#rip guy who got bodysnatched
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˚₊‧꒰ა △ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
#bill cipher#gravity falls#what do we think did I do him justice I leaned into the demon vibes#real question would u smooch him#perhaps enter into a toxic yaoi situationship w him#oh btw this isn’t like a 1-1 bill shifting into human this is him possessing some dude for the long term#rip guy who got bodysnatched
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SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!
OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:
Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)
Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip
Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate
The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen
Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?
Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)
There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world
Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?
They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?
Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream
“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line
I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura
There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere
Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one
There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?
They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?
Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?
Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!
Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol
Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao
Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?
Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign
Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead
Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams
They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?
Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.
There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it
Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary
This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for
Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way
Tary’s dad sucks
He writes a book
Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it
Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?
When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast
He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao
Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny
Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)
Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him
Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think
“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!
There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry
They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead
Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay
Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too
And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess
Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)
Assumptions!!!!!
More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of
The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?
Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam
Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura
Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires
Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral
Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair
I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)
From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.
Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE
Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.
There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan
It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao
Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup
It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break
It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces
They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth
I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory
I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones.
I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however
My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”
I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?
This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc
Let’s see if I’m right
#critical role#campaign 1#ramblings#Vox Machina#campaign 1 spoilers#c1e01#c2e114#c1e115#will start rewatch (just first episode) either today or tomorrow
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so after making the “frenrey but like ‘john carpenter’s the thing but if the alien was a gamer and had a crush on macready’” joke so many times... whoops i’m thinking about a hlvrai/the thing crossover au ha ha wouldn’t follow the exact plot of the movie, but some scenes from it would still be present. like the alien, in this case benrey, first showing up to the american base in the form of a husky dog while being chased and shot at by the two survivors from the norwegian base, and the blood test scene because that scene fuckin’ rips in this au, it wouldn’t end with everybody killed/assimilated/freezing to death. in this au, the alien catches feelings and the ending is decidedly happier. well, except for the people who do still get assimilated, anyway. benny boy gotta eat, y’know.
there’s not enough members of the science team to fill all the roles of the characters from the movie... which just means that i can fill the extra roles out with some red shirts for benrey to snack :) not sure about everybody’s roles, ‘cept gordon is obviously in mac’s place, and tommy cares for the sled dogs. (also the dogs don’t die in this. benrey doesn’t have the exact same goals as the alien in the movie, and thus doesn’t try to assimilate the other dogs. nobody ever kills the dogs to prevent people from leaving either) at first benrey’s motives are “fix/build ship to get the fuck off this planet”, but when he gets to the american base... something about some of the humans there piques his interest. especially gordon. he doesn’t try to assimilate them, instead choosing to just observe them, both from his dog form and some of the split off bodies he accumulates after assimilating and impersonating some of the other, less interesting humans at the base. his first human victim at the base is forzen. sorry forzen, you get thing-a-fied right away. (doing this based on my headcanon for normal hlvrai where there was no ‘forzen’, that was just benrey puppeting a random soldier for Pranks). nobody ever notices there being something off with forzen, both due to benrey having access to forzen’s memories, and the fact that nobody else at the base really knew