room nods in agreement.

So they try.

But it doesn’t bring Vision back.

---

So they continue on existing. Thor has lost his people, his brother. Nebula has lost her sister, Peter Quill has lost his lover, and the Guardians of the Galaxy have lost a beloved friend. Wanda Maximoff has lost her love, and Tony Stark has lost his – his – his Vision. Wakanda has lost hundreds of good soldiers.

In an alternate version of reality, Thor aims for Thanos’s head. In this reality, they win, but they also lose.

---

There are hundreds of thousands of millions of alternate realities just like that. One little act has ripples throughout space-time. There are realities where the Hulk does not hide away and changes the tide of the fights. There are realities where Peter Quill shoots Gamora before Thanos can change his blaster to bubbles. There are realities where Gamora lets Nebula suffer and refuses to give the location of the Soul Stone, and realities where Gamora is successful in killing herself before Thanos can use her. There are realities where Peter Quill does not strike Thanos, either because he recognizes that he needs to wait or because someone holds him back or because he hesitates one extra second and that’s all Peter Parker and Tony Stark need to rip the Gauntlet from Thanos’s hand. There are realities where Stephen Strange does not give up the Time Stone for Tony Stark, and runs or continues to fight or even reverses time in an effort to save his new friends, save the world. There are realities where Shuri successfully removes the Mind Stone from Vision without harm, and Wanda Maximoff destroys it long before Thanos arrives. There are realities where they destroy the Time Stone before confronting Thanos. There are millions and millions of realities. They lose in most. They are partially successful in others. It’s all a game of should’ve, could’ve, would’ve; each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Butterfly effects. All of these realities exist. Stephen Strange sees all of these realities, and remembers them all too.

But Stephen Strange sees just one reality where everyone comes out the other side alive. They have to sacrifice much to achieve that end, but that is the reality in which they exist. The odds are 14,000,605 to one, but they’ll get lucky in this universe.

In other realities, it’s should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.

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beckytailweaver · 7 years ago

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[FIC] Coco - What the Xolo Dragged In (Part 7)

Before anybody wonders, remember that in another lifeline, Héctor Rivera had the moxie to punch Pepita in the nose when he thought she was after his chamaco. This is not a cowardly man, for all that he graciously yields to more forceful personalities...most of the time.

Coco - What the Xolo Dragged In

Part 7 - Break

These days, Héctor always felt terribly out of place up in the nicer sections of the city. Everything was clean, clearly lit, and brightly painted, pretty as a picture in the mid-morning sunlight. The skeletons walking to and fro about their business were well-dressed and had the white, sturdy bones of the Remembered. The stares and whispers, however—disdainful and sometimes horrified, unlike the mere curiosity of his Shantytown peers—made him glad he’d kept to the side streets and alleys, acutely conscious of his awkward gait, ragged clothes, and chipped, weathered bones.

The Forgotten were memorable when they appeared outside their dank domain below—as memorable as a leper at a gala ball, and just about as welcome. It was always the same; the constant prickle of open stares, or the cold shoulder of being deliberately ignored.

At least if they were staring at him, they were less likely to notice the little shadow he led along by the hand, or at least more likely to pass it off as a Forgotten child—something they wanted to acknowledge even less.

Miguel was doing a good job of keeping up, uncomplaining, though his small head swiveled this way and that the whole trip, in awe of the bright maze that was the massive city of the dead and its inhabitants (they’d taken care of Miguel’s business in a dark corner just outside of Shantytown, where hopefully no one would really notice one more puddle on the damp pyramid stones). The boy was probably getting tired from the very long walk, but he gamely kept going; he had a lot of questions, but was mostly distracted by anything resembling music. Every time they passed another source of song, the child locked on to it like a pointer dog until they passed out of earshot or another one appeared.

Soon enough, the instances of music thinned and vanished as they walked, driven away by the austere silence of the forbidden zone surrounding the quiet street Héctor knew far too well. The sense of impending doom curled his shoulders more with every step; he was walking into the jaguar’s den and he knew it, but a little stomach growled audibly at his side like a tiny angry alebrije and he continued putting one foot in front of the other.

If he kept thinking about Miguel, he wouldn’t think about the anger and rejection that awaited him. Miguel was love and warmth and a ready smile and a cheerful voice that danced like happy guitar music and hugs that felt like home.

With every step he took, he grew closer to losing that joy forever.

But Miguel needed food and care and everything Héctor couldn’t provide, and that was far more important than his own wants.

Almost before he knew it (before he wanted it), they were in front of the familiar gate, overshadowed by the large sign shaped like a shoe. The high wall was brightly painted; the house beyond it was even taller, built upward to contain the family like all structures in the Land of the Dead. It was quiet within, the courtyard shaded from the sun by colorful sheets of fabric tied up in gentle swoops.

“Papá Héctor,” Miguel whispered, staying close to his side, “this looks kinda like my house. See? There’s the same sign.”

“That’s because it kind of is your house,” Héctor said softly, forcing the sadness out of his tone. “Or it will be your house, someday. It’s your family’s house, where everyone lives when they’re not visiting your ofrenda.”

“Oh.�� Miguel looked up at the gate a moment longer. “They have breakfast here?”

Dios mío, I hope so!

“Let’s go find out.” Carefully, Héctor pushed the gate further open and led the boy into the courtyard. Up this high, the ground was wood and brick rather than stone, the yard tastefully decorated with art and sculpture here and there to give the look of plants and shrubs. There was even a small fountain that bubbled pleasantly, which small bird-shaped alebrijes might use as a bath.

Héctor took deep breaths to steady himself as he approached the front door, not out of any need for air but only old habit. If he let his hands shake, Miguel would notice, and the poor kid didn’t need anything more to worry about. Standing on the mat, he took one last glance down at his grandson and winced; hair sticking out around the oversized hat, face smudged with grime from the back streets, covered in a tattered, filthy poncho, the boy looked like a complete ragamuffin.

...whoops. Not gonna win me any points...but I’m already in the record-setting negatives anyway.

Héctor raised a fist and knocked timidly. He couldn’t exactly hope that no one was at home, but maybe Imelda would be out and he could speak to someone else—

A roar resounded through the courtyard and sent Miguel crowding against his legs with a frightened squeak.

Oh no.

Imelda’s huge, terrifying alebrije rose from a sunny spot on the outbuilding roof across the courtyard, wings casting a deep shadow as the massive feline leaped effortlessly to the ground. The growl the creature emitted shook the courtyard floor as it advanced. Pepita knew Héctor on sight and, after this many years, knew that her mistress didn’t want him around.

And yet, Miguel’s fearful whimper seemed to drown out all of the oncoming alebrije’s noise.

“Hey!” Hyper-aware of the tiny hands clinging to his trouser leg, Héctor pointed a finger at the big cat’s nose, marveling somewhere in the back of his mind that his hands still weren’t shaking. “Back off! I’m here on business, and you’re scaring the kid!”

Pepita snarled but stood still, as if momentarily baffled by his defiance. One swat from her paw could scatter him all over the courtyard like an upended bundle of sticks, and she’d never been shy about showing her displeasure. Before she could respond, however, a small brightly-colored bundle of excitement bounced up to her feet, yapping loudly and tail wagging in a blur. Apparently stymied by this enthusiasm, Pepita stared down at the Xolo-alebrije-pup that threw itself to the ground in front of her and wriggled endearingly as if ecstatic to see her.

With the fearsome alebrije thus distracted (perhaps she wasn’t sure if she should eat it or play with it), Héctor kept Miguel close to him and edged away from the hazard. The only thing worse now would be—

Just behind him, the door swung open sharply. “—is going on, upsetting my alebrije and—you.”

Imelda’s voice, quick to bare fangs of spite, bit into him with all the pain and force he remembered from the last time he’d darkened her doorstep—and the time before that, and the time before that...

Dios, dame fuerza.

Héctor closed his eyes, gave himself one moment to gather all his strength, and turned to her with the most neutral, earnest expression he could manage. Now was not the time for smarmy grins, romantic flourishes, or exaggerated pleas. “Imelda, buenos días. I—”

“Get out! Pendejo músico!” she snarled, her face twisting with rage. “If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, never come back here!”

“I’ll go, just give me a moment to—!”

“I gave you my heart! I gave you years of my life!” She had her boot in her hand in the blink of an eye, advancing on him as threateningly as her alebrije had. “You spat on it all and threw it away! I will give you nothing more!”

Already he was backing away from her wrath, ducking her swing. “Imelda, listen—!”

“Cállate! I told you to get out! Out! Never show your face here again!”

When he dodged back again, his leg bumped against solid warmth. Miguel was still there, cowering from the huge angry alebrije and the shouting adults with a child’s innocent confusion, and Héctor was his only shelter from all that was frightening and unfamiliar.

Imelda had a right to her anger, but this was a separate issue.

Enough. Enough. This is not helping Miguel!

If he stepped back even once more, they’d be fighting on top of their great-great-grandson (a young child should never be subjected to their parents’ conflicts). Héctor straightened his spine as Imelda swung again. Instead of giving ground, he raised his right arm to block the blow.

Her boot slammed into his radius, snapping the brittle bone with a crack that seemed like a gunshot in the closed courtyard, thudding into his ulna with bruising force. He grit his teeth against the lightning agony that rocketed up his arm, the pain turning his voice sharp.

“Will you stop shouting and listen to me for one God-blessed minute?”

For a moment Imelda stood blinking at him, startled as much by the fact she’d actually connected as with his tone.

“This is important.” He lowered his arm, pushing her shoe away; urgency made him force the pain to the background, though he didn’t dare try to move any of the fingers of his right hand. “Miguel is here.”

“What?” Her jaw went slack. “You mean—my Miguelito? But...I-I should’ve been notified—!”

“He’s not dead,” Héctor reassured her quickly, reaching back with his good arm to nudge the child forward. He reclaimed his fraying hat, removing the haphazard disguise on the boy. “He didn’t come in through Arrivals.”

Stunned, Imelda stared down at the living child on her doorstep. Wary of her, Miguel kept a grip on Héctor’s trouser leg as if expecting him to disappear.

“He showed up last night near—near my place,” Héctor went on, “and...I thought it best if I brought him to you.”

“Last night?” Imelda snapped, her ire quickly returning. “He’s been here since last night and you didn’t—?”

“He didn’t recognize me.” Héctor tried not to bite out the words, tried not to sound the slightest bit accusing, the pain in his arm already sharpening his tone. “And I didn’t know who he was at first. And he was soaking wet—I wasn’t going to run him across town like that in the middle of the night!”

Imelda’s scowl deepened along with her glare. “Explain. Now.”

“He came from the Waters.” Héctor kept his good hand on Miguel’s hair, trying to reassure the boy as he spoke quickly. “Something about a ghost trying to grab him—maybe La Llorona?—and this alebrije puppy rescued him from it, but somehow he got from the river in Santa Cecilia to...here.”

Imelda spared a quick glance at Dante, where the pup was bouncing happily around Pepita’s paws as if trying to reach the big cat’s face to lick it.

“Alebrije can’t carry anything across the Veil,” she stated skeptically. “If they could, people would have been sending letters and packages back and forth every day instead of only on Día de Muertos.”

“I don’t know how.” Héctor shrugged, and immediately regretted it when the movement jostled his fractured arm. Wincing, he hissed through his teeth and pressed on. “I found my living grandson washed up from the Waters with this alebrije that used to be his pet, and he doesn’t understand what happened either, only that he heard a scary sound, fell in the river, and saw something that looked like a ghost before his dog pulled him under and he woke up here! And now he’s got to get back to the land of the living, he’s hungry, and I don’t have any way to help him!”

“Another inconvenience you’re so eager to leave behind,” Imelda sniffed, folding her arms.

Struck, Héctor found himself glaring back at her for several beats, wondering if she’d actually heard any of the words he’d said. He had to tighten his jaw to keep from retorting something about how she’d wanted him to bring the boy sooner. His worry over Miguel had apparently short-circuited his usual guilt and passivity in her presence, but if he fought with her they’d get nowhere; Imelda never backed down from a fight, and the quickest way to defuse her was to avoid locking horns.

“I have nothing,” he said, as flatly as he could manage. “I have no food for him, and my house is not fit for children. You can provide for him better than I can. You can make sure the Department does everything possible to return him to the living world. This isn’t about me—this isn’t even about us. Miguel takes priority, and I can’t help him.”

She studied him for long moments before finally rolling her eyes and looking away. “Fine. You’ve done your good deed. Of course I’ll take care of him. Now get out.”

“Gracias, Imelda.” With only one arm, Héctor tried to push the boy toward her, but Miguel wouldn’t let go of him. “Miguel...mijo, you’re gonna stay with Imelda now, alright? She’ll get you some breakfast.”

“No...Papá Héctor, I wanna go with you!” Miguel resisted the soft pressure, balking more when Imelda reached for him. “I don’t want to stay here!”

“Easy now—I got it. Hey, hey, Miguel,” Héctor said gently, kneeling to look the child in the eyes, “this is your Mamá Imelda. You know her, right?”

