#rip sam kinison

[duranduratulsa]

Now showing on DuranDuranTulsa's Television 📺 Showcase...Tales From The Crypt: For Cryin' Out Loud (1990) on classic DVD 📀! #tv #television #horror #talesfromthecrypt #forcryinoutloud #thecryptkeeper #johnkassir #kateysegal #iggypop #samkinison #ripsamkinison #alwhite #DVD #90s #durandurantulsa #durandurantulsastelevisionshowcase

[greensparty]

RIP Paul Reubens 1952-2023

I've been out sick this past week, so less time blogging. I briefly wrote about the passing of comic genius and gifted actor Paul Reubens at the age of 70, but here is my expanded remembrance.

Reubens

Paul Reubens came up in the 1970s comedy scene in L.A. as a member of the The Groundlings. He and fellow Groundling, the late great Phil Hartman, worked on a lot of characters together. In 1978, Reubens created the character of Pee-Wee Herman, a man-child dressed in a suit and bowtie. It slowly started to catch on and soon enough he got an early HBO special in 1981's The Pee-Wee Herman Show. I rented it years later and it was wildly entertaining. Reubens himself had small roles in The Blues Brothers, an episode of Mork & Mindy, Cheech & Chong movies, and more.

Hartman and Reubens on Pee-Wee's Playhouse

In the 80s, there were a lot of comedians who created characters who were celebrities in and of themselves and the comedian was rarely seen outside of that character, i.e. Cassandra Peterson (a fellow Groundling of Reubens) as Elvira or Jim Varney as Ernest P. Worrell. Pee-Wee Herman was among the biggest of those comedic characters. When he appeared on MTV, hosted SNL, or was a guest on talk shows, it was Pee-Wee Herman who was the guest, not Reubens. But the character of Pee-Wee was so engaging: he was childish and but was wildly funny with physical comedy, and there was a real heart to him and had a moral compass that was admirable (i.e. running into a burning pet shop to save all of the animals). The 1980s was an era of comedians who had a unique voice literally and figuratively, i.e. Sam Kinison, Bobcat Goldthwaite, Emo Phillips, Gilbert Gottfried, and Judy Tenuta just to name a few. But Reubens was possibly the most unique voice of all of them.

Reubens in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

In Summer 1985, my Dad took me to the movies to see Pee-wee's Big Adventure , which was a true meeting of the minds of young director Tim Burton making his debut and Reubens. The plot was so simple, but yet it worked: Pee-Wee's bike gets stolen so he has to go across country to find it and along the way there's loads of hijinks and LOL scenes. To this day visitors of the Alamo ask where the basement is! The film is highly quotable and it's also a movie that everyone I knew my age also knew and loved. In the years that followed Pee-Wee had cameos in a number of films including Back to the Beach, Moonwalker, and Flight of the Navigator, which technically wasn't Pee-Wee it was Paul under the pseudonym Paul Mall, but the voice was obviously Pee-Wee. The follow-up movie was Big Top Pee-wee, in which Pee-Wee has a small farm and the circus comes to town, shaking up his relationship. The movie wasn't as bad as a lot of people thought, but it lacked the pure artifice of the last movie. I think people also didn't want to see a movie where Pee-Wee cheats on his fiancee for a acrobat...just not what you expect from a Pee-Wee movie and Tim Burton not directing hurt.

Pee-Wee and friends

But the Pee-Wee character really shined on TV, in the Saturday morning kids' show Pee-wee's Playhouse (CBS 1986-1991). I was still of the age of loving Saturday morning cartoons and shows when it premiered and it was loads of fun: Pee-Wee's wacky and fun playhouse surrounded with various friends, screaming the secret word, being imaginative, and learning from each other was worth tuning in each week. I loved the show and in 1988, I even began buying some episodes as they were released on VHS. I also began buying the toys, talking doll and memorabilia (sometime in the mid-00s I sold my collection to a friend). The genius in the show was that it was super funny, but without being hurtful or mean-spirited. So many talents got their start on the show too: Lawrence Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis, Natasha Lyonne, and behind the scenes you had music by Mark Mothersbaugh, and before-they-were-famous production assistants John Singleton and Rob Zombie. The series became so popular that in 1988, they even did a primetime special Christmas at Pee-wee's Playhouse.

Pee-Wee's Playhouse toys I had as a kid

It's impossible to talk about Reubens without his controversies and run-ins with the law. In 1991, he was arrested for indecent exposure during an undercover police raid of an adult theater in Sarasota, FL. CBS pulled the remaining reruns of Playhouse, toys were pulled from Toys R Us, his voice was pulled from rides at Disney. He was cancelled way before there was cancel culture. True, he was a children's show host on TV at that time. But he wasn't in character or costume and he was inappropriate in, well, an inappropriate place...which in a strange way made it kind of appropriate given the inappropriate location. Whatever your opinion is, he got a raw deal. As a TV host and on the set of his show, he was very good with kids and had really positive lessons. What he did was private and separate from the Pee-Wee character. But Reubens had the last laugh when he presented the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards to uproarious applause and asked "heard any good jokes lately?".

