#ric flair selling

[wrestlingarsenal]

Flair gives Orgasm Face as if he's being violently railed by Roddy Piper. THIS sado-masochistic drama and willingness to sell with gusto is what makes a great pro wrestler.

[flowitch]

LMFAOOOO BILLY

[dilf-in-peril]

I think the match is Ricky Steamboat vs Ric Flair at Chi-Town Rumble 1989.

Punk is watching old matches and working out 👀

[blowflyfag]

Pro Wrestling Illustrated: August 1995 

It’s a Man’s Sport? Yeah, Right!

Women are taking over the workplace in modern society–and taking over in wrestling, too. Men are no longer making all the key decisions. 

By Liz Hunter

Sherri Martel can remember the times when, as a little girl growing up in New Orleans, she and her friends would go to the playground for an afternoon of unsupervised fun. Within 15 minutes, there would be a dozen parents on the scene trying to break up a disturbance. Little Sherri had done it again. 

“It got to the point after a while where none of the other kids would sit in the sandbox with me,” Martel fondly recalled. “To me, that was a little wrestling ring, and I’d just pick up the little kids and slam them in the sand. I guess I knew what I wanted to do with my life at an early age.”

Tamara Murphy Fytch has slightly different memories of her earlier years. Fytch didn’t punch, kick, or slam anybody, but she controlled her peers nonetheless. From 10th grade on, Fytch was president of her student council, head cheerleader, captain of the girl’s varsity soccer team, and president of the debating society. Not surprisingly, her peers voted her “Most Likely To  Succeed” During her senior year of high school. 

“Everybody knew me,” Fytch said. “I had my hand in just about everything, and you know what was the most awesome thing of all? Even with doing all that, I still pulled straight A’s. I’ve known I’m something special for a long time.”

Fytch and Martel are two of the very special women ruling the power meetings in wrestling these days. They are mentally and emotionally stronger than a lot of the men in the sport. Physically, Martel can give many of the guys a run for their money (did anyone catch her beating on The Nasty Boys at WCW Uncensored?). Anyone who still thinks wrestling is a man’s sport has another think coming when wrestlings power gals are around. 

Fytch. Martel. Woman. Miss Texas. Alundra Blayze, BullNakano. These are the women whose power, intelligence, and beauty shrink any man down to size when they’re around. Wrestling’s female power brokers wear the pants in this sport. 

Take Martel, who has managed Harlem Heat to the WCW World tag team title. Here’s a team that had little going for it until Sister Sherri joined the fold. Under her management, they have risen to the top of the tag team heap. 

[Woman doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her. Sandman probably wouldn’t have accomplished nearly as much in ECW without her. Heck, she’ll even try to claw Cactus Jack’s eyes out if she sees fit.]

“Harlem Heat is great because I don’t let anybody step on them,” Martel said. “Anyone who thinks they can pull a fast one on my men is in for a big surprise. I’ve been around this game long enough to know the ins and outs, and one thing I know is that when you have the belts, you call the shots.”

Martel has also won the AWA and WWF Women’s titles and managed WCW World champion Ric Flair and WWF Intercontinental champion Shawn Michaels. She is not only the top female manager in the world, she is possibly the top manager in the world, period. 

“I don’t see who’s had more success managing more top wrestlers lately,” said broadcaster Tony Schiavone. “Sherri has power, and she knows how to use it.”

So does Fytch, who made relative unknowns Chris Candido and Brian Lee into somebodies… and champions. There’s little doubt Fytch’s star will soon rise much faster and shine much brighter. She’s just one of those self-made women who need only one little break to turn it into something big. Fytch is smart, beautiful, and aggressive.

Woman hides her intelligence behind a beautiful, though somewhat slutty exterior. She knows sex sells, and a sexy image can help advance a woman’s career. This Woman, who managed The Sandman in ECW and had managed former World tag team champions Doom in WCW, rules with a lace first.

Who can forget the night when Tommy Dreamer, despite being beaten to a bloody pulp by a Singapore cane-wielding Sandman, refused to kiss Woman’s feet? She said Sandman would stop only if he did this. But doing so would have been giving in to her power. There is no doubting who controls Sandman. 

“I don’t like men telling me what to do,” Women said. “It’s not my style. Men think they can have their way with me because I’m beautiful and sexy, but it’s all part of a power trip, and the power is mine.”

[Sherri Martel regularly assists in the physical assaults by The Nasty Boys and doesn’t care what the consequences are. Is it so hard to believe she bullied all the other kids in the sandbox when she was little?]

Kimberly, “Dirty White Boy” Tony Anthony’s “Dirty White Girl,’ has been a bit more subservient than most women in wrestling, but still plenty powerful. Last year, she knocked out a wrestler named The Hornet with a single punch. 