“She’s on top of the ofrenda,” the boy said after a moment, guarded. “Mamá Coco’s mamá. She made shoes first.”

“That’s right.” Héctor smiled encouragingly. “Mamá Imelda has room for you, and food too. That’s why you need to stay here.”

“But...” Miguel cast a wary, suspicious look up at the stern woman, keeping a tight hold on Héctor’s left arm bones. “She’s the one who said no music. She’ll hate me.”

“No way! Mamá Imelda loves you. She takes care of your family that lives here, just like your Abuelita takes care of your family where you live. You’re much more important than music, mijo. You need to stay where it’s safer for you.” Héctor didn’t let his smile waver, cajoling and positive. “You’ll feel better when you get some food, okay? Your family here will be so happy to see you! And then Mamá Imelda will help you go home to your mamá and papá. You’ll be fine.”

“Well...okay...” Very reluctantly, Miguel let go of Héctor’s good arm. He didn’t look pleased, but at least he wasn’t digging in his heels.

“Come along, Miguel.” Imelda held out her hand, her voice firm but not cold.

The boy glanced at her outstretched hand, then at Héctor. “When are you coming back?”

I’m not. I’m sorry.

“Imelda’s gonna take care of you now.” The tears he held back burned as his good hand cupped his grandson’s cheek, cherishing the warmth he would never touch again. Leaning close, he kissed the boy’s forehead, lingering to murmur, “Be good, Miguel. I love you.”

Please don’t forget how much I love you.

As Héctor rose and stepped back, holding himself rigid, Imelda caught Miguel’s arm when the boy reached for him again. She still glared at him, but there was something off in her gaze that he couldn’t process; all his strength was taken by staying upright and polite. There wasn’t time or space for one more hug, one more goodbye, one more anything—he would always want one more, and another, and another...

One more chance. Please, just...

If he started he’d never stop. He had to hold himself up in spite of his broken heart breaking all over again, in spite of the jagged pain in his cracked arm. As if it wasn’t his family he was walking away from once more; as if it wasn’t the only kin who’d shown him any affection in almost a century he was leaving behind, never to see again.

I can’t...

I have to.

He’d told her he would leave as soon as he’d explained. His face a mask, he cleared his throat and tipped his hat to the lady as if she was a stranger he’d bumped into in the marketplace. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Señora. Good day.”

She started and looked as if she wanted to say something, but he turned away too quickly. He was already at the edge of his tolerances, and if he lingered now he’d collapse. He could only try to ignore the sounds behind him—the scuffling of little feet, the click and rattle of a door opening.

“Papá Héctor’s gonna come back, right? M-Mamá Imelda? He’s gonna come back? After breakfast?”

“Of course not.” Imelda’s voice, gentler with a child but still displeased. “That músico is not welcome here.”

“B-but, he’s—!”

“Miguel, behave and come inside. We need to get you home.”

“No...no, Papá Héctor, please!”

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t help you.

Héctor kept walking, telling himself he couldn’t hear anything behind him, not the upset little boy or the irritated woman or the confused whines of the alebrije-dog. Everyone here hated him, but Miguel didn’t want him to leave, and that was almost enough to break him.

My boy. I love you. Go home. Live.

Closing the courtyard gate behind him helped drown out some of the noise, but it didn’t really stop until Imelda managed to get Miguel inside and shut the door. Then he was walking through the quiet of an ordinary neighborhood in the late morning, with no living child at his side (no small warm hand in his, no sweet musical giggles, no curious little voice asking so many questions) as if once more it had all been a dream, as if it had never happened at all.

Every step he took carried him further away from the last scrap of love in his existence. If by some astronomically slim chance he lasted long enough to see Miguel again, his grandson would be grown, old enough to understand the truth, and turned against him by the stories of their family. The little chamaco who looked at him with love and adoration would never do so again.

But Miguel would live. And that was all that mattered.

Héctor kept putting one limping foot in front of the other, his only company the broken-glass ache of his fractured arm. He didn’t care where he was going, just away, and his feet carried him along aimlessly until he found himself all the way back where he’d started, just outside of Shantytown. Old, old habit had led him back home.

Beyond the gate there was music and joking and raucous teasing shouts. Everyone within sounded far too happy in the afternoon lull. Like they hadn’t had their fondest wishes offered to them on a silver platter and had to let the gift slip through their fingers.

It wasn’t fair of him to be bitter. He should not begrudge his Shantytown Family any happiness they could find. They hadn’t had the privilege of a surprise living family visit, not even through an ofrenda. He’d had an opportunity few of them could even dream of, and he should be grateful for the time he’d had.

It was his own fault. He’d known Miguel for less than a day, and sending his grandson away was almost like leaving Coco behind all over again. He got attached far too easily, even when he knew he shouldn’t. He knew it only caused pain, missing what he couldn’t have, and he already had enough to miss just trying to see his daughter again.

His heart disagreed with his head. His heart said that Miguel was his grandson and he had every right to miss him, even if he’d only known him for a few hours. His heart wanted to rush back to his family’s home and beg for one more chance, even if pleading had never worked before. His heart knew that he loved that beautiful little boy helplessly, instantly, eternally, just like he loved his wife, his daughter, and all of his faceless grandchildren no matter how far apart they were.

Héctor couldn’t stand the thought of returning to his cold, empty hut without the music of Miguel’s voice to fill it. He had no strength left to don his careless grin for the sake of his fellow Nearly-Forgotten. He turned away from the merry voices of his Shantytown Family (their laughter he couldn’t join and their questions he didn’t want to answer) and his feet took him onward to the shadowed place at the edge of the misty Waters where he’d first found Miguel.

There he slumped like a forgotten marionette, with his broken arm and his broken heart, silent tears rolling down his cheekbones. In over a hundred years of existence, he’d never learned to stop longing for things he couldn’t have, and all he could think about was the precious boy just beyond his grasp and the beloved daughter whose whole life he’d missed.

He didn’t move from that spot until Chicharrón found him, hours or days or eternities later.

(tbc)

How can I not love you? What do I tell my heart? When do I not want you Here in my arms? How does one waltz away From all of the memories? How do I not miss you When you are gone?

How can I not love you When you are gone?

— Joy Enriquez, “How Can I Not Love You” (Anna and the King)

I know it’s a romantic song, but it has the right sentiment.

Partial inspiration for the bone break comes from @im-fairly-whitty and This Post. (I hope you don’t mind, Wit! I thought “Hey wouldn’t this be dramatic?” and then remembered “Didn’t someone already do this?“)

Imelda didn’t give Miguel the best of first impressions in the film canon, either. (He tried to escape her then, too.)

This chapter was just plain hard to write.

#on the sad train again #it was bound to happen #these poor boys just want to hug #coco fanfic #Coco Art #coco spoilers #xolo dragged in AU

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andrewmoocow · 7 years ago

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Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 5: Enter Thanos (originally posted on February 5, 2018)

AN: And so, here we are everybody. The final chapter of the first part of what might be considered one of my magnum opuses. I’ve certainly had a blast writing this so here we go. Let the end of the cosmos begin.

“Anything yet guys?” Connie asked her fellow Crystal Avengers keeping an eye out for their friends. “Nothing yet Connie!” Wasp called from high above as she searched the skies with Lapis and Vision. “I can confirm, our companions haven’t returned yet.” the synthezoid added. “Way to state the obvious Vis.” Lapis replied.

“You were right girl, this town’s food is amazing!” Wolverine exclaimed holding a few fry bits on one of his claws like a kebab. “Never really expected you of all people to act like this Wolvie. But then again, I’m a guy who was bitten by a radioactive spider hanging out in a town protected by magical rock people.” Spider-Man said. “Hey guys, I think we can see something!” Peridot shouted pointing at a strange dark shape in the sky. “You think it could be?”

“Steven!” they all cried out as the shape came into view, revealing itself to be the spaceship belonging to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Landing on the sand, the Crystal Gems, Avengers and Guardians emerged looking very damaged from their fight with Mephisto, both physically and emotionally. The moment Steven’s foot touched the grainy surface below him for the first time in a long while, he was greeted by Connie, Lapis and Peridot all hugging him. “Oh, hey guys.” he said rather flatly. “Steven, are you all right?” Peridot worried. “Pink boy not feeling good.” Hulk stated. “Pink boy’s friends should leave pink boy alone for a bit.”

“WHOA! Are you that Hulk creature the mutant talked about?!” the little green Gem gasped in amazement. “I totally won that fight!” Logan shouted hotly. “Yes, yes I am.” the strongest there is confirmed with a cocky grin before regressing himself back to Bruce Banner. “And I’m also a genius scientist to boot.”

“He-hey, P-dot, Tidal!” Rocket shouted fistbumping Peridot before Groot came in and hugged the three incredibly tight. “I am Groot!” the flora colossus cried shaking them in his wooden arms. The mood suddenly lightened up and everyone was cheerfully meeting each other once again. All except Thor. He was still mulling over their recent fight with the demon prince, about how he was now working for Thanos and had known about the Mind Stone. The stress proved far too great on the thunder god before he interrupted the camaraderie with a loud yell of “THANOS IS COMING!”

The scene went deadly quiet once more as they all turned to the prince of Asgard. “I-is something wrong Thor?” Spidey wondered. “Didn’t you hear me, Thanos has five Infinity Stones and is coming here to Earth for the Mind Stone!” Thor explained pointing his hammer to the ground for added emphasis. The group were stunned at the god’s explanation, Lapis especially as she simply mumbled under her breath, “Thanos.”

“What shall we do?” Doctor Strange wondered. “I say we all stay here and take him on ourselves!” Nebula declared. “That madman has gone on far enough and mark my words, he will pay!” she snarled. “Hey, chill out Nebula! We can’t go too far ahead!” Steven exclaimed trying to calm her down. “Steven’s right, we must evacuate this town so that Thanos can’t hurt any of its people.” Cap stated. “I’m going to need someone to warn the mayor of the invasion and organize an escape route somewhere far away from here.”

“I’ll go. I came here before all of you on some business of my own, so it makes sense that I tell ‘em.” Iron Man stated flying off toward Beach City. “Right. Peter, Hank Janet, you lead the townspeople out of here. Carol, T'Challa, Strange, you’re staying with us. And the rest of you return to base.” Steve commanded. “Wait, we have to leave?! But why?” Wolverine complained. “Because we won’t be important to the story from here on out.” She-Hulk answered. “Okay then.”

Flying above the small town, the Armored Avenger landed in front of city hall and shed his metallic suit to keep up appearances. “I’m here to see the mayor of this town!” he announced shoving open the doors. “Mister, we know you have important business but can you not open the doors like that?!” one of the secret service agents present said cornering him. “Stand down boys, he obviously wants to see me.” a short, elderly woman in a green suit stated making herself known. “Mayor Nanefua Pizza Mr. Stark, at your service.”

“Tony Stark madame mayor.” Stark greeted the mayor. “Listen, my teammates and I compel you to organize an evacuation plan for a giant purple spaceman with a golden baseball glove is coming down to kill us all!” he urged. “Wow, that is certainly pretty crazy Mr. Stark, but I’ll be sure to get on it!”

Within a few hours, Beach City was nearly empty, its civilians already preparing to leave. “Keep it going everyone, Thanos should be arriving soon so you should all try not to die!” Hawkeye said leading them all away. “So let me guess this straight, some moonman is coming for Earth because he wants some priceless jewels to conquer the galaxy?” Lars Barriga exclaimed as his parents tried to insert the Off Colors into a large moving truck. “Basically, yes!” Steven reiterated the pink teen’s statement. “And if we don’t stop him-”

“Then the universe is seriously janked.” Garnet finished for him. “Seriously Garnet, we need to make you eat soap at this point!” Amethyst said. “Y'know, when I came back to Earth after you & Connie had that space adventure, I did not expect this!” Lars said. “But then again, I died and came back to life on an alien planet, so what do I have to say?”

“Yeah speaking of which, are you sure you’re that donut boy Groot met when we first came here?” Rocket said. “Y'know, come to think of it you do seem familiar.” the former donut boy stated looking at Groot. “I am Groot.” the tree alien said. “I am Lars.”

“Okay, let’s stop this before it gets too far again.” Rocket said breaking the two up. “Now then, since everybody’s leaving, I think you and Connie should come with them.” he said to Steven. “What, but why?!” the boy cried.

“It’s for your own safety Steven.” Pearl stated. “We know you and Connie are both fairly powerful on your own, but Thanos is another five levels once he gets all the Infinity Stones!” she fretted. “They’re all right Steven, who knows what this Thanos guy can do.” Connie affirmed. “Indeed, he could wipe out half of all life in the universe with just a snap of his fingers!” Thor added. “And the same goes for you Lapis and Peridot.”

“Us too? But we can fight!” Peridot protested. “I’ve been watching a few old kung-fu movies and actually picked up some moves along the way!” She then began demonstrating said moves to the heroes, despite being rather clumsy in doing so and capping off with a crane stance.