him that well to begin with. also, benrey gets his way of speaking from forzen, and uses forzen’s voice whenever he’s speaking in a human language while not impersonating a specific human. he blames his interest in gordon on all the human brains he assimilated messing with his own feelings. because, uh?? finding a person who isn’t even his own species attractive??? not to mention benrey’s not even an organism that needs to engage in sexual or romantic relationships in the first place??? he blames the humans he absorbed for these feelings. but he doesn’t like, complain about these feelings. he’s totally down with them, in fact. he gets attached to tommy, after all the good pets and cuddles and scritches tommy gave his dog body. who knew being petted felt so great? darnold gets off the hook, because tommy really likes darnold, and benrey’s eaten enough humans to know that they get really sad when another organism they care about dies. he leaves all the dogs alone for this same reason. bubby and coomer are not on the menu because benrey finds their personalities way too entertaining. with them still being separate from him, he can never predict what wild shit they’re gonna do next, and he gets such a kick out of it. everybody else in the base, tho? lookin’ like snacks. a veritable buffet of new DNA to absorb. before someone notices the red shirts are getting killed off by something (a something that they later suspect came from the norwegian base, after they go investigate it), benrey slips out of the kennel with his dog body at night to go hang in gordon’s room. at first he’s just content to just. inspect gordon. take in all his little details. ponder if the reason he finds gordon attractive can be attributed to the taste of someone he ate at the norwegian base, or if he’s developed his own unique preferences. but then gordon wakes up and sees the dog sitting there staring up at him. he’s confused about how the fuck the dog got out of the pen, but is too tired to take it back. so he just pats the space on the bed by him and invites the pup up and benrey is internally ‘holy shit oh my god aaaa???’ and gladly hops on up for some Choice Snuggles. gordon doesn’t bother to stop this from being a nightly thing, because dog is warm and they’re in fucking antarctica, you do the math. he is completely unsure what to think, though, when he discovers that the very affectionate dog he’s been cuddling with every night is actually a shape-shifting alien horror that’s been slowly eating and impersonating his fellow researchers. when the surviving humans start making a plan of action to find and kill the alien menace, benrey is conflicted. he could go ahead and just eat them all, take the base for himself, and get to building his ship to get back to space... but he LIKES (most of) the humans that are left. he’s developed a major case of the Human Emotions and would feel bad if he ate these guys. :( eventually he chooses to reveal himself to just gordon, during a rare moment when he’s able to catch gordon alone (the humans started keeping close together when they realized a bodysnatcher was among them), and tries to be as non-threatening as physically possible while doing so. tries to explain that he wants to be friends, and only ate those guys (and the guys at the norwegian base) because he had to. survival instincts and shit. he was in a real bad ship crash and his very injured body got frozen in ice for god knows HOW long and he had a whole lot of energy replenishing and DNA adjusting to do. put down the flamethrower please and thank you? for friend benry? also, benrey picked “benry” as his human/earth name, based on tommy naming his dog body “ben” (”He just looks like a Ben to me. :)” ), and then adding the “ry” at the end himself cause all these humans he likes have two syllable names and he didn’t wanna be left out. he’s got that instinct to integrate, and if he can’t do it through assimilation, he can try and do it through social conventions at least! even if human social behavior is a little hard for him to grasp/get right sometimes. also also, he’s still a gamer. but doesn’t discover that he likes video games until after he absorbs and impersonates forzen. his forzen body gets invited to play some video games with the other guys during break times, and he falls in love instantly. “brooooo how come none of the other sapients i’ve eaten ever invented video games??? humans are so good at having fun wtf. this is the best. i love video games.” AND THAT’S ALL THE THOUGHTS I’VE GOT ABOUT THE AU SO FAR. i only JUST started seriously thinking about it last night, so. not too solid yet.
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I heard bout the way they treated Quackerjack in the comics, yeah I’m mad too! Is it true that Sparrow guy projected himself in that portrayal? Cause if so then YIKES
Again, @speikobrarote and @violetvenom have more info on that than me, but yeeeah, the whole thing keeps getting more oof the more I look at it...
I mean, I'm all for QuackerJack taking charge of the group maybe once or twice in a while, since he's been more than capable of doing his own solo schemes in the original series ("Days of Blunder" is a prime example of just how formidable he is in almost succeeding in robbing the city blind and how you shouldn't try to cross him), but this:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2e613f0740952386b3e85c55c9b93b4f/58feae332fb9aab2-c2/s540x810/cfa2b0c403f3e40f41b5e6ce8208d53bb3262998.jpg)
That's not okay. He knows that Megavolt's stored electricity is like a life source. Friends don't use friends as car batteries. 👀
Like, everyone is going to have thier own take on a character, especially in a Fandom that produces fan content. The great thing about fanon and headcanons is that it's entirely speculative and all in good fun at the end of the day. Nothing I say is going to be considered canon, and nothing I do is going to affect the character history because I am a fan who has no baring on the universe whatsoever. My AU can literally be described as me ripping out the last page in "Toy With Me" to substitute my own extension. I can do that because I'm a fan content creator, I'm not affiliated with anyone, and I'm not really altering any of the established media. 🙃
But if you're actually hired by the people who own rights to a particular part of a franchise and you've been selected to curate a portion of the series, and you're producing a piece of story that's going to be a sort of continuation of the main timeline, then you can't just go around and change an established character's core elements while still claiming it's the same character unchanged.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a57a1babdba1d2847cd11eab863f8c3e/58feae332fb9aab2-c7/s540x810/7a94617a1eddcae118d3277ac6a97addb9ce5d66.jpg)
These are not the same QuackerJack. I'm not even talking about the art style, I'm just talking about how they carry themselves.
