#road trips my beloved! etc

[carnivalls]

birthday in 20 minutes everyone. just so you know. keeping you informed

[bluelockmaniac]

kento nanami, ITOSHI SAE, seishiro nagi, al haitham, ZHONGLI . . .

. . . who loves to rest his head on your lap after a long and exhausting day, wanting nothing more than to feel the soothing sensation of your fingers gliding through his hair until he is eventually lulled to sleep by the caress of your gentle hand.

shoei barou, xiao, CHOSO, dan heng, WRIOTHESLEY, geto . . .

. . . who would never let you walk on the side near the road where passing cars and trucks and all the other dangerous types of vehicles could run through muddy water and soil your clothes. instead, he delicately grabs your wrist and swiftly switches places with you to protect his sweetheart from any harm.

CHILDE, satoru gojo, kaeya, AVENTURINE, FUSHIGURO TOJI, ryusei shidou . .

. . . who laughs at you when you trip and fall, and when he's done teasing, he slips his arm under the bend of your legs and effortlessly carries you for the rest of the day, complying to his 'injured' lover's every request (he knows you're exaggerating but he pampers you anyway).

itoshi rin, kazuha, KAVEH, diluc, ARGENTI, fushiguro megumi . . .

. . . who keeps and stores many of your favourite snacks in his kitchen so that whenever you come over he could proudly see the way your face immediately brightens as you comfortably sit on his lap and begin satisfying your cravings.

MIKAGE REO, neuvillete, SUNDAY, boothill, itadori yuji . . .

. . . who literally does everything for you. are you about to enter or exit a car or restaurant? well, he's already opened the door for you. are you about to sit down and dine? your gentleman's already pulled out a chair for you. is there a stray tree branch on the sidewalk? well, that's when he kicks that obstacle away because how dare it require his beloved to put in effort?

©2024 bluelockmaniac do not repost, copy, translate, modify, etc my work on any platform

[sgiandubh]

Señorita Nothingburger

🎶When you see her, say a prayer /And kiss your heart arse goodbye 🎶

Lauren 2.0. Wow: after The Paid Companion, The Wannabe. Unlike the first round of revelations, this time the output has been totally disappointing. Very few things and zero context, which I have to say I was totally expecting, because it didn't exactly fit the agenda being pushed by Marple (amen!). Lightning never strikes the same place twice, right? And then, we had The Follow - a very interesting foolish, yet telling move: but on this, a bit further down the road, mind you.

So, let's ask ourselves along with La Ciccone: '¿Quién es esa niña?' For once, his IG follow has been very explicit:

Leading whoever to this account...

Elix Wellness is offering a very specific range of treatments, of which the one for hangovers really got me interested:

And yeah, even if I have apparently been scooped out by Marple on this one (my bad for sitting on it for a day), shamelessly using my patented methods (that is a lame joke), Lauren 2.0's LinkedIn account is, for once, very clear:

Her contract as a Travel RN was over by August 2023, as pointed out across the street:

And then she decided to go independent and open her own company. So, by far not a hooker - decent education, even, at NYU.

Lo and behold, who had Ibuprofen in his hotel room, in May 2023, when they were spotted on that NY Soho terrace, having lunch (didn't we laugh? you bet we did, it was one of my first posts in this fandom!)? S, of course. Hangovers could use both ibuprofen and a good IV cleansing treatment ( see above - such a common offering in that particular town, soon to be out of fashion - but hey: if she believes it can bring money, not my problem).

But... dating her? Not a chance in hell. You see, just a cursory survey of her IG account between the moment her contract as a Travel Registered Nurse was over and the moment her company started to be active, reveals a very busy Mediterranean summer, hitting all the possible cliches:

Before ending that contract, even, some days in Paris with her real interest, (again) checking all the tourist/romantic tropes you can imagine, from dining at the Au pied de cochon restaurant to having a quick macaron bite in the Luxembourg Gardens...

... then off to Paros, a posh island Greek destination, very much in vogue with the creative crowd, followed by (we are talking mandatory island hopping, here) Mykonos (unapologetically posh and very expensive, LGBTQ+ friendly destination - also beloved by the glam and glitz crowd)

Oh, hello Soho Roc House, part of the Soho Houses network - rings a bell? What a small world, really.

... a couple of days in Rome, followed by some quality family time (Mom and Pop, at a minimum) in Puglia, then Croatia (again, the glam crowd of Hvar island), back to Paris for a girls' trip (Montmartre, the Eiffel Tower and a couple other spots in the Marais and around the Rue de Rivoli - cliche forever):

... then back in Rome for cacio e pepe pasta, Piazza Navona and the Pantheon oculus (artsy girl, told you), followed by Positano and Capri (with Mom and Dad, again). Nothing to write home about, but still trying to sell herself as an up and coming influencer of sorts, perhaps.

Nowhere near S for the entire 2023 Sassenach Summer Tour. How is this equating with dating, that is really beyond me. Seriously. For instance, just before the second sighting, in NYC (June 10, 2023), she was having fun in the Algarve region and Lisbon (of course, Portugal). Probably posted those pics upon her return to NYC:

Dating? More like convenient pretext. He knew people would hang around that hotel (fans, autograph hunters, etc), especially during OL promo peak time. And he knew someone will take that pic, which was then conveniently placed in *urv's lap, for lengthy talks and more innuendo. Just as the first sighting was conveniently placed in Marple's inbox, to see if topic garners interest and sticks around/can be reused for further shits and giggles. Innuendo and nothing more would be my best bet: neither *urv, nor Marple had ANY positive idea about who she was, back at the time.

And now, the third drop was again placed in Marple's inbox, because attention had to be redirected to this particular gossip topic, in rather dire circumstances following Lauren 1.0.

And for your information, she does not follow S and he does not follow her. But he follows her newly opened joint: hangovers are a bitch, I know.

Why? I think it is clear enough why.

Who dunnit? I will let you draw your own conclusions, really. Again, it is rather plain to see. My belief is that this is not TPTB. And for once, I do not think he met her via Raya. Nope.

I took one for the team and listened to that podcast (if you are very foolish or brave or foolishly brave, you can do the same here: https://youtu.be/vBmcnhe2kwg?si=rRu5YCLHS3eZhuFs ). I mean, what is WRONG with those women? That is legit 14 year old bullshit talk about relationships (or the immature impossibility to have a satisfying one). They essentially explain in that podcast they have trouble decoding 'the man' in some relationships and the way they play out. I was laughing so violently my abs (or lack of them) hurt. At some point, I even thought it was some sort of sophisticated second degree, but NO (#cringe).

Also, I think I should be burning my pineapple pajama summer pants. Seriously. If you listen to the whole bullshit, you'll see there is no damn way to substantiate anything based on that. Zero connection.

[fatallyfalling]

Strawberry Wine ~ 𖤓

“ safe & sound “

{{ Peeta Mellark Headcanons }}

warnings: mentions of alcohol, canon Hunger Games violence/trauma, wholesome fluff, etc.

{{ word count }} 487

{{ prompt }} fluffy headcanons for our beloved bread boy !!

{{ a/n }} this is short & sweet while i test out Peeta’s character! I’m not sure what i exactly want to write with him since i’ve adored everlark for forever but for now please enjoy my silly happy thoughts! Some of these i’ve heard around the internet i think but i can’t remember where :[

Peeta Mellark, the ashy blonde from District 12 who stole the hearts of the Capital with his charms and sweet, boyish nature while also managing to tame a stubborn Mockingjay - Katniss Everdeen, and poured out his heart and soul to get back to her any way he could.

- Peeta is a morning person. He'll get up early and have breakfast ready by the time Katniss pulls out of bed (she learns to sleep in post-rebellion).

- His favorite type of bread/pastry is croissants. The tedious labor of laminating the cold butter block into the fluffy dough is cathartic in a way.

- Once, he tried to teach Katniss to paint. Once. Her attempt at trees looked more like crazy brown and green spiders but he still kissed her temple and had the painting framed, much to the girl on fire's dismay.

- Peeta doesn't like hard liquor - he never did. Effie hooks him on a strawberry wine made special in what used to be District 11, he's gifted at least one bottle every birthday or holiday.

- He's such a housewife no questions asked, hands down. Hungry? He'll cook. Thirsty? Anything you want. This man has to be physically removed from the kitchen during friendly gatherings so he can actually relax and enjoy the company.

- Also, his Dad lore is insane.

(speaking to his kids when they're older) "Oh yeah, your Mom tried to kill me once. but it's okay I made it even the next year so we're good now."

"One time I almost got eaten by a monkey in a fight to the death."

"Another time I took a spontaneous road trip, got held hostage, and then led a rebellion to victory alongside your Mom."

- Peeta teaches himself guitar so he can play along while Katniss sings. His chords are wildly out of tune at first, but he gets it eventually.

- Peeta doesn't like store-bought bread, saying his homemade loaves taste better (they do).

- He's a hugger, every hello and goodbye is met by a bear hug. His hugs are amazing as well, nice and tight but also comforting and warm.

- For a while after the war Peeta kept a journal on his nightstand to record his dreams/nightmares. Even if the text turns out to be chicken scratch in the morning Katniss still helps him decipher and work through it to solidify reality.

“What does that say ?”

“Uh… I think… no - wait, I have no idea,”

- Effie and Peeta definitely have wine nights to talk about their scary guard dog partners and how much they love them.

- Speaking of paint - it’s everywhere, all the time, mainly his hands. Oil paint is next to impossible to clean so almost all of Peeta’s shirts have some amount of color speckled on the sleeves or the thighs of his pants.

- Peeta also keeps a cookie jar of homemade cookies in the kitchen, they’re replenished every week with regular flavor swaps.

{{ tags }}

[natsukishinomiyaswife]

⋆ 𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭: 𝓓𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓑𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓼 ⋆

Please note: This is a repost from my old blog, @sugarcookiesheep!

Domestic Bliss was a series I was doing featuring most of the Twisted Wonderland cast as fathers, and what their child/children are like! (With the Reader being referred to as mom!)

