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queenofallwitches · 2 years ago

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THE REALITY OF WALKING THE HIGH PRIESTESS PATH: MADNESS & MYSTICISM

when reality is truly stranger than fiction

26/12/2022:

As of now, I've been off all MIND ALTERING medications since march 2022 (its December 2022 and I just discharged from 3-4 weeks in a mental health clinic so I AM NOT CRAZY OR PSYCHOTIC AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS.

I am evaluated as being, sane, although traumatised with complex ptsd and chronic dissociation and emotional trauma, but lucid with reality. JUST TO CLARIFY. I am sober and free from all mind-altering medications outside of clonidine and agomelatin (one is a blood pressure med with adhd helping properties and the other regulates sleep cycles and may also help depression but its basically like melatonin)and that’s the mildest thing ever so I have never been so chemically free, everyone can go and die. I'm lucid. I'm angry. I'm real. I'm taling.

From July or august I was waiting to get into <redacted>

In september they told us, he is no longer treating adult patients, and instead I would be seeing a "dr or a dr<redacted>"??

FLIP THE NAME OF THIS DR IN STRANGER THINGS TO REVEAL A REAL PSYCHIATRIST WHO ATTEMPTED TO RUIN MY LIFE THROUGH HIS BLACK LODGE CONNECTIONS, like I said, you cannot make this up.

As per above the name is synonymous with a dr on the netflix series "Stranger Things' who worked at Hawkins energy lab in the 'Rainbow Room' with eleven. (the rainbow room was a trauma memory I had return post-EMDR in 2016 that led to a real-life local rainbow room near a childhood area I spent time in during childhood

I found this rainbow room BEFORE STRANGER THINGS CAME TO BE (2017)

the wiki for stranger things doesn't mention it until 2021

SO IMAGINE WHEN IT CAME OUT AFTER I FOUND THE RAINBOW ROOM IN REAL LIFE A FEW MONTHS LATER, I swear it was in the first season. so I was watching it FREAKING OUT SEEING THE REALITY OF WHERE A FLASHBACK LED ME (I CHASED MY MEMORIES INTO REAL-LIFE RABBIT HOLES)

what I found was really unpleasant so I digress I only watched the show because my ex was with me when I found the rainbow room in reality, told me there was a rainbow room in stranger things and because I was so needing validation for my crazy memories coming back, I went full steam ahead watching it to see if there was any mention. there was but not until seasons later.

I will no longer name where or what due to the liability of being under attack for speaking the ABSOLUTE facts. But I can give ALLUSIONS.

The rainbow room in my life where I followed my trauma memories by driving to where my memory drove me, led to this place being uncovered. it was not the worst thing I discovered, so that can give reference to how horrific that time period of memory integration was for me.

Filmed on a gopro in 2017 after a therapy exercise gone wrong. the rainbow room in Stranger Things was revealed after my discovery of the rainbow room in my personal life.

Saved on a hard drive with a myriad of other evidence

It could always be the meaningless coincidence, as they taught us in research methodology "correlation does not always equal causation".

Synopsis: The psychiatrist had the reversed name of doctor from a show based on MK-ULTRA subprojects in 80s and both pre and post the scope of that show.

<redacted> real life appointed psychiatrist was also involved in legal and forensic psychiatry.

A specific field that usually tends to work with legal, criminal psychiatry with what I am making an intuitive guess is a similar leaning to how criminology leans into forensic psychology.

So one could posit, a forensic psychiatrist, being a medical doctor, deals with criminal clients or clients with extensive legal/court/forensic matters. A family court case of custody of children comes to mind, but also, habitual criminals who also have mental health issues are probably within the scope of his client base.

He may also be trained to treat professionals within the legal system such as judges, magistrates, lawyers, solicitors, case workers, social workers, correction officers, court administrative staff, and other professions that come in the scope of justice NSW.

As I started off, I am merely speculating what a forensic psychiatrist who is working in the position of medical director of a private mental health hospital, may have a background in aside from general adult psychiatry.

