#rip to shuri but if that man was looking at me like that and offering to help me burn the world down? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#kas9kwc #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes

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yelena-bellova · 4 years ago

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Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Ten

chapter nine - Chapter Ten: Heroes - chapter eleven

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky make one final effort to stop the Flag Smashers.

Warnings: spoilers for episode.6, violence, character death (major), wounds, blood, ANGST ANGST ANGST, Bucky and Y/n are a badass couple, Sam and Y/n are a badass sibling duo, everybody’s a badass, inaccurate medical care (unless you consider google legit then it’s for real lol)

Word Count: 8.6k

A/N: GUYS. SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER. HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?! This one was challenging to write because I wanted to still make it mainly focus on Sam and not detract from his story while incorporating another one, hopefully I did it justice. Smaller amount of Bucky Y/n fluff purely because of plot. Imma shut up now and let you guys judge it for yourselves, hopefully you enjoy ☺️

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I’d always wanted to visit New York, I just never thought that the circumstances in which I’d come would be so dire.

Surprisingly, flying from Delacroix to the city hadn’t been as draining as I’d thought, the adrenaline rushing through me was enough to keep my stamina up. Once I got into the state I shot up higher, the only way to pinpoint the city’s location was by sight alone. The mass of flashing red, white and blue lights served as a literal guiding light and I followed it till my feet made contact with the ground. I landed in between two buildings, a safe distance away from the commotion but close enough that I could intervene if needed. Sam had told me to go ahead of him and meet up with Bucky, the two of us would be on the ground while Sam took care of business with the senators. “Something’s different…” the voice I’d gone days without hearing announced from behind me, “New haircut?” I smirked and turned to face Bucky, “Do you get bulletproof suits for all the girls that catch your eye?” “Only the ones I really like,” he smiled, cradling my cheek in his hand and giving me an overdue kiss before pulling back to admire the suit, “Looks good on you.” The suit that Bucky had the Wakandans design for me was made almost entirely of Vibranium. It was sapphire blue, the same color of my energy with accent lines of silver running through it to define the shape. It clung tight to my body without showing off too much, the v neckline ended just below my collarbone. Hidden behind Bucky’s note in the case had also been a note from Shuri, the princess of Wakanda, listing that the suit was bullet proof and should I choose to channel my energy through a specific part of my body, the Vibranium would absorb and redistribute it to amplify my strike. The whole ensemble made me feel an official member of whatever club I’d decided to join.

I opened my fingerless glove adorned palm out to Bucky, offering him one of the comms Sam had given me and placing the other in my ear. “Ready?” he asked.

For once, I could answer feeling fully confidant in my capabilities. I reached out and squeezed Bucky’s hand, giving a single nod, “Ready.”

The two of us made our way out from between the buildings and headed into the heart of the chaos. There were news crews, police officers, soldiers and SWAT teams while innocent bystanders quickly fled the scene.

“Sam, where you at?” I said into my comm.

“I’m almost there,” he replied.

“What’s the plan?” Bucky asked from beside me.

“Karli’s gotta be close, keep your eyes open.” “Well, it could be anybody…” Bucky said quietly as we passed by a group of officers.

We headed for the building in which the senators were being held, the SWAT team immediately parting to allow Sergeant Barnes and myself to enter. Whether or not he was paying attention to anything other than finding Karli, I wasn’t sure, but I smiled internally at the fact that they’d recognized him for what he should have been recognized for all this time.

“Oh, we also called in some backup,” I relayed to Bucky.

“Excuse me, sir, ma’am,” we turned to see a man in a beanie following us, “Are you supposed to be here?” Bucky looked stunned and slightly concerned while I stayed calm, recognizing the signal. Immediately, Sharon ripped off the technologically advanced mask that concealed her identity. “It’s me.” “Sharon, what the hell are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

I gestured to the woman, “Backing us up…” “Relax, no one’s looking for me here,” she said, pulling on Bucky’s arm in an effort to get us away from the crowd. “Is that Sharon?” Sam asked over the comms.

“Unfortunately,” Bucky answered, earning a light, disapproving smack from me to his chest.

“Hey, Sam, I thought I’d get the band back together,” Sharon said into her earpiece.

“Thank you, you’re risking a lot coming here.” I took a step forward towards the blonde, “If you want me to fly you out of here, now’s the time.”

She gave a little shrug, “I hear pardons aren’t all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”

“Depends on the therapist,” Bucky grumbled.

“They’re gonna move on the building soon. Be ready,” Sam’s voice flowed into my ear.

“Same goes for you,” I replied, trying to compartmentalize the constant anxiety that ran through me in regards to my brother’s safety. Though knowing he wore vibranium wings now did help ease my fears a little. I turned my attention back to Sharon and Bucky, “Let’s split up and do a perimeter check. Front’s clear so I’ll take the back, you two take the sides.” “Wow,” Sharon smirked, “Give you a suit and suddenly you’re Miss Take Charge.” I shot her smirk right back at her as she headed down her side of the building while Bucky and I went around the other way. “Somethin’ changed while I was gone,” he observed as we walked. “You made amends,” I replied, flashing back to my visit to the graveyard, “I made peace.” I expelled energy from my fingertips to float above him and fly to the back of the building, not a soul in sight.

“Y/n, Sharon, Bucky, what’s going on on your end?” Sam asked.

“Nothing, all quiet,” Bucky answered. “Same here,” I said, taking another look around me to be sure,

“No one’s moving toward the building,” Sharon added.

“Karli’s not coming in. She’s trying to force everybody out,” Sam said, “It’s a misdirect, we gotta keep everybody inside.”

I levitated once again and headed to the front of the building, finding Bucky and Sharon waiting for me. Once I landed, we entered through the glass doors. “You guys are gonna have to do something,” Sam panted through the comm, “Don’t let ‘em out of the building.”

We passed through the building’s metal detectors one by one with no issue, till the alarm sounded off on Sharon. “Oops,” she muttered unconvincingly. “Here’s one of them,” Bucky said, gesturing towards a man in a security uniform, a Flag Smasher, “We’ll get the evac.” Bucky and I winded around the halls but didn’t get far before a woman came walking towards us with a phone extended out in her palm, “Mr. Barnes, Miss. Y/l/n, it’s Karli.” How she knew my name baffled me, Bucky reached for the phone regardless and took note of the orange handprint projected on the screen. He placed the call on speaker, “Karli?”

“Aren’t you two tired of fighting for the wrong side?” the young girl asked.

Bucky scoffed as we stepped down a staircase, “I’ve done this before, kid. I know how it ends.”

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t survive this,” she replied, “I’m fighting for something bigger than myself. With all the bodies you’ve collected, have you been able to say the same?”

“You don’t think I ever fought for something bigger than myself?” Bucky asked, “That’s all I ever tried to do. And I failed twice.” I tugged Bucky’s arm so the phone was in front of me, “Karli, all I’ve ever wanted was to use my powers for good. I respect the fight you’re fighting but this isn’t the way to win it.” “Believe me, I know all about your father’s crimes,” she spoke back, “I looked you up after meeting you in Riga, and trust me, the side you’re on is no better than the one your dad was one.” My heart clenched at her words, I knew that she was a black and white person who only dealt in absolutes, but it didn’t mean hearing it didn’t hurt. “If you wanted to do any real good, you’d have joined us,” Karli continued, “You’d have needed to get your hands dirty, but you’d have made an actual difference.” “You think your cause justifies all this death,” Bucky stepped in and took the wheel, “But in the end, the nightmares won’t go away. You’re gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don’t do this. Don’t go down this path.”

There was a hopeful pause over the line, followed by a disappointing response. “If that’s how the both of you feel, you should sit this one out.” I glanced over at Bucky, sharing the same tired, yet determined look I was displaying. “That’s not gonna happen.” “Well, thank you,” Karlie replied, “I’m glad you took my call, you’ve been a big help.” She hung up then, the realization hitting me immediately as to why she’d called us. “The evac,” I breathed, “It was a deterrence.”

“Damn it,” Bucky growled with a clenched jaw, “Come on!”

We raced through across the floor of the building, making for the winding staircase lit up with flashing emergency lights that would lead us to the parking lot. Since we were the only two fleeing the building that particular way, it was a safe bet to make that the hostages had already been evacuated. Once we were in the parking lot, Bucky took the lead and led me to a parked row of motorcycles, quickly hot-wiring one.

“Seriously, guys, you had one job,” Sharon popped out from behind a pillar to critique us.

“You worry about your guy,” Bucky grumbled as he swung his leg over to straddle the vehicle, I promptly did the same, “Good?” Locking my arms around his torso and scooching forward so my Vibranium chest was pressed against his back, I nodded. “Good.” Bucky floored the gas pedal and we rode off with an echoing screech, finding our way through the garage’s exit. A blockade of soldiers yelled at us as we quickly approached them, shooting through the gap between barriers and whipping around the street corner. On any other occasion I’d have enjoyed clinging tight to Bucky’s body as we rode through the cool New York evening air. Sadly, there was no time to savor the moment.

“That’s one down,” Sharon’s voice came through my comm. “How’d you manage that?” Sam joined in. “Mercury vapor, amongst other things.” Bucky made a sharp turn down one of the streets causing me to clutch his middle tighter, “Any idea where they’ll be headed?” “I thought you were the one in charge,” Bucky retorted over the engine’s noise. “You better speed things up, Sam,” Sharon said, “The chopper’s about to take off.” “Bucky, Y/n,” Sam called, grunts following directly after. Bucky halted at a light, determining the rest of our course. “I don’t fly, man, that’s your guys’ thing.” He revved the bike and turned down a different street.

I pressed a hand to my ear, “Meet you there.” Placing a reassuring hand on Bucky’s shoulder, I levitated off the motorcycle and watched him continue on his path while I turned in the opposite direction and headed back through the city. From across the way, I could see the silhouette of Sam’s wings as he jumped off of the building after the helicopter. The chopper had taken a nose dive and was headed for the street, pulling up just before it hit the overpass. I quickened the speed in which I was flying over the bay, catching up to Sam soon enough. He flew lower than me, his new wings dipping into the waters before he shot back up.

“Plan?” I called into the comms as I kept close to the rear of the chopper. “We gotta take out the pilot,” Sam answered, “Take the left side.” I flew to my designated spot and reached out a hand to grasp onto one of the bars of the plane. Reabsorbing my energy, I put full faith in my grip as I dangled off of the helicopter in mid flight. I poked my head out to the window on the pilot’s side only to be given a front row seat to his attempt to kill Sam, firing a machine gun till my brother was forced to pull back and off the chopper. The pilot whipped his head around to lay eyes on me, aiming his gun. Lightning fast, I let go of the bar and narrowly escaped the shots fired, throwing my hands out and expelling energy to resume my flight. Sam wasn’t far behind, we took off in tandem with one another with him sending Redwing ahead to see if any of the hostages had flight training. As the chopper plunged towards the water, we moved in synch with it, just a few hundred feet behind in a dance of sorts. In the distance, I could barely make out the shape of an almost identical vehicle headed towards the one we were tailing, this one bearing the logo of the NYPD. Our chopper rammed itself into the front of the police copter, sending it spinning in a spiral of smoke and fire. If we didn’t get there in time, it would crash into one of the skyscrapers or worse. Sam and I changed course and made a beeline for it. “Get the co-pilot,” Sam yelled as he swerved to my left.

I flew up to the side window and shot an energy blast towards it, smashing the glass and startling the co-pilot. I then levitated him out of the chopper and flew the two of us down to the bridge below us, Sam was right behind me with the pilot. The plane was losing altitude fast and was headed straight for our rescue party. Before I could even think to build a force field, Sam shoved me and the pilots down and shielded us with his wings. I felt the Vibranium shake as the plane bounced off of us and over the edge of the bridge. Sam retracted his wings and the two of us rose to our full heights, him in all his red, white and blue glory.

“Go, I got this,” he instructed, taking off into the skies before I could put up a fight.

I levitated high above the bridge to get a birds eye view of the city, “Bucky, where are you?”

“42nd Street, heading west,” he answered

“I’m a tourist, those words mean nothing to me.”

“I’m passing a building with white and red lights,” he modified his answer. My eyes searched for the building he was talking about, spotting it quickly and taking off toward it. I looked below me to see two humvees and multiple bodies running around them. “Found them, they’re trying to build a-“ “I see ‘em, coming in hot,” Bucky interrupted, I could see his motorcycle speeding down the street and toward the barricade the Flag Smashers had arranged. Taking a leap, or rather a fall of faith, I absorbed my energy and free fell, throwing my hands out and releasing it just before my feet hit the ground. Bucky wasn’t far behind, leaping off his motorcycle and diving forward to tackle one of the Flag Smashers. The man jumped to his feet and Bucky engaged him in combat, the two exchanging punches with Bucky having more favor. In a split second of separation between the two I shot a blast of energy at the man that sent him flying backwards into the side of a truck, creating a super soldier shaped dent in the car. A sudden explosion sounded off nearby, I turned to see that one of the humvees had been set ablaze. Bucky and I ran to the vehicle, I sent an energy blast towards the high tech lock that had been placed on the back doors. It did absolutely nothing.

“Hold on,” Bucky shouted to the screaming hostages as he used his Vibranium arm to pull on the door handle. Even he couldn’t get it open. “Help me!”

I focused all my energy on the lock, sending unsuccessful blast after unsuccessful blast. Letting out a frustrated cry, I backed away giving Bucky another chance to try. He began throwing a stream of relentless punches, his determination growing with each hit. Eventually he’d done enough damage that he switched to pulling at the door’s bar. The pain on his face as he pulled was heartbreaking, the tendons and muscles where his prosthetic met his flesh stretching to too great a length. Making one last ditch effort, I extended my energy towards the handle to help him in his efforts. Together, we strained and struggled until the lock finally broke and the doors opened. While Bucky kept his footing, I fell backwards doing a very ungraceful somersault and landed on my side. What I saw happening in front of me was almost too shocking to believe, and yet not at all.

John Walker was getting his ass kicked by the Flag Smashers.

With a replica of the iconic shield that was definitely not made of Vibranium and his suit, he was lying on the ground being pummeled by the super soldiers. With the vigor in which they were attacking him, I knew that the metal wouldn’t protect him forever. The man that I hated, who had tried to kill me, Sam and Bucky, who had shed innocent blood on Steve’s legacy…I could have let them kill him and I should have wanted to.

But even in my hatred, I couldn’t let a man die.

I rose to my feet and sent a stream of energy towards two of them, knocking them a few feet away from Walker. The third who I deduced to be Karli, came charging at me. I threw up a force field to act as a shield and met each one of her punches with the energy. She let out grunts of frustration, going for a roundhouse kick but giving me just enough time to drop the field and levitate her into the air. I held her there a second, watching her flail about trying to escape before tossing her several hundred feet away from us towards the end of the street. The two Flag Smashers that I’d knocked over came charging back toward me, it was time to test out just what the suit could do…

I focused my energy out through my elbow and hit one of them square in the jaw, the energy sending him rolling down the road far greater a distance that I’d have been able to cause without the Vibranium amplifying it. I turned around to the other one, dodging a quick punch before sending my energy down to my foot, landing a kick my attacker’s stomach that caused him to go airborne and land on top of one of the trucks. Unfortunately, the first guy didn’t stay down as long as I needed him to and came up from behind me and landed a kick to my back. I fell to the road with a groan, felt the burn of the asphalt as it shredded my cheek. I heard the man rip something metal followed by the sound of his thick boots coming my way, undoubtably he’d grabbed something to use as a weapon. As I rose to take another stand, I saw Bucky come running past me and turned to watch him knock the Flag Smasher over, the man dropping the toll meter he’d been holding as a bat over me. Bucky strode forward and they began fighting one another with punches and kicks while I looked around to see Karli welding the unattended meter. She swung it towards Bucky, his avoidance of the hit and my creation of a force field around him totally in synch. Karli took another swing at him and met resistance, unable to move the weapon as I froze it in place with my energy.

“You don’t have to do this,” I urged her.

With a yell she let go of the weapon and dove for me, being hit in the face with a chain that Bucky had picked up. Before I could stop it, the Flag Smasher who had originally intended to hit me with the toll meter landed a kick that sent Bucky flying backwards. His metal hand scraping the asphalt as he desperately tried to hold on before going over the edge of the nearby construction site. “BUCKY!” I cried as he screamed into the night air just before Karli kicked me down herself, and landed a punch to my abdomen. The Vibranium, while giving me protection, still allowed some of the blow to reach me and I was in just enough pain that I couldn’t go after the Flag Smasher that leapt down into the construction hole Bucky had landed in. I sent a blast of energy at Karli, throwing her back and allowing me the time to stand up and regain my footing. At the same time I rose, so did Walker, the two of us sharing eye contact that was oceans away from the last time we’d met on the battlefield. Separating once again, he turned to lift one of the Flag Smashers up by her throat while I landed a punch on one that was coming for me. The second van of hostages was brimming with horrified screams, both my and Walker’s attention being redirected to them. Karli, who stood a few feet away from us, made a run for the humvee and Walker and I chased after her. Walker braced himself with the shield and the two of them came face to face with one another. Giving another insignificant try, I sent a stream of energy towards the lock in an attempt to break it but couldn’t without Bucky’s brute strength. Behind me, I could hear the grunts and groans of Walker and Karli moving around as they fought one another. When the noises got too distant to still be close by, I knew I needed to go back Walker up.

I looked through the everything-proof glass window to the terrified faces of the senators. “We’ll get you out, I promise,” I yelled, taking off towards the fight.

Karli came running out from where they’d disappeared behind, I sent another blast her way that she dodged. She leapt into the air with a cry and raised a fist, I threw up a force field that she bounced off of and rolled to the ground. “This isn’t change, Karli,” I spoke up over the noise of the fire, “It’s murder.” The only response I got was another yell, Karli came charging towards me forcing me to throw up another shield to deflect her punches and kicks. I didn’t want to hurt her, I didn’t even want to fight her. It was different than with Walker where there was a mutual disliking of one another since almost the very beginning, she was just a kid looking to fight anyone who got in her way. Her cause was even something I agreed with, but I couldn’t stand by her taking innocent lives in the process.

Karli caught my exposed neck, gripping my neck tightly and holding me in the air. The bruises from Walker’s assault hadn’t fully healed and Karli was squeezing far tighter than he had. Thinking quickly, I swung my legs around to the back of her knees and forced my energy out of my feet as I slammed into her legs. The two of us fell in a heap, Karli on top of me with her grip loose enough on my throat that I could get out of it and flip her over. I pinned her hands to the asphalt on either side of her head using my energy, “You can stop all of this right now,” I urged over her furious cries, “Karli, please.”

Karli snarled at me before moving her knees to hit me in my back, throwing me off balance and giving her the perfect opportunity to launch me down the same hole Bucky had fallen down. I caught myself mid air and looked down to see Bucky and one of the Flag Smashers fighting with a metal beam, Bucky gaining the upper hand. I dropped to the ground and ran to him as he landed a final strike against the man, knocking him to the ground. As my hand reached out for his arm, there was a violent crash above us. We looked up to see that the humvee filled with the hostages had been driven off the road and was balancing on top of the construction. It teetered on the edge, ready to slip at any moment and finish Karli’s plan. I extended my energy to steady the vehicle, I wasn’t sure what made me think I could keep a couple thousand pound vehicle suspended in midair but the fact that I’d never used my powers like this didn’t matter. I had to try. As it rocked back and forth against my energy, I took a stance and dug my heels in the ground, sending up the steady streams I’d recently discovered I could produce. They curved around the front of the vehicle, protecting it from falling any further. The screams of terror from the hostages were my motivation to keep going, to do everything in my power that I could do save who I could.

After a few seconds of bearing my teeth and groaning in struggle, the load lessened slightly. I opened one of my eyes that had been squeezed shut in concentration to see Walker’s homemade shield near my feet, the decommissioned captain above me pulling the truck from the back. For once, we were working as a cohesive unit. Who would have thought…

All was short lived though as the second we were making progress on getting the humvee away from the edge, Karli and two other Flag Smashers jumped Walker and attacked him. Unable to hold them off, they toppled over and fell into the pit alongside Bucky and I. I cried out as the full weight of the humvee became mine to bear once again, fighting harder than ever to keep it from falling. Every muscle in my body clenched as I kept the streams flowing while also slowly rising off the ground, wondering if it was possible for my body to run out of energy with how much I was throwing into my stand. I had to save them, so long as I was able to fight, I wouldn’t allow any more innocent bloodshed. My hands shook, causing my streams to shake and I groaned as my body sent every signal that it couldn’t continue on.

As I started to falter, I felt something come up beside me and some of the heaviness was taken away. Looking to my left, Sam was in the air bracing the weight of the truck alongside me. I felt renewed with his help to rise with him as we used our combined strength to steadily raise the humvee back onto the beams of the construction site. Once it was secured, Sam and I both landed on either side of the truck and faced the crowd. I made the easy decision to fly back down into the pit, the moment belonged to Sam and no one else. Bucky was at my side at once, his hands on my arms and a careful set of eyes watching to make sure I was okay. I rested my forehead on his shoulder for a too brief second and nodded through my heavy breathing.

From in front of us, Karli launched a spear towards Bucky’s head that he easily got throwing it to the side as he stared her down. Sam’s shield came flying out of nowhere, hitting Karli and rebounding off of the other Flag Smasher before landing back on Sam’s wrist. Karli shed her mask, looking at him with disgust and shock. “You of all people bought into that bullshit?” she asked, examining his patriotic suit from a distance.

“I’m trying something different,” Sam answered, his voice steely, “Maybe you should do the same.”

A sudden explosion was set off, a grenade landing at our feet setting off smoke that blinded us. I quickly covered Sam, Walker, Bucky and myself in a large force field, as my eyes tried to make out Karli’s figure. “This way,” Sam directed, using the tech in his goggles to spot them. I dropped the shield and followed him, the only person I could make out semi-clearly in the haze. We ran down and through a nearby tunnel, weaving down underground hallways in search of the remainders of the group. “Hey Sharon,” Bucky said into his comm, “We’re underground. We entered the tunnel on William. Heading south.”

“Looks like they split up,” Sam announced, he pointed down a corridor, “Here.” Walker took off without a second thought, while Bucky paused in front of Sam and I. “I got it,” he pointed to my brother, brushing his fingers against mine before heading down the hall. Sam and I both watched them leave, my anxiety rising with each step Bucky took away from me. Shaking myself out of the spiral I knew I’d go down if I gave it any more thought, I followed Sam’s lead as we continued on our way. The sound of the Flag Smasher’s signature whistle echoed off the walls causing Sam and I to freeze, he determined where it may have come from and motioned for me to come forward.

“If something happens, you get the hell out of here, got it?” Sam whispered. “Nice try,” I replied, having flashbacks to the various times in the past week or so that we’d had conversations like this, “I’m not leaving you.” Suddenly, two shots were fired nearby. Sam and I bolted in the general direction that the sound had come from, fear flooding my body at the thought of Bucky being on the receiving end of one of the bullets. The worry caused me to run faster. We made it into a wider room, Karli standing in the middle with a gun aimed at a helpless Sharon, laying on the ground with a hand over her abdomen. I spotted the blood staining her shirt and threw a force field around her as Sam clipped his shield to his back. “Sam, stay back,” Karli warned, her eyes flicking to him briefly before landing back on Sharon.

“So, what’s next, huh?” Sam asked, taking careful steps toward her, “You kill ten this time, then, what, a hundred? Where does it end? Please,” he lowered his tone, “Let me help you.” “Don’t try and manipulate me,” Karli replied, looking between the blue barrier I shielded Sharon with and me. She twisted her body to aimed her gun at me, my resolve to protect Sharon stronger than protecting myself.

“Karli, don’t!” Sharon cried.

Sam dove forward and tackled the girl to the floor, somersaulting away from her as Karli raised a piece of cinderblock. She launched it at Sam who deflected the makeshift weapon with his shield. Karli swung at him and Sam jumped on top of a small staircase, his shield in front of him at all times. “I’m not gonna fight you!” he yelled, leaping off the stairs.

Karli continued her attack, Sam dug the tips of his wings into the concrete and met her fist with the shield. “Karli…” he urged just before she ripped the shield away and walked him backwards, Sam completing a series of jumps and flips. Karli grabbed a metal pipe and swung it at Sam, knocking him to the ground. “Stay down!” she growled.

Every instinct I had told me to go after the person who was endangering Sam’s life, anybody’s would be. But I knew that it was pointless to fight her, it was only giving her what she wanted. The serum enhanced people’s personalities, Karli had always been a fighter but now, she was looking to fight anything and anyone and would do it ruthlessly. I couldn’t buy into it.

I retracted the shield I’d built around Sharon and flew around Karli, placing myself between her and Sam. “Karli, the fight is over,” I breathed.

“No!” she shrieked, barely giving me enough time to throw up an energy shield before she threw a punch. Her fist bouncing off of it only angered her more and she began a relentless attack, banging her hands against the force field, taking swipes anywhere she could. I levitated over her head and landed a few feet away, luring her away from Sam. Karli was furious at the fact that she couldn’t touch me or get me to try and battle her. It didn’t take long for Sam to spring to his feet, throwing his shield out in between Karli and I. Karli focused her efforts on Sam then, punching the shield relentlessly as Sam walked her away from me. “Fight back!” she screamed in my brother’s face.