I had only completed Riddle and Cater’s parts (while posting sneak peaks of others), and I may come back to it someday! Until then, enjoy! ♡

⋆ As a father I believe that Cater would be easygoing, taking things as they come and adapting depending on the situation. His child would never have to be afraid to go to him for anything, whether it be to talk or in general. At times it may seem like he acts more like a friend rather than a parent (especially when his child is older) but that’s just because of how comfortable his child is around him. They can be open and honest with him, without worry of harsh judgment or needing to keep secrets. That’s not to say that Cater won’t give his opinion, making it known when he disagrees with something. It’s always with good intentions though, simply wanting the best for them. The type of parent that wants to capture every moment of his child’s life, leading to lot’s of pictures and videos. Everything from small moments to significant milestones like first steps, first words, etc. He’d keep up with all the latest trends and social media the kids are into, including whatever hobbies or interests his child has. He’d evolve from being “cool” to being “embarrassing” as his child got older, but affectionately.

⋆ Cater’s daughter would have a love for media, just like her father! She’s one of those babies that gets so excited whenever her favorite cartoon or character pops up on tv, babbling and bouncing up and down in excitement. She’d slowly move herself as close to the tv as possible in her baby roller walker, her attention focused on what’s happening on screen. If you or Cater turned off the tv or changed the channel she would immediately start crying, making grabby hands at the screen in an attempt to bring it back. You guys would take this into account when purchasing a vehicle, getting one of those family sized cars that can play movies and shows. Road trips had never been more peaceful, though you had to get used to listening to the same movie/show over and over again.

⋆ She has a plush toy of her favorite character that she treasures and always carries with her, like a security blanket. Even when it becomes old and torn you wouldn’t even think of replacing it, knowing how upset and distressed it would make her. You or Cater try your best to patch it up when needed, having to sew or restuff them. No matter the quality of your work, your daughter loves and appreciates it every time. She’s just happy to see her beloved friend feeling better!

⋆ Once she was a bit older Cater decided to get her a small tablet (the kind intended for kids), and to say she was glued to it would be an understatement. Wherever you went she’d bring it with her, either immersed in her favorite shows or walking around taking photos of anything she could. Much like her father she loves to take pictures and enjoys any opportunity to take some, preferably of you or Cater or her beloved plush friend. Though most times in her enthusiasm the pictures will be blurry or out of focus, Cater will always encourage her and treats every picture she shows him as the best photo he’s ever seen. He’ll also give subtle tips or suggestions to help her pictures come out more clear without discouraging her work.

⋆ Even as she gets older she still finds comfort in her favorite show/character, still carrying her beloved plush wherever she goes. She’ll usually keep them in her bag when at school or in public, having them peek out a bit so she can reassure herself of their presence. When she’s feeling anxious or upset she’ll give the plush some pets, the soft texture helping calm her down. If someone tried to make fun of her or (heaven forbid) take the plush from her, you and Cater would comfort her, making it known to the teachers/parents involved that you wouldn’t tolerate this type of behavior. 

⋆ If it were your daughter’s “friends” doing this, Cater would sit down with her and have a private discussion about it. He’d listen to her, giving her a shoulder to cry on if needed and gently giving his own thoughts on the matter. Once things settled he’d lighten the mood by redirecting the subject to a funny video he saw or a cute picture he wanted to show her, getting the smile back on her face. Cater can’t help the joy he feels when she makes some new friends who respect her boundaries and even enjoy the same show she does, asking if she’d like to invite them over for a slumber party sometime. Of course, she’d have to ask her mom first (You said yes, just as happy for her as Cater)

⋆ While your daughter does have a sweet tooth, she prefers savory food like Cater does. When she does have something sweet, it’s usually a salty sweet combination like chocolate covered pretzels or a sweet and spicy combination like chocolate with chili powder/extract in it. She has a high tolerance for spicy food and seems to enjoy anything that has a bit of a kick, so if you’re not a fan of spicy things (or don’t have a high tolerance for it) you make sure to cook your food separately from theirs. (and not to accept if they offer you a bite of their food, you learned that early on way back when you and Cater first started dating)

⋆ One thing about your home is that it’s always lively, Cater and your daughter turning on some music to sing and dance whenever they have to do chores. It’s because of this that you and Cater decided to start having a family karaoke night, usually held once a week during the weekend. You move the furniture in the living room and create a make-shift stage, bringing out all kinds of props and costumes for people to use or wear during their performances. At first it was just the three of you until Cater got the idea to invite his old club/bandmates to join in, Kalim and Lilia making sure to come whenever they’re available. Your daughter would even invite some of her friends to join in on the fun, doing duets with them while everyone clapped and cheered them on.

⋆ Cater would make sure to record the performances throughout the night and would take a group picture of everyone before they left, having a special cork board in the living room where he puts each new photo. You guys have fun looking at the photos and reminiscing about moments from past karaoke nights, talking in between laughs as you point at different pictures. 

⋆ Though you can’t help your bias when looking at the photo from your first karaoke night; you, Cater, and your daughter all squeezed together for a selfie. You’re all wearing a bunch of random things, from sunglasses to hats to feather boas, with the make-shift stage you made behind you. All three of you are smiling towards the camera, your daughter in between you both grinning from ear to ear. Looking at the photo always fills you with warmth and fondness. Cater says it’s his favorite and you can’t help but agree ♡

Originally posted: November 30th, 2023

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

[melting-houses-of-gold]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @chocmarss! ✨

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 (but 9 that are visible!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

99,253 (so close to 100k!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and ACOTAR in my google docs) and I'm trying to branch out into other fandoms for fun!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

could we live with just a taste?

The Valley of the Mythosaur

you are the beloved, longed-for destination in the end

just desserts

had we but world enough and time

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I usually only do when I post something new, but given how slowly I've been posting, I'm trying to respond quicker.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This one!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, not yet, and I'm a sensitive bean so please don't start!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but definitely aim for more sensual than explicit? I feel like with all things in my writing, I try to go more for vibes. If you're looking for something that's SUPER explicit and porn-y, I'm not your gal but there are plenty of other great writers who are and rock it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I have so many ships, just in star wars alone!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Cries in the 1980s. iykyk

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not great at giving myself compliments, especially when it comes to writing, but I always try to go for good imagery in my writing. I want the reader to feel like they're right there with the characters, experiencing what they're experiencing. It's why I usually go with present tense so that you can be breathless alongside them, happy when they're happy, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I focus too much on inner angst and thoughts. Sometimes I'll go multiple paragraphs in a draft and realize nobody has spoken or moved in a thousand words!

I get too wrapped up in perfection. I'll rewrite a scene a million times, and sometimes it makes it better and sometimes you just gotta make it good enough, you know?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would love to do it more!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight -- don't go looking!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ooh so tough! I love and hate all my fic equally, but I'm having a lot of fun with this road trip AU that I intend to get back to!

Tagging: @acatinwinterfell, @shardminds @beesays and anyone else who'd like to participate!

[schweizercomics]

(turns out McKay's DIDN'T have Mad Max cars lying in wait on the last leg of the trip to protect their prize money by taking out anyone who made it that far)

The family and I did the Ultimate McKay's Road Trip Challenge and had a great time. McKays had clearly prepared, and probably to the capacity that they could've, but the sheer volume of folks participating far outstripped what they were capable of handling according to their original plan and they were working like crazy to pivot as conditions changed from store to store, lines and parking situations became unsafe or unmanageable, and supplies ran out (ink for the stamps, paper for the forms, etc, in addition to the prizes).

Despite all this, and despite the chaos, almost everyone we encountered (and we encountered a lot of folks) was excited to be there, grateful for the store's generosity, and, for those that made it all the way across, elated to have completed it and received the wildly large grand prize.

The grand prize, BTW, was $800 in credit to be used at any of the stores. I've bought hundreds of books over the years from McKays, mostly priced between 75 cents and four dollars; At their prices, $800 is essentially a lifetime supply of used books.

And they didn't have a cap on the number of winners; if you did it, you got it.

The challenge was to celebrate their 50th anniversary, and I hope that the logistical challenges, which were many & staggering (though far moreso for the stores than the participants, save for the heat for those susceptible to it), don't cast a negative light on a branch of bookstores for whom so many thousands and thousands of people have such enthusiasm and affection as to prompt their participation in a 500+ mile cannonball run in the middle of a july worksweek.

I'm sure that the customers wish some things had been done differently and planned for differently, but not nearly as much as do the McKays folks. But this wasn't a Fyre Festival, this was a Woodstock.

Anyway, it was stressful at times, and we fretted over the possibility of its completion, but McKays bent over backwards to try and make it to where if folks were committed to making the whole trek, they got the whole prize. They made tons of allowances as situations changed.

If you haven't been to a McKays, and are ever passing along I-40, I hope that the mania surrounding this event gives makes clear how beloved this shop is to folks who live in Tennessee and North Carolina, and outsiders (like me) who pass, and stop at, it frequently, and makes you wanna see why.

It's the best used bookstore I've ever been to (no individual McKay's store has the scale and scope that does Powell's or the Strand, but their prices are DRAMATICALLY lower than either). I'm incredibly grateful for their prompting and hosting such a great adventure with my fellow readers, and their generosity in prizes in celebration of fifty years.

[xx-vergil-xx]

Can I ask what pushed you to end Hounds the way you did? It's a fantastic ending, but I'm curious. I expected the Fates to revive Dream, or allow him to inhabit a new form (such as one made by Daniel, so that Dream becomes a dreamthing), etc. But instead, his death is made to have never happened. Which makes it partly feels like Hob's whole road trip journey was for nothing since he lost all those memories and connections with Matthew, the Corinthian, Delirium, Despair, Desire, Death, etc. (thank god he kept the farmhouse). But it's almost like he traded all those memories and connections for Dream. Unless I missed something while reading (I was crying very hard).

