#rhian would work well in the person a role

[pigeonwhumps]

Person A: "Thank you for coming to get me so quickly, you must be sick of constantly drawing the short straw though, huh?"

Person B: "What do you mean?"

Person A: "Well, ever since you joined, you've always been the one who ends up getting sent to come save me. Before then, everyone always drew lots whenever I got in trouble, and whoever lost was never exactly quiet about how annoying it was to be stuck rescuing a disabled analyst. I'm honestly surprised you haven't filed a complaint yet!"

Person B: "...Is that what they told you?"

[ndostairlyrium]

✨ OC Tag Game ✨

I was tagged by @greypetrel to roast my OCs make Sophie's Choice kind of decisions but these are some fun decisions 👌 thank you so much dear!! Also I'm stealing the magenta and purple color scheme because I'm obsessed lol

I'm tagging here so y'all can avoid this monsterpost and go straight to the tag game lol @underneathestars @sparatus @daggerbean @bruxbea @n7viper @transprincecaspian @that-one-halfwit and those whose name starts with J.

I had to dig deep in my personal can of worms so grab a drink, a bunch of popcorns and a new pair of eyes because this is going to be one of the longest posts I've ever made. I'm not joking, I'm apologizing :'D

Favourite OC:

Ankh/Lav. I played favorites since I created this space and I have no problem exposing my horrible self lol She's the perfect person for me, always challenging herself without being afraid of failure. Even if she has some terrible flaws, she does her best to process them in a mature way. Writing her helped me a lot coming to terms with some things in my personality that I despised :'D she pesters influences the two realms of being, basically. Also she's gorgeous, isn't she? *pinches cheeks* bella de mamma 💛

Newest OC:

HER. The icon, the legend, the witch of the needle. Adra, trans-woman, city elf, much bitch, such stylist. She calls people by titles she invents on the spot based off their personality (which is a thing that cannot be transferred into the english language since titles aren't a thing ;; sigh), she's one that states what's wrong with you right in your face, and she's constantly in pain because of her job - one day is her back, the other it's the eyes, but somehow humidity is always involved. She calls herself old but she's not that old, like, she's in her 60s << anyway, she takes advantage of it a lot for her own entertainment. Coming from the Denerim alienage for then moving to Highever, she has had all the experiences one can think of so she appears a bit skeptical when it comes to big scale projects born from righteous ideals. However she seems to believe in the Inquisition. Well, she trusts its leader and her work, but she's a fereldan through and through so she's leaning more on a "I'm gonna judge the overalls when I see the results" attitude. So far, she's satisfied, but she'll never express it. Queen Anora #1 fangirl.

Oldest OC:

Rhian, daughter of Beathan ...who at the beginning was a Lord of the Rings OC but then she turned into something I'm using for a personal project with a medieval fantasy setting, so now she's running free and untied from a beloved franchise :'D weee There is some bisexual awakening going on but it's actually a story about found family, gender roles, and honesty. I'll get back to it at some point. Hopefully. She's the Mulan of my roster, pretending to be a man to join the local army and having to deal with a big menace while questioning her faith on authority. She's very brave, caustically sarcastic, an average soldier, and has loud opinions that always put her in trouble. Also she's a capricorn, she can open jars and she will let you know until she dies.

Meanest OC:

Lenore fucking Shepard WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED LMAO She's manipulative, controlling, outright nasty towards pyjaks, and would 100% push you towards the zombie horde as bait if that means she gets to save herself plus her squad. She does have a few reedeeming qualities but it's not even slightly enough to grant her a "maybe she's good on the inside" consolation prize. To be fair, she's the most emotional character of the bunch, super sensitive towards children and people that can't fight for themselves. The ones she likes, yeah, but still! Hands down my favorite store on the Citadel <3

Softest OC:

All of th--

Absolutely him. Mr. Rivelli. Wiccan, chemistry genius, chainsmoker, incapable of interfacing himself emotionally with those surrounding him. He's quite the introvert, but he daydreams like a pro and he's very passionated about his interests. He can't look at people in the eye, but he's the most loving and communicative plant dad one could think of <3 He's a soft boy, he just has a lonely nature. He's part of a project called "The Wedding Planner", it's a boy meets boy story, both of the main characters are in their thirties and there's a "what am I doing with my life" type of approach to the plot. It's a 30 years old / mid life crisis type of story, basically, with a wedding. The wedding is important. Very. It makes it cheesy. We worship cheese in this household.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC:

Absolutely him, and it's a coping mechanism. Castor "Cass" Actius never shows emotions because he bottles all them up. And it's a long bottle - he's very tall. I was torn between soft and aloof in this case, but he's definitely one that acts like he's the calmest but in truth he's screaming internally all the time. Probably one of the characters I can relate to the most lol He's all legs and sugars, has a thing for tea, he's the fourth of four siblings and probably the most well adjusted out of them - which says a lot about the state of his family considering he's clinically depressed and an addict << He's a great leader, calm and detached, also he doesn't seem very approachable at first. At second as well, and at third, and at... But he's a cool person with big mom energy. If you're under his command, prepare to be scolded frequently, but also to be defended strenuosly in front of his superiors because you're perfect and you did nothing wrong, never in your life!! Best baker of the bunch, sorry Hawke.

Dumbest (affec-- lmao they wish!!) OC:

These three. They all trusted the apostate. On a scale from Stupid to "I trampled on my feet and now the kitchen is on fire" however, Ela is definitely the one sitting on the ambulance with a blankie on her shoulders. Here, have a banner all for yourself, dumbelina <3

Although I'm talking about that kind of stupidity that makes you look like a fool during situations that require a little bit of foresight or planning. She basically winged some of the most important decisions during the Blight, the others were taken because of her strong sense of honor and justice, but like You can't apply that all the time and then go surprised pikachu face when people call you out for being impulsive.