[Alundra Blayze is beautiful, but she’d rather be known as the woman who made women’s wrestling popular again. As for Bull Nakano, she’s as tough and powerful as most men.]

There’s no doubting Miss Texas’ beauty or power. She is still the only woman ever to be ranked on the “PWI 500.” Long live Missy Hyatt, who’s out of the sport, but not out of our hearts or minds. The image of Missy lives forever. And she wasn’t merely the blonde bombshell to end all blonde bombshells. She was an effective manager, valet, and Tv commentator. 

[Would Chris Candido ever have won the NWA title without Tamara Murphy Fytch’s expert guidance? No way, she says. In just two years, Fytch has become one of wrestling’s most powerful managers.]

Alundra Blayze, formerly known as Madusa Miceli, and Bull Nakano, the WWF World Women’s champion, do their work mainly in the ring. Although she is extremely beautiful, Blayze would rather be known as a world-class wrestler than a world-class beauty. Her goal is to make women’s wrestling as popular in North America as it is in Japan. 

[Miss Texas has made life hell for practically every woman who has appeared in the USWA… and a few men, too. After beating Hamie Dundee two years, she became the first woman ever to be ranked in the “PWI 500.”]

Nakano, who has never been accused of being beautiful, is one of the world’s most violent wrestlers. Many men are afraid to go one-on-one with her. Nakano is so tough that she has scared away a host of potential contenders to her title. 

Luna Vachon scared away many suitors before marrying the equally scary Vampire Warrior in 1994. It takes a strong man to simply look at Luna, much less confront her. But Luna is the prototype of today’s strong female in wrestling. She is much more concerned with actions than appearances. She isn’t afraid of being aggressive. Luna doesn’t care if men approve of her. 

Like most of the other women in wrestling, Luna approves of herself, and that’s all that matters.

[dilf-in-peril]

Oh, he's so pretentious they say, and then he just claps like a seal when a guy gets shoot kicked in the face or Ric Flair sells his leg by going "my leg, ah, my leg."

[heartsoulrocknroll]

Revolution rocked so hard. My first live wrestling show in seven years, and I couldn't have picked a better one.

I cannot believe I got to see one of my all-time favorites Roddy Strong win a championship with my own two eyes!!!! I yelled like a crazy person when the ref counted three. No one deserves it more!!!!!! I loved his match with Orange here. That top turnbuckle backbreaker sent me over the edge. Also cannot believe that after over a year and a half, I happened to be there on the night that the great Kyle O'Reilly made his return!!!!! I have waited so long. What a moment that whole sequence of Roddy winning the International title and Kyle showing up was for me.

Ospreay vs. Takeshita was truly incredible. I was freaking out the whole time, but I absolutely lost it when Ospreay took that disgusting brainbuster on the top turnbuckle, and then Takeshita got dropped on his head with Ospreay's nasty Tiger Driver '91 toward the end. Easy match of the year contender and possible five star match. I have to watch it back.

This was my second time seeing FTR live. They are still the best tag team in the world and wrestled a fantastic match against Claudio and Moxley. Claudio looked great here as well. I was so excited to get to see him work. But seeing FTR not only lose, but lose in our great state of North Carolina by being choked out??? Revolting. I could have thrown up. What kind of booking is this???

This was my first time ever seeing Bryan Danielson kick heads in live, and I was just thrilled. He is incredible, nothing short of a legend, and his match against Eddie was great.

Also my first time seeing Samoa Joe live, and it was so awesome getting to see him walk in and out as world champion and getting to hear him light people up with chops. So glad he retained. Swerve and Hangman were very good in the match as well. Swerve deserves a run with the title soon, but it wasn't time yet, and it doesn't need to happen in anything other than a one-on-one match anyway.

Finally, I feel so beyond lucky and privileged to have witnessed Sting and Darby going absolutely off-the-rails insane in Sting's last match ever. This match was filled with awesome spots -- Sting going through two tables (and no-selling the second table bump beautifully) and being thrown into glass in the corner of the ring, then Darby literally trying to kill himself by Swanton bombing himself off a 20 foot ladder inside the ring and through two panes of glass set up on chairs outside. I mean truly, wtf is wrong with him?? It's one of those spots that no one will ever forget. The Young Bucks played their antagonistic role phenomenally, getting heat from the audience like no other team could. Having Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat at ringside was awesome as well. I couldn't be happier that Sting got the end to his career that he deserved. Loved seeing him make his entrance with his sons dressed as different versions of Sting and hearing him give his retirement speech after the match. It was all so special, and I'm so glad I got to be there for it.

Also shout-outs to Jay White, Daniel Garcia (the rightful TNT champion), Christian Cage, Jay Lethal, and Kris Statlander, who were all fantastic. What a show!!!!!!

