#ridiculisant

[drownedinapond]

I've been seeing mutuals or people I follow get hate for liking Regulus, and in an effort to not hijack anyone's post, I'll barf my thoughts out here to get them out of my head. Stuff gets stuck circling around there for weeks if I don't. Will get a bit political cause I'm me.

I don't want to rehash the points other people have made because they put it very well. I will include a summary though, for anyone who hasn't seen this stuff on their dash:

Death eaters are the magical version of members of Nazi or fascist parties, obviously. Pure blood supremacists are Nazi and fascist supporters, even though they're not directly members of the party. Why wouldn't they be if they agree with their views? It's a big undertaking, people view politics as a waste of time on any side of the political spectrum, it's risky to attach your name to anything official etc.

Walburga and Orion are clearly pure blood supremacists in the canon and if you don't think so, please work on your reading comprehension.

Real people are immensely influenced by their environment, especially as children; characters are supposed to be representations of real people; Regulus' unique mix of nature + nurture made it so that he is too afraid to disobey what he has been taught until he reaches his limit, and didn't have any support to spur him in the right direction, unlike Sirius.

I want to add on to that by talking about headcanons and their impact.

Firstly, headcanons, specifically in the Marauders fandom, are mostly treated as canon since we have so little to work with, and many of us disrespect the canon on purpose because fuck jkr. There are a bunch of headcanons that the majority of us agree on, such as Dorcas being in Slytherin, Regulus' animagus being a black cat etc. People that like Regulus, don't agree with or are ignorant of Canon Regulus, the very little that there is of him at that! They either like Headcanon/Fanon Regulus who makes a sincere effort to right his wrongs OR they are fascinated by Canon Regulus as an interesting character, which doesn't mean they endorse his actions (can't believe that needs to be said). Same thing applies for Evan and Barty.

The Fanon version has the amazing ability to show what circumstances might lead to someone having violently bigoted beliefs, and in some cases, what it takes for them to shed those beliefs and take accountability for their actions. In my opinion, it's incredibly important to show that narrative, especially as written by people with no financial stake in what they convey, because of the times we're living in. The USA is a good example.

The circumstances that majority of the citizens in the United States were raised in implanted bigoted beliefs in them, some more subtle than others. Those circumstances persist and even get worse. That does not mean Americans deserve punishment, isolation, belittlement or ridiculisation. Those things make bigotry worse. They need new thought models and to be shown that unity and diversity make life better and safer for everyone. It takes people of the global south and marginalised groups in their own country to liberate the average citizens from themselves and then their government. Punishment for the sake of punishment doesn't resolve anything, though some people might interpret responsibility and necessary violence as punishment.

That being said, Regulus might not be compared to an average citizen, since he was so rich, but I think many people that grew up in bigoted environments can see themselves in him, even if they don't fit his story beat by beat. If you reduce Regulus to his worst parts, what does that imply about their hope that they can make a difference? If you wish Regulus' character and those similar would be collectively hated by everyone in the fandom, what does that say about them? Still, in a way, people that reduce Regulus to his worst parts add to the poetry: you can choose to do good in spite of the fact that you will always be viewed as evil, and that good still counts more than everyone else's opinions of you. (Hello Wei Wuxian)

I know people's hurt feelings aren't our focus in the cause of global liberation and I agree, victims should definitely come first, but hurt feelings lead to action. We could use all the manpower we can get, therefore it's better to make allies rather than enemies. And allies are made with understanding and patience. Not everyone has the strength of character to go against everything they've ever known on their own, as exemplified by Regulus.

So I do think that people bashing others for liking him are getting on a moral high horse and losing the bigger picture. If you categorise characters as good and bad, it's a sign that you have the tendency to do that with real people too, which is dehumanising. You can change though, like Regulus did 👍

*you can be part of a marginalized group and still hold bigoted beliefs, obviously...

**I'm not speaking out of my ass on real world comparisons, I've been reading books on political and social issues for years.

***I've been debating if I should tag you as a show of support, @messingwithmoony, for literal hours at this point, so I will choose to do it in hopes that it's a nice gesture, BUT if you are uncomfortable with it in any way, please dm me and I will remove this part! There are absolutely no hard feelings whatsoever!

[ribesballtarot]

KENAN YILDIZ'S IDEAL TYPE

Team: Turkiye National Team

What is his ideal type?