Again, fantastic ending, and I'm also glad it's a happy ending. But I'm curious as to why you didn't go in the other direction

howdy! thanks very much for the ask — an excellent query, one which i’m happy to answer

(verg of the future: this answer ended up long! there’s a short form at the top here and at the end <3)

in brief: he did make that trade you described! but not strictly for dream — it was the price of swapping genres!

an explanation:

what i had in mind while planning and writing was less the idea of erasure of prior narrative action and more a subversion of the expected genre, in particular the genre tropes that follow dream in the original arc of the comics, where his story is very classically tragic (with the understood weaving of hob into that tragedy, this being a dream/hob telling and all)

for reference, i also drew a lot of inspiration for hob’s road trip odyssey from the aeneid, an epic that is, yes, about the founding of rome but also (at least to my reading) a fundamental tragedy — the cost of founding rome is aeneas’ home, many of his friends, much of his core family, and the very end of the story is not some victorious depiction of the glory of rome to be (which we do get earlier in the book, with the ekphrasis on his shield) but aeneas, overcome with fury and loss, killing a man who begs his mercy. i’ve always felt that the aeneid, while certainly stepped in the expected amount of roman nationalism, is centrally about a single man and his singular suffering as an instrument of higher destiny.

i wanted to model hob’s arc around the aeneid (minus, y’know, some of the chunks that are strictly battle sequences <3) both because intertextuality is a huge part of how i wanted to handle hounds (story about stories, made of other stories, etc), but also because hob and aeneas are fundamentally parallel characters — nomads with exceptional ordinances, permanently displaced by the passing whims of higher powers, men who are made to reckon with both extraordinary wonder and extraordinary tragedy regularly while still, at their core, just being human. that’s what makes aeneas so compelling — he’s just a man. and so is our beloved hob — that’s his whole thing, his whole narrative function and his whole central ideal, humanity

so then, approaching hounds with both the thought of the sandman’s original tragic contours (see: the whole lead-in to daniel. christ above is the way that goes devastating to read) and the man vs fate core of the aeneid, i was considering a lot of things about how to mess around with both notions without gutting them entirely. i tend to dislike tragedies that become un-tragic without some sort of Serious Payment For It (not to say i don’t like happy stories because i very much do! but i get ticked off when high stakes get deflated too quickly) and i didn’t want to undermine the very real fact that the Fates are typically not versed in notions of empathy and/or leniency, and that dream and hob and those around them did experience and endure devastation and loss, and that death is a fact typically immune to argument.

the world of sandman is not one with easy answers, and to my mind there’s no such thing as a bargain with the Fates where you break even. for hob to get what he wanted, something had to be given, something dear and vital and real. there’s more to what hob actually gives the Fates than he verbally stipulates, which i tried to address largely via the corinthian and his perception of the situation, especially those last conversations with dream in the “swamp”. i have a lot of options about the corinthian in his function as “dark mirror” having a blistering clarity of understanding much of the time, which is why i foisted the onus of those complexities onto his dialogue, rather than hob, who (and i say this with love) is a creature of bias and often blinded to greater repercussions of his actions insofar as they extend beyond his immediate objectives/enjoyments, or dream, who can see the bigger picture but i think often really keeps himself from doing so when it comes to anything at all that’s personal (king of stories has a blindspot for his own). what hob gives the Fates actually costs him almost nothing, in the long run, if we operate with the idea that he cannot remember, nor is there any lasting effect from, his 600-ish heavily-relived years. there’s narrative and symbolic weight, of course — he gives them love as an oath and as nostalgia (sidebar: his driving force is an almost pre-nostalgia, a continual love of the moment as the moment is passing, but anyway) (cuff links), he gives them in a captured moment the lovely discomfort and simultaneous brilliance of being alive (the hook, the finger prick the blood), and he gives them a rich and complicated experience of humanity (those 600 years). but practically, what is actually taken from him that he doesn’t just get back?

only those few months — and in them, a web of real and known connections, all of which matter, and all of which change his understanding of and relationship to things like grief, and loneliness, and fear, and forgiveness. those are important changes, real changes, that would affect how he operates in the world going forward. that development is gone. he returns instead to the (of course, fought-for and hard-won) stasis of what was, which becomes what will always be. in making the Fates and their judgement more complex, he has actually made his own life less complex. now, i’m not going to sit here and argue that “suffering has inherent value” or some shit like that because i think that’s bullshit! pain is just pain. but he does lose experiences which would have shaped him in new ways, and, i think, good ways. even important ways

and he may well be shaped towards similar courses with dream (especially re: learning that lesson about loneliness — i think hob suffers from the curse of always, ultimately, being alone (immortality etc there’s so much discourse about this), and the road trip was in part about him learning that though it is the simplest path it is neither the sole nor the best path), but he certainly doesn’t learn them the same way, with the same faces, with the same acuity and clarity and intensity.

the thing with the Fates (to me anyway) is that you don’t ever just win. maybe you can get what you want, but it’s not easy (it make take a thousand repetitions of your lifetime until friction and the touch of your hands wears the sisyphean boulder down to a pebble — like the parable of the bird scraping its beak on the mountain), and it’s sure not free.

so yes, those months are lost. that’s a big part of the price. and we don’t know, at the end, how much of that thing he really gave ultimately comes back — his new relationship depths with deanna or cori or the other endless, those things aren’t seen. the main arc is resolved — hob and dream — but there are still pieces missing. he loses a piece of his human experience, he gets tossed back around through the wringer of his life (which is often distinctly not pleasant), and he is, as he ever was, a character with a path whose impetus and dictation rest heavily on external forces. even in attempting to channel his life elsewhere, he still has to bargain, and is still subject to the choices of the fates, and in some ways the story remains irrevocably a tragedy, in that one way or another it has loss in a central place. in the latter half of hounds hob really became my attempted version of an aeneas type — a man with a quest and a fated directive, a deeply human and flawed individual, who can alter the path and even irrevocably change the genre of his own narrative, but only at cost.

of course let’s be clear! some of all the actual rendering of this ended up as it did partly because i am not always a clean writer, and for that i apologize! but i did genuinely want that sense of gaps — of faces and voices given over to the gravitational well of the principal narrative arc of hob/dream versus the Fates. i think those things are gone. the narrative is forcibly re-centered around hob and dream, and in doing this — in shifting the story genre — other ties and bonds are not just cut, but unwoven entirely. when you change the kind of story you’re telling, the change is done at the expense of something else. kind of like how there’s a fixed amount of matter in the universe? you can’t create or destroy matter — to make something new you have to take from another place. (sidebar: wow i’m realizing something about my fundamental storytelling beliefs right now! laws of physics! anon your ask has really got my cylinders firing, and most sincerely thank you <3)

still, they might come back. though i didn’t write it as fully as i could have (i will freely admit there was a great deal of burnout at play towards the end there), i had a lot of thoughts re: repetition and density, namely that if you stack a thousand repetitions of a lifetime against each other it’s the equivalent of writing a word over and over and over on a page. when you erase it, the channels remain. language flows most naturally in the direction once etched for it. maybe hob learns those same lessons and knows the same people in the same way — maybe he and the corinthian find that odd patch of common ground, maybe he takes a long drive with delirium through rural maryland. maybe there are echoes. maybe even if it is gone what was still shapes the topography. maybe a kindness or a word exchanged still ring out when you can’t see them or remember them. while the milestones of our lives rippled the most visibly, i think we’re shaped a thousandfold ways by accumulations of small things we can’t distinctly remember. only a feeling of a thing, or the negative space it leaves.

well. tl;dr — i didn’t want to let hob get away without actually giving anything up, nor without his choice to bargain affecting others besides himself in equally irrevocable ways (sidebar: at his core is a selfishness that is both charming and ignoble — he wants to do a good thing for dream but also he makes a call that changes a plenitude of lives other than his own, and i don’t think he really asks, he just does — grey areas are his whole gig to me), because nobody makes a deal with the Fates for free, and changing genre has a price tag. it was my effort to make the tone of the whole beast more authentically sandman-esque, since sandman does a lot of that sort of water-muddying, especially when using understood narrative models/archetypes/etc etc

i am. sorry this was as long as it is! jesus! but i’m sending it off all the same. anyways, anon, thanks very much not only for your lovely kind words and the high honor of your tears (no pulitzer could mean more to me than knowing a thing i wrote really moved someone, seriously thank you) but also for giving me a blank check to go buck wild and ramble about my own damn writing and Things I Just Think <3 i hope you have a lovely day/morning/noon/night, and thanks a bunch for dropping by <3 <3 <3

[acourtofquestions]

These Dorian & Rowan chapters are absolute GOLD:

THE BROMANCE (their bro based friendship is unmatched… maybe my fav thus far, I’m just enjoying this so much)

Dorian being Dorian (I needed this after the pain of QoS; like yes, he’s different now (how could he not be?) but in a way that is slowly healing & maybe a little “broken”; but still Dorian; beloved Dorian🥹)

Rowan being Rowan (in a way we have yet to see that honestly is just SUCH Celaena vibes; their sass is unmatched and I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT.)

Dorian FINALLY having someone appreciate him for all he is worth & Rowan being the person to appreciate & respect him for all of his own genius/goodness/loveliness/skills BECAUSE HE HAS THEM (instead of underestimating & not communicating) like THIS MAN (not only has unmatched levels of magic) but he is a diplomat, a war planner, A PROPER KING. He has survived in the shadows a lifetime (living with A VALG PRINCE) and then ACTUALLY LIVING WITH ONE in his brain; yet he remains grounded in morality, fighting for goodness, for his people & all people. He reads people, his empathy & compassion is a power in itself, he knows how to play the game; use the phrases; make deals and wage alliances. He is level headed, he can plan a part, he keeps it together & has a dam good poker face. He is smart, he is quick on his feet. And he is JUST GOOD; he is a good man. A good king. A good… well… HE’S JUST DORIAN. & Rowan has a great ability to see peoples powers & skills, to teach & empower. And THEY needed this.

Because vice-versa Dorian REALLY appreciates Rowan the way he deserves; instead of fearing him, being angry & bringing up hundreds of years of “what if” & “why not”, instead of feeling the need to puff his chest & “prove” something, creating an environment of distrust & disrespect, or just disregarding annoyance; here he is, thanking him, asking to learn, listening & learning, understanding him, speaking of their lives in honesty, seeing what he’s doing & giving up, treating him as an equal not a lesser or a prejudice just a friend. It is refreshing after centuries to meet a good king, a good man.

The way they work together; they have a great natural ease & understanding. They speak & LISTEN. There isn’t a “captain” or wage for leadership, they just both respect & use the other & their own skill set. They are working both for the present, but also building of the future, while piecing together a lot of pain still aching in their past. They make great diplomats but also warriors. Good cop & bad cop. Hilarity of their youth and age. Just this great balance that’s wholesome & entertaining. You really get to see THE Princes. (Though let’s be honest they are THE KINGS).

