#rn i can go from the world is ending everything is awful to god i love life over 2 hours

[meruz]

hi meruz please tell me all your thoughts on outer wilds I am absolutely Living rn

HI oh my god i have so many thoughts. I think I'm gonna keep posting fanart so this definitely isnt gonna be my last word on the matter but wow what a game! um... idk if I wanna just type forever but I can give you at least a few key thoughts I had...

It took me a second to get into! I had been waiting for the switch port so I was really excited starting out but there were a couple early play sessions months apart where I was struggling with the controls and overwhelmed with the openness...I have a hard time with a lot of open worlds games because I just..dont have a lot of free time LOL. But I was complaining abt this to my brother and he was also having a hard time rly digging into the game so when he flew over to visit me a couple weeks ago I was like ok lets do this together (incentivizing gaming by making it social/co-operative). And we had a blast!!! it rly is the type of game you can play as co-op just by having someone else on the couch or on stream doin the thinking alongside you or bouncing theories off of. I do think he's a much better puzzle solver than me though lol (he works in research, so he's got that researcher brain), he made a lot of the leaps of logic way early while I was still turning things over in my head lmao.... AND he's better with the controls because he plays a lot of flight sims?! i think he got annoyed watching me bumble around anytime i had the controller. my sole contribution was doing the stealthy parts in the dlc because im stupid and consequentially lack fear.

I kind of grew up playing majoras mask and windwaker like that was the era of zelda games I was rly activated and engaged for as a kid and I didn't realize how much I was missing and craving that type of experience again LOL. I think especially with how I personally felt that tears of the kingdom was narratively and structurally a step down from botw... idk... i mean you can tell from interviews abt Outer Wilds that the devs clearly have a lot of affection for and thoughts abt the Zelda series as well and I think Outer Wilds was like such a good encapsulation of everything I loved abt those games and also everything I wish they would do lol!! IT ALSO kind of solved a lot of my pain points with open world games and did it in a way that was so elegant... like I think i initially recoiled at the openness but then when i started exploring and realized the scope and level of detail it rly clicked into place.. im just in awe.

umm i love every hearthian they were all so charming. it rly did feel like an older school of nintendo rpg where every npc has so much personality lol. i loved that every alien race in the game was some weird animal like the designs for all of them were rly good. i love that it was a "worn" universe and that everything looked old or used. I love astronomy and space and space concepts but I don't really like really lofty and impersonal/minimalist scifi so i feel like this was a great and accessible art direction for me personally. i especially thought the backpacking/outerdoorsy aesthetic was really inspired! I think "exploration" sometimes exists on a spectrum where one end of it can be really colonialist/militaristic LOL... UM which im not like. fully against i think it can be an interesting idea to dissect? but i feel like we see it a lot and it was neat to see this which felt like the complete opposite end of that spectrum. weirdly enough playing Outer Wilds made me immediately go and finally finish Firewatch right after but I felt a little spoiled I was like ehh..that was good but it wasn't Outer Wilds LOL.

i think a lot of the themes reminded me of lord of the rings/tolkien lore LOL IDK. I GUESS THIS IS LIKE BIG SPOILERS SO if you havent played dont read but like. the entire concept of being born at the end of a great and enormous world/age with a rich history and you only getting to see the end of it, living in the shadow of great civilization...keeping your humble home in your heart idk. but then also the new world being a song ... I'm a sucker. I love it.

yeah sorry only compliments. anyways yeah i want to do more fanart... soon!! hopefully!

[11queensupreme11]

What would it be like if the Gods, adults not children, know all this about Percy being from another universe and everything he's going to have to go through and somehow they end up meeting a 12-year-old Percy? I'm talking about a Percy before the field trip to the museum with Mrs. Dotts, which is to say when he didn't know anything about the Gods.

this whole thing just reminds me of this final fantasy 7 ao3 fanfic where everyone got sent back to the past AND remembered what happened... EXCEPT CLOUD and they were all frantically planning on a way to train this poor kid on how to save the world in case sephiroth goes insane again while simultaneously not telling him cuz they didn't want him to remember all his trauma 😭😭😭

(also if anyone knows which fic this, PLEASE SEND ME THE LINK CUZ I FORGOT THE TITLE AND AUTHOR AND I WANNA READ IT AGAIN!!!!)

anyway, if they got isekai-ed to percy's universe in the past AND THEY KNOW what's gonna happen to her, they are absolutely gonna scramble for a way to get back to their universe with percy in order to prevent The Plot from happening 😭😭😭😭

like "hell fucking no my baby is NOT going through any of that!!!!" 😭😭😭😭

i can't even blame them cuz imagine finding this tiny lil 12 year old girl, the de-aged version of someone you love so very much, and KNOWING she's about to go through some traumatizing shit soon and you have the chance to save her from that? they're gonna do whatever it takes to save her from that awful fate!!

poseidon is straight up kidnapping her, getting a child leash, and tethering her to him while he frantically tries to find a way to access the bifrost and send them back home, meanwhile he's got a feral 12 year old trying to gnaw through the leash 💀

hades definitely feels bad for kidnapping her from her poor mother, BUT IT'S FOR PERCY'S OWN GOOD, HE SWEARS!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 he's absolutely not gonna go to any of the gods for help because he's seen their buffoonery and wants no part of it, so it's up to him to find a way back home!!

beelzebub's not gonna bother with a child leash, after he kidnaps her he's whipping out the cuffs again cuz those have a shorter chain AND she can't gnaw them off 💀 probably gives up on the handcuffs tho when she somehow manages to break them and ends up just lugging her around like this:

apollo's gonna be such a nervous wreck. he does NOT want to kidnap her, he would prefer it if she just comes with him willingly but it comes off SO sus like "hi there little girl! do you want some candy? i'm trying to save ur life pls trust me" and percy may be 12 but she's not STUPID, so she goes "stranger danger" and runs away and now he has no choice but to kidnap her while he tries to find a way back 😭

loki's more subtle at first. he'll kill of mrs. dodds, chiron, and grover and shapeshift to become percy's new math teacher to replace dodds. he knows he still has some time before The Plot hits, so he's not TOO panicked rn and when he's not pretending to be a math teacher, he spends his time snooping around asgard to try and figure out how their bifrost works to send them both home. killing those three ^ eliminates the whole field trip issue, but you know, Fates 💀 ofc they find a way to make The Plot keep going so yeah, loki snaps and kidnaps her to keep her safe

i promise you, ten minutes into anubis' arrival in the pjo verse, the news article "freakishly tall furry man kidnaps child from yancy academy -- local furry community claims no ties to the kidnapper" is gonna spread around like wildfire 💀 he is absolutely gonna kidnap her is probably gonna spend most of the time freaking the fuck out instead of actually trying to find a way back home

cú chulainn's got it a little harder. yes he can easily kidnap her, but he's not a god. he's been blessed with his adoptive father's abilities, but he can't like... teleport, be in multiple places at once, easily search the universe in case percy runs away, etc. so he tries to be more discreet about it like loki by killing off mrs dodds and any monsters that come percy's way. he'll try to find a way to the bifrost too, but it'll be more difficult for obvious reasons. it's once The Plot hits does he finally say fuck it and just joins her to keep her close while trying to find a way to access the norse pantheon

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

An Incomplete List: Things I need to be in the RWRB movie

(Including things we already know will be in it because god I’m so excited)

Basically this will just be me listing all my favorite parts of the book so I apologize in advance for how long this will be I’m brainrotting HARD rn)

1. The callback between Henry asking June (maybe Nora tho now) to waltz and then later telling Alex he hates waltzing at the V&A idk why but this is important to me

2. PLEASE a flashback of baby Alex seeing the picture of baby Henry in the J14 magazine I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT

3. Henry’s (and Alex’s) insomnia (because I am also an insomniac and it’s an important part of their characters I feel)

4. ALEX’S GLASSES PLEEEEEASE

5. Star Wars including the Leia and Han references/mural and Henry’s favorite movie being Return of the Jedi because THATS MINE TOO❤️❤️ and also “bit short for a stormtrooper”

6. CORNBREAD AND STUFFING CORNBREAD KNOWS MY SINS HENRY buy a summer home in Majorca with the turkey Mr Wobbles and David picture from Henry and their cute little “we’ve obviously got crushes but we’re ignoring it” phone goodbye

7. EVERYTHING ABOUT NEW YEARS BUT ESPECIALLY ALEX TRYING TO GET HENRY TO DANCE AND HENRY JUST GAY PANICKING

8. Nora’s extrapolated data about Alex’s obvious crush lmao

9. RED ROOOOOOOOOM

10. “Fucking eyelashes” and also “good to know. I am very, very gay.”

11. The stupid titles they use in their emails like His Royal Horniness and Alex First Son of Off-Brand England

12. BABY and LOVE and SWEETHEART I normally hate pet names (minus love I adore that one always) but I am a SUCKER for Firstprince pet names specifically

13. I’d love to see a flashback to young Henry coming out to Bea even for just a second

14. I NEEDNEEDNEED a shot like this in the movie

(Art by vkellyeart) but yes give me a shot like this where they’re on opposite ends of the world “two parentheses enclosing 3700 miles”

15. “Say good morning to your strumpet, Henry.”

16. So I know we won’t get the Hoe Dameron and Prince Buttercup kimonos anymore (sadness) but LET NICHOLAS GALITZINE BELT HIS HEART OUT TO QUEEN I BEG

17. Since we don’t get Cash wearing one SLAP A BRIGHT PINK FEATHER BOA ON AMY PLZ

18. Bea’s lime green drop-waist Wimbledon dress with gold honeybee Gucci sunglasses fight me Ellie Bamber would rock that look

19. So I know we know they don’t dance to Your Song in the V&A but I hope Henry still plays it on the piano or at least it plays somewhere in the movie cuz i love that song also JUST HENRY PLAYING PIANO IN GENERAL PLZ AND LET ALEX LOOK AT HIM WITH SEVERE HEART EYES and then Henry falling asleep on Alex and Alex just laying awake like Well Shit

20. “Most things are awful most of the time, but you’re good.”

