#richard oleksiak

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/9/2020: DEADLINE (1980)

This is an extremely weird movie. Actually, it's so eccentric and overstimulating that I have a hard time describing it in terms of quality--terms like "good" and "bad" can become kind of irrelevant when a movie's priorities land so far from anything familiar--so I'll just say what I can. DEADLINE is, in modern parlance, cuckoo bananas.

N.B.: Spoilers abound.

I'm tempted to describe this 1980 genre entry from Maltese director and co-writer Mario Azzopardi as an anthology film, but that isn't completely accurate. Insofar as it is focused on anything, DEADLINE primarily concerns pulp horror writer Stephen Lessey (Stephen Young, late of SOYLENT GREEN) on the downslope of his career. His young children struggle to get his attention, and he and his drug-addled wife fall deeper in loathing, as he wrestles with a stubborn new screenplay. His previous success, a movie about kids who kill called THE EXECUTIONERS, seems to have brought him even more trouble than fame, as we discover when a collegiate speaking engagement is met by a veritable lynch mob. As he becomes increasingly embattled on all sides, Lessey's crumbling mental state is emphasized by a series of vignettes depicting his crazed attempts to imagine "the ultimate terror."

In its attempt to offended on all available levels, DEADLINE includes quite a lot of swearing, making me aware of the fact that I usually don’t hear the word “motherfucker” this much outside of the blaxploitation genre, particularly from little kids.

For about the first hour of DEADLINE, Lessey's story shares roughly equal screen time with the most frantic, uncontrolled version of a horror anthology that I have ever seen. The vignettes intrude on the wraparound story unceremoniously, and some of them are only a few seconds long, appearing and disappearing in brief bursts of blood and gore. (They are also decidedly child-oriented, which makes some amount of sense when you know that DEADLINE was shot by Manfred Guthe of THE PIT fame.) A woman drowns in a shower flooding with blood; a telekinetic goat feeds a mechanic to a thresher; little kids burn their grandmother alive; fetuses "decide to commit suicide" in the womb; and, out of absolutely nowhere, iconoclastic new wave band Rough Trade collaborates with Nazis to weaponize their music using the brown sound. This segment was probably the hardest on my brain, which was torn between the pleasure of watching charismatic singer Carole Pope lead the group in this ROCKY HORROR-esque music video sequence, and the dismay of knowing that at any moment, a bunch of drunk bums were going to shit their pants in front of me. (Actually, it was sort of a relief to see that the bums "only" explode) To further DEADLINE's jarring collage effect, we also weave in and out of the movie-within-a-movie, Lessey's new picture about vampire nuns. I have to admit that this cacophony of tasteless ideas definitely had my full attention, and I was just as engrossed when the movie abruptly abandons its anthological structure for an incredibly grim drama about Lessey and his family.

First, a word about the director: Azzopardi's TV-heavy filmography was not remarkable to me, except for one item that happens to be a personal favorite: the 2002 made-for-tv movie SAVAGE MESSIAH. This gruesome and harrowing drama about the real life crimes of Mansonesque cult leader Roch Thériault is, for better or worse, unforgettable, and while its simmering atmosphere has nothing in common with the utter bonkers-ness of the first leg of DEADLINE, it may somewhat prepare you for the intimate apocalypse that takes up the remainder of this movie. In a twist that would give Tipper Gore an orgasm, Lessey's life explodes completely when his neglected sons murder their little sister (Cindy Hinds of THE BROOD fame) in a specific imitation of his movie THE EXECUTIONERS. In the immediate aftermath of this terrible shock, Lessey's cartoonishly ruthless producer (Marvin Goldhar) tries to keep him on track by shipping him off to a mansion with a gaggle of prostitutes. Once the party starts, a boatload of booze and cocaine catalyze Lessey's inevitable nervous breakdown, sparking an all-out war with the women that would be just as at home in an Abel Ferrara film.

There are things about DEADLINE that I really like. I really like psychic goats, and flesh-eating nuns, and kinky new wave music videos. I also really like despairing psychodramas about the collapse of the family unit. But, what really stands out about this movie is the apparent lack of deliberation with which it was assembled. I really have no idea what DEADLINE wants from me, and I don't think Azzopardi knows, either. I will repeat, under the caveat of hearsay, that the blu-ray appears to contain an interview that reveals the filmmaker to be a purely commercial director who vaguely understood that a) horror sells, and b) horror is bad for your brain. So, it's worth mentioning that this may go some distance toward explaining what you see on the screen. But, that material is not in front of me at present, so the only promise I can make is that my understanding of whatever the hell just happened to me remains a mystery. Watch SAVAGE MESSIAH, though, it will totally ruin your life.

[typical-simplelove]

Happiness Begins: an album series

Trust: Jamie Oleksiak

Rollercoaster: Jay Halstead

Sucker: Tyson Jost

I Believe: Matthew Tkachuk

Used to Be: Will Halstead

Cool: Richard Madden

Every Single Time: Anthony Beauvillier

Comeback: Cale Makar

Strangers: Jacob Markstrom

Only Human: Bucky Barnes

Don't Throw It Away: Andrei Svechnikov

Love Her: Elias Pettersson

Happy When I'm Sad: Peter Parker

Hesitate: Kelly Severide

Everything will be tagged with "happiness begins series" if you don't wish to see anything about this. Join my taglist here if you wish to be tagged!

[beauvibaby]

Purple and Yellow – j.oleksiak

• Jamie Oleksiak goes through heartbreak and challenges along with his daughter but then he meets a woman who seems to catch both their hearts •

a/n: ok this is NOT proof read at all I’m sorry but I knew if I went back and did that I’d end up hating it and not wanting to post it but I know y’all wanted it so here you go!

Word Count: 6.1k

Jamie knew he was going to Seattle, and he’d be lying if he said the proposition didn’t excite him, but once his name was inked on that paper, reality came crashing in. He had to up and move his daughter, she was only three, maybe it wouldn’t be that hard. But who was he kidding, everything is hard with a three year old. And how would he explain that they wouldn’t be able to visit mommy every weekend, just like they did every weekend since. That’s all that plagued his mind as he drove home from the airport, Ivy was waiting for him, but he knew she’d succumb to her sleepiness before he could get there. His parents already texting him with a picture of her half asleep on the couch.

Then, the cars on the other side of the road slammed on their brakes, the sound of tires spinning out made everything come rushing back.

“Is this the father of Ivy Oleksiak?” Jamie didn’t even have a chance to speak before the words came across the phone, “yes, who’s speaking?” Jamie replied, heart rate picking up at the soft sigh the woman let out. “Your daughter and Miss Cora Hadley were brought into Medical City from a car accident scene.” All she said were those words before he was rushing to his feet, “are they ok?” He asked quickly, never getting a pair of shoes on so quickly in his life. “Sir, I’m not–“ “Bullshit! Is my baby and my fiancé ok?” He snapped, based on the way she whimpered, a rather young woman on the other end of the line. “Your daughter will be fine, just some scratches, the car seat did it’s job.” She spoke slowly, her breath hitching. “I think it’s best you get here as quickly as possible.” She spoke carefully, and in that moment Jamie’s heart fell to his feet like an anchor, he could feel his stomach twisting and his eyes burning. He knew what those words meant. Then he thought of Ivy and that snapped him out of his daze, he had to get there, now.

Jamie pulled into his driveway safely this night, parking beside his parents car, a sigh escaping his lips, forcing the terrible memories from two and a half years ago away. He gathered his bags, and lugged them inside, smiling at his family all asleep in the living room. That made him forget that oh so familiar ache in his chest just a little bit more. He put his bags in the corner, those could wait, but right now all he needed was to hold his baby girl. He scooped Ivy up, smiling as she fluttered her eyes open just enough to see him. “Daddy.” She murmured, “hi bug.” He inhaled the scent of her toddler shampoo, his mom always taking care of her hair the best, brushing the detangler through the unruly hair she got from her father. “Sleep with you.” Ivy whined when he started heading for her room, normally he didn’t give in, not wanting her to be dependent on him to sleep, but he needed her tonight too. “Just tonight princess.” He gave in, bringing her to his room with him, where she fell asleep instantly when he placed her on the plush bed.

Jamie laid awake, staring at the ceiling for a little while, thinking of how he would tell Ivy about having to move. “I hope you’re proud of me.” He whispered out, his tears staying pooled in his eyes as he forced himself to calm down. “Sleep daddy.” Ivy complained, nuzzling closer to him. “Hold me.”

“Jamie.” Cora whispered, hoping he was awake despite the late hour, he grunted in response, being a light sleeper ever since he found out Cora was pregnant. “Hold me.” She demanded with a light tone, her back aching and stomach bulging as Ivy kicked around in there. Jamie blindly opened his arms for her, letting her settle into his chest. “Always.” He murmured, already half asleep as she sighed in content.

“Come here baby girl.” Jamie murmured at Ivy, letting her rest her head upon his chest, Ivy was a very cuddly little girl, the second she was comfortable with you, she’d be sitting in your lap and telling you stories and anything to be touching you. It was one of Jamie’s favorite things, especially when he came home from a roadie and all she wanted was to be held by him.

***

“Daddy!” Ivy called, she managed to climb onto the bathroom counter to brush her teeth but now she was too scared to get down, “daddy!” She shrieked again, Jamie’s eyes fluttered open as he quickly took in his surroundings, “daddy, I stuck!” Ivy called, this time sounding annoyed by his lack of response. He threw the blanket off as he knew where she was stuck, this was a common occurrence. He appeared in the bathroom doorway, arms crossed over his chest, “and just what do you think you’re doing?” Jamie asked his daughter as she made grabby hands for him, she grinned brightly at him, “I brushed my teeth!” She answered in a duh tone, she grabbed his face once he scooped her up, kissing the tip of his nose, and he the same to her, “I’m very happy you brushed your teeth, Ivy, but you know you’re not supposed to get on the counter, that’s why we got you a stool, remember?” He explained, for easily the tenth time in the past month. “I know.” She huffed, dramatically pushing her hair back, making Jamie chuckle as he walked down the stairs, hearing his parents talking in the kitchen.

“Well, good morning sleepy heads.” Alison teased as Ivy gasped at the sight of pancakes on the counter, Jamie shook his head with a smile, placing her on the seat beside his dad, “I’ll make you a special plate.” Richard quipped to the little girl, which really just meant drawing a smiley face on it with whip cream. “Thanks mom.” Jamie gave his mom a kiss on the cheek before shuffling around to get his coffee, desperately needing the sleep kicked out of his system. “When are you going to tell her?” Alison asked, taking a small bite of her food, giving her son the side eye when he hesitated. “Today.” He gave in, knowing he absolutely had to start packing now, otherwise it would never be done in time. “So, Ivy, do you have any plans for today?” Alison shifted her attention to her granddaughter, figuring they could take her out to do something so he could get more done. “Gonna go see momma!” She cheered, some syrup smeared around her mouth.

Jamie froze, it was Saturday already, he checked his phone and felt humiliated that he had forgotten his promise to take Ivy to the cemetery. Evidently the panic was written across his face when both his parents stared at him. “Why don’t grandma and I bring you? We haven’t been there in a while.” Richard offered, rubbing Ivy’s back when she looked to Jamie for permission. “I think that would be nice, right baby?” Jamie finally found his voice, and Ivy nodded brightly, anytime she got with her grandparents was cherished. “Daddy coming to?” She asked, tilting her head as he sipped on his coffee, “I’ve got some work to do, alright, I’ll go next time.” He assured her, shooting his dad a thankful look as he quickly changed the subject before she could pester on any further.

“Ivy, I need to talk to you.” Jamie announced, he couldn’t wait any longer, he had to do it and be done. Alison nearly choked on her coffee and Richard looked at his empty plate like it was suddenly the most interesting thing. Ivy nodded, munching away on her pancakes, not understanding the severity of what was about to be said.

Jamie cleared his throat and pulled out the chair beside her, “you know how I had to go away to this new place for work, yeah?” He reminded her, “Seattle.” He said, and she nodded, “Seattle.” She repeated, not entirely perfect but good enough. “I got a job over there.” He spoke, waiting to see what she thought. “Hockey?” She asked, confusion lacing her tone. “Yes, still hockey.” Jamie chuckled softly, “it’s with a new team.” He paused, glancing away for a second, “we have to move there.” He concluded. Ivy nodded slowly, “new house?” She asked, she might be young, but she knew that moving meant not in this house. “Yeah, new house, new city, new people.” Jamie explained, panicking when she went wide eyed, “what about uncle Ro-Ro?” Ivy asked, referring to Miro, she was closest to the young defenseman as she always saw him beside her dad on the ice. The nickname had been dubbed upon him when she was learning to speak and liked to repeat things. “We can visit, baby.” Jamie spoke softly, heart breaking as she began to sniffle. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head, he knew the realization was coming. “But Momma!” She sobbed.

And that completely shattered his heart.

“I know.” He picked her up, feeling her sob into his neck, “momma.” She whimpered, though she didn’t remember her, Jamie made sure to keep her an important part of her life. Ivy didn’t know that she loved going to a gravestone that much until this moment. “Hey, look at me, bug.” Jamie demanded gently, situating her to be in front of him. He sat her on the countertop and stood in front of her, “momma will always be with us, right? Isn’t that what I always say?” He explained to her. Ivy nodded slowly, she was so young but always acting older, trying to wrap her head around this. “Yeah.” She mumbled sheepishly, cheeks red and eyes puffy, she felt shy under the gaze of her grandparents. “It’s alright, daddy’s sad too.” He assured her, lowering his head to be eye level with her. She stared into his eyes, reminding him so much of Cora in that moment, and once again she kissed the tip of his nose. “No sad daddy.” She demanded, drumming her fingers on his cheek. He pecked her forehead, “alright baby.” He agreed, if she could do it, so could he, right?

***

Ivy slept the whole plane ride, which is what Jamie was hoping for as they would be meeting the moving truck at the new house, plenty of things to be done asap.

“Come on Ivy.” Jamie mumbled, carrying her off the plane as she groggily woke up, looking around slightly confused until she remembered what was going on today. “Daddy, Seattle?” She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder, he chuckled, lowering her so she wasn’t so high up on his chest. “Yeah, Seattle baby.” He assured her, her pigtails bouncing as she looked around rapidly. He smiled at her reaction to the airport alone.

“What do you think, Ivy?” Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows as the three year old spun to face him. “Love it!” She squealed, her room was twice as big in this place than her bedroom in Dallas, and Jamie told her she could pick whatever color (within reason) to have her walls painted. Of course she would love it here. Jamie looked around their new-but-empty-house one more time, sighing as he could picture Ivy growing older in this house.

Time to make it a home.

“Hi.” Ivy grinned up at one of the movers as he placed a stack of boxes in her room, Jamie just being outside the door heard her speaking, he raised an eyebrow waiting to hear the guy speak. “Hello.” The young guy spoke sweetly, chuckling at the little girl. “I’m three.” She spoke, “how old are you?” She asked, Jamie held in a snicker as he walked in. “Ivy, leave him alone, bug.” He laughed softly, the guy taking it as his excuse to go get more boxes. “Ugh.” She huffed, flopping down on her bed dramatically, Jamie rolled his eyes, looking around. “What color do you want?” He asked the opinionated little girl, he sat beside her, smiling as she stood next to him, being eye level with him. “Hmm, purple!” She gasped, looking around the currently beige room, Jamie nodded slowly, “light purple.” He countered, knowing she would want to choose the darkest shade. “Fine.” She giggled, “we can go tomorrow, alright? Today we need to focus on finding all your stuff.” He tickled her sides.

***

Ivy was tugging on Jamie’s hand, somehow spotting the paint section quicker than he could. “Slow down!” He laughed heartily, his daughter shooting him a glare as he purposely slowed his feet down. He hoisted Ivy up to see the purple swatches along the top row, she reached for a dark one, just like Jamie knew she would. He sighed, “Ivy, we agreed on light purple, what about this one?” He offered, grabbing a lavender type color, she grunted in disgust, shaking her head dramatically, her blonde curls hitting his face. “Love this one.” She pouted, holding it in front of his face.

Jamie held in a sigh as you walked past him, stopping to look at paint swatches as well. “What about this one?” Jamie compromised, it was darker than he wanted to go, but still light enough to not feel like a dungeon. Ivy’s lip began to quiver, quickly catching both Jamie and the woman’s attention. “Ivy.” Jamie sighed softly, you intervened, “you know, I wanted a dark purple room when I was your age too.” You spoke to Ivy, catching her attention as she lifted her head, Jamie shifting slightly, giving you a smile. “My dad wouldn’t let me do it.” You made a face, getting a giggle out of Ivy, “he was right though, but guess what we compromised?” You mused, holding your hand out for the paint swatches that Jamie had. He handed them over with ease, “we painted one wall, dark, the wall I had my bed on, and the rest we did light.” You explained, Jamie giving Ivy a bright smile when she looked at him like it was the greatest idea ever. “We can do that, Ivy.” He agreed, and you giggled, “glad I could be of help.” You added.

“Thank you,” Jamie paused, waiting for a name. “Y/N.” You told him, smiling at the pair, “and your name is?” You asked, already figuring the little girl's name was Ivy. “Jamie.” He introduced himself. “What are you painting?” Ivy asked boldly, not one to talk much around new people, Jamie set her down so she could look at other colors, amused by her sudden interest. “I’m painting my dining room.” You answered, squatting down to her level, “do you have any color suggestions?” You asked Ivy. Jamie gave you a look that said you really don’t have to entertain her but you just gave him a smile. “Yellow.” Ivy announced, looking at the wall and grabbing actually, a very nice swatch, it was just yellow enough. You tilted your head as you looked at it, imagining it in your space. “That’s a very pretty color, Ivy.” You told her, smiling brightly as she blushed, handing you the color sample. “Thank you, Y/N.” She spoke politely, even though the words didn’t come out perfectly, it was a great attempt. “You’re welcome.” You stood to your full height, shocking Jamie by walking over to the counter to order the paint, no hesitation that a random little girl picked it out.

“You don’t have to-“ Jamie started to say, but you shrugged, giving him a happy smile, “I just got a new place, a fresh start, yellow seems fitting.” You told him. Jamie gave you a lopsided smile, if only you knew he was doing the same. “Daddy, this ones.” Ivy gasped, giving him two swatches, he chuckled at her grammar, squatting down to her level, “you’re sure?” He asked, he knew after all it was just paint, and if it turned out so terrible, they could paint over it but he didn’t want to have to do this twice. “This one looks like momma's dress!” Ivy explained, Jamie looked at the dark purple in his hand, instantly remembering Cora in that dress, Ivy’s favorite picture of her that she kept in her room. Suddenly her color choice made sense, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop, your heart stopping at Jamie’s next words. “Yeah, I think momma would have loved this.”

Was she… dead? You tried to knock the thought from your head, they were so young, but you knew accidents happened. You quickly looked away as Jamie stood back up, “here you go ma’am.” The teenager behind the counter spoke, you took the gallon from him, shooting him a smile. “Have a good day.” You told him, offering Jamie and Ivy a wave. “Will I see you again?” Ivy asked, Jamie nearly had heart failure right there as you stopped and giggled. “Oh I don’t know sweetheart, Seattle is a really big city. But don’t you worry, if I ever see you out and about I’ll be sure to say hello.” You assured her, watching as she got all giddy and slightly hid behind her father again. “Bye.” You told him, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling any wider. “Bye, Y/N.” He mumbled, seeming a little dazed as he made his way up to the counter.

***

It had been nearly a week in the new house, the walls were done, almost everything was unpacked and they were starting to feel a sense of normalcy. Jamie loved the neighborhood they ended up in, a true mix of all different people, yes their house was rather large, but it was still homey. The community was sprawling, having a little bit of everything, stand alone homes, townhomes, even some condos, there were plenty of kids around which made him feel good about his choice as he followed Ivy down the road as she rode her bike. “Slow down, Ivy.” Jamie cautioned as she was getting a good bit ahead of him, she huffed dramatically and slowed down, waiting for him to catch up. She was looking around at the houses, confused as to why they were attached, even though Jamie had explained it to her plenty of times. Ivy gasped so loudly, that you could hear it from your front lawn where you were spray painting a piece of furniture. You glanced over and did a double take.

There was absolutely no way, you refused to believe you were actually seeing this, then you saw Jamie and you were convinced the universe either loved you for letting you see him again, or hated you, as you were in ratty old painting clothes.

“Ivy!” You grinned, laughing when the little girl flew off her bike, letting it fall sideways, making Jamie groan, “hi Y/N!” She squealed running up your lawn. You smiled brightly as she hugged your leg, “Ivy.” Jamie called, giving you an apologetic smile but you shrugged it off. “Did you paint your room?” You asked the little girl as she pulled away, a pink tint to her cheeks, she nodded, her blonde curls bouncing in her ponytail. “Yay, that’s great!” You cheered, Jamie walked up behind her, “hi, Y/N. How are you?” He asked, his daughter leaning back against his legs as you two spoke. “Good, been busy making this place my own.” You laughed, motioning to the small townhome behind you. It was your first solo place, and you absolutely adored it, even if it needed some work. “Yeah, you always forget how much work it is moving into a new place.” He agreed, chuckling softly. “Did you do yellow?” Ivy asked, rocking on her feet. “I did.” You assured her, “would you two like to go in and see it?” You asked, cringing internally as you waited to look up at Jamie. “Sure.” He answered, grabbing his daughter's hand, following you inside.

You led them to the dining room, giggling as Ivy gasped, “so pretty!” She cheered, the yellow paid off, it made the space feel much more happy. “All because of you.” You told her, she asked if she could look at the pictures you had sitting on the entry table and you gave her a quick nod, giving you and Jamie a chance to talk. “Same neighborhood? If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were stalking me.” You teased him lightly, getting a hearty chuckle out of him. “It is quite the coincidence.” He agreed, he felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time since he had met Cora.

It absolutely terrified him.

***

It had been a few weeks since that day, and you’d seen Ivy outside playing with another woman, Jamie not to be seen. You came out to grab your mail as she went riding by, “hi, Y/N!” She called, continuing to pedal away. “Hi, Ivy.” You spoke, you went over and introduced yourself to the girl, Taylor, finding out she was her babysitter. “Jamie must go out pretty often.” You commented to her, she shook her head, “oh no, he never goes anywhere without Ivy aside from work.” Taylor told you, “he plays hockey, I'm surprised you didn’t know that.” Taylor added, smiling as Ivy came up to the two of you. “We should be going, it’s almost dinner time.” Taylor spoke, she couldn’t be older than 20. You gave them both a smile, “yes! You don’t want to miss that.” You chuckled, bidding them a goodbye before going inside and googling Jamie.

What you found shocked you.

Jamie Oleksiak taking personal time to mourn loss of fiancé.

Jamie Oleksiak, will he be able to balance a professional career and a baby?

Will he bounce back from this?

You clicked the first article, bracing yourself as it loaded.

The date was from almost three years ago, you scrolled down and began to read…

Jamie Oleksiak has announced the sudden passing of his fiancé, Cora Hadley. Together they shared a daughter Ivy, who was also involved in the incident, she is expected to make a complete recovery.

A close friend tells us it was a severe car accident.

Our condolences to the family.

You clicked away from the article as tears burned your eyes. That was terrible. You read some of the other articles and only grew mad at how the reporters belittled his pain, only talking of how poorly his game play had been since then. And though you’d never wish that kind of loss on anyone, you know they wouldn’t be writing like that if they had felt it.

***

You and Jamie exchanged numbers, citing that it was for “neighborhood emergencies” you giggled at the thought as he was currently asking you what he should get Cora for the upcoming Christmas.

She’s the pickiest three year old ever, everyone always tells me that.

Well, what does the pickiest three year old ever like to do?

She’s either riding her bike and getting absolutely filthy or she’s inside playing dress up and being a little princess

Princess car?

They make those?!?

Oh, Jamie, I really need to take you shopping 🤦‍♀️

Tell me when and I’ll be there…

You tell me hot shot, you’re the one that plays hockey for a living.

How did you find out?

Google is a powerful thing… just kidding, Taylor told me.

Of course she did

Saturday afternoon? My parents will be in town and they want to take Ivy out for the day, so it’s a perfect excuse.

You know where I live, see you then!

He started typing, but then the dots went away and you never received another message.

You brushed it off, feeling butterflies in your stomach for the first time in years as you thought of merely shopping with Jamie for Christmas.

****

“You like him!” Your friend gushed to you as you spoke on the phone while getting ready, “no!” You rushed, only proving her point more. “Y/N, really.” Your friend, Amanda, spoke. “There’s nothing wrong with that, he’s clearly attractive and he’s a dad! He’s not going to be a jerk that just messed around with girls! It’s great.” She rambled, you sighed, pulling your jeans on with a little jump, “his fiancé died, Amanda. He could very well not be over that yet, and I wouldn’t blame him.” You explained, she went silent, “well you left that part out, how was I supposed to know.” She mumbled sheepishly. “It was almost three years ago, their baby was only six months old.” You whispered, cursing when your doorbell rang down the stairs. “Shit, shit, I have to go Amanda!” You rushed, hanging up as soon as she said bye. You adjusted the sweater you had on as you rushed down the stairs, careful not to fall flat on your face. You grabbed your purse as you walked past the counter, yelping as you stumbled and landed on your butt. So close.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Jamie called, hearing the thud, “yes, yeah, just a second.” You called out, wincing as you stood up, that was definitely going to hurt later. You finally, finally reached the door and unlocked it, pulling it open and giving him a bright smile. “Did you fall?” He asked instantly, bursting into laughter when your face went blank. “We’re not going to talk about that Jamie.” You chastised, stepping onto your little porch to leave with him. “Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled, giving you a once over as you locked the door. “Is Ivy excited to be with your parents today?” You asked him, Jamie laughed under his breath, “so excited, she didn’t even care that I was going out.” He told you as he opened the passenger side door of his truck for you. “Thanks.” You mumbled as you slid in, your heart pounding in your chest. He shut the door and made his way around the truck as you adjusted in the seat.

“So, where to?”

****

Jamie was shocked and grimacing at the price of the princess car that he and you both knew Ivy would love. “Is she the type to give up on new toys quickly?” You asked, tilting your head as you both stared at the display, he shook his head as gave in. He had been leaning against the shelves and as he walked away you noticed his phone had fallen out of his pocket, you picked it up so no one would steal it as you waited for him to come back with a cart, and hopefully someone to help him with the box because it was not something you’d be much help with. His phone began to ring in your hand, the contact flashing across the top said mom, you let it ring, you’d tell him as soon as he came back. As soon as it stopped it was ringing again, you panicked and swiped to answer it, worried that something had happened to Ivy. “Hello?” You spoke into the phone, hearing Ivy wailing in the background. Fuck.

“Who is this?” His mother rushed, “I’m Y/N, Jamie forgot his phone he’s walking around the store– is everything alright?” You asked, cutting straight to the point, “no, we’re going to the emergency room, Ivy fell at the park and I think she broke her arm.” His mother rushed, and thankfully you saw Jamie approaching, “Jamie!” You shouted, rushing over, he furrowed his eyebrows seeing you on his phone.

“It’s your mom.” You rushed, giving it to him and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he listened to her speak over Ivy crying. “Shit, alright I’ll meet you there.” He told her, shooting you an apologetic look. “Go.” You assured him, he shook his head grabbing your hand and pulling you along, he wasn’t going to leave you stranded in a department store. “Sorry, he’ll purchase it another day!” You called to the employee who had a blank look on his face. “Let me talk to Ivy.” Jamie demanded after his mom had said something else, “daddy, it hurts!” Ivy got out between cries as his mother held the phone to her ear. “I know, princess. I’ll be there soon alright? I promise.” He assured her, finally releasing your hand as he realized he’d been holding it this whole time.

