#right now hes just confirmed a festival performance but... come on hes pretty much said hes gonna do some solo shows

[straighttohellbuddy]

me, vibrating from holding in my excitement: anyone else having Normal feelings about trilingual YouTuber James Marriott performing in Australia???

[yoshyushi]

20240514 Beijing Youth Interview

From 【Creation of the Gods】 to 【To the Wonder】, Yu Shi: Popularity isn't pressure, it's motivation

​​Actor Yu Shi is an idealist. In his recent exclusive interview with Beijing Youth's reporter, his confidence, maturity and sincerity seem to be reflected through the clear gaze in his eyes as he looks forward in his acting career. "The roles that I wish to be known for can't just be Ji Fa (T/N: leading role in 【Creation fo the Gods】). I want to leave behind many memorable characters and Batay is one of them."

Mini-series 【To the Wonder】 was exclusively broadcasted on iQiyi on 7th May and at the same time, entered CCTV golden primetime broadcast. The whip-wielding grassland boy on horseback Batay that Yu Shi plays in the drama brings forth a clear natural vibrance, blending with the majestically beautiful landscape. Yu Shi thinks this project had helped open up a new world for him. "Through 【To the Wonder】, I hope to let everyone see that I'm also able to take on a role like Batay who's so contradictory, rugged yet pure, deep and shy. Such vivid qualities are hard to come by in previous films and dramas."

It was just a "work finding" attitude back then, never thought to gain so much attention right now

【To the Wonder】 was adapted from a short stories publication of the same name by Li Juan, directed by Teng Cong Cong and starring Ma Yili, Zhou Yiran and Yu Shi, which tells a story of a young Han lady Li Wenxiu who grew up in Altay, her consecutive failures chasing after her literary dreams in the city that eventually forced her to return to her hometown to live with her mother who looked after a shop. After she met local youth Batay, Wenxiu gradually came to discover the beauty of the land.

【To the Wonder】 had a global premiere this April at Cannes. Following that, tickets were hard to grab when it had screened at the 14th Beijing International Film Festival. It could be said that it was highly anticipated. Yu Shi laughs as he claimed he hadn't expected that the project would be so popular when he first participated in it. "After I completed filming for 【Born to Fly】, I was jobless for a while. So at that time I only had the mindset of "finding a job" and got in contact with this project. During the audition, I chatted with director Teng Cong Cong and didn't know what the results would be. We met a second time, and it was confirmed that Batay would be played by me."

Yu Shi read 【To the Wonder】's original short stories in detail. The free land and unique quality of Altay made him yearn for it. "At that time I had a personal agenda, I thought as an actor, if I was able to experience the vast, primitive Northern Xinijang with livestock aplenty as penned by Li Juan would be such an experience of a lifetime."

Suddenly feeling like he had really become a local chap

In order to perform Batay well, Yu Shi's greatest challenge was language. He spoke mostly Kazakh in the drama. Half a year before he joined the production team, Yu Shi had started learning Kazakh language from a teacher. He laughed and said he had used a most primitive method-- to memorize blindly. "I couldn't learn it systematically from grammar to phonetics. The script was in mandarin, so I found a teacher to translate it into Kazakh. I recorded it into my voice memos and listened to it daily when I had the time, even when I was going to bed, I brainwashed myself through putting it on loop, memorizing it every day. To what extent did such muscle memory achieve? If you wanted me to speak a line from it (the script), I'm still able to. Although I'm unable to guarantee the meaning of every line but I can most definitely still recite them."

In order to ascertain how well he was able to speak his lines, Yu Shi became "chummy" with the local kids. "I would often grab a kid and greet him before speaking a line from my script, asking if he was able to understand me. He said yes, so I suppose I spoke pretty well."

Yu Shi had substantial dialogue in his first scene, which was a conversation with the owner of the stables. "That actor was Kazakh. Under his lead, my sense of the language got better, and I became more confident. And as filming progressed, I was also immersed into the local community. The few months I was there I rode horses, herded and mixed with the locals whenever I wasn't filming. I would help the shepherd grandpa to herd the sheep and was invited to a shepherd's home. I learnt some short local phrases, so my lines were spoken very naturally. I shook off the bondage of pure memorization and could even start to ad-lib. For example, Batay being a passionately helpful person, saw someone pushing a car from far away. He wanted to help so he went up to say something. At that time the script only wrote "What's wrong?" but I was able to put the script aside and I had forgotten about the language barrier and was able to interact with him like a true local. All of a sudden, I felt as if I had really become a local chap."

Besides writing character background stories, there's also a need to observe the details of daily life

From Yu Shi's point of view, there's a kind of contradiction in Batay, mixed with a different aura. This had become his unique quality. "He's not the kind of pretty that we usually identify with, but he has a kind of primitive masculine handsomeness about him. At the same time, he's just a seventeen, eighteen-year-old kid but all sorts of circumstances had made him mature. He had been shepherding since young and needs to carry family responsibilities and bear with things. But when it comes to feelings he's so shy and deep. This gave him a different charisma."

Yu Shi wrote character background stories for Batay, but he felt it wasn't quite enough. "I attempted to recall many things about myself when I was seventeen and eighteen, to retrace my emotions back then. These weren't enough, I had to observe life, recording down vivid details. For example, incorporating the way the natives express themselves. When Batay smiles, or gets shy, how should the look in his eyes be? I will do a harmonisation. This way, Batay is no longer a character from imagination, but as if he had developed from my own being, a character that's of flesh and blood."

【To the Wonder】 is Yu Shi's first collaboration with a female director. He felt that Teng Cong Cong's female perspective was "very awesome". "She magnified many good parts of me. When we chatted off-camera, she would often say 'you may wait with assurance, this project is definitely very good. As a woman I feel blessed as I watched it.' Director Cong Cong is very detailed, sensitive and is able to capture subtle moments."

Actors are not a "tool" in story telling, they must have their own opinions for the character to truly come alive

Yu Shi really likes to ad-lib in his performances. He laughed and said he is measured and wouldn't overdo his ad-libs. "When on set, being in all that vivid atmosphere, the actors would be inspired and in turn make the story more vivid."

Yu Shi cites an example of a scene where Batay has an argument with his father. His father had objected to his relationship with Wenxiu. Later, Batay rides his horse over and discovers Wenxiu asleep on the grass field. "In the script it writes that Batay plays a prank and ties Wenxiu's shoelaces together, causing her to trip afterwards. But I felt if I had simply acted this way, it would be too single-faceted. I observed that there were many little wildflowers that were blooming on the fields, so I plucked one and stuck it on Wenxiu's glasses. I thought this could express Batay's inner self. At that time, he was feeling messed up. His father had objected to their feelings for each other, Batay needed to take care of this family responsibilities, but he liked Wenxiu and also couldn't bear to wake her up. So, he picked a most beautiful flower to express his liking for Wenxiu. Then, I followed the script to tie her laces together. Such a Batay was no longer just mischievous but had a gentleness and intricacy to him. At that time when I did it, I didn't discuss this with anyone. I just felt inspired at that moment and had a sudden new feeling about it. I feel this was very meaningful in the process of creation."

To Yu Shi who likes adaptations, director Teng Cong Cong had given ample creative space, which was very gratifying to him. "For an actor, the script gives visibility to allow actors to know how the storyline would progress. But actors are not 'tools' to present a story, they must have their own opinions to allow the characters to truly come alive. At the filming set, you will have sudden new feelings. Such feelings would make you act in ways that's closest to daily life, the way in which we speak would also be expressed naturally. This makes it really vivid. The actors in the scene would feel really exhilarated. I really love acting with actors who step away from the script. Such chemistry is very important."

In such a "gratuitous" space, Yu Shi was able to improvise as he liked, to let loose in his acting, and was constantly discovering himself in this process. "The director's expectations are actually very strict. Once she's assured that everything is in order, she would toy with the idea of letting the actors to play around a little, to give more possibilities. For example, the director would let me use multiple ways to express a single feeling, to let me speak my lines in this tone or that tone, or even not saying it but just smiling a little. In this process of practicing, I would have a judgement of my own to discover which way would suit such a scene, and how to present a most powerful side in a relaxed condition. This was a kind of self-discovery."

I'm confident that I'm able to totally immerse myself to act well once I take on a project

Director Teng Cong Cong felt that there was no second option other than Yu Shi for the role of Batay. Not only was his outer-image handsome, it was more so because he had a spirit of really wanting to become a good actor. When Yu Shi was interviewed, he didn't hide his passion and ambitiousness in acting. He wishes for breakthroughs, to leave more recognized characters in his acting career.

【To the Wonder 】 seem to have opened Yu Shi to a new realm, allowing audience to listen to the shyness of a bright young youth. Yu Shi said "After performing in 【Born to Fly】 and 【Creation of the Gods】, I was really afraid of getting typecasted. I didn't want to be labelled. I wish to perform in all sorts of roles to prove myself as a multi-faceted and my depth as an actor. Performing Batay gave me such an opportunity."

In the beginning, when he received 【To the Wonder】, there were people who doubted why Yu Shi would accept a low budget production. Now, Yu Shi feels 【To the Wonder】 has proven itself through its quality. "I can really confidently say that the natural landscape in the show, the movie-style cinematography, the creation from the heart has made 【To the Wonder】 different from all the rest in the past."

Presently, Yu Shi's popularity can be described as "burning". On this, does he feel pressurized? Yu Shi laughed and said "Popularity isn't pressure, but motivation. Right now I feel really great. Such a feeling has nothing to do with popularity but it's from all the pent-up adrenaline I had for all these years that now has somewhere to be put to use, I can finally film more projects."

Yu Shi claimed he's an idealist. "I think a piece of gold will always shine. All great directors and great actors started out as unknowns, so why can't rookies have opportunities and why should they be doubted? What if I succeed? Even if I hadn't filmed 【Creation of the Gods】, I would still think the same. Nobody knew who I was before 【Creation of the Gods】, but that's unimportant. What matters is if you are able to act well. Don't ever be opportunistic, don't think of taking short cuts. I'm confident that I'm able to, when I receive a project, I will put all of myself into it to act well."

Benefitted a lot from the Beijing International Film Festival as a panelist, harbors a "directorial dream"

At the Beijing International Film Festival this April, Yu Shi was a panelist for the "New blood movie projects". Yu Shi reflected that it had been an exceptionally beneficial opportunity. "As I watched the short films, I had to carefully observe the project's cinematography, lighting, editing and all other aspects. This was of great help to me as an actor. Being an actor requires you to understand the entire development of the industry, to understand the styles adopted for cinematography, the director's creative thinking. A good actor would step out of his role to create a project on a macro-level. Secondly, I also saw many young creatives who had just graduated from university and have many thoughts put into their projects, with so much potential. Perhaps an influential creative genius could be born from them."

Yu Shi revealed that he has "dreams of becoming a director". "They inspired me a lot, which further boosted my confidence to persist in becoming a film maker. If I'm able to in the future, I would want to develop as a director, to explore with rookies and let more talented young people be seen."

Likes all things new, actors cannot be isolated, because you can't just be acting as yourself

Yu Shi can be said to be multi-talented in his daily life. A professional basketballer, an expert at horseback riding, archery, good with the guitar. He was also the horseback archery director in 【To the Wonder】.

Yu Shi told the reporter that the job of a horseback archery director is to ensure that filming can be done safely, can progress and that the images can be expressed well with the protocols put in place. "Firstly, it has to be scientific to allow the horses to learn and get used to the scenes. Horses run by nature, but when it comes to scenes on horseback archery, the live camerawork, the people moving around shouting orders would all affect the horses' conditions. So, every frame on the horse has to be captured systematically. Secondly, on the progress of filming, you would have to ensure that the cameraman is able to capture the required angles and frames to fulfill the long shot, full shot, medium shot and close-up requirements. Thirdly, you have to pick the optimum path to allow the cameraman to capture the beauty and aesthetics of the horses' speed, and it has to look good. These are all the communication and calibration work needed prior to filming."

Yu Shi had always loved animals. "They all have such spirits where they can feel if you're kind or malicious as you approach them. Horses are very intelligent. Their discernment through their ears and the sensitivity of their skin and fur are very high. As long as you have a good heart, your scent, your touch would make the animals feel secure and establish a good relationship with them."

On him being "multi-talented", Yu Shi laughed and said he's someone who likes to accept all things new. "The lucky thing is, being an actor really requires such a trait. An actor cannot be isolated, because you can't just be acting as yourself. No matter if it's someone cool, a hopeless romantic, restrained or a hero, villain, you may have to present all sorts of characters. At that time, your skills, your experiences would all become the source of creative inspiration. Just like an ordinary person, if he has a certain ability he would also be very charismatic. Likewise for a character, there could be something special about him, something that makes him better than others. When this happens, as an actor shapes this character and he is coincidentally equipped with such skillsets, he would be able to use it on the character to increase the definition of the role. For example, when I filmed 【To the Wonder】, Batay initially didn't do horseback archery. But because I'm good at it so it was applied onto Batay. The more an actor learns, he accumulates and is able to bestow more shining points to the role. Even a little casual hobby could come in handy during a critical moment to add points onto the character."

Love reflections when feeling anxiety, for example on mortality and the universe

One would be taken aback by Yu Shi's maturity in thinking and the clarity of his attitude as they converse with him. Yu Shi admitted he's the type of person who loves to mull over things and likes both rowdiness and quietness. "When I'm free I'd go for a round of work out and gym. When I return home I turn quiet, mulling over all sorts of things, over and over again, what's past, what's to come, all sorts of things, I'll mull over them all."

And reflecting is a way for Yu Shi to fight anxiety. He claimed he feels anxiety too but he'd think of ways to dissipate such bad feelings. "For example, singing, playing the guitar to let it out, listening to music. And there's another method, it's actually my little secret, which is to think about things in macro-perspective, to think about deep stuff like mortality, the universe, things about various dimensions, or perhaps to just think of these worries as heaven's best arrangement. After thinking about these, you'll find that all those frustrations amount to nothing, actually. There's definitely all sorts of road bumps in life. Just as you resolve an issue, a new one could come along the next day. There is a certain order of our existence here as humans, we will never be able to escape from it. Since no one can escape, then worries and anxiety are very normal things and they're no big deal. Because nothing good comes from worrying. At least you're still living on this earth as a complete being and able to see the sun the next day."

Yu Shi's current projects have all gained good reviews. Does this have something to do with his ability to pick scripts, or is it luck? Yu Shi admits that luck comes first. "No matter how careful a choice is made, it's no use if there's no luck. Many people love to predict if a piece of work would become explosively popular but this is in fact really difficult. Choices and luck come hand in hand. When I pick scripts I rely on my intuition. A good project is something you're able to sense. However as to whether it would become popular, that's controlled by fate. So, my team and I picking a good project is something within our control and it also concerns the how the audience likes it through word of mouth. As for the rest on if it would become insanely popular shall be decided by fate."

Before 【To the Wonder】 was broadcasted, Yu Shi wrote on his weibo "I heard a deep echo from the depths of the grasslands. And that stems from missing the wilderness." In reality, Yu Shi also faces every project and every role with a sincere heart. And then, waits for the echo of fate.

[league-of-thots]

YeeHawks

Pairing: Hawks x female reader

Word Count: 3.3k+

Warnings: 18+, alcohol, riding, is cowboy kink a warning?

A/N: not the way y’all wanted me to return, but the way y’all deserve lol. i didnt really have the energy to give it an in depth edit but sometimes it be like that

         You wipe the sweat from your brow, the sun is high in the bright, cloudless sky. It means that the heat is just pouring down in waves from the sky though, and you curse the fact that you’d agreed to switch shifts with one of the other farmhands that had asked you the day before. Part of you wants to find Kirishima and reem him out, but you know he’s a sweetheart and wouldn’t have ever done something that would make things harder for you on purpose.

         Having said that, imagining giving the man a piece of your mind makes it easier for you to grit your teeth and put your back into heaving large packets of grains into a wheelbarrow for the pigs, so that you wouldn’t have to make as many trips. Instead, it would just be one hellish trip, and a lot less walking in the heat.

         Wiping the stray dirt on your pants you sigh. You feel sticky and can feel the grit on your face, on your arms. You must smell something fierce, though you know compared to the pigs you’d be feeding in a few minutes, you smelt like a bed of flowers.

         You feel the strain on your back as you finally finish loading the wheelbarrow and start to haul it over to the south side of the Academy farm. The ground is rough, and you feel the jarring of the weight in your shoulders, you’re going to be so sore tomorrow.

         After you finish feeding the pigs, you take the supplies back to where they belong and head off to start some of your final tasks of the day. One is milking the cows, and the other being your favourite, plowing some of the dirt to prepare for the new season.

         Is it a bit stupidly cliché that you love riding the big tractor while the sun lowers in the sky? Maybe. Is it worth it? Absolutely. It’s one of the best views you’ve seen in your life. Plus, it always helps clear your mind from a day of hard work so that when you enter one of the farmhouses, you’re ready to do whatever else you need to get done.

         When you park the tractor back to its spot in the barn, you see a few of the other farmhands talking together. They’re laughing with one another, and you wave to them as you walk out with your overcoat and keys.

         You’re in a daze until you realize you’ve somehow already started up a warm shower, standing under the steam to relieve your body from the stress of the day. Your muscles feel so much better with the hot water on them and the steam makes you feel as if you’re in stasis. It’s good because tomorrow is going to be a big day, the August festival, a celebration that the community holds as a sort of last hurrah before the season gets busy once again.

         After you’re clean and put together, you head downstairs to have a quick conversation with the couple other farmhands that share the house with you. You need to check if there’s anything else you need to do to help with the final preparations for tomorrow. The four of you had made some homebrew cider to share with the other townspeople, and it tasted quite good, despite being a little heavy on the alcohol. But nobody would be complaining about that, of course.

         “Mmm, I think its fine.” Mina says, faced scrunched up in thought. “We did pretty well with it for sure.”

         “I agree,” you reply. “Just wanted to make sure I could pass out for the night. I’m fucking dead.” She laughs a little at that.

         “Gotta make sure you have the energy for tomorrow. I hear that it’s going to be extra wild.” She waggles her eyebrows. “You know that there’s going to be a horse-ridin’ performance from our sheriff’s department, but there’s also gonna be some cowboys over here to show off some of their skills too.”

         You’re slightly intrigued at that. Maybe, you’ll even get to see him again… but, better not get your hopes up too much. Instead, you say, “That would definitely be a treat for all the hard work that this year’s been.”

         Mina nods sagely at that. “If I see that blonde, twink of a cowboy I’m goin’ to make him my bitch. Because I deserve it.” That brings a snort out of you, but you pray a little for Denki if you do see him tomorrow, because lord knows he’s going to need it.

         The two of you chat for a little while longer before you wish her a good night and head up to get some rest. You do have a busy day to get ready for after all.

           You wake up early the next day, ready to quickly get your tasks done so you can let loose with friends and community members that night. You wish that you don’t have to do any work, but you can’t have everything you want.

         So, you drag yourself out of bed, muscles tight and body sore, to quickly grab a protein bar and a cleaner pair of working clothes. Your overalls are starting to sport holes and there are some dark stains that just won’t ever come off. You need new ones, you think, as you walk towards the horse pen.

         You love the horses, how sweet most of them are and how peaceful it is in their separated area. It’s especially nice in the early morning, with a crisp breeze and the sun peeking out on the horizon. You grab the feed mix that someone had mixed the day before and drag it over to the troughs, where there are already some of the animals waiting for you to arrive. The horses have learned to expect people in the morning, and some of the more assertive ones wait at the fence to be the first ones to get to eat.

         While they feed, you prepare the cleaning tools inside the small stable that is connected to the fenced off pen. You take each horse that’s finished eating into the small shelter to clean their hooves, brush out their mane and body, and then your favourite part, riding them for a few laps of the enclosure to make sure they run a bit each day.

         It’s while you’re dismounting a cute mare named Starlight when you hear a low whistle from behind you. Someone’s obviously been watching you, and sitting there just outside the enclosure.

“Damn, baby, wonder if you could ride me as good as those horses there.” You feel a vein ticking in your head as you recognize the voice. He’s supposed to be getting ready for the group event, not bothering you while you try to get some fucking work done before you can finally relax and celebrate.

         You turn your body and inwardly groan as your suspicions are confirmed, sitting there waiting is a certain cowboy who’s always managed to piss you off greatly every time one of his short visits brings him to the UA farms.

         “Hello, Hawks.” You grit your teeth as you move towards the next horse that you’re about to take care of.

         “I’m wounded, really, that you don’t sound pleased ta see me, angel.” There’s a satisfied smirk on his face. He really does get off on toying around with you and seeing how much he can piss you off. So, you take a deep breath and calm yourself.

         “Now, why would you expect anything different? I haven’t forgotten the last time you came aroun’-“

         He waves you off. “You’re bein’ ridiculous. It was a harmless joke.”

         “I had to clean the stables for TWO WEEKS.” He just laughs at your anger, totally unphased. It grinds your gears more, the cheeky grin on his face that charms everyone around him, whittling down your intense irritation.

         “Well, if anythin’ everyone else certainly enjoyed it.” You grumble out some choice words about him, making sure they’re loud enough for him to here, as you start brushing out the mane of the mare in front of you. He seems pleased with himself, leaning on the fence, head on his hands.

         “Do you not have somewhere to be? Something you should be practicing for?” He lazily waves away your attempts to get him away from the work you’d like to finish up.

         “Who needs practice? I know exactly what I’ve gotta do so there’s no real reason for me to waste my energy before the actual performance.” He says it with a casual arrogance, that you know comes from years of experience and absolute confidence in his abilities. “The only thing I wanna do right now is try all of the good I know y’all made for the party tonight.”

         You give him an unimpressed look. “Just because we know each other does not mean that I’m going to just give you the cider meant for the community.” He pouts “You can try it when everyone else does later.”

         “Yeah, but we have a special connection.” He grins and you splutter, embarrassed and trying to put away the memories of your bodies pressed together and calloused fingers in your cunt.

         “Jesus, Hawks. Shut up.” You look around furtively, checking to see if anyone would’ve overheard.

         “You like me loud.” God, his smug look makes you feel hot and bothered.

         “Get outta here so I can finish my work, damn it.” He just laughs, turning around before turning back.

         “You better save me some of the goodies y’all made up for after the performance.”

         “Yeah, whatever,” you grumble, face flushed and mind now distracted with memories of Hawks’ hands tangled in your hair.

           “Well, now. This is delicious.” Your eyes follow his tongue that darts out to lick the drop of the cider that had dripped onto his lips. You’d made sure to fill a plate up with the treats that had been spread around the outdoor tables, lanterns hung up around them not only for ease of finding them, but also to light up the evening. “You helped make this?”

         “Yup. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was between never having done it before and Mina’s enthusiasm. God bless Momo, without her we wouldn’t have gotten it done.” He laughs, and you can’t help that you can’t keep your eyes off of him.

         He was slightly sweaty from his earlier performance, which had been perfectly executed, tank top tucked into worn jeans with a feather-like buckle. His eyes are scanning the crowd around as the two of you lean on the outside of the saloon, the inside being too filled with inebriated or high adults to even try to squeeze into a seat.

         “So, how’s life been around here since I last visited?” he asks between bites of some spicey brisket, obviously enjoying it.

         “Ah, not much. Just the usual social drama. Actually, Shinsou almost got his dick sliced off by some machinery someone had fucked around with. I swear to god that man has the worst luck I’ve ever seen.”

         “Holy shit, sure does sound like it.”

         “But yeah, it’s just living day to day for me now. Not much new happens out here, as you very well know.” He shrugs.

         “Might as well see. What’s even keeping you here, then?”

         “Not everyone needs to be on the road their whole life to be happy, Hawks.”

         “I suppose. More cider?”

         “Sure.”

           You’ve drank way too much, you know that. But the fuzziness in your head just makes you want to keep going, to have fun and make up for all the time you lose working long hours every day.

         Besides, Hawks is there beside you, egging you on and matching you drink for drink. His hands always seem to be on your body, either squeezing your ass, wrapped around your shoulders or waist. It makes you feel warm, and you know he’s teasing you, trying to rile you up. He wants to see how bothered he can make you before you snap and drag him off to some private place.

         You’re determined to beat him out though. So, you lean into his body space and trace your hands over his arms, the insides of his wrists. You hear his breath hitch, though his attention is kept on whatever conversation is happening in front of you.