Smartest OC:

Him. Hands down. Serge "Twinkles" R'lyeh. He's MacGyver with the sensitivity of Tori Amos, also he's your therapist and your sugar daddy at the same time. He's an aerospace engineer turned infiltrator turned spy turned college teacher turned practical fx specialist turned distinguished officer during the war turned loving husband and best uncle... Like, there's so much to him! He lived a tons of lifetimes at once because he's talented brilliant incredible amazing showsto-- Probably the second favorite, because he seems like he's perfect but he has a problem taking responsibilities. He's also very childish, egocentric, he second guesses you as if it was a competitive sport when it comes to things he can do better, and his mouth is the envy of every sailor from here to the Attican Traverse - because he swears a lot but also for the other reason *cough* I kinda loved having to deal with someone that was on top of many skills, it made so much room for planning a big downfall <3 oh, and he fell. Hard. I'm gonna stop but know that I would keep writing about him for other 30-40 paragraphs, gushing and blabbering incoherently because he's my special self absorbed space kitty, trust me on that. I'll just say that he built a working real life deluminator when he was a fluff. he smort

OC I'd probably be friends with:

None of them, they're terrible people with a lot of problems and I made them like that so if I had to meet them they'd ki--

It's them. Ankh and Kerry. Who else? I need the extrovert friend who ignores my rain checks and comes to my doorstep with a pile of books concerning the strangest topics, and the chill friend who can cook a brilliant pasta while he listens to me complaining about the post office. Also, they're the ones I'm the least afraid of. On a more serious note, they have a huge deal of compassion and care; he's an empath, she's an active listener. Also I vibe with creative people that show a huge passion for what they're doing, plus I wouldn't mind having to bury some animal bones from time to ti-- cook and bake. I like to roam around the kitchen with my friends and talk about whatever. We talk a lot in this household <<

This was a lot and I'm sorry but y'all read the introduction of this blog, the blorbos are my Jub-Jub Bouvier and I can't help myself :'DDD

[gins-potter]

Casting Thoughts

Yes, I did a long post when the rumours first dropped but hey now it’s confirmed plus we have characters descriptions, and I’m bored so let’s do this all over again people.  Under the cut because it got long

Sisi Stringer as Rose Hathaway

I said this in my other post but I’m pretty happy with Sisi as Rose.

Visually I think she’s a great fit, I love that they casted a WoC in the main role, and I think if she can bring Rose’s humour and sarcasm to the role, she’s going to do great.

The character description mentions Rose being “fiery and outspoken”, happy to jump into the action, and the strongest fighter in her class but struggling to toe the line, which is all very Rose-esque, especially in the first book.  It sounds to me like they have a good grasp on her character.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t hear more about Rose as a character since she is the lead - it felt like the descriptions for Lissa and Dimitri both gave us a little more to go on - but it is only a very preliminary description so I’m happy to wait for more.

Daniela Nieves as Lissa Dragomir

Daniele is another one who I was happy with straight away.

She’s probably not what I imagined for Lissa visually but that’s not a bad thing either; I will be interested to see if they dye her hair a lighter colour (like a caramel-blonde) but personally that’s not something I need to see for her to be a great fit for Lissa.

I think she has a very sweet face which works well for a character like Lissa but I think she’s also going to be able to stand up in Lissa’s more fiercer moments which is nice to see as well.

The character descriptions mentions her as being “carefree and kind-hearted” who “coasts” through life until a death in the family thrusts her into a new role.  That sounds a lot like pre-series Lissa so I wonder if we’re going to see a bit of that in the show before Andre (and her parents??) die and see that change.  

It’s curious though that she’s described as the younger sister of the heir apparent - which would be Andre - so it sounds like they’ve changed it so Andre was supposed to be King.  Obviously a deviation from the books but I don’t hate it?  I don’t think it would change Lissa’s arc all that much because obviously she was always going to grow up to be an influential royal figure, this just slightly changes the dynamics of it.

The description also specifically mentions that she’s uninterested in “political machinations” and the “hypocrisy of the moroi royal society” which sounds very accurate to book!lissa as well.

All in all I’m very happy with what they’re doing with Lissa.

Keiron Moore as Dimitri Belikov

This is one who’s really grown on me since the rumoured cast list started circulating.  At first I was kind of eh about him but I can really see him as Dimitri now.

I will be curious to see if he grows out his hair or not though.

As far as I know Keiron is not Russian, there’s not a lot about him online, but there’s some instagram activity on his account linking him to UK based companies so that would be my guess as to where he’s from.  They’ve kept Dimitri’s incredibly Russian name so I guess we’re to assume Keiron might be doing an accent and they’re keeping Dimitri’s backstory relatively the same?  I’m not gonna be super mad if they change it just because I think it’s doable for him not to be Russian (I know, I know a whole book is set in Russia but lbr here they could make him from anywhere and just send Rose there in that book).

The biggest thing for me will be his chemistry with Sisi, Danila and Zoey had great chemistry (imo anyway) which saved the move a little for me, so it’ll be important that Sisi and Keiron do as well.  They’ve interacted a few times online which is cute so I’m hoping they were able to do some chemistry reads and that will translate on screen.

The character description mentions Dimitri as being “lethal, disciplined, discreet, and totally committed” as well as living by “a deep moral code” but with more going on “beneath his stoic, watchful surface” which sounds exactly like book!Dimitri to me.

They don’t really specify what his role at St Vlad’s is going to be but they do mention that he is a guardian so I’m assuming they’re keeping some sort of age gap between him and Rose.  They also don’t mention anything about their relationship in the description, be it student/teacher, platonic, romantic, whatever, but they do say he has “an expansive spirit that could threaten to expose the underlying tension between his sense of what’s right and his formal duty to the Moroi.” which seems like a nod to their relationship.

Andre Dae-Kim as Christian Ozera

This was one of my favourite casting choices from the original rumoured cast list and I still love it.

The idea of a non-white Christian makes a lot of sense to me and I think Andre could do a great job of Christian’s aloofness (in the first book) as well as his sarcasm and growing confidence across the other books.

His character description confuses me a bit though: “Intelligent and thoughtful, Christian is the pariah of the school and royal court, due to his parents’ unforgivable societal sins.” sounds accurate enough to the book (although idk if thoughtful is quite the word I’d use for Christian - maybe they mean it in the sense that he’s quiet and keeps to himself?).