Cartoon!QuackerJack has a bit of a swayback or poor posture, usually twists himself into odd positions and had a particular default expression when caught off guard. His eyes have a tendency to go a little screwy, but he can still pull off a really good scowl when he's frustrated or annoyed.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dfc8eadd135b61440a24e11f1bdba7f9/58feae332fb9aab2-15/s540x810/55a3ca747ca127fa9071033072b711d9461c62e5.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/debe7381274be9d90576f237f142ba19/58feae332fb9aab2-06/s540x810/5f1c685625674a8c06427cb4356d14337ef7792a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/89255c32fc90791426f636118c89bc5e/58feae332fb9aab2-31/s540x810/ec3a21873a8d0cdc1f0a87e26a471352bbac5d79.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f59dc8d7682a9fb913d7d379472b470/58feae332fb9aab2-91/s540x810/ea1479c3b145f5b80bee91185f4e26ad3fcc0318.jpg)
Comic!QuackerJack carries himself with a posture that just seems off. His eyes are too focused, his pupils are too constricted, I have only found maybe one (1) panel where he actually goes wall-eyed while being zapped, but other than that, his face just seems... off. There's something very wrong, and I can't exactly explain how it seems like it, but it just looks like someone else has taken over that character like a bodysnatcher or something.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2668e023bca80fc6191944d00402c011/58feae332fb9aab2-0c/s540x810/a8df1f6cf22f0eb0267adf19ab5a6f8e15c7a584.jpg)
Comic!QuackerJack is an entirely different entity. He belongs in a different universe than the Cartoon!QuackerJack. Since the comics pretty much present the idea of "Infinite Darkwings" existing as a strange piece of canon, I'm going to just assume the comics aren't exactly the Prime universe and that it takes place as a somewhat strange mirror universe where things are just slightly off enough to make thier personal recountings of "canon" questionable.
Arguably, the portrayal in the DT17 episode, "Let's Get Dangerous" was a closer return to basics than the 2011 comics. Yeah, there's a lot to point out and complain, I'm sure, but at the very least, we got him laughing and causing trouble again, and it was so good to see him do a new cartwheel for the first time in media in nearly 30 years.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d49d24c2c45707d8934f39b308513c49/58feae332fb9aab2-58/s540x810/c874d3a7a87cb9635227f2115ec9ee87173e8296.jpg)
I'd be more inclined to believe that the QuackerJack in DT17 was a closer offshoot of the core character than the comic QuackerJack, and I'd say that he was clearly handled by someone who actually had an understanding of what should make QuackerJack appear to be a "QuackerJack"
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2f636a712e3f691cf0a51f0a278231d9/58feae332fb9aab2-80/s540x810/3929796d42541181a1c9b823db8a119b4a9c09a3.jpg)
DT17!QuackerJack ain't perfect, but he definitely feels more familiar.
... Ah, this turned into a bit of a rant, didn't it? Aw, nuts...
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Old Friends
Gray dawn broke over Stormwind City. The last stars hung dimly in the sky overhead as more and more light slowly filled up the dark spaces of the human metropolis. These early morning hours were when most of the city’s working folk made their way out of their modest homes and trudged towards whatever task awaited them. The streets were just crowded enough that Kordya Pavlov could pass through them undetected. The layer of sleep still sitting on most overnight guard’s eyes gave her some protection from recognition. Normally she tried to avoid delving this deep into the city, but today Kordya had her own task to attend to. An old friend was expecting her, and she hated to disappoint.
As she cut through the back alleys of the Old Town, Kordya began to smell the coal ash chugging out of the Dwarven district. Right about now the smiths and craftspeople would be stoking the flames from last night’s embers, ready to start a hard day’s work all over again. The smell bristled in her nose and she shook her head to expel it. Kordya walked on by the Dwarves at work, not stopping to admire their constant drive or revel in a hard day’s labor.
“At least I’m not breaking my back like those chumps,” she thought to herself, as she tried to ignore how badly the smell of coal reminded her of a long lost home.
She finally reemerged at the canals, where the coal scent was blown away on a sea breeze funneled through the entrance to the harbor. She inhaled deeply, letting it wash the earth off her as she hurried down the street. The sky was turning from deep gray to lavender, and she would need fleet feet to make it to her destination by daybreak.
Kordya looked down from the ramparts and saw a large crowd gathered at the base of the docks. A wooden platform and gallows had been erected in the looming shadow of the gilded lion’s head protruding from the stone wall behind it. Before the Prince pulled a classic Wrynn Disappearing Act, he kept the gritty practice tucked away inside the stockades and far from public scrutiny. Ever since the regency began, the High Exarch has had no such issue and resumed public executions. A hanging would always draw a crowd, and served as a not so subtle reminder of what fate awaited those who would flee from the Crown’s justice. The bleak scene caused dread to settle in her gut like she’d swallowed a stone, heavy and uncomfortable. She pulled her hood up over her mop of copper curls and began her descent. Kordya disappeared at the edge of the spectators just as the provost began to read the sentence.
