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memzhay · 3 years

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Cuddle Time

Rhett’s guts were a proper mess this time, and his head was pounding. He felt stupid for not switching off the light in the office before flopping down on the brown leather sofa to rest and feel mildly sorry for himself. He threw his arm over his eyes and tried to take some deep breaths. It hurt.

The last of the main episodes they shot for the day had been fairly brutal by design. It was a trivia game designed to give Link an edge, with all the punishments being things specifically hard on Rhett. An electric shock from a hand buzzer that was no big deal. Link had accidentally shocked himself with it before punishing Rhett. At least they got a few laughs there. Liver, an eyeball, you know, the classics with the final punishment of a congealed blood cube. All things they had done before, some several times, but all together it was a bit much, and now Rhett couldn’t figure out exactly why they had agreed to it. The assurance of views most likely.

Link knew the bit, of course. While he had protested at the pitch, he had eventually agreed. It was supposed to be a treat for the fans who feel Link often has it too hard. Prince for a day. Let Rhett vomit a bit. Link had made it through the first few rounds jovially enough, but by the time the blood cube was up next, he had enough. He intentionally threw the last question, ate the blood cube, barfed like a champ, and had been surly and taciturn throughout Good Mythical More. Well, thinly veiled surliness with a few winks and smiles thrown to the camera for good measure.

Rhett hoped Link wouldn’t be in a mood all afternoon. He was a mercurial thing at times. Usually pleasant, kind, playful, but push him too hard, he can get in his head and spiral. Rhett was interrupted from his thoughts as Link slipped quietly in the room and switched off the light. Rhett sighed in relief at the darkness.

“You alright?” Link asked. His tone was strained, but not angry or sulky. Good. “Want some water or something?”

“Sure. Thanks Link,” Rhett replied. “You makin’ it ok?”

“I’ll be fine. I was a little harsh to Carney after the shoot, and I’m trying to decide if it was too harsh and I should apologize, or just harsh enough to let him know I mean business,” Link confessed.

“You can’t be tough on the writers, man. They didn’t do anything we didn’t agree to.”

“I know. I just didn’t know it would make me feel so sour watching you lose round after round and knowing it was on purpose. I don’t like watching you hurt, and I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. It’s just... Blech! I’ll apologize to him. But I don’t want to just yet. Let him at least think about it a bit. Besides, I’m not exactly feeling top of the line either.” Link opened a bottle of water from the mini fridge, sat it on the coffee table in front of Rhett, and wheeled his office chair over sinking down with an exhausted thud next to the sofa.

“You want the couch?” Rhett offered. “I can get up.”

“Nah. You’re fine where you are. You got the raw end of the deal today, brother.” Link thought a bit. “You remember when we had that white couch in here?”

“Sure,” Rhett answered. “It was big enough that we could both lay down on it when we had too much nastiness. This one just isn’t wide enough.”

“This one’s prettier though, and we are gentlemen of class and distinction these days,” Link said with a wink.

“Oh, you know it! You know, I bet we could both fit on this one if we laid on our sides,” Rhett mused.

“You mean like big spoon, little spoon?” Link asked incredulously.

“Why not! We could pretend Cuddle Queen Jean is here. You look beat, man. Come lay down with me. We’ve got time to relax. We can even skip that next meeting if we want.”

“Hell! We can skip all of ‘em if we want!” Link said defiantly.

“Yeah!” Rhett echoed, sounding macho. “We’re Rhett and Link! Nobody tells us what to do!”

“Except for all the people who tell us what to do,” Link chuckled sheepishly.

“Except for them. Now come be a little spoon,” Rhett said turning on his side and stretching his right arm out in front of him.

Link rolled his eyes, but kicked off his shoes and squirmed onto the couch.

“I’d still like to be the little spoon for a big ol’ dude someday,” Rhett said with a smirk. “Like Shaquille O’Neal or someone.”

“Well, I guarantee you Shaq would not fit on this couch with you!” Link wiggled into place trying to get a little more comfy. He ended up fitted snuggly against Rhett’s body, his head resting on his outstretched arm.

“See!” Rhett said sounding pleased. “We fit just fine! Now I just have to figure out what to do with this arm,” he said holding his left arm aloft and waving it a bit.