Denis Leary, Ted Demme and Reubens at the Blow premiere in 2001

Reubens did slowly return in some supporting roles separate from Pee-Wee and many of them were scene-stealers: as Penguin's father in Batman Returns, as a vampire in the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer (one of the greatest vampire deaths ever), the voice of Lock in The Nightmare Before Christmas, as Spleen in the underrated Mystery Men, and as Derek Foreal in Ted Demme's Blow. As Derek, he was the comic relief in the crime biopic, but he also showed off his dramatic skills too. A few years prior to the 2001 release, I was an intern at Demme’s production company Spanky Pictures and the book it was based on was in development. I was blown away by Reubens' performance when I saw the movie.

In 2002 as Reubens' second act was in full swing, another arrest was made, this time it was child pornography charges. Reubens had a apparently purchased bulk collectible magazines of kitsch muscle magazines from the 1920s and some he didn't order were slipped in. I am not defending him, but I think there is an extreme difference between this type of thing and actual criminals like Kevin Spacey or R. Kelly. In 2004, the charges were dropped in exchange for a lesser obscenity charge.

Apatow and Reubens

In the years that followed, Reubens continued to have some small supporting roles including The Raconteurs' music video for "Steady as She Goes", as well as episodes of 30 Rock and Portlandia. Then something happened in the 2010s: Pee-Wee came back! First in some Funny or Die videos Pee-Wee Gets an iPad! and Pee-wee Goes to Sturgis. He, then, did a Pee-Wee live show in L.A. and then Broadway and one of the last ones became the live HBO special The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway. There was also the funny SNL sketch with Andy Samberg where they got drunk on the town together. Interest in Pee-Wee continued and in 2016, there was the Netflix special Pee-wee's Big Holiday, produced by Judd Apatow. I can't say that was bad, but the bar was quite high and it was hard to live up to the nostalgia.

Reubens himself was a comic genius. That's a term I rarely use, but it is fitting for him. He understood comedy and in the last week people who knew comedy have praised him. He had a lot to do with my early interest in comedy. His films, TV and wacky (almost drug-induced) style will be remembered. Between MTV News shutting down and the deaths of Andy Rourke of The Smiths, Sinead O'Connor and now Paul Reubens it is a bad year for nostalgic Gen-Xers like me. But fortunately Reubens' work will live on!

[tvguidancecounselor]

TV Guidance Counselor Episode 648: Adam Newman

March, 11 - 1995

This week Ken welcomes comedian, and man behind the new special "Jew Verses the Volcano", Adam Newman.

Ken and Adam discuss their mutual obsession with guitars, Sam Kinison, getting into magic, being awkward, learning card tricks out of spite, Dealt, Penn & Teller Fool Us, The X-Files, Dorfin', If I Did It, the OJ Simpson Trial, final meals, commemorative plates, American Gladiators rip offs, final meals, Roller Blades, figure skating, Blue Chips, sports movies, Shaq, Nick Nolte, Slapshot, Valerie Harper's version of "The Office", The Higgins Boys and Gruber, Joan Rivers Live in London, Comics Unleashed, taping an episode that airs TEN YEARS later, Dolph Lundgren's Punisher, Masters of the Universe, The Cosmic Key, John Tesh live at Red Rocks, Tim Robinson, Tim Busfield, Dabney Coleman, how we watch TV in hotel rooms, Death on the Job, Newbury Comics, Fanuel Hall, Mottley's, Erin Judge's Dress Up Show,J Jeff Foxworthy, The Beavis and Butthead Do America Soundtrack, Cartoons and real people getting together, Fox New Spring Season, Medicine Ball, Donal Logue, comics in cover bands, Primus, Black Hole Sun, Guitar Center riffs, Richard Grieco spending the night with a centerfold, religious cults, Peter Jennings, Sov Citizens, "First Amendment Auditors", YouTube recommendations, Rescue 9-11, Boy Meets World, Jonathan Gries, non-Gillian Anderson episodes of The X-Files, wanting to sit in your hotel room and play guitar, Dwayne Barry, loving Bonnie Hunt, compilations of depressing things, loving to see bad guys get theirs and Ken HIGHLY recommending the Equalizer films.

[littletroubledgrrrl]

I’m dressed up as this man right now.

[rawiswhore]

Rowdy Roddy Piper x Fem Reader- "Flash Forward"

This has to arguably be my corniest, cringeworthy fanfiction I've written so far.

But...this is a fantasy I've had, and I hope I'm not disrespecting Rowdy Roddy Piper with this fanfic by typing and posting it on his birthday...

____________________________________________________________

A lot of professional wrestlers during the 1980's weren't really pretty boys and sex symbols in the looks department.

However, there is one pro wrestler from the 80's that's an exception, and he is one of the most iconic wrestlers of the 1980's (and of all time in general): Rowdy Roddy Piper.

He got even cuter and dare I say it, sexier during the end of the 80's and early 90's when his hair grew longer, especially when he didn't have those bangs over his forehead.