         Of course, this is Hawks, who has just as much patience as a saint, despite being as far from one as possible. But you’re drunk and turned on and the teasing is too much for you to handle, so when there’s a brief pause in the activity around the two of you, you pull him down so you can whisper in his ear how much you want him.

         He grins, “Might as well head back to your place then.” You agree and drag him with you.

         The moment you’re in the house, you wrap your arms around his neck so you can bring his lips to yours. Its messy and rushed, but it’s relieving at the same time. The two of you have done this enough in the few times that he passes through that he’s comfortable enough to let you take charge for a bit.

         “You can’t even wait ‘til we’re upstairs, sugar?” he chuckles, drawing out each word. You feel the rumble of them, pressed up as you are against his chest.

         “Shut up, Hawks.” You grumble, pulling him towards your room if that’s what it’ll take to get his dick out faster.

         After rushing in the room, you kick the door shut behind you and immediately get back to kissing him. This time, he makes more of an effort to assert himself, holding your face in his hands and licking into your mouth. You sigh into him, your hands finding his heated skin beneath his shirt as the pace slows down from the frantic rush it had been. It becomes sensual, and you can feel him getting more aroused as he slowly shifts his hands, starting to grind into you.

         You pull away from him, getting some air as you start to take off his shirt. He enthusiastically moves to help and you get to admire his muscles stretch as he does. Obviously, life constantly on the road does wonders for your abs.

         “You too, sugar. You’re gonna make me feel underdressed.” He says as he moves to take off the rest of his garments. A laugh slips out of you as you hastily get out of your outfit. When you turn your attention back to him, he’s sitting on the bed and he gestures for you to join him.

         When you do, he kisses you again, intensely, as he guides you onto your back. You sigh as he kisses down the side of your jaw to mark your neck, reaching blindly for the lube and condoms beside the bed.

         He quickly slides it on and you hear the squelching of lube as he moves in a rush. You don’t have time to make fun of him though, because as soon as he’s finished, he spreads your legs and puts the head of his dick at your entrance.

         He groans, closing his eyes as he enters you, and its uncomfortable for a little bit. Soon enough though, you relax, and start to feel great as he moves his hips slowly against you. Hawks fucks deeply, you know this from your times before, but each time it feels just as tantalizing as the last.

         “Hawks, please.” You pant, trying to wiggle a little bit just to get some friction, some tiny relief for the edging you’ve been through. He just gives you a smirk, as he keeps you completely locked between him and the mattress. You tense so hard he groans on top of you, but he doesn’t let you move, dick still sitting snug inside your cunt.

         “Well, let’s see those barebacking skills you were showin’ off earlier then, hmm?” he says, his voice low and gruff. With ease, he gets the both of you turned around so you’re now sitting with your ass on his thighs, hands clamped tight on your waist keeping you in place while he lays back on the headboard. He nods satisfactorily, looking you up and down with lidded eyes. “Y’know, I like this view much better, baby. What a pretty picture you make right on top of me.” Part of you wants to roll your eyes, but the warmth that his words give you makes the impulse disappear.

         “You know, Hawks, in order for me to show you said skills, you’re going to have to let me move.” He laughs as you try and lift yourself against the pressure he’s putting, obviously unable to really do anything. “Seriously, you dick, lemme move.”

         “But the face you make when I play these little games with you is so cute, sugar.” He’s got a faux innocent smile across his face and you pout and cross your arms in response. “Okay, okay, I’m done. I promise,” he says, letting off all the pressure, but keeping the two of you connected at the hips.

         “Thank you.” you quip, starting a quicker pace than the one Hawks had been setting, gravity still making it just as deep as before.

         Being drunk obviously makes Hawks that much louder, or maybe it’s the change up in position, you can’t be sure. But, his praises, his deep moans, the lewd noises from the slapping of your body against his hips, it all makes you feel hot as hell.

         You look down, seeing Hawks’ eyes widened and excited, he grins when he notices your look and begins to rock up into you. You throw your head back in as he hits deep within you, crying out his name. Hearing it obviously enthuses him as he grunts in exertion, starting to thrust upwards harder, and you feel your body responding, muscles tightening as you get closer to your climax.

         “God, you’re gorgeous like this, y’know?” he gets out through gritted teeth. “I’m not going to be able to last much longer…” He’s panting, fingers digging into your hips sharply, sure to leave marks.

         “Please, I wanna cum Hawks!”

         “Tell me what you need, sugar, I’ll give it to you.” Hearing that makes you smile, he was always so attentive to your needs.

         “Touch me…”

         “You gotta tell me where for that.” Even when so close to his climax, somehow, Hawks manages to be cheeky. However, when he’s fucking you this well, it’s much easier to let the teasing roll off your back.

         “My clit, Hawks. You do know what that is, right?” He lets out a genuine laugh at that, before sending one hand down towards the bundle of nerves.

         It’s enough, between the stimulation and the deep thrusts into your cunt, that you feel yourself tighten and cry out, cumming hard onto his cock. You lean into him, kissing him hard as pleasure courses through your body.

         He works you through it, breathing heavily, you can feel his pulse skittering under your hands. You feel him twitch within you, and an idea forms in your mind. Mind wrapped up in pleasure, you act on the thought immediately, bringing your hands to his chest to play with his nipples.

         He loves it, making keening noises as you work, legs shaking with effort to stay up and keep pace with him. You let him take the lead and you hear him shout and arch up as you pinch his buds, feeling him release.

         He thrusts a couple more times, lazily and slowly, kissing the top of your head as you settle down to lie on his chest for a few minutes.

         You breath deeply, content in the moment. You know after you clean up and rest, he’ll be gone on the road once again, so you relax, enjoying the presence.

[spacecadetal]

fireworks

kakashi hatake/fem!reader

word count: 2774 warnings: descriptions of violence, descriptions of blood, descriptions of killing, alcohol use author notes: i wanted to write something a little different than i usually would i kinda got a little tired of my wips lol

the first time i saw him, i was eight years old with a shy curiosity about the world. long story short, his shoulder collided with my own. he wasn’t watching where he was going and neither was i, the hard jolt gave me such a fright that i yelled at him to watch where he was going. i had too much pride to admit i was at fault, lost in a daydream once again. he shared my reaction and my sentiment. saying i should watch myself too with great annoyance in his tone. i scoffed, he huffed, we went our separate ways.

i had always heard his name but never connected the dots until i was much older but still not much wiser. he was a prodigy, i was painfully just above average. as a bright eyed genin, i was out in the world and only starting to understand the true meaning of the path i chose at the naive age of six. his squad was babysitting my own on a mission. his mentor stands next to mine and introduces us and my face sours immediately. unlike him i don’t have a mask to hide it. he avoids me for the whole mission but his teammates are nice.

his red eye was making waves around the world, he was a myth and enemies across the land waited in anticipation for the day to come where they could finally see it in the flesh. great gain had come with great loss, i’m sure he wishes the second hand eye was back with its original owner. i remember the first time i saw him lift up his headband and expose it to the world. the blood red eye and it’s black swirls, chills shoot down my spine like pins and needles. engaging with an enemy was pure violence, animalistic and messy yet he made it seem so graceful. 

the pines and the dark forest disappear before my eyes; now he stands on a wooden stage with his foe, dancing under a spotlight. every dodge and weave is smooth and flawless. his strikes felt as natural and as quick as a snake striking at its prey. i watch his performance with a disregard for my own safety and when the last of our enemies hit the dirt, i wait for him to bow. instead he shakes the blood off his kunai and the famous eye is tucked away under his headband. i think i fell in love with him that afternoon.

the girl who died, her name was rin and that one time her team babysat mine, she braided my hair by a campfire and said i had a pretty name. she didn't deserve to die. they whisper about him when he walks by, terrible nasty things. but i smile at him, wave to him when i see him and hope it makes him feel less alone in the world. he sees it and he averts his gaze without reply or acknowledgement. rejection makes my chest tighten, if only slightly. naturally i assume he doesn’t like me, maybe he doesn’t like anyone. 

i'm in a village with my squad for a mission, it’s small but the green tea in the wooden cup and the smell of rabbit stew on the stovetop makes me feel at home. the excited teenage boy asks me about the things i've seen. the only thing he knows is chopping wood and shearing sheep. he asks me about a rumour he’s heard by a traveller about the boy that conjures lightning in his hand, he asks me if i've seen it before in the flesh. i smile and nod and confirm that i have. he asks me to describe it. i don't know how to at first.

first, you hear the static snapping and popping and it captures your attention instantly. then the pale blue light grows bigger and bigger in his hand, it takes on a life of its own and i won’t lie and say that it doesn’t make my heart beat out of my chest but he tames it like a wild beast, he has complete control. if you stand off to the side, you can watch the show. lightning surrounds him but he is never burnt. he’s like a god when he strikes, i've never seen something so terrifying but beautiful. he's beautiful. but i don’t tell the teenage boy that and i dont tell him that sometimes the loud crackle of his chidori haunts me when im alone. 

when i'm a chunnin, i feel much older than i am. it's not due to the title of my rank but because i keep plunging my kunai into grown men’s hearts and have to pretend it doesn’t faze me to see blood squirting from punctured arteries. i don't see him around the village much anymore. he lives in the darkness, in the shadows but sometimes he comes out into the light. he's grown so much older and taller and i think he looks handsome in his gear. toned arms and biceps and that tattoo on his left upper arm, the one that tells the world where his loyalties lie. walking past him, i prepare to feel the chill of his icy demeanor but i say his name, wave and smile. the only one of his eyes that sees the world widens and the veins of his arms bulge at my greeting, i can’t see his hands because they’re stuffed in his pockets. he always looks away but this time, for the smallest of seconds, he nods in my direction and then he is gone.

when the nine tailed beast attacks the village, i am kept away from the battle in a forest with the rest of the ninja around my age. he’s there, standing by his friend who talks and talks. i like his friend, he always greets me with enthusiasm. i try to ignore the sounds of my village being destroyed and the screams of the unfortunate dying people as i am powerless to do anything. my eyes move on their own in his direction only to find he has the same idea. for a moment, air leaves my lungs and i nod politely before i look away. his eyes meet mine one, two, three times. that night my home was buried under a mountain of rock and rubble and he lost the last person that knew the true extent of the damage this world had inflicted on him. 

the elderly lady at the stall with the hair clips told me i've grown into a beautiful young lady and i blush at her comment and insist it isn’t so. she tells me i must have a lot of boys' attention and i buy the deep blue hair clip with the faux sapphire gem. it stands out in my dark hair. it's been a long time since my house was crushed and a long time since he’s sat in the dango store with his friends but here’s there when i walk by. the compliment has me on cloud nine and i'm glad he’s not alone anymore. i smile at the group, say ‘ hey guys ’ and wave. for a millisecond my eye catches his as i'm walking by and my mind plays tricks on me. i think i see his cheeks tinge red.

kurenai came up to me one summer's morning and asked if i was attending the festival. i told her i was but likely alone. maybe i wasn’t such a pretty girl, no fish ever nibbled on the hook of the fishing pole i cast into the waters. her boyfriend looked bored as we spoke and her crimson eyes smile when she brings up the boy with the silver hair’s name, pretending she doesn’t notice my breath hitch for the slightest of moments. ‘ you should ask him, he’s not going with anyone either ’ she tells me and then she drags her boyfriend away. i sit alone on the cliffs for an hour thinking it through, my knees up to my chin as i wonder why she would suggest such a thing. iwashi is pissed that i'm twenty minutes late to meet up with them.

his group joins up with mine hours later and i greet him as i always do. he stands off to the side and plays with his hands and every time i catch his eye he looks as if he wants to say something to me. they say love feels like butterflies but when my eyes meets his, those butterflies turn into angry bees. i want to say something to him too, ask him where his friend got the idea that i should ask him to go with me but the bees within me sting and their venom prevents me from opening my mouth. i avert my gaze and pretend to listen to genma when he talks about his favourite order of ramen. 

we all part ways but we’re together again within the hour and i'm waiting nervously at the spot kurenai told me to come back to. my yukata is the colour of lapis and white periwinkles decorate the sleeves and i wonder if i look plain compared to the girls around me dressed in passionate pinks, gentle purples, and bold reds. he doesn’t see me at first but i see him. his yukata is dark grey with light thin stripes and it compliments his bright silver hair wonderfully. it’s the first time i've seen his hair down and his long strands are wild and stick out all over the place, i think i fall in love with him all over again. hes alone and i don’t dare to approach but he finally sees me. he waves, i nod. he's so handsome that i can’t stand to look at him so i don’t.

it’s dark and explosions of many colours light up the sky. i'm so distracted by the loud boom echoing off the hills and the blue, red, white and green lights on a black landscape that i don’t notice he's standing right beside me watching it too. knuckles lightly brush against my own, my chest tightens at the sensation. it’s distracting enough that i tear my eyes away from the sky show. they’re as wide as a possum when i meet his gaze. he doesn’t say anything, he just stares for a moment before he looks back at the fireworks. it was an accident and i forgive and forget but then his fingers awkwardly hook around my own, clinging for dear life. i cannot look, i cannot think nor speak. i hold my breath and blink rapidly while i cling onto his fingers just as tightly. when the fireworks are finished, we consider each other in silence for a minute. his hand leaves mine and we part ways without a word.

every time i see him, i see fireworks and feel the ghost of his fingers wrap around my own. he acknowledges me and we’re rarely left alone around each other; when we are we do not speak of it. we lean against a railing side by side and watch our friends fool around. courageously i say to him that the weather is nice today and he nods in agreement before his friend calls him over. when he leaves my side, his knuckles brush past mine once more. i jump in surprise and tell myself it was another forgivable accident but then he glances back at me as he walks away and i can’t be too sure. 

i am frozen still in a shrub waiting for the enemy to pass by. the sound of my heartbeat in my ears is so loud but suddenly it is replaced with the familiar crackle of electricity that haunted my dreams for the longest of times. when i turn around i see a man gasping for life, holding on tightly to the kunai i imagined would have been plunged into the nape of my neck if it wasn’t for the ball of lightning sizzling away in his chest. the man’s body drops to the ground and i finally see him standing there in the man’s place, his lower arm is soaked with blood from the fatal strike. he takes my hand and helps me onto my feet. that famous red eye is hiding behind a porcelain hound mask and he asks me if i'm okay. i assure him i am and thank him, he nods his head in reply and walks away. i don’t mind that he’s left my hand stained with our enemy’s blood. 

when i am given the rank of jonin i am months away from being twenty. i’m not allowed to drink just yet but my older friends buy bottles of sake to share in the park and i accept the invitation without giving it much thought. it’s sweet on my tongue and goes down smoothly, the aftertaste reminds me of potatoes for some strange reason i can’t put my finger on. i drink and i drink until half a bottle is gone and my cheeks are red and i laugh too loudly at asuma’s lame jokes. the stars are beautiful tonight but they just look like streaks of light in my blurry vision. i lay in the grass, my head feels light and my stomach slightly churns. out of nowhere he is in my line of sight, standing over me with a touch of concern on the features that aren’t hidden away. he asks me if i'm okay and i say i'm just fine and i think to myself that i'm glad to see him. 

when he takes me home, he lectures his friends that i'm too young to get drunk and they reply that i'll be old enough in a couple of months and it doesn’t make that much of a difference. he doesn’t mind my drunken babbling and how my head leans on his shoulder as we walk slowly through the dimly lit streets. his grip around my waist is tight and i try not to say something foolish like the way he fights is a form of art or that i want him to hold my hand again. he drops me off at the door and leaves once i am inside safely. i pass out that night thinking of the ways i want to be his.

i am twenty one when he leaves the anbu and i see him on the streets alone. his nose is in a book and he doesn’t notice as i walk by. i fight the urge to turn around and ask him how he’s going, i’ll be late to meet up with my old squad to train if i do. later when i walk home, i stare off into the distance and think about making dinner and sharpening my collection of kunai when i collide with something hard. i jump out of fright at the impact, ready to snap when two hands land on my shoulders to secure me in place. we’re not kids anymore and he smiles at me and apologises even when i'm at fault. i ask him how he’s been and he says he’s been just fine. he walks me home and we talk about missions and his new role as a squad leader. on my doorstep he says he’ll see me around and then he is gone and i am left greedily wanting more of his time.

one day when we are standing alone he tells me he is in love with me. it is is out of the blue and i brush it off with laugher, telling him he couldn’t possibly be; he takes my hand in his and insists it’s true. he tells me that he has been since the moment i collided with him in the street when he was ten years old. that when the world was unkind to him, i provided enough kindness to keep him going, all in a smile and a greeting. it is everything i have wanted to hear and more. the angry swarm of bees are back and i am stung over and over again. he can tell that i'm paralysed so his lips fall gently onto mine and it allows me to say the things i cannot utter out loud. my eyes are closed and i can see the very same fireworks from the night our fingers touched. when he breaks away from me he says we should get out of here and wordlessly i agree. we walk in the streets of the village and i am unsure of the destination he has in mind. his fingers are wrapped around mine.

[shoutosteakettle]

⤷ pairing: natsuo todoroki x fem!rreader

⤷ genre: slight angst, fluff

⤷ word count: 2418

⤷ warnings: maybe ooc natsuo 

⤷ a/n: i am so fucking excited to post this fic because it is my first fic for a server collab!! check out the rest of the fics for the collab here, everyone on the list is such a talented writer and i know that they put a lot of effort into their fics. and as always, thank you @ererokii for the beautiful banner for this fic,, i love you aims 

☆彡

You have memories from one year ago today!

You looked at the notification on your phone, trying your best not to let the tears biting at the corner of your eyes spill out onto your cheeks. Even though you know you shouldn’t have, you opened the app; your eyes immediately darted towards the face of your ex. It had only been a couple weeks since he parted ways with you, but you had already forgotten just how handsome he was, and just how happy you used to be.

“Fuck!”

Your pained yelp was loud enough to startle the elderly couple sitting on the bench in front of you. You got up, brushed the dirt off your skirt, and sent a bow to them as a quick sorry for your vulgar language. When you straightened your back to stand up, your shoulders still slightly hunched, you looked in front of you, losing sight of why you had come here in the first place – not sure you ever really had a reason.

It was hard to keep track of your thoughts when you were overwhelmed by the amazingly beautiful scenery in front of you. The warm colors of the wilting leaves on the autumn trees paired almost perfectly with the fairy lights strung from them, lighting the path of food stands, game booths, and street performers as if it was art taken from the pages of a fairytale book.

As you trailed the path you had many times before, though you were usually accompanied by the person you thought you would love you forever, you let the nostalgia wash over you, almost completely forgetting about the stabbing pain in your right ankle for a minute or two. But you were brought back to your less than desirable reality when you found your face buried in the broad chest of a stranger. You limped backward, fully ready to apologize profusely to the stranger, but your breath hitched, and you couldn’t find the words to do so when you caught sight of his face.

The first thing you noticed was the definition in his jaw, the bones shaped as if was done by the gods themselves. Your eyes took note of just how clear his skin was, absent of even the slightest imperfections (despite being a full-time college student). In all your awe, you hadn’t noticed that his eyes were tracing your face in the exact same way. Taking in everything from the volume of your hair to the shape of your nose. It wasn’t until your eyes met his did you finally say something, “I- I’m so sorry, I must not have been paying attention.” You sent him a curt bow before standing back up and continuing on your limped journey for the infirmary.

But you stopped your steps once again when the white-haired male that you had run into placed a hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay,” he asked, gently turning you around, noticing the way you were trying to avoid putting pressure on your right foot.

“Yeah, I just- I think I sprained my ankle,” you told him, not even bothering to hold back the pained expression on your face anymore.

“Oh? That’s perfect- this is the nurses’ booth,” he said, pointing to the sign hanging from the hem of the tent.

“So, what happened,” he asked, rummaging behind his desk, most likely looking for what he would need to get you patched up.

You cringed at the memory as it replayed in your head in response to his question. “I was, uh, distracted on my phone and ended up missing a step going down the stairs, I took a little tumble, and here we are,” you explained, still mortified by the whole ordeal, but smiling to yourself about the way he chuckled at your last comment.

You watched him rise from his squatted position, ice and bandages in hand, before striding over to the cot you had situated yourself on. He sat down his supplies on the table next to you, making small talk as he rolled over the stool from his desk to the foot of your cot. “May I,” he asked his hands hovering above your right foot. Understanding he needed to take off your pump to help you out, you gave him a shy nod. 

You felt your cheeks heat up at the sight of the chipped nail polish on your toes. You meant to get them done; you just hadn’t gotten around to it yet, what with all the self-loathing. You jumped at the feeling of his hands on your skin. 

“Cold right,” he laughed, looking up to send you a quick smile, “I get it from my mom.” His smile looked sad, like there was a lot more emotion behind it then he was letting on. 

“So why are you here instead of enjoying the festival,” you asked him. He looked pretty young, around your age, so it was hard to believe he was actually a nurse.

“I’m actually in Uni, my first year. I’m majoring in health and welfare; extra credit for one of my classes was tending to the booth,” he explained, not looking at you, but rather focused on examining your ankle. You didn’t mind though; he had the most beautiful side profile and was truly a joy to look at. Everything from the lack of color in his hair and how it framed his face perfectly, to the length of his eyelashes and how they [make blinking sexy]. He went to ask you a question in return but was cut off when you let out a sharp hiss in return to his fingers pressing a little too hard on your ankle.

“Yeah, it’s definitely sprained,” he confirmed, looking up to see your face completely drained of little positivity it had before. “Don’t worry babes, this is what we’re gonna do.” You watched with glossy eyes as he rolled over to pick up the ice pack sitting on the table next to you before rolling back over to take another look at your ankle.

“We’ll use ice to help with the swelling and hopefully some of the pain, yeah,” he said very matter of factly despite the questioning tone of his voice. He looked up to you once again, waiting for a sign of confirmation that you were following him, so you sent him another shy nod. “We’ll do this for around 15 minutes. What time is now?”

You grabbed your phone from on top of the table next to you, tapping the screen and seeing the numbers 8:53 shine across the top. “It’s 8:53,” you repeated, reading the numbers off of your home screen.

“It’s already that late,” he questioned more to himself than anyone else. “So 9:03, go ahead and set a timer, so we don’t lose track of time.” You did as he asked, ignoring the smile of your ex as you swiped out of that app and onto the clock app, putting in fifteen minutes into the timer and pressing start.

“So what are you doing here at the festival,” he asked, finally taking a good look at you for the first time since you ran into him outside.

“Um,” you started, looking for an answer you could give him. “I come here every year to celebrate my anniversary.”

“Oh, you’re married,” he asked, taking a second look at your hand, dreading that he might see a ring he missed at first glance.

You feel your cheek heat up at the thought of marriage, how nice that would be. “No, actually, I’m recently single,” you clarified for him, shifting uncomfortably in the awkward silence following.

After a minute or two, perhaps the longest in your life, you found it in you to look him in the eyes again, only to find his were already looking back at you. “It’s probably for the best. Everything happens for a reason, and all of that, right?”

“Right,” you chuckled in response. Of all the ways you looked at your breakup trying to put reason behind your ex’s sudden, I think we’d be better off apart, never had you once looked at it as it was just fate. Your relationship being simply not meant to be, but maybe that was the best way to see it.

“What about you, are you in a relationship,” you asked, not meaning to come off as desperate as you're sure you sounded.

“Unless you're asking about the intense love-hate relationship that I have with my textbooks, then no,” he said, laughing with you at his own joke. “Why do you ask?”

You felt your cheeks heat up once again at his sudden inquiry, and for what felt like the thousandth time today, you found yourself without an answer to his question. “Just curious,” were the two words you were miraculously able to get out without stuttering.

“You said you were majoring in health and welfare, right,” you asked, desperately trying to detour the conversation from the topic of relationship status.

“Yeah.”

“So you want to be a doctor,” you asked, tilting your head to the side just a bit so you could get a better view of his face.

“That’s the plan,” he answered, keeping in line with his usual jokey tone.

“Why is-”

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question or two,” he suggested, cutting you off with the most teasing voice.

“Are you in Uni,” he asked. Your face, while beautiful, was an unfamiliar one.

“Yeah, but I go to school in Tokyo,” you said, a little embarrassed at the fact that you drove so far just to reminisce a little.

“That’s pretty cool! The city life over there is pretty exciting, right,” he asked, sounding almost awestruck.

“Yeah! I don’t go out much, but when I do, I always have a lot of fun,” you gushed, unable to keep the smile off your face as the memories came rushing back to you.

