#rigid set up boxes
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imhpackaging · 1 year ago
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Custom Rigid Boxes
Custom rigid boxes known as custom gift boxes, ideal for high-end items. Gain value at each level closure to insert to support and assembly possibilities. Order Now! imhpackaging.com/product/custom-rigid-boxes/
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opens-up-4-nobody · 14 days ago
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#i dont think im a bad person. i dont think i behave in ways that are especially terrible. i dont hate myself. but i do believe i deserve to#suffer. and im not sure how to align those incongruent ideas. its hard to articulate because a lot of my rigidity stems from restrictions#without cause. i don't do things for a specific reason. im not afraid that if dont do specific things it will cause bad things to happen. i#behave in specific ways because thats what i have to do. thats just the way it is. without reason. without cause. like im getting dictates#from some higher power. a lot of my restrictive behaviors manifest in a sort of religious way. not in a religious trauma way. the church i#grew up in was all love thy neighbor and not fire and brimstone. its more that this rigid views is deeply and profoundly rooted in how i#belive i need to behave. i behave imperfectly. i make mistakes. and there has to be a consequence. i have to suffer. and thats just how it#is. like preying for forgiveness or committing self flagellation. i repent through self punishment. and when i try to imagine why i do this#all i can think about is being a little kid. praying before i went to bed. not aloud. the prayers i kept silent. that nobody would get sick#and die. that all the kids in childrens hospitals would get better and that nothing bad would ever happen to anyone. i had a pretty idealic#childhood. it was stable and my parents loved me a lot. i was never really bullied in school. my family was comfortably middle class without#money troubles. and i guess i find that difficult to contend with because i didnt do anything to deserve that. it was just luck. and why#should i have that when other ppl dont? but random things dont happen to you because you did something to warrent them. thats not how the#world works. so maybe im seeking to balance the scale. maybe im trying to pay for my good luck because it makes more sense that way.#sins must be punished and good fortune must be paid for. but only for me. i am an isolated entity controlled by an angry god.#and again. i dont hate myself or thing im a bad person. it only seems fair and correct that i should suffer. thats just how it is.#and how do you classify that? its a rigid worldview that sprauls out into restructions and compulsions. a lens warped from through#existential fear? the rot from which 0cd manifested? a set of restrictions born of aut1sm? i dunno. it doesnt really matter but i try to#classify anyway. maybe it doesnt fit neatly into one box. so it goes.#just stupid bullshit im being forced to deal with now that im basically in triple therapy lol#unrelated
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fayes-fics · 1 year ago
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Lessons In Motion
Lessons Series Masterpost
Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader (threesome)
Summary: An eventful carriage ride with the boys.
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, MMF threesome, no incest, dom/sub dynamics - dom!Bridgertons sub!reader, masturbation, dirty talk, mild degradation, light spanking/slapping, hair pulling, vaginal fingering, cockwarming, exhibitionism, breast play, edging, bondage restraint, sensory deprivation (blindfold), anal sex, vaginal sex, double penetration.
Word Count: 6.3k
Authors note: Is this the threesome I should be writing? No of course not. Sorry. This was indeed inspired by the synchronised head tilt in the s3 trailer 🤷‍♀️ Part of Lessons-verse, chronologically this takes place before Lessons in Breeding. Thank you to @colettebronte for betaing. Enjoy! <3
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You bounce nervously in your shoes, craning to see the ride you are awaiting. 
You slipped out the side entrance of the music hall, eager to escape prying eyes, leaving them to exit through the front, picking up their family carriage together. Being a guest in the family box for the evening is one thing; an unattached woman leaving publicly with two of the most eligible bachelors in the country is another matter entirely—you have no desire to provoke the wagging tongues of the Ton. But that does not mean you wish for your night with them to be over, far from it.
With a whinny, a two-horse carriage rounds the corner into the quiet street a few hundred yards from the venue and comes to a halt before you. The windows are all obscured by thick, draped curtains. So much so that you hesitate, hang back under the shadow of the mature oak. Until that is, the door swings open, and a very familiar face pops out, expression bemused.
“Does my girl not wish for a carriage?” Anthony teases with an expectant, fond tone.
You giggle and rush towards the vehicle, climbing in quickly. The door slams behind you as a fist knocks upon the ceiling to indicate for the driver to move on. The carriage is dimly lit by one tiny glass lantern flame flickering, both sets of eyes are eager on you, that molten heat in your belly as you sit opposite them, both so handsome.
“Did you enjoy your evening, gentlemen?” you query, feigning innocence.
They both comedically tilt their heads in brotherly unison, matching bemused grins claiming their lips as Benedict giggles behind his fist.
“Considering where you had your hands all night, you know well we did,” he pipes up, raising an eyebrow pointedly. 
“Twas rather a boring recital, sir.” Your invocation of his play title makes his chest swell and his pupils dilate. “Should I not have kept myself sufficiently entertained?” He appreciates your sass, nodding with a knowing smirk. 
Indeed, you were greatly entertained. But not by the singing onstage. Sitting in the Bridgerton family box, a rigid cock in each hand as you teased them mercilessly, the angle of the seating allowing you the privacy to do so unseen by other patrons. Never letting either of them climax, taking them somewhere close then backing off, each huffing quietly, a white knuckle grip on their chair arms, as your fingers were coated with pre-cum. Most entertaining indeed. At one point, Anthony had hissed how he would have you on your knees and down your throat if you prolonged the torture much longer, but you knew it to be an empty (and entirely welcomed) threat. Now, in the privacy of the carriage, you rather suspect you are about to be taught a lesson for that cheeky behaviour.
“I do believe it is time for payback, brother,” Anthony opines, voicing your exact suspicions, them exchanging their trademark glance—so much communication with no words.
“Yes, I rather suspect a lesson is in order: that which you do unto others, you should expect done unto you,” Benedict forebodes.
Your stomach ripples as he grabs your ankle and roughly pushes it out wide, a hand travelling up your leg, gathering your dress around his forearm as he does. Soon, they discover the secret you held this evening: that you wear no chemise, no stockings, no undergarments at all, in fact—just your blue silk dress and ballet-style shoes.
“You filthy little vixen,” Anthony growls as he sees a flash between your legs.
“Do not pretend this type of indecency is not exactly what you want from her, brother,” Benedict counters dryly as his hand trails up your inner thigh, your breath quickening as he reaches your apex. You cry out, staring Anthony down as Benedict's fingers plunge into your pussy, burrowing deep, leaning his head into yours. “Always so hot, wet and wanting, are you not?” he rumbles into your hair as his fingers start to rock.
“Yes sir,” you know better than to ignore a question that is asked of you. “Only for you and my lord,” you add, knowing they always want to hear it.
“That is right,” Anthony preens, fighting with the buttons of his trousers and taking his sizable cock in hand, watching you moan and squirm on Benedict's invading digits, dripping down onto his palm, the sounds he draws from your body already obscene. You have been soaked since teasing them at the recital.
“I bet even the driver can hear this tight little cunt. Our filthy beautiful girl just drenching herself like the bitch in heat she is…” Benedict remarks casually.
You love it when they call you such taboo names in play, an illicit thrill running down your spine as he smiles predatorily and curls his fingers, hooking against your pussy wall, making you gasp. It's not quite enough pressure. Your head swings to look at him, silently requesting more.
He chuckles. “What did I tell you earlier?” 
“Teasing?” 
He nods as you pout, sliding his lips right to your ear, his breath hot there. “Until you are a mindless and trembling creature who will do whatever we tell you to.” 
You bite your lip and exhale raggedly, your belly constricting at the thought and at the sight of Anthony lazily pumping his cock, wanting to ride it so much your fingers flex upon the velour bench seat, rocking your pelvis with each stroke Benedict takes, hoping to catch a dash of friction upon your engorged clit. He tuts admonishingly when he senses what you are trying to do, curling his free hand around your inner thigh and spanking there. A stinging slap that makes you jump and mewl.
“Stop trying to come so hastily, darling girl. We decide if and when that will ever happen…” Anthony calls out from across the carriage, grabbing your leg and pulling it high and wide. He yanks off your shoe and bites your instep, not hard, but enough to make your whole body jerk, so you slide deeper onto his brother's fingers, moaning and throwing your head back, the rocking motion of the carriage somehow making it a worse tease.
“‘Tis not a long ride to either of your lodgings… surely you cannot tease me forever,” you speculate, spiralling slowly under such expert ministrations, an itch in your brain that needs to be scratched, even your teeth feel on edge.
“Oh, my girl, we are not headed to either place. Oh no. We are headed to our country retreat. The ride will take the rest of the night,” Anthony crows. “Our family will be remaining in London. So it will just be the three of us… with hundreds of acres to ourselves,” he grins devilishly, still slowly pumping his cock as he speaks.
“But…” you splutter, “I have nothing with me! No dresses, no shoes...” fretting mildly even as your stomach quivers with the thought of time spent alone with your boys.
“Oh, you sweet thing,” Benedict chuckles in your hair,  rotating his fingers so they drag over that sensitive spot that makes you shudder. “As if we are going to let you wear anything except our jewels. You shall be naked for days.”
“If you truly object, say your word now,” Anthony states clearly.  “And we shall drop you at your home.”
Benedict pauses his motions, awaiting your answer, both always respectful of your full consent. You look at them in turn, then merely shake your head fractionally, basking in their wolfish smiles. Wanting to do this with them—a new illicit adventure. The idea of days alone with both of them in a luxury country idyll is so beguiling. And a definite step forward in your dynamic as a throuple.
“Well, then, might as well tear off this dress right now; start as we mean to go on, right brother?” Benedict breezes as he withdraws his fingers from you, making you whine at the loss. But then he trails them across your decolletage, dipping his head to suckle your juices from your skin, his teeth sinking lightly into the swell of your breast, making you groan loudly and push up into his mouth.
“Agreed,” Anthony practically growls, pushing his trousers further down, cupping his balls now with his other hand.
“But my lord,” you stumble, tearing your eyes reluctantly from that tempting sight up to his face. “I need my dress to alight from this carriage when we arrive. Surely your staff should not see me naked?!" Your dissent is light, core pulsing at the mental image of them parading you naked up the front steps of a grand country house for all the gathered staff to greet your debauched arrival.
“Please,” Anthony withers, “what is a touch of nudity when they will likely find us fucking you in every way and place possible? Our darling little plaything, always so keen, are you not?” 
“Yes, my lord, Always.” 
Your whisper is obedient, watching him squeeze his cock more forcefully in his fist, his gaze locked between your splayed legs as Benedict yanks down your neckline roughly. The sound of fabric tearing fills the carriage, then their approving grunts as they realise you are without stays. 
“Get her naked, brother,” Anthony orders brusquely.
He sets about the task with enthusiasm, your dress ripping along the seams as he deploys both large hands and tears the fine silk asunder. It is one Anthony had paid for, so you do not mourn its loss, you rather suspect he will replace it with one identical in short order.
“If I am always to be naked, then will you warm my body when I am cold, sir?” You coquette, batting your eyelashes, playing up the damsel in distress to Benedict as he pushes aside the remaining fabric from around your front.
“Always sweet girl,” Benedict promises duskily, trailing his palm down your flushed skin, pulling you in for a kiss that is all tongues and heat. It has you canting your now naked body into his, desperate for his fingers, or even better, his cock, to be inside you.
As if sensing your need, Anthony intervenes as your lips break apart, perhaps jealous at the amount of time his brother has had with you. 
“Alright, enough of that. I think you are plenty prepared now. Come, my girl,” Anthony pats his thigh invitingly, “come sit on my cock.”
You make a victorious noise and slide out from around Benedict, Anthony grabbing your waist and spinning you around to face away from him. 
“Hello, my darling girl,” Anthony greets, his tone like velvet, pulling you snugly against his frame, the brocade of his waistcoat tickling your spine.
Your responding greeting turns into a cry as he guides you down onto his cock, splitting you open in that way it always does, a stretch that is just the right side of discomfort, that heavy weight pressing far inside that you yearn for.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, grabbing your jaw and pulling you back into a plundering kiss, making you pliant in his arms.
“Fuck me, my lord,” you beseech when you realise he is holding your hips down with a slight force, preventing any movement.
“But we have hours,” he drawls unhurriedly, “how about you sit still and just enjoy the ride, hmmm?”
You mewl in protest; as much as the carriage ride is indeed a pleasant rocking motion, your clit is throbbing, needing friction, craving release. You attempt to coax him by squeezing his cock so he groans throatily.
“Stop that. If you defy me, I will never let you come.”
He forcefully grabs your knees and drapes your thighs on either side of his woollen trousers that are bunched around his hips, then splays his legs wide. There’s a burning stretch on your inner thighs as he now holds you obscenely open. You are powerless to do anything but sit obediently upon his cock, whining slightly as the need claws at the edges of your mind.
Across from you, Benedict watches, seemingly transfixed by the sight of you naked and pinned open, speared on Anthony's cock, whimpering as your attempts to move are quelled by those firm hands clamped on your hips. You watch as he unbuttons and takes himself in hand, just as Anthony had, his eyes hungrily raking over your body. It makes you want to climb into his lap and fuck him over and over. 
“Will you fuck me, sir?” You lobby, hoping it will get a rise out of Anthony, that it will catalyse him into taking you hard, possessively.
“You know I will, sweet girl,” Benedict responds huskily. “But as my brother says, we have hours, and you will learn your lesson today…”
“I promise I have learned my lesson not to tease either of you,” you implore sincerely, hopeful for absolution, but both of them merely huff a laugh, suspecting it a hollow pledge. 
You pout again but relent, leaning back into Anthony, accepting your fate. His lips graze your temple as you rest your head on his shoulder and try to get comfortable. Try to ignore the pulse in your engorged clit with every heartbeat. Try to ignore the press of his frenulum inside, a pressure you feel compelled to rub against. Try to ignore that tingle in your nipples where they pucker hard, desperate for a tongue or some rough fingers.
And that is how you stay for what feels like an eternity. Just the noises of movement and horses upon what is now a dirty track, bright moonlight seeping through the cracks in the curtains as you sit in silent submission, The rocking of the carriage meaning you must occasionally endure the jolts of his cock against your hilt, making your breath catch. Your eyes alternate between fluttering closed and opening to see Benedict idly grasping his cock, but it's too tempting a sight, so you swallow hard and close them again. 
However, with your eyes closed, you see worse images dancing before you, taunting you. Flashes of them both lathing their tongues all over your skin, of you on your knees between them, a cock in your mouth and one pounding into your pussy, a loop of carnal push and pull. It makes you leak more, a trickle leaving your body and pooling at the base of Anthony’s cock, nestling in his hair there.
“I can feel how aroused you are,” Anthony purrs into your hairline, almost startling you after many minutes of quiet. “How it is taking every fibre in your being not to defy me. Let’s see how good you can really be for me. Remember, you may not move.”
That’s all the warning you get before his warm, lightly quill-calloused fingers slide over your clit, rubbing an agonisingly light, slow circle. Not enough to do anything but make you shudder and pant, needing more, tiny sparks igniting through your heavy pelvis. Fighting so hard to keep your hips still, wanting more than anything to buck up, bear down onto the hook of his fingers, frottage yourself until you come clenching around his cock so steely and hot inside you.
“Please, my lord,” you grit out, turning to bury your nose into him, huffing his spicy amber cologne, lips brushing the rasp of stubble on his strong jaw.
“I could listen to you beg all night,” Anthony confesses and there’s an edge to his voice that is dark, dangerous, unyielding. 
You lament when his fingers disappear, but he rolls his hips with the motion of the carriage, his cock sliding just a fraction deeper, making you cry out, the change of angle promising so much. Your hand flies out for purchase upon something solid but instead seizes the carriage curtain, unintentionally pulling it back so the glass is revealed.
“Oh, excellent idea!” Anthony lauds. “Yes, show yourself to the world, darling girl; show what a wanton thing you are for us.”
By now, though, the busy streets of Mayfair are long behind you. You are out in the darkness past Blackheath, moving fast down the Dover road to rural Kent. If there are any prying eyes, they will only catch a glimpse of you utterly naked, seated upon a clothed Viscount.
“Open the rest, brother,” Anthony clips.
Your eyes ping to Benedict as he releases his cock and pulls open the draped fabric on either side, hooking it back so the inky blackness of night is all around you.
“Imagine being seen, my girl,” Anthony baits. “There could be a highwayman right now lurking among those trees.”
Benedict leans forward, his hand suddenly clasping the jewelled necklace draped around your throat, the one Anthony presented you with just last week. His motion pulls you upright away from Anthony, the tilt of his cock inside you catching your breath.
“They may want this darling girl,” Benedict joins in. “Will you give it to them? Or will you offer something else instead in order to keep it? A more precious jewel perhaps….” He releases your necklace and trails that hand down between your breasts, over your belly, spidering lower until he grazes your clit. “Will you allow him this? Your greatest treasure?”
You moan loudly at his expert touch, a stroke of his middle finger under the hood of your clit making your whole body quake.
“N-no sir, I would not,” you stumble. “That belongs to my lord and to you.”
“Oh, good answer,” he winks, eyes twinkling in the moonlight streaming in as his now wettened finger traces back up over your belly. “But what if that is what we wish? To watch you be fucked by a stranger? A thief in a mask? Would you then?”
“I would do whatever you and my lord want, sir,” you pledge truthfully, then inhale sharply as he grabs the back of your neck and moves in close, his lips ghosting yours as he speaks again, teasing you with an almost kiss.
“I could watch you be fucked by a dozen men and enjoy every single one. I do so love the way your eyes roll when you are being taken rough. How you always, always plead for more, greedy little one that you are.” 
Your eyes flit down to see his other fist speeding up around his cock. It makes you clench around Anthony, who groans hard, the air in the carriage somehow notching hotter, tighter, like it’s a fight to breathe.
“Sir,” you murmur on his lips, “Please help me; I am in such need.”
You feel as much as see that crooked, laconic smile claims his face, his cock still in hand. “What do you want from me, darling girl? Be specific, maybe I will do it…” 
“Suck my nipples,” you request boldly at his enticement as he tilts back to watch you speak. “Maybe bite them a touch? Use your wonderful fingers upon my pearl; you can surely see it is so swollen...”
You know such explicit language will work for him, and sure enough, his nostrils flare as you ask for precisely what you need, his tongue flicking out to trace around his lips.