[fatsamsgrandslamspeakeasy]

"All right everyone. November 5th – ElectionMania. The choice is yours. You can go with President Trump, Kane and The Undertaker or you can take Kamala Harris, Dave Bautista and Tim Walz. Choose wisely – the nation depends on it,”

Well since Bautista was caught using and selling steroids, and knows he won't be admitted to the WWE Hall of Fame, of which Trump is a member, I have to ask Davey boy: Want some sour grapes to go along with your whine???? Oh no, that's right you have plenty of your own.....And Trump being a draft dodger?? Look at the loser horse you're backing in Touchdown Timmy! People who live in glass houses, etc.....Bottom line Davey: I don't need the tampons. I'll choose the 3 KINGS over 3 deuces (douche) bags any day! In the immortal words of Ric Flair.....

[wrestlingisfake]

All In preview

Swerve Strickland vs. Bryan Danielson - Danielson won the men's Owen Hart memorial tournament to earn this shot at the AEW men's world title. Taking the title of this show to heart, Bryan is going "all in," promising that if he does not win the title here, he will never wrestle again. If he succeeds, it will be his seventh world championship, counting the five he captured in WWE and his one run on top at Ring of Honor. If he fails, his historic career will suddenly stop, just six weeks before the 25th anniversary of his in-ring debut.

On September 9, 2023, Danielson stunned fans by announcing plans for his retirement: He promised his daughter that he would be wrapping up his full-time career around the time of her seventh birthday (May 9, 2024). It was quickly reported that Bryan intended to continue working as a special attraction on a part-time basis, presumably with at least a handshake agreement with AEW. If that's still the plan, then losing this match wouldn't make sense--Danielson promised to never wrestle again if he loses, so even an occasional comeback would violate the stipulation.

In the past few weeks, however, Danielson has suggested his neck is in rough shape, and he will probably need surgery before the end of the year. Now, it's possible the neck issue has changed his plans, and he's doing one last final match now because a lengthy part-time run is no longer an option. It's also possible he's just talking like that to put the question in your mind, so you won't see it coming when he wins the title and finishes up later, on his own terms. There's no way to be sure--Danielson knows how to lie, especially about his physical condition, in a way that hypes up his matches. We don't even really know he needs neck surgery--we just know he's been saying he does.

For me this uncertainty enhances the match. I really believe in Strickland as the world champion, and I don't want to see him drop the belt right now, especially not as a lifetime achievement award to a guy who's about to retire either way. On the other hand, I think Swerve has already had a good run, and losing the belt here won't hurt him, or stop him from getting it back later. So it's easy to think that AEW will make the easy decision to do a title change. But everybody thought that about Strickland vs. Ospreay in June, and Swerve came out of it a stronger champion for beating the odds. Would they have the guts to feed him an even bigger name, and his entire career? I just don't know.

Danielson has talked up this match by saying he'll give 100%, as in "101% is not physically possible." One way or another, it won't be pretty watching him sell the idea he's hitting his limit. Swerve has a lot of big moves that I wouldn't wish on a guy with a history of neck and concussion issues, and he's going to bust out all of them and show no mercy. Sooner or later the champ will have the challenger in the Ric Flair/Ol' Yeller situation, and we know he'll take the killshot. The only question is if he'll hit it, or if he'll be wondering the next day how he got beat by a man down to his last 1%.

Toni Storm vs. Mariah May - Storm is defending the AEW women's world championship. She endorsed May, her protege, to earn this shot in the Owen Hart women's tournament. But as soon as Mariah won the tournament she viciously turned on Toni to reveal her true colors. That was enough to sell me on the match, but then Storm later told the challenger "ARE YOU PREPARED TO DIE? BECAUSE I AM!"

This is one of those grudge matches that cannot, must not start with a lockup and exchanging holds. Toni is out for blood, and I can't believe she won't get disqualified in the first five seconds. Mariah is acting like she's already dispensed with Storm, and there's nothing left to do but take the title. In character, I'm not sure she's prepared for a bloody brawl--I think she'll hold her own in a bloody brawl, but I don't think she's expecting one.

I hope this goes at least 25 minutes. This is easily the best story AEW has even done with the women's division, and maybe the best story they've done period. Toni is on fire as champion and you can make a great case for keeping the belt on her for another year. At the same time, there's never going to be a better time for her to leave it all in the ring and end up in a pool of her own blood, wondering if she's hit rock bottom. There's a lot of ways this match can go and I'm good with all of 'em.

MJF vs. Will Ospreay - Ospreay lost the AEW international title to MJF on July 17, so this is the rematch. Since winning the title, Max has unilaterally renamed it the "American championship," and cast himself as jingoistic American hero, presumably to antagonize the crowd in London. Whoever wins here will defend the title--whatever it'll be called--against PAC on September 7.