The two of them managing to GET. SHIT. DONE. Save the king✔️ Escape Rifthold safely✔️ master their skills & magic (before something explosive happens)✔️ secure an army✔️ build alliances✔️ keep tabs on Maeve✔️ plan for Wyrdkeys✔️ finding Ilken Island (I think this is a check) ✔️

And even as the lovely @mysterylilycheeta mentioned they have a friendship based on more than a mutual pining, love, or heartbreak of a female character. They show emotion. And have a genuine friendship. Frankly it’s just refreshing!!

… so while I miss Aelin & Rowan, anxious to see how Aedion & Gabriel play out, needing Manorian’s ship to fly… etc. I also kinda just want the road trip of fun bromance to continue😂🫶

[itsjaywalkers]

Ok I’m curious af so rank your jegulus’s from most kinky to least kinky. If you would like to include examples they are more than welcome but not necessary.

Thank you for your time,

Kink Nonnie

THIS ONE IS SOOOO FUN i'm always down to talk about kink especially if it's related to jeggy <333 and since most of my wips haven't been posted yet i don't wanna give too many examples bc . spoilers . but i can share a few things ofc!! here we go <3

boxer au jeggy. god they're always at the top this is starting to get emabrrassing but it's true !! it's my filthiest james without a doubt and reg is also quite the menace in this one. we're talking exhibitionism vouyeurism edging overstimulation dom/sub dynamics spanking slapping etc etc. james gets aggressive and possessive and reg turns into putty in his hands BUT they also switch and reg absolutely fucks the cockiness out of james until he's a crying writhing mess. but yeah they have no shame and they'd try everything under the sun. also if one of my jeggys had a pissing kink, it'd be them 100%

feeling good jeggy. new entrance!! the 2nd place used to belong to oby BUT i've been . outlining a bit more of this fic and had a few realisations. we're talking corruption kink virginity kink spit kink a bit of exhibitionism and possibly some cnc too!! this james may not be as filthy (sexually wise) as boxer au james buuuuuut he's meaner and a shittier person and he's only here to seduce regulus and steal all his money (at first) so he pulls all the stops <3 they're quite wild and this reg begins as my most "innocent" inexperienced one and ends up becoming . well . something else entirely

oby jeggy. my beloveds <3 we already know most of their kinks by heart, and even though all of my james have some level of oral fixation, oby james wins!! he can come just by eating reg out and he's happy whenever he gets him to sit on his face. they almost never do it in a bed like normal people, or even in either of their flats. the riskier the place, the better, and they're gonna end up traumatising someone at this rate. also <3 kings of the daddy kink <3 i think fucked up road trip jeggy have it too, and probably also boxer au jeggy but they're the blueprint!! especially bc it wasn't even planned in the first place

nothing happens jeggy. they used to be a bit lower but i've realised a few things about them too lately.. their dirty talking goes HARD because nh james needs urgent psychological help (reg too tbh) and he gets very cruel and degrading sometimes. they also have a severe breeding kink and . kinda a cheating kink like . it doesn't start that way but at a certain point i think they find it very hot, the fact that the other is always gonna cheat for them!! or at least reg does, bc we all know james takes a while to realise what he's been doing it's actual cheating. there's also a scene in which james forces reg to call his bf at the time while he's fucking him................... Yeah

fucked up road trip fic jeggy. they're quite kinky but since they're in a life or death situation and surrounded by quite a few ppl and getting some time alone is very difficult . they can never get as kinky as they could in different circumstances yk? they do have a daddy kink and there's quite the age gap!! also the fact that james is married and his son is only like . 5 years younger than reg . which is definitely Something . also the desperation whenever they fuck is at a whole other level bc they come close to dying a few times (and they might actually die at the end of the story.......... i'm still debating it tbh). and also they make out/have actual sex in very vulnerable moments or after someone else has been killed or tortured which is lowkey questionable so

making ghosts jeggy. again at the end </3 my poor babies they deserve better.. nah but seriously this place is mostly due to the fact that it’s my softest story and not as explicit or sex heavy as some of my other stories!! this is my most submissive james without a doubt tho and there’s a lot of begging and teasing and trying to keep quiet when they fuck behind closed door bc they keep their relationship secret for . a While . there’s this scene of sirius talking to james through his bedroom door and very confused bc james won’t let him in while reg is sucking james off on the other side.. so yeah very kinky still <3

[12timetraveler]

Something In The Orange

Chapter 12

Summary:

The Matthews family take you and Charles to their cabin in Big Valley for a winter vacation.

Notes:

Y'all I am SO SORRY for how long this chapter has taken.

I hit some major burnout over the last few months. So much so that I've actually been put on short-term disability leave from work. I'm starting to feel a bit better and I've been able to do more writing, but I'm still pretty worn out if I'm honest.

As always, this chapter was written entirely on my phone, so any weird typos, autocorrect words, etc you can blame on my phone haha.

Anyway I hope I haven't lost all of you who've been here since the beginning.

As always below is a little preview. Read the whole chapter and the entire work (so far) on AO3