I extended my energy and pulled her away from Sam, throwing her a few feet away from us. Karli let out a battle cry and leapt forward, Sam and I coming side by side and holding up our respective shields. Karli’s fist rebounded off of my energy and spun around to hit Sam’s shield, he then grabbed her by the waist and turned on his thrusters, flying them across to room to slam Karli into a beam. “Stop it,” he ordered, gripping her by the lapels of her jacket. Karli replied by throwing him above her head into the ceiling, I used my energy to yank her away from Sam and in front of me.

“Listen to me, Karli,” I urged, earning a super-soldier shiner to my cheek, “We’re not your enemies.” Karli dropped me to the ground like I weighed nothing, the vibranium suit creating a dent in the flooring. I let out a groan at the shock and she ran off to deal with Sam. “Fight me!” she screamed as she clawed at the shield, “Fight back!” She flipped him over.

He fell.

The shield fell out of his reach.

Karli picked up the gun and aimed it at Sam.

He rose, accepting his fate.

Gathering the strength I had left, I got to my feet.

With trembling hands, knowing what I was about to do, I levitated and landed in front of Sam.

Karli’s face shifted, though I couldn’t read it as my emotions overwhelmed me.

A supercut ran through my mind.

Sam.

Sarah.

AJ and Cass.

Mel.

My mom.

My father.

A legacy rewritten.

Bucky.

Would he forgive me for what I was about to do? I hoped so.

“Go ahead,” I whispered, staring Karli down and blinking away the tears before she could see them, “Do it.” Karli’s face scrunched up as her finger prepared to pull the trigger when suddenly, three gunshots went off from nearby, hitting her. The gun fell to the ground and so did she. My eyes flew to where the bullets had come from, the sight of Sharon holding the smoking gun awaiting me. Sam dropped to his knees to cradle Karli’s head, the young girl staring up at him wide eyed and afraid. I knelt down on the other side of her, slipping her still warm hand into mine and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, staring up at Sam before looking to me. The only thought that ran through my mind was she’s just a girl, she’s just a girl…As I watched the tears well in her eyes before the life drained from them and they shut, the sudden innocence overwhelmed me. She was just a girl…

I didn’t let go of her hand even when it went limp, holding it to my heart as I wept over her. Sam cradled her cheek as we sat quietly, the only sounds were my soft sobs and Sharon’s labored breathing. I couldn’t face her right now, my feelings were too mixed about the way she had saved my life.

Eventually, once an undetermined amount of minutes had passed, Sam lifted Karli into his arms and the two of us rose to leave. When I turned to tell Sharon to come with us, she was already gone, probably having slipped out a back hallway. Sam carried Karli’s body the entire way out of the building, I hardly registered when we made it outside in the night air.

“I’ll clear the way for you,” I mumbled, extending my energy and shooting into the air, Sam not far behind me. The wind blowing against my dried my tears off of my cheeks as I flew toward the glow of ambulance lights outside the building we’d started the night at. There were crowds of news crews, there were the senators we’d saved and officers cleaning up the wreckage that had been left behind. They all noticed as I flew up, landing in the midst of it all and scanning the crowd for Bucky. Once I spotted him and Walker towards the very back near the ambulances, I ignored the reporters asking me questions as I weaved through the chaos. Bucky strode forward as I neared and wrapped me in his arms, I let go of the breath I’d been holding in my chest as soon as our bodies met. He was okay. My hands held the back of his neck as I dug my face into his shoulder. He tapped my waist and I turned to see Sam flying in, resembling the an angel with his outstretched wings as he landed. He carefully passed off Karli’s body to the paramedics who placed the girl on a stretcher, carrying her off to who knows where.

Sam walked towards the crowd, doing the same as me and ignoring the reporters flooding him with unimportant questions. He had flown in carrying the dead body of a kid and here they were, asking him if they should refer to him as Captain Falcon. He stopped in front of the senators who were busy thanking him for dealing with what I heard one refer to as ��terrorists.’

“Are you still going forward with resetting the borders?” Sam asked.

They answered, and while I couldn’t hear their words, I could read Sam’s face well enough to know it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“You have to stop calling them terrorists…” “What else would we call them?” one of the senators asked. “Your peacekeeping troops carrying weapons are forcing millions of people into settlements around the word, right?” Sam continued, “What do you think those people are going to call you? These labels, terrorists, refugees, thug. They’re often used to get around the question ‘why.’

“Those settlements that happened five years ago, do you think it is fair for governments to have to support them?” another senator asked. “Yes,” Sam said plainly.

“And the people who reappeared only to find someone else living in their family home, they just end up homeless?” the bearded senator pushed back, “Look, I get it. But you have no idea how complicated this situation is.”

Just as he prepared to walk away, Sam spoke up. “You know what, you’re right, and that’s a good thing. We finally have a common struggle now. Think about that. For once, all the people who’ve been begging and, I mean, literally begging for you to feel how hard any given day is, now you know. How did it feel to be helpless? Now if you can remember what it was like to be helpless and face a force so powerful, it could erase half the planet. You would know that you were about to have the exact same impact. This isn’t about easy decisions. Senator.”

“You just don’t understand,” the senator replied, probably the most ignorant response I’d ever heard.

Sam scoffed, “I’m a black man, carrying the stars and strips. What don’t I understand? Every time I pick this thing up, I know there are millions of people out there who are going to hate me for it. Even now, here. I feel it. The stares, the judgment, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Yet I’m still here. No super serum. No blonde hair or blue eyes. The only power I have is that I believe we can do better.”

Holding onto Bucky a little tighter, the tears that I shed had morphed to those of joy. There my brother stood, in front of the government and the entire country saying what we all needed to hear. He spoke without reserve, unapologetic in his stance, and I had never been prouder of him.

“We can’t demand that people step up if we don’t meet them halfway,” Sam’s voice rose with passion, “Look, you control the banks. Shit, You can move borders. You can knock down a forest with an email. You can feed a million people with a phone call. But the question is, who’s in the room with you when you’re making those decisions? Hmm? Is it the people you’re gonna impact? Or is it just more people like you?” he paused, collecting himself before gesturing to where Karli’s body lay in the ambulance, “I mean, this girl died trying to stop you. And no one has stopped for one second to ask why. You’ve got to do better, Senator, you’ve got to step up because if you don’t, the next Karli will. And you don’t want to see 2.0. People believed in her cause so much that they helped her defy the strongest governments in the world. Why do you think that is? Look, you people have just as much power as an insane god,” Sam’s voice broke for only a second, “Or a misguided teenager. The question you have to ask yourself is how are you going to use it?”

With that, he walked away from the crowd that had been watching him so intently and made his way towards us. He stopped in front of Walker, the two of them sharing a look before nodding to one another, a non-verbal truce being declared. Walker also turned to me, in the end he had stepped up and done the right thing, but I knew that the two of us would never be on good terms. I’d never forget his tightening grip around my throat, nor would he forget that I wasn’t afraid of him and would tear him apart if he ever tried anything like he had in the warehouse again. But I had saved the guy’s life and because of that, his stare softened for only a second as he nodded his thanks to me. I watched as he disappeared into the crowd, off to whatever his next mission may be…

“Sorry, I was, uh, I was texting and so, all I heard was, um, “a black guy in stars and stripes,” Bucky broke the tension of the moment as Sam approached us.

The three of us shared a chuckle before Sam and I locked eyes, not having spoken a word yet about what had happened underground. I threw my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my shoulders, sharing probably the best hug we’d ever had. Our shared goal of keeping one another alive had been achieved. “Love you,” I whispered in his ear. “Love you too,” he replied, a hint of emotion choking him up. He squeezed a little tighter before releasing me, the three of us walking off together.

“Nice job, Cap,” Bucky said, patting Sam’s back that displayed the shield before sliding his hand back around my waist. A few feet away, hidden behind one of the ambulances and leaned up against the car was a familiar blonde figure.

“Sharon?” Sam called.

“Blocking my light,” she retorted, holding a gauze pad to the gunshot wound on her abdomen. “We need to get you to a hospital,” I strode forward, examining her injury as best I could.

“She’s not gonna listen,” Bucky grumbled as he looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody was following us. Sharon panted as she shrugged, “Hey, it’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me all week.”

“Told you…” Bucky said at my side. “Yeah, I don’t care,” I shook my head, “We’re take care of this.” “Uh, Cap?” an interruption came, the senator that had been on the receiving end of most of Sam’s impassioned speech. “I think he’s talking to you,” Sharon said before turning to both Sam and I, “Look, I’m sorry for how things ended down there. For what it’s worth,” she looked Sam up and down and genuinely smiled, “Suit looks good on you.”

Sam chuckled, “Thanks.”

Bucky nodded along, humoring the conversation for as long as he could. “All right, look, can we get out of here, please?” he asked, placing a hand on Sharon’s back to urge her forward. Giving up, she allowed him to lead her away.

“I didn’t forget my promise,” Sam called to Sharon, referring to the pardon I hoped he could secure for her.

I turned to my brother, “Meet you back home?”

He gave a long sigh, his eyes flitting between Bucky’s departing figure and me, “Why don’t you stay here a couple days?” I knew what he was offering and how hard it was for him to say the words, he was trying to give me time with Bucky. I did my best to conceal my smile, “Are you sure?” “You risked your life all week, you almost died trying to protect us,” he stated with a scoff, “I think you deserve a little time off. Now go,” he looked back to Bucky and scrunched his face up a little, “Before I change my mind.” Unable to hide my grin any longer, I reached out and clasped hands with him, bringing each other in for another hug. “Go get ‘em, Cap.”

The two of us let each other go, off to tend to our business before eventually reuniting back in the house we’d grown up in. It was crazy to think that I owed almost every great thing in my life to the boy who’d sat next to the lonely girl in first grade. Now here we were, dressed in Vibranium off saving the world, or at least doing what we could to make it a better one.

——

“Superhero, nurse…you’re full of surprises, Y/l/n,” Sharon commented before sucking in a sharp breath as I placed another suture.

I laughed softly, concentrating on my work, “I took a first aid class a couple years ago. When you’re living with two boys, trust me, it comes in handy a little too often. But I’ve never had to remove a bullet.” We were seated on the floor of Bucky’s Brooklyn apartment with me tending to Sharon’s wound using his first aid kit. Bucky was waiting in his bedroom to give us privacy, Sharon had her shirt pulled up and her pants unbuttoned to give me full access to her stomach. I’d had to place sutures once when Sarah had accidentally sliced her finger open with a knife, pulling out a lodged bullet was entirely new to me.

“I saw you tonight, with the truck,” she said as she watched me work, “You did good.”

I supposed now that I had shown my powers to the world, I’d have to get used to people paying me compliments but for now, I still didn’t know how to take them. “So are you gonna stick with it? The hero thing?” Sharon asked.

I tied another suture, closing the sterilized hole in her abdomen. “I think so. Captain America needs a right hand man, why not have it be his sister?” Sharon hummed in agreement, a beat of silence passing. “You don’t think you’ll strike out on your own? You seem a little too independent to follow orders.” “Yeah, well,” I started working on the last stitch, “Sam and I work better together than I would with anyone else. Maybe one day I’ll do my own thing but for now, I’m fine where I’m at.” “Well, I guess you’re finally in a position to do all that good you said you wanted to,” she sighed, “Just don’t forget to keep your eyes open, opportunity’s everywhere.” “Alright, Miss Madripoor,” I chuckled, sterilizing the wound one more time with an alcohol wipe, “Your hustler side is showing.”

Sharon shrugged and gave a little smirk, “All I’m saying is there’s a lot of ways to effect change, but I’m sure you’ll find that out.” Storing her advice away in my head for a later time, I placed a gauze pad on her abdomen and secured it. “Alright, you should be good. Just promise me that you’ll actually get checked by an actual doctor or whatever you have in High Town?” “Sure thing, Doc,” she replied with a smile as she adjusted her clothes again and rose to her feet, “You’re good, Barnes!” Bucky stepped back out into the room, peering around the corner carefully before entering fully. Despite the fact that he was in his own apartment, he still hadn’t changed out of what he’d worn to the fight. “What happens now?” I asked, looking to Sharon, “Hotel? Hidden apartment in some dodgy part of the city?” Sharon chortled at my suggestions, “I’ve got a plane waiting to take me back to Madripoor. The longer I stay here, the more of a chance they’ll find me,” she gave a small smile, “It was good seeing you guys again.” “It won’t be the last,” I confirmed, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Sam’ll get that pardon, you’ll be back before you know it.” “That’d be nice,” she sighed longingly, clearly thinking about all the freedom that would come with coming back home. Coming back to the conversation, she patted my arm and regained her full voice, “But until then, keep them in check. God knows they need it.” “The hell does that mean?” Bucky grumbled from his position outside his bedroom, leaving Sharon and I to share a laugh before she walked to the front door. “I’ll do my best, and hey, thank you for what you did for me...” I called out just before she shot us one last knowing smile and left, the door shutting behind her. While I wanted to worry about her walking the streets of New York and possibly getting caught, I’d seen enough of her in action to know that she could handle whatever came her way.

Bucky slowly made his way to the door, locking it and turning around to face me. It was the first time of the night we’d been completely alone. Our eyes met, tired and traumatized but still alert and seeking one another out. Bucky crossed the room in a few long strides, taking his time in approaching me as if he was savoring the moment. I reached out once he was close enough and interlocked my hand with his, tugging him close to me. He dragged two featherlight fingers over the nasty bruise that Karli had given me, his brow furrowing as he examined the side of my face. I ran my thumb over the long red bruise across the side of his forehead, the pressure increasing when he leaned into my touch.

The night could have ended so differently. If Karli had pulled the trigger, if Bucky hadn’t fought on such high alert, we could have ended in tragedy. Such thoughts were better buried away and not thought of, but I couldn’t help it. Lucky, blessed, whatever word you wanted to use…we were it. With no battles on the horizon to fight, we could focus on figuring out just what spark there was between us.

No words needed to be spoken, not for now at least. Tonight, all I needed was to hold Bucky in my arms and remember that despite every odd and every trouble thrown our way, we were alive. And as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in a tender but still passionate kiss, I had never felt more alive.

----

A/N: Oh, but we’re not done yet...We still have some time off and a cookout to attend 😉 I really can’t thank you all enough for sticking with this series the past few weeks, it means the world to me that I’ve been able to bring a little joy to people’s days. Let me know what you thought and if you’d like to be tagged for the LAST CHAPTER.

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale @wanniiieeee @asoftie4bucky @edencherries @i-reblog-fics-i-like @ttalisa @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess @rinaispunk @weirdowithnobeardo @felicityofbakerstreet @godlyhufflepuff @eternalharry @voguesir @mizz-kraziii @okayline @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories @nicklet94 @intricate-melody @aesthethickks @stumbleonmywords @simplybarnes @21bruhs @lostinwonderland314 @superbookishhufflepuff @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @zozebo @fandomxreaders @kittengirl998 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @i-know-i-can @x-judyjude-x @thebi-valkyrieofvalhalla @buckverse @living-that-best-life @haphazardhufflepuff @citlalireedus @lindseyrae20 @missstef23 @qhbr2013 @sebby-stann @bluemoon-icecream @iixbella @lets-love-little-me @abitofeverythinggg @itsnottilly @sltwins @mads-weasley @hart-failure @natdrunk @nctma15 @obsessedwithjustaboutanything @patdsinner33

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x platonic!reader #marvel imagine

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years ago

Text

Welcome To The Pack: Sing My Song

Part Two

Summary- 7.5k Steve Rogers x You. Having you back makes the Alpha very happy, and has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Which you don’t have any issues with that. Shuri continues her work with you, and making progress everyday, enough so Steve hopes to take you on a run through Wakanda. Bucky and his team are drawing in on Brock, but will they be able to take out the ex Alpha and his bitch for good? Warnings- Smut and Violence. Divider made by @firefly-graphics

A/N- Im breaking this into 2 parts. Its long and I feel like its just a lot to handle all to once. So next chapter will be posted soon. As always, Thank you for sticking with me and The Pack, I hope you all enjoy. As always feedback and your thoughts are encouraged, I’m always open to hearing what you all think and would like to see for them in the future. Happy Reading 🐺❤️

Part One / Chapter 8 / Masterlist

Brock did nothing to fight back or defend himself. His eyes glittered malicious at Bucky, baring his teeth at Bucky.

“Cassandra really had NO idea what you were. You were just such a good fuck and easy listener Barnes. You should have heard her screams when we showed her what you were, what we were.” Brock taunted, making Bucky recoil slightly hearing him.

Brock's taunts gave Alanna enough time to shift out of Bucky’s sight, for her to slink around the room and low to the ground and start to approach the White Wolf from behind. In Bucky’s mind the White Wolf paced, wanting to rip out Brock’s throat, lap at the hot spurts of blood that would spray. But then he noticed the silence, his ears flicking around but he heard nothing.

<Where's the bitch?> the White Wolf snarled out.

Bucky started to turn enough to see a rush of tawny fur leaping at him, and he spun to kick out, catching the Wolf in the ribs and sending her flying back. But it was enough for Brock to knock the blade from Bucky’s hand, and push him back to get out of the corner. He was hitting Bucky in enough different places that it was leaving Bucky too disoriented and a collar got shoved around his neck from behind. Bucky heaved his shoulders to dislodge whoever had come up from behind, and he sent Wanda sprawling against the floor.

Brock was quick to back off once that collar went on him, barking out at Wanda who was just getting up to go for Bucky once more. “GIve it a rest, witch. We got him now.” Wanda subdued herself once more, that vacant look melding into something new, something controlled.

“Wanda, you can fight this.” Bucky's hands went up to the collar tight around his neck, growling in anger and frustration, but doing his best to keep it together. Brock gave an amused laugh as Wanda continued to ignore Bucky.

Alanna whined as she moved to a stand and shook herself out, not too injured from being kicked and started to shift back and get dressed once more. From the stairs, Pietro sent Clint tumbling down to land in a pile at the landing, unconscious now from whatever the twins had done to him upstairs. Bucky's fingers curled around the collar, trying to figure out how to get this particular one off. It wasn't metal like the one Pierce had used on him, no secret button to press. This was supple leather, molding around his neck like it was a part of him, thin, almost unnoticeable. He tried wrenching the leather against his neck to make it snap , but the leather never gave, and neither did the clasp holding it in place.

“Don't even bother Barnes. That isn't like Pierce's contraptions. These are the real deal, you are ours now Bucky. You and your friends too. Teper' tvoya moya sobaka.” Your our dog now

“What the-” the man clammed up, Bucky and the White Wolf being pulled out of control of his body, and his eyes snapped from their usual friendly blues into cold steel.

“Ahh, that's better.” Rumlow circled Bucky, leaning in close. “You will no longer answer to Steve Rogers, although I’m not sure why you ever did. You had the power to take the Pack from him. You now listen to me, Soldat.” Bucky stiffened more, and he too fell into the spell that the rest had.

After Natasha left with Stark's Jet, Steve was able to borrow a jeep and took you out for the rest of the morning into one of the nearby markets. Once he parked the jeep, the two of you started down an open market lane. You and Steve were sure to pause and admire the carts of bright beautiful items Wakandians made for sale. Steve watched how you would pick up little trinkets made of the Beli wood and would sit the little trinkets to balance on your palm. Steve noticed you favored the animal shapes, little tree frog mid croak, then an elephant with its trunk curled over its head, one of a sitting hyena pair, and a parrot that had spread wings like in flight. But the one you kept picking up was a little panther one that matched the cliff face carving that could be seen from the balcony of the room you shared. Curling your finger along its back before you set it down, you hummed happily as you wandered to the next merchants stall. Steve though stalled, watching you pick up a couple of scarfs, their colors vivid as you twisted to hold them up to the sunlight, the color seeming to meld on your face, lighting your eyes a whole new color.

When you had stepped away, Steve picked up the small carved Panther, and subtly paid for it. Once it was handed back to him, he slipped it in his slacks out of sight when you came back to him, holding up a few scarfs. “I think I'm going to get these for Wanda, Sara and Natasha.”

“They would like them, but what about one for you?” He asked, his hand moving to rest in the small of your back while you both went back into the stall to look.

You glanced at the colors, and then there was one that reminded you of your Alphas eyes that happened to catch your sight. It was a streak of blue and yellow and you picked it up to add to the arrangement you made. Handing it to the merchants owner, you gave a shy thank you. Steve wrapped an arm around you as the two of you continued down, and Steve happened to pause at another booth, overlooking some blades that had a unique sheen to them. As soon as Steve touched one, he was intrigued. The weight felt like it was made just for him, and he let his thumb trail barely along the edge of them. He was surprised with the immediate red beads of blood following along the barely there cut. “What are these made of?”

“Vibranium sir. Each blade will fit to its owner's needs. The weight will change, absorb energy, be lethal to any target. These blades will never grow dull with use. I wouldn't normally sell these to any visitors, but guests of the Kings, feel free to choose from what I have to offer.” His hand swept over the collection, and you were fascinated watching Steve go through them. He obviously had a few people in mind as he set more aside to purchase, right along with several lethal looking arrowheads.

The rest of the morning the two of you shared bites of food from samples offered, you would laugh at the occasional face Steve would make when he didn't care for the taste of something. Dropping his head to nip at your lips and growl against them that he prefers the taste of you instead. You glanced up at him and leaned up to your tiptoes, biting gentle on his jawline, before flowing to his ear.

“I plan on finding out soon if you taste as good as you look.”

Cerulean eyes widened as you sauntered away to where music was playing, your hips swaying back and forth, and joining in with others enjoying the music.

<She got you that time.> The Alpha had a smirk to his tone, huffing with amusement at Steve's still shocked look.

She gets me all the time, this time isn't anything new.

When he finally reached where you were wandering while listening to the music, and engaged in several conversations with the Wakanda merchants. Steves wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to your neck first. You arched your neck just a bit for him, and he let his mouth linger against your temple, whispering just to you. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked as you watched some people weaving baskets nearby. The Wolf in him sighed in content when you nodded, and slid a hand under his shirt, pressing your hand against his back for the contact. “Yes, Alpha.”

“We should probably get back, you still have a session with Shuri.” He didn't want to, but a glance at the time on the phone showed it was near noon and he wanted to eat lunch in the room before you two headed down for what he was hoping would be the final session for you with the Panther. You gave a soft nod, and he weaved his hand with yours, leading you back to the car.

Driving back, it was a quick trip up to the room. The kitchen had already brought up a spread of crackers, fruit, cheese and some meats. In the heat the two of you shed your clothes, opting for something lighter and more airy before moving the tray out to the balcony, still in the shade, but able to enjoy the expansive view before you two. Pouring glasses of water, that Steve was sure to hand one to you while you leaned against the railing, looking over the view.

“One day I would love to come back, if T’Challa would have us. Really explore.” There was so much they haven't seen, not with how tired you have been after your sessions with Shuri.

“I'm sure we can Little One.” Steve rumbled, his sensitive to the light eyes squinting against the bright light. You nuzzled under his chin, and pulled him back into the shade to relieve him. Steve broke into a grin as he sat down, and wrapped an arm around your hip, pulling you into his lap.

“With proper sunglasses next time, I promise.” He nipped at your shoulder affectionately, and you nodded, reaching forward for a piece of fruit, popping it between your teeth and chewing with a snort.

“And all sorts of sunscreen. You burned a bit from that walk in the market this morning. There might be some aloe vera in the bathroom I can put on that for you.” Your fingers slide very gently along the back of his neck, where it has turned slightly red. Steve lifted his hand to feel the back of his neck, and sure enough there was a touch of heat.

“Be gone in a couple days.” He assured you as he nipped against your jawline, rubbing a hand along your hip to steady you as you leaned for another piece of fruit from the bowl. Reaching for a piece of pineapple, you straightened and pressed it against his lips, so he would take it.

“You know what they say about the pineapple, don't you?” You teased as you nibbled on a piece of cold cheese, smirking slightly.

Steve's eyes shifted to yours, and you could see how your teasing was making them shine a bit more, as he tried to keep his voice as innocent as possible.

Which really wasnt alot.

“Oh something about tasting better?” He growled as his lips pressed to yours, pulling slightly on your lips before pulling away. You grinned when he did and nodded.

“Mmhm, not sure what exactly? Maybe I will just have to take my time exploring to find out.”

“You do that Little One.” He growled, even the Wolf started snickering at how the two of you were teasing one another.

You nibbled your way along his bottom lip, the short hairs of his beard tickling you. A press of your tongue on the seam of his mouth asked for entrance, and when Steve opened to you, you were able to lap at the roof of his mouth, his own movements mimicking yours in that moment. You started humming at the sweetness the taste of fresh fruit left, his own tongue pressed against yours more demanding, wanting more of you.

Hands started to match one another, yours cupped his face, and his braced against your back to arch you in closer to him. Sliding down his neck and to his chest, you started to tug at his shirt to lift in, needing to feel the spanse of his chest under your palms. All that power is just sitting there in your control. It was a head rush for you to know that the Alpha would do anything to keep you happy, and happily the favor was returned. Even though giving the bite scared you, if Steve really asked for it, you would allow him to mark you wherever he wanted his mark.

