#robbie greenwood

[neverscreens]

— EXMAS.

Part One, 500 Screencaps.

Part Two, 371 Screencaps.

Part Three, 371 Screencaps.

All in GALLERY. Like or reblog if it was useful, every interaction shows us that we should keep making screencaps for y'all ♡

[ceridwyn2]

Out of curiosity I brought up ep 105 when they discuss their joint birthday. Same day, same age.

Last Tango in Halifax, S1E05

[Gillian on phone to Caroline] Caroline: Hello. Gillian: I spent 45 quid. That all right?

Caroline: Oh, that’s brilliant.

Gillian: Got a dressing gown…for you…for her to give to you. Just a white towel robe thing. 

Caroline: Perfect. That’s perfect. 

Gillian: If you don’t want it, I’ll have it. 

Caroline: No, it’s spot on.  Thank You. If you give me your bank details, I’ll transfer the cash. I’ll pay for her stuff as well.

Alan, Celia, Raff & Robbie playing cards in living room

Alan: That’s cheating!

Robbie: It isn’t (I think - kinda mumbled) 

Gillian: [on phone] When is it your birthday, by the way, out of interest? Just ‘cause it’s mine, tomorrow,

Caroline: Tomorrow. 

Gillian: [surprised] You’re kidding. It’s mine, tomorrow. How weird is that? 

Caroline: How old are you?

Gillian: How old are you? 

Caroline: Forty-six, I will be tomorrow. 

Gillian: That’s…

Caroline: You?

Gillian: Yeah.

Caroline: Good lord, that’s a bit…

Gillian: [starts to laugh] We’re twins.

Caroline: [bursts out laughing] Well, we’re something. 

Gillian: Are you winding me up? 

Caroline: No. I had no idea. 

[Card game. Celia looking at Raff’s cards]

Celia: Oh, he’s got a good hand! 

[Gillian interrupts the game]

Gillian: Hey! Oi! You’re never going to believe this. This is weird...

[change scene]

Slight nitpick re: LTIH fanfic. I’ve read some that note that Gillian had Raf was she was really young.

No, she didn’t. She got pregnant when she was 15 (after sleeping with Robbie) and aborted. Given Raf was 15, maybe 16 in Series 1, Gillian was turning 46. Which puts her somewhere btw 30-31 when she was pregnant with Raf. Eddie died when Raf was 6.

[omnivorouscinephilia]

Barbie: Gerwig's Self-Aware Pop-Feminist Deconstruction

Gerwig had the Herculean task of making a Barbie movie that was not only commercially but artistically successful, and she did maybe the best job any director could have. Consider reading my review of the film!

Greta Gerwig, hot off the successes of Lady Bird and Little Women, chose to make her third outing a film adapting the iconic Barbie for Mattel. That move makes sense, as her projects’ scope and ambition grow with each project, effectively going from scrappy indie film to sweeping period literary adaptation to major studio tentpole. Yet cynicism cannot help but creep in; will the machinations of…

[movies-to-add-to-your-tbw]

Title: EXmas

Rating: NR

Director: Jonah Feingold

Cast: Leighton Meester, Robbie Amell, Michael Hitchcock, Kathryn Greenwood, Veronika Slowikowska, Steven Huy, Thomas Cadrot, Donna Benedicto, Daniel Bacon, Lucas Chadwick, Emily Schoen, Sofia Irene Worsley, Eleanor Walker, C.J. Wilkins, Brittany Hobson

Release year: 2023

Genres: romance, comedy

Blurb: When Graham decides to surprise his family by travelling home for Christmas, he is shocked to discover them already celebrating with an unexpected guest of honour: his ex-fiancée, Ali. The two exes battle it out to see who the family will pick to stay through Christmas Day...and who must go.

[thosesadsuburbanghosts]

EXmas (2023)

[screenzealots]

"EXmas"

A tired family holiday movie that is light on both laughs and charm.

Those seeking something new and exciting in their Hallmark-style Christmas movies are out of luck with “EXmas,” a tired, by-the-book movie that is light on both laughs and charm. It’s disappointing that there’s a perceived lack of quality when it comes to holiday movies, with the general assumption being that if it’s about the yuletide season, it’s not going to be any good. It’s always a treat…

[originalharmonysalad]

Margot Robbie Takes You Inside The Barbie Dreamhouse

Today on AD, Margot Robbie takes us behind the scenes of ‘Barbie’ for an exclusive tour of the Barbie Dreamhouse. When tasked with bringing these iconic childhood toys to life on the big screen, Greta Gerwig enlisted the skills of production designer Sarah Greenwood and set decorator Katie Spencer.

Taking inspiration from Palm Springs midcentury modernism they’ve created a whimsical fuchsia pink fantasy where slides replace stairs and there’s not a wall in sight–when touring this impressive set it’s hard not to feel a rush of playful nostalgia as Greta states “I wanted to capture what was so ridiculously fun about the Dreamhouses." Barbie hits theaters on July 21.

[toughpaperround]

The dreamhouse set design shows several MCM designs, a mix of 3D props and 2D decals, and elements such as water are not real... but they're still beautiful 🩷

Margot Robbie Takes You Inside The Barbie Dreamhouse | Architectural Digest

[eclipsewxtch]

the electric synthesized rock ballad of why finney blake can’t have nice things [deleted scenes]:

the six sexy sluts

[10:43PM] demon-bird: you guys wanna shoot a music video w us??

will take three days max

will also be super fun

[10:45PM] yaMAMAduh: yeah sure for what

like is it for ur song or r u asking us to be extras in another artist’s MV

[10:47PM] demon-bird: for us n it’s a surprise. it’s not until february tho. you guys r gonna like it

[10:48PM] yaMAMAduh: yeah ok! we’ll be there

i memorized finn n billy’s schedule on our color coded calendar we have time lemme send it

[10:51PM] demon-bird: oh no i alr have it that’s why i asked

as a curtesy

well he posting it rlly soon after filming anyway. like. three days, maybe four.

[10:52PM] yaMAMAduh: okay bro😐

[10:53PM] griff: YAY UR GONNA HAVE SUCH A GOOD TINE IM SO EXCITED

[10:57PM] angel-fish: is it one of the songs on ur album? i’ve heard most of them

[10:57PM] griff: ROBIN STOP SHOWING UR FISNCE OUT SONGS

[10:57PM] demon-bird: YOU AND VANCE DO IT????

[10:58PM] viciously unfunny: No, I don’t. and stop changing my chat name finney fucking blake.