“Brother, will you allow it?” Benedict checks, his gaze flitting briefly to the man you sit upon.
“I will,” Anthony concedes, “on one condition: do not let her come, not yet.” He grabs a fistful of your hair, making you inhale sharply, jerking you back against his body, trailing his nose over your cheek. “I do so need her desperate and crying pretty tears for me before I shall allow that.”
Benedict slides to his knees before you, between your splayed legs, and you tremble as his damp lips ghost over the valley between your breasts, nuzzling your skin, inhaling deeply, trailing the point of his nose left to your nipple. You moan loudly as he suckles you into his hot mouth, lips pursed around your puckered teet. Then he glances the edge of his front teeth over your skin, causing a shudder down your spine. His hand cups your other breast, fondling your nipple with swipes of his thumbpad, teasing, while his teeth clamp down and tug away—a beeline to your core. 
You mutter a curse and thrash your head a little, settling on pressing your nose into Anthony’s neck and whimpering lightly, so much sensation coursing through you, his cock is still rigid and unrelenting inside you. Muttering as Benedict keeps feasting upon your breasts, biting, suckling, fondling, not allowing you one moment without the tormenting thrill, a quake in your thighs, an odd tingle in your arms, a pressure behind your belly that is a ball of need, wound tight like a spring.
“Sweet, sweet girl,” Anthony sighs, wrapping an arm around your head, his bicep bulging against your face through his jacket. “Now you have some sense of how we felt earlier tonight…”
At that, Benedict slides his thumb over your clit, flicking in a sideways motion that has you screaming into Anthony’s skin, clawing your hands into both of their hair, grasping their scalps and making them both growl.
“My lord, sir, please….” 
It's a broken, pitiful sound, teetering as you are, reality a blur, a buzz in your brain that is febrile. A tear of frustration prickles your eye at the prolonged agony of denied ecstasy. Just as you are incapable of defying them anymore and have to break, Benedict pauses, pulls back, and watches with that killer smile as you protest even louder, breasts wet with his saliva, goosebumps covering your entire body.
“She is so beautiful like this, brother,” Benedict groans, grabbing himself again and squeezing a few times as if staving off his own orgasm. “You should see it from here….” he adds as he falls back upon the opposite bench.
“I want to,” Anthony confesses, kissing your temple. “I want to see what you look like, my girl, struggling like this; I wish this damn carriage had a mirror….”
“There is one way….” Benedict shrugs, probably aiming for nonchalant but missing entirely. “She may do the same to me?”
“Do you want that, my girl? To sit upon my brother as well?”
“Yes, my lord,” you confess, always eager to gratify them both. “Will I be allowed to come if I do?”
He chuckles into your skin. “Not yet. But if you are good for him too, maybe then.”
Hope flares as Anthony closes his legs and hoists you up and off his cock, you emitting a slight lament at the loss of him as he helps you to turn around and guides you onto Benedict’s lap. Before you know it, you are once again invaded intimately, the stretch different in ways you can’t fully articulate but just as wonderful. Sliding deep, Benedict’s responding moan is hot in your ear as you settle upon him. He hooks your legs over his in the same manner Anthony did, pushing his knees wide open, perhaps even more so, and you hiss at the tugging sensation in your tendons.
“See, brother?” Benedict crows. “Look how spectacular she is…” the words are nuzzled into your temple as he drops a sighing kiss there.
“‘Tis quite the sight…” Anthony agrees lowly as he starts to unwind his cravat while sitting back to admire you. “But I feel she may need those rebellious hands restrained….”
Your belly roils as Anthony grabs your wrists, jerking them forward and binding them with the soft white silk, looping the fabrics many times before tying a tight bow that is unyielding. He doesn’t even ask for your colour, knowing such things are always a green light. What’s new is he guides your bound hands up high, then backwards, curling them behind Benedict’s head with an amused arched eyebrow.
“Don’t you dare move those arms until I say so,” Anthony warns, and all you can do is nod and bite your lip.
“Oh, excellent idea,” Benedict rhapsodises, staring fervently down the plane of your body draped naked over him.
It’s all at once similar and yet different to moments ago with Anthony: the stretch of a cock impaling you, the ache in your thighs forced so wide open, but now with the pulse in your wrists with your hands bound behind Benedict’s strong neck, your fingernails sinking into the plush ruched fabric on the wall behind.
“Watch me, my girl,” Anthony commands.
Drowsy and shaky with unmet needs, you observe as he touches himself again, his proud cock still glistening with your juices as it passes through his fist, tempting, teasing you. Attempting relief by undulating upon Benedict, but balance is more difficult now your hands are bound, instead resorting to supplicant pleas, hoping his empathetic nature will win out.
“Not yet,” he soothes through gritted teeth, but you can sense his quandary, wanting so much to rut into you, his hands flexing upon the dip of your waist. 
“You believe I have learned my lesson, do you not, sir?” Your soft appeal is blatant manipulation, reluctantly looking away from Anthony to twist sideways and stare beseechingly into his hazy blue eyes, finding a storm of desire there. Your lips tingle for his kiss as he goes to answer but is interrupted.
“Stop trying to cheat my girl,” Anthony counsels tersely. While he has welcomed Benedict into your dynamic, sometimes residual jealousy rears when you appear to have a moment of connection with his brother, wanting to gain control—the upper hand.
“You heard him. So, are you going to be a very good girl for me?” 
Benedict’s voice is a resonant vibration through your back, his frilly shirt tickling your spine. You would do anything for him when he asks like that. Your resounding nod is rewarded with a kiss, and his long fingers snagging around your nipples, your pussy clenching reflexively upon him as his tongue rolls over yours. It makes him stutter a growl into your mouth, which tastes like sin laced with smoky whiskey. 
And so you do as asked—sitting meekly, submissively, that heavy distracting weight inside you keening quietly, throbbing between your legs as Benedict tweaks your nipples almost lazily between his paintbrush-calloused fingers, his lips on your neck, sucking gently, a sensation that is all soft, wet heat. Your hooded gaze is glued to Anthony idly stroking himself, only a fraction of movement designed to keep himself aroused, no doubt. 
Minutes tick by, so you lean back into Benedict’s body as his touch softens, allowing your breathing to syncopate to his, his chest rising and falling against your back. Despite your thrumming arousal, the effect is soporific, and you find yourself growing so sleepy, eyelids too heavy…
…“Wake up, sweet girl,” Benedict’s bemused voice rings in your ear.
You startle, having no concept of how much time has passed. You are impressed when you realise he is still rock-hard inside you, your legs closer together now.
“For how long was I asleep?” You query, stifling a light yawn. A warmth blooms behind your ribs when you realise that, at some point, they unhooked your arms from behind Benedict's head, your hands resting in your lap, still bound in Anthony’s cravat.
“About a quarter hour,” Anthony chuckles. “You looked so peaceful, but we decided to rouse you to deliver the good news. We believe that you have indeed learned your lesson, sweet girl….”
“Yes, my lord, I have!” You enthuse, suddenly awake again, feeling an instant quickened throb in your clit, hoping it means they will finally take pity on you, fuck you, let you come.
“Then it is time for your reward…” 
Anthony’s tone is both benevolent and filthy as he flicks open a small vial that he must have retrieved from somewhere while you were sleeping. He shuffles his trousers down his legs a little further, the smell of olives and clove swirling in the air as he pours the oily substance onto his cock. 
“What is my reward, my lord?” You ask as your stomach clenches. 
But you already know. There is only one reason he does this. It’s when he wants to claim your bottom, not your pussy.
“You get both of us inside you at once, darling,” he answers with a dangerous smile, and Benedict groans as again, on instinct, you clench around him in excitement.
“She likes that idea, brother,” Benedict offers sardonically from behind you.
“Use your cravat, sir, blindfold me,” you petition, twisting your head to look at him, wanting to feel as much as see tonight.
“By god, I adore you,” Benedict gruffs, his voice laden with admiration and arousal as he dives in for a quick kiss. 
Then you feel him fighting off the teal silk behind you, unwinding it rapidly before settling it gently over your face, the gossamer soft fibres still warm from his neck, scented lightly of him. He ties a bow behind your head and then drops a kiss on your shoulder. Then two sets of hands assist you up off of Benedict's cock. You revel in their touch as they gently spin you and guide you backwards onto Anthony’s now bare lap, his trousers around his knees.
As the carriage rocks gently, two oiled fingers slide between your cheeks, and Anthony whispers sweetly as he swirls a finger around your bottom, extolling soft praises as he always does when he takes you here, preparing you for him. 
When you murmur that you are ready, you exhale shakily as you feel that intense blunt pressure, now more familiar to you, as he breaches your tight hole, your body stretching to accommodate his oiled cock, slowly sinking into his lap as you take slow, relaxing breaths. 
“Exquisite,” he stutters, his hands moving to hold your waist tightly, guiding you the last few inches until you are seated to his root—the utter fill like a sense memory. After a few moments of allowing you to adjust, Anthony changes his stance, pulling your legs open wider and shifting inside in a way that feels pleasurable and makes your hands flex in your binding.
“You like that, do you not?” you can hear the smirk in Benedict’s voice even if you can't see it, feeling his intense gaze upon your body as you raise your head to the sound of his voice and nod.
“Hands above your head, my girl,” Anthony instructs, and instantly, your hands shoot up, the silk binding on your wrists flexing as Benedict grabs your arms and hooks them behind Anthony’s head, his heat looming over you as he does so.
“Good, now are you ready for me too?” he checks, and you just know he has an arched brow, that menacing look; you can hear the pump of his cock in his fist, saliva gathering in your mouth at the very thought.
“Yes, sir.” 
“You do not want gentle tonight, do you?” Benedict intuits, likely seeing the hunger writ large across your blindfolded face as he kneels on a little footrest; you can feel his hips at the perfect height, the edge of his cropped jacket snagging the soft skin of your inner thigh.
“No, sir.” 
“So very different to the first time we did this,” Anthony remarks knowingly in your ear, invoking the memory of that landmark night in your burgeoning dynamic—the night you truly became a throuple.
It makes you almost wistful even in this carnal moment, that now familiar press of both their bodies, of being sandwiched between them as Benedict leans in. Although tonight, it is not warm skin upon yours, but the slight scratch of wool, the tickle of silk as they remain clothed. 
“Perhaps we indulge you too much, with both of us at once…” Anthony chuckles.
“No! Let me have both..” you twist back to implore him, even though you cannot see. “I need you both so much, my lord, sir, I am aching…”
“Well, I cannot deny such a pretty appeal as that, brother,” Benedict avows, and that is all the warning you get before he guides himself into you. 
You groan loudly as his tip nudges into your pussy, the stretch of two cocks always making your eyes roll, your toes scrunch hard. Anthony’s hands grasp your thighs, holding you open as Benedict slides deeper inside, their breath uneven, knowing they can likely feel the pressure of each other as much as you can. A curse slips from your lips as they both finally rest entirely within you.
“Darling girl, you always take us so well,” Benedict’s voice lauds, dark and decadent, “so magnificent.”
Your eyelids flutter hard against his cravat, bound and blindfolded, split open upon two cocks… you can think of nowhere else you would rather be.
“Please fuck me…” you entreat, feeling as if you have been pleading for hours with them, your mind scratchy, clawing, like a wild beast clambering up the sides of the carriage, wailing to be sated.
You almost howl as finally, finally, they take pity upon you. Benedict withdraws and then thrusts back into you, aided by the rocking motion as the carriage hurtles through past the fields of Kent, the journey seeming to speed up, mirroring the fevered atmosphere within.
Blindly, you seek a kiss from them both, swivelling to Anthony, then Benedict. Desperate, hot, open mouths meet as you start to set a rhythm together, the friction and fullness radiating pulses of pleasure outwards from where you are joined.
You love it when you are caged between them like this, pinned, hands tied, unable to see. Unable to do anything, indeed, but submit to their whims, entrusting your body and gratification utterly to them, to lay back and take it. Take the endless surges of pleasure, the push and pull, the drag of them both inside you as they change tempo, catching you unawares and making you moan and babble. The noises they wrench from your body are drowned out by the thrum of wheels upon dirt, by the thundering of hooves before you, all of you chasing destinations, literal and ephemeral. Windows fogging with panted breaths, the carriage air almost cloying, all three of you moaning unfettered as pleasure mounts.
“Do you think the coachmen above can hear us?” you gasp out, eyes rolling at the overwhelming sensations of both moving within you, their hips snapping roughly.
“Do you honestly care?” Anthony challenges, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he rolls under you.
“She wants them to watch, most likely,” Benedict pants, his hands a vice-like grip on your waist as he fucks into you.
When you do not respond they both huff a laugh.
“Your silence says so much,” Anthony remarks and suddenly, your hair is in his fist, the force making your back arch, sliding both of their cocks deeper, your moan unbridled. “Whose good little whore are you?” he demands hotly, a glance of his teeth upon your jaw.
“Yours,” you rasp, eyes fluttering against your blindfold, head tilted to the carriage ceiling, feeling the burn on your scalp, your nipples pebbled hard against the rough rasp of Benedict's jacket lapel.
“Then repeat it,” Benedict bites out, his mouth sucking harshly upon your shoulder, leaving his mark, a darkened patch you know he will have you look at in the mirror in the coming days.
“I’m your good little whore,” you echo breathily, for them both, the degrading words ratcheting you higher.
They both groan at your utterance, their hands becoming a more urgent hold. Fingertips grazing and tweaking your nipples, you know not whose. Teetering so close, you beg. Beg them to go faster, to touch your clit, to hold you down, be rough, do anything to make this fever upon your skin, buzzing in your mind, break over you, release you from this prolonged heightened state, leaking profusely around their cocks, slack-jawed, strung out with need.
When a hand worms between your bodies, snagging against your clit, you convulse around them, both groaning at the restriction, curse words falling from them in harsh pants as finally you reach the peak you have been seeking forever. One flick of a thumb, and you are gone.
The intensity of your orgasm is breathtaking: transported and hurtled into the skies far above, your whole pelvis contracting and rippling around both of them as they cry out as your vice-like grip. Static buzzing in your skull as they seem to sandwich into you even harder, your lungs gasping for air as your body feels rearranged, your mind floating on a sea of bliss as their movements become harsher, more desperate, you pulling them over the edge with you. Benedict withdraws suddenly, a warmth splashing upon your lower belly as Anthony growls hard under you, feeling the ripple of his cock as he releases inside your bottom.
For a few moments, it’s just panted breaths, all slumped together in a damp pile. Exchanging sated smiles as they tenderly unwrap the cravat from around your eyes and wrists, delicately kissing your skin as you rearrange. Playtime over, back to yourselves, a shared affection between that is undeniable now.
“How much longer until we reach your country home?” you ask as you curl up into their joint embrace, hands caressing your skin in soothing swirling patterns, a languorous pull in your bones now that you are finally satiated. A flickering glow behind your ribs at the idea this is just the start of something new with your boys.
“I have absolutely no clue, my darling,” Anthony confesses with a carefree bubble of laughter, “and I do not particularly care as long as you are in our arms, right brother?” he adds, tilting his head leisurely towards Benedict.
“Absolutely,” Benedict concurs, “If only all carriage rides were this stimulating…” he jests wistfully.
“They could be… if you always take me with you,” you breeze, giving him a chaste kiss.
“We shall never travel again without you,” Anthony attests over a stifled yawn, his stubble abrading your collarbone as he burrows his head into your neck and sighs contentedly.
And that is how you all finally rest, a tangled pile of limbs, your naked body warmed by their tight hold as the carriage whisks you through the countryside under a blanket of stars. 
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Taglist pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @amanda08319 @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @vane28282 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @kisskissshutmydoor @y0ur-favgerman @sya-skies
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sunnyjeon · 12 days ago
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Jagiya?
(Wonwoo Imagines) A drabble, fluff!
Inspired by the video below and my alarm-Wonwoo's Jagiyaa, during a concert! This is so random, sorry I miss Wonwoo a lot. Thank you for all the love on my recent drabble! I hope you like this, Wonwoorideuls. Fighting! ⋆˚ 𝜗🐈‍⬛𝜚˚⋆
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Wonwoo accidentally discloses your relationship during a game on set. Everyone is left in stunned silence before bursting into laughter and teasing him relentlessly. Embarrassed but taking it in pride, Wonwoo’s slip-up leads to some fun moments and a lot of ice cream.
“Park Bo Gum!” Hurriedly, Seungcheol answers.
The group erupts in celebration. This was not new to them– a game where you had to name the picture within three seconds after being presented by the host. What’s new is that more than half of the team are somehow getting worse at this no matter how many times they play. And for some reason, the box of free ice cream makes them act like it's a prize worth a million dollars.
Feeling pressured, Wonwoo’s heart beats rapidly. The tension in the air thickens and the members hold hands in anticipation. If they continue to get the last few right, it’s a win. There’s still a few more cards left to identify and he prays it won’t be enough to reach him. 
Dino got it barely on time. But he still got it, nonetheless. Seungkwan went next and as expected, he got it right. Mingyu stood tall beside him with arms crossed as he answered confidently. The group goes into chaos as the staff reveals that they’re left with the last card– Wonwoo’s card. 
The members circle around him. Jun and Minghao thank the heavens that it didn’t land on them. Dino laughs at this sight. 
Vernon pats Mingyu’s back congratulating him. Jeonghan soothes Wonwoo’s arm as Seungcheol massages his shoulders like he’s preparing for a fight. 
DK holds Wonwoo’s collar as he shakes him, “Hyung, jebal. My mouth is watering.” 
“Hyung, you got this.” Seungkwan emerges beside him. “Let’s get it!” Joshua adds.
“Yaa~ Wonwoo let’s gooo!” A tiger roars, hugging an annoyed Woozi. 
The staff motioned them to get ready. Getting dizzy because of the tension (and from DK’s shaking) he closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. The group clings to Wonwoo, both of his arms being held by the members. He gulps and nods as the staff picks the million dollar picture. 
They take the card, showing it to the group of producers who are nodding and giggling for some reason. His manager peeks a glance and shakes his head. This sends him sweating. Is it someone he doesn’t know? An international artist? Are they going to lose because of him? 
He grits his jaw, nostrils flared, ready to give it his all. He’s going to try, he’ll get it. He just has to focus. His zeroes out, head empty, ears ringing, eyes glued on the card as it’s being passed on. It reaches to the host, it turns. And the card reveals— you? 