Reminder: You must be logged in to an AO3 account to read my works as I've had to lock them down to protect from AI Scraping.

~~~~~~

You couldn't help but smile as you examined the three pins on your Christmas stocking. Three Christmas seasons with the Matthews family, each marked with a little pin. The silver horse-drawn sleigh from the first year. Then a little mouse sleeping next to a piece of cheese with a bow from the second year. And this year was a cowgirl boot and hat dusted in snow.

Christmas was a month ago, of course. Hosea hadn't had time to take down the stockings. Or all the lights. Or the menorah. But you were actually kind of glad about that. It was nice to see the cheerful sight, even in late January.

Going back to campus after the winter holidays this year had been awful. You tried your best to be a good student, to get excited for your classes and get right back into studying. But you found your thoughts drifting more and more to your beloved. Wondering what he was doing. Missing his sweet voice, his herbal scent, his long cock. It had been torture.

Monday was a bank holiday, meaning the high schools and the universities had a three-day weekend. So Friday afternoon you and Arthur drove up to Firwood Rise to pick up Hosea, John, and the horses to go on a little weekend trip. The plan was to go out to a cabin Hosea and Dutch shared out in Big Valley, West Elizabeth.

Aside from a couple ranches, it was still mostly wild, and even in the winter the trail rides were unforgettable. Or so Arthur said. This was your first expedition with the Matthews men out to this cabin. You'd never been to Big Valley, but it was legendary for the beautiful, natural scenery.

Charles was going to meet you at the cabin early Saturday morning, since he had a late class on Friday. His old beat-up truck was a beast when it came to snowy mountain roads, so you weren't worried. And then the lot of you would spend the weekend trail riding, maybe doing some snow sports, just having a good time.

So that's how you found yourself standing in the Matthews living room, smiling at the stockings while the others loaded up the truck. You could hear John and Arthur yelling out in the yard as John backed the truck up to the horse trailer to hitch up. Occasionally Hosea's voice would cut in if the two got too close to an argument as John insisted he could do it while Arthur was adamant he was doing it wrong. Typical of the two brothers.

You heard the truck turn off, and the driver door open. “Told you I had it covered,” John's voice echoed just loud enough that you could hear from inside. You couldn't make out Arthur's retort, but based on the way John began to snap back, only to be cut off by Hosea’s sharp scolding, you could only imagine it was more brotherly banter.

The door opened a moment later. “Those boys,” Hosea tutted, stepping into the house, looking a little irritated, cheeks rosy from the cold. His face softened when he spotted you, and he shut the door behind him, glancing out the window to make sure John and Arthur weren't near before stepping toward you and pulling you into his arms.

“Hey,” you murmured, tilting your head up expectantly.

“Hi,” he whispered before granting your request for a kiss. “I've missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You nuzzled against his chest, the fabric of his jacket cold from the winter chill, but the warmth of him underneath still seeping through.

“The boys are loading up the horses and then we'll be good to go.” Hosea hummed.

“Okay,” you said, stepping back. “Before we go, I need your help with something.”

“Oh?” He asked. You jerked your head towards the stairs, gesturing for him to follow you. Once upstairs you led him to the bathroom, pulling him in and locking the door behind you.

“Dove, it'll only take a few minutes for the boys to get the horses loaded.” Hosea chuckled, immediately clocking what your intentions were.

“Five horses. It'll take them at least ten minutes right? Probably more.” You mumbled, guiding him backwards until he was pinned between you and the sink.

“Something like that,” he sighed as your hands settled on his waist. “The horses are all pretty good at loading.”

“That's enough time for what I have planned.”

[pollenallergie]

The Dunes | e.m.

A/N: Reposting this because I tweaked the ending a lil bit... hehe. Also, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” didn’t come out until 1979, so (realistically), you and Eddie would’ve been almost in high school by the time it came out and, therefore, would not have spent your whole childhood singing along to it. However, it’s my (midwestern) family’s road-trip anthem so I had to include it. Thank you @chainsawmunson for beta-reading this!!! Ily <3

Word Count: 6.0k

CW: Adult themes (cursing, smoking weed, etc.; however, nothing smutty happens nor is anything smutty discussed beyond a brief, undetailed mention! I tried to make this as ace friendly as possible, but please let me know if there's something I can do better next time, in that regard!!).

18+ only!!

mdni

“It’s this exit, right, bunny?” Eddie asks.

“Um,” you pause to look down at the map and then up at the road signs ahead. “Yeah, this one,” you confirm. 

Eddie merges into the correct lane as he resumes his solo performance of Creeping Death, strumming his calloused thumbs along the worn leather of the steering wheel like it’s the strings of his beloved guitar. 

“How close are we now, bug?” Eddie asks. 

You check the map before replying, “54-ish miles.” 

Eddie huffs out a brief chuckle, “Ish?” 

“Yeah, it could be 53 or 54, but it’s definitely not more than 55,” you explain while grinning cheekily. 

“Dude, you’re a horrible navigator,” Eddie teases. 

“Hey, I told you we should’ve brought the guys with us,” you say defensively, though there’s no real bite behind your words. 

“This is probably gonna be our last vacation together, bug, so excuse me for wanting to spend some one-on-one time with my favorite person in all of Indiana,” Eddie remarks dryly. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize Roxanne had finally moved to Chicago,” you tease, referencing the bartender from the Hideout that you suspect he’s had the hots for since Corroded Coffin first started playing there last fall. Not that you’d blame him for being attracted to her; she’s everyone’s type. Roxy may very well be ten years your senior, but she looks like she hopped straight out of the pages of one of Eddie’s Heavy Metal magazines; as a bottle blonde with tan skin, long, slender legs, heaving breasts, and an affinity for red leather, she’s the very definition of the beauty standard.

Eddie rolls his eyes and reaches across the console to gently shove your shoulder as he grumbles, “Shut up.” 

You giggle at his response, but the joyous sound dies in your throat when you remember something Eddie had said previously. 

“Grub, why would this be our last vacation together?” You ask curiously. 

“Because, Jitterbug,” he sighs before continuing, “in a couple of weeks, you’ll be off in Michigan, meeting all sorts of cool people who are into all the same stuff as you, and you’ll forget all about little ole me,” Eddie explains, feigning lightheartedness as he does so. 

“Eddie-” You begin to refute his assumptions, but he soon interrupts. 

“Bunny, it’s fine, really. I mean, we always knew this was gonna happen; you’d go off to some amazing university after high school, and, for one reason or another, I’d have to stay behind in Hawkins. I just wanna soak up the last little bit of time we have together, okay?” 

“Eddie,” you sigh, moving your hand to rest on Eddie’s thigh, only to immediately remove it when you feel his muscles tense underneath your palm. “Eddie,” you start again, this time without the physical contact, “you’re an idiot if you think that moving a couple hundred miles away is really gonna be enough to make me forget about you. Seriously, I can’t even go a week without talking to you. What do you think I’ve been saving up all that change in my piggy bank for? It’s so I have enough quarters to call your dumbass while I’m away at school,” you reassure him while also teasing him a bit to lighten the mood. 

“And here I thought you were saving up to win me that stuffed elephant from the claw machine at Benny’s,” Eddie jests, and you snort at the thought. 

“That thing’s been in there since we were ten, otter. I don’t think winning it is even possible,” You reply. Eddie’s heart flutters fondly at your childhood petname for him, one that even predates Grub, inspired by the time you’d watched a seven-year-old Eddie consume a dozen Otterpops one hot July afternoon.

Eddie grins, “Maybe not for you; you suck at claw machines.”

You scoff, “Dick.” 

“I know you are, but what am I?” Eddie responds immaturely while the both of you fight off matching amused smirks. 

Eddie covertly glances at you out of the corner of his eyes, a bittersweet feeling stirring in his chest. He misses you already, and you haven’t even left yet. Pathetic, he thinks. 

Soon enough, the next track on Eddie’s road trip mixtape begins to play, and a grin lights up your features as the sound of Charlie Daniels’s voice fills the entire van. 

Eddie begins to sing along to The Devil Went Down to Georgia, the song the two of you had spent the better half of your childhoods singing along to, thanks to Wayne. And just like that, any and all thoughts of your impending departure are gone. 

Just a little under an hour later, the two of you arrive at Dunewood. After an essential stop at the campground’s convenience store for some ice cream sandwiches, you’re ready to set up camp. You and Eddie have come here every summer since you were small, but it’s different this time. This time, it’s just you and Eddie, as Wayne couldn’t come along due to a busy schedule at work. Getting up here was quite a feat given that Beverly Shores is quite a ways away from Hawkins and that, between the two of you, you guys have absolutely zero sense of direction once you get out of Hawkins. However, unpacking your equipment and setting up camp should be a breeze, as you both have prior experience with setting all of this crap up, thanks to the fact that Wayne always made the two of you help him set up camp. 

Although, what should be the case and what actually is the case, apparently, aren’t always aligned. 

“Dude, are you helping me or what?” You huff out frustratedly as you attempt to haul the packed-away tent out of the back of Eddie’s van on your own. Meanwhile, your less-than-helpful best friend is reclining in the front seat, still munching away on his melting ice cream sandwich. The sticky sweet ice cream is dripping down onto his beloved Black Sabbath band tee, making a mess in a way that might be goofily adorable if he were a toddler, but, alas, he’s a man, a messy man, but a man nonetheless. 

“Mhm, yeah, I’ll be there in a second,” he replies nonchalantly before turning up the radio’s volume as if attempting to drown out the sounds of your complaining with Rob Halford’s eerie growls. He begins to headbang to the rowdy music, further solidifying that he will not get out of the van to help you anytime soon. 

You groan exasperatedly as you lug the heavy tent closer to the stone fire pit while managing to keep it a reasonable distance from where a hearty fire will rage on later in the night. As you squat down to unzip the bag the tent is kept in for storage, you unknowingly bless your dear best friend with a marvelous view of your denim-clad ass, the fat there causing the fabric to strain to the point where it looks as if your favorite pair of jean shorts may rip right along the tight seam. 

As he finishes off the last of his ice cream sandwich, Eddie resists the urge to continue ogling you, instead averting his gaze and opting to focus all of his attention on staring aimlessly out the windshield of his van while thinking about truly horrid shit in an attempt to prevent a tent of his own from forming in his jeans. Fortunately, that tried and true strategy never fails him. Unfortunately, it does require him to think about the time he had to dissect a fetal pig in junior-year biology; if Eddie thinks about it for too long, he swears he can still smell the formaldehyde along with the scent of his lab partner’s raging B.O. 

Once Eddie’s reigned his inner horndog back in, he turns the key in the van’s ignition, fully turning off the vehicle, before climbing out of the driver’s seat to finally offer you some help with setting up camp. 

“Alright, alright,” Eddie huffs humorously, “Give that to me before you break it,” he teases, referring to the poles of the tent that you’re trying to snap together. You briefly pause your attempts to glare at him. 

“I’m not gonna break it, asshole,” you reply bitterly before finally managing to snap the pieces together. Once you do so, you look up at Eddie and fix him with a victorious grin. 

“Why don’t you start the fire so we can eat dinner when we finish setting up all this stuff?” You suggest before fixing your friend with a mischievous smile and continuing, “Leave the hard stuff to the men, sugar.” 

Eddie scoffs at your teasing but heeds your request nonetheless, going to fetch the firewood your dad had reluctantly given him, some logs cut from the unfortunate trees that weren’t good enough to sell at the farm this past Christmas season. 

“Leave the hard stuff to the men, sugar,” he mumbles in a silly tone, clearly mocking you as he grabs a couple of logs from the van, causing you to cackle. Eddie scowls and blushes, mildly embarrassed as he wasn’t aware that you could hear his mockery from your spot across the campsite. The expression on his face only makes you laugh harder, and you don’t stop until Eddie gets petulant and throws one of the towels he’d brought for the beach at you. 

