#rnm ficlet

[halevetica]

Is that how you wanted this to go?(Malex)

Alex sat at the table with Kyle across from him, a half drank beer in hand. He'd agreed to get a drink with Kyle to take his mind off of everything going on in his life...and because Kyle had told him he had something important to show him before pulling into the wild pony parking lot with a pleading grin a promise to buy drinks for the night.

Alex avoided the Wild Pony for many reasons. One was the bartender, the other was his ex, if you could even call him that, and lastly was the terrible music. Though the last one was more of an excuse that didn't out him for avoiding the other two.

He and Maria were getting better. Now that Alex didn't have to see her with Michael, it was easier. There was still a mild awkwardness between them, but it was dissipating.

"Another round?" Maria asked Kyle as she paused at their table.

"Sure, I'll take one." Kyle nodded.

"I'm okay." Alex held up his still half empty beer.

"Okay, I'm out-pacing you three to one." Kyle huffed at Alex when Maria left.

"This just isn't how I planned to spend my Thursday night."

"And how did you plan on doing that exactly? Staring at your father's old files? Trying to find information that's not there?" Kyle leaned back in his chair.

"I feel like that would be more productive than sitting here..." Alex's voice trailed off as Micheal Guerin walked into the wild pony.

Michael's eyes met Alex's across the bar.

Kyle turned to see what caused the sudden mood shift.

Alex dropped his gaze first, suddenly very interested in his beer.

"So that's why you didn't want to come." Kyle nodded, ignoring the accusing glare Michael directed at him.

"I can't escape him."

"Do you want to?" Kyle asked, a sympathetic smile on his lips.

In lieu of responding, Alex took a long swig of his beer. That was a complicated question. Everything about Michael Guerin was complicated.

"How's Forrest by the way?" Kyle asked with a knowing smirk.

Alex dropped his head with a chuckle. "Uncomplicated."

Kyle stood, gesturing towards an empty pool table. "Come on, let me kick your ass at pool."

Alex raised a brow at him before downing the last of his beer and following suit.

Alex managed to avoid Michael as he concentrated on the pool game. Kyle was beating him, but he didn't mind. It was a nice distraction.

Alex was lining up his next shot when Michael's laughter pulled his attention up and towards the bar where Michael was sitting on a stool, a raven haired guy stood between his legs. Michael's hands sat firmly on the man's hips, as if holding him in place.

Alex's chest clenched at the sight. Michael was known to be a flirt but he'd never actually seen him flirt with another guy before.

"You good?" Kyle asked, glancing to the bar.

Alex's grip on the pool stick tightened as Michael made eye contact with him before placing his cowboy hat on the guy's head.

Alex forced his focus back on the cue ball and with a little more force than he'd intended, took his shot.

The ball went wide, missing it's intended target by inches.

"Don't let him get to you, man. He's not worth it." Kyle offered with a shake of his head.

What Alex didn't say was that Michael was worth it. He was worth every jolt of jealousy, every nightmare, every reminder, and every heartbreak. He'd endure it all if it made Michael happy. But Alex was certain that this random guy didn't make Michael happy. The smile on his face wasn't genuine. So why the show?

Alex glanced back up to see the guy take off Michael's hat and lean in.

Jealousy coiled in Alex's gut. Was Michael actually gonna kiss this guy?

Michael started to lean back, his eyes falling to Alex, who couldn't bring himself to look away.

Their eyes met before Michael dove in with purpose. His lips crashing against the other man's.

Alex swallowed before setting his pool stick down and marching towards the door. Whatever game Michael was playing, he wanted no part of it.

He ignored Kyle calling after him.

He barely made it to the parking lot when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Alex."

Alex turned around, a sharp glare set into his expression. "What Guerin?"

"Where are you going?" Michael asked.

Alex could only stare at Michael. Was he seriously asking that question?

"Home." Alex said bluntly when it was obvious Michael expected an answer. He turned to walk away when Michael caught his arm, stopping him.

"Why?"

"Why?" Alex scoffed. "Could it be that you had your tongue down some other guy's throat?"

"So you're leaving? I thought you'd confront me about it." Michael released Alex's arm.

"What? Why would I do that?"

"I thought you'd see me with him and come yell at me for rubbing it in your face."

Alex raised his brows at Michael. "Is that how you wanted this to go?" he asked incredulously.

Michael splayed his arms out. "Just trying to get your attention, Alex."

"No, you wanted a fight. Well, guess what, I'm not giving you one." Alex's tone was calm despite his frustration. He turned to walk away again.

"And that's the problem."

Alex paused.

"You don't wanna fight for us. You'd rather run."

Alex whipped around, his patience waning. "I don't even know what I'd be fighting for Guerin. Like you said before, we're not good for each other."

"That's what I mean. You just let me go without a fight."

"My whole life has been a fight. I'm tired of fighting. And I wasn't going to compete with Maria."

"There's never a competition, Alex."

Alex took a step forward, putting less than two feet between him and Michael. "So you were with that guy to hurt me intentionally and you're mad because I didn't make a scene? Didn't demand that you can't be with anyone other than me?"

Michael pursed his lips, seeing the flaw in his plan.

"Maria and I broke up weeks ago."

Alex furrowed his brow. "And what, you thought I'd come running back?"

"I was hoping." Michael said, as if it was obvious.

Alex glanced to where Kyle had approached.

"I'm seeing someone anyway." Alex took a step back.

"Who? Valenti?" Michael scoffed.

"Forrest, actually."

Michael licked at his bottom lip. He should have guessed. Forrest was always too chummy with Alex.

"Besides, we're not good for each other, Guerin." Alex nodded to Kyle who nodded back and started for his car.

Michael's jaw clenched as he watched Alex follow after Kyle.

His hands pulled at his curls in frustration as he started back for the bar. As he reached the awning, he swung his arms down with a sharp, frustrated grunt. The nearby tables were hit with a gust of his telekinesis, clattering against the surrounding chairs.

He'd viewed this night going very differently.

*AN* Was gonna post this for Michael Guerin week for the prompt 'Is that how you wanted this to go' but it worked better from Alex's point of view so I'm just posting it as it's own thing.

Consider buying me a coffee, I would really appreciate it!

[el-gilliath]

Thank you to the always lovely @andrea-lyn for tagging me on this. I don't do a lot of these any more, but they are always fun!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 41. I could have more if all my WIP's or blurbs were posted though

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 228, 700. For 41 fics, I will take it.