“I admire both your spirit, and your budding martial arts skills, but I fear whatever powers you have won’t be enough against a cosmic warlord bent on dominating all creation.” Cap stated. “The captain is right guys, Thanos is not one to be messed with.” Lapis stated putting a hand on her barn mate’s shoulder. “I should know because I-” She immediately stopped herself from speaking any longer. “Goodbye.” Picking up Peridot and Pumpkin, Lapis sprouted her wings and soared away from Beach City.

“What’s her problem? She looked like she was gonna say she knows Thanos or something.” Star-Lord quipped. “That doesn’t matter, we should get you two to your parents post-haste kids.” Iron Man finally stated. “We are truly sorry Steven, but it’s for your own good.” Pearl said before hugging her young ward and the other Crystal Gems joined in. “We’ll stop Thanos and bring everyone home.” Garnet stated. “Yeah, we’re gonna kick his ass!” Amethyst exclaimed.

“Well, guess this is goodbye everyone. Good luck.” Connie said before finally being led away by Stark.

“Okay gang, everybody’s not present and accounted for.” Yondu confirmed gazing upon the deserted town. “In fact, why do they call it Beach City when the number of people living here doesn’t make it a city?!”

“Same reason why evil threatens the universe.” Clint answered. “Now come on, we gotta prep for Thanos.” He led the space pirate back to the temple where the others would be waiting for them. “How’s everything?” Natasha asked. “All cleared out babe, not a soul in sight.” her archer partner stated. “I sincerely hope Steven is all right. This reminds me of when Jasper invaded and he fled with the rest of the citizens.” Pearl said. “At least he has one of your own to watch over him.”

“Uh guys, I hate to break up the ambiance,” Rocket stuttered in fear. “but I think that giant spaceship about to land in front of us may belong to a certain someone.” The heroes all raced outside to discover a titanic aircraft easily dwarfing Beach City in size right over their heads. They immediately knew who this ship belonged to as they all prepared for battle. “It is time.” Black Panther declared.

Meanwhile in a highway far from town, the citizens of the coastline village were busy making their escape from the wrath of the Mad Titan. All it took was one look at his warship from the rear-view mirror for Greg to get a good idea of what his late wife’s companions were up against this time. “Sheesh, whoever this Thanos guy is sure doesn’t mess around!”

His son however was relatively quiet the entire drive. He was too busy musing over their encounter with Mephisto during their space adventure. According to him, he had been involved in the Rebellion as well. But who did he fight for? He most certainly wouldn’t side with Rose but he’s not sure if the Diamonds would be that comfortable with him. Would that mean Thanos had his part to play in it. After a few minutes of contemplation, Greg broke the silence. “Anything all right Schtu-ball?”

“I’m fine Dad, I’ve just been thinking lately.” Steven replied. “Did Mom ever tell you about anything related to the Infinity Stones?” he asked his father. “No, as usual. In fact, unlike all the other messy stuff of that war, she must really want to keep that under wraps.” Greg answered. “But whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” he assured his son. “Yeah but I’ve heard Thanos can destroy anyone given the chance, the Gems have a good reason for making me flee again! Hopefully there’s someone that can help me out here.”

“Did someone call for some emotional support?!” Spider-Man suddenly exclaimed peeping into the front window of Greg’s van. The two were immediately startled and nearly swerved into another car before regaining their composure. “Oh, you must be that spider guy.” Greg stated. “What was your name again? Scarlet Arachnid, Spinneret, Silk, Web Boy…”

“Spider-Man, thank you very much.” the spectacular webslinger corrected the former rock star. “Now as I was saying, did someone call for some emotional support?” he asked cheerfully. “I did!” Steven shouted raising his hand. “I can stop so you can get in if you want sir.” Greg offered. “Sure thing, but I prefer to web-swing.”

Latching onto the roof of another car, Peter used his web-shooters to pull open the back door and jumped right in, closing behind him. “And he sticks the landing!” he shouted before imitating a crowd cheering for him. “Yeah, whoo, go Spider-Man, do a flip!” Greg just chuckled still keeping his eyes on the road. “Wow Spidey, that was really cool!” Steven exclaimed. “Makes me wish I was as cool as you.”

“Aw don’t say that. You’re pretty cool the way you are.” Peter said taking off his mask to wipe himself off after the earlier landing. “I mean c'mon, you’re the son of an alien warrior lady who helped protect the Earth thousands of years ago! You still got a lot to learn kid. After all, with great power comes great responsibility.”

“Where did you learn that?” the boy wondered. “Someone important to me that I lost too, just like the Gems.” Spidey answered thinking back to his beloved late Uncle Ben. “So what do you say kid, wanna save the world?” he offered reaching his hand out. “Sure!”

“Now hold on just a second!” Ant-Man suddenly appeared in front of the two young men. “Steven, I know you have a legacy to uphold, but Thanos is just an absolute beast! With all six Infinity Stones, he could practically become God!” the scientist cautioned Steven.

“Oh lighten up Hank, he just wants to help.” Wasp stated growing into view as well. “How many more unexpected passengers can I get! Who’s next, Ghost Rider?” Greg joked. He then finally stopped the van and got out with the three heroes & his son, whom he hugged goodbye. “Be careful out there little guy, we’re all counting on you.”

“I’ll be okay Dad. I love you.” Steven said his farewells before jumping up on the arachnid Avenger’s back. “You ready kid?” he asked his young fan. “Wait, we should make a quick stop first. I know a few others who need a pep talk.” He turned on a GPS on his phone and began scoping the countryside scene before pointing to a building in this distance. “Let’s swing thataway!” he ordered. “Roger roger squirt!”

The two swung off into the distance leaving the winsomely astonishing duo and the car wash owner behind. “Steven is right, those Gems aren’t going to last long without a leader.” Pym declared shrinking down and hopping on the back of a winged ant. “Right, let’s fly!” Jan replied miniaturizing as well and chasing her husband.

The hour has finally come.

Thanos has arrived.

The Avengers, Crystal Gems and Guardians of the Galaxy stood their ground before the spaceship, preparing for whatever threat would come their way. The bay door opened revealing not the Mad Titan, but instead his minions the Black Order.

At the very center was their leader Corvus Glaive, a grey-skinned alien dressed in all black and carrying his namesake weapon. By his side was Proxima Midnight, a beautiful blue-tinted woman bearing a golden trident.

Behind them were Ebony Maw, a rather wormy looking fellow with a silver tongue, Black Dwarf, the brute of the team who’s size & strength could compare with the Hulk’s and finally Supergiant, a deranged wraith who can control gravity. The five aliens looked down upon their opponents with cocky grins decorating their features until Corvus finally spoke. “Well, it seems these Avengers have made some new allies.” he declared. “Quite familiar looking ones in fact.”

“Yes indeed, it’s been quite a while since we heard from the Crystal Gems. I was convinced they were all shattered or corrupted.” Ebony added. “Can’t wait to finish what the Diamonds tried to start.” Dwarf threatened bearing both his axe and his mace.

The heroes simply glared furiously at the Order, giving no answer to their boasting. “What is the matter? No words, just going to skip straight to the action?” Proxima wondered. Just then, Garnet finally spoke up. “Leave this planet immediately Black Order, and tell Thanos we’re waiting for him!”

“About time, all this abuse of the silent treatment was getting me bored!” Supergiant exclaimed with a sadistic grin. “Now then, let us get started!” She telekinetically summoned a legion of four-armed reptilian beasts that towered over the group, snarling at them. “Outriders!” Captain America exclaimed. “Get ready everyone, we’re in for the fight of our lives.”

The ultimate battle for the fate of Earth has finally begun. If the alliance between the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the Crystal Gems and the lovable a-holes claimed victory, peace would return and the Infinity Stones would be left untouched by evil once more. But if Thanos won, it would mean the end of the universe.

It was a quiet night at the barn that Lapis Lazuli and Peridot had called their home away from Homeworld. It was originally the Crystal Gems’ base of operations while dealing with the Cluster and since became a new living space for the two Gems.

However, ever since Lapis had returned to Earth after fleeing to avoid another Gem war, things had become a bit different. Like for example, Peridot currently laid on a hay bale reminiscing about the Crystal Temps’ battle with the leader of AIM known as MODOK, his speech about she was there to provide comic relief instead of being useful to the Crystal Gems continuing to echo through her head.

“Well it’s because despite being a member of the Crystal Gems, you are pretty much useless to them! Only being there to provide comic relief. Join me and I shall help you learn your true potential!” he spoke in her thoughts. Looking once again at her miniscule form in a mirror, she sighed miserably and grumbled to herself. “Guess he was right. I really am useless to them.”

“Is something wrong Peri?” Lapis wondered flying to her side with Pumpkin in her arms. “It’s just that that Mo-whatever guy told me about how useless I was to Steven and the Gems. Now that we’ve been ordered to stay at the barn while they fight that Thanos guy, it makes me think that we really are there to provide comic relief.” the little green technician moped before her blue roommate got down on her knees and hugged her. “It’s okay Peridot, you aren’t useless. I mean, you helped save the Earth and got me adjusted to it! What matters now is that we should just wait until the time is right for us to become full on Crystal Gems.”

“And I seriously can’t wait for that day!” Steven called as Spider-Man touched down in front of the barn with Ant-Man and Wasp following behind. “Hey girls, how’s it hanging?” the web-slinger greeted them. “Is this really your home because I kind of expected something a bit more futuristic.”

“Oh it is alright spider-friend. This barn may have termites and a large crack in the ground, but it’s the best we can get!” Peridot beamed at the young man. “We usually spend our days here making meep morps, or what you humans might call art, and watching Camp Pining Hearts.” Lapis added. “Camp Pining Hearts? My Aunt May and I love that show!” Peter exclaimed. “Except for season 5.”

“I know, right!” Steven & Peridot exclaimed in unison before laughing. “I know all of us here are fans of that show, but let’s get to the important topic here: saving the world.” Hank stated. “Yeah, if we don’t race to Beach City soon, Thanos could kill us all!” Jan added, much to the barn Gems’ shock. “Wait, we’re actually going to fight him?!” Lapis yelled. “But that could lead to another war, and I don’t want to get involved in one.”

“C'mon Lapis, we have to do this together! Steven and the Gems need us!” Peridot tried to convince her to change her mind about battling the conqueror. “Earth is our home now. Isn’t it worth fighting for?” It took some time for the ocean Gem to think about this. On one hand, Thanos is indeed a force to be reckoned with and could certainly annihilate them if they’re not careful. But on the other hand, he could destroy the planet that they’ve decided to call home. She finally turned around and made her decision. “I’ll fight.”

“Great, now let’s head back to the town and help the others!” Hank declared mounting his winged ant again. “Wait, first I gotta make a call.” Steven decided pulling out his phone to talk to Connie.

“Hey Steven, are you somewhere safe yet?” she asked. “That’s why I called you Con. I’m gonna fight Thanos.” he declared. “What? Hold on, maybe I can get my parents to drive me to your location! Where are you?” Connie cried. “No, I don’t want you getting involved. You may be pretty powerful on your own, but deep down you’re just a human. I’m so sorry.” Steven began to cry as he hanged up on his best friend.

“It’s okay Steven, you’re doing the right thing just like what your mom would’ve done.” Peter dried his tears. “Thanks Spidey, let’s go.” Steven got up on the teen hero’s back again and left the barn, this time with Lapis and Peridot by their side. Pumpkin was left behind, but little did the vegetable canine know its home was in serious peril as a portal opened behind the barn.

“It seems you’ve gotten weaker since we’ve last met Garnet.” Corvus declared pinning the fusion to the ground with his glaive while the Outriders outmatched the others. “Guess without your beloved savior to guide you, you’ve also become more foolish.”

“We may not have Rose Quartz around, but we’re still capable of defending Earth!” Garnet declared gripping the blade and tossing Glaive into the sand. “Nice going there Garnet, keep him down!” Rocket cheered dismembering a few Outrider arms. “At this rate, we shall emerge victorious!” T'Challa boasted. “Is that so king of Wakanda?”

A new individual has shown himself, this time being the man himself. The Mad Titan, the nihilistic would-be significant other of Death. His purple skin, furrowed chin, blue & gold armor and his piercing red eyes looking down upon them as he sat in his throne were unmistakably recognizable.

Thanos.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he wondered in a mocking tone raising his left hand to reveal none other than the infamous Infinity Gauntlet, containing five of the Infinity Stones. “Thanos!” Pearl cried readying her spear.

“The Crystal Gems. We meet again at last.” Thanos stated descending from his throne with both his arms out, almost like some holy figure. Touching down on the sand beneath them, he took a moment to examine the carnage that once was his army of Outriders. “And it seems not much has changed about you since the Rebellion. Now who do I destroy first?”

He prepared an energy blast from his left hand and aimed it at each of the heroes, deciding on which one of them to eliminate. “How about you be the first to die my dear Garnet?” Thanos threatened before suddenly, his face was suddenly covered in spider webs. “WHAT?!” he shouted tearing the silk off his face. “Ain’t nobody going to die here Thanos!” Steven cried as he, Spider-Man, Lapis, Peridot, Ant-Man and the Wasp charged into battle. “Ah, the cannon fodder has arrived.” the Mad Titan smirked. “I do love a moving target.”