He managed to get off the phone so he could drive to the hospital, repeatedly apologizing for you being stuck with him and that this happened. “I was going to take you to lunch and ugh I’m just sorry.” You raised an eyebrow at his ramblings as you guys got stuck at a red light less than a mile from the hospital. “Jamie, stop apologizing. She’s your daughter, she always comes first, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” You soothed him, he glanced over at you, nodding softly, “reschedule the lunch?” He asked, despite the panic in his head, he still wanted to make sure you saw that he was interested in you.

“Yeah, we can reschedule, let’s just go see your baby.” You leaned over the center console, kissing his cheek as the light changed, doing a little happy dance in your head at how he blushed deeply at your actions.

“Family only.” The nurse remarked as you were about to follow Jamie to the room Ivy was in. He gave her an incredulous look, “it’s fine, go.” You assured him, pulling away from him to stay in the waiting room. He hesitated but went along, disappearing behind the doors as you picked a seat in the corner, making sure you had a sight line to the doors he went through. Over an hour went by as you sat there, scrolling through your phone, not hearing from Jamie, which you assumed was because he was being bombarded with questions of the girl who answered his phone, while also dealing with Ivy who was not going to enjoy the process of getting a cast.

Your phone chimed with a text just as you had finally decided to get off of it,

Finishing up now, sorry if my parents are a lot

You chuckled at the message, making sure you had all your items, including the little stuffy you’d bought at the hospital gift shop during your time sitting here. You stood up as you saw them walking out, Ivy draped over Jamie’s chest, half asleep with her head on his shoulder. “Y/N, it’s so nice to meet you.” His mom spoke, offering her hand, you repeated the sentiment, as well as with his dad. “Ivy.” You whispered, placing a hand on her back, holding the small stuffed animal in your hand, “I got you a little gift for being such a big brave girl.” You mumbled, she shifted to look at you with her puffy eyes, and pout settled deep on her lips, “thanks.” She whispered, taking it and holding it close to her chest, she kept her eyes on you as you walked behind Jamie, keeping up a conversation with his parents. And he was right, they were kind of a lot, but you pushed through, smiling when Ivy finally fell asleep in the car.

You sat in the back with Ivy, Jamie insisting you didn’t have to but you wanted to. “She handled it pretty well.” Jamie commented as he glanced back to see her asleep with her hand in yours. “She’s a tough little thing.” You agreed, glancing over at him, he gave you a heartwarming smile. “Thanks for coming with me today, I know it didn’t go to plan, but it was nice, you know… before she broke her arm.” He trailed off, pulling into your driveway to drop you off. You carefully pulled your hand from Ivy’s, she didn’t budge as she was exhausted from today.

Jamie got out to say goodbye, surprising you with a quick kiss to the cheek and a promise of that lunch date.

***

“Did some research?” You asked teasingly as Jamie took you to your favorite restaurant, you gave him a sideways glance as he parked the truck, “I may have had some assistance.” He shrugged, making you realize that’s why Ivy was grilling you the other day, when you had offered to watch her since Taylor was unavailable. “You two are trouble.” You quipped, watching him slip out wordlessly before opening your door for you. “But I’m a gentleman.” He reminded you, “a very good one at that.” You agreed, steadying yourself with his shoulders when you hoped down. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He declared, had you not wanted to kiss him so badly you would have teased him for the nervousness in his voice, but you simply looped your arms around his neck and let him sweep you off your feet with a wonderful first kiss.

The first of many.

***

Two months, and many, many, sneaky dates and stolen kisses later…

You were over at Jamie’s house, having dinner with him and Ivy, you and Jamie had gone out here and there, but most of your time was spent together with Ivy, and that’s what told him that you were the girl he needed to hang on to. Jamie wanted to take tonight to explain to Ivy that you two were dating, but he was scared, petrified even, that she would become upset and confused. You kept telling him nothing had to be done yet if he wasn’t ready, but he was, he swore he was.

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked Ivy, dinner was long gone and you were playing a game of twenty questions, she wasn’t entirely aware of that but she was having fun nonetheless. “Purple! Like my mommas.” She declared, you gave her a smile, glancing over at Jamie to see how he handled it. Many conversations had happened between you two about the loss of Cora, you never wanted to rush him, and as he only gave Ivy a proud smile, you could tell he was truly ready to start the next chapter of his life again. You liked to think Cora was proud of him, for choosing you to be in their life.

“What’s yours?” Ivy countered back, giving you an inquisitive look, the closer she got to age four, the more like Jamie she seemed, and it always made you chuckle. “Yellow.” You told her, watching as she grinned, Jamie winked at you as you turned sheepish under their gaze. “Because of me?” Ivy gasped. “Yes, because of you.” You giggled, welcoming her hug when she bounced over to you. “Ivy, do you know what it means when people are dating?” Jamie asked his daughter as she stayed seated on your lap, she rested her elbows on the table, holding her head in her hands. “No but you said I’m not allowed to do that.” She spoke in a serious tone, sending you into a hysterical fit of laughter, not expecting her to be so blunt. Jamie tried not to but he joined you with a deep laugh, tipping his head back as Ivy grew impatient. “Ok, besides that.” Jamie cleared his throat, “when I say I’m dating someone that means that I really really like them and I want them to be part of our life.” He explained as best he could, you smiled from behind her at his words. Encouraging him to go on.

“Y/N and I are dating.” He spoke officially, you both held your breath as you waited for her reaction, she turned and looked at you, and then back to her dad. “You love her!” Ivy grinned, sending Jamie wide eyed and you into a wide smile as he blushed, “you love my daddy!” Ivy gasped turning to you, now he was the one grinning as you opened and closed your mouth trying to find the words to say. You gave her a nod, “well, it’s a bit more complicated than that when you’re our age, but yes.” You agreed with her, Jamie grabbed your hand from across the table, giving it a squeeze as Ivy climbed off your lap and started dancing around.

This had gone so much better than he had hoped.

When he was tucking her in that night while you were waiting for him on the couch, she said a few words that made him one hundred percent sure that everything was going the way it should, and that Cora even played a hand in this. “Can I have two favorite colors daddy?” Ivy asked, looking up at him sleepily as he pulled the blanket up her body, she was clinging to the stuffy you’d bought her. “Of course, bug.” He assured her, thinking that was that, but as he kissed her forehead she said, “purple and yellow are my favorites.” By the time he pulled his head back, her eyes were shut and her breathing was evening out. “Yeah, I think those are my favorites too.” He whispered.

Taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo @hockeyunits

[tippedbykreider]

talk some sense to me | j. oleksiak

Word count: 26.2k Warnings: mutual pining, arguing, sex Author’s note: Childhood best friends to lovers so frustrating you’ll want to slap them both. This fic is mostly unchanged apart from a few additional bits here and there (maybe added another 1k total). Fic title is from ‘I Found’ by Amber Run Summary: True friends are hard to find and harder to keep but when a friendship like the one Jamie and Leo share withstands the test of time, it’s clear that there’s something else there. Can two people who know each other better than anyone else be honest with themselves and face down what has always been there between them?

A moment.

That’s all it takes.

One moment that sits like a void and one moment that can change everything, whichever way it goes. This was such a moment, so big that it felt like entire galaxies could fit inside of it and still leave room for more. He waits for her to speak for what feels like forever while she stands on a knife edge, knowing that whatever words come out of her mouth will rearrange both of their lives in ways that they understood would make it impossible to return to how things were not even ten minutes ago.

Yes, it’s a moment that’s terrifying in every conceivable way.

But it’s theirs.

*

Leonora Harris had lived in Toronto, Ontario for her entire life and couldn’t ever imagine herself being anywhere else. This was something that had her parents scratching their heads on more than one occasion. You see, Bill and Diana had always believed that their daughter would spread her wings and blaze her own path in the world and while they were correct in that assumption, they’d assumed that she’d be doing it somewhere a bit more exotic. There were a lot of things that kept Leonora in the city, one of those things was a huge sense of belonging and a feeling of home that she wasn’t sure she would find anywhere else, another was landing the job of her dreams at the Royal Ontario Museum after finishing university. But perhaps the biggest reason and the reason that she would never allow herself to admit, was because Toronto was the place her best friend also called home, even if it was only for three months out of the year.

True friends are hard to come by and even harder to keep, that’s why people never had an abundance of ‘old friends’, so when a friendship like the one Leonora shared with Jamie Oleksiak comes along, it’s worth sticking around for. Jamie had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. The memory of their first interaction was now so old that the minor details had started to get a little fuzzy around the edges, but one thing that had remained the same and would always remain the same was the indescribable warmth that memory brought that would flicker in her stomach like the first sparks of a bonfire, before it crawled through her skin until it felt like she was glowing all over.

They’d been four years old, she’d remembered, and embarking on their first day of kindergarten. Jamie had been wearing dungarees that much she was sure of and his hair was a chaotically endearing mop of blonde curls but she couldn’t quite remember if the sweatshirt he’d been wearing was red or blue, not that it mattered, of course. She remembered seeing a quiet flicker in his eyes that she later understood to have been fear and had offered him the biggest smile she could muster.

That simple gesture, that smile, is what had made Jamie find his courage and give her a toothy grin back after he’d placed his raincoat on the peg. It was also what had him waiting for her to do the same instead of running along into the playroom to find a quiet corner for himself. If anyone asked Jamie what he remembered the most vividly from that day he would always tell them the same thing:

‘Her eyes. Her eyes and that smile.’

He also remembered how the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as Leonora approached him, all bright green eyes and thick wavy brown hair that had been put into bunches, presumably by her mother. Even years later, Jamie still wasn’t quite sure how he even found his voice but he was sure, even at the tender age of four years old, that the girl in front of him was going to be his friend. No, his best friend and so with a shy smile and a quiet voice he said, “My name’s Jamieson but you can call me Jamie.”

“I’m Leonora,” she replied with a confidence that far exceeded her age.

Jamie’s brow had furrowed at that and he’d taken to chewing on his bottom lip.

“Leo- Leono-,” he gave a frustrated little sigh as he tried to roll his tongue around her name and failed. “Can I call you Leo?”

“Yeah,” she grinned. “You can call me Leo.”

They’d spent the rest of that morning at the drawing table and neither Leo nor Jamie would be able to tell you exactly what they’d talked about all those years ago, but Leo distinctly remembers sitting next to Jamie while they ate lunch and after he’d learned that strawberries were Leo’s favourite fruit, Jamie had proceeded to give her exactly half of his, counting them out one by one until they both had an equal pile in front of them. He would do that every single time he had strawberries and Leo would do the same for him. They would even do this on the days where they both had strawberries, so their piles would consist of half of Jamie’s and half of Leo’s because ‘friends should always share’.

 That mantra was one that they would carry all through their childhood, from elementary school right until the end of high school and even beyond that. It wasn’t just strawberries that he shared with her either, it was near enough everything. What was Jamie’s was Leo’s and what was Leo’s was Jamie’s, that’s just how things were and it extended beyond the material. They shared happiness and disappointments, highs and lows but perhaps the most special thing that they shared was the joy of being able to watch each other find their identities. Jamie had known about Leo’s confidence from the day he met her and it was something that had only grown and blossomed as time went on. He had always admired how sure of herself she was, even as a small child and as she entered her teenage years, Jamie began to understand just how unapologetically authentic she was. It always knocked him back a bit, how outspoken she could be and how she was never afraid to say what she really meant. Even now, more than two decades later, it still had the ability to knock the air out of his lungs.

Jamie had always been laid back and a little bit shy, awkward even. It was something that he’d carried around with him throughout his life, particularly growing up. He sometimes found it hard to open up around people he didn’t know (although anyone would tell you that once he felt truly comfortable it could be difficult to shut him up) and he was often content to go with the flow. On paper, it could have seemed like Leo and Jamie would drive each other up the wall, with Leo’s feistiness contradicting Jamie’s relaxed nature. Yes, they were opposites in every way, but much like fire and water the two of them found ways to create balance and harmony.

Jamie had always felt like he could truly be himself around Leo and that came from not just a place of familiarity, but also of acceptance. She accepted him as he was despite his shyness and despite the fact that he wasn’t as good with words as she was, but more than that, she built him up and encouraged him in everything he did and that is what made it so easy for Jamie to be open with her, not just about his anxieties and the general worries that your formative years bring, but about everything else too. This was something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Richard and Alison, Jamie’s parents, who couldn’t help but be overjoyed by the spark of confidence their son had whenever he was around the girl with the free and easy laugh and the keen eyes. They welcomed her into their family much in the same way Bill and Diana had welcomed Jamie into theirs and the gruesome twosome (as their families would affectionately call them) were together more often than they were not. It didn’t matter whether they were sitting quietly studying or yelling as they engaged in an overly-competitive game of Crash Team Racing in which Leo would seize and relish the opportunity to gang up on Jamie with his sisters, the bond between them both was clear as day to anyone who knew them and only seemed to strengthen as the years rolled by.

 Their after school routine had remained the same throughout the years and usually consisted of going to one of their houses and sitting in relative silence while they completed their homework, helping each other whenever the need arose. As they got older they would retreat upstairs and spend the time before the other would leave to go home for dinner listening to music and swapping mixtape CDs they’d burned for each other. It was one of those CDs from Jamie that had introduced her to TOOL at the age of sixteen and they had quickly become one of her favourite bands, even still to this day and she always felt a warm kind of fondness spread through her body and resonate in her chest whenever she listened to them, the memory of her first exposure to them still clear in her mind as if it had only been yesterday. She had been laid on her bedroom floor with her legs resting up on the bed and Jamie’s rolled up hoodie under her head as a makeshift pillow, a conscious decision on her part despite being offered one of the pillows off her bed. Truthfully, the fluffy down pillow Jamie had suggested would have been a far comfier option but his hoodie was still warm from where it had been on his body not a half-hour earlier and smelled just like his deodorant and shower-gel and, well, like Jamie and that in itself evoked a kind of softness and comfort within Leo that the pillows on her bed couldn’t begin to replicate, although she’d never admit that out loud to him, of course.

“Okay, so I don’t know if you’ve heard of these before but seriously Leo, they’re fire.”

Jamie was leaning halfway over her from his position on the bed as he placed the cd into her stereo. She squinted at him slightly, unsure of exactly when he’d had this particular growth spurt that made him suddenly look comically large on her double bed.

“What genre?” Leo asked as she watched him settle back against her pillows, his feet hanging off the end of her bed by a hair.

“Prog rock,” he replied, giving Leo a questioning look and a laugh as she audibly groaned. “What?”

“Duh? Remember when your dad made us listen to Rush?”

“This is better, I promise,” Jamie grinned as he pressed play on the small remote in his hand.

“Better be.”

Leo closed her eyes and listened as the first muted notes filtered through the speakers of her stereo followed by a beautifully haunting male voice.

‘So familiar and overwhelmingly warm This one, this form I hold now

Embracing you, this reality here This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and hopeful

Wide eyed and hopefully wild’

To this day Leo can still remember the feeling of something stirring within her chest, an awakening almost, as she connected with the lyrics and the intricate melodies and changing time signatures, somehow made stronger by the fact that Jamie was sharing this with her, which meant that whatever the music was making her feel, Jamie must have felt it too. She let herself get completely lost in the melodies and found herself contemplating the meanings behind the words and allowed them to settle in her bones. She opened her eyes as the track finished to find Jamie watching her with an expectant smile on his face, blue eyes shining with something unspoken that she couldn’t quite place.

“It’s good, right?”

“Yeah,” Leo said softly. “Yeah, really good, actually. What did you say this band was called?”

“Tool and when I was reading up on them I found out they’ve been around for years, like since we were born. I found a few of their albums at the second-hand store, you can borrow them if you want.”

Leo looked at Jamie for a breath, a gentle smile playing on her lips and a thoughtful gleam in her eye, before deciding to move from her position on the floor to squeeze onto her bed with him as the next song on the cd began to play. Jamie shifted slightly to accommodate her and wrapped his arms tightly around her back to pull her into him. It wasn’t the first time that they’d laid like that together, nor would it be the last, but there was a flicker of a feeling in Jamie’s chest as he allowed his senses to really come into focus. It was the soft, almost hypnotic beat of the music in the room, it was the smell of pineapple and coconut from Leo’s shampoo that had become her signature scent but above that it was the way in which his breathing followed the same ebb and flow of hers without him even being conscious of it. It was a sense of unity that he wouldn’t truly understand until he was much older but more than all of that it was being lost in this moment with her.

 Life continued much as it had before but the start of their final year in high school brought about a series of changes for the duo. Jamie was excelling at hockey and there was a real sense of well-placed optimism that his abilities on the ice would take him far. While he didn’t have a definitive plan (keen to keep the majority of his focus on his studies) he knew that there were going to be some tough decisions ahead. Leo was all too aware of the very real possibility that her best friend could be moving away but she tried not to dwell on it too much to keep the tightness in her chest at bay, focusing instead on attaining the grades she needed to attend the University of Toronto to study History. Their final school year also brought a change in the form of a girlfriend for Jamie and while Leo made every effort to befriend Sarah and give her the benefit of the doubt, she knew that Sarah had a real problem with her and her friendship with Jamie. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the girl- oh who was she kidding? Of course she didn’t trust her and while Leo tried not to get into the dangerous habit of comparing herself to Sarah and despite her best efforts and intentions, she couldn’t understand just exactly what Jamie saw in the girl.

She’d spoken to her mother at length about it, not least because she couldn’t help but feel a little pushed out and bent out of shape at her sudden demotion to ‘favourite girl number four’ (she would never dream of putting herself ahead of Penny and Hayley in those rankings), but was only met with her mother’s keen eyes that were far too similar to her own for her liking and an annoying sing-song sentiment of ‘sounds to me like someone is a little jealous’, She wasn’t jealous. She wasn’t. She just thought that Sarah was bad news and that was all there was to it but, ever the faithful and supportive friend, Leo would put on a smile and be on her best behaviour whenever Sarah was around and she would never say anything derogatory to Jamie about her whenever she wasn’t. She would pretend like it didn’t hurt like a kick to the stomach when Jamie would change his plans with her plans to go hang out with his girlfriend and worked hard to keep the look of pained disappointment on her face at bay when he would unexpectedly bring Sarah along to the plans with Leo that he did keep.

Despite her feelings of definitely-not-jealousy, and much to her dismay, Leo’s gut feelings of mistrust turned out to be well placed when a sullen looking Jamie had turned up at her house a few days before their leaver’s prom. Leo hadn’t planned to go, of course, given that her first choice school dance buddy would be attending with his girlfriend. That all changed though with Jamie’s revelation that he wouldn’t be going with Sarah.

“I don’t follow,” Leo said from behind her glass of water.

“She um…” Jamie rubbed the back of his neck with his large palm, face flushed slightly in embarrassment. “She dumped me, actually.”

Was spitting out her water everywhere the most appropriate response Leo could’ve had? No and it was something that Jamie would mercilessly tease her about in the future at any given opportunity, but it was all she had in a moment where she was filled with genuine shock and disbelief.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m serious,” Jamie mumbled, his eyes cast downwards to his hands that were in his lap and playing with the hem of his overshirt. “She told me we were done. I found out from Dougie that she was going with Finn Tremblay instead.”

“That jock quarterback? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Leo’s initial shock had quickly dissipated into anger, something that Jamie had gathered from the way her voice had gone up a few octaves and she’d taken to gripping her glass of water so tightly that her knuckles had begun to pale.

“Your glass, Leo.”

She set it down on her nightstand with more force than was necessary and muttered something to herself that Jamie couldn’t quite make out except for a few choice words that included ‘that fucking asshole’ and ‘I knew it’. Her tornadic rage soon quietened to a gentle breeze though as she attuned herself to the sadness radiating from Jamie and she brought herself to look at him with sympathetic eyes.

“God, I’m so sorry, Jame. Really.”

Jamie responded with a small shrug, a desperate attempt at nonchalance albeit feigned that he knew that Leo wouldn’t buy; she knew him far too well for that but it was all he could muster in the moment.

“She didn’t deserve you.”

There was a weight behind those words that surprised both of them and there was a lot more meaning to them too but Jamie didn’t have it in him to push right now and Leo wasn’t about to explore that meaning herself either because truth be told, she’d startled herself with both her choice of words and her delivery. Instead she reached across the space between them where they sat cross-legged opposite each other on her bed and took one of Jamie’s big hands to rub gentle circles across the back of it.

“It’ll be okay,” she spoke gently, her voice a shade above a whisper.

“I know,” Jamie murmured and he meant it too because he knew that Leo was right. It would be okay. It would always be okay as long as he had her in his life.

The pair resolved to make the most of a shitty situation (although Leo was sure to let Sarah know exactly what she thought of her) and, after some last minute dress shopping, Leo had found herself looking uncharacteristically glam to attend prom with Jamie. They’d insisted that it was no big deal but you’d never guess it from the way both parents couldn’t contain their excitement as they took pictures of the duo in front of Bill and Diana’s fireplace. Diana and Alison shared a knowing glance on more than one occasion and were practically bursting with glee as Jamie slipped the corsage he’d bought for Leo onto her wrist. One of the things that struck Jamie the most about that night was the ease in which it was to slow-dance with Leo. He’d anticipated it to be awkward and a little bit uncomfortable, y’know, given that Leo was just a friend and while he couldn’t deny the fact that his heart was hammering in his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest, he also couldn’t stop himself from dropping his head lower to nose at her hair either.

 One of the things that Leo was consistently described as being by all who knew her was a ‘whirlwind’. Whenever she’d have a spark of an idea she’d add kindling and stoke it, fanning the flames until it was a roaring fire and even the calming waters of Jamie couldn’t quell it. There was no stopping her once she’d set her mind on something and while Jamie appreciated that drive and determination, it had landed them both in hot water on more than one occasion. The first time was just before Leo’s seventeenth birthday when she’d asked him to accompany her to get her nose pierced. He’d discovered as they were sat in the waiting room, much to his horror, that she hadn’t actually told her parents about her plans to get a piercing and although she was of the legal age of consent, he’d still uttered the words ‘this is a really bad idea’; but even he couldn’t deny that the small little stud, which would later be swapped out for a dainty silver hoop, completed her face and served as an extension of her personality. Her parents on the other hand hadn’t quite seen it that way and Jamie remembers to this day, with great clarity, the exact lecture they’d given her the second they noticed the new addition to their daughter’s face and while they’d not blamed Jamie for not stopping their daughter’s impulsive behaviour he couldn’t help but feel like an enabler. The telling-off from Bill and Diana did little to deter Leo and before long she’d expanded her piercing collection with multiple ear piercings and, much to her mother’s dislike, a navel piercing. Jamie hadn’t learned his lesson either though because during the summer after they’d both turned eighteen, he once again found himself being dragged along to a tattoo parlour by Leo to fulfil his best-friend duty of chief hand holder while she got her very first ink.

That summer would prove to be the last one before everything changed. From the moment the pair entered their last year of high school, the reality of their futures beyond school loomed over them. It was easy to ignore for the most part, school served as a good distraction and kept Jamie and Leo busy enough that they didn’t have much time to venture too far down that rabbit hole but these kinds of things have a habit of rolling around, regardless of our best efforts to ignore them, as sure as death and taxes. Leo’s future at the University of Toronto was set in stone with the return of her provincial exam results and while she should have been delighted at the fact she’d be enrolling at her first choice university and studying her chosen degree, the uncertainty of where Jamie would be and what that would mean for their friendship weighed heavily on her mind and with each passing day of summer that inched them towards September, Leo felt as if she had feet like concrete and a head like lead. Jamie sensed this, of course, knowing her better than anyone, even herself and that’s what made the decision to move across the border, so that he could pursue a career in hockey, the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his eighteen years of life, only surpassed by the conversation neither Jamie nor Leo ever wanted to have.

That evening would stay with Jamie forever like a scar from a wound, vivid and raw at first before fading into something so faint that it’s barely noticeable, except it was still there. It would always be there. The look on Leo’s face was like a knife through his chest and the tears that clung to her cheeks like fresh dew on a rose petal felt like someone was twisting it further into the cut.

“What do you mean ‘you’re leaving’? When? Where?”

“Massachusetts, I’m going to Northeastern University. They have a really good collegiate hockey programme there and-“

Jamie was cut off by Leo shaking her head vehemently as her tears began to flow more freely, her voice strangled in her throat.

“No. You-you can’t. Please, Jame. You could play hockey anywhere, you don’t need to go to another country.”

He swallowed thickly as he watched her, the lump in his throat growing by the second while he willed himself not to cry at the pleading look in her tear-filled eyes. It was ironic really, that the person begging him to stay was the same person who had given him the confidence to take that leap of faith and spread his wings in the first place. If you’d have told Jamie even three years ago that he’d be moving away from everything he’d ever known to a foreign country at age eighteen and take steps towards chasing his dream of playing professional hockey he’d have laughed in your face, but being around Leo and hearing her tell him every single day that he was ‘awesome’ and ‘could be anything he wanted to be in the whole world’ made him slowly start to believe it himself.

“I wish it was that simple, Leo. I do.”

Jamie’s voice was so quiet and raw that he barely recognised it as being his own but it was and Leo heard him. She heard what he was saying and everything that he wasn’t and her eyes closed as her lips were drawn together in a tight line while she held on tightly to the thread that was keeping whatever composure she had left together. She knew deep down that this is what Jamie needed to do, that he couldn’t stay in Toronto and for what? For her? That was a kind of selfishness that Leo wasn’t comfortable with, no matter how tempting it was and no matter how much she wished that she could spend every day for the rest of her life being able to hang out with her best friend, he was destined for greatness. She was sure of it. So she nodded as fresh tears streaked down her face, her voice muted and broken, “I know, Jame. I know that. It’s just… I’m really gonna miss you.”

Jamie reached for her as the first sobs she’d been holding back surged forward, pulling her into his lap from his position at the head of her bed and settling her against his chest. His own tears fell silently into her hair while he held her steadfast, willing the broken pieces of her heart back together with each ‘I’m sorry’ that he murmured against the crown of her head. Jamie had never once allowed himself to imagine a life where he wouldn’t see Leo every day but as he stared down the reality, his new reality, he was thankful for every bit of strength and courage the girl wrapped within his arms had ever given him, and while he knew that it would be hard and while he knew that the sting of missing her would sit heavily in his chest every single day, he knew that it would be worth it all to make her proud.

 While the Earth continues on its pilgrimage around the Sun, life goes on. Life must go on and though it hadn’t been the easiest adjustment for Leo and Jamie to make, they’d made it all the same. They managed to talk most days, often Skyping each other as they went about their evening routines and while it wasn’t anywhere close to the real thing, it would serve as a good enough substitute until summer rolled around again and Jamie would be back home in Toronto. It was both a blessing and a curse, how quickly the months collapsed into each other and it felt like no sooner had Leo started her first semester, she was taking her end of first year exams and looking forward to having a couple of months off before September crept back around and she’d suddenly become a second year. The anticipation of seeing Jamie again was only fuelled further by their shared excitement at their plans for their time together. Both of them had celebrated turning nineteen since the last time they’d seen each other in person and while Leo had enjoyed her first legal drink over Skype with Jamie, it wasn’t quite the same knowing that he wasn’t able to have one with her because of the difference in drinking laws but they’d resolved to use their new found legal drinking status to buy each other a drink once he was back home.

His first night back in the city was spent in Leo’s room where they’d laid side-by-side on her bed, fingers intertwined and talked until they were hoarse. It knocked Jamie back a bit, as he listened to her recount her first year at college, how the girl beside him was both different and still the same all at the same time. University had done her good, he thought, and she seemed a little more worldly and wise, or she did in his eyes anyway. But the fire still burned in her belly, brighter than before in some ways and Jamie was struck by the realisation that his best friend, the girl he’d known all his life, was blossoming into a woman. Some things never change though because she’d almost bowled him over as she practically launched herself at him and into his arms when she opened the front door to find him stood on her parents’ porch, somehow even taller than he was when he’d left nine months ago. He’d reluctantly made the short journey home a little after 1am and Leo had slept more soundly that night that she could ever remember.