3. What fandoms do you write for? None, at the moment. But The Old Guard and RNM could always tempt me back.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Not complete without you (Joe/Nicky) 2. Of Trickery and Love Confessions (Steve/Danny) 3. Tumblr Ficlets (Mics) 4. I Thought You Didn't Love Me (Michael/Alex) 5. Because I Could Not Stop For Death (Michael/Alex)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes I do. Sometimes it takes me forever, but at some point I will always respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Well there's always Sacrifice, my RNM fic where Alex dies.... I'm not gonna link it because people yell at me when they read that hehe.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fic have a somewhat happy ending, but probably Nachos which was a fun little one shot for the love of my life @christchex

8. Do you get hate on fics? Sure do. But I don't really mind, I find it funny that people get so invested that they just have to tell me they hate something. I'm weird like that.

9. Do you write smut? I do!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I have written a crossover between Hannibal and RNM with @winged-fool called i know he knows that he’s killing me for mercy. I love that fic. And also You Take Me Home To Glory's Throne which is a Pacific Rim/Old Guard crossover witten with @andrea-lyn. One of my favorite passages ever written is in this fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! i know he knows that he’s killing me for mercy and You Take Me Home To Glory's Throne

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Harry/Draco or Angel/Spike are ships I always come back to so those, probably. But I have so many

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? It's not online any more so I won't mention it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Flow of language and pain. I like angst, okay.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Battle scenes and heavy exposition.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I don't mind that at all. Preferably one I speak but with a good translator I don't mind others either.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter or Buffy.

20. Favorite fic you have written? Not complete without you. Making @andrea-lyn cry was the highlight of my writing career. And no, I am not joking. That fic just works in a way I don't know if I ever want to recreate.

I'm not gonna tag anyone but I would love for @winged-fool to do it :) So I guess I did tag you. Moahaha

[maeglinthebold]

image template from here

My 2023 AO3 Wrapped

Quick Stats

Works published: 57 (21 RNM; 18 OFMD)

Words written: 447,106, up about 50k from last year (!) but still nothing beats those 2020 numbers

Hits: 43,668 (updated today)

Bookmarks: 641 (also updated today), probably mostly from people waiting for me to finish a damn thing XD. Incidentally…

Unfinished works: 3 that updated this year, 17 total

Most popular by kudos: Do you know you'll never fly alone? My D&D:HAT fic contributing to Edgin/Xenk. A bigger hit than expected! 

Most hits: Sinking in your Eyes, Chasing Golden Nights: OFMD, PWP. It’s technically continued from 2022. 

Longest fic: Also Sinking in Your Eyes, but that’s a bit of a cheat because it’s co-written with @lizzy-leo

Shortest fic: Looks like we always end up in a rut (Man From UNCLE OT3)

Most comments: From Roswell with Love, which is a continuation from 2021 and cowritten with @haloud. Of course, I also posted like seven fics in the last week of the year so it’s hardly fair to them…

[Fun answers below the cut]

Gifts:

I received 4 gifts (Three Player Morning, from @tasyfa’s NYE Drabble last year, and this year as well: Heading for Midnight; for RNM Secret Santa I got The Neon North Star by @ajna-eye-cogitations; and finally, I got a few podfics of my fics: [Podfic] Everything About You by 1lostone and [Podfic] The Foundation of Youth by TipsyKitty.

I gave 19 gift fics, mostly in Maeglin's Hobbit Birthday Gift Fics 2023 and a Secret Santa gift for @angrycowboy

Collaborations:

@haloud and I still wrote a ton this year, in a few new fandoms even, but have been slow to actually post things! Still we updated From Roswell with Love; wrote a silly little porno for Malexa Sorry that I got caught; and wrote chemical composition for Liz Week. For RNM After Dark we gave some true rarepairs some love with Get your soldiers, tell 'em that the break is over, Something Borrowed, and of course contributed some Malexa In the Bleak Midwinter. And Malexa finally won the Roswell Halloween costume contest for RIP Roswell in Not A King. Okay, maybe we didn’t slow down, after all! 

@lizzy-leo and I ping-ponged back and forth between Blackbonnet (Bell the Cat, Whale of a Tale, Fly By Night, Sinking in your Eyes, Chasing Golden Nights,) and Vianton (The Now Show Me Your Fangs series, now 9 works strong!), with plenty of smut for both. Lizzy even submitted (a SFW section) of some of our fic for Vico Ortiz to read through their Patreon, which was a hoot to listen to. 

Events taken part in: @rnmbingo, @rnmafterdark, @februaryficletchallenge, @lizortechoweek, @riproswell, @rnm-secret-santa, as well as my own Hobbit Birthday Ficlets Challenge, and Vianton Week on Twitter.

Which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? I actually maintained a pretty good variety this year (a nonzero number of like, 80s ballads featured, LOL), but Lady Gaga wins just because we’ve been using lyrics from Show Me Your Teeth for the Vianton series lol. 

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Ed/Stede (15) ousted Malexa this year (10) but apparently variety is the winner, as that’s less than half of my total fics. Multishipping for the win!

Favorite fics not already mentioned? I picked three:

I would do anything for love (but I won't do that) (Legolas/Gimli ficlet that was funny),

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero (my mean Izzy-anti fic, which was also funny, and cathartic, before he died in canon and achieved that catharsis better lmao), and

Steve Bunnet (Blackbonnet at a petting zoo, also funny).

(questions from multiple lists, feel free to re use uncredited like I did lol)

[salmonthestoryteller]

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I actually wrote this fusion RNM/The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ficlet back in January 2020.  I didn’t end up posting it because of things happening in my life at the time took me away from the fandom for a bit.  This year, I glanced at it again, and edited it a bit so I could post it.  I may do a couple more holiday film fusions because cheesy holiday romances are my weakness.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

A Roswell New Mexico/The Most Wonderful TIme of the Year AU Fusion Ficlet

“I just didn’t think it was appropriate-”  Noah started but was cut off by Isobel.

“To what?  Write a very nice “Thank-you” note.  Because that’s what this is.  Would you care to read it?”  She held out the note.

“No, I would never read your mail.”

“You would never read my mail, but you would steal my mail.”

Michael and Alex glanced at each other uncomfortably as the yelling on the porch continued.

“And that’s another thing!  How could you propose to me in a room full of strangers?  I don’t even know those people!”