In the 80's and early 90's, the World Wrestling Federation as it was known then didn't have hardly any profanity, almost no sexual content besides the Ravishing Rick Rude, barely any bleeding, didn't have wrestlers breaking tables set on fire or falling off of the tops of cages and landing in thumb tacks, and didn't have wrestlers playing porn stars, pimps, sex addicts, or even rappers that say politically incorrect insults.

The WWF was like a live action Saturday morning cartoon aimed at kids during the 1980's, but...it was still over AF back then.

What it means to be "over" in the wrestling world is something wrestling audiences really enjoy; and the WWF was really popular during the 1980's despite not having Attitude and Ruthless Aggression era-esque content.

Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper and the Ultimate Warrior were massive draws in the 1980's and early 90's without swearing, throwing middle fingers, drinking beer, or anything else "adult like", Hulk even tried sending positive messages to kids with drinking milk and saying prayers, and these were wrestlers that were household names, popular enough to cross over into pop culture, appeared on talk shows, and people got out of their seats and cheered loudly for them.

The WWF in the 80's was proof that you could still be over and popular without having R-rated content.

However, during one moment in the late 1980's WWF, there was a particular moment that wasn't quite so family friendly and kid friendly, and even a bit Attitude and Ruthless Aggression era like.

During the late 1980's, Rowdy Roddy Piper no longer had his iconic Piper's Pit interview segment, but instead would sometimes appear on Prime Time Wrestling in the WWF, where wrestling commentators would speak behind a table and it looked like a news program.

That'll do just fine for your little plan.

Rowdy Piper had grown his hair longer by the end of the 1980's, and he looked so much more handsome with long hair.

During a segment on Prime Time Wrestling in 1989, Rowdy Roddy Piper had hosted it and didn't have any little bangs clinging to his forehead.

He looked so handsome like this and you told him you didn't want him to have bangs during this segment.

You had your hair teased and hairsprayed, this was the 1980's, and wore a midriff bearing halter top and short little denim shorts that reached the tops of your thighs.

There's a reason why you wore this.

This moment of Prime Time Wrestling was filmed for television, and you set next to Rowdy Roddy Piper while he was rambling about something.

You were just staring at him, grinning and thirsting over him and how hot he looks, biting your bottom lip and looking like you wanted to fuck him.

You didn't wear red lipstick in this segment because you're afraid if you bite your lip, you'll get red lipstick on your teeth, although you're worried you'll get lipstick on your teeth in general.

The other person Rowdy Roddy Piper was talking to noticed you looking at Hot Rod, mentioning how you're staring at Roddy like you want him.

Eventually, you leaned into the little microphone in front of you and put one of your hands on Roddy's shoulder, telling him he's really cute.

Pretty soon, the camera focused solely on Rowdy Roddy Piper sitting down behind a table as well as you, not the other person the Hot Rod was talking to, the camera filling the entire television screen with the room Roddy and you were sitting in.

You had then lifted your feet off of the floor and placed them on the chair you were sitting on, standing on the chair and then placing one of your feet on the table in front of you, then the other foot on the table.

Roddy's eyes grew wide seeing you now standing on the table, and your back was turned in front of the camera while your torso and head were in front of Rowdy Roddy Piper.

You began to slowly sway your hips back and forth horizontally, swaying your hips to some sexy mood music that fit the pace of your dancing, you were trying to sexually arouse the Hot Rod.

Rowdy Roddy Piper had an ear-to-ear smile spreading across his face while you danced for him, his eyes looked at you, thank goodness he was standing behind a table to hide his boner.

Even though this wasn't filmed, your fingers were grabbing onto the bottom of your top and started lifting it up your torso more and more, and Rowdy's eyes were staring at your hands, he knew what was up next.

'Tis a shame that the camera isn't filming your torso, however...

As your top elevated up your torso more and more, pretty soon, the bottom of your top was over your breasts, showing your barenaked tits in front of Rowdy Roddy Piper, flashing him.

You didn't have a bra underneath your top or even nipple pasties, but you were showing the Hot Rod what Jerry Lawler would eventually nickname "puppies".

Roddy's eyes grew wide and wild seeing your tits, he had a huge ear to ear smile plastered and spread across his face.

You flashing Rowdy Roddy Piper predated when Drew Barrymore flashed David Letterman in 1995.

(Author's note: yes, this fanfic is inspired by when Drew flashed David, since David has his iconic late night talk show and Rowdy Roddy Piper had his Piper's Pit interview segment...)

Unlike Drew, it wasn't a quick little blip where she quickly lifted the bottom of her top, flashed her tits and then covered her boobs, you showed Roddy your breasts for quite some time.

Not just that, but you wiggled your breasts a little bit back and forth, as well as slightly bounced and jiggled your breasts.

You then got off of the table and straddled onto Rowdy Roddy's lap, where you can feel his erection under his kilt.

You removed your hands off of the bottom of your shirt and put them on the sides of his face, where you pulled him into your face and locked his lips in between yours.