“Maybe I’ll have to come up there and take you out sometime,” he laughed, playing it off as a joke, but you didn’t miss the wink that he sent your way. 

“I think I would really enjoy that,” you smiled, watching as a soft pink tinted his cheeks at your sudden bluntness.

“I-”

Just as he was about to say something in return, the timer you had set went off, the sound of the phone’s default ringtone blaring throughout the room.

“Alrighty,” he groaned, taking the ice off of your ankle and rolling over to the bedside table one last time. He put down the ice and picked up the bandages before rolling over the foot of your cot once again. You winced at the feeling of pain when he reached for your ankle. You could see it in his face that he was hurting for you as he wrapped up your foot. You're sure he said something doctorly about how compression was supposed to help with the swelling but you were too focused between the delicate work of his hands and the look on his face as he concentrated to pay attention.

It wasn’t until the feeling of your pump being placed back on your foot did you finally realize that he was finished. You set yourself down on two feet, listening to his advice about not putting too much pressure on your right foot. But even without walking on it, your right foot still hurt like a bitch.

“I can help you out,” he offered, already sweeping you off your feet before you had a chance to politely decline, sure that he had better things to do than helping you for any longer.

You couldn’t stop the soft giggle that left you as relaxed in his arms, feeling like you were right at home. Like this is where you were supposed to be there. Like he was made for you and you, him.

“It’s really pretty out here in the moonlight, huh,” you questioned rhetorically, the lights that shone in the streets reflecting in your eyes just like stars twinkled in the night sky.

“Yeah, it really is,” he agreed, but his eyes weren’t on the scenery. They were focused on you. Taking in your face all over again in fear that he might forget just how beautiful you were in the time between now and whenever the next time you see him is, that is, if he ever sees you again.

As he carried you bridal style through the festivities that was the fall festival and through the parking lot to your car, silence overcame the two of you, but unlike before, this silence was comfortable, nothing but the murmurs of people indulging in conversations and the crunch of leaves under your savior’s feet every now and then. No words were needed; if anything, they would probably ruin this moment between you and him. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this at home with someone, but you certainly wouldn’t say that you minded the feeling. Despite his cold hands on your skin, your heart was overflowing with warmth, and it was all because of him.

“Which is yours,” he asked, nodding his head towards the cars. When you pointed out yours, he took his last couple of steps with you in his arms before carefully setting you down in front of your car. You weren’t ready to say goodbye yet. You wanted a little more time with him.

“Oh my god, I never got your name,” you confessed, mentally kicking yourself for forgetting something so important.

“Don’t sweat it. I’m Natsuo, Natsuo Todoroki.” 

“Well, Natsuo, Natsuo Todoroki,” you began, playfully mocking his cliche answer to your previous question, “would you mind giving me your number,” you asked, offering him your phone.

“Of course not,” in return for your he handed you his phone already opened to the contact app, and ready for you to input your information. 

“I don’t give that out to just anyone, so make sure you put it to good use,” he winked, taking his phone from you and turning around to walk back to his booth, but not without stealing one last glance from you as you climbed inside your car.

As you suffered the pain that was driving with a sprained ankle, there was only one thing running through your mind that distracted you from it all; Natsuo Todoroki was starting to look like a person you could make new memories with.

[random-mha-thoughts]

Burden (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Anon asked: “yo so for some Todoroki angst, what about his gf breaking up with him because Endeavor had told her to because he didn't want her to get in the way of Todoroki's "purpose" (she does tell him this) which leads to a very depressed Todoroki left wondering what he did wrong and desperately trying to get her back? Could end happily if you want, up to u"

Genre: Angst to fluff

(Submission 2/3 of Todoroki angst from my post a few days ago) 

Word count: 1,993

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: Legit I’m so tired I almost fell asleep in the middle of writing this, but I wanted to get this out for you guys before the night ended, so I banged it out.  It’s not as intense as Name and it ends happily so I hope you guys enjoy and are left with some fuzzy feelings at the end :3

I wrote this kind of gender neutral soooo yeah, read it as you want to!  Thanks again for the submission anon! I appreciate you!

It hurts to break Todo’s heart.  He’s baby, I just love him so much I wanna protect him :(

Also question, do you guys care if there’s a pic at the top of every post or nah?

From the moment Aizawa told me Endeavor wanted to speak to me, I knew something would go utterly wrong.

"I want you out of my son's life," he ordered bluntly.  "I have big plans for Shouto to become the top hero one day, he doesn't need to be sidetracked by high school romance."

Todoroki had warned me how pushy and controlling his father was, which is why he always kept our relationship somewhat secretive.  I don't even know where or when his father saw us together.  It's shocking, but I can't say I'm totally surprised he's saying it.

"Sir, with all due respect," I'm trying to be polite, but I want to give the man a piece of my mind after all the things Shouto's told me, "Shouto wouldn't appreciate you getting involved in his personal life.  This was a decision he made without you, and I'd say he's happy with it."

Endeavor rolls his eyes and rests his hands on his desk.  "Shouto doesn't know what's good for him.  Besides, I'm sure he only agreed to be in a relationship with you just to rebel against me.  He holds no true feelings for you."

I gape at his statement.  Is he for real?  "I don't know how you could possibly know that, I don't think Todoroki said anything to you about me or his feelings."

The man's turquoise eyes scan me uncomfortably.  "I remember your performance from the Sports Festival.  You barely even made it past the obstacle course round, and the only reason you advanced to the finals was because you happened to be on a winning team.  You even lost your first battle.  Your quirk and your abilities are nothing special."

I clench my fists, rage coursing through my blood.  "Excuse me-"

"Which is why a weakling like you wouldn't be a good match for my son," he continues.  "Think about it.  My son's power is immense, he can stand on his own in a match.  You probably need support from someone else.  He'll eventually grow tired of you and he'll toss you aside for someone on the same level as him."  Endeavor glances at the clock on his desk.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I have another meeting planned."  He rises from his chair and strolls out of the room.  "Give it some thought and I'm sure you'll make the right choice."

I'm left in the middle of his office, shaking and seeing red with rage.  I want to punch and scream in his face.  I don't care if he's some big-shot pro hero, he can takes his words and shove it where the Sun doesn't shine.  How can he talk that way to people so easily? Exasperated (and afraid I'll break something if I stay), I huff out of the room and back to the dorms, mumbling and cursing to myself about all the things I'd like to do to Todoroki's father.

And I hate to admit it, but what he said really gets to me.  My quirk isn't a strong, elemental type like Shouto's.  All I can do is heat things I touch until they melt or burn, including human skin.  I couldn't do much in the Sports Festival except block my opponents by melting the ground beneath them or throwing flaming objects at them.  I've always had a love-hate relationship with my quirk because it was always too destructive or too weak to be a hero's quirk, but I've always tried to use it in offensive ways to help me fight.

As I get off the train, I sigh, Endeavor's words swimming in my mind.  I hate that he might actually be right.  I'm pretty useless.  I can't help Shouto improve himself when he has to worry about constantly building me up and supporting me.  I'd just be a burden to him.

It breaks my heart to know that I'm actually considering going through with this.  Damn it, I can't believe I let Endeavor win.

I trudge into the common room of the dorms.  Everyone's watching TV, eating, or reading.  Shouto turns around from his position near the wall, just observing everyone.  As soon as he sees me, his blank face softens into a smile, making my heart sink.  I hate to break his heart, but it's for the best.

"Hey, where were you?  I was worried for a moment that you wouldn't come back before curfew."  His eyes melt right into mine, displaying nothing but warmth.

My stomach churns.  Aizawa had told me privately, so Todoroki doesn't know I just faced his father.  "My parents needed me to go grocery shopping for them.  They're both out of town, so they didn't get to go before they left."  I bite my lip, dreading what's going to come next.  "Can we...talk outside?"

The fondness stiffens into anxiety and I see his Adam's apple move as he gulps.  "Okay."

Once we're outside, it gets more difficult for me to look him in the eyes because I'm afraid I'll cry, and I have to be the strong one.  I take a deep breath to calm myself, feeling his eyes on me.  Just rip it off like a band-aid.  "I think we should break up."

At first I thought I'd said it too quickly for him to understand, but the way his face falls confirms he heard just fine.  I feel like I've just kicked the most precious puppy in the world, I want to cry in his arms and confess everything that just happened, but I can't.

The confusion and despair mixes in his eyes as he stares at he ground, his eyes flickering back and forth.  "Did I do something wrong?  Please tell me, I'll fix it."

My throat threatens to close up, but I swallow hard.  "It's nothing you did, Shouto.  I just think we might've rushed into this.  We let our feelings get in the way of why we're really here, and it wasn't to get into relationships."  I muster up the courage to stare at him with a hardened look.  "We should focus on our real priorities from now on.  I'm sorry."

Shouto's crestfallen expression kept falling with every word I said and I can't take anymore.  I calmly walk back inside the dorm and head upstairs to my room, about to explode into tears and I can't let anyone see it.  As soon as I shut the door, I break into sobs and collapse onto my knees.  The memory of his face right before I left remains behind my eyelids.  I hate possibly seeing him cry or get angry.  For both of our sake, I'm praying that he gets over it quickly.  We only dated for a few months, he should get over it fairly quickly.

.

He didn't get over it.

Even after almost a week, Shouto never failed to get through a day without boring holes in the back of my head.  He seemed so lost without me even when he's surrounded by his friends.  It got to the point where I decided to start having my lunch in an empty classroom because I would feel like breaking down whenever I meet his heartbroken stare.

There were even a few times where he would come up to me in the halls while I stopped to talk to someone and tried to talk to me, but I had to politely smile and tell him I was busy with the person I was with and then walk away.

It hurts.  It just hurts so much.

But if it means we can both benefit and get stronger without me burdening him, I have to stand my ground.  I started throwing myself into intense training alone.  I'm trying to focus my quirk on emitting heat to things so I don't have to touch them, but I'm not getting anywhere fast with it.

After a few days of frustrating myself, Shouto suddenly bangs the door open in the middle of my training.  At first I want to politely ask him to leave, but the anger burning in his eyes stops me as he marches to stand right in front of me.  I feel terribly small in his presence, I don't even want to meet his eyes.  "What-"

"Why didn't you tell me my father asked to see you?" he asks, his voice dangerously low, like a time bomb waiting to explode.

I feel my face lose all color.  How did he find out?  "Who-?"

"Uraraka told me," he answers before I can finish, fists clenching at his sides.  "I had a hunch there was something wrong.  What did he tell you?"

I'm torn between answering and keeping my mouth shut, incapable of even looking him in the eyes for fear I might fall apart right here.  "N-Nothing," I manage feebly.

"Tell me," the edge in his voice growing.  The room gets hotter and colder at the same time as Shouto's quirk starts releasing out of his control.

I scrunch my eyes shut to hold back tears.  "H-He told me you didn't actually have feelings for me and that you're only dating me to rebel against him," I sniff, "And then he said I'm too weak for you, that I'm nothing special, and you'll eventually get tired of me because I can't hold my own in a battle and you'd rather be with someone with the same ability level as you."  The hot tears finally escape my eyes and run down my face.  "And he's right, isn't he?  I'm just a burden to you.  I'm probably better suited to be someone's sidekick than a hero.  I'm nowhere near the same level as you."

I reach up to wipe my face of my stupid tears when Shouto steps closer and gently wipes them away with his thumbs.  His hands remain there, holding my head between his hands, the familiar gesture making me choke out a sob.  Anger had melted away into understanding and sympathy.  "I don't care about the strength of your quirk or how useful you are in battle.  I care about you, as the person I love.  And I'd never get tired of you."

He plants a soft kiss on my forehead and I collapse into his chest, my arms wrapping around him and gripping the back of his shirt as I let everything out.  His comforting fresh scent calms me down as he pats my back.

"I'm sorry, Shouto," my sobs muffle into his clothes, "I let him get to me.  I was too weak to tell you anything and I thought you wouldn't want me anymore.  I'm sorry I put you through this."

The boy buries another kiss in my hair.  "I knew you wouldn't think of this on your own, love.  You know how much I care about you."

"I know," I sniff again separating from him and wiping my face, "I was stupid.  I made both of us suffer for no reason."

Shouto cradles my cheek with his left hand and I lean into his warm, holding onto his wrist.  "Can we get back together then?  I miss you a lot."  Those mismatched eyes hold more love in them than I can even fathom.  They choke me up so much I can only nod.

His icy hand pulls me in by my waist before sealing our lips together in a sweet reunion kiss.  We move against each other, familiar feelings burst out of us to express exactly how much we missed out on each other in the past couple weeks.

Shouto pulls away just far enough to keep our foreheads still pressed together.  "If my father ever tries to meet you again, you're taking me with you.  I'm not letting him disrespect you like that.  He needs to know his place."

"Okay. don't get so worked up," I kiss his nose, to which he blushes and I giggle.  "Now can you help me with my training now?  I need to catch up with you."

[j9only]

This week with J9

Joong is training at Insight, and went Live on Wednesday.  He said that someone called him cute in China, when he was trying to be cool and handsome. and that he was really impressed with one of his korean friends because they had such great lips, so the boy gave him a bottle of the stuff he uses.  He also answered a question about Nine. Saying that they talk often and that Nine has to work tomorrow. It’s good to see them staying in touch a lot.  Nine leads a busy life right now, lots of flying, training and recordings for show. But he still makes time to talk to Joong.  Joong’s project is coming up soon and he told the fans to keep an eye out for it on Insight’s YouTube channel.  Joong also has a doujin account now, where he uploads videos too.  Nine has another rumoured sponsor, but so far none of the rumoured sponsors ended up confirmed, it could be that it takes awhile for the material to be released, but it could be that people are simply spreading wrong information.  INTO1 2nd performance is coming soon! On June the 15th, INTO1 will attend Jiangsu 616 Festival.  And the boys their appearance on Happy Camp, recorded in May, will air on June the 5th.  Nine was given a flower bouquet by fans that he asked if he could keep. And he really loved it. The fan = artist interaction in China is very different from Thailand. So this is the first gift Nine has got for him fans, because gifting idols is technically speaking not allowed. Where in Thailand it’s pretty much the norm.  So it’s great for him to be getting something like this!  Fun little timing, but just after Joong had said in his live, he often talks to Nine, Riki said Nine is the noisiest because he is on the phone every day. Liu was quick to defend that Nine talks to his family. And as confirmed by Joong, to Joong a lot as well, but obviously they cannot confirm that.  Nine also made a weibo video in which he told people he likes fruits and to eat more fruits, so Joong posted a video of himself eating an apple. ^^.  For the SixMoons fan, I have some space so a quick update.  - Earth will be in Secret Admire (BL) - Main role - Dome will be in The Theory series (BL) - main role - Ben signed with a new agency. Which is the same as Dome is under, but hasn’t landed a new role yet.  - Pavel is releasing his first solo single soon. 

[umbry-fic]

To Wish Upon a Lantern

Summary: In the midst of their journey, Lloyd and Colette visit a new town and decide to participate in their lantern festival.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Original Character Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: G Word Count: 3266 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 22/06/2021

Notes: Fluff fic with a little bit of angst! Written for @frayed-symphony's birthday!

~~~

“Look at these, Lloyd! They’re so pretty!” Colette exclaimed next to Lloyd. She was pointing out the tiny charms on display in the pop-up cart in the middle of the bustling marketplace. “I wonder what they are,” Colette mused.

“They kinda look like a chef’s hat to me,” Lloyd replied, leaning down to get a closer look at the charms. “You know, the one Professor Raine wore sometimes when trying to cook, just without the folded ridges? It’s even pure white in colour.”

The design resembled a cuboid with an open bottom from which a tassel protruded out, the individual strands all ramrod straight without a kink or tangle in sight. The top of the cuboid transitioned seamlessly into a pyramid-like shape, the same string that made up the tassel extending upwards out of the top of the pyramid, tied into a complicated system of knots. Trying to follow the string down its path made Lloyd’s head hurt. At the end of it all, the string formed a loop, perfect for hanging the charm up on furniture. Threaded on the string above and below the “chef’s hat” were two gems, sunlight reflecting off their polished surfaces and making them sparkle.

“I see what you’re saying.” Colette picked up one of the charms by the loop of string, pursing her lips as her fingers rubbed at the knot. It was a rather satisfying feeling. “But I don’t think a chef’s hat would be important enough to a town for it to be everywhere.”

“True.”

By everywhere, Colette truly meant everywhere. Lloyd had seen multiple variants of this charm at other stalls, some with different colours, some with and without the gems on the strings, some with even more complicated knot designs, some with words printed on the side, some without strings altogether and instead using clasps and hooks, perhaps to better attach the charm to clothing and bags. But it wasn’t just products in the marketplace. He’d seen it in murals painted on the walls of this town, and even walked past some children making a larger version.

“The details are incredible…” Lloyd muttered, feeling the material of the charm. It looked to be folded out of paper at first sight, but the texture wasn’t remotely like it. He wanted to ask the stall owner how he’d folded something so intricate and yet so small.

"Ah, young man, looking to buy one of the lantern charms?"

Speak of the devil! Lloyd nearly jumped out of his skin, gaze snapping up to find that the jovial, bearded stall owner was now right in front of him. The last Lloyd saw of him, he’d been engaged in a fervent discussion with another patron, and that had been just moments ago. How had such a large figure manoeuvred in front of him without any noise at all?!

“No, no! Just window shopping at the moment!” Lloyd quickly clarified, acutely aware of how light the sack of Gald in his pocket was.

“Lanterns? These are lanterns?” Colette interjected, head cocked and hands clasped before her chest. “I’ve never seen lanterns like these before…” When she heard the word “lantern”, she thought of fragile glass and cold metal grips, a flame burning with the faint whiff of kerosene, chasing away the foreboding darkness of winding caverns.

“Ah, I thought you might not be locals. I’ve never seen you around before.”

“Yeah, we’re just passing through. Never been to this town in Sylvarant before, so we thought why not?” Lloyd replied.

“It’s always nice to see travellers now that the Desians are gone,” the shopkeeper said with a hearty chuckle, his smile hidden by bushy black bristles. “To answer your question, young lady, these are indeed lanterns. It has been this town’s proud tradition to make these lanterns and hold an annual festival involving them, where we send them to the Goddess above. Though we’ve only been able to do so again with the Chosen's success. We’re actually holding our second one tonight!”

“A festival?” Colette squealed, clapping her hands together. If she weren’t in the middle of town and surrounded by dozens of other people who could clearly see her, Lloyd thought to himself with a smile, she certainly would have started jumping up and down on the balls of her feet like an excited child.

For that was precisely who she was allowed to be, now that she no longer had to labour under the title of Chosen. The child that had been buried for so long in favour of performing her duty could now come to the forefront. She could show her excitement over experiencing all the strange and delightful customs of each town they came across, whether it be Sylvaranti or Tethe'allan. And it was always so endearing to witness, the clear delight on her face, and it gave Lloyd even more motivation to continue this journey across the reunited world. Both to collect the Exspheres, and to let Colette experience everything this beautiful world had to offer, now that it was no longer denied from her.

“Yes. Everyone is encouraged to participate! All you need to do is purchase one of the lanterns, light it up, and release it into the sky! You can even write custom messages on the sides. Most people choose to write wishes, such that the Goddess can grant them.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Colette’s eyes were shining just as brightly as the gems on the cart. Lloyd was sure that she had built a vivid picture of the festival in her mind, what with her bright imagination honed from years of daydreaming as she sat within the cold walls of the Church of Martel, wanting desperately to escape but only able to do so in her head.

A festival sounded like a wonderful experience to him as well. All festivals were, events that exuded a magical aura as all types of people, strangers, friends, lovers and family alike, came together in one place just to celebrate and have a fun time. He hadn’t gotten to participate in that many, but he’d love to go to more.

"Lloyd, do you want to go?" Colette asked, nudging him in the side.

That was all it took for Lloyd's smile to slip into a small frown. Colette's terrible habit was rearing its ugly head again.

It had taken him a while to pick up on it, to learn to parse through what was innate to Colette’s personality and what was Chosen behaviour. But once he did, it was rather hard to ignore. The accursed mention of “Lloyd, do you want to…” had started to grate on his nerves - she’d done it with regards to the summer festival at Mizuho, and the newly revamped Altamiran theme park, and likely a thousand other times throughout all the years he’d known her that he hadn’t noticed. Asking was all fine and dandy, but only if she expressed her own desires first.

She always did this. Disguised her desires in the form of questions posed to others, too afraid to just do things for herself. She still thought she needed justification to let loose and just enjoy herself, despite her own happiness being justification enough.

Time to flip her question on its head.

"Do you want to go? To release a lantern?" he countered, eyes narrowing as he held her in a stare.

"Uh - uh, I -" Colette stuttered, fumbling at the unexpected turn of conversation, unable to look away from those intense russet eyes. "Well, we're low on Gald! And you did say you wanted to make it back to Iselia by next week, so if we stay a night -"

"That's not what I asked," he interrupted, taking hold of her hand. He didn't like being this forceful with her, but it was required. She needed to learn to ask for herself, and giving excuses was not the way. "I asked if you wanted to."

There was silence as Colette bowed her head, her hair hiding her face. It was but moments later that she raised it again, uncertainty painted across her face. "I… Would like to go... With you… And release a lantern together," she whispered haltingly, like it hurt to get the words out, shy blue eyes meeting his again. For her, it likely did, battling against her instinct to swallow the words down and the fear that there would be retribution, whether from invisible priests or the world at large.

There would be no retribution, not if he had anything to say about it. He squeezed her hand, giving her an affirming nod.

That's it. I’m so proud of you.

A small smile graced her face.

"Then it's settled!" Lloyd declared with gusto, turning back to the stall owner, who’d been watching the whole exchange in silence. “Uh, except the cost. How much is it?” He expected he’d have to haggle; they really didn’t have much Gald left. But no matter how, by hook or by crook, he would make this happen.

The stall owner burst into roaring laughter, slamming a hand on the cart. “For you two, free of charge!”

“What, really?” Lloyd blurted out, hardly able to believe his ears. Surely this was a deal that was too good to be true?

“Yes, really! Take it as payment for putting such a large smile on my face. Go down to the fields at sundown. I’ll meet the two of you there with a lantern. In return, spread the news of our festival to your friends! And if you choose to return next year, you can pay the full price.”

“Thank you so much, mister!” Colette said. “We’ll be sure to tell all our friends! I’m sure they’ll love the idea so much that they’ll all turn up next year!”

“Ha! I like the sound of that!”

Confirming the details of the meetup, Lloyd thanked the stall owner profusely before walking away hand-in-hand with Colette.

“He was very nice,” Colette muttered.

“That he was. So we shouldn’t waste the opportunity.”

Colette mumbled her agreement, that small smile still on her face, soothing Lloyd’s worry that he might have pushed her too far.

There was still the issue of lunch, though. His stomach was growling, and Colette must have been hungry from all the walking they’d done in the morning. But this time, he’d cut her some slack. He couldn’t expect change to occur immediately - it would take time, possibly years.

“Want to go get lunch at that place we saw down the road that sells dumplings? We’ve never tried it before, and Sheena said it was good.”

Receiving Colette’s enthusiastic agreement, (and spotting the relieved slump of her shoulders,) they set off, their fingers tightly locked together. And after lunch, there would be enough time to explore this town to the fullest.

~~~

Colette stood back on the grassy hill, watching the stall owner (whose name she still hadn’t learned), kneeling on the ground and carefully lighting a match. Lloyd stood slightly closer, observing with a keen eye. He was most likely trying to figure out the craftsmanship of the lantern; he’d been obsessed since he’d first seen the charms. She was more interested in the knot, and would likely be spending an afternoon at Dirk’s playing with string trying to recreate it. She didn’t think that would end very well, and a lot of untangling from Dirk and Lloyd’s end would be required, but it would be fun!

Standing too close to the stall owner ran the risk of her accidentally starting a fire, and that would have horrific consequences on plains of short grass such as these, so she was going to keep a safe distance.

As agreed, she and Lloyd had met up with the stall owner at the rolling hills behind the town, though not before exploring every nook and cranny of the town, with its curving arches and winding, narrow streets, watching the children play games with toys she had never seen before and having the honour of joining in. The stall owner had been in the process of unfolding a compact square of an unknown material, unveiling a lantern that was half her height and fitting it with something that resembled a lamp without the glass covering. (How did that fit into a small square?) After which, he’d lent them brushes whose tips were drenched in dark red ink, asking them to write whatever they wanted on the side of the lantern.