[10:59PM] yaMAMAduh: no vance doesn’t.

🍯🧸/honeybear to 🎱🎞️/pinball<3

[11:00PM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: ur such a liar???

look what u did. now i’m an accomplice to ur lies.

[11:02PM] 🎱🎞️/pinball<3: i’m not getting bullied bc YOU ASKED ME

[11:03PM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: oh so u hate me n don’t want me happy?

[11:03PM] 🎱🎞️/pinball<3: I DIDNT SAY THAT

STOP

[11:04PM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: sorry cutie u make it so easy i’ll stop i promise

[11:04PM] 🎱🎞️/pinball<3: thank u

[11:05PM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: for like? one day.

[11:05PM] 🎱🎞️/pinball<3: ur the reason i have high blood pressure

[11:06PM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: oh me? n not “jailbird” griffin or “professional police runner” robin?? ME??

[11:07PM] 🎱🎞️/pinball<3: exactly

give my heart a break please

the six sexy sluts

[11:56PM] griff: this song is so fucking gay

[11:57PM] demon-bird: you wrote the other half of the song… literally verse 1 pls shut the fuck up

[11:58PM] viciously unfunny: i hate y’all so bad u guys don’t get it

[12:00AM] griff: u wouldnt get most things AHA BITCHLESS

[12:03AM] viciously unfunny: i have millions of fans wdym?

also, unrelated, bruce showed me what wattpad was what the fuck. why is there so many w me and GIRLS? DO I LOOK LIKE I LIKE GIRLS?

[12:07AM] griff: it was before u confirmed ur sexuality, so they didn’t care. if it makes u feel better the most popular one is “The Bad Boy and Me” and it’s you and this fucking boy named Blu Greenwood, and he’s this awkward nerd who’s always having panic attacks cause ppl stress him tf out n he’s lowkey being harassed every day n ur like the strong silent protector. ur also a gang leader n a mechanic n one of our moms is in a coma but its very unclear which mom it is

[12:10AM] viciously unfunny: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck WHAT R U TALKING ABT???

[12:11AM] angel-fish: sorry i sent it to him, i was looking for Robin x Reader fanfics that me n robbie could giggle over n that was the most popular hit so we sent it to griff

it’s also posted on so the quality shld be good

[12:12AM] griff: HELP WE SHLD DO A BIDEO ON BRUCE’S CHANNEL W US READING OUT FANFIXS

[12:12AM] pb&j: heard someone say video

hold on lemme scroll

HELL YES! to the mv AND to the reading!!!

[12:13AM] griff: i’m genuinely shaking we have to bruce, bruce please.

[12:14AM] yaMAMAduh: yeah okay lemme get my camera

[12:15AM] griff: thank u <33

[12:15AM] demon-bird: it’s 12AM…

[12:16AM] viciously unfunny: i would rather die

[12:16AM] griff: 1. we’re all awake so.

and 2. bruce?

[12:17AM] yaMAMAduh: vance come on please? it would be fun, and if you get too embarrassed we can just focus on everyone else.

[12:17AM] viciously unfunny: promise?

[12:17AM] yaMAMAduh: PROMISE!!

[12:17AM] viciously unfunny: fine okay.

🍯🧸/honeybear to 🎱🎞️/pinball<3

[12:18AM] 🍯🧸/honeybear: thank u blondie.

ur the sweetest. i’m coming to ur room hold on

dumb, dumber, and dumbest

[12:20AM] bitchless whore: he kissed me on the cheek but i moved on accident n we kissed on the lips n i think im having a heart attack im on the floor rn

[12:28AM] engaged whore: what THEE fuck, vance.

Instead of talking about it, like they probably should, they ignore it. Vance is, like, fifty-percent sure they can get through the next month without it being a problem. Probably. Maybe. As long as they can get through filming later this month it should be fine.

It is kinda a love song. Well—it can also be a platonic love song. So maybe not that bad.

And Vance is the director, he gets to make executive decisions and he says this will be a normal and unromantic video.

Unless…

No, no! That would be crazy! Well, Vance reasons. It would be pack back for every time he flustered me. So, really, it’s justified. And—well—Vance can get flustered in person all the time. But acting is just lying, and Vance is great at lying and has perfected both lying and schooling his features into various expressions by the age of five, and ten respectively. Officers tended to go easier on him, even for his violent outbursts, if he looked emotional. Some didn’t buy it, and Vance was happy enough to curse them out for it in the end.

His fingers shake. He really, really hopes he doesn’t regret this, actually.

They’re making only one music video and Vance is a perfectionist.

Something tells him though that he won’t mind a few trials and errors.

“Vance, you good?” Robin jostled him. They were in their living room.

“Preparing myself for a traumatic night.” Vance says, and it’s not really a lie. It is a sick and twisted thing Bruce and Griffin are doing to him.

Bruce sets up his camera.

i force my friends to read fanfics abt us

by bruciebear

780k Likes 931,998 Views Feb 2

Description: i thought this would be funny but it was actually traumatic + little to no editing.

[Timestamp: 00:00:03]

Brucie comes into focus. “I’m not doing an intro—it’s midnight, I just want to read The Bad Boy and Me.”

“It’s surprisingly well-written,” Finney hums. “We’re using the other site though, because I refuse to suffer through the Wattpad ads.”

“I’m scared,” Vance admits. “I’m so scared of what’s in that fanfic, y’all.”

“Man up,” Griffin says.

Robin sighs. “It can’t be any worse than the Mafia fanfic’s… Finney lost his mind.”

“THEY MADE ME SOME HARLOT SIDE CHICK! I AM YOUR FIANCÉ AND I WILL NOT BE TREATED AS A SIDE CHARACTER WHO IS A WHORE! THEY COULD’VE AT LEAST WROTE ME OFF AS DEAD OR SOMETHING!”

Robin winces, “See?”

Griffin nods. “That’s real. He’s real.”

“And there were a few that mentioned Finney as my queer platonic partner, it was actually a little funny,” Robin snorts, “or the threesome fics.”

“Those were nasty.” Finney says. “So… so explicit. I didn’t even know there were that many euphemisms for penis. Also, why am I always so… So.”

Robin nods. “I get it. It’s a hard pill to swallow, hm?”

“The submissive tag scares me.”

“Okay, baby.”

“Thank you, Griff.”

“No—No, I’m calling you a baby.”

“…Oh.”

Griffin shrugs, “Bruce did you pull it up?”