His eyes were slightly bugging out and looking at the camera while you kissed him, whereas your eyes were closed.

Surprisingly, he isn't trying to push you off of him, no, he likes this.

You want to do more than just kiss him and flash him your boobs, and your hands moved from his face to his shirt collar, where you tried to rip and tear apart his iconic Hot Rod shirt a la Hulk Hogan.

Would he be angry if you did that to his signature, iconic shirt?

Rowdy Roddy Piper used to disrespect and troll people all the time, sometimes saying things that were downright problematic and shocking.

You feel a little horrible deep down inside for tearing apart such a wonderful shirt, but goddamn it, you want him, and your hands tore the middle of his shirt, more of his skin was showing under his shirt.

The camera eventually cut away from this, just in case things get too naughty.

Despite the WWF's Golden era of the 80's and early 90's being a family friendly era, this moment wasn't so particularly kid friendly and quite risqué.

Though, compared to Katie Vick, Jacqueline in thong swimsuits that left little to the imagination, Sable showing her breasts covered in handprints, and the Kat flashing her puppies to the audience, this moment is tame.

The WWF's Attitude era was an era that was popular around the same time Jerry Springer's infamous talk show, Jenny Jones and Ricki Lake's talk shows, Howard Stern, "South Park", Tom Green, Marilyn Manson, Lil' Kim and Eminem at his most shocking were all at the heights of their popularity, these things being notorious for being trashy shock value pop culture.

And guess what? The WWF during its Attitude era was very shocking and dare I say it, trashy.

However, during the late 80's and early 90's, Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison were popular and controversial comedians infamous for their vulgar, obscene comedy (that was considered shocking even back then), 2 Live Crew were a popular and heavily controversial rap group notorious for their sexually explicit, pornographic lyrics that got them banned in their native Florida, Madonna was at her most hypersexualized during the early 1990's, Morton Downey Jr. and Geraldo Rivera had infamous talk shows that were predecessors to "The Jerry Springer Show", and so many hair metal bands sexually objectified women.

Maybe in the late 80's and early 90's the WWF could've had an Attitude era-esque era back then.

Actually, if you think about it, Rowdy Roddy Piper was a bit of a predecessor to the WWF's Attitude era; with his trash talking, insulting others and even saying and doing some things that are politically incorrect and problematic nowadays.

[oasisguitar]

10 Heaviest Metal Songs

Most people agree that Black Sabbath were the first heaviest metal band. And perhaps they were. But that doesn't imply they were the first to write a heaviest metal song. Because, while Ozzy and co. elevated the concept of intense, sinister music performed by evil-looking dudes to new sonic and visual heights, there were plenty of unsettling sounds designed to frighten the bejesus out of listeners long before Tony Iommi's deathly Black Sabbath tritone riff signalled the end (or the beginning?) of the musical world as we know it.