Your fingers are curling against hard pecs, and burying in the dusting of hair, Steve’s grasped the curve of your waist and lifted you enough to straddle his lap, wanting you as close to him as possible . There was a growl against your mouth and Steve pulled away to place deep sucking marks against your neck. Your hips started shifting like they had a life of their own, grinding yourself against him for that friction his hard erection gave while straining to bury into your heat.

Steve craved the skin to skin contact, and his hands released you enough to reach over his shoulders to grasp his shirt and roughly pull it off. Yours too was in the way, grasping at the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head to drop it on the floor nearby. He marveled for a moment at the sight of you, and dropped his head to kiss the swells of the tops of your breasts in that similar way he was kissing on your neck earlier, your fingers clutched at him and a sigh escaped you at the coil he was building in your core. Fuck if he didnt have a hold on you, letting your body just lean into his hands, one pressing against the small of your back to hold you still while he removed your bra. Letting it fall to the ground, he nuzzled and kissed your breasts, bringing a nipple to his mouth, the hot lashing of his tongue, and pleased rumbled vibrating from his mouth through you to make you clench at the sensation. Your head fell back and lips parted to inhale deeply, sinking into the sensations of his hot lips and wet tongue teasing you while the brush of his beard brought its own tingling sensation.

“You feel so good Alpha.” he heard you pant, and Steve bit down slightly before sucking you back into his mouth, his fingertips rolling over your other nipple before tugging it a bit, rolling and taunting till he could get his heated mouth over to draw you in, tease you till you were wriggling in his lap. He moaned again at the sweet taste of you.

It was during all this his Wolf chose this moment to start calling your song, deep howls almost distracting him, you felt that bit of untamed wilderness in him when his body clenched, muscles tightening and rippling.

Another roll of your hip ground you into his now aching, throbbing erection, and you pulled your hands away to work his pants open, reaching to take his cock out of the confines, and stroke him, palm him, run your fingertip over the head leaking precum. Steve growled and pressed his face into the softness of your breasts, before going back to kissing them, going back up your chest to find your mouth, growling against your panting mouth. “Get those shorts off.”

There was no more thinking, or sense of you having to be anywhere in a certain amount of time as you scrambled off and started to tug the fabrics of your shorts and panties down, watching while Steve arched his hips to get more of his own pants down to give you room. It wasn't long till he was pulling you back to him, this time your knees found purchase in his chair and you reached between the two of you to press him against your aching entrance. Crying out as you started to bring yourself down over him. You knew that satisfied cry had to echo from your balcony, but you were beyond caring.

A hunger for your Alpha over took you, and he was just as impatient as you because he lifted his hips to finish bringing you two together.

“Fuck Y/N” his head dropped to bury back into your breasts, muffling the sounds of his groans as you flexed and clasped around him, whimpering yourself at how thick he felt at this angle, like it would split you to have him like this. But you were slick with need, and while he was still processing the intense feeling washing over him, being seated in you, and the damn Wolf howling over and over, you made the first move. Grasping his shoulders for leverage and arching up just enough to drag him through you, enough to sink back on him in a slow testing manner. “You're so damn tight.” Steve groaned against your skin.

Riding Steve, you slid one arm around his neck, cradling against him. Your body knew what it wanted, and you let yourself go while he growled against you. He was back to kissing and nipping his marks into your skin while rocking his cock into your thrusts, meeting you with his own need to be inside of you, to feel you clenching him. “Just like that Little One, you are such a good girl to me.” Your slick started to soak into his pants, the fabric friction burning against your thighs and cunt, but you wanted it and pressed a bit harder each time for that friction.

Steve's hand flexed against the small of your back, dragging up to fist in your hair, wrapping it around his hand till he was able to pull your head back, swarmed with the desire to sink teeth into your neck and take you officially as his mate. You gasped when you felt the tug of hand dragging your head back, and he took over your movements. His hand curled against your hip pulled you harder on his cock, scenting your neck and lapping over the pulse. You knew what he wanted, you could feel it with every angled thrust aiming to take you apart around him.

He wanted to claim you as his, and you didn't want him to, not until your Little Wolf had returned.

You whined out softly. “Not yet Alpha.”

And that was enough, both Steve and the Wolf changed focus, turning soft nips into kisses, releasing your hair to dig fingers against your waist, and burying himself deeper, hitting that spot every time, and grinding your clit against him each time he filled you. It was enough to make your lower belly clench and your cunt flex and flutter around him.

“Not until you're ready.” Steve promised as he claimed your mouth again, hissing against it. “Cum for me Little One, let me see you come apart.”

Driving himself once more, snapping his hips up to bring you closer, a finger slipped between your bodies and pressing, rolling hard over your bundle of nerves to finish you. “Give it to me, your Alpha wants it.” he growled against your lips, sliding his tongue to fill yours, stroking and lapping at you till you started to squeeze him. Crying his name against the kiss, and eyes fluttering up to lose yourself in feeling anything but bliss. Steve gathered you close as his final thrusts sent him over the edge. He finished with the feeling of your cunt squeezing him tightly and milking him. It was just that much more incentive to brim you full with his cum. His balls tightened before his release and a burn in his belly snapped to crash you onto him, pumping himself deeper so you couldn’t forget that flood of warmth enveloping you. Whenever his knot would loosen and he could pull from you, there he would be dripping down your thighs, making him bury his head in against your shoulder with a groan, just thinking about it. Fuck how he loved that. Himself all over you, inside you. Everyone would be able to tell you were his.

You felt Steve drift off in his own pleasure, his face buried in your shoulder and your nose traced his neck. You inhaled against his neck as his chest rose and fell against yours and you could feel his heart thumping wildly. Your fingers massaged against his upper back, and you leaned into Steve's chest humming softly in pleasure.

“Thank you Steve.” brushing fingers through his hair, and you could feel him stir underneath you, lifting his head to press his lips against your temple, and leaning his forehead against yours with eyes still closed.

“I promised you when you first found me that I wouldn't make you do anything you weren't ready for.”

His hands stroked your back, and each scar his fingers slid over were no longer bringing memories of a time you fought to forget, but now they were now moments of touches and whispers in moments like these. Where both of you were coming back from the rush of being together. You arched into his touch and his hand flattened against the small of your back, pressing you into him harder, closing any space that might have been left between you two.

The Wolf in Steve stirred, pushing once more to a stand and shaking out his fur after a few moments. His head cocked and ears perked as he was listening to something. Steve fully ignored him for now, still enjoying the post love making he just had with you.

<She’s closer then before.> The Wolf's ears perked, picking up traces of your Little Wolf. The Wolf rumbled in anticipation of her arrival, and it passed through Steve and into you, making you press in closer against him.

Call for her.

The Alpha paced back and forth, listening for the Little Wolf till his head fell back and called your song once more. Steve hummed it himself while pressing his lips against your shoulder and in the hollow of your neck, lacing it in your skin and while you were relaxing from still coming down from your orgasm.

You felt her, it was so subtle, a brush in your mind that you thought it would be nothing more then a glimpse once more. This time though it felt familiar as your own inner thoughts were, like before you were left all alone in your mind. First it was her soft sigh of content, like coming home after being away so long. Then the Little Wolf came from the very depths of your mind, each padding footfall bringing her closer to the front of your consciousness.

Little Wolf, please tell me your back.

She leaped into your mind with a graceful prance as she tilted her head back in the manner the Alpha had when Steve told him to call for her. She answered him with one of her own.

<As if you could honestly could get rid of me.> She brushed up against your mind, feelings of warmth and affection radiating, and you straightened up suddenly in Steve’s hold.

“Steve, she's back! She’s back, It worked!” You cried out, grasping his face and overwhelmed with emotion, you poured all what you were feeling into a kiss. Momentarily surprised, Steve was quick to tilt into it, inhaling your joy, relief and passion. When you pulled away, he grasped your own face, covering it in his own brush of his lips, a wide grin on his face.

“I knew you could bring her back Little One, it was a matter of time.” He praised and you lifted your hands to cover his own, weaving fingers through his.

“Not without Shuri, T’Challa, Natasha… You. I felt your Wolf, You.” You didn't know how to explain it, that connection you felt with him was what kept your Little Wolf searching for her way back. Steve’s brows lifted, searching your expression a moment, and let the corner of his mouth lift in a quirk of a smile.

“Don't sell yourself short Little One.” He nudged his nose against yours gently and wiggled his brows. “Think we should go tell Shuri that you won't be needing her work on you anymore?”

You bit your lip excitedly and nodded, in which he grasped your waist and was careful to help you pull off him and to a stand, moaning as he looked you up and down. “You also need to get dressed again. As well as drink some water.”

You already were downing the glass on the table, giving him a snort as you set it down. The Little Wolf huffing in laughter at the Alphas bossiness.

“You to Alpha, I wasn't the only one huffing and puffing earlier.” You poured him another glass and handed it to him before passing him to go get dressed, looking over your shoulder. “Are you going to let me keep these clothes on?”

Steve drained the glass himself and worked on zipping his pants back up, following you inside, while leaning against the frame of the opening to the balcony.

“Depends, The Big Bad Wolf is still hungry.” he smirked as you pulled a shirt over your head, wide eyed as you head poked through.

“Steve Rogers, you really are an animal!” You huffed out happily. When Steve approached you, your hand smoothed against his chest and his arm came around you protectively.

“I've never denied it, have I?” Biting your shoulder softly in play before he let you go, you both finished getting dressed and left the room to head down to Shuris lab. When they arrived, the woman had everything set up and Steve gave your shoulder a light squeeze of encouragement.

“So I'm really hoping today Y/N that your wolf comes back with a bang.” Shuri said almost distracted, tapping on the tablet she was using.

<Ha! I did come in after a bang!> The Little Wolf grinned with a swipe of her tongue around her muzzle.

I think you planned it like that.

<Maybe I did. I see now that I’m back you're not so shy around the Alpha. Straddling him while on a balcony in the middle of the day. Almost like… your back in heat.> She snickered.

Shut up. You know I'm not. It was a lot quieter when you were MIA.

The Little Wolf huffed in laughter, settling down to let you focus.

I’m actually so fucking happy your back. You confessed to her and the Little Wolf whined in agreement, happiness radiating through you.

“Actually, she did. She came back just a little while ago. You did it Shuri. She's back.”

Shuri gave an excited squeal, Steve momentarily tightening his arm around you in surprise before letting you go to meet the Princess.

“I knew she would be back.” Raising her hand and you gave her a high five once you realized what she wanted. “Just a bit of some rewiring and bam. Good as new. You don't mind if I take a sneaky peek?”

You shook your head no, and willingly got on the table, letting her pull up an image of the inside of your mind. Steve watched from nearby, admiring the way little sparks were doubled what they were before, an obvious sign that your Little Wolf was active.

He did have a couple questions though. “Was it just the work you've been doing to bring her back.” Hoping for an answer that would prove to you that you called her back.

“Some of it, but I genuinely believe that with time Y/N would have fixed this on her own. Just taken some time. I can't say for sure, as overuse of the herb isn't common. Honestly, I think once she felt at ease again, happy and content, safe. It was enough to bring the wolf back.” Shuri recorded images and took your hand to help you back up. Making you ponder on what she had said, glancing at Steve.

Steve looked rather proud of you, and piped up once more. “Last question. She's back right, for good? No in and out disappearing on Y/N anymore?”

You gave a stretch as you stood, curious now to Shuri’s answer, who prominently shook her head. “She's back where she wants to be. All those little electric waves, ones of content. She won't be disappearing again unless someone shoots you with a dose like that again.”

“Yeah, that will not be happening. Fuck that time was more then enough for me.” You tuck back into Steve’s side, shaking your head firmly and the Little Wolf mimicked the action.

Steve growled as well. “I'm seconding that, I’m bringing Y/N home, might never leave Pack Lands again.”

Shuri laughed, folding her arms. “Right, just like T’Challa thinks I’m never leaving.”

“Ha, you arent. I need my number one scientist here doing her work.” T’Challa strode in, nodding to the Wolves before arching a brow in surprise. “Starting late today?”

“Actually Brother, we’ve done it. Y/N Wolf is back and just as strong as ever.”

The King's expression widened, and he turned towards the two of them.

“That is fantastic news Y/N!” Taking your hand, he enclosed it in both of his before lifting your knuckles to brush his lips against them. “I suppose I should set you both up for transportation home?”

Steve looked down at you as he spoke. “Tomorrow morning perhaps? If Y/N is up for it, I would like to take her out for a run, if your offer still stands?”

T’Challa nodded with a smile. “Of course Alpha, I wish it was a full moon but you two can go anywhere within’ Wakandas borders.”

You couldn't help but feel excitement at the idea of a night run with Steve through Wakanda.

Resting the remainder of that day in your rooms, You and Steve were lazy lovers passing the time, mostly talking about how good it would be to be home, as well as how you both wanted to stay a bit longer. A light dinner, and then when night started to fall, you both made your way down to the palace entrance to find T’Challa and Shuri waiting, offering to show you two around a bit. Steve’s hand rubbed against your back, kissing your shoulder while whispering. “Are you up for this Little One?”

“More than you know Steve.” You stated while stepping away from Steve, shedding your clothing. The Alpha kept you blocked from anyone else while doing the same motions, and it was rather quick you had shifted into your Little Wolf, shaking your fur out and twisting to meet up with the Alpha, which he twined around you as well in greeting. His muzzle pressing against your ruff, and long swipes of a pink tongue cleaned your face, your ears, dragging down your neck while you nibbled back in his fur, rubbing against him momentarily. It was a joyful reunion for the Wolves as well as you and both of you started to play with one another until the two Panthers joined you with graceful fluid like bounds. They gave loud purrs as the two felines head butted each other and bright yellow eyes turned to the Wolves, flicking the tips of their tails, and rolling forward in the fluid way only cats can achieve. They ended up disappearing down the trail leading away from the palace, and the jungle started to come to life with the sound of monkeys giving out warning shrieks that the panthers were back in their domain.

Your ears were perked after them, and you pushed to leap forward, Steve following right behind as you ducked into the heavy jungle foliage.

Leaves slapped at the Alpha, making him growl and snap at the heavy foliage, missing the northern pine forests of home. But it started to thin, and he caught up to you as you slowed down, your head swiveling back and forth, inhaling for the panthers. Steve brushed up alongside of you, lifting his muzzle to locate the Panthers, when he caught sight of shadows moving in the jungle canopy. A loud roar made you tilt up as well, ear perked as the smaller of the two started dropping down till she came sailing through the air and landing lightly, she pawed gently at You, enticing you into a playful chase. You immediately sprinted for Steve’s side, and he settled in. Steve watched his Little Wolf and the Panther chase one another around vine covered trees and dart under giant leaves dripping water. First You would be on Shuris side, nipping at her shoulder when she would spin nimbly and tackle you till you raced with a quick burst, outpacing the Panther, back and forth you two twisted and turned to get away from the other.

T’Challa jumped down alongside Steve, kneading the ground before sinking down, flicking his tail back and forth, watching as well. The Alphas head moved back and forth, never breaking eye contact, and when the two of you faced off, you growled and Shuri roared back at you, testing each other.

It alarmed the Alpha, who moved to get up, and T’Challa beat him to it, giving his own sharp roar calling his sister back when he sensed the Alpha next to him getting uneasy. Shuri snarled back at him, headbutting You in a goodbye before leaping back up into the canopy. The King bowed his head to the Alpha before joining his sister. Leaving the two of you alone.

You sensed your Alphas unease at the moment, and you padded up to him, brushing up under his chin and nibbling at him to settle him back down. But he nudged at you, pushing you down the path you two had been exploring earlier, ready to keep you two moving. You both fell in an easy stride together this time as the jungle floor opened up, mossy and green. Everything seemed to cool off under the canopy, both the wolves comfortable. Little animals scattered, insects buzzing around with bright colors, that were a constant interest to you as you would snap at them and send them flying again to escape. Soon the Jungle gave way to tall grass, and the sound of animals surrounded you in the dark.

Keeping close to your Alpha, you both ran up on a herd of elephants, their long trunks reaching out as you both stretched your necks, sniffing at them before leaping away when they tried to touch you. When one stomped her foot in warning, Steve had enough, and steered you away from the herd. Weaving back and forth through the grass, you both skirted low to the ground past Rhinos grazing, lifting their heads to watch you both pass by. Neither of you wanted to feel the edge of that horn, so decided to give a wider circle around. Steve was sure to keep himself between You and the massive beasts. They came up on leaping gazelles racing away from them, and both of you couldnt help but give chase to these. You both gave up after a few minutes, the deer like creatures much faster than you two could ever be, even Sam and Pietro would have a hard time pacing along with them. Once it was apparent neither of you were continuing, they set back to grazing.

There was only one part of the run that turned Steve uneasy. They happened to stumble across a pack of Hyenas scavenging a carcass, and they all took interest in your unique scent. Their laughter echoing around the wolves in a menacing way. Steve nudged at you to lead you away from them when one skirted close to snap its jaws and push you two to back up. Steve turned on the pack of wild Hyenas, stepping over the carcass and started to descend on the two of you. Steve snarled deeply, the fur along his spine raising and his ruff bristling, turning his focus on the Hyenas Alpha Female as she stalked closer. Steve's fangs flashed in the dark, and his demands made her cower in surprise at the force coming from him. The rest of her pack stalling seeing their Alpha lower before him, to a male most of all. The laughter started to grow high pitched with unease at the situation. You ducked around the bristling Alpha, ears pinned back, rumbling back at her. The Hyena sensed they weren't just ordinary animals to be chased off. Wet dragging breaths overcame the scent of blood and decay from the carcass she had been feasting on, filling her lungs with ice cold sensations, unlike anything her kind had experienced before. They were similar to the Panthers that prowled their lands, except they weren't. Missing from the shifters was the muskiness of the jungle. Their scent was sharper, it stung her nose with a cold sensation. Even their bodies were not made for streaking across the sun soaked plains or traveling in heavy leaf cover. Too big, too much fur, muzzles long with fangs, yet not made to rip into thick animal hides like theirs was. They were just too different, and she didn't want to test what they would do to her. Shaking her head to clear their scent from her senses, she started sinking further back from the growling Alpha’s reach. Her laughing bark sent the wild hyenas scattering away, breaking their attack formation. Retreating back towards the carcass, once they fell back, she skirted away, out of Steve’s sight.

Once she was gone, you brushed against Steve to ease him back to you, and the two of you turned away from where the hyenas were cackling out of sight, fighting once more among themselves over the carcass they had claimed. You headed back towards the jungle, avoiding the rest of the plains occupants. Which Steve was relieved, another reason for them to return home. At home, the forests belonged to them. There were no worries in what was lurking out of sight. In Wakanda it was all different, they were not the beast at the very top. Deciding it was enough for you both tonight, when you gave a wide mouthed, fang flashing yawn, you both returned to the palace, and made it up to your room.

Once inside and the door closed, Steve backed you onto the bed, and settled over you, covering you in soft bites and whispered words pressed against your skin. “Are you tired Little One?” he let his tongue drag between your breasts while he lowered down your body slightly. Your hands roamed over his back, and rubbed the back of his neck while you arched into his mouth where he sucked a nipple into his warmth, lashing his tongue over the peak and then rolling you gently between his teeth.

You hummed in satisfaction, letting your body roll underneath his while you turned your gaze down at Steve loving on your breasts, his hand had the other covered, kneading it lightly and using his thumb to tease the tip till it hardened. “Not too tired Alpha.” you admitted and he lifted his head with a grin. Leaning up to kiss you deeply while using a hand to spread your thighs open, in which you curled your legs around his waist.

“That's good, cause I haven't stopped thinking about you wrapped around me like this all evening.” He said while he claimed you with a roll of his hips, filling you with him as his hands weaved with yours. It was soft and slow, taking his time to bring you to the point you were pleading softly against his shoulder for a release. Steve’s hand cupped the back of your head while kissing your temple, his hips starting to move faster in and out of you with a grunt of effort. It was quick when your pussy started to squeeze him and milk him, ready for his knot to lock you to him. Steve brought you to the point of howling his name and clutching yourself around him, clinging to him and not able to let go. You settled on his chest, and let the silence bring a sense of calm and peace over both of you. When you two finally fell asleep, you were sprawled over his chest and sated. There was no need for words to end the day together.

The dawn came to find you two still tangled around one another.

T’Challa, Shuri and the Queen all waited for the two of you, the jet ready to be boarded. It was a teary goodbye for you and Shuri, growing rather close to the young woman in your time here, Steve firmly shook T’Challas hand with a thank you and bowed to the Queen. You let your hand slide up Steves' back as he rose once more, and you let your head lower, a flash of the back of your neck showing her your respect.

“Thank you, everyone for your help. Should you ever need anything from us, please let us know. My Pack, and myself especially are indebted to you.” Steve said truthfully, and T’Challa smiled.

“I'm sure we will see each other again Alpha, Y/N, have a safe travel home. Steve, I'm sure you are familiar with flying?”

“Of course, we will have it sent back as soon as possible.”

“That is all I ask.”

Finishing with goodbyes, you both stepped on the jet. You couldn't help the look of awe that slid over your face while Steve immediately fell into the Pilots chair, while you buckled into the co pilots. You watched as he leaned forward to flick on switches and the engine hummed to life. “Ready for home Little One?” He asked as his hands settled on the steering column.

You wriggled in your seat and leaned in the window waving while speaking. “Absolutely, take us home Alpha.”

When Steve heard what he wanted to har, he shifted the column, and the jet started lifting off. You squealed a bit as your heart went into your throat, laughing at the sensation. Steve grinned over at your reaction, taking your hand while he pointed the jet in the direction needed, and let it speed up. The flight home was filled with you questioning the dash of the aircraft, and Steve doing his best to teach you how it all worked.

Of course T’Challa didn't send you all home empty handed, and once Steve landed the Jet just outside of the compound, and all the Pack came to greet Steve, you happened to stay inside a few more minutes. Exploring further, you happened to stumble on several crates in the back. “Steve? Come look at this.”

Ducking his head back in, Steve went to find you, and located you kneeling next to one of the crates, trying to find how it opened. Steve was quick to pry open a top, and it was just filled with different items Wakanda specialized in. “Hey Sam, get some people up here, we come bearing gifts.”

Fruity wine, dried food, clothing, weapons, if T’Challa could send it he did, and the rest of the afternoon was sorting through it together.

Finally that evening found you pouring a glass of the wine for Sara at the island in Steve’s kitchen, telling Sara and Sam all about Wakanda. Steve now and then piped up, filling in the time you were unconscious to the world.

Once the questions died down, you cleared your throat. “Has anyone heard from Bucky, Clint, Wanda, and Pietro?”

Sara sipped from her wine glass and shook her head, Sam at her side did the same motion. “Nothing yet. But Natasha was right out on their trail as soon as she got back. You know she wont stop till she finds something.”

Steve poured himself a taste of the wine, and handed it to you afterwards to finish off. “She will probably check in a few days, let us know what's going on.” Glancing at the time and then outside, he nipped at your shoulder. “Ready for the Full Moon Run Little One?”

You tipped your head back to drain the last swallow and set the glass down, hoping off the stool at the bar.

“Yup, we will see you two out there.” You said to Sam and Sara, who waved you two off to give you a chance to shift in private. Racing out the door, you leaped off the porch, twisting on your toes to watch Steve, who paused to shed his shirt, grinning to himself at your enthusiasm.

<We got lucky.> Your Little Wolf crooned, admiring the Alphas fit form as he started to stalk towards you, undoing his belt to slide out of the pants.

That we did.

You started to shed clothes, dancing just out of his reach till you started to run away, tossing your panties at him last before you fell into your wolf form, howling at him to hurry up. Steve made a show of inhaling against them before stuffing them in the back of his jeans pocket, quick to yank them off and toss them back towards his porch while you sprinted away, howling for him to come join you

Welcome Home indeed.

He shifted and paused at the tree line, his howl bursting through the night, signaling the start of the run, and he followed after You while you weaved among the trees, leading him deeper into their running grounds, back home where they belonged.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #shifter steve #alpha steve #werewolf steve #welcome to the pack #the pack #amber writes #sweater writes #marvel fanfic #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers au

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years ago

Text

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s��mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas!

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it��d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

517 notes · View notes

hayleygray08 · 4 years ago

Text

You are my home.

Introduction: this is my first writing on here. Bare with me.

Summary: you are a new member of the team after tony finds you in a hydra raid. You are shy, reserved, and not very talkative at first until you realize the team is not going to hurt you. Once comfortable you show them your powers and fall for a certain super soldier, again.

I used google translate for words in Russian, so if the words are wrong. I apologize.

In my writing, no one is dead.

Pairing: bucky x reader, everyone else is platonic.

Genre: fluff, anguish, mentions of torture, blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am crouched in the conner,on the floor of my cell waiting for the guards to come get me. My daily training. More like torture.

They make me train as hard as I can and if they think I am slaking, I get a few thousand jolts of electricity shot through my body. Or even a few punches.

Yesterday was one of the worst days so far, that I can remember. I was getting random images flash inside my head, almost from a past life from what I saw, which made me loose focus quite a bit. In return the men who watch me train were heavy with the electricity jolts and even harder punches, anywhere they could land on my body. So, I was not looking forward to today's training.

I don't have a clock or windows in my cell but I knew every time they would come to get me. Like my body knew the exact moment every day. So when that time came and I was still in my cell I was growing a little worry. They are never late, sometimes early, but never late. Just then a siren rang out and the lights dimmed then went red. Was that the alarm for an intruder? How is that possible?