Five of wands, judgement, two or cups, five of swords, knight of pentacles, the chariot, the devil, ten of wands reversed

His ideal type is someone who can put up with a fight, who doesn't need anyone to defend their honour, who can cover that job by themselves perfectly fine. He definetely isn't into the soft cutesy type but more so an intimidating and strong-presenting persona. This is someone who is also willing to put themselves in danger and risk being ridiculised. This type is firey, very much so abrasive. He likes a resolutive and upfront person who doesn't need help and has their life together, who does not crak under pressure and can take anything.

What personalities does he feel more attracted to?

Nine of cups, five of swords, eight of wands, seven of cups reversed, queen of cups

As I've mentioned before, definetely someone who is upfront and confrontational, who wouldn't let problems linger more than necessary and would want to talk about them —or better yet, fight them through— to find a solution. Personalities that are multifaceted, who can show different sides of themselves to make the other comfortable. Sensitive enough to carry the household and still be sane enough to want to talk you through your issues, nutritional, mature. A hard-worked, who even if they're not at the top of the food chain they have something going on for them. He doesn't necessarily like someone who is up in the clouds, very creative or mystical. He wants something earthy, someone who is aware of the world's current situation. Up to date.

XIX

[vitzi9]

TW/CW: horror, stalking, weirdo Ethan, ghostface, mention of puking

Happy Halloween !

(31/10/2023) (2 228 words)

It's a miracle you agreed to go to that stupid party to begin with.

But Ethan insisted so much that you gave up. He told you he needed to tell you something really important. And, well, you've been flirting with him since forever. The hope he was finally going to ask you out was really present.

You terribly want him to ask you out.

It was a Halloween party, so you had to be disguised. Honestly, you are not too fond of these parties. You rather be in your living room partying with your friends, instead of strangers. But Ethan could ask you to jump out of your window that you'd do it.

So you bought a firefighter outfit from the nearest store and went with it. It's enough. Not good or bad, but enough. you had no idea what to wear anyway. It's not sexy, because you're cold, but it's not ugly. You don't think you'll be staying long anyway. As soon as Ethan's here, you kiss him and you leave.

But your plan turned out to fail miserably as you have no damn idea where your man is at.

You've been searching for him for age and the little fun you had completely faded out into the wind.

You've been wandering in the living room and the kitchen for too long. Did Ethan stand you up ? No, he would never do that. You know him. And, not to be mean, but he does not have a lot of people running after him. He's too shy to do the first move. So he won't miss this chance. Well, you hope anyway.

Deciding that you know the living room by heart, you head to a new area of the house, discovering the garage. The car that were previously here, deducing by the tire mark on the ground, was moved. Logical for someone hosting a party like that.

You sit on the workplan. It seems like tools were here before, but removed just like the car. You lay your back on the wall and close your eyes for a minute. When you think about it, you could've also come with your normal clothes. Because there is some disguises here that look just like everyday outfit.

You could have spare some money and not ridiculise yourself with this outrageousely lame firefighter disguise.

When someone push the door open, you're forced to come back to reality. Your hope of finding Ethan standing before you disappear as a Ghostface arrive.

You thought he would head back after seeing you, or at least go sit a little further from you. But he does all he opposite.

He walks up to you without a word and stand still in front of you, right in the middle of the garage. Okay, what is this now.

You feel naive for thinking whoever that was would speak up because he stays dead silent. You're getting uncomfortable. Not because it's Ghostface, but because you're thinking of the person under the mask staring at you so creepily.

Ghostface doesn't scare you, men does.

"Uh hello ?

Ghostface doesn't budge. Maybe he can help you find Ethan ? If you describe him to him, you can try to extract information.

"Well, while you're here. Have you seen my boyfriend ? He's... You know what ? Just forget it." You gave up when he didn't even move. It's like he doesn't hear you.

Plus, you don't even know what Ethan's costume looks like, no need to ask people. It won't work.

How are you going to find him ? It's useless to call for him out loud, he won't hear with the stupidly loud music blasting through the whole house.

"Are you gonna, like, stay here and stare at me ? It's getting awkward."

Ghostface doesn't answer. A sigh leaves your lips. Tired, you take out your phone in order to call Ethan. Of course, because your life always has to be ten times harder for no reason, he never pick up. And the stranger before you seriously start to piss you off.

"Can't you go annoy someone else ? Your costume isn't even fun, or scary, you guys are like twenty to be dressed like that tonight !

What's going on with being Ghostface ? Is it the new mode ? Did you miss something ?

-Do you like scary movies ? His modified robotic voice asks. Damn, some people are really giving their best in their disguise this year. He has to be rich or something to able to buy himself a voice changer.

-You're cringe." Escapes you like a bad reflex.