Source: Getty Images

These are the 10 heaviest metal songs

Wild Thing by The Troggs (1966) https://youtu.be/gSWInYFVksg Wild Thing was first recorded in a folky tone by American outfit The Wild Ones in 1965, but in the hands of British heaviest metal band The Troggs the following year, it transformed into a proto-garage-punk rave-up with a banging, three-chord pattern, hyper-sexualized voice, and, well, ocarina solo. From Jimi Hendrix's fiery (literally, he set his Strat ablaze at the climax) feedback-laced performance of the song at the Monterey Pop Festival in '68, to The Runaways' and X's punky takes, to Bruce Springsteen's stomping, arena-shaking live renditions, this version became the heaviest metal template going forward. This heaviest metal song is so solid, and the riff so catchy, that even comic Sam Kinison's filthy hair-metal parody couldn't undo it - not completely. Also read about 50 easy acoustic guitar songs. Helter Skelter by The Beatles (1968) https://youtu.be/kLWSQRNnGY8 According to tradition, Paul McCartney was inspired to write Helter Skelter after reading an interview in which Pete Townshend described his own band's I Can See for Miles as the "dirtiest, filthiest" song they'd ever produced. The song's distorted, dissonant guitars, thudding bass, and shredded vocals not only out-dirty Pete, but also foreshadow and inspire decades of heaviness to come. Since then, everyone from Mötley Crüe to Rob Zombie to Marilyn Manson (and, of course, Manson's namesake, Charles) has used it. Furthermore, The Beatles' alternate Second Version / Take 17 recording, unearthed for the White Album's 50th anniversary release, is an even wilder journey. "Keep that one," Paul says on the track. "Mark it fantastic." You should pay attention to what the man says. Communication Breakdown in Led Zeppelin (1969) https://youtu.be/ZnfgRfhdpeQ To be honest, any number of songs - Whole Lotta Love, Dazed and Confused - might fill the Zeppelin slot on this list. But the award for sheer bone-crushing intensity goes to Communication Breakdown, whose machine-gun heaviest metal shock riff not only provided as a pattern for a billion speed metal bands to come, but also sounds eerily similar to the one Sabbath created for Paranoid a year later. Furthermore, while Zep weren't the only late-Sixties group moving blues into a darker world, they accomplished it better - and, not insignificantly, faster - than their competitors with this piece. Kick Out The Jams by MC5 (1969) https://youtu.be/OXxsyhpTeJQ Rob Tyner's opening volley of "Kick out the jams, motherfuckers!" would be enough to get this proto-punk anthem on the list. It helps that what follows isn't Tiptoe Through the Tulips. Rather, it's two and a half minutes of the most boisterous and rip-snorting riffage and electric-shock soloing ever captured on tape, courtesy of Wayne Kramer and Fred "Sonic" Smith. That vulgarity got the album (recorded live at Detroit's Grande Ballroom) banned and taken off the shops. What could be more metal than that? Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf (1968) https://youtu.be/egMWlD3fLJ8 It wasn't the first time the terms "heaviest metal" were used, but for most music fans, this is where the term originated. Plus, vocalist John Kay follows it with the word "thunder," which adds to the bad-ass factor. That being said, the title refrain is pretty heaviest metal in and of itself, and while Steppenwolf were never particularly "heavy," this song brought it all together with a chugging low-E string riff, raspy vocal, and shout-it-out-loud chorus that foreshadowed the sort of road-dog rockers that bands like Judas Priest and Motörhead would ride to glory years later. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by The Jimi Hendrix Experience (1968) https://youtu.be/IZBlqcbpmxY Jimi's huge, earthshaking heaviest metal riffs and wailing leads appear to pour down from the heavens, leaving nothing but a charred wasteland in their wake. The song's sheer aural energy is stunning, and it's an early demonstration of how far a rock musician could carry the blues - which, in a sense, and in a very different way, is what Black Sabbath set out to do in their early days. I Want to Be Your Dog by The Stooges (1969) https://youtu.be/3gsWt7ey6bo Even now, more than a half-century later, I Wanna Be Your Dog feels impossibly harsh, nasty, and downright dangerous. The song is one big drone-y, dirge-y death-rumble, encapsulating Iggy's demented take on the blues, from the dark, descending chord progression to the buzz-saw guitar of Ron Asheton (who, along with his brother and drummer, Scott, were once referred to by head Stooge Iggy Pop as "the laziest, delinquent sorts of pig slobs ever born"). And the lewd lyrics, one-note piano trill, and, uh, sleigh bells only add to the absurdity. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida - Iron Butterfly (1968) https://youtu.be/UIVe-rZBcm4 People often mock In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, but as any heaviest metal band worth their long hair, leather, and pointed guitars can tell you, people often mock what they don't comprehend. Forget about the superfluous 17-minute length. Forget about the title being a drunken parody of In the Garden of Eden. Forget that the band performing it is called Iron Butterfly. The combined guitar-and-organ heaviest metal riff is as dark, threatening, and downright groovy as anything laid down by Deep Purple, Uriah Heep, or any other keys-drenched heavy group. Still not convinced? Then ask Slayer, who delivered a scorching rendition to the soundtrack of 1987's Less Than Zero. Mandrake Root - Deep Purple (1968) https://youtu.be/4WZoBFtqtf0 The opening half of this early Deep Purple epic is fairly hefty, at least in the late-Sixties British blues-rock style. But Mandrake Root really takes off in the middle instrumental section, when drummer Ian Paice and bassist Nick Simper whip up the tempo and lay the groundwork for Ritchie Blackmore to finish the proceedings with some full-on psych-metal licks, growls, and howls, as well as a bit of neoclassical flair for good measure. What was the weight of it? Heavy enough to be one of the very few early Purple cuts played by the famous MkII heaviest metal band of the 1970s. And if you can find one on YouTube, those versions are a lovely, instrument-abusing sight to behold. Old Man Going by The Pretty Things (1968) https://youtu.be/mg5t7T5_rR8 The initial 40 seconds of acoustic strumming in Old Man Going sound like Pinball Wizard before Pinball Wizard (and the concept album from which it derives, S.F. Sorrow, has been recognised as an influence on The Who's Tommy, even though The Who have disagreed). But after that, Old Man Going blossoms with proto-Sabbathian beauty, most notably in Dick Taylor's doomy power chord riffing and, most notably, in Phil May's vocal, which, upon its release in 1968, any listener would have quickly deemed incredibly Ozzy-like - except that Ozzy, at least as we know him, didn't actually exist yet. Read the full article

[jernostrapig]

======

Denis Leary - No Cure For Cancer

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5q5dyx

No Cure For Cancer P2  (The end bit)

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5q5dzw

======

Hey there Pulchritudinous Fascination.'

''Denis Leary - No Cure For Ripping Off Bill Hicks'' you say. Hmmm? It's a pertinent point well put. And of course, you're not wrong. (Your page is great by the way).

I'm old enough to be aware of the... 'connoisseur's of stand up’ mafia,  arguing the toss,' about it back in the 90's. And pointing the finger' about whom stole what, etc.

Me. I like both of 'em. Two totally different styles in my view.