Even “Well-read and hungry for knowledge” doesn’t sound that far off, idk if he was *that* particularly studious in the books, but it doesn’t necessarily not make sense either you know?

But “he searches for faith-based answers and discovers a kindred spirit who is also looking for the truth” ??? My cynical, irreverent asshole Christian is now a man of faith? I’m assuming Lissa is the “kindred spirit” (again weird word choice but maybe they mean she’s feeling lost because of the death of her family?) but I just cannot see Christian as being particularly religious.

I’m trying to keep an open mind about these changes because you never know they might play out totally different on screen, but I really hope they didn’t make these changes, particularly that Christian is studious and religious, just because they cast an Asian actor as him (because they feel a little like Asian stereotypes).

J August Richards as Victor Dashkov

This is one that didn’t appear on the original rumoured cast list (as far as I saw) and it’s so different to his description in the books that I kind of don’t have an opinion about it as a casting choice.

I’ve never seen him in anything before so purely on a visual level I think he could be a great fit for Victor, I just think it’ll really come down to how he plays it.

As for this character description: “Victor is a Moroi noble vampire with a heart of gold who’s highly regarded for his role as advisor and political strategist to Moroi dignitaries.” as well as mentioning that he has intelligence and influence, sounds pretty accurate to the book.  Obviously if Andre was the heir to the throne, Victor had to be shifted out of that role, but I think his book 1 arc could still work if they wanted it to.

The “heart of gold” bit obviously made me chuckle and I really hope they threw it in there as a kind of decoy to throw non-book-readers off the fact that he’s actually the villain in book 1/s1.

As for giving him a husband and two daughters, my thoughts are: why the fuck not? He didn’t have a love interest in the original books and I’m always down for more lgbtq+ rep.  My only concern is it maybe playing into the trope of evil/villain characters being queer-coded.  And as for having two daughters, well as long as one of them is Natalie I don’t mind.

Anita-Joy Uwajeh as Tatiana Vogel

Okay this is the most bizarre one imo, not because of the casting, but just the character description.

I mean “Tatiana is a Moroi vampire and political underdog who slowly takes the royal court by storm. Motivated by love and a sense of justice, Tatiana has a unique skill of making herself seem of no consequence until we realize much too late that she was always the one to watch.” sounds extremely Tasha Ozera to me, so like why not just make this character Tasha?  Nothing about this sounds like Tatiana, and Tatiana wasn’t even a Vogel anyway (well Vogel wasn’t even one of the 12 royal families), she was an Ivashkov.

In terms of Anita-Joy herself, well I mean we don’t really have a character to compare her to, is she supposed to be more like Tasha or Tatiana?  She looks fairly young, so my guess is actually on Tasha, but we’ll have to wait to see I guess.

Mia McKenna-Bruce as Mia Karp

This is another one that I was instantly a fan of.

I was so not a fan of Mia’s casting in the movie (I can’t even remember who played her tbh but I really didn’t like it) so this Mia is a lot closer to how I imagine her.

I think she’ll be able to carry Mia’s transformation from bratty social-climber to badass fighter really well.

The character description is interesting though.  “Witty, cutting, and just the right kind of ruthless when necessary, non-Royal Mia has a long-term plan to social climb her way into the ranks of royalty, with all the privilege and freedom that entails.” sound pretty bang on to Mia in the first book.

“A plan complicated by her instant chemistry with Meredith, a Guardian-in-training, as Mia struggles to reconcile her attraction to Meredith with her lowly status.” is an obvious deviation though, and one I kind of love???  Give me all the queer rep, and if we get to see Mia confront the issue of comp-het I’m so here for it.  

It’s kind of funny though because I’ve seen theories that Meredith is a replacement for Eddie and Mia/Eddie has always been my sort of rarepair ship.

The last name Karp is weird af though.  Is she supposed to be Sonya’s daughter?  And if that’s the case I wonder if we’re going to actually see Sonya turn Strigoi in the show’s first season or something and that triggers the change in Mia?  Interesting concept but I’m not sure how the timeline will work.

Rhian Blundell as Meredith

So this is another new one, and tbh I hadn’t given Meredith *that* much though in the past but she’s probably close to how I would have pictured her which is cool.

The elephant in the room with this casting is that Meredith’s role in the books was relatively minor - she was just kind of that character that got brought up whenever R.M needed a dhampir who wasn’t Rose/Dimitri/Mason/Eddie.  So clearly she’s going to have a bigger role in the tv show which I don’t mind but I do wonder if we’re going to lose a character - probably Eddie lbr - in order to have her.  They haven’t casted an Eddie yet as far as we know, but I have seen it pointed out that Eddie’s role in book 1 was pretty small so maybe they just aren’t announcing it.  But there’s also the possibility that maybe Meredith will sort of replace Eddie and be the third part of Rose and Mason’s friendship.

I’m very interested by this part of her character description though, “She has little patience for Rose’s volatility or Mia’s elitism, and regularly calls both of them out.”

Jonetta Kaiser as Sonya Karp

I don’t necessarily dislike Jonetta as Sonya but I am confused by this choice.  She looks fairly young, which tbf Sonya was young-ish I guess, but if Mia is supposed to be her daughter she doesn’t look old enough to have a teenaged daughter.  So maybe Sonya and Mia are sisters? Cousins? Just have each other’s last names for no reason? I really don’t know.  They also look nothing alike.

Other than that, I don’t really have an opinion about Jonetta as Sonya.  Obviously looks nothing like how Sonya was described but that’s not new nor a massive concern for me.  

I can’t really tell just from looking at her, and I haven’t seen her in anything, if she would play a good Sonya.  I think with a lot of the characters it’s going to come down to the personality they bring to the part and the writing.

I looooooove her character description though:  “Quiet, careful and decidedly odd, Sonya is not of royal bloodline and sits out on the fringe of Moroi society, preferring to spend her time in the library or her gardens. Not a person who likes a scene, nonetheless she has a quiet but profound power of her own. She is taken by surprise when a Dhampir Guardian named Mikhail shows interest in her, a relationship that will expose both the brightest and darkest parts of her heart.”  It’s everything I would probably want from a description of Sonya and I’m more and more convinced that we’re going to see Sonya’s descent into madness and transformation into a Strigoi play out in maybe the first season which I am so curious how they’re going to work into the timeline.