Meaning to say your name, he shouts the first thing that comes to mind. 
“JAGIYAAA!!!” 
Silence. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.
The host– who was about to start counting, closes his mouth, aghast. Like everyone in the room, they all stood rigid. Surprised? Confused? Amazed? Astonished? The air conditioning rings louder than their breaths.
But Wonwoo? He’s ecstatic. His arms break free from his members’ hold as he fists the air in victory. His smile is bright and wide as the picture stares back at him– it’s you at a recent award show. He knows, because he was there. He clapped and cheered for you when your name was announced, he shed a tear with you as you gave your speech, he gave you an “I told you so,” at the after party because he knows. He knows you, more than anyone in this room does. 
His hopeful expression falters as the silence stretches on, his mind catching up with the confusion in the room. Seungkwan was the first to speak, through gritted teeth he asked “Jagiya?”. 
Wonwoo’s eyes widened. Pabo! he thinks. “Y/L/N! Y/L/N! Y/L/N! ” He screams your name on repeat, hands clasped as he pleads for consideration. Technically, they haven’t done the count down and he did correct it within three (it was five) seconds. So they didn’t lose, right? 
A bewildered Mingyu pouts. “Hyung, how did I not know! I feel betrayed!” Wonwoo looks at him, head turning–  confused. He didn’t know you? Impossible! You did a challenge together! 
Vernon interrupts in amazement, “Jagiya? Wow, Michyeosseo.” 
Wonwoo’s face flushes bright red as the realization hits him. “Oh.” He hasn’t told them about you yet. Jagiya? He must be out of his mind! On camera too! He covers his face in embarrassment, face burning hotter the more he thinks about you. He he holds his breath, feeling all the butterflies weaken his knees, he dramatically pretends to pass out. 
His reaction sends the room erupting into claps, whistles, and laughter. The teasing is going to be relentless. But at least they know now. The hard part is over. He shuts his eyes, resigning to his fate. Still lying on the floor, he slowly uncovers his face, his cheeks still flushed bright red. 
He looks up at the camera, a sheepish smirk drawn on his face. "We still get the ice cream, right?” He winks. 
They absolutely lost it that day. 
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comatosebunny09 · 4 months ago
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merry christmas, mr. sylus [ aftermath ]
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— summary: maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought. — cw: fluff, romance, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, reader is not mc, ceo au, modern au, aged-up characters (sylus is in his mid-30s), mutual pining — notes: a happy ending for the holidays. happy holidays, all! [ part 1 | part 2 ] — now playing: some days - stella jang
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It’s been nearly a week since you kissed your boss that fateful night.
Well, more like since he kissed you. 
And it’s strange because even though he was the one to initiate it, he’s been avoiding you like a sickness. His curt good mornings have felt glacial, where they were once warm enough to light the torch of your day. Your daily briefs have felt rigid, and the car rides together have made you want to tuck and roll out the door. Worst off, he hasn’t maintained consistent eye contact with you since Christmas Eve, his gaze often fleeting away, studying the floor or the blurred space over your shoulder.
It really pisses you off. It’s bad enough that the night replays in your mind like a warped record, bringing with it warring feelings of relief and hurt. Relief because, maybe, he didn’t push you away as much as you initially thought. Hurt because the look on his face when he booked it to the elevator, leaving you to nurse bittersweet emotions and a broken smile, is permanently ingrained in your memory. 
The pain overshadows all because he won’t even look at you now. 
Were your lips chapped? Is it because you didn’t know what to do with your hands? Did you smell offensive? Were you just shit at kissing? Said thoughts hover in your mind like a nebulous cloud stretched across the galaxy, even as you sift through documents and folders, trying your best to distract yourself. 
Mr. Sylus is tucked safe in his office behind you. Over the past few days, he’s made a point to arrive earlier than you—which is alarming considering you’re usually the night heron, showing up to fix his coffee, line up his daily schedule, and greet him with an unbridled smile. 
You slam the folder you were working with shut, garnering a few perturbed looks from the staff scuttling about on the tenth floor. Sighing, you pitch yourself back in your chair, a pout inhabiting your features. If he wants to be childish about it, sure. But you’ve rarely been one to let sleeping dogs lie, and the awkwardness between you affects your at-home life as well. 
Your gaze flits to the lower drawer of your desk. You scrutinize the lacquered cherry wood, contemplating barging into your boss’ office and giving him your makeup present. You figured maybe, just maybe, he was partially upset because he’d been expecting something more practical for Christmas. And perhaps that’s why he rushed out that night, all stone-faced and covering his lips with spindly fingers. 
You still remember their taste—their feel. Your lips still tingle, and your face bleeds bashfulness whenever you recollect. They were slightly chapped but warm as they moved against yours. And, through the union, it felt like he poured something molten into the chasm of your belly. Something that set your heart rate into overdrive, the gears in your head whirring until steam billowed from your ears.
A swift hand covers where your heart thrums, and you shake your head to dispel your memories. Was kissing him really worth it if it meant your working relationship would suffer? Obviously not if you’re mulling over it so hard. But with determination bleeding over your countenance, you bend to throw open your bottom drawer. An oblong, matte black box peers back at you from within, intricately dressed with a scarlet bow. Scarlet, like the irises burned into your memory, looking at you with utter mortification.
Banishing your thoughts, you snatch the present from inside. Kick your drawer shut, standing so quickly that the front wheels of your chair bounce against the floor. You turn towards the heavy oakwood door of his office, the embossed letters of his name challenging you, and you steel your resolve.
But fate has been the most fickle bitch as of late, intervening when she sees fit, burning your efforts to mere soot.
A familiar, mellifluous voice calls you from behind. And just your luck, it would be her. You swivel, greeting Ms. Hunter with all the rehearsed ease of someone in your field. 
She’s all bright-eyed and youthful with a thousand-watt smile. Gorgeous despite being in uniform, her hair windswept and cheeks mottled pink. A part of you would love to hate her, but you’ve truly no reason to. She’s never disrespected you, never called you out of your name. She’s been sickeningly cordial since you met her.
“Hey! Sylus in?” she asks, and your heart plummets into your stomach. Why else would she be here?
You nod rigidly, dropping back into your seat with the finesse of a bowling ball. And you take up the handset of your desk phone, dreading the familiar drawl of a particular voice on the other end. 
“Speak,” he answers, the curl of his voice making your stomach do somersaults. Despite its flatness, this is perhaps the most emotion you’ve heard from him in the last few days.
“Ms. Hunter is here to see you, sir.”
A part of you hopes he turns her away–tells you he doesn’t want to see anyone, even if it’s his darling lady friend. And you feel you might get your wish when he’s silent for a beat, the crinkly static being your only company. Instead of answering your prayers, he simply answers, “Let her in.”
Your stomach freefalls to your feet. Your mask of a smile twitches, your disappointment sluggishly leaking through the fissures. “Of course, sir.” And you hang up, standing once more to lead Ms. Hunter into the place you haven’t been allowed into for days yourself.  
She nods curtly, brushing past you, her hair wispy and the scent of stale Jasmine staining her clothes. When the door clicks shut behind her, you melt into your seat until your shoulders touch your ears, and you kick your excuse for a peace offering under the shadowy abyss of your desk. 
And to think you’d worked so hard to muster the courage to confront your boss, too.
It’s nearing lunch, and you’re shoving things into your bag as your stomach reminds you that you skipped breakfast. You sling your pack over your shoulder, pushing your chair under your desk, preparing to hit the cafe in the city’s heart for something quick. You barely make it two steps before you’re summoned for the second time, though there is no high and light voice curling around your name this time.
This one is low and even, velvet-smooth, furling in your chest like smoke, sticking to your lungs like ash. You whip your head around to meet a familiar sheen of white hair. 
He stands in his doorframe, a pensive look on his face, scarlet eyes smoldering with something you can’t quite place. Has his hands stuffed in his pockets, and he’s looking between you and your bag, wordlessly inquiring where you’re off to.
With a nervous laugh in your throat, you turn to face him fully. “Was just about to grab some lunch. You want anything, sir?”
He shakes his head, the barest cant to his lips. It’s gone before you’ve time to appreciate it.
You don’t know whether to laugh or scream as you fiddle with your fingers. At least he’s trying to approach you first, no matter how uncomfortable the exchange. You wonder if Ms. Hunter had something to do with this. Maybe he told her what happened six nights ago, and she gave him a pep talk to put him back into good spirits. But you know that’s just wishful thinking. In fact, she seemed uncharacteristically somber when she left his office earlier, barely acknowledging your goodbye. 
“Can I speak to you before you leave?” he asks, brows slightly furrowed, head tilted, lips set in a stiff line. 
Something cold drips through you. You grab the strap of your bag, grip white-knuckled, and the leather squeaks. Despite the dread turning your limbs to lead, you plaster on a smile and nod. He motions into his office, stepping aside to let you in. And you try to ignore how your heart threatens to leap from your rib cage because this is the part where he fires you, isn’t it?
Oh well. The job was good while it lasted—something to fatten up your résumé and harden your heart.
It’s warm inside his office. Of course, it always is. And you’ve missed this, not having been amid these softened, gray, accent molded walls all week. It smells of cracked cinnamon sticks and vanilla beans with something inherently Sylus snuck in between. The city stretches like a yawning beast against the horizon, peering through the ceiling-high windows behind his desk. 
Strangling the strap of your pack, you ease into a red, tufted armchair, your legs bouncing and your throat growing dry. You jolt when the door shuts and admonish yourself for being so jittery. If Mr. Sylus intends to fire you, you’ll face it head-on with a smile on your face. 
So you muster one as he moves to inhabit the space mere inches away from you, leaning against the edge of his heavy, cherry wood desk, arms crossing over a broad chest. He’s as devastating a sight as ever, his blazer slung over the back of his rolling chair, his forearms bleeding from cuffed sleeves. And the sight of his veins, branching like a roadmap beneath his skin, still makes your tongue feel heavy in your mouth.
You’re going to miss this. 
He looks contemplative as you toy with your bag’s zipper. And your cheeks ache from smiling so hard. Wonder how long you’ll have to keep up this act before he drops a bomb on you. 
“How are you doing today?” he queries. And you blink rapidly, not expecting him to open the floor with small talk. Regardless, you’re grateful he’s offering you more than curt grunts, even if it’ll be the last time you hear them.
“Um…I’m doing alright, I guess.” 
Your stomach growls, disrupting the tension that brews between you. You rub your stomach placatingly, and Sylus snorts, perching virile hands on the edge of his desk, leaning back. He seems a little more open. A little lighter, and you find your lips twitching with a genuine smile this time.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to steal you away from your lunch break. I promise to be brief.”
You nod as a knot of nerves forms in your gut, warring with your hunger. Straightening your back, you cross your ankles, hands flattened in your lap. Here it comes—
“Do you…have any plans for New Year’s?”
You blink again, brows pinching. “Wh-wha?”
He sheepishly rubs the scruff of his neck, and you can’t recall a time you’ve ever seen him so at odds with himself. He reminds you of an adolescent, rallying the courage to ask out their crush. 
“A friend of mine owns a cabin up in the woods.” He looks at you, wetting his lips. You nod, cautiously encouraging him to continue. “He usually hosts this whole weekend extravaganza there every New Year’s. Bringing a plus one is a bit of an unspoken rule. I was wondering if you didn’t already have plans—”
You unconsciously lean forward, brows lifting. 
“—if you would like to accompany me?”
Well, that took a left turn. A hand placed over your heart, you laugh, the knot of your nerves slowly unraveling. So, does this mean your boss doesn’t hate you?
“I would love to!” you say with a little too much enthusiasm. And he smiles in turn, stuffing his hands in his pockets, chuckle infectious. 
The load of the air a little lighter, you exchange small talk, and it feels as if nothing’s changed between you. Like that fateful Christmas Eve night, you didn’t make an ass of yourself, and he didn’t regret kissing you.
Sylus walks you to the door, twin smiles donning your faces. You turn to him on your way out, awkwardly running into the hardened planes of his chest. He steadies you with tender fingers wrapped around your arms, and the gleam in his eyes siphons the air from your lungs. You find your gaze falling to his lips, his mirroring yours. And had there not been people still milling about, you would’ve kissed him.
“W-would you like to grab lunch together, sir?” you ask instead, caught up in the alluring stir of his eyes—the wispy dance of darkened lashes, the tremor of pink lips.
“Of course,” he answers, his warm breath fanning over your mouth. He sweeps some errant hair behind your ear, the glide of his knuckle against your cheek reminiscent of pill bugs rolling over your skin. 
You nod, pulling yourself from the spell the moment cast. And you lead the way, trying vainly to stifle the grin splitting your face in twain, Mr. Sylus a warm and homely presence at your back as the pair of you make your way to the elevator.  
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eeksburner · 1 month ago
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Oh, Baby
Husband!Simon Riley x PregnantWife!Reader
(Note: I'm going to be honest, I wasn't planning on posting here very much, but seeing all the likes and reposts I'm getting is boosting my ego and dopamine #ExFanficWriter)
Not proofread
Simon would be the best Dad. After everything with his father and the rest of his family being killed, he would be extremely hesitant to start a family of his own. It took a lot for him to open up to you and get married, so when you told him your dreams of having a sweet baby with him, his heart dropped. Simon holds a lot of love in his heart and he, too, had his fantasies of being the best daddy to a little babe, but he never thought that it would be a possibility for him. He is the most doting husband to exist, so it wasn’t hard for him to notice when you started sending one less letter a week when he was working and when he saw you less on the cameras installed at home. Simon was convinced you were cheating. It hurt initially, but he used his learned ability to become cold and set himself apart from things to get over it and finish his current mission. When he was on his drive home in his perfectly kept truck, he couldn’t help but grip the steering wheel so hard he thought it might break. After he realized the sneaky things you were doing he stopped checking in on the cameras. This was to your benefit, however, because you were able to decorate the house with pink in your pretty little maternity dress. No need to cover the cameras with towels like you had. As it turns out, two and a half months can help you develop a bump, at least in your case. As he pulled up, Simon prepared himself for the worst, bracing himself to see whatever abhorrent thing lay in the house. You stood in front of the door, ultrasound in hand, house teeming with pink balloons, pregnancy decor, and pink treats. Simon took a deep breath as he approached the eerily quiet house. He twisted the knob and opened the door to see you and everything you set up. “Surprise!” Simon’s ears were ringing and his vision blurred from a mix of anxiety and relief. Your smile faltered as you watched his unchanging expression and his rigid body stay still, staring, for a couple of minutes. Normally it wouldn't take him so long to react to something even if he was stunned, considering his training, but everything was so jarring and emotionally involved he couldn't help but need a minute. He was expecting to walk into boxes of your things, an empty house, or a man with you in the bedroom. You were expecting him to scoop you up in his arms and spin you around. Right when you were going to drop your smile and ask him what was wrong, he gained his bearings. He took slow, heavy steps towards you, eyes brimming with tears. He fell to his knees in front of you and sighed a deep breath of relief, hugging you to his body and shoving his face into your abdomen. “Si?” You couldn’t be more confused by his reaction. A muffled, “I love you so much,” came from Simon. You swore you could feel a wetness where his eyes were on your dress. “Are you happy?” you asked. Simon looked up at you with reddened, wet eyes and said, “Love, you have no idea how ecstatic I am for us, for our little lovey growing inside you.” Now it was your turn to cry, relief and love filling you. You hugged him as he stood up to give you a proper embrace. You guys eventually worked it out and Simon explained his reaction to you. At first, you were upset that he would ever think you could do that to him, but you understood after you realized where he was coming from with both his trauma and the statistics on cheating and failed marriages for military couples. If you thought he was thoughtful and dedicated before you were pregnant, he’s 10x more during and after your pregnancy. You gave birth to a healthy baby girl and named her Josie in honor of his nephew. 
Timeskip 
You sat on your couch with a deep smile on your face, the sun warming your body and your home. It was a warm summer day and you were listening to the harmonious giggles and screams of your 3-year-old daughter as her daddy chased her around the house. Your heart couldn’t feel more full as your husband and baby basked in the sweetness of love in your sanctuary. Your favorite song is hearing Josie say "Mommy" and "Daddy" in her little voice. She really is the sweetest thing you've seen. Of course, she has her moments, but she's so polite and helpful (in her own way). Minimal discipline is needed and both you and Simon handle her gently. Simon doesn't know if she's actually his kid with how even tempered she is. He made it a commitment to never shout or be rude to you or your baby and he has kept good to his word. Your pregnancy was emotional for both you and Simon. For you, it was knowing you were giving Simon the life and love he always deserved but didn’t always get. For Simon, it was knowing he was so vulnerable and putting his (now) two loves at risk with his job, but doing it anyway in the name of love and trust, something he didn’t have the privilege of truly experiencing until he met you and saw the sonogram of your Josie. He waited on you hand and foot, giving you anything you wanted or needed to ensure the smoothest experience for you. Simon didn’t know firsthand what it was like to be pregnant, but he did do hours of research on it and knew you were changing everything for and about yourself so you could have a bundle of joy. Now, he is the most doting husband and daddy. He takes Josie on daddy-daughter dates, spoils her endlessly, goes to all of her gymnastics practices, and even partakes in parent-toddler gymnastics nights. He buys her all of the best clothes and makes sure you have everything you need for her health and happiness, all while taking care of you even better than he did before. He makes sure you’re still healing from post-partum even 3 years later. He has so much love in his heart and it’s his job to share it with his two favorite girls.
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woso-dreamzzz · 6 months ago
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Icy III
Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader
Summary: He watches your match
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He sits up in the box with Laporta, stretched out on the foldout chair like it's his personal throne.
He's wearing a new suit, freshly ironed and tailored to fit his body perfectly. His hair has been cut and styled to give that almost effortless look about him.
"Trust fund, I reckon," Patri says from your warm up circle," That guy that's up there with Laporta."
"No way," Pina disagrees," That's new money, not old. Probably a hedge fun manager."
"Or some kind of oil and gas giant," Mapi laughs.
"None," You say," Real estate at first then tech and then big pharma over in the states."
"What made you guess that?" Mapi asks and you stubbornly kick the ball away.
"I didn't. Laporta's not going to get money out of him anyway. The wife is the one that invests in sports but only ones she gets good profits out of. Two NFL teams, a Formula One team. She owns a tennis stadium in Paris. Big investor in the Olympics."