“I thought it would be exciting.  People do it at baseball games all the time.”

“Baseball games?  Those people are idiots, Noah!”

“I think I’ll um… feed the puppy.”  Michael retreated to the kitchen. Alex sent an exasperated look his way as Isobel and Noah reentered the house.  Noah was putting back on his coat, and it was obvious he wouldn’t be spending the evening with them.

“Wait.”  Isobel stormed up to him, pulling off the engagement ring she’d received the night before and holding it out to him.  “Don’t forget this.”

Noah and her stared at each other for a moment, before he took the ring and left without a word.

Isobel paused in the entryway a moment longer before she wandered over to sink down and sit on the stairs. Alex left his place on the couch to join her.  "What a mess."  She told him.  "I have been going crazy to make today perfect and now… Noah's out of the picture. And Kyle… he's probably on that plane to Denver right now and I'm never going to see him again."

"Probably…" Alex admitted. "But, on the bright side, there is turkey."

"Great. Max and Liz are having Christmas in Hawaii, you are here to spend Christmas with Michael… and I get a turkey."

"Or you could, y'know,  get off your ass and go find Kyle."

Isobel stared at him. "What? Run to the airport on Christmas Day on the chance I might find him in time? That's crazy."

"Yeah, it is." The look in Alex's eyes reminded Isobel that this was the guy who wouldn't give up on her brother even when Michael wanted to give up on himself. "So go do it already."

Isobel pulled him into a fierce hug, before grabbing her coat. "The turkey will be done at four, if you or Michael eat any before I get back - I will kill you."

Alex only grinned.  "I hear you."  The next moment she was out the door and he glanced up to find Michael holding the puppy and watching him from the kitchen doorway.  "This is shaping up to be a great Christmas."

"Did you plan all this?" Michael asked him.

"Me? Never."

-----

"I can't let you on without a boarding pass." The woman at the counter, Isobel was pretty sure her tag read Rosa, explained again.

"But I don't want to actually get on the plane, I just want to get someone off the plane."

"Wait, isn't this the same guy from yesterday? The one you wanted out of your house?"

Isobel sighed, leaning her purse on the counter. She didn’t notice when the bag accidentally hit the paging button on the microphone.  "Look, I know this sounds nuts.  I only met the guy 72 hours ago, and at the beginning, he drove me absolutely nuts.  But he's great. He's great with my best friend, my brother grudgingly approves of him - and trust me my brother doesn't approve of anyone. He's witty, he can cook, he stuck it to my neighbor, which was really amazing, he's… beautiful.   He made Christmas feel really special for the first time in ages."

-----

In a different part of the airport, almost to the head of the line, Kyle paused.  He could swear the person talking was Isobel, but that was crazy.   Isobel had gotten engaged to Noah the previous evening and would be having Christmas dinner with him, Alex, and Michael right now. 

"I have never done anything this crazy, believe me." The voice on the paging system continued. "But I have to take the chance, because otherwise… I may never see him again. And I really want to… can you please just check for me? His name is Kyle Valenti. He's on the flight to Denver."

Kyle had reached the front of the line but froze at his name.  "That is her.  That's me. She's talking about me." A smile broke out on his face, and he tossed his pass at the bewildered attendant in front of him.  "I have to go." Turning around he started to slide around the other people waiting to board to head back into the airport.

----

Isobel bounced in place as she waited for Rosa to finish looking on her computer.   She'd never dared anything like this. Surely it had to pay off.  But the look Rosa gave her when she looked up from her screen was apologetic. "According to this, he already boarded."

Isobel felt her hopes shatter around her and her voice was small as she asked, "He did?" The other woman nodded, and Isobel gathered herself up as she picked up her purse.  She was Isobel Evans, and she did not break down in front of strangers.   "Thank-you." She told her and headed away from the counter.

She still had Alex and Michael, she reminded herself.  She had Max and Liz, even if they had ditched her this year for the tropics. She had the damn turkey dinner she'd worked so hard on. She would be fine.

Her feet carried her through the airport, heading for the front doors, when a voice behind and above her drew her attention. "Isobel! Izzy!"

She whirled, and - inexplicably - there he was a floor above her, leaning over the balcony to shout down at her.  She felt a smile light her face, and Kyle echoed her expression.

[a1kitkat]

Christmas Fics 2021 Masterpost

In a Bunker Beneath a Cabin

Kylex & Jimlex

Alex had never truly known love until he found it in an unexpected place but his happiness was short lived when the man he thought he loved changed into someone else; someone harsh, someone he feared, someone he could never love again but is still forced to. Locked away, a prisoner inside the bunker beneath the cabin. Unable, unwilling to attempt an escape, too uncertain what’s waiting for him outside in the World he hasn’t been part of for years. Alex was once the victim of his own father, now he’s at the mercy of Kyle’s.

*************************

RNM Christmas Ficlets

(Various ships)

Chapter Two - Kylex [Kyle Valenti & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Tinsel/Decorations \ Word Count - 611 \ Rated - G

Chapter Three - Kylex [Kyle Valenti & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Gifts \ Word Count - 1064 \ Rated - PG

Chapter Four - Valevans [Kyle Valenti & Max Evans] \ Prompt - Sleigh \ Word Count - 903 \ Rating - M

Chapter Five - Forlex [Forrest Long & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Sleigh \ Word Count 923 \ Rating - PG(?)

Chapter Six - Jimlex [Jim Valenti & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Eggnog \ Word Count - 1212 \ Rating - M(ildly Explicit)

Chapter Seven - Valevans [Kyle Valenti & Max Evans] \ Prompt - Snow \ Word Count - 2222 \ Rating - Explicit

Chapter Eight - CaptainDaddy [Alex Manes & Eduardo Ramos] \ Prompt - Tinsel/Decorations \ Word Count - 884 \ Rating - PG

Chapter Nine - Forlex [Forrest Long & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Tinsel/Decorations \ Word Count - 853 \ Rating - M

Chapter Ten - Jimlex [Jim Valenti & Alex Manes] \ Prompt - Snow \ Word Count - 1121 \ Rating - PG

Christmas Fics 2019 Masterpost

All I Want For Christmas is You

Malex - [posted in August but still a Christmas fic]

Christmas Eve outside the Wild Pony; Alex & Michael talk.