As a million thoughts ran through my head at what could possibly cause the alarm to go off. A very vivid picture or memory came to me and played on repeat. It looked to be the 40's, on a dock or a pier, I was laughing and looking out at the water. There were two guys with me. One was small, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had a small smile on his face. The second was bigger then the first, had brown hair, bright blue eyes, and laughing with me. Why do they look familiar? Why do I have two names on the tip of my tongue? Who are they? Just as I was about to say those names my cell door was blown off and there was a cloud of dust.

As the dust settles and I can properly see, there is a man in a red and gold suit of metal. He walks towards me as he says "Cap we got someone here. She looks no older then 24, covered in bruises, and looks terrified.""Yes, I'll make sure to get her out.""No, I can't tell if she is dangerous." He sighs and crouches down so he can look me in the eyes.

"Hi, I am Tony Stark, and I am going to take you away from here." Tony says and offers me a hand. I take it cautiously and follow him out the door and eventually outside.

Once we made it outside I take a deep breath. It felt so good to get clean air. I don't even remember the last time I was outside. Must have been years. I had to shield my eyes, it was so bright out. I didnt notice more people joining us. I was to busy looking at my hands and arms. Was I always this pale? I look up at the guy who took me away, Tony, and then darkness.

Tony catches me before I could hit the floor and runs into the jet. He lays be on a table and Bruce starts an examination. Nobody dared bother him. Nat hands Tony a flash drive and sits back down with the others.

While I was unconscious and now in the medbay at the compound, I was getting more images. Some are to fast to register what it was and some stayed a good while showing me a life I do not remember, but wish I did. Also things I did, hurting people, a chair, and training. It was all to much. To much pain, suffering, lose. I could feel myself have a panic attack. Which alerted everyone.

I jolted up into a sitting position clenching my chest and taking big gasps of air. My heart monitor going off like crazy. I looked around frantically, not recognizing where I was. I tried to rip out the Iv's but a pinching sensation in my shoulder makes me stop. I look up and see a women, before I am unconscious again.

Meanwhile in the common area Tony, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Clint, Vision, Bucky, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Scott, and Peter all sat around looking at my file.

"Her name is y/n, y/ln. She was born in 1918, lived in Brooklyn, New York. Was taken by Hydra in 1946 while she was working on a S.H.I.E.L.D mission. Hasn't been seen since. Until about 2001 when she was spotted riding a motorcycle from a crime scene. Looked to be an assassination. Then again in 2003, 2005, 2007, 2012 and the last time in 2014. So the last time was 7 years ago. It shows she was trained like the winter soldier, but never met one another. But her powers got out of control and they have been training her to keep them in control since 2014. She has assassinated 6 men, 4 women, 2 children, and 1 hydra agent in a training gone wrong on that one." Tony reads outloud to everyone.

Steve and Bucky look at each other with a look in their eyes, as if they can't believe it. Then Tony brings up a picture of me for the group to see. Everyone gasps as a few photos show up. One is me, Steve, and Bucky at Coney Island. Then one of me and Bucky smiling at each other. Then there is one of me and Peggy Carter. Once all pictures are shown, all eyes are on Steve and Bucky.

"You know her?" Asked Natasha. Everyone silently asking the same thing.

"Yes, we know her. She was our friend. She grew up with us. She was our best friend. And a little more to Bucky." Steve answers quietly, looking at Bucky. It has been 78 years since he has seen her.

As they tell the others about me and what they remember, I am waking up again at the medbay. This time more calm. The nurses and doctors where asking me questions but I wouldn't answer them. They could tell they were not going to get anywhere with me, they called Tony and Bruce. I still would not talk to them.

How could I trust them? I don't even know them. For all I know they could be Hydra as well. With all these images popping up I don't even know what to believe anymore. Both men were throwing question after question at me. I didnt know how to answer. Or if I even should. Once they realized they were not going to get anywhere they left.

By the time I got the okay from the doctors, I was put inside a cell. Something I am all to familiar with. But this one was clean, had a comfortable bed, running water, and was warm. All the walls were glass and I could see people standing around watching me. Two I kinda recognized due to the images that I get. Each one would ask a question, each time I just stared ahead.

"We want to help you." A women with red and blonde hair spoke up after a few minutes of silence. I laughed.

"You want to help me? You don't even know me. How can you help me?" I responded quietly.

"Wanda has some powers and is able to look inside your head. Put the pieces together for you. Help you remember." The same women responded looking at another women with red hhai. I am guessing is Wanda.

"We read your file, y/n, let us help you remember the things they have taken from you." Tony says as he walks around. I don't respond, just look at everyone.

They gave up after 3 hours of silence from me and them asking questions. They leave me alone until a few days later. For those days they would bring me food, check to see if I am okay, then leave. It was Wanda, Tony, Bruce, and Steve that came a few days later. I watch them as they open the door to my cell and take a seat on a bench.

"If you are okay with this, we would like to try something. It does involve bringing back everything Hydra took from you. It might be painfull. But we think you should have the choice in remembering your life."Tony speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

Do I trust these people to try and help me? Do I even want the help? To remember all the pain I have caused and I life I will never get back.

I look at the four people in front of me and when I looked at the blonde man named Steve a memory came to me. It was just us two in a tent that looked to be on a base of some sort. He was the way he is now bigger then the other one I have seen. As if he grew or got on steroids. He was telling me about someone but it was fuzzy but I had this feeling of sadness.

I take a big breath in and look at them. "What do I have to lose? Not like I am going anywhere anytime soon." I tell them as I look at my hands.

I didnt see Tony nod at the door but did hear it open. I look up to see a young girl, with a different wardrobe then the others. She smiles kindly at me as she sits next to Wanda.

"Hi, my name is Shuri. I am from Wakanda and I can help you remember." I just stare at her.

"How long will this take?" I ask quietly.

"Depends on the damage they have caused for you to forget everything. Could be a few days, weeks, months. If you have trigger words. We will make.."

"Trigger words? What does that mean?" I interrupt her.

"Words that change you into a different person. Like they did witht he winter soldier. When we got the files from the base you were held in, shows you do have some." Tony says to me.

"Oh, so then I guess we should start this thing." I tell them. They did not expect me to say that.

They step out of my cell and start to say 6 words in Russian.

"девять- nine"

"машина-car"

"цветок-flower"

At this word I started to feel a crawling sensation run across my skin. I started to blink rapidly, my vision was getting foggy.

"слива-plum"

"банан-banana"

Now I'm rolling my shoulders, flexing my hands, shaking my head. That crawling sensation is getting thicker, heavier.

"рок-rock"

Once that last word was said I stand up, look at them with a blank expression, and cock my head to the side a little. "готов подчиниться- ready to comply."

They ready the words and I am me again. Well the shell of me that I know. I sit on the bed and take deep breaths. I did not like the feeling of having no control.

They watch me before they leave me alone for a little bit. I don't remember those words but it felt like my body did and it hurt badly.

As i sit and then pace and sit again for I don't know how long, everyone else is in the common area trying to figure out what to do next.

"Her words are different from Bucky's, why?" Same asks as they watch me in my cell.

"They made the words unique for that person. Hers are more girly because she is a girl and what she likes. They make it so only one person gets triggered and not all at once." Bucky says with a frown.

As they continue to talk and see the next step. I am going a little crazy in my cell. I started to throw everything that I could, I tried breaking the walls, the floor. I was screaming, crying, and bleeding. No one knew of my powers because it was not put in any files. So when I fall to my knees and scream everything shuts down and I pass out.

Once the lights were out, they were up and running to my cell. As people in the building were trying to get the power back on.

When they get to me I was laying on the floor and covered in some weird goo. That started right as I hit the floor. Bruce went to check if I was okay and when he tried to check my pulse he got shocked. He steps away and goes to the others.

"This is not in her file, didnt show if she had powers or not. Why would they do that?" Natasha says as the nurses come in hazmat suits.

"Because she is more dangerous then we thought." Steve says sadly.

*********

That is part 1. Possibly a part two.

#bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #the avengers #bucky barnes imagine #marvel

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

Text

Funeral

Hey y’all, here’s Chapter 12 of Playlist. Catch up on the story and read my other fics by checking out my masterlist HERE! Also, In a couple weeks I’ll be starting up “Ménage `a Trois”, a T’Challa x OC x M’Baku throuple fic. Check out the preview here!

CW: Smut (consensual non-consent, knife/claw play, cutting, blood play). Basically if edge play bothers you, don’t read the last scene except for the verrrry end. Child endangerment.

Word count: 10,313

The King and Queen of Wakanda, along with their newborn baby girl, stayed in the royal birthing chambers for the rest of the day so the midwife could keep an eye on mama and umntwana. T’Challa spent almost the entire time holding and talking to his daughter, only easily giving her up when it was time for her to eat.

“Challa, can I have my child please?”

“Our child,” he said as he carefully handed her off to her mother.

“I know that, do you?” she said with a look that made the king’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“O-of course, I just-”

“Shhhh, I’m kidding,” she chuckled before her face changed as Siyanda latched on for the second time since she’d been out in the real world.

“Does it hurt?”

“No it’s just...a weird feeling, but it’s good.”

T’Challa climbed in bed next to her and stroked her hair out of her face as she fed their daughter.

“I already want another.”

“Can my entire bottom half heal first, please?”

He chuckled and kissed her temple.

“I can be patient.”

Ashanti shot him another look and he changed his tune.

“When it comes to this, anyway,” he said with a smile.

When the princess was all fed and burped they felt it was finally time to let their loved ones in to see the new addition to the family.

Ramonda, Bisa, and Chidi came in first, each crying tears of joy over their baby’s baby. However, when it came time to hold her, T’Challa’s reaction surprised them all.

“I...I’m sorry, was that a growl?” Ashanti asked her husband, dumbfounded.

“...No.”

“Sounded like one to me,” Chidi said, cautiously stepping back from the bed.

“It’s just the herb in his system making him extra protective. Those panther instincts really kick into gear when you have a child,” Ramonda chimed in.

“Oh so is that why I barely get to touch my own baby?”

Ramonda nodded and reached for the baby, causing yet another deep rumbling in T’Challa’s chest.

“Down, boy,” Ashanti joked as she handed Siyanda to Ramonda and reached for her husband’s hand.

“How are you feeling intyatyambo?” Bisa asked, sitting on the bed next to her daughter.

“I’m tired and everything is sore, but I’m floating in the clouds everytime I look at her.”

“That feeling never goes away,” Ramonda chimed in as she looked down at her granddaughter. “You know, it’s too early to tell for sure, but she has N’Yami’s eyes, just like her baba.”

“That’s what T’Challa said!” she looked over to him as he followed Ramonda’s every movement with his eyes. Ashanti squeezed his hand and he broke his gaze. “Baby, stop. Nobody here is going to harm her.”

He lightly cleared his throat and nodded. Deep down, he knew that to be the case, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Ramonda walked over to Bisa and carefully placed Siyanda in her other grandma’s arms.

“Bast, she’s beautiful,” Chidi stood behind his wife and stared down at his granddaughter, too afraid to touch her out of fear that her father would rip his head off.

“Do you want to hold her?” Bisa asked him.

“That’s probably not such a good idea right now,” Ramonda noticed how T’Challa reacted everytime Chidi got close. T’Chaka had done the same thing. He had been wary of anyone touching Shuri, but other men brought out the predator in him and his territorial nature flared. It calmed down after a while, but it was the worst when she was a newborn. “In fact, I’m not sure if Daka can even come into the room.”

“Why is that?” Ashanti asked.

“Look at how he is with a normal man. We’ve never had two panthers at the same time, so I could be wrong, but I would give it a couple weeks for him to calm down...just in case.”

Ashanti nodded and kissed her husband’s cheek, his eyes still glued to their baby girl.

“I’ll go bring in Shuri and Kwame,” Chidi offered before heading out the door, a little hurt he couldn’t hold his granddaughter.

Ashanti lightly slapped T’Challa’s chest, “You hurt his feelings.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it.”

“Try closing your eyes or something.”

“I’d still hear it.”

“Not with my headphones! I’ll be back,” Shuri had barely made it in the room when she ran back out, and when Kwame entered he went straight to his best friend and pulled her in for a hug.

“I can’t believe you’re a mama now! Where is the little bundle of joy?” he looked around before his eyes landed on Bisa rocking her granddaughter in the corner.

“If you want to hold her I’d suggest waiting a couple weeks, baba might attack you,” Chidi complained from the doorway.

“No worries, I don't like holding them when they’re fresh out anyway. Too delicate.”

Just then, Shuri returned with her headphones and T’Challa tentatively placed them on, turning around to look out the window as a distraction, still holding Ashanti’s hand and bouncing his leg from the anxiety of not being able to know what's going on with his baby girl.

“Ok, now try, baby,” Bisa said, handing Siyanda off to her umakhulu.

“She looks just like you did when you were born,” Chidi added, walking closer to Kwame so he could see her cute little face.

“Awwww she really is cute!”

Everyone laughed as Chidi passed Siyanda to her auntie, but it was quickly cut short when everyone noticed the look of complete adoration on the older princess’ face.

“She...she’s beautiful.”

She stared at her little nose and her little round cheeks and swore to herself that she would protect her niece with her life.

There was a light knocking and everyone looked up to see the prince, never really one to follow directions, standing in the doorway.

“Stay there, don’t come in,” Ramonda warned.

“So I don't get to see my baby cousin?” he pouted.

Shuri looked at her brother, still turned towards the window and unaware of what was happening, then to Ashanti and Ramonda. Ashanti nodded and Ramonda let out a deep breath before doing the same. Shuri walked over to N’Jadaka and placed her in his arms after taking one last look at her distracted brother.

“Wow...she’s so tiny.” he played with her little fingers as she looked up at him. T’Challa shifted and they quickly but carefully placed the baby back in Shuri’s arms. N’Jadaka stayed in the doorway as Ashanti reached to take the noise-cancelling headphones off her overprotective husband.

Shuri placed her niece in her baba’s arms and T’Challa’s tension melted away.

“I apologize, I don’t know how to control it yet,” the king said softly while staring at his greatest creation.

“You’ll get there,” Ashanti placed her head on his shoulder and he smiled, kissing her temple.

Just then, Binta and Ramla entered to check on mama and baby so the family left to give them some space. After Ramla made sure everything was safe, she allowed the new little family to return to their quarters to start their new life together.

--------

Princess Siyanda was a very sensitive and reserved child. As an infant, she only wanted her parents and would cry whenever anyone else held her. It took her a few months to warm up to the rest of the family, but she eventually got there and they were able to step in and help take care of her.

As she grew, she continued to be a shy baby. During her crowning after her first birthday, it was almost impossible to get her to stop crying, seemingly overwhelmed by all the attention. After a few more months, the princess started to come out of her shell a little bit, but she was still very cautious around new people and people she wasn’t fond of.

Siyanda was also a quiet child, and she didn’t speak until she was almost two. Now, at three years old, Princess Siyanda was the chattiest little thing to people she deemed worthy, but still very silent in the presence of those she didn’t like. Like Mala and Ode, for example. Siyanda had been coming to council meetings since she was an infant, sitting in one of her parent’s laps as they ruled the kingdom, and even then she grew anxious when the Merchant and Mining tribe elders approached her. Now she would hide behind whatever family member was closest. It had started to become bothersome to the two elders who felt disrespected by the child’s behavior, which only fueled their already deep disdain for her and her common mother.

Ashanti and T’Challa were head over heels for their temperamental little girl, so when they found out the reason for her actions they were floored that they had missed the signs.

It all started with a headache that just wouldn’t go away.

“Mama? Baba?” came a little voice from outside their door, prompting T’Challa, who was a much lighter sleeper than his wife, to get up and let in his baby girl.

When he opened the door she squinted up at him and looked as though she were seeing him for the first time. She burst into tears as her baba crouched down to scoop her up, but she wiggled out of his arms.

“What is it, sithandwa?”

By this point, Ashanti had made her way over to the doorway and stood behind her husband as he tried to calm their daughter down. Siyanda’s tears subsided for just long enough for her to speak, “My head hurts. You’re too bright.”

“What do you mean bright, baby?” Ashanti crouched down to Siyanda’s level with T’Challa, hoping to stop her baby girl from crying.

“My head hurts, and it woke me up. You’re too bright.”

“Who, baby?”

“Both of you.”

T’Challa and Ashanti looked to each other in confusion before turning back to their daughter.

“Close your eyes, baby girl,” Ashanti said as she reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her into a hug.

“Now, tell us, how are we too bright?” he rubbed her back in slow circles to calm her down, but it didn’t seem to be working.

“There’s colors around you and-and it hurts my eyes,” the little princess huffed out between sobs.

“Colors?”

“Mhm.”

The two parents were perplexed as they turned to each other with their eyebrows furrowed yet again, both unsure of what they were hearing.

“Why don’t you come to bed with mama? Baba will make you some tea to help you sleep, ok?”

“Ok mama.”

“Keep your eyes closed, baby.”

Ashanti carried Siyanda to the bed while T’Challa disappeared to the kitchen to make a quick cup of tea. The princess kept her eyes closed as her mama sang her favorite lullaby and played in her soft curls that she got from her baba. Slight whimpers left her lips as a dull aching throbbed in her head, but she preferred it to the stabbing pain of the bright colors.

T’Challa returned and he set the tea down to cool before crawling into bed with his two favorite girls. “Tell us what you see, sithandwa.”

She sniffled as Ashanti wiped the tears coming from her eyes and T’Challa held her little hands in his. She tried her best to explain to them the bright purple and yellow light radiating from around them that they couldn’t see, but they just couldn’t wrap their heads around her words.

“How about we go see Umakazi Shuri tomorrow?”

“Ok baba.”

Ashanti helped Siyanda drink the tea with her eyes closed and eventually she drifted off to a fretful sleep, tossing and turning between her parents all night. They desperately needed to talk about the situation so they texted on their beads so as not to wake their sleeping child up.

A: It sounds like she’s seeing auras.

T: Isn’t she too young for that kind of thing? A: I always thought mutations kicked in at puberty.

T: They normally do.

A: Maybe it’s not a mutation?

T: I don’t know what else it could be.

A: Me either, but I’m worried about her.

T: Me too, Kitten.

They both gazed at their sleeping daughter’s not quite so peaceful form as she slept, neither one of them getting much sleep of their own that night.

The king, queen, and both princesses were missing from breakfast the next day, leaving Ramonda and N’Jadaka to dine alone. Siyanda found that she could open her eyes as long as she didn’t look at anybody, but that proved to be a harder task than she expected so she just kept her eyes closed behind sunglasses the whole way.

As they entered Shuri’s lab, she immediately sensed something was wrong with the usually much more excited princess.

“Yaya! What’s up?” she picked up her favorite niece and spun her around, surprised by the lack of giggles. “Ok something is wrong, talk to me.”

T’Challa cleared his throat, “We think she is seeing auras.”

“She has powers?!”

“Well that’s what we want you to help us find out,” Ashanti added.

“Sure thing, it’ll only take a second,” she set Siyanda down on the table before putting a painless blood collection device over her arm and distracting her while the machine drew her blood.

Shuri connected the device to her computer and the results appeared on the screen. After combing through the data, Shuri felt almost ready to make her declaration.

“I’ll need to run some more tests, if you don’t mind.”

Ashanti grabbed T’Challa’s hand and he looked down at her concerned face.

“Challa, I don’t want her to feel like we’re experimenting on her.”

“She won’t, I promise. I’ll do it with her.”

Ashanti nodded and the four of them spent the whole morning in Shuri’s lab. It turned out that Siyanda could in fact see auras and she had most likely been empathic since she was an infant.

The adults watched her play with fake gauntlets Shuri made just for her as they spoke in hushed tones.

“So that’s why she’s picky about who she lets near her?”

“Looks like it,” Shuri swiped through the screen until she came across a picture of a brain. “You see here? This is my brain.”

Ashanti and T’Challa watched the synapses fire and light up the screen.

“And this is ubhuti’s brain,” She pulled up another projection, this one with even more synapses lighting up the screen. “The heart shaped herb altered his brain so that he could have heightened senses and panther instincts, so that’s why he’s got more going on up there...I’m still smarter.”

T’Challa rolled his eyes as Ashanti grinned at her sister-in-law.

“But this...this is Yaya’s brain.”

All three adults stood in awe as they watched parts of her brain spark in ways they hadn’t ever witnessed before.

“What is that?”

“That’s her visual, emotional, and sensory centers firing off. Now look at this scan from when I had her look at T’Challa.”

“Bast…”

“Is she...this won’t keep hurting her will it? She has a headache and it gets worse when she looks at us, I don't want her to-”

“My love,” he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

“Sorry, right.” Ashanti took a breath, “Ok so what now?”

“I’m thinking: glasses.”

“Wh...glasses?”

“Yes, if I can filter out at least some of the light it’ll be more manageable for her. She’ll probably grow out of the headaches when her body gets used to her new power.”

“What if she develops more powers? Can you tell ahead of time?” T’Challa asked his little sister.

“Not unless she’s hooked up to machines when it happens.”

“So you for sure found the mutation in her genes?” Ashanti chimed in.

“Yep!” She swiped across the screen and brought up a swirling double helix before typing in a code and pulling up the exact genome. “Here it is, the X-gene.”

Ashanti’s mouth was wide open as she released her husband’s hand and stepped towards the screen, taking it all in. Her mind raced all over the place. She knew these things usually came from the mother, but as far as she knew there were no mutants in her family. She’d have to talk to her parents, and soon.

Despite her confusion and fear for her child’s safety Ashanti couldn't help the slow smile creeping up her face as she turned back to T’Challa.

“Our baby has superpowers!”

--------

“Umakhulu!”

“There’s my grandbaby!” Chidi swooped Siyanda off the ground as she giggled, but he paused when he noticed something was a little different. “What’s with the goggles?”

“Auntie Shuri made them for me because people were too bright.”

Chidi looked at Ashanti in total confusion and she waved him off.

“Yeah, I’ll get to that in a little bit. Where’s mama?”

“She should be back from closing the restaurant any time now. You know, I’m surprised you have her up this late...is everything ok at home?”

“Yes baba, T’Challa would’ve come but he got called into a meeting with the Avengers.”

“Your baba is such a busy superhero,” Chidi whispered to his granddaughter, making her giggle right as Bisa opened the door, saying hello to the Dora Milaje stationed outside.

“Well hello you two!” Bisa kissed everyone’s forehead and sat down next to her husband just in time for Siyanda to crawl into her lap and make herself comfortable. “Where’s my son in law? Somewhere getting on your nerves?”

Ashanti chuckled, “Not today mama, he’s working. Actually I’m here about Yaya...and her glasses.”

“Yeah, what’s up with these? They make her look so old.”

“They do, but she needs them until Shuri can come up with a better idea,” Ashanti took a breath, “Mama, baba...she’s an empath...a mutant.”

“What’s a mutant, mama?”

Ashanti took in her parents’ shocked faces before looking down to her child.

“A mutant is a person with special gifts.”

“Gifts?”

“Mhm, like how baba and Daka can run really fast.”

Siyanda nodded and went back to playing with Bisa’s bracelets, shaking her out of her daze.

“You said she’s an empath, what does that mean?”

“She can see auras and feel people’s energy. Shuri thinks when she’s older she might be able to feel peoples’ emotions, but we can’t know for sure yet.”

“What colors does she see around us?”

“Yaya?”

The toddler looked up from her grandma’s beaded wrists and her big brown eyes landed on her mother. Ashanti couldn’t help but smile down at her cherubic face. Siyanda was her little twin, she looked and acted just like her mama, right down to wearing her emotions on her face.

“What is it baby?”

“You don’t see the colors?”

“No, that’s your gift, not mine.”

“It’s pretty, mama. You’re yellow and baba is purple. And when you’re together it swirls.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” she turned to her grandparents, “And you’re green and blue mixed together.”

“What do the colors mean, intyatyambo?” Bisa asked, her eyes wide with wonder at her granddaughter's gift from Bast.

Siyanda shrugged, taking in the swirling colors around them with a smile on her face.

“So what are the glasses for exactly?” Chidi asked. Much like his daughter and granddaughter, Chidi wore his emotions on his face and his bewilderment was still very obvious.

“The colors are really bright and they hurt her head, so Shuri figured out how to filter out the light so she can still see them without it hurting. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it.”

“Auntie Shuri said I’m a superhero like baba!” The princess jumped up and started play-fighting with her granddad, who then chased her around the living room and into the backyard.

“Those two,” Bisa chuckled, shaking her head before turning serious. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m ok as long as she’s ok. I’m just confused on where it came from. Does anyone else in our family have powers?”

“Well that depends on who you ask...the women in my family have been gifted for centuries, but it was mostly through dream work and divination, not as empaths. Though I’m not really sure what the difference is between a gift from Bast and a mutation.”

“I don’t think there is one.”

“Me neither.”

The mother and daughter sat in silence for a moment before Siyanda’s screeching laughter rang out as Chidi chased her back into the room. Ashanti scooped her up into her lap when Chidi plopped down on the couch, resting his head on his wife’s shoulder.

“I'm too old for this.”

Siyanda nodded and Chidi’s hurt face sent Ashanti and Bisa into a laughing fit. After they came back down to earth Ashanti felt her stomach growl and invited her parents to come back to the palace for dinner.