21. Alex’s vocabulary apparently only being expletives when Zahra busts in on him and Henry lmao and “yes we can unpack the ironic symbolism later GO” and also “I thought you were getting into international relations or something” “I mean technically—“ “if you finish that sentence I’m gonna spend tonight in jail” 😂😂

22. THE POWERPOINTS HAHAHAH and “You need to figure out if you feel forever about him”

23. “Should I tell you that when we’re apart, you body comes back to me in dreams?” Speech and also the story about the prince with his heart outside his body that met the most dashingly gorgeous peasant boy who said absolutley ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years

24. “Sometimes you just jump and hope it’s not a cliff” and “But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That’s the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

25. Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren’t a wall. Love, Pyramus

26. Obtuse fucking asshole and “I fucking love you, okay?” And “when have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you?” And “I want you— then fucking have me— but I don’t want this” and ok basically you get it their whole goddamn rain-drenched love confession scene

27. The morning after, when Henry says that all the royal shit of “fine” isn’t good enough for him and tells Alex he wants him to help him try to be happy and the chance of a life? That’s one of my favorite scenes if not my absolute favorite and I don’t even know what I need out of it but I know I need it to be PERFECT, including Henry sayings he’s been in love with Alex since they met❤️❤️

28. Prince Consort Road picture plzzzz and everything that happens in the V&A but ESPECIALLY them dancing and “taking a picture of a national gay landmark and a statue”

29. “I want you to know, I’m sure. A thousand percent.” And “I completely fucking love you”

30. AN INCOMPLETE LIST. IF WE DONT GET ALEX NARRATING THE INCOMPLETE LIST WITH A HENRY MONTAGE IN THE BACKGROUND, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE MOVIE????

31. “You and me and history, remember? Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you.”

32. I want Ellen’s reaction to Alex being outed, and Zahra’s as well, with both of them being so supportive. But especially “do you feel forever about him?” “Yeah, I do.”

33. “I won’t lie. Not about this. Not about you.”

34. The crowd outside the palace and the crowds around the world supporting Henry and Alex oh my god i just know imma cry there

35. “You are the absolute worst idea I’ve ever had” Alex’s speech “America: he is my choice.”

36. The suitor pictures

37. Henry’s yellow rose of Texas tie

38. Alex taking Henry to his childhood home is a very small wish but I’d still love to see that

39. Finally, I REALLY hope the movie gives us some kind of epilouge like I don’t even care what kind I just want a future thing where we see them happy in the future at a wedding or literally just sitting together I don’t even care I just want one❤️❤️

I am SO sorry this turned out a lot longer than I expected but goddamn I love this book and I’m so excited for the movie my brain needed something to do lmao

[4c-aperture]

a continued record of bad decision making

(prev)

13x19

ROWENA EP!!!

and the return of toxic yuri shipping iktr

she's so fun and cool and hot an--

can rob benedict fight

so rowena's killing reapers attracted billie's attention??? oh, i see.

jessica is so fun, i kind of love her

can we not leave rowena to her frank castle nonsense??? like im sorry she's breaking sam's heart, but this is very hot of her

"its not easy to get Death's attention" OH, I SEE.

"she's powerful, she's gorgeous, and she's paying me a small fortune. that woman didn't have to put a spell on me." THIS IS SO REAL

the samwena of it all...

THE BILLIEWENA OF IT ALL!!!!

13x20

ohhhh gabriel world tour!!1

i truly hate that i knew exactly where this episode was going the second they show'd loki's kid's names, and the reason i know that is bc of mcu abo fic

ouat peter pan in a suit???

hate that dean winchester is canonically a man who will jack off with another man to p*rn, but bc the story they're jacking off to is het/features women it's not gay

"but he was my father" everything is daddy issues

13x21

dean is right. seven pieces IS normal

"we need lucifer." DO WE THO?

why did we need the split diopter lens for gabriel and rowena d!ck jokes???

ROWENA AND GABRIEL?! FOR SERIOUS?!?!?!

lucifer is so annoying. can he die.

is this spn's serpent's pass ep

they're trying to make me care about deadbeat dad lucifer, and its not working

13x22

please tell me the end of lucifer's arc is him sacrificing himself to save jack and thats the LAST we hear from him

(ik its not :( but a girl can dream)

this brother hug punched me DIRECTLY in the gut

this "im staying" from mary would've hit a LOT more if we'd. yknow. seen ANYTHING from her pov.

i changed my mind jack should kill lucifer personally

mary giving dean parenting advice...

again. we could've had SO MUCH MORE poured into this development

APOCALYPSE CASTIEL?!

why is he vaguely european mafia???

the deanketch is STRONG in this one, my god today

13x23

not they're trying to get me on a marybobby train after JUST getting me ok w ketch as a minor player

...oh this is gon be racist as all hell aint it

badge that says "not as racially insensitive as i could've been"

IS NO ONE GOING TO ASK MAGGIE WHO KILLED HER?!

ofc it was that man

JACK SHOULD KILL LUCIFER

PLEASE SAY THATS WHERE THIS IS GOING

"what if you had your sword?"

bold choice for the spn writers to keep reminding the audience of MUCH better seasons

oh this fight truly is awful

HE'S FINALLY DEAD?! LOOK AT GOD!

them letting jensen wear that fuckass suit was an apology for how BAD that fight scene was

[oatmealdaydreams]

Newest Asides: Reaction Post [Part II]

Part II of the reaction post.

Trigger/Content Warning: wine mention

Beware of spoilers of the new Asides video (Virgil Reacts to...)

[Part I here]

==Actual Content, Part II==

his book is Crosswords for 365 Days by Will Shortz (prob published by New York Times)

^it's smaller text says A year of easy-to-hard puzzles

his tie. omg, his tie.

that is either a red and blue tie OR a dark-orange and blue tie

^either one fits

ANGER - Logan as anger? oh f*ck, the foreboding set in

"and people start acting funny when it comes to rules" -> why does this stick with me. why.

"Lo-gan" -> very nice, Roman

"here he goes again" -> this happens often, doesn't it?

HEY YEAH. Uno wtf

loving Logan's portrayal as Anger (fits him a little too well)

"poo-poo everything I suggest" -> feels a little too canon there, buddy (angst angst angst)

REMUS, MY RAT BASTARD (affectionate)

"that gave me an idea" // "no-"

^f*ckin ded

FEAR - Remus as Fear? hmm, I see, I see…

Remus as Fear is just a YUS from me, omg <3

his white hair streak/fluff, his greenish mustache, his green sweater vest, YUS I LOVE HIM

the bowtie, lmao

"snake, spider, or rat-" oh hey, my three fav Sides -> Snake Boi, Anxious Spider F*ck, and Rat Man

needs to check for snake, spider, or rat? why would he need to check as if they were out to get him or something? hmm?

^thoughts formulating, theories materializing

we are literally talking about sh*t rn

Roman looks so done with Remus - average sibling behaviour

loving the Janus-Remus interactions

"it's very gross- and terrifying" -> yep, that's. that's Fear. Yep.

"are we going to do that?" // "NO, nO-"

^mm, sibling interaction gives me life

oh wait, Remus also has no orange

It appears that the only two without orange on them are Remus & Patton. hmm.

^TIME TO THEORIZE

"Fearmus" // "Joyman" -> both these names are amazing

"Kill-Joyman" lmao

"yeah, that's accurate" -> NOT PATTON AGREEING

aw, now Joyman refrains and holds himself back, nooo

^mm, wonderful angst material tho

Joyman dramatizing Virgil/Other-Anxiety's arrival

I had to stop the dang vid to stim cause skfskafslfjal- no I am not normal about this

the anticipation, oh god why

"Anxiety~" // no one shows up

^lmao, Joyman must've had a "bruh" moment there

"-I can't do this" -> in the deepest voice ever, Virgil wtf

Everyone's reactions, lmao

"Speak for yourself, sweetie" -> f*cking love Janus

OTHER ANXIETY - poor Virgil, he looks so off with the orange

love how angry Virgil is over people thinking Anxiety would look like it's portrayed in the movie

everyone's reactions ksdfaskdf

Remus laughing at him - the Dukexiety content we needed

"sorry, you look stupid" -> Remus omg LMAO (they're besties, your honour)

JANUS. YOU MF, I LAUGHED-

"isn't that not how he always looks?" -> mm, classic Janus & Virgil hostility, my fav <3

Virgil shutting it down gives me the idea that all of them [the Sides], not only the twins (Creativity), can end Daydream Mode or whatever this is

"oh, buddy" -> reminds of when Virgil said he didn't like being called 'kiddo' so Patton was like "okay" and now calls him 'buddy'

loving all of their interactions with each other, just the Sides being a mess of a family

JANUS & REMUS HAVE THEIR OWN SPOTS!!

^hey, does this signify that c!Thomas has accepted them as parts of himself? just saying.

^^he doesn't have to like them to accept them, btw

the map behind Remus? yus, love that for his spot cause he's Creativity and thus can create worlds (the map fits that aspect) [this was a bit of stretch - leave me be]

"I was told there would be wine" -> ah makes sense, Janus was bribed

"…told I could kill Bing-Bong" -> yep checks out, Remus was also bribed

Headcanon: Patton bribed those two Dork Sides

love how those two were frickin bribed into this, lmao

"has the vibe shifted" -> idk why but this killed me (laughing)

"oh good, you reminded me of that scene" -> sad Patton; he plays Sadness so well (even when not Sadness - oh no)

"I always played Fear" -> not only have they done this before, but roles were pre-established and got switched because of the sequel (and Virgil playing Fear makes Biggo Sense, cause fear and anxiety kinda intertwine themselves [in a way])

^it seems like maybe Jan & Re don't usually play games with them like this, and maybe this is their first times as a group of six? Like, this is Jan's & Re's first time just hanging out with the other four?? cause of dialogue and how things are worded

"similar energies" -> why is so Remus GenZ-coded? (I say as a GenZ) (it's funny to me)

"no, he's right" -> besties besties besties (Jan & Re)

Roman Misunderstands Janus counter, anyone?

yep, floral-designed hoodie. the motif never ends

"Hi Bud" -> Pat's face is like :D

"Oh god, yes" -> he sounds so relieved to see Thomas, aw

"aesthetic-based casting" -> explains why Patton was Sadness and Janus was Disgust; but why Remus as Fear? and Ro as Joy?? hmm, must form some thoughts…

^wait, what does that mean for Logan? FOREBODING

^^WAIT, REMUS AS FEAR MAKES SENSE NOW - OH NO

maybe Ro was Joy cause he desperately wants control of a situation because with everything happening in canon, he's lost control of things and f*cked up and- angst angst angst