"Oh come on," Patri complains," There's no way you just know that off the top of your head."
"It doesn't matter. If Laporta wants money he should talk to the wife."
You can feel his gaze on you throughout the match.
It's a team at the bottom of the table and you're so technical that they can't get close but you can still feel the weight of his stare on you at all times.
'You carry the weight of our family'.
He's told you that many times.
'If you cannot exceed expectations then we have no use for you'.
He's told you that too, something you remember as you cross the ball into Pina, who taps it in easily.
You celebrate together, hugging and you feel Ingrid's familiar presence behind you as she gives you her customary kiss on the head.
You look up at him in the crowd, just out of reflex but you can't see much.
He's still splayed out like he's a king on a throne, looking down at you like you're a peasant in the street, fighting with someone else for just a scrap of bread.
That's his idea of entertainment, like holding up a magnifying glass towards an ant hill in the middle of a sunny day.
You feel small under his gaze, dipping your head in submission as you walk back into your position.
You assist in the next three goals.
Alexia.
Aitana.
Even Keira.
You're good at that. You've perfected the art of assisting.
Mapi's even joked before that you're going for the record of assists from one person this season.
Alexia says she's going to make you be more selfish and shoot more but you don't think you really need to do that, not when Caro can do it instead of you.
This is one of the rare matches where Caro's being rotated so gets no minutes. You fill her place though, like you always do, setting up goals and carrying the ball down the wing.
Barcelona win, of course, and you drift back to Ingrid and Mapi like you normally do.
Mapi grins at you, arm thrown over your shoulder and a frown on her face as you go rigid under her.
Laporta is on the pitch with him, stuttering over his words and hurrying to keep up.
He stops in front of you.
"Y/n."
Your head drops automatically, thoroughly chastised as you step out from under Mapi's arms.
His hand clamps down on your shoulder and you can tell how this is going to go before he even opens his mouth.
"Of course we're very proud of her," His honeyed tone tells Laporta," We've wanted nothing but the best for her."
For them, you correct in your head.
"She's always had such a passion for football. We love watching her play."
He's never seen you play in his life.
"We-We're very happy to have her here!" Laporta tells him," She's a real talent. You're produced quite the footballer."
He laughs, waving away the compliments as his hand feels like a shackle around you. "You're too kind. Sports has never quite been my thing. I'll have to talk to the wife about what we were talking about, I'm sure you'll understand."
"Of course! Of course! Take all the time you need!"
He will. You know he will.
He'll discuss with her and they'll write up a contract if it's really something they're interested, about what they pay in and what they get out of it.
She's always been better at the sports side of it, despite her background in real estate. She knows how to talk people around in circles. How to get through the little boy's club that every sport has. She'll get what she wants if Barcelona is even something she's interested in.
You hope it isn't.
"I'll leave you alone with your daughter," Laporta says and you want to call after him.
You want to tell him not to leave with your father.
Barcelona was supposed to be yours. You were supposed to be safe here.
You can't control when they summon you in Norway but if you're in Barcelona, they're not supposed to be able to get to you. You're not meant to be subject to their whims in Barcelona.
You want to go home. You want to go home with Mapi and Ingrid and curl up in your bed with Toast and not move for a week.
His casual hand on your shoulder grows heavy in an instant, nails digging in to your skin through your shirt and you have to keep the smile on your face to keep up appearances for the cameras you know are on you.
His lips graze your ear as he whispers to you," If you ever blindside me like this again then I promise you won't like what happens next."
"Sorry, Father," You say back.
"You better be. I didn't like sitting up there with potential business partners to see my own daughter down there like a football hooligan."
"Sorry."
"I'm better than that and I raised you to be better than that too."
You resist the urge to tell him that he didn't raise you at all.
Your wrist twinges, the phantom injury flaring up like it always did when you're nervous.
You throat bobs, already closing up as you fight back tears.
"I'm sorry."
"Apologies mean nothing." His voice is harsh in your ear and you find a point ahead of you to stare at so you don't cry.
If there's something that he hates more than apologies, it's tears so you stubbornly don't let even one fall.
"Who's this, y/n?" Ingrid asks, clearing her throat and you flick your eyes to her.
"My-"
Your father says his name, sticking his hand out and he's back to playing the role of proud father. "And you are?"
"Ingrid Engen. I play with y/n on the Norwegian team too."
"Ah! Yes. I think she's mentioned you before!" He's lying.
He didn't even know you played on the national team.
"And I'm Mapi. She lives with me and Ingrid."
"I can't thank you enough," Your father says," She can be quite a handful sometimes." He laughs but no one laughs with him.
"I think she's delightful," Ingrid says," Very helpful. Very studious. She's the best in her class."
The smile on his face is real now, like it always is when he hears about your academics.
He started in real estate and then moved to investing in technology and pharmaceuticals. He and your mother are scarily intelligent and it might be the only thing they passed onto you.
"We expect nothing less of her," He says," I'm sure everyone at the party will be glad to hear it."
Your breath stutters in your chest. "The party?"
"Yes! The party! I must have forgotten to tell you! We're having a little get together with a few potential business partners. We'll have to get you a dress."
"I don't need to go."
"Don't be silly!" His hand tightens on your shoulder and you know that this isn't a discussion. "There's some people I should introduce you too."
Your head drops again, the fight leaving your body.
"Do you want us to go?" Ingrid asks, ever polite though you feel like without her and Mapi there you won't survive. "So you two can have dinner?"
Your father is laughing again, finally releasing you and you take several quick steps to duck behind Mapi.
"I've got a flight to catch. Meetings to get to. Far more important things."
He can't see you anymore, not with your head bowed and pressed against Mapi's back and you finally let the tears fall.
Ingrid watches your father leave, down the tunnel and escorted to the player's exit by the staff that seem to be falling over themselves to make him happy.
"Y/n," She says, coaxing you out from your hiding spot," Oh, sweetheart...Are you okay?"
You look at her, bottom lip trembling as the tears run down your cheeks.
"Ingrid," You say, sounding small and wounded like an animal," I want to go home."
Ingrid nods as Mapi tucks you under her arm.
"Let's go home."
617 notes · View notes
machrealgirl · 2 months ago
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i find moceit such an endearing yet fascinating ship, because of how their every interaction subverts the general expectation the very early series set up. patton is, to me, a lot more interesting of a character when interpreted as the morality of a young catholic boy, adapting very poorly to the fact that that young boy is now a full grown adult man, who needs to start considering things from a more nuanced point of view. patton was born from what c!thomas was taught was right and wrong, and he still has trouble letting go of that rigid mindset. and janus effectively juggles protecting c!thomas and his mental health, and trying to gently guide patton through deconstruction. at the end of svs redux, their back and forth with each other is essentially just janus reassuring patton that c!thomas is still a good person, he just has to put himself first sometimes in order to be able to do any good for others, and patton panicking at the concept.
overall, there are so many scenes where janus is just. incredibly soft towards patton, if you pay attention. he acknowledges, almost immediately, that he knows patton isn't trying to hurt c!thomas. his voice is calm and gentle, as he assures patton "i'll take care of him", reminds him that they're on the same team. not to even mention all the fluffy filler shit, janus giving patton a christmas card wrapped in multiple boxes because he knew he'd appreciate the gag? patton calling janus "jan"?? the whole thing about janus giving patton half of his sandwich, and then immediately trying to deny it by claiming he thought patton was a trashcan???
absolute peak ship, i can't lie.
315 notes · View notes
ladsloveletters · 2 months ago
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BACK FOR YOU
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summary: Caleb returns to find out you’re having sex with your best friend Zayne.
warnings: MDNI, 18+ content
tags: Nurse!MC, ZaynexMC, CalebxMC, FWB!Zayne, Jealous!Caleb, Love triangle trope perhaps, Caleb doesn’t die in this fic, rough sex, fingering, spitting, spanking, gagging, other filthy stuff, there’s plot in here because i enjoy context lol
word count: 6.2k
notes: not edited and read over quickly once lol just want more caleb smut in my life. also like the idea of love triangle between childhood friends.
The morning shift was almost at its peak. People flooded the hallway. Nurses at the nursing station ruffling through patient files. Doctors pagers beeping as they scurry to the next consultation. Radiologists yelling at physiotherapists to move out of the way as they haul their giant mobile X-Ray machines. In the background you can hear all the patients using their call-bells, lighting up the ceiling TV screens like Christmas Eve.
You sigh, the usual midday headache creeping up your shoulders.
And yet amidst the normal chaos of Akso General Hospital, Dr. Zayne, your childhood best friend, manages to stop in the middle of it all and smirk. ‘Have you had a break yet?’
Flicking your gloves into the bin outside the patient’s door, you turn towards Zayne who happens to be walking down the hallway. ‘I have not peed since I woke up,’ you grunt, making your way across to the busy nurses station to where an amused Zayne rests his arms upon. You let yourself rest on your side, mirroring him.
If it weren't for the many years you had known the man, you would have been fooled by his cool calm demeanor he wears so well. You scanned him. Neatly gelled hair. Freshly shaved face (he missed a spot right by his left jaw). Baby pink button down peaking through his white coat. Polished black shoes matching his pressed pants. And yet you can also note the tick of his jaw. The soft crease between his brows. The faint shadows under his eyes. Zayne was equally as tired. You chuckled, only 3 more hours until the shift ends.
‘I heard the cafeteria is now serving apple pie,’ you offer.
His dark brow quirks up, ‘Since when did you show interest in apple pie?’ he shakes his head, dark hair covering his gaze, ‘Definitely not an appropriate lunch.’
You lean further into your arm, your hand keeping your head upright. ‘I’m sure a certain Colonel would disagree.’
Zayn turned rigid. Right. Caleb.
The DAA Colonel was scheduled to return tomorrow morning. Much to your excitement, the older childhood friend couldn’t help but sense something was off. It was simple. You and Caleb would play while Zayne would watch from afar. And when the sun had set at the playground, Zayne would be the responsible one to walk you home whilst Caleb stayed and played with the other neighbourhood kids. Always measured and always cautious, the childhood dynamic between the three of you remained unchanged even with the other’s disappearance. After high school graduation, the three of you promised to stay in touch no matter what. Even if that meant for Caleb to leave Linkon to join the DAA, leaving you and Zayne behind.
You had hoped for your friend’s return. But hope can be a fickle thing.
-
Caleb’s eyes were fixated on the small red box. Your hands were clasped around it so tightly, your breath caught in your chest. This was a mistake. A nervous laugh bubbled through your throat as you quickly drew the box behind your back, ‘It’s a stupid present!’ you stuttered shaking your head, ‘I just saw it one day shopping with grandma and-’
His lilac gaze darkened as he quickly snatched the box out of your hands.
“Hey!’
Using his height to his advantage Caleb turns his back towards you as he quickly rips open the box again and plucks out the necklace. ‘When you come back…’ he reads, holding up the dog tag out of your reach and smiling. ‘You’re really going to miss me, Pipsqueak?’
You huff as he continues to turn away from your reach, laughing at your poor attempts of swatting the silver chain out of his large grasp. ‘It’s not my fault you chose to become a stupid pilot instead of going to med school like Zayne!’
The older boy scoffs, turning away from you once more to quickly clasp the chain around his neck. He grins as he tucks the dog tag into his school shirt. Caleb couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten at the mention of the older boy's name. It’s always the same with you. Safe. Responsible. No wonder grandma always wanted Zayne to walk you home after school instead of Caleb. Zayne, your neighbour and best friend. The older upper classmen who always had people gushing about him despite his closed off personality. Personally, it always seemed to annoy Caleb.
But he was good to you, Zayne. Caleb knew that. He saw it every time he walked you home. He saw it when Zayne would drop off boxed lunch for you early in the morning on his way to University. And he knew that he would be able to take care of you whilst he went to the DAA.
But Caleb couldn’t ignore the sting in his eyes at the thought of leaving you for several months. And that's only if things at DAA go smoothly. At worst, Caleb may be gone for a few years before he’s even allowed for a stationed break. But he must go, in order to keep you safe.
‘Why don’t you go to medical school if you admire Zayne so much?’ he teases.
You stop attempting to take off Caleb’s necklace and blink up at him. The cotton blouse of your school uniform is dampened with sweat from the summer air. A soft cool breeze threaded through the leaves of the large tree you stood under, cooling your exposed neck under your ponytail. A mix of frustration and embarrassment reddens your cheeks, ‘Maybe I will.’
Caleb stares down at you. He had gotten taller over the Summer. A whole head taller and then some. Graduation was always bittersweet, and to be honest Caleb couldn’t care less for all the other classmates waiting to give him a parting present as well. After the graduation ceremony he found himself at the back court, trying to get some air before all the other students rushed out to celebrate. He wasn’t oblivious to his popularity. He knew from the stares he would get from other girls and glares from his basketball team. But it never mattered.
All he could focus on was you, standing under the big crabapple tree, small red box in hand waiting to give you a farewell gift. His best friend, who for some reason was always a little something more to him.
Caleb bit his pride aside and took in a deep breath. He stepped forward which made you instinctively step back. The treebark was rough against your skin. Your feet planted between the thick roots of the tree. ‘Stay out of trouble Pipsqueak,’ he murmured, reaching forward. He leant forward, bracing himself with one hand against the tree. The other hand reached under his shirt, thumb pulling out the silver chain. The small apple pendant dangled above your eyeline. The engraved words on the dog tag stared down at you.
‘I’ll come back home before you know it.’
-
Zayne was always gentle with you.
Despite him being your senior, Zayne had never let you feel small. In fact, he was the opposite. Any chance he got, Zayne had made sure you felt confident and empowered and supported. Even through nursing school with late night studying and long days working at the convenience store to pay for school- Zayne was there to help. Handwritten flash cards. Homemade lunch boxes. He was there.
And when Caleb stopped responding to your letters and emails, Zayne was there as well.
He can admit, the younger boy was trouble. But he also saw how much he cared for you. After all, you were so excited to give him his graduation present that you decided to ask Zayne for his opinion. ‘Do you think he’ll like it?’ you bit into your nails. Zayne would try not to roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders, ‘He would be an ungrateful idiot if not.’
After all, you were always looking out for them both. Even when Zayne had questioned your motives to become a nurse, you simply responded, ‘It’s so I can help others no matter what,’ you shrugged, ‘And so I can see you often and help Caleb if he ever gets injured.’
It came so easily to you, helping others. It was the biggest thing Zayne admired about you. However it was also your biggest weakness, wearing your heart on your sleeve. His biggest worry was how easy it would be to break your heart.
And so it was Zayne’s personal mission to ensure that no one would break your heart. Because at the end of the day, you were his best friend and he was looking out for you. He would take care of you no matter what.
Which is how you ended up in the abandoned storage room at the bottom of Asko Hospital. With Zayne, taking care of you.
‘A-Ah, Zayne hurry up,’ you whine.
His kisses were more rough today. Something you noted as soon as he had pushed you through the storage room doors. He had carelessly slammed his swipecard against the door lock, pressing his mouth against your neck as he closed the door shut behind you. Peeling off his coat and swipecard, he dropped everything onto the floor one by one.
You turn around to meet his soft lips, pressing yours against them. His tongue made no mistake in entering your mouth swiftly, softly entangling with yours. He smelled of coffee and laundry detergent as he pushed you against one of the metal shelves. His large hands made work to the back of your head, one hand firm at the back of your neck as the other took off the claw clip of your ponytail. Your hair fell around your shoulders as your hands tugged at his waist.
‘Does this count as a lunch break?’
Zayne grunted, taking his glasses off and placing them on the shelf behind you as he brushed your hair over your shoulder. He hummed as he pressed open mouth kisses along your collar bone and you sighed in bliss as your head fell back. This is how it was. It was a mutual decision. Working at a busy hospital meant a lot of stress and frustration would pent up so quickly and easily. It was only logical to find an equally quick and easy release.
Whose idea it was, you cannot remember.
‘You’re so hard already,’ you sigh as your hand feels up the front of Zayne’s pants. He chuckled as he brought a hand forward to cup your breast. Through your thin scrubs he could feel your nipple pebble and harden under your bralette. ‘Could say the same for you.’
You huff and make quick work of his belt buckle and Zayne lets you as you pull down the zipper and drop his slacks around his thick thighs. You groan at the sight of the tent in his black briefs. Lifting your arms up, Zayne swiftly pulls your scrub top over your head and throws it into the corner. He smirks at the sight of your heaving chest. ‘Eager?’ he teases.
‘Whatever,’ you grumble as you tug him forward with his necktie. His mouth was on yours once again. His kisses tasted divine. Not that you had much to compare to. Your mouth only knew Zayne’s. And Caleb.
But that was neither here nor there. And where you are now, wrapped in the strong arms of your favourite doctor, was where you wanted, needed to be.
You bury the thought of anyone else and let yourself fall drunk off his kisses. Pushing your front flush against him, he moans at the contact. Indeed, he was very hard.
‘Do you think you can take an extra fifteen for your lunch break?’ you murmur, mouth getting swollen from Zayne’s tender bites.
Not bothering to respond, Zayne tugs the bottom of your scrubs down enough to expose your pink striped panties. His hand cups the front of your pussy and lets out a short breath. ‘You’re so fucking wet.’ His fingers don’t take time to slip under the soaked cotton and glide themselves over your slick. ‘Is this how you walk around all day?’ he grunts, ‘Wet and waiting for me to take you?’
Your head falls onto Zayne’s shoulder, mouth agape. Your hips buck and grind against his palm, begging for more than just his teasing fingertips.
‘If it weren’t for you walking around like that,’ he buries his nose into the crook of your neck. His hot breath fanning your ear and you shudder. ‘I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything all day,’ he confesses, ‘Do you know how dangerous that would be for me, love? I am the most respected cardiac surgeon in all of Linkon and the sight of you reduces me to nothing.’
His fingers gently caress your swollen clit, massaging them ever so slowly. You can feel yourself getting more wet, practically soaking yourself into his palm. Zayne presses his lips against the sensitive spot of your neck, ‘So fucking wet just for me.’
You whine as your hand blindly reaches for his cock. You can’t take this anymore. You needed more. And today, for no particular reason, seems to have you both riled and wanting more. ‘P-please Zayne, I-I can’t take it.’
He chuckled, his fingers gliding down and slipping inside of you. ‘You can take it,’ he reassured, ‘You can take all of me just like you have been all these months.’
