#rip mr darcy

[zuuriell]

when it takes 168 pages for a silly guy to express his feelings.. and bro gets rejected

[evermorelore]

𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕…

[otterandterrierwrites]

For the numbers thing if you’re still looking:

59

3

37

14 Days of Scoundress 2024 ♥ February 14th

Foundation

Leia couldn’t have said when it had started; what look, or words, or gesture had commenced the shift in her heart—likely, it wasn’t any one thing or moment, but the compound of them all over time. Only that, right then and there, she knew. Or, at least, accepted it for a fact.

It had been much easier to ignore when they were fighting for their lives, when she was running a rebellion and he was pretending not to care. In the slow-passing days of their interlude towards Bespin, with few things and fewer beings to pass the time with, their deliberately sharpened edges smoothed against each other to a softness they were still learning what to do with. How much of it was allowed when everything was uncertain, and softness could bruise. Everything stood in sharp contrast—the way Han looked at her, held her, the actions that spoke louder than words. Those had been a constant for some time now, even when he believed it was hopeless and she thought it misguided.

And she—she observed herself as well, and in doing so, discovered that she wanted to make him feel as safe and comfortable as he did her. That she looked forward to sipping caf with him in the mornings and quipping about anything and everything in the evenings. That she revelled in the way he reacted to her touch, in the laughter she could draw out of him.That she wished for the chance to figure out whether there was permanency in it. Them.

She’d been dumped in the middle of a feeling she didn’t dare name yet but, for the first time, in that moment, Leia didn’t feel scared or worried. She felt strangely at peace with it.

Han straightened up, holding up the pair of new insoles for her boots that he’d fashioned out of gods knew what ancient scrap he’d found laying around the Falcon, after she’d mentioned that her feet had stopped aching since she’d started walking in socks most of the time.

‘There you go, sweetheart, you should try ‘em on.’

He held out his offering, and Leia put her hands over his, looking at his handiwork. She hadn’t even told him that her old insoles were falling apart. He’d figured it out, dug her boots out of the closet she’d shoved them in, and set to work.

Han bent over his work table again, picking up his tools and dusting off leather shavings. When he straightened up, she wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him down for a long kiss, hoping he could figure this out, too, what she couldn’t tell him with words.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered against his lips, the insoles clutched against her heart. ‘I like them a lot.’

******* Prompts:

59: out of love

3: “I liked that. A lot.”

37: [surprise] a sudden kiss to catch the partner off guard

[umeinthemindpalace]

Let's talk Pride and Prejudice...

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I THINK ABOUT THE HAND FLEX THINGY I PUT MY HAND UP FLEXED AND START A SPEECH THAT GOES LIKE "now my hand holds the power to end world hunger and destroy the universe and build it back again, omg Lizzie ilysm marry me even though me *Mr Darcy* hath insulted thou in such deep ways, your family does INDEED sort of maybe suck BUT MARRY ME pls I love you"

[ghostmaggie]

not me investing all my pre nancy drew free time and emotions into binge reading a book and then just as obsessively immediately devoting all my attention to the sequel and THEN taking the time to notice that the sequel in question came out a whopping TWENTY SEVEN DAYS AGO and the next book (??? there must be another but I can't find an official announcement yet) will, based on precedent, not be out until next may 🥴🙃🥲

[kinaaaard]

Tommy looks at Evan in his bed and thinks of Mr. Darcy. Thinks of period pieces. Thinks of Love, Actually. 

If you were to glance him in a grocery line or catch his profile in traffic, it wasn’t a surface-level judgment anyone in sane society would ever make: this guy loves a bleeding-heart romance. It was a left-of-field, out-of-pocket fact of himself that felt like less of a secret and more of the thing tacked on by the producers of romance reality TV — this guy’s too unapproachable, let’s give him some charm. 

Guys like Tommy (broad, blue collar, a wealth of oppression and military repression) were rare to even exist within the genre unless you delved into the more harlequin novel bodice-ripping romance of it all. And maybe that’s why he liked them. 

They allowed easy oxycontin. He liked when people miscommunicated for the sake of the narrative, only to end up falling into bed by the end. He liked how declarations were made about the other’s faults, and that they blearily choked out, and despite it all, I still love you! He liked how often the romances brought together opposite people under unlikely circumstances, and how fate wrapped them up in a neat little bow. 

Most of all, he liked how far away they felt. How untouchable. To him, streetlamp-yellow kisses under soft falling snow felt as plausible as dragons and space operas. 

His other interests felt imbedded in his person. Muy Thai, engines, those were par for the course. The expected things he would readily wear on his sleeve. A man like him, into romcoms, on the other hand? It was something that seemingly only existed in the grey matter of his brain. A secret. A gentle smile from a barrel-chested man didn’t necessarily betray this penchant for treacly, cinematic love. He didn’t pretend that it did, and certainly not with the men he dated in the past. He never wanted to jar previous boyfriends with the disconnect, never wanted to shatter the veneer of masculinity. That felt dangerous. That felt vulnerable. 

But he looks down at Evan in his bed. 

His face is slack and easy with sleep, half-pushed into the pillow. Pale morning light swallows the room, gilding the corkscrew turns of his curls. Burnishes them as they rest against his forehead, the skin smooth and unbothered. Tommy’s eyes linger on the soft bed of hair, hands tingling with memory of how they feel between his fingers — not unlike Mr. Darcy’s hand after holding Lizzy Bennet’s — before trailing down to the slopes of his eyes, his lashes. They rest undisturbed on his cheeks as Evan’s body takes deep, beautiful breaths of air. He almost mourns the view of Evan’s cornflower blue eyes. Then the slope of his nose, prominent and round, before dipping to the petal-soft plush of his lips. Pink like early, early dawn. 

He can’t help it. He plants his hand on the curve of Evan’s stubbled jaw and cups, thumb brushing against the soft thistle. Romcoms don’t feel so far away, anymore. Don’t feel like a contrary fact or a rare allergy or a study of ancient mythology. It feels close, nestled in his chest. Just looking at Evan is easy oxycontin. 

Evan starts to rustle, brows knitting. His face turns a bit but Tommy keeps his hand steady. Tommy thinks, I’ll make him coffee soon, just the way he likes it. 