Virgil and Other Anxiety are so different, jfc

"Doctor Who is stupid" // "FALSEHOOD"

^and that's why he was Anger, yep, I see now

why does Logan express actual emotion but only ever through anger (and sass)? TIME TO THEORIZE

maybe because Logan was usually dismissed/not taken seriously whenever he expressed emotion, so now all he has is sass & anger & a cold-exterior mask to hide behind? (evident from earlier videos)

aww, Ro being kind to Vi and platonic Prinxiety being friends slkffslkfdlsafjkd

"is that really how some people would think Anxiety would like?" -> the Others' reactions - oh no, the silence

"they all wanna say yes" -> Remus, this is why you're my fav character

love how Remus is kinda chill/domestic this episode <3

Remus be forcing others to confront things they're trying to avoid, and that's my fav thing about him

can you tell I'm a Remus stan yet

"nope" -> yeah, that's Remus [lmao]

Remus and Virgil are such besties in this, and I LOVE IT

==More IRL Thomas==

mm, promo

stickers, I wish I could have ye

yay, famous outro

==End Card==

Sadton Tries To Pun but gets Pun-Blocked by Anger-Logan

"interrupting cow" -> he's so sad, noooo

Joyman horribly singing to musicals is not something I expected, but I love it anyway

"it has been THREE. HOURS. I will murder you with a butterknife!" OtherAnxiety-Virgil is a whole mood

JANUS FINALLY GETTING HIS WINE

Him calling Remus "buddy" is everything to me

^Janus sounds like a frickin wine mom, omg

"idk, I just let him play" -> explains so much about Jan & Re, dear frickin god

why does the wine look like Kool Aid-

[wikiangela]

the boys 4x02 thoughts!

will ferrell in a vought movie??? lmao A-train looks so over it 🤣 I really want him to snap and finally do something but idk if he has it in him lol but not like he has much to lose anymore tbh

yeah they hired someone to play Noir, knew it - but dude, do not talk especially in public 🤦‍♀️

Hughie's mom was talking to his dad the last few years but couldn't reach out to her son? wow. also, why is she putting all that shit all over the room 🙄

oh no, I like Colin 😫 don't get attached, don't get attached, don't get attached 🤞🤞

aw, Kimiko's in therapy! good for her! or, I mean, she tried lol

oh wow Butcher told everyone he's dying! i really thought he'd drag it out lol

omg MM kicked him out of the team 🤣 I feel like that was inevitable 🤣

"Homeboy" is....no. can we let the boy be himself and not a copy of his dad? i mean, idk if homelander's ego can handle that actually 🤣

he's so lucky to have sage fr, but this is gonna be bad for the boys isnt it 😬

ooooh Ashley doesn't like that 👀

ofc Homelander is gonna get jealous and like they're trying to replace him with Ryan lol how did they not predict that 🤣 also, they did it before, replaced Soldier Boy with Homelander lol

Kimiko looks so cool, I love her wardrobe

Butcher is such a menace lmao pray for MM not to kill him 🤣🤣

"why is the world's smartest person in a place like this" that's a good question tbh, whyyy is she with homelander, what's her goal 🤔

this is the season Kimiko is gonna face her past isnt it 🤩 cant wait!

is that rob Benedict?? omg i didnt recognize him, only his voice lol

omg someone shut that bitch up lmao its so ridiculous but also not far off from what some people believe irl which is just sad and scary

Frenchie looks so good this season 🔥

Frenchie and Kimiko are the ultimate duo, i love them, both working together and their friendship lol

drunk kimiko is everything 🤣🤣

oh.my.god. i... did not need to see that 🤣🫣

oh poor Nathan 😭 i feel so bad for him

sooo firecracker or whatever her name is is being recruited too? wtf are they doing

Butcher did deserve to get punched tbh 💁‍♀️ MM has dealt with his shit enough

A-Train coming through lol he's always flipflopping so much 🤣

*of course* homelander steals Ryan's moment smh who could've predicted that 🙄

OMG Ryan just killed a guy, i literally gasped lol

not surprised it was a trap but fr sage is good, its not gonna be easy to defeat her 😬

there's too much dick on the screen rn lmao why all the zoom ins 🤣🤣

yesss Butcher joined! they need the full team!

homelander leave that poor child alone while he's still not completely fucked up 🙄

your mom was "only human" Ryan, remember her? 😪

oh frenchie nooo 😭 he killed Colin's family?? oh I knew something was coming but this??? how did it happen, why, wtf??? oh frenchie 😭

go hughie!! and his mom can go fuck herself 😤😤

oh kimiko is going through it 😭 i hope by the end of the season she will go to therapy lol

Butcher can go work with JDM's character now 👀👀👀

god I love this show, so excited to see where the fuck they're going (also I miss maeve 😪)

[lostfracturess]

i’ve got my work laptop out and my phone in hand to live react to this chapter 😼

omg i kneww it was the fkn student he punched. satoru’s so sweet to not want to drag her into a courtcase though.

kafka 😩🫶🏼💕 ive been on such a kafka kick lately omg (not so much reading his actual works but looking at kafka tumblr quotes 😔 i feel motivated to actually read his works now) also the way he sees her?? we’re so beautiful to him 🤭

“what a fucked up way to describe it. a child, small and defenseless against an unyielding force. where was the justice in that?”

☹️☹️☹️ ok i’m teared up. wtf.

“for all her strength and boldness, there was this fragile core to her. one that the world, am i, seemed intent on bruising.”

😩🤚🏼 i feel for reader fr she can do no wronggg in my eyes omg i can FEEL the stress of all this fkn research & trials gone wrong omg. she’s such an empath and it’s takin a toll on my girl over here

OHMYGOSHHH she saw the lawyer papers plsss higurama you had one job 😓 also i know im supposed to hate how secretive n stubborn he is but something ab his habit of shutting reader up w kisses 😩🤚🏼 i like my men toxic like that LMFAO

yaga laying innnn on him omg i love the consequences of his actions catching up to him. the forbidden romance is forbidden romancinggg. THE ETHICS COMMITTEE….hmm i mean considering the power dynamic i think satoru would def be the one to take the brunt of accusation if they were caught 🤔 i really wonder if reader would receive as heavy of a fall from grace as he would

omg the elevator stuck scene 🫣 PLS HE CONSIDERS FUCKING HER IN THE ELEVATOR!!?? IM SCREAMING. also they need to stop talking ab thisss in the elevator omg ppl might be listening or recording 😔 where is higurama w the legal counsel.

i cant tell if its my iced coffee giving me palpitations rn or if its your fucking writing (most likely latter). i looove how theyre resolved to try n keep each other tho :”) despite facing the things going on rn.

sheesh those lab results lmao that patient’s liver gotta be fucked 🤣 Oh WHAT ITS SATORU’s LIVER 😨 NOOO.

aw a signed kafka book?!? 😩🤚🏼 lord…

im on the basketball scene and ugggh first of all basketball satoru?!?! NEED. just imagining his arm muscles flexing while he’s shootin a shot 😩 also he’s sooo whipped for her oh my god. need a man who loves this deeply.

OHY MY GOD A SPARE TO HIS APARTMENT ITS SO REAL. ITS ALL FEELING SO REAL RN. SCREAMING. TRYING SO FKN HARD TO HIDE THE SMILE ON MY FACE RN.

oh god i cant ice ant i cant the hydropmorphone this sshift in energy i cant. to the bathroom for my ten min i go because i alr know imma need to scream for this 😭😭😭

NO WAAAYYY HE’s DOIN DRUGSS OFF OF HER IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND. OH MY GOD IM CLUTCHING MY PEARLS RN. OVER SUGURU’s FUCKING DESK?!????

OH. MY. GOD. SATORU IS THE FUCKING DEVIL. HE’s THE DEVIL. I……….I JUST GOT TO THE END. I COULD DEADASS SCREAM RN. THE— THE GUMPTION. THE GALL?!?!? TO LICK HIS FUCKING FINGERS.

i…….🧍🏻‍♀️i’m literally shaking. im SHAKING like IM the one w a panic attack or withdrawal rn. you ate this chapter up. you ate this chapter ALL the way fucking up and i could cry rn. no words. pheewww AND IM SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON W MY DAY AFTER THIS?!????!

fuck.

girl you make me cry with your comments! 😭❤️ yes, satoru is such a sweetheart for dealing with the lawsuit with money that she wouldn't have to go to court, even if that means he would have to swallow that bitter pill. green flag!!

and yes, pls pls read kafka! there are a lot of short books and stories of him that are just like a four hour read but so worth it, can't recommend that enough!!

OHMYGOSHHH she saw the lawyer papers plsss higurama you had one job

higurma must have done it on purpose i'm so sure!! like i wrote it, but still am not quite convinced it was a coincidence ahhh! and him shutting her up with kisses is EVERYTHING. bit toxic okay, but EVERYTHING.

the forbidden romance is forbidden romancinggg.

yes, the forbidden romance is catching up to them, how would have thought. like satoru was not even trying to hide it that much, but now he's surprised?? he's so stupid.

PLS HE CONSIDERS FUCKING HER IN THE ELEVATOR!!?? IM SCREAMING.

yeeeessss!! he really considered it a split second as he knows that will work quite good to shut her up ahaha he's so miserable with talking and feelings. but he sure knows what he's good at and how to use that. 🌚🌚

im on the basketball scene and ugggh first of all basketball satoru?!?! NEED. just imagining his arm muscles flexing while he’s shootin a shot

yes!!! i want to rewrite this scene out of reader pov just to be able to describe a bit of how this mf handsome man looked in this scene for us to please ahhhh.

also he’s sooo whipped for her oh my god. need a man who loves this deeply.

he's down bad for her and this will be his undoing. but yes, everyone deserves a man how's on his knees for his girl!!!

NO WAAAYYY HE’s DOIN DRUGSS OFF OF HER IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND.

he's so fkn feral omg, like he really got some nerves doing that aahhhhh. also over suguru's desk ahahah. still he could lick every drug he wants from my body at any time ngl.

I COULD DEADASS SCREAM RN. THE— THE GUMPTION. THE GALL?!?!? TO LICK HIS FUCKING FINGERS.