“Let it be known that Frederick Albert Lafollette, of the village of Lakeshire, has been convicted of the crimes henceforth stated: Fraud, thievery, assault, arson on five counts, murder on two counts, and piracy against the Alliance Navy. For these crimes, by order of High Exarch Turalyon, he is hereby sentenced to hanging by the neck until he is dead.”
The crowd booed and hissed as the crimes came one after another. Kordya had shuffled her way closer to the center where she might get a closer look. A giant of a man, Frederick looked like he could rip clean through the ropes binding his hands in front of his person, should the desire strike him. He had been worked over, that was clear even from where Kordya was standing. His eye was blackened and his nostrils were crusted with dried blood. Though he stood in the face of his own demise, his expression was serene like a meditating monk. To the strangers gathered to watch him die, he was just another criminal. To Kordya, he would always be Freddy.
Suddenly, a gloved hand pressed against the small of her back. Kordya went stiff as a board, her fingers hovering above the pistol slung around her hips. Before she could cause a scene, a quiet voice spat out an explanation from just over her shoulder.
“Don’t get hasty now, Kordy. It’s your ol’ pal, Earle. You ain’t wantin’ to lose two old scarabs in a day now, are ya?”
Kordya whipped her head around to match the voice to the face in her mind. Earle was already older than dirt when Kordya first met him some ten years ago. Now he was brown as a nut and wrinkled like an old saddle bag. He smiled a leathery grin, his few remaining teeth hanging down to match the tufts of white hair poking out of his ears. Earle was wearing a tattered hide cloak, and pulled his hood up to match Kordya as he took his spot beside her. She did not mind his closeness, but wished he had taken a dip in any body of water before showing up today. The pink hues of the sunrise behind them gave a faint glow to the early morning mist still hanging in the air and warmed their backs as the minutes dragged on.
“I wasn’t sure anybody else would show up,” mumbled Kordya.
“Oh, s’no trouble for me. I been stayin’ down round the cemetery, so I make it out to most of the hangin’s.”
“You got a room or are you roughing it?”
“You know me, kid. I’ll let you take a guess.”
Kordya nodded curtly. She got the picture. The two stood in silence for a while- unsure of what to say to the other. They were not the same people who had formed a comradery all those years ago. What tied them together in the past was just that; the past. Their time with the Blue Scarabs wasn’t a pretty memory for either of them. If nothing else, the hollow feeling that came along when reminiscing about those days was one thing that they actually had in common. Being here for Freddy, of course, was another.
The provost held his palm up to silence the crowd’s jeering. When the noise had settled, he continued reading from the scroll in his hands.
“If Mr. Lafollette should have any last words, speak them now.”
Freddy’s gaze was cast over the crowd and out to the sea, where deep blue waters crashed against the rocky shore. He cleared his throat with a rumble, and Kordya held her breath.
“Tell my mother I’m sorry, that it ain’t her fault I ended up the way I did. And tell her I’ll get even with Pop for what he did to us, when I see him in hell.”
His voice called out clear and true and his gaze squinted against the rising sun. A flash of copper caught his eye and dragged his attention down to the crowd, where two familiar faces looked back at him with recognition and sorrow. When Freddy realized who he was looking at, he smiled sadly. Kordya smiled back, but felt the hot sting of tears welling behind her eyes.
“We’re here for you, Freddy. We came. You don’t have to do this alone,” the words screamed in her mind, but there was no need to say it out loud. Freddy understood it all, just from the way she held his gaze.
The hangman looked shrimpy compared to his charge. Freddy had to lean down, rather courteously of him, to let the hooded man slip the brown sack over his head. The crowd murmured as the priest read his last rites. A noose was fashioned around his neck, the provost signaled the hangman, and the trap door fell out from underneath Frederick Albert Lafollette. The snap of his neck would echo in Kordya’s mind for the rest of her days. He died quickly, the sheer weight of the man mercifully sped along the process. Cheers erupted from the gathered spectators as he swung. It made Kordya hate them all for their cruelty. Earle gently squeezed her hand with his boney fingers and tore her away from Freddy’s fate.