“Seems to me, it either ends up wrapped across my chest or on my butt,” Link chuckled.

“Across the chest seems more like a Cuddle Queen Jean maneuver. A sideways Baby Bear if you will,” Rhett said.

“Oh, I suppose I will,” answered Link, a smile in his voice as Rhett draped his arm over his friend.

“Speaking of your butt, what the heck is going on back here?!?” Rhett said in surprise.

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s my harmonica. I picked it up off my desk when I came in. I thought it might cheer you up.” Link reached back and pulled it out of his pocket.

“Can you even play, laying on your side?” Rhett asked.

“Might as well find out,” Link said, bringing the harmonica to his lips, testing it out, and starting a few bars of something that sounded like it belonged around a campfire. Something old. Down In the Valley, maybe? Who sings that? Gene Autry? Burl Ives? Something about someone not loving someone back and being in jail? It was nice, all languid and melancholy.

Rhett’s breathing slowed, and he realized his head didn’t hurt much anymore. He felt the weight and the warmth of Link pressed against him and his stomach didn’t feel that bad anymore either. Through the flat of his hand and his fingertips, he felt Link’s chest rise and fall as he played that sad, sweet song, and his heart wasn’t so uneasy anymore. He hadn’t even realized he felt so low until Link eased the ache of it just by being himself and being near. It happened that way a lot for them.

Turns out it is kind of difficult to play the harmonica when laying on your side and being snuggled by a large man. Link eventually set the harmonica on the coffee table and leaned back. Content.

“We should get some beds for the creative house,” Rhett mused. “That way, when we are feeling ill or down, we can go over there and take a nap.”

“Maybe one big bed,” Link said quietly. “We could do a bit for a vlog like we were talking about on Ear Biscuits where we have a sleepover. We stay up late. We drink. We play games. Then we climb into this big bed and tell the Mythical Beasts goodnight. Really give ‘em something to talk about.”

“We do that, they’ll think we just get in bed together all the time,” Rhett said.

“Well,” Link chuckled, gesturing to their current situation. They laid there laughing for a bit until Link about fell off the couch. Rhett squeezing him to keep him from ending up on the floor.

“Yeah. They would love that! We would even get big bold monogramed pillowcases!” Rhett said with a laugh.

They did miss that next meeting. They had earned the break. They laid there in the dark talking and laughing, sometimes about how people were silly for getting the ideas they get, and sometimes about how they should work assless chaps into a bit for GMM. They could wear underwear under them. Cute ones! With little hearts! No, lips!! It went on until they were ready to go on with their day, or possibly forever. Who can say.

#rhink #rhink fanfiction #rhink fic #Cuddle Queen Jean I miss you

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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592

Let's start off with some basics. Cool, I haven’t started off a survey with basics in a while. What's your name? Robyn, but y’all who have stuck around for a while know that already. How old are you? 21. What's your hair and eye color? Hair’s black, eye color’s dark brown/black-ish. How tall are you? I’m pretty certain I’m 5′1. What's your relationship status? In one. Alright, enough of that. Let's move on to the random shit.