Tommy thinks of the Mr. Darcy’s deep, anguished yearning. How it culminates into warmth at the end. Thinks of how he kisses her on the nose, on the forehead, and the cradle of love seen before the credits. 

He looks at Evan and wonders if he’ll ever watch a romcom again. He doesn’t need to, really. 

[yandere-sins]

Keep talking like that and I might just be inside your walls bugaboo

but fr, i hc this man to. how do i explain it. he will destroy everything for you and you'd never know. he pines like mr darcy from pride and prejudice. show him even an ounce of kindness and he's so done. you can't do shit, he is yours forever now. you have a better shot of beating stage 4 cancer than getting rid of him!

And I will keep talking like that about your wonderful ideas, you can stay for dinner if you come to haunt me! ♥

I just... what if we give him like a really meaningless, small flower and he just keeps it forever, obsessively making sure it doesn't break even when it's dried and getting so furious if anyone accidentally rips out a petal. And he really hates himself but he'd rather die than lose that damn flower 👉👈

Or we are just going out for some late night groceries, but of course he's right there behind us, scary dog privilege, and when we get confused about why people are so scared and turn around he's just... gone. And we'll never be any the wiser but we got some free stuff so... lucky day!

Anyway, he's just such a good unit and my mind goes bzzzzz whenever I play him! Can't wait for his companion quest or uh... I guess for him to show up at some point of the story? XD Can't believe we really haven't gotten that many characters officially even though they are already playable lol.

[ghostgorlsworld]

Johnny Boy (part six)

Werewolf! Johnny x reader

part one is here

Once upon a time, you would've done anything for John Mctavish. He had been your older brother's cool best friend, and you were always desperate for him to see you as more--until one fateful night that ends up with you pregnant and him...gone. Fast forward six years and you've made a good life for yourself with your daughter Emma, with Johnny none the wiser. Until he decides to knock on your door.

Guys I cannot stress this enough, there is SMUT in this chapter. There is also dubious consent because of alcohol, as well as dark!Johnny being dark. He's not a good guy in this story and he's not all the way human, so his morals are WAY off--also I don't write smut very often so pls tell me if it was bad.

A bottle of wine later and you were feeling much better about the situation. After all, you weren’t sure you even wanted to kiss Charlie–he dressed like a frumpy old man and had weekly dinners with his grandmother. 

Before he was a slag, those qualities were endearing, like a stray dog with an ear flopped over. Now, they were just…unappetizing.

Not like Johnny, ridiculous mohawk or no. 

You uncorked another bottle of the expensive wine Tom had gotten you for Christmas and poured yourself another hefty glass, Pride and Prejudice 2005 keeping you company on the telly. 

It was nine o’clock. You texted Tom to make sure he had Emma in bed, just a touch too tipsy to see the keys properly.

Yes, she’s asleep, are you drunk??

You smiled to yourself. No.

Did you get stood up again?

You sniffled. Fuck off. 

You forced yourself away from the phone, focusing back on Mr. Darcy and the infamous hand scene. 

You found yourself thinking about Johnny again. The first time he kissed you was a little fuzzy, but you could remember the hand gripping your chin, the fingers digging into your skin. 

It had been like he had wanted to devour you, and you were just happy to be devoured. 

It was half-way through the glass when a knock came to the door.

It was probably Charlie, with his tail between his legs. You sighed, pausing the telly as you wobbled to your feet.

“What?” You snapped, ripping the door open.

“Nice pajamas, kitty.”

Johnny stood on your doorstep once again, carrying a takeout box that smelled suspiciously like your favorite pizza and garlic knots. He smiled, so blue-eyed and pretty it physically made you want to cry.

“What do you want?” You sighed, steadying yourself against the wall. “Can’t a girl wallow in peace?” “Ah, did I interrupt a pity party, kitty?” Johnny teased, inviting himself in. “Perfect. I brought ye dinner.”

“Johnny,” you said, your voice pitching close to a whine. 

He stilled, looking at you. His hand came up, pinching your chin like he used to. “You havnae called me Johnny in a very long time.” The rawness of his voice broke you down into someone you used to be, someone that loved him. You leaned into the warmth of his palm, unable to stop yourself. “You were gone, Johnny. I missed you.” Johnny’s fingers tightened on your jaw, his mouth twisting to the side. His eyes flickered to the table, where the empty bottle sat. “You’re shit-faced, kitty.” You nodded, his thumb sliding up to brush against your bottom lip. “M’a light weight now. Motherhood means bein’ responsible, and no drinkin’.” “It looks good on ye,” Johnny said, finally dropping his hand.

“What, the alcohol?”

“Bein’ a mother. I used to think about it sometimes, what you were doing–if you were with anyone, if you had any pups yet.” Johnny turned, busying himself with the pizza. “When they let me reach out to Tom, I think the first words out me mouth were about you.” That surprised you. “He never told me about that.” “Mmm,” Johnny rumbled. “He’s a good brother. He told me you were happy, and that you weren’t alone. That was it, no matter how much I asked.” He put a slice on a plate and gave it to you. “Now sit, kitty. I need you to sober up a bit.” You obeyed, taking a bite as you sat before him. “I stopped trying to find you after her third birthday. I just figured that you would be better off not knowing, you know, I could finally move on.” The alcohol had dampened the anger in your chest, you felt…open. Open to talking about it. Bleeding the poison from the wound.

Johnny slid a hand into his pocket, pulling out a very worn, very tattered picture of-

You. It was you six years ago, Johnny’s arm around your shoulder as you laughed.“Carried it w’me all over the world, kitty.” That contradicted everything. “But why? You don’t…” you trailed off, the wine haze falling away with your shock. 

“Why do you think I left, lass?” Johnny asked, his eyes reflecting the glare of the dim kitchen lights. “Did you ever ask yourself why the fuck I didn’t call you or why I never responded to your letters?” This was confusing. You frowned. “Of course I did. I just figured you…you grew out of me. You found your family with people more like you.” Johnny reached into his coat and pulled out a wad of papers, neatly gathered by a rubber band. 

They were letters. Your letters, the ones you had sent when he left the first time, the pages yellowed and crumpled with use, as if they were read often. 

“I kept ‘em, every last one,” Johnny trailed a hand over the paper, gently as if they were something precious. “Does it look like I forgot you?” “Sure felt like it,” you said, but the venom was gone. 