The four of them arrived just before everyone else and took their seats as the rest of their small party filed in. All except for the king, that is.

“Where is my son?” Ramonda asked.

“Yeah, where’s baba?”

Ashanti sighed and pushed back from the table, kissing her daughter’s head before sauntering out the room and down the hall towards the business side of the palace. When she reached his office she didn’t even bother knocking before she swung the doors open.

“T’Challa.”

He looked away from the documents on his screen, his tired eyes filling with worry as he took in her tone. She almost never said his whole name, so he knew he was in for it.

“Is something wrong, my love?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s dinnertime. Let’s go,” she turned to usher him out of the room, but he didn’t move.

“Kitten, I have work to do. We spent half the day in Shuri’s lab and then I spent the rest dealing with the Avengers-”

“You have to eat, don’t you?”

“Yes, I was going to have it brought to me.”

Ashanti crossed the room and rolled his chair back from the desk, sitting sideways in his lap.

“Your eyes look tired baby, give them a break from all the screens. Mama and baba are here...Yaya misses you...I miss you,” she pouted.

“I know what you’re doing-”

She placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m not doing anything,” she said before kissing his cheek, then his jawline. Her lips trailed to his Adam's apple and back up to his earlobe before whispering in his ear.

“I miss you, Kumkani.”

“I’m not doing anything,” he mocked, making his wife giggle. The king let out a sigh as Ashanti kissed up and down the column of his neck. He had already made up his mind about going to dinner, but he was also very willing to see how far she’d take her seduction.

Ashanti moved in his lap to straddle him and they connected in a passionate liplock, her hips grinding slowly into his. He let her have her fun before he stood and placed her on his desk, reaching his hand up the leg of her flowy printed shorts until he made it to his destination between her thighs. She moaned as his fingers grazed her clit, slowly stroking it through her underwear.

“You come in here and distract me.” He pushed her panties to the side and ran his bare fingers up and down her juicy slit, “All you had to do was say please.”

“Please kumkani,” she begged as he continued to tease her lips and his fingers slowly made their way deep inside her. He held her gaze as he fingered her slowly.

Ashanti wanted more, she needed more.

“Fuck me.”

“What was that? A little louder.”

“Fuck. Me.”

“You are giving orders now?”

“Please baby.”

“That’s better,” he said with a salacious smirk resting lopsided on his chiseled face. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his dick so she could feel how hard he was. “You think I don’t miss you too, my love? I miss your taste-”

He planted a sloppy open-mouthed kiss on her lips.

“-your smell-”

His head nuzzled into her neck and he took a deep breath, letting out a moan as he exhaled.

“-How you feel around my dick when I’m inside you.” He had her pussy hanging out the leg of her shorts, exposed to the elements as he stroked her clit and looked into her eyes as he spoke. The next thing she knew she was filled with her husband. His hips snapped into hers and his hands found their way to her hair, grabbing a handful of her curly faux locs and pulling her head back. He licked and nibbled on her throat as he buried himself in her and all she could see was stars.

It had been about a week since the King and Queen of Wakanda had been able to have any alone time, and they were both at their limit. They were used to going long stretches without any physical contact when he was away on missions, but when they were together they could barely keep their hands off each other. A week was way too long.

Her legs tried to wrap around him, but he was in no mood for that soft and sweet shit. He wanted to tear her to pieces and she wanted him to do it.

Ashanti’s eyes rolled back in her head and she felt the tension rise inside her as his thumb circled her clit. Her body melted into the desk and she struggled to stay up on her elbows as he leaned over her, teasing her.

“You miss me?”

“Y-yes Kumkani.”

“What do you miss?” He loved teasing her, especially when he knew she could barely speak.

“Mmm fuck. I...I miss your hands on me.”

He slowed his strokes and his large hands made their way up and down her body. His left hand found it’s home at the dip of her hip, gripping her tight. His right hand rested just below her throat as a tease, refusing to squeeze her the way she wanted.

“What else?” he slowly dragged his tip along her g-spot and a shudder went through her body.

“Your lips.”

He trailed kisses on every inch of her body he could reach, ending on her chest. His tongue brushed across each nipple as he french kissed her breasts, pulling each bud into his mouth and nibbling softly as she moaned in his ear. His hips kept a slow and steady pace until he released her from his mouth and dug deep inside her.

“Kumkani!”

“Mhm, what else do you miss?” T’Challa’s hands gripped her hips tight as he leaned over her and pulled her into him to meet each stroke. Her hips grinded up into his until he pushed her legs back further, damn near folding her in half and laying his weight on her as his hips rolled his dick deeper inside her.

“This. I miss this.”

“I bet you do, Kitten,” he chuckled before slowing down his strokes and kissing her softly. “I miss this too.”

Their tongues danced against each other as her body tightened and released around him, coating him in her juices.

“Where do you want it?” He couldn’t hold on any longer and desperately needed this release.

“Right there, baby,” Ashanti cooed as she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him in tight. The tension in his body rose to an alltime high and the vein in his forehead threatened to pop before his body jerked and he stilled inside her.

The two of them laughed as they untangled themselves and came back down to reality.

“You think they know?” Ashanti asked as she straightened his tunic. He twirled her around and was surprised there was no visible wet spot.

“We got lucky this time. You’re going to have to start keeping a change of clothes in here,” he slapped her ass just to watch it jiggle.

“Challa!”

“I’m sorry, let me kiss it-” he grabbed her and started kissing down her neck again as he firmly gripped her ass.

“No, we have to go,” she giggled as she struggled to get out of his grasp. “We can get back to this later.”

“But I want it now, you started it,” he whined and bit into her neck. “Let’s skip dinner.”

“Challa, I invited my parents.”

He visibly deflated and let out a deep sigh. He loved his in-laws, but he would much rather be blowing Ashanti’s back out in their quarters. He released her from his arms with a roll of his eyes and tried his best not to pout as she pulled him out the door, but his sad face was quickly replaced by one of great amusement as he watched his wife limp down the hallway.

Later that night, T’Challa was called to an emergency mission with the Avengers and was gone for a whole month.

--------

Ashanti had passed her creative genes right on down to her daughter. The little princess loved to draw and regularly surprised her parents with colorful portraits of the people in her life. They loved seeing the world through her eyes and kept every picture, even when the subject was unrecognizable. Their favorite was a picture she drew of the whole family holding hands, each one of them glowing in their different colors. N’Jadaka was red, full of passion and strength, and Shuri’s ambition came through as a vivid orange color. Ramonda was surrounded by a peaceful cloud of light blue and the bold blues and healing greens of Chidi and Bisa’s auras swirled together in perfect harmony. She even drew pictures of her favorite aunts and uncles, capturing how M’Baku’s red aura danced around Shani’s pink glow. The twins were a bright yellow with tinges of purple and blue, Okoye’s aura was the same fiery red she wore as armor, and the blue light emanating around Zina contrasted beautifully with the pink surrounding Jafari.

Siyanda’s drawings were always so bright and colorful, until one day she surprised her mother with a much darker piece of art.

“Who’s that, baby?” Ashanti asked with concern as she looked over her daughter’s shoulder. She was drawing a dark cloud of putrid greens and browns around a group of blacked-out people.

“I don’t know. I saw it in my dream.”

“Was it a bad dream?”

Siyanda nodded as she continued to focus on her dark masterpiece.

“Tell me about it.”

“I just saw the people.”

“These people?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you know who they are?”

“No, mama, they’re just the people.”

“Did they do something in your dream?”

“They were just there. It was scary.” She reached for the black crayon and scribbled around the perimeter of the peoples’ collective aura, encasing it all in the darkness.

That night, when Ashanti’s beads trilled with T’Challa’s special tone she quickly pressed her communication bead, prompting her husband’s figure to rest in the palm of her hand.

“Something’s wrong,” she said before he could even speak.

“What is it?”

“It’s Yaya...she drew this.”

Ashanti held up the wild crayon drawing and T’Challa’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Who is that supposed to be?”

“I don’t know, she just kept calling them ‘the people’. She saw it in her dream, Challa.”

“Her dream?”

Ashanti nodded, “I don’t think that’s ever happened before.”

“And she never uses dark colors like that, not even for an outline...what happened in her dream?”

“Nothing. She just saw this...she said it was scary.”

T’Challa was quiet for a while, wheels turning in his head.

“And these ‘people’ aren’t anyone she knows?”

“Nope. I’m worried about her, what if this is some sort of premonition? I told you what mama said about the women in our family.”

“Kitten, if it’s a premonition I think we should all be worried. It doesn’t look good.”

“No it doesn’t...when are you coming home?”

“I’m cutting it short, I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Don’t they need you?”

“Probably, but I am needed even more elsewhere.”

The next morning, a very sleepy Siyanda waited for her baba on the tarmac with her family. Shuri held her on her hip as she rested her head on her shoulder, but the second the Talon came into view she perked right up and jumped down from her auntie’s arms. She tried to take off towards the ship, but Ashanti grabbed her arm before she could go anywhere.

“Not yet, baby. Wait until the doors open.”

“Ok mama.”

Her little leg bounced in anticipation and the second the doors opened and Ashanti gave her a nod, she took off towards the ship, running almost as fast as her Baba, when she noticed he wasn’t alone.

“Daka!” She tackled her big cousin and he “fell” to the ground.

“You’re getting strong, Punkin!”

She giggled as he tickled her until a throat clearing stopped them both.

“No love for me?”

She sprung from the ground and into T’Challa’s arms, leaving a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“I missed you, baba!”

“Not as much as you missed him,” he pretended to be upset.

“It’s been longer since I saw Daka, baba.”

“It’s ok to say you missed me more. Don’t let him pressure you,” N’Jadaka said with a wink.

Siyanda giggled as the three of them disembarked the Talon and the returning Udakus were greeted by their family.

After a month apart, T’Challa and Ashanti were relieved to be back in each other’s arms. They held each other for a moment before going in for a kiss. They tried their best to keep their hands to themselves, but their kiss turned heated until Ramonda cleared her throat and Ashanti looked up to see Shuri shielding Siyanda’s eyes.

“Sorry, it’s been a while,” Ashanti hid her face while her husband laughed and pulled her in for another kiss.

“Eewwwwww,” the littlest princess was disgusted by her parents’ display, prompting Shuri and N’Jadaka to join her in her protests.

“Yeah, ewwww.”

“Mmhm, y’all nasty.”

“Alright, alright, damn. I can’t love on my husband?”

Siyanda shook her head.

“And why not?”

“Because it’s gross!”

T’Challa chuckled and scooped her up, placing her on his shoulders as they walked back into the palace. “You just keep thinking that for the next twenty years.”

“Make it thirty,” N’Jadaka chimed in from behind them.

“How about forty? Fifty, just to be safe?”

“Sounds good to me, man.”

“Stop it, you two,” Ramonda slapped the back of her nephew’s head at the same time her son received a deadly glare from his wife.

“Ow, ok. Twenty it is.” N’Jadaka laughed as he dodged his auntie’s hand, sending a wink to his big cousin who was trying very hard to not look down at Ashanti.

“So, what have I missed, little one?” T’Challa asked his daughter.

“I rode a rhino!”

“You did?!”

“Mhm. Mama almost didn’t let me, but Auntie Okoye talked her into it.”

“Well thank Bast for Auntie Okoye,” he sent his friend and protector a smile.

“Anything for our princess,” Okoye said, trying to keep a straight face since she was on duty.

“Anything?” Siyanda’s eyes were filled with wonder as her mind raced through the possibilities.

“Anything within reason,” Ashanti interjected before she got too carried away, booping her on her nose as they continued down the hallway to the living quarters.

--------

“Your highnesses, there is a rebel faction within our borders,” explained T’San, the River tribe elder. He had asked for a private audience with the king and queen to discuss sensitive matters, and they were intrigued when he said it was something he didn’t want to announce in front of the council.

“What proof do you have?”

T’San nodded to the guards stationed at the door and they opened it to reveal two River tribe warriors with a very angry looking woman between them.

“Let me go!” she struggled to get out of their grasp, but they held tight as they walked her into the throne room.

“Thetha,” Ashanti ordered. The woman stared at her in contempt and remained silent.

“Your queen commanded you to speak. Now speak.”

“She is not my queen,” the woman spat, eyes narrowing at Ashanti, who shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She could almost feel T’Challa’s blood pressure rising.

“She is and you will respect her. Ungubani?”

The woman remained silent until the River tribe warriors squeezed her arm tighter.

“Ouch! Ok, damn. My name is Iniko, your highnesses,” she said sarcastically as she gave them a weak Wakandan salute.

“Enough of your disrespect-”

“T’San, thank you,” T’Challa cut him off, standing and slowly walking towards Iniko. “Tell me, what is it you want?”

“We want a real queen, not some common whore.”

“That is enough! Take her to the holding cells, I will deal with her later.”

The palace guards collected her from the warriors and she thrashed in their arms as they led her out of the room.

“You’ll never stop The People!”

Ashanti and T’Challa made eye contact right as the doors closed. He made his way back to his throne and sat down, taking the queen’s hand in his.

“My sincerest apologies, my queen, my king.”

“Thank you T’San. How many more are there?” Ashanti asked, still a little shaken up from what she just heard.

“She is the only one we have found so far, my queen. My warriors are questioning her friends and family as we speak”

“Good. Keep us updated on what you find, and T’San?”

“Yes, my king?”

“Don’t breathe a word of this to other council members, I will address it in our meeting.”

The elder bowed his head in understanding.

“Anything else, T’San?”

“No, my queen, that is all.”

“Well, the king and I would like to thank you for your service to Wakanda.”

“It is my honor,” he saluted them and left with his warriors in tow.

As soon as the doors closed behind him Ashanti hopped up from the throne.

“She saw them in her dream, Challa.”

“I know…”

“This isn’t good.”

“I know…” He was in a daze. Not only was there a rebel faction out to get his wife, but his daughter was certainly having premonitions.

“Yaya has another power.”

“I know…”

Ashanti turned to look at him slumped down in the throne with his head resting on his hands. She went and sat across his lap, burying her face in his neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes before T’Challa shifted to check the time.

“It’s time to make our rounds, love.”

Ashanti sighed and got up, shuffling towards the door with her husband on her heels. They made their way to Ramonda’s vegetable garden to find her and the littlest princess digging around in the dirt, harvesting yams. Siyanda looked up and excitedly ran to her parents.

“Can we go see the rhinos now?”

“In a little bit,” Ashanti chuckled. “Let’s get you cleaned up first.”

“Mama, these look delicious.”

“They do,” she said proudly. “We’ll find out for sure at dinner.”

“I’m already hungry, let’s go before I bite into one of these things raw.” Ashanti said just before her stomach growled. “Zana Cafe for lunch?”

“Yes!” Siyanda was always excited to see her grandparents.

“We had better get going. See you later, mama,” he kissed her cheek.

“Don’t be late for dinner, I can’t promise N’Jadaka won’t eat all the yams again.”

“Oh we’ll be there, and tell him I’m not above fighting him over food,” Ashanti said with a serious look on her face as they walked away. Ramonda chuckled and went right back to tending to her garden.

T’Challa always loved making the rounds to the different tribes, but this time he was on high alert, as were the Dora Milaje that guarded the family of three. Siyanda had inherited her baba’s love of interacting with the tribes, and while her parents took care of the business side of things, she got to play with kids all over Wakanda. They’d swim in the river, play hide and seek, ride rhinos, and sled down bunny slopes. Naturally, she liked visiting the Jabari and Merchant tribes the best because she got to see some of her favorite people in the world.

Siyanda loved her big cousin M’Bari and followed the nine year old everywhere, but she really loved her uncle M’Baku. He always joked that she was his second child, even as his actual second child was still baking in the oven. It didn’t help that “Siyanda” was his suggestion.

“You know, I am the one that named you,” he told the little princess as she threw a snowball at him before hiding behind M’Bari.

“Really?”

“Yes, your parents could not figure out what to call you, but your Umalume M’Baku knew.”

Shani and T’Challa rolled their eyes as Ashanti chuckled.

“He brings that up at least twice a week,” Shani deadpanned as they watched M’Bari show Siyanda how to make the perfect snowball.

Getting Siyanda to leave Jabari land was like pulling teeth. She loved it up there and if Shani and M’Baku had anything to say about it, she could stay as long as she wanted to, but the royal family still had to visit Ashanti’s tribe. They said their goodbyes and Siyanda pouted most of the way down the mountain until T’Challa leaned in and started tickling her, making her frown go away.

They walked through the bazaar hand in hand, with Siyanda in the middle between her two parents. They spoke to passersby as they made their way to the center of all the hustle and bustle. Before settling in at the Cafe, Ashanti decided to stop by Taj’s, which was now completely run by Zina and Jafari.

“My queen!” Zina shouted when she saw Ashanti, almost knocking her over in a hug. Jafari poked his head out the back and smiled at the scene.

“Your majesty,” he bowed sarcastically, making Ashanti roll her eyes and pull him in for a hug.

“Stop that.”

“Where’s the rest of the family?” Zina asked, looking behind her for the princess.

“Across the way, stuffing their faces. Come eat with us.”

The three of them closed the shop down and joined the Mostafa-Udaku clan for lunch. Chidi and Bisa were already seated on either side of Siyanda and Ashanti took her place between her mama and husband, across the table from her friends and former employees. The seven of them chatted for what felt like hours before the princess let out a yawn.

“Nap time?” Bisa asked the king and queen.

“A little bit past it, actually. We should go before she starts getting cranky,” T’Challa responded, already standing from his seat.

The royal family said their goodbyes and returned to the palace so Siyanda could take her midday nap. While she slept, her parents figured they could get into some grown-up fun, but just as things were heating up both of their beads trilled.

Iniko was dead.

--------

Another week passed with no leads on Iniko’s death or on The People. T’Challa spent almost every waking hour pouring over evidence that led to a brick wall every time. He decided to call in the only reinforcements he knew he could trust, and as usual they answered.

Steve, Bucky, and Nakia appeared as holograms in the middle of the room as T’Challa explained the situation to them. N’Jadaka leaned against the door and M’Baku took up most of the couch, both listening intently as the king spoke.

“All my leads are coming up short, so I’m opening the floor to suggestions.”

“I could always go undercover. It won’t be hard for people to believe I turned my back on you,” N’Jadaka suggested.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Ashanti chimed in from T’Challa’s desk chair. He nodded slowly, wheels turning in his head.

“Let’s keep that in our pocket for now. Convincing Wakandans to accept you took too much time, I don’t want to impede that progress.”

“I will see what I can get from my contacts,” said Nakia, already typing away.

“What is it they want again?” Bucky asked.

“This ‘common whore’ off the throne.”

T’Challa bristled as she said the words again and everyone grew silent.

“Do they have a replacement already in mind?”

“We don’t know, we don’t even know how they communicate, where they meet, who’s in charge...nothing. Yet,” Ashanti tried to remain hopeful.

T’Challa let out a sigh and leaned back onto his desk.

“Maybe it’s time to let the council know-”

“The only one I trust other than M’Baku is T’San. He’s the only one of them who respected her before her title.”

“That’s good though,” Steve chimed in, making everybody turn to him, confusion written on their faces. “You already know some of them are untrustworthy, so pluck 'em one by one and see who squeals. One of them is bound to know something.”

“How did ole girl die, again?” The prince asked for clarification.

“Cyanide.”

“Damn, that’s too easy to get your hands on. Did Lil Bit track where it came from?”

“Ground up apple seeds.”

“Ok so we know they’re DIY-ing it, which means they probably don’t have the resources to do anything big yet. I’d say go with Blue Eyes’ plan for now.”

“You, Ashanti, and I will head the interrogations. The rest of you, keep your eyes and ears open.”

The three holograms disappeared and a hush fell over the room.

“Challa, I don’t think I should be there when you question the council members.”

“You won’t be, but I want you to come in towards the end so I can gauge their reactions to you,” he ran his hand over his face and sat down in the chair across the desk from his.

“You look tired...you both do,” M’Baku pointed out.

The king and queen looked at each other and took in their appearances. They both had bags under their eyes.

“Yes, well, it’s been a long few days.”

“Why don’t y’all take the rest of the day off? Dr. Jekyll and I can handle the kingdom. I’ll even take Punkin for the night, I know y’all need some alone time.”

“Is the word not ‘pumpkin’?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused.

“Not if you’re Black. Anyway, what do y’all say?”

“Shuri won’t like that you volunteered her to run the kingdom…”

“Then I’ll run it and she can take Punkin, doesn’t matter to me.”

T’Challa thought it over before he noticed the hopeful look on his wife’s face.

“Ok, we’ll take the day, but you have to tell Shuri.”

“Damn, aight I got it. Y’all go take a nap or some shit.”

And that’s exactly what they did. A couple hours later they woke up and ordered dinner to be brought to them. They lazed around in the nude, watching movies, stuffing their faces, and just enjoying their time together not having to act as king and queen but simply T’Challa and Ashanti. They laid in the bed with his head resting on her stomach as his fingers lightly traced invisible symbols into her skin.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing.”

“Challa, I know when you’re lying. You’re not good at it.”

He chuckled and sat up before sighing.

“I’m thinking about The People-”

“No work!”

“I know, my brain just won’t stop going there.”

Ashanti brought him back down to her and played with his hair as he spoke.

“I’m just worried about how you’re holding up in all this.”

She took a moment to collect her thoughts.

“I can’t say it’s easy to hear that people want me dead-”

“They never said-”

“Challa, we know...they don’t have to say it. I’m just worried about where Yaya fits into all this.”

“Her premonition?”

“Yes and no. I’m more so worried about what their plan is for her. Is she in danger too or just me? I can handle being a target again, but my baby?” Ashanti fought tears as she thought the worst. She unknowingly fiddled with her pinky and T’Challa pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

He hadn’t even considered that his little girl might be in danger, too. Just as he started to spiral down that rabbit hole he felt Ashanti move to the side of the bed and stand up.

“Come on, get up.”

“Where are we going?”

“Nowhere. We need to get our heads right.”

Ashanti went over to the balcony and sparked up one of the pre-rolls they had ordered from Amare, the royal grower. T’Challa came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin in the crook of her neck as she held the blunt to his lips. He turned her face to his and shotgunned the smoke into her mouth before taking a hit of his own.

“More Snow Goddess OG?” He took another hit of his favorite strain before passing it back to Ashanti.

“Mmmhm, Amare must want a little prince running around here.”

“Or another princess,” T’Challa smiled just thinking about it.

“Don’t get too excited-”

“Too late,” he said as he kissed her neck.

“I mean about another baby, Challa,” she giggled.

“I know, and I mean this.” His hips thrust forward and she could feel his thickness between her cheeks.

“Oh well in that case, please do continue.”

He pulled away and she felt the chill of the night air on her back. The queen took another hit before ashing the blunt and following her husband back inside.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“Stay here,” the smile on his face intrigued Ashanti. She hadn’t seen him look that giddy in a while.

When he came back she was very confused to see he was empty handed.

“Where is it?”

He pointed to the panther necklace that he definitely wasn't wearing before, eyebrows bouncing mischievously. Before she could say anything he called the suit on.

“Ok...I’ve seen the suit before baby.”

His smile grew as the suit retracted from his body, but stopped at his waist. Ashanti watched in awe as the suit partially covered and uncovered him. His hands were exposed while his torso was covered, then the nanites fused into his mask as the rest of the suit retracted into the necklace.

Ashanti reached out to feel the fibers and sure enough, it was the same as his old suit, just a little more...flexible.

“Shuri finally did it,” she said in awe.

“Mhm, and it took me forever to convince her. Of course, I didn’t tell her why.”

She had wanted to fuck him in the suit ever since she first saw it on him in Shuri’s lab all those years ago, and now her dream was finally coming true. Ashanti was about to fuck the Black Panther.

“Put it back on.”

“You don’t give the orders here.”

A shiver travelled down Ashanti’s spine as he circled her.

“So tell me,” he whispered in her ear as his fingertips lightly ghosted along her hips and down to her thighs before turning her around to face him and grabbing two handfulls of her ass. “How do you want it?”

“Push me to my limit,” she whispered and a deep rumbling chuckle erupted from T’Challa’s chest.

“You sure about that?”

“Yes, Black Panther.”

The chuckling was soon replaced with a growl as he pushed her up against the wall.

“Say that shit again.”

“Yes, Black Panther.”

He attacked her lips and his tongue slithered into her mouth as his hands pressed her hips into the wall behind her.

“That’s how you’ll address me tonight, understand?”

“Yes, Black Panther.”

“Mmm...you remember the safeword?”

“Papaya.”

“Good girl,” he grabbed her by her jaw and made her look at him. “You sure you want to be pushed to your limit?”

“Yes, Black Panther.”

He licked his lips and looked down at her as he called his suit on all the way, leaving his face visible.

“Hey Kim, play ‘Kitten’ playlist,” he called out to the AI and a shiver went down Ashanti’s spine.

Send my regards to the mother and father

'Cause somebody's daughter I just fucking slayed

Blood on the carpet, it came from my heart

Once I start, I can't stop it, and now we are prey

“I’m not stopping unless you say ‘papaya’. You can say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ all you want, it won’t work. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Black Panther,” Ashanti shivered as she spoke. She could feel the wetness pooling between her lower lips. He had always been dominant, but now he felt downright dangerous and that excited her.

“Go get my kit.”