“Yeah,” Bruce turns his phone over to the camera. “The Bad Boy and Me by camrusso247. Cam Russo, let’s see what you got.”

Vance puts his face in his hands. “I’m gonna kill myself.”

“Ooh,” Bruce smiles. “It has a playlist! And graphics,” he turns his phone, “Look!”

Robin leans closer. “Nice!”

“Okay, okay—Robin scan the spotify code so we can get the full experience.”

“Already on it, Brucie,” Robin scans it.

“Okay, yall ready?” Bruce asks. Robin waits for Bruce’s cue to start the music. The song plays softly.

“Chapter One — Crybaby. I am not a crybaby,” Bruce reads aloud, “In fact I rarely cry at all. It’s just not something I do, unless I get injured which isn’t as often as you would think for a ‘nerd’ in a public highschool. For the most part students leave me alone, despite the cliches, and I have a few acquaintances and friends. But back on topic. I’m not a crybaby. I don’t sniffle, I don’t whine, I don’t get a headache and my throat doesn’t ache with the exertion of holding in tears—Okay this is great so far.”

“I’m intrigued,” Robin leans forward, sipping his Caprisun. “Continue.”

“Exertion of holding in tears,” Bruce says again, “but it seems to be happening right now. My hands tremble, like mini-earthquakes in my skin, rattling the bones, and squeezing the muscles and veins into nervous jumps. I curl up into myself in the empty janitor’s closet. I wish I could say I was getting bullied, or had a recent tragedy happen to me—but there was nothing. Just a random, unexpected panic attack that left me gasping for breathes in the hallway. I managed to close myself in the closet to hide away from the overwhelming sounds of people. It wasn’t exactly helping. I still couldn’t breathe. I was hyperventilating. Tears rolled down my cheeks.”

Bruce stops. “I can’t even make fun of this it’s good.”

“Yeah, that’s one of the good ones apparently,” Griffin says, munching on popcorn. “It’s like. Before Vance publicly came out, so you and Billy and Finney aren’t mentioned which was a missed opportunity, actually.”

“Damn,” Bruce pouts.

“Keep going.”

“Oh, right—okay—It couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve minutes, or maybe longer, with how little oxygen I was receiving. I felt crazy, like everyone could tell where I was and how pathetic I was for struggling to breathe. And—suddenly—the door opened. There was a quick shuffle as a student shoved their way inside. I didn’t bother to look up, because I was too dizzy to lift my head from my knees.”

“Then, a voice asked: ‘Hey are you okay?’”

“Stop, stop.” Robin says.

“What?”

“The voice. Stop that.”

“No.” Bruce says simply. “I don’t want to.”

“You’d have better luck painting the Mona Lisa was a toothpick,” Billy tells Robin apologetically. “He always does the voices. It’s his favorite thing.”

“It’s disturbing.” Griffin mumbles. “Very disturbing.”

“You have not suffered Bruce sitting in a rocking chair in your room at three in the morning—reading children’s novels in different character voices with a blanket and one of those yellow-tinted night lights; I don’t want to hear any complaints.”

Everyone looks at Finney in bafflement, and then slowly swivel to Bruce.

“Bruce,” Billy starts gently, “We don’t own a rocking chair.”

“I know—I borrowed it from Gertrude on the floor below us, every other night back in Boston. Had to drag it into the apartment.”

“I…?” Billy stops. “Wait, a fucking moment—so it wasn’t a dream!”

“Apologizes, my love.” Bruce says, completely unapologetic.

“Why would you do that!?”

“You walked in during a pivotal point of the Princess and the Pea,” Bruce recalls, “Finney was half-awake and tucked in. It was either you joined for story-time or I activate the color changing mode on the nightlight to make you think it’s a dream.”

“You had on little half-moon glasses like Dumbledore! You had a pink blanket! And a wig! Of course I assumed it was a dream! Finney had on a princess crown!”

“I had on a what?” Finney hisses.

“It was Princess and the Pea.” Bruce says, completely serious, “He was the princess in the bed, ergo he needed a crown. I even placed a frozen pea under his pillow.”

“Oh my God…?”

Vance looks at Bruce. “Bruce. Honey.”

He shrugs, “We had theme nights. I put wolf ears on Finney for Red Riding Hood, and an apple on him for Snow White, or well, apple slices from a kid’s meal at the restaurant down the street. I would’ve put on a wig for him for Rapunzel, but I didn’t want to wake him too much—so I just settled for a picture of a tower.”

Robin stares. “…You’re a twisted man.”

“Thank you,” Bruce preens.

“That was not a compliment, honey,” Vance massages his temples. “At all.”

“Compliments are what you make of them,” he shrugs, “Now let’s continue onwards—and I am doing the voices, Griffin.”

Griffin walks to the fridge, pulls out a white wine bottle and starts to drink it. Bruce seemingly takes that as a sign to continue.

“I couldn’t lift my head, or speak. I shook my head in a No. ‘Can you breathe?’ No, but I couldn’t exactly communicate that. ‘Here,’ the male voice said, ‘I have a spare asthma inhaler I haven’t used yet. It should help.’ I chanced a glance up and saw green hair, bright and neon.” Bruce pauses. “Wait I thought it was Vance—is this Griffin?”

Griffin sighs.

“—Griffin Stagg, I think his name is. They’re in my grade—skipping one, I think—and honestly a little intimidating. Not for anything other than their beauty and perpetual presence in and out of jail. My dad told me to steer clear since he didn’t want me involved with quote ‘That crowd’. I shrink back a little. I struggle to speak. ‘No,’ I rasp, ‘I need to wait it out. Have to… have to learn to breathe on my own.’” Bruce blinks. “Well that was cringey, let’s hope that gets rectified quickly…”

“We are hoping.” Robin says, eating his popcorn.

“But Griffin looks at me weirdly. ‘Just accept the help, dumbass. It’s not like it’s drugged, Blu.’ I startle. ‘How do you know my name?’ I ask. ‘We share Gym’ Griffin says. ‘You play soccer. How else would I know that, freak?’ …”

“Sounds like Griffin not gonna hold y’all,” Billy says, arm around Griffin’s waist.

“I’m literally so fucking nice, kill yourself.”

“You first bitch,” Billy says.

“You guys are so weird, don’t include us in your foreplay.” Bruce sighs. “At this point I’m gonna read this in my own time.”

Vance groans.