Who does he thinks he is ? Ain't no way you're feeding his stupid scenario. Ghostface uses his two pointer to draw you a heart in the air. You frown your brows and questions him with your eyes but he doesn't say anything. Did he just flirt with you ? Doesn't your firefighter outfit shows your lack of enjoyment of this night ?

What a shitty night.

You don't want to be the center of attention tonight. The only attention you want is from someone who's not even there.

You jump from the workplan to the ground and leave the place, closely followed by your new pain. Hands in your pocket, you wander without goal nor direction in the hallways of the big house, stumbling upon rooms, closet and just anything and everything.

Your Ghostface was still here, of course. Why would he leave you alone after all ? This asshole doesn't have anything better to do.

You tried to call Ethan several times again but to no avail. You weren't even annoyed anymore, just plainly confused and worried. Did you do something to upset him ? He always answer your calls at the mere second you press the button.

And with the man following you around, your sanity was starting to go low. Stopping suddenly your track, Ghostface hits your back because of him walking so close to you. You turn around, a scowl on your face.

"Will you leave me alone ?"

He draws another heart in the air then point himself and you.

Sighing, you leave the room and almost run to the kitchen in order to grab a new drink. After pushing and squeezing through people all over the living room, you end up at your destination. A group is here, a few Ghostface as well. You roll your eyes and take a can of anything but alcohol, not wanting to get drunk tonight.

All you wanted was Ethan and he was nowhere to be seen.

Seriously, you're here for him and he's not ? He begged you to come, it was his idea ! You try to think of different costumes he could wear. Last year, he wore a cardboard costume of a knight. Maybe this time he's Spiderman ? Something like that. You can definitely see him in a Spiderman costume. Or Ghost from Call of Duty. Fuck, there is like a thousand of different outfit he could wear tonight.

But you know for sure he's not a Ghostface.

Everyone is already dressed as it. Ethan is more nerdy, Ghostface is too bland. There's no personality to it. Of course it can be sexy in a different context. But damn, when there's so much of them, it's just boring. And you doubt Ethan would wear something sexy. You'd love him to, but you can't have everything.

Speaking of it, another of them arrive. He's alone and he lays his weight on the wall at your opposite. Is it him again ? Then, he just completely stop moving, not grabbing a drink. You can't tell if he's looking your way or not, as his mask hide completely his face.

It's possible you're getting paranoid but with this stupid Ghostface following you everywhere, you have some reasons to. Though, maybe it's not him. There is high chance it's not him. There are so many different Ghostface tonight.

But when he raises his hand to wave at you, you just sigh and roll your eyes. That's it, you give up. Throwing your can in the nearest bin, you push yet again everyone to hide in a room. Quickly looking behind you, you can't tell if someone's following you or not. You have to stop in your track to let people get down from the staircase's step to finally go up yourself.

First thing, you rush to the bathroom and lock the door. The music is muffled but still here. A bad headache is already coming your way. You turn on the faucet and throw water at your face after taking a big breath. It's better but you're still alone and bored. Plus, you're hot. So you slide down the zipper and sit your back against the bathtub.

When you think about it, maybe Ethan won't even ask you out. Maybe he just wanted to party with you and told you he had this 'something really important to tell you' just to make you come. Either way, he's not here. You don't know what to think.

You have the umpleasent feeling you wasted your night. Spending it in your bed would have been much better. With or without Ethan.

Maybe he was going to come but changed his mind ? No, Ethan's the nicest guy you've met here. He's not like that. And even if he changed his mind, he would've told you. He's not an asshole.

But then where is he ? Is he already down there ? But how come you don't see him ?

You decide to give up, closing your eyes and trying to ease your mind. Whether he comes or not, it's too late now. You're already here in your stupid disguise.

Your short moment of peace is interrupted by someone knocking and hitting dangerously hard the wooden door, followed by a loud 'Open!'. All you can do is afflict yourself pain by knocking your head on the edge of the bathtub. Why are you here ? You don't deserve that.

Slowly standing up, you unlock the door and immediately get pushed against the wall by an impatient man. You curse, he doesn't even hear, so you leave. In the corridor, your eyes sweep the living room from the interior balcony where there is still no signs of Ethan.

Multiple Ghostface are coming and leaving everywhere but only one catches your attention. He's laying on the wall just in front of the bathroom, as if waiting. You hope it's not him again. He has a hand behind his back, hiding whatever he's holding while the other rises up to wave at you.

Putting your hands in your pocket, you tilt your head to the side when you see him draw another heart with his index, with more difficulty this time as he's only using one hand. Now, you're convinced it's the same Ghostface that you saw earlier. Has he been following you ? Fuck, he has.