“Some of them still smelled like you. The lads  thought I’d lost me mind, reading the same fucking letters every night after missions.”

“Johnny,” you said. “Johnny this doesn’t make any sense, I thought…I thought you came for Emma.” “I dinnae know she even existed, kitty, I thought I was doing the right thing, staying a world away from you.” “But why? You-you broke my heart, I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me or Tommy.” Within a blink, Johnny was kneeling before you, his hands on your knees as his eyes bored into yours. You felt a chill, a whisper of fight or flight pricking your neck at his predatory stare.

“It wasn’t right, what I felt for the little girl I taught how to ride a bike, kitty,” he whispered. “I left because you were sixteen and I shouldn't have been thinking the things I was thinking. It’s different for wolves, see, we…we know when someone is right for us, we can smell it, and it’s hard to fight instinct, kitty, it’s who we are.” “But I loved you enough to think about your future. I wanted you to have a life without me standin’ over your shoulder, I wanted to give you time to choose what you wanted.” “I wanted you,” you said honestly, reeling from his words. “I know, kitty, but that didn’t make it right. I came back a few years later thinkin’ maybe things would be different, that maybe I could control myself but…I couldn’t stand bein’ in a fuckin’ room with you. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, so I signed for another contract, this one different from the others. They would take me away from you, and in return I could hunt, I could be me, the real me, for the first time in me life–because if I was myself around you, you wouldn’t like it very much, bonnie.” He nuzzled into your neck, breathing in deep. “Then suddenly you were there, the night before I was s’posed to leave, and you were fuckin’ sloshed and gorgeous and everything I couldn’t have.” You remembered that night fuzzily. It hadn’t taken much, just a smile pointed his way and your clumsy kiss on his cheek then suddenly he was pulling you away from the bar, shoving his tongue down your throat in the dark back alley. He had tasted like beer and whiskey and Johnny. You had never wanted him more.

Your eyes welled up. You looked away, blinking furiously. “Johnny,” you sighed. “I can’t. I spent six years being so unbelievably hurt, you can’t fix it in a night.” He kissed your jaw, teeth scraping against your skin. “I know, kitty, I’ll spent the rest of our fuckin’ life making it right. Everything I ever wanted with you happened while I wasn’t here, I’ll never let you go now.” You tried to push him away, but Johnny was a big lad, his hands sliding to your hips to clutch you closer. He licked away the tears on your cheek with a hum, just like Emma always tried to do. 

“I’m not yours,” you said, your voice holding zero conviction. “You left.”

But Johnny wasn’t paying attention, his face in your hair. “You smell like the mother of my baby, ” he said roughly, inhaling. “When Tom told me you were with someone two years ago, I lost control for the first time in a fucking decade. Bit a head off or two, imaginin’ they were him, this bastard you allowed in my place.” His teeth nipped at your collar, already longer and sharper than they had been a moment before. 

“John,” you said, pushing at his chest. “What are you doing?”

Johnny pulled away, his eyes sparkling. “C’mon, kitty cat, we both know how pent-up ya are,” he went in for a kiss but you turned your head, his mouth landing on your chin. It didn’t stop him though, his tongue laving a line from your chin to the corner of your mouth. “Please, kitty, lemme help,” Johnny panted, his breath hot and sticky against your skin. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

You had forgotten how gross he was sometimes, how he liked to lick and bite, even when you play-fought as kids. It turned you on more than anything, white-hot liquid pooling in your belly as the musky taste of his hormones filled the air.

You let him kiss you. Johnny made a noise, a mix between a growl and a whine as he got to work ruining your mouth. It wasn’t a good kiss–but it was so Johnny, messy and wild and slightly painful, his teeth catching on your bottom lip just so he could lick the pinpricks of blood away. 

“Missed ya, kitty cat,” he said, forcing you to look in his eyes while he swiped his tongue back into your throat. “All I had was a picture and letters, but I could get off just from you writing that you missed me, just from your smell lingering on the fucking paper.” You made a surprised noise in the back of your throat, the wine causing you to shift in your seat, feeling the heat of your arousal soak through your underwear.

Johnny inhaled deeply, shoving his head between your legs before you could pull away. He bit you through your pajama pants playfully, his teeth digging into the soft meat of your thigh. 

You yelped and he laughed, a harsh, gritty noise that made you shiver. “Johnny,” you whined, pushing at his head. 

“Johnny,” he mimicked, grinning as he nipped at your fingers. The glint in his eye reminded you of simpler days, when he was just lazy-eyed Johnny that made you laugh. 

“This is such a bad idea,” you said weakly. Your head was spinning, dizzy with alcohol and desire.

“You can hate me tomorrow, bonnie,” he said fondly, kissing your knee as he slid your pajama pants down your hips. 

And you allowed it. You let him shuck your pants, you let him paste sticky kisses to your underwear line, his penchant for dirty talk that you barely remembered coming in full swing as he swiped a callused finger through your slick.

“My poor girl,” Johnny cooed, sinking his teeth into your thigh as if to control himself. “I tried to be good, kitty, I tried so, so fuckin’ hard–I was gonnae take my time, win ya over, wait until you were fuckin’ gaggin’ for it, but I’m just  not that man anymore.” You slid your hand through his hair, just like you used to, that old love squeezing your heart so hard you thought it might burst. It was soft and thick, your nails scraping against his scalp. 

The simple act of affection pushed him over the edge. He had his mouth on you in an instant, the lacy edges of your underwear drifting to the floor in shreds. 

Your whine was caught in your throat when Johnny gripped your hips with sharpened nails, dragging you closer to himself with a ripple of power.

Johnny didn’t look like Johnny anymore. The humor drained from his gaze as he looked up at you, the blue sharpening into something cruel, something like a killer.

Something like a wolf. 

You looked away as he licked a line from back to front, pleasure shuddering up your spine. God it had been so long-

“Oh, no, bonnie,” Johnny panted, the sharp drag of his nails painful against your hips. “Eyes down here. Don’t ever fuckin’ look away.” His hand grabbed your chin, pulling your attention back to him. “Watch,” he said, his tone deadly soft. 

Johnny had always known how to embarrass you, how to make you squirm. He licked and sucked, dipping his tongue inside of you just to tease, just to make you yelp and blush. 