************************

Santa, Snow and a Sleigh Ride

Malex - [Part of a series but can possibly be read as a stand-alone]

Michael and Alex celebrate their first Christmas with their adopted children

*************************

A Flamingle Christmas

Malex - [Part of a different series, read them all to fully appreciate it]

Michael and Alex both want a perfect Christmas together but neither know how to make it special for the other. Michael goes a touch overboard. Alex doesn’t mind.

***************************

What Christmas *Really* Means to Me

Kylex - Starts Fluffy but turns dark/angsty [TRIGGER WARNING IN EFFECT]

Kyle has been crushing on Alex and hopes to get him under the mistletoe at Isobel’s annual Christmas Party but at every turn, Michael beats him to the prize... The truth to Alex being under the mistletoe with Michael isn’t even close to what Kyle imagines

******************************

Christmas Eve With You

Kylex

Kyle and Alex have no idea what to gift each other for Christmas. Both just want to make it special.

*******************************

This Christmas Gift

Alex/Forest [Forlex]

Alex plans to spend Christmas alone at the cabin with Buffy. Forest has other ideas.

********************************

Give Love on Christmas

Kylex

Alex helps out at the hospital and inadvertently ends up on a date with Kyle on Christmas Eve

[michaels-blackhat]

new headcanon just dropped! arturo and sanders sitting at the back of the pta meetings. arturo always brings something from the crashdown. they’re perfectly silent until one of the ann evans types suggests cutting funding for science clubs in favor of sportsball.

Alice cleared space on the back table as 6:45 rolled around. Any moment now, Arturo Ortecho would walk in with his arms loaded with snack. She stopped attempting to provide anything besides drinks since she first took over the PTA two years before. She still tried to compensate for the food he brought, reminding him they had a budget for it, but he refused time after time. She had started to just hand Liz an envelope the month before. She hoped he wouldn't come in and try to hand it back to her. She cleared what she hoped would be enough space and moved to her spot at the front of the room.

She looked at her agenda and sighed. It was that time of the year again, fundraisers and budgets. She shuddered. It wasn't going to be pretty. It never was, but this year Alice knew would be worse. Joyce Long had been suggesting, loudly, for weeks that the football team needed new jerseys, never mind the fact that they got new ones three seasons prior, and that the budget should be adjusted to support the things the school was actually good at. Alice wasn't ready. She wasn't ready for the fight that would ensue and she absolutely was not ready to try and keep the peace.

It would be useless anyway. The moment Joyce opened her mouth, it would done.

"Good evening Alice!" Arturo called from the doorway. Alice couldn't see his face over the boxes of food.

"Good evening Arturo," she called back with a smile. Her smile dimmed once she saw who walked in behind him- Walt Sanders. The slight, minuscule bit of remaining hope died in her. There would be no peace tonight. She'd be lucky if no one left with bruises. "Evening Walt." She said as he walked past her.

He grunted and then turned to Arturo. "If Joyce Long thinks I'm going to let her take a penny from the science club, she's dumber than her son."

"Now Walt, don't be so mean," Arturo said as he started to unpack the food. "I'm sure Alice wouldn't dream of taking anything from such important academic groups, right Alice?" He said it with a grin, but Alice could see the glint in his eyes, the one that said 'you mess with my daughter's future, I'll destroy you'.

"Of course not Arturo," she said, voice shaky. "We do proportionate funding."

Arturo shot her a grin and Alice resigned herself to an evening of fighting. And then a week of harassment as Joyce Long took out her annoyance on Alice. No wonder Ellen retired, she thought.

[skinsharpenedteeth]

So... I wrote a little ficlet about Alex's reaction to finding out he's being deployed to Iraq for the first time. It's dark, angst, and littered with self destructive thoughts and actions so... "dead dove: do not eat" I suppose. Also on AO3!

*÷*÷*÷*

"Wasted"

Cw: alcohol, drugs, depression

Rated: M, 1931 words.

...

It was March and cool outside (as cool as south Texas ever got). The walls of the house shook around Alex as he laid on an airbed on top of the coats of his squad mates. The coatroom was quiet compared to the rest of the house. They’d just received their deployment orders going to Iraq for six months so they were throwing their last bash before heading out. Outside the dark bedroom, his squad mates partied like it was their last night on Earth...and it could be one of their few left if things went sideways. Everyone was feeling untethered and wild. Booze was everywhere and Alex had taken a few bars from the bag of prescription party-pills he kept stashed for such occasions. He felt like a character in Alice in Wonderland, but he needed to keep himself from getting out of control. He had secrets he needed to keep and booze could make him chatty and handsy in the wrong situations. Now, however, he felt tired and floaty and the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling of the bedroom swirled slightly as the spins set in. 

    The stars reminded him of Michael. He thought about laying in the back of his truck watching the stars after sex. He could remember the feeling of sweat drying on his naked skin, the way the dry desert air made his breath loud and his voice hoarse after they’d been together, and the hard metal slats of the truck bed digging into his back despite the layers of blankets they used as a makeshift mattress. Alex could almost taste the secondhand Squirt and tequila on his tongue. Had that been only a year ago? 

    Alex’s stomach lurched as the spins took a violent twist and he swallowed thickly around the flood of saliva in his mouth. The odd numb, burning sensations on either side of his jaw alerted him that if he didn’t act fast, he’d be cleaning everyone’s coats. He took a deep breath in through his nose and slowly let it out his mouth, trying to control his gag reflex and diaphragm. After a few breaths, his stomach seemed to settle, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t last. Carefully, he rolled onto his hands and knees (overcorrecting only a little at the unexpected lurch of the inflatable mattress). He looked up and eyed the door that he knew led to a small en suite bathroom. It was about five feet away. If he moved slowly, he could make it without vomiting on the carpet. 

    The cool linoleum of the floor felt good against his palms as he crawled into the small closet of a bathroom. He pushed up the toilet lid and seat before letting himself slump against the cool wood cabinets. Light from the street shone into the bathroom and gave him enough illumination to be disgusted. This was Reyes and Phillips’s house, and it was obvious they’d never used a Clorox wet wipe in their lives. The smell of wet porcelain and dry urine made Alex’s stomach lurch again, but he clamped his teeth together and swallowed against his body’s urge to purge. He could wait it out. 

    “Hey, Manes!” Tyler yelled from the hallway. He banged his fist against the bedroom door and Alex cringed further into the bathroom, trying to hide from the noise and the inevitable wave of drunken airmen. “If you’re passed out, we’re going to put our balls in your mouth. The whole fucking squad’s!”