Ashanti’s eyes lit up and she damn near ran to their closet. She found the small suitcase and rolled it out to the bedroom. T’Challa was seated at the edge of the bed with his suit completely on, face covered and all. She laid the suitcase on the chair and unzipped it, splaying it open.

I wanna dive in you tonight

Wouldn't that be special? (special)

'Cause you're so fucking special (special)

And that pussy ain't a rental (no)

I wanna get you so high (high)

'Til you feel it in your mental (mental)

Do you feel me in your mental? (mental)

I'm fucking drilling in your dead soul (woah oh)

“Did I say open it?”

He was behind her in the blink of an eye, but she never even heard him move. His hand wrapped around her throat and she shuddered.

“No.”

“No, who?!” he squeezed the sides tighter, putting pressure on her pulse.

“No, Kum- Black Panther.”

“I’m glad you caught yourself, you’re still a good little slut,” he held her face still with one hand as the fingers on his other hand slapped her cheek. “Vula”

She opened her mouth wide and stuck out her tongue, prompting him to remove the suit from his hand and stick his fingers down her throat.

“You better not fucking gag...good girl,” his helmet disappeared as he dangled his tongue from his mouth and let his spit drop into hers. “Swallow.”

She did as instructed and a sinister smile took over his face.

I lost my mind, yeah

So I made yours mine, yeah

Two souls and a dance with the de-

Only one comin' alive

“Get my favorite toys out,” he instructed and she hopped to it, pulling out her remote control buttplug and her clitoral and g-spot stimulator.

“Put them in, slowly.”

She reached for lube and put a generous amount on the plug before working it inside her. Once she was full of it, she then slid her other vibrator in and made sure it was situated on top of her clit.

“Good girl. Now stay just like that.”

She squirmed from the feeling of being filled in both holes as he dug through the suitcase, pulling out a blindfold. He stopped for a moment to press his beads and she released a moan as her buttplug started vibrating, followed shortly by the internal portion of her vibrator in her pussy.

“Don’t move.”

“Yes, Black Panther, but I-I want to be able to see you. Please don’t blindfold me.”

“Only because you said please,” he gave her a peck on the lips as he turned the vibrators up to the next level, making her moan even louder. “Bast, I love that sound. Come here.” He picked her up and placed her in the swing that had come down from its discreet hiding place in the ceiling, strapping her in and tying her wrists to the bar at the top before turning on the clit stimulator.

Send my regards to the mother and father

'Cause somebody's daughter I just fucking slayed

Blood on the carpet, it came from my heart

Once I start, I can't stop it, and now we are prey

Ashanti convulsed as an orgasm washed over her and she squirted all over the floor. He laughed at her as she came back down to earth and he continued to take her there over and over until she was a blubbering mess. Eventually he took pity on her and his suit covered his face again and uncovered his lower half. He ran his fingers along her pussy and removed her vibrator before stroking his already hard dick with her wetness and plunging deep inside her.

Go until you see the light

(Yeah)

Baby, do you see the light?

(That's right)

She stared into his eyes through the mask and struggled against her restraints as he took her there, suspended in the air and at the complete mercy of the Black Panther.

Call the coroner tonight (tonight)

Blacked-out girl, it's a funeral (funeral)

She was dead on arrival (arrival)

Heart crossed, hand on the Bible (alright)

Ashanti cried, she screamed, she begged him to stop, but not once did she want to use that safeword. In all the time they had been together she had never seen him so unhinged. If the bite marks up and down her body were any indication, he seemed to enjoy being so rough with her. They both looked forward to seeing her bruised skin in the morning and wondered how long it would take for the teeth indents to go away.

The one thing T’Challa didn’t expect from her was her excitement at seeing the razor sharp claws extend from his fingertips. They had engaged in knifeplay before, but it was more so his kink than hers. However, the sight of those claws flipped a switch in her, and he could tell.

'Cause I lost my mind, yeah

So I made yours mine, yeah

Two souls and a dance with the de-

And only one comin' out alive

“Tell me what you want, I see you staring.”

“I want you to cut me.”

He double checked that the first aid kit was in his suitcase before his thumb sliced a very shallow incision right down the middle of her thigh. He removed his mask and his tongue came out to lick away her blood, making Ashanti moan out with pleasure. She hadn’t expected that.

Send my regards to the mother and father

'Cause somebody's daughter I just fucking slayed

(Call the coroner tonight)

Blood on the carpet (it's a funeral tonight)

It came from my heart (my condolences tonight)

Once I start, I can't stop it (go until you see the light)

And now we are prey

When he kissed up her body and finally made it to her lips their tongues lapped at each other and she tasted the copper of her blood. It turned her on even more just thinking about it, her bloodthirsty apex predator.

He called the suit back into the necklace and undid her restraints, kissing the marks on her wrists.

“How do you feel?”

“Really good,” she smiled drunkenly. He wrapped her arms around his neck and removed her legs from the straps, wrapping them around his waist and walking to the bed. He placed her down in the center and grabbed the first aid kit.

“Challa, I’ve had paper cuts deeper than this, you don’t have to do all that,” she chuckled.

“Please, for my peace of mind.”

Ashanti sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, but placed her leg across his lap and allowed him to tend to her wound anyway. “‘Only because you said please.’”

T’Challa laughed as he cleaned her cut, “You think you’re cute, huh? Even after all that?”

“Yes, Black Panther,” she giggled out as he tickled her other thigh. “We should do that more often.”

“Which part?”

“All of it. Even that little surprise at the end,” she gestured to her leg. “Bast, I love how nasty you are.”

“And I love how you’re such a good little slut for me, Kitten.”

Ashanti bit her lip and leaned in for a kiss, but they were interrupted by a banging on the door.

“AYE, GET UP!” N’Jadaka yelled, almost busting down the door. T’Challa’s suit immediately came on as he ran to the door and swung it open.

“Wh-”

“We gotta go, NOW!”

T’Challa and N’Jadaka took off running and Ashanti just sat on the bed, confused and concerned. She only sort of heard the beginning of N’Jadaka’s sentence as they ran out the room. Someone was being held hostage, but she didn’t hear who. She got up and ran the bath that T’Challa was no doubt planning to run for her before their night got interrupted by business. She soaked in the water for a while before she heard T’Challa’s tone coming from her kimoyo beads.

“Take care of it already?” She asked before looking up at the hologram to see the unthinkable. There was her baby girl with a blaster pointed right at her temple with tears in her eyes. Her lip quivered as she stared at the man with the slimy black tendrils surrounding him, his aura unlike any she’d ever seen.

“Hello, my queen,” seethed an unrecognizable voice behind the camera. “You have ten minutes to get here before I pull this trigger...or maybe they’ll pull one of theirs.” He panned the beads around the lab and she saw Shuri, N’Jadaka, and T’Challa with masked people standing behind them holding blasters to each of their heads.

“Please...please don’t hurt them, I-I’m on my way right now. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Nine minutes,” they teased before ending the call.

Ashanti threw on whatever clothes she could get to quickest and ran out the door towards the lab. There was no way she’d make it in nine minutes on foot, so she alerted her Dora detail before hopping on T’Challa’s hoverbike and taking off as quickly as she could towards Shuri’s lab, praying to Bast she would make it in time.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @ljstraightnochaser, @determinednot2fall, @dersha89

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #t'challa #t'challa x oc #black!oc #playlist

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astro-rain · 4 years ago

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter three - “penny for your thoughts”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader runs into a familiar face at the lake near her quarters in wakanda and they get to know each other a bit (kinda meet cute)

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my photo

The sunrise in Wakanda was one of the most marvelous things (Y/N) had ever seen. It was truly divine. Magnificent shades of burnt orange and gold bled through the boundless canvas of clouds. The sun, rich and saturated, was the epicenter of these vivacious gradients. It was almost as though Odin himself was painting the sky.

Her windows, encompassing the space of an entire wall, opened her room effortlessly. They led directly to the outskirts of a small lake that perfectly reflected the sunrise. It almost felt like a vacation. Or a dream, whichever came first.

She had slept wonderfully, but woke up early all the same. The beginning of her morning consisted entirely of sitting right outside her room staring at the ascending sun. She supposed she could've stayed there all day as Shuri told her they wouldn't start working until tomorrow; something about settling in and adjusting. Although she thoroughly enjoyed her quiet, warm morning, wasting the whole day cramped up near and inside her room would be a very poor choice.

There's so much here, I might as well enjoy my mini vacation.

She slipped on her shoes, closed the glass door, and made her way to the very lake she was admiring so dearly. She sat at the edge of the lake, letting the smooth sound of the flowing water fill the air around her. It was so quiet, secluded. She was alone; it was lovely. Tranquile even. Being by herself brought a strange sort of comfort, like she was safe and-

"Hello."

She turned around, still sitting. "Oh. Hi Jame- I mean... Bucky."

He smiled, and gave a ghost of a laugh. "Thanks."

"Did you need something? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, it's good. I was just looking around. This place is beautiful."

"Tell me about it," she returned his smile. "I keep thinking like I'm on a vacation or something. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to work tomorrow."

Bucky nodded his head in agreement. "If I was gonna be... fixed somewhere, I'm glad it's here."

"Yeah, no one's gonna bother us here. Except maybe Shuri when she shows you how much smarter she is than you."

"Kid's a genius," he chuckled. "I've only talked to her a bit and she's smarter than I'll ever be."

At this point he was still standing, his hands clasped politely in front of him. He was just standing next to (Y/N)’s sitting figure. It wasn't a problem until an awkward silence settled over them. She wasn't quite sure what to say.

She wasn't the best with people. She knew exactly how the brain worked and she knew how to analyze behavior, and when it came to her job she knew the right things to say at the right times. But her job has rules; if she's talking with someone, she's treating them. When doing so, there are specific sets of clinical terminology. There were guidelines to follow, scripts to recite. Talking to patients in a work setting was analytical and made sense. Talking to regular people was a bit difficult. There was so much grey area. Bucky was going to be a patient, but right then, in that moment, he was just another person.

"You can sit if you want," she offered, patting the spot next to her. "I feel weird, it seems like I'm making you stand."

He gingerly accepted such an offer. He sat next to her, but not too close. The respectful distance gave her comfort.

We both have our own space.

"Hey, can I say something?" he asked.

"Mhm."

"I just wanted to thank you, ya know, for coming all the way here. Steve told me about the whole situation - you and Sharon and everything. I'm just really grateful. You probably have a whole life of your own back home, but it means a lot that you came here to help out. I know it's not exactly easy."

Heartfelt. If she had to describe it in one word that's what it would be. It almost surprised her.

"Oh you don't have to thank me!" she sounded deflective. "It's my job. I'm just glad we have a chance to provide you with treatment after all the pain you've been through."

Was that too personal?

"I mean, after all this time, I think you're pretty deserving of a reprieve."

"Have you read my file?" he asked, a little quieter than before. He was staring intently at the lake in front of him.

(Y/N) rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, I did."

"Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"That you had to read it. I know it's a lot."

He sounded guilty, like somehow what happened to him was his fault.

"That's alright," she said almost too quickly. "I've gone through plenty of abuse and trauma cases. To be fair, none of them are quite like yours, but I'm not in completely foreign waters here."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I've heard you're more than highly qualified. It's just a lot of bad stuff."

"I can handle bad stuff," she replied, reassuringly. To her, it sounded more factual than reassuring. Unbeknownst to her, it gave Bucky some sort of comfort. Like he was in good hands.

Another awkward silence settled over them. Her eyes remained on the body of water in front of her; she wasn't sure what to say. Casual conversation was not her forte, and Bucky seemed rather shy himself. She felt responsible for any conversation that should take place, but to be fair, he wasn't talking either.

It was then when she subtly aimed her gaze towards him, getting a thorough impression of his features. He was, in all honesty, quite handsome. Objectively speaking of course. He was sharp features and soft edges at once, if you could consider that possible. And the bluest blue eyes she'd ever seen were luminescent in the direct sunlight. She reminded herself not to stare, and tore her line of vision away from the man next to her.

In lieu of this, she closed her eyes, leaned back on the palms of her hands, and relished in the warmth of the Wakandan sun. This lasted a few moments before she once again realized that not a word had been passed between them. She wondered what he was thinking about.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

"You look pensive."

"'M just thinkin'"

"Well, that much I could tell," she snickered.

He flashed a bashful smile. "I'm just tryin' to grasp the fact that I'm actually here. Y'know, safe. Ready to be helped. It's been a while. I keep having to remind myself that it's real."

Makes sense. He probably thinks that any minute, this seemingly secure safe haven is going to be ripped out from under him. Like it was all a rouze and he'll have to return to pain and anguish.

"It's definitely real...well, last time I checked anyway. But who knows? Maybe we're in an alternate reality and any moment we'll see a woman in a red dress," she joked, trying to lighten his mood and simultaneously referencing The Matrix.

It worked. He laughed; a soft gentle chuckle, but a laugh all the same.

"Woman in a red dress?" he asked through a grin.

"Oh, you probably haven't seen The Matrix, have you?"

His face scrunched up in endearing confusion. "No...?"

She adamantly ignored when the word adorable entered her mind when she saw his expression. "It's a movie, a classic really. You'll have to see it at some point or I'll feel like an idiot for referencing it."

"Oh God," he shook his head, "I haven't seen a movie in... ages."

"I think that's a crime in and of itself. They've gotten infintely better than they were in the forties, I can promise you that."

"I got a lot to catch up on, don't I?"

"Maybe a little. But don't worry about it. I'll make you a list!"

"Man, didn't think I'd have homework," he quipped, a meek attempt at a joke.

It made her smile. There's some personality! She showed some of her own in return.

"Man, I didn't think I'd ever meet someone who doesn't like movies of all things. One of the best things ever created by mankind!"

He laughed and threw his hands up in mock surrender. "I never said that! I don't know if I deserve such slander."

What a wonderful laugh.

"Watch every movie on my list and I'll clear your name," she beamed.

He feigned annoyance. "Fine. You drive a hard bargain, Ms. (Y/L/N)."

"That's Dr. (Y/L/N), actually."

Before he could question whether or not he made a mistake, she continued. "I'm totally messing with you. (Y/N) is more than just fine. Dr. (Y/L/N) sounds too much like someone's pretending that I'm my dad anyway."

"Okay then," he smiled, "(Y/N).”

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msmarvelwrites · 4 years ago

Text

The Winter Ghost - Part 3

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn't and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x y/n

Warnings: PTSD, violence, swearing, anxiety.

W/c: 2k

A/n: Big thanks again to @cutie1365 for editing this chaper. Girl is a hero, honestly. And thank you guys for all the love on the previosu chapter. Enjoy!

"Welcome back, мой ребенок " His breath drifted across your cheek and startled you awake. The sound of the lights above you buzzing, mixed with the musty smell of wet basement made you nauseous. You tried to move, but your arms were chained down to the table. Frantically you looked around the small room for some way out. That's when you saw him. A ghost of someone you couldn't quite remember. The way his crooked body twisted as he approached you made you squirm.

"Do you not remember me? Did I not leave a lasting impression? мое сердце разрывается." He chuckled and clutched his chest dramatically. You opened your mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Instead, you pulled on the chains violently trying and failing to free yourself.

"Please, do not hurt yourself. That's his job..." He trailed off looking in the direction you couldn't bend your neck to see. Suddenly there were two large bodies on either side of you, holding your arms tight against the bed.

"Where is the blueprint, мой ребенок ?" He questioned. You thrashed against the two zombie-like men but it was no use.

"Fuck you!" You nearly spat. His only response was a sinister cackle that bounced off the walls of the room.

"Fine. Have it your way... Tell me, Y/n. If I cut off your arm, do you think 2 more will grow back in its place?" He smiled a wicked grin. The two men next to you looked to him, awaiting his orders.

"Сломать это." He shrugged, casting his gaze to the floor. In seconds, the man on your right twisted your arm so it was stretched out, palm down. In one swift movement he brought his elbow down, colliding it against yours, shattering the bone. Your screams mixed with the sound of your bone cracking echoed all around you.

"Fucking monster! I don't care what you do. You've already taken everything from me! I'm dead already." You all but shrieked. Purple and yellow bruising was already growing around your twisted arm.

The lanky man took two wide steps toward you, now hovering over your head. A long deep scar ran from the top of his brow, down his nose and along his lip. His eyes bulged and he spoke.

"Not everything... However, that can be arranged. We cannot kill you, you have our blueprint..." He paused for a moment like he was thinking.

"Это готово?" Is it ready? He asked the man to your left. He only nodded. A sickly grin spread across the ghost’s lips.

"Perfect. Call me when you're done. We'll put her on ice, so to speak." He walked towards the steel door in the corner.

"What do we do with her after?" One of the men by your side asked. You were surprised by how high pitched his voice sounded. Their leader grumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Put her in a car and push her off a cliff for all I care. I don't need her remembering anything but the blueprint. Not yet anyways." With that, he left. The steel door slamming behind him. There was a horrible drilling noise as an excruciating pain ripped through your brain. Tears welled in your eyes as you passed out.

Your eyes burst open, squinting as you adjusted to the bright lighting. You looked around panicked, realising this was not the coffee shop. The room was white and clean and bright. You noticed a quiet beeping from the machine beside you, echoing your heart beat. I.V's protruded from your forearms. Your eyes slowly fell to the man sitting in an arm chair across from you.

"Hey there, slugger. How'ya feelin'?" He chuckled. You recognised him as Captain Rogers. As you focused, you noticed he had a pink gash on the bridge of his nose and bruising under his eyes. You opened your mouth to speak, but a dry cough came out instead. You cleared your throat, and tried again.

"I-I'm okay. What happened to your face?" Your voice only came out as a raspy whisper.

"You." He spoke matter of fact. When you only stared at him he continued. "You can really pack a punch. Are you sure you're just a barista?" He scoffed, eyeing you carefully like at any moment you could attack. As if your body didn't ache at the thought of moving a finger.

"I'm not sure of anything anymore." You signed, staring at the tiles on the ceiling. You looked back to Captain Rogers. "Where are we?" He smiled and stood crossing the room towards you.

"You're safe. That's all that matters, Y/n. A friend of mine will come by later with the nurse. He's kind of an expert when it comes to your situation. Hang tight, get some rest. I'll come check on you later." And with that he exited the room.

About an hour later you began to feel your muscles relaxing. Slowly, you sat up on the bed, taking in your surroundings. ‘I'm never going to financially recover after staying in this hospital,’ you thought.

"Well it's a good thing this isn't a hospital, doll. Not really." You looked up startled by the man leaning against the doorframe of your room. You weren't aware you had said that outloud. He noticed your surprise and chuckled deeply. He had a sort of lopsided grin and long, dark-brown hair that framed his stoic features. The deep red shirt he wore was pulled taut against his broad shoulders. And then you noticed a silver metal arm loosely tucked into the front pocket of his dark jeans. The man quite literally looked like he could tear you in half like a piece of paper, but his eyes gave him away. They were soft and kind and crinkled just slightly at the edges when he smiled. You stared at him, hypnotised for what felt like forever until he cleared his throat, knocking you back into reality. You felt the blood rush to your face and looked away, the floor suddenly becoming very interesting to you.

"It can be really overwhelming when you first get here. Trust me, I know." He spoke, asking with a nod if he could enter your room further. You smiled weakly and he took a step through the door.

"Steve told me what happened. You really knocked him around good." He laughed, his ocean eyes sparkled as he did.

"I don't remember," Your voice was much softer than his. He must have been referring to Captain Rogers. You didn't peg him as a Steve. Maybe a Brian, or Bruce... Or Grumpy. The nickname made you smile.

"Yeah, I know that feeling all too well." His smile faded but his eyes stayed locked to yours. The intensity of his stare made you blush. "It used to happen to me a lot. But, Steve helped me remember myself. He can help you, Y/n." The way he said your 'name' made you shiver. You couldn't tell if you really liked it or not.

"Who are you?" You blurted, sounding more direct than you meant it to. He smiled, "Everyone around here calls me Bucky." You looked around as he said that.

"And where exactly is 'here'?" You fired again. He chuckled softly.

"Welcome to Wakanda, doll."

A little while later, after Bucky explained to you several times who the Avengers were, who Steve was and why you were here, one of the nurses entered. The nurse took a few tests, drawing blood from your arm. You winced and instinctually looked to Bucky. His eyes were soft and filled with concern.

Steve took a seat beside Bucky on the windowsill and smiled half heartedly. "I'm sure you're very confused Y/n. My friends and I are going to do our best to try and help you remember everything Hydra made you forget." He disclosed.

You looked to Bucky and he nodded reassuringly. "Piece of cake, doll." He offered, kindly.

You smiled and looked back to Steve. "Okay... Fill me in."

An hour and about 80 questions later Steve finished explaining and you finished asking. You didn't remember anything he spoke of, but you knew if you were here, there must be some truth to it. It helped that Bucky sat beside you the whole time. Steve explained that your father had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D for many years but when he realized they had been infiltrated by Hydra he left. Same as you. Hydra was behind your family's house fire. They murdered them, just like they did Tommy. Steve explained what a good man he was. That he worked across the hall from you and would often leave you notes on your desk. You looked to Bucky who was staring at the floor, picking at his nails uncomfortably.

"They were working on a new type of brainwashing. One that would wipe a person's memory's completely leaving only fragments of the truth. It was a way to keep S.H.I.E.L.D agents who knew too much quiet." He continued. He looked to Bucky, whose eyes were still fixated on the floor.

"Is that what they did to you?" You asked him. His head snapped up, empathy in his eyes.

"Nah, doll. Not exactly." He explained. You waited for him to continue but he never did.

"What about my car crash? The doctors said-" Steve cut you off, "Hydra staged the whole thing. After they cleaned your slate they couldn't have you questioning where your memory had gone. It was easier to keep you thinking the crash had caused brain damage and that's why you had pieces missing." He finished. Suddenly the strange nightmares began to make sense. Maybe your memory was beginning to return?

"Will I ever remember?" You asked, your voice small. You didn't know if you really wanted to. From what Steve had told you, your life sounded pretty fucked up. Maybe Hydra did you a service by wiping your memory.

"There is a way," Steve started, looking to Bucky who was gazing out the window now. "One of our friends, Shuri, has come up with a remedy. She helped Buck regain his memories, too. We can start the process today. We have to take it slow, though. A lot happened to you, Y/n. It may be really painful to re-live. But, you have the blueprints to a weapon that could quite literally end the game, so-"

"Ultimately, it's your decision Y/n. We're here to keep you safe. Not just from Hydra. I won't let anything bad happen to you." Bucky interjected suddenly, cutting Steve off before he could finish. His words were soft and kind. Steve looked to his friend and back to you, knowingly.

"Thank you Bucky. But, these assholes took everything from me. I can't stand by when I know how to end this." He nodded in understanding. Part of him looked almost disappointed. But you quickly brushed it off.

"Then it's settled. I'll ask Shuri to start prepping. We'll get you a better room to keep you comfortable. Oh, and Y/n" he paused, getting up and heading to the door.

You looked up and he smirked, "Welcome to Wakanda -"

"I already said that." Bucky mumbled over Steve. The blonde gaped at him, taken aback by his sarcastic tone.

"Fine whatever, I thought we agreed that it was my thing but okay."

.................................

A/N: ahhhh chapter three!! Im having so much fun with this you guys! thank you so much for reading. As always, any and all feeback in welcomed! Hope you have a great day!

#bucky x reader #bucky barns imagine #bucky x y/n #marvel fanfiction #steve x reader #steve rodgers imagine #bucky barnes #bucky x steve

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wittyrosebush · 4 years ago

Note

Congratulations !!!

30 with Steve Rodgers please? ♥️♥️♥️

La Revolucion

Pairing: Pre-Infinity War!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Mild violence, brief swearing

Summary: After the Avengers split up, Steve thinks back to the first time he met the love of his life.

Word Count: ~1.5k

Date Posted: 2/7/2021

A/N: Thank you, Anon!!! This one is based off of Americano by Lady Gaga. The song is about immigration law and LGBT+ marriage in America. It took me a while to figure out how to go about writing this (apparently its best done at 1am), so I hope you enjoy! I'm lowkey proud of this one ngl.

Once again, let me know what you think about this one! More are coming out soon.

Steve walked Bucky off the jet into Wakanda with a stern look on his face. Something seemed off about his friend, so the brunette stopped walking. "What's wrong, Buck?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, I'm just worried about you," Bucky said. He was being escorted to the place where he was to be put into a coma like state for who knows how long.

Steve furrowed his brows in confusion, "Why are you worried about me?"

"I don't want you to be alone, you need someone to keep your impulse control in check."

The blonde humorlessly chuckled, "I won't be alone."

"Oh really?"

The pair made it to the entrance of Shuri's lab and there was a tense silence. Neither men could face the other before Steve broke the silence, "I met a girl in East LA."

Bucky nudged his shoulder and smirked, "Finally! Is she pretty?"

"She's the most beautiful person I've ever seen," he smiled with a slight blush coming onto his face.

Bucky turned towards his best friend. "Thank you for assuring me that you won't be stupid alone."

"You're taking all the stupid for yourself." Steve said as he pulled him into a hug.