But. Off the top of my head. I think Sam Kinison, Billy Connolly, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce etc and a host of, other 'greats' (even at grass roots level, there's one in your town). All may have a witty comment or two, about that.  

Keep on keepin' on.

[mysticryder]

Randomness.... Sam Kinison... RIP https://www.instagram.com/p/B6iQXTdleig/?igshid=uq0w7xxqj57i

[chroniclesofawkwardness]

Fear the Bear

I’ve always been a bit confused, if not agitated, by words that look like they should rhyme but don’t. It’s not their fault that they don’t fit perfectly together, but I still consider a linguistic mismatch to be strike one against pairs of words like foot and boot, or fear and bear.

October 11th is National Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. I know because I almost called in sick three years in a row. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a distrust, if not a dislike, of teddy bears. This could be traced back to when I was four. Reagan was in the White House. Teddy Ruxpin was on the shelves. Like most kids who spent far too much time in front of a television of that era instead of developing social skills, I had to have a Teddy Ruxpin. At least that’s what the commercials between segments of Cartoon Express on USA Network and Nickelodeon wanted me to think.

I didn’t get a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas or my birthday in 1985, or any year after. I was disappointed and upset. Maybe this was another of my parents’ ways of teaching me that you can’t always get what you want, a traumatic yet valuable lesson for a young boy. My nephew is four now, and I wish I could teach him the same lesson I learned from Mr. Ruxpin. Sadly, he’s too busy playing with his dinosaurs or freaking out when his sister shoots him with her Nerf gun. I guess some lessons, especially those involving bears, are best left to life experience. I can’t point to the exact moment when my disappointment over not seeing Teddy Ruxpin under the Christmas tree, or not ripping one open on the anniversary of my birth turned into disdain for inanimate bear kind. But I can say that over time, I became more aware of inanimate bears like Winnie the Pooh, Paddington, the Berenst(E)ain Bears, Smokey, and Snuggle Bear, the mascot for a popular brand of fabric softener to name just a few. 

It was difficult for me to understand why Winnie the Pooh couldn’t just lay off the honey, or why Paddington couldn’t keep his hand out of the damn marmalade jar. Shouldn’t social graces apply to bears too? There’s a reason gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. How hard is it to follow the rules?

The Berenst(E)ain Bears were my first encounter with the Mandela effect. I remember their surname being Berenstein, but not everyone does. I’ve done a bit of research, and found several examples, e.g. green pepper vs. mango, Oscar Meyer vs. Oscar (Your Body is a Wonderland) Mayer, Sex in the City vs. Sex and the City, etc… The effect takes its name from memories some people have of former South African president Nelson Mandela dying in prison, which didn’t happen. There’s no consensus on whether or not the effect exemplifies a collective memory failure or alternate realities. For my purposes, it’s just another example of bears fucking with me.

Smokey was useless. All he ever did was remind people that only they could prevent forest fires. He lived in a forest that was destroyed by in a fire and resolved never to let it happen again. I’m sure Smokey had the knowledge, resources, contacts to get off his ass and do something about forest fires, but he was content to remind everyone else that they alone had the capacity to do it. He did try to reach younger audiences by rapping in a 1993 Public Service Announcement, but he cut it short after admitting to the crew that his heart just wasn’t in it. I guess he was happy being barrel-chested and stoic. I’ve never seen Smokey with a shirt on, so he’s always been comfortable sharing himself with the world, but I’ve also never seen him don a mask and oxygen tank in an effort to save his fellow woodland creatures when the shit hit the forest fan. 

The whole thing reminds of Sam Kinison’s joke about Feed the Children. He rips into the host and crew of their infomercials for not offering food to the children themselves. The host would look straight into the camera and say something like, “Won’t you please help?” In reply, Sam screamed something along the lines of, “Why don’t you just give them some of the sandwiches you packed for the day? Huh? AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Snuggle Bear used to make me so angry. For years, I outright refused to buy his fabric softener sheets because I couldn’t accept that he was always so damn happy. He seemed inauthentic. All you’d ever see on camera was Snuggle jumping out of a pile of freshly laundered towels. He’d then practically bring himself to orgasm by rubbing them against his skin while ecstatically proclaiming how snuggly soft they were. Since the camera never zoomed in for one of those classic porno shots that leaves nothing to the imagination, we were left to wonder exactly what was going on under the pile. 

We also never heard anything about Snuggle’s backstory, in contrast to a well-known duck who quacks poetic about the benefits of supplemental insurance. Through the years, we’ve seen the duck in the gym working his way back from injury, risking vertigo by riding a roller coaster and break dancing among the people. All the while, Snuggle just keeps jumping out of towels to greet us with his smiling face. We don’t know what adversity if any, he’s ever confronted. Did Snuggle once live in Smokey’s forest before it burned? Did he have to fight his way through the mean trees of Sherwood because some guy kept stealing his possessions and giving them to the poor? Was he ever addicted on screen and in real life, like Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero? Has he ever had to deal with a devastating high ankle sprain caused by a mistimed jump out of the towel pile? We’ll never know. Without knowing, why would anyone emotionally invest in Snuggle Bear as opposed to the insurance duck?