[Timestamp: 00:27:37]

“Oh my God—Vance you just saved him from tripping in the hallway, this shit is so cute!” Bruce squeals, “Aw! Blu is a sweetheart!”

Vance’s blush looks permanent. “I am going to kill myself.”

“Hush, we haven’t even gotten to the juicy parts. Apparently the tags say illegal street races, car sex... and, also, gun kink.”

“IT SAYS WHAT.”

[Timestamp: 01:00:22]

The camera is in a different position, now catching everyone in the room and propped up on the TV stand, presumably.

Vance is fire truck red. Bruce is sitting half on-half off his lap and is reading a detailed smut scene.

“I think this is it.” He says to the camera as Bruce continues mercilessly. “It’s time I kill myself.”

Bruce grabs his hand and rubs soothing back and forth motions with his thumb on the back of Vance’s hand.

He looks at Robin. “Please kill me—this is so embarrassing?”

Bruce pauses, looks at Vance, and says: “Chief?”

Vance shakes his head no, and buries his face in Bruce’s shoulder.

“All friendships need a safe word,” Finney says to the camera flatly. “Because that’s a totally normal thing to have.”

“Why not, we do?” Robin hums. Finney slaps his shoulder.

“Safe words are for pussies,” Griffin says.

“He’s joking,” Billy says to the camera, “he literally told me this morning if he ever makes me really upset to let me know so we can talk it out and we can use a word to signify serious time.”

“Shut the fuck up and stop telling people I care about you it’s ruining my image.”

“We’re dating,” Billy says, clearly not listening. Griffin scowls.

Bruce is still speaking. “Okay we found the gun kink—whoa, role reversal, it’s Vance who likes the gun pointed at him.”

Vance whines. “That is not a kink I have, that is not a kink I have, that is not—”

“Tell the camera so people can make accurate fanfiction.”

Vance looks at the camera. “I am a child of God. A virgin, innocent and pure. I do not have kinks. What I have is my virtue.”

Robin and Griffin burst into laughter. “Oh, so we hallucinated you sexiling us from the basement or…?”

“Yes,” Vance says.

“So you’re denying having sex in the basement?”

“No, but we usually did it in my car.” Vance hums.

“Oh so they got that part right?” Bruce asks. Vance scowls in response.

Griffin screeches, “I FUCKING KNEW IT AND YOU LIED TO MY FACE ABOUT IT!”

Vance shrugs, “If I admitted to that, I would also have to admit I was fucking a very specific person and I did not want to do that.”

“Who?”

Vance pulls out his phone. Griffin’s phone rings. Robin, Billy, and Finney look over and gasp.

“Are you serious right now?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Vance says. “I think eighteen year old me was absolutely unhinged.”

Bruce isn’t even reading out loud anymore, just reading to himself. “Hey, Vance…?”

He tilts the phone over, Vance is tracing stars into Bruce’s knee. “Hm? Oh… no, no it’s not.” He whispers something in Bruce’s ear.

“Oh, you sick bastard.”

Vance shrugs. “No shame in my game.”

“So much shame. The most shame.”

Vance shrugs again. “Keep reading though, have fun.”

“But now it’s not accurate,” Bruce whines. “Now I can’t, like, imagine it—”

Vance pauses. “You were imagining it before—?”

“We need a new fic.” Bruce tells the group at large, “I actually like this so much.”

Vance groans. “Robin next.”

“My shit is mostly crack fics,” Robin shrugs. “Or women… lots of women in there…”

“I found a Billy x Robin one.” Bruce announces at large. “Contains submissive Robin. Just sent the link.”

“Absolutely not,” Robin hisses in outrage.

“The companion fic is Griffin x Finney following the Halloween Showcase. The tags are: semi-public sex, inappropriate use of a microphone, i believe in switch supremacy and switch griffin stagg is alr a tag so, but for the purpose of this fic, Bottom Griffin Stagg, Top Finney Blake, AngelWings, Rough sex, Blood Kink, Belligerent Sexual Tension. Link sent.”

“Sounds hot,” Griffin hums. “Finney?”

“I’m not gonna lie those tags are worrying me what do you mean inappropriate use of a microphone? How? What are we doing with it?”

“Fellatio probably.” Vance hums.

“One of the other tags is rough public sex so, I feel like this is very unhinged.”

“…Let me read it.” Robin and Billy say at the same time.

“I feel it important to say I will not have a foursome with you guys as Billy is family to me and the last time we entertained the thought of more we both got sick,” Finney says flatly. “Griffin get your hand off my thigh.”

Griffin removes his hand slowly.

“Throwback to that time Finney and I made out in a frat house and both of us were so disgusted afterwards that Finney questioned his sexuality and I started watching My Little Pony.”

“What.”

“Yeah, I had a hard time differentiating romantic and platonic feelings from one another.” Finney wrinkles his nose, cute and apologetic, “If it makes you feel better I did it with Bruce too and that cemented that they were best friends ONLY.”

“So you and me are still on the table?” Griffin asks.

Finney thinks about it.

“You have to think about it?” Robin gasps. “One of my best friends?”

“…No,” Finney replies to Griffin slowly, not blinking. “I love my fiance.”

“I don’t care just keep me out of it,” Robin says. “I’ve seen Griffin naked enough times in my life.”

“Okay Robin,” Finney says dryly. “If you fuck Billy—I want to fuck Griffin.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Billy raises his hand.

“No,” Robin, Finney, and Griffin say at once. They’re completely off-task from the reading of fanfiction.

“If I fuck Billy—motel?”

“Hotel,” Finney corrects. “Billy deserves better. And you have to have fun.”

“Billy seems like fun.” Robin hums.

“Griffin seems fun, too,” Finney agrees. “Therefore fair is fair. You cheat, we cheat.”

“Is it cheating if it’s a mutual thing?”

Finney thinks on it. “Probably not.” Then, “Actually, give me and Griff the one about us.” He reaches for his phone and scoots closer to Griffin. “Interesting.”

“I’m a little intrigued by the tags,” Griffin hums, curled up besides Finney.

“WHOA!” Robin throws his phone.

“What? What!?”

“It was a very hot open,” Billy says. “There was no build up. No foreplay. Right into it.”

Finney laughs. “We have tons of foreplay. Very graphic description here.”

“Why do think they I actually bit you during the showcase?”

“Well, that explains the blood kink tag,” Finney blinks.