After saying their goodbyes, Steve walked back to the quinjet, reminiscing about meeting her.

~~~

Steve sat at a bar alone, watching the latest drug cartel leader. After the end of his team, he wanted to continue to do good.

The blonde brought his drink to his lips as the announcer stepped on the small, wooden stage. "Thank y'all for coming out tonight! Next up we have my favorite little lady. In floral shorts as sweet as May, she sang in eights and two barrio chords, I present to you... Y/n!"

Steve barely looked away from his target to look at her, but the second he realized what he saw he looked again. He honestly thought his heart stopped. His breath hitched in his throat and his palms became damp.

After a moment, he snapped out of his trance. I'm on a mission, he thought, there is no time for distractions. Steve had locked onto the sight of the cartel leader again when she started singing and he knew he was a goner.

"Mis canciones son de la revolución," she was a siren and he was the pour soul that was about to drown.

Well, he actually was choked by one of the target's bodyguards. The singing stopped as people gasped and started running to the exit. Steve was able to push the goon off of him onto the floor just as he heard the click of a revolver. "Game's up, Captain. This en-"

The sound of his attacker screaming made him turn around to see Y/n pepper spraying the group of men. She held a cloth to her mouth and tossed one to Steve, "Follow me!"

Without hesitation, she ran behind the counter with the super soldier right behind her. She pulled the latch to what appeared to be a trap door and jumped down into the darkness. Steve froze for a moment. Was this a trap?

"I suggest you come down here, sir. Unless you fancy being mauled by those angry old guys," Y/n smirked and moved aside from the opening so he could jump down. Steve hopped down and was also consumed in the darkness.

Before he had a chance to speak to the mysterious singer, his hand was being dragged away from the entrance. The next few minutes were silent besides the sound of two pairs of shoes hitting the pavement.

Finally, Y/n stopped. Steve was about to speak before he heard something unlock and his vision was flooded with light. His eyes adjusted after a moment and he looked around to see a small town. He took a deep breath and turned to Y/n, who was now leaning against a rock trying to catch her breath, "Why are you helping me? I'm sorry but this doesn't make sense, ma'am."

The woman chuckled, "Not many things do, Captain Rogers. Yet here we are." He frowned and was about to walk away before she spoke again. "I have cried for, I will die for how I care."

Steve paused and stood in front of her, intrigued. "These people have been tormented by that pig and I'm sick of it. I'd do anything to protect my home," she all but whispered.

The blonde only nodded. He had researched the town before coming here.; it was a town filled with criminals and the people they had control over, whether it was individuals or entire families.

Steve hummed, "They have you're family?"

She smiled, looking down at the ground. "No, I got them out 2 years ago. And I don't plan on stopping until they're all away from the west coast."

Y/n looked up after a minute to see the space in front of her empty. Captain America was no where to be seen.

~~~

A few days later there was a knock against Y/n's dressing room door. She set down her mascara and held her pepper spray in a steel grip, "Who is it?"

When no one answered, she let out a shaky sigh. Quiet footsteps could be heard outside the door and a deep voice saying, "I'll take care of her, get the rest." She froze and looked at the door in pure fear.

"This is it," she murmured as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Just as the lock turned she fumbled for one of her shoes and threw it as hard as she could at the blonde man in a dark blue super suit.

Luckily, Steve had his shield in front of him. Y/n gasped and put her hands over her mouth. The poor man peeking his eyes out from behind his shield with a worried gaze. The female ran an anxious hand through her hair and tried not to meet his scared gaze. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Steve! I didn't know it was you and I got scared and-"

Steve gestured for her to be quiet and she abruptly stopped. After a moment of just staring at each other, him thanking god you didn't pepper spray him and her praying that he didn't think she was a lunatic, he offered his hand.

Before Y/n could take hold of his hand, yelling could be heard upstairs. The super soldier swiftly scooped her into his arms and bolted out of the room.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as they ran through the building. Once the exit was in sight it seemed like everything was going to be okay. That was until two goons ripped the door from its hinged and rushed towards Y/n and Steve.

Steve huffed and quickly turned a corner, causing the female to yelp and hold him tighter. Suddenly, the short pants stopped from the blonde, "Hold on tight, ma'am."

Before she could say a word Steve jumped out the window. Y/n was now curled in a ball and screaming at the top of her lungs as Steve flipped them onto his back.

The air from the two pairs of lungs were knocked out when they hit the ground. While Y/n clenched her eyes shut, Steve saw the goons chasing them being kicked out of the window by his favorite red-headed assassin.

"You and your girl ok, Rogers?" Natasha said as she coyly waved at the two of them. Steve could only chuckle and look up at the stars.

After a moment of adrenaline filled tranquility, Y/n spoke up. "I guess we're even now, Captain Rogers."

Steve raised an eyebrow and looked down at the woman in his arms. She smiled at him and rested her chin on his chest, "I saved you, you saved me."

"Technically we aren't even," he said and sat up as he helped her do the same, "my team got everyone out of the town, you were the last to pick up."

Y/n was silent for a moment, her mouth hanging open in shock. Steve gave her a moment to control her thoughts and stared deep into her eyes when she spoke again, "Why would you help us? You barely know these people, let alone me."

Steve looked away, happy that it was dark so she couldn't see his face turning a light shad of pink, "You're a good person, and these people didn't deserve what they were given."

This time Y/n stared into his alluring eyes, sensing he had more to say. "Plus I wanted to see if you would go dancing with me one night."

Steve wanted to burry his face in his hands but they were still glued to her waist. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek, making Steve a flustered mess. "Well it wasn't just that-I mean you also seem to have a set of skills that could be useful on the team-"

Y/n chuckled and stood up, "Who would have thought that a kiss on the face would fluster the greatest Avenger." Steve huffed and stood up. The female still had a smile plastered on her face, "So, are you asking me on a date or asking me to join your team?"

"Both," he said, "there's a lot of bad in this world and with the right training you could help minimize it." Steve offered his hand to her and she glanced at it, returning to his intense gaze. "What do you say, Y/n?"

She smirked and grabbed his hand, "Let's start a revolution."

#captain america #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #steve x reader #captain america x reader #i should probably go to bed #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x female reader #captain america x female reader

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thesoloists · 4 years ago

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Unsweet Dreams

Summary: Bucky may be free of Hydra’s influence, but he’s not free of that of the Winter Soldier. He’s slowly coming to terms with that.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: PTSD, trauma and anxiety, brief graphic depictions of murder (assault & strangulation), chronic nightmares, fluff via post-nightmare comfort (if it’s any consolation, I tried to keep it balanced)

A/n: AHH, I’m so nervous! It’s been awhile since this corner of the interweb has seen my writing (I made a new tumblr and everything), so if whoever reads this could just, y’know, drop me an ask telling me what you think about this fic, I would really appreciate it. Also, I promise not all my fics will be this dark. I just needed the bit of catharsis at the end. :’)

Bucky used to live in constant fear. It was like a malignant tumor, slowly killing him and robbing him of the ability to live every damn day of his life.

To be in a crowd was like sticking him in a coffin full of nails. As he struggled to stay out of the swirl of hurried people, his anxiety would skyrocket to the point of short-circuiting his mental system. His whole body becomes stiff, his responses shortened and robotic, as he becomes helplessly overwhelmed by the blaring warning signs going off in his head. Until his brain, finding no other option, shut down enough to function on autopilot. Only when he was away from everyone, when his mind was sure they were a safe distance from the danger of the Winter Soldier, would he come back to himself. But, to be honest, was there ever a safe enough distance from such a mindless beast?

The idea of becoming him again was so crippling that before Shuri offered to fix him, Bucky would spend days at a time locked in his room and weeks without leaving the compound. Shuri said he would never be that man again, the crudely molded vague interpretation of one, anyway—not after whatever indescribable thing she had done to him with Wakandan technology that Bucky still finds respectfully confusing. Bucky wanted so badly to believe her, but why, even now, if she is as certain as she was then that the gangrenous part of him is gone, why does he still see him in his dreams at night? Sometimes standing before him like a ghost, void of his humanity, empty of soul, filled only with commands of murder and mission and the pain endured in every attempt to scrape away the bloodshed.

There’s no place in Bucky’s mind he can hide where the monstrous Winter Soldier cannot find him. In pleasant dreams of sandy beaches with the smell of salt on the open air, the beast will tear open a gaping black rift right behind him, grab Bucky by the back of his collar, and drag him into the void as his screams fall on apathetic ears. Where he ends up is a place where his cries are heard by no one, Where color cannot penetrate the bitter black, and where shapes and barriers do not exist. He can run forever and never hit a wall, and all the while, the Winter Soldier will stalk toward him. Inevitable, just as Bucky is with his surrender.

Agony awaits him, but he knows it will end. It has to end. And when it does, he will wake.

Bucky has long given up trying to escape on his own. Every attempt has proved futile, and it only draws out the agony. He prefers his death to be as quick as ripping a band aid. So, he goes nowhere, just stands in the very place the Winter Soldier dropped him, and waits.

The Winter Soldier stands maybe twenty feet away. His eyes are shrouded in smears of dark black, but his eyes are a stark contrast of light blue shards of cryogenic ice.

Knowing the end will be the same as every other end before it brings Bucky no semblance of comfort. He is helpless to it. No more than a prisoner to his own imagined fate.

After a while of the Winter Soldier reducing the encounter to nothing more than a one-sided staring contest, Bucky hangs his head, shaking it at the absurdity of being made to wait. “Just get it over with,” he mutters.

The shape of the Winter Soldier flickers and disappears, manifesting with daunting intensity right in front of him. Bucky finds nothing but the hoard of his own past screams in the Soldier’s empty gaze.

In a blink, the Winter Soldier moves. The plates on the Soldier’s metallic machine arm whir and shift as his cold metal hand latches around Bucky’s throat in an unyielding vise, squeezing tighter and tighter, killing the human, killing Bucky.

Then it is over. In that particular dream, after Bucky dies, Bucky wakes.

Most of the time, however, it is Bucky looking through the lens of the Winter Soldier as a captive, unable to control his movements. It is Bucky’s traitorous metal arm around the throat of someone he cares about, tightening around their choked gasps and rasped pleas...

[Bucky has no desire to live out the Winter Soldier’s greatest hits on all of his friends, so he asks that the burden be left to another’s imagination. If it is any consolation, he is very sorry.]

He’s killed them all more times than he can count. Steve always knows when he’s had one of the dreams the next morning and who it was about because Bucky is incapable of looking that person in the eye. The image of his hand wrapped around their throat is still too fresh a wound in his mind. He’s nothing more than a shell on those mornings. His eyes are gaunt, his attention impossible to keep, and he’s left haunted for most if not all the remaining hours of the day. It’s an inevitability.

It wasn’t until he met you that Bucky allowed himself to believe Shuri’s words of comfort weren’t just empty words meant to reassure him. It’s taken months for him to get to this point, but you have been nothing but patient, never forcing him into anything, never questioning the slow speed at which your relationship progressed. You only take what he gives and in return give what he needs. He still has nightmares, though they occur far less often with you sleeping beside him. In fact, before tonight, Bucky hadn’t had one in months. To know what it felt like to be well-rested, he hadn’t felt that probably since he was digging his stupid five-foot-nothing best friend out of trouble. Before either had turned their gaze toward joining the war.

When Bucky has either nightmare involving the Winter Soldier, it doesn't matter which, he always wakes up crying. Sometimes silently, sometimes with whimpers or explosive sobs—freshly rebuilt only to be destroyed by the horrors that play out in a hell of his mind’s own making. You sleep notoriously light, so it doesn’t take much for you to wake, and you never want him to apologize for it. His whimpers begin quietly, but they are enough. With the fast action of someone who has done this many times before, you move across the bed until your chest is flush with his back, throw your arm around him, and hold on tight as you whisper sweet assurances into the crook of his neck as his body is wrecked by sob after sob after sob. Grounding him in the existence of his humanity, in the reality of his life as it is now—good and warm and safe— until his tremoring body stills. It’s by no means a quick remedy, and perhaps the emotional exhaustion does most of the work, but with one final shudder, Bucky lets out a hard breath, his last few tears nothing more than wet stains on his pillow.

In unspoken words of comfort, you press kisses along the jagged scaring where flesh meets metal, before resting the side of your face against his shoulder which is damp with cool sweat, and guide his ragged breathing to a slower, fuller calm with the warmth of your breaths on his back.

In the now quiet dark of the bedroom, Bucky strokes the back of your hand, tracing lightly over every knuckle with his fingertips.

With tender movement, you turn your hand beneath his to grasp his hand loosely between your fingers. Your gentle squeeze is simply to ask, Are you okay?

He squeezes twice. No.

He shifts his hand again and after a beat, makes a small request by tapping three times on the back of your head. Your voice breaks through the darkness as you whisper to him, “Who was it, my love?”

It takes him a minute because he has to remember, and that involves reliving the memory of the dream, if only for a glimpse. But he wants to remember, if only for an attempted catharsis.

“Steve,” he says hoarsely. Or Natasha, Sam, Tony, or someone else unfortunate enough to have been dropped into the role of victim—But it’s Steve who affects him the most, sometimes in aftershocks that last for days.

Three taps means he wants to talk about it, but doesn’t want to speak first. Something about having to break the silence after having to relive that trauma just feels too daunting to him, especially now that he’s just been reminded of the monster hiding in his closet after months of silence gave him the false security of maybe being finally free. If anything, it was the sobering realization that he would never truly be free, but it’s an affliction of which he’s willing to find ways to cope. So far, his best success has been found in months of therapy and in the love he found with you. He doesn’t solely rely on you. That’s a burden, and he’s not about to expect you, an extraordinary ordinary human, to somehow be the cure for his chronic mental disturbance. But you bring him words of encouragement and a presence that puts him at ease, and if this is merely the baby-steps to learning to walk on his own, he’s willing to take it and continue practicing. No matter how much he falls, you have made it clear you will always be there to catch him if he needs it.

You wait until he’s ready for you to get up, spending several minutes brushing strands of damp hair away from his face and the rest of the uncounted time trailing your fingers up and down his arms and across his chest in an endlessly light, thoughtful caress. Only when he tells you it’s okay do you briefly disappear into the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove. It’s always been difficult for him to go back to sleep after a dream like this, but it’s easier after he talks through it, and it’s easier with tea.

He doesn’t find sleep again, but you fall asleep on the couch an hour before dawn and halfway through his fourth episode of M*A*S*H. Your whole body is curled in a tight ball on the other half of the couch as you hug an empty mug of tea close to your chest. He carefully removes it from your grasp one vise-like finger at a time (jeez, you have an insane grip for someone who’s asleep), vaguely feeling like he’s trying to disassemble a bomb, and sets it on the side table next to the couch .

As the credits roll, Bucky carries you back to bed and is part way through tucking you beneath the covers, all warm and snug like a cute little sausage roll, when you begin to stir. Instantly, Bucky freezes. Then he remembers you always do this as if it’s part of some weird post-nightmare bedtime ritual and always manage to go right back to sleep. Comforted by the assurance, and also a little amused by the memories, he turns to close the blinds to block out the rays that would have cut unbearably bright lines against your face had he done nothing (and he’s never been much of a do nothing kind of guy), but when he turns back around, you’re rubbing your eyes with your fingertips—awake, it seems. (Aw, hell.) You blink blearily at him with a lopsided smile he finds adorable, a smile there just for him.

Sometimes he forgets how lucky he is.

When your mouth opens with an obscenely loud, drawn-out yawn, he's never loved you more.

After smacking your lips, still in the midst of a sleepy haze, you ask, “You okay?”

While you look at him, Bucky realizes you’re trying monumentally hard to keep your eyes from opening fully, narrowing them to the point that he wouldn’t even know you were still awake if you hadn’t said something. Bucky’s smile turns butter soft at that.

His heart swells. He’s just so appreciative of you. Your kindness. That you willingly sacrifice precious hours of sleep just to tend to the wounds of his own psychological warfare.

“Yeah. I’m good now,” Bucky assures you, and he means it. He lowers his hand to cradle your cheek, sweeping the pad of his thumb back and forth across the swell of your cheek beneath your eyelashes. At the caressing motion, your eyelids flutter, then fall completely closed in total surrender. He leans down, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. “Sweet dreams, doll.”

Your response is swallowed by the pillow as you shimmy down the bed to bury your face beneath the covers, but he’s pretty sure he heard you say something endearing.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #beckham writes

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years ago

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Falcon and Winter Soldier Episode 4- My Thoughts

Okay. I have no idea what to expect now. As always, spoilers under the cut.

This episode shook things up by starting off with a flashback, involving the time Bucky spent in Wakanda after the events of Civil War. It’s the moment where Shuri managed to remove the Winter Soldier programing from Bucky’s brain, and Ayo is personally performing a test to make sure the procedure was truly successful. As many people have already discussed, this whole scene was masterfully done. As Ayo is reciting the Winter Soldier Activation Words, Bucky’s utter fear of relapsing is tangible in his face and voice. But as the test continues, the fear in Bucky’s face slowly is replaced by disbelief and elation. Because he’s realizing the Winter Soldier Activation Words aren’t affecting him anymore. But it’s not until Ayo directly tells him that he’s finally free that he fully lets himself believe it, and he breaks down crying from the joyful relief. Anyone who tries to claim that Sebastian Stan isn’t a phenomenal actor has clearly never watched this scene.

Of course, this flashback ends up being immediately contrasted to the present day scene, where Ayo is confronting Bucky in Latvia over the issue of him helping break Zemo out of prison. We saw in the flashback that Ayo was the one who personally tested Bucky to ensure he was freed from the Winter Soldier programing, which suggests they had a personal bond. But now, that bond has been damaged because of the whole issue with Zemo. I fully understand why Ayo is angry about this. After all, she’s not only part of the Dora Milaje, but she’s the second in command of that band of elite warriors. As such, her first priority will always be to Wakanda and it’s throne. And we all remember that Zemo was directly responsible for the death of the late King T’Chaka, so it’s natural that he’d be considered their enemy. Plus, while it’s been a while since I saw Civil War, I think it was Ayo who was supposed to be protecting King T’Chaka at the time of the UN bombing. If it was, that would further explain why she’s so miffed, because she must feel like she’d failed in her duty to protect him because of Zemo’s actions. (And, in a way, Zemo’s actions in Civil War probably also led to the events of Black Panther. Because without King T’Chaka’s death, there might not have been that power struggle between T'Challa and Killmonger.) But now, Bucky assisted Zemo’s escape from prison. The same Bucky who the people of Wakanda had taken in, cared for and helped get his life, identity and autonomy back. Yeah, I can see why Ayo would take this personally. Bucky really should have checked in with them before doing what he did. Granted it was a spur of the moment decision and he probably didn’t have the time to contact them in order to give them a heads up about it, but the point still stands. Still, when Bucky explains he needs Zemo to finish his current mission in stopping the Flag Smashers, Ayo reluctantly agrees to give Bucky a mercy period of eight hours. At which point the Dora Milaje will return in order to take Zemo into their custody.

After Ayo leaves, Bucky rejoins Sam and Zemo, and they begin discussing the issue of Karli and the Flag Smashers. Sam says that he wants to try reasoning with Karli in order to come up with a peaceful solution. Because he understands where she’s coming from in regards to how she clearly feels the world is not listening to her people and properly addressing their needs. But he doesn’t agree with her methods of fighting. Zemo, however, doesn’t think it’s possible to reason with Karli because of her taking the Super Soldier Serum. His argument seems to be that everyone who has ever taken the Super Soldier Serum gets corrupted in some way. The only exception to that rule was Steve Rogers, but Zemo points out there has never been another Steve. (Interestingly, when he says this, the camera seems to focus on Sam. I wonder if that was an intentional decision or just a lucky accident.) And yes, they also don’t really acknowledge the fact that Bucky didn’t become a Super Soldier voluntarily. Unlike Steve and the Flag Smashers, he wasn’t given a choice in the matter. But I guess that’s beside the point.

To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what Zemo’s goal is right here. Because he does seem to be sticking around with Sam and Bucky, even though he had a few chances to give them the slip. But at the same time, this is still Zemo. And he seems to have a major grievance against Super Soldiers and all enhanced individuals. Which probably explains why he’s sticking around, considering the mission involves the Flag Smashers, who all injected themselves with the Super Soldier Serum. But is he eventually planning to try and take down Bucky, too?

In any event, the trio decide their best chance of getting Sam his opportunity of sitting down and talking with Karli is at the funeral of that woman who we saw die in the last episode. Because this woman was apparently well-loved by the community. (Side note, I shared Bucky’s confusion when Sam begin talking about his TT. I have never heard that particular slang word for aunt before. Is this a regional/cultural thing?) They do manage to determine the location of this funeral thanks to Zemo, who manages to gain the trust of this one little girl by offering her some Turkish Delight. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe vibes aside, that was a pretty good idea. I don’t even remotely like this guy, but I can admit he’s smart. But them, when they’re on the way to the funeral, John Walker pops up, being his usual likable self. He argues with Sam for a bit over Sam’s intention to try talking with Karli in the hopes of coming to a peaceful resolution, which contradicts with Walker’s plan of just apprehending her. Thankfully, Lemar Hoskins is able to convince Walker to at least try giving Sam a chance.

After the funeral, Sam approaches Karli and begins to talk with her, utilizing his skills as a councilor and therapist of war vets. And he’s actually starting to get through to her. But then, Walker botches it all up. Because he just couldn’t give Sam the ten minutes he requested and barges in to arrest her. Which results in Karli thinking that the whole thing was just a setup and throwing all of Sam’s progress with her out the window. Karli and the other Flag Smashers end up getting away, but in the process, Karli had a brief run-in with Zemo. And their confrontation resulted in Karli accidently dropping the vials of Super Serum she’d been carrying around in her fanny pack. Zemo, going along with his whole shtick of enhanced individuals must go, starts to destroy the vials. But while he’s doing so, Walker comes up and knocks him out with the Shield. And that’s when Walker sees that there’s only one vial of Super Serum remaining. Unbeknownst to Sam and Bucky, he secretly ends up pocketing the vial before they arrive on the scene.

Sometime later, they’re all back at that apartment(?) where Bucky, Sam and Zemo have been crashing in Latvia. Walker decides enough is enough, and he’s going to return Zemo to his cell in Germany. But that’s when Ayo and the other Dora Milaje appear. It seems that the eight hours that Ayo gave Bucky are up, and they’ve also come for Zemo. Of course, Walker, being the arrogant moron he is, is rather dismissive towards the Dora Milaje, trying to claim that they don’t have jurisdiction there. Which leads to Ayo stating her epic line, of how the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they are.

https://youtu.be/jG8u1UdD-T0

When Walker proceeds to neglect to show the proper respect towards Ayo and the rest of the Dora Milaje, despite Sam’s urging to not start anything with them, Ayo proceeds to put him in his place by giving him the beatdown he deserves. And I really like how Bucky seemed content to just sit back and watch it happen, embodying the viewing audience in the process. (His ‘looking strong, John’ was just so wonderfully snarky.) Eventually though, Sam gets Bucky to step in.

Of course, that leads me to the part where Ayo reveals she can detach Bucky’s vibranium arm with just two moves. Which seems to be a pretty polarizing moment in this episode. Okay, I acknowledge that this whole situation is extremely complicated. And as I stated earlier, I fully appreciate that Ayo is feeling particularly betrayed by Bucky’s actions in assisting Zemo’s escape from prison without discussing it with the Wakandans first. That being said? DUDE! I know it’s easy to forget sometimes, but the fact remains that Bucky is an amputee. A man with a physical disability. You don’t up and remove a disabled man’s prosthetic limb without his consent! What’s wrong with you? It’s the same as going up to a deaf person and ripping out their hearing aid, or taking away someone’s wheelchair!

Also, it’s possible I missed something about this scene, but the way it was set up doesn’t make a lot of sense. I didn’t see anything to suggest that Bucky and Sam were attempting to prevent the Dora Milaje from leaving with Zemo. If Walker hadn’t started trying to throw his weight around, they probably would have allowed it without an argument. Bucky only intervened in the ensuing fight in order to dissolve the situation. And when he stepped in, it almost looked as if Ayo was preparing to make a killing blow. Which is way extreme because, while Walker is an arrogant, smug prat and deserved to get knocked down a few pegs, at this point, he hadn’t really done anything to warrant getting impaled by a spear. Yeah, I get Ayo and the other Dora Milaje are undoubtedly super angry right now because of the whole Zemo thing and tempers are running high. But at the same time, that fact alone means they really shouldn’t be acting rashly. Oh, at it gets better. Because while everyone was distracted by all the fighting, Zemo slips into the bathroom and manages to escape by moving the bathtub aside and slithering away down the drain like the snake he is. (Exactly how big are the pipes in Latvia?) So because of all this fighting, Zemo is now roaming around free somewhere, and the Dora Milaje have to leave without him. I repeat, I fully get this is a complicated, complex situation, and I understand where they’re coming from. But perhaps if the Dora Milaje didn’t start fighting with Bucky and Sam when they stepped in to interfere with Walker’s well-deserved beatdown, maybe Zemo wouldn’t have gotten away. Just saying, they were doing a pretty good job of keeping Zemo on a leash up until now.