    Alex only had a second to appreciate the irony of how much he might enjoy that before the door banged open in the bedroom and the volume was suddenly turned up from 7 to 11. A few seconds later, the harsh yellow bathroom light blinded Alex’s vision for a second before he looked up and focused on the figures in the doorway. Tyler, Reyes, and Williams stood crammed in the frame all grinning down at him like loons. 

    “Did you vomit, Manes?” Tyler asked in a vicious tone. Alex shook his head, feeling miserable as he did so, and also like he might be falling, but he was pretty sure his body hadn’t moved. 

    “Good! Airmen don’t vomit. We cherish our liquor and don’t waste it. Get the fuck up, you’re missing the party!” Tyler seemed to yell. Alex shook his head again and started to speak, but was interrupted by the three pairs of hands hauling him off the bathroom floor and manhandling him from the bedroom. 

    “We’ll get you sobered up enough for round three. Come on, man!” Williams yelled. Alex was almost blind to the swirling lights and figures around him. When he stumbled and ended up on his hands and knees on the floor, he felt hands pulling him up again. Then he was being carried. With Reyes at his feet, that left Tyler and Williams on his arms to carry him. The cold rush of early spring air swirled around him as they carried him outside. He had a split second to register the undulating white and aqua light of the pool before he was airborne towards it. His body remembered for him that he wanted to hold his breath, but even so as the frigid water surrounded him he lost it in a great bubble of air. He sank until his feet hit the bottom of the pool, and then he was pushing off and propelling upward. He spluttered and coughed when he felt air on his face. He turned and glared at the whooping, laughing group at the edge of the pool. 

    “Still feel like yakking?” one of them yelled. 

    “CANNONBALL!” another screamed and then three of his squad were jumping into the pool too. Alex wiped off the water from his face that their entrances had splashed onto him and swam towards the wall. He clung on and tried to reorient himself. He even managed a weak smile for one of the guys when they swam past him. He felt numb. His fingers were stiff and clumsy and he was shivering against the pool wall. 

    “Come on, Manes! It’s a party!” Phillips chided as he swam up beside Alex and clung to the wall too. He paused and studied Alex’s face before his tone sobered. “How fucked up are you?”

    “Preddy… pretty fucked,” Alex managed to slur out. 

    “Booze and…?” Phillips asked quietly. It was no secret most of the guys added to their partying experience with other illicit substances. Phillips didn’t. He was a little older than the rest of them and tended to mother hen. 

    “Bars. Just a couple. I’m fine,” Alex lied, even as he shivered violently in the water. 

    “Sure. Go ahead and go back inside. Take the main bathroom. Lock the door and take a warm shower. I’ll keep everyone here for a while. You might grab a handful of pretzels on your way through the living room, yeah?” he suggested, trying to keep eye contact with Alex whose focus was wandering over the crystalline waves of the surrounding pool. 

    “Sure,” Alex replied a little breathier than normal. 

    “Do I need to escort you?” Phillips asked, adding some authority to his voice that drew Alex’s attention back to him. 

    “No. No, I’m fine. I’ll just get out and go take a shower. Like you said,” he managed. Phillips watched his face in concern for another minute before giving him a brief nod. 

    “On your way, then, airman,” Phillips said briskly, tone light but eyes continuing to assess Alex’s condition. Taking a deep breath, Alex grabbed the edge of the pool and managed to haul himself out of the water. His body felt like it weighed three times its normal weight. He sat on the edge for a moment, catching his breath as the cold night air immediately attacked what little warmth the water had helped his body keep. Teeth chattering slightly, he pushed up to stand and staggered back towards the house, water dripping off of him in sheets. Some part of him that was still human paused before going into the house and pulled his sodden shirt away from his body to wring it out before entering the house. 

    The heat of the surrounding house was almost oppressive once he finally slid the glass patio door shut behind him. Music still blared through the speakers and the smart, more sober half of his squad was still inside drinking. Alex’s eyes swept around the room, but he didn’t take in a single face. He started moving, legs jerking awkwardly, towards the part of the house where the main bedroom was. He paused in the kitchen to take Phillips’ advice and grab a handful of pretzels and a Bud Light before continuing on his journey. Alex heard a few of the guys call his name as he opened the bedroom door, but he waved them off before shutting it firmly behind him.

He found himself in another dark room, but this one with a proper bed and no coats. Alex shoved some pretzels in his mouth and tried to ignore how they seemed to expand and turn to glue on his tongue. He flicked on the bedroom light and lurched towards the open bathroom doorway. The bathroom was modest and relatively clean unlike the one he’d been found in earlier. He set down the beer and pretzels on the counter and started to peel the wet fabric of his clothes from his body. When he was naked, he turned on the water to warm up and returned to the counter to drink his beer and eat his remaining pretzels. He caught his reflection in the mirror. 

    The military had stripped any remaining baby fat from his frame. Well, that and learning to be a functioning alcoholic. Alex knew aesthetically he looked good, even with the shaved head. He was lean and toned and trained to move in quick, decisive movements. He looked exactly like the son his father had always wanted. He looked like a clone of ten other guys on his squad. He was nobody in the military. Alex had lost the one thing he’d always fought for: his sense of identity. 

    “I want to be with you, but not if you’re wasting your life, ya know?”

    His own words echoed distantly. He stared into his own face and saw how tired he looked, how sad, how… empty. And now he was going to war. He was another nameless, faceless body ready to die for a cause he didn’t fully understand or stand behind. Because he had to get away from his father. Because he had to save himself by turning into something he wasn’t. More hiding. 

    “You’re going to die out there. No one will mourn you, because no one will know you there. The last person who loved you--” Alex cut himself off and sighed. He downed the rest of his beer in a single, long swallow before crumpling the can and throwing it into the sink. He turned and slid his hand along the wall as he made the few steps to the edge of the shower. Pushing back the curtain, he climbed into the tub and immediately laid down, letting the stinging spray beat on his chest and stomach. Alex closed his eyes and thought again, You’re going to die over there. You’re going to die. You’re going to die. You’re going to die. 

    He drifted off with the warm water turning cool against his skin. He thought of what a waste this was. He’d made the wrong decision. 

[spaceskam]

Alex had expected some things when he moved in with Michael Guerin. He knew he would constantly be tinkering with things, he knew he would probably disregard clothing most of the time, and he knew that he would have a personal heater every night when he went to bed.