HE HAS NO SHAME!!! this man is so unhinged and i loved every second writing him like that. he maybe is about to lose his mind but he's still serving while going insane!!

thank you so so much for your comments on this chapter, is was so funny to see your reaction while reading!!! thank you so so much for your support and taking your time to write this (also on your rec on the story??? reposting this in a minute), wishing you nothing but the best! 🥲🫶🫶

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3 Future Arc episode 11

Thonks.

I had no predictions or anything for this.

Ohh shit we're getting back to the past with the end of the first game.

That giant door.

I always wondered if we'd see this moment.

... Yeah the world looks, fucked.

Oh, I didn't think the future foundation found them this early.

"Hopes Peak has been liberated" not cos of anything you guys did.

Ohhh, so Junko got away with it because Chisa didn't think she was behind all of this.

Which is something we now know Juzo would've backed up.

Confirmation Chisa still despaired.

Back to the present.

I like how Asahina is giving the evidence, it's Kyoko's notes but it's nice she's on the detective team too.

... WAIT... What?!

It was a suicide... A mass suicide?

No one was murdered by an attacker, everyone just killed themselves.

... What?!

Welcome to Danganronpa 3 the anime, enjoy the ride, wipe your tears and don't forget to go fuck yourself.

So every body was found next to a monitor?

... And now Makoto is tied up and somethings gonna happen at the time limit?

I am so confused.

Bringing up that Kyoko would've been pissed he'd reached his limit rn and the promise he made Komaru.

Sweet and I admire your determination, but it's making me nervous.

OHHH so a new attacker gets picked every time, and they figured out the next one is Makoto.

People joke that Danganronpa is basically Mafia, this is literally Mafia.

... Just a lot more bloody.

The bracelets wake you up when you're near a monitor and than tell you're the attacker.

I like that, that's clever.

And it's not live like every other footage usually is, it's a recording.

I didn't think we'd be getting Monokuma theatre.

It's about time.

.... Nevermind this is werid, it's just the song playing in reverse... Ohhh shit... It's the brainwashing stuff isn't it?

Oh no.

WHAT?! KYOKO?... SAYAKA?!

... Oh no...

So they get to your fears and worries and drive you into wanting to kill yourself.

... Fuck... And Makoto is the worst person to be in this because he already has so much survivors guilt.... Oh no.

Talk about a class reunion.

O....fuck...no, Makoto!

I am genuinely horrified.

And than it shifts to their dead bodies too...

When Kyoko died I said something like if Makoto can smile after this, it's a miracle.

That... But times it by infinity.

I did not expect this to be the route they went down, that Makoto would be seeing his entire fallen classmates telling him he should've died.

Oh this so awful.

... Okay I did laugh at Mondo being a puddle of butter with a coat on top.

That was funny.

But this is still all horrifying.

Cut back to the real world and he's just... Screaming and crying while tied up.

This is painful, this hurts so much.

Poor Makoto.

.... And it drops you a blade... Oh no... Someone wake up, please..

... PLEASE...

Also Munakata you didn't tie him down properly.

His eyes!

His flowing red and white despair filled eyes....

Wait Juzo's alive?!

I'm relieved he stopped Makoto but I'm also not happy that he's choking him.

At least Makoto's back... I need to sit down, but I'm already sitting.

Oh God that was... What the fuck... What the fuck.

Oh and Juzo cut his arm off, okay sure why not.

Makoto you are waay to cheerful after... That.

Wasn't expecting this erm... Reflection from Juzo but you know yeah. Yeah you were all manipulated.

Wait Juzo wanted Makoto to die since he left Hopes Peak? What? Because he defeated Junko and you couldn't?

...That is, so dumb.

I appreciate you feeling bad for everything and that pissed she manipulated you which caused all of this.

But that's not Makoto's fault.

Time to destroy the monitors.

Wait, it was the Director?!

What?

Okay so Munakata knows Chisa was with the Remnants and that she and Juzo vouched for Junko.

That sucks.

I don't think anyone could accuse you, Juzo Sakakura of being a softy.

Go to him, let him confess his... Very obvious feelings for you.

Oh yeah you did leave him to die, but you could not do that now? Maybe?

Oh he running! Oh he running! But I think it's too late... Yup...

Wow I was not expecting Makoto to just casually go to Ryota like "huh werid video... You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?"

Chills Makoto, chills.

"You have a message from Tengan"

... What?!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC!!! GOOD EVENING!!!!!! im thinking soo hard abt interesting fairytale things rn but also. i would LOVE to hear abt ur danny phantom thing?(images aren't loading for me but i think? graphic novel? normal novel?? 👀) ??????!!!! i'm peripherally interested in dp on the basis that my beloved mutual (u) is into it & im!!!! curious!!!! whys it so good!!!! tell me!! free infodump card for u 👀👀👀

THIS ASK IS A MISTAKE. BEWARE. FUCK. DUDE I COULD TALK ABOUT DANNY PHANTOM FOR SO LONG IM NOT EVEN KIDDING IVE GOT . NEARLY 20 YEARS WORTH OF LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. I AM 23 YESRS OLD. THATS HOW SERIOUS I AM . IM.*THE* DANNY PHANTOM GUY THERES A REASON ALL OF MY USERNAMES ARE DP REFERENCES. ohhhh my god. where do i even fucking start. i guess ill start with agit but im still so overwhelmed with love that i have not fully processed yet so prepare for this to be a total fucking mess of words

so. the show ended in.. 2007. and. god the last episode sucks so fucking bad. bad enough that the fandom as a whole collectively agrees it does not exist it never happened . phantom planet isnt real phantom planet cant hurt you if you dont look at it or think about it ever. i could go on a whole. rant about how much phantom planet sucks but instead ill just say butch hartman (<< creator of the show) is a fucking. annoying awful person and he was greedy + wanted more money from nickelodeon than they were willing to give him so they gave him a hard limit on episodes before the shoe would be canceled. so. season 3 goes downhill SO fast and ends with the fucking disaster that is phantom planet . and !!! you know how disappointing it is to have your facorite show have a garbage ending!! it sucks!! so then there was like. a HUGE HUGE long silence where there was. 0 canon content bc hartman considered it a flop and kind of just. abandoned it until he wanted clout (there were a few gameboy games that came out after the show ended + some nickelodeon games that included danny as a character + butch made a youtube channel where he would spout absolute death of the author garbage about the show every time he wanted attention but it was mostly dead silence) UNTIL. AGIT. A GLITCH IN TIME IS THE FIRST CANON SHOW COMPLIANT CONTENT THAT HAS BEEN RELEASED SINCE 200 GODDAMN 7. FUCK . and not only is it canon compliant it is ALSO A CONTINUATION OF MY FAVORITE EPISODE IN THE WHOLE SERIES.

so. my favorite episode. is ultimate enemy. it was one of the 4 movie-length episodes and the basic premise is. danny uses his ghodt powers to cheat on a huge standardized test and this sets off a butterfly effect reaction that leads to a timeline where his family + friends get killed in an explosion and he loses his mind and turns into the worlds most powerful villain <3 you can see why i like it so much im sure (<< guy who has a documented chronic weakness for stories where a good guy turns bad etc)

SO AT THE END OF THE EPISODE. Dan (the evil future danny) is trapped and locked away forever . but at the end of the ep theres a scene that hints to a possible future episode where he escapes !!!! so there was always a teased sequel but this sequel was never created due to aforementioned. budget issues and cancellation. etc. buggest disappointment of my life. UNTIL AGIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was released. july of this year . and i am just reading it now bc its been burning a hole in my bedside table bc it never felt like the right time to read it until this morning for some reason. and fuck its so good its literally everything i wanted.

i dont know how involved butch hartman was in the creation of it but the author (gabriela epstein) is obviously someone who cares deeply about the show and the characters and im so fucking happy about it she did an incredible job. i literally had to pause a handful of times in the first few pages just because the characters and dialogue were written so well and it was like SUCH a breath of fresh air (the fandom is. so bad. its so bad. because its been around for so long people have such insane warped takes on a lot of the characters and its become completely unbearable to me ive had to block the tag and its so painful. this is literally the only reason i am not reblogging dp content constantly. i have to filter it through artists i know can handle the characters properly. if i was not nerfed by the awful fandom it would be 24/7/365 dp lockdown and id be so unbearable) OH ALSO not only is agit a continuation of my alltime favorite episode, it also retcons the garbage pile that is phantom planet in a way that acknowledges that it was a real thing that happened but going back on it in a way that feels so so so so natural for the show. so it wasnt a throwaway "no that was bad lets forget about it" it was a well crafted well thought out "this was real and it sucked and the characters remember it BUT we can play with timeline so things will continue as normal" and . holy shit it was so fucking good. i will begrudgingly acknowledge phantom planets existence if only for agit.

uhhhhhhhh fuck this is so long and i am running our of directed steam so if i keep talking i will just start rambling about the intricacies and holy shit dude i could literally talk about danny phantom for hours and hours and hours and hours if theres anything else u want to know i am the guy . i am the guy forever

[z-exo-l]

Cream Soda First Impression

As usual, audio first.

Oop! Kindaa…cbx? KYUNGSOO! Omg YES Sehun! Minnie???

…stop. I can’t!!!

I *love* the lower tones they’re playing with. Go rapline!

GET IT UP??? …Is that Jongin??? Sehun??? What???

…??? Kyungsoo??? What are you doing up there??? Did Kyungsoo just take the final high chorus while Baek took the ad libs what is this world we’re living in???

IS THAT KJI OR AM I LOSING IT!?!?!? IS THAT SEHUN??? OMG IF THAT’S HIM—

Okay. Visual now.

Okay, aesthetic ish opening.

!!! Sorry, Kyungsoo’s face just threw me back.

Oh my god, center Junmyeon? 😃

STOP KYUNGSOO OH MY GOD, ACK!!!

Go Sehun, go Sehun!! 😄

Minseok is such a chameleon, oh my god.

CENTER JONGDAE???? I’m living for this! Still hate that jacket though babe.

Btw I’m not especially commenting on the innuendos in these lyrics, I’m just gonna say that 1, these are grown ass men and we should normalize these kinds of songs. And 2, the *nerve* to rate this age 12!

You know, Sehun is fucking eating it rn, and I *get* that people miss Jongin, but please don’t ignore how well osh’s doing this sexy choreo. Good chorus honey!! 👏🏻

Now then. !!! GODDAMNIT KYUNGSOO STOP THAT!! THE LYRICS! BAEKSOO! (You know if you say baeksoo really fast it sounds like a sneeze! Sorry! My brain did its thing. 😅 Blame him!)