Andrew Liner as Mason Ashford

Our last one and another one who doesn’t look remotely like his description but again? Not a surprise and not a problem for me.  He looks like he could play Mason’s goofiness really well as well as be a solid contender for a love interest for Rose.

“Charming, loyal and popular, Mason is Rose’s main competition in the quest to become the No. 1 Guardian-in-training. Though their relationship is casual on her side, he is hopeful she will finally look at him and see him as something more.” His character description makes a lot of sense, maybe him being Rose’s main competition is a bit of a deviation? But I think that’s more an indication that he’s supposed to be a strong fighter which isn’t inaccurate to the books.  The rest sounds great.

Other Thoughts

Descriptions of the show specifically mention friendship and classism as major themes which I am very happy to hear about because those are the two parts of VA that I love the most.

Am a little more worried about it being described as “sexy” though, if they shove a whole bunch of meaningless sex scenes in it just because it’s a YA show I’m not gonna be happy.

Seen the show compared to “Game of Thrones” and “Bridgerton” which at first had me like oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck not good not good not good.  But thinking about it more and trying to understand where Plec’s coming from with that description I wonder if means similar to GoT as in the cut-throat nature of the Moroi/Dhampir society cause I can kind of see that.  And as for Bridgerton I wonder if she’s referring to the kind of social-climbing aspects of it, because again that makes sense and it seems like a theme she really wants to concentrate on.  I hope that’s what she means by those comparisons, or that she just wants to compare it to popular shows to get people to watch it.  The worst would be if she tries to throw in a lot of unnecessary sex scenes to make it like those shows, because I hate when they do that, especially when the characters are teenagers.

Interesting to hear that Plec has known about the series since before Twilight or TVD - not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Seems like it’s actually mostly (or all??) written by Marguerite MacIntyre which is interesting because I know people were worried about Julie Plec - I’ve never watched anything by either of them so I’m neutral at this point.

[devourer--of--books]

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line. 

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head: 

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG. 

Nic is there to be the smart  girl��, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence. 

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship.  Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie). 

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter. 

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon 

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected. 

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical. 

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried. 

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon. 

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

@discjude Thank you! I'm glad it could turn out to be helpful to you! If you keep track, I'd love to know how many you manage to use—that's a cool idea.

I'm thrilled the Japeth one got to you! (When I came up with his list, I specifically thought: "I wonder if Jude would have anything to say about it?")

Kei is kind of a hard one, to me. Off the top of my head, I'd assign him: turning point, in medias res, and third person limited pov, which is just another way of saying he's a little unknowable, and/or I don't know him well enough as a character aside from the role he played in forwarding the plot. And, I'm referencing his sudden appearance and relevance.

⸻

I should have assigned symbolism to someone, so that goes to Sophie, Guinevere, and the Storian.

Arthur (and the kingdom of Camelot itself) get magical realism/fabulism, and haunting the narrative. And a less modern way of defining Lancelot could've been "the vernacular." Also, Merlin gets puns.

And, I came up with overlap for Rhian I and Rhian II: oxymoron, paradox, and passive voice (especially when used to displace blame onto another, or to leave out a designated, clear subject performing the deed).

⸻

Latin is a roundabout way of saying: “Rafal is old.”

(In One True King, I'm pretty sure Sophie freaks out and derides him, calling him "Father Evil.")

The more elaborate explanation is that he does not and will never suffer from "belatedness." (Except, in the context of Soman drawing inspiration from elsewhere.)

Rafal is the “first,” in a sense, which lends to him the special, rare advantage of not feeling self-conscious of his work. He was likely the "innovator" of Evil, to an extent, we could speculate, and I doubt he was predated by too many exceptional villains, especially considering how he's held up by those at The Black Rabbit as some kind of exemplar, the Master of Evil, who gets a free pass in on some basis of his actual prodigiousness, something other than his just being a feared authority figure.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but: every other villain or antagonist, major or minor, in the entire series (not counting the Storian) exists after him in time, or exists because of him and the influence he exerts, the hostility he elicits, the violence he incites. He's the proverbial "giant," and others stand on his shoulders.

Here, I briefly trawled the internet:

"Quick Reference. In Harold Bloom's theory of literary history (see anxiety of influence), the predicament of the poet who feels that previous poets have already said all that there is to say, leaving no room for new creativity. From: belatedness in The Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms » Subjects: Literature."

"Belatedness definition: The state or quality of being belated or of being too late."

In addition, while Latin is mostly a reference to Rafal’s age and his lack of suffering from belatedness, it's also the provenance of lots of words from the English language. (I know the Greeks as epic poets came first, but Latin works better for these comparative purposes.) That's why I tied the concept of the etymological roots of words into his list.

If Rafal were a modern scholar, I'm tempted to say he'd pursue the study of philology because it works well for him, as a symbol:

"A theory of language development which traces the ‘family tree’ of modern natural languages like English, French, and German back to their historical origins. The central point of interest of such research is to show the common ancestry of words dispersed across several languages."

Or the common ancestry of all Evil. Horrible, isn't it?

Plus, we might have a sliver of evidence for this so-called "great inheritance" in Fall. Whatever he said to the demimagus in its language or in the language of sorcery (or if we take into account the spells and incantations of SGE in general) they all seem to be derived from Latin, as is common practice among authors.

Thus, he's old—despite being part of an archetype greater than himself anyway. Because, actually, sorry to break it to you: he’s an “Archimago” figure!

(Well, by my interpretation, at least. And besides that, other literary characters I don't know probably predate Edmund Spenser's Archimago as well.)

Thusly, we have:

Lecherous, Bad "Catholic" Rafal -> Making Good Holy Knights Doubt Their True Love, Truth, and Faith & Posing As An Ancient Hermit Since 1590.