After that playful spat, you both fall into a comfortable silence, too concentrated on your respective tasks to hold a conversation with each other. It isn’t until Eddie has successfully set up the fire and starts getting the food you’d both prepared ahead of time out that either one of you speaks again.

“Hey, Grub?” You call out to him from your spot near the still partially unassembled tent. Eddie responds with a soft hum as he continues to rifle through the cooler he’d filled with food and drinks. 

“Don’t put the food on yet. The tent’s still not ready yet,” you inform him. 

Eddie then shuts the cooler with an annoyed huff, leaving the food inside the chilled box as he comes over to join you. 

“It would be if you would’ve just let me take care of it,” he nags as he squats down to help you finish setting up the tent. 

You scoff, “Yeah, right, it would’ve taken you twice the amount of time just to figure out how to put this shit together simply because you refuse to read instruction manuals.” 

“Incorrect,” Eddie defends himself, “it would’ve taken me half the time to put this shit together because I wouldn’t have wasted so much time reading the pointless instructions.” 

“Says the man who just put our rainfly on before the tent body,” you tease as you stand up and strip the bright blue fabric off the tent. 

“Does it really matter what order we put this shit on? I mean, so long as it’s on there, we’re good, right?” Eddie asks, standing up with his hands on his hips as he assesses the situation, discerning what’s left to do. The shit-eating grin on his face tells you he’s not being serious and is just trying to rile you up by being intentionally obtuse. So, rather than dignify his question with an answer, you simply fix him with an annoyed glare and then attempt to put the tent body on by yourself. Eddie chuckles at your terse expression as he begins to help you. 

Finally, a few moments later, the two of you have set up your tent, leaving you to put your sleeping bags and pillows inside and set up the chairs near the fire as Eddie gets to work on cooking up a couple of foil burgers over the fire; a Munson family recipe and camping essential that’s really nothing more than a beef patty resting on top of a bed of potatoes and a few veggies inside a tinfoil cocoon. 

You still remember the first time you’d had such a delicacy during your first camping trip with the Munsons. You were absolutely ravenous, having just got back to camp with Wayne and Eddie after spending all day at the beach, your hair still wet from swimming around in the chilly waters of Lake Michigan and the baby tooth you’d lost while wrestling around in the sand with Eddie nestled in the patch pocket of Wayne’s flannel. As a result of your profound hunger, the easy dinner Wayne had prepared for the three of you tasted like the single greatest thing you’d ever eaten in all your eight years of life. Although, even now, when you finally bite into your burger after Eddie gets done making them, hungry but not at all starving thanks to the sweet treat you’d wolfed down earlier, that simple dish still tastes like one of the most delicious things you’ve ever eaten, the gooey cheese coating your tongue as you munch away happily. 

As for Eddie, he seems to agree about the delectableness of the foil burgers if the moan he emits as he bites into his burger is any indication. You giggle at the sound, feeling your cheeks heat up all the while. Always so dramatic, you think fondly. 

“We’ve really outdone ourselves this time, bug,” Eddie declares. You hum your agreement as you bite into a crispy chunk of potato. 

“The dried rosemary was a good touch. Where’d you get that anyways?” You ask him once you’ve swallowed your bite of starchy goodness. 

He grins around his mouthful of food, “Stole a jar of it from the pantry at Gareth’s place after I got done fixin’ the kitchen sink for his mom yesterday.” 

“Eddie!” You scold him. 

“What? I’ll bring it back Saturday when we have band practice. Lorraine’ll never even know it was missing,” he reasons. 

You simply shake your head at him disapprovingly while trying to fight off an amused smile, “You’ve gotta get those sticky fingers in check, Grub.” 

Later in the night, as you both lounge in your tent, sharing a joint to help you relax before you go to sleep, your mind races with fretful thoughts about going to college in a few weeks. 

“Eds,” you softly call out from just beside him, your head resting on his shoulder and his on yours as you lay with your bodies extended in opposite directions. 

“Yeah, bug?”

“No one’s ever- I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” you confess, your inhibitions lowered as the high sets in. 

Eddie snorts a laugh, amused by your randomness rather than your inexperience, “Yeah, I know, Jitterbug.” 

“What if I meet someone at school, and they kiss me?” You worry aloud. Eddie’s chest tightens at the thought, but he does his best to ignore it. 

“Then you’ll have your first kiss, duh,” he remarks simply as if the mere thought of you kissing someone - anyone - but him doesn’t make him want to cry and hurl simultaneously. 

“Yeah, I know, but what if it’s bad because… because I don’t know what I’m doing?” You ask, after rolling over to look into his doe eyes, your face hovering above his as your arms hold you up above him. Your breath smells like Kraft singles and Skunk #1, but Eddie can’t find it in himself to care; he’s just happy to have you so close to him. 

“First kisses are usually bad, silly billy,” Eddie giggles, the powers of the Dutch strain making him giddy even though his heart is aching just from hearing you talk about this shit. 

“But I don’t want mine to be bad,” you reply, your tone bordering on petulant as your brows furrow and your lips pout just slightly, “what if the guy I’m with gets weirded out by how bad I am at it and like never speaks to me ever again?” 

“Then that’s his loss, Jitterbug,” Eddie says without missing a beat. 

You sigh and sit up, shoulders hunching in slightly as you pout. 

“God, what if he does the opposite and tries to, you know, touch me?” You ponder, unintentionally breaking your best friend’s heart. Eddie’s sure that the knowledge of anyone but him touching you like that would devastate him.

“If- if that’s not something you’d be comfortable with, then just tell him,” he reasons. 

“But what if he doesn’t listen to me? My sister says that sometimes guys don’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” you reply, and Eddie’s jaw clenches at the thought. 

“Then I’ll kill him,” Eddie replies genuinely, causing you to burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Grub, you can’t even kill the spider that’s been camped out in your room for the past two weeks,” you tease, and Eddie frowns in response.

“That’s different. Guillermo and I have come to a mutual understanding, he kills the flies, and I don’t kill him,” Eddie replies defensively, and your giggles increase tenfold upon finding out that he’s named the damn thing. 

“You’re adorable, Eddie Bear,” You remark once your giggles have ceased. As you wipe the tears of amusement out of your eyes, you miss the blush that rises to Eddie’s cheeks. 

“Shut up,” he grumbles as he hands you the joint. You accept it gracefully as you take a hit, exhale, and then take another. Meanwhile, Eddie’s mesmerized by the sight of your lips wrapping around the joint, as if it’s a sight he hasn’t seen hundreds of times already. He’s immediately snapped out of his trance when you hand the joint back to him, your fingers brushing against his as you hand it over, still holding in the last puff you’ve taken. 

As you finally exhale your last hit, a brilliant idea comes to mind, or at least one that seems clever in your current state. 

“You should be my first kiss,” you suggest, making Eddie choke on the puff of smoke he’s just inhaled. 

“What? Me?” Eddie asks incredulously in between bouts of coughing. 

“Yeah, if you’re cool with it,” you respond nonchalantly as you grab the joint from him. 

“No, no, no, I think you’ve had enough for tonight, space cadet,” Eddie remarks as he plucks the joint from between your fingertips. 

“How do you feel, bug?” Eddie had asked you the first time you got high. 

“‘M so high, I think I could touch the stars up here,” you’d groaned, making Eddie chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, space cadet, I’ll be your ground control,” he’d reassured you. 

You whine, “Eddie, I’m not even that high.” 

“Of course, you’re not,” Eddie replies sarcastically as he stubs out the joint, opting to save the rest for tomorrow morning. 

“Eddie, it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you say as you timidly pick at the loose threads of your sleeping bag, “kiss me, I mean. It’s okay if you don’t wanna kiss me,” you clarify. 

Eddie sighs, knowing you’re not gonna let this go very easily. His mind races with thoughts of you kissing him, and his heart lurches at the idea that you’d even want to kiss him, but he also knows it’s too good to be true. You don’t actually want this, at least not with him; you’re just high and lonely. You’re too amazing and angelic; you could never want a freak like him, not in the same way he wants you. 

“How about you ask me again in the morning, okay?” Eddie offers placatingly as he climbs into his sleeping bag, saying anything he can to get you to drop this, to stop torturing him. 

Eddie’s not leaving any room for argument as he rolls over to face the opposite direction before shutting off the lantern. You sigh before climbing into your own sleeping bag and getting comfy. 

“Goodnight, Eddie,” you whisper tentatively, worrying that you’ve upset him. 

“Goodnight, bunny.” 

The following day is awkward, to say the least. The fresh air the wooded campground provides is nice, or it would be if it wasn’t filled with unbearable tension thanks to last night’s events. 

Eddie won’t even look at you, hasn’t spared you so much as a single glance since the two of you first woke up at around 9 a.m., nearly two hours ago. Granted, he’s not being outwardly hostile or anything like that. Instead, Eddie just won’t look at you, won’t speak to you in more than short sentences and noncommittal hums, and hasn’t touched you at all since last night when his fingers brushed yours as you exchanged the shared joint repeatedly. Usually, he would’ve talked your ear off about some new music by now, most likely the new Metallica album, or even about the latest drama plaguing the Hellfire club; surprisingly, a lot of juicy gossip comes out of that group. If the present circumstances were normal, Eddie also would’ve definitely exploited the many unintentional openings you’d given him this morning by tackling you to the ground or putting you in a half-nelson by now. However, he hasn’t done either of those things and, if his tense body language is anything to go off of, you figure he probably won’t be doing any of those things any time soon. How strange is it that you’ve begun to miss how Eddie playfully wrestles with and pesters you? How pathetic is it that you’ve started to yearn for how he carelessly flings you around like a ragdoll in an ornery display of his shocking strength?

“What time are we heading to the beach?” You ask meekly as you continue to pick at the Zingers Eddie had gotten you from the campground’s convenience store earlier this morning. At least he’d still gone out of his way to get your favorite breakfast-adjacent junk food. That had to be a good sign, right? 

“Dunno,” he replies gruffly and then shrugs his shoulders as he takes another puff of his cigarette, his gaze still fixed on the sparse grass beneath his Reeboks. 

“Maybe we could head out there in like an hour?” You suggest, your tone still timid and unsure, “That way, we could grab lunch on the way there. I just- I don’t think three Zingers will hold me over for the rest of the day. Not that I don’t appreciate that you got them for me, because I do! It’s just-”

Eddie cuts you off with another short, gruff response, “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

You frown at his dismissive tone. Had you really pushed things too far last night? Was the idea of kissing you so bad that even the mere suggestion of it had gotten Eddie this upset? 

When you first woke up this morning, you were mortified by the memory of what you’d said to your friend last night. Now, his sudden indifference toward you only amplifies that feeling of humiliation. 

This is only day two of what’s supposed to be a week-long trip, and you’re not sure if you can survive several more days of this trip, not if things will continue being this tense between you and Eddie. So, you decide to repress your shame in favor of making peace. After all, only a couple weeks after you get home from this trip, your dad will drive you up to Ann Arbor to move into your new dorm room for your first semester at college. You’re unsure if your friendship with Eddie could survive the distance, not with this lingering hostility creating such a harsh divide between you two. 

“Look, Eds,” you sigh, swallowing down what’s left of your pride as you prepare to grovel, to plead for your friendship to remain unchanged after last night’s blunder, “I’m sorry about last night, about asking you to… to kiss me. I mean- fuck- Grub, I’m really sorry for bringing it up and making shit weird between us. I promise I’m not, like, harboring some freakish little crush on you or anything like that. I just- I wanted you to be my first kiss because,” you pause with a quivering sigh, thinking better of your impending confession, “You know what? That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’m sorry, really fucking sorry, and I just wanna go back to the way things were before I said any of that stupid crap, okay? I just wanna enjoy our trip. I wanna have fun doing moronic bullshit in the woods with my best friend, the same way we always do every summer. Do you think we can do that? That we can just go back to the way things were? Please?”