It felt like hours. You would make a soft noise and he would slide another finger inside of you just to make you squeal, the stretch making your jaw drop. 

“She’s cryin’ for it, eh, kitty?” Johnny whispered, flexing his hand. “She was fuckin’ waiting for me.” You come embarrassingly quick, gripping his hair and squirming as you cream into his mouth. He continues licking you far past the trembling aftershocks, cleaning up his mess like a good dog.

“Too much, too much,” you hissed, wriggling away from his needful mouth. 

Johnny fucking laughed at you, his mouth slick and his eyes so hazy he looked as drunk as you felt. “I’ve been thinkin’ about the way ya taste for so long I thought I dreamed it.” He looked younger for a moment, the scars disappearing, the stray gray hairs in his mohawk fading to brown. Suddenly, you couldn’t stand to look at him, the heat cooling on your skin. 

“Johnny,” you said, choking on your words. You couldn’t help the tears pricking your eyes, a stray tear falling down your cheek. 

“Shh, bonnie,” Johnny brought you in his arms, guiding your head into the space between his shoulder and neck with his wide palm. “You’re all tuckered out, hmm? I’m sorry, kitty, I didn’t mean ta push you so far…” He whispered in your ear while he carried you to bed, his accent twisting and turning the words into Scottish gibberish. You nodded sleepily against his shoulder, already half-convincing yourself that this was a dream as he tucked you in bed like a little girl.

“Night, bonnie,” Johnny whispered, pressing a scratchy kiss to your forehead. 

You mumbled something incoherent, tucking your pillow over your head.

[gerec]

is there any jane eyre AU or pride and prejudice?

Anon, we have some truly amazing period aus in this fandom - you're in luck!

Jane Eyre AUs

The changeling; or, Charles Xavier (a Novel by a Lady) by aesc [1834] The changeling Charles Xavier, friendless and dispossessed of his fortune, arrives at Ironhill Hall to tutor the two children of the mysterious Mr. Lehnsherr. Or, the one where XMFC meets a heavily-revised Jane Eyre meets steampunk.

A Machine Without Feelings by sareyen

A Jane Eyre AU:

Small and measured but intelligent and determined, Charles Xavier is a child born into circumstances of hardship; his father died just after he was born and his mother remarried a cruel and hard man, who cast him out to boarding school when he was ten. After a difficult childhood, Charles found employment as a tutor at the grand Ironfield Hall, where he meets its master - the brooding and seemingly cold Mr Lehnsherr.

Charles is drawn to the enigma that is Mr Lehnsherr, but mysterious and frightening events begin occurring in Ironfield Hall, threatening to destroy everything Charles has grown to cherish.

i saw a blackened ruin by Red

Done on tumblr for a prompt I made myself, which was basically: a Jane Eyre fusion where Erik is Rochester and Charles is the Bertha Mason "wife in the wall." Pretty much that's the fic.

I Saw A Blackened Ruin (The Across a Distant Sea Remix) by significantowl 

Charles stands with his hand clasped in his husband’s long grip, smiling at well-wishers until his face aches. Until the crowds begin to thin, and the bells die away, and his ears begin to catch on the lonely cries of the gulls.

Pride & Prejudice AUs

First Impressions by sirona

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a spouse -- or the nearest set of curtains to hide behind, if you were to believe Mr Charles Xavier. Little does he know that he himself will soon put test to that very truth.

Fine Men of Fine Taste by velvetcadence

The Xaviers move into Westchester manor with a handsome guest in tow, causing quite a stir in the neighborhood. Miss Raven Xavier meets her match in Henry McCoy, and though Moira MacTaggert is a possible and pleasing suit for Mr Charles Xavier, there seems to be more than meets the eye in his strange friendship with the brooding Mr Lehnsherr.

Or, the one where Charles and Erik one-up Bingley and Darcy's rad bromance, and maybe level it up too.

A Pride and Prejudice AU.

Pride & Prejudice - Rip it from my hands by Synekdokee

“Say you forgive me,” Erik whispered, his breath warm against the skin of Charles’ neck.

Charles stood quietly by the window, looking past their reflections out into the yard.

“You made your feelings quite clear,” he said, stepping away from Erik.

Erik grasped his wrist hard, refusing to let Charles walk away.

“Please.”

Note: This one doesn't follow the plot of the book but it is EXCELLENT and I highly recommend it (beware the angst)!

Persuasion AU

No Longer in Silence by Black_Betty It has been eight years since Charles has seen Erik. Eight years since they parted under unkind circumstances and Erik went off to sea. The boy he once knew is Captain Lehnsherr now and they are as known to one another as strangers, and yet--Charles finds that eight years has done nothing to diminish the feelings he had when he was 16 and in love.

It's unfortunate then that Erik doesn't feel the same way.

(Persuasion AU)

Note: Throwing in an excellent Persuasion au for more Austen goodness!

[firthbetterorfirthworse]

Austenland (2013)

This is not exactly a Pride and Prejudice adaptation, but it definitely had echoes.

Jane Hayes is obsessed with Mr. Darcy and spends her savings to go to this Austen experience, complete with actors that romance you while you're there. Having paid for the shit tier package and annoyed with the Darcy archetype character, she becomes disillusioned and starts hanging out with one of the background staff. Except of course, she can't trust who she thinks she can and there are mix-ups and such until she finds her own happily ever after.

If you've been following my projects, you'll be happy to note that they got both love interests wet! Mr. Darcy Nobley rescues her in the rain (even ripping her dress to put her astride his horse - scandalous!)

loved the line "You don't annoy me...you make me nervous."

We also decided that we absolutely need a sitcom about the actors that work there. I want more of their shenanigans and downtime thoughts. Bonus points if it's in the style of Party Down, and the background actors are actually well-known.

Sidenote, I was tickled pink by this dude, who 100% had a flask in his coat to get through the damn day

AND was so excited to note that they got Rupert Vansittart, who played Mr. Hurst in 1995, to play essentially the same damn character hahahaha

It's a romp, it's a formulaic rom-com, it's a load of fun.

[gabessquishytum]

RIP Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You would have loved the very demure very mindful trend.

