#rin already knows this stuff bc of mednin training but what she knows is like the suuuuper clinical version
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#also YES racist itachi agenda. I'm sorry he's been drinking the koolaid his whole life.#Itachi (with ROOT sex ed): But isn't sex a mark of weakness in the mind and will of a shinobi who gives into their base desires?#yoji (has to pretend to be normal): I'm. sure Taichou did what was best for the mission. I trust his judgement. As a shinobi.#Tenzou (WANTS people to think he's normal): Plus the target was a man. so maybe it doesn't count?#Yugao (doesn't want this dumbass 11 year old get groomed and has SEEN some shit): Yes it counts. You'll understand when you're older.#Itachi: but what if-#Kakashi: The next person who talks is writing the mission report. Shut the fuck UP and go to sleep.#(ALSO just to clarify. Kakashi got his sex ed from Jiraiya and doesn't see any ANBU as kids. he isn't flustered by their questions he's#SUPER annoyed. and also Yugao keeps yelling at him for being so explicit in his answers because itachi is ELEVEN.)
now i'm imagining minato trying to figure out how to give kakashi The Talk and just having jiraiya do it since he vaguely recalls it was fun last time (note that "last time" jiraiya was drunk as hell, and he's just as drunk this time too)
akatsuki flat earthers
unfollow me if you think the earth is flat:
sasori, kakuzu
seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to to antagonize anti-flat earther (see above):
deidara
neutral, but makes polls to start fights “is the earth flat? 🤔 let’s discuss”:
zetsu, obito
NOT a flat earther but makes “the earth may be flat but this ass isn’t” jokes for viral tweets:
konan, kisame
actual flat earther:
hidan, pein, itachi
#naruto#naruto shippuden#uchiha itachi#hatake kakashi#jiraiya#namikaze minato#rin already knows this stuff bc of mednin training but what she knows is like the suuuuper clinical version#so she knows a lot about all the things that can go wrong and basically nothing about ''also it feels good''#obito learned in the cave#weirdly he's the most normal about sex#then again madara is apparently a very good teacher once you get past all the rambling about hashirama#obito also has a more normal sex life than kakashi#in spite of exclusively sleeping with people who think he's an insane old supposedly dead man who steals eyeballs#meanwhile kakashi has had sex like twice and the first time he just went off what he knew from icha icha. it uh. it went. it went somewhere#the second time was the honeypot and fortunately the person he was seducing was ALSO an icha icha fan and thought it was roleplay#yuugao assumes he's making that last part up to fuck with her but she's too preoccupied with getting him to shut up in front of the kids#kakashi: ffs yuugao kids can hear about sex it won't kill them#yuugao: no it won't but it's very weird for a grown man to be giving small children details on his sex life!#itachi: *being completely ignored* i'm not small#kakashi: not if they ask!#yuugao: YES IF THEY ASK
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