#robot nature documentary au (car crash edition)

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Starscream goes to the local military base in town and takes the jet paints for himself.

Town people mad at him for what he did, but some people see him dolling himself up. (Probably thinks ‘she’s’ getting ready for a date with Bucket head)

Megatron beats him after they get into a verbal altercation

People now feel bad for being mean to Starscream cause now they think ‘Siren was just trying to get pretty for her shitty boyfriend using things we use for jets like her. And now she got pretty for nothing and hurt again’

Now Starscream next day sees jet wax and cleaners and paints in front of whatever building the town’s people let them live in with letters saying how beautiful he was and stuff before the accident.

Megatron: I hate it here

Starscream: These people will ruin my image, they must die before someone like Skywarp finds out

Megatron: I wish I was trapped here with skywarp instead

Starscream: Wtf??!?

And then another fight ensues

Tbh Starscream and Megatron get along best when commiting genocides together

[starscream-is-my-wife]

I know it’s just Ratchet and Op (with Bee) in the Documentary Au but I’m imagining if Megatron and Starscream were to fall to earth (crash with ZERO ways to tell the cons where they are and stuff so worse off then Op and Ratchet) and the people just IMMEDIATELY clock them as an abusive couple Starscream the woman and Megatron the man.

I think a name like Siren for Star would be dubbed for his alarming and screechy voice and maybe tank or bucket head (names get more rude the more they see him abuse ‘Siren’) and if they don’t outright start killing human and accepting there help sooooooooooo many humans leaving Starscream “Leave him gurl” and how to escape toxic relationships pamphlets. And maybe some leave Megatron anger management and therapy stuff for him.

I have actually thought about what would happen if it was starscream and megatron instead, since this was before the war I would think they would be on good terms or not know each other, I don't even know if they would even start to kill humans for fun yet, but if it is during the war I would imagine that being on a strange planet with no backup would make them be on better behavior then normal, I like Siren and Bucket head, although I think Siren would be used for a bot with a more pleasant voice, when i was thinking about it I used "Heels" and "knight" but I like his name changing with his public perception

Of course because it's them, eventually they will start fistfighting each other and then the humans are horrified. Starscream is a little shit about it like "yeah megatron how could you hit me~" and while Megatron is getting lectured he's just like "wtf are you talking about he hit me first??" But they can't understand him so the humans just treat him like a child

"You are bigger then her you can't hit her!"

Megatron: transforms into a gun

"that isn't how it works!"

Starscream finds the pamphlets and patronizing insulting but seeing Megatron at the whims of societal pressure is worth it. However Starscream would get canceled, like. Alot. So he just makes a dramatic showing of megatron beating him to make people forget about it and get uncanceled

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Ooooooo what if after the face painting fiasco some town person assumes that was some cutesy thing bucket head and siren did back when they weren’t the toxic mess they were not but happy.

So they start drawing large pictures of Starscream and Megatron lookin happy, dancing, holding each other, and the grandest of all lil pecks on the cheeks with loving looks. And they get the hold town to do it on large poster papers and send it to them.

They’re thinking it’s helping to fix the relationship to help remind Bucket of “the good times”

+Meanwhile Skywarp+

Absolutely Transcending from all the blackmail he is achieving through the spy cams and DEFINITELY having reflector or some spy or mini bot he sent stealing some of the arts for later blackmailing use. Telling them to take the once’s so realistic it could be a real photo just gotta edit a background on it.

And Thundercracker is just writing stories based on the art.

Starscream is like "At least they're making art of me, luckily no one is here to see it" :)

Megatron is never in town so he never sees them, if he did then he would probably note where the general location is (he can't) so he can blast it when he has his cannon back

Thundercracker is delaying their demise as much as possible

When the autobots come to protect the town they see Megatron and Starscream kissing on signs and some are concerned, some are amused

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Since Starscream is a very pretty bot much like Ratchet do any men try and pull a white knight “She’s to good for you bucket head! And deserves a better man. Like me!” And try flirting with Starscream.

And I ain’t ever see a Starscream yet that the lesbians or some part of the community don’t adopt him. Saying this some Starscream can have an army of lesbians and queer people be like.

“Despite her situation bby girl is serving cunt everyday on the dot. AND DO YOU SEE THEM HEELS 👠 QUEEN SHIT 👑”

Unlike Ratchet who is fairly tame, Starscream probably can't hold himself back from killing someone who tries flirting with him like that, 'not only is a fleshling flirting with me, it's also patronizing? That's it, it's turning into mush' after the first guy died people's opinions were mixed for a bit and no one tried after but then a bunch of other controversies would bury the murder

I don't really know how the queer community would feel about an irl starscream, maybe a part would be less assuming about alien couples?

"hmm, shitty person but seems to be able to do wherever she wants until she gets into controversy and instead of accepting any help or accountability she goes to her shitty boyfriend"

"Wait a second they're a completely different species why are we assuming they have the same gender roles? What if it's bird logic where the males are colorful and smaller and the females are dull colored and bigger to sit on the nest? Bucket can't fly, it would make sense for the female to be stronger to protect the nest while the males fly off and get food, also Bucket doesn't cause as much trouble to the town compared to Heels"

"Wait a second you might be right, what if Heels is just annoying Bucket and she's trying to reject his advances? Bucket from day one has never made it seem like they were dating, only Heels, so this makes alot of sense"

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Skywarp needs to be the one to EXCLUSIVELY find them now. He wouldn’t even rescue them immediately he’d get a translator for the humans, laugh his ass off at their narrative for the two, then get reflector or some other intelligence bot to record the drama for a few days until soundwave comes sees he found their missing leaders then send proper rescue and not a damn camera crew.

Skywarp WILL keep the tapes and edit them only to have the humans translated. And maybe one day when Starscream is being to bratty calls him by the earth name. Then runs for his life.

Megatron would be angry that Skywarp waited, however, Starscream is so mad that he wished he stayed a bit more

Starscream: Finally Jazz we have you as our prisoner, now what juicy secrets do you have?

Jazz: ... So how's the wife life going?

Starscream: Skywarp. Is going. To die.

I am thinking about how the Autobots would have to intervene from the whole genocide plan, and they have to clear up everything

"Wait so they're both men?? And not married?"

"Yeah they're not husband and wife they're more like Trump and Elon Musk"

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Starscream is just testing boundaries.

First make them think he’s just getting superficial stuff, then go bigger but more slyly.

Look at the reaction he got now. Already good once they idiotically thought it was for his ‘date’ so the hate didn’t last long. And if he could gaslight Megatron enough to throw a punch or grab him roughly infront of witnesses he gets off Scot’s free.

Easy thieving. And he gets to piss off megatron.

Starscream found an infinite attention and free things hack while Megatron is getting canceled, however he's touching grass so the effect isn't that strong, in fact he's touching too much grass, he's lost in the woods trying to get away but the navigation system got broken in the crash.

Imagine someone called the animal control on Megatron (they tried calling the cops but they dont have anything big enough for him) and then when they send in a carrier for Megatron he just goes in without any force. Starscream is trying to drag him out and the town is like "Wow... Shes so loyal... " while Starscream needs him for when he paints his face on the side of the biggest building in town