[Timestamp: 01:26:19]

Bruce is absorbed into the fanfiction. “Okay, so I feel like we have reached the climax of this fic—Blu found out Vance’s mom is in the hospital in a coma, Vance found out that Blu is lowkey homeless—shoutout to the author for linking articles, linktrees, and charities for homeless people, you’re an angel—and the antagonist of the fanfiction is planning revenge and is also a serial killer and Blu’s stalker.”

Vance sighs, defeated. “The gun kink is still upsetting me. Why? What about me screams gun kink?”

“You’re very attractive in the sense that you give off an intimidating vibe. The tattoos don’t help either.”

“I like my tattoos.”

“Yeah, I do too—and so do three million other people.” Bruce huffs. “Your gang name is the Phantoms, by the way.”

“Good Lord…” Vance rubs a hand down his face.

Bruce pats his shoulder. “There, there… There, there…”

[chicken-delight]

i stg if that screenshot is supposed to be robbie and they have him looking like johnny greenwood i willllllll have no choice but to start plucking the hair out of my head one by one

[jellybeanium124]

They DID get nominated, for writing and producing

"Barbie" was nominated for best screenplay and best production design. There is no "best producing" award. I have a film degree so I know what those terms mean better than most people, and production designer and producer are two entirely separate jobs. Producers oversee the logistics and noncreative aspects of the film, and PD is the head of the art department, overseeing costumes, HMU, set design, set dec, and props. The PD on "Barbie" was in fact a woman, Sarah Greenwood (art dept is notably the pinkwashed department in the industry and to this day where you'll find the most women in film).

Now, yes, "Barbie" is up for an academy award for "Best Adapted Screenplay" with Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach both listed as writers on the official website. That still doesn't erase the fact that Gerwig was snubbed for best director, and Robbie was completely snubbed. Robbie was a producer on "Barbie." Not the PD.

[bolllywoodhungama]

Critics Choice Awards 2024: Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer, Barbie, Succession, The Bear lead the wins

The Critics Choice Awards 2024 celebrated cinematic and television excellence on Sunday night, January 14, 2024. Chelsea Handler returned as the host for the evening. Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer shone, securing eight wins, including Best Picture and Best Director though Cillian Murphy missed the Best Actor win. Greta Gerwig’s Barbie claimed six awards, winning in categories like Best Comedy and Best Original Screenplay. Emma Stone earned Best Actress for Poor Things. On the TV front, Succession, The Bear, and Beef led the wins.

FILM BEST PICTURE American Fiction Barbie The Color Purple The Holdovers Killers of the Flower Moon Maestro Oppenheimer - WINNER Past Lives Poor Things Saltburn

BEST ACTOR Bradley Cooper, Maestro Leonardo DiCaprio, Killers of the Flower Moon Colman Domingo, Rustin Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers - WINNER Cillian Murphy, Oppenheimer Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction

BEST ACTRESS Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall Greta Lee, Past Lives Carey Mulligan, Maestro Margot Robbie, Barbie Emma Stone, Poor Things - WINNER

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Sterling K. Brown, American Fiction Robert De Niro, Killers of the Flower Moon Robert Downey Jr., Oppenheimer - WINNER Ryan Gosling, Barbie Charles Melton, May December Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Emily Blunt, Oppenheimer Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple America Ferrera, Barbie Jodie Foster, Nyad Julianne Moore, May December Da'Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers - WINNER

BEST YOUNG ACTOR/ACTRESS Abby Ryder Fortson, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. Ariana Greenblatt, Barbie Calah Lane, Wonka Milo Machado Graner, Anatomy of a Fall Dominic Sessa, The Holdovers - WINNER Madeleine Yuna Voyles, The Creator

BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE Air Barbie The Color Purple The Holdovers Killers of the Flower Moon Oppenheimer - WINNER

BEST DIRECTOR Bradley Cooper, Maestro Greta Gerwig, Barbie Yorgos Lanthimos, Poor Things Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer - WINNER Alexander Payne, The Holdovers Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY Kelly Fremon Craig, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. Andrew Haigh, All of Us Strangers Cord Jefferson, American Fiction - WINNER Tony McNamara, Poor Things Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY Samy Burch, May December Alex Convery, Air Bradley Cooper & Josh Singer, Maestro Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach, Barbie - WINNER David Hemingson, The Holdovers Celine Song, Past Lives

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY Matthew Libatique, Maestro Rodrigo Prieto, Barbie Rodrigo Prieto, Killers of the Flower Moon Robbie Ryan, Poor Things Linus Sandgren, Saltburn Hoyte van Hoytema, Oppenheimer - WINNER

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN Suzie Davies, Charlotte Dirickx, Saltburn Ruth De Jong, Claire Kaufman, Oppenheimer Jack Fisk, Adam Willis, Killers of the Flower Moon Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer, Barbie - WINNER James Price, Shona Heath, Szusza Mihalek, Poor Things Adam Stockhausen, Kris Moran, Asteroid City

BEST EDITING William Goldenberg – Air Nick Houy – Barbie Jennifer Lame – Oppenheimer - WINNER Yorgos Mavropsaridis – Poor Things Thelma Schoonmaker – Killers of the Flower Moon Michelle Tesoro – Maestro

BEST COSTUME DESIGN Jacqueline Durran, Barbie - WINNER Lindy Hemming, Wonka Francine Jamison-Tanchuck, The Color Purple Holly Waddington, Poor Things Jacqueline West, Killers of the Flower Moon Janty Yates, David Crossman, Napoleon

BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP Barbie - WINNER The Color Purple Maestro Oppenheimer Poor Things Priscilla

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS The Creator Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One Oppenheimer - WINNER Poor Things Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

BEST COMEDY American Fiction Barbie - WINNER Bottoms The Holdovers No Hard Feelings Poor Things

BEST ANIMATED FILM The Boy and the Heron Elemental Nimona Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - WINNER Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Wish

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM Anatomy of a Fall - WINNER Godzilla Minus One Perfect Days Society of the Snow The Taste of Things The Zone of Interest

BEST SONG “Dance the Night," Barbie “I’m Just Ken," Barbie - WINNER “Peaches," The Super Mario Bros. Movie “Road to Freedom," Rustin "This Wish," Wish "What Was I Made For," Barbie

BEST SCORE Jerskin Fendrix, Poor Things Michael Giacchino, Society of the Snow Ludwig Göransson, Oppenheimer - WINNER Daniel Pemberton, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Robbie Robertson, Killers of the Flower Moon Mark Ronson, Andrew Wyatt, Barbie