The big plot point for Ospreay over the past few months has been the Tiger Driver '91, a modified double underhook powerbomb where you drop all of your opponent's weight on the back of his neck. Ospreay used to use the move fairly regularly until he "hurt" Bryan Danielson with it in April. After that he retired the move, over the objections of his evil mentor Don Callis, who thinks he should be more ruthless. Ospreay was tempted to use the move against Max but his hesitation arguably cost him the championship. The question now is whether it's ethical to use the move against a total douchebag like MJF. On August 21, Danielson weighed into the debate, simply telling Will "Do it."

I assume these two are going to try to have a total classic like their first match, but it probably won't be another hour-long epic. I think the most interesting outcome would be Will using the move to win, and then Max spends the next six weeks wearing a neck brace pretending to be crippled. But they've managed to drag out this tiger driver question for way longer than I expected, so maybe they won't pull the trigger here either. Maybe Max can simply retain, but I can't believe they're going to keep doing this "American champion" nonsense once they get back to the US, the one place it will not and has not worked as a heel gimmick. So I'm pretty sure Ospreay has to win, although I'm not sure how far he'll be tempted by the dark side to get there.

Mercedes Mone vs. Britt Baker - Mone's AEW TBS championship is at stake, but her STRONG women's title is not. Baker returned from a lengthy convalescence on June 30 to challenge the champion. The added wrinkle to this match is Mone's new enforcer, Kamille, who will almost certainly get involved.

I was hoping Mone would come to AEW pretty much since AEW started up, and I quickly hit on Baker as her opposite number. So I've been wanting to see this matchup for a long, long time. I'm so over promo battles where two women argue over which of them led the revolution, but with these two I actually buy that they both care about that sort of thing and each think they have an exclusive claim. They can't co-exist, they have to fight, I need to see 'em fight.

I feel like this could either be very smooth or very clunky. Both women work very well within their comfort zone, but it doesn't feel like Mone has found hers yet outside WWE, and Baker strikes me as the type that's better when working with her friends. For all I know these two have hit it off backstage and already developed a rapport that will lead to a great match, but I don't want to set my expectations too high. Honestly, even a clunky match here would feel like A Happening, so I could probably live with that.

It feels too early for Mone to end her undefeated streak or drop the TBS title. Then again, I can't see Baker just losing and moving on. Maybe Kamille interferes for the finish, to give Baker an excuse to get a rematch? Yeah, that seems like the best outcome.

Jack Perry vs. Darby Allin - Perry is defending the AEW TNT title in a coffin match, so a coffin will be placed at ringside, and the only way to win is to trap your opponent inside it. Other than that, there are no rules. Allin secured the match on July 24 by [checks notes] threatening to set Perry on fire, which he had already done before on May 26. They really hate each other, folks!

So yeah, they're in Wembley fucking Stadium and they need to top, or at least equal, the flamethrower spot. I don't know what that means, but it probably won't involve the coffin, or the finish. Maybe a fish tank full of piranhas? I wouldn't put it past either of them. Anyway, Jack just last week revealed his new custom title belt, so I can't believe he's going to immediately turn around and lose it (although it would suit Darby's aesthetic just as well). Unless Sting is in town for this match, I think Perry should retain; and even if Darby does win I'd put good money on him losing it back Jack at All Out.

Chris Jericho vs. HOOK - Jericho won the FTW title from Hook on April 21, and now Hook finally has his rematch. Per Jericho's stipulations, if Hook fails to regain the title, he can never again challenge for it. The whole storyline is "Heel Heat 101" but Jericho's Learning Tree gimmick is so deliberately insipid that I've given up on the whole thing. I'd love for Hook to just win the belt back and put this feud to bed, but I don't expect to get anything I want out of this.

Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler vs. Max Caster & Anthony Bowens - Matt and Nick, the Young Bucks, are defending the AEW tag team title. This is a three-way, so the first man to score a fall on any opponent will win the match and the championship for his team. The Acclaimed (Caster & Bowens) had earned a two-on-two title shot, but FTR (Dax & Cash) interfered to cause a disqualification. That led to FTR vs. Acclaimed to determine who gets the title shot at this show, but--wouldn't you know it?--that match got fucked too, to set up a three-way. That sure happens a lot, don't it?

I hate three-way matches, and I think I've explained why often enough. Any two of the three teams could have a better matchup. But the thought process is that all three need to be in a title bout at Wembley. As if there's no way to put one of the teams in a big #1 contender's match, which they could have spent the past four weeks building up if they'd thought to do it. Anyway, each team thinks the other two are overrated and entitled and selfish, and two of them aren't going to settle anything here, so they'll square off later in the match that actually matters. I don't care who wins here.