[blushblushbear]

bit of a spoiler for newly hinted blush blush boys

I like how I've been building a regency era au with Fuyu, up to and including watching pride and prejudice for research purposes

AND THEN A NEW DUDE IS POSTED ON THE CASTING CALL AND HE'S LIKE

PERFECTLY BUILT FOR A REGENCY AU

one of the actors he's meant to be pulling energy from is Colin Firth AKA MR DARCY IN THE MINI SERIES (which is the main thing I've been watching cause it's MWAH)

basically what I guess I'm saying is I'm in regency au hell and am probs not getting out anytime soon and also he will probs end up in my next regency era au

ALSO SIDE NOTE I know there was talk way back when about a character named Prof. Darcy AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF THESE DUDE'S NAME ISN'T PROF. DARCY

also also very very side note but rip Oz the fan boy who never got his script written cause he was an owl too--- also Julian is a cook like other new daddy guy but the difference is that Julian actually has a script

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

I Feel You Linger in the Air - final thoughts

I know, I know! I'm late to this one. But I knew I had to wait for it to finish to make sure I wouldn't get my heart entirely ripped out, and then it was just really hard to find the time. I couldn't binge it either, I had to pace myself emotionally.

But damn. What an incredible fucking show. And I don't just mean for a BL, but just for a series in general. Everything was so well done. The music, the cinematography, the writing, the acting, all of it.

While I was watching I kept being reminded of a good Austen adaptation. Probably mostly because of all the longing looks. Khun Yai could absolutely give Mr. Darcy a run for his money.

But there's also something about a historical framework, where there is so much that cannot be outright stated. Where there's "propriety", and the (usually BS) moral standards of the time. Where the line between classes and genders is such a sharp one.

The social commentary was so strong - showing the heavy burden of living within traditional beliefs, and the damage that they caused to those that are oppressed. I loved Fong Kaew, and her brilliant strategical thinking in how to play Robert and court allies for his downfall. Euangphueng and Fong Kaew both hurting each other in their attempts to survive, but always understanding who the real enemy was, and keeping compassion for one another. Even Yai's mother, finally having enough of passively following her husband as he hurts their children over and over again, telling him to essentially fuck off as she downs the good booze. Characters like James & Niew risking themselves and joining their queer allies to help take down the oppressive hypocrites abusing their power. So damn good.

And I really love how much the series showed that change is not a big massive shift in one moment, but rather a drop in the pond, that causes ripples to ebb and flow over the water. And that for each person who took one moment to help someone else, or speak up to power, or defy an unjust expectation, new ripples would form, and reach new places. Sometimes meeting up to create an entire wave.

Of course, IFYLITA is at its core a romance, and wow, what a romance. I was in literal physical pain during the finale, and I'm still not fully recovered, even with the happy ending. Bright & Nonkul gave incredible performances and I believed every single moment between them. I'm not always a fan of "you're the only one I'll ever love" stories, because life is so much more complex than that, but it was impossible not to get swept up in the emotions here. And the writing all served the story, every moment between them had such purpose.

I only have a couple of little...wishes, let's call them, because I can't even say they're complaints. I wish we had seen a little more interaction between Yai & Euangphueng, as two siblings navigating their queerness and inability to love openly. Yai didn't even seem to be aware that Euangphueng was being confined by Robert, which seemed odd.

My other wish is that we got a bit more time with modern Yai & Jom. They spent so much time making us twist in the angst of the separation, and then we got about thirty seconds of healing. I could have used just a few moments more of basking in the reunion.

I don't know how likely a season 2 is at this point, but damn do I want to see Jom pursue Commander Yai.

But whether we get it or not, I am so grateful to have experienced this show.

[rosemaidenvixen]

Between Daylight and Darkness

Chapter 3

<Previous Next>

Ao3

Toby gripped the edge of his desk, eyeing the door into the room uneasily.

He leaned over towards Mary keeping his gaze on the door “Were you guys able to make any…progress yesterday?”

Mary’s expression turned pinched “No.”

A lead weight dropped in Toby’s gut.

That first night they all stayed as late as they possibly could to try and help, but they’d still had no luck in prying the armor off of Jim. Eventually Jim told them to go home and sleep and try to solve this tomorrow. But the next day he texted them that he was still stuck in the armor and was going to have to skip school. Toby had an orthodontist appointment and couldn’t see him after, but the girls had gone over to his place to try and troubleshoot, only to leave in defeat. The girls had kept him updated through text, but ever since yesterday afternoon it’d been radio silence from Ji–

The door swung open and Jim, dressed in jeans and a jacket and not a trace of armor, hurried into the room and took his seat next to them.

Toby slumped back in his chair, letting out a gusty sigh. Good to see Jim was ok and not sealed up like a tin can.

“Glad you made it in,” Claire leaned forward with a whisper “But how did you finally manage to get that armor off?”

Jim groaned and dragged a hand over his face, heavy shadows under his eyes “I don’t even know. I’ve been pulling and tugging at it all night then an hour ago it randomly popped off,”

Darci blinked “Umm…you did go to sleep after we left, right?”

“Nope,” Jim said with a pop “But I should be fine. I’ve gone all night without sleep before. I can’t do it a bunch of days in a row, but if I get plenty of sleep the next few days I’ll be fine,”

“Well don’t forget,” Mary cut in “Today we’re meeting up with Ms. Janeth to try and convince her to let you work on the play but cut out early,”

Jim slumped on top of his desk and groaned “Oh man don’t remind me,”

Toby patted his shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll convince her,”

“Either that or I’ll make a complete fool of myself and get kicked out of drama club and become the laughing stock of the whole school, again,”

“That’s it, you know what the penalty for ripping on yourself is,” Toby stretched out of his seat to lean over and reach into Jim’s bag “I get to use your good pen for the rest of…”

Toby froze, eyes going huge “What the heck Jim!?” he hissed.

Jim jerked upright “Wha?”

“You brought the magical armor summoning pocket watch to school!?”

“What? No I left it at home in my des–” Jim moved over to look into his bag, only to instantly go still when he saw the shiny silver and blue object nestled between notebooks, face draining of color.

For a few seconds none of them moved, all staring at the pocket watch in disbelief,  then the object let out a loud click, flashing blue.