Where is Ethan when you need him the most ? You don't have the strength to deal with this guy right now. Smiling fakely, you flip him off and head to the opposite direction. Which is a dead end as Ghostface was placed right before the stair, preventing you from going back to the living room. So you have no other choice but to hide in another room until he leaves you alone.

And that's what you do, you chose a random room and knock on it, hoping there is no one fucking inside. Anxiously waiting for someone to answer, it's when silence fills your ear that you push the door open.

Taking the room in, your blood runs cold. Eyes widening and hands getting sweaty. So shocked that you let the door wide open behind you. They're not real, right ? Before you, a woman is laying on the bed, blood splashed on the sheets and the wall, she is wearing a Coraline outfit. On the ground, two other people in the same state. A man and a woman this time. A devil and a vampire.

They're scarily well done. They look so real. Too real.

You move forward, desperately wanting to be sure. With your pointer, you touch the leg of the woman spread on the bed and feel goosebumps rising on your whole body when it's supple. And warm.

Just like real skin.

A nervous laugh is the only answer you can muster. The music is still going in the living room, so it's fake. They're fake, right ? Yes, yeah of course they are. There is no way something like this could happen right now. In a place where so much people are reunited. It's just a regular decoration of Halloween, of bad taste, but still.

You hope nobody enters while you're here for what you are going to do, as depending on the outline of it, you'll either be fucking creepy or stupidly awkward. Heading to the head of the bed, you touch the hair of the woman on it. It's a blue wig, of course, she's disguised. Wait. She's disguised ? Nobody dress up a mannequin, no ? You remove the hair and realize with horror that real hair are under it.

It can't be, right ? Lastly, you poke her cheek and force open her eye. If it's fake, it's not supposed to have realistic eye. But it's a fucking real and brown eye that stare at your soul when you lift the lid.

Okay, now what the fuck ? It's not funny anymore. Where the fuck is Ethan ? Your breath get stuck in your throat. You are going to throw up if you stay here a minute too long. You need to get the fuck out of here.

You back up slowly but end up stumbling into someone's chest. A scream leave you, you jump in terror and search the head of the guilty who stopped you to flee. But the only thing you're able to see is this fucking Ghostface mask. It's him. You just know it. He's been following you everywhere. You just know it's him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you ?" you yell, feeling your sanity disappear the more you were staying here.

Ghostface tilts his head to the side and the hand he had until now almost hidden behind his back comes up at the front, displaying you the bloody knife he had in hand.

You could have thought it was fake. Only, the blood was dark and drooling on the floor leaving wet red drop on it.

Just like real blood.

He's swinging the weapon from left to right on loop. All the bad words and mean behaviour you could have gave him start to whiplash in your face. If you knew he was a fucking psychopath, you would have drew him a heart too.

"Do you have a boyfriend ?" He asks.

"He's... He's not here yet." You answer partially honest. Now that he was potentially dangerous, you had no problem answering his stupid questions.

"Really ?" Ghostface says, toying with his knife. He was playing with you.

From the corner of your eyes, you're still able to see the corpse of the woman on the bed and you want to puke at the thought of her.

"Are you the one who did this ? You ask in a shaky voice.

-Yeah. Of course. He stays nonchalantly, shrugging.

-Why ?

-Three people, just like us.

For a second, you wonder who's he talking about when saying 'three'. Because you are sure there is only two people here. Does he have allies ? Maybe someone hiding in the room without you knowing ? Fuck, you hope not.

-Three, for you and your two boyfriends.

-I don't have two boyfriends. Hell, you don't even have one to begin with.

-I wouldn't be so sure if I was you.

What does he know about you ? Who is he ? Why is he so sure about it ? What is going on ? There's dead corpses behind you, you need to get the fuck out of here.

You can see people in the corridor but it's like they can't see you. Hell, they probably think he's another Ghostface like there already is.

If you move or scream, you have the feeling he won't hesitate to use his knife against you.

-W-What ? What do you mean ?

The man rises his knife forcing you to shut your eyes in fear. He's tracing forms on your face with it, gliding it to your chin to your lips and then to your cheek.

You don't dare to move even a single muscle, you stopped breathing. You know he probably left bloody marks on your face. The weight on your lips tells you everything. There's blood on it, and it's not yours.

-If I remember correctly, I had something really important to tell you, am I right ?"

What the fuck ?