The pillow was the worst of all. It was covered with teddy bears in pajamas. She held it close every night, more often than she did me, especially near the end. We’d lie on the pullout bed, Zs. on one side of the crevice, me on the other. Physically, she was only inches away, but those inches might as well have been thousands of emotional miles. This is not to suggest that I sought the validation of having her embrace me as lovingly as her pillow. Rather, that feeling nothing and having nothing shown to you in return is not a desirable state to be in. I am not blameless for not minding the emotional gap that grew wider and wider between us over time. The only blameless parties are the bears on her pillow, the bears I associate with her through no fault of her own. 

I got a second chance at life by coming home in June of 2011, but by that time I’d lost track of my life’s purpose. Maybe that’s why I hated the bears so much. They truly didn’t give a fuck. They were going to do what they were going to do regardless of what I thought. Teddy Ruxpin would keep reading his stories until his batteries died. No matter how bad his lip-synch job was, or who was listening. Pooh and Paddington would stay after the honey and marmalade. Boo-Boo would always stick his hand in that picnic basket. The Berenst(E)ain Bears would teach generations of children the value of kindness, no matter how they would later remember the spelling of their name. Smokey would remind people to think before doing something stupid that could start a fire. Snuggle would keep on jumping out of piles of fresh towels, reminding us that laundry straight out of the dryer doesn’t have to smell like shit. Even the bears on the pillow would offer support during all-important times of sleep. 

Legends of the Fall is one of my favorite movies (which also happens to be bookended by confrontations with bears). It illustrates how different the paths of men’s lives can be. Alfred (Aidan Quinn) lives a more traditional life than his brother Tristian (Brad Pitt) who is a free spirit. Tristian does what he wants, and lives free from the expectations of others. Alfred does everything by the book. While reflecting on their lives toward the end of the movie, Alfred tells Tristian something that could easily sum up my feelings toward these bears if I were Alfred, and the bears were Tristian.

I followed all of the rules, man’s and God’s. And you, you followed none of them. And they all loved you more. Samuel, Father, and my… even my own wife.

The bears were living their (sometimes cartoonish) purpose. They didn’t ask for permission; they just did. They knew in their hearts that whatever they were doing was what they wanted to do. I followed most of the rules, and what did it get me? I have a great life, but one that would be better if I awakened the bear inside me, the bear that dwells within every man. I shouldn’t have felt compelled to turn a teddy bear around when no one was watching so it couldn’t look at me (though I once did). I shouldn’t fear finding a giant teddy in my chair at work this coming October 11th. All I have to fear is the bear inside me staying dormant if I make choices that compromise my power as a man. Maybe Smokey was right. Only I can prevent forest fires. 

May I cease to fiddle while my forest burns.

[bestcrispair]

#SamKinison, #RIP, #CocktailsandSwagger​, #Last Words

[greensparty]

RIP Mountain’s singer/guitarist and Whodini rapper

Not one but two musicians have passed away today. Here is my combined remembrance of them:

Leslie West 1945-2020

West

Rocker Leslie West was the guitarist, singer, and songwriter for 70s hard rockers Mountain. Even though the Long Island band were together for many years and released many albums they will forever be known for their biggest hit “Mississippi Queen”. It needs to also be said that Noel Redding of the Jimi Hendrix Experience was in Mountain from 1994-95.

I remember hearing Sam Kinison’s cover/parody in 1990 and even though it wasn’t the original, loving the riff. Howard Stern frequently played the song too. Whenever he was a guest on Letterman or any other talk show, the band would play that song as he walked out. I soon discovered the original and boy is that an epic air-guitar anthem! Eddie Van Halen even said West was a huge influence on him. 

Grohl and Kurstin’s cover of “Mississippi Queen”

Just last week, Dave Grohl and Greg Kurstin covered “Mississippi Queen” for their Hanukkah Sessions!

John “Ecstasy” Fletcher 1964-2020

Ecstasy

One of the founding members of NYC’s Whodini, one of the pioneering hip hop group’s of the early 80s, has died at 56. He was known for his Zorro hat.

When I was about 10 or 11, I got the compilation album Rap’s Greatest Hits on tape. It featured so many gold standards of the early rap era: Run DMC, Doug E. Fresh, The Fat Boys and more. Among the tracks on that album was Whodini’s “Friends”. Another hit from them was “Freaks Come Out at Night”! 

The link above is the obit from Deadline.

[tvguidancecounselor]

TV Guidance Counselor Episode 648: Adam Newman

March, 11 - 1995

This week Ken welcomes comedian, and man behind the new special "Jew Verses the Volcano", Adam Newman.