“Nopenopenope,” Jim scrambled to close the bag, shoving it underneath his seat “Not doing that,”

At the front of the room Mr. Strickler stood up from his desk and moved in front of the chalk board, signaling the end of the passing period and start of the lesson. Conversations all over the room dying into silence.

Mary angled over towards Jim and risked one more soft whisper “I think going all night without sleep might be messing with your head,”

“You might be onto something there…” Jim mumbled.

Toby knew he should stay quiet, both for keeping the magic on the down low and to not risk Mr. Strickler’s wrath, but the question wouldn’t leave his head and he absolutely had to know.

“So if you were stuck in that armor for two days how did you go to the bathroom?”

“Dude you don’t want to know,”

--

“...so that’s what we were thinking, sound good?”

Toby fought to keep the wide grin on his face, feeling the others shifting behind him as Ms. Janeth tapped her chin thoughtfully. She had to say yes, she just had to. Sure they were bending the rules a little, more than a little, but nothing to–

“I think we should be able to make that work,”

Jim perked up instantly “Really?”

“Of course,” Ms. Janeth stood from her desk with a smile “The fine art of theater should be shared with all! And while I have limited resources at my disposal, I’m always happy to make things more accessible,”

“That’s great,” Claire said with a wide grin. The five of them glancing around smiling at each other in relief.

“Always happy to welcome new blood aboard our cast, however…” Ms. Janeth swiftly turned and picked up a clipboard from her desk “Try outs are in the auditorium in fifteen minutes. So those of you that are aiming for speaking roles had better beat me there,”

They all piped up with ‘got it’s and ‘thank you’s and ‘see you there’ as they headed out of Ms. Janeth’s room.

“Sooo…I’m not trying out for anything, but is it cool if I watch you guys try out?” Jim said hopefully.

“Well duh,” Mary flicked her eyes towards the ceiling “You’re our emotional support, very important,”

Darci snickered “Of course, can’t be reciting memorized lines with any fewer than three people in the audience cheering you on,”

“Actually…would you guys be ok if I skipped out on this one?”

Four sets of eyes turned towards Toby, who flashed a nervous grin back at them.

“I want to raid the science lab for some supplies to test Jim’s…bag,”

Claire blinked “It’s ok if you’re not there for tryouts, but what kind of…equipment do you need?”

“It’ll be easier to show you when we meet up after tryouts,” Toby stepped forward and held out a hand “How about it Jimbo? Is it cool if I borrow your…bag for a bit?”

Jim’s expression was pensive, but he slipped the messenger bag off his shoulder and held it out “Uh…ok,”

“Thanks!” Toby snagged the bag and raced away down the hall “Catch you guys later!” hey flashed them a wave with his free hand, leaving behind four nervous and uncertain faces as he rushed through the hall.

--

Darci followed behind the others, Jim in the lead, as they headed up the steps towards his house.

“Remeber to cover your eyes,” Jim said with a forced chuckle “Toby might have a power sander in there,”

Darci opted to keep quiet at that, mainly because she had no idea if Jim was joking or not.

Jim cracked the door and peeked inside “Hey Tobes? You doing ok in here?”

“Come in guys! I think I’ve figured out something important,” Toby sounded super excited,, and mercifully Darci didn’t hear a power sander.

They filed into the living room to see Toby kneeling in front of the coffee table with the pocket watch and what looked like a random collection of rocks, nails, and screws sitting in front of him “You guys remember Moh’s scale of hardness?”

“A little bit…” Claire said slowly.

“It’s the geological scale by which the hardness of minerals is measured on a scale of one to ten. Chalk is one, diamond is ten, and a human fingernail is two and a half,”

Toby snapped his head up, green eyes flashing, a near manic grin on his face “This thing is harder than all of them,”

Darci blinked down at him “What?”

“I tested both the metal casing and the gemstone face, not even the diamond could scratch them,”

“Hang on, did you say diamond?” Mary stepped closer, eyeing the items on the table hungrily.

“An industrial diamond, that I have to put back in Ms. Lancaster’s room before she notices it’s gone,”

Claire slowly approached, kneeling down next to Toby and looking at the pocket watch with piqued interest “Harder than diamond? That…shouldn’t be possible,”

“I know!” Toby threw his hands up in the air “I thought that maybe Ms. Lancaster got ripped off, but I tested her diamond against the rest of the stuff in her kit and my own diamond, it’s the real deal,”

“Back up,” Mary sank to her knees and shoved herself in between them “You have a diamond!?”

“An industrial diamond!”

Darci and Jim were the only two still hanging back, they shared a look and then Jim took half a step closer to her “I’m going to run up to my room to change, be back in a bit,”

“Got it, I’ll keep an eye on this,” she gestured to the three clustered around the coffee table.

Jim nodded headed up the stairs, leaving Darci to watch Toby, Mary, and Claire buzzing over the pocket watch.

“Shouldn’t it be impossible for anything to be harder than diamond?” Claire said slowly, turning the pocket watch over in her hands.

“Technically there is lonsdaleite, but that’s only really found in microscopic quantities inside meteorites, so I doubt that’s what this is. Not to mention both the metal casing and the gemstone face are clearly made of different materials. There’s a chance the face is lonsdaleite and the metal is some kind of superhard synthetic, but I’ve never heard of anything like that being manufacture,” he lifted his head to peek over at Mary sitting next to him “Unless…”

“No, my research hasn’t uncovered anything,” Mary said with a growl, glancing back and forth between her phone and the pocket watch.

Keeping the three in her line of sight, Darci quietly took a seat on the couch across from them. She debated weighing in before deciding against it. If there was something to uncover the three of them would find it.

“A reverse image search turned up absolutely nothing, I couldn’t even find anything on the writing, not even what language it’s in!”

Soft footsteps sounded behind her, Darci turned to see Jim slipping on an extra large hoodie as he descended the stairs. The two of them shared a glance as he reached the main floor, his gaze flickering to the others before he headed back towards the kitchen.

“I swear it’s like this thing just fell out of the sky!”

Toby’s eyes went huge “Do you think it could be…extraterrestrial?”

“How would we even test for that,” Claire muttered, holding the watch right up to her eye.