[awful-cadillac-hearse]

Concept for Magic Menace, a ridiculised old magician that haves a hatred for anyone crossing his path

[noahlepetitprince]

"Shostakovich string quartet No.8 Op.110" has to be one of my absolute favourite classical compositions. It perfectly depicts an immense loss, that no words could ever make a perceiver understand. A music accurate enough to make you thrive and keep you going on just the expression, and concretizing of feelings you get from it. At last, words were not needed. Words that one once cherished as his biggest ally. Words that were his only way of getting his feelings out and into the world. Were now, and after his immense loss, ridiculised and lost. Wasted. He feels gutted. Everything he said, everything he put his whole person into, turned out to still be insufficient. In a perceiver's eyes, at least. Humans, have always been naturally cruel, sickeningly superficial, all of that in exchange of a bit of ephemeral joy, that quickly ran cold and always brought them back to the miserable being they forever remain.

[clhook]

mon petit secret beauté & anxiété sociale : dans un restaurant ou bar que je connais pas j'attends toujours que quelqu'un de ma table aille aux toilettes même si j'ai très envie d'y aller, puis 5-10 minutes après son retour je lui dis innocemment "tiens je vais aller aux toilettes c'est par où ?" pour éviter de me ridiculiser en cherchant par moi-même 💅💅💅

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Elle arrivait en retard souvent, elle oubliait ses affaires aussi souvent, elle baillait à l'école tout le temps. Elle avait 17 ans et le matin elle changeait les draps, elle préparait les médicaments, elle aidait sa mère à s'asseoir à s'habiller à manger un peu. Elle faisait vite une machine, aérait la pièce, l'avait le sol. Puis elle filait à l'école sans avoir eu le temps de prendre son petit déjeuner. Personne ne lui a demandé pourquoi elle n'avait pas rendu son exposé, il valait mieux la ridiculiser sur sa paresse, un oubli de sa part nous avons fait fis. Juste parce qu'on ne savait pas. Elle est sortie du système, elle est entrée dans la vie active comme on le dit, pas celle des ados, l'autre qui use. Et pourtant elle avait la patience, la pudeur, elle savait ce qu'accompagner voulait dire. Les jeunes aidants existent. Ils comprennent le monde bien avant nous. Alors au lieu de vous suffire à vous même gardez vos moqueries, interroger l'autre, intéressé vous a son quotidien à son être, et qui est cette personne face à vous ???. Est-ce que vous avez croiser ces jeunes qui grandissent trop vite ???

[mare-avatars]

C'est fou hein, à chaque fois que quelque chose ne te plaît pas, tu pars en chasse aux sorcières en cherchant le plus d'arguments possibles pour démolir la manière de faire des autres. Peut-être que si certaines personnes offrent un certain anonymat dans le rpg, c'est à cause de gens toxiques comme toi qui pense que seule sa manière de penser et de faire est la bonne, et qui va cracher sur tous les autres. Laisse donc les autres gérer leurs forums comme ils veulent, et s'il y a de la clientèle pour ça, c'est que ça convient à certaines personnes. Si ça te convient pas, passe donc ton chemin sans chercher à forcer les gens à agir comme toi tu le penses bon dans ton petit monde extrêmement étroit.

OH PUNAISE MERCI !

Ça commençait à faire super longtemps que je n'avais pas été accusée d'être toxique en anon, qui plus est par quelqu'un qui rate complètement le point de mon billet pour sortir des âneries pareilles !

Je n'ai pas de crayons de couleur sous la main pour te faire un dessin mais je vais tenter d'expliquer ça plus simplement : chacun·e fait comme iel veut mais tout le monde doit être en pleine possession de TOUTES LES INFORMATIONS NECESSAIRES pour faire des choix vis-à-vis de sa sécurité numérique.

Si les gens veulent jouer sur des forums où ils sont anonymes, franchement let's go, j'ai juste partagé des points que tout le monde n'a pas. Des points qui justement pourraient aider à être réellement anonyme, pour celleux que ça intéresse... Je me demande si tu captes l'ironie dévorante de ton message -- "gngngn dis pas aux gens comment être anonyme sur des forums anonymes..." Pourquoi est-ce que tu veux que les gens s'inscrivent sur un forum en partageant des infos sensibles ? Sérieusement, qu'est-ce que tu prépares ?

Dans tous les cas, t'étais trop occupé·e pour réfléchir et t'étais tellement déter à me chopper par le col que tu as décidé de te ridiculiser en m'envoyant un message à côté de la plaque. Si je te dis de trouver un autre passe-temps pour t'occuper parce que le RPG ce n'est vraisemblablement pas assez, tu vas encore dire que je veux forcer les gens à agir d'une certaine manière ou tu vas réussir à comprendre que je suis juste en train de t'envoyer promener ?

(Purée, si c'est l'admin du forum anonyme qui a utilisé son compte principal sur PRD pour faire de la pub pour le forum en question, je ne vais pas m'en remettre, y'a pas à être aussi bête...)