So anyway, in the aftermath of this fight, you see Walker starting to have a mental breakdown. Because he is completely flabbergasted that he was effortlessly taken down by the Dora Milaje. Because while they are unquestionably highly skilled and trained warriors, they are still completely ordinary people. Not a single one of them have been injected with the Super Serum. So how is he supposed to manage going up against the Flag Smashers, who are Super Soldiers? (It’s also possible that Walker’s despondency over this is partially fueled by him having sexist and xenophobic viewpoints, considering the Dora Milaje are all African women, but that’s open to interpretation.) While he and Hoskins are sitting at a diner somewhere, Walker, clearly thinking about the fact that he has the last vial of Super Serum, asks Hoskins if he would take the Super Serum if he had the chance. Hoskins states he would take it. Which is clearly meant to parallel an earlier scene, where Zemo asked Sam if he would take it if it was ever offered. Because Sam stated he wouldn’t without hesitation. Which once again further cements the fact that Steve made the right choice in choosing Sam as his successor. (It’s also evident by the fact that Sam is the one trying to find a peaceful resolution with the Flag Smashers, while Walker is simply trying to charge in and simply take them out.)

Things come to a head when Karli actually calls up Sam’s sister, Sarah, and directly threatens her and her kids in order to give Sam an incentive to meet with her again. So Sam, with Bucky accompanying him, suits up as Falcon in order to confront her. Karli attempts to try and convince Sam to join up with her, but Sam still insists that, while her goal is honorable, there’s a better way to fight without resorting to violence (such as blowing up buildings with innocent people inside). But once again, Walker mucks it all up. Because, Sam is then contacted by Sharon Carter. Who seems to be able to track Walker via satellite? Which seems to contradict something she said earlier about not having access to satellites, unless I misheard that line. Yeah, Sharon is kinda shady in this episode. If the fan theory that she’s actually the Power Broker turns out to be right, I won’t be that shocked. In any event, it seems that either Walker and Hoskins ended up going after the Flag Smashers again or Karli’s meeting with Sam was just a diversion to keep Sam and Bucky out of the way while the Flag Smashers tried to go after Walker in order to kill him. I’m not sure which it was. But regardless, Sam and Bucky immediately go off to try and find Walker before it’s too late, with Karli also running off to join the fight.

Here, it’s one big action sequence, with Bucky, Sam and Walker fighting against Karli and the Flag Smashers. Hoskins eventually joins in the fight as well (he was absent from the start of the fight because he was jumped by some of the Flag Smashers and was briefly tied up in a bathroom somewhere until he managed to free himself). But in the mist of the battle, Karli ends up either kicking or punching Hoskins into a stone pillar with full Super Soldier strength. And the impact apparently snaps Hoskin’s spine, killing him instantly.

Okay! I was seriously not expecting them to kill Hoskins off like that! And it’s a shame, too. Because while I barely knew Hoskins, he still seemed like an okay guy. At least he was the one who, however briefly, convinced Walker to at least try to give Sam a chance to talk to Karli. Which indicated he wasn’t as gung-ho and impulsive as Walker is. Unfortunately, it seems that Hoskin’s death was the breaking point for Walker, because he immediately snaps. And while Bucky and Sam go after Karli when she makes a break for it, Walker goes right for the other Flag Smashers. He quickly corners the Flag Smasher called Nico, who I think was Karli’s right-hand man, in the middle of a crowded square. And, in full view of everyone, mercilessly murders Nico with the Shield. And he is showing no reaction to the fact that the onlookers are all staring at him in shock and horror, or even that some people were filming him with their camera phones. He simply straps the Shield, which is now covered with blood, onto his arm. And that’s where the episode ends.

Well, crap! That’s a rather dark note to end the episode on. Clearly, Walker is unstable. And I have no idea what the final two episodes of this show will be like. The even more chilling aspect is that, while it’s not explicitly stated, it’s implied that Walker might have already taken the Super Serum! And this show of rage and aggression was the result of it. After all, as Dr. Erskine had said way back when, the Serum elevates everything. Good becomes great, but bad becomes worse. And Walker was clearly undergoing a phycological breakdown to begin with. So if he’s taken the Super Serum (like we were probably supposed to assume he did when he effortlessly bent a metal pole like a pretzel during the last battle scene with the Flag Smashers), then he must be REALLY unstable now! And now, the Shield, the very symbol of Captain America (which is tied to Steve Roger’s legacy), is now tainted by a bloodstain. Again, I have no idea where the show plans to go from here on in.

Speaking of the Shield? On a closing note, I do have to address the fact that Bucky once again scolded Sam for giving away the Shield in the first place. *Sigh* Okay. Bucky? I love you, man. You’re my favorite character in the MCU so far (apart from Goose, of course). But you really need to stop blaming Sam for this. Because Sam didn’t give the Shield away like you’re suggesting. That’s not what happened. Sam donated the Shield to the Smithsonian, with the understanding that it would be kept there, as a monument to everything Steve Rogers did and stood for. It was the US Government who went behind Sam’s back and took back the Shield in order to hand it over to Walker. Sam didn’t know they were going to do that until after the fact. Yes, Bucky has every right to be mad about what happened. His feelings are justified and valid. (Particularly if they end up revealing what I think they’re going to reveal.) But he’s taking it out on the wrong person. And he really does owe Sam an apology.

#falcon and winter soldier #falcon and winter solider series

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queen-of-the-avengers · 4 years ago

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Pick A Side

Characters: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark

Word Count: 1,886

Warnings: angst, captain america civil war and sokovia accords spoilers

Request by @previouslyforgotten: Alright this takes place during CACW and the reader is Tony’s daughter. He expects her to take his side but she takes Steve’s side. Maybe bc she thinks it’s right idk? But she’s like “I love you dad, but you can’t ask me to not choose what I think is right”?? And maybe make it buckyxreader. Or maybe Steve? Or whoever it doesn’t matter. But I’ve had this in my mind for awhile and I figured I’d ask.

Summary: You’re a Stark, so people expect you to take your father’s side on everything. When the Sokovia Accords are presented, you have a choice to make: will you take your father’s side or the side you believe in? What will it do to your family?

Squares Filled: captain america for my second card of @star-spangled-bingo // rivarly for my second card of @avengersbingo // balconies/rooftops for my second card of @happystevebingo

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Being Tony’s daughter is something hard to live by. It holds a high standard for everyone who hears it. People expect you to show up to events, to be as smart as your father, to protect those when they ask, to be a hero even though you don’t know how to be one, and to make sacrifices that a normal eighteen-year-old wouldn’t dare to make. Being Tony’s daughter has put a lot of strain onto your life, but you knew one thing to be true: if you hadn’t been his daughter, you wouldn’t have met any of the people you live and work with.

And what wonderful people they are.

The person you grew closest to would have to be Natasha. She understands how suffocating Tony can be, so she offers you a place to rewind and let go of everything that is bothering you. She knows a bit too much about being trapped inside your own head, to have so many people relying on you to do the right thing and to show up and to be what they expect, and she takes that all away.

The person you love to have fun with is Bucky. He’s the one you go to when you need to get out of the house. Despite being trapped with HYRDA, he does know how to have a good time. He grew up in Brooklyn in the 1940s, he loves to dance, be outside, to hike, to be involved with nature in every way possible. He finds peace in doing that, and you love to join him.

The person you love to learn about magic is Wanda. She is always looking for an excuse to show off her powers, and you go to her whenever you want to learn about what she can do. She manipulates minds, and you admit to asking her to make you see what a world would be like if there were no problems and everyone is happy. It’s a delusion, but you just want to live at that moment even if it is for a few minutes. She’s loyal and trusting, and she’s a really good friend to count on.

The person you go to about knowledge is Thor. He knows everything about all the worlds in the Nine Realms. He introduced you to Heimdall who showed you what he can do. Thor is a crazy and silly friend, but his heart is always pure. He makes you laugh when you’re feeling sad, and you trust him with your life.

The person you go to about science is, of course, Bruce. The people you go to about athletic skills are Sam and Clint. The people you go to learn about the new world are Shuri and T’Challa. When you have an existential crisis is Vision. You have so many people to fall back on, and you are so grateful to have each of them in your life. Being Tony’s daughter allows you to have so many opportunities that not a lot of people are going to have.

Steve, though, well, he’s a completely different story. He’s all of those put together and more. He is your other half--when he hurts, you hurt. When he is passionate, you feel it too. When he cries, you want to sob. Everything you feel is because of him. He holds your heart like no one else does. He provides you with a home, safety, and comfort. You don’t just trust your life with the man, your life is the man. You live for him. You breathe for him. You fight for him. Everything you do is for him. Your love for him is so strong, you sometimes cry at night by yourself because you just get so overwhelmed with your feelings for him that it physically hurts.

You’re more like him in more ways than one. You have the exact same serum inside your body as he does, and that makes you the second Captain America to walk the face of the Earth. Everyone calls you Major America since you’re much younger than Steve, and Major is one rank below a Captain. As a joke, everyone thought it was funny to have your suit be just like his, but you’re not complaining. Captain America’s suit is very sexy and tight-fitting. Out of all the suits you’ve seen the team wear, Steve’s is the best. Although, you are a bit biased. Your love for him makes you think everything he does is sexy and right. You are caught in his web, and you’re not sure if you want to be untangled from it.

Yet, no one knows about you and him.

There are some suspicions, but nothing had been confirmed with most. Natasha, Vision, Thor, and Wanda know, but they don’t say anything about it. You tell Natasha everything, Wanda sees Steve in your mind when you picture complete happiness, Thor hears you ask Heimdall about Steve all the time when you’re with him, and Vision is just too smart not to know. They all keep your secret, but you’re not sure how much longer you two can go on without your father knowing.

You want to tell him, but you’re at a point in your life where you need to choose which side you want to be on; the side of justice or the side of family? The government wants to pass a thing called the “Sokovia Accords” that states they get to regulate people that have “superpowers” and dictate where they are needed and when they get to help. The events that led up to that were, of course, what happened in Sokovia with Ultron, the attack on New York with Loki and his alien army, the battle of Triskelion in Washington D.C when Bucky was the biggest threat there was at the time, and the most recent attack in Lagos, Nigeria between the Avengers and Brock Rumlow or Crossbones.

Tony picked the side the government is on along with Natasha, Rhodey, Vision, T’Challa, and the newest member, Peter Parker. Steve has the rest on his team. Everyone is waiting for you to make a decision, and it’s the worst decision you ever had to face. There is too much at state on either side, so you don’t exactly know what to do. Well, you do, but one of the two most important men in your life isn’t going to like it.

On one hand, Tony is your father, and he took you in after your mom died. He’s given you everything you could have ever dreamed of and more. He’s the best father a girl could ask for. He’s been there for you through thick and thin, and you owe him your life. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for that man.

On the other hand, Steve is the love of your life. Your soul combines with his making him the only person in the entire world who not only gets you but completely understands you. There are times where you don’t even have to say a word, and he knows what you’re going to say. It makes those emotional times go by very easily.

Your mind is telling you to pick your father’s side because he had your back and now its time for you to have his. However, your heart is telling you to pick Steve’s side because these accords will rip this team in two. Yes, a lot of people have died because of these attacks, but you also saved billions by preventing catastrophes. If it weren't for you and your team, there would be aliens killing all of New York with a psychotic maniac as their leader, Ultron would have wiped out humanity so that he could start fresh wit obedient robots at his feet, and many more attacks.

These accords aren’t what’s good for your team and humanity, and like you said earlier, one of two most important men in your life just isn’t going to be happy with what you pick.

“Y/N, it’s time to make a decision. Are you going to sign or not?” your father asks.

All eyes are on you inside the conference room. You’re legally allowed to make this kind of decision, and since you have the same serum in your body, you have a say whether or not these accords are going to be a law or not. Tears threaten to spill over your eyes as you grasp the paperwork in your hand. He’s going to hate you, you can feel it.

“Y/N?” Tony asks once more.

“I love you, Dad,” you begin with a cracked voice and end with a whisper, “but you can’t ask me to not choose what I think is right. I’m sorry, I��m not signing.”

You push the paper away just as a few tears rolled down your cheek. You can’t seem to look at your dad in the eyes because you know you’ll see the hurt, anger, and betrayal you have left on his soul. Steve knows how hard this is on you, so he takes matters into his own hands.

“You’re not being serious right now, right?” your dad asks angrily.

“Tony don’t do this. You know she did what she thought was right,” Steve steps in.

“Like hell, she isn’t. She’s only doing this because she’s fucking you,” he snaps.

More tears spill over your eyes as you got up and hastily leave the room. This is painful as it is, you don’t need your father telling everyone that he thinks you only did this because you’re shacking up with the head leader of the other side. You don’t know where you’re going, but as soon as you take a step outside, you let out a loud sob. You’ve walked right onto a balcony, and you’re grateful no one is going to see you breaking down. Your knees buckle and you almost fall, but familiar and strong arms catch you before you hit the ground.

“He hates me,” you sob into Steve’s chest.

He brings you over to one of the patio chairs and sets you down on it.

“He doesn’t hate you,” Steve sighs.

“I can’t choose his side. I can’t believe that these accords are a good thing for us. Fighting against them is the right thing to do, and I hoped he’d just see that. I didn't even know he knew. God!” you sob more.

Steve doesn’t know what to say that would make you feel better right now. Instead, he decides to hold you, comb his fingers through your hair, and make sure you know that he isn’t going anywhere right now. It’s not fair how your father is treating you, but he’s going to make sure you understand you have someone on your team to back you up.

These accords are a bad thing, and if you can get everyone on your father’s side to see that, then maybe you can start the process of healing.

However, you know you’re never going to get to that stage because just like you, your father is a very stubborn man. You’re not sure what’s going to happen with the two of you after this is over. One side has to win; you just hope it doesn’t destroy the relationship you have with your dad.

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arukou-arukou · 4 years ago

Text

A Non-zero Chance

I jumbled the timeline as I was writing this. Just go with it, okay? For @stevetonygames prompt Fluff: Sparring, for team angst. Also adding fic non-linear and tropes: soulmates. Angst with a hopeful ending. Mentions of sex acts. Canon typical violence. There is a read more line after the first section.

Many many months after that faithful day in Sibera, Tony returned to the scene of the crime. The site was untouched. He hadn’t told Ross about it, and apparently T’Challa had decided well enough was better left alone. The holes they’d put into the bunker of the facility had completely covered over in frost and ice, and Tony had to wonder how Zemo had even dug the little hillock out in the first place. Though there had been a snowcat parked outside when they all first arrived. Without any care, though, it had once again faded into the arctic surroundings. Only someone who knew what they were looking for would find it.

Tony broke in through the holes rather than the front door. He wasn’t really in a mood for digging, and as satisfying as it might be to melt snow with an overloaded repulsor, this mission was also supposed to be stealth and secretive, and he didn’t really need Ross any further up his ass.

Inside, the evidence of their fight wasn’t as big or horrifying as he remembered. There were some structures that had toppled, and a few spots where he’d scorched cement with a repulsor, but it didn’t look nearly as bad as he remembered it being. The Avengers had certainly done worse elsewhere. Tony ran his hand over a shield-shaped crack in the wall.

—

“This is ridiculous, Cap, we need to know how to fight together, not fight each other.”

Steve smiles back over his shoulder. His ridiculously broad shoulder. “After Wanda mind-whammied us, I’m not taking any chances. We should all know how to incapacitate each other just as a precaution.”

“Only incapacitate, Steve? Not maim?”

Steve chuckles and starts strapping on boxing tape. “No maiming on the docket today. Maybe next Tuesday.”

—

Tony followed their trail of destruction back into the heart of the bunker, where the super soldiers still rested suspended, illuminated in sickly yellow. There was the fucking TV, right there. The thing that had ruined it all. Tony stared down at it, wondering where the tape reel itself was located. Probably back in that room Zemo had been hiding in. The bulletproof one. Somewhere in the hallways, Tony could hear water dripping. Impressive, really, given the permafrost all around. He would’ve thought the systems had frozen over long ago. Near his foot, there was a gun, the semi-automatic Barnes had been carrying. It was useless now, its clip and firing mechanisms slagged by his repulsors. He picked it up all the same and aimed it at the glass where Zemo had hidden. The suit’s fingers were too thick to fit over the trigger—what was left of it anyway—so Tony just imagined how satisfying it would be to fill that glass full of shrapnel, to watch Zemo crumple to the ground.

—

“Why are you even training me, Rogers? I’m retired. Aren’t you supposed to be looking after the rookies?”

“Just because you’re retired, Tony, doesn’t mean trouble won’t come looking for you. You’re a pretty attractive target.”

“Why yes. Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing.”

Steve punches his bicep gently before offering a bottle of water. Tony takes it, squirting some into his mouth before moving on to his sweat-drenched hair. On Steve’s left wrist, he catches sight of the red band that hides Steve’s words. It would be rude to ask. Totally taboo. But Tony can’t stop himself.

—

Tony managed to jimmy his way into the control room, and there he found the VCR, still loaded with the incriminating tape. If he were smart, he would just rip the thing apart, burn the tape and shatter the shell. And Tony was smart. Just not smart in the right ways. He fired up the power to the TV, rewound the tape, and then hit play again. He’d rewound too far. Barnes was in his cryo tube. Some slimy scientists were hauling him out, shoving him into some horrifying chair, pushing down the nodes, saying the words.

No. Tony didn’t want this. He didn’t want to feel sympathy for Barnes. He wanted to let his rage fester and corrode him until he didn’t care anymore. All caring had ever gotten him was betrayal.

—

“Do you know who they belong to?” Tony asks, looking up defiantly, refusing to be sheepish about his lack of willpower. Steve glances down at his band before looking up again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He looks wistful and boyish, sweet and beautiful. Tony wants to kiss away the sorrow he sees in that face.

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s dead now.”

“Oh.” Tony touches his own band, thinking of the words beneath. He’s my friend. The most significant thing anyone will ever say to him. The thing that, if the romantics would have him believe it, points him toward his soulmate. He’s never really gone in for that, though. His parents had had each other’s words, and their marriage was anything but blissful and romantic.

No. Tony’s got a different theory about the words.

—

There. Tony spotted it before even knowing he was looking for it. On Barnes’ collarbone. Had fate known he would lose the arm? It was unusual for words to be somewhere else on the body. Non-dominant wrist. That was the norm. The tap quality was shit and Tony couldn’t enhance it without bringing the tape back to Fry. And like hell he was bringing the tape home. Were the files somewhere? Hadn’t Zemo had a book? Maybe it was here?

Tony searched the control room, trying to find evidence of the thing Zemo had used to control Barnes. There was no sign of it, but what there were were dozens of filing drawers, all of them covered in a layer of dust. Tony started digging.

—

Steve’s off his game today, Tony can tell. He’s distracted by something, mind not in the ring, and Tony takes advantage. Just like Steve and Nat taught him to. He sweeps Steve’s leg, rolls on top of him, pins his leg in a position that's precariously dangerous even for a supersoldier, and applies weight. “Yield?”

It’s late, the halls are quiet. Tony hadn’t even meant to do sparring with Steve today, but Steve had asked, so Tony had delayed his return to New York City and well, the late hour puts his mind elsewhere.

Their eyes lock. Tony’s still on top of Steve, holding him in place, threatening his knee joint. Between one breath and the next, their positions are flipped, Steve on top of Tony, both of them hard, teeth clacking. Tony doesn’t make it back to New York City that night.

—

What felt like hours later, Tony finally discovered what looked like a medical log. He’d been trying to learn Russian, but adding a new script was harder than adding a spoken language, and he was a busy man, what with covering Rogers’ ass every other day. Natasha might have been a master spy, but Steve was a puppy who hadn’t learned how to control his tail wag yet, and he left destroyed crockery in his wake. There was always some trail to some terrorist or smuggler or weapons dealer that needed cleaning up, lest Ross take notice. The point being, Tony’s Russian wasn’t exactly sparkling.

But he’d double-checked ahead of time to know what he was looking for and now he was pretty sure he’d found it. Flipping through the file, Tony found what he wanted to know almost instantly. ‘Til the end of the line. The words. Those words.

—

It’s a thing. Sort of. Tony comes to the compound. They spar. They fuck. It’s only their third time sleeping together that Steve drags him into the shower, wristband conspicuously absent. Tony touches the thin skin, for once asking permission before he looks down. Steve nods, trusting, contented. I’m with you to the end of the line, pal. “He” Steve had said. Tony doesn’t need to ask to know who “he” is. There was only one really important “he” in Steve’s life way back when. And it makes sense, too. After all, Barnes plunged to his death trying to protect Steve and Steve had tried to protect him just as hard. Of course they’re important to each other.

“Can I see yours,” Steve asks, kissing Tony’s band. Fair’s fair, Tony thinks to himself, and nods.

Steve gently unclasps the snaps and sets the band aside outside the shower. He looks down at the words and then up at Tony with a silent question. “I don’t know whose they are.”

“And you’re still okay with us?”

“Steve, I’m standing naked in a shower with you. I’m pretty damn okay with this.”

The bright grin Steve gives him feels like a gift.

—

Tony left, hauling the tape and the filing cabinets behind him. They would be useful sooner or later, he was sure. And it felt so important, hauling his literal baggage along with him back to the US. Well, first a pit stop in Wakanda so Shuri could make copies. Fry flew the quinjet on autopilot, which was maybe a mistake. Tony needed distractions and all he had were files rendered in Russian, which were frankly giving him a headache. He wanted to hate Barnes so much. But fate was literally sending him a message. Barnes. Rogers. ‘Til the end of the line.

Eventually, frustrated, he managed to sink into a fitful sleep, which took him to Wakanda’s borders. T’Challa sent along an escort at the shield wall to make sure Tony was alone and also to make sure Tony didn’t cause any undue trouble. As if he could manage anything more than a nervous breakdown at the moment. Shuri was waiting for him on the platform, and for her and her brilliant mind, he managed a tired smile.

“Brought a present for you.”

“Thank you, Tony. I would get them myself, but—”

“No, no. You’re busy in Oakland kicking science ass and shooting layups with the youth. Let the old guy take care of the analog—” Tony shuddered theatrically “—files.”

Shuri smiled more brightly and kissed him on the cheek. “You look tired. Go see my mother. She’ll be wanting to mother you.”

“I shouldn’t. I’ve gotta—”

“My brother has already ensured that General Ross cannot find you. Go. Eat some food. Get some rest. Perhaps we can talk about your latest arc reactor designs in the morning. I have some ideas.”

“I bet you do.”

Tony knew when he’d been dismissed, and he also knew he was being handled a little, but it felt nice to be handled. It felt nice to not have to be trying to outwit Ross at every turn for a little while. So he allowed Ramonda to stuff him full of delicious, spicy food and then shuffled off to the guest wing, intent on getting at least four hours before he took off.

But the second he laid down, he was awake and restless, unable to settle. His thoughts kept going back to those files, going back to the “end of the line,” thinking again and again about the letters carved into Steve’s skin. How many times had he kissed that wrist? How many times had Steve kissed his? How was it fair, that Steve would be Tony’s words, but Tony wouldn’t be Steve’s?

Fed up, he yanked on a pair of loose cotton pants and a loose cotton T-shirt and wandered the palace, looking for distraction. None of the guards stopped him, though they watched him with considerable distrust. He didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t trust him either. Not anymore. It was only when he heard the sound of skin slapping leather that he stopped short. That sounded like… But it couldn’t be. All the same, he pushed through the door, freezing as he discovered a huge training ground, Steve inside, alone at a punching bag.

Steve froze too, and the bag caught him on the backswing, smacking him straight in the nose. Tony found himself caught between laughing and rushing forward with concern, and ended up doing a bit of both, snorting as he approached, though he remained well out of Steve’s personal bubble. “Smooth, Cap.”

“Tony, what are you doing here?”

Tony scuffed his toes into the mats, which felt solid right up until he kicked them and then gave way like kinetic sand. It felt heavenly and he wanted to play with it and see what it was made out of. “Oh, you know. Just dropped in for a cuppa with the King.”

“Did…did you bring those files?” Steve remained sprawled on the floor, looking up at him, a trickle of blood trailing from his nose.

“And if I did?”

Steve swallowed heavily, rubbing at the blood and smearing it. And then he was up, faster than Tony could react to, holding Tony, kissing him sloppily through mumbled “I’m sorry’s.” Tony didn’t know how to react. Was this what an out-of-body experience felt like? He remained motionless even as Steve broke away, jumping back, looking more unsure than he’d looked since he and Tony first met. “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… You don’t want…” Steve took a huge breath and squared his shoulders, looking Tony in the eye. “That was wrong of me. I hurt you. In so many ways. It was wrong of me to kiss you.”

“Also pretty sure you’re cheating on your boyfriend if you kiss me. Don’t forget that bit.”

The little line between Steve’s eyebrows deepened. “Bucky and I, we’re not… We’re just not. I thought we would. But I can’t. Every time I tried, I felt like I was betraying you. And Bucky felt like it was wrong, too. We didn’t…we didn’t click. Not romantically, anyway.”

“You’re not…” Tony could barely dare to let himself to hope. “Didn’t you back in the war, though?”

“No. No, we didn’t. It was too much, running missions, fighting Hydra. Plus, he was afraid I’d get caught and outed. So we didn’t. I should’ve told you. But I didn’t think it mattered.”

All the thoughts Tony used to have about the words, the idea that maybe they had nothing at all to do with romance, came back to him. He ran a finger over his own wrist, where Steve’s words were hidden.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve stood there, square, looking as though he was waiting to be punched, ready to take his punishment like a man.

“Wanna spar?”

#writing #fanfiction #steve/tony #stony #angst with a happy ending #team angst

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