Jongdaaae oh my go—CHANSOO CHESS!

HOLY FUCK MINS— KYUNGSOO I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT HE’S DOING CHOREO IN THE SEXY OUTFIT! HE’S DOING CHOREO IN THE SEXY OUTFIT!!! I’m so sorry Minnie, you look gorgeous, that’s what rewind is for! These LYRICS!!! I didn’t need kms saying Yum Yum!

Oh FUCK YOU PCY PUT THAT AWAY! EXO-SC SLAY!!!

You know? I can see why they were exhausted with the dance practice. This beast needs stamina and we’re only half done. 😬

YEEES SEXY JUNMYEON with the voice, and you are KILLING it in these silks!!! Wait… 😑 I’m getting real tired of ksoo and his cleavage stealing my focus! Aww, poor baby’s hips are awful stiff 😅

Yeeees go Baekhyun! 😍 That outfit I swear to go—GET A LEASH ON HIS MAN WHY IS KYUNGSOO PULLING SO MUCH SUPPORT??? He’s *never* near the center this much!!! 😶 Ngl, I feel teased w that partial shot of Baek before the body rolls could commence.

?? Hello. Who are you?? 😑 No one was talking to you Chanyeol, stop that!

OH MY GOD IT IS KAI!!!! I’m so glad to hear him, even for a little bit!! 😭😭😭

Whaaatchya doin there Junmyeon? 😀 I feel like the mv is going TAME and letting the lyrics do the literal dirty work. Oh my GOD this man and his silks!!!

YEEEESS VOCAL KING Jongdae LET IT OUT!!!

!!!You expect poor Ksoo to sing chorus with THIS choreo???

THAT’S JUST RUDE Baeksoo tag team!

Baekhyn you cocky bastard…

CENTER MINSEOK GIMME!!!

Of *course* give Jongin the dirty lyric w out music so we can completely hear EVERYTHING.

……………Okay, I’m sorry. Am I the only one who thinks between all their pair ups in the mv and the disheveled looks they had at the end (from the wild choreo no doubt) the way Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are walking down the stairs looks like they just fucked and had a really good time doing it?

CENTER AND VOCAL SEHUUUN! …And as if he’s slapping me in the face, Kyungsoo looking all sweaty goDDAMN!!!

OHHH Firework logo!!! OMG!!! Was the clock stuff in the other mvs related to New Years??? And turning back time??? ….my brain hurts.

Can I say, I can see why Baek gave Kyungsoo a shout out for the choreo on twitter. He was putting in WORK!!!

Omg, I’m so giddy, but I have to listen to the album before I can rb stuff! Off to do that.

[momiamtired]

chapter 2 so they think im cringe. i will never be able to see my friends bc i will be able to leve canada onlt after 4 years bc of this stupid and random biometrics shit and i had only chance of meeting them this summer but now its all pointless bc of a random canada government decision. i want to pee so bad and this stupid american bitch is washing her ass for 2348493 hours with stupid pop childish music in the background gosh. i lost 700 dollars recently idk where or how i genuanly dont know its prob my roommate but im not sure so basically yeah and im reallt sensitive about losing money so yesterday was a fun day to me. my stupid mind is doing some crazy shit and tries to convince me to believe in karma or god idk basically its if i will think that everything will be bad then everything will be good but i should genuanly believe it all will be bad and i just go back n forth with this idea always going on on my minds. i have a couple of different templates of how this world from my mind' perspective works but im too tired to think ab it. ig every time i think that its just what it is its just how wolrd is and nobody is giving me a happy time after all of this is over as my mind always tries to constantly tell me i guess its just too painful for me. i want to believe that i will be happy in a short time. i want too. but every day i wake up and some awful shit happens to me. its awful to be extraverted and i dont have friends here. i hate this fucking bitch PLEASE leve i want to use toilet wtf is wrong with u. pleeeeaseee im all sweaty npw bc of how i want to pee. i noticed that they wash themselves so rarely here. idk why my roommate smells just awful and she is 22 and she never washes herself so at night when i have troubles sleeping i also need to smell her beatiful aromas and im gonna be silent ab her mouth like she never washes her teeth how can u have so many man and smell so awful and be so nasty. anyways i dont reallt know what to do? i lost my motivation to even live( but not to eatt i will never lose it i have ed) i just dont want to do anything to see anything to feel anything i just want to die and be reborn. i dont believe in reincarnation but being able to not feel anything is better than living how i live now. i never cry but i cry here really often. like a couple of times per weak? i never cry literally never. that bc my coping mechanism is trying to find a decision and i will fucking find this decision even if im gonna die but rn there is no decision there is nothing there is just finnish studying than good luck to being lucky for finding a place to live and a job and if u wont find a placce to stay u will have to sleep on a bed with a roommate who washes herself once per weak and stole ur only money. and even now my mind is trying to say to me that i will be fine and the situation will be better! but fuck u it wont be better and i know it because there is no fucking hope left here there is literallt nothing left no fucking move will make it better NOTHING will make it better. im a fucking psychology major wtf is wrong with me. i just cant believe how cruel the life is and how awful it is and how i just couldnt ever think it could get that bad. its just all of my failures they are so random and its not even my fault in any of those! and as i told u my mind again tries justify everything that is happening to me like no just think ab it!! no way it can be this awful right? no way this all could happen to u just like this and without a happy ending! yes it can and yes it happened and im tired of expecting something good to happen to me i just want to die pls why do i have parennts it would be so much easier. i would love to leave this hell and so study to europe but we already spent SO much money on only this first semester so i cant even imagine how can i justify going back home in my head, in front of my relatives. i hate myself

[faerise-fae]

ASPD girlie here.

I've tried telling people from the start that im diagnosed for them to be at least aware. Doesn't end well. I've had some men take it as challenge thinking they can change me and some cool potential friends thinking everything i tell them is a lie or manipulation to get something out of them. But most of the time people just don't take it seriously bc they think I'm trying to be edgy.

Now I only tell about my aspd to people irl when I want our relationship to be more "fair". "Fair" because I still lie and stuff but at least they are have more chances at "beating" me in this game, lmao. Because the thing is I can't take seriously 98% of people around me. They are less than me ofc but they are also fun in the way puppies or kittens are but nothing more. I don't consider them equal to me in any way. I still have relationships with them I find them funny and i want them to like me. I have no fucking idea why but I value the most people who make me laugh.

Rn i have one close friend who knows about this and i try to be honest with her. I lie and then tell her sorry i lied and she just looks at me with such understanding in her eyes. I adore her the most of everyone and that makes her special. Not equal but special. She's my favorite person in the world rn and im kinda obsessed with her. Our relationship started with platonic version of love bombing and idk I just never stopped it. I dont do it because i feel love but because she feels loved that way and i want her to stay. I adore her but again i wouldn't consider her my equal. I think she's naive, that her love life is a fucking catastrophe and that shes dumb. But i still adore her. Not like a kitten but not like a person either. She makes me laugh so much tho!!! And shes so kind and understanding. I like her a lot but I do not respect her.

There was only one person who I consider equal to be and thats because she found out that theres something wrong with me and my empathy. She was the one who gave me an idea to even try and get myself diagnosed. I consider her equal and i still respect her a lot even if we don't talk anymore and she was so fucking awful to me last time we talked. But I understand why she was like this and i respect that too. I

Idk I'm not the most sane person in the room but I'm not this crazy violent joker wannabe with knife in my pocket waiting for people in dark alley. My empathy is not instinct based but more knowledge? I love reading character studies and literature focused on emotion to understand it. I kinda crave it tbh. Don't get me wrong I think of my aspd as a literal blessing. I really really like myself and i wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine being able to feel full range and intensity of emotion everyone "normal" feel. I'd go insane probably because the stuff i hear from friends and from people in general sound so fucking miserable. I've saved myself the trouble. But I still crave connection and being understood. Which probably is not gonna happen and I can live with it. I just grieve it from time to time.

Idk I'm not good person (even tho my favorite person would argue here because "im good to her so im good person" lmao) and I really dont like when people say that aspd doesn't make you bad person. Maybe you aren't the bitch with aspd/npd thats a bad person but I am. Because I know im a bad person on the inside. I just sometimes choose to act like a good person. And that balances itself out. I know I'm kinda "evil" but my friends think of me as a good friend. I know i dont feel love but my favorite person feels loved by me and thats enough for me. My grandparents absolutely adore me, my dad loves me and my little sister and niece look at me like I'm a god. I worked hard for those relationships and i deserve them and everything that comes with them (money, gifts, compliments and respect). I like being liked and I won't be liked by doing shitty things to others. So I don't. Because that's not the outcome I want.

Thats how it works in my head. Idk if it helped you understand aspd bc I'm kinda a special case. Most aspd bitches have this "hate other people and the world is doomed" thing which I don't. I really like other people, they are funny and amusing af in a positive way. And thats really important to me.

A genuine question for people with ASPD or/and NPD

People with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) or/and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), I am genuinely curious about what you believe is the core part of aspd and npd, and how you see the world. How does it feel to have these disorders? How do people treat you? How do you treat people? How can one understand how it must be like for you?

These disorders are VERY stigmatised. Even actual medical journals and sites perpetuate this stigmatisation, and there's this whole thing of "narcissistic abuse" or that all people with antisocial personality disorder are serial killers. I simply refuse to believe this, it's not nuanced enough, and I genuinely seek to understand. And maybe other people may find this thread of posts and also understand.

So people with npd/aspd, add on, explain anything you wish people knew about your disorder.

Coming from a fellow person with a highly stigmatised disorder (schizophrenia) who wishes to understand.

[my-lunaberg]

OKAYYYYYYYY okay, Im about to watch Tommys The Last Stream vod after I go for another quick walk, after that its just Tubbos stream which is probably just the same thing but from a different pov anyway, then its just the Syndicate End vod and then its just a two minute video of Ranboos end and then Im finally free. I really wish I could do this properly on my blog instead of having to do this in my notes app but I simply cannot wait another day. Im so hopped up on adrenaline rn i dont think I can sleep tonight, especially if I dont finally finish this. Also I have therapy tomorrow when Im writing this and I need to calm tf down before I show up at the therapists office all shaky n shit because of some minecraft roleplay. Its almost 6 pm rn and I shall be free of this nightmare before the clock strikes midnight. Amen.