[aisakalegacy]

Été 1925, Hylewood, Canada (3/4)

Je ne connais pas ton Jean, mais je me méfierais quand même un peu si j’étais toi, si d’autres personnes qui semblent le connaître et qui sont habituellement de bons juges de caractères, te disent de te méfier. Je sais qu’il existe des femmes qui sont des coureuses de fortune, mais je ne serais pas stupéfait d’apprendre l’existence de leur équivalent masculin. Je ne m’y connais pas vraiment en socialisme. Je sais que ma grand-mère en était une. D’ailleurs nous avons plusieurs de ses ouvrages dans notre bibliothèque familiale. Il m’est arrivé de les feuilleter, mais pas assez pour être en mesure de commenter les éventuelles contradictions dans les idées de ton frère. On n’apprend pas cela au pensionnat méthodiste épiscopalien…

J’ai bien ri en lisant les protestations de ton père. Ses inquiétudes sont charmantes, mais qu’il ne s’en fasse pas pour moi. Je ne fais pas d’études, c’est vrai, mais je n’en suis pas chagriné. J’aime la pêche, j’aime la guitare, et quand je ne suis occupé ni à l’un, ni à l’autre, je suis à Kingston où je travaille dans l’industrie maritime pour une compagnie montréalaise. Nous exploitons des cargos et des paquebots à vapeur pour transporter du charbon, du fer et toutes sortes d’autres choses dont je fais peu de cas. En revanche, j’apprécie particulièrement tout ce que j’y apprends sur la gestion portuaire. J’ai commencé à avoir une idée, mais je ne veux pas t’en parler tout de suite de peur de me ridiculiser si elle ne se réalisait pas.

[Transcription] Lucrèce Rumédier : (rire) Vous m’avez dépassée ? C’est peut-être vrai. Vous avez un génie naturel pour la musique que je n’ai pas. Mais j’ai plus d’expérience que vous, et c’est un atout que vous ne devez pas négliger. Lucrèce Rumédier : Je savais qu’avec assez de pratique, j’arriverai à faire de vous un pianiste aguerri. Je crois que j’ai réussi mon objectif. Agathon LeBris : Alors si je suis si doué que vous le dites, qu’est-ce qui m’empêche de me lancer, maintenant, et de faire carrière ? Lucrèce Rumédier : Vous êtes bien naïf si vous pensez que par votre simple talent, vous passerez les auditions pour des théâtres prestigieux sans qu’on ait jamais entendu parler de vous avant. Agathon LeBris : Je pense que vous êtes simplement jalouse qu’une carrière de pianiste s’offre à moi, alors qu’elle vous a été refusée. Lucrèce Rumédier : Et vous pensez mal : je suis très heureuse de mon anonymat. Vous aviez raison tout à l’heure. Je n’ai plus grand chose à vous apprendre concernant la maîtrise du piano. Lucrèce Rumédier : Mais vous êtes trop jeune pour l’instant pour faire carrière, et je vais m’assurer que vous continuiez à pratiquer. Votre égo est trop grand, et je ne supporterai pas qu'à cause de lui, votre talent se gâche.

[heretherebedork]

Its crazy that so many people are mad that queer people are scared to come out. Who the fuck would willingly put themselves in danger?

I hate how the writers and the viewers treat Do Han. I also hate when a show ridiculised queer people for being scared to come out. The same people who make society a hostile environment for queer people are mad that queer people want to hide. The irony!!

I hate how this show wants me to care about a straight pairing over the suffering of a queer person. I am sorry but anyone who enjoyed the show is homophobic. There is no excuse.

I'm not going to go that far. There are plenty of people who enjoy this show who might also be critical or who might be young or who might just never have thought about this. And there are people who enjoy plenty of shows that shock me a lot more than this one, frankly.

But I do hate how the writers treated him. I hate the narrative that staying in the closet is lying and selfish and cowardly when, frankly, the first time Do Han tried to come out he was literally stopped and his grandfather has always known he was gay and still tried to force him into a straight marriage. Like... of course he didn't want to come out! The fact that everyone just accepted him is inauthentic to the rest of the show and makes me uncomfortable.

The biggest issue in the show is the framing of the ex outing him to Ji Han as a favor. That's just icky. It's horrifying, It's the worst thing I've seen in a while and shows me that there probably are not any queer people working on the show (or with the power to influence it, at least). Because that sentiment? Hooo boy. Unpleasant!

Anyway, it's over. It can't hurt us anymore. And Do Han got to be a gay artist in New York and he only have to visit home once a year or so.