What's your favorite song? Uhhh at the moment it’s Sam Smith’s cover of Donna Summer’s I Feel Love. They did their own twist to it and it sounds incredible. It would probably take a bit to get used to in 2019, but once you warm up to the sound, the cover is just brilliant. What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? It’s a disco song, the lyrics just repeat for three straight minutes and is not supposed to be any deeper than ‘I feel love.’ Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? I love the beat, the sound, and what Sam offered to the song. Have any pets? If so, what are they and what's their names? Yes, I have a cute Santa Claus-outfit-wearing dog at the moment :)) His name is Kimi. Have you ever met your idol? I have never met Kristen Stewart, AJ Lee, Hayley Williams, nor Beyoncé. And I’d most likely pass even if there was a chance to meet any of them; I’m too afraid that I’d mess up in front of them. If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? What's your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) I don’t play a lot myself but I do enjoy watching games on Nintendo or Playstation consoles. If you're in college, what's your major and why did you pick it? I’m in journalism. I picked it because I thought it’s what I wanted to pursue back in high school. I was good at writing and loved telling stories, the obvious path was towards journ so I don’t hate myself or regret picking such a major. But through the years I’ve learned to hate it more and more though – my interests lie within public relations and advertising now, a complete 180 from the world of journalism. How're you doing today? A little too early to be asking that, it’s 7:43 in the morning. I do feel quite nice because classes ended up being suspended today due to the incoming typhoon, but otherwise it’s just mostly meh for now. What color are your bedroom walls? They’re white. Describe your favorite shirt. Right now my favorite shirt is a halter tank top I got for ₱50 at a small tiangge booth in Feliz, hahaha. I just wish I could wear it everyday without anyone judging because I look cute in it. Use this space to tell someone off. I don’t think anyone I know deserves that at the moment. What's your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? Waste of money, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting one lmao. What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? I still have that damn poster of Nam Joo Hyuk up near my bed lol. I haven’t seen a k-drama since 2017, but I’m just too lazy to take it down. How many times have you moved in your life? That I can remember? Two. I think we moved a couple times more when I was an infant. If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? It’s definitely more peaceful, quiet, and much much cleaner in our house; but there are days where I still miss having my cousins and grandma under the same roof. What's your favorite color and why? Pastel pink. It’s pleasant to the eyes and looks good on most stuff. My wallet, purse, main school notebook, one of my highlighters, my phone case, clipboard, backpack, and shoulder bag are all that color hahahaha Do you have a calendar? If so, what's the theme? I have one on my phone; I don’t really need a physical one. No theme because I don’t think my phone allows me to customize my calendar anyway. Have any famous person's autographs? I have AJ’s from a signed poster that I bought like 5-6 years ago from WWEShop. Was never actually sure if she actually signed it but it’s always easier to believe that. Do you draw well? That’s the worst thing I can do, or try to do at that. What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I am actually supposed to be working on final requirements, but they’re all for my newspaper layout class and I cannot be ASSED to open Adobe InDesign and work on some dumb layout stuff right now. If you're in school/college, what's your favorite subject and why? This semester my favorite class is Kasaysayan 117, or Social History of the Philippines (‘Kasaysayan’ means history in Filipino). Social history veers away from the typical elite/heroes/war/colonization/what have you narratives that history books typically go with, and focuses instead on the developments of, say, gender, education, illnesses, and religion in the country. It basically focuses on the everyday life of the ordinary citizen, which I find more interesting and relatable than war stories. I certainly wish I can take this class more than once. Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? Dog person. They’re friendly and sweet and silly and will always stay by your side, which I love. I have never been able to connect with cats and finally at one point, trying just tired me out completely lmao HISS at me then, sis Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Not my favorite, but definitely a memorable one – Scarlett O’Hara is in love with some dude named Leslie who’s married to his first cousin. Scarlett ends up gunning after him for a good chunk of time, even as she marries Rich Guy Rhett Butler and has a kid with him. Eventually [spoiler] kid dies and Rhett realizes Scarlett never cared for her just as Scarlett realizes she loves Rhett. Not a good ending for Scarlett. Bunch of people die. Oh and all of this takes place during the Civil War. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses. I flinch at the idea of putting anything anywhere near my eye, so contacts are a no-no for me. What do you think about horror movies? It’s a hit or miss most of the time. Great genre with some even greater hits, though. If you love them (I do), what's your favorite? Misery or The Shining. Cliché picks, but I personally enjoyed both so why not. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I dunno about ‘cool’ but I got Gabie a Hydro Flask water bottle and I’m SO excited for her to get it because she’s always been envious of mine and she’s always talking about wanting one because water tastes so crisp and fresh from those bottles. It’s kind of a bittersweet story for me though – I lost my own Hydro Flask a day after I got hers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? I do neither of those things because I’m from the Philippines and we have no idea what those holidays(?) mean. Have any mental illnesses? I’m sure I do, I just have never gotten myself checked. What's your favorite word and why? I’m not really obsessed with any right now. What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? It’s either my laptop or my phone...I’m not sure how much they were; my parents paid for both. Although I’m guessing the phone cost more because it was the newest in the iPhone line at the time of their purchase. Did you buy that item yourself? Hahahaha, nope. Super grateful to my parents for getting it for me despite knowing I have the tendency to crack and break all the phones I own. This current one is staying strong, though! Where do you work and what is your postion? I don’t have a job yet but I’m part of two organizations in college, if that counts. I’m the vice president for external affairs in my journalism org and associate editor in our graduating batch’s yearbook club. How often do you cuss? Probably once every few hours? Definitely way less than when I was an angsty, feisty, annoying little teenager lmao. What type of car do you drive, if any? I have a Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback. Are you happy with it? If no, what's your dream car? I’m happy with it; it’s small, convenient, and easy to drive. My dream car is something just as small but a little more fancy, so I’m wishing for a Mini haha. Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Nah I just have three main ones – Twitter, Facebook, and this Tumblr. I’ve made accounts on other apps like Snapchat and Instagram, but I stopped using the former and I never use the latter. What is your favorite genre of music? I don’t have one. Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? It’s not a unique tradition but we go to my grand-aunt’s house and we do Monito-Monita, which is essentially a Filipino Secret Santa. We fix ourselves in a circle and when you’re It, you have to dance/walk/prance around with your gift while everyone sings the monito-monita song (which I’m too lazy to expound on, lol). When the song ends, you have to hand your ‘baby’ their gift. If you're in a relationship, are you happy with it? Yes. How long have you been with your significant other? Three years, but that’ll change to four by February. Do you like psychology? (It's my college major). I love it. It’s one of my the-one-that-got-away courses, along with history. I wanted to have a glimpse of psych by taking a psychology elective once, but I got a bad prof and never got in the mood to take another elective again, so that’s a shame. What is something your state is popularly known for? We don’t have states, we just have provinces and cities. Antipolo is known for their delicacies such as kasoy, suman, and latik. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what's the coolest thing you made? Kind of? I don’t like anything I have to sculpt or mold myself; but lately I’ve been into paint-by-number kits and I asked Gab to get me a couple of them as a Christmas gift. It’ll help with my seasonal depression, so I’m excited to be preoccupied during the holiday break. Do you watch sports or do you think they're overrated? I don’t think they’re overrated. I just don’t find most of them interesting to watch. What's one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn't deserve to? TROLLS Do you straighten your hair? No. Ever dyed your hair a color that isn't natural? (blue, pink, etc) I haven’t dyed it at all. How's your relationship with your parents? We have a best friends-type of relationship in that we banter and not opposed to insulting each other and cursing in front of one another, but I don’t let them know me any deeper than surface-level. The angst and trauma I developed due to my mom being horrid to me when I was younger permanently kept me from ever desiring a soft, emotional, intimate bond with her. And as for my dad, well he’s worked overseas all my life and I only get to see him once or twice a year, so it’s easy to understand why I have not developed a super super SUPER close bond with him as well. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live with them but I’d love to have my own place soon. What's something you are currently saving money for to buy? More Christmas gifts for loved ones. I’ve only bought gifts for my girlfriend so far. Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? I vape, but don’t smoke. Gab gave me her vape pen which is from a brand named Smok, because she soon learned after vaping a few times that she’s asthmatic. :( I do get disposable vape pens from Vedfun which I honestly prefer more, though. Ever done drugs? Other than painkillers, no. Tell me one of your worst habits. Letting myself go hungry because I’m a little obsessed with the thought of saving money. What's a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I have to lock my car doors three times in a row before I feel entirely secure. If you game, what type of headset do you use? What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? I have a Macbook Air, and I love it. What's the thing that annoys you the most? Metro Manila traffic. What brand of TV do you have? All of our TVs are Samsung, I think. Are you excited for Christmas? (It's December 1st today when I made this) I can take it or leave it. Tell me about your favorite vacation you've taken. Sagada x Baguio last 2014. I was hurting a lot that time because of recent shitty events that all happened to me, but the climate, the nature, and the peace and quiet allowed me to recharge and let everything out. It helped that there was a movie that had just come out then called That Thing Called Tadhana (Fate) wherein the lead girl was going through the same stuff I did, then she took a bus trip to Sagada, stood on top of a cliff, and yelled and cried her heart out. I set out to do the same (I didn’t scream though, just cry haha) and it was a good release. I’ll never forget that trip because I had never been more in touch with myself and allowed myself to be that raw until that week.