“Wait milord!” Ebony Maw halted his master before he could do any more harm. “I must ask you, does that terraformer with them seem familiar to you?” he asked. “Now that you think about it, she does look like the one deployed during the Rebellion.” Thanos stated, much to the shock of the other heroes. “Greetings wayward Lazuli of Blue Diamond.”

“Wait, you know Thanos?!” Steven gasped as the ragtag group touched down next to their compatriots. “Yes indeed small child, my minions remember her quite fondly, Ebony and Dwarf especially.” Thanos answered. “It’s true, I have met them when I was sent to Earth.” Lapis began to reminisce on that fateful day.

The Rebellion was in full swing when Lapis Lazuli, a terraformer sent by Blue Diamond to form new Kindergartens on Earth, was thrust in the middle of it. She tried her best to avoid the carnage, the Gem shards raining everywhere and the soldiers fighting for their lives until she found a safe spot behind a lone tree.

She figured she would stay there until most of the fighting stopped until she bumped into a monster that towered over her. A monster with orange reptilian skin, empty yellow eyes, a mouth full of sharp fangs and dual-wielding both a stone mace & an axe.

“Where are you going puny water witch?” he snarled, causing her to back away into another being with grey skin, chalk white hair, ornate black & white robes with gold trim and devilish blue eyes that had a faint glow in them. “Are you lost little one, afraid perhaps?” this other creature purred. “I’m not lost, I was only supposed to make a quick visit before all this happened!” Lapis cried not being able to comprehend her current situation. “Who even are you two anyway?!”

“Ah yes, apologies for being so uncouth.” the grey alien bowed gracefully toward the ocean Gem. “I am Ebony Maw of the Black Order, and this is my companion Black Dwarf.” he, now calling himself Ebony Maw, introduced himself and the larger alien. “We are fighting in this war for our lord and master Thanos, who wishes to destroy both the Great Diamond Authority & the rebels led by Rose Quartz to conquer all that lives in this universe.” Black Dwarf stated. “See that shadow over there, that is he.”

He pointed toward their master in the distance, laughing maniacally as he ended the lives of all Gems, Crystal and Homeworld alike, that dared challenge him. The only one that was able to match the Mad Titan were a Rose Quartz and her terrifying Pearl. “Is that really your master?!” Lapis gasped as she watched the pink warrior face Thanos in battle. “Indeed he is terraformer.” Ebony commented silently rooting for his boss. “Speaking of which, do you ever feel like you feel dissatisfied with your current position?”

“What?! No, as a high-ranking member of Blue Diamond’s court I’m basically treated like royalty! I’m like my Diamond’s princess!” Lapis shouted trying to escape from the two.

“But that’s the thing, when all Gems are born they are ordered to do one meaningless task for the rest of their days. Does that seem boring to you?” Maw wondered getting uncomfortably close to her. “Yes, when working under Thanos we get to murder who we want, how we want and when we want!” Dwarf added with a bloodthirsty grin. “So what do you say little Lazuli, are you ready to earn your freedom?”

Lapis was now faced with a rather hefty offer. If she joined this Thanos they spoke so highly of, she could live her own free life and do whatever she should, but if she didn’t she would be as good as dead. But looking at Thanos, she would rather be shattered than join such a psychopath. Finally, with her eyes darkened, she made her decision. “I choose…” she began. “TO DIE!”

“I thought you would say that.” Ebony Maw stated motioning his bodyguard to his side with a snap of his fingers. “Black Dwarf, shatter her.” he commanded. “With pleasure.” Black Dwarf accepted preparing his weapons. He barreled toward the terraformer preparing to strike before she smacked him silly with a pair of water fists around her arms. “Leave me alone!” she screamed fighting back.

The two proceeded to duke it out while Ebony calmly spectated. Black Dwarf nearly came close to shattering Lapis and vice versa with Lapis against Dwarf. Eventually she dealt the finishing blow with a tsunami that washed the alien away as he vowed revenge. “Very well then. We shall meet again someday Lapis Lazuli, and then you will join us.” the minion of Thanos gave one last warning before retreating into a portal.

Lapis took a deep breath of relief after the fact. With that, she could be able to fly away from this planet as fast as she can before she felt a sudden sharp pain in her back as a Bismuth punched her in the gemstone. She had no time to react before her physical form fell apart and retreated back into her gem.

“So that’s why you shut your trap when talking about him.” Rocket said. “Guess I was right!” Star-Lord replied. “Looking back on the old days is fine and all, but we still got Thanos to deal with!” Captain Marvel exclaimed. “Exactly Captain, I am just eager to finally settle the score!” Ebony shouted giddily. “Dwarf, finish her off.”

“With pleasure Maw.” Dwarf snarled before charging at the alliance. They all prepared for an awesome showdown before charging into battle. Thanos just stood there and watched as his Black Order took on the accursed rebels and their allies. Captain America & Garnet teamed up against Corvus and Proxima while Pearl & Thor handled Ebony & Supergiant and Lapis contended with Black Dwarf. The rest all took on more Outriders summoned to fight.

“For Beach City, for Midgard!” Thor roared tossing his mighty hammer at Supergiant, who swiftly dodged it. “You missed Thor!” Pearl shouted. “Did I?” the future king of Asgard grinned reaching out for his trusted weapon. When it finally returned to him, it smacked the wraith square in the back of her head in its path. “You may be a god Odinson, but can you compare to a servant of Thanos?” Maw bragged summoning a large boulder over him with telekinesis. He chucked it at the duo but then with the combined might of Asgard’s finest warrior and the Crystal Gem, it was reduced to gravel.

“I have always wanted to fight such a stable fusion.” Proxima said clashing with Garnet. “Reminds me of the love between my dear Corvus and I.” she added gazing lovingly at her husband as he jabbed at Cap’s shield. “Wait, you two are in love?!” the fusion exclaimed trying to punch her in the face. “No you fool, we are married!”

“I would say congratulations, but you need to leave!” Garnet shouted landing a punch on Midnight’s midsection. “You wouldn’t understand fusion!” the female minion of Thanos shouted stabbing her opponent in the face with her trident, which caused her to defuse into Ruby and Sapphire. “What?!”

“We’re not just a fusion Proxima.” Sapphire declared creating a spear out of ice. “We are a conversation!” Ruby finished for her lover summoning her gauntlet. The two small Gems charged at the taller blue woman while Corvus continued fighting Cap.

“Why do you keep resisting fool? Don’t you see our master will destroy you once he obtains all six Infinity Stones again?!” he cried managing to produce a few dents in his shield. “Because we’ve beat him before and we’ll beat him again!” Steve declared tossing his shield and knocking out a few Outriders for Amethyst & Mantis before returning to his side.

Black Dwarf meanwhile was evenly matched with Lapis. Normally, he would’ve fought evenly with a Gem like Garnet, Rose, Bismuth or Jasper but Lapis was different. They were on a planet that was mostly water, her main element. She was basically on par with him here, but maybe if he could throw her off somehow. “The offer still stands terraformer, join us or face oblivion!” he boomed trying in vain to hit her with his mace. “No, I’ve chosen to defend Earth from the likes of you! You can shatter me all you want, but you’ll never take my freedom!” Lapis declared.

“That’s my girl!” Peridot cried as she rode on Hulk’s back while he plowed through Outriders. “Thanks Peri.” Lapis wistfully said turning to her best friend before being knocked face-first on the ground. “Well then, oblivion it is girl.” Dwarf snarled as he slammed his axe on her gem, cracking it. This in turn turned Lapis’s colors a darker shade of blue and her eyes glassy, almost mirror-like. “Oh no, not again!”

“Lapis!” Steven cried trying to save his friend. “Do not cry for her boy, she will perish just like all the Gems in the rebellion before her!” the brute shouted driving his weapon deeper, making her scream in pain. “That’s right! LOUDER!” he exclaimed, finding joy in her struggling. If his axe were to go any deeper, Lapis would be shattered right then and there. She couldn’t take this. She was powerless once more, facing the possibility of death and began to sob as he continued striking at the crack.

“You leave her alone you giant clod!” Peridot screamed using her ferrokinesis to grab Dwarf by his axe and toss him into a group of Outriders.

“Whoo, that’s my Kindergartener!” Amethyst cheered for her fellow shorty. “Yes, she is quite powerful!” Mantis added clapping before she was suddenly cornered by a very angry Black Dwarf. “Hey, leave my homegirls alone you big lizard!” the defective Quartz exclaimed grabbing him by the neck with her whips and tossing him around. “And I thought Thanos trained you better than that.”

“You ignorant worm! I shall grind you into dust!” Black Dwarf was at his breaking point, ready to destroy anything that dared cross him until his comrade Corvus stopped him. “Savor your strength brother, they are not worth our time anymore.” he stated. “Right, maybe we should let Master Thanos obliterate them.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Thanos added preparing for battle. He raised his gauntlet-clad hand once again with an air of superiority surrounding him. “You leave them alone!” Steven shouted summoning his shield before he was punched aside. “No boy, this is between me and the rebels.” the Titan stated marching towards the Gems. Pearl was the first to stand up to him as she clashed her spear with his finger. “I remember fighting you in the Rebellion Thanos! Destroying thousands of Gems all for the sake of Lady Death was just utterly heartless!”

“That reminds me Pearl, how’s Rose doing?” the conqueror asked her with a manic smirk. “Well she uh, uh.” the lost defective Pearl began to stutter before she finally gave her answer. “She died to give birth to a child, whom was the one you punched.” she said gazing at Steven as he healed Lapis off to the side. “And are you still in love with her?” Thanos added. “Yes, but I’m trying to move on from-”

“I’ve heard enough. To be a great defender, you must let go of past mistakes and look to the future, but I believe you prefer to stay in the past with your beloved.” the destroyer insulted her. “Well you shouldn’t be saying that Mr. 'In Love with a Cosmic Deity That Isn’t Interested’!” Pearl shouted before she was grabbed by the torso and thrown away. “That is where you belong Pearl, thrown away like a forgotten toy! Perhaps that’s why you abandoned your Diamond.”

Then Amethyst attempted to fight him, strangling him with her weapon. “My my, is that an Amethyst I see?” he wondered. “Excuse me little one, I want to see Amethyst.” Amethyst was understandably enraged by his insult and pulled him down to the ground with a scream. “Don’t call me little like that ever! Ya hear me?!” she shouted turning into her Purple Puma form, jumping into the air and smacking him with an elbow attack before he grabbed her arm and tossed her to his feet. “I expected better from a Kindergarten.”

“That is enough Thanos!” Doctor Strange unleashed a barrier around the hybrid alien. “Doctor Strange, how good to see you again. For the last time.” Thanos boasted. “Garnet, now!” the Sorcerer Supreme commanded the newly refused Garnet as she charged toward the Titanian and kicked him right in the jaw.

“Leave my comrades alone Thanos or face my wrath!” she declared preparing to launch her gauntlets like rockets at him. “And what would your "wrath” be? Just standing around and doing nothing while your teammates get up to nonsense chicanery?“

Garnet immediately ceased fire to comprehend Thanos’s words, when suddenly Hulk, Thor, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Ant-Man, Wasp, Spider-Man, Star-Lord, Drax and Groot attacked the Titan all at once. "PURPLE MAN HURT PINK BOY AND FRIENDS! HULK RIP OFF PURPLE MAN’S HEAD!” Hulk screamed. “Your days end here monster!” Hank shouted about to perform a flying kick before the Titan just mock-yawned and blasted them all away.

Then both Gamora & Nebula tried to fight him. “We’ve lived with your abuse for far too long!” Nebula screamed trying to stab her adoptive father before she was grabbed by the head and knocked out cold. “Take her away.” he simply commanded a lone Outrider who grabbed the Luphomoid’s unconscious form and scampered away, leaving the others crying her name.

“Get a load of this big guy!” Rocket roared while he and Yondu fired multiple arrows that simply failed to hit him not even once. “Are you all done yet?” was the flattest response Thanos could muster with a seriously bored expression on his face.

“We’re not done!” Peridot & Lapis cried out in unison preparing to stop him. “Oh look, the comic relief has arrived.” Thanos said turning to the barn mates. “You too Thanos?!” Lapis exclaimed incredulously preparing a tidal wave to wash him away. “Yeah, we’re Crystal Gems too!” Peridot added snatching Corvus Glaive’s weapon from his hands and took up arms. “If you claim to be Crystal Gems, then where are your stars?” He pointed straight at Peridot’s chest where that diamond symbol still hanged. “I-I’ll get mine soon, I’m just really hard to poof!”

“If these failures refuse to give you one, then maybe I can bestow it myself.” Thanos stated gesturing towards their fellow Gems as they struggled to get up before raising his left hand, preparing to destroy her and Lapis. Pretty much every one of the heroes was down for the count all except for two people: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. “There’s only one way out of this.” Stark glowered at the Mad Titan behind his back before calling for Jarvis. “Jarvis?”