I recall a friend having to go through court for this xanax induced crime in 2011, having a forensic psychiatrist write an analysis of his perception of what was "wrong" with my friend. I am sure, this is a common task they are assigned to do in that specialisation.

So what does this have to do with me, a woman who has a minor criminal record ending in 2011 with a small offence of possession of substances that are all now legal in 2011..

My criminal history is otherwise: shoplifting age 15, shoplifting with no goods with a friend age 17, shoplifting a 73 cent pack of tic tacs and being charged and humilated by police at<redacted> car park in april 2011, which later was thrown out of the courtroom on the morning of the case. i am open because I am not ashamed of things I did as a teenager in an alter consciousness. The drugs were not mine and the blades were used to cut myself. I had stitches in my wrist at the time for self harm, and what the police did by having me in handcuffs for 2 hours goes against protocol and is probably illegal.

I have only ever had to report 1 sexual assault and had 1 AVO both being convinced going to police to report this was the right thing to do, as a victim and survivor

I had my parents call the police on me but due to my mental health I would never be charged or arrested only sent to the local psychiatric unit at the public hospital, which is normal for mental health cases I think.

So why did the forensic psych want me as his client, given my absence of all criminal, civil, legal and forensic issues.

I can theorise, and my theories again, could be upsetting if correct but also sound mentally deranged given my status.

again, we are in the realm of speculation, which is fine to entertain ideas without accepting them as absolutes.

this is merely a contemplative exercise to reflect on the chaos that has been the previous 2 years when I have been in a social dynamic that is "online" and how it somehow managed to link back to the childhood pedophile network of my origin despite me going internationally to elude this.

this is why speculation and being OBJECTIVE can be valuable.

I will now allude to my practice of spirituality

I will allude to events of 2021, focusing in on APRIL-JUNE EVENTS. NO NOT THE SECOND LOCKDOWN.

I will allude to the unveiling of particular links between paedophilia, which is a horrible and unnatural genetic disease and defect, and pseudo faux occult groups who use the symbols of other occultists to promote the agenda to push pedophilia into mainstream "LGBTIQ" movements.

We know, for those with eyes to see, souls to perceive and a past that has burnt truths deep into the brain and body although consciously, it's hard to piece a linear memory of that time of ritual abuse together, but it happened.

So a lot of legal people work in positions of power in the industry of law, especially in the state where it allows civil law to set precedent for all other states.

Case law allows one person to sue another person and is all about hearsay, I know or care nothing due to how banal it is.

But basic legal studies taught me that once it is set in precedent,all cases similar are given a context to outcome across both criminal and civil jurisdictions, on all levels of court.

In the case of my recent unveiling, my sequence of dreams of a cloaked group of psychiatrists hiding in a lecture hall doing a ritual I was NOT supposed to see, and being shocked I could see it, my theories are only that. No facts, just ideas.

You can see where I am going with this.

I APOLOGISE THAT I HAVE TO BE CRYPTIC, but I will reveal more as time passes and I can absolutely reveal things with momentum

I am still in the process of integrating the lost time from the dissociative period of 2021, after all the shit I went through prior, I had not lost actual time or space until December 2021 since roughly December 2008. that SPEAKS FUCKING VOLUMES.

Do you think this allegedly pervasive inner upper echelon group of occult practitioners wanted me to find out about, hell no. its secret; but due to the imposter to redacted>, liar, fake and fraud, calling herself <redacted>and paying a<redacted><redacted> to do spells for her, we started to understand a link between her and a political secret occult order based from AU POLITICAL CAPITAL.

i am familiar with signs, symbol, sigil, ciphers and grimoire codex messages that activate my amygdala and primal parts of my brain, in a way that signals programming from earlier in my life when things were "against my own volition".

i know when the memories are triggered because looking at other things in photos or things with context that is proven now activated the same fear/adrenaline/adrenochrome charge of cortisol flooding my sympathetic nervous system, that rush of pure fucking fight or flight or freeze or faun that comes in its more severe, a structural dissocative state that creates fragmented parts of the psyche to survive the unsurviable, which was essentially the first 11 or so years of my life on earth. if not more maybe 15 ish, I was here and there, in and out as I was older, some memories I've never lost, so I've always had a co-conscious aspect which is my complex trauma vs dissociative identity disorder sliding spectrum. dissociation is a sliding scale, it was severe, and then it became less so until I lost time again in may 2021, when I was pushed out for magickal trauma being inflicted by an event I will detail in due time.

i do however have many parts which I've been working hard to integrate since 2017, in mass retrival mode.

Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be found, perhaps I do not care to whistle blow, but given she was affiliated and could be still a double agent, to stop further discovery of this, the best thing to do was take away my executive function.

Knowing they are linked to a lot of legal careers, it would not be outside the realm of possibility, they have extended contacts in psychiatry , what business would a FORENSIC PSYCHIATRIST HAVE BEING IN CHARGE OF A PRIVATE LUX MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC?

PEDOPHILE VIP PROTECTION IN CLIENTS KNOWN AS PEDOPHILES BOTH OFFENDERS AND CONVICTED, AND NON OFFENDERS, AS IT PROMOTES INCLUSIVITY

GATEKEEPING THE VICTIMS

SUBTLY EMPOWERING THE PEDOPHILE OFFENDERS/CHILD ATTRACTED PATIENTS, TO PROMOTE HOW 'THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE WITH BAD URGES'.

WE KNOW THEY DON’T GET LONG IN PRISON, WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM? IF THEY ARE RICH OF COURSE THEY GET TREATMENT, AND I HAVE MET 6 IN MY TIME OF THE <redacted>

redacted THE FAKE LESBIAN, A BIPOLAR CLIENT, ENDED UP ADMITTING TO BEING ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN.

Her mom worked at a school she did too sometimes, leading me to cover the education department, media, and all realms of influential upper-middle class - upper class social areas around that clinic that may be full of offenders who cannot be in prison, and need a place to be in a double bind experiment to prove to the society "pedos can be reformed".

I do not agree, will never accept or tolerate this notion

Buy my theory is only based on things outside the scope of what and why a person is talking to a psychiatrist. ?

You see, I know more than most patients.

Not that im so smart or wise, infact, I downplay my intelligence with neurological deficits such as ADHD comorbid with cptsd which was revolving s lot from being A VICTIM of the same pedophiles these treatment centres protect.

Nobody will ever admit that to me, nor would I say anything because I know that is a recipe for disaster.

What would come between him accepting me, my dreams and my 10 year treating psychiatrist unexpectedly discarding me?

A doctor who knows how to use legal and medical terminologhy to manipulate, persuade, threaten, convince and use the power of "PSYCH DOC" vs "MENTAL ILL PATIENT"

To sow seeds of discord, distrust and dislike in redacted and likely built a dossier, because of my behaviour last year due to the mask issue, about being all things that are not true, and playing on what doubts she may have of me.

The thing is, he already knew what would happen because this was set up before I had even been told I had to see her for a referral.

Setting me up, for failure, further pain, trauma, rejection, and other things.

The medication no longer matters because I am not going to be controlled by this hidden hand, the issue is, the enemy is operating in ways, I cannot see, and if I cant see it, why do I mind? Sending me into medication paranoia would serve a purpose far more beneficial than me not knowing what they are doing at all. Ignorance is bliss.

I have a feeling dr SO> has told her this, and she has developed this idea from his "expert" forensic analysis based on my case files.

I have a feeling, and am writing this to log it, so in future, I can see what happened, how it may have been caused and what can be done moving on?

I went to the <redacted>, the next day REDACTED> MY abusive ex turns up. I don’t care if this is accidental, he wouldn’t even know, but my roommate has a high connected job and tells me yes. he did have a court case in Downing Center recently.