I promise I'm not insane. If anyone would like some reference:

SGE Characters as Literary Things

(Not all of these are actual literary or rhetorical devices; some are just writing techniques, forms, genres, mediums, etc.)

This is a bit abstract, so I’m curious about how subjective these might be. Does anyone agree or disagree? And feel free to make additions if you think I left anything out, or request another character that isn’t here.

Hopefully this makes (intuitive?) sense. As always, I'm willing to explain my thought process behind any of the things I've listed.

Also, anyone can treat this like a “Tag Yourself” meme, if you want. Whose list do you most relate to, use, or encounter?

⸻

LANCELOT (I know—how odd that I’m starting with a minor character and not Rafal, but wait. There’s a method to my madness. Also, watch out for overlap!):

Metonymy, synecdoche (no, literally, to me, these are him.)

Zeugma

Analogy

Figures of speech

Slang, argot

Colloquialisms

Idioms

TEDROS:

Simile

Metaphor

Rhyming couplets

Rhyme schemes

Sonnets

Commercial fiction

Coming-of-age genre

Line enjambment

Overuse of commas

Cadence, prose speech

Waxing poetic, verse (not prose)

Alliteration

Kinesthetic imagery

Phallic imagery/sword sexual innuendos (sorry)

The chivalric romance genre

AGATHA:

Anaphora, repetition

Semicolon, periods

Line breaks

Terse, dry prose

Semantics (not syntax)

Elegy

Resonance

Consonance, alliteration

Pseudonym

Narrative parallels

Realism

Satire

SOPHIE:

Sophistry (yes, there is a word for it!)

Imagery

Italics, emphasis

Em dash

Aphrodisiac imagery

Unreliable narrator, bias

Rashomon effect

Syntax (not semantics)

Diction

Chiasmus (think: “Fair is foul and foul is fair.”)

Rhetorical purpose

Provocation, calls to action

Voice, writing style

Rhetorical modes: pathos, logos, ethos

Metaphor

Hyperbole, exaggeration

Sensationalism, journalism

Surrealism

Verisimilitude

Egocentrism

Callbacks (but not foreshadowing or call-forwards)

Narrative parallels

Paralepsis, occultatio, apophasis, denial

Hypothetical dialogue

Monologue

JAPETH:

Sibilance

Lacuna

Villanelle (an obsessive, repetitive form of poetry)

Soliloquy

ARIC:

Sentence fragments

RHIAN (TCY):

Unreliable narrator

Setup, payoff

Chekhov’s gun

Epistolary novel

RHIAN (prequels):

Multiple povs

Perspective

Dramatic irony

Situational irony

Chiaroscuro (in imagery)

Endpapers

Frontispiece

Deckled edges

Narrative parallels

Foreshadowing

Call-forwards

Foil

Death of the author

RAFAL:

Omniscient narrator

Perspective

Surrealism

Etymology

Word families or 'linguistic ecosystems'

Latin

Verbal irony

Gallows humor

Narrative parallels

Call-forwards

Circular endings

Parallel sentences or balanced sentence structure

Narrative parallels

Foil

Juxtaposition

Authorial intent (“return of the author”)

HESTER:

Protagonist

Allusions

Gothic imagery

ANADIL:

Defamiliarization

Deuteragonist (second most important character in relation to the protagonist)

Psychic distance

Sterile prose

Forewords, prologues

Works cited pages

DOT:

Tone

Gustatory imagery

Tritagonist (third most important character in relation to the protagonist)

KIKO:

Sidekick

Falling action

Dedications, author's notes, epigraph, acknowledgements

Epitaph (Tristan)

BEATRIX:

Pacing

Rising Action

Climax

HORT:

Unrequited love

Falling resolution

Anticlimax

Malapropism

Innuendo

Asides

Brackets, parentheses

Cliché

EVELYN SADER:

Synesthetic imagery

Villanelle

Foreshadowing

AUGUST SADER:

Stream of consciousness style

Imagery

Foreshadowing

Coming-of-age genre

Elegy

Omniscience

Rhetorical questions

Time skips, non-linear narratives

Epilogues

MARIALENA:

Diabolus ex machina

Malapropism

Malaphors, mixed metaphors

Slant rhyme

Caveat

Parentheses

Footnotes

MERLIN:

Deus ex machina

Iambic pentameter

Filler words

BETTINA:

Screenwriting

Shock value

[shiftyarchfey]

Rhian Lavellan as a companion

Inquisitor’s Name: Rhian Lavellan

Race / Class / Specialisation: Elven Rogue (Assassin)

Gender Identity: Male

Varric’s Nickname for them: Freckles

Short bio: No one actually knows where they came from, but he and his twin sister were found by clan Lavellan when they were about four or five years old. They both had scars indicating some sort of blood magic use on them, so the clan suspected they had come from Tevinter, but they had no knowledge of Tevene to back up the assumption. In fact, they did not speak at all, so the clan gave them new names. Slowly, they began to talk and the twins were assimilated into clan Lavellan.

Rhian and his sister Rhaeva were adopted by a couple who already had a daughter, Mi'Durgen. The three quickly became quite close, even more so when their adoptive mother died giving birth to their fourth sibling, Yuurei. The three of them swore to take care of their youngest brother and Mi'Durgen took on the role of their deceased mother. They soon discovered that Yuurei was born blind and had to adjust to help the baby grow up safely.

The family was hit by another tragedy when the biological father of Mi'Durgen and Yuurei died during a hunting accident two years later. The twelve-year-old Mi'Durgen boxed her seven-year-old adopted siblings and two-year-old baby brother through with the help of the clan and got her Vallaslin four and a half years later, allowing her to take better care of her siblings with the newly aquired status. Rhian and Rhaeva were inseperable during these times, taking care of Yuurei when their older sister was out hunting.

But life was still hard and Rhian trained to become a hunter as fast as possible to help his older sister. He sometimes snuck out into the woods to try to hunt small prey, even though the keeper and his sisters forbade him. More than once he was caught and had to work with the Halla, but he didn’t care and did it again as soon as he was free to go. In the process, he became quite well aquainted with the proud animals.