Enraptured with the idea of granting wishes, she had written the first thing that had come to mind before she lost her courage to do so. Lloyd had smiled after seeing her wish, choosing not to write another and only adding his name under hers, causing her to giggle as she tried her best not to trip and dot him in ink.

The sun had still been peeking over the hill when they’d arrived here, but in the time it had taken to finish their preparations, it had sunk out of sight, leaving behind only a harsh pink that was quickly being chased away by sparkling stars.

“It’s done!” the stall owner called out, standing up while keeping a secure grip on the side of the lantern. The fire was contained inside the lantern, causing the sides to be lit up in gentle orange light and the tiny words to stick out in harsh red. She’d noticed that quite a lot of things in this town were red. Maybe it was an auspicious colour to them?

Colette ran over to join Lloyd, accepting the lantern from the stall owner so that she was holding one side and Lloyd was holding the other, standing across from her. She could feel the heat of the flame licking at her fingers, chasing away the chill of the night. The lantern was fighting to escape her hold, the surge of hot air doing its absolute best to propel it towards the heavens, where it belonged.

“You can let go at any time,” the stall owner clarified. “Once that’s done, you can sit here and watch your lantern for as long as you want! I’ll be joining my family and giving you two some alone time now.”

“Thank you, mister!” Colette called out after the diminishing silhouette of the stall owner, until he disappeared amongst the throng of others. It seemed like the entire town and then some had turned up for the festival, populating the plains with head upon head. Somehow, upon this one hill, they were the only two present, free to soak in each other’s company.

“On the count of 3?” Lloyd offered, drawing her attention back to him. The flickering flame of the lantern cast him in the same orange light, the tips of his hair catching most of it and rendering the strands an even lighter brown, the features of his face soft while his lower half was covered in twisting shadow. A truly magical sight.

“Okay.”

“1…”

“2…” she joined in.

“3!” they cheered together, throwing the lantern into the sky and angling their heads up to watch.

The lantern rose fast into the sky, wobbling a little in its journey but remaining steadfast. The weather was good today, with no hint of a raincloud and only a gentle breeze that would pose no problems. Theirs was one of the first lanterns, joining the dozen that had already made their way into the clear sky to play by the moon, darkness having fully fallen.

Feeling a tug on her sleeve, she found that Lloyd had settled himself on the grass and was gesturing for her to join him. She did just that, the two of them sitting in silence side-by-side for a few minutes as more and more people released their lanterns.

"Sorry if I was too hard on you in the morning," Lloyd whispered, finally breaking the silence as he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"No, it was necessary," she replied, taking his hand and squeezing. "You were just trying to help me. Besides, you've more than made up for it today. And I know I need to start thinking about myself more. It's just… Hard.”

It was difficult, to push past the echoes of the priests in her mind, telling her that as Chosen she had to conduct herself with the utmost grace and not indulge in cravings. That accepting gifts from others were already pushing the line, not to mention asking for things. It wasn’t proper.

“I'm -"

"Stop right there," Lloyd interjected, pressing a finger against her lips, a slightly exasperated smile on his face. “No apologising for what isn’t your fault, remember?”

“Ah, right! I’m - Okay, I’m just going to stop talking,” Colette muttered with flushed cheeks, clapping her hand over her mouth as she let her head fall onto his shoulder. She’d gotten better, but whenever she fell back into one habit, she tended to fall into all of them at once.

At least she could stop herself now. And she wanted to shed those behaviours, not only for herself, but to stop seeing the sad frown on Lloyd’s face. He continued to blame himself for not catching on sooner, for unknowingly encouraging those habits, when it wasn’t his fault.

Lloyd chuckled, leaning his head on hers. “It’s alright. I know it’s not going to be easy, but all you need to do is take baby steps. And I’ll be here to help you.”

“I know you will.”

“Let’s just enjoy the view now, shall we?”

“Mm.”

Above them, there were a thousand pinpricks of light as the lanterns rose into the sky. So many and so dense that they seemed to outnumber the stars themselves, though she knew that was impossible. Or perhaps the lanterns were golden stars, each holding a precious wish that its owner hoped could come true with all their heart, prayed would reach the Goddess. It almost reminded her of gazing up at the grand chandelier adorned with candles that hung in the sanctum of the Church, but instead of a sight that filled her heart with melancholy, the sight before her now was a breathtaking and uplifting one, even if she knew there was no Goddess in the sky.

For surely, if this many people came together with a common dedication, a miracle could still occur to grant these wondrous wishes.

She could barely see their lantern now - it was both lost among the crowd and too high up, the words she’d written on it too far away to make out. But they were still held in her heart.

I wish that I can continue exploring this incredible world together with you.

Mayhap it was a selfish wish. It would have been more appropriate for the Chosen to wish for the good of the world. But she wasn’t the Chosen anymore. Besides, she was sure other people had made such a wish. And… If the wishes contained within all these lanterns were to come true, would the world not be a better, happier place? Would there not be a brighter tomorrow awaiting all of them?

“I’d like to come back next year,” she said, trying her best to push out the desires in her heart, to stop battling against guilt that she knew she should not need to feel. “Maybe with all of our friends?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Maybe my wish will be different next year.

She snuggled closer into Lloyd’s warmth, enjoying the feel of his arms around her, both a comforting blanket and an impregnable shield.

I don’t think it will.

[love-killed-the-superstar]

yo im back at it again, this time for cassunzel week!! these ficlets will all take place in the same fic-verse as my cass week fics, which you can read here!

CASSUNZEL WEEK DAY 1 - HOMECOMING

On the day of her 22nd birthday, Rapunzel is radiant.

She must have known the surprise party was coming – how could she not, what with the whole of Corona buzzing with anticipation? – but still, she shrieks with delight all the same as the room erupts with cheer. She’s changed a little since the last time Cass saw her; her eyes sparkle a little brighter, her shoulders are less tense. Her happily ever after was only just beginning with Cassandra’s departure, but now – now she’s truly at peace.

Despite her initial decision to join Eugene and Lance at the front of the room in order to greet Rapunzel, Cass finds herself looking for a place to hide. Part of her doesn’t want Rapunzel to notice her right here and now, with the whole of the kingdom watching. She’s excited to greet her, of course, and give her a hug (maybe more, if her nerves cooperate), but… she just doesn’t know how to act with everybody else there. The new nature of their relationship isn’t exactly public knowledge, after all, and the last thing she wants is to cause some sort of uproar on Rapunzel’s birthday of all days.

So she hangs back, for once grateful at how tall and broad Lance is in comparison to her. Rapunzel begins to gush about the decorations, running over to hug her parents tightly, before making her way over to Eugene to give him the hug and kiss he’s earned for being such an efficient party planner.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit, sunshine,” he rambles, looking all too pleased with himself. “Everyone helped make this place a success. Oh, but I can take credit for keeping a certain someone – pardon the pun – under wraps…”

Cass considers leaving him hanging, but the second-hand embarrassment would be too much, even with Eugene getting the brunt of it. So she awkwardly side-steps out from behind Lance and gives a sheepish wave. Rapunzel’s face, set in confusion at Eugene’s awkward trail-off, morphs into one of pure amazement as her eyes meet Cassandra’s.

“CASS!!” She launches herself at Cassandra at full speed, leaving her winded from the impact.

“Oof. Hey, Raps. Ha, long time no see.”

Rapunzel’s arms wind round her tightly, scooping her further into the hug, and Cass returns it a little stiffly, glancing around as the rest of the party watch on in amusement. Lance is grinning like a fool, issuing a double thumbs-up, while Eugene simply offers a lopsided grin and a nod that she’s guessing he’s trying to equate to a sense of approval. The queen’s lips quirk up into a mile, but otherwise gives nothing away, while the king clears his throat and stares at the floor.

“Eugene said you couldn’t make it!” Rapunzel cries. “He said you were probably scaling a mountain or sailing between kingdoms or dodging a bounty hunter!”

“Oh, did he now? Dodging a bounty hunter, Fitzherbert, really? Unlike you, I don’t make enemies everywhere I go.”

“With your delightful personality, that genuinely surprises me,” he retorts, grinning all the same.

Ignoring him, she turns her attention back to Raps and pulls away to face her. “Well, regardless, I’m here now . Happy birthday, Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel reaches for her hands, entwining them, and for a moment Cass feels a horrific sense of deja vu – standing in the moonstone’s chamber, Rapunzel’s hair a swaying golden beacon, their fingers laced and faces close, such a tender moment and all the while, intense betrayal and anguish and hatred is tearing through her, clawing to get out–

But this isn’t then, this is now. And she is beautiful.

Rapunzel beams at Cass, but there’s a flicker of recognition in her eyes that roots them to the spot, just for a moment. She feels it too, Cass realises with a sinking feeling.

But in an act so defiant, as though to challenge the power of that awful memory, Rapunzel draws Cassandra’s gloved hands up to her lips and kisses them, just for a moment. Cass is pretty sure she can hear the king’s jaw drop in disbelief, but she’s far too shocked herself to glance over at him to confirm that. Rapunzel, oblivious to the surprise of those around her, quickly drops their hands and slings an arm around Cass’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear as she turns to address the crowd.

“Thank you all so much for coming, and for celebrating my birthday on this fine day! Now,” she says brightly, “shall we let the celebration begin?”

From over the resounding cheer of the crowd, Cass hears Eugene burst out laughing behind them.

…

As far as Coronan celebrations go (of which there are far too many to commit to memory, in Cassandra’s opinion), this is one of the more enjoyable ones. The king and queen’s birthday festivities are usually more of a formal affair - there’s typically a banquet held within the castle and a more general celebration held in the courtyard for the public. Rapunzel, ever the fan of blurring the lines, has managed to merge the two somehow. The end result is an enormous buffet-style spread, two dance floors accompanied with separate musicians (one in the throne room they were decorating earlier with a formal string quartet, and one outside in the courtyard with a rowdier folk band that often performs at The Snuggly Duckling), and a whole lot of chaos.

Well, at least there are no gophers to chase after.

Cass, for the most part, has been hanging around the edges of the throne room to keep a low profile. People have been side-eyeing her all afternoon, though whether it's from the affectionate interaction with Rapunzel earlier or the whole former-enemy-of-the-kingdom thing remains to be seen. Either way, it’s better to avoid engaging with people when possible. Out in the courtyard, Rapunzel and Lance are caught up in some complicated jig of sorts, light on their feet and faces flushed with exertion as they dominate the dance floor. This gives Eugene the perfect opportunity to side up to her, a spare tumbler of punch in his hand. Pascal rests on his shoulder, watching Rapunzel’s dance in a similar trance.

“Thirsty?” he prompts, holding it out to her. She takes the drink from him and utters, “Parched, just from watching them.”

He laughs, and leans against the wall. “So, are you glad to be back?”

“Sure. I mean, I’ve missed it all, more than I thought I would. But…”

“But let me guess, you mostly came back for Rapunzel?” he finishes. “And now you’re pissed because you’ve barely spent a minute with her since the PDA fiasco that sent you scuttling right into the corner?”

The accuracy stings, it truly does. She goes to protest, but both Eugene and Pascal fix her with knowing looks. Cass hangs her head with a deep sigh.

“That obvious, huh?”

“Well yeah, everyone knows that Rapunzel is your favourite person in the world,” he says with a shrug. “And I know public affection isn’t your thing, at all. Here, hold this for me.”

He holds out his own cup for her and she takes it, eyeing him dubiously as he reaches for a small silver flask in his jacket pocket. He sprinkles a few drops into his drink.

“It all just took me by surprise, that’s all.” Cass sips at her drink gloomily and hands his cup back to him. “I didn’t hate it.”

“Still, here you are. Miserable in the face of festivities as always,” Eugene sighs, nudging her with his elbow in amusement. He takes a sip of his seasoned drink, smacking his lips in satisfaction. Still perched on his shoulder, Pascal shakes his head in exasperation. “Whoo, that’s better. You know what that punch bowl needs? Some rum in it. You want some?”

“I’ll pass, thanks.”

She rolls her eyes at him, but tones down the aggression. After all, he’s right; why did she even bother to come back for Rapunzel’s birthday, if she’s just going to bring the mood down?

“I’ll… try harder not to be such a downer,” she offers.

“How noble of you. You know, you should just tell Rapunzel you want some time alone with her, she won’t exactly turn that offer down,” he points out.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to pull her away from the party, she’s having fun .”

“She has fun with you .” As the song comes to an end, leaving Rapunzel being dramatically dipped by Lance, she catches Eugene’s eye from across the floor and waves. He waves back, before beckoning her over.

“Don’t,” Cass warns. Predictably, he ignores her.

“Hey! What’s up, guys?” Rapunzel asks breathlessly as she bounds over. “Did you see our dance? Lance is a natural, who knew?”

“It was something, all right,” Cass begins, draining the last of her drink and setting it aside.

“Yeah, it was great! But listen, sunshine. Your girlfriend here,” Eugene says matter-of-factly, jerking his thumb towards her, “who has travelled many miles to be here today, is lonely. Now, you’ve danced with me and Lance and your parents and it’s been great, but our girl Cass here is more of the wallflower type, so why don’t you two find somewhere private and catch up, huh?”

“Eugene!” snaps Cass, mortified.

“Sorry, Cass!” Rapunzel apologises immediately, reaching for her hand. “I didn’t realise, I got so swept up in all the dancing and cheer-”

“Rapunzel, it’s fine,” Cass interrupts. “More than fine. It’s your birthday, you should spend it however you want!”

“Sure, but… if we’re being honest with each other, Cass, I would like some time with you,” Rapunzel admits, squeezing Cassandra’s hand. Cass squeezes back, before quickly dropping it. “I mean, since we can’t be all… you know, ourselves in public at this point.”

Guilt stakes Cass through the heart at that. She shouldn’t have let go so fast.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Raps, it’s just still a bit-”

“Hey, no, only happy stuff today, please!” Eugene intervenes. He claps a hand on both their backs and begins steering them towards the back exit of the throne room. “Now, I think you two should duck out now, find a quiet place away from the chaos down here. Go talk. Give presents. Make out if you want, I don’t care. The frog and I can hold down the fort. Oh, but we’re setting off the lanterns in an hour, so don’t stay too long, okay? All right, have fun!”

And with that, the door swings shut behind them, leaving the two of them alone.

…

Eugene did them a favour, really. Cass will have to thank him later.

Walking through the empty castle walls in silence, they eventually find themselves climbing the small tower overlooking the training grounds; a spot they’ve spent countless afternoons in before, idly watching the soldiers train. Cass would silently watch on while pouring tea or adjusting a tray of watercolour paints, envying each and every one of them, all while pretending not to feel Rapunzel’s wistful eyes burning holes into her from behind. This time, after opening the trap door and helping her up, she holds Rapunzel’s gaze with equal yearning. God, it’s been far too long since she’s had Rapunzel all to herself.

The first thing they do, after the trap door slams shut, is kiss. It’s quick, and Cass still finds herself glancing around furtively in case of any curious onlookers, but they’re blissfully alone besides from one soldier posted at the edge of the grounds.

“He’s too far away to see anything,” Rapunzel remarks, already able to read Cassandra’s thoughts perfectly. “Now, can I kiss you again?”

The impatience in her voice sends a giggle rippling through Cass, and she nods, reaching for Rapunzel's waist and pulling her in for a second kiss; one that she can almost feel her smiling through. Fuck, she's missed this.

“So,” she says, leaning back against the wall as Rapunzel stands giggling before her, “good birthday, Raps?”

“Best birthday!” she declares sunnily.

“Oh, really? Best birthday? Better than escaping the tower and reuniting with your long-lost family?”

Rapunzel stops, and hums in thought. “Okay, fine, you’re right. Second best birthday.”

“That’s more like it.” Cass turns to stare out at the twilight sky ahead. “It’s a beautiful day for a birthday, Rapunzel, I have to say.”

“Isn’t it just?” Rapunzel sighs, scooting up beside her. “Every year I used to look out the window of the tower and stare at a sky like this. Even though I knew the lanterns set off at nightfall, I would just sit and watch the sky grow pinker and darker in anticipation for it. Even now, I have this… this jittery feeling in my chest.”

“Brings back some mixed emotions, huh?”

Rapunzel nods, her smile falling slightly. “It feels like a whole lifetime ago. I suppose it is now. Hey, what were my birthdays like for you, before I was here?”

Cass shrugs. “Castle life largely went on as normal, I guess. Your parents were sad, of course, so there was this air of mourning in the palace, even though the townspeople treated it more as a celebration of your life and the hope of your return. We would leave little messages inside each lantern, it was kind of a custom everyone followed.”

“Did you write me lanterns?” Rapunzel asks, turning to her with raised eyebrows.

“Everybody did, it’s not a big deal,” Cass starts, feeling the beginnings of a blush creeping in as she remembers the kind of things she used to write. “You remember all the lanterns we found on Terapi Island.”

“Yeah, but I never thought to look for yours! Do you remember the kind of things you wrote?” she probes, grinning from ear to ear. “Come on, Cass, tell me! It’s my birthday, you have to!”

Rapunzel bears those big eyes, ones Cass used to be able to say no to, and she curses that Rapunzel’s love has made her so soft inside.

“Fine. Ugh. Um, let’s see, I used to… okay, now don’t laugh.”

“I won’t!” Rapunzel promises, hand on heart, although her eyes are already beginning to crinkle in anticipation.

“You’d better not! Um. Okay, so when I was younger I had this… this dumb idea that maybe when I was older and stronger I could like – rescue you. Me and Max or Fidella would go on a lone journey, searching the lands far and wide for the lost princess, and we’d bring you home and I would, you know… be promoted to the guard.”

She cringes at the very fantasy her young mind used to entertain as Rapunzel squeals beside her.

“Oh, Cass! That’s just-”

“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” Cass reminds her with a grumble, burying her head in her hands.

“I’m not laughing , it’s just so sweet! You really wanted to bring me home?”

“Yeah. For a time. As I grew older and I was stuck doing maid duties, I kind of gave up on that particular dream, but then one day… there you were. And our lives got all mixed up after the fact.”

Rapunzel reaches over to rest her hand atop Cassandra’s, squeezing lightly.

“I’m glad they did. I don’t know what my life would be like without you, Cass, but I don’t regret it.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad,” Cass says wryly. “You’d still have Eugene.”

“I couldn’t picture my life without either of you,” Rapunzel insists. “Don’t act like you aren’t both equally important to me.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Cass reaches with her free hand to fish around in her pocket. “Hey, Rapunzel. Close your eyes.”

“Oh, okay.” She twists her face towards Cass and shuts her eyes, before pursing her lips expectantly. Cass rolls her eyes fondly.

“Okay, hotshot, not what I was going for. Hold out your hand.”

“Can I still get a kiss though?”

“Later. Hand, now.”

Cass takes out the bracelets she fashioned this morning from the blue stones of the lagoon and carefully fastens one around Rapunzel’s outstretched wrist. They’re nothing too special to look at, honestly; a little clumsier than the ones that Rapunzel originally made, for sure. The gesture will surely make up for it, though.

Rapunzel’s eyes open, and she gasps.

“You remade our lagoon bracelets?!” Rapunzel’s eyes are alight with amazement. “But you hate making jewellery!”

Cass shrugs. She isn’t about to go into detail about what a pain in the ass it was to thread the bracelets, and the number of times she stabbed her fingers in the process. She’d thanked the stars for her gloves being so sturdy. “Ehh. I hate making jewellery most of the time. I can make an exception when it comes to you.”

“Cass, they’re beautiful! I don’t know what to say!” Rapunzel hugs her tightly, pressing several kisses to her cheek when she pulls back again. “But I thought you said they should be returned to sacred ground?”

“Well, yeah, I did, but I’ve, um… I’ve actually been studying a little Saporian on the road,” Cass admits sheepishly. “A bit of language, a bit of the history. Just to pass the time on rainy days when it’s hard to travel, you know? Anyway, I found a history book that spoke of Herz Der Sonne and General Champanier. Did you know, they each wore matching pendants until the day they died? Matching blue pendants, the historians say.”

“The lagoon stones,” breathes Rapunzel. Cass nods.

“They were most likely buried in them, so I reckon we may never know for sure, but…” Cass bows her head to avoid Rapunzel’s eyes as she adds, “Since the lagoon was where they fell in love, it’s understandable that the blue stones were significant to them.”

“Just like they’re significant to us.” Rapunzel’s voice is soft, barely above a whisper, and full of awe. Cass swallows and nods.

“I… I thought, if the people who discovered this lagoon allowed themselves to take mementos without the world ending…”

Rapunzel’s hands find hers in the fast-fading light, winding tightly together.

“I will treasure this, Cassandra, for the rest of my days. Hey, maybe we can get buried wearing these too?” Her voice is light, teasing, but beneath that airy joke is something a little more… personal. Permanent. It makes Cass’s heart soar.

Rapunzel leans in and kisses her softly. “I love them. I love you .”

Cass melts a little, at that. “Oh. Oh, I… Yeah. Me too.”

“Here, give me the bracelet.” Rapunzel takes the other bracelet from Cassandra’s outstretched hand and ties it around her wrist. “Now, maybe it’s not the most practical thing to wear it over the glove, but it’ll be fine for tonight. Here, now we match!”

They hold their arms up against the glare of the rapidly setting sun, watching the light gleam through the stones. They glitter like they do beneath the waves of the lagoon, if only temporarily.

“You know… You feel different now, Cass.”

Cass cocks her head to the side, trying to work out what exactly Rapunzel means by that statement as she watches dreamily as the sun disappears below the highest turrets of the castle, distorting the colour of the grounds below. Has she picked up some kind of accent on the road that makes her sound off to native Coronans? Have the facial scars distorted her appearance too much? Is she acting haughty, aloof, more so than before thanks to her time on the road?

“I’m different?” Cass prompts.

“Not in a bad way,” Raps laughs, eyes crinkling with her smile. Her gaze roams over Cass, fully taking her in, before she adds on decidedly, “It’s just the way you are now. I don’t think I could describe it fully, but the life in you, it’s so different to how you were when… when you were at your lowest. It makes me proud of the person you’ve become.”

Cass is stunned. It’s not that she didn’t expect Rapunzel to comment on this; no, she knew she would be praised in some form, because Rapunzel simply can’t help trying to uplift people whenever she can. But she hadn’t prepared for Rapunzel to cut to the heart of the matter so quickly. It’s foolish, she knows, to think that Raps wouldn’t be able to see the effort Cass has taken to become this new version of herself. It’s an image she can’t always keep up, but it’s something she has worked hard towards before feeling ready to show her face around here again.

Rapunzel being proud of her is, shockingly, the remedy that she’s craved since the moment she stepped through the gates.

“You think I’m different now?” Cass bleats uselessly, unable to stop that goofy smile from creeping in. Rapunzel grins and leans over, pecking her forehead quickly before retreating.

“I think you’re getting closer to your authentic self. And it makes me really love you.”

Cass laughs nervously, swivelling away to watch over the field down below so that hopefully Rapunzel can’t see just how flushed she’s become.

As they lapse into a comfortable silence, the rumble of footsteps begin to flood the corridors leading out onto the training pitch. Cass strains her eyes and realises, as light fills each corner of the grounds, that all of the partygoers are congregating onto the pitch below, each holding a lit paper lantern.

“So this is where they’re setting them off,” Rapunzel remarks. “We’ve been caught out. Just our luck.”

“Well, Fitzherbert could have been more specific,” grumbles Cass, without any real venom in her tone. After all, she still owes him one for pushing the two of them into some alone time in the first place. “I guess we should head down and join them.”

“I suppose,” Rapunzel says, almost sounding disappointed at having to cut their time short. “Hey, did you make a lantern this time?”

“Of course. It’s nothing fancy, though. You know that artsy stuff isn’t really my strong suit.”

“I don’t know, Cass. You did make us these bracelets, after all…”

Rapunzel, glancing between the slowly gathering crowd and Cassandra’s face, makes a split-second decision and kisses her cheek once more, before crouching down to pull the door hatch open. Damn, what Cass wouldn’t give for this to be a boat they could undock from the walls of Corona and sail off into the night, away from all these prying eyes. Anything to squeeze a few extra minutes out of this situation.

Fiddling with her hands, she pipes up, “...I could say the same about you, you know.”

Rapunzel pulls the hatch open and cranes her neck to look back at her, brow furrowed in confusion.

“What’s that?”