-
Caleb was coming home tomorrow.
That was what you had told yourself over and over again since you had woken up. You thought about him in the shower. While you were attending a patient’s wound dressing. While you ate lunch after your quickie with Zayne. And even now, laying in bed your eyes bore into the ceiling. Caleb was coming home tomorrow. Your head turned to your bedside alarm and sighed. Sleep won’t come easy tonight. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath.
You thought of Zayne. He was different today and you couldn’t pinpoint why. It was nothing out of the ordinary for you two to have sex. In fact, you almost had it scheduled every week. It was a mutual companionship you both had expressed was purely physical and even productive. As you shed away all the stresses of work and the world, you were able to relax in the comfort of convenience in one of your oldest friends’ arms.
And yet there was something about him today that was foreign. In the way he kept you close to him. Visiting you on the ward in the middle of the shift. Asking if you had lunch even though you normally skipped it in return for finishing work early. And how he had kissed you after you had come around his cock, mouth hard and earnest against you.
Your eyes remain closed, pictures of Zayne’s hot body pressed against yours. His hands roaming every inch of your skin. You bit down on your lip. Mindlessly, you let your hands start to feel up your body. The soft silky nightgown (a humorous birthday gift from Zayne last year) falling off your shoulder and exposing one of your breasts. You let out a soft sigh as you palm and pinch at your nipples.
‘Am I interrupting something?’
Fuck.
You could have swore you were dreaming at the sound of his voice. Eyes wide open you sit up, linen pooling around your waist as your eyes directly meet Caleb’s.
Mouth agape, like a fish out of water, you stare at him. Caleb. He stood by the doorframe of your bedroom, body leaning against it as one leg crossed over the other. His arms were folded and a smirk spread across his pink lips. It took you a moment to register who was standing before you. ‘Caleb?’
If Caleb grew a head taller than you after graduation that summer, then he must have grown another foot. His shadow loomed over you. His broad shoulders stretched the thick fabric of his military jacket as he uncrossed his arms and brought his hand up in a mock salute. ‘Nice to see you too Pipsqueak,’ he sings. His violet gaze flickers to your chest and you scramble to pull the sheet up to your chest. But you were too transfixed at the sight of him.
‘So this is how you kept yourself busy while I was gone?’
Pushing off the doorframe he walks into the room slowly. The leather boots and the sound of your breathing filling the bedroom. ‘I thought you were coming back tomorrow.’
Caleb shrugged, ‘I lied.’
He walked around the bed with slow steps. As if with every stomp of his boot, another thought came to his mind. The air around you drew cold and tense. And an air of uncertainty filtered into your bedroom window.
It was late at night. And in this hour, the moonlight painted silver stripes into your room. It shone across your bedsheets and highlighted the violet gaze which never left yours. It was as if the centre of gravity had shifted. And nothing but Caleb’s gaze was holding you down in the bed. You couldn’t even cover yourself, your breast bare to him. You were frozen.
‘I wanted to surprise you. But it looks like you had other things going on.’
You didn’t understand. This was not Caleb. Your Caleb wouldn’t speak the way he is speaking right now. With this air of fear and uncertainty you swallowed down your dry throat. ‘Caleb what happened-’
He stopped at the foot of the bed abruptly and turned to you. ‘One year Pipsqueak.’ he snarled, reaching forward and gripping the edge of the bedframe. ‘I was gone for one year and you had the nerve to go and fuck Zayne? Out of all fucking people?’
You were stunned.
Caleb let out a laugh you could only decipher as mockery. ‘You even went ahead and became a nurse for him! Just like I thought you would,’ he laughed. He took off his hat and your chest heaved as you fully took in his face. Pieces of short dark locks fell above his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. He placed his hat on your bed. The leather gloves tighten its grip against the wooden bedframe.
‘H-How did you know?’
There was no point denying it at this point. But if the man in front of you was truly Caleb, then you had to know how he came to know the secret arrangement you had with Zayne this whole time he was at the DAA.
Caleb snickered, ‘I always knew Pipsqueak.’
He pushed himself off the bedframe and made his way around to the side of the bed. There he stood over you, his shadow eclipsing the moonlight seeping from the window. In the dark, his violet eyes were shining with a sinister glint. He grinned, ‘It was just a matter of what I would do when I came home.’
You felt powerless. Your eyes couldn’t believe that Caleb was here. After a year of mourning his presence, missing him, the Caleb that returned was unrecognisable. Caleb smirked at your face. He could tell you were afraid. It excited him. It excited him even more to see how unfazed you were having your chest so exposed to him. His tongue darted out to wet his dry lips. ‘How long have you been fucking him?’
Your eyes narrowed, ‘I thought you knew everything, Colonel.’
Caleb quickly brought his hand under your chin, the leather of his glove pressing into your skin. He jerks your head closer to him as he leans in, ‘I want you to admit how much of a slut you are.’
‘You couldn’t even wait for me, Pipsqueak,’ he feigned sorrow, ‘You just had to jump onto the next guy that offered you cock.’
You scoffed and tried to pull away from his grasp. But Caleb held onto you tightly, his thumb pinching your chin tightly, ‘Caleb you’re hurting me-’
‘How long?’ he presses.
Your skin was on fire with the intensity of Caleb’s gaze searing into you.
‘Since I started working at Akso.’
He pulled you closer, you could smell him. Smoke and citrus. His lips were almost brushing against yours, his long lashes brushing your cheek as he turned to whisper into your ear. ‘You know you belong to me.’
You shuddered at his words and swallowed.
At this point your breasts were aching, begging to be touched. And the absolute terror Caleb reigned over you had all the more brought out the tingling sensation of your arousal.
He drew only a breath back, his grasp on your chin loosening only a fraction as his eyes stared into yours. Caleb smirked as he feels you practically lean further into his touch. ‘Well?’ he asked, cocking his head to the side in feigned interest, ‘Say it.’
A flash of confusion crosses your eyes before you blink away at his request. ‘What?’
Caleb brings a knee onto the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. He tilts your head up, ‘Say you belong to me.’
A silver shine catches your eyes and your lips part. There, tucked away under the collar of his fleetspace uniform, lay the familiar silver chain. Caleb watches your gaze flicker back to his, and notices the wet shine in your eyes.
When U Come Back.
‘I’m yours, Caleb,’ you choke out, tears threatening to slip against the burning of your cheeks,’I belong to you.’
His mouth crashes into yours almost violently as he pushes you back down into the bed. You land with a soft thud, his gloved hand catching the back of your head as he grasps a fist full of your hair.
A grunt escapes your lips and you gasp as Caleb slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes as good as he smells as he wedges a muscled thigh between your legs. You try to shake the thought that this man on top of you was the same sweet boy who had always played with you at school. The same boy that held your backpack when it was too heavy. The same one that would tie your shoelaces.
The loud crash of boots disappear in the background as Caleb kicks them off and turns your head to the side. He wastes no time in running his other hand up your side as he presses sloppy wet kisses down your throat. ‘You grew into such a pretty slut,’ he teased as he massaged into your side, ‘Do you wear these things every night hoping someone would find you?’
At this point your panting and Caleb chuckles at the sight. He’s proud to see such a reaction out of you. Flushed cheeks. Hair tousled and sticking to your forehead. Your lips parted and almost dry from all the airy breaths.
His nose brushes against your skin as he kisses his way down to your chest, ‘Or were you wearing this knowing I would be knocking on your door in the morning, Pipsqueak?’
Balling your fists, you held onto the sheets tightly. Cocky bastard. Your knees closed in one another, locking Caleb into place. Your eyes darted to him and you sneered, ‘Maybe I was expecting a certain doctor instead.’
The growl erupted from Caleb was carnal. You watched in a trance as he licked a stripe down the fold of your cleavage. ‘Shut the fuck up.’
Your laughter was cut short when Caleb took your breast into his mouth. He sucks roughly at your nipple, grazing at it with his teeth. He hums in approval when you let out a gutteral groan, ‘Fuck.’
His other hand lets go of your head and reaches towards your throat. In a firm grasp, he holds you down as he continues to lap at your tits. ‘That’s right baby,’ he released your nipple with a soft ‘pop’ before kissing his way to the other. He draws a circle with his tongue around the hardened bud before taking it between his teeth. ‘Your tits are so fucking perfect.’
If Zayne was gentle, then Caleb was brutal.
If Zayne was considerate, then Caleb was selfish.
If Zayne was your comfort, then Caleb was your undoing.
You were squirming and your pussy was throbbing beneath your nightgown. And, unknowing to the man hovering above you, you were completely exposed. After all you lived alone, why wear underwear around the house? Saves on laundry.
As if he can scent you, Caleb pulls himself up and cages you under him. He rips off his gloves and jacket, leaving him in his white slacks and button down. His black tie dangles in your face as he leans down. ‘I can smell how fucking wet you are Pipsqueak,’ he muses. He palms his hard cock under his pants, begging for release. But he remains measured, composed. ‘Let me fuck you and I’ll make sure you never need to touch anyone else but me again.’
His words were seeping into your bones as his deep breaths masked his self restraint. You can feel the sheets curl beneath you as he fists the linen in earnest. With heavy lids you avert your gaze, the boldness of his attitude pinning you down. ‘But Zayne is so good to me…’
It was a mistake to even think of another man whilst Caleb practically hunted you down. At the sound of another man’s name, your childhood best friend snarled as he pulled down his pants swiftly.
Holy shit.
He was huge, even in his large grasp. You watch with mouth agape as Caleb lazily fisted his cock above you. His brows furrowed and his violet glare sent shockwaves all over you. He smirked, ‘Zayne might be good to you baby…’
‘But I’m not going to hold back.’
He leant forward once more and you gasp at the hard thickness of Caleb’s cock pressing against your stomach. You groan as he teases the tip of his cock down your navel to the top of your swollen clit. The hardened bud was throbbing and aching and practically begging for any friction. Your hands hold onto the sides of his biceps, the strong corded muscles shifting under his thin shirt.
He chuckled, ‘I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to take everything I’ll give you.’
There was no question in his tone and no room for even doubt before Caleb pushed his hard cock inside you. You let out a yelp at the sheer force of him stretching inside of your pussy. Your fingernails dig into his arms deeper as you moan, ‘Holy shit.’
‘Fucking hell,’ Caleb muttered, drawing his hips back and watching the length of his cock disappear inside of you with a quick snap. The force of his weight moved your body against the bed, the sound of his pelvis meeting yours.
It wasn’t long for you to adjust to him. Your body was practically moulding beneath him, accommodating to every curve and every inch of his hard cock as Caleb begins a brutal pace. ‘Take it for me,’ he muttered, throwing his leather gloves off and finding his hands gripping onto your hips firmly.
The sound was filthy, your wet pussy slobbering all over Caleb’s length as he continuously pulls you into him. You pant and writhe beneath him, ‘Caleb it’s too much-‘
He huffed as he continued to fuck you harder, ‘No it’s not enough,’ he decided. Your eyes were watery at the overwhelming sensation of his touch. There was no time for you to even register him flipping you over to your stomach.
You whine at the sudden loss of him pulling out of you.‘See?’ he sneered, pushing you down and lifting your hips up. His large hands, calloused and rough compared to Zayne’s, kneaded into the soft flesh of your ass. Caleb hums as he palms your soft skin before delivering a loud slap onto you.
‘Ah! Caleb!’
You shudder with each delivering blow, your back arched as your moans muffle through your pillow. Your fingers gripped onto the sheets as the stinging heat of your skin continued.
You can hear the sound of buttons popping and a soft thud onto the ground as Caleb strips himself off from his clothes. Your cheeks reddened at the thought of him naked before you, dressed in nothing but a skimpy silk nightgown.
Caleb reaches for you, grabs a fistful of your hair and jerks your head up. Before you could protest, he stuffs his fingers into your mouth and shoves the black cloth of his tie into it. The sound of your surprise is muffled and gagged.
‘Now I wouldn’t have to hear you say any other name again.’
He wastes no time in pushing himself back into you. The thick head of his cock parting the soaking folds of your pussy before practically sucking him in. Caleb moans, his grip on your ass tightening as he stills inside of you. ‘Fuck,’ he laughs, ‘You’re pussy is so fucking tight.’
He snaps into you, ass in the air as his hips meet yours. You fall back into the mattress, hands bracing before you as your muffled moans fill the room.
‘Isn’t this what you wanted?’ Caleb asks as he pounds into you, pace relentless, ‘Your pussy was practically calling my name the minute I stepped into your apartment.’
His cock throbbed inside of you, penetrating your walls in an unforgiving manner. He was so thick and long and fuck you wanted to come so badly.
Caleb leans forward, wrapping an arm around your waist before pulling you up. Your back is flush against him and the hard muscles of his stomach heave behind you. He fucks up into you, the new angle giving him an even deeper access. His other hand reaches around to your bundle of nerves. ‘This clit is mine,’ he whispers in your ear. The sight of his tie balled up into your mouth turned him on so much. In fact, the sight of you completely reduced to nothing but a cock drunk slut gave him such euphoria.
‘Do you even know how much I missed you?’ he seethed, his fingertips circling your clit as he continued to pound into you. His hips jerking forward with so much intensity you were practically bouncing in the air.
You cry as Caleb’s cock presses itself into your G-spot. The massage of his thick bulbous tip grinding against you was enough to have you standing just by the edge.
Caleb slowed his pace just a fraction as if he could sense how close you were. His hands disappeared from your clit much to your protest. Pushing you off from him, Caleb flipped you back onto your back.
Pulling the gag out of your mouth, Caleb’s eyes were clouded full of lust and desire as you wet your lips. ‘I missed you,’ you return, panting and gasping for air.
Delight flickered in his eyes as Caleb pushing your thighs back towards your chest. He held your thighs there as he lined himself up to your entrance. ‘Fucking liar,’ he chuckled before spitting onto your clit. You moan and swear as the dollop of spit glides down your folds.
‘If you really missed me you would have saved yourself for me.’
He grabs his cock in a tight fist, his other hand holding you open before him. He teases the tip of his cock, covering it in the mixture of your slick and his saliva.
‘Please Caleb,’ you beg.
The sound was glorious. This was all he ever wanted. He didn’t care about anything else. All he wanted was you. And seeing you beneath him, practically a body full of lust and heat and want. It was driving him crazy. He would almost forgive you for what you have done. The betrayal you have committed.
‘Please, please-‘
Caleb fucks you like never before. He enters so smoothly before holding onto your thighs and pounding into you mercilessly. You moan his name over and over again. Caleb grunts in approval, the sight of your tits bouncing sending him over the edge.
‘Your pussy is mine,’ he declares.
You nod in a dazed state, ‘It’s yours.’
His thrusts drove deeper, bottoming out so his balls were flush against you. You let out a long whine, hands clutching onto your tits. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t think of anything else but Caleb fucking you so good. Your fingers pinched and pulled at your nipples, palming and kneading your soft breasts.
‘That’s right baby,’ Caleb sighs at the sight, drinking you in. ‘Play with your tits as I fuck into you.’
His words turned you on so much. The filthy sounds of you fucking and his degrading tone left you feeling an incredible high. You knew you were close.
‘I’m going to come inside of you and you’re going to take it for me. You’re going to be a good girl for once and fucking take it.’
You nod. At this point you were agreeable to anything as long as Caleb continued to fuck you. You chew onto your bottom lip, eyes rolling back at the feeling of his cock continuously hitting that delicious spot.
‘That’s it baby,’ he moans, ‘Fuck you look so good taking my cock like that.’
Your mouth was dry as you stare into him. His foggy gaze was determined and shadowed with an almost animalistic lust. Your hands cup your breasts as you continue to bounce off him.
Fuck, he was going to come. The sight of you was too much. And at the edge of his unraveling, you leaned forward and pressed your mouth onto his. Your tongue lapped at his bottom lip before sinking your teeth into his flesh. Sucking at his lip, you moaned as his silver necklace pressed against your breast.
His kiss was hot and reckless. Losing all sense of control, you feel your own unraveling come before you. Letting out a long whine your pussy clenches around Caleb’s cock as you feel yourself coming over him. It was too much. All too much. The intense pull of your pussy and the taste of your tongue and the smell of you hair was driving Caleb closer and closer to the point of no return.
‘That’s right, come around my cock,’ he shuddered, ‘Show me how good my cock makes your pussy feel.’
His handprints were branding marks on your skin as Caleb delivers his final crushing thrusts into your pussy, claiming all that you could give to him. A wave of pleasure crashed into him as Caleb’s pace faltered. ‘Fuck!’
Hot white ropes of Caleb’s come seeps into you as he continues to fuck into your pussy. You moan his name several times, wrapping your arms around his neck. Caleb brings his arms around you, holding you above him as you grind onto his cock milking his come out of him.
‘Don’t stop fucking moving,’ he commanded, panting into your ear as you grind against him.
You moan loudly as you lazily roll your hips against him, chasing your high as your legs wrapped around his waist with Caleb sat on his knees under you. Your clit, swollen and tortured, rubs against his groin as you feel his come fill you up entirely.
Your hands run through his hair, sweaty and ruffled as you stare into his half-lidded gaze. His eyes flickered to your tongue as it sweeps over your swollen bottom lip. Caleb leans in to kiss you. This time it was more gentle, more soft. Almost tender.
You both take a moment to catch your breaths. Limbs still tangled and entwined, you remain still together in the bed. His cock was still warm inside of you. You didn’t care to move.
You sniffle at the sight of him. ‘How long are you here for?’ you whisper.
In the darkest of hour in the night, despite your loud rendezvous moments ago, your question was quiet and filled with fear and anxiety. Caleb is back. And you don’t think you could ever see him leave again.
Caleb offers you a small smile, arms wrapping around your waist again as you push back his hair from his sweaty forehead. ‘I’ll be here for as long as you need me to be, Pipsqueak,’ he teased. You grunt and slap his chest to which he burst into laughter. The tension in your shoulders lifting at the sound.
Caleb grins and a mischievous glint flashes in his eyes as he brings his hand to cup the back of your neck. Pulling you down, his forehead presses against yours.
‘I came back for you, Pipsqueak.’
Your breath hitches as you can feel Caleb’s cock growing hard again inside of you. His other hand resting on the side of your thigh, his thumb massaging soft circles into your hot skin. The fire in your chest reignites at the carnal desire growing back in his violet eyes.