Four-way London Ladders match - This will be four teams of three, vying for the AEW trios title in a ladder match. I'm not sure if "London Ladders" means there are special rules. Typically they'd set up ladders all over the ringside area, and hang the title belts above the ring; the first man to climb up and retrieve the belts wins the match and the championship for his team. Since Christian Cage is involved there was an allusion to his history in WWE with TLC matches, but I don't know if that makes any difference. Even in a regular ladder match, there's no rule against using tables or chairs.

The Patriarchy (Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, and Killswitch) are the defending champions here. The Bang Bang Gang (Juice Robinson, Austin Gunn, and Colten Gunn) have been trying to get the belts back since the Patriarchy injured Jay White, leading to White and the Gunns having to forfeit the title. The House of Black (Malakai Black, Brody King, and Buddy Wayne) earned a title shot weeks ago, but the Patriarchy took out Buddy Wayne to eliminate the competition. The fourth team--PAC, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta--was thrown together at the last minute and won a qualifying match earlier this week. Pac had been feuding with the Bang Bang Gang, but his usual partners Rey Fenix and Penta El Zero Miedo seem to be on their way out of AEW. So now he's stuck with Claudio, a man he violently despised last year, and Claudio's little buddy.

Sheesh, it took longer than I expected to list all the rules and participants and backstory. You already know it's going to be a trainwreck and Christian will sneak through the backdoor to get a cheap win and retain.

21-man Casino Gauntlet match - The winner receives a future title shot for the AEW men's world championship. Two men will start in the ring and each additional man enters one by one. (I'm not sure if the intervals are timed or totally arbitrary.) The twist here is that the match can end at any time on the first pinfall or submission. So if a winner is declared before it's your turn to go the ring, you'll be SOL (and you know what that means).

We may never actually know who all 21 participants are supposed to be, but as of this writing they've announced: Adam Page, Dustin Rhodes, Evil Uno, Kyle O'Reilly, Mark Briscoe, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, Orange Cassidy, and Roderick Strong. Cassidy earned the right to start the match, so we at least know he'll see action. I'm sure the other announced names will also appear. But this is like the third time AEW has done this match, so by now I could see them doing an angle where an advertised participant flips out when he doesn't even get to participate.

I'm not sure when the winner will get his title shot, or even who the champion will be by then. (Darby Allin already has a title match waiting for him, whenever that will be.) So it's tough to predict the future here, but I guess the easy pick would be Orange.

Willow Nightingale & Tomohiro Ishii vs. Kris Statlander & Stokely Hathaway - This is booked for the pre-show. The winning team will get the right to name the stipulations for September 7, when Statlander challenges Nightingale for the CMLL women's world title. Per the standard rules for mixed tag matches, when one team makes a tag, the other team has to also switch places, so that the legal participants in the ring are always the same gender.

Kris and Stokely turned on Willow back in May, so now Willow is bringing in some backup. I don't want to say Stokely isn't a wrestler, because he was trained and worked matches in the indies. But for most of his career he's played a wimpy manager like Bobby Heenan or Jimmy Hart. So the idea is that Stoke would be fucked going up against a "real" wrestler, and he's mega-fucked squaring off with a MEAN GUY~! like Ishii. Statlander figures she's strong enough to carry the match herself, and I suppose we'll get at least one Stat vs. Ishii spot, but the rules won't make it easy to keep Hathaway safe.

Dustin Rhodes & Katsuyori Shibata & Sammy Guevara & Ross Von Erich & Marshall Von Erich vs. Matt Taven & Mike Bennett & Brian Cage & Toa Liona & Bishop Kaun - Another pre-show match. Dustin and the Von Erichs defeated Taven, Bennett, and Roderick Strong to win the ROH trios title. Then, Dustin and Guevara won the ROH tag team title from Taven and Bennett. Shibata is a long-time friend of the Von Erich family. I'm not sure what Cage, Liona, and Kaun are doing here. I guess Taven and Bennett's associates in the Undisputed Kingdom are unavailable. I mean, Strong is here but he's in the gauntlet match...actually, I was under the impression Taven, Bennett, and Rhodes are too. So I don't know what we're doing here, except giving London a chance to see Shibata and the Von Erichs. So I figure Rhodes's team will win.

[dalekofchaos]

How about we don't trivialize what happened to Janel Grant and Vince's other victims by making this a tribalism "GOTCHA" moment by calling WWE the Harvey Weinstein of wrestling.

AEW has done a lot of good will since Dynasty and what does Tony do? puts his foot in his mouth and pours all that good will down the drain. All he had to do was elevate AEW to crazy heights just go ahead and promote the company and not mention WWE. But he couldn't fucking help himself.