It was a Saturday night in early-August when the two of them had decided to head into the city to fulfil their promise of buying each other a drink. Leo had suggested The Lab as she’d been there a few times already throughout her first year and had always had a good time. In all their years of friendship Jamie could probably count on one hand the amount of times he’d seen Leo with more makeup on that her usual mascara and Burt’s Bees lip balm so to say he was a little floored as he watched her come out of her house from his spot in the back seat of a taxi was an understatement. Her long chocolate hair was in beachy waves and the upper half of it was secured into two little space buns on the top of her head. His eyes flitted over the celestial print mini dress that hung loosely on her body and down to her signature black doc martens and felt his chest begin to flutter in a most unusual way. She didn’t give him too long to question those feelings though because she was opening the cab door and sliding into the seat next to him before he could really decipher what that was all about.

“Hey!”

“Hi,” he replied, looking at her a little dumbfounded as he took in the smoked eyeliner she wore and the subtle wash of colour on her lips. “You look…”

“Please say ‘nice’,” she whined. “I had a total crisis about ten minutes before you arrived. You should see the state of my room. Clothes everywhere.”

Jamie chuckled at that and his eyes had softened in a way that was both familiar to Leo and different all at the same time. There was the usual friendliness there, sure, but there was something that she just couldn’t quite place hidden within those ocean eyes of his. The easy smirk he was wearing was one she’d seen before though and so she wasn’t surprised to hear that his response was one of playful teasing.

“I was gonna say that you look great, but yeah, let’s go with ‘nice’”.

Leo instinctively rolled her eyes and swatted gently at his bicep with an exaggerated sigh.

“Ass.”

“It’s not like you to wear makeup,” Jamie remarked.

“Yeah, well, figured I’d make an effort seeing as though this is technically a belated birthday celebration.”

“I’m honoured that you thought I was worth the effort.” Even in the darkness of the back of the cab, Leo could still see the shit eating grin that had graced Jamie’s features.

“Who said I made the effort for you?” she replied without missing as much as a beat. “I might be wanting to look pretty for the handsome men of Toronto.”

“What handsome men?”

Jamie cringed as soon as the words were out of his mouth, not only at what he’d said but also at his delivery which had been rushed and a shade accusatory. It’d taken him a little by surprise if he was to be completely honest and he didn’t quite understand why the suggestion had made him feel a momentary pang of annoyance and disappointment all at once. Much like a bolt of lightning though, it had gone no sooner had it come. Leo simply scoffed, not prepared to unpack whatever the hell that was and replied with a gentle roll of her eyes.

“It was a joke, Jame. No one in this city is dumb enough to go out with me.”

The words were there on the tip of Jamie’s tongue, all he had to do was say them but the fact they were there at all had made Jamie’s heart take off galloping and so he swallowed those words down and forced his eyes away from his best friend, because that’s all this was between them, and out of the cab window to look at the passing lights outside.

Jamie had been successful at stuffing the weird tightening in his chest he’d felt from the second he’d laid eyes on Leo down into his stomach and the beer he was drinking was doing a good enough job at drowning it. Leo on the other hand was having a much tougher time of things. Instead of the Long Island Iced Tea hushing her racing mind it seemed to give it more impetus. Why did Jamie have such a knee-jerk reaction to what was quite clearly a joke? Why was she suddenly really impressed at the fact he could sing The Bad Touch word for word when it was something he’d been able to do for years? Why did the plaid over-shirt she’d seen him wear hundreds of times look so good on him all of a sudden? And when did he get so broad? She had questions, lots of them and even her questions had questions, the biggest one being ‘why am I being weird about this all of a sudden?’ It was Jamie. It was just Jamie, her best friend of fifteen years.

She hadn’t planned on having a second Long Island Iced Tea and she definitely hadn’t planned on two turning into three but perhaps the third time was the charm because the whirring in her head had stopped and all she could focus on was the lopsided grin on Jamie’s face as he looked at her from his position on the barstool to her right.

“You’re drunk,” she grinned from behind her glass, in no position herself to make such a statement.

“’m not,” Jamie replied in the way that only a drunk person trying to convince both themselves and everyone else that they weren’t.

“Liar.”

“Says you.”

Leo laughed at that, a little wild and a lot silly and it split Jamie’s face into a huge grin while he brought his hand up to tuck a strand of hair back out of her face. Leo’s laughter softened into a gentle smile, her eyes fixed on Jamie’s. He’d always loved her eyes, he thought, ever since they were small and they were every hue of the forest, rimmed coolly with moss. Their lightness often reminded him of summertime, when the sun-rays warmed each extended leaf and even now, in the darkness of the dimly lit bar, he could see them sparkling like emeralds and while he wasn’t sure if it was the beers that had him feeling a little bolder than usual, he couldn’t stop himself from asking her the question that had been sitting high in his throat since the cab ride there.

“Why’d you say that before? About no one in this city bein’ dumb enough to date you?”

She shrugged apathetically while her fingers busied themselves with the hem of her dress.

“S’true,” she replied. “’m not easy to be around. I know that. You know that, you’ve been puttin’ up with my ass for fifteen years.”

“Leo.”

“What?”

Jamie reached his hand down and squeezed her leg gently, enough pressure just to get her eyes on his.

“I was honestly surprised that you weren’t datin’ anyone. You’re… God, you’re so fuckin’ awesome. Any guy would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend.”

Leo tore her eyes away from his just long enough to get the heat quickly rising in her cheeks under control. Jamie waited for her, his eyes soft and gentle when she finally met his gaze again.

“Any girl would be lucky to have you,” Leo mumbled.

“Tell that to Sarah,” Jamie chuckled quietly in response.

“Sarah was stupid,” Leo said with a vehemence that made Jamie’s stomach flutter and had him leaning in to bring his face closer to hers without a second thought.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He was so close now that Leo felt his reply on the exhale of his breath against her lips. She looked down at Jamie’s mouth and swallowed hard, her eyes closing as he inched his mouth closer and closer until-

“Jamie!”

The warmth of anticipation quickly receded and Leo opened her eyes to see Jamie pulling back from her and looking wildly over his shoulder for the source of the voice. Leo had assumed he’d found it when she felt him slide off the stool beside her, instantly missing his presence, and cross the short distance to the man who’d called his name who turned out to be a guy they’d both known from high school. She knew that she should’ve followed Jamie’s lead and catch up with an old acquaintance and she knew that if her mother knew what she was doing she’d think her to be rude, but Leo’s mind wasn’t in any position to be giving the instructions required to move her legs because while she sat there mindlessly playing with the beer mat that had found itself between her fingers, her brain was already analysing what just happened in about a million different ways while still managing to ignore the complete obvious when it came to acknowledging what it all meant.

 The third Long Island Iced Tea was a bad idea, that much was clear to Leo as she awoke the next morning. She was thankful that her past drunken-self had at least had the foresight to bring a pint of water and a Tylenol up to bed with her. She groaned as she hauled herself up the pillows until she was propped up against them, sitting with her head resting against the headboard and cursing the tiny crack in her curtains that was catapulting the morning sunlight right into her eyes. She reached for her water and took a sip to swallow the tablet before taking long, deep gulps until the glass was drained. Leo wasn’t exactly sure why she’d found herself almost kissing Jamie although if you were to ask her a decade later she’d tell you that she knew exactly why, but rather she was simply refusing to acknowledge the glaringly obvious. She chewed on her bottom lip much the same way her mind was chewing over his words to her last night: ‘any guy would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend.’ What did that mean exactly? And why would he say something like that?

She was pulled from her brooding by the obnoxious vibration of her phone against the nightstand. Leo knew who the message was from before she’d even unlocked her phone and while a very large part of her wanted to just forget last night ever happened and carry on as normal, she was also curious to hear Jamie’s thoughts on it all.

Jamie: Hey, just wanted to check in with you. Hope the head isn’t too bad this morning 🙈 x

Leo: Drunk me was a very good friend to future hungover me and made sure I had some water and Tylenol lol I bet you don’t even have one, which is very rude by the way. If I’m suffering then you have to suffer too x

Leo paused for a moment as her thumbs hovered over the keyboard, racking her brain for the words needed to gently broach the subject of last night. She’d hoped that Jamie would save her the trouble but she wasn’t going to be that lucky.

Jamie: I had a slight headache this morning but I imagine it’s nothing compared to yours. You were really going for it with those Iced Teas 😂 x

Leo: Three was a mistake, yes x

Leo: Actually, while we’re on the subject I kinda wanted to talk to you about last night x

Jamie: You mean we weren’t already talking about it? X

Leo: I meant the part where it seemed like you were going to kiss me, specifically x

Jamie: Ah. Yeah. That x

Leo pulled her hand through her hair and sighed in frustration, almost regretting even bringing it up. She was almost certain that Jamie had meant nothing by it, they’d both had a lot to drink, right? Surely this was just one of those things between two good friends caused by too much to drink and they’d be laughing about it in a few months’ time. That was Leo’s take on it, anyway, and she was sticking to it.

Leo: I mean, we were both drunk, right? X

Jamie: Yeah, I guess x

Leo: And I think it was just a combination of the alcohol and still having those feelings of missing you while you were away and I was just so excited that you were home that I got swept up in it all x

Jamie: Right. Yeah, that makes sense x

She chewed on her bottom lip in thought, knowing that really this should have been a conversation they’d had face to face but better to address it now than wait and give them both chance to analyse it to death.

Leo: So we’ll just chalk it up as one of those weird alcohol moments? X

Jamie: Yeah, sounds good to me x

While it didn’t do much to settle her nerves, Jamie’s response was good enough for her and she felt confident enough that the matter could be put to bed and that it wasn’t necessary to give it any more thought. She sent Jamie a final message to tell him that she was going to get up to take a shower and that she’d talk to him later on after she’d got home from visiting her grandparents. Jamie had too decided that a shower was the best course of action, partly to wash the smell of bar and cigarette smoke from his body but also as an attempt to clear his head. He wasn’t entirely sure why last night of all nights he felt like he couldn’t take his eyes off Leo. Sure, she was wearing makeup which wasn’t something that she would usually do but it wasn’t as if that act itself was out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary though was the way his hands felt on her waist as they danced together, the way he remembered his heart had sounded as it whooshed in his ears when his lips were no more than a hair away from hers. That almost contact had set a fire in his belly and now that it had been lit he wasn’t exactly sure if it could actually be extinguished. Maybe Leo was right though. Perhaps it was one of those moments that should be chalked up as them both having too much alcohol and too much time apart; Jamie’s only hope was that if he could ignore that fire for long enough and not stoke the flames by giving it all too much thought, it would burn out on its own.

 August quietly slipped by and all too soon Jamie and Leo were once again saying farewell. Instead of heading back to Massachusetts, Jamie was going to be making a new home in Saginaw, Michigan having decided to sign with the Spirit in order to further develop himself. Leo continued to catch up with Jamie much in the same way they had the year before while she threw herself into her studies, the four hour drive often being just that little bit too far to make their conflicting schedules feasibly work. Her passion for her degree was clear to Jamie and he looked forward to hearing all about her classes and assignments, even going so far as asking her to send them to him so he could read about all that she’d been learning so far. Jamie had always known that Leo was incredibly bright, she’d always been articulate and she always knew exactly how to express herself which was something that Jamie both admired and was envious of. While he still had a long way to go, he never let himself forget just how much he’d learned from her in that respect and it was just one of the many reasons that he was grateful for her friendship. The ease in which she expressed her ideas and opinions in her academic writing was so impressive to Jamie and it really gave him a new appreciation for her mind and her talent. These were all things he already knew, of course, but seeing her flying and flourishing at university filled him with an immense amount of pride for her.

Naturally, much like most things in their lives, that feeling of pride was felt by Leo whenever Jamie told her about his games and life playing in the OHL and she was beyond excited for him when she’d watched him get selected by Dallas in the 2011 draft. She followed games whenever she could and talked to Jamie after he’d finished playing whenever their schedules would allow. She was so unbelievably happy to see Jamie making positive steps towards his professional playing career and when his path led him back to St. Catharines, Ontario to play for the Niagara IceDogs, Leo could have burst with the joy of having her favourite person back home, even though he was busy more often than not. Despite his schedule, Jamie always made himself available to talk to her whenever school had her stressed, especially given that her third year was proving to be quite the challenge and the closer proximity to home meant that they could hang out a lot more whenever their schedules allowed. But more importantly, as had been the common theme throughout their lives so far, they pulled each other through the ups and downs of the year and spent that summer joined at the hip, enjoying their last bit of time together before Jamie would make the move down to Texas just before the start of Leo’s final year at university.

If Leo had thought that her third year was difficult then she was in for a rude awakening when it came to her final one. The pace was relentless, especially when it came to balancing all of her different classes and assignments and while Jamie didn’t have a clue what she was talking about half the time, he was happy that she was at least enjoying the process and supported her in any capacity he could across all the miles and time zones. Leo couldn’t watch as many of Jamie’s games as she would have liked, given her own gruelling schedule, but she sent him words of encouragement every single day and despite her not being able to be physically with him, Jamie felt her presence all around him just the same and counted down the days until he’d be able to spend the summer with her once more. He’d talk with her whenever he could and there were more times that she’d fallen asleep still on the line with him than Jamie could count, each time making the ache in his chest more prominent than the last. Trips to Toronto during the season were infrequent and much too short but seeing her, even for those few hours after a game, where it felt like there had been no time or distance between them both at all, gave him the quiet peace he needed until he could be with her again, laid on her bed at her parents’ house with the windows open, the gentle breeze and her soft humming against his chest as they listened to music together with their fingers laced tight.

Jamie still remembers to this day the exact moment that Leo opened her degree results. He’d thankfully been home and arrived at her parents’ house not long after 9am to have breakfast with them while they waited for the results to go live on the school online portal. Diana had made pancakes, he recalled, with bacon and maple syrup and Bill had been out in the car to pick up a Tim Horton’s for everyone and (hopefully) celebratory Timbits for Leo. Jamie wished that he could’ve bottled the look on Leo’s face when she found out that she’d be graduating from the University of Toronto with a Bachelor of Arts in History with a minor in Religious Studies and because of her exceptionally high grades, she could therefore progress onto the Master’s program to study History further. He remembered whispering in her ear how proud he was of her as he held onto her tightly and it only grew with the realisation that he’d get to share that moment with her on her graduation day.

 On June 18th, 2014 Leonora Harris awoke to her father carrying in a tray laden with coffee, fresh orange, toast and jam along with a card bearing handwriting she recognised as belonging to Alison Oleksiak. Her was mother close behind with the biggest bouquet of flowers Leo had ever seen bundled within her arms.

“Happy graduation day, sweetheart,” Bill said softly as he placed the tray into Leo’s lap after waiting for her to sit herself up and dropped a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“These came for you about five minutes ago,” Diana added, setting the bouquet down on the nightstand.

Leo took the opportunity to peer at the flowers wrapped in brown paper and cellophane and tied up with string. Her floral knowledge was admittedly limited but she recognised the large lion-head dahlia blooms nestled amongst sunflowers and yellow roses and peppered with smaller sprays of baby’s breath. She reached for the small card poking out from amongst the flowers and opened the envelope to reveal a small piece of paper. After admiring the beautiful penmanship of whomever had written the message she allowed herself to read it and felt a lovely warmth spread from the centre of her chest all the way down to her toes.

Leo,

Congrats again on your new membership to the Silly Hat Club! Enjoy every second and don’t trip over. I’m really proud of you and I always knew you could do it.

Love, J xxx

Leo smiled as she put the small piece of paper back into the envelope before turning her attention to the card on her breakfast tray which had contained a ‘Happy Graduation’ card from the Oleksiaks and a gift certificate for her favourite book store which was where she bought the majority of her second hand CDs from.

“Exicted?” her mother asked from her new position sat by Leo’s feet at the end of the bed, her hand laid gently on her shins over the comforter.

Leo nodded and echoed her mother’s smile in reply.

“We’re so proud of you, honey,” Diana continued, voice cracking slightly as she sniffled with pure happiness. “So, so proud.”

“Thank you, mama. Not sure I coulda done it without you both though.”

“We just gave you the tools, Nora Noo,” Bill spoke softly. “The hard work was all yours.”

Leo grinned at her father and it was a smile she would wear for the remainder of the day. She felt every bit the part in her navy blue wrap dress underneath her cap and gown and Jamie had to fight hard to swallow the lump in his throat as he watched his favourite person in the whole world cross the stage to collect her diploma. He didn’t miss the sly glance and smirk Penny was wearing to his left and all he could manage was a mumbled ‘shut up’ which told the youngest Oleksiak all she needed to know and would have her looking rather smug for the rest of the day. The group returned to the Harris house after the ceremony had finished and Alison and Diana were satisfied they had all the photos they needed. Leo wasn’t even sure how her mother had found the time to prepare food but within twenty minutes of them arriving back at the house, the kitchen island was filled with various nibbles and a charcuterie board. The champagne was popped and Bill led the group in raising a glass to Leo, Jamie with his arm tight around her waist all the while.

Long after the food had been cleared away and their families had begun to migrate towards the living room, Jamie took the opportunity to gently grab Leo’s hand and lead her through the kitchen out to the back porch, refilling their champagne flutes on the way and purposefully ignoring the shit-eating grins Hayley and Penny were throwing their way. He settled on the swing loveseat, his large arm draped along the back and nodded for Leo to sit down beside him. She settled back against the cushions, her body pressed lightly into his side and took a sip of champagne as the pair slipped into an easy silence while twilight slowly began to descend all around them. They stayed that way for a few minutes, content to watch as the sky melted into a watercolour of magenta, red and violet. Jamie broke the stillness first with a voice so quiet that Leo could’ve been forgiven for not hearing him at all. She could feel him prepare to speak before the words had even left his mouth though, the small breath he took settling all through her own body and preparing her for whatever he was about to say.

“I’m so proud of you, y’know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” Leo whispered in reply, not wanting to burst the calm bubble that they’d cultivated around them.

Jamie reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet drawstring bag, handing it to Leo and nodding for her to open it.

“What’s this?”

“Your graduation present,” Jamie smiled softly.

“But you already sent me flowers,” Leo protested.

“Those were your graduation flowers. This is your graduation present.”

“Jame.”

“Just open the damn bag,” he laughed quietly, blue eyes keen as he watched her run the cord between her fingers.

Leo’s fingers pulled at the cord around the top of the pouch to open it up and reached inside to pull out a thin woven leather bracelet. The silver of the clasp glinted faintly in the afterglow of the day and dangling from the tan cord were two silver charms: a graduation cap and a lion head. Leo swallowed thickly in an attempt to keep her tears at bay, not quite trusting herself to speak for fear that once she started crying, she would not be able to stop.

“Do you like it?” Jamie asked nervously after Leo’s silence had gone on a little too long for comfort.

“I love it, Jamie,” she sniffled. “It’s perfect.”

She handed the bracelet to him and offered her wrist in a wordless request for him to put it on her. He took it from her gladly and after a few seconds of fiddling and a nervous laugh from Jamie as his large fingers struggled with the dainty clasp, the bracelet was around her wrist and Leo was smiling softly as she admired it. Jamie’s arm had found its way back to its previous position along the back of the swing, his fingers tracing patterns along Leo’s upper arm idly which was something he’d done countless times before and yet none had ever felt as intimate as it did in that moment. His heart had taken to hammering in his chest as he watched her and the way the dusk and the faint glow of the string lights on the porch gave her an almost ethereal quality which made the fire in his stomach that he’d tried so hard to forget about spring to life and begin to burn ferociously. It was almost too much, that overwhelming need to kiss her despite not quite understanding where these feelings were coming from and why they were springing up now of all times, but he remembered the night at the bar where they’d come to within a breath of it and he remembered the morning after, their conversation and the fact that they were just friends and that Leo wasn’t really his. So he did the only thing he could think to do in that moment, he took a deep, settling breath before casting his eyes back out towards the sky.

“Are you okay?”

Her question was quiet and soft and it crawled all through Jamie’s skin to settle within his chest.

“Yeah,” he replied just as quietly. “Just… Thinking about when we were kids and how much everything has changed.”

“We’re still the same though, you and I.”

“You are, but you’ve always been awesome and smart and just… amazing but I’m not the same,” Jamie shook his head. “I’m so different to what I used to be, in the best kind of way and I know that that’s down to you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Leo murmured.

“Except you did,” he countered but with the softness still present in his tone. “You taught me what it meant to be brave and made me believe that I could do anything and because of you I’m playing in the AHL, I played for the Dallas Stars and even if I never get called up to play for them again, I did it. I played in the NHL and I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

“Jamie.”

Leo’s voice was caught somewhere in her throat, tangled up in the lump that stubbornly sat there and all she could do was reach for his other hand and hold it tightly in his lap.

“It’s true and you wanna know what else is true?” He paused while he waited for Leo to reply which he got as a small nod before continuing, sure and steady in his delivery. “That you’re gonna kick ass on this master’s degree. You’re the smartest person I know, Leo and you’re gonna be fucking amazing.”

Leo rested her head onto Jamie’s shoulder, mostly out of a need to be close to him but partly because her eyes were full to the brim with tears and she didn’t want him to see her cry on what was such a happy day, which was probably a good thing because a few stray tears had slipped out and onto Jamie’s cheeks as well.

“You’re such a sap,” she half-teased, her voice muffled by his button up shirt but she squeezed his hand all the same.

Jamie closed his eyes and pressed a soft kiss into her hair, the gentle teasing enough to pull him back into reality, the one where they were just friends and where their relationship was easy and didn’t need to be complicated by romantic feelings, the reality where come September he’d be leaving town again and they would go back to phone calls and FaceTiming across the time zones whenever they could. They were just friends. They were just friends. They were just friends.

Jamie swallowed thickly and forced a lightness into his tone and a smile onto his face before he gave her a reply. “Yeah, I know. But don’t go tellin’ anyone or we’re gonna have to throw hands.”

“You’re too scared to fight me, Oleksiak.”

Jamie breathed a laugh into her hair at that, her response so quick and quippy and so Leo that it was enough to elicit a real and genuine chuckle despite the knot that sat heavy in his stomach. His fingers flexing around the shoulder his arm was draped over as he spoke, “Yeah, you’re right. I am.”

It would be something that Jamie wouldn’t find out until much later on, but from the moment he put that bracelet around Leo’s wrist, she made damn sure that she never ever took it off, even as the months rolled into years and even when it felt like there was so much distance between them, both literally and figuratively, that bracelet was a reminder to Leo that her favourite person was always with her, no matter what.

Jamie meanwhile would keep trying to smother the fire that Leo had set in his stomach the night they’d almost kissed but despite his best efforts, the flames would keep creeping higher and higher with every single thought he had of her and he was beginning to understand that they would not stop until they reached his chest and engulfed his heart completely.

 The next couple of years would pass for both Jamie and Leo in a bit of a blur. Leo threw herself into her master’s education completely, determined to give herself the best possible chance of landing a good job after she’d graduated. It was as intense as she’d expected it to be and while she had initially struggled to pick a topic for her thesis, after numerous 3am phone calls with Jamie and a heart-to-heart with her parents, she finally settled on focusing her paper on the role of the church on life in the Middle Ages, which to quote Jamie, sounded ‘impressive as fuck’. The research material was interesting enough and Leo found that there was enough there for her to really get into the meat of it all. Jamie on the other hand was trying his hardest to establish himself as an NHL defenseman and would find himself flitting between the Texan and Dallas Stars. He’d have been lying if he said that it didn’t weigh heavily on him sometimes and while he tried his hardest to keep his conversations with Leo light so as not to worry her during an important part of her studying, her incredible ability to sense when he wasn’t quite feeling himself was so good that it was almost eerie. He would apologise every single time for venting and she would tell him that’s what friends were for and offer him words of encouragement and advice that spurred him on and pushed him to keep working hard and to keep chasing his dream of making it in the National Hockey League.

Leo graduated for a second time in the summer of 2016 with a Masters in History, achieving a remarkable A+ as her final grade which secured her dream job working at the Royal Ontario Museum. Jamie once again sat at her parents’ side, chest swelling with pride, as he watched her cross that stage to collect her diploma. He’d also helped her move into and decorate her first apartment, an airy two bedroomed place not far from her new place of employment and Jamie’s own downtown loft that he was renting, right before he had to fly out to Rio to watch Penny represent team Canada at the Olympics. Leo called Jamie after every single one of Penny’s races, making sure to get a promise from him that he would tell the youngest Oleksiak just how proud Leo was of her and of course, reminding Jamie that he was henceforth known as ‘Penny’s brother’ and that he would no longer be allowed to pick on her now that she was Canada’s sweetheart, which had earned her a great deal of grumbling from Jamie.

Jamie was thankful that he would at least get to spend a couple of weeks at home before he was due to fly back down to Texas. It was a late-August evening when Leo found herself sprawled out on Jamie’s couch. He’d only been back from Brazil for a couple of days but had said that there was a couple of things that he needed to do before he had to leave to report for training camp. He was playing on his Playstation and while at first Leo been content to just scroll through Instagram, she’d soon grown tired of that and was now eyeing him from her position at the opposite end of the sofa. If he noticed her restless sighs he certainly didn’t give anything away and his focus remained fixed on the television. She narrowed her eyes at him after a particularly obnoxious exhale of her breath garnered zero reaction or response and began to scoot slowly towards him, a mischievous glint in her eye that could only be born out of boredom.

Leo settled next to Jamie on her knees, a slow grin forming as she looked at him. He was still looking at the TV, completely engrossed in whatever game it was that he was playing and if he had noticed her then he kept maintaining an air of indifference as his thumbs pushed at the buttons on his controller. She’d started by giving his bicep a gentle prod, looking at him expectantly while she waited for his eyes to find hers. Nothing. She prodded again, a little harder this time and while she noticed the corner of his lips quirk he still didn’t turn his gaze onto her. Leo furrowed her brows as a small pout graced her features which earned a faint chuckle from Jamie. He knew what she was trying to do, of course, knowing her better than anyone, but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction, at least not yet.

Leo began to gently prod the side of his head, her pout devolving into an impish little grin as she noticed Jamie roll his eyes exaggeratedly.

“Oh my god, can you not?” he grumbled but with a playful edge to his tone.

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.”

“Real mature. Not the kind of behaviour I’d expect from a master’s graduate at all,” he smirked as he side eyed her.

“Those are your standards, Jamie, and quite frankly, I don’t subscribe to them.”

She reached down to pinch at his ribs through the thin material of his tank top, the yelp she received more pained than she was anticipating.

“Oh my god! I did not pinch you that hard!”

“You got me right on my tattoo!” Jamie protested.

“What tattoo? Since when have you had a tattoo there?”

Jamie lifted the hem of his tank to reveal an intricately patterned tribal lion head, the skin still red and raw.

“When did you get that done?” Leo asked, looking closely at it.

“Yesterday so it’s still pretty fuckin’ tender.”

“Awwww,” Leo smirked, making Jamie’s eyes flicker with a hint of nervousness at the devilish look in her eye and the mischief in her tone. “You love me so much you got a lion.”

Jamie groaned and rolled his eyes as Leo’s face split into a fiendish grin.

“I did not get a lion for you. You don’t have the monopoly on lions, y’know. They can represent lots of things, like bravery or courage. Not everything is about you, Leo.”

“Suuuure,” she teased.

“Whatever,” Jamie grumbled as he pulled his shirt back down and used the controller to turn off the Playstation before setting it down on the coffee table. “Happy?” he groused but still surveyed Leo with that familiar warmth he had in his eyes that was reserved exclusively for her.