‘I won’t be leaving anytime soon.’
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weird-and-unwell · 1 year ago
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“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.
I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.
At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.
I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.
I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.
I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.
I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.
Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.
I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.
"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.
Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.
But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.
I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.
Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.
And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.
But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.
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patchworkcuddlebug · 3 months ago
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A Parasite
Norae was always... resistant to having a doll. Her covenmates tell her about theirs like they're little slave-things, always wandering around your house and doing things you should be doing on your own. It's creepy, and (she would never say this out loud) enabling laziness.
But as her power grows, so does her manor. She begins noticing hallways stretching out longer than they once did, with protrusions shaped like doorknobs emerging from the walls. There's already a set of stairs leading uselessly into the ceiling, no doubt where the second story will begin to grow.
The effort she put into keeping things in order used to be paltry for a witch as powerful as her, but she's starting to get annoyed by the distractions. She is growing tired of pruning new furniture like weeds.
She knows nothing of clockwork, and she never developed her skills in magical dollcraft for obvious reasons. But she will sometimes catch sight of a stray, trying to find purpose in picking the wild berries just beyond her yard. She wonders if she'll be helpful enough, before quietly correcting herself and wondering if it will be helpful enough.
She told her coven how she was thinking about leaving a sort of trap for it, a cup of tea under a cardboard box held up with a stick, only half serious. Regardless, they told her that dolls are much more trusting and docile than she was assuming, and that she simply needed to approach and talk to it.
She waited with a book, just on the edges of her property. The wide brim of her hat helped block the glare of the sun as she'd occasionally look off through the trees. Soon, it came walking past her unceremoniously, seeming as if it's trying to ignore her. It's walking to the bush. There's already a few ripe berries piled neatly in its hand.
It was made with porcelain, with a more tattered version of the maid dress they all seem to wear, walking with just as much rigidity and poise. But this is the first doll she's seen with a wind-up key. It slowly turned just a few degrees for every moment that passed. She could see a little rope tied to one of the sides, presumably so that one could wind it on her own.
"Excuse me? ...Doll?" Just as she starts speaking, it perks up, looking ready to leap into action. "Y... yes, Miss?" Its voice is timid, but eager.
"Would you like to, uh..." She hesitates for a moment, feeling ridiculous. This is the first time she's had to say something like this out loud. "Belong to me? I have tea."
It gasps. "Yes! Oh, yes, thank you Miss!" She runs up to the witch as if to give her a hug, only to skitter to a last-second stop just in front of her and give a polite bow, with proper curtsy.
"Right. Um, follow me, then." She closes her book and begins walking back to her door, her movements awkward as the doll followed close behind. She can't stop looking back at it, at its bizarrely serene face and excited steps. "So, do you have a name?"
"This one's old witch called it Lullaby, Miss!" It seems so happy to say.
"That's... still your name then, I think."
"Yay! Thank you Miss!"
. . . . .
Colloquially, the word "doll" is often used to describe any construct that obeys a witch, with considerable variation thereupon. Perhaps the most infamous among these variants in classification is the combat doll. These ones can often be identified by their more metallic exterior, such that they can easily be confused for androids at first glance, but there also exists combat dolls that
"Excuse this one, Miss?" the thing knocks at the door to the witch's study. It lingers in the doorway, not wanting to intrude further.
Norae tries to stifle a sigh of annoyance as she turns away from her book. "Yes, Lullaby?" She just noticed that her its hair just a little dishevelled from working, but it's not nearly as matted and gnarled as it was earlier today. She's glad it looks so much more... healthy.
"This one has finished sweeping the first floor, Miss!" The doll smiled, clearly proud of herself. The witch is caught in her own head for only a moment, ruminating on owning someone... something so close to a human. "What would you like it to do next?"
"You..." it takes her a moment to stifle her shock. She's read enough to know that such a task is to be expected from dolls, but it still seemed to work so hard so fast. "Then you've completed your chores. Treat yourself to some tea." She tells it matter-of-factly and turns back to her book, trying to match the professionalism of her literature.
"But, Miss!" The doll says. Norae turns back, and sees the doll has a very human, very concerned look. "This one has barely worked today! Would you like it to scrub the floors as well? Or organize your bookshelf? It can cook for you, Miss!"
"Hey, calm down, it's alright." The doll's owner tries to sound reassuring, as one would to a friend. "I don't know how your last witch did it, but I don't want to overwork you. Do you like to read? I have a library."
The doll tried to swallow its apprehensive look. "This one will read for you, Miss." It nods dutifully and runs along.
That... went well, she thinks. She understands that dolls are... eager, to a certain degree, but she's sincere about not wanting to exhaust the poor girl thing. She also thinks about her own autonomy, and how listless she'd feel if left without her own chores.
. . . . .
Norae lets out a bored sigh as she watched the vegetables sizzle in their pan. She tries to stir them around, spreading them evenly in the oil, but it's more to entertain herself than to properly cook.
She hears Lullaby quickly, yet still with a polite reservation, hurry up the stairs.
"Miss!" It calls out, drowning out its footsteps before it turns the corner. As it emerges into the kitchen, it looks... mortified. "It's so sorry, let this one, good dolls should-"
"Lullaby, it's okay!" She holds the frying pan up, higher than the doll can reach. "You don't have to do everything for me just because you're a doll."
"But, Miss, this one wants to!" It looks desperate and pleading. "Please, Miss, you've been so nice, and this-"
"Hey, calm down, there's no need for that." Norae tries to sound reassuring. She sets the pan down and turns to give Lullaby her full attention, kneeling to match her its eye level and placing a hand on its shoulder. "I know you want to help, but I enjoy being able to take care of myself, too. You already do plenty, and you should be proud of that."
The doll trembles, only as much as its docility will allow. "Yes Miss, Thank you Miss." After a quick bow, it gets out of Miss's way, leaving her to return to her monotonous stove-watching.
Lullaby takes a seat on Miss's couch. eyes forward and hands on its lap. It's so comfortable, the soft cushioning much more enveloping that the stumps it was used to sitting on. It tries to find a place to rest its eyes. On Miss's roaring fire, magically permeating a tender warmth through the room? On the door to the maid's quarters, where Miss had cleaned it and told it all it had to know? On Miss's beautiful and intricate grandfather clock, which it is letting collect a thin layer of dust?
It shouldn't cry. Miss is being nice, after all.
. . . . .
The doll shakes itself from a stupor. It wasn't still; there was no comfort in its emptiness, just effortful restraint fading into a half-present miasma.
Norae gestures for it to face away, gently guiding its shoulders to face where she sat on the couch. "Lean forward, please."
"It's okay, Miss." The doll sounded groggy, words tumbling heavily out of its mouth. "You don't have to if you don't want to."
The witch leaned to the side, showing the sympathetic look she had on her face. "Why wouldn't I wind you up? It's no trouble at all, and... I can't just let you pass out."
Lullaby slowly, heavily, shook its head. It wanted to be polite, to word itself delicately and reserve itself, but its clockwork was moving too slowly to stop it before it spoke. "No, please. It's a bother. This one doesn't do enough, it's not worth it."
Miss places a hand on its shoulder. "Oh, Lullaby, no, that's not true at all. You do just as much as you need to."
"It's not enough." The doll rested its elbows on its knees, leaning forward and cupping its face in its hands. "Miss is so nice, and this one just... takes it all in without giving enough back. It feels so useless, and pathetic, and... i-it just wants to be helpful." Its voice falters just at the end, hitching into a repressed sob.
Norae felt a pang in her heart that deepened with every word. Of course, she's been such an idiot. She feels like a bum when she doesn't keep herself busy, how would a being purpose-made to be helpful feel? It finally dawns on her, what the extent of a doll's inhumanity means.
"I'm so sorry, I... had no idea you felt that way." There's a sincere sorrow in her voice, the doll hearing Miss's confidence drop for the first time. "I never meant to hurt you, I just didn't want to be too hard on you."
She placed a hand on her doll's back, careful to leave room for its key to turn. "From now on, you get to do whatever you like. Cooking, cleaning, anything. I might still make you take some breaks so I can do something myself, but I'll never leave you with nothing to do."
Lullaby slowly, hopefully, lifts its head to look at Miss. "This one doesn't want to make you do anything you don't want, Miss, it can-"
"Lullaby, if you do everything you can to never feel like this again, you'll make me the happiest witch in the world." She put on a reassuring smile.
Norae didn't have time to see the grin widening on her doll's face before it latched on for a hug. All it could say was thank you as its tears left wet marks on the witch's dress.
"I'm just happy that you're happy." Miss hugged back, making the doll feel more loved than it could remember. "Now let's get you wound up, you've got some dishes to do."
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niki-phoria · 10 days ago
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everything I do, everything I do / 네 존재만으로
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(gn reader/684 words) a dare to play the pepero game with dino leads to a near kiss and unspoken feelings
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“y/n,” mingyu’s voice catches your attention. his fingers drum dramatically against the wooden table. the corner of his lips tug upwards into a smirk; something mischievous glints in his eyes. “truth or dare?”
“seriously?” you chuckle softly, shaking your head. ”we’re playing truth or dare?”
beside you, LEE CHAN playfully knocks his shoulder against your own. he stretches his arm out, lazily resting it across your shoulders. his head rolls against the back of the couch as he turns to face you. “come on,” he smiles brightly. “it’ll be fun.“
“fine.” you halfheartedly roll your eyes, letting out a dramatic sigh as you relent. games were a staple of house parties, after all. mingyu’s smirk has only grown when you meet his gaze once again. “dare.” 
“i dare you…” mingyu begins. he pauses for a moment, raising a hand to drum against his chin as he pretends to ponder. his eyes light up when he stops, gesturing to the man beside you. “to play the pepero game with chan.”
chan perks up immediately. his arm knocks against the back of your neck as he sits up straight, staring at mingyu with wide eyes. his body suddenly goes rigid as he glances between you and mingyu. “me?” he asks, pointing to himself. “why me?”
mingyu shrugs. he raises his can to his mouth, taking another sip. “why not?”
“you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” you say quietly. “i’m sure mingyu can think of something else-”
“no,” chan shakes his head, turning to face you. mingyu raises a knowing eyebrow at the quickness of his reply, but chooses to remain silent. “i’ll do it.” 
before you know it, jeonghan is passing you an unopened box of pepero. chan seems to glow in the moonlight. stray strands of hair frame his face. you have to resist the urge to reach up to brush one away. 
“you ready?” he asks. chan raises the cookie to his lips, tentatively holding it between his teeth. you stifle a chuckle beneath your breath. swallowing your hesitation, you slowly begin closing the distance. 
the taste of sweet chocolate and salt from the pretzel fills your mouth. reality sets in more and more with each bite. butterflies swarm throughout your stomach - impossible to ignore. chan remains completely still, silently watching as you grow closer and closer. 
almost instinctively, you raise a hand to rest against chan’s shoulder. you can feel the heat of his body through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. your eyes flutter shut. you block out the excited cheers of your friends, too focused on the overwhelming sound of your heart beating in your chest. 
your body tenses when chan shifts to hold your waist. his touch is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. his fingers curl into the fabric of your hoodie, keeping you steady, however unconsciously. 
your hand has moved to chan’s neck now. you’re almost cupping his face in your palms. you can feel warmth beneath his skin. you can almost picture the way his ears burn a bright shade of pink. he takes a shaky breath. you can feel it when he exhales. time moves impossibly slow. you could pull away now. you should. but you don’t want to. 
chan gasps softly. his grip around your waist tightens momentarily. the shock of his movement is enough to jerk you away. you stumble backwards slightly, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process. the piece of pepero now tumbles to the floor below. 
your racing heartbeat seemingly refuses to slow. your mind races. you had almost kissed chan. so why didn’t you want to pull away? heat floods your face as you turn away from chan, desperately clawing to maintain what’s left of your composure. 
“wow,” vernon chuckles, patting your shoulder. you barely register the feeling as you slowly return to consciousness. “i didn’t think you had it in you.” 
the chaos subsides within minutes. chan takes the opportunity to send a dare to mingyu in return. but when you hesitantly meet his gaze one again, you both know: everything has changed.
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notes: this is entirely inspired by zb1 playing the pepero game, thinking of writing a part two if people like this, please leave feedback if you enjoyed !! it means to much to me and it encourages me to keep writing here, not proofread, title from close your eyes - all my poetry
if you liked this fic, please comment, reblog, or leave feedback !! and if you want to support me, check out my seventeen masterlist <33
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s4nniebe4r · 2 months ago
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the roommate
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part two: growing pains
pairing: roommate! san x fem! reader
synopsis: learning to live with him, it’s proving to be difficult
wc: 1.4k
tags: slow burn, roommates, enemies to lovers, angst, forced proximity, eventual romance, a little suggestive content (if you squint hard enough) in this chapter
etc: part two for the series! i’m working on a masterlist as we speak! reblogging, leaving comments, and liking the story always encourages me to write more, so… as always, not proof-read!
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Living with San is truly an exercise in patience. 
It starts small. A jacket draped over the couch instead of hung up on the rack. A dirty coffee filled mug was left in the sink despite the dishwasher being right there. Water droplets on the bathroom counter that he wipes down. None of it is too much, but it’s enough to set yourself on edge. 
You tell yourself it’s fine. You’re an adult. You can handle minor inconveniences like these without losing your mind. 
Until the first time you find his damp towel on the floor. 
You stare at it for a long, hard moment, irritation bubbling and rising over in your chest. It’s such a simple thing—hang up your towel after you use it. But apparently, that’s just too much to ask for. With a sharp exhale, you pick it up and place it back on the rack, your movements are oh so rigid and stiff. 
The next morning, you find it on the floor yet again. 
San is in the kitchen when you walk out, casually scrolling through his phone while eating cereal straight from the box. His hair is a fluffed mess, sticking up at odd angles, and the sleeves of his hoodie are shoved up to his elbows. He looks comfortable, like he belongs in this space. Your space. It irks you in a way you can’t quite explain. 
You take in the scene—San standing there like he has all the time in the world, his gaze still fixed on his phone, completely oblivious to the mess he’s leaving behind. A small pile of crumbs litters the counter beside him, and the milk carton is still out, condensation pooling beneath it. Your fingers twitch ever so slightly. 
You glare at him, eyes burning, though, he doesn’t look up. 
You consider saying something Just a simple ‘Hey, could you hang up your towel?’ But the words are lodged in your throat, stuck somewhere between pride and annoyance. 
Instead, you slam the cabinet a little harder than necessary when you grab a mug for your morning tea. San’s chewing slows for half a second before resuming, but he still doesn’t acknowledge you. 
If this is what he wants, you can play along. 
And so, it begins. 
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It’s a series of minor assaults, neither of you willing to admit you’re knowingly doing it. 
You wipe down the bathroom counter with unnecessary force, scrubbing at the water rings he never bothers to clean. San walks in moments later and sets his toothbrush down right in a fresh puddle of water. Your eye twitches. 
You adjust the thermostat because it’s freezing, your body is always running cold. Later that night, you realize it’s been turned back down. 
Another time, San writes down on the mutual grocery list to pick up his favorite chocolate biscuits; Binch. You would, but they’re out of stock. When you get back, he barely glances at you before muttering, “Never mind.” 
You blink back at him. “Never mind what?”
“Nothing.”
But it’s not nothing. You know it’s not nothing. He’s fuming over it, his mood just a shade darker than usually. But if he’s not going to say anything, you certainly won’t either. 
Still, something gnaws at you. It wasn’t like you forgot on purpose—you actually went looking for them, scanning the shelves for an extra five minutes, even checking with an employee. But they were out. What were you supposed to do, conjure them out of thin air? You huff, tossing the bag of groceries onto the counter with more force than necessary, earning the smallest glance from San. If he cared so much, maybe he could have gotten them himself. 
You tell yourself you don’t care. But later, when you hear him sigh as he reaches into the pantry and grabs something else, something he obviously doesn’t want, irritation prickles beneath your skin. You clench your jaw and look away, as if ignoring him will make the frustration disappear. Yeah, right. 
The silence lingers, a thick unspoken challenge. You stare at each other a beat too long before turning away, the tension weaving itself into the very atmosphere between you. 
Two days later, you find the towel on the floor again. This time, you don’t pick it up. You just glare at it every time you walk past, willing it to disappear out of sheer frustration. 
And as the days go by, the apartment begins to feel smaller and smaller with all the unspoken tension. The walls seem to press in, like the walls keep adding a layer of paint, only further amplifying every little minor annoyance. The sink constantly has stray dishes, the coffee table in the living area is cluttered with San’s random belongings—headphones, a half-empty water bottle, a single sock he never bothers to pick up. Your already small living room, feeling even smaller. After all, it was just the TV and a single two seat couch. It’s chaos. And you can’t breathe in chaos. You never have been able to. 
At night, you can somehow hear him moving around in his room, the walls were not as thick as they seemed, you noted. The sound of the drawers opening, the soft creak of his bed as he shifts, you could almost make out the rustling of his sheets when the heater stopped humming. It annoys you more than it should, the sheer awareness of his presence making it impossible to fully relax. And yet, when the apartment falls silent again, you find yourself still awake, staring at the ceiling, listening. 
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The unspoken tension simmers beneath the surface, neither of you actually addressing it outright. Conversations are kept short, words clipped or laced with sarcasm. 
“San, do you actually plan on washing your dishes, or are they just for decoration to you?”
He barely looks up from his laptop. “I’m trying to conduct a long-term experiment. I’ll see how long they can stay in the sink before they clean themselves.”
You inhale sharply through your nose, bring the tips of your fingers up to pinch the bridge of it. “Fascinating.” 
He smirks. “I thought so.”
You leave the room before you say something you know you’ll regret. But the irritation follows you, clinging to your skin like static. Even when you’re not in the same room, you can feel his presence, lingering at the edges of your awareness, like a song stuck in a loop in your mind. It was deafening. 
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The worst part? It’s that you’re both acutely aware of each other in a way that has nothing to do with the irritation. It’s the way you notice when he walks out of the shower, his hair damp, towel slung low around his waist, his skin just glistening under the soft glow of the bathroom light. Your eyes linger for too long, you know this. Just a second too long, before you force yourself to look away. You try to be nonchalant, pretend you’re unfazed, but your breath hitches slightly, unconsciously, when you catch the way droplets trail down the ridges of his stomach before disappearing beneath the towel. You tear your gaze, cheeks warming with something you refuse to acknowledge.