And hey, you shouldn't be saying this, WHEN YOU HAVE DON CALLIS, RIC FLAIR, JAY LETHAL AND CHRIS JERICHO ON YOUR FUCKING ROSTER! Don't throw stones when your hands are full of that kind of filth. RIC FLAIR'S ENERGY DRINK IS ADVERTISED EVERY FUCKING WEEK!

Reminder that Tony Khan forced a woman to sign an NDA, in order to protect Chris Jericho, & to save aew’s tv deal. HE IS COMPLICIT, DON'T THROW STONES ASSHOLE!

Also a reminder that Vince McMahon is no longer with WWE, while Tony downplayed the allegations, and harboring multple sex pests on his roster

We didn’t forget Tony. Wanna know what else we didn't forget? you answered questions about sexual harassment in a fuzzy hat and sunglasses, hired Ric Flair, and called said sexual harassment “internet rumors”

And Tony? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SELL A NECK INJURY, not CTE

And how fucking dare you make that comparison? There are men and women who work for WWE who are in no way at fault for the actions of Vince McMahon's depraved actions. it's a slap in the face to the good people and pro wrestlers that work there. NO ONE is defending the sex trafficking/offending pieces of fucking shit. How fucking dare you.

You could've said "Vince is the Harvey Weinstein of wrestling and WWE while are competitors are in the right direction, I'm excited about both our futures, we are both good for professional wrestling" but saying WWE was ridiculous. It was a pathetic attempt to seem like a try hard competitor, makes Tony look pathetic and desperate and made AEW look bad.

Comparing a wrestling company to Harvey Weinstein on national television is just straight-up defamation. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

GROW THE FUCK UP TONY!

[docholligay]

Hot Sexy Free Purim Spiel

Hey y’all on tumblr who are Jews and Jew-adjacent

A few years ago, I took over the Purim stuff for my congregation, and I actually wrote my own spiel. I wasn’t happy with the free stuff they were pulling of the internet.

To that end, I was thinking today: Why do I not offer this up, as a free spiel?

So: If you want a copy of this spiel for your congregation, just hit me up in my ask box with your email address (remember it’s gotta be in hiimjewish AT jewmail DOT com for tumblr to let it through) and like, I dunno tell me something about yourself. I’ll get you as a reader on the google doc. Note that it’s a little light on some stage direction because I wrote this for me--I’ll be working on that and have it done at least for next year, if not this one.

My only ask is of course you not sell this, record it to be sold, etc, but I’m not concerned about that. Credit is nice but honestly I don’t care that much if Jews around the country/world know I wrote a series of Timely Jokes.

I REALLY want to hear if you use it though, because that would thrill me. Tell me people laughed, even if they didn’t.

Snippets in case the idea intrigues you:

Narrator: (In the style of a ring announcer) There are some who say he was the punishment for not putting the last Amalakite to the sword. Some say he’s the physical manifestation of the fact that anti-Semitism is always with us. And some people say, he was just a jerk. Ladies aaaaaaannnnndddddd gentlemen, the villain of tonight’s tale, HAAAAAMAAAAANNNNN! Booooo!!!

Haman enters through the back, really hamming it up, Ric Flair, Zoya the Destroyer style: *ad libbed* You love to hate me!  Oh, sad Jews, so cranky at me! Hahaha, I have the favor of the king, it doesn’t matter what you think!   

Xerxes: Haman! My beloved advisor. 

Haman: Yes, your Majesty, with shining locks and the body of a God, mellifluous voice echoing through the dreams of the people?

Xerxes: That’s what I like about you, Haman, always honest. Haman, *Throws an arm over his shoulder* Haman, we need entertainment. I’m thinking...I’m feeling something, calling in the air tonight. 

Haman:Oh lord…

Xerxes: What?

Haman: Wait thousands of years, your Majesty, you’ll get it. 

Xerxes: *Nods, swinging the wine bottle out toward the people* You know what these people would like to see tonight, Haman? 

Haman: I hear Hamilton is very big right now.

------------

Contestant: I’m Mariska, I’m a Capricorn, I like long walks on the gulf, baking cookies, and doing whatever my husband says. 

Xerxes: *looking over at Haman* You know, Capricorns are just so bossy. I wonder if her moon is in Leo? 

Haman: Better not to risk it. Next!

Contestant two: I’m Megan, a preschool teacher--

Haman: Ugh, a woman of EDUCATION. 

Xerxes: You’re right, I don’t want a wife smarter than me. 

Haman: Next! 

Narrator: It’s easy to have rules for yourself, down on paper, but here in the real world, things get a lot trickier, once something, or someone, is before you. 

Esther: I’m Ha--Esther, and I enjoy cartography, reading, putting those little pearls in my hair for banquets. 

Xerxes: *Standing up* That’s it. She’s the one. 