“Yup,” she replied, obnoxiously putting her feet into his lap and wiggling them until he brought his hand down to rest upon her shin, the gentle weight of it and the warmth of his touch against her bare legs sparking a sad smile on her features while she studied his features like she was committing them once again to memory, the realisation that he would be gone again next week washing over her like someone had just blown a dam.

“What?” he asked with a gentle chuckle while his eyes searched her face.

“Nothing, just… I’m gonna miss you when you go back to the States.”

“You’re gonna miss harassing me, more like.”

“No!” she rebutted, before immediately giving him a small grin. “I mean, yeah, but not just that. I’m gonna miss you. I always miss you.”

Jamie’s expression softened as her voice trailed off and his thumb began to take on a mind of its own as it started drawing small circles against her skin.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper to which she nodded in reply, unable to speak for the quickly forming lump in her throat. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

Leo shifted and moved towards Jamie, slotting easily against his side like she belonged there while still being cognizant of the still fresh tattoo. As Jamie pulled her closer he tried not to lose it as her arm draped lazily across his abdomen and her face pressed against his chest. Her fingers had occupied themselves with the hem of his shirt and he swore his heart was going to beat right out of his chest as they’d slipped underneath the fabric and were dancing lightly over the skin above the waistband of his shorts. Leo didn’t notice the wide-eyed expression on his face though, her eyes were closed and she was too focused on the strong beat of his heart to stop herself from spiralling over the thought of him going back to Texas and not seeing him again for another nine months. She hated this part, the part where he would go back to his other life, the other life that she was only a part of via a telephone screen and while she knew that his life was really none of her business, it was getting harder and harder to remind herself that he wasn’t really hers and to let go of all the anxieties and insecurities him leaving would bring.

 If he’d heard it once, he’d heard it a thousand times: ‘you need to get yourself a girl, Rig.’ While Jamie knew that this particular sentiment from his teammates came from a good place, it wasn’t as easy as just picking up any girl in a bar and falling into bed with her and while he knew that it wasn’t a betrayal and that he certainly shouldn’t view it as such, the lion on his ribs made it feel like one regardless because whatever bullshit he’d fed Leo about it representing courage and bravery, they were traits that he’d learned from her and it was his way of having her with him always. It wasn’t like he wasn’t at least trying, but he knew fine well the reasons why he could never get past a first date with anyone, because whether he was consciously doing it or not, none of them could compare with the girl back home in Toronto with the jade green eyes. Jamie was beginning to understand that it was senseless to try and ignore what was right in front of him but he was so crippled by the fear that it’d been too long, that too much had been left to build up, that, as Segs had put it, he’d find himself ‘eternally friend-zoned.’ Jamie knew that he’d been through too much with Leo, that she’d become such an intrinsic part of his life, that he was sure his heart would shatter if he lost her and the last thing he wanted to do was push her away with a confession of love that he wasn’t a hundred percent sure she’d reciprocate.

‘The way I see it there’s three possible scenarios here,’ Tyler had said. ‘You tell her how you feel and she tells you she feels the same way. Boom. Happily ever after. You tell her how you feel and she tells you she loves you but just as a friend and you have to go on knowing that or you confess your love, she freaks the fuck out and you ruin twenty-plus years of friendship’ and because success wasn’t a complete guarantee, Jamie figured the best course of action would be to suck it up because if he had to choose between having Leo only as a friend and not having her at all, then he would be her friend and love her quietly for the rest of his days.

Their lives had continued much in the same way as before. They would talk whenever they were able to, which was less than they both would’ve liked due to the time difference and their conflicting schedules, but they made it work as best as they could and when Jamie returned home in the summer things were the same as they’d always been, the only difference being the fire that had started off as a flicker in his stomach had taken to consuming his whole body and the urge to pull her body against his and kiss her like he so badly wanted to was almost unbearable. The only thing that kept holding Jamie back was the same thing that he wanted most in the whole world. He found himself coming back to Tyler’s words over and over again, chewing over them like a starving dog with a bone and resigning himself to a lifetime of purgatory because the thought of losing Leo completely cut deeper than the thought of never having her in the way that he longed for the most.

Leo, meanwhile, was struggling more than she would have ever admitted to Jamie. The schedule of her job and how it wouldn’t quite mesh with Jamie’s, despite her best efforts, was beginning to weigh heavy and she surprised herself, if she gave it a second thought, with how much her mood would tank if she didn’t get to speak to Jamie. She knew she shouldn’t have let it bother her because not only did that make it sound like she was incredibly dependant on him (which wasn’t the case at all) it also made her sound a little bit possessive and she wasn’t okay with that, not least because Jamie’s wasn’t hers in the first place and because it was a trait and a behaviour that didn’t sit right with her. Jamie was his own person, after all, with his own life and his own wants and desires and she had no right to lay claim on him just because of some childish though process such as ‘he was mine first’. The loneliness was crippling though and the first time Jamie had told her that he wouldn’t be able to Skype because he was going on a date, Leo had to swallow down the ball of emotion in her throat that she hadn’t expected. She tried to tell herself that this was a good thing for Jamie, that he deserved this and that it was going to happen eventually because Jamie was all the good things in the world and it was only a matter of time before he found himself a nice girl, but she couldn’t help but feel like she couldn’t breathe every time she thought of Jamie with someone else. It wasn’t fair though, on either of them, because they were just friends, that’s all and if Jamie was dating then maybe she should too.

 It was just before Christmas in 2017 when Jamie found himself packing up his life in Dallas and moving the 1200-plus miles east to Pittsburgh. Trades were never easy but he kept reminding himself that it was part of the job and at least he would be closer to Toronto, his family and Leo. He’d not long sat down in his new apartment, an opened bottle of beer on the coffee table and a pizza on the way. He knew it wasn’t exactly a nutritionist’s dream but after spending the best part of his day unpacking his life into a space that was still too clinical to really feel like home (and he knew needed Leo’s touch), he wanted something easy and cooking a healthy, balanced meal wasn’t it. It was getting on for 10:30 at night and while there was a huge part of him that wanted to be selfish and call Leo, especially now that they were on the same time zone, he also knew that she needed to be at the museum early tomorrow and would already be asleep, so he took to scrolling through Instagram instead. It wasn’t something he did very often and he wasn’t one to post anything on there himself, but Leo used it quite frequently and in a moment where he found himself missing her, it would be a decent enough substitute until he could call her the next day.

He wasn’t sure why he was so taken aback by her latest post, maybe it was because she hadn’t ever mentioned anything to Jamie, but the sight of Leo wrapped in the arms of a man who had his lips pressed into her hair had jarred him and now that the initial shock had worn off, he felt his free palm begin to hurt from where his fist had become so tightly balled that his nails were digging into the flesh there. Jamie noticed that she’d tagged the mystery guy in the post and so, despite his better judgment, he clicked on the handle and followed it to the profile. He was called Ben, Jamie learned, and he was annoyingly good looking but the thing that had Jamie’s heart hammering as the anger began to pool in his stomach was the fact that Ben had more than one photo of Leo on his profile and there was a recurring theme with each of the captions on these photos that had Jamie’s jaw clenching: ‘my girl’. Jamie locked his phone screen and sat gripping the device in his hand for a few moments while his teeth pressed tighter and tighter together. He sniffled slightly before squashing that emotion right back down and slamming his phone down onto the coffee table. He’d taken to pacing around the open plan living area and tearing his hands through his hair while he tried to get control of the breathing that was getting a little wild and a little ragged.

They’re just friends. He knew that. They’d ever been anything more and he’d never told her that he wanted them to be anything more, not explicitly anyway, but Jamie’s heart felt like it had been stuffed into a vice and now someone, Ben, was turning the handle and crushing it into a broken and bloody mess. Jamie cursed loudly into the room and resisted the urge to put a fist shaped hole into the drywall. He had no one else to blame but himself, of course, and he knew deep down that he shouldn’t have expected a girl like Leo to stay single and wait indefinitely for him because she was sharp, beautifully wild with a mind that was her own and a smile that had lit up Jamie’s whole world since they were four years old, any man would be mad not to fall for her. But he’d been right there in front of her for over twenty years, he’d been the one to wipe her tears away, he’d been the one to help her fix shelves up in her new apartment, he’d been the one she called at three in the morning when she couldn’t sleep. He had been all of those things and he had been loving her for all that time and yet she didn’t see him. Maybe Tyler was right, maybe he was so deep in the friend-zone that there was no way out of it because right now Jamie was up to his neck in it and it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

What he didn’t understand though and perhaps the thing that had irked him the most about this was the fact that Leo had never mentioned that she was seeing anybody. Not once. Jamie knew that she’d been going on dates and while that thought had made his chest ache a little, he also knew that she wasn’t his and that she was only doing the same thing he was but now that he thought about it, she hadn’t mentioned going on a date for a good couple of months and now that he’d seen that photo, he understood why. So why hadn’t she told him that she was seeing this guy? Especially if it had been going on for a couple of months now. He grabbed his beer and drained it before dragging his weary body to bed and drifting into an uneasy sleep.

Jamie awoke to a text from Leo but he didn’t bother to read it. He was still too keyed up from the night before and he needed to get his focus on hockey while he got himself ready to head to practice. He’d be playing in his first game as a Penguin on home ice that night and he wanted to make sure that he gave it his all and made a good first impression. His time in Dallas had been plagued with inconsistency, healthy scratches and yo-yoing between the minors and the big league and he didn’t want to put himself back into a situation where he didn’t know if a mistake on the ice was going to have him sitting in a press-box for two or three games. His first practice went as well as Jamie could’ve hoped it would and he couldn’t deny the relief that flooded him when he was made to feel welcome and like he’d always been a part of that group. Leo had always talked about the magic of new beginnings but it was never something that Jamie had ever experienced for himself but as he sat in his new stall before his first game as a Pittsburgh Penguin, Jamie couldn’t help but feel the spark of electricity that he was sure was what Leo had meant.

He was sprawled out on his couch watching TV when Leo had called him. There was a part of him that wanted to let the call go to voicemail but he knew that wasn’t fair because for all he was mad that she hadn’t told him about her new boyfriend, he also knew that it was her prerogative and it was, quite frankly, none of his business and he needed to get over whatever this was, no matter how hard it might be.

“Hello?”

“Hi!” Leo said excitedly. “Oh my god! I watched your first game, you were amazing! Do you love it? Is everyone nice? What’s your apartment like?”

Jamie couldn’t help the soft chuckle that floated past his lips at her animated tone and barrage of questions.

“Yes, yes and yes.”

“What’s it like? Pittsburgh?”

“I’ve only been here a day, Leo. I literally went from my apartment to practice, back to my apartment and then to the rink for the game.”

Although Jamie couldn’t see her, Leo furrowed her brows at the hint of an edge in his tone and while she could’ve easily played it off as him just being tired, given that he’d uprooted his life and moved halfway across a country to then play a game of hockey, she knew him better than that and so, never one to beat around the bush, she figured she’d just get to the point.

“Is everything okay, Jame? You seem… I don’t know, you seem off.”

“I’m fine, Leo,” Jamie replied with a sigh. “Just tired.”

“Please,” Leo said with such a softness that it made Jamie’s throat tighten. “Please don’t lie to me, Jamie. We’ve known each other too long for that.”

Jamie exhaled slowly at that, a settling breath to give him time to gather his thoughts and composure.

“I just,” he began, voice controlled and measured but quiet. “Don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that you had a boyfriend.”

“I don-“

“Don’t lie to me, Leo,” Jamie said, tone a little harsher and throwing her own words back at her. “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

Leo bit her lip and exhaled shakily. Even through the phone she could picture the hurt and disappointment on Jamie’s face and while she knew that she should have told him, she also didn’t really have a good enough reason for not doing so and somehow that was worse.

“I didn’t,” she started, still unsure what to say even as the words were coming out of her mouth because there were still the reasons as to why she didn’t say anything that she still didn’t really understand herself. “I didn’t know if it was anything serious and I guess I just wanted to be sure.”

“You waited a whole two months.”

“I- wait, how did you know we’d been dating for two months?” Leo challenged.

“Irrelevant,” Jamie shot back.

“It’s absolutely not irrelevant. You didn’t even know I was seeing anyone before that post I made yesterday let alone that it’d been two months. What? Are you stalking him now?”

“It’s not stalking if his profile is public,” Jamie defended earning him nothing but a scoff from Leo. “Besides, not like I was gonna find out from you any time soon, maybe once the wedding invitation came through the mail.”

“Oh don’t be so fucking ridiculous, Jamie,” Leo scorned. “You know it’s not like that.”

“So what is it like? I’m dying to know.”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal! I was going to tell you but I figured I’d let you get settled in Pittsburgh and get your first game under your belt and I haven’t told you before now because I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t more than just a couple of dates. It really doesn’t have to be a big deal, Jamie.”

“If it wasn’t such a big deal you wouldn’t have been so bothered about waiting for me to ‘get settled.’” He emphasised her words as he quoted them back to her but his tone was little more than a frustrated growl. He knew this was a stupid thing for them to be fighting about and he knew that she didn’t owe him a thing but it was easier to channel the hurt it brought him than confront the overwhelming jealousy that was crushing him.

Leo was done with this argument though and she didn’t like the way her whole body felt like it was aching at the sound of Jamie’s voice through the phone so she did the only thing she felt like she could do in the moment.

“I’m sorry, Jame. I-I really didn’t think it was-.” She trailed off quietly, for once in her life at a loss for words. “I think I’m just gonna go, you must be exhausted.”

“Don’t,” Jamie pleaded, voice small and quiet and full of regret at snapping at the person he cared about most in the world. “Please, don’t go. I-.” He exhaled slowly as he rubbed his free and across his face. “I’m sorry too. You’re right, it’s your business and you were gonna tell me when you were ready to. That wasn’t fair of me.”

“Please don’t think I was hiding it from you,” Leo said, although in a few years’ time, when she looked back on all of this, she would realise that that was a lie.

“I know. I know you weren’t.”

There was a silence that fell between them, bigger than all the miles between them and filled to the brim with things unsaid but it only lasted a few beats before Jamie’s big exhale swept it away with his breath before he spoke quietly.

“He good to you?”

“Yeah, Jame. He’s a really great guy, I think you’d really like him.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Leo murmured. “When you’re back in the summer we should get drinks or something.”

“Sounds good, Leo,” Jamie said under his breath. “I should probably head to bed, I’m beat and it’s gettin’ late for you too.”

“Okay,” she replied sadly. “We’ll talk tomorrow though, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we will.”

Jamie and Leo did in fact talk the next day and the day after that, but despite the apology they’d both made and despite the fact that they had put their little spat to bed, there was far too much sitting there between them unsaid. It was like litter on the ground at a place of outstanding natural beauty, you could still admire the beauty of the trees or the mountains or the winding river, but the piles of rubbish collecting on the floor were glaring and impossible to ignore and you’d find yourself wanting to go over and pick it all up. Nobody wants to look at trash though, not when there’s still rivers and trees and mountains and so Leo and Jamie found themselves ignoring everything that now sat between them and instead kept looking at the beautiful things in their lives. They were busy enough to keep distracted, Leo more so now that she had Ben in her life and before long winter and spring were a whisper of a memory and summer announced her presence in the city with sunnier days and warmer temperatures.

 It was the first time in his life that Jamie wasn’t filled with the usual excitement at going back home, that’s not to say that he wasn’t looking forward to seeing his family, his friends and Leo, but there was something that just didn’t quite feel the same and while he knew exactly what that was, there was no point dragging it back up and flogging it some more. Leo was still with Ben and that was all there was to it. He’d seen Leo a few times since he’d come back home but she was often tied up with work, no longer benefitting from the long summers off she had when she was at college, and the free time she would’ve had before was no longer exclusively Jamie’s. He tried hard not to let himself be hurt with the change in dynamic and instead took the opportunity to spend quality time with his siblings. The idea of getting a drink with Leo and Ben wasn’t one that filled Jamie with any amount of joy, but a promise was a promise and Leo was still the most important person in his life, even if he was no longer hers and he wouldn’t ever go back on his word.

He wasn’t entirely sure what to expect but he also wanted to give himself an easy out if he felt like he needed it so he decided that he was just going to have the one beer so that he could drive himself there and home again. Whether it was subconscious or not, it took Jamie longer than usual to get ready and he wasn’t entirely sure if it was the balmy Toronto heat that had him feeling sweatier than he would’ve liked but he eventually slipped on a pair of converse to complete his shorts and t-shirt ensemble and was in the elevator down to the garage, the keys to his truck gripped tightly in his hand.

Leo was already at the cocktail bar when he arrived, perched on a barstool at a little round table. Her hair was up in a messy bun that she always managed to make look effortless and Jamie had to make a conscious effort to swallow as his eyes took in her sun-kissed skin and the strappy sundress she was wearing. He should have expected her to look gorgeous, of course, because it was Leo and she always looked so effortlessly beautiful but it didn’t make knowing that she was here with someone else and not him hurt any less. He couldn’t blame her though, not really, because for all there was so much between them now that it should’ve been obvious, he still hadn’t outright said it or even talked to her about it and that was on him and him alone. He approached the table where she was sitting alone and looked around the bar for the man he’d only ever seen photos of.

“Hey,” she called out with the smile that always made Jamie’s heart leap up into his throat. “You made it.”

“Said I would,” Jamie replied, hugging her on the barstool and pressing a gentle kiss to her hair. “You look, you look good.”

“Thanks,” grinned Leo. “So do you, very festive. Ben’s just headed to the bar, do you want anything?”

“I’ve got mine, thanks though,” Jamie half-gritted as he made his way to the bar.

He could do this, he could. It was just one drink. He could manage that, right? Because that’s what friends did, they went out for drinks together and so Jamie resolved to put on his best smile as he walked back to the table, where Ben had now situated himself next to Leo, with his beer in hand. Ben was shorter than he was, Jamie noted, and he was definitely on the slighter side but still incredibly handsome with dark brown eyes that seemed to be in a state of perpetual kindness, short and neatly maintained stubble and hair that was darker than Leo’s which he’d secured in a bun at the back of his head. He was nothing like Jamie which should have made him feel better, knowing that if this was Leo’s type then it was no wonder she didn’t see him in that way, but it didn’t, it just made everything feel that little bit worse. He gave them both a tight lipped smile, all he could manage in the moment, as he sidled onto a barstool directly opposite Leo and took an obligatory sip of his beer before offering Ben his hand.

“Jamie”

Ben shook Jamie’s outstretched hand and Jamie was sure to give him a firm and not threatening at all handshake.

“Nice to meet you man,” Ben said with an accent Jamie recognised immediately as either Australian or New Zealander and he tried not to wince at the force with which the giant man was shaking his hand with. “I’m Ben.”

“Good to meet you, Ben. Nice to see you’re taking good care of my girl.”

Jamie knew that his remark would earn him a pointed glare and he was dead right because without even looking at her he could feel Leo’s eyes were boring into the side of his head.

“Yeah,” Ben laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, she’s amazing.”

“She really is. She tell you we’ve been friends for over twenty years?”

“Yeah, I did,” Leo cut in, giving Jamie a warning look. “Ben knows all about you.”

“That’s good,” Jamie mused as he took a sip of his beer. “Yeah, Leo and I? We go way back.”

Jamie put his beer down and stretched his shoulders back, somehow managing to make himself look even broader than usual and watched Ben closely, his blue eyes piercing. Leo rolled her eyes to herself and took a large gulp of her mai tai, if Jamie was going to act like a macho teenage boy then she was going to need to be at least three drinks in for this.

“You were four, right?” Ben asked nobody in particular.

“Yup,” Jamie replied, popping the ‘p’ as he looked at Leo. “Shared my strawberries with her and everything.”

Leo gave Jamie as inconspicuous of a kick as she could manage under the table and shot him a murderous look. She didn’t quite know at what point her best friend had been possessed by the ghost of Bro-mas past or why he was acting in such an insane and ridiculous way but the man opposite her wasn’t the Jamie she knew and to be quite honest, she wasn’t sure that she liked him. Jamie paid her no mind though, his focus remained fixed on the man to Leo’s left as a cocky smirk played on his lips.

“So, Ben,” he folded his arms tight across his chest, his biceps straining against the white fabric of his t-shirt. “What do you do?”

Ben sat up straighter on his stool, whether that was to try and subconsciously match Jamie’s macho-man aura or whether it was to try and instil some confidence in himself Leo couldn’t quite tell but she kept her eyes keen on Jamie and tried to engage whatever best-friend telepathy she could to tell him to knock it off.

“I’m a veterinarian.”

Jamie gave a tight lipped smile, not because there was anything wrong with being a veterinarian, quite the opposite actually. He gave a tight lipped smile because it meant that the man sat beside the girl he loved more than anything else in this world was smart and compassionate and successful and good for her. Those three words had him feeling more inadequate than he could ever truly express and he knew in that moment that there was no point even trying anymore because Ben could give her more than he ever could, intellectually and emotionally, although it still did nothing to abate the raging jealously that was running rampant through his body.

“Leo told me you’re a pro-athlete?”

Jamie was pulled by his thoughts by Ben’s question, an interested and expectant look on his features and Jamie felt the need to take a couple of gulps of his drink before he could answer.

“Yeah, play hockey in the NHL for the Dallas Stars.”

“Not the Maple Leafs then?”

Even though Jamie knew that Ben’s question was innocent enough, he couldn’t help the scoff or the mildly withering look he sent across the table despite the fact that he could feel Leo practically fizzing with annoyance.

“No, bud. It doesn’t work like that.”

Jamie started to look around the bar, clearly done with the conversation and Leo had to fight to keep her tone even and calm.

“Ben doesn’t really know much about the draft and stuff, he’s not from here, grew up in Sydney.”

“I figured,” Jamie said, clearly disinterested. “Still, pretty bold move to live in a city like Toronto and not know about hockey.”

“He knows about hockey,” Leo shot back. “He doesn’t need to know about the draft and how it all works to know about hockey.”

“Who’s your favourite player in the league, bud?” Jamie asked Ben, ignoring Leo completely and with an air of cockiness that had her blood boiling.

“I uh, I don’t really follow it all that much,” Ben replied as he shifted uncomfortably on his barstool which put a smug little smile on Jamie’s face that he didn’t even try to hide.

“You should,” Jamie said as he brought his beer back up to his lips and took a small sip, setting it down on the table with more force than was necessary. “Ask Leo here, she knows what’s up.”

His eyes met Leo’s and instead of the temperate green waters he would usually find there he was met by a roaring flame and if looks could kill, Jamie knew he’d be dead three times over. Still, he swallowed down his pride and as much of his jealousy as he could while he changed the subject and asked Ben about Sydney and what growing up in Australia was like because while he hated every bit of this and while he wanted to walk right out of this bar and go home to mope, he knew how important this was to Leo and how much it would mean to her if Jamie got along with him. Jamie nodded along as Ben talked about his childhood and Sydney and gave a strained smile when he felt like social cues dictated it, all while sneaking glances at the watch on his wrist to see if enough time had passed for him to leave without it seeming rude. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Ben, because no matter how much he wanted to hate the guy, even Jamie couldn’t deny that Ben seemed like a good man, with good priorities and a good upbringing, it was just that he wasn’t mature enough to set his jealousy aside so that he could be a good friend to Leo. But as he saw the smile on her face at the sight of her best friend and her boyfriend somewhat getting along, he resolved to at least keep trying, if only for her.

He’d learned that Ben had taken an interest in baseball since moving to Canada and while he couldn’t understand how he’d found baseball before hockey, he still made small talk about the Blue Jays and how their season was going so far. One thing that Jamie both appreciated and found incredibly painful all at the same time was the way that Ben talked about Leo like she was the sun, the moon and the stars and even though he tried to be strong and try not to let the fact that she was here with someone else and was happy bother him, because he loved Leo and he only ever wanted good things for her and it was what she deserved, after nursing his beer for a shade over two hours, Jamie decided that he couldn’t do it anymore and stepped down off his stool, ceremoniously taking his truck keys from out of his pocket.

“Well, it’s been lovely catching up but I gotta head out, Penny has a swimming thing in the morning and I said I’d go watch.”

“Wait, you never told me Penny had a thing. You know I would’ve come along,” Leo said with her brows furrowed.

“Yeah, well I figured you’d be busy.”

“You would have known if I was busy or not if you’d bothered to ask me in the first place,” she shot back, giving Jamie a pointed look that told him she didn’t buy any of his bullshit.

Jamie shook his head, a wordless indication that he wasn’t prepared to get into it with her right now and simply said, “I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, Leo, yeah? And it was really great to meet you Ben.”

He didn’t even give either of them chance to respond because no sooner were the words out of his mouth, he’d turned on his heel and was striding towards the door.

It wasn’t too long before Leo was letting herself, and only herself, into her apartment. She hadn’t planned to spend the night here, as Ben’s place was a lot closer to the bar they’d been to, but after the little stunt Jamie pulled she felt like she needed to be alone in her own space despite Ben’s best efforts to come home with her. She poured herself a large glass of wine and went to settle herself on the balcony to enjoy the last few moments of the quickly fading light and try to calm down. As she looked out across the small park opposite her apartment and swirled the wine around her glass she thought about what had happened with Jamie and tried to pinpoint at what point it had gone wrong. She wondered if maybe Ben had said something to get Jamie’s back up but as she replayed their interaction over and over again, she kept drawing blanks and that bothered her greatly. You see, Jamie’s whole demeanour was so unbelievably out of character for him and he’d been on the offensive from the get go and Leo couldn’t for the life of her understand why he would agree to meet Ben if he had such a problem. The more she allowed herself to stew over it, the angrier she got and, perhaps against her better judgement, she found herself reaching for her phone and scrolling through her contacts until she reached Jamie’s number.

She wasn’t sure what she would achieve by pressing the call button but if there was something going on with him she was determined to get it out of him one way or another. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if he would even pick up the phone, but sure enough after fifteen seconds or so, Jamie’s voice came through the speaker, rough and raw.

“Leo, I don’t wanna-“

“What’s going on with you?” she interrupted. “You agree to come out with us and then spend the first fifteen minutes being rude, stand-offish and doing some sort of weird macho routine like you’d been possessed by Johnny Bravo and then once you were finished doing that you were disinterested and cold for the rest of the time. Oh and don’t think I didn’t see through your little ‘Penny has a thing’ bit. I wasn’t born yesterday, Jamie.”

“Penny does have a-“

“Don’t lie to me, Jamie,” she spat bitterly. “Don’t.”

“God, you want me to explain and then don’t let me finish! Jesus, Leo!”

“And I don’t want you to insult me by feeding me some bullshit line and using your sister as an excuse to leave early but you tried to anyway! If you didn’t want to hang out with me you should’ve just said.”

The hurt that dripped from Leo’s voice was like a kick in the stomach to Jamie. His heart was screaming at him to tell her everything, to tell her than he loved hanging out with her, tell her that she wasn’t the problem, that she never was, to tell her that he loved her, that he was being stupid and childish and that he couldn’t bear the thought of her with another man, not when she had his whole heart. But his head was gagging his heart, silencing it until it was nothing more than a muffled cry, muted and abstract behind thick walls and yet, despite its conquest of impassioned subjugation, his head didn’t actually have anything to say and so he sat there, floundering in silence while Leo grew more impatient at the other end of the phone.

“I thought you’d be happy for me,” and while she spoke quietly, there was a very distinct edge to her tone. “I thought that you’d want me to find someone, someone who could look out for me while you were gone and make me laugh like you do and it’s not like you’ve been sat at home alone every night, Jamie. I know you’ve been on dates and stuff and that’s good, I want you to go on dates and find someone and be happy because you’re, because you’re my friend and I want you to have someone and not feel like you’re alone. God, I was so lonely when you left, Jame and I don’t blame you for that. I’ve never blamed you because you were too good to stay. You had too much potential and you had to find your wings and you did and I am so, so proud of you. So fucking proud. I spend my life telling anyone who’ll fucking listen to me how proud I am of you. I cry myself hollow every single time you leave, it never gets any easier and from the second you leave I’m already counting down the days until you’re back, because you’re my favourite person, Jamie. You’ve always been my favourite person.”