*

Tubbitch boi

*

I dont even have anything to say man

*

This is so upsetting dude

*

I made it through these first 15 minutes with basically no pausing and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that bc I just know the second that joker starts talking to Dream I'll be pausing every 5 seconds

*

Why the fuck does the prison look like it was under water for like a decade and now theres just barnacles n shit growing on everythinh

*

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABEY RIGHT ROUND

*

DREAM

*

Alright I took two minutes to mentally prepare myself now Im ready for this

*

Wait why the fuck was he just hangin out in the main cell if he wasnt even expecting Tommy. weirdo behaviour

*

PUNZ IS THERE AS WELL??? WERE THEY HAVING A DATE IN THE TORTURE BOX

*

"IM READY TO FUCKING KILL THE BOTH OF YOU"

*long uncomfortable pause*

"Uhm... okay"

*

It looks like Tommy is doing a good job stalling them so far so Im very curious how it goes from this to the stuff Ive read spoilers about

*

Ouhhhhhh I wonder how hes gonna react to that dig at Spirittttttt.........

*

Okay, no like verbal ouward reaction but that is what got him to start attacking Tommy

*

I dont think Punz will care that Tommy tried to kill himself bc of Dream, I think hed find that kinda hot

*

"The world doesnt fucking revolve around you"??? Bro Punz Boomer arc??? "Those darn zoomers wanting compassion and kindness after almost killing themselves

*

"Youre insane to think everything revolves around you" hello?? says the guy who fancies himself a god and also thinks everyone but him and his boytoy deserve to die because theyre "simple-minded"

*

OH NO i completely forgot, the nuke is not gonna hit them. this is allpretty much pointless

DAMN YOU JACK MANIFOLD

*

Okay listen, Im a huge c!Dream sympathetizer and I know this is gonna end with him being presented in a sympathetic and pitiable light and Im gonna fall for it no matter what because of course I am but like, he has been so comically awful throughout this entire finale I am not expecting this to end in an actually satisfying way at all

*

Oh that sly dog got him monologuing

*

Girl help I dont remember pre-rp dsmp well enough to tell if Dream is embellishing shit and victimizing himself or not

*

OKAY dream smp from Dreams pov lets gooooooo

*

??? what.

*

Bro Dream is not in his right mind hes so far away from his right mind he might as well be chillin in lmoonberg that guy is so mentally ill (source: I have like atleast 90% of his mentall illnesses for sure)

*

what do you MEAN "know more"???

*

Maybe Im just a simple minded nihilist but why does that matter man. Why die so you can "know more" when you can live and have like, a party with your buddies

*

Honestly, I feel like Dreams motivations are so stupid at this point, like literally just make him someone who worships XD and is favoured by him or whatever and then also have him have this morbid curiosity about the stuff beyond the server and have him try and become god while appeasing his actual god in the hopes that he'll reveal his otherworldly knowledge to him or whatever idk man

*

Hows Dream gonna grow old with the people he loves when he doesnt have fucking friends HAH got im

*

No offense but why has most of this finale been Tommy philosophically waxing about how you should accept death even though all thats waiting for you on the other side is eternal torment with Dream responding by being like "but why though?? :(" when that has like, literally nothing to do with any of the Dream SMPs themes? Like, okay, theres been a ton of storylines obviously but the two main ones are definitely Tommy vs Dream (its essentially the throughline to all this bullshit) and Wilbur, Lmanberg and every single attempt at a country after that. Because of this I would say that the dsmps themes are Cycles of Violence and Legacy and when they intersect you occasionally get glimmers of this idea of History Repeating Itself.

The Legacy theme is insanely well executed, no notes, Im in love

The Cycles of Violence theme.... less so. I'll probably make a more detailed post about this in the future since I dont wanna waste too much time with this liveblog. But I personally think that if they wanted to pull this theme off while also making Dream sympathetic, he absolutely needed to be affected by the violence he inadvertently caused and the audience needs to actually see it in atleast one (1) scene that would be impossible to twist into something unsympathetic unless you were looking at it in bad faith. Dream being thrown in jail and subsequently physically tortured wouldve been a great opportunity for this kind of stuff like, I remember lurking in the fandom around this time, this was the point where plenty of people were starting to sympathize simply because of how inhumane the prison was. Like, if they werent gonna show him break a little in front of others for their perspectives, the least they couldve done was make like, a few short videos of Dream being alone, doing whatever, you wouldnt even need dialogue and then pepper those throughout the post-prison arcs. You could have one like two or three minute video right after Tommys visit where he maybe tries writing those stupid essays out of boredom before burning them and then some potatoes plop into the pool and you really get a sense for the emptyness and isolation of it. Another good one would be one showing how Quackity tortures him, or maybe one taking place right after one of the torture seassions with him starving and shaking and maybe trying to write a log or something but failing because everything hurts. Him being in the prison after hes escaped and made it his base again, watching it slowly decay and fall apart with him in it. They really dont have to be long, again, two or three minute videos wouldve done a lot of good here imo. And then you could also sprinkle in some monologues because as much as I like to make fun of the snake monologue in my head, it did give some much needed insight into Dreams perspective on all of this while making him a bit more sympathetic.

*

Honestly, Dream is making some pretty reasonable points here (if you completely disregard all the context of the entire dsmp but still) but like dude, you cannot go around calling your teenage nemesis a pest that such obvious villain behaviour dude

*

Im not gonna lie, i thought the very last final scene between Dream and Tommy would take place in a more, idk, intimate? place. Thats not the right word but whatever I cant think of anything else that fits. But like, they absolutely do not have a reason to leave so I guess this is just gonna continue with Tommy and Dream talking in this fucked up room of this fucked up prison while Punz is also right there

*

Okay, I just got to the bit where Tommy says 'Im sorry' to Dream and I know a lot of people were upset by that bc they took it as him apologizing to his abusers for being 'abuse-worthy' if you wanna phrase it like that and thats not what I got from that at all. Like, its technically part of a very earnest emotional statement so his tone was kinda soft and apologetic but it really came across as an 'Im sorry you feel that way' kind of apology to me

*

BRUH HE JUST KILLED HIM??? WHAT

*

What the fuck is happening now

*

Is this hell.

*

NO ITS THE EARLY DREAM TEAM STREAMS THIS TRULY IS HELL

*

Oh my god please tell me this wont go on for much longer I already watched like 30 hours of these boring ass guys dicking around back in late 2020 i cannot take a second more

*

Bro why did they pick the part of the stream thats just Dream trying to figure out his fucking minecraft settings for this this isnt doing anything

*

Please bring me back I dont wanna watch this boring shit

*

What is ahppening

*

Okay they revived him, are they gonna explain why his afterlife hell is just him watching the most boring minecraft streams on planet earth

*

"It doesnt matter if I get horrifically traumatized because I'll just live forever :)"

*

Okay I think Im starting to understand Dreams motivations here a bit more and they make more sense but its like, if you care so much about eliminating suffering why did you go out of your way to torment Tommy like that in exile. Like, i know its because you did want him to be your friend at some point and maybe you still do but you didnt like how he would never listen to you so you figured itd be better to just break him down mentally but like, I dont think that would be necessary for the long term goal of eliminating all death and suffering at all so, what

*

Dude, he was not happy he was adjusting his minecraft settings

*

What if he just started sobbed. Hes all smug like "well, im happy now :)" and then the dam jist breaks. wouldnt that be grand

*

Hes fucking psychoanalyzing the green bitch this rules

*

Im sorry man I was not envisioning this emotional final scene to be accompanied by Punz occasionally saying some bullshit in the background

*

"George and Sapnap are still here" uh no, George literally isnt and last time we saw Sapnap he was making a deal with God to sacrifice his own life and afterlife to ensure that Dream would die and stay dead forever

*

Oughhhhhhh this is great I can practically smell the insecurity coming off of him rn

*

Oh god why is Tommy being like "you just wanted things to be simple [like they were in the past]" giving me a more complete understanding of myself as well this sucks I dont wanna be a c!Dream kinnie anymore >:(

*

I dont think Tommy is wrong about what hes saying abt Dream at all here and I think this is a smart angle to focus on for making Dream seem more sympathetic but right now I definitely feel like its missing the crucial element of "yes, Dream just wants friends, friends who will do what he wants with minimal resistance because hes a control freak" yknow? Like, his need for absolute control all the time is one of his most prominent traits and him wanting to gain some understanding and control of death and other things beyond his comprehension actually lines up quite nicely with that, its just kinda getting muddled with Dreams statements about wanting to make everything better. Granted, he probably wouldnt want to admit that his version of "making everything better" is just making everyone listen to him bc hes god basically but still, I think his control freakiness needs to get addressed more explicitly and maybe it will be, weve still hot a few minutes but ehhhhh. I doubt it

*

Honestly, ive grown to like Punz quite a bit eventhough he really hasnt done much but like, why the fuck is he here

*

I realize that the dialogue in dsmp is always overwhelmingly improv but its just so odd and kinda bad in this conversation. I think its because out of context, the way both Dream and Tommy are phrasing things makes it seem like they were on more equal footing and both suffered equally during their conflict when thats just not the case and Im not a fan

*

I think Ill tentatively take back all the stuff I said about how Dream shouldve been a worshipper of XD but i still think its a neat concept so I'll probably do something with that later

*

Oh god why did they do that crown, Dreams skin already looks bad and silly enough. Oh well I take solace in knowing that all the fanart of this scene probably slaps

*

OH I FORGOR ABOUT THE NUKES

*

Punz is still there is he gonna say anything about the nuke thats about to hit

*

Lookat these guys, never heard a nuke about to hit before

*

Ohhhhhhh I thought that previous 'sorry' was the one Ive seen people upset about, but Im pretty sure its actually this one

Honestly, I still dont see why you would be upset about it outside of the fact that it is an abuse victim apologizing to his abuser but its like, idk man. I dont think a piece of media featuring a scene where that happens within a very specific context is doing abuse apologism, although I guess a lot of people would argue that the fact that Tommy is even reaching out to Dream after everything he did is abuse apologism and. Im not even gonna try to argue with them. I'll just say that I disagree and try to explain my perspective in some amount of detail, this will get pretty personal though, so watch out:

I was recently semi-diagnosed with a personality disorder and i probably have a bunch of other bullshit going on as well and not to armchair diagnose a fictional character but c!Dream definitely has that personality disorder and whatever other shit thats hiding inside my weird brain. His irrational, defensive thought processes, his contradictionary wants, his persistent need for control, his detached nature, his manipulation, the way he uses actual emotional pain as a tool for manipulation while keeping that pain at an arms length, even his weird monotone way of speaking, I relate to all of it. I have seen and related to a lot of mentally ill and neurodivergent and neurodivergent-coded characters and I have never felt as seen as now. He embodies my worst qualities turned up a few notches to make them even worse and then he has a weird god complex on top of all of that and yet, he still ends up being given sympathy, someone tries to understand him and offers him help. And idk, that just means a lot to me so I look at this whole thing a bit differently.