“Yes Mr. Stark?” Jarvis asked, ready to accept whatever command he was given. “Bring in Veronica.” Tony ordered. “Are you truly sure sir? After the last time you used it, it’s still in need of repairs.” the AI tried to advise against it. “I don’t care, we need to stop him!” Tony shouted. “All right then. Sending in Veronica.”

High above the battleground, a jet launched a crate with the Stark Industries name on it and crashed down right on top of Tony. The crate broke apart to reveal a large Iron Man armor as tall as Dr. Banner’s mutated half. This was Mark XLIV, the Hulkbuster.

“This is where we finish this Thanos.” Iron Man declared as Cap and the Hulkbuster charged toward him, ready to just end it all. “No, this is where I finish you.” Thanos heartlessly tore the Hulkbuster armor apart and pushed Tony away while Steve stumbled back.

It was over.

Thanos had won.

“Now all I need is the Mind Stone to become omnipotent.” he stated. That was when he heard the Captain begin to chuckle, followed by a light snicker and then finally a loud laugh for everyone to hear. “Cap!” Steven cheered rushing to his idol’s side.

“Why are you laughing?! You’ve lost!” Thanos wondered out loud. “It’s because we may have lost against you many times before Thanos, but we’ll always come out on top no matter what.” Rogers declared smirking. “And as long as one man stands against you, you will never claim victory.”

“My mom saw the beauty in everything. But I’m sure she didn’t see it in you.” Steven added with a determined glare. “Such noble sentiments from two mortals who are about to die.” Thanos declared preparing once more for battle. This was it, the final epic battle for the Infinity Stones and the fate of all that lives within the universe. The half-human son of Rose Quartz and the First Avenger against the almost all-powerful Mad Titan.

Thanos made his first move, pounding the sand beneath them with his fist to blind the two and firing an energy blast from his hands. “Out of the way!” Steven cried and the two dodged it. “Good maneuvers there kid!” the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan commended his young fan’s brilliance. The boy had no time to geek out over this as Thanos prepared to fire from a large rifle.

“Stasis gun!” Rogers exclaimed before Steven pulled out his shield to block the blast. “The shield of that accursed Rose Quartz! Then that must mean-” Thanos realized. “You must be her son.”

“I know, but I’m not like her! My mom may have done some bad things in the past, but I’m gonna make up for them!” Steven proclaimed. “Typical Rose Quartz, always using others to further her own goals like the fool she is.” the Mad Titan sarcastically lamented. “No, you’re the fool here for claiming you can just win all over again!” Cap declared fiercely. Thanos felt something snap in him, as if a small string finally gave way. He did not like how this puny human had just insulted him and gotten off scott free.

Without even the slightest of hesitation, Thanos ripped Captain America’s shield from his hands, broke it in two, stabbed him with both halves and shoved him into the cliffside, knocking him unconscious.

“STEVE!” they all cried out for their friend, terrified at what Thanos has done. “That could happen to the rest of you if I am disrespected any further.” the Titan declared. “Now hand over the Mind Stone or this planet shall become a forgotten memory.”

“Just let him have it Steven, we just can’t take it anymore.” Pearl finally resigned as the Crystal Gems felt utterly defeated despite their efforts. “You can take the Mind Stone, just please don’t hurt any of my friends or this planet.” Steven begged Thanos. “Hm, I shall give you this. You know how to put the needs of others before yours.” the villain complimented him. “Go, retrieve your stone. And I solemnly swear your planet shall remain living.”

“Come on everyone. For Earth.” Garnet declared getting up and leading the other Gems to the Burning Room. Opening the door, they walked inside and Steven jumped up to retrieve the Infinity Stone in its bubble. The rebels took one long last look at the artifact, still glimmering within its bubble before taking back outside where Thanos was waiting, eagerly anticipating the final stone.

“Here it is Thanos, the Mind Stone.” Steven popped the bubble and held out the stone for Thanos to take. “Thank you very much boy.” he thanked the child taking it out of his mitts and finally inserting it into the Gauntlet.

It was all over, the Gauntlet was complete and Thanos has now become a god. With just a wave of his hand, entire galaxies could tremble at his feet or he could destroy the entire universe and remake it in his image. But as for now, he will just relish in this victory over the incompetent rebels Rose left behind.

“I shall have you know son of Rose, or Steven Universe as they refer to you, that from now on my reign of terror shall be blamed on you and your planet. What’s left of the universe shall desire to carve out your heart and sacrifice it to me as their new god.” Thanos boomed one last time. “Even centuries from now when your pitiful Crystal Gems fade into the wind, they will tell stories of how one little boy has doomed them all.”

“I don’t care, you promise that Earth will live, right?” Steven wept before sobbing in Garnet’s arms. “Indeed child, Earth will be spared from my wrath. For now.” He then turned back to his intimidating vessel. “My Black Order, return to my side! It is time to lay siege to a certain empire.” His loyal minions did as they were told as they wearily stood up and returned to their lord’s aide before entering the ship.

Thanos simply looked back at the Gems with an arrogant sneer before the spaceship’s entrance finally closed and it took off, leaving Earth behind. “Now then, let’s see how Rogers is doing.” Pearl stated blankly walking over to the others, in which Tony, Hank and Strange checking his vitals. “Anything Tony?” she asked. “He’s all right, just knocked unconscious and in critical condition. But we don’t know if he’s going to make it out okay.”

“I-it’s okay guys! Superheroes die and come back a lot! He’s gonna come back eventually, right guys?!” Spider-Man tried to lighten their spirits in his usual manner, but to no avail. There was an air of dead silence in the area.

To the Avengers, they had lost a dear friend and a leader. To Lapis and Peridot, though they hadn’t known him long, they felt their pain. To the Guardians, they lost a trusted ally. But the Crystal Gems took it the hardest.

Garnet lost someone whom she could call an equal. Amethyst lost someone she could aspire to be like. Pearl lost the man whom she bonded with and was the closest to him out of all the Avengers. But to Steven, he lost his hero, his idol, the very super he looked up to. He had learned from him to stand up for what is right no matter the odds, to be with the ones you love til the end of the line, but most importantly to bring hope to even the darkest of times.

This time of mourning lasted throughout the night until the sun finally rose. Normally, the sun rising would mean new beginnings but for this despairing crew, it meant the beginning of the end.

“Guys?”

The Gem Homeworld. A sprawling utopia that has been the home of Gemkind for thousands of years, Ruled by the Great Diamond Authority, this planet has been at relative peace until they started running low on resources, in which they tried to resolve it by harvesting other planets to create new Gems.

But now, a certain tyrant has invaded with a score to settle with Homeworld’s monarchs and has decided to attract them by shattering every single Gem within his sights. All except one that managed to flee his rampage and make it her mission to warn her Diamond of his arrival.

A lone Citrine raced to a nearby communication port and punched in a special code to contact her Diamond, only to be met with her Pearl. “Welcome to the Diamond Line, what do you want?” Yellow Pearl snarked in a snooty tone of voice. “Listen, you have to connect me to Yellow Diamond! He’s finally come for us!” the Citrine warned much to the Pearl’s shock.

“Pearl, what is this about 'he’ returning?” a deep feminine voice wondered picking up the projector to reveal none other than Yellow Diamond. “My Diamond, I have terrible news! Thanos has returned, and he has all the Infinity Stones! You must contact the others and assemble every Gem you got to stop him! We need-”

Before Citrine could finish, the communicator was totaled by an energy blast from none other than Ebony Maw. “Well well, aren’t we a bit tenacious here?” he chided the soldier backing her into a corner and preparing an energy blast. “Savor your energy Ebony.” Thanos declared gently pushing his minion out of the way and forcing Citrine to the ground, aiming his foot at her hand where her gemstone was placed. “When you perish by my heel, tell your comrades in the next world I said hello.” And with that, he stomped Citrine’s gem, instantly shattering her.

“Thanos has returned?!” Blue Diamond screamed in horror as she and her sister raced to confront Thanos. “Yes, a Citrine soldier of mine warned me he would return someday.” Yellow commented. “Now where is White?!”

“Still can’t find her.” Blue moaned before they finally reached the Mad Titan, having already reduced their united army into five Rubies, an Aquamarine, a pair of Topazes and an Emerald fearing for their lives.

“This is all you have to offer now? I expected better from intergalactic warlords!” Thanos exclaimed crushing an inactive gemstone in his hand. “Thanos! What brings you back here you mongrel?!” Yellow Diamond roared preparing to strike him down. “Don’t do it my Diamond, Thanos is not to be messed with!” one of the Rubies begged her Diamond. “This Ruby is right Yellow, stand down or face my wrath.”

“Maybe we should just listen to his demands and maybe he’ll leave.” Blue Diamond suggested, to which her Pearl readily agreed. “Never! This Titan has disgraced us for far too long, and it’s time I get revenge for Pink!” Yellow screamed preparing to face off against Thanos before he raised the Gauntlet and said a single word. “KNEEL!”

Almost instantaneously, the two monarchs and their Pearls dropped to their knees before the Mad Titan. Just then, Mephisto materialized behind him. “Master, your new planet is almost ready. Your fleets have already prepared several worlds for you to terrorize.” the demon announced bowing.

“Excellent Mephisto.” Thanos thanked his servant before turning back to the Diamonds. “Perhaps if you hadn’t done nothing but sit around and mourn the demise of that brat rather than do as you were meant to do, then maybe things would’ve been different.”

“What is he implying?” Blue Pearl mumbled. “I am trying to say-” Thanos began before he stopped himself. “I shall work out the details later. But right now…” He turned away and stepped forward, gazing upon the sky of Homeworld and thinking about the various planets that he could conquer, all for his beloved. “He’s really going to do it.” Mephisto muttered almost fearfully as the others looked at Thanos gazing at something that clearly isn’t there.

But to Thanos, this was the form of his beloved Lady Death, standing there in front of him, her black robes hiding her wistful, neutral expression. Thanos grinned as he raised his hand skyward. Now that he was a god, what was his first act?

A single fingersnap.

To be continued in Steven Universe: Secret Wars

Part 2: Battleworld

Well that’s it everyone. The day has finally come. Let the universe howl in despair for Thanos has risen. Can the Crystal Gems and the Avengers find a way to stop him? Find out next time, coming soon.

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humans-are-seriously-weird · 7 years ago

Text

The Time I Almost Decapitated Someone While Trying To Surf

Brace for a whole lot of pain and stupidity. It starts off a little slow but stick around for the AHHHHHHH As some of you may know, i am an intense klutz. As in I-Will-Trip-Over-Absolutely-Nothing-And-Probs-Knock-Over-The-Crown-Jewels kind of klutz. A Would-Trip-And-Fall-Off-A-Cliff kind of klutz I really need to drive this point home ok this is v important to this story So this is back in Peru (yes the same trip the chicken chased me off a cliff). Work is over for the day, the sun is starting to set, and all 40 of us Canadians are headed to the beach for our very first surf lessons So we show up and our instructors hurl wetsuits at us. I do mean hurl like mine wrapped around my face like a squid i nearly died before i even hit the water smh We get separated into groups of five and head off with our instructors. All the other groups had these young Peruvian guys and girls, all smiles and gentle teachers My instructor was a cranky 80 year old who never spoke and stared at us until we figured out what we were supposed to do Before we even get to go near the beach we start learning the technique on land. We lay down on these fake boards and pretend paddle and pretend stand, all in complete silence because who needs words right Im at the point of assuming our instructor doesnt speak english, which is totes cool cause we’re getting the message anyways. We’d spent three days working around the language barrier, now was no different. Moving on Our instructor finally deems us worthy of hitting the water so we all gleefully make our way to the beach. We were all sunshine and laughter, expecting the warm sand between our toes Not happening The beach is not soft like we had thought. It was rocks. Thousands of rocks and pebbles that sent us skittering as we descended the steep incline to the water First off: No one told me how freaking exhausting this crap is All those movies of people surfing like haha look at me this is so easy and majestic be one with the waves dude were straight up liars ok i was panting and heaving like a 90 year old race horse by the time i made it out far enough to catch a wave Cue twenty frustrating minutes of trying and failing to paddle fast enough to stay on a wave I thought i looked like Dash Incredible, majesticly spearing across the water from a horde of bad guys, my arms windmilling at break neck speeds Yeah no I was more of a drowning sloth if im completely honest Id make it maybe two feet by the time one wave passed and the next was already approaching Here’s where my surfing attempt took an unexpected turn Water splashed behind me and i didnt bother turning around. Probably one of my classmates heading for a better wave area “Need some help?” The voice was definitely not my classmates My instructor sat casually on his board behind me I was so shocked to hear him speak that i just nodded dumbly, not aware of what i was agreeing to. He hops off his board and bobs in the water for a second. He casually puts on hand on the back of my board like he was keeping me from floating away Behind him a wave approaches. I lay back down and get ready to paddle. I figured maybe he’ll tell me when to start paddling so i can actually catch this one but the wave is getting closer and closer and there was still no word from him. I was long past when I started paddling before I hear this soft intake of breath and then, “BRACE!!!” I obey blindly and grip my board in terror wondering if there was a shark lurking beneath me Instead my 80 year old instructor absolutely freaking catapults me forwards i swear that man could launch Niel Armstrong into orbit single handedly NASA who??