Rhian also begun to see a father figure in the clan’s Hahren, taking interest in the stories and tales of the past. The Hahren noticed and started subtly training Rhian to succeed him, making Rhian quite proud of having achieved such a position in the clan. During the Blight, clan Lavellan hid in the forests, hoping it would not reach the Free Marches.

When Yuurei begun showing signs of magic talent, his siblings worried that he had to leave the clan and prepared to follow their little brother to another clan if that was the case. Their keeper however assured them that Yuurei could stay. At the age of seventeen, Rhian got his Vallaslin, his sister following only months later.

Following a series of unfortunate events involving him and a rather angry village of humans, he slowly became somewhat of an outsider in his clan. Only his sister was so close to him that he would trust her with his sorrows. At the time of the conclave, the situation had worsened and Rhian himself had started to antagonize some of the clan members because they were overly rude to him and his sister. As a result, Rhaeva became involved as well and the keeper decided it was time to put an end to the whole mess by sending one of the twins, Rhian, to attend the conclave. He was meant to infiltrate it via a mercenary group as a spy.

He'd followed the mercenary group of his chosing for a while when he was finally discovered and allowed to join. He told them he had been cast out by his clan, which wasn't that untrue, since his mission could very well go awry and end badly for him. The keeper had told him that the clan would mourn if they heard of his passing, but they would not help him in any way, so Rhian took it as a fancy way of being told to go and never come back. Bitter and angry, he decided to succeed in his mission and then leave with his sister afterwards. The events at the conclave however threw his whole plan out of balance.

What would their companion card look like?

made by @fleshwerks

Recruitment mission: The Dalish Spy/A Letter Home:

Rhian would be found in Haven, in the forest. He had been wandering around since the explosion and can either be convinced to join the Inquisition or be turned away. If he joins the Inquisition, he will ask to deliver a letter to his sister to fulfill his recruitment. This is achieved by talking to Leliana after accepting the quest from him.

If he is turned away, he will leave Haven and won't appear until later in the game. In the meantime he joins the elven clan in the Exalted Plains. There, he will be available for either a second recruitment, joining the Inquisition as one of Leliana's agents or he can be turned away once more. The requirements for his recruitment are the same.

Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven: In Haven, he'd stay at old Tagen's hut (where the notes for Adan are found), sometimes wandering closer to the stables.

In Skyhold he would stay close to the stables, sometimes he'd be found atop the tower (where Trifles Minutiae sometimes is) or in a garden with the Herb garden upgrade.

Personal quests:

 Quest 1: A Letter Home: His recruitment quest, has to be fulfilled to get him as a companion. To start it, you have to ask him about his clan and he will tell the Inquisitor about his sister and ask to let her know that he is still alive. The Inquisitor then has to go to Leliana to ask her to use her connections and ensure that the knowledge of his survival reaches Rhaeva's ears. She will agree to help and upon completion of the conversation the Inquisitor would have to return to Rhian to finish the quest. He will then join and be available as a companion.

 Quest 2: Halla Troubles: Available after reaching Skyhold. He will ask to meet him at the stables, where he will tell the Inquisitor that he found a halla wandering close to Skyhold, alone and possibly hurt. The Inquisitor can agree to check it out (and gain approval) or dismiss him (resulting in an approval drop). If the Inquisitor agrees to seek it out, a new area will appear on the map, close to Skyhold, where the halla will be found. The Inquisitor has to fight a few wolves to reach the wounded animal. Upon reaching the halla, the Inquisitor can choose between deciding it to be too late (resulting in a swift mercy) or trying to help it back in Skyhold. Both result in a raise in approval, the second choice garnering a "greatly approves". After this quest, the halla will be available as a mount and Rhian will stay at the stables more often.

 Quest 3: Close Enough: After entering Solasan, if Rhian is in the active party, he will remark about the structure and old elven writing. If Solasan is completed, he will appear in a cutscene after reaching Skyhold, asking for a scolar to write down his translations of the writings in the temple (he is illiterate in common). The Inquisitor can grant his request (gaining a "greatly approves") or deny him enough funds to complete the translation, resulting in a significant approval drop.

If his request is granted, the Inquisitor will meet him again after returning to Skyhold once again. Rhian will have completed a portion of the translations which will result in a schematic for either a staff, shortsword/dagger hybrid, shield, maul or a bow, depending on the Inquisitor's class and specialization and a permanent reduction to all of Leliana's wartable mission times.

If he is refused, he will still meet after a return to Skyhold, but he will not have succeeded in his translation, thus nothing above will be available. He will brush off the Inquisitor afterwards, claiming he has to work on his translations. There, the Inquisitor has the choice to keep him in the Inquisition or boot him out. If he is removed, he will be found in the Exalted Plains with the Dalish clan, but the Inquisitor will be unable to approach him again.

 Romance Quest: After flirting with him and completing his second quest, he will approach a female Inquisitor with an awkward "Sorry, not interested" (just like Cassandra does). A male Inquisitor will find a pelt in his room and the quest will be to ask each companion if they put it there. Rhian will admit that he did it, but won't tell why. The Inquisitor will have to ask Solas for a clarification, which Solas will give; the pelt is a courting gift in Dalish culture (if the Inquisitor is Dalish himself, this step will not be needed and he is able to confront Rhian directly). The Inquisitor can then hunt for a wolf in the Hinterlands and recieve a wolf pelt, which he can gift to Rhian as a reciprocal of his feelings.

 Second Romance Quest: After allowing him to study the writings, Rhian will encounter a romanced Inquisitor in the Inquisitor's room and in the following conversation the parameters of the relationship will be established.

 How to get their approval: Rhian will approve of finishing the horsemaster quest and riding the course there. He will also approve if you help people in general. The main quests will be rated:

-Declaring that Corypheus must be destroyed or an elf stands for us all = greatly approves

-Recruiting the mages as allies: greatly approves, disbanding the templars = approves.

-Winter Palace: Approves of almost all results that include Briala having some sort of power and/or leaving the situation as it is (Celene in power, piece with both Gaspard and Briala). He will also approve if Florianne isn’t killed.