Tell me something cool about yourself. [continued all the way from 7 AM because I just got lazy for the rest of the morning. It’s now 4:41 PM.] Anyone outside of pro wrestling will probably not find this cool but I’ve been acknowledged by all three of my all-time favorite female figures in the industry (retweeted by AJ Lee, followed by Natalya, greeted happy birthday by Stephanie McMahon). All three are memories I’ll cherish forever. Did/do you get good grades in school/college? Not so much in grade school, because I was admittedly irresponsible and my elders didn’t pay much attention to my study habits, either. I got better in high school, but I still made sure not to tire myself out because I knew the grades I’d get then literally wouldn’t matter in college. Now that I’m in college and for once the grades DO matter, I’m working 15 times as hard and getting good grades throughout. What's your ringtone on your phone? They’re all ringtones provided by Apple. What's your favorite store to shop in? For clothes, independent stores would do. They can sell a tank top for ₱50 (1 USD) that I would otherwise find in H&M for like, ₱299 (6 USD) lmao. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d pay off my parents’ various purchases like our house and cars so that the guilt doesn’t eat me up when I treat myself. How long have you had a Bzoink account? I don’t have a Bzoink account, but I’ve been using it to find surveys since 2008. My survey habit started veeeeery early, y’all.

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what's your favorite attraction? I have not. I’m not even sure I know what that is. Do you own a Polaroid camera? I don’t. Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Hardwood. It's a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Taking surveys or catching up with work. Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I have a lot, fortunately. College taught me to open up my circle. What's your all time favorite movie and why? Two for the Road. It just clicks with me. Audrey and Albert very both very passionate in their roles and their tandem worked amazingly to bring the story to life.

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? Just one. What's the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? Queer Eye; I made Gab watch the Jones Bar-B-Q episode which is usually cited as one of the best of the series. I loved watching it the second time. Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? I use Netflix; I haven’t tuned in to cable TV for a good 4-5 years maybe. What is your dream job and why? Working somewhere in WWE. That company’s been a part of my life for...welp, my whole life. A part of me just feels as though I HAVE to end up there. Do you think you would be a good therapist? I know I’m a good listener and that I can read body language and signals quite well, but I don’t think I’d want people to dump their burdens and rants on me. What's your favorite brand of clothing? H&M. Did you like this survey? Sure!

#survey #surveys

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totallyrhettro · 6 years

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Another Me, Chapter 9

Word Count: 2029 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Summary: This time, Rhett was really going to do it. He had tried maybe a thousand times over the past thirty-odd years to tell Link how he really felt, but this time he was finally going to actually succeed. At least, that was the plan, but when another version of the six-foot seven bearded internetainer appears out of nowhere during their weekend getaway, Rhett’s carefully laid plans are quickly pushed aside. Notes: AU, Present day, Rhett and Link aren’t married

Also available on ao3!

First Chapter Previous Chapter

Recommended viewing for reference: GMM 806 - Speed Talking Challenge

“Uh, yeah.” Link backed up, motioning for Rhett’s duplicate to come on in. “Of course.” He ran his fingers through his hair, unconsciously making sure it was sitting right, as Rhett stepped past him into the room.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he began, second-guessing coming here in the first place.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Link assured him, looking around to make sure the room wasn't too messy. Of course, it wasn’t. “I was just reading,” he lied. “What’s up?”

“I still don’t know how I got here,” Rhett began, running his fingers through his own hair out of habit. “It’s almost like my universe spat me out because I didn’t fit there anymore. Tomorrow we’re going to try to get me back home and I just…” He paused, looking at Link with sad, green eyes.

“Come here,” Link offered, Moving over to the matching beds and sitting down on the nearest one. He placed a hand on the bed beside him as a casual invitation. Grateful, Rhett sat on the edge of the bed next to him and let out a shaky breath.

“Today was the best day I’ve had in years,” he began. “And I’m afraid that, in going back to my universe, my real life, I’m going to have missed a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“What do you mean?” They were sitting so close. Not any closer than Link would have to his Rhett, but for the first time he could smell this Rhett. They smelled almost as similar as they looked.

“To get into the mind of Link! My Link, you know what I’m saying?” Link nodded, understanding completely, and ignored the tiny flutter of his heart when he heard Rhett’s voice say ‘my Link’. Sure it only meant the Link from the other universe, but he’d never heard Rhett use those words together like that, and it was… endearing. “I want to get into his head, understand him better, and who better to ask than his duplicate?”