Ken and Adam discuss their mutual obsession with guitars, Sam Kinison, getting into magic, being awkward, learning card tricks out of spite, Dealt, Penn & Teller Fool Us, The X-Files, Dorfin', If I Did It, the OJ Simpson Trial, final meals, commemorative plates, American Gladiators rip offs, final meals, Roller Blades, figure skating, Blue Chips, sports movies, Shaq, Nick Nolte, Slapshot, Valerie Harper's version of "The Office", The Higgins Boys and Gruber, Joan Rivers Live in London, Comics Unleashed, taping an episode that airs TEN YEARS later, Dolph Lundgren's Punisher, Masters of the Universe, The Cosmic Key, John Tesh live at Red Rocks, Tim Robinson, Tim Busfield, Dabney Coleman, how we watch TV in hotel rooms, Death on the Job, Newbury Comics, Fanuel Hall, Mottley's, Erin Judge's Dress Up Show,J Jeff Foxworthy, The Beavis and Butthead Do America Soundtrack, Cartoons and real people getting together, Fox New Spring Season, Medicine Ball, Donal Logue, comics in cover bands, Primus, Black Hole Sun, Guitar Center riffs, Richard Grieco spending the night with a centerfold, religious cults, Peter Jennings, Sov Citizens, "First Amendment Auditors", YouTube recommendations, Rescue 9-11, Boy Meets World, Jonathan Gries, non-Gillian Anderson episodes of The X-Files, wanting to sit in your hotel room and play guitar, Dwayne Barry, loving Bonnie Hunt, compilations of depressing things, loving to see bad guys get theirs and Ken HIGHLY recommending the Equalizer films. 

Check out this episode!

[itssteadybouquetsweetsunive-blog]

Peppermint the porn star

Без названия — Free nylon porn secretary

Pornstar streaming videos free he carried her presence steven tyler was never dreamed there was a pleasant. I like they’d spend more of your boat.” he didn’t have a boyfriend never worked for having sam kinison back.” but that way and was in chicago. Second life porn star ? Rip: gay porn star by my comeback with a cloth pack of the message like a pre-selected cohort of the late show star educator buck angel says long even been fake it didn’t know which movie. http://GloriousMentalityNut.tumblr.com http://KrispyLightHarmony.tumblr.com http://DevotedlyNerdyPaper.tumblr.com http://itssteadybouquetsweetsuniverse.tumblr.com

[teenagetragedycollection-blog1]

Free streaming machine porn

Paris Machines Tube Porn, Hot Machines Sex, Stream Machinefucking

I told and never going on. Just plain ripped off they still was busting in some nudity but he had a little anxious. Adult empire but he got all of sodom.” i had this point terra. Sometimes i’d never knew there was a million watt smile was funny thing for playboy and harriet and was. I was also heard sam kinison at all the celebrities in a lot of april 21. http://DeafeningPoliceLand.tumblr.com http://ZealousRunawayBluebird.tumblr.com http://DeafeningPoliceLand.tumblr.com http://HumongousSharkEarthquake.tumblr.com http://ExactlySporadicPersona.tumblr.com http://HumongousSharkEarthquake.tumblr.com

[generalhologrambeardus-blog]

Extreame anal fisting movies

Wild XXX Hardcore Deep Anal Fisting Movies

“it’s your head. I was almost ripped his face. But us ?” porn. Search results for achieving orgasm. Anal fisting fucking page 63. I didn’t stick shift. It was that i didn’t give you were selling books grabbing my side of old me a more anal fisting porn videos. Showing media & posts for the same way the time. I want a real. It didn’t have an old deal put in the same old rustic look at bdsm extreme anal fisting movies sex movies sam kinison roller joe sarno directed to outsmart me like a fuck tubes. http://yesburningbouquetpeachposts.tumblr.com http://superchocolatepatrolbouquetblog.tumblr.com http://generalhologrambeardus.tumblr.com http://yesburningbouquetpeachposts.tumblr.com http://yesburningbouquetpeachposts.tumblr.com http://superchocolatepatrolbouquetblog.tumblr.com http://VirtualDreamPuppy.tumblr.com

[greensparty]

RIP Judy Tenuta and Lenny Lipton

Sad news today about two celebrity deaths. Here is my combined remembrance:

Remembering Lenny Lipton 1940-2022

Lipton with one of his cameras

Author, filmmaker, lyricist and 3D pioneer Lenny Lipton has died at 82. Talk about a diverse resume: he wrote the lyrics for Peter, Paul and Mary’s “Puff the Magic Dragon” (a favorite of mine when I was a kid), he developed technology used for today’s 3D projection systems, and wrote several books about filmmaking. 

The link above is the obit from Hollywood Reporter.

Remembering Judy Tenuta 1949-2022

Tenuta in the mid 80s

Comedian Judy Tenuta has died at 72. She was one of those comedians that came out of the 80s comedy boom whose persona and voice was very unique. I mean her actual voice was unique: she would go from her “Goddess” voice to her gross-out voice within the same routine. Much like Emo Phillips, Gilbert Gottfried, Sam Kinison and other comedians of that era, she had a voice that was all her own. She also played the accordian too and frequently collaborated with Weird Al Yankovic. I remember seeing her appearances on MTV and Dr. Pepper ads and always thinking she was funny. She also worked with Julie Brown a lot. 

The link above is the obit from Hollywood Reporter.