TELEVISION BEST DRAMA SERIES The Crown The Diplomat The Last of Us Loki The Morning Show Stark Trek: Strange New Worlds Succession - WINNER Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty

BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES Kieran Culkin – Succession - WINNER Tom Hiddleston – Loki Timothy Olyphant – Justified: City Primeval Pedro Pascal – The Last of Us Ramón Rodríguez – Will Trent Jeremy Strong – Succession

BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Jennifer Aniston – The Morning Show Aunjanue Ellis – Justified: City Primeval Bella Ramsey – The Last of Us Keri Russell – The Diplomat Sarah Snook – Succession - WINNER Reese Witherspoon – The Morning Show

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES Khalid Abdalla – The Crown Billy Crudup – The Morning Show - WINNER Ron Cephas Jones – Truth Be Told Matthew MacFadyen – Succession Ke Huy Quan – Loki Rufus Sewell – The Diplomat

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Nicole Beharie – The Morning Show Elizabeth Debicki – The Crown - WINNER Sophia Di Martino – Loki Celia Rose Gooding – Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Karen Pittman – The Morning Show Christina Ricci – Yellowjackets

BEST COMEDY SERIES Abbott Elementary Barry The Bear - WINNER The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Poker Face Reservation Dogs Shrinking What We Do in the Shadows

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES Bill Hader – Barry Steve Martin – Only Murders in the Building Kayvan Novak – What We Do in the Shadows Drew Tarver – The Other Two Jeremy Allen White – The Bear - WINNER D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai – Reservation Dogs

BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES Rachel Brosnahan – The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Quinta Brunson – Abbott Elementary Ayo Edebiri – The Bear - WINNER Bridget Everett – Somebody Somewhere Devery Jacobs – Reservation Dogs Natasha Lyonne – Poker Face

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES Phil Dunster – Ted Lasso Harrison Ford – Shrinking Harvey Guillén – What We Do in the Shadows James Marsden – Jury Duty Ebon Moss-Bachrach – The Bear - WINNER Henry Winkler – Barry

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES Paulina Alexis – Reservation Dogs Alex Borstein – The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Janelle James – Abbott Elementary Sheryl Lee Ralph – Abbott Elementary Meryl Streep – Only Murders in the Building - WINNER Jessica Williams – Shrinking

BEST LIMITED SERIES Beef - WINNER Daisy Jones & the Six Fargo Fellow Travelers Lessons in Chemistry Love & Death A Murder at the End of the World A Small Light

BEST MOVIE MADE FOR TELEVISION The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial Finestkind Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie No One Will Save You Quiz Lady - WINNER Reality

BEST ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE MADE FOR TELEVISION Matt Bomer – Fellow Travelers Tom Holland – The Crowded Room David Oyelowo – Lawmen: Bass Reeves Tony Shalhoub – Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie Kiefer Sutherland – The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial Steven Yeun – Beef - WINNER

BEST ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE MADE FOR TELEVISION Kaitlyn Dever – No One Will Save You Carla Gugino – The Fall of the House of Usher Brie Larson – Lessons in Chemistry Bel Powley – A Small Light Sydney Sweeney – Reality Juno Temple – Fargo Ali Wong – Beef - WINNER

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE MADE FOR TELEVISION Jonathan Bailey – Fellow Travelers - WINNER Taylor Kitsch – Painkiller Jesse Plemons – Love & Death Lewis Pullman – Lessons in Chemistry Liev Schreiber – A Small Light Justin Theroux – White House Plumbers

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE MADE FOR TELEVISION Maria Bello – Beef - WINNER Billie Boullet – A Small Light Willa Fitzgerald – The Fall of the House of Usher Aja Naomi King – Lessons in Chemistry Mary McDonnell – The Fall of the House of Usher Camila Morrone – Daisy Jones & the Six

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE SERIES Bargain The Glory The Good Mothers The Interpreter of Silence Lupin - WINNER Mask Girl Moving

BEST ANIMATED SERIES Bluey Bob’s Burgers Harley Quinn Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - WINNER Star Trek: Lower Decks Young Love

BEST TALK SHOW The Graham Norton Show Jimmy Kimmel Live! The Kelly Clarkson Show Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - WINNER Late Night with Seth Meyers The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

BEST COMEDY SPECIAL Mike Birbiglia: The Old Man and the Pool Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits John Early: Now More Than Ever John Mulaney: Baby J - Winner Trevor Noah: Where Was I Wanda Sykes – I’m an Entertainer

[thefilmsnob]

Barbie: **** out of 5

As I was leaving a screening of Barbie amidst a sea of elated fans, I overheard someone saying, “That was so much better than I thought it would be.” Honestly, I didn’t share the sentiment. That’s because I was certain it would be great the second that I learned it was Greta Gerwig’s next project. A wonderful actor and writer, Gerwig eventually directed her first film Lady Bird in 2017 followed by Little Women in 2019, both extraordinary works and two of the best reviewed movies of the last decade. I wasn’t excited for Barbie; I was excited for Gerwig’s third feature.

That feature is half of the ‘Barbenheimer’ cultural phenomenon. Never in a million years would I have pictured Gerwig, the de facto Queen of Indie Films, at the center of two blockbusters vying for box office dominance…in the same week! What’s more, her film is actually winning the financial battle against Oppenheimer, the second film in that portmanteau whose director, Christopher Nolan, churns out blockbusters like Mattel churns out plastic dolls.

One such doll, Barbie, is the star of this film and an American institution launched in 1959 whose instantly recognizable brand floods the hallways of countless stores. Some might view the film as cynical commercialism—this two-hour showcase definitely won’t hurt sales—but, that opinion is reductive. The opening scene alone defies expectations and reminds us of the exceptional talent behind the camera, including co-writer Noah Baumbach, who’s even more ‘indie’ than Gerwig, and both her creative and romantic partner.

You may not know the people behind the camera, but you do know the star in front of it. Possessing otherworldly beauty (narrator Helen Mirren has a killer line about this) and exceptional acting skills, Margot Robbie’s casting is a no-brainer, which is ironic considering how inclusive the cast is; dozens of Barbies inhabit Barbieland, composed of various races, body types and gender identities. That goes for the Kens as well. But, Robbie plays Stereotypical Barbie, a crucial aspect of the story that the film makers stress often, mainly to highlight a standard that impressionable, vulnerable young people experience so often.