“Well,” Link shrugged. “Here I am. What do you want to know?” He didn’t see any harm. After all, he never kept any secrets from the Rhett from his universe.

“You dated Missy, in college, right?” A strange place to start but Link didn’t question it. He nodded; he had dated Missy in high school and freshman year of college. It drove Rhett crazy when he would spend hours talking to her on the phone. Plus he didn’t think Link should have continued to date a girl that was still in high school, even if their ages were so close. “My Link, too. Did you date anyone after her? Anyone since?”

“Um.” Link had to really think about it, but not because he didn’t know right away. His first instinct was to say no, but that immediately bothered him. Really? No one? He strained his memory. It was about twenty years ago; surely there had to be somebody… but there wasn’t one. “I guess I’ve been too busy.”

“My Link would say much the same,” Rhett noted with a subtle sigh.

“What about you?” Link nervously asked, scared of the answer.

“Nothing serious,” came the vague reply. “Never really cared for anything serious.”

“Did you ever tell your Link about who you were dating?” The question fell from Link’s lips before he could stop it. He wasn’t sure why he cared, but all of a sudden he really did.

“I never made a point of it,” Rhett admitted, shame creeping up on his face. “Did your Rhett?”

“No, he didn’t,” Link admitted, sadly. “And I know he’s had girlfriends. I know he’s seen people in the past. He’s been dating woman off and on for the past few years, right? But the thing is, he never tells me about them, or introduces me to them. That’s weird, right?”

“Maybe he just didn’t feel like he could tell you…” Rhett began, but Link wasn’t listening anymore.

“I don’t even know, man,” he fumed. “I guess I’m just feeling like…” ‘Like I don’t know Rhett as well I as I thought I did.’ “Like…” He started again. “I just don’t want him to think he can’t talk to me about… things. He never hid his girlfriends from me before. Just like I’ve never had to hide my girlfriends from him.” After all, they had shared the same girlfriend, kissed the same girls in high school (not at the same time, of course) and ever since then they never had to hide even their crushes from each other. What changed?

“But you haven’t had any girlfriends to talk about,” Rhett countered, remaining remarkably calm. “Not for awhile, you said so yourself. Not since college.” Link didn’t have an answer for that. To be honest it wasn’t his business who Rhett dated, not really. He was just used to his best friend of over thirty years telling him everything, even about his girlfriends. If Link was dating someone he would tell Rhett for sure.

“But if I had I would tell him,” Link finally replied, much quieter than before. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Rhett hesitated before answering. It wasn’t his place to answer the questions about the Rhett who was actually from his universe, but he couldn’t leave Link without answers. He couldn’t sit here and ignore the forlorn face before him.

“Maybe he was afraid to tell you,” he whispered, hoping perhaps that Link didn’t hear him, but Link’s ears were keen and he turned his head sharply, a confused look on his face.

“What would he be afraid of? That I wouldn't like them? I don’t care who he dates.” A sharp pain through his heart told him that was a lie. “He was never afraid in the past. Every girl he ever dated in school I knew about. I knew most of them…”

“I shouldn’t speak for your Rhett. After all the last few years have actually been different for our universes, at least where my Link and I are concerned. So, I have no idea who your Rhett has been dating.”

“What happened in your universe?” Link wondered, switching gears slightly. “What happened that changed our universe from yours?” He sighed, frustrated but growing too tired to fight his frustrations. “Up until a few years ago they were identical. I can’t believe that the only difference was view count and that created the split.”

Link wondered; Rhett knew.

~ ~ ~

It was a hot day in the fall of 2015, Rhett and Link were doing a series of videos sponsored by Geico, and this time they were visiting Mike’s Animal Auction in Mira Loma, California. They, along with a small filming crew, had spent more than half a day at the place, collecting footage and shooting the episode, and it had been a fairly pleasant experience so far. Rhett had shone an aptitude for fast talking while Link was doing a good job of being a bit silly about it. He wasn’t sour about it, though. Besides, he couldn’t be in a bad mood after he managed to buy a very lovely horse table earlier.

“You really gonna put that in your house?” Rhett had asked him.