He was there and was kicked out the morning I decided to leave to ente REDACTED after the CEO OF TREDACTEDD WENT TO OF <REDACTED>TO SECURE MY ADMISSION

THE ADMIN GIRL TOLD ME REDACTED WAS KICKED OUT OVER ME, all REDACTEF>staff confirmed to me when I reentered on the 8th THIS WAS A LIE

AND WHY WOULD SHE EVEN KNOW?

imagine if your ex who molested and raped you 100sof times turned up to a place you were supposed to get rehabiliated?

let alone at the same time of year a decade later from the place that 'saved' you from him first, now they push him at you showing you how fucking messed up life is, because you are no longer safe and the therapist who you showed your vulnerability too, knows your secrets and will stop at nothing to ULTIMATELY DESTROY YOU KICKING YOU WHEN YOU ARE DOWN.

if by accident, then the universe is fucking ironic in a nasty way

At this point, something strange is happening because despite the ceo and my psychiatrist at the REDACTEDreferal. REDACTEDREJECTED my admission, never happened to me before.

I had to then return to the <REDACTED>, completed 15 days, which is basically 25 days all up, counting the first attempt where my x shows up

I did the program, finished up before Christmas, and returned home, but nothing has really changed. They changed my medications to:

Melatonin 4 mg

Clonidine 2mg at night

SO ALLEGEDLY FOR ADHD BUT ONLY USEFUL FOR CONJUNCT USE WITH A STIMULANT

VALDOXAN, yet refused to get my liver enzyme test when I requested it despite it causing me elevated enzymes in 2013

30 mg diazapam a day

20 mg of temazapam at night

1 ferrograd c in the morning

So he offered me A WAKEFULNESS DRUG FOR NARCOLEPSY CALLED:

modafinil, I said ok,BUT IT WAS $250 FOR 28 DAYS TABLETS, AND NOT EVEN PROVEN TO HELP ADHD LET ALONE CHEMICALLY SIMILAR TO ANYTHING PROVEN.

then he refused to give new meds unless it was a mood stabiliser ALONE.

Illogical given absence of mania.

My discharge paper says depression, which I do not have. COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS

and ADHD untreated can mimic clinical depression but environment immediately change affect.

The first dx sheet says:

Cptsd

Adhd

BPD-11 I assume that’s bipolar 2, despite never being manic

Panic disorder

redacted clinic dx 2021 dx sheet says

ADHD- neurological

CPTSD, STRESS, ATTACHMENT DISORDER

Polysubstance use disorder (what, don’t you treat these things with substances and usually the more dx the more meds?)

So that’s the iceberg, nothing is resolved aside from my own inner things I shall not even permit to be shared.

I know what to do, but the obstacles are unending.

I know how to do things, but the enemy seems to gain momentum from my meds being messed with. I am resolved to be ok, this is my life, lets just forget medication and work out how to get off it all. It will take a LONG time, and long could mean another 6-10 yr.

So they can only keep me if they give me a helpful medication, for adhd, and I will comply, if not, why would I take anything bar the melotonin and continue on holistic?

Nothing. I am chemically free.

This is my mind off medication, see, I can piece together the hidden clues and work the secrets they hide out.

This is why they hide me away from the world.

I haven't had anything considered mind altering or unprescribed since MARCH LAST YEAR. Aside from an array of ALCOHOL AND SEDATIVES. TO TRY AND SWITCH OFF MY RACING MIND WHICH IS NOW NEUROLOGICALLY DIAGNOSED BY A BRAINSCAN AS A NEURODEVELOPMENT DISORDER 'ADHD & CPTSD' and has relied on chemical substituted concoctions for over a decade to be functional in society.

I had such a bad reaction to the medication called Vyvanse Ii was given in 2021 during my time in a clinic, it almost caused me a pulmonary event after I fractured my knee in 2021.

and bc I don't have a covid vaccine and this was during lockdown, I wss trapped in a ED for AGES and they were NOT letting me go. I WILL NEVER take that HELL drug again. I almost got HOSPITAL ARREST bc I REFUSED TO KEEP A FACE MASK ON. THEY HAD ME LOCKED AWAY, SEDATED ON MORPHINE, ENDONE AND BENZOS LIKE A LEPER BECAUSE I WAS UNVAXXED AND WOULDN'T LET ME READ OR HAVE A VISTIOR OR BE ON MY PHONE FOR HOURS.