Jamie sniffled quietly as he heard Leo’s soft cries filter through the speaker, dragging his hand through his hair in frustration because he knew she felt it too, all she had to do was say it out loud and it was so close that all she had to do was reach out to it.

“And I want you to be happy too,” Leo continued. “I want you to be so happy. Maybe we’ve been a part of each other for so long that we don’t know how to just be us on our own. Maybe we need to discover who we actually are because for our whole lives it’s been Jamie and Leo and maybe you need to learn how to just be Jamie and maybe I need to learn how to just be Leo.”

Jamie wiped at his eyes as the first of his tears began to fall and his heart shattered into a million little pieces. This is what it was like to blow it, to lose someone you loved. This is what it was like to have your whole world come crashing down because it felt like everything he ever known was shrinking into darkness and that he couldn’t breathe.

“Leo,” he pleaded but with no real words to follow up with. “Please.”

“I think,” Leo choked out as her sobs came harder as the words she never wanted to say sat high in her throat because while she was mad at him for how he’d acted earlier, he was still her Jamie and she still loved him more than anything. But sometimes people who love each other need some time apart to think and to grow and that is what had her saying, “I think we need to give each other some space.”

“No, Leo. Please. Please, babe. Don’t say that. I know I was an asshole tonight and-.”

“We need this Jamie, we do. I need this, because this, this fighting and hostility and all of this weirdness, it’s not us. It’s never been us. Please.”

Jamie sat on his couch stunned, the weight of her words echoing around him after she’d spoke them through the phone. This was everything he’d ever feared and now that it was really happening he didn’t even know how to begin to deal with that. You can hypothesise and spend your time thinking up all of these scenarios and everything you would say, how’d you deal with them, but nothing, nothing, can ever prepare you for the real thing and Jamie understood that now because it felt like his head was spinning and he couldn’t quite organise his thoughts.

“Jamie?”

Her quiet voice pulled him out from the depths of his own head and he gave a strangled ‘yeah’ in response.

“I just think we need some time,” she whispered, the tears threatening once more.

Jamie honestly didn’t know what else to say to her and the ‘okay’ he gave was so quiet and so abstract that he wasn’t even a hundred percent sure that he’d actually said it, he must have done though because the line went dead and Jamie was left sitting in the pieces of his shattered heart.

 Jamie couldn’t remember how long he’d cried for, he wasn’t even sure how many days he’d stayed locked inside his apartment before he felt strong enough to put on a brave face and eventually go outside. He knew that he only had himself to blame though, that he should’ve told her years ago that it was her and that she was it for him and now, because of his own stupidity, his own jealousy, he’d only succeeded in pushing her away and he wasn’t sure how he could fix this or if he could even fit it at all. It was a strange feeling, being in the same city as someone and yet feeling like they were a million miles away, it was even harder having to dodge questions from his family about how Leo was doing and what they’d been up to and even though he was certain that his mother could see straight through his lies, he was thankful that she could at least sense that this was something he didn’t want her to prod him about. For the first time in his professional playing career, Jamie made the decision to leave Toronto early and head back to Pittsburgh before the start of training camp, citing a desire to get a head start and get back in shape ready for the season ahead and while his parents found it all to be rather odd, Jamie did his best to assure them that everything was fine and that he’d see them the next time the Penguins played the Leafs in Toronto at Christmastime.

Leo wasn’t doing much better, despite whatever front she’d put up to try and convince herself and everybody else. She’d cried until she was nothing but a shell, figuring that the best thing to do was just to get it all out of her system so that she could look to put it all behind her and move on but stumbling every single time whenever she remembered that he’d called her ‘babe’, because that was new and she didn’t fully understand what exactly that had meant and why it made her heart leap into her throat every time she thought of the word rolling around on his tongue. To make matters worse, the day after she pushed Jamie away for some self-imposed space, Ben had stopped by her apartment, naturally concerned after she’d ignored all of his calls – not that it was anything personal, she’d been ignoring everyone.

He’d told her that he thought Jamie was in love with her and he also told her that he thought she loved Jamie too, like it was that simple and while Leo tried her best to assure him that her and Jamie were just friends, he wasn’t about to be convinced. Make no mistake, it wasn’t as if Ben was accusatory in anyway, in fact Leo would’ve preferred it if he was, because he was looking at her with far too much understanding and kindness than she was sure she deserved. She found it admirable really, how he was able to be so mature about it all and it just proved to her how childishly she had handled everything and just how blind to everything she’d been. The words Ben had left her with were ones that she’d meditate on for weeks, months even. He’d said, ‘I think you need to talk to Jamie, really talk to him. You both need to sit down and look at every single thing between you both because it’s all there, the love, the spark between you two. I’d never even met the guy before but I could just feel it between you guys as soon as you looked at each other. I saw the way he looked at you when he walked into that bar, he looked at you like you’d hung all the stars in the sky. That’s love, Leo and I know that deep down you feel that way too. If after you’ve done that you can still look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you don’t love him and that there’s nothing there then I’ll be here waiting and we can give this a shot, but I think you need to really think about what you want.’

It seemed like such a simple thing on paper, working out what she really wanted, but the reality of it all was that Leo wasn’t exactly sure what that looked like. One thing was clear though, without Jamie in her life she was miserable, but this had been her idea and she knew that it’d been one that had broken his heart and to slink back to him so soon, with her tail between her legs after knowing she’d hurt him by pushing him away, was too much for her silly little pride to handle. She told herself that she would call him, that she would reach out and apologise, but with every day that slipped by it felt like the space between them grew tenfold and something as simple as a phone call felt like it was as hard as climbing Everest.

Jamie had hoped that getting back to Dallas would take his mind off Leo, the sprawling void between them and his feelings for her, and he’d tried, he’d really honestly tried, even going so far as signing up to dating apps to try and drown her out that way, but it was useless. Leo was everywhere and nowhere all at once and Jamie felt like he was floating in outer space, surrounded by dust and emptiness when all he wanted was to feel like he was home; but as each day passed without any contact from her, the more lost Jamie felt and he was terrified that he’d never be found and that he’d be floating around in the nothingness forevermore.

 The months fell away much like the russet leaves of fall and Christmas was suddenly only a whisper away. Jamie had made preparations to stay in Toronto following the Penguins’ matinee game against the Leafs on December 23rd and would fly back into Pennsylvania the day after Christmas ready for his first game after the holiday on December 27th. He couldn’t remember a time where he’d been able to enjoy Christmas at home with his family since turning pro and even though his return to Toronto would bring him closer to Leo and while there was still a lot of uncertainty between them both given that they hadn’t actually spoken since August, he was looking forward to being able to unwind for a few days before the second push of the season began. He hadn’t told Leo that his plans would bring him back to the city but she’d figured as much when she’d discovered that the last game the Leafs would play before Christmas would be against Pittsburgh and she knew he would be staying once she realised Pittsburgh’s next game wasn’t for another few days.

She knew that she should reach out while he was home, not only because it was the right thing to do, but also because she hadn’t actually told her parents that she’d not spoken a word to him in the last four months and it would look incredibly weird if she didn’t see him at least once while he was back in town. There were a number of reasons why she’d not said anything about the spat that she’d had with Jamie, the main one being because it would open a whole can of worms that she absolutely did not want opening, it would open her up to questions from her parents and they were questions that she didn’t want to face and didn’t really have answers for. The reason she didn’t have answers to those questions was because while she’d finally accepted that Jamie wasn’t just a friend, she also knew that she’d blown any real chance with him because of the way she’d acted so it was far easier to maintain that air of indifference and pretend like there was nothing there so that she didn’t have to deal with the reality that she’d ruined everything with her own stupidity.

She’d toyed with the idea of sending him a quick text message to check in, but after everything they’d been through it seemed a little bit impersonal, although it didn’t have her picking up the phone either. She’d wondered if Jamie would even want to see her while he was home for those few days over the holidays, after all, for all she’d been the one to impose their time apart, he hadn’t exactly reached out to her. What did she expect though? She knew deep down Jamie was always going to respect her wishes, even if they broke his heart, but it was easier to ignore that and instead fester in her own misery.

The decision on whether or not to see Jamie was made for her though, with her mother telling her that the Oleksiaks thought it would be nice for them all to get together before Christmas and that arrangements had been made for them to all attend the game followed by dinner at The Butcher Chef. Leo couldn’t help but be a little bit surprised at this, considering how awful she’d been to Jamie and she was shocked that his family would want to spend more than a second with her, which could only lead her to believe that Jamie had deployed the same tactic of silence with his parents as she had done with her own. It should have been funny, how similar they were, but it was that similarity that had dropped them into this mess in the first place. If only one of them had been mature enough to look at all that there was between them and take that leap of faith, perhaps she’d be overjoyed at the prospect of seeing Jamie instead of that sickening anxious feeling that knotted her stomach. It was ironic, she thought, how Jamie had always thought of her as being brave because right now, as she looked back on her behaviour and how she’d handled it all, she’d been anything but.

Leo was more than a little relieved to discover that they’d be meeting the Oleksiaks inside of Scotiabank Area because it meant that Jamie wouldn’t be with them and she could at least catch up with Richard, Alison, Hayley and Penny without any massive amounts of awkwardness. She could play off her recent and sudden distance on work being crazy and hopefully, just hopefully, by the end of the game she’d be feeling relaxed enough that seeing Jamie wouldn’t be the big deal she’d made it out to be in her head. As she took her seat in the stands she found herself sandwiched between her mother and Penny, the youngest Oleksiak. Leo had always loved Jamie’s sisters, especially Penny, seeing a lot of herself in the younger girl and they’d always been partners in crime when it came to winding Jamie up. They’d talked about Penny’s swimming and how she’d been and the thundering in Leo’s chest had begun to settle somewhat until Penny had mentioned how down Jamie had seemed the last time they’d talked and that she hoped Leo could give him one of her world-famous pep talks to snap him out of his funk. If Penny had felt Leo stiffen beside her at that, she mercifully didn’t say anything and continued to watch the game. Leo couldn’t focus though, not when the guilt had suddenly jumped up from where she’d shoved it deep down into her stomach and now felt like it had lodged itself within her windpipe. She had taken to focusing on the game clock, counting along with the numbers until she could push through the tightening in her chest and set her features into something that was a bit more neutral instead of the tight-lipped grimace she was wearing. Leo was thankful that the game on the ice was end-to-end because no one had seemed to notice the turmoil she found herself in and no questions were asked.

Leo declined the invitation from Alison and Richard to go down with them to wait for Jamie to come out of the locker room, simply stating that she would keep her parents company and wait with them upstairs and was relieved when they didn’t press the issue or make insistences. It was around forty minutes later when she saw the tall figure of Jamie’s dad appear in the foyer, Alison and the girls close behind with Jamie bringing up the rear. It was like one of those cliché romance movie moments, where two people find each other’s eyes across a crowded room and it feels like the whole world stops spinning, except most of the people had filtered out of the stadium by now and the space between them felt so vast that it would take lightyears to cross.

He was cautious, Leo noticed, but his eyes were just as soft as they’d always been as they took her in. She looked good, Jamie thought, but there was a sadness in her smile and the spark he’d always associated with her was barely there. He wanted so desperately to pull her tight against his chest and tell her that he was sorry over and over again until he was sure that she believed him, but this wasn’t the time nor the place so he settled for an awkward wave and a ‘hey’ that sounded too nervous and too hesitant to be greeting an old friend with, instantly regretting it when he saw the tight-lipped smile and too formal ‘hello’ that she gave in reply. Their parents exchanged a serious of glances that ranged from confusion to concern but much to Leo and Jamie’s reprieve, Alison simply clapped her hands together and remarked how lovely it was that everyone was back together again. Leo made sure to stick close to her parents during the short walk to the restaurant because while she wasn’t certain that Jamie would try to address the weirdness between them and while she also knew that it was a conversation that they absolutely needed to have, she wasn’t sure that a five minute walk within earshot of their families was the best time.

An awkward exchange at the door to the restaurant, where the two of them spent a good twenty seconds inviting each other to go in ahead, earned the pair strange looks from their parents and Penny had uttered ‘weirdos’ as she side-eyed them while they were all escorted to their table. The fact that they’d purposefully chosen seats as far away from each other as possible raised their fathers’ eyebrows while Alison and Diana shared a worried glance. Penny was giving her brother a pointed look from behind her menu before flicking her gaze across to Leo, who was studying the wine list as if it were written in hieroglyphics, and back to Jamie, who could only respond with a pleading look and a shake of his head. When the order was taken Jamie couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the prawn, avocado and chilli bruschetta Leo had picked for her appetizer. For as long as he’d known her they’d been united in their mutual hatred of the green pitted fruit and despite the fact that it was entirely plausible that her taste-buds had changed in the four months since they’d last spoken and despite it being something so incredibly small, and so incredibly innocuous, he couldn’t help but feel further away from her than ever before. The feeling only grew as he listened to her talk to his mother about what she’d been up to in her spare time, not even knowing that she’d taken up watercolour painting and had been to a belly-dancing taster class that she’d thoroughly enjoyed and was considering signing up to. It might have only been four months apart, but it might as well have been an entire lifetime that had passed and the ache in his chest made it impossible to focus on anything else other than the overwhelming sadness he felt at the recognition that everything had changed between them and that things would never be the same again.

The pair soldiered on through dinner, seeming to talk to everyone else but each other and while there was the occasional shared glance, it never lasted for any longer than a couple of seconds before one of them looked away and carried on like it had never even happened. It was all getting a bit much for Jamie, with the way that it felt like he was losing her with each second that passed and the way it felt like she was at the other side of the world and not at the other side of a table. He wanted to scream into that void, scream that this was all stupid, that he was sorry and that he missed her so much that he felt like he was going to die, but he didn’t. Instead he’d told Bill all about Pittsburgh and the season so far and made small talk about what kind of vehicle he should buy next. Leo found herself getting agitated at how forced it all felt, how uncomfortable she was and all she wanted was for dessert to be over so they could split the bill and say their goodbyes so that she could lock herself in her apartment and drown her despair in a bottle of wine. It killed her that the man she’d known from being a little boy, a man who knew her better than anyone else in the world, felt like a complete stranger, but above that, it killed her that this had been all of her own making. There was so much she should have done differently and even more that she should have said, but instead her own stupidity and stubbornness had pushed away the one thing in her life she wanted the most and she’d convinced herself that Jamie had only agreed to this and sorted tickets for the game tonight because he knew it would make his mother happy. That thought forced Leo to swallow down the emotion that sat high in her throat because it was just another reminder of every BBQ and every party the two families had ever shared together and how it all felt that little bit different now. Not only had she ruined things between her and Jamie, but she’d also managed to ruin things for everyone else too.

Not a moment too soon for Leo, the two families were paying the check and found themselves outside in the chilly evening air. Leo let herself be passed down the line of Oleksiaks for a goodbye hug, chastising herself each time for how stiff was but still not able to let herself relax despite the awareness, until she was confronted with Jamie’s large frame. She couldn’t not hug him with how it felt like all eyes were on them both and so she allowed herself to be pulled awkwardly into his body while her own was filled with tension that she was sure everyone could see but couldn’t help all the same.

“Goodnight,” Jamie mumbled. “Have a good Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Leo replied, voice robotic and distant as she pulled away a little too quickly. “You too.”

An awkward silence descended upon the group that had Jamie shifting uncomfortably and Leo drawing her coat tighter around her for reasons unrelated to the cold Toronto air. Leo could tell her mother was desperate to say something and she was praying to anyone who was listening that this would be one of those things that Diana would let slide without pressing further. Someone somewhere must have heard her silent pleas though because her mother said her goodbyes once more and wished Jamie a safe trip back to Pittsburgh before the trio headed back towards the car. Nobody spoke for a few beats as they settled into their seats and put on their belts but Leo knew that the barrage of incoming questions was imminent judging by the look in her father’s eye as she caught his gaze in the rearview mirror.

“Wanna tell us what that was all about?”

“It’s nothing,” Leo mumbled as she adjusted her coat.

“Honey, that was about as far from nothing as you could get,” her mother replied as she turned in her seat to look at Leo. “I coulda cut the atmosphere between you two back there with a knife.”

“Honestly, mom, it’s nothing and I’d really rather not discuss it right-“

“Not an option,” her father cut in, a stern edge to his tone. “I’m pulling rank and I’m playing the ‘dad’ card here. What happened back there was painful to watch and it made dinner incredibly awkward so I’ll ask you again, what happened between you two?”

Leo exhaled into the darkness of the car as the city lights passed by outside, unsure where to even begin. She decided to lead with the obvious and hoped that the rest would follow.

“We fought,” she said matter-of-factly. “We had a stupid argument and we haven’t spoken since August.”

“Oh, Leonora,” her mother sighed. “What could the two of you have possibly fought over that stopped you from talking for four months?”

“Remember when I was dating Ben?”

Diana hummed in acknowledgment.

“Well, that night that Ben and I went out for drinks, the night before we broke up, we met up with Jamie and he was… he was kind of an asshole to Ben.”

Bill chuckled softly at that, a million miles away from the harshness of his tone not a few moments ago and shook his head which earned him a glare from Leo into the rearview mirror.

“Oh come on,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re a bright girl, Leo. You must have realised that he was acting out of jealousy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dad. Why the hell would Jamie be jealous of Ben?”

“For someone who is so incredibly smart you really are oblivious,” her mother replied with an exasperated sigh. “That boy is head over heels for you. Has been for years.”

“What? Don’t be insane!” Leo scoffed as she rolled her eyes. “Jamie and I are-“

“Just friends,” Bill interrupted. “Sure ya are.”

“We are.”

Leo crossed her arms over her chest, not caring that it made her look like she’d regressed back into her teenage years, especially with the frustrated pout that had formed on her lips. Her father sighed in mild frustration, too full of food to have much patience for his daughter’s stubbornness.

“You’re just too stubborn to see anythin’ else. Talk some sense into her, Di, would ya?”

Diana surveyed Leo with a soft expression, perceptive enough to know that her daughter was struggling with some inner tumult but was too bull-headed to verbalise it and too proud to ask for help.

“Nora Noo,” she said softly to get Leo’s eyes on hers. “You must know by now that Jamie loves you,” Leo went to speak but Diana anticipated her protests and cut her off gently. “And not just as a friend. He loves you and I’d hazard a guess that you love him too.”

“He doesn’t love me, mom. We didn’t speak for four months.”

“And was that his idea?”

Leo looked away and her silence told her mother all she needed to know.

“I didn’t think so. Sounds to me like he was just giving you the space you asked for.”

“Why would you assume it was me who asked for space? I never said that,” Leo protested.

“You didn’t have to,” Diana countered, her eyes keen on Leo. “I know you well enough to know that you were clearly struggling with all these feelings that you didn’t know what to do with, you were mad at him and the easiest thing for you to do was push him away and because Jamie loves you so much, he respected your wishes, even though he’s quite clearly been struggling too.”

Leo didn’t have an answer to that because she knew that any words that came out of her mouth would’ve been a lie. Her mother had hit the nail on the head and she knew it too because while her eyes were still soft on Leo, there was the hint of a smirk on her lips and she knew she had her daughter stumped. She decided not to push the issue anymore though and shifted in her seat to face forwards again, leaving Leo sat in the back of the car, brows knitted together and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. She didn’t speak another word until they pulled up outside of her apartment building and even then all she could manage was a subdued goodbye followed up with ‘see you both tomorrow.’

If Leo could’ve been a fly on the wall in the Oleksiaks’ car, she’d have laughed at the fact that Jamie was being subjected to a similar, if not identical, lecture from his parents as the one she’d received. They’d get a good kick out of the absurdity of it all later on when the dust had settled, but Jamie didn’t know that yet and his face was currently drawn in pensive thought while he mulled over his mother’s words that had scarily echoed Diana’s to Leo in their sentiments. He knew she was right, about all of it and the more he thought about it, the more he began to understand that this might be the only chance he had to make things right before Leo slipped away from him for good. It was that realization and that overwhelming fear of losing the one thing in his life he was sure of that had him asking his father to turn the car around and to take him to Leo’s apartment.

 The warm glow of the Christmas lights in Leo’s apartment would have ordinarily brought a smile to her face but she was too weary to fall for their charms tonight and it was the kind of weariness that she was sure couldn’t be fixed with sleep. Seeing Jamie tonight had made everything exponentially harder and only served as a painful and bitter reminder of just how bad she’d let things get between them. She should’ve reached out, she should’ve stared down everything that was right in front of her but she was too afraid to see and she should have said everything that she knew to be true in her heart and that Jamie deserved to hear. She wiped the makeup off her face angrily as she tried to supress a sniffle, a too-big Huskies sweatshirt that had belonged to Jamie hanging off her frame that served as a symbol of her wilful suffering. She knew that it wasn’t the best idea to try and numb the pain with a bottle of wine, but she didn’t know what else to do in the moment and so she collected the bottle of medicinal Riesling from the fridge, grabbed herself the biggest wine glass she owned and took them into her living room.

She was just about to bring the glass up to her lips when a loud and urgent knock at her door made her jump right out of her skin. She debated ignoring it but it became so insistent and unrelenting that she was worried the noise would disturb her neighbours and so she begrudgingly set her glass down before dragging her body from the couch and to the door. On the other side of it was a frantic looking Jamie, chest heaving from presumably taking the stairs and a slightly wild look in the usually calm ocean of his eyes.

“Can I come in?” he asked, a hint of nervousness in his otherwise resolute delivery.

“You know you can,” Leo breathed as she moved out of the way to let him in, closing the door behind him and leaning against it as she watched him carefully.

The silence stretched between them, Leo waiting nervously for Jamie to speak while he took a few settling breaths. He knew that he had to get this right because he felt like one wrong word would lose him everything. It was the same reason why Leo maintained a tentative reticence.

A moment.

That was all it would take.

One moment that sat like a void and one moment that could change everything, whichever way it went. This was such a moment, so big that it felt like entire galaxies could fit inside of it and still leave room for more. He waited for her to speak for what felt like forever while she stood on a knife edge, knowing that whatever words come out of her mouth next would rearrange both of their lives in ways that they understood would make it impossible to return to how things were not even ten minutes ago, not that either of them wanted to go back to that.

Yes, it was moment that was terrifying in every conceivable way.

But it was theirs.

“What happened to us?” Jamie wondered aloud, breaking the deafening silence. “How the hell did we get to this?”

“You were the one who was an ass, Jamie, not me,” Leo shot back, perhaps angrier than was necessary given the fact that Jamie’s question wasn’t delivered accusingly. “I know I should’ve told you about Ben and I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings by not saying anything sooner but that toxic masculinity bullshit at the bar? Really?”

“You don’t fucking see it, do you?” Jamie laughed humourlessly, Leo’s tone causing a flicker of anger within his chest. “Even now, when I’m here right in front of you, you’re still too stubborn to see it or maybe you do see it but you just don’t have the balls to tell me that you don’t feel the same way.”

“Don’t you dare make assumptions about how I feel,” Leo snapped, the tears springing to her eyes in an instant. “Don’t you dare. You have no idea what these past four months-“

“Of course I do!” Jamie spat. “I’ve been living it every single day since you told me you needed space! I wake up and it hurts, I go to bed and it still fucking hurts. I felt like I was dying every single day. You wanted this and it fucking broke my heart, Leo, it broke my heart but I did it anyway because you asked me to and I would do anything for you, anything in the whole world and yet you couldn’t even be honest with yourself and see what was right in front of you.”

Leo’s heart splintered and cracked at the agony etched into Jamie’s features, agony that she knew she’d caused and she couldn’t stop the tears from breaking the dam she was precariously keeping them behind and surging forward as Jamie’s own silent tears slipped out onto his cheeks.

“All I wanted was for you to love me like I love you, Leo. That was it.”

Jamie’s broken voice pulled the sob from her lungs but even though it felt like she couldn’t breathe and even though she knew she’d made such a mess of things, she still managed to catch those three words and hang onto them like they were a life line that would keep her from drifting away into outer space. They were also the words that had her legs carrying her towards him, closing the distance and pushing everything that separated them to the side until she was pressed tightly against his chest with her arms tight around him.

“I do, Jamie,” she cried. “I do love you. I love you more than anything else in this world and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that I pushed you away, that I ignored everything for so long. You’re my person, Jame, you always have been, ever since we were kids, long before I even understood what love was. Fuck, I’m so sorry, Jame.”

Jamie held her tightly within his arms, frightened that she might float away if he didn’t keep her steadfast against him and buried his face into her hair, his own quiet tears falling into the umber strands as he shushed her gently to quieten her cries.

“I’m sorry too, babe. I should have told you, I should have said something, I just didn’t know what to say and I was so scared that I’d lose you and then when I found out you were dating, I just, I hated the idea of you with anyone else and I know that was wrong and I know that I should’ve just told you how I was feeling but the thought of you not feeling the same way, God, it killed me.”

Leo lifted her head, the wet jungle of her eyes shining like the Amazon meeting the lagoon of his as her hand reached up to caress his strong jaw and Jamie nuzzled into the touch before he pressed a soft kiss to her palm, everything else melting away until it was just the feeling of her skin and the gentle press of her body against his.

“There’s no one else like you Jamieson Oleksiak,” she murmured softly as her thumb swept gently across his cheek. “No one.”

“I love you, Leo,” Jamie whispered, his eyes shining with tears before he slowly dipped his head down to bring his lips to hers and captured them in a tender kiss, their first kiss.

She melted into him instantly, her hands moving to the back of his neck while his found the backs of her thighs to lift her up and wrap her legs around his waist. He kissed her like he was suffocating and she was his oxygen, kissed her for every time he should’ve told her that he loved her and kissed her for every day that he should have already been kissing her and for everything Jamie was giving her, Leo gave it back tenfold. Their mouths moved together in a complete unity which betrayed the fact that they hadn’t already been doing this for years, each knowing what the other needed with each pass of their tongues and every pause for breath.

Leo’s fingers tangled themselves into Jamie’s short curls and the gentle tug she gave them earned her a deep groan and a flex of his palms against her thighs. It was instinctive, really, to carry her into her bedroom and though Leo should’ve felt anxious about sharing that final part of herself with Jamie, it felt like the most natural thing in the world for her to do. He removed her clothes carefully, almost dutifully, exalting her skin with his mouth like her body was a temple and every kiss was a holy offering. He learned her body like lyrics from his favourite song and remembered every sigh and every flex of her fingers against his skin whenever he did something that she liked until he was confident that he would be able recite it word for word if she asked him to. He’d never felt more at home than he did between her thighs with her arms wrapped around the broad expanse of his back and with every breath and every moan shared between them both, he knew with complete certainty that she was it for him and while he didn’t know the exact details of what their life together would look like, he also knew that it didn’t really matter as long as he had her.

They moved together between the sheets as sure and as steady as the falling snow outside, in their own world where nothing and no one could touch them and all that mattered was what they were giving to each other in that moment. Leo carved her name into Jamie’s skin as her nails raked across his shoulders, a wordless encouragement for more of him. She was cradled within his arms, safe and warm and home while his lips brushed along her jaw, whispers of love murmured into her skin with every breath he took. He quickened his pace as he sensed the wave begin to grow inside of her, swallowing her moans with a kiss when the wave finally broke against the shore and she tumbled over the edge. He stayed with her as she rode the crest of her orgasm, working her through it while he chased his own high.

“Fuck, Leo. I’m so close, babe,” he gritted, hips driving into hers.