Eddie sighs, dragging the palm of his hand harshly down his face until it reaches his jaw, where it then remains, kneading the muscles there as if to relieve the tension. His soulful brown eyes flicker up to meet yours just briefly before his gaze falls back to the ground. He finally breaks the silence, quietly asking, “Why me? Why d’ya wanna kiss me?” 

The question catches you off guard, so much so that you almost think you’d misheard him when he asked it. You can only think to reply with a surprised, breathy, “What?”

“Why did you want to kiss me, bug?” Eddie reiterates.

Your brows furrow, your nose scrunching up as you ponder and carefully plan your reply, not wanting to give too much away, wanting to keep your cards clutched close to your chest. You finally come up with an honest response and, most importantly, one that omits some of the more embarrassing details. You tug on the inside of your lower lip with your teeth, wriggling the flesh between your incisors, working up the courage to answer his question before sighing and eventually replying, “Because I trust you, Eddie. Because I know you won’t take things too far or do anything to make me uncomfortable.”

Eddie’s leg bounces as he considers your answer. “That’s all?” He asks suddenly, once again catching you off guard. 

“Wha- What d’you mean?” You curiously inquire, wearing your confusion plainly on your features. 

“That’s it? That’s the only reason why?” Eddie questions, his gaze intense, alight with an emotion you can’t place.

“I mean,” you trail off, your leg bouncing in tandem with Eddie’s, though not intentionally. “Yeah, kind of,” you lie. 

Unfortunately, Eddie still doesn’t look entirely convinced, and that makes you nervous. You huff out frustratedly, wringing your hands together and carefully thinking over your words before speaking. 

“Grub, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve never once in my whole life kissed someone, so, yeah, at this point, I’m pretty fucking desperate. Hell, I think I’d kiss just about anyone,” you ramble, slightly exasperated. 

I think I’d kiss just about anyone. 

You don’t mean it as an insult, you don’t mean to hurt Eddie’s feelings, he knows you don’t, but it still stings something fierce. 

“Look, Eds, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, so if you’re not-”

Eddie interrupts you, not that he’s truly listening to how you’re trying, in vain, to walk back your previous statements anyways. No, Eddie’s too busy thinking about if he is actually going to go through with this. He bluntly asks, “Just one kiss?” 

Those three words halt you in your tracks, making your breath hitch. You miraculously manage to collect yourself and come up with a coherent response. 

“Yeah,” you reply in a tone that’s gentle and airy, soft and breathy like a sigh, “just one.” 

“I’ll do it,” Eddie swiftly asserts, taking you both by surprise. “I mean, um, I’ll- I’ll help you, but you gotta promise me something first, ’kay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, anything, Grub, of course,” you agree far too eagerly, making a swirling mass of embarrassment sink down heavily into the pit of your stomach. All the while, your voice is still soft and quiet, nothing more than a susurration.

“You gotta promise me you won’t let this change things between us, bug. Okay? I can’t lose-” Eddie cuts himself off with a shaky, anxious exhale, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as he attempts to reign in his emotions. He wants to tell you that if he ever lost you again, like he did in the summer of 1980, he wouldn’t be able to survive it; Eddie’s not really sure how he survived it last time. However, Eddie’s too afraid to tell you that, too scared of what that implies, and infinitely more scared of how you’d react to that implication. So, he drops his hands from his face, opting to pick at his nail beds to keep his fidgety fingers busy, as he continues, “I’m just helping you out, alright? So, just- You gotta promise that you won’t start acting all weird around me or, um, start avoiding me again, or whatever.” 

You frown at the sentiment, briefly looking back on those two years you’d spent without Eddie in high school. You were an idiot back then, avoiding the one person, the only one of your peers, who’d ever shown you genuine kindness, just because he’d gotten a little mean and said some things that had hurt your feelings during a heated exchange, what’s worse is they were things you’d desperately needed to hear. You gently shake your head as if to rid yourself of any and all memories of that lonely time in your life before looking into Eddie’s eyes and earnestly swearing, “I won’t, Grub. Nothing will change between us, I promise.” 

Things truly won’t change between the two of you; you’ll make sure of that. Eddie will never find out about the love you pathetically harbor for him, and, most importantly, you’ll never shut him out again. Even when he settles down one day with someone who isn’t you, maybe marries them and has a couple kids with them, you’ll still be his best friend, no matter how much it hurts, and you’ll make damn sure that Eddie never finds out how much it hurts you. 

Eddie can hear the unwavering sincerity in your voice, can see it in your gaze, and it makes him smile softly, a warm expression you cannot help but reciprocate. 

“Okay,” he breathes, his tone wavering as he rubs his sweaty palms on the rough denim of his jeans. “Just, um, c’mere… If you want to, I mean,” he stammers awkwardly. You’d probably chuckle at his apparent nervousness if you weren’t feeling the same way right now. Instead, you simply get up out of your lawn chair, rise to your feet, and trek across the short distance between the two of you. You then lower yourself to sit down in the grass in front of Eddie, who promptly lowers his legs, his knees no longer tucked up against his chest as he now sits tailorwise, or criss-cross-applesauce, as you both call it. You sit in the same position, your knees pressed against his own as you mirror him. 

Eddie tentatively leans forward, bridging the gap between you two, as one of his large, warm hands rises to hover over one of your shoulders for a brief moment before he finally gets the courage to lower it so that it rests there. With his other hand, he takes a much bolder step, lifting his arm and hesitantly reaching up to brush his calloused fingertips against the soft, smooth skin of your cheek before finally cupping it in his palm. 

“Is this okay?” He asks you quietly, like he’s afraid that speaking more loudly than a mere whisper will frighten you and scare you off. You nod your affirmative as your hands slowly move forward to rest on his denim-clad thighs, just above his knees. That contact makes Eddie’s breath hitch, but you both elect to ignore it for reasons unbeknownst to each other. 

Eddie then leans in further, his bulbous nose gently brushing against yours with purpose, effectively warning you and giving you a chance to stop him. However, you do the opposite. “Eds, please, kiss me,” you whisper. 

It’s all the encouragement Eddie needs. He closes the gap between the two of you, his lips finally meeting yours. You try to reciprocate as best as you can, but you’re, admittedly, a little lost. You’re overthinking things, Eddie can tell. He pulls away far sooner than he would’ve liked to and then presses a comforting kiss to the corner of your mouth, by one of your smile lines that he loves so much. 

“I wasn’t good, was I?” You grimace, your forehead still resting against his. “Please, you can tell me. I just wanna know what to do, Ott.” 

Eddie licks his lips before hesitantly replying, “When you, um,” he clears his throat, “the next time that you kiss someone, try not to purse your lips so much,” he winces, both at the thought of you kissing someone else and out of fear that he’s been too harsh. 

“I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do when you kiss someone?” Eddie thinks your puzzled expression is far too adorable to be legal. 

“You are! You are, a little bit, I mean. Just not quite so much; you gotta relax your um- your mouth a little bit,” Eddie blushes, thoroughly flustered. As usual, you’re oblivious to his plight, too caught up in your own mind. 

Your brows furrow as you stare at his chin absentmindedly, mind racing a million miles an hour all the while, “S-so how much should I purse them then?” 

Eddie thinks it over. “It’s hard to explain,” he sighs. 

“Could you, you know, show me?” You ask. “I mean, if you’re comfortable kissing me again.” 

Little do you know, Eddie would gladly give up both of his kidneys if it meant he got to kiss you again. Needless to say, he’s pretty stoked that he gets to do it without having to endure a double nephrectomy. 

He nods, answering wordlessly, before leaning in again, connecting your lips once more. You make sure to pay attention to what he’s doing, to how it feels, so you can mirror it. You relax your mouth a bit, your lips not quite as pursed as before, and Eddie sighs his approval. That sound sets your whole body alight with tingly, little fireworks.

You both get caught up in the moment, in the feeling of finally acting on the desires you’ve both spent years repressing. Consequently, when Eddie nips at your bottom lip, and you respond with a gasp that he can only describe as sinful, he doesn’t even try to resist the urge to take advantage of the momentary part in your lips. You pull back abruptly, primarily out of shock, when you feel his tongue slip through the gap. Eddie winces at the loss. 

“Shit, sorry,” he apologies gruffly, comfortingly rubbing your upper arms on instinct, soothing you. 

You let out an easy, breathy giggle as you ease back into his space, resting your forehead gently against his own. “It’s okay. You surprised me, that’s all. Just, um, warn me next time, okay?” 

Warmth blossoms in both of your chests at the thought of getting to kiss each other again. Eddie lets out a gentle chuckle of his own as he moves his other hand up to cup your other cheek, feeling the warmth alight beneath the soft skin there too.

“Next time?” Eddie questions with a nervous grin, mentally berating himself for daring to question you because, in his eyes, you’re practically offering your lips up to him on a silver platter, and he’s about to make you second guess that monumental decision. 

“Yeah,” you let out the prettiest little sigh, “I feel like I have a lot left to learn, and, well, you seem like a pretty good teacher. I mean, if you don’t mind kissing me again, that is,” you look into his eyes hopefully. Eddie feels his smile grow wider at the sight of your sanguine expression. 

Eddie offers his whispered reassurance while gently nudging the tip of your nose with his own, “I don’t mind.” 

Needless to say, you two won’t make it to the beach today.

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Side Note: Please don't feel like you're weird if you're older than 18 and still haven't had your first kiss yet!! I literally haven’t had my first kiss yet and I’m 21 years old. We all do things at our own pace and in our own time, so, trust me, you're not weird at all if you're an adult (of any age) who hasn't been kissed yet!!

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[tankclub]

how would you rate the expansions so far?

it really depends on the criteria. overall i think that ffxiv has gotten better with every expansion, even if i dont always like all of the changes.

more details and rambling under the cut

ok so i broke it out into a few different categories, and i'll rate the expansions on each one:

X.0 MSQ

stormblood

endwalker

shadowbringers

a realm reborn

heavensward

here I'm just talking about the basic MSQ as it launched for the expansion. I put stormblood much higher than most people because I loved the lesbian road trip arc and I loved the azim steppe. the expansion certainly has flaws, but the strong points were really strong.

endwalker tops shadowbringers for me because the elpis section was the only thing that really got me to care about the ancients/ascians, and i think it was necessary context for the whole story arc of the game thus far. endwalker has some issues with pacing and with weakness in the downtime sections (and they clearly didnt know what to do with garlemald, a casualty of the game's shift in focus around shadowbringers).

the others i think are relatively straightforward. i've posted in the past about how i dont like the heavensward story, i think that it kind of botches its themes and the writers got too horny for killing women (in this case ysayle) to tell a good story. it also absolutely squanders the 2.5/55 setup with the ul'dah stuff.

Patch MSQ (X.1, X.2, etc.)

endwalker

a realm reborn

heavensward

shadowbringers

stormblood

endwalker is miles ahead in this category. although its patch story has weaknesses, being able to tell a whole coherent story from 6.1-6.5, without having to have the weird "second climax" for the X.0 story in X.3, puts it ahead of the competition.

ARR scores highly mainly because of just how well the banquet/ul'dah/crystal brave stuff hits. they wasted all of these story threads in heavensward, but especially at the time they absolutely worked.

heavensward makes third because i think it's the only expansion that really made the "x.3 climax" actually work, which is partly down to how the themes of the story worked with "oh and theres more even after you win the climactic battle".