I wasn't able to get my injury looked at because they only cared about this "clot" In my lungs, I was put on vyvanse a few months prior so I assumed it must have been from that and my panic attack made the situation 1000x worse.

Every time a nurse told me to look at the blood pressure or ECG machine to get the rate down, it just went up, biofeedback is traumatic for me.

They were unable to work out why the sedative wasn't making me docile.

I'll tell you why. I am generationally immune to them. My grandmother was given large amounts of Valium while she was in labor with my mother, which was a premature birth. This lasted a few weeks. So she was up to about 80 mg of diazapam per day to prevent the birth of my mother.

This could be experimental, I am yet to do a literature review

MK-ULTRA subprojects led to social constructs to assign labels to behaviour beyond the "normal" range in society. This came from WW1-2 and in 1952 or 3 lithium began the psychiatric movement to medicate the patients who were locked in asylums and mental institues and given LOBOTOMIES, neurosurgery and a myriad of BARBARIC physical brain manipulations. Showing how archaic the field is.

They told us in about meds they have 5 classes of meds they work with:

Anti psychotics

Anti depressants

Anti anxiety / benzo/barbiturate/sleep pill

Mood stabiliser

Stimulants

Not one new medical mode of treatment has been created since the originals came out, the mood stabiliser, being lithium, anti psychotics, anti depressants, barbiturates and stimulants were all around that same time.

Midnight arrived, time to catch up on prayers, eat and drink and smoke some marijuana. Possibly tequila. Why?

Self medication because the drugs given are not helping. They didn’t think or know better because it’s the want to inflict the pain on me. So its time to go back to where I know, where is my informed consent.

I COULD TAKE THE CLONIDINE VALDOXAN AND MELOTONIN, or one or two or none who knows?

Give me the lamotrigine and dex and I would be compliant.

Play with my chemicals and I will never obey.

I will never obey when my needs are not respected.

I am a human guinea pig, I am a lab rat

My life is ruined by psychiatry. Why should I not sue them? What if I join the inner inner political lodge of thelema OTO in canberra, the one I discovered being linked to my current spiritual temple I FOUND IN 2015, BUT BY COINCIDENCE ONE OR TWO OF THE NEW MEMBERS HAPPEN TO BE PART OF THESE NEFARIOUS ORGANISATIONS, yes, I got astrally ATTACKED FOR THIS, but I am OF UNIVERSAL JUSTICE TO SPEAK OF THE TRUTH? What then?

I have been betrayed and hurt by everyone I ever knew ans that’s the recipe to kill me

I wont die, I won't be killed by the sinister evil enemies are playing in.

I will survive by my own volition.

Don’t let them scare you.

I am rogue, I am no one and belong to nobody

I am not afraid to live with a new lense

I am open to being cured by the sickness inflicted by legal psychiatric medications.

I will be avenged for how my brain was meddled with for 20 years.

I will find joy, pleasure and happiness with no chemical 0r behavioural substitute.

It may take years but today I am cutting ties with all things that are not 100.

TIME IS TICKING, you took what is my birthright but thinking I couldn't fight back, but now I see things with clarity and you can always pull the "shes fucking insane" card over me, but that won't devalue the reality or truth in what is being stated from actual physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and metaphysical reality; let alone magickal.

The other is the collective of egotists who continued experimental regimes done during the war in america under project paperclip, and in other countries under other subproject names, who began the field of psychiatry.

So basically two different ends of the same snake. <INSERT RELIGION HERE>

We don’t even need to justify the issues of religion, let alone a specific one.

I'm my own salvation

I am worthy of my goals, dreams and visions of the future

I will manifest all my purposes in life drive me towards pursuing. My soul will find its fire and once more, the ashes begin to pile from the scraps that settled after the last fire.

For some of us, the brightest ones I was told, once, those who burn the brightest, are deliberately hurt the most

What is hidden will always be illuminated by the light.

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