-Grey Wardens rebuild = approves

-Gain the Sentinels as allies = greatly approves, drink from the Well = greatly approves

-Sharing the truth about Ameridan = greatly approves

-During Judgements, he will approve if the choice for recruitment is taken (e.g. Alexius and Samson), will however approve of killing Erimond

-Will greatly approve upon reaching the inner sanctum of Solasan

 How to get their disapproval: He will disapprove of ignoring those in need. Main quests:

-Being selfish or overy Andrastian during the speech = greatly disapproves/disapproves respectively

-Recruiting the Templars as allies = disapproves, subjecting the mages = greatly disapproves

-Grey Wardens disbanded = disapproves

-Kill the Sentinels = greatly disapproves, letting Morrigan drink = greatly disapproves if Inquisitor is an elf, else disapproves

-Lying about Ameridan = greatly disapproves

-During Judgement: exploiting Tranquility (after 2 decisions to render someone tranquil) = disapproves, killing anyone (except Erimond) = disapproves

 Are they romanceable? Yes

Can you have sex with them? Yes

Are they open to polyamoury? Only if paired with either Bull or Dorian or both

 If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who?

He will begin a relationship with either Bull or Dorian if the Inquisitor romances the other. If the two of them (Bull and Dorian) get together, he will not enter a relationship with a party member but will be heard mentioning a scout.

Who are they friendly with? Varric, Sera, Bull, Dorian, Solas and Vivienne. He has great respect for Josephine and Leliana

Who do they dislike? He avoids Cullen and Cassandra, but does not dislike them

Companion card changes: 

 Loyalty: The card will change from The Moon to The Hierophant after allowing him to make his translations. If he isn't allowed to get help for them, the card will be The Five of Cups

 Romance: The Page of Pentacles

Side Missions: He will give another fetch quest like Mother Giselle's, but for the mounts who have fallen ill if he’s approached at Skyhold and asked after the mounts.

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit?

He cares little about the actual conflict, but sympathizes with the mages due to his brother being one. He hates how the peasants and city elves fare under the whole situation.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: He will not leave of his own, but he will leave if the Inquisitor tells him to after his third quest.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?

Rhian is shown in his cell, sitting and slowly rocking back and forth. He will mumble about the demons attacking his clan and the Inquisition, seeing his sister die before being captured for being in the Inquisitor's company.

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace?

He will be treated as a servant by the nobles and he will retreat to the gardens or a balcony after the introduction. He asks to complete the task and go back to Skyhold, but has no special events.

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave?

He is in awe and very curious. If Solas and/or Cole are in the party with him, he will ask a lot of questions about the fade. The Archdemon will taunt him with how he would die apart from his sister and that she would never know what happened to him, that she might be in danger at this very moment and here he is, trapped in the fade. Rhian will answer that the Inquisition will make sure that Rhaeva knows and that she knows how to take care of herself. He'll sound very doubtful though. His epitah is loss of reality.

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser?

He will have returned to his clan and at the time of the conclave, he will have rejoined the Inquisition with his sister. He worked as a researcher in this time while Rhaeva helps Leliana or takes over the Spymastering for her if she is the divine. Meeting him in Trespasser includes a meeting with his sister.

original meme by oatscarwilde

[pardontheglueman]

Marching Through the Streets of Rhydyfelin

A response to The Wales Arts Review’s Roundtable discussion

Pop Music: Searching for the young soul rebels- why has pop given up on politics.

For an unreconstructed Socialist, who is also a passionate believer in the power of protest music, this opening discussion promised to be the ideal way to launch The Wales Arts Review’s much anticipated Millennium Centre symposium. The inclusion of Rhian E Jones (Critic and author of Clampdown: Pop-Cultural Wars on Class and Gender), Richard Parfitt (Songwriter / Former member of 60ft Dolls and senior lecturer in Music and Performing Arts, Bath Spa University) and Gray Taylor (writer and member of Goldie Lookin’ Chain), on a panel to be chaired by our very own Craig Austin, promised a forensic examination of a key cultural question. We seemed in safe hands, what could go wrong?

Perhaps the writing was on the wall, even before the debate began. Following Adrian Masters and Adam Somerset’s warmly received introductory remarks, most of the critics present decided to take up the undoubtedly tempting option of attending the launch of The Wales Arts Review’s excellent ‘Fiction Map Of Wales’ anthology in an adjoining room. It was immediately noticeable how many younger critics had joined the exodus – further proof perhaps of youthful dis-engagement with politics, or pop, or both?  A quick glance around the Victor Salvi Function Room revealed that just three dozen or so hardy souls had remained behind to man the barricades.

I wasn’t altogether surprised. The evening before, I had cast my bread upon the listless waters of the internet, randomly pitching phrases into the all-powerful search engine like ‘Why pop isn’t political anymore?’ or ‘Why isn’t pop angry?’, to be met by and large, with barely a ripple upon the stagnant pond of political discourse. An inexact science for sure, but somewhat discouraging, nevertheless.There was the obligatory rallying call by Billy Bragg, but little else. A piece in Village Voice, from 2006, another American piece ‘Apocalypse Then: Why Rock isn’t angry any more’, dating from 2010, a short analysis by Smashing Pumpkin’s frontman Billy Corgan, headed ‘Billy Corgan thinks rock isn’t reaching teenagers anymore’ and, lastly, a blog by John Robb, ‘Why politics and music don’t mix anymore’, which provided a glimmer of hope, or, at least one heartfelt response to it did -

‘Well maybe some people just aren’t trying

We are

Hack attack

We just put it out today,

Suburban Mousewife

This seemed to warrant investigation. A quick search revealed a promising list of song titles that made explicit the radical, feminist protest music, I could expect to hear – ‘Botox Skin’, ‘Shopping’, ‘Gulags for Slags’, while their handful of youtube videos unveiled an all-girl, multi-racial, five-piece combo, playing a spiky brand of garage rock, behind a lead singer wielding a mean tambourine. It looked and sounded too good to be true, and indeed it was. A quick glance at their facebook page revealed the following message, dated 13th Feb 2013:

‘Big thanks to all you lovely people for your support. The band is on an extended break at the moment.’