“Let go, Jame…”

He kissed her roughly as his hips faltered, spilling inside of her with a low groan and shallow thrusts until he was spent. Leo’s lips brushed along his jaw, pressing kisses along the sharp angle of his face and against the shell of his ear.

“I love you so much,” she whispered, Jamie smiling against her neck before pulling out and rolling onto his back, nestling her into his side until she settled with her head against his chest and her arm draped over his stomach. He dropped his lips to press a kiss against her forehead, gentle and chaste and full of all the love her had for her while Leo’s fingers traced along his ribs, leaving a ripple of goose bumps in their wake.

They laid in silence for a while, limbs tangled in the sheets while the snow fell silently outside. It was a peace that reflected the one they both felt within their souls and Leo wasn’t sure she ever wanted to leave the solace and serenity of their cocoon, the steady thump of Jamie’s heart and the gentle rise and fall of his chest had her in a trance-like state and it was Jamie’s soft chuckle that pulled her back to the present.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly into her hair.

“Yeah.” She shifted and propped herself up on her elbow so that she was looking at Jamie, smiling at the peaceful expression she found resting on his features. “Just happy.”

He reached out to cup the back of her head and pulled her in to place three gentle pecks to her lips, smiling against her mouth before he pulled away to look into her eyes and tuck the loose strands of her hair back.

“Good,” he grinned. “Because this would be really fuckin’ awkward if you weren’t.”

Leo laughed at that, free and easy and Jamie felt like he could fly with the way her head was thrown back and her eyes had crinkled with her bright smile.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Yeah, it really would.”

She looked at him for a breath, the smile still playing on her lips before she moved her eyes to the tattoo at his ribs and traced the lines of it lightly with her fingertips. She knew that this was good and right and everything she’d ever wanted for so long and she knew that it would take a while before she could truly forgive herself for everything she’d put Jamie through, but the rhythmic stroking of Jamie’s fingers against her lower back kept her grounded in this moment with him before her mind could take off running while she focused on the black lines of ink on his skin.

“I um wasn’t completely honest with you about that tattoo,” Jamie mumbled.

“What about?”

“When you asked if I’d got it for you.”

Leo shook her head gently. “I was only teasing, Jame.”

“Yeah, I know,” he acknowledged. “But it really always was for you, at least in some part.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Remember that I told you that it represented bravery and courage?” He asked, Leo nodding in response. “Well those were things that I learned from you. You taught me what it meant to be brave, what it meant to live fearlessly and to be brave and chase my dreams. That lion is you Leo and you’ve been with me. You’ve been with me this whole time.”

Leo didn’t quite know what to say to that because while she’d always quietly and selfishly imagined that it was for her, having it confirmed by Jamie was an entirely different ball game and it was a little overwhelming but in the best possible way. She instead curled herself back into his side and rested her head against his strong chest, her arm draping heavily around him. Jamie wrapped her tight in his arms, nuzzling his nose into her hair and pressing soft kisses to the crown of her head while he breathed her in, all pineapple and coconut and Leo.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked quietly.

“You know you can.”

“What was with the avocado tonight?”

Jamie was slightly taken aback by the gentle laugh Leo let out against his chest but didn’t move from where his nose was nestled amongst the wild waves on top of her head.

“I don’t know, honestly,” Leo admitted, her lips quirking into a small smile against Jamie’s skin. “Guess I just wanted to try it to see if I still hated it.”

“And I’m guessing by the fact you left half of it on your plate-“

“Still disgusting,” Leo interjected with a laugh which Jamie matched in earnest before pressing another kiss into her hair while she went quiet again once more.

She closed her eyes and let the steady thud of Jamie’s heartbeat quiet her mind that had taken itself off to the races and was trying to work out how this would all work and where that would leave them when Jamie had to go back to Pittsburgh in a couple of days. Jamie sensed her though, so in tune with her and her body and her mind to pick up on the subtle little cues that told him she was going down the rabbit hole, so he called her back to him with a gentle whisper of her name.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“I just,” she sighed quietly. “I just don’t know how this looks for us, Jame. I just got you and now it feels like I’m gonna lose you all over again. It’s different this time, you leaving and I know it’s gonna-.” She trailed off, sniffling slightly as the pain of Jamie leaving town washed over her and filled her eyes with fresh tears.

“Hey, hey”, Jamie soothed, tucking his fingers under her chin and tilting her head up to get her eyes on his. “It’s okay, babe. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out, okay? Pittsburgh isn’t far away and you can come and stay whenever you want. We’ll get through the rest of this season and then when I’m home in the summer we can work out all the details, yeah?”

Leo saw the intensity and the certainty in Jamie’s eyes and she saw the truth in them, their truth and Leo knew that whatever happened, Jamie would make sure that they were okay, so she nodded her head slowly and buried her face against the crook of his neck.

“We’re gonna be fine, baby,” he murmured into her hair. “Let’s not worry about that right now, yeah? Let’s just focus on this moment.”

He pressed a sequence of kisses to the top of her head and settled her comfortably against him, drawing little circles with his fingertips at her hips until he felt her body go heavy as she slipped into sleep.

Jamie laid there, his eyes drifting to the window where the snow was still falling heavily outside and smiled to himself despite the fact that he knew Leo was right. He didn’t know how this would look for them either and he didn’t know what the future had in store for him, he didn’t even know if he was going to be in Pittsburgh next year and God only knows where he would end up. But none of that really mattered, not really, because when he looked at Leo fast asleep in his arms, the woman who was his whole world and always had been, he knew that wherever he went, wherever his path would lead him, he would always have a home in her heart and now that he knew that he had a home in hers too, everything else was just confetti.

Love isn’t always fireworks. It’s not always loud or in your face or even a moment where you lock eyes with a stranger across the room and fall head over heels at first sight. Sometimes love is quiet. Sometimes love grows slowly like an oak tree, starting out as a tiny acorn before springing tiny shoots and leaves and while it might not look like much at first, the roots grow deep and strong and nurture the sapling until it becomes something big and beautiful. It happens so slowly over time that it can be difficult to notice it happening at all, but it grows all the same, bigger and bigger until it’s mighty and proud and impossible to ignore. The tree is strong, unmoveable, enduring and weathers whatever storm comes its way because it’s had the time and the devotion to mature into something truly remarkable. That is the kind of love that many only ever get to dream of and Jamie and Leo would be thankful every second of every day that they were lucky enough to find that in each other because even though we live in a universe of infinite possibilities, there are some things in life that just make sense and when it’s good and it’s right, it will always find a way.

[tkmedia]

NHL Expansion Draft 2021: Full list of players available for Seattle Kraken

The NHL announced the protected lists for the 30 teams involved in the NHL Expansion Draft. (Vegas is exempt.) With the names of those protected come the guys who could be snatched up by the Seattle Kraken. There are a number of big names that have everyone trying to figure out just what general manager Ron Francis will do. Will he take Canadiens netminder, and future Hall of Famer, Carey Price and his hefty cap hit? Is Vladimir Tarasenko the sniper he needs or is his health a big question mark? There's also a number of guys who would fit in nicely but are free agents and the chances of signing them are not high (i.e. Alex Ovechkin).  EXPANSION DRAFT: Date, time, rules & more for Seattle Kraken team selectionRegardless of what Francis, coach Dave Hakstrol and Co. end up doing, there's a good chance the Kraken will be a playoff contender in just their first season. For now, let the intrigue and the guessing WWRFD (that's: what will Ron Francis do?) begin. Here's a look at every player they can pick.

List of players made available by all 30 NHL teams

Anaheim DucksAndrew Agozzino (F) David Backes (F) Sam Carrick (F) Chase De Leo (F) Ryan Getzlaf (F) Derek Grant (F) Danton Heinen (F) Adam Henrique (F) Vinni Lettieri (F) Sonny Milano (F) Andrew Poturalski (F) Carter Rowney (F) Nick Sorensen (F) Alexander Volkov (F) Trevor Carrick (D) Haydn Fleury (D) Brendan Guhle (D) Jacob Larsson (D) Josh Mahura (D) Kevin Shattenkirk (D) Andy Welinski (D) Ryan Miller (G) Anthony Stolarz (G)Arizona CoyotesDerick Brassard (F) Michael Bunting (F) Brayden Burke (F) Michael Chaput (F) Hudson Fasching (F) Christian Fischer (F) Frederik Gauthier (F) John Hayden (F) Dryden Hunt (F) Andrew Ladd (F) Lane Pederson (F) Tyler Pitlick (F) Blake Speers (F) Tyler Steenbergen (F) Jason Demers (D) Cam Dineen (D) Alex Goligoski (D) Jordan Gross (D) Niklas Hjalmarsson (D) Ilya Lyubushkin (D) Dysin Mayo (D) Aaron Ness (D) Jordan Oesterle (D) Vili Saarijarvi (D) Josef Korenar (G) Marek Langhamer (G) Antti Raanta (G)Boston BruinsAnton Blidh (F) Paul Carey (F) Peter Cehlarik (F) Jakob Forsbacka Karlsson (F) Taylor Hall (F) Cameron Hughes (F) Ondrej Kase (F) Alex Khokhlachev (F) Joona Koppanen (F) David Krejci (F) Karson Kuhlman (F) Sean Kuraly (F) Curtis Lazar (F) Greg McKegg (F) Nick Ritchie (F) Zach Senyshyn (F) Chris Wagner (F) Linus Arnesson (D) Connor Clifton (D) Steven Kampfer (D) Jeremy Lauzon (D) Kevan Miller (D) John Moore (D) Mike Reilly (D) Jarred Tinordi (D) Jakub Zboril (D) Callum Booth (G) Jaroslav Halak (G) Tuukka Rask (G)Buffalo SabresDrake Caggiula (F) Jean-Sebastien Dea (F) Cody Eakin (F) Steven Fogarty (F) Zemgus Girgensons (F) Andrew Oglevie (F) Kyle Okposo (F) Tobias Rieder (F) Riley Sheahan (F) Jeff Skinner (F) C.J. Smith (F) Will Borgen (D) Brandon Davidson (D) Matt Irwin (D) Jake McCabe (D) Colin Miller (D) Casey Nelson (D) Michael Houser (G) Carter Hutton (G) Dustin Tokarski (G)Calgary FlamesByron Froese (F) Glenn Gawdin (F) Justin Kirkland (F) Josh Leivo (F) Milan Lucic (F) Joakim Nordstrom (F) Matthew Phillips (F) Zac Rinaldo (F) Brett Ritchie (F) Buddy Robinson (F) Derek Ryan (F) Dominik Simon (F) Mark Giordano (D) Oliver Kylington (D) Nikita Nesterov (D) Alexander Petrovic (D) Michael Stone (D) Louis Domingue (G) Tyler Parsons (G)Carolina HurricanesMorgan Geekie (F) Steven Lorentz (F) Jordan Martinook (F) Max McCormick (F) Brock McGinn (F) Nino Niederreiter (F) Cedric Paquette (F) Sheldon Rempal (F) Drew Shore (F) Spencer Smallman (F) Jake Bean (D) Jake Gardiner (D) Eric Gelinas (D) Jani Hakanpaa (D) Dougie Hamilton (D) Maxime Lajoie (D) Roland McKeown (D) Joakim Ryan (D) David Warsofsky (D) Antoine Bibeau (G) Jeremy Helvig (G) Petr Mrazek (G) James Reimer (G) Dylan Wells (G)Chicago BlackhawksRyan Carpenter (F) Brett Connolly (F) Josh Dickinson (F) Adam Gaudette (F) Vinnie Hinostroza (F) Brandon Pirri (F) John Quenneville (F) Zack Smith (F) Calvin de Haan (D) Anton Lindholm (D) Nikita Zadorov (D) Collin Delia (G) Malcolm Subban (G)Colorado AvalancheTravis Barron (F) Pierre-Edouard Bellemare (F) Matt Calvert (F) J.T. Compher (F) Joonas Donskoi (F) Sheldon Dries (F) Vladislav Kamenev (F) Gabriel Landeskog (F) Ty Lewis (F) Jayson Megna (F) Liam O'Brien (F) Brandon Saad (F) Miikka Salomaki (F) Kiefer Sherwood (F) Carl Soderberg (F) T.J. Tynan (F) Mike Vecchione (F) Kyle Burroughs (D) Dennis Gilbert (D) Erik Johnson (D) Jacob MacDonald (D) Patrik Nemeth (D) Dan Renouf (D) Devan Dubnyk (G) Jonas Johansson (G) Hunter Miska (G)Columbus Blue JacketsZac Dalpe (F) Max Domi (F) Nathan Gerbe (F) Mikhail Grigorenko (F) Ryan MacInnis (F) Stefan Matteau (F) Cliff Pu (F) Kole Sherwood (F) Kevin Stenlund (F) Calvin Thurkauf (F) Daniel Zaar (F) Gavin Bayreuther (D) Gabriel Carlsson (D) Adam Clendening (D) Michael Del Zotto (D) Scott Harrington (D) Dean Kukan (D) Cameron Johnson (G)Dallas StarsNick Caamano (F) Andrew Cogliano (F) Blake Comeau (F) Justin Dowling (F) Tanner Kero (F) Joel L'Esperance (F) Adam Mascherin (F) Matej Stransky (F) Taylor Fedun (D) Ben Gleason (D) Joel Hanley (D) Niklas Hansson (D) Julius Honka (D) Jamie Oleksiak (D) Mark Pysyk (D) Andrej Sekera (D) Sami Vatanen (D) Ben Bishop (G) Landon Bow (G) Colton Point (G)Detroit Red WingsRiley Barber (F) Kyle Criscuolo (F) Turner Elson (F) Valtteri Filppula (F) Sam Gagner (F) Luke Glendening (F) Darren Helm (F) Taro Hirose (F) Vladislav Namestnikov (F) Frans Nielsen (F) Bobby Ryan (F) Evgeny Svechnikov (F) Dominic Turgeon (F) Hayden Verbeek (F) Alex Biega (D) Dennis Cholowski (D) Danny DeKeyser (D) Christian Djoos (D) Joe Hicketts (D) Dylan McIlrath (D) Marc Staal (D) Troy Stecher (D) Jonathan Bernier (G) Kevin Boyle (G) Kaden Fulcher (G) Calvin Pickard (G)EXPANSION DRAFT: Full list of players protected by all 30 teamsEdmonton OilersTyler Benson (F) Alex Chiasson (F) Adam Cracknell (F) Tyler Ennis (F) Joseph Gambardella (F) Seth Griffith (F) Dominik Kahun (F) Jujhar Khaira (F) Cooper Marody (F) James Neal (F) Alan Quine (F) Patrick Russell (F) Devin Shore (F) Anton Slepyshev (F) Kyle Turris (F) Bogdan Yakimov (F) Tyson Barrie (D) Oscar Klefbom (D) Slater Koekkoek (D) Dmitry Kulikov (D) William Lagesson (D) Adam Larsson (D) Kris Russell (D) Mikko Koskinen (G) Mike Smith (G) Alex Stalock (G)DUNCAN KEITH: Oilers add three-time Stanley Cup championFlorida PanthersNoel Acciari (F) Patrick Bajkov (F) Juho Lammikko (F) Ryan Lomberg (F) Brad Morrison (F) Aleksi Saarela (F) Frank Vatrano (F) Lucas Wallmark (F) Alex Wennberg (F) Scott Wilson (F) Lucas Carlsson (D) Kevin Connauton (D) Tommy Cross (D) Radko Gudas (D) Noah Juulsen (D) Brady Keeper (D) Brandon Montour (D) Markus Nutivaara (D) Ethan Prow (D) Anton Stralman (D) Philippe Desrosiers (G) Chris Driedger (G) Sam Montembeault (G)Los Angeles KingsAndreas Athanasiou (F) Michael Eyssimont (F) Martin Frk (F) Carl Grundstrom (F) Bokondji Imama (F) Brendan Lemieux (F) Blake Lizotte (F) Matt Luff (F) Drake Rymsha (F) Austin Wagner (F) Mark Alt (D) Daniel Brickley (D) Kale Clague (D) Olli Maatta (D) Kurtis MacDermid (D) Jacob Moverare (D) Austin Strand (D) Christian Wolanin (D) Troy Grosenick (G) Jonathan Quick (G)Minnesota WildWilliam Bitten (F) Nick Bjugstad (F) Nick Bonino (F) Joseph Cramarossa (F) Gabriel Dumont (F) Marcus Johansson (F) Luke Johnson (F) Victor Rask (F) Kyle Rau (F) Mason Shaw (F) Dmitry Sokolov (F) Matt Bartkowski (D) Louie Belpedio (D) Ian Cole (D) Brad Hunt (D) Ian McCoshen (D) Brennan Menell (D) Dakota Mermis (D) Carson Soucy (D) Andrew Hammond (G) Kaapo Kahkonen (G)Montreal CanadiensBrandon Baddock (F) Joseph Blandisi (F) Paul Byron (F) Phillip Danault (F) Laurent Dauphin (F) Jonathan Drouin (F) Michael Frolik (F) Charles Hudon (F) Corey Perry (F) Michael Pezzetta (F) Eric Staal (F) Tomas Tatar (F) Lukas Vejdemo (F) Jordan Weal (F) Cale Fleury (D) Erik Gustafsson (D) Brett Kulak (D) Jon Merrill (D) Gustav Olofsson (D) Xavier Ouellet (D) Shea Weber (D) Charlie Lindgren (G) Michael McNiven (G) Carey Price (G)Nashville PredatorsMichael Carcone (F) Nick Cousins (F) Matt Duchene (F) Mikael Granlund (F) Rocco Grimaldi (F) Erik Haula (F) Calle Jarnkrok (F) Ryan Johansen (F) Sean Malone (F) Michael McCarron (F) Rem Pitlick (F) Anthony Richard (F) Brad Richardson (F) Colton Sissons (F) Yakov Trenin (F) Frederic Allard (D) Matt Benning (D) Mark Borowiecki (D) Erik Gudbranson (D) Ben Harpur (D) Josh Healey (D) Tyler Lewington (D) Connor Ingram (G) Kasimir Kaskisuo (G) Pekka Rinne (G)New Jersey DevilsNathan Bastian (F) Christoph Bertschy (F) Brandon Gignac (F) A.J. Greer (F) Andreas Johnsson (F) Ivan Khomutov (F) Nicholas Merkley (F) Brett Seney (F) Ben Street (F) Marian Studenic (F) Will Butcher (D) Connor Carrick (D) Josh Jacobs (D) Ryan Murray (D) David Quenneville (D) Colby Sissons (D) P.K. Subban (D) Matt Tennyson (D) Colton White (D) Evan Cormier (G) Aaron Dell (G) Scott Wedgewood (G)New York IslandersJosh Bailey (F) Cole Bardreau (F) Kieffer Bellows (F) Casey Cizikas (F) Austin Czarnik (F) Michael Dal Colle (F) Jordan Eberle (F) Tanner Fritz (F) Joshua Ho-Sang (F) Ross Johnston (F) Otto Koivula (F) Leo Komarov (F) Kyle Palmieri (F) Richard Panik (F) Dmytro Timashov (F) Travis Zajac (F) Sebastian Aho (D) Braydon Coburn (D) Andy Greene (D) Thomas Hickey (D) Mitchell Vande Sompel (D) Parker Wotherspoon (D) Ken Appleby (G) Cory Schneider (G)New York RangersColin Blackwell (F) Jonny Brodzinski (F) Phillip Di Giuseppe (F) Gabriel Fontaine (F) Julien Gauthier (F) Tim Gettinger (F) Barclay Goodrow (F) Anthony Greco (F) Ty Ronning (F) Anthony Bitetto (D) Brandon Crawley (D) Tony DeAngelo (D) Nick DeSimone (D) Mason Geertsen (D) Jack Johnson (D) Darren Raddysh (D) Brendan Smith (D) Keith Kinkaid (G)EXPANSION DRAFT FRENZY: Ryan Ellis, Jared McCann, Barclay Goodrow among players swapped before trade freezeOttawa SenatorsAvailable Vitaly Abramov (F) Michael Amadio (F) Artem Anisimov (F) J.C. Beaudin (F) Clark Bishop (F) Evgenii Dadonov (F) Jonathan Davidsson (F) Ryan Dzingel (F) Micheal Haley (F) Jack Kopacka (F) Zachary Magwood (F) Matthew Peca (F) Logan Shaw (F) Derek Stepan (F) Chris Tierney (F) Josh Brown (D) Cody Goloubef (D) Mikael Wikstrand (D) Joey Daccord (G) Anton Forsberg (G) Marcus Hogberg (G) Matt Murray (G)Philadelphia FlyersAndy Andreoff (F) Connor Bunnaman (F) David Kase (F) Pascal Laberge (F) Samuel Morin (F) German Rubtsov (F) Carsen Twarynski (F) James van Riemsdyk (F) Jakub Voracek (F) Mikhail Vorobyev (F) Chris Bigras (D) Justin Braun (D) Shayne Gostisbehere (D) Robert Hagg (D) Derrick Pouliot (D) Nate Prosser (D) Tyler Wotherspoon (D) Brian Elliott (G) Alex Lyon (G) Felix Sandstrom (G)Pittsburgh PenguinsPontus Aberg (F) Anthony Angello (F) Zach Aston-Reese (F) Josh Currie (F) Frederick Gaudreau (F) Mark Jankowski (F) Sam Lafferty (F) Sam Miletic (F) Evan Rodrigues (F) Colton Sceviour (F) Brandon Tanev (F) Jason Zucker (F) Cody Ceci (D) Kevin Czuczman (D) Mark Friedman (D) Jesper Lindgren (D) Andrey Pedan (D) Marcus Pettersson (D) Juuso Riikola (D) Chad Ruhwedel (D) Yannick Weber (D) Casey DeSmith (G) Maxime Lagace (G)San Jose SharksRyan Donato (F) Kurtis Gabriel (F) Dylan Gambrell (F) Jayden Halbgewachs (F) Maxim Letunov (F) Patrick Marleau (F) Matt Nieto (F) Marcus Sorensen (F) Alexander True (F) Christian Jaros (D) Nicolas Meloche (D) Jacob Middleton (D) Greg Pateryn (D) Radim Simek (D) Martin Jones (G)St. Louis BluesSam Anas (F) Sammy Blais (F) Tyler Bozak (F) Kyle Clifford (F) Jacob de la Rose (F) Mike Hoffman (F) Tanner Kaspick (F) Mackenzie MacEachern (F) Curtis McKenzie (F) Austin Poganski (F) Zach Sanford (F) Jaden Schwartz (F) Nolan Stevens (F) Vladimir Tarasenko (F) Nathan Walker (F) Robert Bortuzzo (D) Vince Dunn (D) Petteri Lindbohm (D) Niko Mikkola (D) Mitch Reinke (D) Steven Santini (D) Marco Scandella (D) Jake Walman (D) Evan Fitzpatrick (G) Jon Gillies (G) Ville Husso (G)Tampa Bay LightningAlex Barre-Boulet (F) Blake Coleman (F) Ross Colton (F) Yanni Gourde (F) Tyler Johnson (F) Mathieu Joseph (F) Boris Katchouk (F) Alex Killorn (F) Pat Maroon (F) Boo Nieves (F) Ondrej Palat (F) Taylor Raddysh (F) Gemel Smith (F) Otto Somppi (F) Mitchell Stephens (F) Daniel Walcott (F) Luke Witkowski (F) Andreas Borgman (D) Fredrik Claesson (D) Sean Day (D) Cal Foote (D) Brian Lashoff (D) Dominik Masin (D) Jan Rutta (D) David Savard (D) Luke Schenn (D) Ben Thomas (D) Christopher Gibson (G) Spencer Martin (G) Curtis McElhinney (G)MORE: Maroon fourth player to win three straight Stanley Cups with two different teamsToronto Maple LeafsAvailable Kenny Agostino (F) Joey Anderson (F) Adam Brooks (F) Pierre Engvall (F) Nick Foligno (F) Alex Galchenyuk (F) Zach Hyman (F) Alexander Kerfoot (F) Kalle Kossila (F) Denis Malgin (F) Jared McCann (F) Riley Nash (F) Stefan Noesen (F) Nic Petan (F) Scott Sabourin (F) Wayne Simmonds (F) Jason Spezza (F) Antti Suomela (F) Joe Thornton (F) Zach Bogosian (D) Travis Dermott (D) Ben Hutton (D) Martin Marincin (D) Calle Rosen (D) Frederik Andersen (G) Michael Hutchinson (G) David Rittich (G)Vancouver CanucksSven Baertschi (F) Justin Bailey (F) Jay Beagle (F) Travis Boyd (F) Loui Eriksson (F) Jonah Gadjovich (F) Tyler Graovac (F) Jayce Hawryluk (F) Matthew Highmore (F) Lukas Jasek (F) Kole Lind (F) Zack MacEwen (F) Petrus Palmu (F) Antoine Roussel (F) Brandon Sutter (F) Jimmy Vesey (F) Jake Virtanen (F) Madison Bowey (D) Guillaume Brisebois (D) Jalen Chatfield (D) Alexander Edler (D) Travis Hamonic (D) Brogan Rafferty (D) Ashton Sautner (D) Josh Teves (D) Braden Holtby (G)Washington CapitalsDaniel Carr (F) Nic Dowd (F) Shane Gersich (F) Carl Hagelin (F) Garnet Hathaway (F) Axel Jonsson-Fjallby (F) Alex Ovechkin (F) Garrett Pilon (F) Brian Pinho (F) Michael Raffl (F) Michael Sgarbossa (F) Conor Sheary (F) Zdeno Chara (D) Brenden Dillon (D) Nick Jensen (D) Lucas Johansen (D) Michal Kempny (D) Paul LaDue (D) Cameron Schilling (D) Justin Schultz (D) Craig Anderson (G) Pheonix Copley (G) Zach Fucale (G) Vitek Vanecek (G)Winnipeg JetsMason Appleton (F) Marko Dano (F) Jansen Harkins (F) Trevor Lewis (F) Skyler McKenzie (F) Mathieu Perreault (F) Paul Stastny (F) CJ Suess (F) Nate Thompson (F) Dominic Toninato (F) Nathan Beaulieu (D) Jordie Benn (D) Dylan DeMelo (D) Derek Forbort (D) Luke Green (D) Sami Niku (D) Nelson Nogier (D) Tucker Poolman (D) Mikhail Berdin (G) Laurent Brossoit (G) Eric Comrie (G) Cole Kehler (G) Read the full article

[brokehorrorfan]

Blu-ray Review: Deadline

Popping in a new Vinegar Syndrome disc is as close as I get to playing Russian roulette. Since the distributor specializes in restoring obscure genre titles, I never know if I’m getting a hidden gem, a campy B-movie, a so-bad-it's-good slice of fun, or a dud with few redeeming qualities. The unknown is half the fun, and discovering those diamonds in the rough makes it worthwhile. I would happily place Deadline squarely in the elite "hidden gem" category.

Also known as Anatomy of a Horror, the low-budget Canadian film was produced in 1979, premiered in 1980, brought to Cannes in 1981, and finally distributed in 1984 before being largely forgotten. But the arduous journey to reach audiences and its ultimate lack of impact is not indicative of the picture's quality. Directed by Mario Azzopardi (Stargate SG-1: Children of the Gods, Bone Daddy), this macabre sleeper is worthy of permeating viewers much like its subject matter does to the main character.

Reminiscent of a self-referential Stephen King novel, the plot centers on Steven Lessey (Stephen Young, Soylent Green), a famed horror author and screenwriter struggling with writer's block while the pressure of a looming deadline mounts. The scribe's pursuit to evolve beyond B-rate schlock and achieve "ultimate terror" comes at the expense of his domestic life - he's abusive to his adultering wife (Sharon Masters) and neglectful of his young children - and, ultimately, his sanity.