Also, while I get why some people are upset and I get peoples desire to critize this from a Doylist perspective because real people came up with this story in real life and that still has implications, even when the line between fiction and reality is thick enough to be considered a wall, from a Watsonian in-universe perspective its like, Dream is not a bad person for accepting help (or trying to accept help) when its being freely offered to him

*

Okay wait but if the nuke still hit the prison and blew everything to shit what the hell did Jack do when he rewired the redstone at the launch thingy. Is the prison that close to the main smp I dont remember

*

Oh man this is gonna take a hot second huh

*

Okay we're back in Minecraft, Tommys punching a tree

*

I hate the fact that Tommy doesnt atleast punch the entire tree down before making a crafting table

*

OKAY IT IS DONE

I was gonna finish the whole series today but its almost 11pm and I a sleepy gal so i'll watch Tubbos pov tomorrow and the Syndicate vod and all that and also I'll probably give my thoughts on the ending in more detail after that. Right now I dont think I cant bare to write any more man, I just wrote like three or four decently detailed (for me) analyses about fucking bullshit basically in a row, my head literally hurts

So yeah, goodnight I'll be hopefully posting all of these posts tomorrow and I'll hopefully be peoperly liveblogging everything again

[bonelessmegablock]

I’m noticing I’m really really emotionally unstable lately. This is actually a good thing, i think. It’s probably partially hormones now that I think about it… but like i was suppressing so much shit for so long that it’s kind of welling up again and again and again.

It’s kinda really really daunting tho. Like ive finally climbed far enough out of the Depression Pit that i can see the pinprick of light at the top while im sitting on this little ledge of Successfully Transitioning, and good god i still have so much left to sift through.

At least i feel the goods as intensely as the bads now. At least i can see when people are being lovely to me. At least i can be lovely to people.

I was working today and honestly having a great time, the people at the old people condos i work at are so sweet and you can get some reasonably fun small talk out of them. I even managed to ask someone when they would be finished doing something (so i could try to clean after and stay out of their way) instead of just awkwardly wondering and worrying if i should!!

Then there was this delivery guy who came by and gave me a big ol mean mug, and i didnt quite know how to deal with it. I think he thought i was male (hadnt shaved, self care’s been eeeehhh lately), and i stared a bit too long for male-male eye contact. But then he came back to a door i was cleaning near with a big package and i opened it for him and he like, really profusely thanked me.

And idk cuz like clearly he misread me and functionally apologized to me and it felt like he was treating me like a woman that time? Idk. It was weird and it sent me into a spiral because i got no sleep and can barely regulate my emotions at all rn. It was a weirdly healthier spiral tho? Mostly because i took it out on my fan for waking me up with a beeping noise by ripping the beeper out of the electric board (and sealing it up properly which im really proud of!!). Then it was bad again because there was traffic on my street again. It usually happens when there’s an accident on the highway but traffic was clear there and idk why all these morons were there. It didnt even matter cuz i wanted to get to work later because the camp going on there ends later but i still got mad. Then people at work were really nice to me and i was happy again

[chvnnie]

Idk where this falls under but like, domestic life with Han Jisung sounds so good to me rn, specifically with this scenario:

You arrive home (from work, grocery shopping, buying stuff, etc) and what you don't expect is for Jisung to be sitting on the couch watching TV completely shirtless with Bbama sleeping on top of him. (oh to sleep on jisungs tiddies—)

The sight instantly makes you melt and you just smother the two with welcome kisses and cuddles

(depends on if the couple keeps it pg or moves things to the bedroom 👀👀)

listen. LISTEN. domestic jisung is honestly all i think about. you’re speaking my language with this request, anon.

Friday

han jisung x gn reader

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff, suggestive content - MINORS DNI

warnings: absolute fluff, reader has no pronouns, mentions of painkillers (given in a medical setting), mentions of restraints, suggestive content, like a sentence of dirty talk at the end, not proofread bc i thrive in chaos

summary: jisung is the best remedy for a bad day.

a/n: the way i said i wasn’t going to post another drabble yet and here i am, doing just that. thank you for all the requests! if i haven’t answered yours yet, please be patient! i promise i saw it, and i promise i’ll write it :) also, thank you so much for everyone who has sent things in! the way you’ve all supported me and my content means the world to me. i hope you enjoy!

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents han jisung as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

Today might have been the worst day of your college career.

It was your busy day, which meant you were in class from 8:00-12:00, getting a short hour break before you were back in class from 2:00-5:00. To make the day busier, your advisor asked to meet you during your break today, which meant you didn’t have time to relax.

The morning classes were awful and long, one throwing in a surprise test (the professor clarified it was not a quiz, but a test and that there’s no way you shouldn’t be prepared for it) and another assigning a fourteen page paper due by the end of next week. The meeting with your advisor was less than ideal, and you left it on edge and late for your first afternoon class. All the afternoon classes were nothing to write home about, but after the morning you had, everything annoyed you.

All you wanted to do was go home, order pizza, and watch movies with Jisung. That’s it. You didn’t feel like you were asking much.

You didn’t come into the apartment quietly. Hands full of books, your laptop, and your travel mug, you kicked the door shut with a slam and slipped out of your shoes, the converse bouncing off the wall. A book slipped out of your hand and the thud it made definitely would get you a noise complaint. What-fucking-ever. Just another bad thing to add to a god awful day.

“Ji, I’m home.” You called out, fumbling around until you reached the small kitchen table. Dropping your books and laptop on it, you slid the heavy backpack off your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Walking to the sink, you didn’t notice the lack of greeting until your cup was rinsed and there wasn’t a 5’7” man tackling you against the counter. You pulled out your phone to see if he said anything about not being here when you got home, but your text inbox was empty. He didn’t have class on Friday, and typically stayed in all day if he didn’t have anywhere to be.

Strange. This wasn’t like him at all.

You walked to the bedroom, but were only greeted with an unmade bed and an empty computer chair. There was evidence Jisung was here recently; the empty soda can next to at least five empty water bottles on the desk, a half eaten bag of chips, one of Bbama’s hundred chew toys at the foot of the chair, and most importantly, the home screen of a game still pulled up.

Odd.

You went back to the front door. His shoes were still there, his car keys thrown on the small table by the door used primarily to pile mail on, his bike leaning against the opposite wall. He should be here.

But he wasn’t in the bedroom, his usual Friday haunt.

He didn’t greet you immediately.

Where could he be?

You walked into the living room, and kicked yourself for not checking it first.

When the two of you moved in together, you agreed to buy a new couch. Deciding to spend a little extra on a nicer couch, you picked a grey sectional. The cushions were incredibly soft, it was easy to clean, and most importantly - it was large and deep. You could sit in the middle of the cushion and your feet still wouldn’t touch the ground. It’s very common for you to climb onto the couch, intending to watch tv, and falling asleep before the first episode is even over. It’s your favorite piece of furniture you own. It’s also something you and Jisung fight over the most.

The corner of the sectional where both ends meet is your favorite spot. And Jisung’s. And Bbama’s. So when all three of you are on the couch, it is a full blown battle to see who gets the coziest spot. Jisung is relentless when it comes to that corner; he has not hesitated to push you off the couch before and he’d do it in a heartbeat. You would be mad if you didn’t match that aggression, often literally kicking him out of the spot to have it to yourself. One time you even sprained your wrist as you dove over the back of the couch to get there first.

“You did that on purpose to get first dibs on the corner.” Jisung said to you in the emergency room that night. “Don’t think I don’t see through this.”

You just smirked, painkillers going straight to your head. “So does that mean I get it when we get home?”

He gave it to you that night.

The next day, he was back to throwing hands and wrestling you to the ground for it (carefully, because he didn’t want to hurt your wrist more).

So it wasn’t surprising to see Jisung curled up in that corner, legs spread out onto the chaise. The windows were opened, the spring breeze drafting in and making the room feel more fresh and cool. He sat slightly slouched, head barely visible over the edge of the couch. You walked over to him, ready to jump and claim the corner for yourself when you melted into a puddle.

Jisung was shirtless, clothed only in short, black cotton shorts. The backwards cap on his head told you he opted not to do his hair today, brown ends curling underneath it. His head was tilted slightly to the left, eyes focused on the show playing on the television a few feet away. Bbama laid on his chest, the white ball of fluff letting wheezy dog snores fill the room. Jisung had his airpods in - he sometimes liked to connect them to the tv when he was home alone so as not to disturb Bbama or your noise sensitive neighbors. His fingers stroked up and down the dog’s back as if he was comforting the animal. The two of them looked incredibly cozy, and never in your life have you seen something so incredibly precious.

A part of you didn’t want to ruin the moment. The other part was left a bit left out.

In the end, the latter won.

You circled around the couch, Jisung catching your movement in his peripherals. Before he could even remove a headphone, you were on top of him, hands cupping his face as you smothered him with kisses. Anywhere your lips met skin, you kissed; in between his eyebrows, the tip of his nose, his squishy cheeks. Jisung giggled underneath you and made a piss poor attempt to wiggle away from the kisses.

“Baby.” He whined between the laughs. “Let me up.”

“No.” You continued the assault, kisses drifting to his ears and neck. Any skin that was exposed, you would cover with kisses. It was what you deserved after the day you had, and what Jisung deserved for looking so damn cute in his little shorts and baseball cap.

Bbama, who was just now waking up, squirmed out from between you and Jisung, directing a small bark at the two of you.

“Aw, you jealous? Want some kisses too?” You let go of Jisung, leaning off of him to try and grab the dog. Bbama moved before you could grab him and ran off, effectively escaping the kiss attack you had launched on the two of them.