And San, he isn’t blind either. 
It’s in the way his gaze flickers to you when you stretch in the morning, the hem of your shirt lifting slightly, exposing a sliver of skin. His jaw tightens before he returns to his phone like he saw nothing. But you notice the way his fingers pause on the screen, gripping a little tighter than he should, how he exhales before resuming whatever it was that he was pretending to be focused on. 
The way that the air feels thicker when you pass each other in the narrow hallways, shoulder nearly brushing, your breaths momentarily syncing before one of you steps aside. The slight pause before movement, as if you're both aware of the proximity, and maybe of the tiniest of heat that lingers between you. 
Stolen glances that neither of you fully acknowledge. The way your stomach tightens when he murmurs something under his breath that you’re not sure you were supposed to hear. The moments where annoyance and something else blur together, tangled into something, almost dangerous. 
The tension stretches thin, taut like a wire ready to snap, but neither of you makes a move to cut it. Because neither of you will admit to it. 
But it’s there. Waiting. 
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sleepymarimo · 10 months ago
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A TAMA...WHAT? - TOJI FUSHIGURO
"toji. if anything happens to my tamagotchi while i'm gone, i'm actually never talking to you again."
"...huh?"
: ̗̀➛ 1.2k cw: none! silly goofy fun, tamagotchi death :'(
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the sorcerer killer isn't sure what to do with the small device in his hand, which looks a little too colorful for his liking. too flashy. when you'd called him a few hours ago to tell him you needed a favor, he didn't expect to be a damn babysitter to a pixelated pet for a whole week.
he would've declined, maybe suggest a "compromise", but you seemed a little too serious about your threat of not speaking to him ever again.
and, despite his best effort to maintain a nonchalant front, he knew that he wasn't going to take that risk.
you'd let him stay at your place, a nice perk, so now he lays back on your couch and fiddles with the buttons while watching the small pet eat or play or even work. how does this thing have more of a stable life than he does?
lips set into a focued pout, those big digits of his nearly crush the poor buttons into dust. "the hell do you want now?" he growls, having just set down the device to watch a boat race on t.v.
toji's never been intimidated by new jobs, by thinking outside the box, but at this moment he'd rather be taking on a horde of curses.
yet... he kind of gets the hang of it. maybe a little too much.
by day three of his tamagotchi journey, he feels pretty confident about taking care of the pet. pride surges through his veins when he checks all the stats and sees no issue, the tamagotchi thriving under his care.
he becomes a little too obsessed with the toy sometimes.
shiu, on a call with the assassin, finds himself having to pause when he swears he hears this constant beeping in the background.
"fushiguro-"
"just hold on," toji interrupts, the phone resting on the table while he works on the tamagotchi. "this thing is sick as shit. i gotta give it medicine."
the mediator isn't even sure what to say at that, a part of him wondering if his mind is playing tricks on him. "i thought you were just going to get her a new one. you're still keeping up with that thing?" shiu asks into the receiver, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear as he reaches for a cigarette and lighter.
another few beeps can be heard through the phone, then a relieved sigh. "fuck no. and m'not 'keeping up'," toji specifies, almost offended. "m'owning this piece of crap. it's easy work."
on the other end of the phone, shiu finds solace in a deep inhale of cigarette smoke. luckily, he's able to get toji on a pretty good gig with the promise of outstanding pay.
even during the meeting a couple days later, the sorcerer killer is brushing off high end clients as soon as he hears that damn beeping. "gimme a minute," he gruffly says, before mumbling in a more hushed tone. "s'fucking needy..."
raising one hand as if he's putting a simple pause on the conversation, he uses the other to click click click until he deems the virtual pet satisfied.
meanwhile, shiu is embarrassed as hell and makes an effort not to look the client in the eyes.
content enough, toji places the tamagotchi back in his pocket with a gentleness that he doesn't usually, if ever, displays. "a'right. so how much are ya paying again?"
...
by the time you arrive home a day later, exhausted from a flight and too many train rides, you're ready to be reunited with your virtual companion.
"okay toji," you call out, the door shutting behind you with a click. "where's mimitchi?"
you hear his heavy steps before you see him, his frame rather... rigid. "well hey to you too," he greets, stopping just before you and giving your form a quick once over. "and who the hell is mimitchi?"
sighing, you give him a proper hello before looking at him a little suspiciously. "that's the tamagotchi. mimitchi is her name," you explain, starting to tap your foot. where was it? "so...?"
his eyes momentarily widen, like he's genuinely surprised. "huh? it's a girl? and that's her name? what the hell..."
while it's a funny sight, you don't stop giving him that pointed look. your arms even cross, indicating that you really weren't in the mood.
toji scoffs at your little display, shrugging his shoulders. "i lost it," he replies. "must've fell out of my pocket or something..."
your heart drops. "you what? seriously? toji!" a pout settles on your lips, sincere disappointment written all over your features.
does he feel bad? yes, he does. with a sigh, he steps closer and wraps his arm around you, placing it on your lower back. he's shitty with words, but he knows how to ground you.
"look, sweetheart, i'll get you another one," he starts, his words making your heart feel a little more light. "tomorrow we can-"
breep! beep beep beep!
breep! beep beep beep!
while you freeze, toji's hand goes straight to his pocket. "shit, i thought it fucking silenced it."
jaw dropping, you look up at him as if he's just stabbed you in the back. hell, he might as well have!
"are you serious?" you chuff, not believing his audacity. your hand reaches for his pocket, but he's quick to pull out the tamagotchi and hold it out of your reach. "oh, you asshole! i can't believe you."
caught in the act, he allows himself to scowl just the smallest bit. "y'the one who left her," he points out, as if he has a say in how to be a present parent. "i'm just stepping up."
your offended gasp triggers a chuckle from him. reaching for the tamagotchi again, you whine when he moves it even further from you.
the back and forth lasts for a while, until a truce is made.
sitting on the couch, you hold the device and check up on mimitchi, who seems to actually be in pretty good condition. you're thoroughly impressed, even letting him know so.
"you're still a jerk for lying," you point out, sure that you weren't going to drop that anytime soon. he just shrugs, acknowledging his wrongs but not really apologizing, as per his usual style.
however, seeing that your beloved mimitchi is already retired and aging... you decide to let him have her. if he wanted the full tamagotchi experience, he was going to get it.
so, while he smugly pockets the toy once more, you just wait.
that moment comes a whole two days later, the day starting off just like any other. in your room, the morning light barely shining through your window, you wake in time to hear those dreaded sounds that no tamagotchi owner wants to hear.
beep...beep...beep...
then, you hear toji abruptly sitting up on the couch, pushing buttons left and right. "not a fucking chance..." he mumbles, surely not expecting a cute toy to have such an abrupt end.
you can only muffle your laughs as he stands, those heavy steps of his coming straight for your door to demand an explanation.
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an: lol this idea came into my mind and i just had to get it out. hope you enjoyed bc i kinda laughed writing it:')
562 notes · View notes
enha-stars · 1 year ago
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✧ let me take care of you
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pairing: soft!jake x reader (angst, smut, fluff)
summary: after years of feeling unloved, you now have jake and he loves you so much and he's not afraid to prove it
warnings: shitty parents, crying, feeling insecure, minor angst, kissing, oral (f rec), unprotected sex (don't), hair pulling, jake being in love, mdni
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you stare at the picture frame in your hand with apprehensive eyes, gripping the old wood so hard that your palm begins to sweat. you thought you had tossed it years ago, but a small, childish part of you knew that you hadn’t. 
you swallowed the lump in your throat as your thumb gently grazed the glass, wiping the smudge off your mother’s blank face. setting the rest of the box down, you sank to the floor, still clutching the picture frame close to your heart. 
pulling your sleeve over your palm, you wipe the dust off the frame and gaze at your parent’s faces. they stare back at you with little emotion, uptight smiles and thoughtless eyes. your eyes flicker down to the little girl seated between them and your frown deepens. you almost don’t recognize yourself, the tight smile and sad eyes. 
unconsciously, you raise your hand to your own, real face and brush your lips, fingers grazing your cheeks. your skin is the same as it’s always been, but you can recognize the ridges and bumps on your face. your heart settles a bit, knowing that the little girl in the photo learns to stretch her muscles and that she moves on. 
you drop your hand and bite the inside of your cheek, a sudden wave of emotions crashing into you. that isn’t true, is it? because even though it’s been years since you’ve seen your parents, you still feel like the little girl from the photo. you know that sometimes, your smile isn’t as bright as it can be and you can’t help but glance over your shoulder. 
you glance down at the promise ring on your finger and quickly drop the photograph into your lap. you don’t want any part of the photo to touch the ring, it being so pure and lovely. it didn’t deserve to be tainted any more than it already was. 
this is how jake finds you, sitting on the floor of the storage room with a single photograph in your lap. he pokes his head into the room and he instantly smiles at the sight of you, eyes softening. he steps into the room and notices your rigid shoulders and the way your entire body is trembling. his smile drops and he scans the room, eyes falling on the damaged box beside you. 
“there you are, darling.” he pays attention to the way you jump, startled by him. he frowns, bending down to match eye level with you. “what’re you doing, y/n? what’s that?” 
his eyes fall to the picture frame in your lap and you immediately hold it close to your chest, hiding it from him. “it’s nothing, yuni.” 
you look up jake and his heart sinks at the look on your face; your slightly glassy eyes and furrowed eyebrows, lip pulled between your teeth. he moves closer to you, eyes filled with concern as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. 
“what’s wrong, darling?” he cups your jaw and rubs the part of your skin you had touched earlier. it’s enough to make you drop your gaze, hoping the treacherous tears that gathered wouldn’t fall. 
you want to hide the picture frame, but you know it’s pointless. instead, you just tilt it away from you and watch as jake’s eyes glance down. his eyebrows furrow and you watch as his features harden. it makes you feel a bit better, knowing the picture affected him just as it had you. 
gently, he picks the frame out of your lap and stares at it, staring at your parent’s blank faces. he hasn’t seen this photo in a long time and he can’t say he missed it. jake knew of your parents, knew of the trauma they caused; the years of neglect that had turned into indifference. he hated them, more than he ever hated anyone. 
he wants to smash the frame into bits, but he notices the way your bottom lip wobbles and the slight tremble of your shoulders, and instead, he simply puts the photo back in the box. he closes the flaps and pushes the box back into the depths of the room, moving it far away from you.
you watch with heavy eyes, a sudden feeling of gratitude as he puts a good distance between your frozen parents and yourself. he frowns at the direction of the box before his eyes travel to you and they soften, a small smile on his plush lips. 
he cups your cheek and grazes his thumb under your eye before he stands up. you stare up at him from the floor and he extends his hands to you, a tender smile on his lips. “come on, darling. it’s time for dinner.” 
hesitantly, you slip your hands into his and he firmly tugs you up, making sure you don’t have to use an ounce of strength. you jolt up and he laughs at your bewildered expression, a soft crinkle in his eyes. your heart feels heavy, but you smile at the sound of his laughter anyways. it’s always been one of your favourite sounds. 
you stare at each other for a few seconds. you try to hide the sudden sadness in your chest, the overwhelming feeling of being too much and being too unloveable has begun to build a home within your heart. jake can see it, no matter how hard you try to push it down. he sees it in your eyes, the way the light in them has suddenly dimmed. he feels it in the lightness of your touch, the way your skin hovers over his.
he hates it; hates that even now, your parents have the ability to dig through barely mended cracks and settle between your bones. he hates that you doubt yourself, doubt your ability to be loved and cherished. if you could see how much love he holds for you, you’d never question it again. 
he squeezes your hands once before he drops one and laces your fingers together, pulling you out of the storage room and back upstairs, hoping the change of scenery would also change your mood. you simply follow behind him, knowing you’d follow him anywhere. 
jake brings you to the family room and you both smile and layla’s soft yawn, waking up at the smell of both of you. he guides you to the sofa and you fall back, sinking into the soft brown material as layla nuzzles her head into your thigh. you grin at the dog and scratch behind her ear, breathing deeply as your heart begins to quietly settle. 
jake stares at you and layla with a soft smile, his two favourite girls. you glance at him and almost frown at the gentleness in his eyes. your lips quirk upwards and he grins, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. he pats layla’s head and stretches. 
“you sit here and watch something, i’m just going to finish up dinner.” 
you instantly shake your head and try to stand up, but jake stands right in front of you, his legs pressing into your knees. “jae,” you frown. “let me help you.” 
jake shakes his head and crosses his arms. “no. i want to make you dinner.” he doesn’t want to leave you with your thoughts, but he also wants to take care of you. he just wants you to be full and happy. 
“i want to help, though.” usually, you don’t mind it when jake cooks for you. but the picture brought up past insecurities, ruining your perception of everything. you didn’t deserve jake, nor his effort. he shouldn’t waste his time making you dinner. “why don’t you sit with layla and i’ll cook.” 
jake uncrosses his arms and cups your face with both hands, tilting your head up. he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your nose, and then your forehead. “you can cook tomorrow, darling. besides,” he brushes his nose against yours, “layla likes you better.” 
a small smile spreads across your face and it makes jake’s heart beat faster. no matter how many times he saw it, it would always make him flush. you had the prettiest smile and he wanted it tattooed on his chest. 
jake leaves you in the family room and rolls his sleeves up as he turns on the stove. thankfully, he had finished the majority of dinner earlier, when you were downstairs cleaning. he smiles briefly when he hears the familiar tune of your favourite show’s theme song, happy you listened to him. 
he works quietly around the kitchen, grabbing different spices and mixing different things as he thinks about you. it had taken you a long time, but you slowly healed from all the suffering. it didn’t mean that it didn’t still affect you. jake knew it did. he knew that some mornings, you woke up feeling like you didn’t deserve any of it. sometimes, he’d catch you looking at him with so much longing and pity and it made him sick. 
you were everything to him. everything. he had never met anyone more deserving of love; you deserve only the good, most purest parts of life. some nights, he’d dream about handing you the world and begging you to do as you please. 
regardless of what you thought, he didn’t hate it when you got like this; when the days felt darker and the grass felt dull. he knew that this was normal, that everyone had better days and not some good days. he only hated that he couldn’t take on the burden and sadness himself. 
if someone had to feel it, he rather it be him. 
your eyes lazily stare at the television as your rub layla’s stomach, smiling every time she grunts out of content. your eyes are on the characters in front of you but your mind is far away. you try not to focus on the noise and smell coming from the kitchen because you might lose your mind if you do. 
you don’t deserve jake; not even in the slightest. you had been pretending for far too long but seeing your parent’s faces, their hollow eyes and empty smiles reminded you of your place. if your own parents couldn’t love you, what made you think that jake could? what made you think that you deserved his love?
you bite back a sob, hating that two very familiar, sinister voices argue back and forth in your mind. here you were, sitting comfortably on the couch while jake cooked you dinner. what was wrong with you? you stopped rubbing layla’s stomach and she lifted her head, nudging your arm with her nose. 
you sunk further into the sofa, trying to block out the negative thoughts. you hated that one look at your parents unravelled all your past effort. you have been so good recently, happy and satisfied. but now, you weren’t so sure. how could jake be happy with you? 
after almost thirty minutes, jake walked into the family room, holding a tray with one large bowl of pasta and two glasses of juice. he smiled at you when you reached over and grabbed the small table from beside the wall, setting it in front of you. 
jake set the tray down and you inhaled, smiling up at him because of the aroma. it smelled amazing and looked delicious. your eyes narrowed at the single bowl and you raised an eyebrow at him. he grinned at you before plopping down right beside you.
after fixing his position beside you and throwing an arm around you, he picked up the bowl and set it on his lap. he ignored your questioning eyes and spun some pasta onto the fork before bringing it to your lips. your eyes slightly widened and he smiled softly at you, eyes crinkling. 
“say ah, darling.” 
confused, you parted your lips and let jake feed you. you chewed slowly as you watched him shove a fork full in his mouth, eyes drifting to the television. you swallowed and hummed in appreciation. the pasta was really good. 
jake brought another bite to your lips and smiled encouragingly at you when you opened your mouth for him. “atta girl,” he whispers softly, proud of you. he sets the fork back in the bowl and uses his thumb to wipe some sauce off the corner of your lips, bringing it to his lips. 
your heart feels heavier in your chest at his actions, a sudden urge to cry overwhelming you. you knew what he was doing; you finally understood it. you never really could hide it from him, and he was never good at being subtle either. this was his way of taking care of you, of making sure that you didn’t lose yourself to your head. 
he reaches out and grabs the cup of juice before bringing it to your lips, nodding at you encouragingly as you tilt your head for him, letting the cold, sweet liquid wash everything down. he smiles and drinks from the exact place you had. 
jake kept his eyes on the show as he fed you and himself, his arm keeping you warm and close. you tried not to make a sound as tears gathered in your eyes with every bite, a conflicting feeling filling your head. you didn’t deserve this; didn’t deserve jake’s softness or his love. 
swallowing, you turned your head and swept your gaze over his face; the soft ridges and dips you loved. gingerly, you brought your hand up to his face and brushed the back of your fingers against his cheek. without thinking, jake leaned into your touch and you almost sobbed. 
he turned his head slightly and frowned at the look in your eyes. while your eyes were wide, glassy, and filled with love, your lips wobbled and your shoulders were stiff. 
“what is it, darling?” his words are so quiet, whispered against your fingers. it breaks your heart. 
you wet your lips. “i think… i think you deserve better, jaeyun. i’m a lot to handle and you shouldn’t have to take care of me like this.” 
jake stares at you, his eyes widening and narrowing with each word. he sets the bowl of pasta down and turns to full face you, legs touching. his arm is still around you and he shuffles closer, until your bent leg is almost in his lap. he grabs your hand and laces your fingers together, bringing your hand to his lips. he kisses the back of your hand softly before looking back at you.
there are tears in your eyes and he wants to kiss them dry. 
he inhales a deep breath and rubs circles into your skin. “y/n, my darling.” he squeezes your hand and you look up at him, eyes wide. “you are not a lot to handle. you’re perfect for me, don’t you understand?” he glanced down at your intertwined fingers. “i don’t deserve better. i deserve you. i only want you. i’ve only ever wanted you.” 
you shake your head and try to pull your hand out of jake’s but his grip is too strong. he looks up at you and your heart drops at the sight of his misty eyes. “i want to take care of you, darling. let me take care of you.” he kisses your hand again. “you’re not too much, y/n. you never have been and never will be.” 
everything around you feels quiet as you absorb his words. you’ve heard them before, mainly from him, but they never get easier to believe. you’re more angry at yourself for letting the insecurities get to you. “doesn’t it get annoying, though? having to deal with me like this?” 