What Alex hadn’t expected, however, was for Michael Guerin to be somewhat of a natural homemaker. He cooked, he cleaned, and he brought a sense of welcoming to the cabin that hadn’t been there before. On top of that, he was just constantly doting, constantly reminding Alex he loved him. It was a little weird at first and made Alex very flustered hearing it so often, but he couldn’t lie.

More often than not, Alex loved it.

“I love you,” Michael would say before he took out the garbage as if he wasn’t going to be right back. “I love you,” Michael would say with a kiss on whatever body part he could reach whenever Alex would walk past him. “I love you,” Michael would say every single night before bed and every single morning the moment he opened his eyes. “I love you,” Michael would say when he left for work. “I love you,” Michael would say with no action at all, just looking up at him across the room with a smile.

It was overwhelming and, on days where he was easily agitated, could feel annoying, but he couldn’t tell him to stop. He didn’t really know what prompted Michael to become so hamfisted with the love confession, but there was no way he could tell him to stop without sounding like an asshole. So he didn’t.

Except for one night, Alex climbed into bed beside Michael with curiosity on his mind. Michael gathered him up, kissed him with all the passion in the world, and whispered his routine ‘I love you’.

“Why do you tell me that so much?” Alex whispered. Michael’s grip on him loosened and he pulled away just a little bit. He saw something on Alex’s face that made him put some distance between them. “I’m not angry, I just don’t understand.”

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked. Alex didn’t have an answer. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

Alex made a whine of protest, “No, no, don’t stop, I’m just wondering.”

Michael was quiet for a moment, his eyes avoiding Alex’s as he hesitantly reached to fiddle with the sleeve of his shirt. Alex waited patiently.

“I just... I know how it felt to grow up and never feel loved and how lonely that is. I want you to feel loved. I want you to know that you’re loved. Always,” Michael grumbled out, his voice managing to sound both sweet and annoyed at the same time. Alex gulped softly. “I’m sorry that I annoy you.”

“No, you don’t annoy me,” Alex said, scooting closer, “I love that you do it. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing it because you wanted to distract me.”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. “Distract you from what?” 

“I don’t know, it’s stupid,” Alex sighed. Because it was. They were honest with each other completely. He couldn’t help but feel like his father had implanted doubt in his mind, even though it’d been years since he’d spoken to him. Why else would he feel like an ‘I love you’ required a devious motive? He hated that his mind was like that. “I love that you love me.”

“Thank God or else this might be a weird relationship,” Michael teased, moving in closer for a kiss.

A few days later, Alex looked over at Michael as he sat on the floor and tightened the screws on the barstools.

“Hey, Michael, I love you,” Alex called. Michael’s eyes flickered up to him.

“I love you too.”

Alex relaxed as Michael turned back to his work with a grin so wide it lit up his entire face.

[kyle-valenti]

for @acomebackstory who's tags on one post made me write this....

*

Kyle has nearly no downtime to watch tv shows or movies... he's a highly requested surgeon in a town with way too many side projects. He's never understood the ability or even need to escape into a different life via media or literature...

... but he knows that Alex does, so he makes the jokes and references using buzzwords gleaned from patients and coworkers throughout the years...

because even though he never gets it right, he still knows that it briefly distracts Alex from whatever emotional turbulence they're facing. Sure, they're about to learn horrible things their fathers did, but somethings never change, like Kyle not understanding which scifi movies were which.

After enough times though, Alex catches on at the timing. It's been a day from hell and the man turns his glance out of the corner of his eye to Kyle. "No joke?"

"My jokes aren't even funny," he replies with a sigh, tired but vulnerable at the dependence he heard lingering in Alex's tone. "You tell me that every time."

"I said they were uneducated," is the correction, lips curling ever so slightly. "Not unfunny."

Kyle shakes his head, trying to silence a chuckle. "Is that a roundabout way of saying my stupidity regarding pop culture makes you laugh?"

"You know damn well it does," Alex replies, this time giving in and grinning.

"Yeah, I might." Kyle smiled back, glancing away at the intimacy.

[alienkindness]

This is just so them!

I miss teen malex, so I started writing something new:

“Jesus, Guerin,” Alex voice hoarse and amused. “If you keep that up I’m not going to let you leave.”

Michael pulls back a little so that Alex can appreciate the full extent of the look on his face, saying without words that that doesn’t sound like a bad thing.

Alex grins, wide and bright, and it momentarily blinds him.

“You said you had to meet up with Max and Isobel, and I don’t think starting this relationship with an introduction to my father is a smart idea.”

Michael smiles, wide and maybe a little dopily, but he can’t help it.

“So this is a relationship?” he asks, pitching his voice towards teasing, but he still sounds too nervous to himself.

Alex’s smile dims a little, turning nervous and sheepish as he ducks his head forward, bangs falling across the front of his face, and his hands are too still against Michael’s hips.

“I mean, it could be, if that was something that you wanted?”

Michael giggles a little, feeling overwhelmingly like his insides were full of champagne bubbles. 

Alex looks back up at him, brow furrowed, and Michael frames his face in his hands, dropping his forehead against Alex’s.

“Oh I want it,” Michael says, and just barely manages to stop himself from saying that he wants every single thing that Alex is willing to give him.

He can feel how bright Alex beams at the words, “That’s good. So boyfriends?”

Michael grins, nodding his head, brushing their noses together lightly, before he leans in and kisses Alex again.

Alex kisses him back, but pushes him backwards and to the side, managing to get out from underneath Michael.

Michael sits back on the couch pouting, and Alex makes a noise like Michael is actually killing him.

“If my dad catches you here he’s going to kill me and then you, and then me again for good measure, and then you won’t ever get to kiss me again,” Alex points out, logically, and Michael sighs, pushing himself to his feet.

“Well, when you put it that way,” Michael says as he grabs his shirt and the hoodie from where he’d stuffed them earlier.

He stops right in front of Alex, whose eyes are on Michael’s still exposed shoulders, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Michael pins his hoodie between his knees and makes a show of pulling his shirt over his head, and he can’t help the bubble of laughter that comes out when Alex sighs mournfully.

“Shut up,” Alex says, pushing him backwards, and Michael grins, wrapping his fingers around one of Alex’s hands, and pulling him back in close.

“Make me," Michael says, leaning in to kiss him as a helpless smile pulls at the corners of Alex's mouth.

[cosmiceverafter]

If you are still taking Malex prompts, maybe fireplace or steaming mugs

Fireplace + steaming mugs? Two of my favorite things.