Maintaining a delicate balance between drama and horror, the A-story is interpolated by striking horror set pieces from Steven's latest writing. The lines between fiction and reality blur, with Steven descending into madness as his life falls apart around him. This lends itself to one of the film's greatest strengths: its metatextual angle. Via the film within the film, writers Azzopardi and Richard Oleksiak address the criticisms lobbed at the horror genre as being distasteful as well as the cynicism of the industry as a whole.

A tightly-edited 90 minutes, Deadline's downward spiral lasts all the way through its bleak ending. While virtually every character is unlikable, Young delivers an understated performance, and the cast notably includes Cindy Hinds (The Brood) as his daughter. In addition to atmospheric cinematography by Manfred Guthe (The Stupids), the film offers an abundance of gruesome bloodshed, courtesy of Gordon Smith (X-Men, Near Dark) and The Gore Boys.

Vinegar Syndrome has restored Deadline in 2K for its Blu-ray/DVD combo pack. With the original negative believed to be lost, it was sourced from producer Henry Less' personal 35mm print. Irreparable damage to both audio and visual are occasionally noticeable, but it's still a fine presentation. The disc includes new interviews with Less, who expresses regret over his falling out with Azzopardi during the editing process, and Guthe, who discusses climbing up the ranks to shoot this as his second feature following another Canuxploitation cult classic, The Pit.

Deadline will be released on Blu-ray/DVD on April 28 via Vinegar Syndrome.

[stromeuh]

who shouldve won the rocket richard: joel kiviranta or jamie oleksiak?

[hockeyholidays2023]

Final tag set

Behind the read more...we’ve got over 300 ships nominated and every NHL team has at least one nomination, yay!

Anaheim Ducks

Maxime Comtois/Antoine Morand

Arizona Coyotes

Michael Latta/Dylan Strome

Boston Bruins

Adam Morrison/Tuukka Rask

Anders Bjork/Matt Grzelcyk

Boston Bruins/Charlie McAvoy

Brad Marchand/Tyler Seguin

Brandon Carlo/Charlie McAvoy

Brandon Carlo/Connor Clifton

Charlie Coyle/Boston Bruins Ensemble

Charlie Coyle/Chris Wagner

Charlie McAvoy/David Pastrnak

Danton Heinen/Sean Kuraly

David Pastrnak/Tuukka Rask

Jake DeBrusk/Charlie McAvoy

Jake DeBrusk/Sean Kuraly

Matt Grzelcyk/Charlie McAvoy

Patrice Bergeron/Brad Marchand

Torey Krug/Brad Marchand

Zdeno Chara/Boston Bruins Ensemble

Zdeno Chara/Brad Marchand

Zdeno Chara/Charlie McAvoy

Zdeno Chara/David Pastrnak

Zdeno Chara/Tuukka Rask

Zdeno Chara/Tyler Seguin

Buffalo Sabres

Jack Eichel/Jeff Skinner

Jack Eichel/Sam Reinhart

Jake McCabe/Rasmus Ristolainen

Rasmus Dahlin/Casey Mittelstadt

Calgary Flames

Elias Lindholm/Noah Hanifin

Johnny Gaudreau/Sean Monahan

Carolina Hurricanes

Alexander Semin/Eric Staal

Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal

Julien Gauthier/Nicolas Roy

Sebastian Aho/Teuvo Teravainen

Chicago Blackhawks

Alex DeBrincat/Dylan Strome

Colorado Avalanche

Andre Burakovsky/Nathan MacKinnon

Andre Burakovsky/Tyson Jost

Cale Makar/Conor Timmins

Erik Johnson/Gabriel Landeskog

Erik Johnson/Nathan MacKinnon

Erik Johnson/Nikita Zadorov

Gabriel Landeskog/Andre Burakovsky

Gabriel Landeskog/Colin Wilson

Gabriel Landeskog/Mikko Rantanen

J. T. Compher/Alexander Kerfoot

J. T. Compher/Alexander Kerfoot/Cale Makar

J. T. Compher/Cale Makar

J. T. Compher/Tyson Jost

J. T. Compher/Tyson Jost/Alexander Kerfoot

Ryan Graves/Cale Makar

Samuel Girard/Cale Makar

Samuel Girard/Erik Johnson

Samuel Girard/Erik Johnson/Cale Makar

Tyson Barrie/Colin Wilson

Tyson Barrie/Erik Johnson

Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog

Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog/Nathan MacKinnon

Tyson Barrie/Nathan MacKinnon

Tyson Barrie/Tyson Jost

Columbus Blue Jackets

Boone Jenner/Ryan Murray

Cam Atkinson/Brandon Dubinsky

Josh Anderson/Zach Werenski

Pierre-Luc Dubois/Alexander Wennberg

Sergei Bobrovsky/Nick Foligno

William Karlsson/Alexander Wennberg

Dallas Stars

Anton Khudobin/Alexander Radulov

Ben Bishop/Dallas Stars Ensemble

Denis Gurianov/Roope Hintz

Jamie Benn/Roope Hintz

Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin/Roope Hintz

Joe Pavelski/Tyler Seguin

John Klingberg/Esa Lindell

Jordie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Miro Heiskanen/Esa Lindell

Miro Heiskanen/Roope Hintz

Miro Heiskanen/Roope Hintz/Esa Lindell

Miro Heiskanen/Tyler Seguin

Nick Caamano/Roope Hintz

Roope Hintz/Mattias Janmark

Roope Hintz/Mattias Janmark/Joe Pavelski

Tyler Seguin/Patrick Sharp

Detroit Red Wings

Sergei Fedorov/Nicklas Lidstrom

Sergei Fedorov/Pavel Bure

Sergei Fedorov/Steve Yzerman

Edmonton Oilers

Connor McDavid/Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall

Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall/Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins/Ryan Strome

Florida Panthers

Aleksander Barkov/Jonathan Huberdeau

Los Angeles Kings

Jeff Carter/Mike Richards

Martin Jones/Jonathan Quick

Minnesota Wild

Jason Pominville/Thomas Vanek

Montreal Canadiens

Alex Galchenyuk/Brendan Gallagher

Carey Price/P. K. Subban

Nashville Predators

Pekka Rinne/Juuse Saros

Rich Clune/James Neal

Roman Josi/P. K. Subban

Roman Josi/Shea Weber

New Jersey Devils

Jesper Boqvist/Jesper Bratt

Jesper Boqvist/Jesper Bratt/Pavel Zacha

Jesper Bratt/Nico Hischier

Nathan Bastian/Michael McLeod

Taylor Hall/Nico Hischier

Taylor Hall/Nico Hischier/Jack Hughes

New York Islanders

Anders Lee/Brock Nelson

Casey Cizikas/Matt Martin

Johnny Boychuk/Nick Leddy

Mathew Barzal/Anthony Beauvillier

Mathew Barzal/Jordan Eberle

New York Rangers

Brian Boyle/Ryan Callahan

Ottawa Senators

Thomas Chabot/Colin White

Philadelphia Flyers

Brian Elliott/Carter Hart

Carter Hart/Jakub Voracek

Carter Hart/Oskar Lindblom

Carter Hart/Philippe Myers

Carter Hart/Travis Konecny

Carter Hart/Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick

Claude Giroux/Carter Hart

Claude Giroux/Ivan Provorov

Claude Giroux/Nolan Patrick

Claude Giroux/Travis Konecny

Claude Giroux/Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick

Claude Giroux/Gritty (Hockey RPF)

Claude Giroux/Wayne Simmonds

Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Danny Briere/Sean Couturier

Danny Briere/Sean Couturier/Claude Giroux

Joel Farabee/Morgan Frost

Nicolas Aube-Kubel/Philippe Myers

Michael Raffl/Jakub Voracek

Nolan Patrick/Ivan Provorov

Nolan Patrick/Wayne Simmonds

Ryanne Breton/Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Ryanne Breton/Claude Giroux

Sean Couturier/Brayden Schenn

Sean Couturier/Claude Giroux

Shayne Gostisbehere/Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick

Travis Konecny/Ivan Provorov

Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick

Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick/Ivan Provorov

Travis Konecny/Oskar Lindblom

Travis Konecny/Wayne Simmonds

Wayne Simmonds/Jakub Voracek

Pittsburgh Penguins

Alex Galchenyuk/Evgeni Malkin

Brian Dumoulin/Conor Sheary

Brian Dumoulin/Kris Letang

Jamie Oleksiak/Conor Sheary

Marc-Andre Fleury/Kris Letang

Marc-Andre Fleury/Mario Lemieux

Marc-Andre Fleury/Matt Murray

Marc-Andre Fleury/Veronique Fleury

Marc-Andre Fleury/Veronique Fleury/Catherine Laflamme/Kris Letang

Sidney Crosby/Erik Gudbranson

Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Sidney Crosby/Marc-Andre Fleury

Sidney Crosby/Kris Letang

Sidney Crosby/Mario Lemieux

Sidney Crosby/Phil Kessel

Sidney Crosby/Trevor Daley

Sidney Crosby/Tristan Jarry

Sidney Crosby/Tristan Jarry/Evgeni Malkin

San Jose Sharks

Patrick Marleau/Joe Thornton

Tomas Hertl/Joe Thornton

St. Louis Blues

Brayden Schenn/Vladimir Tarasenko

Tampa Bay Lightning

Alex Killorn/Andrej Sustr

Alex Killorn/Brayden Point

Anthony Cirelli/Mathieu Joseph

Anthony Cirelli/Mikhail Sergachev

Anthony Cirelli/Taylor Raddysh/Mitchell Stephens

Boris Katchouk/Taylor Raddysh

Braydon Coburn/Slater Koekkoek

Connor Ingram/Carter Verhaeghe

Jonathan Drouin/Steven Stamkos

Steve Downie/Steven Stamkos

Taylor Raddysh/Mitchell Stephens

Victor Hedman/Steven Stamkos

Vincent Lecavalier/Brad Richards

Toronto Maple Leafs

Frederik Andersen/Auston Matthews

Frederik Andersen/Connor Brown

Frederik Andersen/Alexander Kerfoot

Frederik Andersen/Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews

Frederik Andersen/Mitch Marner

Frederik Andersen/Tyson Barrie

Kyle Dubas/William Nylander

Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews/William Nylander

Mitch Marner/Matt Martin

Steve Dangle/James Reimer

Tyson Barrie/Morgan Rielly

Zach Hyman/Mitch Marner

Zach Hyman/William Nylander

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser/Elias Pettersson

Eddie Lack/Roberto Luongo

Vegas Golden Knights

Cody Glass/Max Pacioretty

Cody Glass/Nic Hague

Erik Haula/Nate Schmidt

Jonathan Marchessault/David Perron

Jonathan Marchessault/Mark Stone

Jonathan Marchessault/Ryan Reaves

Marc-Andre Fleury/Jonathan Marchessault

Marc-Andre Fleury/Malcolm Subban

Marc-Andre Fleury/Ryan Reaves

Max Pacioretty/Mark Stone

Pierre-Edouard Bellemare/Marc-Andre Fleury

William Karlsson/Jonathan Marchessault

Washington Capitals

Andre Burakovsky/Christian Djoos

Andre Burakovsky/Philipp Grubauer

André Burakovsky/Tom Wilson

Alexander Ovechkin/Alexander Semin

Braden Holtby/T. J. Oshie

Braden Holtby/Tom Wilson

Evgeny Kuznetsov/Tom Wilson

Michael Latta/Tom Wilson

Michal Kempny/Jakub Vrana

Michal Kempny/John Carlson

Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovechkin

Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovechkin/Alexander Semin

Nicklas Backstrom/Braden Holtby

Nicklas Backstrom/Mike Green

Nicklas Backstrom/T. J. Oshie/Alexander Ovechkin

T. J. Oshie/Tom Wilson

Vitek Vanecek/Jakub Vrana

Winnipeg Jets

Adam Lowry/Brandon Tanev

Mark Scheifele/Blake Wheeler

Nikolaj Ehlers/Patrik Laine

Men's National Team - Canada

Anthony Beauvillier/Thomas Chabot/Pierre-Luc Dubois

Carter Hart/Braden Holtby

Carter Hart/Sam Steel

Claude Giroux/Kris Letang

Claude Giroux/Mitch Marner

Claude Giroux/Tyler Seguin

Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Connor McDavid/Nathan MacKinnon

Dante Fabbro/Tyson Jost

Jamie Benn/Sidney Crosby

Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers

Marc-Andre Fleury/Claude Giroux

Marc-Andre Fleury/Claude Giroux/Kris Letang

Mathew Barzal/Anthony Beauvillier/Thomas Chabot

Mathew Barzal/Dante Fabbro

Mathew Barzal/Mitch Marner

Mathew Barzal/Thomas Chabot

Michael McLeod/Dylan Strome

Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid

Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Mitch Marner/Dylan Strome

Mitch Marner/Dylan Strome/John Tavares

Nathan MacKinnon/Tyler Seguin

Nicolas Hague/Owen Tippett

Pierre-Luc Dubois/Julien Gauthier

Ryanne Breton/Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux

Sidney Crosby/Andy O'Brien

Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux

Sidney Crosby/Nathan MacKinnon

Sidney Crosby/Tyler Seguin

Tyson Barrie/Jamie Benn

Tyson Barrie/Sidney Crosby/Nathan MacKinnon

Men's National Team - Denmark

Frederik Andersen/Lars Eller

Men's National Team - Finland

Patrik Laine/Esa Lindell

Men's National Team - Russia

Ivan Provorov/Andrei Svechnikov

Sergei Fedorov/Pavel Bure/Anna Kournikova

Men's National Team - Sweden

Oskar Lindblom/William Nylander

Men's National Team - USA

Dylan Larkin/Zach Werenski

Jack Eichel/Noah Hanifin

Quinn Hughes/Brady Tkachuk

Women's Hockey

Amanda Kessel/Haley Skarupa

Erika Lawler/Harrison Browne

Hilary Knight/Haley Skarupa

Hilary Knight/Jillian Salunier

Hilary Knight/Marie-Philip Poulin

Taylor Crosby/Amanda Kessel

Men's Hockey/Women's Hockey crossover

Sidney Crosby/Taylor Crosby

Sidney Crosby/Amanda Kessel

Junior or College Teammates and Other Cross-Team Ships

Alex Galchenyuk/Nail Yakupov

Alexandre Fortin/Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers

Anders Nilsson/Jussi Saros

Claude Giroux/Evgeni Malkin

Frederik Andersen/J. T. Compher

Gabriel Landeskog/Jeff Skinner

Gabriel Landeskog/Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Jack Eichel/Connor McDavid

Jordie Benn/Dylan Strome

Juuse Saros/Anders Nilsson

Marc-Andre Fleury/Kris Letang/Jonathan Marchessault/David Perron

Mathieu Boucher/Jeremy Lauzon

Mathieu Boucher/Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers

Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews/Dylan Strome

Mitch Marner/Ivan Provorov

Mitch Marner/Matthew Tkachuk

Nicklas Backstrom/Evgeni Malkin

Nicklas Backstrom/Sidney Crosby

Nicklas Backstrom/Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin/Alexander Ovechkin

Nico Hischier/Nolan Patrick

Nicolas Aubé-Kubel/Jeremy Lauzon/Philippe Myers

Sidney Crosby/Alexander Ovechkin

William Nylander/David Pastrnak

Other Celebrity Crossovers

KJ Apa/Brock Boeser

[brandoncarlo]

Heaviest possible team of active NHL Players 

average weight: 236 lbs

total weight: 4732 lbs

Alex Ovechkin - Brian Boyle - Chris Thorburn 

Ross Johnston - Frederik Gauthier - Nick Ritchie

Milan Lucic - Anders Lee - Nick Paul

Andreas Martinesen - Marcus Foligno - Jordan Greenway

Dustin Byfuglien - Jamie Oleksiak

Zdeno Chara - Roman Polak

Brent Burns - Marc Methot

Robin Lehner

Thomas Greiss

Lightest possible team of active NHL Players

average weight: 165 lbs

total weight: 3298 lbs

Brett Seney - Kailer Yamamoto - Tomas Hyka

Tyler Ennis - Anthony Richard - Danick Martel

Paul Byron - Alex Formenton - Alex DeBrincat

Johnny Gaudreau - Brayden Point - Sheldon Rempal

Samuel Girard - Jared Spurgeon

Christian Djoos - Filip Hronek

Kris Russel - Matt Grzelcyk

Ryan Miller

Hunter Miska

*based on weights listed on NHL.com

**active meaning they have payed at least one game in this (2018-19) nhl season

youngest v. oldest | tallest v. shortest

[isfeed]

‘It’s great for Canada:’ Penny Oleksiak’s parents happy for daughter’s historic achievement at Tokyo Olympics

‘It’s great for Canada:’ Penny Oleksiak’s parents happy for daughter’s historic achievement at Tokyo Olympics

Richard and Alison Oleksiak say they cannot wait to see their daughter Penny on Monday when she arrives home after her historic week at the Tokyo Olympics. Source: CP24

[holyjost]

TEAM LISTS OF UNPROTECTED PLAYERS [source] ANAHEIM DUCKS

FORWARDS: spencer abbott, jared boll, sam carrick, patrick eaves, emerson etem, ryan garbutt, max gortz, nicolas kerdiles, andre petersson, logan shaw, nick sorenson, nate thompson, corey tropp, chris wagner

DEFENSEMEN: nate guenin, korbinian holzer, josh manson, jaycob megna, jeff schultz, clayton stoner, sami vatanen

GOALTENDERS: jonathan bernier, jhonas enroth, ryan faragher, matt hackett, dustin tokarski

ARIZONA COYOTES

FORWARDS: alexander burmistrov, shane doan, tyler gaudet, peter holland, josh jooris, jamie mcginn, jeremy morin, mitchell moroz, chris mueller, teemu pulkkinen, brad richardson, garret ross, branden troock, radim vrbata, joe whitney

DEFENSEMEN: kevin connauton, jamie mcbain, zbynek michalek, jarred tinordi

GOALTENDERS: louis domingue

BOSTON BRUINS

FORWARDS: matt beleskey, brian ferlin, jimmy hayes, alex khokhlachev, dominic moore, tyler randell, zac rinaldo, tim schaller, drew stafford

DEFENSEMEN: linus arnesson, chris casto, tommy cross, alex grant, john-michael liles, adam mcquaid, colin miller, joe morrow

GOALTENDERS: anton khudobinn, malcolm subban

BUFFALO SABRES

FORWARDS: william carrier, nicolas deslauriers, brian gionta, derek grant, justin kea, matt moulson, cal o'reilly, cole schneider

DEFENSEMEN: brady austin, mathew bodie, zach bogosian, justin falk, taylor fedun, cody franson, josh gorges, dmitry kulikov

GOALTENDERS: anders nilsson, linus ullmark

CALGARY FLAMES

FORWARDS: brandon bollig, lance bouma, troy brouwer, alex chiasson, freddie hamilton, emile poirier, hunter shinkaruk, matt stajan, kris versteeg, linden vey

DEFENSEMEN: matt bartkowski, ryan culkin, deryk engelland, michael kostka, brett kulak, ladislav smid, michael stone, dennis wideman, tyler wotherspoon

GOALTENDERS: brian elliott, tom mccollum

CAROLINA HURRICANES

FORWARDS: bryan bickell, connor brickley, patrick brown, erik karlsson, danny kristo, jay mcclement, andrew miller, andrej nestrasil, joakim nordstrom, lee stempniak, brendan woods

DEFENSEMEN: klas dahlbeck, dennis robertson, philip samuelsson, matt tennyson

GOALTENDERS: daniel altshuller, eddie lack, michael leighton, cam ward

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

FORWARDS: kyle baun, andrew desjardins, marcus kruger, pierre-cedric labrie, michael latta, brandon mashinter, dennis rasmussen, jordin tootoo

DEFENSEMEN: brian campbell, dillon fournier, shawn lalonde, johnny oduya, ville pokka, michael rozsival, viktor svedberg, trevor van riemsdyk

GOALTENDERS: mac carruth, jeff glass

COLORADO AVALANCHE

FORWARDS: troy bourke, gabriel bourque, rene bourque, joe colborne, turner elson, felix girard, mikhail grigorenko, samuel henley, john mitchell, jim o'brien, brendan ranford, mike sislo, carl soderberg

DEFENSEMEN: mark barberio, mat clark, eric gelinas, cody goloubef, duncan siemens, fedor tyutin, patrick wiercioch

GOALTENDERS: joe cannata, calvin pickard, jeremy smith

COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS

FORWARDS: josh anderson, alex broadhurst, matt calvert, zac dalpe, sam gagner, brett gallant, william karlsson, lauri korpikosko, lukas sedlak, t.j. tynan, daniel zaar

DEFENSEMEN: marc-andre bergeron, scott harrington, jack johnson, kyle quincey, john ramage, jaime sifers, ryan stanton

GOALTENDERS: oscar dansk, anton forsberg, joonas korpisalo

DALLAS STARS

FORWARDS: adam cracknell, justin dowling, cody eakin, ales hemski, jiri hudler, curtis mckenzie, mark mcneill, travis morin, patrick sharp, gemel smith, matej stransky

DEFENSEMEN: mattias backman, andrew bodnarchuk, ludwig bystrom, nick ebert, justin hache, dan hamhuis, patrik nemeth, jamie oleksiak, greg pateryn, dustin stevenson

GOALTENDERS: henri kiviaho, maxime legace, kari lehtonen, antti niemi, justin peters

DETROIT RED WINGS

FORWARDS: louis-marc aubry, mitch callahan, colin campbell, martin frk, luke glendening, darren helm, drew miller, tomas nosek, riley sheahan, ben street, eric tangradi

DEFENSEMEN: adam almquist, jonathan ericsson, niklas kronwall, brian lashoff, dylan mcilrath, xavier ouellet, ryan sproul

GOALTENDERS: jared coreau, petr mrazek, edward pasquale, jake peterson

EDMONTON OILERS

FORWARDS: david desharnais, justin fontaine, matt henricks, roman horak, jujhar khaira, anton lander, iiro pakarinen, tyler pitlick, zach pochiro, benoit pouliot, henrik samuelsson, bogdan yakimov

DEFENSEMEN: mark fayne, andrew ference, mark fraser, eric gryba, david musil, jordan oesterle, griffin reinhart, kris russell, dillon simpson

GOALTENDERS: laurent brossoit, jonas gustavsson

FLORIDA PANTHERS

FORWARDS: graham black, tim bozon, jaromir jagr, jussi jokinen, derek mackenzie, jonathan marchessault, colton sceviour, michael sgarbossa, reilly smith, brody sutter, paul thompson, shawn thornton, thomas vanek

DEFENSEMEN: jason demers, jakub kindl, brent regner, reece scarlett, mackenzie weegar

GOALTENDERS: reto berra, sam brittain, roberto luongo

LOS ANGELES KINGS

FORWARDS: andy andreoff, justin auger, dustin brown, kyle clifford, andrew crescenzi, nic dowd, marian gaborik, jarome iginla, trevor lewis, michael mersch, jordan nolan, teddy purcell, devin setoguchi, nick shore

DEFENSEMEN: matt greene, vincent loverde, brayden mcnabb, cameron schilling, rob scuderi, zach trotman

GOALTENDERS: jack campbell, jeff zatkoff

MINNESOTA WILD

FORWARDS: brady brassart, patrick cannone, ryan carter, kurtis gabriel, martin hanzal, erik haula, zack mitchell, jordan schroeder, eric staal, chris stewart, ryan white

DEFENSEMEN: victor bartley, matt dumba, christian folin, guillaume gelinas, alexander gudbranson, gustav olofsson, nate prosser, marco scandella, mike weber

GOALTENDERS: johan gustafsson, darcy kuemper, alex stalock

MONTREAL CANADIENS

FORWARDS: daniel carr, connor crisp, jacob de la rose, bobby farnham, brian flynn, max friberg, charles hudon, dwight king, stefan matteau, torrey mitchell, joonas nattinen, steve ott, tomas plekanec, alexander radulov, chris terry

DEFENSEMEN: brandon davidson, alexei emelin, keegan lowe, andrei markov, nikita nesterov, zach redmond, dalton thrower

GOALTENDERS: al montoya

NASHVILLE PREDATORS

FORWARDS: pontus aberg, cody bass, vernon fiddler, mike fisher, cody mcleod, james neal, p.a. parenteau, adam payerl, mike ribeiro, miikka salomaki, colton sissons, craig smith, trevor smith, austin watson, colin wilson, harry zolnierczyk

DEFENSEMEN: taylor aronson, anthony bitetto, stefan elliot, petter granberg, brad hunt, matt irwin, andrew o'brien, adam pardy, jaynen rissling, scott valentine, yannick weber

GOALTENDERS: marek mazanec

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

FORWARDS: beau bennett, michael cammalleri, carter camper, luke gazdic, shane harper, jacob josefson, ivan khomutov, stefan noeson, marc savard, devante smith-pelly, petr straka, mattias tedenby, ben thomson, david wohlberg

DEFENSEMEN: seth helgeson, viktor loov, ben lovejoy, andrew macwilliam, jon merrill, dalton prout, karl stollery, alexander urbom

GOALTENDERS: keith kinkaid, scott wedgewood

NEW YORK ISLANDERS

FORWARDS: josh bailey, steve bernier, eric boulton, jason chimera, casey cizikas, cal clutterbuck, stephen gionta, ben holmstrom, bracken kearns, nikolay kulemin, brock nelson, shane prince, alan quine, ryan strome, johan sundstrom

DEFENSEMEN: calvin de haan, matthew finn, jesse graham, thomas hickey, loic leduc, scott mayfield, dennis seidenberg

GOALTENDERS: jean-francois berube, christopher gibson, jaroslav halak

NEW YORK RANGERS

FORWARDS: taylor beck, chris brown, daniel catenacci, jesper fast, tanner glass, michael grabner, marek hrivik, nicklas jensen, carl klingberg, oscar lindberg, brandon pirri, matt puempel

DEFENSEMEN: adam clendening, tommy hughes, steven kampfer, kevin klein, michael paliotta, brendan smith, chris summers

GOALTENDERS: magnus hellberg, antti raanta, mackenzie skapski

OTTAWA SENATORS

FORWARDS: casey bailey, mike blunden, alexandre burrows, stephane da costa, christopher didomenico, nikita filatov, chris kelly, clarke macarthur, max mccormick, chris neil, tom pyatt, ryan rupert, bobby ryan, viktor stalberg, phil varone, tommy wingels

DEFENSEMEN: mark borowiecki, fredrik claesson, brandon gormley, jyrki jokipakka, marc methot, patrick sieloff, chris wideman, mikael wikstrand

GOALTENDERS: mike condon, chris driedger, andrew hammond

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

FORWARDS: pierre-edouard bellemare, greg carey, chris conner, boyd gordon, taylor leier, colin mcdonald, andy miele, michael raffl, matt read, chris vandevelde, jordan weal, dale weise, eric wellwood

DEFENSEMEN: mark alt, tj brennan, michael del zotto, andrew macdonald, will o’neill, jesper pettersson, nick schultz

GOALTENDERS: steve mason, michal neuvirth

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

FORWARDS: josh archibald, nick bonino, matt cullen, jean-sebastien dea, carl hagelin, tom kuhnhackl, chris kunitz, kevin porter, bryan rust, tom sestito, oskar sundqvist, dominik uher, garrett wilson, scott wilson

DEFENSEMEN: ian cole, frank corrado, trevor daley, tim erixon, cameron gaunce, ron hainsey, stuart percy, derrick pouliot, chad ruhwedel, mark streit, david warsofsky

GOALTENDERS: marc-andre fleury

SAN JOSE SHARKS

FORWARDS: mikkel boedker, barclay goodrow, micheal haley, patrick marleau, buddy robinson, zack stortini, joe thornton, joel ward