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Pourquoi je sens que je vais me ridiculiser,,

[aurevoirmonty]

« Le système et l’hédonisme ridiculisent l’épargne, la prévoyance, la respectabilité, la pudeur, la retenue, tous les bons sentiments d’antan. »

Pier Paolo Pasolini

[e642]

Ça va encore parler de ma relation. Je ne suis pas dans le déni, je sais qu'en parler autant de manière négative est absolument révélateur de l'état de l'art de cette dernière. J'ai besoin d'en parler ici parce que mes parents n'ont jamais ete très intéressés de savoir mes états d'âme, notamment sentimentaux et qu'en plus il y a des choses qui font tilt. Évidemment que je n'avais pas d'intérêt à parler de la tromperie à mes parents ou potes proches car j'ai continué avec lui. Si je l'avais fait, s'en serait suivi de nombreux "tu te plains mais en même temps t'aurais dû le quitter", "moi j'aurais pas pardonné", ect. Ça aurait créé une atmosphère apte aux jugements/opinions tranchants non désirés, de l'inconfort et peut-être même du dégoût. Aucune relation bâtie sur ce genre d'acte et de déception mène à quelque chose de viable surtout quand tu sais que la plupart des gens font leur maximum en début de relation pour se donner bonne figure. J'ai espéré que son comportement n'ait pas eu lieu lors de son maximum et que les comportements positifs d'après ne seraient pas motivés dans le seul but de me rassurer. Dans les faits, il y a eu des hauts et des bas depuis, j'essaie aussi de me modérer, j'ai des insécurités qui biaisent ma sensation d'être aimée, le fait de faire assez, le fait de vouloir qu'on se la donné pour moi. J'ai entendu souvent "il y a des phases dans une relation", c'est vrai, pas rassurant mais en début d'année j'allais le quitter puis après ya eu 2/3 mois idylliques et à nouveau de la merde (maintenant). Depuis que j'ai validé mon année, je suis à la merci de mon esprit malade. Je me questionne très -trop- fréquemment sur cette relation. Pourquoi ne pas partir maintenant ? Pourquoi vouloir attendre que l'autre faute ? Est-ce que je regrette cette relation ? Qu'est ce qu'il s'est passé pour que je bafoue à ce point mes standards ? Qu'est ce que j'attends ? J'ai la réponse à toute ces questions, ça ne me fait pas toujours plaisir et ça montre mes failles. Peut-être pas les mêmes qu'avant, ou avec des variantes. Je remercie seulement ma lucidité. Aujourd'hui j'ai reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire, qui a mis plus d'un mois à arriver, et pendant ce mois là beaucoup de choses se sont dégradées en réalité. Quand je l'ai ouvert ce matin, je me suis dit qu'il ne le méritait pas, que c'était vraiment un trop beau cadeau pour quelqu'un qui en a pas grand chose à foutre. C'est vrai, ça me fait pas si plaisir que ça de lui offrir mais je pense à une chose bête : ma ligne de conduite. Il y a quelques mois, quelqu'un m'a demandé pourquoi rester/pourquoi ne pas me comporter comme lui, et j'avais répondu que je serai carré jusqu'à la fin. Je serai honnête, cordiale et présente jusqu'à la fin pour être irréprochable. Peut-être que je m'en voudrais quand ce sera fini, évidemment je me demanderai pourquoi m'être démenée pour rien, mais ça passera parce que j'ai conscience dans ma relation qu'il n'y a pas d'équité, que je suis le trop même en pensant être le pas assez. Je le fais en connaissance de cause en hommage au respect, aux bons moments passés, aux reproches qui ne pourront pas être formulés. Je serai restée moi, avec mes gestes, mes efforts. La seule chose sur laquelle je ne suis pas entièrement honnête c'est mon deuil.

J'ai souvent entendu qu'une femme prend sa décision, y réfléchit, commence le deuil avant la réelle rupture. C'est ce qu'il se passe pour moi, non sans peine et non sans savoir que j'en aurais quand même quand ça arrivera. C'est dur de quitter quelqu'un parce qu'il.elle ne semble pas suffisant pour nous, ça paraît méprisable comme argument et pourtant... Oui. Oui je conçois que ça puisse être un motif, le plus blessant et le moins légitime souvent mais je conçois. Derrière les "c'est pas toi c'est moi", les "on était pas sur la même longueur d'onde", et autres phrases grotesques, j'entends l'insuffisance. Elle est dure à entendre c'est pour ça qu'on se ridiculise à essayer d'appuyer ça avec des mots plus flous, équivoque mais on en revient là. C'est dur de quitter quelqu'un pour ce qu'il est fondamentalement et je le sais c'est pour ça que j'attends des évènements qui lui feraient tilt aussi. Quoiqu'il en soit, j'ai de l'affection pour lui et le fait que j'en parle si pragmatiquement est une défense. On se prépare comme on peut à une rupture mais je ne suis pas dupe, ça ne sera jamais suffisant.