Im rocketing along along, too stunned to move Im on a wave!! Im on a… wave????? I scramble to my feet thinking somebody better be seeing this cuz i will not be doing this again By some miracle i manage to stand ok i do not have great balance on land so sticking me on a board in the middle of the ocean was in no ones best interest So im whizzing along feeling like im flying and just generally trying not to face plant on my board or topple into the sea ok i just got up here no way i can manage it a second time Something about the water ahead of me doesnt look right The sun is glaring off the water just enough to block whatever that thing is. Im squinting, praying im not about to hit a rock It was so much worse It was a man He was casually chillin on his board, a set of headphones in his ears, looking to the world like he was asleep Im heading straight for this guy at top speed and as i get closer i realize two very important things I dont know how to stop … … Or turn I think of the wicked looking fins on the bottom of my board I remember mildly thinking this is gonna hurt before reality truly set in I very well might kill this man if i dont figure something out fast I start screaming and flailing with as much strength as i can muster “MOVE MOVE!!!! UNLESS YOU WANNA BE FILLET LIKE A FISH YOU GOT MOVE I CANT STOOOOOP” He casually lifts out one ear bud and looks at me with a barely audible “que?” “YOU GON DIE MOVE!!!!” Clearly he didn’t understand english, but flailing and screaming is pretty universal He leisurely lays back and paddles forewards, moving him ever so slightly out of the danger zone My board hits his as i pass so close i could have flicked his nose My board launches off his and by some miracle i manage to not only stay on it, but stay standing I twist and stare back at the man I definitely did not kill as he casually lays back down on his board Good. That would have been troublesome to explain to immigration officers on my way home I face the beach again and prepare to enjoy my calm landing and– I am less than five feet from shore going full speed SHIT I do what any sane person would do I jump ship

That was the biggest mistake of my life

See just as i jumped for dear life the wave hit its crest and i landed right in the middle of it

Suddenly i was a soggy pair of Canadian socks in the worlds worst dryer

On a very important side note, i am attached to the board by a long thin cable that is velcroed around my ankle, meant to keep the board from drifting and keep me safe

That cord is the bane of my existence

In my Horror Dryer Extreme experience the cord had managed to wrap from my ankle all the way up to my thigh, digging cruelly into my skin even through the wet suit

I slam into shore like a beached whale

Remember kids: shore is not my friend shore is OW

I slam into the rocks and lay there dazed for a moment, gasping for air. No way im going back out there ill just let the water wash over me im done surfing im done with the ocean

But the ocean wasnt done with me

Suddenly im getting dragged by the leg down the beach. I sit up, ignoring the stones slowly filling my pants.

My board had gotten stuck in the out take and was dragging me out to sea once again

I go through another round of Angry Dryer Mama Ocean and get slammed mercilessly back into shore, this time hitting my face so hard i split the skin above my eye. I still have a scar hidden above my eyebrow from this

At this point i am done

I try to stand and grab my board but the cord was still wrapped around my leg

Our teams guide who just so happened to be a surfer comes running over to see if im ok. “hey! Get up! Another wave is coming!”

I try to shout back “i cant, im stuck!” But that’s not what comes out of my dizzy mouth

Instead i lift my leg in the air like a dog and scream “I cant! It’s winding!”

My guide took this as “I cant! Im drowning!”

He runs over looking like a stern third grade teacher “you’re fine just get up!”

“You think im not trying??”

Another wave slams into me from behind and im washed out and washed back in. Lil me cant catch a break

Somewhere in the time id been brutally slammed back to shore my guide vanished. Fine then

I quickly unwrap my leg and scramble to my feet

Screw this, screw the board, im leaving!!

I start sprinting for my life up the hill to safety

SPLAT

My leg is yanked out from beneath me and i face plant hard

I didnt take off the velcro strap

Washed out

And washed back in

I rip the velcro from my ankle the second i hit shore

My guide appears out of nowhere and grabs my board and starts shouting at me to run

I ask no questions as I scramble up the side

Now, my guide, carrying two 50lbs surf boards makes it to the top of the hill just fine

Not me

A wave sucker punches me and drags me out again

Washed out. Washed in.

At this point im just accepting my fate to be forever bound by the sea im like the opposite of a selkie except the sea has my foot and i cant stay on the freaking land free me from my curse

Eventually i make it up to the top and collapse like sweet releif i am free of this hell

My guide sets my board down and looks at me. “Rekina. Stay here, the others are having a hard time too. Dont do anything stupid” trust me pal im going no where this is my home now tell my mother i love her

(Honestly Never tell me not to do something stupid. It’s a sure fire way to make sure i do the absolute dumbest thing possible)

I shoot him a weak thumbs up as he takes off down the beach, cackling at the poor idiot Canadians floundering in the surf.

Youd think my Adventure was over

Not a chance pal

I sit up and notice one of my classmates in the same predicament i was in

There wasnt even another option for my next choice

I stagger back down the hill and help him up. I grab his board and all but shove him back up the hill and somehow we both made it up safe and sound

Until we see our teacher not moving on the beach below us, her body getting battered and tossed around by the waves

Our guide is nearly a kilometer away down the beach, too far for us to call for help

I look at my classmate and he’s shaking his head like i am not going down there again are you crazy

I pop to my feet and race down the hill i am not letting my teacher die on my watch ok im not that kind of person fight me

My classmate groans and follows behind

I grab the teacher who was thankfully just stunned and unhurt and help her to her feet. My classmate grabs her board and they both start staggering up the incline far too slowly. I stay behind them to make sure they dont fall and hit the surf again. Happily they made it up just fine

Not my ass

Im slammed face first into the ground courtesy of a massive wave that just loves me too much

The ocean gave me a friendly love tap as it dragged me down the hill and slammed me against it one more time for good measure

I finally make it back to the top and swear to never surf again in my life (but let’s be real even near drowning cant stop me from trying again)

All in all a pretty successful first attempt

#Adventure Time With Rekina #Sorry for the long post a lot of crap happened #Hope you enjoy #not my best work but you know what we only have another month for Adventure Time With Rekina until i leave soo

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pr0ject-talon-blog · 7 years ago

Audio

Hi! I'm Lulu And I'm super pleased to meet you Faerie's on my shoulder He can't wait to make you meat too (That tasted purple) Dispense with the formalities And the schemes you may be contemplating Foes are turning furry in a hurry when transmogulating By the pricking of my thumbs Something wicked this way comes Boys see me and get wild growth Just one look and up we go! Muggles always on my wand Bit of whimsy and they'll be gone And what we did with my magic stick Don't remember? I'll send you Pix Not quite the common lady But just maybe you can get to know me Shielding all these carries Staying wary just to keep you going They know I'm the Dom And stay submissive to this magic master Fidget with your mind And drive you crazy til you can't spell 'Caster' Turn you warm and fuzzy leave you silenced Now you're cannon fodder Fend against these dark arts all you want But you're no Harry Potter Pick a lane to face me Tilting baby, it just doesn't matter Panic while I'm stacking magicked corpses Like Abra Cadaver The mobile warrior is back Commence the drillin' and killin' These villains illing And feeling the robot wrath that i'm willing I've reached the ceiling But not my rhymes or skills that are spilling I'm at my threshold for damage Now I'm red and unfeeling It's time to go Cause when my armors steady and ready I'm gonna lay a beatdown And one you wont be forgetting Tristys' my soul And though I'm bound to damage And ravage I'm focused like a laserbeak And Rumble's still such a savage This'll be a blast Exploding to the battle I'm unloading the satchel I'm the hexplosive heimerdinger Though he thinks im a hassle But even Donger must be feeling The extent of my brilliance Cause when the dean of demolition speaks the world's gonna hear it It's time to boot up the show This fuse is ready to blow My fallout from megabomb Is dropping nuclear glow I hope you got enough room Because you can't flee the doom Like Marvin Martian I just want to hear the world go 'kaboom' I might be talking looney tunes but I'm a Hanna-Barbarian My explosive devices just make it harder to bury you When the bomb is ignited and then you try to escape I see you here and there and there Well you're all over the place The major league competitor Because I throw like its Madden And then I use my satchel charge to just take off like Aladdin And I don't need a Jasmine I just need you to be gone I can show you the world When I drop this magic carpet bomb It's no surprise, that I'm breaking the ice Look I'm just here so I don't get fined The past and present, you can link it to I My temperament rise Glass cannon as a dorf until you see the Ganon surprise Check it Shifting the flow the 2 for 1 package Is coming back like it's a boomerang throw Watch how I glow Up into Yorkage With the beast inside the name's Gnaruto Identity crisis, splice up the flavor Experimental build, feel like I'm Stitch A Gentleman's savage Mischief amidst, Digivolution from rookie to switch When your team game's distorted And synergy gets contorted Resisting me is focus My rampage will annul it I evolve into a God like Zilla No point in hiding I'm invincible provided no David can stop Goliath When the boulders get to flying Your stones hardly defiant Blood and bones my bread and butter When feeding this dino giant Anger potent Hi I'm Hogan Gnar Cross me and I'll throw you far Prehistoric cyber franky little foots with bulky arms Manners isn't made for Gnar Banner Hulk is who I are Charming but alarming Bandle City's my Jurassic Park From Diddy Kong To the Mighty Grodd Hit Gear 4 then I crush them all Jumping Crushing Stomping Going hard is never going far This is war, a Yordle's paradise, y'all And they call me Gnar I've got a mighty tantrum, inducing rage all day When despair sets in you know It's the curse of the sad mummy So sad and lorn, the helpless lad I heard them say From behind my back But I guess that is who I've become today Cryin' to your mummy she ain't comin' Ain't it funny Steppin' in to team fights about to make the money Throwin' out that bandage toss I'm lookin' for some new friends Okay, where are we going? Aww wait, hey no, come back You don't wanna play with me? Then I guess it's time for a hug attack! Tearin' through this brush With my hunter's machete Uh, 2 Health Pots and a warding totem at the ready My tears don't fall No they crash all around me Because no one wants to duo queue with a sad little mummy Comin' out the jungle And I'm still lookin for new friends Wanna hug it out? Or are you looking to get stunned again Amumu the Mummy Immortal Master Of Misery With all my CC, I'll make us friends for eternity! Enough this display is highly repulsive And frankly far too ego indulgent This misappliance of science indeed must retire But for the time being I'll fight fire with fire I am the HE-IM-ER-DI-NG-ER End all, Be all Inventor Experimentor Professor Data Processor Embodiment of accomplishment But you can call me GOD I created the rap game On that level that you can't obtain Turrets in place, Rockets to the face Number 1 stunner with a shock gre-nade I see you heading back to base Mid is conquered Journal entry title for today Raise your dongers Even though you scream And you blaspheme I'm more than I seem More than a meme Remember kids Donger is king My readings aren't light My afro is tight Say my name You're god dong right Kennen Master Ninja, A hero of the storm I'm here to counteract the blizzard lightning's keeping you warm And with the shimmering shadow You're gonna feel the raikiri An AOE of Thor's Armada striking any one near me Thunder Drop is in the Zone Smite you down and send you on Blitzkrieg in the middle lane Mark you till you feel the pain Stopping dead within your tracks Then you hear the thunder crack Leave you blind like you're Lee Sin You're in the dust, I am the wind Flash of League of Legends, Yordle Zeus is what they calling me The Tesla coils around the team till they form a dichotonomy The lightning blast lobotomy This homicidal side of me Conflicting with the notion that I got my medical degree No ordinary doctor Kennen M.D.'s gonna hit the scene An artist with a shuriken or scalpel all the same to me Cause dress me up or down, it makes no difference when I'm owning ya Bandle City's got its heroes, this one's for Ionia Oh little heroes, how quickly you fall Kneel before the rod, I am the hand of desecration My will is the force that shall undo creation Impeded by you weaklings, such nerve, such gall Valoran at my hand? Now that's thinking too small Imagine, if you will, a small nexus of worlds As they curl, and unfurl, bending lights in a swirl Clad in darkness so distant, so vast and destructive A cluster of stars, that bend to my instruction Take it to the galaxy, you won't last long Blowing up the planet like you're on Krypton Generating mana Q is stacking up the damage you were never gonna manage Suddenly you're GONE E, Now you're standing in my sight R, Losing half your life Nowhere left to run, when you're sitting in a stun, timer ticking down to 1 W, goodnight Ever so suddenly, you are cowering up to me Chaotic Supremacy, no AD for this Entropy Such a thrill when this fire's ignited Watching you divided never been so excited! Is that a rocket in your pocket? Tristana's here to annihilate the Battlefield So head to my bottom lane Won't you tell me how you really feel? You're just another target You're a mark to test the schemes I'm planning Once you're in my sights you're getting shot up by my boomer cannon Hit you with the timer then I rocket so we get together Fire till explosion, Then I'm out, I guess I'll call you never Next thing that you know you're up at home feeling a little mad But tilting lasts forever Sorry babe, you're just a one-night stand Cap-tain Teemo I'm armed and ready I'm the poisonous pest that you've all been dreading Like a pox when I blind you, and sneak up behind you You run but I'll find you, leave presents inside you! Back up, I'm here to carry the team on my back When it's clear that nobody can match up Like Prince when the purple is raining And all of the scrubs sitting idle can't catch up But here I stand, a yordle holding your life in his hands One dart and your back to the stands All those best laid plans fall to the sand When there's no kryptonite for this Superman Omega Squad Say hello to the new God My Darkseid is too Raw But war's just what I live for I'm sick to my stomach of little repugnant deliberate Bugs with the mouths that keep running Toxic or nothing Pestilence runneth Famine I hunger And for death I cometh Apokolips arrives, taking no sides But Teemo is here to decide the fate of the enemy 5 Who pray to survive but none of them leave here alive Shrooms for you all in the room This is your tomb While my dominance will resume Say your farewells, if Teemo is satan I'm dragging you kicking and screaming into elo Hell (My favorite leauge of legends song aside from the curse of the sad mummy

#song #leauge of legends #yordels #falconshield

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andrewmoocow · 7 years ago

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Clod on the Run chapter 2: Suffragette Beach City (originally posted on May 21, 2017)

The Guardians of the Galaxy were zooming through the galaxy for their newest job. They were hired by Yellow and Blue Diamond of the Gem Homeworld to hunt down a traitorous Peridot on Earth. Star-Lord was flying their ship while jamming out to Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass, Rocket was preparing his surplus of weapons for an eventual battle, Drax was giving Groot a trim and Gamora was just sitting quietly. “Hey G, what’s up?” Star-Lord said turning around to his emerald crewmate. “You’ve been pretty quiet lately since we met the Diamonds, but I guess that’s pretty normal for you.”