And so, the perfect Barbie played by the perfect actor lives a perfect life in a hot pink utopian society where the Barbies hold all positions of power while the Kens, including Beach Ken (a priceless Ryan Gosling), chill at the beach and try, unsuccessfully, to woo the ladies. The nonchalance of Barbie’s rebuff of Ken speaks volumes about this social hierarchy. Robbie’s Barbie has a daily routine, executed as if a child were controlling her, rituals that include sipping from an empty cup and floating from bedroom to driveway because what child would walk her doll down every stair?

This occurs on a meticulously constructed set, realized by designers Sarah Greenwood and Katie Spencer. Built on a solid foundation of whimsy and charm, this community—whose geographic and temporal relationship with the ‘real world’ wisely is left ambiguous—is the product of stunning practical effects in place of tempting CGI. Like in recent films, interestingly, such as Beau is Afraid and Asteroid City, the set resembles a colourful diorama, at once fantastical and tactile. It’s a world of make-believe you can otherwise almost reach out and touch, just like the toys that inspired it.

But toys don’t have sudden preoccupations with mortality like Barbie does during a dance number, handled with perfect comedic timing by Robbie. She’s also horrified by newly flat feet and patches of cellulite. It’s around this point when the story shows it has more on its mind than just brand promotion. That trend continues as Barbie consults Weird Barbie (the delightfully weird Kate McKinnon) who’s an outcast yet the wisest of them all. Lurching about, contorting herself and giving those big-eyed, alien-like looks that McKinnon has mastered, she tells Barbie to find the girl who’s controlling her in the real world.

With Ken stowing away in Barbie’s convertible, the two arrive in Los Angeles’s Venice Beach, enveloped in neon spandex. There’re some standard fish-out-of-water moments played for laughs, sure, but Gerwig and Baumbach also use this framework to explore a myriad of social issues with the same amount of fervor used to entertain. After being ogled relentlessly at the beach, Barbie is cat-called by some construction workers, but that cliché is subverted as Barbie simply and unexpectedly explains that she lacks genitalia. It’s brilliant.

As with Gerwig’s previous films, it’s difficult to pin down a specific message; she explores numerous issues and isn’t one to tie things up in a neat little package. The stories have feminist underpinnings, but they’re never reduced to simple dichotomies like ‘women are good/men are evil’. Yes, men are portrayed as misogynists occasionally or embody corporate greed in the case of the idiotic Mattel executives led by a pompous Will Ferrell as the CEO. We also see the dangers of an impressionable air head like Ken learning of the patriarchy and introducing its flaws to Barbieland, hopefully bringing attention to how insufferable bro culture can be. Yet, Gerwig’s brand of feminism is sympathetic to male struggles too, especially toward the end, even if much of their behaviour is rightly judged.

Mattel isn’t even immune from judgment; the writers get away with a surprising amount aimed at the company, specifically regarding their toys’ negative influence on body image and self- esteem. For a film maker to resist the pressures of both studio executives and the heads of the represented brand, especially with the huge stakes of a blockbuster production, is truly remarkable and a testament to the audacity of Gerwig who’s unwilling to sacrifice her artistic integrity. Mattel also deserves some credit for acknowledging their shortcomings and vowing to do better. Everyone wins here.

That includes the audience, most importantly. Not only are we treated to hilarious, candy-coloured entertainment, but we’re given a smart film for adults that kids will also enjoy and whose insight will benefit both. It challenges corporate power, the patriarchy, beauty standards and stereotypes while promoting inclusion, autonomy and self-confidence, mostly in creative and entertaining ways though, occasionally, unlike Gerwig’s previous films, a bit too overtly if not altogether preachy. America Ferrera, with a soulful and honest performance as the Mattel employee Gloria, gives a tirade about society’s ridiculous expectations of women; it’s hard to refute her argument, but the delivery feels too familiar in this otherwise unique experience.

It’s an experience that relies heavily on its two leads, both marvellous. Gosling eschews his usual dead-eyed intensity for a relaxed turn as a lovable nitwit and does so effortlessly (no offence). It’s Robbie’s (Barbie) world, however, and we’re all just accessories. The roll is deceptively complex, requiring an actor with more than just beauty to be at once effervescent and existentially preoccupied. Both her performance and the story are capped off with one final word that recalls a line (also the final one) by Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut, appropriate considering Barbie begins with an explicit reference to another Stanley Kubrick masterpiece. It’s a word that Robbie announces with aplomb when it would otherwise be whispered with embarrassment; a word she wields like a weapon, charging forward into a new life in the name of unapologetic femininity.

[boardchairman-blog]

2024 Oscar Predictions

Best Picture

American Fiction

Anatomy of a Fall

Barbie

The Holdovers

Killers of the Flower Moon

Maestro

Oppenheimer

Past Lives

Poor Things

The Zone of Interest

Best Director

Jonathan Glazer- The Zone of Interest

Yorgos Lanthimos- Poor Things

Christopher Nolan- Oppenheimer

Alexander Payne- The Holdovers

Martin Scorsese- Killers of the Flower Moon

Best Actress

Lily Gladstone- Killers of the Flower Moon

Sandra Hüller- Anatomy of a Fall

Greta Lee- Past Lives

Margot Robbie- Barbie

Emma Stone- Poor Things

Best Actor

Bradley Cooper- Maestro

Leonardo DiCaprio- Killers of the Flower Moon

Paul Giamatti- The Holdovers

Cillian Murphy- Oppenheimer

Jeffrey Wright- American Fiction

Best Supporting Actor

Robert De Niro- Killers of the Flower Moon

Robert Downey Jr.- Oppenheimer

Ryan Gosling- Barbie

Charles Melton- May December

Dominic Sessa- The Holdovers

Best Supporting Actress

Emily Blunt- Oppenheimer

Danielle Brooks- The Color Purple

Penelope Cruz- Ferrari

Sandra Huller- The Zone of Interest

Da'Vine Joy Randolph- The Holdovers

Best Original Screenplay

Anatomy of a Fall- Justine Triet and Arthur Harari

The Holdovers- David Hemingson

Maestro- Bradley Cooper and Josh Singer

May December-  Samy Burch and Alex Mechanik

Past Lives- Celine Song

Best Adapted Screenplay

American Fiction- Cord Jefferson

Barbie- Noah Baumbach & Greta Gerwig

Killers of the Flower Moon- Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese

Oppenheimer- Christopher Nolan

Poor Things- Tony McNamara

Best Animated Feature

The Boy and the Heron

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget

Elemental

Nimona

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Best Documentary Feature

20 Days in Mariupol

American Symphony

Beyond Utopia

Bobi Wine: The People's President

The Eternal Memory

Best Foreign Language Film

20 Days in Mariupol (Ukraine)

Fallen Leaves (Finland)