“That’s a question for tomorrow,” Jim stepped back into the room holding two large bowls, one full of chips the other full of aluminum cans “It’s been a long thirty six hours and I need a break from whatever that thing is,”

He set the bowls on the coffee table and plucked the watch out of Claire’s hand, striding over to the desk in the corner of the room, dropping it inside the drawer and shutting it firmly before moving back to plunk down on the couch next to Darci “Let’s just have a normal afternoon with homework and videogames and tomorrow we can go back to talking about magic and diamonds and all that,”

“Fine,” Toby said, sliding the rocks and nails back into their case “I’ll pack up the Mohs kit for tonight, Mary no pocketing my diamond,”

“Hey I’ve seen it, you can keep that ugly thing,”

They all settled in on the chairs and couches, Jim pulling the bowl of cans onto his lap while Mary grabbed the chips, Claire pulling out a binder from her backpack.

“You guys have any ideas of what to do for your book reports yet?”

Mary snorted “C-bomb that isn’t due for a month,”

“Yeah I’m not planning on thinking about that until three days before it’s due,” Toby added.

“Hey my top priority is getting a lead role in the play, and that means getting everything else out of the wa–”

An ear splitting crunch bleeding into a metallic clang shot through the room, cutting her off.

They all whipped around to see Jim sitting on the couch with a deeply uncomfortable expression on his face, the pocket watch in his hand and under his teeth.

He pried open his mouth with a wince, the pocket watch dropping down into his lap with a soft thud.

“Oww…” the sound escaped Jim as a whisper, nearly a whine.

For a moment no one spoke, Darci whipping her head back and forth between the pocket watch and the desk Jim had put it in.

“Hang on,” Toby slid closer to Jim “Did you just try to eat that thing?”

“I wasn’t trying to eat it,” Jim mumbled, rubbing his jaw, I thought it was more recycling,”

“...dude how hard are your teeth?”

Darci slowly stood off the couch “I thought you put that thing in the desk…” she made her way to the desk and opened it, finding the drawer empty.

“I…did…” Jim said, eyes going wide “None of you moved it right?”

“None of us touched that thing,” Mary said flatly.

“We all would have seen it if one of us did,” Claire added.

“Did…did this thing teleport?” Jim moved to stand up but was halted by Toby’s hands on his shoulders.

“First things first, let me check and make sure none of your teeth are cracked.

Jim rolled his eyes “Tobes–”

“As someone who’s been in orthodontic hell since 7th grade trust me on this, if you have a cracked tooth you’re gonna want to know,”

Jim huffed but opened his mouth wide, allowing Toby to reach inside and start probing at his teeth.

Darci had a brief flash of a book she’d read as a kid about a mouse crawling inside a fox’s mouth to give him dental work before shaking her head and bringing her focus back around to the object in front of them.

“So exactly what made this thing…teleport?” she said slowly. Saying it out loud felt ridiculous, but they’d seen stranger things happen.

“Let’s test it,” Claire stood from the couch “Jim can I–”

“Here,” he held out the pocket watch, Claire plucking it from his grip.

Shifting her gaze from Jim to the watch, Claire took several steps back. Continuing to retreat down the hall until she was out of sight.

“It’s…not doing anything,” she called out before walking back into the room and setting the pocket watch down on the coffee table.

“Come to think of it TP had it all afternoon,” Mary glanced over at Toby.

“Yeah,” he replied “I was running tests on it for hours and it didn’t move once,”

Jim leaned forward “So then why now did it…”

“Maybe it only teleports for you,”

All eyes in the room swiveled towards Darci, who squirmed under the scrutiny but continued “I mean…it stayed in place for Claire and Toby, but moved out of the desk when you put it in there. And you said you didn’t remember putting it in your bag this morning, so maybe…”

“Maybe…” Jim nodded slowly, picking up the watch to turn it over a few times before setting it back down “Let’s test it out,”

He stood from the couch and backed away out of the room.

The instant he was out of sight the watch popped out of sight in a blue flash, making all four of them jump.

Within seconds Jim stepped back into the room, eyes wide and face blank and pocket watch clutched in his hand.

“You guys see that too?”

“Yep,” Toby said with a pop, drumming his palms against his knees with barely concealed anxiety “We just saw that thing vanish out of existence, unless I’m hallucinating and you guys are just going along with it,”

“Nope, unless we’re all experiencing a mass hallucination that definitely just happened," Darci said, eyeing the pocket watch uneasily.

Claire stood and moved towards Jim, Mary right on her heels “Did it actually move towards you or did it, like, appear and disappear?”

“Appear and disappear…I think,” Jim stared down at the watch while turning it over in his hand “I didn’t see it moving, just one second my pocket was empty and the next this thing was in there,”

“Sounds like it doesn’t move through space, but teleports directly to you,”

Toby hopped off the couch and ran to join them, pulling Jim’s arm down to stare at the object. Not wanting to be left alone in the Darci stood and walked over as well.

“But does it dematerialize and rematerialize?” Toby leaned in until the pocket watch was only inches away from his face “Or does it move through some other plane of existence where distance and physical barriers don’t matter?”

A tiny smile formed on Claire’s face “I’ve got a few ideas on how to find out,”

--

“Alright Darci give me your best shot!”

She grinned, making a show of winding up her arm “Heeeeeey batter batter batter, can’t hit can’t hit can’t hit– swing!”

She threw the watch at Jim with her best overhand. Jim striking it in midair with a perfectly timed swing of the bat, the watch whizzing over her head and into the trees, zooming through the air out of sight.

“There’s the hit…” Jim stepped back, allowing Mary to move in front of him, catcher’s mitt at the ready “It’s going, going…” he reached out to gently grasp Mary’s elbow, moving her mitt up ever so slightly to cover her face. In the distance through the woods Darci heard a whistling sound getting steadily louder.

The pocket watch shot out of the trees and straight towards Mary, landing hard in the mitt making her grunt and stagger back, but still with a triumphant grin on her face.

Darci threw both arms in the air with a cheer “Homerun!”

“If you guys don’t stop butchering baseball lingo I’m going to have to come over there,”

The three of them looked back towards where Toby and Claire were setting up their supplies on the ground of the backyard.

Mary scoffed “C’mon TP we all know you just want another turn being catcher,” she waved the mitt and the watch in his direction.

“Hey two things can be true,”

“Actually I think we’re all set,” Claire stood and dusted her hands off “You ready?”