“Of course!” came his smiling response. He really did love the table, though he did acknowledge it wasn’t what one would usually find in a thirty-seven year-old’s bachelor pad. He didn’t care and when Link was happy, Rhett was happy.

Later in the day the two of them were going to put their newly-honed auctioning skills to the test with a genuine auction. They had to look the part, as Mike himself told them, so they changed into what they saw as appropriate attire. Well, appropriate for two internetainers posing as auctioneers. That meant cowboy boots, hats, and yellow cowboy shirts. They looked a bit more like rodeo clowns then real cowboys but it seemed to suit them just fine.

After selling a couple of goats, they ran out of things to auction. Rhett, of course, continued talking at top speed and turned to what he knew best: comedy. Still using his auctioneer’s voice he motioned to his best friend, Link, and continued to auction.

“We’re gonna take a break from the goats real quick,” he was saying. “We’re gonna bid this man off, right here.” He didn’t stop there, letting his comedian side take over. “You can win a date with this man, right here.” Link paused for a moment, confused, but he was a born comedian as well and saw the levity of where Rhett was going. Stepping forward he posed for the crowd, bowing and then doing a little jig while Rhett continued the bit. “We’re gonna start at seventeen dollars,” Rhett continued. “Seventeen dollars. Anybody want a date with this man? Seventeen dollars. Look at him! The famous Link!”

Despite Link’s performance, and Rhett’s enthusiasm, no one got the joke and the bidders were silent. Hoping to save the joke, Rhett took a chance and switched tactics.

“Okay, I bid seventeen,” he said, still talking fast. “I have seventeen to me, anyone wanna give me twenty? Twenty dollars for a date with Link Neal.” A steal, if Rhett ever heard one. Now Link was even more confused, and blushing slightly, but he didn’t stop acting. Holding out his arms he gave the crowd a slow spin, showing himself off like a showpiece. Still no bidders and from the look at the real auctioneer’s faces, the bit was getting old. “Seventeen going once!” Rhett finally announced. “Going twice! Sold! To me for seventeen dollars.” That got a few laughs, but they may have been just polite. “Don’t worry Link,” he continued. “I’ll cut the check later.”

And that was that. The day progressed normally, finishing the shoot before packing up to head back to Burbank before the sun could even set. Rhett and Link drove off in their company car, the FJ cruiser, while the crew had their own van to house them and most of the equipment. It was nice to have some peace and quiet after the long day of hectic crowds and noisy animals. Rhett let out an audible sigh of relief as the car pulled onto the highway.

“We’re not really going on date,” Link whispered, after a few minutes. “Are we?” Rhett had dreaded this conversation since he realized what he had done during the auction, after it had really settled into his mind. It had just been for comedy’s sake but then he started to think.

“You’re not gonna back out on me, now,” he replied, still trying to play it off as a joke. Even though he wanted nothing more in the world than to go on a date with Link, he didn’t want to scare him away. Maybe once they were at a restaurant... “I paid good money to go on a date with you.” Link glanced across the seat to his friend. He couldn’t be serious and his smile didn’t give any sign of what really lay beneath.

“What, like, dinner and a movie?” he wondered. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been to a movie together before, or had dinner together either, but they had always gone as friends. A date had other connotations.

“If you like,” Rhett shrugged. He didn’t really care what they did. “My treat,” he added, knowing Link’s next complaint. “We’ll make it a whole date night out of it.” The way he said it Link had to think he was just fooling around, and he never minded just hanging out with Rhett, especially when he didn’t have to spend a dime.

“Okay,” he relented, turned to look back out his car window. “As long as you’re buying,” he quipped with a smile. Rhett grinned broader, knowing Link had sort of agreed to go on a date with him. He immediately began planning what movie they would see, what restaurant they would go to. He wanted to make sure it was a real and proper date, as Link well deserved. Maybe if things went well -and he dearly hoped they did- then he could finally tell Link how he really felt.