DEFENSEMEN: dylan demelo, brenden dillon, dan kelly, paul martin, david schlemko

GOALTENDERS: aaron dell, troy grosenick, harri sateri

ST. LOUIS BLUES

FORWARDS: kenny agostino, andrew agozzino, kyle brodziak, jordan caron, jacob doty, landon ferraro, alex friesen, evgeny grachev, dmitrij jaskin, jori lehtera, brad malone, magnus paajarvi, david perron, ty rattie, scottie upshall, nail yakupov

DEFENSEMEN: robert bortuzzo, chris butler, morgan ellis, carl gunnarsson, jani hakanpaa, petteri lindbohm, reid mcneill

GOALTENDERS: jordan binnington, carter hutton

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

FORWARDS: carter ashton, michael bournival, j.t. brown, cory conacher, erik condra, gabriel dumont, stefan fournier, byron froese, yanni gourde, mike halmo, henri ikonen, pierre-luc letourneau-leblond, tye mcginn, greg mckegg, cedric paquette, tanner richard, joel vermin

DEFENSEMEN: dylan blujus, jake dotchin, jason garrison, slater koekkoek, jonathan racine, andrej sustr, matt taormina, luke witkowski

GOALTENDERS: peter budaj, kristers gudlevskis, jaroslav janus, mike mckenna

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

FORWARDS: brian boyle, eric fehr, colin greening, seth griffith, teemu hartikainen, brooks laich, brendan leipsic, joffrey lupul, milan michalek, kerby rychel, ben smith

DEFENSEMEN: andrew campbell, matt hunwick, alexey marchenko, martin marincin, steve oleksy, roman polak

GOALTENDERS: antoine bibeau, curtis mcelhinney, garret sparks

VANCOUVER CANUCKS

FORWARDS: reid boucher, michael chaput, joseph cramarossa, derek dorsett, brendan gaunce, alexandre grenier, jayson megna, borna rendulic, anton rodin, drew shore, jack skille, michael zalewski

DEFENSEMEN: alex biega, philip larsen, tom nilsson, andrey pedan, luca sbisa

GOALTENDERS: richard bachman, ryan miller

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

FORWARDS: jay beagle, chris bourque, paul carey, brett connolly, stanislav galiev, tyler graovac, garrett mitchell, liam o’brien, t.j. oshie, zach sill, chandler stephenson, christian thomas, nathan walker, justin williams, daniel winnik

DEFENSEMEN: karl alzner, taylor chorney, cody corbett, darren dietz, christian djoos, tom gilbert, aaron ness, brooks orpik, nate schmidt, kevin shattenkirk

GOALTENDERS: pheonix copley, philipp grubauer

WINNIPEG JETS

FORWARDS: marko dano, quinton howden, scott kosmachuk, tomas kubalik, jc lipon, shawn matthias, ryan olsen, anthony peluso, chris thorburn

DEFENSEMEN: ben chiarot, toby enstrom, brenden kichton, julian melchiori, paul postma, brian strait, mark stuart

GOALTENDERS: michael hutchinson, ondrej pavelec

[typical-simplelove]

Masterlist

Who I Write For

Stardust Reblog Challenge: September & October

Imagine the 40s... a 40s AU Series (Hockey)

Kelsea Ballerini Series (Hockey)

Labor Day Blurb Weekend 2k21 Masterlist (Hockey)

Good Things: a Dan+Shay Album Series (multi)

12 Days of December 2k21 (multi)

The Peter Pan Universe (Jacob Markstrom & Matthew Tkachuk Love Triangle)

Happiness Begins: an Album Series (multi)

August x Betty x Cardigan (Top Gun: Maverick)

Frederik Andersen

Bucky Barnes

Mathew Barzal

Anthony Beauvillier

JT Compher

Dylan Cozens

Kirby Dach

Leon Draisaitl

Oliver Ekman-Larsson

Ryan Graves

Jay Halstead

Will Halstead

Roope Hintz

Tyson Jost

Anders Lee

Richard Madden

Cale Makar

Jacob Markstrom

Matt Martin

Jamie Oleksiak

Peter Parker

Elias Pettersson

Mikko Rantanen

Jake Seresin

Ronald Spiers

Kelly Severide

Jeff Skinner

Andrei Svechnikov

Matthew Tkachuk

[olympictickets]

Olympic Aquatics: More success for London swimmer and Diver as Canada qualifies for Tokyo 2020

It was another successful swim for London's Maggie MacNeil at the World Swimming Championships. Canada qualified for the new 4 × 100 meter medley relay swim at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games, finishing fifth this Wednesday at the World Water Sports Championships in South Korea.

The team also included Kylie Masse from LaSalle, near Windsor, and Richard Funk and Yuri Kisil, both of Edmonton. They finished in three minutes 43.06 seconds, more than two seconds behind Great Britain (3: 40.68) for bronze. Olympic fans from all over the world are invited to book Olympic 2020 tickets from our online platforms for Olympic Tickets. Olympic Aquatics fans can book Olympic Aquatics Tickets from our ticketing marketplace exclusively on discounted prices.

MacNeil started the week winning the gold medal in the women's 100 butterfly.

"I do not remember everything that happened. It's just amazing to swim with the fastest flyers in the world. My goal in the competition was just to qualify for the final, but winning the gold was really amazing and unexpected. "

She also won the bronze medal in the women's 4 × 100 freestyle relay. MacNeil told 980 CFPL that it was great to be among the swimmers she admired. In fact, most competitors are at least six feet tall, which is really funny, just because I'm just under 5'7", so it's literally a giant.

But I'll be sitting in the dining room and I'll look at some of the swimmers I've been watching since I remember, and I'll say, 'Oh my God, they're here!' I am with them, which is still surreal. MacNeil still has two more races at the World Aquatic Championships: an individual event on Friday and another relay event on Sunday.

Meanwhile, Masse gave Canada its fourth medal of the competition by winning the gold medal in the 100 backstroke for the second consecutive world. Penny Oleksiak of Toronto was sixth in the women's 200 freestyle. In the second stage of the FINA Grand Prix in Canada, British divers won a total of seven medals.

The first leg, which took place in Rostock, Germany, saw Britain win the medal. Robyn Birch of Dive London won the bronze medal in the 10m Platform. In Calgary, Matthew Dixon and Scarlett Mew Jensen each won two medals.

Dixon won the first British medal, scoring 427.15 points to win the bronze medal on the men's 10m platform, while the second was successful when he teamed up with Jensen to win the silver medal on 3 mixed m Synchronized. The pair finished second on 275.10 to take second place behind François Imbeau-Dulac and Jennifer Abel (304.59), while they were 6.06 ahead of Ireland's Clare Cryan and Oliver Dingley.

Olympic 2020 fans can get Olympic Tickets through our trusted online ticketing market place. OlympicTickets2020.com is the most reliable source to book Olympic Packages.

[goalhofer]

Last NHL Player To Wear Each Jersey Number: Pittsburgh

1: Casey DeSmith (2017-present)

2: Chad Ruhwedel (2016-present)

3: Olli Maatta (2013-present)

4: Justin Schultz (2015-present)

5: Zach Trotman (2017-present)

6: Jamie Oleksiak (2018-19)

7: Matt Cullen (2018-present)

8: Brian Dumoulin (2013-present)

9: Pascal Dupuis (2007-16)

10: Garrett Wilson (2018-present)

11: Kevin Porter (2015-17)

12: Dominik Simon (2015-present)

13: Nick Bonino (2015-17)

14: Chris Kunitz (2008-17)

15: Riley Sheahan (2017-19)

16: Josh Jooris (9 games 2018)

17: Bryan Rust (2015-present)

18: Frank Corrado (7 games 2016-18)

19: Jared McCann (2019-present)

20: Janne Pesonen (7 games 2007)

21: Michel Briere (1969-70)(retired for Briere 2001)

22: Matt Hunwick (2017-18)

23: Scott Wilson (2015-18)

24: Matt Cooke (2008-13)

25: Andrew Ebbett (2013-15)

26: Steve Sullivan (2011-12)

27: Nick Bjugstad (2019-present)

28: Marcus Pettersson (2019-present)

29: Marc-Andre Fleury (2005-17)

30: Matt Murray (2015-present)

31: Sebastien Caron (2005-06)

32: Mark Streit (2016-17)

33: Greg McKegg (2017-18)

34: Tom Kuhnhackl (2015-18)

35: Tristan Jarry (2016-present)

36: Bryan Rust (2014-15)

37: Carter Rowney (2016-18)

38: Zach Sill (2013-15)

39: Jean-Sebastien Dea (3 games 2018)

40: Oskar Sundqvist (2015-17)

41: Daniel Sprong (2017-18)

42: Nick Johnson (2009-11)

43: Conor Sheary (2015-18)

44: Erik Gudbranson (2019-present)

45: Josh Archibald (14 games 2015-18)

46: Zach Aston-Reese (2017-present)

47: Simon Despres (2011-15)

48: Tyler Kennedy (2007-13)

49: Brian Gibbons (2013-14)

50: Martin Brochu (1 game 2004)

51: Derrick Pouliot (2014-17)

52: Rusty Fitzgerald (1994-96)

53: Teodors Blugers (2018-present)

54: Never issued

55: Philip Samuelsson (5 games 2014)

56: Eric Tangradi (2009-10)

57: Marcel Goc (2013-15)

58: Kris Letang (2006-present)

59: Jake Guentzel (2016-present)

60: Never issued

61: Never issued

62: Carl Hagelin (2015-19)

63: Tim Wallace (2008-11)

64: Never issued

65: Ron Hainsey (2016-17)

66: Mario Lemieux (1995-2006)(retired for Lemieux 1997)

67: Alex Goligoski (3 games 2008)

68: Jaromir Jagr (1990-2001)

69: Never issued

70: Never issued

71: Evgeni Malkin (2006-present)

72: Patric Hornqvist (2014-present)

73: Jack Johnson III (2018-present)

74: Jay McKee (2009-10)

75: Ryan Reaves (2017-18)

76: Richard Park (1995-96)

77: Paul Coffey (1987-92)

78: Never issued

79: Never issued

80: Never issued

81: Phil Kessel; Jr. (2015-present)

82: Martin Straka (1997-2004)

83: Never issued

84: Never issued

85: Never issued

86: Never issued

87: Sidney Crosby (2005-present)

88: Never issued

89: Never issued

90: Never issued

91: Never issued

92: Tomas Vokoun (2012-13)

93: Petr Nedved (1995-97)

94: Never issued

95: Alexei Morozov (1997-2004)

96: Never issued

97: Never issued

98: Never issued

99: Never issued (retired league wide for Wayne Gretzky 2000)

[wheelhousehockey-blog1]

REDRAFTING: 2011 NHL ENTRY DRAFT

HOCKEY GM ADVICE

In past redrafts, we have had the top 4 change places a bit and even a new number 1 overall, but in 2011 this is the first time we have an entirely different top 4!

.tg {border-collapse:collapse;border-spacing:0;} .tg td{font-family:Arial, sans-serif;font-size:14px;padding:10px 5px;border-style:solid;border-width:1px;overflow:hidden;word-break:normal;border-color:black;} .tg th{font-family:Arial, sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:normal;padding:10px 5px;border-style:solid;border-width:1px;overflow:hidden;word-break:normal;border-color:black;} .tg .tg-oys0{background-color:#00009b;color:#ffffff;border-color:inherit;text-align:center;vertical-align:top} .tg .tg-zv36{font-weight:bold;background-color:#ffffff;border-color:inherit;text-align:left;vertical-align:top} .tg .tg-31q7{font-weight:bold;background-color:#00009b;color:#ffffff;border-color:inherit;text-align:center;vertical-align:top} .tg .tg-c6of{background-color:#ffffff;border-color:inherit;text-align:left;vertical-align:top}

# Team Selected Hockey GM Advice Re-draft 1 Edmonton Oilers Ryan Nugent-Hopkins Mark Scheifele (7) 2 Colorado Avalanche Gabriel Landeskog Nikita Kucherov (58) 3 Florida Panthers Jonathan Huberdeau Johnny Gaudreau (104) 4 New Jersey Devils Adam Larsson Sean Couturier (8) 5 NY Islanders Ryan Strome Gabriel Landeskog (2) 6 Ottawa Senators Mika Zibanejad Ryan Nugent-Hopkins 7 Winnipeg Jets Mark Scheifele Jonathan Huberdeau (3) 8 Philadelphia Flyers Sean Couturier Ondrej Palat (208) 9 Boston Bruins Dougie Hamilton Brandon Saad (43) 10 Minnesota Wild Jonas Brodin Dougie Hamilton (9) 11 Colorado Avalanche Duncan Siemens Mika Zibanejad (6) 12 Carolina Hurricanes Ryan Murphy Vincent Trocheck (64) 13 Calgary Flames Sven Baertschi John Gibson (39) 14 Dallas Stars Jamie Oleksiak Richard Rakell (30) 15 NY Rangers J.T Miller Boone Jenner (37) 16 Buffalo Sabres Joel Armia William Karlsson (53) 17 Montreal Canadiens Nathan Beaulieu J.T Miller (15) 18 Chicago Blackhawks Mark McNeill Victor Rask (42) 19 Edmonton Oilers Oscar Klefbom Oscar Klefbom (19) 20 Phoenix Coyotes Connor Murphy Josh Manson (160) 21 Ottawa Senators Stefan Noesen Andrew Shaw (139) 22 Toronto Maple Leafs Tyler Biggs Adam Larsson (4) 23 Pittsburgh Penguins Joe Morrow Jonas Brodin (10) 24 Ottawa Senators Matt Puempel Vladislav Namestnikov (27) 25 Toronto Maple Leafs Stuart Percy Phillip Danault (26) 26 Chicago Blackhawks Phillip Danalt Jean-Gabriel Pageau (96) 27 Tampa Bay Lightning Vladislav Namestnikov Sven Baertschi (13) 28 Minnesota Wild Zack Phillips Ryan Dzingel (204) 29 Vancouver Canucks Nicklas Jensen Ryan Strome (5) 30 Anaheim Ducks Richard Rakell Tobias Rieder

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Keeper Bubble Players – my dilemmas, your dilemmas, let’s hash this out (July23)

Working hard on the Fantasy Guide. It’s out on August 1 but you can always pre-order it. I’m about halfway through now. Two weeks to do the first half, eight days to do the second half. Just another year in Fantasy Guide Land.

*

Welcome to DobberHockey’s first annual Keeper Bubble Week. I took the deadest week of the summer and factored in that many leagues have their keeper deadlines fast approaching, and decided to have all the columnists dedicate their work and analysis to a single theme – the bubble players. Keep ‘em or drop ‘em? I’ll get to those below. First, let’s take a quick look around the hockey world…

*

You may recall a few weeks ago when I discussed players who have babies and the impact that it has on their season, particularly with their second child (link on that is here). Getzlaf was a great example – his season after his second baby was terrible. Last year Cam Talbot’s wife had twins. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on what happened to him in 2017-18 after that. Further to this, guess who had a baby on the weekend? Alex Pietrangelo. Guess who else had a baby? Alex Pietrangelo. Also, guess who had a baby on the weekend? Alex Pietrangelo. I’m not repeating myself, the guy actually welcomed triplets into the world! Congratulations to the Pietrangelo family, but let’s look at this from a fantasy hockey standpoint – if you think having three infants in the house in August, September and October will have no impact on his training schedule, then you’ve never had kids.

Look at this way – if Pietrangelo has a great season in 2018-19, then we’ll know he’s a pretty neglectful father! All kidding aside, I think even with a nanny to help, you still love your kids and you want to spend time with them especially during the first few months. It’s going to have an impact. I haven’t reviewed St. Louis yet, but whatever my formula pits out for Pietrangelo, I’m rolling it back an additional five or six points (and just hope it doesn’t get any worse than that).

*

Jacob Trouba was awarded $5.5 million in arbitration on a one-year deal. He becomes the second highest paid defenseman on the Jets. If feel more bullish about him if he didn’t miss at least 17 games in four of his last five seasons. He saw the second most ice time on the entire team last season (average per game), but was third on the totem pole behind Dustin Byfuglien and Tyler Myers in terms of PP time. Now that he’s making more than Myers and the Jets could lose Myers to free agency next year, I think you’ll see that flip-flop. Trouba’s PP time should get a boost. If only I could feel comfortable projecting 80 games out of the guy, I’d feel so much better about him.

*

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Frozen Tools upgrade has completed the next big step. The Report Generator is now up. Instant load. All the reports. Take a look here. Get any data you want, and we’re taking suggestions on more in the forum. If there’s info you need and we don’t have it – we’ll get it.

*

BUBBLE WEEK!

First, my three leagues. Three different sets of rules, three different strategies, I’ll offer up my thinking.

LEAGUE 1 – Entering its 29th season. The most basic of my leagues – 20 players, 13 teams, keep everyone, top 12 players for points counts, points get traded with the player, and keep the same rosters for the NHL postseason where again the top 12 players count.

I pick 10th and 23rd. Team: Ovechkin, Marchand, Backstrom, Panarin, Granlund, Marchessault, Arvidsson, Tolvanen, Drouin, Zucker, Labanc, Atkinson, Johnson, Palat, Kovalchuk, Coyle, Killorn, Koivu, Marleau, Spezza

Bubble players: Killorn, Koivu, Marleau and Spezza

Decision: This one is obvious because I already set up my team for the draft back at the trade deadline. Marleau was acquired strictly for playoffs (which I won) and Spezza was a throw-in. Those two are gone. Sure, Marleau could get 45 points on this upgraded Toronto team, but so can Killorn and I think Killorn has more upside and is younger. Koivu also has more upside, though if there was a draft pick available and a player I like at the draft I’d be very comfortable just dropping Koivu and making the pick.

LEAGUE 2 – The ‘Forecaster’ League, with the group that puts together the magazine. I joined it in 2008 and won three straight from I think it was 2012-2014. But haven’t won in a bit. This one is Keep 12, points-only but extra bonus for Hits, SOG and PPPts. No playoffs. Regular hockey rosters (4C, 8W, 6D, 2G 4 bench, IR). I have lots of draft picks, all in the first 8 rounds.

Keeping: MacKinnon, Johansen, Granlund, W. Karlsson, Keller, Carlson, Klingberg, Gardiner, Talbot, Bishop, Hellebuyck.

Already dropped: Wennberg, Maroon, Aberg, Koivu, Gaudette, Little, Valimaki, Oleksiak, Ferland, Petersen.

Bubble: Atkinson, E. Lindholm, Montour for the final Keeper.

Other assets: L. Andersson, Frost, Heinen, Matheson, Tuch

Strategy – First of all, I have an Excel file that each of you should also have. It lists my players – each league has its own tab. And the players are listed in order of their value to me. At a quick glance I can always evaluate what I can afford to give up. It’s just a great way to evaluate your situation.

Second, I hate dropping players. If possible, I try to use them as sweeteners to other deals. Short of that, if a player is on the bubble I might be fine with trading a keeper for a draft pick, and replace that keeper with a bubble player. And that’s what I did here. I received an offer of a fifth round pick for Jake Gardiner. I had him upgrade the pick to the fourth round and did the deal. Brandon Montour has now been moved from the “Bubble” section to the “Keeping” section. I’ve already done Anaheim in the Guide and can tell you that I projected 41 points for him. I’m guessing Gardiner will be low-50s when I get to the Leafs. But Montour had 27 more shots, 45 more hits and three fewer PPPts. I’m guessing all three of those numbers get better for Montour in the year ahead and according to our league rules, the guess is that these two players will turn out to be equal or pretty close to it. And I just gained a fourth.

Now I have to choose between Cam Atkinson and Elias Lindholm, who I firmly believe will be Johnny Hockey’s new linemate. Atkinson had 33 points in his last 33 games and he’ll have a great season with Artemi Panarin. However, Panarin is looking like he’ll be traded. Furthermore, Atkinson’s value is hidden. As in – nobody is going to draft him in the first round. I can drop him and then draft him in the second round (if Panarin stays) or the fourth round (if Panarin is traded). So that’s my plan. But until that point, I’ll be trying to work in a trade. I hate wasting assets.

LEAGUE 3 – Keep everyone, rosters are 33 players, 15-team league, top 12 forwards, top 4 defensemen, top 2 goalies count for points-only.

I’m not going to list my roster as it’s too big. I’ll just reiterate that I hate just dropping a guy. I’ll have no choice on two obvious ones in Nathan Beaulieu and Nick Bonino. But other players I didn’t like I felt I could get something for them. First I traded Jordan Staal and Richard Panik for third- and fourth-round picks (it’s a four-round draft). Staal is Staal – you know exactly what you’re getting and that’s not going to get better or worse anytime soon. Panik is a wildcard. He’s averaged 40 points the last two seasons and he’s 27 years old. But he had 15 points in the last 20 games and Arizona has a good-looking top nine now. I have in the Fantasy Guide 42 points for Panik, with line combos that look like this:

Panik – Derek Stepan – Clayton Keller

Christian Fischer – Alex Galchenyuk – Vinnie Hinostroza

Brendan Perlini – Christian Dvorak – Michael Grabner

Because I don’t think Panik’s upside is any higher than 60 points at best, getting a third for him I felt was good value. Especially when I’m the one using the pick. My last few third rounders: Lehkonen (2017), Sheary (2017), Brossoit (2017), DeBrincat (2017), Grimaldi (2016), Gostisbehere (2016). That’s not a bad track record, even with the warts!

Then I traded Aaron Dell, Lars Eller and Jordan Weal. All three were on the bubble for me – and now all three are off my team. I got a second and a third for them. I had been hoping Dell would sign with Detroit or Buffalo and as soon as he signed with San Jose, I didn’t want him anymore. Martin Jones just starts his new contract this season, so he’s locked in no matter how bad he is (I think he’s bad). Eller’s best years are still ahead of him, in my opinion, but that’s not saying much. I think he’ll get 40 points this year, but with upside for 55 if Kuznetsov or Backstrom get hurt for 20 games or more. We’ve seen him flourish when he sneaks onto that top PP unit. As for Weal, I just didn’t like his chances. I haven’t given up all hope as he always seems to overachieve and I really like those players. But I can do better with a good draft pick and his inclusion helped me get a second rounder instead of another third.

The last move I made (so far) was actually going the other way. But only because there was a deal to be had. A GM made his bubble players available and I took a stab at getting two of his best for my lowest draft pick (a future fourth rounder). That got me Jaret Anderson-Dolan and Samuel Montembeault. I think I would draft JAD in the third round in September, so that’s a deal right there. And Montembeault is a bubble player – I’d probably draft him fourth, but that’s not set in stone and dependent on the goalie options out there. I like Montembeault but he’s three years away at least. Two years of no help at all, followed by a year or two as a backup. And that’s if it works out.

Jaret Anderson-Dolan (more on him here) is a sure-fire NHLer. But will he be second-line 60-point guy with upside for 70? Or a third-line 45-point guy? I don’t think he has a long wait time. Maybe a year away. I like that about him.

*

I went to Twitter for your Bubble questions. A bubble player varies from league to league, but when you start having to decide between Tarasenko and Voracek, or Draisaitl vs. Pastrnak – I don’t consider it a keeper league! There’s no wrong answer! Try flipping a coin. (Note: I answered these ones right on Twitter)

If your league is a Keep 3, a Keep 5, or even a Keep 8 – to me that’s a one-year league where you get to hold onto a couple of guys. True keeper leagues allow you to actually recognize your roster from one year to the next because you get to keep 10, 12, 15, 20 or even all of your players. Keeper leagues!

With that in mind, here are some Twitter queries:

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Who’s got a better likelyhood of holding a top six spot, Beauvillier or Athanasiou?</p>— Barry Miles (@barryhmiles) <a href="https://twitter.com/barryhmiles/status/1021168514659385345?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

Athanasiou’s fancy stats indicate that he can really make an impact and put up first-line points on Detroit, perhaps even better than Gustav Nyquist. And he probably deserves that spot over Nyquist. But zero chance that happens. This is another stepping-stone year for Athanasiou. So my answer is Anthony Beauvillier. If Jan Kovar fails to make things happen in the NHL as a top sixer, then Beauvillier will get his chance. And then, whether or not he makes that chance work is up to him. If Kovar clicks, then Beauvillier is a depth guy again. So in that sense, Athanasiou is a safer play. I have Athanasiou for 42 points. Nice and safe. So this question becomes – do you want safe, or do you want to swing for the fences?

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">12 team keeper pool, keep 10 ..  G/A/PPG/PPA/+-/PIMS/BLKS/Hits    my final 2 spots are  between Shea Weber , Shatts, Koneckny and  ROR <br><br>Thanks</p>— REALMUTT (@REALMUTT1) <a href="https://twitter.com/REALMUTT1/status/1021162914923679745?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

Kevin Shattenkirk and Ryan O’Reilly. No way I keep Shea Weber.

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">12 teams keep 15. G/A/P/PPP/S/H/W/GAA/S%. Keep 4 of the following- Perron Stastny Stepan Bailey Zetterberg Bjugstad Weber E Staal OReilly Lundqvist.</p>— Sean Liebich (@seanliebich) <a href="https://twitter.com/seanliebich/status/1021160832082722816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

Eric Staal and Ryan O’Reilly are the obvious keeps. I like Derek Stepan and Josh Bailey over the other forwards there. I already spoke about Weber. I believe Bailey will get the star treatment now that he’s coming off a big year, even losing Tavares I think he’s still safe for 55 points. A contract like the one he signed will see to it that he gets optimal linemates and PP time. And Stepan has a great supporting cast around him and is safe for 52-55 points. However, if you are hurting for goalies, then you have to keep Henrik Lundqvist over Stepan. But if you have two other good ones, then King Henrik can go.

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">$100 cap auction league. G,A, points, Ppg, shg, I have to choose one of E. Lindholm, Hertl or Konecny for $3 I’m struggling hard with it. Thanks</p>— Kyle Webb (@KyleWebb03) <a href="https://twitter.com/KyleWebb03/status/1021136988743794688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

I like these choices as it embraces three players who ‘could’ break out in the year ahead. But I am the most bullish on Elias Lindholm so that’s my selection here.

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Cap Keeper League 6F 4D 1G <br>G A PIM SOG PPG PPA Hits Blocks<br><br>Keep one “prospect” <br><br>Jake Virtanen vs. Timo Meier</p>— Geoff Boldgloom (@geoffboldgloom) <a href="https://twitter.com/geoffboldgloom/status/1021131975275380737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

This one is only close because Jake Virtanen has so much potential in terms of hits. I would still keep Timo Meier here.

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-cards="hidden" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Points only.  1g, 3d, 9f.  Auto protected until game #83 for prospects.  Finished 17th and 18th out of 18 in last 2 seasons.  Protect 10.  Final 2 spots between C Coyle, Klefbom, Hanifin, Matheson, Zacha. Must protect at least 1 D out of this list.</p>— Alexandre Lussier (@lusshouse) <a href="https://twitter.com/lusshouse/status/1021117363918376961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 22, 2018</a></blockquote>

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

This one is incredibly hard. And I’m only looking at the defensemen here, as they are harder to replace in-season. So between Mike Matheson – huge upside and I’m so very certain he will eventually get there, but it will be another ‘stepping stone’ year for him (projection: 35 points). Nick Hanifin – on a new team, steadily improving, should be a safe play for low-40s (I project him for 44 this year), but doesn’t have Matheson’s upside. Oscar Klefbom – still Edmonton’s only option for PP QB and could ‘get it’ at any moment (projection: 38 points for this season). I think my two picks here will be Matheson and Hanifin – one for immediate results and the other for future results.

*

One more note – I’m hard at work on the Guide, so once again I’m late with the Goalie Rankings. They’ll be out in early August.

*

See you next Monday. Enjoy Keeper Bubble Week!

  from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-keeper-bubble-players-my-dilemmas-your-dilemmas-lets-hash-this-out-july23/