shadowbringers is pretty low for me because i think that its a casualty of the change in narrative leadership. elidibus had been being set up as "the ascian you will talk to", so introducing emet to take that role left him kind of at loose ends. ive played the patch storyline several times to try and understand why people love it so much, and it just never landed for me.

stormblood patch story is the worst this game has ever been. i would put it lower than last if i could

Raids and Jobs

I kinda combined the experience of endgame play into one category, so I'm rating both job design and raid quality here. as the devs said recently, these things are linked, so i didnt think it made sense to separate them. more than the other categories i think this one is influenced by my personal circumstances

shadowbringers

endwalker

heavensward

a realm reborn

stormblood

shadowbringers takes the top spot for my favorite job design (in my beloved shb summoner), a top-class raid series in eden, and the best ultimate raid in TEA.

endwalker i think is really good and a step forward in many ways, but i think the issues with the centralization around 2m burst and inflation of boss hitbox size hold it back from the top spot for me. however, i do like a lot of the additions like criterion, and i hope they continue a lot of what theyve done in this expansion.

i had to put heavensward above arr because it's a straightforward continuation of arr, and also had my second favorite job design in the history of this game (in heavensward warrior, which was broken, goofy, and always fun). also alexander is a fantastic raid, even though coil is more nostalgic for me personally.

stormblood takes the last spot because i didnt enjoy the way the jobs played during that expansion, and mostly skipped it. i was unsubbed for a substantial portion of it, and really only started playing again in the leadup to shadowbringers. possibly i should leave it off this list altogether, simply because i couldnt have evaluated it properly.

Overall

so, i if i combine all of those ratings (weighted equally), i end up with:

endwalker

shadowbringers

a realm reborn

tie between stormblood and heavensward

which i think summarizes my opinions fairly nicely, although as you can see each of the expansions has their strengths.

overall im very excited for dawntrail, and i think it has the potential to be (and likely will be) the best expansion the game has had to date.

[iantimony]

oopsie, two missed tuesdays!

and i almost missed this one too!!!! i was moving apartments. ough. this is a random mishmash of everything i remember of the past .. three ?? ??? weeks.

listening: finished s1 of the silt verses! faulkner is my poor little meow meow etc. i am rotating it in my brain. will have more thoughts next week probably.

some fugazi because they were referenced in a mina le video on merch and i was intrigued. they're good!

fugazi waiting room

brat charli xcx on recommendation of beloved mutual png jpeg. i liked it, i don't normally go for her style but there's some good earworms in here. really good gym album. not sure which specific song to drop here because it was a Full Album experience imo.

in terms of relistening/older stuff, the dear hunter antimai, more franz ferdinand. finally listened to sound & fury by sturgill simpson all the way through, it's really good. boyf also got me to listen to die antwoord and ohhh i do like this. a lot.

i fink u freeky (die antwoord)

also more bionicle playlist. it's just a dose of early 00's-10's music delivered via iv directly into my bloodstream. sorry.

reading: this was from a few weeks ago actually but i forgot about it. we stopped over in pittsburgh for a night and briefly entertained the idea of going to a museum or something road-trip style and found this museum review. surprisingly she is not a lesbian.

and then related to the watching, wikipedia pages for victor ninov and darleane c hoffman!

watching: mina le: the merch industry has gone too far, WAGs, blokecore, and the “feminization” of sports

swell entertainment: the marketability of celebrity eras, how to destroy your audience's trust

started dangelo wallace's ozempic video. the fatphobia had me tapping out pretty quick tho. also watched about half of joy achill's "the george r r martin problem" about asoiaf stuff, gonna finish it tomorrow i think

watched "the man who tried to fake an element" with the boyf, really fascinating, i knew a little bit of it from one of my undergrad classes but this was a really good deep dive.

also watched two episodes of space dandy with the boyf. so much to unpack there.

playing: more dnd but otherwise fallow. made a little dungeon crawl type thing so that's pretty straightforward.

making: coasters mostly right now! the main ones are a Surprise so i will not be posting them yet. instead look at my worm

i've also started knitting a magic the gathering card sleeve as a semi-gag gift for a friend. it's really really stupid i love it so much. it is just ten rows of a rectangle in stockinette right now but i'm going to mock up a little texture work to get the swamp land symbol in the back.

eating: did a lot of takeout right after moving because, Yeah, but i finally started settling back in to home cooked meals. made my favorite orzo salad for a temple potluck, an ungodly amount of gyudon, and a garlic butter shrimp pasta thing.

misc: my new apartment is good!! the insulation isn't great, i know i'll have to shrinkwrap some windows this winter for Sure, but overall i'm settling in. i have a lot of organization and purging to do, especially of my House Clothes, craft supplies, and makeup/beauty shit, and i need to get one or two pieces of furniture still (like a couch......i have a funny little bachelor chair in front of the couch right now which is very funny). i got myself some fun plants from the farmers market as a housewarming gift to myself. i am finally the owner of a monstera, yippee, she Really needs a repot though. i also got a hoya lisa because i liked the name and it was cute and cat friendly and i got a vaguely labia-adjacent succulent. i have so many little household Needs and Tasks (mat for in front of the sink! blackout curtains because i have to sleep with an eye mask right now because the blinds dont do shit! etc!) and also every grocery bill i do is like $100 because of getting kitchen essentials that will not run out any time soon but that i do need (white vinegar. aluminum foil. flour.) so everything is so expensive. this is a big wall of text. at least the spare mattress is out of my weird haunted hallway now <3 i'm very excited to start hanging up my art.

[tavina-writes]

I'm going to ask you for LoCH trash answers! 10, 11, 14 and 16

ooooo LOCH!! :DDDD

10. what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship, etc)

hmmm WELL I have always been fond of A-Heng Parrot Coma from 83. Which, okay to explain A-Heng Parrot Coma, we must first understand that Feng Heng (HYS's wife) is NOT 100% dead in 83 canon. Instead, she is just in a terrible coma that he has been planning to rescue her from in time for the JingRong wedding even for the past 15-16 years. And here he is, working hard to actually revive beloved A-Heng! Except! OYF invades the island to kill JingRong for #reasons and uhhh upon hearing Rong'er scream outside he abandons his wife to go save his daughter, screams like a demented madman while beating off OYF, and uhhh then has a bit of a mental breakdown about the now 200% dead A-Heng. For the record, Huang Rong thinks A-Heng is the name of her dad's beloved pet parrot who also died during this whole thing so she gets him another not talking parrot that she pretends is A-Heng to cheer him up. How HYS has not yet lost his mind and destroyed the island yet is ??? to me, BUT don't worry! there's more! Huang Rong discovers her mom's dead corpse and he has to tell Rong'er that actually, he was just a fucking lunatic who claimed mom was alive for all these years instead of telling Rong'er that she was dead, at which point Huang Rong has a meltdown and yells about how she HATES IT and would rather have just known THE TRUTH, and it's okay stop being deranged dad, lets actually bury mom all nice okay?

AS YOU CAN SEE this is my CATNIP I'm insane about this. I think it would improve the deranged HYS situation from the book if this were canonized. 83 HYS in general is just like the writer room's soggiest meow meow and they were all HYS apologists so canonizing their various antics would've been hilarious. 2 me. If we can't canonize the whole of A-Heng Parrot Coma, I propose we canonize that situation in 83 where HYS is trying to figure out where Rong'er is from Zhou Botong by asking him "where is my daughter???" and ZBT saying "oh how should I know where your daughter is?" to the whole audience of WYHL's ship. "You only have like, 10 thousand bastard hellions!" a situation that HYS is too deranged at the moment to disapprove.

11. what is your most sinful headcanon

my most sinful LOCH headcanon is actually proven in ROCH the sequel and that is that OYF and Hong Qigong should be shipped together. (For the record, they die laughing in each other's arms bc Qigong finally got OYF to remember who the hell he was again after several decades of insanity so I feel like this ship is already canon. To me. In my heart. It can't be disproven!)

14. What is ur crackiest crack ship

My crackiest crack ship is probably that Mei Chaofeng and Bao Xiruo should've been together. Maybe this would've fixed Yang Kang. And also let them leave WYHL behind. As is their right.

16. what is ur favourite ridiculous au

Hmmm this is something that @autumnslantern and I call "95% high school au" wherein most of the story takes place in the China part of LOCH, but I think it's definitely the situation where Huang Rong and Ke Zhen'e take an EXTENDED road trip towards Mongolia to find Guo Jing together because they're being chased by Yang Kang and OYF! Fun times!

:DDD thanks for the ask! I have lots of feelings about LOCH for sure.

[melting-houses-of-gold]

20 fic writer questions

thanks for the tag @snips2112; and I'm tagging @theblueeyedfirebender, @chocmarss, and @climbthemountain2020

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13

2. What's your A03 word count?

114,605

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I have been writing for the clone wars fandom but recently fell into a Jujutsu Kaisen hole and just wrote my very first fic for that fandom.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

could we live just a taste? (Rexsoka)

Something Borrowed, Something Blue (Gojohime)

The Valley of the Mythosaur (Rexsoka)

you are the beloved, longed-for destination at the end (Rexsoka)

Just Desserts (Rexsoka)

5. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's you are the beloved, longed-for destination at the end because it ends very much with Ahsoka having the knowledge that she's going to die soon. (rebels spoilers, sorry!)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think most of them have happy endings because I'm a sap. But probably ...and these hands of war can become hands of love because we love an Anidala soft baby moment.

7. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope and please don't start.

8. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I dooooo. I would say it's pretty vanilla tbh but I always try to write it with emotions and more about the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters. Smut as character study is always the goal!

9. Do you write cross overs? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't, but I have done AUs in other universes (Pacific Rim, the Mummy, etc.)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and please don't start.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but am open to it!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! Two and then a third one that's currently in the works.

13. What's your all time favorite ship?

It changes! I am such a sucker for battle couples, so really any of those I fuck with so hard. I have been really vibing with a number of the Jujutsu Kaisen ships because the writing has all been so up my alley and everything I could want in terms of smut, banter, AUs, etc. Writing has been Rexsoka, but I'm also falling rapidly down the gojohime rabbit hole.

14. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever wilI?

LOL, most of the ones languishing in my docs but published for sure road trip Rexsoka, unless I get inspired by it again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I would say banter and chemistry/romantic tension.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I would love to be plottier! I'm always envious of people who can write long fics and think through all of the details. I am a vibes girl through and through.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm not opposed to it if it fits in the larger story.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight on FFN, good luck finding it.

19. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I feel like it's whatever fic I most recently published, but I also usually like the ones that have gotten the least amount of traction with readers (because these are usually the ones that are for an audience of one, me!). So in that line, I would have to say that I really like Immaterial; it's a different writing style than I normally do, non-linear, very offbeat, etc. and I really love the dynamic that Rex and Ahsoka have in it.

20. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I normally try to respond when I put up the next fic or chapter or if it's been a really long time since they left the comment. But I always try to thank whoever read and commented!