An ill omen perhaps? The waste of a bloody excellent band name, certainly.

Suburban Mousewife

Disappointingly, the panel’s discussion never really got past first base, partly as a result of unavoidable time constraints, but mainly because the debate was strangely sidetracked into a cultural cul de sac which, to paraphrase Dylan, might best be termed Stuck inside of Newport, with the Bristol blues again. This amiable detour down memory lane was entertaining enough in its own right, but did little to address the wider political context the panel was supposed to be engaging with. Craig and Rhian tried bravely to steer the discussion away from the confines of South East Wales with a perceptive analysis of Ben Drew’s ‘Ill Manors,’ a genuinely threatening pop-protest song. Unfortunately, the forum never quite re-focused itself on the central proposition.

Incredibly, the whole debate passed by without any reference to the current political landscape. For the best part of twenty years, the mainstream political parties have been busy stealing each other’s clothes, cross-dressing their way to the mythical centre ground of British Politics. The Tories actually went into the last General Election with a manifesto commitment to ring-fence spending on the NHS, something which Labour, its creator and proud champion, steadfastly refused to do. Furthermore, the coalition between Britain’s then most right-wing and left-wing mainstream parties, desperately cobbled together after the last election, has increasingly served to apply a brake to radical dissent. It’s in this context of unprincipled allegiances and bipartisan accommodations, that the weak-kneed response of today’s musicians can best be understood. Equally, the genuine prospect of this now fragile consensus being smashed apart at the next election by UKIP, and how this just might kick-start a slumbering protest movement into action, went altogether unexplored. It’s entirely possible that the resurrection of Rock against Racism, (the historical significance of which was barely mentioned), may now be more than this 52 yr old pop fan’s ultimate fantasy. In a fevered post-election climate, where the race card will not only be played, but undoubtedly dealt from the bottom of the pack too, an imaginative grassroots resistance could take many forms. Rap against Racism, anyone?

Similarly, Two–Tone, another protest movement with its roots in the politics of race, was never mentioned at all, despite it arguably producing the greatest pop protest song of all time – The Special’s number 1 hit,’ Ghost Town’. Indeed, UB40, a band on the fringes of Two-Tone, charted regularly at the time, with the most radical sequence of songs ever to infiltrate the playlists of mainstream radio. Between March 1980 and August 1981 the band scored five top twenty hits with songs about Third world starvation; ‘Food For Thought’, Racism in America; ‘King’, Nuclear war; ‘Earth Dies Screaming’, Atheism; ‘Don’t Let It Pass You By’, and Mass Unemployment; ‘One In Ten’.

Plausible reasons for the decline of political pop were flagged up, but not followed up, (the immediacy of the internet as a first preference for those with a personal manifesto, and conventional record company insouciance, being amongst the most convincing explanations.)  At the same time, rather too much of the discussion was given over to boxing Ed Sheeran about the ears, not that he didn’t deserve it following his cringe-worthy attempts to gladhand David Cameron at a recent gig. Even here, though, the chance was missed to broaden the discussion, by asking tough questions about why the recent folk revival was so insipid and non-political in nature.

Even where the discussion briefly came to life - every one of the panelists made perceptive comments about the impact of Brit Pop, and particularly the best song to come out of it, Pulp’s ‘Common People’- the theme could not be sustained. In all fairness, I should acknowledge here, the herculean nature of this particular task. It was a time after all, when Tony Blair was ruthlessly triangulating dissident opinion out of existence, constructing New Labour’s big tent, in which there was room for everyone, except Socialists of course. This was an age when there wasn’t any politics in politics, never mind in popular music.

Pop Music may be a young person’s game, but in the year when Pete Seeger passed away, where was the discussion about the role of the elder statesman in popular culture? Billy Bragg, our Seeger, justly escapes censure, but with Springsteen and Young still energetically campaigning in the USA, what do we make of Weller and Costello’s extended leave of absence from the front?

Admittedly, not everything could have been covered in the allotted 50 minutes, though it was clearly a mistake to guillotine the Q&A at the end, where some of these issues might have been taken up. The critic who ignored Craig’s genuine apology, and rattled off her question about the dominance of ex-public school pupils in today’s chart, caused quite a stir. I too, would have liked the chance to ask whether anybody had actually heard of Suburban Mousewife, and if not, whose fault would that have been - the band’s, the mediums or ourselves (in our guise as both critic and consumer)?  Or, I might have posited my pet theory that The Mighty Sparrow’s 1983 Soca classic, ‘Capitalism Gone Mad’, a diatribe about the cost of living crisis in Trinidad, if re-released now, in an age of economic meltdown, might just be the spark that ignites a world-wide revolution. The first verse alone, is enough to persuade me to get the red flag down from the attic, dust it off and start waving it about the streets of Rhydyfelin-

‘You got to be a millionaire or some kind of petit-bourgeoisie

Any time you’re living here in this country

You got to be in skulduggery, or making money illicitly

To live like somebody in this country

It’s outrageous and insane, them crazy prices in the Port Of Spain

And like the merchants going out dey brain

And the working man, like he only toiling in vain.’

The Mighty Sparrow - Champion of the Oppressed

Finally, though the panel saw little cause for optimism, the radicalisation of Scottish Youth in the referendum campaign has apparently made little impression on our guests, there is every prospect of a generational re-engagement with politics. The next election could be something of a watershed for Wales. A crass marriage of convenience between UKIP and the Tories could see things turn ugly very quickly. The cheap shot mantra “English votes for English laws”, has the potential to disseminate the seeds of division throughout the UK, which in all probability, will be seriously destabilised by massive constitutional change and the endless re-packaging of austerity. More positively though, a space seems to be opening up on the left, that an enlightened Green Party are well positioned to occupy.

England might be on the verge of electing the most right-wing Government in its history, at the exact same time that the people of Scotland are voting into office its most left-wing Parliament. Trapped in the vacuum, between two opposing philosophies, Wales will have to forge a new identity for itself. The conditions will then exist for freshly radicalised, free-thinking artists, to do the same.