With you distracted, Jisung took the opportunity to tackle you. He pushed you onto the couch, hands pinning your wrists down as he began his counterattack, returning all the kisses you gave him. You squirmed, laughs filling the apartment as his lips tickled your skin.

“Let me go.” You laughed, trying to lift your arms up.

“No. Mine.” Jisung said, kisses not halting even for a second. Just as you were, Jisung was determined to kiss any part of skin he could find. The weather was nice today, so you chose to wear a tank top, leaving your collarbones free game.

When his lips brushed against them, you unconsciously arched your back, a whine slipping through your laughter. Jisung didn’t mean to get that reaction from you - in fact, he forgot your collarbones were one of your weak spots until he kissed them. But he wasn’t mad about it either.

Jisung rested his chin on your chest, looking up at you. “How was your day?”

He watched your smile turn into a small frown, and he hated himself for ruining the moment. “Not great.”

“I’m sorry.” His thumbs stroked the wrists he was still pinning down, unwilling to let them go just yet. “Anything I can do?”

You shrugged. “Just wanna spend time with you.”

He felt his face flush. Two years together, and you still weren’t sick of him. You still came home everyday wanting to be around him, still texted him throughout the day when he wasn’t around, still got excited to see him. He was happy he wasn’t the only one who still got butterflies. When he first sees you in the morning, eyes partially open and breath stale from sleep, the butterflies reignite and take over, not stopping for a beat until he falls asleep next to you at night. The next morning, they wake again, beating faster than the day before.

And you felt that way. About him. He still couldn’t fathom it, the idea still unbelievable to him. But everyday, he counted every lucky star he had and thanked them for you.

It was a blessing to be loved by you.

“I’m always happy to spend time with you, my love. Anything you want me to do?” He asked.

“You could let my arms go.” You pushed against his hand for emphasis.

“No way. You’ll tickle me if I do.”

The hint of mischief in your eyes confirmed that you would in fact tickle him the moment your hands were free.

“Besides-” he brought his head back up, leaning into you. His lips brushed slightly against yours, close enough to kiss you but refusing to close the gap. “-I like when you’re restrained for me.”

You smirked up at your boyfriend, hips raising to brush against his. “Yeah? Then what are you waiting for?”

The chuckle that he released filled you with both fear and excitement for what was to come.

Jisung adjusted your arms, grabbing both wrists with one of his hands. The other traveled down your body before it landed on the waistline of your shorts, pushing them off along with your underwear.

“Spread your legs, baby. You’re not going to stop cumming until I’m sick of it.”

©: chvnnie 2022

[hornime]

home workout | bokuto koutarou x gn!reader

“i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

warnings: 18+, sub!bokuto, jealous!reader (i mean who wouldn’t be when bokuto, your goddamn boyfriend, is perceived by other people the fuck), also lowkey possessive!reader, lotsa licking and sucking, nipple play, some praise (from reader) and some begging, brief mention of dacryphilia, kinda soft at the end

w/c: 1.5k sheesh

a/n: bokuto brainrot has me in literal tears. him being completely clueless to people flirting w him cus he doesn’t recognize romance from anyone but you has me so soft. i luv this man w my whole heart !!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE BAKUGO FIC I JUST ABOUT SHIT MY PANTS WOOWWOWO

you weren’t an idiot. you knew that your boyfriend was attractive in literally every aspect of the word. he was sweet, patient, and kind, and what he lacked in academic smarts was made up tenfold in his emotional maturity and ability to read people. big and beefy, bokuto was all yours and all you wanted to stay trapped within his arms forever. unfortunately, to maintain the figure you adored so much and stay in shape for the volleyball season, he had to leave the four walls of your shared bedroom far more than you liked, having a daily obligation to spend a few hours at the gym.

once again, you weren’t an idiot. the few times that your work schedule and his training schedule aligned, you’d been able to work out together. and despite your knowledge of just how good-looking bokuto was and the fact that other people could perceive him (much to your chagrin) you were shocked at just how much people shamelessly flirted with him. 

cute girls with matching leggings and sports bras practically clung to his biceps, gushing about how strong he was and how he could probably pick them up with just one hand. their incessant giggling, mesmerizing hair twirling, and teasing touches pissed you off to no end, and you’d tug your boyfriend away before their breasts got too close to him for your liking.

something else you noticed was that, no matter how blatantly obvious the girls seemed to be, the guys were somehow worse, flirting through terms you couldn’t even understand. they compared deadlift weights, bicep curls, hip thrusts; you gritted your teeth thinking about whether they’d ever compared cock sizes in the locker room—you wouldn’t put it past those thirsty gym rats. sneaky bastards.

and bokuto, of course, was oblivious to it all. how could you blame him—he was so used to being adored! you knew that, to him, all of their praises paled in comparison to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. he was all yours—should be all yours—and you hated sharing him with the world.

you woke up saturday morning with a ringing in your ears, hand smacking the nightstand trying to turn off that god-awful alarm noise, bleary eyes barely able to focus on the text notification from your boyfriend.

[5:33 AM] kou: gm babe!!!! i didnt wanna wake u up cus u looked so peaceful! im heading to the gym rn. text me when ur up! love uu

[5:34 AM] kou: should be home around 9!! gym bud wants to show me something so i might be a little late for breakfast.

just to reiterate, you weren’t an idiot. for all the annoying flirting you noticed when you were with bokuto, there was no doubt in your mind that there must be a lot more when he was at the gym alone, which, unluckily for you, was most of the time since he was a freakin’ pro athlete and all.

you couldn’t prevent the pool of envy from swirling in your gut. gym bud? are you serious? who could that be? the girl with the arm tat or the dude with the dreads? no, maybe its that yoga instructor with the ass—

you shook your head, clearing your brain. you’d be here for hours if you went through everyone at that stupid gym that had ever shown interest in bokuto. the clock read 9:53 AM and the green flame in your body only burned brighter. just as you were about to call him and ask where he was, the front door slammed open.

“babe! i’m home!”

you silently put your phone down, teeth still clenching in jealousy. for some reason, hearing his voice only exacerbated the tension in your shoulders. you needed him. now.

“babe?” his voice creeped closer as he tread through the hallway towards the room. “you up?”

you peeked your head out of the doorframe, cheery voice masking your devilish intentions, “kou!"

his eyes brightened as he made eye contact with you and flashed his trademark smile. “hey! what’s u-” he took in the mischievous glint in your eyes “-p?”

you grabbed his burly forearm, yanking him behind you and walking towards him, forcing him to stumble and fall back on the bed. “wait! i’m all gross and sweaty,” he said, “gym showers were broke-”

“i don’t care. take off your shirt.”

“wow, someone’s eager. missed me that much?”

“watch it,” you glared. “i’m not in the mood, kou.”

he gulped at the dominance radiating from your voice, scrambling to take off the t-shirt that stretched between his pecs perfectly. with the fabric off and throw haphazardly to the side, he looked to you expectantly, the epitome of innocence.

your eyes wandered over his sculpted chest, the remnants of a soft sheen of sweat from his workout making it shine in the sunlight pouring through the blinds. your heart stuttered in your chest—he looked like an angel. coupled with the way with his bottom lip was tucked under his front teeth and the wide, anticipating look in his eyes, fuck. you almost smiled how blessed you felt in that moment, to see him in such a raw, alluring position, before a jarring thought caused your lips to twitch back into a frown.

everyone else can see him, too.

your eyes hardened. maybe they can see him all big and strong, you thought, but they’ll never get to see him like this: submissive.

and so fucking sensitive.

within an instant, your lips were latched on the soft spot above his collarbone, causing him to whimper in pleasure. you continued to travel along his throat, slowly working your way to the other side of his neck and crossing back to nibble at his adam’s apple.

you unexpectedly pulled away, drawing a short whine from him, before repositioning yourself so that you were straddling his outstretched legs. slowly, starting from the hem of his shorts, you dragged your tongue between the ridges of his abs, moving up towards his pecs, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and feeling the muscles tense underneath.

“fuck,” he groaned. as your lips puckered around one of his peaked nipples, he uncontrollably jerked his hips up, inadvertently rubbing his sensitive cock between your legs. overwhelmed by the sensation, he moaned. “fuck.”

“you taste good,” you muttered, grazing your teeth over his other nipple. “just wanna taste you all the time. you’d let me, right?”

thoughts muddled by just how good everything felt, he nodded mindlessly. “i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

you paused. raising your head from his chest, you made eye contact with him, so intense he almost closed his eyes to shield himself from the blaze burning in your dilated pupils. “why’d you stop,” he begged, “i want more. feels so good and i wan’ mor-”

“say it again,” you demanded. “tell me that you’re mine.”

his eyes, glossed over and prickled with tears precariously close to falling, squeezed tightly as he spoke, unable to control the growing volume of his voice. “’m all yours. always. all yo- yours.” he gasped as you resumed your movements, pinching the sensitive skin around his v-line while fervently leaving sloppy kisses on his chest. 

“good boy.”

he keened at your praise. another light touch to his cock combined with the passage of your mouth had him trembling, and his breath hitched as he cried out in warning, tears now flowing freely over his flushed cheeks. “m’ gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”

“yeah?” you whispered, lips brushing against his strained abs. “go ahead then.”

“fuck!” he whined, blabbering as you sat back and watched in awe of the beauty before you, a big strong man like him reduced to nothing more than a moaning mess. “fuck, fuck—you always make me feel so, s-so go-od, fuck i love you.”

with soaked shorts and an exhausted sigh, he dropped his head back onto the plush comforter of the bed. you flattened your palms on his quivering body, reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. he panted, running his fingers through your hair before nudging your face to look at him, staring at you with an expression of pure bliss and adoration. he studied you for a bit before declaring with a soft smile, “you’re the best. so fuckin’ happy that i’m yours.”

driven by affection, he sat up and reached his arms around your waist, snuggling his chin over your shoulder and mashing your chests, yours clothed and his naked, together. “kou wait!” you shrieked. “you’re all sweaty again! it’s gross!”

he chuckled. as if you hadn’t been spoiling him by licking it up just a few minutes ago. “you’re right. i‘m probably sweating more now than i was after my workout.”

at that, your ears perked up. “well maybe you should do home workouts more often then,” you teased.

“you’re right,” he repeated with a grin, “maybe i should.” if it meant more mornings like these, he’d forego the gym in a heartbeat. 

that night, he canceled his gym membership. after all, he reasoned, it’s offseason anyway.

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