Society of the Snow (Spain)

The Teacher's Lounge (Germany)

The Zone of Interest (United Kingdom)

Best Original Score

Jerskin Fendrix- Poor Things

Ludwig Göransson- Oppenheimer

Mica Levi- The Zone of Interest

Robbie Robertson- Killers of the Flower Moon

John Williams- Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Best Original Song

“Dance the Night” from Barbie

“The Fire Inside” from Flamin' Hot

“I'm Just Ken” from Barbie

“It Never Went Away” from American Symphony

“What Was I Made For” from Barbie

Best Cinematography

Hoyte Van Hoytema- Oppenheimer

Matthew Libatique- Maestro

Rodrigo Prieto- Killers of the Flower Moon

Robbie Ryan- Poor Things

Łukasz Żal- The Zone of Interest

Best Film Editing

Jennifer Lame- Oppenheimer

Yorgos Mavropsaridis- Poor Things

Thelma Schoonmaker- Killers of the Flower Moon

Laurent Sénéchal - Anatomy of a Fall

Kevin Tent- The Holdovers

Best Costume Design

Barbie- Jacqueline Durran

Killers of the Flower Moon- Jacqueline West

Napoleon- David Crossman and Janty Yates

Oppenheimer- Ellen Mirojnick

Poor Things- Holly Waddington

Best Production Design

Barbie- Sarah Greenwood and Katie Spencer

Killers of the Flower Moon- Jack Fisk and Adam Willis

Oppenheimer- Ruth De Jong and Claire Kaufman

Poor Things- James Price, Shona Heath, and Zsuzsa Mihalek

The Zone of Interest- Chris Oddy, Joanna Maria Kuś and Katarzyna Sikora

Best Sound

Barbie

Ferrari

Maestro

Oppenheimer

The Zone of Interest

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Golda

Maestro

Napoleon

Oppenheimer

Poor Things

Best Visual Effects

The Creator

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Poor Things

Society of the Snow

Overall

Oppenheimer: 13

Killers of the Flower Moon: 11

Poor Things: 11

Barbie: 10

The Holdovers: 7

The Zone of Interest: 7

Maestro: 6

Anatomy of a Fall: 4

American Fiction: 3

Past Lives: 3

20 Days in Mariupol: 2

American Symphony: 2

Ferrari: 2

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny: 2

May December: 2

Society of the Snow: 2

[byneddiedingo]

Margot Robbie in Barbie (Greta Gerwig, 2023)

Cast: Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, America Ferrera, Ariana Greenblatt, Rhea Perlman, Helen Mirren (voice), Will Ferrell, Michael Cera, Connor Swindells, Issa Rae, Kate McKinnon, Alexandra Shipp, Emma Mackey, Simu Liu, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Ncuti Gatwa, Scott Evans, John Cena, Dua Lipa. Screenplay: Greta Gerwig, Noah Baumbach. Cinematography: Rodrigo Prieto. Production design: Sarah Greenwood. Film editing: Nick Houy. Music: Mark Ronson, Andrew Wyatt.

For all the snarky cleverness of its screenplay, the brightness of its performances, and the liveliness of its direction, what is Barbie if not a 114-minute image ad for Mattel, Inc.? The movie allows the toymaker to look like a good sport by acknowledging its oft-criticized influence on young girls and its marketing mistakes, and by letting its management be portrayed as clueless males, with its CEO played by the master of cluelessness, Will Ferrell, while still raking in more money than ever. It's a masterpiece of corporate self-justification. The points the movie makes about the Barbie phenomenon (which became an even bigger phenomenon when its release date coincided with another blockbuster, resulting in the "Barbenheimer" meme), couldn't have been made without the participation of Mattel. Sure, you could make a movie satirizing the toy business, focusing on a girl doll laden with separately purchased accessory toys. You could call the doll something like Mitzi and give her a boyfriend called Bob, and you could call the company Rattel or Battel, and you could score all the same points with almost the same script and the same cast. But it wouldn't have the same sharply real edge. This is a movie that future analysts of American society in the 21st century are going to come back to when they examine childhood and capitalism and the role of the sexes in the year 2023. The story the movie tells is essentially the same as that of another toy that comes to life, Pinocchio. Except that when Pinocchio became a real boy, I'm pretty sure that he ran out to play. If Ken had been the one to become real, he probably would go out to shoot hoops or see his mates at the bar. When Barbie becomes a real woman, the first thing she does is visit a gynecologist. It's an ending that sums up the film's view of what it means to be a woman today.  

[badventist-petite]

Wrapped asks! 2, 9, 12!

oh sweet, thank you sir 😌

2. A song you didn't expect to see in your top 10

I'm not surprised too much but it's gotta be Kurt Elling's cover of King Crimson's "Matte Kudasai". I mean, yes I did listen to it quite a bit but I didn't think I listened to it that much? It's a jazz cover--well, like a smooth jazz cover, but like, a good smooth jazz cover (His cover of Stevie Wonder's "Golden Lady" from the same album is.... less so lmao). Man's got a beautiful voice. And... I may or may not have fantasized about a certain Bruce Greenwood covering this song in the same vein. 👀👀 Because I'm unhinged.

9. Favourite lyrics of your #1 song

Oooh that's really hard because the whole song is amazing. It's "Fallen Angel" by Robbie Robertson. But I'll have to say the first two verses:

I don't believe it's all for nothing/It's not just written in the sand Sometimes I thought you felt too much/And you crossed into the shadow land And the river was overflown/And the sky was fiery red You gotta play the hand that's dealt ya/That's what the old man always said

beautiful and sad, I believe this was written after a friend of his committed suicide

12. A song you feel should be higher up

I am a little surprised that Billy Joel's "Rosalinda's Eyes" isn't in my top 10. I just knew it would be because I listened to that song A LOT. It's at number 15 which isn't too bad though. The chorus(es) are my favorite part

Crazy latin dancing/Solo down in Herald Square Oh, Havana/I've been searching for you everywhere And though I'll never be there/I know what I would see there I can always find my Cuban skies/In Rosalinda's eyes Señorita, don't be lonely/I will soon be there Oh, Havana/I've been searching for you everywhere I've got a chance to make it/It's time for me to take it I'll return before the fire dies/In Rosalinda's eyes

Thanks for the ask @quantim! 😊