“Sure,” Jim plucked the watch out of Mary’s glove and approached. He kneeled down on the ground in front of the supplies, the rest of them gathering in to watch “So where should I start…”

Claire swiftly snagged a canvas bag off the ground and held it out towards him “First pack it in this bag with the moly,”

Jim obediently dropped the watch in the bag, dried plants crinkling as he did, and tied it shut.

“Now put it in this steel lockbox,” Toby held the box in question out towards Jim. Jim gently setting the bag inside and clicking the lock shut. 

“Now we bind the box with chains of iron and silver,” Claire handed him a length of chain and some silver jewelry, Jim dutifully winding them around the box.

“And this rosary,” 

“And these iron beads,”

“And this Saint Michael Medallion,”

But the time Jim was done the lockbox was barely visible under all the layers of chains and beads.

Toby stood “Now put the whole thing in the oak chest,” he gestured towards the wide open wooden chest with a flourish, Jim gently setting the box down inside with Claire shutting the lid after.

For a moment they all stood around watching the chest, waiting for something to happen.

Toby shifted from foot to foot “So did it…”

“Nope,” Jim reached into his hoodie and pulled out the watch “Showed up in my pocket in two seconds,”

“Well that settles it,” Darci stepped up and patted the top of the chest “When someone takes that thing away it stays away, but when Jim leaves it somewhere there is absolutely nothing that can stop it from flying or teleporting back to him,”

“Still curious about possible interdimensional travel…” Toby muttered, tapping his chin thoughtfully, only to have Claire nudge him out of his thoughts.

“Hey don’t mean to rush, but can you get my moly out?”

“Oh sure let me just grab the key…” Toby reached into his front pocket only to instantly go stiff. He quickly started going through all his other pockets before slowly turning towards Claire, face red “Ok don’t be mad…”

“You lost the key!?”

“Hey I have it…somewhere, and I’ve got a spare…I think, look I haven’t used that lockbox since I was ten!”

“Do you know how much moly costs?!”

“Ok ok ok,” Toby held up his hands placatingly “You can take the box home with you and I’ll give you the key when I find it, or I’ll find a guy who can pick locks, whichever comes first,”

Claire didn’t say anything, but narrowed her gaze at him as she kneeled down and lifted the lid of the trunk.

Or she would have if the lid of the trunk hadn’t stayed where it was with a soft thud of opposition.

Mary arched an eyebrow “Claire uh…did you lock the trunk?”

Claire’s face went blank “I uh…didn’t know it locked,”

“What!? Nana’s jewelry is still in there!”

“How was I supposed to know it locked!”

“It is your trunk…” Mary mumbled.

“I told her we were just borrowing it for some rocks and minerals homework, what am I gonna say when she wants it back!?”

“Ok guys,” Jim stepped forward and eased himself between Claire and Toby “Let’s just chill for a second. Your stuff isn’t going anywhere,” he gestured down at the chest “You guys can take a few days to look for the keys, and if you get desperate enough I’m pretty sure I can get in there with brute force,”

Both Toby and Claire huffed a bit but calmed down.

Darci cleared her throat “Well hey, we learned a lot,”

“Yeah we learned to always keep track of your keys, and that this thing can teleport back to Jim,” Mary cut in “But we still don’t know what it is or where it came from and have no idea how to find out!”

“Actually…” Jim said slowly “I think I have an idea for where we can learn more…”

He shook his head “But not right now,” he tossed the watch in Darci’s direction, her reflexively catching it.

“Right now I just want to play catch with this thing until we pass out from exhaustion, or the mothership comes back for it, whichever happens first,”

“We can make that happen,” Toby plucked the catcher's mitt from Mary’s grip while Claire grabbed the bat, all of them getting into position.

[princesssarisa]

I have a few questions for Jane Austen fans about one important scene in Pride and Prejudice.

I still remember the post that circulated some time ago about the fact that when Darcy makes his first proposal, he finds Elizabeth alone because she's stayed behind with a headache while the others have gone to Rosings for tea. A stress headache caused by her overwhelming rage at the reveal that it was Darcy who persuaded Bingley not to marry Jane. Which gives her even more reason for responding to his insulting proposal by verbally ripping him to shreds.

I was surprised by how many people responded to that post by saying that they always thought Elizabeth just pretended to have a headache to avoid seeing Darcy at Rosings.

The text doesn't seem ambiguous to me: the omniscient narrator states that Elizabeth had a headache caused by her stress, which combined with her reluctance to see Darcy to make her stay behind:

The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned brought on a headache; and it grew so much worse towards the evening that, added to her unwillingness to see Mr. Darcy, it determined her not to attend her cousins to Rosings, where they were engaged to drink tea

But some people would argue that Austen is just being playful. She often makes sarcastic statements that blatantly aren't true, so maybe the above is just her playful way of stating that Elizabeth faked a headache to avoid seeing Darcy. It doesn't come across that way to me, but then I'm on the autism spectrum and don't always understand subtext either in real life or in fiction.

I already wrote a post asking people how they interpret this passage, but I thought I'd ask it again. Real headache or fake headache?

Then, of course, Darcy arrives. I've been wondering: how do other readers interpret his choice to visit and propose to Elizabeth then and there? Here's the text:

In a hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:—

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

In the small amount of commentary I've read so far, I've come across three interpretations of Darcy's actions at this point.

(a) The most generous: He visits out of genuine concern for Elizabeth, and upon seeing that she's feeling better, he decides that now is as good a time as any to propose.

(b) Slightly less generous: When he hears that she's alone with a headache, he decides to seize the opportunity to go and propose, using "inquiry after her health" as an excuse.

(c) The least generous: When he hears that she's alone with a headache, since he thinks she knows his interest in her and has been encouraging him, he assumes she must be faking the headache to give him the chance to find her alone and propose.

Unless I'm forgetting some line or other, the last suggestion seems a little bit far-fetched to me – not that he thinks she's been encouraging him, that of course is true, but that he should think she's faking the headache just to make him visit her.

But I could believe either the first or the second interpretation. Does anyone else have any views on the subject?

@anghraine, @bethanydelleman

[jellyfishjuliet]

the ooh mr darcy comic but bart is darcy and kon is elizabeth. when they boink, cassie’s bodice rips, and it magically turns tim gayer than he already is.