Enjoy! ❥

***

"Hot chocolate delivery."

Alex looks up with a smile to see his alien boyfriend teleporting a steaming mug his way. In Michael's arms, he's holding a big blanket, warm socks, and a book.

"Would you like some assistance?" Alex asks, amused yet impressed.

"Baby, I've got this," Michael replies as he brings the items in front of the fireplace where Alex is sitting. "Besides, you're not getting up anytime soon."

Boots, their furry little black and white kitten, who's purring up a storm, nestles warm on Alex's lap.

It's the first snowstorm of winter in Roswell, and the two decide to stay in and relax within their cozy cabin.

"Here you are, darlin'," Michael says as Alex grabs the floating mug. "Peppermint cocoa, with a few marshmallows, just the way you like it."

Alex loves his boyfriend more than words can convey. Since the two made their relationship official, Michael has been so attentive to him; Alex cherishes these domestic moments they can share.

"Thank you," Alex says. He watches and appreciates as Michael puts his socks on and then carefully wraps the blanket around them. "What service."

Michael wiggles his eyebrows and places a kiss on Alex's cheek, "Baby, you haven't seen anything yet."

Alex responds by puckering his lips, and Michael moves casually from his cheek to close the gap.

The kiss starts off small, soft, and sweet, but gradually desire takes hold of them.

If his lips stay on Michael's forever, it'll still never be enough.

As the kiss deepens, they hear a meow as Alex accidentally nudges Boots with his leg. "Sorry, buddy."

The kitten yawns and stretches now across both his and Michael's lap. They share a chuckle, and Michael shrugs, "Apparently, he doesn't like to share."

Alex touches his forehead to Michael's and caresses his boyfriend's curls, "Later?"

The alien's golden eyes flash, "Mmm, later." Michael looks out the window, "It's really comin' down out there."

"Sure is," Alex agrees. "We're not going anywhere anytime soon."

"Is that a promise?" Michael asks with a mischievous grin.

"Promise."

"Good, because one, we already agreed to later midnight activities, and two, because life has been too crazy as of late. Honestly, we need this," Michael adds. His boyfriend is right. With the final battle of Mr. Jones, everyone is finding their balance to something that resembles normalcy. Whatever that means.

Michael turns the record player on to play Alex's favorite Jazz collection with a nod of his powers. Between the crackling of the fire and the melody of the music, Alex feels at peace.

As Alex pets a sleeping Boots, Michael opens the book of poems Alex gave him for his birthday. Michael reads 'i carry your heart with me' by E. E. Cummings with a mesmerizing tone.

"Perfect Moment," Alex states after he finishes. Alex's been keeping a collection of moments worth remembering in his mind; this one fits the criteria.

"It's because you're here, and well, I don't know if you know this Alex Manes, but you're pretty much perfect."

"Hardly," Alex scoffs with a sarcastic laugh.

Michael just shrugs, "To me, you are."

Alex lays his head on Michael's shoulder, "You're too good to me, you know that?"

"There's no such thing. It'll never be enough," Michael answers. "I want to give you the world."

He looks up to meet Michael's loving gaze, "You already have, Michael. In so many ways." Alex takes Michael's hand, and they intertwine their fingers.

"I love you, Alex."

"And I love you."

They stay this way for hours until the last snowflake falls. With their kitten nestled between them and their beating hearts connected as one.

[a1kitkat]

Thanks for the Christmas prompts everyone, I’m hoping to have them posted between December 20th-24th… But no promises, I’m very chuffed by the response with more than twelve prompts to hopefully get my creative vibes going

[alienkindness]

Smiling now

How bout some Alex POV for All Kinds of Time?!

Oooh, thank you for the prompt!  I had fun with this.

Warning for brief mention of homophobia.

***

“Just sat you a five top,” Nikki says offhandedly.

Alex blows out a breath.  “Okay.”

“All dudes.  Young.”

Alex snorts a little. “Great,” he says sarcastically.  

Nikki shoots him a little look. “Hey, Marti’s section is full right now.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Everyone had their sweet spots.  Alex got his best tips from groups of women and middle-aged executive types.  Marti usually cleaned up with the younger guys who were trying to impress her.

“See if you can stretch it out,” she says.  “You talked to Hiro?”

Alex nods.  “Yeah.  Sounds crazy back there.”

“Like, it’s not about to crash, but… you know.”

“Sure do,” Alex says. Gives Nikki a nice smile. “Thanks.”

She laughs.  “Charmer.  Get back in there,” she says, shooing him with her hand.

Still chuckling, Alex rubs his hands on his little black half-apron. Glances out at the floor and sees them. Five men.  Two of the guys are really big. Built. Athletes, maybe? That would be okay.

He mentally reviews the special – some octopus dish with shiso leaf – and makes his way over.

“Welcome to Umi,” he says smoothly.  “My name is Alex, and I’ll be your server this evening.” He looks around the table politely at the men, one after another, until –

“Guerin, oh my god.”

It’s him.

Fuck, it’s actually him. Right here.

One of the bigger guys starts to laugh.  “Big Bruins fan?”

Bruins?  Shit, yeah, UCLA, that’s Michael’s team now. He… he’s the fucking quarterback there.  And Alex, god, he can’t look at him right now. It’s been years, and –

“No man,” he hears, and that voice, shit.  He chances a little look in Michael’s direction.  “This is Alex,” Michael’s saying, giving his… teammate, maybe, one of those easy smiles of his, open and guileless.  “We went to high school together.” Alex gives a tight little smile, directs it at no one in particular, because, yeah, they did, and Michael’s clearly just being polite about this, but then…

Michael, Michael’s biting his lip. And maybe Alex is just seeing what he wants, imagining things, but… he’s been on the receiving end of an up-and-down look before.  An appraisal. And, and it sure seems to him like that’s what Michael’s doing right now.  Nothing, like, creepy.  In fact, it’s really subtle.  Covert. So Alex lets himself look, too. Michael’s… god, he’s beautiful.  He, he’s a fucking college quarterback now.  Division I, as Alex has learned from his Google alerts.  It’s different, seeing him in the flesh, as opposed to action shots of him on the field,  the official team headshot on the UCLA website…

“It’s because of this guy that I threw my first football.”

Alex’s eyes widen.  What? He looks right at Michael, trying to see if he’s lying or not, just spinning some fantasy.  But Michael’s looking right at him, holding his gaze, and fuck. He never realized that was Michael’s first time throwing a football, all those years ago. And he knows why Michael did it. Knows it was for him.