“About being different now? You’re growing into yourself too,” Cass continues, moving to sit down on the floor, away from the curious view of the gathering crowd below. “I remember how terrified you were at the prospect of running a kingdom, but just look at all this! Seems to me that you’ve really come into your own since I’ve been gone.”

Rapunzel sits back beside her, face glowing at Cassandra’s compliment.

“Well, I love this place! And now that the magic, sundrop, saving the world destiny is behind us, I have more time to focus on this destiny instead. Turns out, it suits me more than I ever believed it would.”

“I haven’t seen Corona this happy and at peace in a long time. Whatever Rapunzel Positivity you’ve been spreading to the people, it’s working.”

“Hopefully it’ll stay this way for a little while longer.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and peeks over at her, meadow-green eyes bearing into hers. “I’m so glad you came back, Cass.”

“I’m glad too. You really believed I wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to come back for your birthday?”

“I didn’t know how far away you might be!” Rapunzel points out. “If you were all the way across the continent I wouldn’t expect you to make it back in time, and you haven’t written to me in weeks!”

“Because I was travelling!”

“Well, I’d still like to know next time!” Rapunzel takes a playful swing at her arm and Cass dodges, unable to hold back her laughter any longer. It doesn’t take long for Rapunzel to follow suit, their heads resting together as they giggle in the semi-darkness. When at last they’ve run out of steam, Rapunzel peeks over the rim of the tower.

“I see Eugene. Looks like he’s holding an extra lantern.”

“Probably mine,” Cass offers. “Since everybody else is accounted for but us.”

“Guess that’s our cue to head down there, then.” Rapunzel begins to climb down the ladder, before stopping, just as her head pokes out the top of the door. “So, did you write a poem in yours, or…”

“I’m not telling you!” Cass insists, poking her nose with a grin. “If you’re lucky I’ll let you squint at it through the paper before we set them off.”

“Well, is it romantic?” Rapunzel probes. Cass smiles inwardly as she recalls the words she wrote for Rapunzel, short and sweet, knowing that they’ll wind up on Terapi Island with no one to read them but the lorbs.

I love you, Raps. And for as long as the sun shines, I will never stop.

“...Maybe.” Lowering her voice to a whisper, Cass adds conspiratorially, “But you can’t tell anybody.”

Rapunzel mimes sealing her lips. “It goes to the grave,” she says seriously. “Now. One more kiss before we go?”

Rolling her eyes, Cass leans down to bridge the gap.

[queerchoicesblog]

Broken Dreams

Hiya, folks! So, as previously announced, the wlw writing project continues after a break with a miniseries set back in the City of Lights - & Love - at the time of the Belle Epoque, at the turn of the century.

The story of Élodie and Léa continues a bit later than usual but here we are!

Next and final chapter of this story will be out next week: stay tuned for the finale!

Tagging: @scottishqueer​

Previous chapters: Paris, Paris ; One Night At The Moulin Rouge , The Handkerchief, The Cage of Fools,  La Vie Bohème

Hope you enjoy it: if you do, please consider spreading the word!

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The morning after, I arrive home early. When I left the apartment, Élodie was still sleeping, wrapped in a shawl. I enter my room like a ghost, I take off my favourite dress, so carefully picked last night, and let myself fall to the bed like a dead body, feeling empty and heavy at the same time. I close my eyes and doze off for an hour or two, I cannot tell. I am awaken by the voice of Marie in the other room. My friend is back. I sigh and stand, joining her and my roommates in the kitchen after putting on my robe. When she sees me, her smile is soon replaced by a concerned expression: I don't look well, am I feeling alright? No, actually not really, no. I feel sick and hurt and tired and I barely slept. A roommate dismisses her concerns, informing her that my night out is probably to blame. "Yes, I went out with some of the girls last night and I suppose I had a bit too much" I confirm: sometimes a white lie is easier than the truth. It is now,at least. "Girls...we believe she has a secret lover" the other says, handing Marie a glass of milk and a small plate of biscuits. Their words hurt more than they surely meant with their idle maliciousness: I wouldn't have given them much thought under normal circumstances, but they ring differently after Élodie's party and refusal.

My friend can't refrain a surprised gasp. "Is it true, Léa? You didn't tell me anything" "If she did, it would no longer be a secret affair" the first who spoke argues. "No, Marie, it's just a crazy theory of the ladies here" I sigh, taking a seat too. "How was your journey?" Luckily, my abrupt shift of topic works. Sipping her milk, Marie tells me of her stay in Argenteuil. Being back home after all that time has been nice and weird at the same time: so much has changed since the day she left. Her mother's hair is now turning grey and his little brother announced his engagement to the butcher's daughter, a shy gracious girl named Marguerite: they'll marry next year. Despite what the doctors feared, her Aunt is now recovering, slowly but steadily. The illness debilitated her quite a lot as she's still among the living, which is all that matters. Marie's mother is looking after her now: she's in good hands. Our conversation distracts me but less than usual. I try not to notice. I join the three of them for a late breakfast even if I have little appetite, out of inertia. Then, I go back to my room, Marie in tow. As she start unpacking her bag, I lay back on the bed, unsure of what to do. I wrap myself in the blankets, overcome by a sudden cold. "Why don't you get some rest? It helps with hungovers" she suggests, folding her clothes. I look at her, wondering if "hungover" is truly what makes me feel so wrecked. What last night truly was, a side effect of vie bohème. "Are you nursing me?" I smile weakly. "Of course, you're my friend!" she chuckles, throwing me a sympathetic look. "Close your eyes, I'll be as quiet as a little mouse" Too tired and heartbroken to protest, I do as she says. I slowly descend into a dreamless slumber, a sweet merciful oblivion I anchor to like the victim of a shipwreck holds on to a piece of wood floating in a dark stormy sea. Isn't a shipwreck a good metaphor for my condition? I dared too much and tumbled overboard... Over the weeks that follow, I do my best to blend in my old life as if nothing happened and it was all a dream, a gorgeous dream I had to wake up from sooner or later. I work twice as hard as I used to and my efforts don't go unnoticed, especially now that we have so many orders and so little time on our hands. One day our infamous supervisor gave me an appreciative look and a surprisingly polite smile: keep up the good job and a promotion might be in store in the new year, she said. Marie overheard and winked at me from her desk. As the year inexorably comes to an end, we don't get to see our friends as often as we used to before she left but we keep in touch somehow and make plans for the New Year's Eve celebrations. Something to look up to, right? Life goes back to the way it was and I am grateful. Yet I cannot fool myself, I know it too painfully well. I miss Élodie terribly, unbearably but I don't dare to try and see her again. I avoid crossing Pigalle and Montmartre, I keep my distance from the Moulin Rouge. After what she said, I think she wouldn't like to see me. I've waited weeks for a letter, a note, whatever sign from her but nothing came. It hurts, especially at night when at times sleep is slow to come and I am left all alone with my thoughts. I shut my eyes and she is there, laughing as we gallop down the corridor, whispering my name like a prayer, kissing my lips in the moonlight. Then she dissolves when morning comes, an hurtful remainder that she's gone. A week before Christmas, Marie reads me a letter from home: after hearing what I did for her while she was away, her family invites me to spend the festivities at Argenteuil. If I have no plans to travel back to Roscoff, they would be delighted to have me as a guest. Of course going back home is out of question, so I accept. They welcome me with the warmth everyone would reserve to a relative they don't see often but who hold a special place in their hearts and I must confess, it touches me. Marie and her brother show me around while her mother cook us one of the best meals I have ever had. Even Aunt Odette helps, despite Marie's concerns. Sitting at their table, listening stories and eating a delicious Galette Des Rois, I feel at home, for a moment. I wish I could have felt that way in Roscoff too but it never happened. We leave after an interminable series of hugs and wishes. Marie's father makes me promise to attend the wedding next year, I offer to help sewing the wedding dresses, the groom's and Marguerite's. They all keep waving at us until our carriage takes a turn and disappear from view. We arrive back in Paris just in time for the New Year's celebrations: we greet 1890 drinking cheap champagne and dancing by the river, barely acknowledging the sleet withening the streets of the City of Lights. On our way back home, we share our dreams and hopes for the new year before the mad routines of our lives sets back into motion. I must say that for once I am thankful to the routine I complained about at times through the years. There is something oddly comforting in it now that I am trying to be a whole again. Then one week later, something unexpected happens. I am at work, cutting fabric for a new dress when our supervisor storms in. At first, I fear I am in trouble because she makes a beeline for me. Luckily, I am not: she is just going hysterical because the secretary of a certain Monsieur Toussaint, a loyal costumer and 'a most respectable lawyer', is here to collect an order with urgency but she has no idea where the suit is: the girl who took care of - and made a mess with - the order is sick that day. She adds other anxious mumbling but I don't understand a word. It's clear though what she wants. I assure her I will go find it immediately: as I leave my desk, she squeals to hurry, faster, faster! Away from her hysterical pressure, I find it in no time and head to the hall downstairs after checking myself in the mirror: we must look put together when meeting costumers. Or costumers' secretaries, I suppose. When I reach the ground floor, I see her. A young woman is waiting, patiently looking out the window. The cloak looks oddly familiar: it must be pretty popular these days. I address her with the dignified politeness and affability we have been instructed to have with our costumers. When she turns, I stop mid-sentence: it's not just the cloak, even her face is familiar. "Oh hello, Amélie..." She blinks twice and for a moment a shade of pink colours our cheeks as if our being acquaintances and the circumstances of our meetings make us suddenly shy. She recovers quickly though, and offers me a hand to shake. We chat a little but we don't have much time: duty calls for both of us. She's already heading towards the main door when she suddenly stops. I'm about to ask her if she forgot something, her gloves maybe when she speaks again. "You...don't know what happened, then?" I freeze. A name immediately crosses my mind followed by a growing concern: Élodie. "What? What happened?" She winces and walks back to the counter. In a somber tone and keeping her voice low, she tells me that it was New Year's Eve. The Moulin hosted a huge party to celebrate the success of its opening. Élodie performed in la quadrille that night, as usual. The routine was running smoothly and the dancers lined up for the hat kick. Out of the blue, a visibly drunk spectator grabbed Élodie's foot and pulled her, probably in an attempt to take off her boot or whatever he was thinking. Two gentlemen nearby promptly intervened, pushing him back and freeing her from his clutches, but damage was already done. Élodie lost balance and took a bad fall to the ground. She stood again, helped to her feet by Laurent, and kept dancing till the end. But when she made it to the backstage, she collapsed again, in tears and great pain. "The doctor said that with an ankle in that conditions, it was a miracle she even managed to stand up again" Amélie explains. "Oh God...I knew nothing of it" I cover my mouth with my hand. "I thought so" she grimaces. "How...how is she now?" "Very depressed: she spends her days lying in bed and refusing to see anyone. I had to insist and almost force my way in her room to visit her" She takes a pause. "You see, the doctor told she cannot dance now. Maybe anymore. Not as she did, anyway" I cannot even fathom the effect those words must have had on Élodie: dancing is everything to her. It's like saying to a bird it will no longer fly because they will tie one of its wings. "It can't be..." I reach to the counter for support. No, it can't be... "I know....a tragedy" she agrees. "But you should go see her. I'm sure it will make her happy and maybe you can make her change her mind" Cold dread washes over me as she leaves but I have a new steely resolution now. The following day, after work, I am knocking at Élodie's apartment's door. I am greeted by a young man with a pair of blonde moustaches who introduces himself as 'Louis Renard, painter extraordinaire'. I explain him the reason of my visit and he nods sympathetically, letting me in. He and the other roomates are all worried for El, he says: she's refusing to eat and talk and they only hear her cry. They don't know what to do to help, but "maybe you can, maybe she will listen to her friends", he adds encouragely as we stop in front of her door. Luis clears his throat and knocks but no answer comes. "Él, sunshine? Guess what news I bring? You have a visitor...a friend here came to-" "Go away, I don't wanna see anyone" Luis shakes his head and throws me a pained look. Her voice is so different from the last time I heard it. "But she's here, she came for you. At least-" "I'm tired, I need to rest" Luis opens his mouth for one last attempt to reason with her but I raise my hand, gesturing him to let me try. "Élodie? It's me, Léa, remember? I've heard what happened and I just want to check in on you. If you're tired, I will let your rest and wait here until you wake up. But I will not leave without seeing you" No answer comes again, only silence on the other side. Luis and I hold our breath for a moment then I say: "I will let you sleep, I'm in the other room" Luis shows me the way and we walk down the corridor. I grimace: what was I expecting? Amélie said it all herself... I am taking a seat, bracing myself for a long painful wait when her voice resounds again behind the closed door. "Come in" Luis and I exchange a look then he smiles. He has to go now, he must deliver his latest painting, but I am welcome to stay. Keep an eye on El in the meantime, would you?, he asks. My heart is racing when I open her door: I have gone through what to say to her on my way here so many times but I can't remember a single word now. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves before stepping in. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. Élodie is sprawled over the bed and props herself up when I enter the room. She offers a weak smile, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders before diverting her eyes. She looks tired, a shadow of her usual self. "Léa, what a surprise..." Her voice is feeble, a whisper; her hair askew fall on her face, hiding her visage. At the bottom end of the bed lay her legs, barely covered by wrinkled blankets, the same that once welcomed our passionate embrace. My heart aches at the memory of it and at the sight of her right ankle, wrapped up in tight bandages and held in place by wooden sticks on each sides. "I came as soon as I heard the news" I grimace. She nods somberly, always avoiding my gaze. "I-I should have known you would but you didn't have to after-" Before she can complete the sentence, her voice breaks and even if I can't see her face, I know she's crying. I don't even have to think: I run by her side and pull her into a tight hug, tight enough to hopefully offer her an anchor. She immediately wraps her arms around my waist and I feel her tremble against me as she succumbs to her grief. Her career is over, she says between sobs, she will lose everything and what will she do now? She always knew it wouldn't have lasted forever but now it's too soon, she's still young, too young to end it so soon. I caress her hair, calming, soothing. She buries her head against my side. It's a terrible thing to see: lovely mirthful Élodie shattered, defeated. The worst thing is I can do very little for her apart standing here by her side and holding her as she cries her heart out. I keep stroking her curls even when her sobs subside at last and she takes long breaths, grasping for air. "We'll figure something out" I say out of the blue. She parts and meets my gaze, her eyes puffy and red. "We'll figure something out" I repeat, brushing away a tear with my thumb. I have no idea how but there must be a way out of this, I don't know. In the meantime, I do the only reasonable thing I can think of: I take care of Élodie. I visit her almost every day and bring her food so she won't starve herself. She's a bit hard to convince at first: she keeps saying I don't have to do this but I am more stubborn than her. One day, she takes my hand into her and she apologises for disappearing on me: she regrets it dearly and missed me more than words can tell. Her voice trembles as she speaks and I believe mine does too when I smile to her and say I missed her too. Funny how a bunch of words, the words we need or hope to hear, can make the world around us a bit brighter and warmer even in the heart of winter. One evening, I head towards her apartment with my usual gifts. As I take off my coat and hand it to Luis, I hear her: Élodie is singing a doleful song I have never heard. A memory of her childhood maybe since she recalls the words so well. I hear her from the main room: her voice, albeit a little uncertain, is utterly beautiful. Melancholic, modulated, melodious. That kind of voice you would never get tired of listening, over and over again, like a lullaby. When I reach the threshold of her room, she's looking out of the window, absentmindedly, playing with a loose strand of her. She turns towards me and stops, offering me a smile instead. "What was that?" I ask, walking closer. "Oh, nothing, just an old tune" she shrugs. "I don't even know why it even crossed my mind after all this time" "I got you a book and a little treat" I hand her a cheap edition of a novel a colleague gifted me and a slice of cake I bought on the way there. Élodie's eyes bright up as if I brought her a shiny diamond rock. "You're spoiling me, little pearl" she smiles, unwrapping the sweet. "Here, have some!" I lean down to press a kiss on the top of her head. "No no, it's for you only" She takes a bite and scoots over so that I can take a seat beside her. "Charming" She reaches out and kisses my cheek. The crumbs on her lips tickle, making me chuckle. "What's the story of the book?" she asks, mouth half full. I pick it up and adjust at her side. "I'm not sure honestly...I think it's a romance. I thought it might keep you company" "Sweet" she comments. "....or spicy. Let's see! You're not leaving so soon, right?" I smile, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes. She leans into the touch, a sweet expectancy in her eyes. "No, I'll stay. We can read it together when you finish" She smiles again, nodding and checking the back of the book to get an idea of the plot. As I watch her eating and skimming the book I brought her, I cannot stop thinking of the little tune I caught her singing a moment ago. I look at her and she seems so blissfully unaware of the gracious beauty she filled the room with. When she takes the last bite, she hands me the book to read. "Sounds like a nice story. Shall we?" I take the book in my hands but I hesitate. "Sure, but first could you sing that song again?" I knew my request would surprise her. "Yes but...why?" she asks, sitting straighter. A smile crosses my lips as I place a hand over hers. "I have an idea"

[tisthenightofthewitch]

GHOST: INTERVIEW WITH TOBIAS FORGE, DURING THE HEAVY MONTREAL 2019

At Heavy Montreal, we had the opportunity to talk with Tobias Forge. He is the mastermind behind the Ghost formation, a group that continues to climb the ladder of the metal and even the musical domain. This year, I suggested that the Heavy Montreal organization do all my interviews with my two children, Renaud and Raphaëlle. Heavy Montreal wanted to open up to the family this year and with this series of interviews with my two children, we understand that the goal is reached! Polite and incomparably sweet, Tobias greeted us with a sparkling smile. As a family man, you feel that he is used to talking to children. What's interesting is how Tobias takes the time to explain his answers to my children, so that everything is well understood, especially for two young francophones who are doing well in English! Of course, I was able to ask a few questions myself.

Ω INTERVIEW WITH TOBIAS FORGE, THE MAN UNDER THE CASSOCK OF ALL PAPAS EMERITUS AND THE ONE WHO WEARS CARDINAL COPIA'S RED VELVET, WITH STYLE! ♥

Hi, I'm Tobias , what's your name?

My name is Raphaëlle.

It's a very pretty name! Hi, I'm Tobias , what's your name?

My name is Renaud.

This name is very beautiful too! Sit down!

Raphaëlle: I would like to know why you chose the name Nameless Ghouls (nameless Ghouls) to name the musicians who are members of the band?

Very good question! From a global point of view, ghouls do not have the characteristics that can be expected for musicians. The sound of the word Ghoul was close to the word Ghost . From the beginning, we had in mind to make a kind of joke. We did not want to write in the booklet of the first disc: "All the songs are interpreted by Ghost" . Instead, we wanted the following phrase: "All songs are performed by Papa Emeritus I and a band of Nameless Ghouls." It would not have sounded good if we had opted for Nameless Ghosts . The word Ghouls sounded much better. Almost ten years later, I dare to believe that we made the right decision. Should we have chosen the idea of Nameless Ghosts instead? I do not know! Sometimes these are simple ideas that pass the test of time.

Renaud: I really like the album Prequelle. Me and my family, we listen to the album every day. Especially on supper time. I was wondering if you started to have ideas for Ghost's next album?

I'm glad you like the album. When I have time, I write and compose for Ghost's next album . All the time. I do this, all the time. So, yes, I'm preparing the new album. At the moment, we are touring, we are giving performances, like today's, but also in Europe. But I write anyway. When I have time, when we wait. I'll tell you that I even started working on the new album as soon as Prequelle came out. That's how it is for many artists, we write constantly. When you have finished recording, you do not say to yourself, "Well, my job is done! "The disc is not available the next day. No, it takes about 3 months, just to wait. Something else happens on other levels before you can get the finished product. And sometimes it can be even longer. Three months, doing nothing? It's impossible! Do you know what's funniest? When the album comes out, finally, you're already fed up because it was so long that you moved on! It's the same with movies. If you go to the cinema to see a movie now, the people who are in the film and have worked on the film, they are already doing a new one. Sometimes they even have time to do two because everything is a matter of time. To wait. It's the same thing in music. Right now, we're on tour for Prequelle but my mind is so much elsewhere! I'm constantly thinking about the next album. I even think that the next show will look. And that's a bit sad, it looks like we can not appreciate what's happening right now because we always think about what will follow. Sometimes, I feel that it is not me who benefits most but rather people, like you three. It's a bit like organizing a big party: you spend time preparing it. You plan drinks and food. When you have finished the preparations, you are out of breath but when you receive your guests and they appreciate, you feel that you did things well! You see that everyone is happy, that it was all worth it but you always have the impression that you, you did not benefit from the party.

YKT: But you're already anticipating the next party, all the time!

It's in full!

YKT: During your last visit to the Place Bell de Laval, last December, you said on stage: "We like to visit you during the winter but we would also like to visit you during the summer. I have the impression that you were telling us, subtly, that Ghost would be back at Heavy Montreal. Was it a roundabout way to announce it?

I knew it, probably. But I'm not sure. I can not tell you that it was intentional. When I say these things, it's because I know there will be something that involves Ghost and even if it's not announced officially yet, I can say it was not the goal! In saying this, I kept a certain reserve. You must be able to assume that you are talking to 5,000 people and that if you tell something that you can not confirm later, there will be many witnesses. We must be able to learn from our mistakes. In the past, I have already made blunders of this kind. On stage, I was talking about things that were planned for Ghost In the coming months. In the excitement of the moment, you announce them. For example, you are in Sao Paulo, and you scream at the end of the show: "See you in 6 months! " Instead of saying " See you soon! " This is the kind of mistake you can do. People in the crowd have received accurate data over a period of time and they will have expectations about this. Then, what was planned does not happen. It's like baiting the fish. You're better off having something solid to announce so you do not create false hopes. The more I think about it and the more I think you're right, I had to know it!

YKT: My next question is a bit long. Things went pretty fast for Ghost. About 7 years ago, Ghost played at the Corona Theater. Subsequently, you were on tour with Mastodon and Opeth. Then, you found yourself at the head of the Metropolis and finally, you sold at the Place Bell to come back today as Heavy Montreal's headliner. Four albums later, Ghost is no longer this band that records on Rise Above. You, Tobias, you come from the Swedish metal scene. I wanted to know how your peers coming from this scene perceive you now? Are they happy for you? Do members of Entombed or Katatonia have a good look at everything that's going on for you? Or is there anyone who sulks you?  

Hmm ... Good question ... I think it varies. It depends on who you are talking to or who you could ask. It also depends on who is asking for it. In general, people are very happy about what is happening to me, even if it does not fit with what I have done in the past at the musical level. But sometimes, and not only in Stockholm, there are groups that I loved a lot with whom now, there is some animosity. All this surprised me! I will not name names, that's for sure. It happens, it is not a majority but it happened. For example, I'm in a festival like this. We are backstage and all groups are here to relax and have a good time. I see many musicians who are members of a group that I have been listening to for a very long time. A group that I listened to at the age of 12, which I still listen to and which is on the same festival where we play. For me, this group isbig , popular because they are on tour all the time and for me, it's a major band because the musicians still offer albums that I listen and buy. We are 25 years later, I have the chance to meet the members of the group. I introduce myself and they tell me ( imitating someone grumpy ): "Oh yes, it's you, the rockstar ..."   I say, "What, me? " Not at all! In my eyes, they are the rockstars. It happened a few times. What happens, too, is when you think that the members of this group are cool , that they are men and no longer young men mad but you realize that they are unpleasant when you approach them. I thought :"Yeah, you do it hard! "

Hahhhaha (Group laughter)  

I was very disappointed that the members of this group were so arrogant. Why? I did not understand. Sometimes, when things do not work, some people may create a barrier, unfortunately. With this kind of situation, you can not do much. This is not our problem, it is rather their problem. There is nothing that can be done to change it because if you try, it's worse. Fortunately, these are just a few people. It is only a minority. Some musicians who remained bitter. Over the years, I have met a lot of people. People to whom I had a lot of respect and high regard. Today, I respect them even more because they are great people who respect you as much as you respect them.Metallica or Iron Maiden . There are people from underground bands who show me a lot of support. And respect. And it's reciprocal. But at the same time, I do not know exactly what they can think of me because I do not ask, in a direct and personal way to all members of the Swedish death metal scene. It would be a huge waste of time in addition to an energy expenditure!

YKT: Right now, you're wearing a Voïvod t-shirt. We have already done two interviews together and in the first, at the time of Opus Eponymous, I spoke to you about my impressions of Ghost's influences. I told you that I thought Ghost had similarities with Mercyful Fate and Blue Öyster Cult. You told me something rather remarkable: "We are definitely much more influenced by Voïvod." This comment had frankly surprised me! Since you are in Quebec and Voïvod is a training from here, what can you tell us about your passion for this band?