Gamora could only groan as she finally spoke. “Do you really want to know guys?” All of the others were curious. “Come on Gamora, we are your friends.” Drax said. “I am Groot.” Groot added. “Yeah, what they said!” Star-Lord replied.

“Alright, you got me.” Gamora stated. “I’ve actually met one of the Diamonds.” The gang could believe what they just heard. “It was before I met all of you, when I was one of Thanos’ minions.”

“Lord Thanos, we are approaching Earth as we speak.” a grey-skinned alien in a black cloak announced to his master. He was Corvus Glaive, member of the Black Order and right hand man of Thanos the Mad Titan. The titan in question was a muscular, intimidating purple alien clad in blue and gold clothing. “Very good Corvus.” the overlord thanked his minion. “I wish to speak with the Diamond controlling this planet and see if the Authority is willing to ally with me.”

“Thanos came to Earth seeking to gain the Gem Homeworld’s trust, but we all know he would’ve betrayed them.” Gamora narrated. By the Mad Titan’s side were three humanoid alien warriors. One was Gamora herself while the other two were a blue-skinned woman with prominent cybernetics and a dark-skinned man with piercing blue eyes. They were Nebula and Korath, Gamora’s two adopted siblings.

“I want you three on guard in case anyone gets suspicious. In that case, attack and kill anyone who dare try to oppose me.” the Dark Lord ordered to his three assassins. “Yes master.” the trio complied. The aliens then touched down on an ancient cloud arena where they came face to face with many Gems of different shapes, sizes, colors and types. “Do not be alarmed.” Nebula announced. “We are here for Pink Diamond.”

“Allow me visitors.” a Gem stepped forward. She was a tall lanky one with flowing pink hair and her gemstone on her midsection. “I am Pearl, Pink Diamond’s servant.” The Pearl extended her hand forward. “I am Thanos of the Titanians. I request an audience with your superior.” Thanos introduced himself to Pearl. “Yes sir, right this way.”

Pearl led Thanos and his children through a crowd of nervous looking Gems to a large pink palanquin where another Gem clad in pink clothing sat. She was guarded by two other Gems, one with orange skin, white hair & her gemstone for a nose and the other was very humanlike in appearance with pink ringlets. “Salutations visitor.” The larger Gem said from her palanquin. “Who are you and what brings you here?”

“Greetings Pink Diamond, I am Thanos of Titan.” Thanos greeted Pink Diamond as he stepped forward, bowing while his minions kneeled. “I have come to your planet wishing to form an alliance with the Great Diamond Authority.” Pink Diamond rose from her palanquin as her two guard followed behind. “Please state your reasoning.” the Diamond spoke.

“You see, I have been hunting for six ingots of awesome power known as the Infinity Stones.” Thanos explained as he brought up a hologram of the artifacts in question. The Stones were of multiple colors ranging from blue, yellow, red, purple, green and orange. “These stones represent a different part of the universe and when brought together with the Infinity Gauntlet, would grant the user godlike abilities.”

All of the Gems present were intrigued by the visitor’s proposition, except for the orange guard. “I don’t like this.” she said.” “You’ll probably just betray and shatter us all!” She tried to attack Thanos but was stopped by her companion. “Jasper, please don’t provoke him!” she cried. “No Rose, we have to protect Pink Diamond!”

“Silence orange fool,” Thanos ordered Jasper. “Your attitude is like a pouty child! Now remain silent or I will have to end you.” Gamora, Nebula, Korath and Corvus pointed their weapons as she shouted “ATTACK!”

The Gems within the arena followed her orders and summoned their weapons. “Very well.” Thanos answered as he snapped his fingers, summoning his army of Chitauri, Sakaarans & Deviants and unleashed them on the arena. The battle was long and hard, with many Gems poofed or shattered during the conflict. Eventually Thanos won after he poofed both Rose Quartz and Jasper.

“I am appalled at such disrespect coming from a servants of the Diamonds!” Thanos boomed in disgust as he handed the gemstones to Pearl. “Forget the alliance, I will find the Stones myself.” He motioned his assassins to follow him as he departed the arena. “Mark my words Pink Diamond, when I gain ultimate power you will be the first to fall.”

“Later on, we received news that Pink Diamond was shattered by one of her own Rose Quartz but Thanos took it as a sign of surrender and remains enemies with Homeworld to this day.”

Gamora finished her story as the Guardians sat there completely stunned. “Jesus.” Peter said. “Hey Quill, did you turn on autopilot?” Rocket asked. “I don’t know, I thought you did.”

That’s when they all realized they were going to crash. “What did you do you idiot?!” Rocket exclaimed as the ship fell downward, catching on fire in the process. “I don’t know, I just got distracted by Gamora’s story!”

“Don’t even think about using that excuse!” Rocket shouted back. “My friends, it has been an honor adventuring alongside you.” Drax proclaimed. “If I die here, then I will die with all of you by my side!” He then pulled Rocket and Gamora close, hugging them incredibly tightly much to their chagrin. “Let go of me you moron!” Rocket exclaimed as he tried to wriggle out of the destroyer’s grasp. “Let my muscles be your shield!”

As the Milano dived closer to the ground, Peter took the wheel and tried to steer them away from their grisly fate, but it was too late.

The Milano was reduced to a pile of scrap metal when it crashed, but luckily nobody died. Peter was the first to awaken. “Oh geez what a fall.” He groaned getting up. “Anyone okay? Raise your hand if your head is still attached.” Groot excitedly raised his hand. “I am Groot!” he cheered as he got up. “Yeah, we’re still conscious Quill.” Rocket said as he popped out of Drax’s tight hug. “Looks like Drax’s abs did save us after all.”

“Yes, my abs are heroes!” Drax shouted as he released Gamora from his grasp. “You know, we could’ve survived crashing if Peter turned on the autopilot beforehand!” Gamora shouted. “Hey, don’t go blamin’ me here G!” Peter said trying to avoid getting in trouble. “Rocket was the one who did it!”

Rocket got angry at Quill trying to place the blame on him and pulled out a rocket launcher. “So I’m to blame for your idiocy?” Rocket barked. “Y'know what, screw Peridot! We’re taking you back to the Diamonds so you can get jammed into the human zoo when we get the ship fixed!”

Star-Lord then pulled out his laser pistol in retaliation. “Not if I bring you in first!” The two aimed their weapons at each other when Groot tried to break up the fight. “I am Groot, I am Groot!” The tree exclaimed as he pushed the two away from one another. Rocket sighed. “Groot’s right, kickin’ each others asses wouldn’t help us get rich.” He then put away his rocket launcher and tried to apologize. “Sorry for lashing out Pete, I guess we were both the idiots here.”

“Apology accepted Rocket.” Peter said ruffling his fur. “Now where can we find some new parts for the Milano?” Groot then pointed towards what looked like a barn in the distance. “I am Groot!” he said. “That’ll do.” Star-Lord said.

The group made their way to the barn, which looked much different from the typical barn. There was a silo jutting out the side, a pickup truck above the entrance with a TV in the back and a small pool near it. “Oy, what a dump.” Rocket said looking at it. “I mean, this place looks like a hodgepodge of useless crap!” Everybody else was quick to agree as they went inside when suddenly they were attacked by several armed drones, but Rocket shot them all down.

In the barn, they were met with what seemed to look like art like a broken tape recorded with a bow on it, a simple leaf taped to a rock and a lineup of toilets. “Is anyone here?” Drax asked around.

“Hey guys check it out, it’s a bunch of toilets!” Star-Lord called pointing at the toilets, laughing. “Very cheeky Quill, but we need to find a way to search for our target.” Rocket said examining the silo that was turned into a makeshift aquarium. There weren’t any fish except for a green alien creature with white stuff coming out of a hole in its neck. “Hate to be that guy. Wonder what happened to him.”

“Hey everyone, I found a vehicle that can get us somewhere!” Gamora called from outside. The other Guardians rushed outside to find her driving a tractor and not doing so good. “It may be slow, but it’ll do.” she said.

“I like your idea Gamora, but it’s gonna need a few modifications.” Rocket stated. “Groot, do we have any spare parts from the Milano that haven’t been destroyed in the crash?” Groot immediately saluted and charged towards the wreckage. “Heh, dis gonna be a cakewalk.” the animal smirked as he placed his hands behind his head. “Oh, are we having cake?” Drax asked.

The Guardians were now on their way to their destination on the tractor, which was now souped up with a turbo engine. They were zooming through the highway, past a pizza-themed car with a few teenagers driving it. “What’d I tells ya gang, this gonna be a piece of cake!” Rocket exclaimed as the wind rushed through his fur. “You said there was cake, but I don’t see anything!” Drax shouted. “I’ll explain later Drax, right after we become rich!” Rocket replied.

Suddenly, the engine broke down and the gang were stuck in front of a sign. “I thought the turbo engine was intact when we crashed.” Star-Lord said. “But the good news is the sign here must mean something good.” The crew got off the tractor and walked around the sign to see that it read ‘Welcome to Beach City.’

“Beach City, eh?” Star-Lord said. “Looks like we might have some fun in the sun when we finish our mission.” The Guardians then looked forward at the town. It looked pretty standard for a seaside town with a boardwalk and amusement park, but one feature they took notice of was a large hill with a stone hand sticking out the side. “Well guys, let’s get cracking.”

The Guardians walked through the streets as they got odd looks from the locals wondering why a cowboy was hanging out with a green girl, a shirtless man, a raccoon and a tree. “You think we look out of place here?” Gamora asked. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because we look like a bunch of freaks!” Peter exclaimed. “We might be tracked down by the government or become topics of crazy conspiracy theorists!”

“Yeah, especially people like that one.” Rocket added pointing to a small child with an onion-like head staring blankly at them. “What’re you lookin’ at kid? Scram!” The child continued to stare at them until he turned and ran, dropping a map from his pocket along the way. “Well that was oddly convenient.” Rocket said as he picked the map and opened it, revealing several locations circled with red marker.

“Okay, listen up folks.” Star-Lord announced looking over the map. “We’re gonna comb the town for our target and we won’t stop until the job is done. Also from now on we’ll be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One.”

He then gestured towards Drax. “Drax, codename Been There Done That.” Then he moved to Gamora. “Gamora is Currently Doing That.” After trying to high-five her and failing, he pointed at Groot. “Groot is It Happened Once in a Dream.” Finally he pointed towards Rocket who was crossing his fingers. “Rocket is…..Eagle Two.”

“Oh thank God.” Rocket sighed in relief. “So where do we go from here Quill?” He started pointing at various locations on the map. “How about this,” Star-Lord stated. “Groot goes to the donut shop here.” Before he could finish, Groot was already charging to the donut shop. “Guess somebody loves donuts.”

“Rocket, you go the amusement park.” Rocket got a bit excited, wondering about how much junk he could get from there. “Drax, you search the boardwalk and Gamora & I will search the boardwalk. As the legendary Fred Jones once said, let’s split up gang!”

They all dispersed as a curly-haired woman wearing glasses and a short black man watching them turned towards each other. “Say, didn’t that cowboy look a bit like Danny from Fields and Relaxation?” the woman asked.