Then the biggest guy’s laughing, clapping Michael on the back with enough force that it shoves him forward a little.  “No way!” He directs an easy little smile up at Alex. “We owe you one, man!”

And it feels like a dismissal. Michael’s looking down at his lap now, sneaking a glance at Alex now and then, and Alex… well.  Alex isn’t dumb. Wasn’t dumb in high school, and isn’t dumb now.  He remembers what Michael was like, back in Roswell.  Remembers the rumors about him, and remembers the way football was his best and only escape route from their dead end town.  Remembers how just the thought of anything getting in the way of Michael’s success made him clamp down on his own feelings, shut them the fuck down to help preserve any chance of Michael actually making it.

And he’s made it.

And... and hotshot college quarterbacks don’t have boyfriends.

So Alex takes a deep breath.  Looks at Michael one last time, then looks away. Slaps on his polite customer service smile, leans in a bit, and clasps his hands behind his back.

“Can I interest you gentlemen in some drinks?”

[profitinaecho]

Day 1

Rosa sat down at the counter of her family’s restaurant when the busy dinner shift ended. She was wearing heavy black eye liner and chipped black nail polish. Grabbing a menu, she began doodling on the back of it.

She was trying to resist the urge to start day drinking and hoping her mother would stay gone a while. She caused nothing but heartache and trouble for the entire family.

She was also highly confused by Isobel Evans lately. Isobel was so hot and cold with her. It made her feel confused in more ways than one. If Rosa didn’t know better, she would think she had a crush on her.

Rosa rolled her eyes realizing Max Evans was staring moon eyed at her sister again. “Max, a little advice?” Rosa looked up from shading her doodle.

“Hm?” Max replied as Liz leaned in close to refill his cherry coke, distracting him.

“Love is overrated. Let it go.” Rosa wadded up her doodle and stomped up to her bedroom.

[andrea-lyn]

sabrinachill replied to your post: in the mood for some quick writing, so six...

malex adopting a pet? or date at the drive-in?

so, I have written them having a date at the drive-in in my latest WIP, so I will leave that for future, and instead, have some pet adoption:

The little ball of grey fluff in his arms is shaking, but Michael doesn’t blame her.

It’s been a downpour for hours and he’d found her mewling in the bottom of a barrel, pathetic and sad and pretty much rendering Michael useless the minute he’d seen her. Scooping her up, he gently cups the kitten in his palm, soothing her as he steps inside the Airstream, shaking the rain off his cowboy hat and trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

“Found the culprit,” he announces, grabbing a dish towel and giving the kitten a brisk shake before he sets her down onto wobbly paws, watching as she peers up at Michael. “Go on,” he encourages, “you’re safe here.”

She seems to consider that for a moment before she plods right over onto Alex’s chest, curling her tiny damp body into a ball that has Alex giving the kitten a shocked, surprised look, even though he doesn’t complain about claws or cold even though he’s shirtless.

Michael’s not sure which of them is sweeter, honestly.

“I know taking in strays is usually your thing,” Michael quips as he curls back into bed with Alex, the downpour outside clattering onto the Airstream roof, sharp metallic pings and the sound of water rushing down over the windows, “but maybe, you’d let me pick one up?”

Alex gives him a warm smile, leaning over to kiss the corner of Michael’s lips. “She’s perfect, just like you.” He runs his fingers over her soaking fur and leans up to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Easy, now. You’re home.”

[spaceskam]

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Always."

Alex grabbed Michael's hand and brought it to his lips, closing his eyes to the sound of him breathing steadily to find his words. He could hardly see him, the dark of the night sealing them away from the world. It was just them and the contents of the airstream. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered.

"Max and Isobel knew about us," Michael admitted softly. Alex froze but didn't speak. He wasn't quite sure where this was headed and he had a bad track record of assuming. "I didn't tell them, they just knew."

"That's the secret?" Alex asked softly. He heard the pillow rustling as he shook his head.

"No. The secret is I'm confused," he admitted, "I don't know how long they knew or how long they watched me destroy myself when you were gone. At some point in the last decade, they noticed I was missing you so bad that it hurt, and they didn't care."

"Guerin..."

"And I keep thinking about how torn up Isobel was when she realized Max had been unhappy since Liz left, but... she had to know I was unhappy without you too, right? Like, she made a joke about how obvious I was. It was a joke. I was hurting and it was a joke."

Alex wrapped his arms around him, tugging him in until his head was firmly beneath his chin. He cradled him. He deserved to be cradled for a moment at the very least.

Alex didn't know what to say and it was clear that Michael had been sitting on these thoughts for awhile. He had no way to rationalize it in a way that wasn't cruel. Either the people Michael lived for purposely chose not to check in with him for years when they were aware he was hurting, or they chose to ignore it all together.

"She said it was easy, you know? Easy to go on with life where she was happily married, Max was unhappy, and I was a murderer," Michael whispered, clutching onto Alex like his life depended in it. And maybe it did. "Life was good for them when I was fucked up and murderous. They want me that way."

"I don't think they want you that way. They do love you, Guerin, just... in a complicated way," Alex said, though he didn't think his words were good enough. He had a few things he'd like to say to Isobel and Max if he got the chance, but he wasn't sure he had any room to talk. He wasn't much better.

"I'm selfish too, though. I let Max hurt. I let you hurt. Fuck, I hurt everyone myself," Michael sighed. Alex wanted to protest, but he decided against it once he realized that on some level Michael was right. Ignoring that wouldn't be helpful.

"We've all made mistakes, we've all hurt people. It's how you grow from that that matters," Alex whispered. He didn't mention that he didn't think Max and Isobel were aware of their wrongdoings when it came to Michael, but he knew Michael saw it and didn't want to poor salt in the wound.

"Am I growing properly?" he asked softly, the still silence making it weigh that much more. Alex combed through his hair and let his mind sift through the last 24 hours. Their nice date, how they'd split the bill, how Michael had politely asked him to stay over, and how willing he was to talk because he was tired of hurting other people. It was one hell of a testament to his growth.

"Yeah, I think you are," Alex told him. Michael's body physically released tension, like weigh was lifted off of him at the reassurance that he hadn't gone past the point of no return. Alex smiled.

He hoped Michael would smile soon too.

"Okay. Then I'll be okay."