As the sun crept higher in the sky the crowd slowly trickled away until only a few remained. Kordya and Earle waited on the fringe, each had nowhere else to be. The guards had taken Freddy’s body down and wrapped him in a dirty shroud; it took five men to lift him into the crypt keeper’s cart. A Gnome with lime green hair was arguing with the driver about its destination, and the ruckus was drawing all sorts of attention.
“Fifteen gold pieces!”
“Get lost, Gnome.”
“T-Twenty! Twenty gold pieces for the giant!”
“I done told you once, I’m taking this corpse to the graveyard. He’s not for sale.”
As the cart pulled away, Freddy’s body in tow, the green-haired Gnome shook his tiny fist and cursed the driver’s name. Another Gnome, this one with hair the color of candyfloss, was trying to calm him down.
“We can’t let such a specimen escape! We should follow him, wait til the burial is done, and then-”
“Think very carefully before you finish that sentence, pipsqueak.”
Kordya pressed the barrel of her pistol down onto the top of the green one’s skull, and cocked it. He dared not move from that spot, but still could not stop his limbs from trembling. The little wannabe-bodysnatcher reminded her of a tiny, yapping dog. One flash of Earle’s smile was enough to send the pink one running. The old man set to emptying the Gnome-sized pockets in the vicinity as Kordya spoke.
“Listen, I’m a reasonable kinda gal. I know you weren’t thinkin’ of doing something to our dearly departed friend’s body. Cause if you were, well…”
She dropped to one knee and slid her gun down the back of his lime pompadour to get within earshot.
“I’d have to hunt your little friend down, and make the two of you into a new pair of boots for them to bury him in. It’s the reasonable thing to do, for a guy like Freddy. He’s a big guy! I’d say you’re about as long as his foot…” Kordya eyed the trembling man up and down, and sized him up as if she might actually be serious. It was enough to scare the color from his previously rosy cheeks.
“N-NO! I wasn’tgoingtodoanythingyouHAVEtoBELIEVEme I- I- I-”
With a kick of her muck-covered boot, she sent the Gnome stumbling to the ground and freed him from her hold. “Scram. Now.” she ordered. He did not waste time. The Gnome skittered away as fast as his legs could carry him, Kordya and Earle watched as the tiny speck of green disappeared into the distance. The old man snickered a bit, but the somber occasion still sat heavily on both their shoulders. Kordya holstered her pistol and kicked the dirt in the Gnome’s direction.
“Good riddance, son of a bitch. Vultures! He’s barely even cold, and they’re tryin’ to scrap him for parts.”
“You got that little feller pretty good, Kordy. I’d say you ain’t got to worry about Freddy now.”
She let out a shaky sigh she didn’t know she was holding and fumbled for the brass cigarette case she kept in her shirt pocket. Kordya scraped a match across the stone walls and lit up two, one for her and one for Earle. Before handing it over, she met his gaze.
“Promise me you’ll make sure they get him in the ground, and that he stays there. At least for tonight.”
“I ain’t much of a fighter no more, but I’ll keep watch over ‘em. Course I will, Kordy.”
She bought his time with a smoke they shared on the ramparts. Neither spoke again until the cigarettes had burned down to nothing. Earle snapped his fingers as the thought hit him.
“Aw shit, kid. I almost forgot! Freddy let me in on a big score comin’ his way, somethin’ he ain’t never saw before. Gimmie anothern’ and I’ll tell you what it is.”
He waggled his eyebrows, focus locked on the shiny brass case. Kordya smirked and tugged two more sticks from her stash.
“I see you ain’t lost the touch.”
“I worked a lot of jobs in my years, but I never did nothin’ for free.”
He winked at her and popped the little rolled paper between his lips. After taking a couple puffs, Earle got back to the proposal.
“Fred was tellin’ me all about this big time job that falls into his lap, right? Some E-thereal feller in fancy armor wanted him to pick up some products for buyers and deliver ‘em to where they’s goin’. Only catch is, the feller’s real secret. Freddy said he was part of some kinda cartel, but not one he ever heard of.” He took a long drag, then continued. “You know where Freddy’s old place was? That might be a good place to start.”
Kordya had already risen to her feet before he could finish talking. She offered a hand to pull the bag of bones up off the steps, which he gladly took. Earle placed a hand on her shoulder before she could set off.
“Good luck, Kordy. Don’t get caught.”
“Thanks, Earle. You too.”
The old friends parted ways having savored the moment, albeit brief, after all these years. Earle kept his promise, and watched over their fallen comrade through the night like a toothless guardian angel. Kordya had caught the scent of her next payday, and there was no stopping her now. She couldn’t wait to get back to the Mogu.
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