Since listening to this band, I have always found that there is an element of strangeness in their music. I was immediately able to create a link with what Voïvod was proposing and I could easily identify with their music. I have always felt this connection with the fact that this group has always wanted to contribute to the movement and not just participate. It was clear. They had their way of seeing and proposing the music. They did not interpret it according to the basic conventions. They had audible influences like Venom and Motörhead but they did not just want to follow the path of their influences, they wanted to create something unique. At that time, there was the European thrash as Destruction and Kreator but Voïvod did not go exactly in the same direction. They were much more like Celtic Frost . Groups, unique. In a deliberate way, they did something different than the others, original and on each album. Even though I'm more fond of an album like Killing Technology , I really enjoy albums like Angel Rat . Voïvod , they were so, brave! It had to be done and it took courage to release something that was so much the opposite of what they usually proposed. Nothing face is also an album that has guts! I always liked when Voïvod arrived with a sound that could be goth, lugubrious and pop but that kept the same style. It's in their DNA I believe. In all that the band can offer, there is this weird element, this detuned way to agree! A special touch! I like everything about Voïvod . And the group's visual is superb. The work of Away is fantastic. I had an old jeans jacket. I had gone to see the band and had met Away . Really nice and generous of his time. He autographed my jacket. You know, his classic signature? As soon as you see his signature, you know it's his. I had to be, 17 or 18 years old in time. I still have this jacket but I can not wear it anymore, it is too worn!

YKT: When Nergal of Behemoth posted on Instagram this now "famous" photo where you are both behind the scenes, without your Papa Emeritus costume. People immediately understood that it was Tobias Forge who was under the papal toga. In addition, Nergal wrote, by way of title: If you have Ghosts. It was obvious. Has this photo been the spark plug in the face of unmasking?

Not at all.

YKT: When did you feel like it was time to do like KISS on Lick it Up?

Hahha! Everything was done gradually. There were small steps to my decision. It was a deliberate decision made deliberately. At the aesthetic level, Ghost must wear masks and it will be like that. There is no question that we are on stage with our everyday clothes. This is non-negotiable. I even venture to say that it will never happen. There is no reason to do it. This is an integral part of Ghost . It's like watching a movie and we know it was done with green screens when shooting. They must be replaced by computer-generated images. Otherwise, it would be a movie with actors walking in front of green screens. With Ghost, it's the same thing. You want to see something complete. A finished product. What happened with Nergal ? He was just taking pictures, as usual! I took one with him because we are good friends. He posted the picture. Was it planned or was it an accident? I do not know. This photo has never night me as such. She had a chat, that's for sure. In the end, it was mostly him who got shit for doing it! I do not see this as something bad or as something that made me unmask.

YKT: Tobias, we thank you very much!

It was very cool. Thank you, thank you children!

Voir.ca

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (11.13-11.19.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·         Marshmello, YUNGBLUD and blackbear premiered their collab song “Tongue Tied” with epic new visuals. During an interview with Capital FM, blackbear previously revealed the new collab would be out before we all celebrate the new year.

·         After many days of teasing, Billie Eilish finally released her much-anticipated new song, “Everything I Wanted.” Earlier, the singer also said there is a new music video for “Xanny” arriving soon.

·         The documentary film about Lil Peep‘s life and career, Everybody’s Everything, will see a wider theatrical launch after an overwhelming response for its release. The film also arrives alongside a new album with the same name from the artist containing 19 new songs for fans to check out.

·         Panic! at the Disco’s Brendon Urie, Twenty One Pilots’ Josh Dun and Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz streamed themselves playing video games last Friday to raise money for the Highest Hopes Foundation. Once they raised over $75,000, they premiered a brand new metal track live.

·         I Don’t Know How But They Found Me got into the Christmas spirit early this year with the surprise release of their holiday-themed EP Christmas Drag just last week. The rock duo released a festive music video for their cover of the Slade track, “Merry Christmas Everybody.”

·         The new Lil Peep documentary and album Everybody’s Everything arrived last week, and Machine Gun Kelly showed his love for the late rapper with an acoustic cover. Kelly posted a clip of him playing along to Peep’s “Walk Away as the Door Slams” on his Instagram feed.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:     

·         Dance Gavin Dance announced their Spring 2020 tour, set to take off in March across 31 cities in North America before closing out the tour at the band’s own second annual Swanfest. Animals as Leaders, Veil of Maya, and Royal Coda will be joining them on this massive tour.

·         Green Day side project, the Coverups, announced their return with a show December 6th at the Tiki Bar in Costa Mesa, California. Joining them are the Interrupters, One Less Zero, Dead Mermaids and Dead Sound.

·         Due to the nature of how quickly their opening gig with My Chemical Romance sold out, Thursday took to Instagram to announce a few more shows they will be playing to give fans more opportunities to see them. Chris Conley of Saves the Day will be joining them onstage.

·         Hawthorne Heights announced that they will be celebrating the 15th anniversary of their album The Silence in Black and White again this coming January. The band recruited Emery again for this third leg, consisting of 10 shows, as well as Bad Luck. and Vagrants for the full run.

·         Waterparks took to Instagram to announce that one of the tour’s former openers, Yung Pinch, is out with a new face in De’Wayne Jackson to fill the now vacant slot. This announcement comes days before the tour kicks off and after fans expressed concerns over the rapper’s lyrics.

·         Halsey and Lady Antebellum performed a medley of two songs at the CMA Awards last Wednesday night. The team played the band’s “What If I Never Get Over You” and the singer’s latest song “Graveyard.”

·         Sleeping with Sirens frontman, Kellin Quinn, ended the band’s show early in the Netherlands last week due to crowd safety reasons. Fans quickly took to Twitter to question the situation, while others thanked Quinn for his actions.

·         The 1975 frontman Matty Healy joined Dashboard Confessional vocalist Chris Carrabba onstage last Thursday for one song during the latter band’s set in London. The 1975 frontman later shared the clip on his social media, adding “peak emo.”

·         The American Music Awards announced their lineup of performances for the live show including a set from punk powerhouse Green Day. They will be taking the stage in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Dookie, performing “Basket Case” and latest single “Father for All…”

·         Scary Kids Scaring Kids will return early next year with a 15th anniversary tour celebrating The City Sleeps in Flames, their debut album. It is also a 10-year reunion for the act, led by three core musicians returning from that 2005 lineup.

·         Next year’s Download Festival in the UK announced today they’ve added 37 more acts to their lineup including the Pretty Reckless, who have also confirmed they have a new album on the way. Among the list of announced bands are Babymetal, Killswitch Engage, and Volbeat.

OTHER NEWS:   

·         Bring Me the Horizon frontman, Oli Sykes, recently collaborated with Dani Filth of Cradle of Filth for a new line of clothing for Sykes’ Drop Dead clothing company. The line includes 20 different pieces and launched in the UK this past Saturday.

·         Foo Fighters frontman, Dave Grohl, made an appearance with Big Bird and Elmo on Sesame Street to sing about the positives of traveling and making new friends. Last year, it was confirmed the musician would be making an appearance on the 50th anniversary season.

·         SWMRS provided an update on guitarist/vocalist Max Becker following his horrible van accident. “In addition to breaking both shoulders, bruising his lung & fracturing vertebrae, his biggest challenge will be recovering from the traumatic brain injury,” they wrote on Instagram.

·         During the interview, the 1975 frontman Matty Healy said he will be at My Chemical Romance’s reunion show at the Shrine, even calling Gerard Way “emo grandad.” Earlier this year, he detailed the band’s upcoming “sort of” emo album.

·         Nirvana filed a lawsuit against the famous clothing designer Marc Jacobs last December, accusing the brand of copyright and trademark infringement. Last Thursday, U.S. District Judge John A. Kronstadt ruled that the suit can move forward, denying Jacobs’ motion to dismiss it.

·         Black Veil Brides took to social media to announce the departure of bassist Ashley Purdy after 10 years with the band. The news comes days after BVB revealed a 2020 tour supporting In This Moment.

·         As the decade comes to an end, people are analyzing the past ten years of music and Twenty One Pilots have earned the best-selling rock album of the 2010s. The 2015 record sat on the album charts for nine weeks at the top spot.

·         Post Malone and Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong were hanging out at Posty’s headlining show at the Oakland Arena last Thursday and had some pre-show drinks to mark the occasion. Photographer Grady Brannan shared a photo of the group playing beer pong.

·         My Chemical Romance shared their first photo since announcing their internet-breaking reunion last month. The band posted a photo from rehearsal that apparently took place on Friday, sharing no additional information available in the caption.

·         The Jonas Brothers decided to listen to All Time Low while on tour, and the latter band’s guitarist, Jack Barakat, took notice by retweeting the post, saying “We see you @joejonas.” Joe posted himself across from a screen that had the So Wrong, It’s Right cover on it on Instagram.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[cheonsans]

Summer Lovin’

Group: ULTRAVIOLET.

Featuring: All of UV, ab.z’s Nayun and Aeri ( @abzlnd​ )

Genre: Mostly just comedy!

Word-count: ~2.3k

Warnings: Some language but nah.

Summary: A companion piece to Avery’s! ULTRAVIOLET just want to relax and pass the time before they’re set to perform at a music festival, but ab.z’s Nayun has other plans for Siyun. 

“It’s too hot, and I can barely see my fuckin’ phone.”

Taesong’s voice is borderline a whine as he squints at the device in his hand, no doubt trying desperately to read whatever message Areum had recently sent him. It is sweltering, he’s right about that, and Siyun’s hand has hardly left the front of his silky shirt in the past twenty minutes, pulling it away from his chest in order to attempt the seemingly impossible feat of cooling down. In fact, the only two not complaining are Minsung and Jamie, the latter of which having said at least four times that the heat was nothing compared to home. King, on the other hand, is about as miserable as taesong.

The group is milling around waiting for the go ahead that the makeup artists are ready for them, and they are all equally thankful for the fact that they aren’t baking under layers of stage makeup that would have surely melted off by then. Siyun already feels like his hair dye is just about melting out of his hair, and he has to consciously suppress the urge to check the back of his neck to see if his hand comes away dripping in purple. After the recent change from silvery-blond back to a more saturated color, he’s still flinching like an idiot every time he sees a tuft of violet in his peripheral.

“So put your phone away and spend time with us, then, Taesong-ah.” Siyun replies to the other rapper, grinning at the absolutely disgusted expression he’s sent in return.

“What, and listen to Sungmin-hyung whine about being refused soju and Jamie yeehaw every ten minutes? I’ll pass, thanks.”

Siyun opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by King dramatically swooning, slumping against the purple-haired boy’s chest with a groan. Siyun stumbles back half a step at the sudden weight, but he’s used to it by now, shoving the leader back into an upright position just as quickly. It is simply too hot for any prolonged contact, even if King were ridiculously needy when he feels like he’s not getting enough attention. Considering how unrealistic that quota is to meet, they all resort to mostly ignoring his pointed sighs and impatient grumbling for the time being. Unfortunately, any unbearable attitude King would usually have is only exacerbated by the heat, which drains their patience as much as it brings out only the bitchiest sides of each of them.  

Maybe Taesong has the right idea, sticking his nose in his phone and waiting for the time to pass. The performances wouldn’t be for a few hours, and the group is more than well prepared, having gone through their setlist earlier in the morning. It’s nothing too special, just the usual few title tracks and a dance stage so King and Taesong could murder basically everyone watching, and being the impulsively natured boy group they are, they haven’t bothered practicing any further now that their designated sound-check and rehearsal time has passed. As King always says, if they fuck up onstage, it was meant to happen.

“Do you think someone would get me soju if--”

King is cut off by an unfamiliar and enthusiastic feminine voice, cutting through the sluggish, heat-induced reverie that has settled over the group.

“Hey! You!”

King whirls around immediately, brows raised and expression almost revoltingly hopeful.

“Me?” He rakes his hair back from his face, trying to make the action seem cool despite the fact that his dark locks are thoroughly dripping with sweat and not even remotely close to styled.  

“Not you, hag,” She croons, “I’m talking to Siyun!”

King’s expression falls without hesitation, settling in what Siyun can only describe as his bitch-face before crossing his arms. “I’m not even that old.” His defensiveness and disappointment shift to shock, however, that mirrors Siyun’s own countenance once they absorb her last words.

She’s what now? Siyun blinks at her, hand coming up instinctively to point at his own chest, as if she has to be mistaken. Both of the girls coming towards them look vaguely familiar, and Siyun tries his best not to laugh at the manner in which the louder one drags a taller girl behind her, much to the latter’s evident dismay. The taller idol clearly wants to be anywhere else, and Siyun figures she may have been dragged along simply as moral support for the clearly younger fan, but he’s proven wrong once again.

“Siyun-oppa,” The shorter continues, tone positively saccharine.  “You’re single, right?”

Siyun blinks at her, mouth falling open in disbelief at the bluntness exhibited by the female idol. While he’s more than used to disrespect from the other members of ULTRAVIOLET, this sort of blatant flippancy is a bit unheard of from anyone else. Thankfully, years of Jamie’s bullying have prepared him for this, and Siyun keeps his expression only mildly affronted. She isn’t done yet, however.

“See, cause,” She yanks the taller forward, putting her on display like a butterfly on a corkboard...or, maybe a piece of meat at the butcher’s. “I have it on good source that this unnie right here likes Siyun and you should totally do something about it ‘cause she doesn’t have the guts!”

Siyun feels heat rise to his face within seconds. He knows he should bow or thank her or something, but all he can manage is a very nervous laugh, his hesitancy prompting a snort from Jamie that’s poorly covered up. Siyun’s brain is drawing a complete blank, staring at the older girl, and he finally snaps out of it as she  begins to nervously stutter.

It occurs to Siyun that the reception from the other members of ULTRAVIOLET clearly isn’t helping the already embarrassing situation, any. King looks bitter and as judgmental as ever (his few brain cells are probably still working on a rebuttal for the hag comment), Minsung is more interested in a vaguely-dick-shaped rock he found, Taesong is still glued to his phone...and Jamie is, predictably, leering like the nosy maknae he is. It’s up to him to be the group’s ambassador, yet again, and Siyun normally wouldn’t have an issue, but the idea that someone like this pretty girl is interested in him before any of the others...all common sense goes out the window, leaving only what he hopes isn’t too dopey of a smile. 

He’s normally so good with names and faces, too, but all he remembers is that their groups had debuted at around the same time. Logically, he knows he could just glance down to read the boldly printed hangul on their shirtfronts, but his stomach turns at the notion of it seeming like he’s just staring at her chest instead. Rather, he wracks his memory, and while it’s a far less effective method, his brain does manage to conjure up imagery of glimmering stage outfits until oh!

“I’m sorry about, her…uh…she just–” Aeri (he remembers her name on his own, thank you very much, but a hopefully casual flick of his gaze towards her nametag confirms that) bows, and Siyun starts to mirror her instinctively, hands coming up in an attempt to reassure her, but the younger girl is already cutting in. He doesn’t hear what she says, too distracted by Jamie punching him playfully on the shoulder, probably in response to Siyun’s now probably completely red face. Maybe he can play the blush off as heat-related? The heat feels heavy and molten, dripping down his back and settling in the spaces between his ribs. A mosquito buzzes uncomfortably close to his left ear.

“No, it’s okay, really, I think--” He means to mention recognizing her and maybe offer some sort of compliment on their music, but King interjects.

“I think we need to go get ready.” He grumbles, already beginning to stalk off. Taesong follows without looking up from his phone, happy to leave the scene, and Minsung hurries after, his new rock still clutched in one hand. Jamie begins to urge Siyun after the group as the taller boy hesitates, bowing at the same time as Aeri, which prompts another bout of nervous laughter from the rapper as the crowns of their heads almost collide.

“Um, thank you, it was nice to m--” Yet again, Siyun is cut off, this time being bodily yanked by Jamie until he follows the group, face still warm as hell as they make their way into the shade to get their makeup finally done. Once they’re indoors and settling down, Jamie rounds on Siyun within a moment, grasping the elder’s face between his rough-palmed hands.

“Hyung, she was cute!” He practically shouts, squishing Siyun’s cheeks until the rapper lets out a prolonged whine of indignation. “Siyunnie-hyung has an admirer, oh, they grow up so fast!” The maknae cooes, feigning a swoon as he narrowly dodges a swat upside the head. “You should get her number, maybe try not to crash and burn next time. I thought you might throw up on her.”

“Jamie, please.” Siyun smiles tightly at him helplessly, holding up his hands defensively as the high energy Texan yanks at Siyun’s arm again and shoves him down into one of the makeup chairs. Siyun didn’t have a chance to blink before Jamie’s phone is out and AB.Z’s profile is pulled up and shoved into his face.

“Ooh, she’s from Florida…the land of alligators and the infamous Florida Man.” Jamie reads and embellishes, before breaking out in obnoxious laughter. “She’s taller than Sungmin-hyung.”

King glances up at the mention of his name, expression affronted.

“I’m tall enough to kick your ass, don’t test me. Ow, fuck!” The stylist ignores the leader’s yelp of pain as she combs through his hair with a bit more force than necessary, and Siyun fights down a bubble of laughter as she catches his eye in the mirror and offers him a wink.

“No one asked you, hag.” Jamie shoots back at the leader, and King looks as if he might haul himself out of the chair to break Jamie’s wrist if the makeup stylist weren’t between them. Unintimidated, Jamie continues. “God, she seems so sweet…the other one was Nayun, it looks like. I liked her vibe, she had major BDE.” Jamie scrolls through the group’s profile until he reaches the end, resting his chin dreamily on top of Siyun’s head. “You have to talk to her, promise me you’ll talk to her?” The youngest member is a hopeless romantic, and he pouts at Siyun in the mirror across from them, arms slung about the elder’s shoulders. He sways them both back and forth, Siyun a bit awkwardly from where he was sitting.

“I’ll try, okay? You know i’m not good with this sort of thing.” Siyun mumbles, sheepish, and he drums his fingers on the edge of the counter. While there’s certainly intrigue in dating, it’s not really something Siyun has ever let himself have time for. He tried to take up a more casual approach to relationships a while back, mirroring Taesong’s attitude then, but the long and short of it is that it made him feel absolutely awful. It had taken him weeks to get over the guilt of a handful of one-night stands, a consequence that no one else in the group seemed to understand. Since then, Siyun can’t remember the last time he had spoken to a woman he found attractive, beyond conversations where he didn’t realize he’s been flirted with until hours later, when it was too late to do anything about it.

“Excuse me? Look at yourself! Need I remind you who scored number six on that list of top 20 handsomest rookies of 2017?” Jamie insists, oblivious to the true root of Siyun’s hesitations.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” It’s much easier to stare at his tattoos rather than meet Jamie’s eyes in the reflection. “I just don’t wanna mess it up or scare her off. She probably just likes the idea of me and probably doesn’t want to actually get to know me, y’know? Most idols really aren’t like what they seem on paper, anyways. I didn’t get her number, either, so I doubt anything’s gonna come of it.” Not to mention the fact that Siyun doesn’t want to risk a relationship being publicized before he’s ready, not only for his own sake, but for the fans’.

“...Bullshit, but okay, think whatever you want.” Jamie backs off as a makeup artist approaches the two, shooing the younger out of the way. “I’ll leave you be, Romeo.”

“That’s such an awful nickname. They both die at the end, Jamie.” Siyun’s brows crease in the center at that, but Jamie waves off his concern.

“I know that. I read the manga version in middle school, thank you very much. Just shut up and think about it, okay? You’re a good guy, hyung...there are a lot of guys who’d be taking advantage of a situation like this, y’know? Just try to relax, and focus on having fun, for once! You deserve it.” For someone who seems to know more about obscure Animal Crossing facts than anything useful, Jamie can be remarkably insightful, at times. Siyun’s lips press into a thin line before he nods, trying not to melt at the endearing and brilliant smile Jamie shoots his way.

“I’ll do my best.” Siyun acquiesces as the makeup stylist begins to apply serum to his sweat-tacky skin, the scent of roses whisking away his tension.

When it comes down to it, his best is all he can really offer, anyways.

[lgcmanager]

PRODUCER MISSION 001

SCHEDULE TYPE: GIG RESTRICTIONS: none

on APRIL 7, REO KANGDAE has summoned all the TRAINEES CONFIRMED TO JOIN THE PRODUCER MAIN CAREER PATH. in this early in the morning, none of the trainees has attended a more informal meeting than that in their time in legacy. the man has even brought pastries, coffee, tea and hot chocolate to each preferences. “hey guys, it’s nice to finally be together right?” he asks, a friendly smile on his face “we haven’t got the chance to meet many times; i am the head manager of LGC CREATIVES, i oversee pretty much everything creatively wise within the company. even the team of future dreams has been pestering me lately.” he confides with a small chuckle. “that means that i can’t be with you guys all the time, unfortunately. i gotta say, i have a soft spot for producing; that’s how i first joined the company.” he seems nostalgic for a second. “anyway, one of my assistant managers will be assigned to you guys. you’ll be treated as our junior producer team. you’ll have your own office as a team, with desks for each one of you. there are a couple of recording studios in the new building, so no worries, you’ll just have to reserve them when you’re ready to work, there shouldn’t be any overlapping issues.” he makes sure that no one has questions before continuing. “you’re going to have to bear with me, because we have a lot more to discuss.”

DORMS

“the dorm situation is getting sorted out at the moment. those who are confirmed to leave them can do so from this week.” he sighs. “look, since you’ve taken the producer path, we’re going to be a bit more lenient with you guys, but keep in mind that you are still artists under legacy entertainment and if you ever wish to dip in other path, you better watch yourselves. if we hear of bad behaviors, rules breaking or anything that could tarnish legacy’s image, unfortunately it won’t go unpunished. so don’t disappoint me and break a trusting bond, please.” he’s obviously not to please to have to talk about possible disciplinary measures. “for the rest, in two weeks you should be able to move into your new apartment. i made sure that they wouldn’t give you trash places like the trainees.“

SNS

“good news, i guess; each of you will be allowed to have PUBLIC INDIVIDUAL INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT . sounds too nice to be true, right? well it is. the company has established that you must have completed a full trimester in this path, then have at least 6 posts on the legacy entertainment account before getting your personal account. this will assure them that you know sns etiquette, that you can be trusted with the content published and blablabla. anyway, the company will give me more details later.”

DEBUT CONTRACT

“now that you are junior producers, you have to sign a NEW CONTRACT. i’ll distribute them after this meeting. make sure to read it properly, especially the small characters - that’s where they usually scam us -, and return it a soon as possible with your signature.”

PRODUCER MISSION PART 001: TRADEMARK SOUND

“so, as i said, you are now junior producers. we’re not expecting you to be some GRAY or DBSD’S HYUNBIN right away. but we do want to hear your PERSONAL style, so we’re asking you to created a bside song that will define your trademark sound. not only that, you will have to come up with a concept and explain which type of group or artist could perform your song. if you need help in any form, do not hesitate, we’re here for you”

REMINDER OF PROFICIENCY LEVELS FOR COMPOSITION

muses with at least 100 points in music and/or lyric composition may write and/or compose a song on their own. for the song to be fully composed by them, they need to have 100 in both categories.

muses with at least 50 points in music and/or lyric composition may write and/or compose a song with intermediate and senior producers’ assistance.

OOC WISE: you will be able to claim a bside (non promoted song) as composed by your muse. the song must be from january 2018 and after and not be used by any other artists within legacy yet. make sure to validate your choice with the main. should the song and concept fit a group or unit of legacy, the song will be released legacy, if not, will be brought by the original artist canon-wise.

PRODUCER MISSION PART 002: EDM FESTIVAL

“from JUNE 5 to JUNE 8, the producers of the company are flying to TOKYO for a huge EDM festival. and that includes you. this is not a party trip but rather a working trip. you will be tasked to observe and listen to the new tendencies in terms of edm and other clubbing genres. each of you will also be able to attend DJing workshops, which should help you in your music composition. before you ask, all expenses are on the company, naturally. we’ve arrange for individual rooms at Shangri-La Tokyo.”