“oh, darling,” he breathes out. gently, he pulls you closer to him until you fall into his lap, legs on either side of him. his hands immediately fall on your lap and yours on his shoulders. he looks up at you with wide, shiny eyes and you brush his dark locks out of his eyes. at your movement, layla jumps off the couch and scurries off. 
“i wish you knew how much i loved you, darling.” he squeezed your waist and his head fell forward, landing on your chest. he breathed in your scent and your hands traveled from his shoulders to his hair. “it’s not annoying, pretty baby. you are not annoying. i’m not dealing with you, i’m with you. i love you. i love you with all my heart.” 
you let his words sink into your head, becoming a mantra. you shut your eyes as his hands travel the length of your back, slipping under your shirt. he pushes you into him, until you’re flush against him and then he presses a soft kiss to your neck. 
“you are so loveable, darling. you know that?” he looks up at you as his lips brush against your jaw. “you deserve this; all the love i have is for you.” 
you bite your bottom lip as a sob threatens to escape. instantly, jake hugs you tightly and rubs your back, his nails scraping the surface of your skin. you shudder into his body as a few tears escape your eyes, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. he whispers sweet nothings to you as he presses soft, open mouthed kisses on your shoulder and neck. 
you sit like this for a while, jake hugging you tightly as you silently cry into his shoulder. the sight of your parents had opened an old wound but jake’s strong hold and sweet words tried their best to close it, reminding you that even though they couldn’t, he loved you. 
after a bit, jake moved his head back and you followed. you both stared at each other, eyes shining. his lips turn upwards and you can’t help but smile at him. he wipes the tears that spilled from your eyes and pulls your face to his, pressing his lips softly against yours. it’s a gentle kiss, just two lips pressed together, but it’s enough to make your eyes roll back.
he pulls away too quickly and your lips follow his, capturing them in another kiss. jake laughs against your lips, hands flat on your back. you slip your tongue into his mouth, softly grazing his teeth. the kiss is passionate and wet, and jake loves it. he knows you’re trying to convey your feelings through it, and he accepts it. 
you needed to kiss him, to pour your gratitude and love into it. his words and reassurance had built a home in your heart and you knew that he was right. you only wished he knew that you loved him as much as he loved you, if not more. 
you pull away from him and pant into his mouth, eyes still shut. jake is mesmerized by the string of saliva that connects your lips and he sticks his tongue out and traces your bottom lip. you open your eyes at the feeling of his tongue on your lip and you shift on his lap, inner thigh brushing against his bulge. 
you both hiss at the feeling and you arch into him, a turmoil in your heart and body that only he can soothe. jake’s eyes are blown wide and his lips are swollen. there’s nothing but fondness shining in his eyes and you know he can see the love in yours. 
“can i show you how much i love you, darling? let me take care of you.” he presses his thumb into your bottom lip and you kiss it. “will you let me?”
you nod and it’s all he needs. his hands travel from your back to your lower thighs and he lifts himself off the sofa, holding you close as you wrap your legs around his waist. as he walks to your bedroom, you press soft kisses all over his neck and face. 
he kicks the door open and walks further into your room, gently dropping you on your back as he falls with you, still captured between your legs. you giggle when he groans and he brushes his nose against yours, glad to hear your laugh. 
“graceful as ever, yuni,” you tease, sparkles returning to your eyes. 
“always am, darling.” he puffs his chest as he stands straight, pulling his shirt off. your laughter dies on your tongue at the sight of him. it doesn’t matter how many times you see him, how many times you lay with him, the sight of his bare chest will always make you speechless. 
jake tilts his head at your silence and raises an eyebrow. “what is it?” you mumble something and jake leans forward, arm on either side of your head. “what was that, darling?” 
you roll your eyes and frown. “you’re so handsome.” 
jake laughs at your deadpan tone and kisses your forehead. “you sound so upset about it.” 
shaking your head, you rest your hand on his heart before letting your fingers drag down his abdomen, rubbing his hard chest and abs. “‘m not, just in awe.” 
jake leans down and kisses your eyelids before he grinds his hips into yours, smiling in satisfaction when your eyes flutter shut. he lines his clothed dick with your pussy and presses down, grinning when you reach for him. “you know my body belongs to you, don’t you?” he trails his nose down to your neck and kisses below your ear. “now, let this body show you how much you mean to me.” 
you find yourself nodding and jake smiles. he strips you slowly, grinning whenever you huffed in annoyance. he was glad that even though your heart might still feel a bit heavy, that right here, as you lay beneath him, your giggles were breathy and your eyes shined. 
jake stares down at your naked body and bites his bottom lip, eyes darker than ever. “fuck, darling. look at you,” he practically whines. “such a pretty girl.” he kisses you passionately, completely devouring you. you tug at his hair, swallowing his harsh breath. 
he pulls away and moves down your body, kissing and licking your collarbones and breasts. you breathe out his name when he flicks his tongue against one of your nipples before sucking on it. his hands are on either side of you as he cages you in, alternating between both breasts. 
he moves down, pepping kisses to your stomach. your body begins to shake and jake looks up just in time to watch your eyes crinkle as laughter bubbles out of you, a bright smile on your face. he’s staring with wide eyes, unable to breathe. 
“it tickles,” you shrug. 
“i love you,” he breathes. 
you poke your cheek with your tongue and let all the negativity dissipate from your chest at the sincerity in his voice. “i love you too, yuni.” 
“no, y/n,” he lifts his head a bit. “i really love you.” his eyes are almost pleading. “smile for me again.” 
you grin at his ridiculous words and he drops his chin on your stomach, looking at you with bright, burning eyes. you massage his head as you stare back at him, quite used to his staring. it made you feel wanted, loved, and you would never tell him to stop. 
eventually, he came back to his senses and kissed the skin near your belly button before he spread your legs further apart, kissing your hip bone. your legs trembled as jake grinned at your pulsing pussy. “so wet already,” he noted. 
you didn’t have enough time to say anything before he buries his face in between your thighs, pressing a soft kiss right on your clit. your head falls back as he inhales, mumbling into you. 
“this pussy was made just for me,” he licks softly. “made to be taken care of by me, by my tongue.” he pushes his tongue into you and you moan at the feeling, griping his hair. he hums as he licks and swallows and your legs tremble. 
jake sucks on your clit, pushing his tongue in and out of you as he swallows everything you offer him. you whimper when he presses his face further into your pussy, his nose grazing your folds. 
“fuck,” you pant. “yuni.” 
“that’s it,” he mumbles. “tastes so good.” 
you shut your eyes as you arch your back, trying to close your legs around his head. jake glances up at your expression and he knows you’re close. he laps up all your juices and holds your thighs in place when the pleasure got to be too much and you sobbed out his name. 
“good girl,” he encourages as you cum all over his face. he sucks and continues pushing his tongue deep within you. “cum for me, my precious darling.” your grip on his hair is tight but he loves it. 
he whispers quiet praises into your pussy as you cum. “the prettiest girl, cumming so well.” once he’s swallowed everything, he kisses your clit and licks it once when it clenches around nothing. he looks up at your fucked out expression and he can’t help but coo at you. 
“did so well for me, darling.” he moves up the bed, pressing soft kisses up your body. impatient, you grab his face and crash his lips against yours. you moan into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue and he sucks your tongue.
“think you’re ready for me?” he asks against your lips.
you nod, too fucked out to think properly. “yes,” you mumble. “fuck me, yuni.” you open your eyes and stare into his dark ones. “show me how much you love me.”
jake kisses you again as he lines himself with your entrance and slowly pushes in, your cum and slick making it easy for him. he hisses as your pussy sucks him in and you gasp at the stretch. he whimpers as he bottoms out, your arms around his shoulders as his cock fills you up. 
“move, yuni,” you beg, needing more friction. “please.”
jake lifts his head from your neck and kisses your cheek before he shifts his body weight and slowly pushes your legs upwards until your knees press against your chest and your ankles are thrown over his shoulders. 
without warning, jake begins fucking into you, pushing his pelvis against yours. you moan out his name as his dick pushes deep within you, reaching parts of you he had claimed for himself. 
he rocks his hips back and forth as he fucks you, eyes blurry as you mewl out incoherent words. you look so pretty like this, legs pushed up as he fucks into you. he’s so in love with you and he hopes you never feel bad about yourself, but he doesn’t mind fucking it out of you either. 
“taking me so well, darling,” he pants, gripping your thighs. “love this pussy so much,” he babbles. “never want you to be so hard on yourself, but i’ll fuck it out of you.” he presses his forhead against yours. “i’ll fuck it out of you every time, don’t worry. i’ll take such good care of you.” 
jake’s slightly losing his mind as he fucks you, his hips slamming into yours as your ankles dig into his shoulder. he doesn’t even notice the pain, too focused on your warm and gushing pussy. 
at his words, you sob out his name and squeeze around him and jake unravels. “cum for me, pretty. let go, let me have it all.” 
you sniffle. “i’m cumming,” you whimper. “yuni, i’m– please.” 
jake fucks you harder, making the bed rock beneath you. he breathes the same air as you as he pants, sweat coating his back. “cum,” he whispers. your back arches off the bed and he sucks on your neck as he feels your cum soak his dick. his cock twitches and he lets go, fucking his cum into you. 
you continue to cum until you’re breathless and jake is no better, giving you everything he has. you pull at his hair when you begin to feel overstimulated but jake doesn’t care, he continues to rock his hips into you, fucking both of your cum into your pussy. he’s almost in tears. 
“jaeyun,” you beg. “please. too much.” 
Jake slows his pace and lets his muscles relax. his grip on your thighs loosens and he kisses your forehead as he gently places your legs back on the bed. he tries to pull out of you but you grab his chain, keeping him in place. 
the slight burn makes him whimper and the look in your eyes is so wild and soft that when you smile, he swears he could cum again. 
“keep taking care of me, yuni.” 
jake presses his lips against yours softly and shifts closer to you, his dick still inside your warm pussy. “i plan on it, darling.” 
he smiles at you and promises himself that by the end of the week, you’ll have replaced your promise ring with an actual one.
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treatmelikeasmut · 6 days ago
Text
This Journey of Ours
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MASTERLIST
PAIRING: Viktor x AFAB!Reader//Modern!AU
CW: Pregnancy, fluff, passing mention of postpartum
WORD COUNT: 1.7k
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Kind of wrote this on a whim. Just something small and cute that came to mind!
Don't forget to like, comment, and reblog your favorite fics <3
__
You stared at the clock, then at the time on your cellphone. Both read 11:48 PM. Of all the days for Viktor to stay late at the lab, it had to be today. Your knee bounced rapidly, impatiently. Gaze lingering on the TV, though you had no idea what was playing. Some show you swore for ages you’d get around to watching and never did. Now the volume was so low it was barely a hum. It joined the anxiety buzzing in the back of your skull.
Once again, you looked down at the object in your lap.
POSITIVE stared back at you. As it had for the last two days. No matter how many times you put the test down or hid it away in a box, that word remained. For two days nerves wrapped you in nausea, or maybe that was just the morning sickness talking. You were pregnant. The reality hardly set in. It just couldn’t seem to sink into your brain with any form of permenace. You were growing an entirely newly life that hadn’t existed before. That grew from two microscopic halves and would eventually become a whole new being.
You checked the clock again, then your cell phone. 11:53 PM. You had texted Jayce that morning, asking for him to muscle Viktor out of the lab early. You didn’t tell him a reason, only that you wanted your husband home before midnight. He had replied that it would be easy. Given the hour, it appeared it hadn’t been.
Chewing the inside of your lip, you looked at the test again. POSITIVE was still there. What would Viktor think? Children were a subject that was danced around in your household. The stance on it should’ve been made clear before your marriage. But was never established.
11:57 PM - the sound of a key being jammed into the front door lock. It was still three minutes to midnight, Jayce got lucky this time. A muttered curse came from the entry way. Then the uneven gait of Viktor’s footsteps as he came down the hall. They stopped at the entrance to the living room.
“Love, you’re still awake,” Viktor observed. He came up behind the couch, kissing the top of your head. “It’s late, you need your rest.”
“I like to stay up and wait for you,” you told him, praying your voice was steady.
“You don’t have to do that.” He came around and sat on the couch, leaning his cane against the arm. He looked at you with that smug expression you loved. “Though, I will admit - coming home and seeing you so immediately after a long day is my favorite.”
You smiled briefly, and Viktor’s expression changed. The test was pressed between your thighs, keeping it from sight. It was a hard rigid against the soft flesh that grew more uncomfortable the longer he stared at you. Your husband was sharp as ever, even as tired as he was. You never could keep anything away from that sharp gaze.
“Something is wrong,” Viktor stated, eyes searching. His hand sought yours, holding in on the cushion between you. “What is it?”
You drew in a shaking breath, staring down at your woven fingers. Your heart was in your throat, clawing at your ribs. You were sick with it. Even the tips of your ears burned.
“What…” you started. “What do you think about kids?”
Viktor sucked in a sharp breath, stilling in his seat. His fingers clamped aorund yours a little harder. “In general? Or…as in us?”
You swallowed, mouth tacky. “Us.”
“I…well, I -” He couldn’t seem to find the words, gaze wandering to the TV. The grinding of the gears in his mind almost audible. He muttered something under his breath. Then said, “I thought I had the count wrong. But I did not.”
You knew Viktor tracked your menstral cycles. It was even on a calendar on your fridge. He must’ve been doing the math in his head. Even being semi-irregular, your period exceedingly late.
“You’re pregnant,” he stated, turning back to you.
There was no doubt in his face. He was as sure about this as if he’d told you the sky was blue. In response, you pulled out the test. It still said POSITIVE. He took it from you with a shaking hand. Viktor was quiet for a long time, just staring at the digital screen. Like he was daring it to change its mind. You knew it wouldn’t.
“I know we didn’t talk about it before,” you admitted. “We should’ve…so, what do you think?”
Viktor didn’t move, replying sensibly, “That we will call the OB in the morning to set up and ultrasound and ensure all is well.”
You nodded. “And…other than that? I’d like to know what’s going on in Husbandland right now.”
Viktor’s eyes bounced to you, holding your gaze for but a moment, before they turned back to the test. “Do you think we are ready?”
“They say you’re never really ready for kids.”
Viktor’s mouth pressed into a flat line. “If I ask something, will you be truthful, my love?’
You squeezed the hand you were holding. “Always.”
“Will I be a terrible father? You know I never -” He cut himself off at the thought.
“I think the fact you’re nervous about it means you’re already a good one.”
The corner of his lip twitched, but his face remained blank. “I always figured if it was meant for me, then children would come. If it was not, then I would be fine with that too. - The same as before I met you. I thought that if love was meant for me, then it would find me. If I was to remain alone, then I would reconcile with that as well. Yet we are married and this test tells me that a little one will come. There is a surprising amount of fear in that.”
“I think you’re going to do great.” You scooted across the couch until your legs touched. Then leaned your head against his shoulder, your folded hands resting on your thigh. You stared at the test with him now. The only sounds in the room the murmur of the TV and the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“Jayce will be stupid excited,” Viktor finally uttered. Louder, he asked, “But what about work? Long nights in the lab cannot be avoided forever. They will happen. You will be alone.”
You shrugged. “We’ll figure it out when the time comes.”
“That is not fair you.”
“It’s what happens when I have a brilliant scientist as a husband.”
Viktor hummed. “I will need to do better…”
“You and I will figure it out down the line.” You squeezed his hand again.
Viktor’s cane clattered loudly as it slipped from its resting place. You both flinched. Viktor stared at it. “I will not be able to run with them. To do many things other fathers can.”
“Viktor,” you cooed, coaxing him to look at you. Panic was leaking through a careful mask. His eyes were wide, breathing a bit more rapid. You took his face in your hands, he leaned into the touch. “Our kid isn’t going to care about the stuff you can’t do. But they’ll always remember the things you can.”
“Like what?”
You leaned in a kissed him chastly. “Like vinegar and baking soda volcanos, and showing up to their games if they’re in sports, reading to them before bed - that sort of thing. They’ll just want time with you, how ever you can. - I’m also scared. What if I mess up? What if they don’t think I’m someone they can trust and come to when they get older? What if I accidentally feed them something they’re allergic to? I’m terrified of getting postpartum and doing something heinous.”
“I have no doubt you will as wonderful a parent as you are a partner. Whatever you need, I will do my best to accommodate.” Viktor cupped your cheek in one hand, running his thumb lightly across your skin. “I let you down enough as it stands. I don’t want to let the little one down, too.”
“You never let me down,” you whispered, a clot building in your throat. You swallowed against it. You were not going to cry right now. “You’ve frustrated me, sure - but never let me down.”
Viktor chuckled, the panic finally easing up. His eyes wandered back to the test. “So, it’s real and truly.”
You nodded. “I peed on two boxes worth of tests in the last three days, it was like Juno in here. They’re all stashed in a shopping bag under the bathroom sink if you want to see them.”
“That’s a bit overkill, don’t you think?” he teased, smirking.
Warm relief flodded through you, all your muscles relaxed for the first time in days. You laughed, shrugging. “Maybe - I wanted to be sure. Really sure before I told you. It’s like one of your experiments, right? You have to be sure you can replicate your results before you announce your findings.”
Viktor laughed rather heartily at that. “I suppose.”
“I’ll call the OB in the morning.”
Viktor nodded. “And I will make a list of questions for her. I have much to learn.”
“I’ll have to warn them when I make the appointment,” you joked, rolling your eyes. “You’re going to go overboard on research, aren’t you?”
“I would never dream of it,” scoffed Viktor, “I just want to make sure we are prepared. There is nothing wrong with that.”
You kissed him again. “Just make sure to enjoy the journey, too.”
Tentatively, Viktor placed a hand on your stomach, gently rubbing it through your shirt. You didn’t have a bump yet, but he seemed mesmerized all the same. He leaned his forehead to yours, then pressed a kiss to your lips.
“As long as the journey is by your side.”
~
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