Esther: I’m a Capricorn…

Haman: Not to ever doubt your judgment your Most High and Kingly but she said she loves to read, and you know those Capricorns…

Xerxes: What are you talking about? *swig* I’ve always loved Capricorns. Young lady! *He marches up the “stage” and puts the crowd on her head* You shall be my queen, and let it be known through ALL THE LAND, that we shall have ANOTHER great party, this very night!

---

Haman: God this is Vashti all over a---UGGGHHHHH!! You scrape to me, hit the dirt, right now. Or I’ll--THE KING SAID SO!

Mordechai: I answer to God, not to you, you little pischer. I have not bowed to any man, and I don’t intend to start now. 

Haman: And who is this God? 

Mordechai: Well, isn’t that the question? Some say God is the holy in all of us. Some say God is the traditions we have put together over the years, that bind our people. Some say God is a sacred bond--

Haman: No, no, what is the THING, your people WORSHIP? 

Mordechai: This is what I was explaining. How can there be only one idea, through so many people?

Haman: RAHHHH!!!!

Mordechai, unimpressed: We’re Jews, this is how we--

Haman: Jews! Thank you, that is what I was looking for, 

Mordechai: You know, Rabbi Akiva said that…

Haman: No, no, thank you, have a nice day, I’m going to murder all of your people now, goodbye. 

Narrator: Haman had no patience for details or debates, and maybe, if he accepted any counsel but his own, his story might not have ended where it did. Or maybe it would have anyhow, men like him are usually determined to ruin themselves. But we aren’t he to talk about what he might do, in some other story, but what he did in this one.

[blackpoolcombatwriter]

Okay good, for a second I thought they were going to make Matthew and Nicholas sell for Ric Flair.

[wfodicks]

#658: SALTBURN AND THE REDNECK AGENDA

Mike, Travis and Drunk discuss the following topics…. The King of Cola rates Inca Kola “The Golden Cola”: 7.8 Ric Flair is selling a bunch of stuff… deez nuts mother mother vs. post malone marinating/first dates….. ai news drunk vegas stories…. potw: saltburn/eat the rich: the gamestop saga/equalizer 3 well, bye. https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/rrxx26/wfod011424x.mp3

[memecucker]

People are talking about hating the Ric Flair portrayal in Iron Claw but honestly i thought it was fine like it’s not a Ric Flair biopic and it worked perfectly fine for a movie character

What does bother me way more on that level was Bruiser Brody being shorter than the Von Erichs and would sell and was willing to take the pin in a tag match

[danwhobrowses]

My Highlights of Full Gear 2023

And we're back with the wrestling.

Full Gear has a lot of moving pieces looking to build; a variety of title matches, grudge matches and friends fighting one another.

Let's see how what I enjoyed

Spoilers for the PPV of course

Buy In

Stoke staring daggers at Eddie while the crowd still pops for him

'He listens to anime soundtracks' - okay Stokely's a heel in my mind now anime soundtracks slap

In wrestling lore, Anne Hathaway is Stokely's adopted sister XD

That overhead belly to belly into the turnbuckle was so fucking clean

GOODNESS that guitar crack into Sonjay (for a retired backroom staff member Sonjay always takes a lot of bumps)

Ortiz and Eddie together makes me wonder, Santana for next ROH champ?

Eddie's commemorative popping the crowd with Renee - but he was too busy cussing out Stoke to cuss out RJ

I think we don't appreciate enough that the Blackpool Combat Club as a faction exist outside of alignment; all four dabble in heels and yet Claudio is the face against Buddy, Bryan is a face for the Continental Classic, but Mox and Yuta are heels against OC and HOOK (surprised we didn't have a FTW title match here)

This match slaps as well, Claudio and Mr Rhea Ripley are just not human

Cheeky Nandos Kick foreshadowing

Gunns' entrance still slaps, it's perfect and it also elevates BCG when they use it together

In this house we chant 'JOE!' repeatedly

MJF with 365 days on his robe

LA Lakers attire too

'I'm a poor' sign - who isn't these days bud?

Gunns have been flying around everywhere in this match

ADAM COLE BAYBAY!

Leg injury angle adds to the drama too

Main Card

Starting with a big trios match

A fucking children's choir doing Christian Cage's entrance (with a new tron)

I mean 'he comes more often than herpes' is apt for Ric Flair

Adam Copeland with Darby's paint, and those coats

Crowd continuing Metalingus

You can tell when two wrestlers have trained together, the synergy is there

Darby, just. Why?

Darby Allin loves his spine as much as Kota Ibushi loves his neck

He's climbing Everest AFTER THIS???