REQUIREMENTS

make sure to use the hashtag lgc:producermission for everything related to this event. you have until JULY 3 to complete the following requirements

TRADEMARK SOUND 1: submit to lgccreatives account the bside with explanation of the concept around it and the type of artist who could perform the song for +5 COMPOSITION (MUSIC) + 5 COMPOSITION (LYRICS) + 3 NOTORIETY

TRADEMARK SOUND 2: write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with a partner about any part of their preparation process +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE

EDM FESTIVAL: write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with a partner about the trip to tokyp for +3 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE  ! you may claim this requirement two times, as long as threads are with different partners.

to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before JULY 4, 11:59EDT.

TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙ PRODUCER MISSION 001

- TRADEMARK SOUND 1: +5 composition (music) + 5 composition (lyrics) + 3 notoriety - TRADEMARK SOUND 2: +5 ( skill points distribution ) [ LINK ] - EDM FESTIVAL: +3 ( skill points distribution )[ LINK ] - EDM FESTIVAL: +3 ( skill points distribution ) [ LINK ]

[migleefulmoments]

"Hahaha. A friend pointed this out. W online shops too!" What does this even mean?! I don't know anyone in 2020 who doesn't online shop besides my 80 year old grandparents because they refuse to learn how to use a computer 😂 I don't get how Will, a 30 something year old man, online shopping is worthy enough for Abby to comment on it. I'm sure Chris does it too. And Darren.

On Nov 5, Darren wrote this post and the cc fandom lost their shit.    

They decided that organizing 10 costumes for multiple events in two different states for two different people was not worthy of acknowledgment- especially since they wore several purchased costumes. They spent the next 30-ish days mocking her “online shopping skills” like the petty idiots they are and now they bring it up two months later. 

Anonymous asked: this is funny, C posted a photo of beard, D posted photos with the beard. Almost like they were sitting next to each other and saying “ok ok I will say this”

ajw720 answered: The only difference, C controls his SM and the bearding, D does not, but they knew the Halloween post was coming when C posted his belated b-day wishes (not that he acknowledged they were late).  

It really is, if you can remove the very human, tragic element, like a script for a really bad D Movie.  C posts “Happy Birthday, Babe!” a day after the man’s actual b-day and “D” praises his fake bride for MAKING TEN costumes.  Sure praise her if she actually designed them and sat with her sewing machine.  No, she went online and ordered things (I doubt she even went to a store).   And 3 couple costumes were cheap frankly.  The only thought was how narcissistic she could be in their execution (as @flowersintheattic254pointed out even the Mario costume had  a reason, it was a reminder of Japan and the fake encagement by referring to the ad that paid for their trip there).

And seriously how are people not questioning that she spent the entirety of her month picking TEN costumes?  Who has time for this?  I know, i know, a person whose only role in life is to play fake plus one.

I am just so tired by D in particular being utterly dragged down by the useless dead weight by his side and his team’s sole ambition to promote her and make her sound like a decent person.  

If they wanted to praise her, maybe they should have forced her to participate in the zero waste initiative instead of sitting drinking by the pool or have her volunteer to help young girls who have been kicked out of their homes, or have been raped.  Or pick any cause and truly volunteer her time to promote it.  If she is not going to actually get a job and pursue a career, please force her to do something that is actually of value and contribute something good to the world. But to praise her for picking TEN costumes?  

Praise that comes from a man who this year alone won three awards, is starring in a show he created and wrote the music for, has his first big movie premiere this week, is exec producer and star of a huge show on N/etflix, just announced his starring role with 2 A++ lists actors next spring on Broadway, celebrated the 5th anniversary of the festival he created, volunteered his time for the zero waste initiative, performed at several charity events, and was just yesterday name limited series actor of the decade.  Where is the praise for him from his “bride”?  He at least deserves it.

How do they not see how ridiculous it is for someone with D’s accomplishments in 2019 alone praise a person for purchasing TEN costumes for Halloween?  And stans, how do you accept that this is right or normal.  You really know nothing about him and have such little respect for him as a person if you continue to accept the character his idiotic team has created on his behalf.  It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity.  

This isn’t about being a “gay fetishist” or “hating woman” this is about wanting for D to be fairly and accurately represented and no longer forced to participate in this stupid, life sucking game to promote a person that contributes absolutely nothing to the world.  If you want to have a strong female role model, there are so many, i’ve talked about a few in the past few days (thus far Nancy, Lea, and Phoebe) and will continue to do so, but please stop worshiping a person whose sole reason you are speaking about her is her connection to D, even if you refuse to accept it is fake.  

klainecentric Finished reading the funniest ig story of the day, the qween being praised for sitting in front of either a sewing machine or computer...bravo your majesty qween....your my hero well done.👏👏. And all I can think of is how irrelevant the statement D made about being an emotional horder, being a very private person and finally D saying he's lazy when it comes to social media, I'm internally screaming in frustration because yeah we know D wouldn't have written a post praising that lazy good for nothing waste of space but he's coming across as a lier and it's extremely damaging to his character as a person. I absolutely hate lying and every time another "private" moment is posted to the world is another small piece that's chipped away from what D has originally stated about privacy. PBB, nobody cares about your cheap arse highly flammable costumes you buy online, did you forget about your piano baby adult strip club. I'm sure there are still plenty of people out there you can hire to rub and flaunt their flanges all over the beer taps, why don't you keep busy on that instead. If you want to make costumes, I'm sure you can sew some mighty fine titty tassels together. It'll be cheap nasty, sound familiar.

souly So, let me get this straight. We should all praise a person for going online, looking up different costumes in online stores, putting those in their shopping basket and hitting “buy”? Because I do that at least once a week with other stuff. Do I get praised for that now? Pretty please? I’m doing good work there and buy a lot of stuff, therefore I must be the best person ever!

notes-from-nowhere You’re my Queen. Please, love me.

souly

(I think I got it right. I’m getting the hang of what said person is doing. Wheee! ;))

notes-from-nowhere You nailed it 🤣

ajw720 Yesterday I got a delivery of car food. And instead of his usual seafood mix up greats, I got him shrimp flavor. I’m awesome!!!!!

souly Oh, hey! I think we should all take pictures of whatever we bought online during the week or month and make individual posts on all of our social media accounts about it. Because, you know…

cassie1022 I picked up stuff I ordered online at Target and PetSmart. Does that count? Should I receive accolades because my cat will have fresh litter to do her business on?

souly Only if you post the pictures to prove it! ;)

ajw720 As soon as I get home. Pictures forthcoming. Shrimp cat treats and I also got a burgundy blanket for my new comforter!!! Life goals!!!!!!!!!!!

souly Okay, so, let’s see… What did I buy online during the past month that can be shared as pictures? Some things are gifts, so I obviously can’t post anything about those yet. But I think these here are safe.

Let’s start with one of my fav new shirts. (Excuse the grainy quality. I had to quickly edit it for privacy reasons. :p And yes, that’s a butterfly mirror.)

The rest are behind the cut to save your dash from drowning in too many pictures. ;)

cheekyface72 You’re my queen from now on…

ajw720 I think emmy/sag/gg/CC winner DC should write a post @soulypraising your awesome, amazing, unparalleled online shopping skills!  You earned that praise.  That cat toy is particularly spectacular.

*********************

Just A Taste of M’s Amazing Online Shopping Skills that are worthy of such Praise

ajw720

Super Mario with inflatable Dragon $54.66 (x)

Princess Peach $78.99 (x)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles. i can’t

flowersintheattic254. When you add the fact that the wedding was sponsored so heavily, and her history of outfits I think it shows Mi@rren is something that’s always been done very much ‘on the cheap’.

From work vacays (honeymoon included), RC ‘glue gun’ looks, thrift shoes and subsidized weddings.

It’s BUDGET BEARDING!!!

leka-1998. It’s not worth more than this, that’s for sure.

notes-from-nowhere  We are so ungrateful. She worked hard to find the gloves.

I bet she had to click on another link to find them. She deserves another accolade.

ajw720 @flowersintheattic254 Budget Bearding!  I LOVE It! (and something tells me D’s SW costume in particular was far cheaper than either of these).

souly That Snow White dress can be found for about $25 in a ton of online shops. I stumbled upon it even before Halloween way too many times. 😂

@notes-from-nowhere The plush question mark block can be found in a couple online stores like this one. She simply glued it onto some gloves - or asked L to do it with that glue gun of hers.

flowersintheattic254 Well funnily enough I think we may have confirmation that 🚽🚽 glued on the puppies so I guess YES to the question mark block too!!!

cassie1022 They can’t even glue things properly. Why am I not surprised?

leka-1998

SW

So, so amazing. Bow to the kween and her not so helpful helper.

************************************

There are lots more...I figured enough of your brain cells died reading the ones I posted.  On Nov 30 she is STiLL bringing it up”

Anonymous asked:

Whenever I see miarren gifset they always use the same quote underneath (the rolling the windows down quote) and at first I rolled my eyes and thought uh not that quote again, and I can't believe it took me this long to realise it's because there is literally no other quote that can be construed as loving. You can hardly put down "she's a big girl" whenever you make a set of gifs with M beaming and D looking like someone murdered the dog he's allergic to.

ajw720: And I love the Emmy quote as it was an absolute reference to his character who was a psychopath. Pretty telling if you ask me. But that reference is over their heads.

And pretty much the only one. Guess saying he’s a ball and chain kind of guy isn’t romantic. They can’t even take pooping exes as he clearly steered the conversation away from her. Lovely lady of many moons? Nah she sounds like a stranger. Saying nothing changes after marriage? Sounds boring. It’s a struggle. But hey she’s an excellent online shopper that he done got hitched to!!!

[dreamgardens]

high school au - park jisung

a/n: idk why i suddenly felt like writing this?? i never even planned for a high school au but i was randomly really inspired to do it,,, sksks this is more of a dance team au but whatever

you’re not exactly friends with jisung

he’s been in a few of your classes throughout the years and you’re both on friendly terms- sometimes you’ll sit next to each other if there’s no one else and you can strike up a convo readily, you’ll say hi to each other in the hallways... but;;

still not really friends in the terms of hanging out and all

you’re not that close with his group of people in general

which is why it surprises you when one day as you’re going home from school ten pops up next to you “hey, (y/n!)”

it takes you five hot seconds to remember who he is- yes, right, he was the teaching assistant for your history class once, that friendly but kind of weird guy,,, he graduated but came back to help out

“that’s me! hi-?” you squeak out, because he basically jumpscared you 

“you know jisung, right? and jeno and jaemin?”

you raise your eyebrow at him “...yes?” 

“um, this might sound a bit weird, but...” 

“yeah?”

“we’re kind of- we’re going to start a dance team, like an actual dance crew and stuff- well, technically it was taeyong’s idea but whatever- and we wanted to ask you to join?” 

you just blink at him and try to process what he said “and where is this coming from?”... why would he ask you of all people?

“don’t give me that face! i know you’re a ballerina!”

and then you just stare at him

how the heck did he find out? you don’t go around telling people that you do ballet,,, you’re pretty shy about that

“and you... you know this how, exactly?” you inquire

ten just grins at you “yves told me about it! she even showed me a video of a performance you did. you’re really good!”

“sooyoung told you- she what?” 

sooyoung, or yves as she’s nicknamed, is also a graduate from your school, and you’re quite good friends with her

“she’s joining our dance team too, and she recommended that we try and recruit you!”

“...” you’re not against this idea, really, but you’re a ballerina, and don’t know that much about more modern styles of dancing,,, 

“come on, it’ll be fun!” ten insists

“i’m a ballerina, though,” you protest “not like... a contemporary dancer or anything...”

“that’s fine! you can learn!”

you hesitate “who else is going to be there?”

“well... me, jisung, jeno, jaemin, taeyong, sooyoung, and heejin, so far! and you, if you say yes. i wanted to ask a few other alumni, but they’re too busy... oh well, what do you say?”

oh thank god heejin’s there, she’s your best friend

that makes it so much better- not like you have issues with anyone else, but still...

“okay, yes, i’ll join... if it’s not awkward or burdensome for you guys.”

ten’s face lights up “great! can i have your number to add you to the group chat?”

you offer him your phone “have you asked anyone else?”

“well...” ten shrugs “yeah, but they don’t have time. so it’s just the eight of us... we figure a smaller number will be easier to handle, anyway, so that’s fine. unless you want to ask your friends?”

“um...” that’s actually tempting, some of your friends are excellent dancers “well, hyejoo and yerim are great dancers but they’re hella busy... yeah never mind.”

hyejoo’s been cast as the lead role in the school drama and has hours and hours of rehearsal, while yerim’s schedule is packed with a bazillion clubs, teams and classes

ten just laughs as he hands back your phone “alright, that’s fine! first meeting is this friday, i’ll see you there”

you nod as he waves goodbye and runs off

your phone buzzes with an excited text from heejin and you smile as you read over it

(y/n)!!! you joined the group!! omg i didn’t know you even knew about it

you shoot back a text with i didn’t, sooyoung told ten i’m a ballerina

heejin responds almost instantly,,, and no one told me they were planning to recruit you? ugh why i would have given you so much praise 

you chuckle to yourself. shut up i’m not that good, you’re the amazing one

um... girlie, you are that good! and we’ll both be awesome together, okay?

then a notif lights up your phone from.... ‘taeten’s cult’???

oh,, must be the dance team chat, you realize- a message from taeyong

okay, everyone! we have a new member, it’s (y/n)

a text from heejin pops up in the chat ‘she’s an amazing ballerina!’

you sigh and retort, i’m not that good

heejin’s typing bubble shows up, but before she can shut you down, a text from jaemin pops up ‘oh, hey! welcome~’

over the next hour more welcoming texts are sent and,,, hey

you’re kind of looking forward to friday

but first: auditions for the big ballet production at your studio are tomorrow and you need to get in some last-minute practice today

you are a big ball of nerves because you’re aiming for the lead role and you have some serious competition

tomorrow’s audition comes and goes, and thankfully you seem to have impressed the director

so you just do what you usually do with auditions and don’t think about it

on friday you and heejin arrive at a practice room in taeyong and ten’s apartment complex

you more or less know everyone except taeyong, so you’re not that nervous

the two of you are the last to enter

everyone’s sitting in a circle on the floor

when ten spots you two, his eyes light up “oh, hey! they’re here!”

taeyong claps his hands “okay, kids, since everyone’s arrived-”

“yes mom,” drawls jeno

jisung and jaemin snort as taeyong sighs

the eight of you go around in a circle and introduce yourselves- like your name, your grade year, and a bit about yourselves like hobbies, interests, things like that

“hey, we need to decide on a name, don’t we?” sooyoung pipes up

“yeah, we do” taeyong just shrugs “i’ll put a small form in the group chat and you guys can send in suggestions”

“i like taeten’s cult,” ten declares

“...yeah... no”

the conversation devolves into a brief debate over how politically correct the word cult is in different situations before taeyong gets it back on track

“okay, guys! ten is going to split us up into pairs”

ten stands “alright, so the girls know each other, and the guys know each other, but there’s not much closeness between us besides that. through the power of rng and technology...” he waves his phone around “i’m going to sort us into pairs with someone we’re not so close with! so we can have team bonding and stuff”

it takes a few minutes for his app to load and he spins it a few times before announcing “okay, the pairs are... drumroll, please...”

jaemin, jeno, taeyong and heejin happily oblige him while sooyoung just chuckles

jisung shoots you a look like these idiots, right

“jaemin and sooyoung, jeno and taeyong, me and heejin, and jisung and (y/n)!”

the eight of you shuffle around so you’re next to your partners instead

“so just...” taeyong shrugs “talk to each other, get to know each other, stuff like that!”

jisung’s the first to speak- a bit nervous-sounding, and having a bit of trouble with eye contact “i’m really glad you joined...” he smiles shyly at you “i didn’t get to see any videos of you dancing, but ten and sooyoung said you were super good, and i believe them, so...” 

“oh” you can’t help ducking your head and focusing on the floor for a second before glancing up again “thanks...! i’m- i’m really not that good, though. i don’t really know modern dance styles... not that i can’t do it, i can, but it’s not really my specialty? unlike you guys. you’re super good”

jisung shakes his head, a dusting of pink on his cheeks “oh, come on. we’re- we’re not all that good, and i’m sure you can learn”

you chuckle “well, i suppose. i’m looking forward to it”

the two of you spend a few more minutes talking quietly about nothing in particular- school, dancing, things like that

and then taeyong speaks up “guys... ten and i forgot to tell you something”

he sounds a bit guilty

then ten speaks up, not sounding guilty at all

“okay, guys! we forgot to tell you, but we’ve signed this team to perform for a big city festival that’s happening in a few months”

“unfortunately, some of the other planned performers had to back out, so we got stuck with a really long time slot- like...” taeyong sighs “ours is more than ten minutes long...”

“so we just need to perform for ten minutes?” inquires heejin “doesn’t sound that bad.”

ten continues cheerfully “that’s not all! we didn’t want to just have all eight of us perform for that long, that’s boring, so to spice it up, we promised that we’d have some duet performances!”

silence for a few moments as ten pauses dramatically before finishing “that’s right, everyone, the partner you’re with now will be the person you perform a duet stage with!”

oh

well

jisung’s a good partner, actually,,, the only problem that you can think of is that you’re not good enough to match him

you’re fine with this though

“and you selected these pairs by random generator?” jeno yelps

ten nods happily while taeyong rolls his eyes in the back “right! if anyone has problems with their partner, speak now or forever hold your peace!”

you glance over at jisung

he just shrugs at you, smiling lightly

“i’m totally fine,” sooyoung chirps, and everyone follows suit with confirming that they’re fine with this arrangement

“okay, cool” taeyong stands up “ten and i are still choreographing the full group performance, so we don’t actually have anything else to do this meeting. just... we’ll meet again next friday, and meanwhile, you guys start planning the performance with your partners, okay?”

“yes, mom!” jaemin calls out

and with that the meeting ends

jisung pulls you aside before you leave “do you want to meet up tomorrow to decide what song to perform our duet to?” 

“oh! yeah, okay. where do you want to meet?”

“i’ll... i’ll tell you,” jisung decides “i’ll send you the address later”

you nod “okay, that’s cool! see you tomorrow then”

jisung smiles at you and you wave goodbye before leaving with heejin

to be honest, you are a bit excited to perform a duet with jisung- you’re always happy to perform on stage, and duets are usually quite fun

and he’s a great dancer

you know he’ll do his best, and so will you- thankfully, you already know him, so it’s not like your partner is a literal stranger like taeyong or someone you don’t know as well, like ten

not that you know jisung that well, but the point stands

as you go home, a couple ideas for types of duets you’d like to do pop into your head, and you take mental notes of them

that night, jisung texts you an address to go to and you send him back a thanks! do you have any ideas so far?

you’re a bit confused because the address has no floor or apartment number, it’s just a street address

does jisung live in an actual house?

before you can ponder any longer jisung responds with a couple. you’re a ballerina, right? so maybe we could do something more traditional. or a fusion. i don’t know, anything’s possible

you smile down at your screen and text back, yeah! if we end up doing something more your genre, like modern stuff, that’s cool too! i’d like to try that as well.

five minutes later the dance team chat rings with a text from taeyong 

whoever just sent ‘cabbage ass’ to the name submission form, please stop, thanks

you snort to yourself before wondering if you should submit a name

huh,,, you’ll think about it, you don’t have any good ideas as of right now

before you go to bed you and heejin text each other back and forth for a good forty-five minutes, mostly about the dance team performance

she’s excited too

which is nice- having your bestie with you makes it more fun

the next day, you wake up late because it’s a weekend, finish your homework, eat lunch and head out to the address jisung gave you

when you arrive your jaw more or less drops

it’s a huge house

...more like a mansion ngl

but.

it’s huge, and obviously belongs to a very, very rich family

jisung is standing at the entrance, and you trot towards him

when he spots you he waves and smiles “hi! good afternoon”

“good afternoon, jisung,” you greet politely, though you are still thoroughly shook “is this... is this your house?” 

“is this...” he looks surprised for a moment before laughing and shaking his head “no, it’s not, it’s chenle’s. his family is super rich. there’s a practice room in there that they almost never use, so chenle lets me use it all the time.”

you glance back and forth between him and the huge house

right, zhong chenle is rich, you forget that sometimes because he seems... more or less normal

“and... his parents are okay with this?”

jisung nods, heading towards the gate and gesturing for you to follow “yeah! his parents don’t mind.”

“is chenle here right now?”

“i don’t know. i’ll ask him. he knows we’re here, of course.” jisung shrugs “even if he’s not here, it’s... it’s fine for us to use the room, since chenle knows i’m not going to break anything or stuff like that.”

jisung pauses at the gate to type in a code and you ask, “so... you just use your best friend’s house for dance practice? even when he’s not here?”

“yep”

you shake your head, finding that setup somehow quite funny as jisung leads you into the house

and you try not to look too astonished at how grand the house is

you’re pretty sure some of it shows, though, since when jisung glances over at you, a faintly amused smile creeps over his face 

he glances away quickly enough, looking embarrassed at being caught observing you

the two of you arrive at a large dance practice room with a big mirror on one side of the wall and a little speaker system set up in the far corner

jisung plops himself down against the wall, looking completely comfortable making himself right at home 

you set your bag down as he pulls out his laptop from his bag “i brought this so we can look through songs and choreographies”

“okay” you sit down next to him “any ideas for the type of song?”

“i thought about... something more traditional, i guess? not totally old-fashioned, if you get my drift. but still. i’ve always wanted to try genres like that. they tend to have fun partner dances.”

“ooh..” you hum in agreement “that sounds fun, too. let’s start looking, then...” you pause as jisung pulls up youtube “do we need an original choreography or can we follow one?”

jisung pauses in his typing as he responds “i asked taeyong. it can be either, it’s up to us. he needs to approve it, though.”

“oh... what do you want to do, then?”

“i... i don’t mind either way” jisung shrugs “i guess... we can look through some choreographies first and see if any catch our eye, or if any songs sound particularly inspiring”

“i’m assuming it can just be one to two minutes, right?”

“yeah.”

and so the two of you begin your search for choreos and songs that you’d like to perform

it takes about twenty minutes for the two of you to find something

the song is fast-paced, latin-sounding thing, and the choreography is... well, it’s spectacular

you’re not sure what it is about this choreography but you immediately latch on to it. this is what you want to perform

it has a certain powerful, energetic spirit, it matches the song perfectly, and you can easily tell it’s painfully intricate and detailed- especially the partner elements

this is a legitimate couples dance

there’s no way for anyone perform the dance on their own- a partner is most definitely needed in this routine

you just. really want this song. 

so you check over at jisung and thank god

the look on his face is delighted and completely taken in by the video- it’s easy to see that he’s having the same thoughts as you

“i...” you clear your throat “i want this song. i like it.”

jisung smiles, looking happy at what you said “i like it too. so, we both want to do it- then... there’s no discussion necessary, right?”

“looks like it!”

“i’ll send it to taeyong, i’m sure he’ll approve it though” jisung picks up his phone and shoots off a message to taeyong before turning back to you “should we watch it a couple more times?”

you nod cheerfully “sure!”

as the two of you go through the video a few more times, you become more convinced that yes, this is definitely something you want to try

there’s something a bit concerning though

well. just a bit

the routine has a fair amount of bodily contact- like hands on waists, dipping, faces being one inch apart, hand holding, stuff like that

it’s not as if you’re super against that but

you don’t know jisung that well. you’re not super comfortable with him,,, but it’s easy to see that to pull this dance off, partners have to be extremely comfortable with getting up close and personal

that... creates a bit of worry for you

and it’s a bit embarrassing to think about

you really want to do it, but- perhaps... if he’s not comfortable,,,

as you chew on your lip you glance over at him,,, and yes, his face is a bit pink, he’s definitely noticed 

he coughs nervously “um... (y/n)- there’s... there’s not much personal space to be had in this routine... if you’re not comfortable with it then-”

“oh, no!” you shake your head “i’m- i’m fine with it, as long as you’re also okay with doing that-”

“i- i don’t have problems with it, don’t worry!” jisung ducks his head to face his feet, looking a tad embarrassed “it’s something new for me, but i’m willing to try”

“it’s new for me too” you offer “we can learn together!”

jisung looks very relieved, though his cheeks are still a bit redder than usual, and you’re pretty sure yours are too 

“okay, let’s both do our best then” jisung smiles at you before his phone buzzes “oh, it’s taeyong!”

he checks it briefly before his grin widens a bit “he said he likes it.”

“oh! that’s good”

“so, uh... do you want to start learning it right now?”