Groot had already made his way to the big donut when he noticed the large donut sign that read “Big Donut.” Walking inside, he met an orange-skinned teenager with a red mohawk-like haircut and rather peculiar earlobes. “Welcome to the Big Donut, how can I…..” the boy began to speak before realizing that he was speaking to a giant tree thing. “I am Groot.” Groot said. “Nice to meet you Groot, I’m Lars.” the boy, now named Lars greeted nervously. “I am Groot.” Groot replied. “I know that, and I am Lars.” Lars answered.

The exchanges of “I am Groot” and “I am Lars” went on for a while until a short girl around Lars’ age came out of the back door.

“Hey Lars, what’s up?” the girl asked. “This guy came in and all he can say is 'I am Groot!'” Lars replied. “Here, let me talk to him.” The girl walked up to Groot and began to introduce herself. “Hi there uh…Groot, I’m Sadie.” she greeted. “I’m pretty sure you already know about Lars here.”

Groot extended his hand to Sadie. “I am Groot.” he said shaking her hand. “Hey buddy, can you move outta the way?” a voice asked. When Groot turned around, it was an old man with a mustache and sunglasses talking to him. “Yeah I’m talking to ya Deku Tree, you’re holdin’ up the line!”

“I am Groot, I am Groot.” Groot apologized to the man as he began to walk out of the building, but not before taking notice of several paper bags with “Sadie” written on them and taking one. “Hey wait, those aren’t for sale!” Sadie called out as Groot exited. “And he’s gone.”

“What a weirdo.” the old man said. “Now where’s my nut dog?” he asked. “Coming right up Mr. Lee.” Lars said.

Rocket meanwhile was digging through trash at the Funland Amusement Park. “So this is what these so called 'raccoons’ do, just dig through useless garbage?” he asked himself before finding a tin can. “This might be useful.” As he lept out of the trash can, he was suddenly hit by a broom. “Get outta my trash varmint!” the man holding the broom shouted. The man was tall, bald and wore a shirt with various shapes on it. “Who you callin’ varmint big boy?” Rocket shouted back.

The man was completely stunned to see a talking raccoon rummaging through his garbage. “Whoa mama!” he shouted. “A talking raccoon?” Rocket was also stunned. “Seriously, the hell’s a raccoon?!”

“You see little guy,” the man said. “It’s what you are. Bushy striped tail, those ears, that mask around your eyes….” Suddenly he was interrupted by the roller coaster beginning to fall apart. “Dang it Onion!” he screamed as he ran towards the ride. “If you hadn’t blown up my phone, I would’ve called your parents by now!”

“Well,” Rocket said to himself. “That was weird.”

Drax was searching across the boardwalk in search of Peridot, asking various people. He went to the pizza place, the arcade, the fry place and the beach but nobody saw her anywhere. He was about ready to give up and report to his teammates when he heard a small voice.

“Excuse me, have you seen my dog?” the voice asked. Drax looked down to discover that voice belonged to a small green child with triangular hair looking up at him. “What did you say?” he asked back. “I said, have you seen my dog?” The child was very persistent when asking him. “What does your dog look like little one?”

“My dog is orange, chubby, has little legs and a green tail.” the child answered. “I’m sorry, but I do not know about a creature like that.” Drax answered much to her dismay. “But if I do find it, I’ll come tell you.” The child beamed at Drax as she hugged his leg. “Thanks mister!” she said as she let go and ran off. Drax smiled back at her, as she reminded him of his late daughter Kamaria.

But that’s when he realized the child looked very much like the Gem they were searching for. “Wait a minute.”

Star-Lord and Gamora were walking through the streets of Beach City looking for someone who might know the Peridot they were hunting. “Are you sure whoever works at this car-wash might know about her?” Gamora asked. “I’m pretty sure.” Peter replied. “I mean, there’s nothing that can distract us now!”

Then ironically enough, he got distracted by the white van that had the words “Mr. Universe” on it and was immediately starstruck. “Are you alright Pete?” his green compatriot inquired. “Of course I’m alright,” Peter shouted. “That’s the van of Mr. Universe, pretty much one of the greatest musicians on Earth!”

The two walked up to the van to find a beach bum strumming his guitar when he stopped to notice them. “Oh hey, didn’t see you there.” he said. “It’s not often we get visitors that don’t want to destroy Earth.” While Peter was still in awe, Gamora on the other hand was very confused. “This is the legendary Mr. Universe?” she wondered pointing to him. “He doesn’t look like a star.”

“I may not look all that cool now, but I’m still a cool guy to be around.” the man said getting up and reaching his hand towards Gamora. “Name’s Greg Universe.” She reluctantly shook it. Greg tried to get Peter to shake his hand but he was too busy fanboying. “HI MY NAME IS PETER I’M ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS I REMEMBER WHEN MY MOM TOOK ME TO ONE OF YOUR CONCERTS IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST EXPERIENCES OF MY CHILDHOOD!” he blurted out before fainting.

“I’m sorry about your friend sir.” Gamora apologized to Greg. “You see, we came here looking for someone named Peridot. Do you know her?”

“Oh yeah, I do know Peridot.” Greg answered. “She’s one of Steven’s friends who pushed me off a barn roof.” Just then, Peter regained consciousness when hearing about Peridot.

“Wait, who’s Steven?” he asked. “Steven’s my son, a really sweet kid like his mother.” Greg replied as he pulled out a picture of him a picture frame of him and a woman with big pink hair who resembled the Gem from Gamora’s story. “That’s me and her way back when. Her name’s Rose Quartz.”

Star-Lord got quite curious. “What happened to her?” he asked, which made Greg turn quite dour. “She died giving birth to him.” he said. Star-Lord started feeling sorry for him as he already lost his mother when he was a boy. “That’s rough buddy.” he replied. “So anyway, we’re gonna go now.” Gamora interjected grabbing Peter by the shirt collar. “See ya later Greg!” Peter said. “But can you sign my Walkman first?”

Greg was happy to oblige as he pulled out a marker and wrote “To one of my biggest fans, from Mr. Universe” on it. Peter couldn’t help but squee as he was dragged away.

“Anything guys?” Rocket asked as the group reassembled at the shore. “I am Groot!” Groot said happily as he munched on Sadie’s bag. “I met a child looking for her dog who resembled our target quite a bit.” Drax said. “Quill fanboyed over some hopeless bum who used to be a rockstar from his childhood.” Gamora said as Peter continued to stare at his music player.

“I got beaten up by some guy at the park.” Rocket said pawing his face. “Face it, it’s all a lost cause. Might as well give u-” Suddenly he was interrupted by a weird feeling in his tail followed by barking. “Alright, who did that?” he demanded.

“Don’t look at me, it was Drax!” Star-Lord claimed pointing at Drax. “I do not make noises like that, blame Groot!” Drax added. “I am Groot!” Groot exclaimed pointing at Rocket’s tail. There was a small orange creature biting it that looked like a cross between a pumpkin and a puppy. “That’s it!” Drax bellowed pointing at the creature. “That’s the girl’s dog!”

“Wait a minute, what girl?” Rocket said as the child Drax met earlier rushed to Rocket and grabbed the creature. “Pumpkin, I’ve been searching all over for you!” she shouted as she hugged it. “Lapis, I found Pumpkin!”

The Guardians looked up to see a blue figure flying through the sky with wings made of water. When the figure landed, it was actually a blue Gem wearing a blue halter top & skirt with dark blue triangles on them and her teardrop-shaped gemstone on her back.

“Wait, there’s more of them? Star-Lord wondered. “Quiet Quill!” Rocket shushed him. “Thanks for helping us find Pumpkin.” Lapis said to Drax. “Peridot told me you would look for him.” Rocket’s ears started to perk up again. “You’re very welcome miss. I suppose you must be her mother.” Lapis started to look a little sheepish. “No, just her friend.” She then turned around to Peridot. “C'mon Peri, we’re supposed to be visiting Steven today.”

As the two walked away with Pumpkin away from the Guardians, Rocket jumped up and clung to Drax’s chest. “YOU IDIOT!” he screamed in his face. “You had the chance to capture her right then & there and you just let her leave?!” Star-Lord pulled his furry crewmate away from Drax and set him down on the sand. “Hey, no need to start yelling at Drax.” he said. “Besides, we need to follow those two. They said something about visiting someone named Steven.”

“Wasn’t this Steven supposed to be Greg’s child?” Gamora asked. “Yeah, maybe he knows those two.” Peter replied as he glanced toward Peridot and Lapis. “Now how can we follow them without getting caught?” Just then, they noticed a pink lion walking out from behind the Big Donut. “Is that a lion?” he wondered as he and the others watched in confusion. “Why is this animal pink?” Drax asked. “Beats me,” Rocket answered. “Let’s see if it’s friendly.”

The group walked to the lion as it started looking at them. They all stared at each other for a bit until the lion started scratching Groot, which made him giggle. “Yep definitely seems friendly.” Star-Lord said. “I wonder how fluffy his mane is?” He reached out to pet it when it tried to bite him. “Whoa!” he shouted as he pulled his hand out of the way. That’s when he got an idea.

“I have a plan!” he declared. “Oh God no.” Rocket moaned, fearing what he had planned. “We make Rocket pretend he’s roadkill, have the lion bring him to those two and then we break in & attack!” Rocket couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Why do I have to be the bait?” he complained as Gamora picked him up. “Why can’t we just rip off Groot’s arm and pretend it’s a tree branch?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to do this job for 5,000 units?” Gamora asked as she stuck her gun-toting chum into the lion’s mouth. “Yeah but not like this!” he cried. “Alright, I’ll play dead.”

“Alright now go to your home.” Drax ordered the lion. It obeyed the destroyer’s command and raced off, with the Guardians in pursuit.

“I’m really starting to regret stealing those Quartz gems.” Rocket moaned as the lion stopped at a beach house sitting beneath a statue of a giant woman with four pairs of arms. “Hey Lion, what you got there?” the voice of a boy asked as it walked outside to the lion. From what Rocket could see, the boy was roughly around his height with brown curly hair, a pink T-shirt with a star on it, blue jeans and pink sandals. “Is that a raccoon?”

As Rocket was pulled out of the lion’s mouth, he tried his best to play dead. “Is he dead Lion?” The lion quietly shook its head. “I’m not sure either, maybe the Gems can help.” The boy rushed Rocket inside the beach house as the other Guardians spied on him. “That small Earth child is the lion’s master?” Drax questioned. “It would’ve eaten him alive by now!”

“No time for questions Drax.” Quill said as he got out of their hiding spot and moved to the beach house. “We’ve got a job to do.”

The boy went inside the beach house with Rocket in his arms and laid him on a table. “Guys, come quick!” he called and five females ran to his side. Aside from Lapis and Peridot, the first was Garnet, a Gem with shades and a square afro. With her was Amethyst who was short, purple & had long pale lavender hair and Pearl, a thin white Gem with her gemstone on her forehead.

“Steven, why did you bring that animal into the house?” Pearl asked. “I don’t think it’s feeling well.” Steven claimed. “Aw come one Ste-man, it’s a raccoon.” Amethyst said. “They’re bound to play dead.”

“Amethyst has a point.” Garnet agreed. “Well, let’s try my healing spit and see what happens.” Steven licked his hand and tried to touch the raccoon with it before it grabbed his hand. The critter was now awake!

“Get your slimy hands offa me twerp!” Rocket shouted. “Wait, it can talk?” Lapis exclaimed. “Of course I can talk,” the furball proclaimed. “There ain’t anybody in this universe like me except me!”

Just then, Drax burst through the window armed with his daggers, laughing like a maniac along the way. “You fell for our trap!” he shouted as he got up. He continued laughing as Star-Lord opened the door. “You know Drax, you could’ve just kicked down the door.” Peter said as he let himself, Gamora and Groot inside. “I know, but jumping through the window is much cooler.” the destroyer replied.

“Okay, first the talking raccoon, then the beefy guy breaking the window and now this?” Amethyst exclaimed. “Who are you?” Garnet shouted as her hands turned into gauntlets. “We’re the Guardians of the freakin’ Galaxy,” Rocket said dusting himself off and joining his team. “And we’re here for that Peridot of yours!”

The words Rocket said alone were enough to get Peridot freaking out. “I knew it, Yellow Diamond has come for me!” she screamed as she hid under the table.

“We won’t let you take Peridot!” Pearl shouted as she took a spear out of her gemstone, followed by Amethyst summoning a whip and Steven a shield. “Yeah, try and stop us chumps!” Amethyst added. “Who you callin’ chumps shorty? Now it’s war!” Rocket exclaimed as he pulled out his laser cannon with Gamora unsheathing her sword, Star-Lord loading his pistols and Groot putting up his fists.

The great battle between the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Crystal Gems has begun.

#guardians of the galaxy #steven universe #fanfiction #crossover #clod on the run #star-lord #gamora #drax the destroyer #rocket raccoon #groot #steven demayo #garnet #amethyst #pearl #peridot #lapis lazuli #pumpkin dog #lion steven universe #cameos from thanos and pink diamond

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