Nick Wayne's heel development is almost as good as Dominik Mysterio's I must admit

Clever from Christian climbing under the ring to sweep Adam and then lure Sting out to give Darby no options

It was of course a tease, but it was probably wise to keep Copeland and Christian apart all match, save it for Revolution or Winter is Coming

Sting getting an ovation

It felt quite rushed, but OC going over was the right call

I like that Shida has been using a lot of colour to counter Toni's black and white

Kingston putting his titles on the line definitely raises the stakes for the Continental Classic

Brody and Bill staring each other down at the start of the match

MEAT Chants are still alive

Malakai just flung that ladder into Cash

Suicide Dive into a Ladder!?

Red Hart, Sky Blue and Purple Cobras

Hart still has an amazing moonsault

That was a great snap for Code Blue

I thought Sky would take it but good for Julia

Billy Boy Bird is All Elite and he still has Elevated Bruv

Swerve gets the Nana Dance with a trope Entrance

Hangman didn't even wait for the Entrance

I've been guilty of stapling myself in my youth (I didn't realise the 'metal face' is what makes the ends bend and wanted to see for myself) so I know that hurts like a motherfucker

He's fucking drinking his blood!

Swerve's Killshot instincts have awakened

DVD on a Cinder Block!

PILEDRIVER ON THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE!?

TOMBSTONE ON A BARBED WIRE CHAIR!

I do love that spot when someone beats 10 by rolling out the ring (this time dragged)

And the Chain comes back

I don't think you can't call that a match, that was a WAR

GIVE THAT MAN A BELT, GIVE THAT MAN THE WORLD TITLE BELT

Omega selling a story with sentiment

Kenny you need to rename it something other than 'You Can't Escape' because buddy they can escape

Bucks did the low blow

Jericho kicked out of the BTE Trigger

Choices of V Trigger

Matt Jackson OWA

BCG with the mocking limp

MJF with the ambulance return spot

Jay White's heel work has been great throughout

Nigel literally hiding in the corner

The table collapsed and Max hit the elbow drop anyway on pure ground

TOPE CUTTER!?

Conclusion There was a lot of great wrestling on this card.

However, between the opener and the TBS title match it did feel like some matches were very rushed; OC/Moxley was a complete sprint, same with Storm/Shida, and the Ladder Match felt rather messy to try and contain all the spots they wanted. Also TK seriously, I get Toni has done a massively over reinvention but I am begging you to let Shida successfully defend a title in front of a PPV crowd, for god's sake man.

I didn't quite like the Jets beating the Bucks either, with Ibushi signed there's not much reason for their team to exist and now they have an anytime tag title shot. I guess it does end Kenny's PPV losing streak but still.

And I must say I was on the fence about the Main Event, I get using drama to narrate the match but the leg injury did end up weakening Jay White's very strong build that he couldn't beat a one-legged MJF, and too much shenanigans leave that for every Roman Reigns defense in the last year (all 5 of them).

But on the plus side, some amazing storytelling, some electrifying spots, the TBS championship being given to a young and deserving talent, and just an all timer brutal war of a match. It's not the strongest of AEW's current strong PPV runs but it's still pretty damn strong.

Match of the Night: Texas Death Match Best Entrance: The Patriarchy's children's choir just beats the Nana Dance trope Best Attire: Sting, Darby and Adam Copeland just ekes out Statlander's Globogym Purple Cobras outfit Best Performance: Hangman/Swerve tied Spot of the Night: So much of the Texas Death Match could've gone on here but I'm giving it to MJF's over the top rope and out the ring cutter because I did not see that coming

[dilf-in-peril]

Week 37/2023

Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair (NWA Chi-Town Rumble) - Rewatch. I haven't seen all of their many matches yet, but this one ramps up to such great drama and I really, really appreciate Ricky's selling the more I see of it. It's just so much more minimal and real and pretty than so much of the bouncing, flailing, outright goofy selling you see at the time.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (WWE Judgment Day 2005) - Rewatch. It's definitely got some down time and moments of heat that leave me cold but Eddie's death cold killer act with the soulless eyes and occasional glimpses of sadism is so good. The post match angle is just *chef's kiss* acting!

[blowflyfag]

"Gimmick" for the wrestling ask!

I love any spooky gimmick. Give me a horror themed character and I’m eating it up every single time.

I love The Brood too. I love vampire media and it’s steady so heavily related to VTM which I’m also obsessed with so it makes me really excited about any match with them.

Clown gimmicks get me as well. CLOWNS BELONG IN WRESTLING I THINK THEY FIT GREAT.

I love the match where Doink the clown has like… 4 clones of himself that fight??? And HE DOESNT EVEN SHOW UP IN THE MATCH ITS GREAT.

I don’t know if this counts either but TRIPLE H’s REALLY OVER THE TOP SELL IN THE MATCH WITH HIM AND RIC FLAIR AGAINST SHAWN MICHAELS AND RANDY ORTON IS SO FUNNY.