“i... i don’t know, let me-”

then your phone buzzes and your heart flutters with excitement

it’s the special notification sound you set for anything ballet-related,,, so... that must mean- audition results

“sorry, jisung, this is important, hold on-” you bite down on your lip nervously as you turn your phone on

a few seconds later a brilliant smile breaks out on your face 

“yes!” you squeal happily “i did it!”

jisung looks a bit confused “...did what?”

“sorry, didn’t tell you” there’s still a slightly giddy grin on your face “i got picked for the main role in the ballet production my studio is doing!”

“oh!” jisung’s face clears “congratulations!”

“i was really nervous, so- oh, this is good,” you chirp happily, sending back affirmation to the director before texting heejin about your successful audition

“...hey, (y/n)?”

“yeah, what is it?”

“if this isn’t weird...” jisung is fidgeting with his shirt “can i- can i see one of your ballet routines? i really want to see you dancing- i mean, if that’s not too odd-”

a strange feeling that is somewhat pleased and flattered fills you

“it’s no problem, of course!” you’re always happy to show people ballet

so you put on some music “this is the routine i auditioned with! it’s romeo and juliet, by the way.”

“...you got juliet’s part?”

“yep!” you smile cheerfully “that means i die in the end, but whatever”

jisung chuckles as you stand up,,, and you slip into the starting position, trying to ignore the fact that he’s there

it’s a bit embarrassing but you soon forget that he’s watching you

you let yourself go into the music and your surroundings fade away- your part is juliet, you’re juliet now, not (y/n), that’s the character you have to embody

this quick routine is basically muscle memory for you so it’s over before you know it

a slight blush appears on your face before you give a small bow and peek at jisung “was i good?”

his eyes are shining with thrilled excitement “you were great!” he exclaims “ten and sooyoung weren’t lying, i suppose... that was really good, (y/n!) you’re a good ballerina.”

your blush darkens and you hurriedly sit down, flustered “thank you... oh, but don’t say it like that, i don’t know how to respond-”

“no, seriously” jisung insists earnestly “you were really graceful and elegant, i liked it”

you giggle nervously, secretly delighted by the praise “i... thank you, jisung! it’s really nice to hear that”

after that, the two of you come to an agreement to meet up here again tomorrow- each of you will start learning your individual part at home, then start putting it together tomorrow

this arrangement comes to be mostly because jisung received a panicked text from one of his friends telling him that they forgot to finish a project

so today’s time is cut short

“do you want to grab something from the kitchen before leaving?” jisung offers “there’s a lot of stuff in there”

you frown “...is that allowed?”

“yeah! i’ve done it before”

so the two of you take a detour to the kitchen, and lo and behold, chenle’s actually there, sitting at the kitchen counter and watching something on his laptop

“oh, hey!” jisung grins “you’re here!” 

chenle looks up and a big smile breaks out on his face “jisung, hi! and (y/n) too~ you guys finished early!”

“yeah...” jisung smiles sheepishly “renjun and i forgot to finish our history project”

“oh, of course” chenle rolls his eyes teasingly “not surprised. oh, and if you’re here to get food, then go ahead, kitchen’s yours” he waves vaguely at the shelves behind him

so you pick up a couple of cookies before leaving chenle’s house and waving goodbye to jisung, who’s rushing home to do his project

when you get home the dance team chat buzzes again- it’s taeyong

two of the pairs have already decided on their choreographies! the rest of you, you still have time, but if you’re going to make an original choreography, you better start soon

you scan through a series of excited congratulatory texts from heejin

then taeyong texts again hey, does anyone know where ten is? he won’t tell me and i swear i’ll pay anyone who does know

a response from ten: i’m in church like a good christian boy

you raise your eyebrows, fighting a laugh as a reply from jeno pops up ‘it’s not even sunday, no one’s at church’

at the same time, jisung replies with ‘good christian boy my ass’

you roll your eyes 

watching ten send back aggressive protests and taeyong’s attempts to get things back under control is quite entertaining, but you have other things to do

like practicing your parts for the choreography you’ve picked

it’s really an interesting dance, with lots of little details that are quite difficult to get right

you’re still excited to do it though!

later on you receive the practice schedule for romeo and juliet and scan over it briefly

as planned, you show up at chenle’s mansion again the next day

jisung says a gentle, polite hello to you, and the two of you walk right in like it’s not someone else’s house

chenle’s in the garden, and the two of you greet him before going in

and you get right to business! jisung pulls up the choreography video while asking, “did you practice last night?”

“yeah, i did! i think i have the basic idea down for most of it. you?”

“me too, we just need to put it together now”

you have most of your part learned- the rest of it being details you glossed over and more importantly moves you can’t do without jisung

this will be hard to perfect

and so the two of you get right to it

okay, so yes, you were expecting a bit of awkwardness and embarrassment, and it hits right away

you haven’t actually had notable physical contact with jisung before and it shows

the starting position is your back pressed up against jisung’s front with his hands on your waist and your hands on his forearms

suddenly you’re wondering if this was such a good idea 

it’s just kind of weird being so close to him,,, your face is kind of warm and you think you can hear your heartbeat because it’s fluttering a bit faster than normal

but if you think you’re embarrassed,,,, you have not seen jisung

poor boy is basically hyperventilating internally

he hasn’t really tried partner dancing like this before??? so he’s super nervous,,, and he doesn’t know whether you’re comfortable

is he too close? should he move his hands higher? is he holding too tight, or too lightly? jisung doesn’t mind being this close, but he’s afraid that you mind

he’s also in the leading position for this dance so he’s going to have to take more initiative and that makes him nervous

so neither of you look at the mirror because you're both kind of pink and you don’t want to see it

“is- is this good?” jisung asks anxiously his voice is a little scared and it’s a bit endearing but you try to ignore that in favor of nodding

the two of you start to slowly move through the choreography- you both know the basic skeleton, but there are details, and you have to be careful to match each other

“we’ll get it eventually,” you giggle as jisung almost trips over your foot for the fifth time

he groans “,,, we really have to be less awkward to do this properly...”

“we’ll get there!” you promise over the next month, the two of you do get there and become closer, as does the whole dance team as a whole

taeten take the whole month and some to choreograph the full group dance because apparently they haven’t ever done it for such a large group before- they intend on having a detailed choreo and letting everyone be in the spotlight at least once- and they’re extremely busy

every friday they apologize for taking so long

but it gives everyone more time to practice their duets, so it’s fine!

the dance team’s high school members- which would be you, heejin, jisung, jaemin and jeno- start hanging out a fair bit after school

the boys have called you and heejin over to their lunch table several times,,, and the five of you are always throwing paper airplanes at each other in class to get each others’ attention

you’ve also decided on a team name! the eight of you are now named halcyon- the word means something like great prosperity and happiness, as well as recalling a mythological bird who could charm the sea into calm

over this month, you start getting busy. like really busy

ballet practice kicks into full swing and you have so much goddamn choreo to memorize,,, and you’re spending as much time practicing with jisung as humanly possible because you’re both awfully perfectionist

the two of you are a lot more comfortable with each other now though

practice pays off sjdhjhs spending so much time together has made the two of you a lot more familiar with each other

you’re now comfortable with physical contact- even a little bit in public is fine

like when the two of you sit together during lunch you can lean on jisung’s shoulder if you want, neither of you mind if your arms or legs are touching, little things like that

the two of you have made a habit of hanging out for a while after practice,,, like to get boba or whatever

you’re very close with each other now lmao

it’s just easy for the two of you to get along,,,and that doesn’t slip past the other members

heejin won’t stop needling you about it and how close you and jisung have gotten in such a short amount of time

especially given the duo choreo- the duos have to show what they’ve learned during practice and oh boy when you and jisung performed what you had perfected of your song for the first time

jaemin: leAVE SPACE FOR JESUS

taeyong: ...you two are really good at this wow you look so comfortable with each other

ten: is that a hanD ON A WAIST I SEE YOUNG MAN

heejin: eww why are you staring into each others’ eyes so hard is that part of the choreo

jeno and sooyoung: *literally catcalling*

the other members started teasing the two of you after that about how you had to pick a romantic sort of dance and how the two of you have excellent chemistry and look so comfortable with each other 

actually last week after you and jisung showed off the part where he lifts you off the ground and spins you around, you caught taeten cooing over how cute the two of you look together

also you posted a selfie of when one time you and jisung went out to get boba and jesus christ the comments on that one

you would think the two of you announced an engagement 

(everyone you know is crazy. that’s the conclusion you can draw from that ngl)

and it’s not just teasing from the dance team members, heejin sent the video of you and jisung’s dance to your other friends too so now hyejoo and yerim are always teasing you, especially after they saw that selfie-

“are you sure you’re not dating-”

and they’re not shy about doing it in front of both of you

apparently jisung is a complete tsundere and it’s actually pretty adorable like “we are nOT- what are you imPLYING”

you either just blush or roll your eyes, depending on the audacity of the teasing comment

it’s not as if you’re opposed to the idea of dating jisung, he’s sweet and adorable, but it’s just... not a thing

you’re not sure how he feels about it anyway so you just ignore the teasing,,, and he gets a bit pink when it happens, which is cute

soon enough ten and taeyong finish the choreography for the full group performance, and at the next team meeting, they start teaching it

(of course, the duos show off their dances first and in comes the customary round of teasing directed at you and jisung, but whatever.)

it’s pretty interesting! it’s a very detailed choreography built around eight members only with changing formations and all that

and it starts out easy

but then there’s one move. or one sequence of moves,,, that you just cannot get the hang of

your body just... refuses to move that way for some reason

it’s only an introductory teaching today to give a feel of what the choreo will look like though,,, so you don’t bring it up and decide to go over it at home

newsflash: you still can’t get it

it’s really disappointing, especially because everyone else could

you feel like you’re improving a little, but you still can’t get the hang of those moves and it’s very negligible improvement

plus ballet is starting to get stressful

so at the next meeting, when they start going into more detail, you feel yourself lagging behind

it’s not just those moves- you feel that your ability to do this genre of dance is lower than everyone else’s in general, and it’s noticeable

you just don’t look as sharp and smooth as the others do and it’s actually very embarrassing because you haven’t been this bad at anything involving dancing in a while

which leads to you being too afraid to try because you don’t want to embarrass yourself and show them that you’re not as good

so you just have a disheartened air the whole practice

and.... you’re really just not used to being bad at dancing

you’re pretty sure taeten, jisung and heejin notice- they’re all looking at you with concern, especially when it comes to that one sequence and you kind of just shrink

but you refuse to tell them what’s up,,,

you’re getting increasingly frustrated though

when practice is over you wave heejin away, not wanting her to be late to her tutoring, and she frowns, giving you a ‘you-wont-tell-me-but-i-know-you’re-sad’ hug before leaving to her tutoring class

the rest of the team is starting to leave when jisung tugs you aside

“hey, (y/n), what’s wrong? you seemed... really worried today”

“nothing,” you grumble, shaking him off “i’m fine.”

“you are not fine,” he insists, eyes wide and earnest “you looked so down the whole time. and you weren’t trying, i know you weren’t, i’ve seen you dancing before. what’s wrong?”

god, you don’t want to admit it to jisung of all people, jisung who’s so good at dancing and managed to pull off the choreo perfectly today, jisung who has such high opinions of you...

“(y/n)... come on...” jisung’s voice is sincere and concerned

you sigh “okay, look, i just... i know it might not be that difficult in reality, but i can’t seem to pull the group choreo off? i just look so awkward and not like the rest of you, and there’s that one sequence that i can’t manage to do properly? at least everywhere else i can pretend, but there, it’s really obvious that i can’t.”

you trail off, looking up at jisung, who looks pensive and thoughtful

it’s a moment before he speaks again, and he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the center of the room “come on, hurry”

“w-what?”

“you said you can’t pull it off well, right?” jisung smiles hopefully at you “well, i’m going to help you practice until you can”

“oh...” you feel your heart lift- he really is very sweet and caring, isn’t he... “but isn’t this... ten and taeyong are gone, this is their apartment complex- are we allowed to use this?”

jisung shrugs “well... they say no one ever uses it, so i think we’ll be fine”

“you- you don’t have anything better to do?” you question hesitantly

“this is something better, i want to help you,” he insists “it’s troubling you, and i don’t want that. besides, it’s always easier to learn dance with someone teaching you”

so you give in and you start going over the moves bit by bit

it really is easier with someone teaching you, and jisung’s actually quite a decent coach- he’s patient and gentle and encouraging,,, walks you through every step until you finally get it

he doesn’t get frustrated even when you do “just try again, i’m sure you’ll get it this time!”

hypes you up when he so much as spots a spark of improvement

and because you’re comfortable with physical contact jisung can just reach out and adjust your position whenever you’re off

you’re not sure how long you spend in the room but eventually you get it correct,,, not like you’re suddenly really good, but you manage to move through it properly and it doesn’t look awkward

“i did it!” you cheer happily, bouncing up and down “jisung, i did it~”

he’s grinning brightly “you did! good job!”

you tackle him into a hug because you’re kind of unreasonably happy about it “thank you so much, jisung!”

he stutters and blushes, but reciprocates happily “no problem”

it’s a few minutes and a few more run-throughs later when you cough “hey... what time is it?”

apparently it’s actually really late- like it’s dark out and you’re surprised no one’s come to kick you out of the practice room

you’re on your way out when jisung clears his throat “hey, (y/n)... cause it’s really late, i was just thinking- you don’t live far, right? w-would- would you... like me to... w-walk you home, maybe?”

you can barely respond without stuttering like him (and you definitely avoid eye contact) because that is painfully adorable and sweet and yes, you would like that

so he does 

it’s quite nice- just two friends walking through the night, talking about everything and nothing, giggling once in a while when something’s funny

the walk passes by in a blur because jisung is just so easy to be with and you’re simply happy to be around him

“we’re here,” you chirp “thanks so much for walking me home, jisung!”

“it was- um- it was nice walking with you,” he offers before smiling sweetly at you “are you up for duet practice tomorrow or are you tired?”

you grin back “i’m up for it! and, uh- thanks again for staying back to teach me the dance, really...”

“it was no problem,” he insists earnestly

and then you’re really not sure what possesses you

maybe it’s the way he’s smiling at you or the way the glow from the streetlights illuminates his face,,, you really don’t know

but you just lean in and touch your lips to his briefly

and then you immediately mentally regret it because what in god’s name did you just do

it’s not like it lasted for that long but still

jisung looks more startled than you “i- wh-”

“uh- yeah, thanks for everything tonight,” you squeak out, wondering where the hell that impulse came from “good night, jisung!”

and you hear him call an uncertain “good night” after you as you duck into your building

the second you’re out of sight though,,, jisung lifts his hand to his lightly tingling lips

his face is warm and pink and he can’t stop from smiling just a bit

meanwhile you’re fretting over whether you just ruined your friendship- which is probably paranoid of you, but you really have no idea why you did that, you just really wanted to kiss him all of a sudden apparently???

so the next day you’re terrified to hell and back that your dance practice with him will be awkward

thankfully it’s not

jisung seems happy to not bring it up and so are you,,, so you just don’t, and you go on as usual

except for that one part in the choreo where his face gets really close to yours

when you guys get to that part all you can think of is what you did last night and maybe what it would be like to properly kiss him again,,, and you turn bright red before tripping over him

which just makes him laugh

you think you hear him mumble “cute” but you’re too embarrassed over your mistake to pursue that thought further

the two of you head out to grab a snack again afterwards, as usual

on the way to the dessert parlor you both love, you’re walking along in comfortable silence before another impulse picks at your head again

you kind of want to hold his hand

it’s not like the two of you don’t link fingers once in a while when you’re sitting next to each other,,, but you don’t do it in public while walking around

and the thought of it makes you strangely flustered

so you just shrug to yourself and link arms with him 

jisung glances down and looks a bit confused before smiling hesitantly at you and relaxing

it’s nice walking arm in arm with him

standing in line at the counter to order, you feel a bit more fluttery than usual but you don’t think anything of it

next friday,,, it’s dance practice again!!!

and this time when you go over the full group choreo you manage to do the whole thing quite well

you grin happily and jisung catches your eye in the mirror before sending you a proud grin and mouthing good job at you

which makes you flush a little

but you’re mostly just really happy that you got it

after practice you, jisung, heejin, jeno, and jaemin go out to a coffee shop to chill for a while

it’s one you and jisung go to fairly often after practice

so you think nothing of ordering one of those big milkshakes to share like usual- you have the same favorite drink, and it’s just cheaper lmao

jisung’s stuck in the two straws and you’re taking a sip when you catch the other three staring at you

“...what?”

the three glance at each other knowingly

“that’s cute,” jeno sighs a moment later,,, jaemin pouts at him “why don’t you do this sort of thing with me?”

“...i did it once, i left for ten seconds and you drank eighty percent of it. never again.”

heejin tilts her head “so you two are just casually doing couple things now?”

“w-what?” you squeak “heejin-”

she raises her eyebrows “don’t act innocent, and don’t give me that look, jisung, sharing drinks is a thing dating people do-”

“we are not dating!” jisung yelps “we’re just-”

“we’re friends!” you add “sharing milkshakes is a friend thing too, guys, come on, i share drinks with you, heejin!”

“no, you don’t, i ask you and you let me take one sip before snatching it away,” heejin corrects

you roll your eyes but you can’t quite muster a snarky response

(your mind is back to when you kissed him last week,,, not that that kissing incident means anything-)

“maybe it’s a friend thing, but in general, it’s typically a couples thing to do and it has that sort of connotation,” jeno points out reasonably, eyes twinkling with amusement

jisung’s pink again and you still can’t think of anything to say

heejin raises her eyebrow at your lack of protest so she continues needling you,,, and later on jaemin snaps a picture of you and jisung for no reason

that night you found out he uploaded it with the caption i’m with other people but i feel like i’m third wheeling

he was nice enough to crop out your and jisung’s faces

but it’s still enough to make you turn red

heejin’s comment is the top one- not dating my ass

chenle’s is right under, asking inquisitively, who are they???

jeno just has a laughing emoji

and then there’s people speculating as to who it is

thankfully you don’t see your or jisung’s names anywhere- that would just be embarrassing

you scroll back up to eye the picture,,, and you have to concede that out of context, it does look like a dating picture, with the shared milkshake and oh god jaemin managed to catch the one second jisung was playing with your fingers to bug you

you try to forget about it

and it mostly works because stress from school is starting to really set in,,, besides, ballet practice is tiring you out a lot

then the next dance practice with the team rolls around

you’ve been practicing in the school dance practice rooms lately because some of the elderly have been booking taeten’s usual room for yoga and things like that

and you guys get to a part in the choreography where taeten are planning for you to do something fancy and acrobatic

once again, it was sooyoung who told them you could do that

taeyong gives you an idea of what he wants, and lo and behold, it is something within your ability so you go ahead with it

that part of the choreography is pretty difficult so you keep running through it

at some point though you start flagging a bit because you’re exhausted already and this isn’t helping

“do you need to take a break?” ten asks briefly

but you shake your head “i’m good”

what happens next is both a mistake on your part and jisung’s

you’re going into your acrobatic sequence when jisung doesn’t get out of the way fast enough

so you bump into him

and before you realize you lose your balance and fall hard onto your ankle

a shot of pain stabs up through your leg

instantly you know that you’ve probably sprained it,,, you’ve had a good share of foot injuries, being a ballerina

so you’re not too alarmed

(but it hurts a lot, so you let yourself shriek a little)

everyone around you immediately freaks out

“(y/n)!” heejin yells “are you okay?”

jisung kneels down next to you “i- i’m so sorry! i tripped you, i’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“it’s not your fault,” you mumble out, sighing as you sit up and start tugging on your shoe to examine your foot

the other members visibly cringe as you hiss and flinch

“no, don’t,” taeyong states sharply “you’re going to the nurse”

“but-”

“i’ll take you, come on,” jisung mumbles “i tripped you, so i’ll do it”

“jisung-”

despite your protests that you’re just fine, jisung walks you to the nurse’s office anyway

“thank god we’re at school...” you sigh out as you enter the office

the nurse quickly makes you sit down and checks your foot, and every time you glance over to jisung you frown

he looks so guilty and concerned, and winces when you do

“it’s a moderate sprain, just stay off it for a while, you’ll be fine in a week or two” the nurse smiles at you “i’ll write you a note and get you a cast, just stay right here”

she disappears into the storage room

“(y/n), i-”

“don’t apologize” you interrupt jisung and pat the empty spot next to you “come on, sit down, you look awkward just standing there”

he does and sighs “it’s just... you were in pain, and i hated that”

you soften a little “oh, come on, it wasn’t that much, i’ve sprained ankles before-”

“no, you don’t get it...” he falters a little “i- look, i just feel so guilty because it’s partly my fault, and i hate seeing you hurt- it’s just... i care about you a lot, (y/n), and i really like you. i like you so much- it hurts me when you’re like this even if it’s not a lot-”

he stops himself

“o-oh...” you blink at him “i-”

“oh, no,” he mutters under his breath “i’m sorry i said that, you don’t need that right now, i really didn’t-”

“no, jisung, what were you saying?” you interrupt, and you’re not sure where this is going or where you want it to go

“i didn’t plan for it to go this way...” he mumbles “i- i said, i really like you, i like you a lot, and it hurts me to see you injured even if it’s just a little bit, especially if it’s partially my fault...”

“you- you like me?”

he’s bright pink and can’t look at you “yes...”

“w-what? for how long?” your face is burning too

“i don’t know... i think i... i realized it after you kissed me, i liked it, and then i realized i liked you that way, but maybe i felt that way before...?” his voice, uncertain, lifts up into a wondering, unsure tone

“jisung-”

he rushes ahead “so i guess- what i want to get at is- i swear i didn’t intend for it to go this way, but the secret’s out so i might as well... will you- w-will you be-”

“your girlfriend?” you finish for him

“yes...”

“i will!” you announce happily, grinning all over

“you will?” he looks so delighted and startled that you giggle “yeah, i will! now that you’ve said it- i guess i was feeling those feelings too, i’m just happy when i’m with you. heck yeah, i’ll be your girlfriend!”

jisung just smiles widely and you’re about to lean in to kiss him properly this time when the nurse comes back in with your cast

you’re not sure if she heard

but she has a knowing smirk so actually you’re pretty sure

when the two of you go back down to the practice room, jisung announces that your ankle is only sprained

and then you chime in “we’re dating!”

the reactions are delightfully varied

ten shouts “taeyong, forK OVER mY moNEY-”

three different people declare “i told you so!” at the exact same time

jisung just sighs “i... i knew that was going to happen...”

“you bet on my love life?” you yelp indignantly while ten just nods proudly, pocketing a twenty 

(later you find out yerim and heejin were also betting on it and you almost kick heejin out the window)

but anyway

you’re both sort of new to dating so you just figure things out as you go,,, in a way, your relationship doesn’t change that much

but you’re both more open to more affection with each other now

hand holding under the table and just casually when you’re hanging out with each other

just being soft around each other everywhere you are

jisung will literally sprint ahead of you to hold doors open for you and is always offering to help you carry your stuff

loves playing with your hair

sitting or taking walks in silence just enjoying each other’s company

you’re both too shy to get too into it in public but you both love affection and skinship

you’ve kissed him in public a few times- mostly to see him blush

he’s still unused to it and will shove you away because he’s so impossibly flustered

but jisung’s just the best, cutest, most supportive boyfriend of all time and will basically do anything for you

#whipped

he comes to your ballet performance holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers

front row seat in the audience

he intercepts you after the show, grinning hugely “you did so good! you’re so beautiful, too. i really liked the part where you-”

and he rambles on and on before you push him playfully “jisung i need to go change, you can compliment me later”

jisung insists that you take the flowers though

so you do and you blush the whole way back to the changing rooms as all your ballet friends demand to know where you got those flowers from

after the show you meet him again and thank him profusely for the flowers

jisung just smiles and reaches for your hand quietly

you dodge that and just full on kiss him at the doors of the ballet studio because you’re giddy with after-show euphoria and you’re just delighted to be with him

aggressive cheering from everyone who sees it

jeno and jaemin wolf whistling

oh that’s right they were in the audience too but you weren’t paying attention to them

jisung drags you out to get dessert afterwards

“okay, well, i was a bit meh on the parts with you and the guy playing romeo...” jisung admits to you over his ice cream

you snicker at him “we had our festival performance already, but if you want to assert that yes, i’m taken by you once again, then by all means, you can audition for the next romantic ballet”

“oh god no i can’t ballet”

so you just laugh at him

and you hear one of the waitresses giggling about young love

which is basically what this is,,, just,,, you’re both awkwardly head over heels for each other