[mister-snake]

8 ans d’amitié pour que tu brises ma confiance, 8 ans d’amitié, tout ça pour 5 ans de haine.

8 ans pour bousiller notre relation, pour jouer avec mes émotions, pour anéantir mon humanité.

8 ans pour raviver ma haine, provoquer mes crises impulsives, ridiculiser ma souffrance.

8 ans pour consumer mon énergie, pour devenir une connasse égoïste et imbue d’elle-même.

8 ans avant de me laisser voir ton vrai visage, pour me faire comprendre l’enflure que tu es devenue.

Malgré que j'étais faible devant toi, que je t’ai permis de te servir de toute ma vulnérabilité grâce aux confidences que je t’avais faite,

C’est devenu ma force, ce qui m’a formé, ce qui m’a rendu obsédé par ma réputation, par désir de paraître intouchable, indifférent, fort.

Je suis devenu si sombre. J’ai cédé à l’instabilité mentale comme à une bouée de secours sans égard pour mon propre bien-être.

Et ça a marché. Aujourd'hui, je suis peut-être seul, malade, impulsif, vide, amer… mais je n’ai plus accordé ma confiance absolue à ceux qui ne la méritait pas.

Vivre avec la certitude qu’un jour, chacun de mes proches me laissera tomber ou me blessera autant que tu l’as fait.

Maintenant je ne suis plus faible devant quiconque. Je suis prêt à crever seul et aigri par ma propre haine et mes remords.

[marquis-de-sade-official]

T’as déjà relu un de tes trucs et pensé "ok, là j’ai peut-être un peu trop forcé", ou pas ?

Non.

. . . De peur que, de telle manière dont j'écrive Justine pendant que j'étais emprisonné à la Bastille.

—Bien que j'en doute. C'est d’idiot! Non, c'est de la merde de porc (pas la bonne façon)! Cela ridiculise le libertinage! C'est indigne de moi! Je crache.

[abridurif]

Il y a un mot qui commence sérieusement à me faire rire. C’est le mot solitude. Je ne l’entends plus prononcer qu’avec gaieté. C’est un mot, si vous voulez, dont je me souviens. Parce que voilà. Quand on est jeune, je veux dire jeune par l’âge, on croit à la vie ; que la vie, les hommes, les femmes, les autres, c’est dur. C’est du dur. Et on y va bravement, sans se casser la moindre dent, en général. Mais il est bien vrai qu’on souffre. C’est agréable de souffrir, quand on quelque chose à mordre, à briser, à faire souffrir. Puis peu à peu on s’aperçoit que non, c’est faux. C’est du toc. C’est mou. La vie est molle. Les hommes, les femmes, les autres, sont mous. Dans une certaine mesure ils ont bien raison de se foutre pas mal de vous. Mais dans une autre, on n’a pas tort de s’en rendre compte et d’aller chercher ailleurs le dur, l'indestructible. Le dur, le solide, je crois qu’il ne faut pas le demander aux autres hommes. Parce qu’ils sont aussi faibles que nous. Et que deux hommes face à face, voilà une sacrée faiblesse en pleine mer poétique. La poésie ridiculise la notion de solitude. Elle sauve Beethoven de sa surdité, Van Gogh de son vertige, elle sauverait tout le monde si le beau n’était pas l’apanage dérisoire des gens qui ont besoin de pisser dans de l’or. La poésie est dans la rue, dans le ruisseau, elle est tout à fait dénuée de hiérarchie, elle ne sait pas, elle ne sait rien. Elle est le chant de notre ignorance. Elle ne connaît pas son homme, ni ses amours, ni ses idées politiques, ni ses ambitions sociales. Elle est ce qui est toujours là, dans nos jours et nos nuits difficiles, et pourquoi rêvons-nous la nuit, sinon parce qu’elle ne nous lâche pas. Je ne sais évidemment pas si Dieu est mort. Non, je ne sais pas. Mais je me sens travaillé du matin au soir, et vice versa, par ce que j’ignore et qui m’ignore, que j’essaie de récupérer, pour ne pas mourir à moitié, pour que de l’homme qui est en moi ne subsiste rien. Pour ne pas mourir à côté de moi. Georges Perros, Papiers collés II, Éditions Gallimard, 1973, p. 159-160