Next Chapter

More Fics

#rhett #link #rhink #fic #fanfic #another me

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unhinged-nymph · 2 years

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Me writing this ShyaRhink fic like

#😬#😇#I'm just in a silly goofy gif makin mood today #shyan #rhink #shyarhink #rhett and link #shane and ryan

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tao-lay · 1 year

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oh, the giggles i let out while watching the main episode hzkjkzhfif as a Disney baby, i almost got everything. i think i missed the latter releases, with the notable ones being Ratatouille (?) and Turning Red

RHETT WAS SO FUNNY TODAY!!! he was in a very silly mood, with facial expressions to match!! he was just so silly, from going into robot mode to the face he made when he guessed The Lion King hhhhhh what a silly little gremlin

also i am REELING over Link guessing Ursula the first try dnjdkskdkf my favorite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid so i felt all sorts of giddy when he answered correctly HHHHHHH that's my baby

such a fun little episode, i just HAD TO watch it before sleeping lmao (it is march 31, 12:19am ph time rn so heh)

#gmm

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surveys-at-your-service · 8 years

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Survey #70

“so break me down if it makes you feel right.”

if you’re a girl, do you have big hips? too big? not really. when was the last time you had alcohol? what kind? yesterday. black cherry mike's hard lemonade. girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? some with sleeves, sure. do your parents treat you like you’re still a child? sometimes. what is the one stereotype people label you as most? i get emo a lot. i really don't care what stereotype i am. can people normally tell your mood, by your facial expression? yeah, honestly. i am SHIT at hiding my emotions. what are the initials of your last ex/ bf or gf? jar. how're you on this fine day? i'm at the tail end of a bad, bad, baaad panic attack. i went to bed crying last night and woke up a while ago; i couldn't sleep. i talked to my long-time friend jurro, who always has great advice to give me. they brought up the possibility of me having bpd (which has been brought up to me before), especially with my obvious favoritism towards jason. i read more about it, and i really think it's a liable diagnosis, and i guess that gave me some relief? i'm going to bring it up to my therapist, who i really need to see soon. describe the main problem with your last relationship? i've explained this so many times, yet i feel the need to keep fucking talking about it. the only real issue was jason not supporting me enough. by that i mean, he got tired of my depression. he didn't want to deal with it anymore. not that i blame him. i live with it and i don't want to deal with it anymore, but guess who can't leave it without destroying herself? if he truly gave a shit, it should've been the same for him. for so long, three and a half fucking years, he was there, and he did everything he could. then he just... snapped one day, i guess. so fucking sorry i'm too weak to make it on my own. what was the last thing that offended you? i'm not sure, honestly. probably something colleen said. what’s on your shower curtain? nothing. it's blank. what sounds do you hear? "alone i break" by korn is playing, and the tv's on. who was the newest addition to your family? ryder, my sister's son, is the newest, i believe. do you like muse? i like a few songs. "unnatural selection" is my SHIT. what was your first ever pet? we had a collie named trigger. she was a wonderful dog. have you ever been bit by an animal? never viciously, no. i remember once my lizard bit me when he was scared once (his light had been dead all day, so he was freezing), but it was barely even a nibble. i think i've told of the time my dog teddy bit towards me in a merely very "i'm warning you" type way. where is the person you miss the most right now? i would hope he's in bed asleep. how often do you take naps? every day, usually... typically after i'm up for an hour or less, i feel fucking exhausted and go back to sleep lol. are you planning any special outings with family or friends? not any "outings," but on saturday, the day before my birthday, mom and i are going to colleen's and i, for one, am getting drunk as fuck to forget some shit for a while. do you ever wear lipstick? what color(s) do you prefer? yes, i wear black, usually. what was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? smirnoff. it was okay. what’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? his silly smile melts my fucking heart. the last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone? "somebody, someone" by korn. and yeah. me. who was the last person to give you a hickey? only person to ever was jason. who was your high school’s most popular girl? that's debatable. idk. would you like to learn to play the harp? omg i always did as a child. what is the most drinks you’ve had in one night? was it five... maybe six? it was VERY weak alcohol, though. when is the last time you parked in a covered parking lot? probs when colleen, bradley, and i went to the beach last may. we had to drive through a great number of parking lots to find ONE spot. has a friend ever betrayed you? oh, you mean that time someone way more than a friend tried to lift me up, but only let go half-way in the effort? yeah. been there. is teenage pregnancy common in your area? eh, no less or more than other places, i guess. do you see the new year as a fresh start? no. do your parents own their house or is it rented? the house i live in with mom is rented. i'm almost positive dad's and kim's is owned. have you ever joined in a protest? if so, what against? no. it'd be a cold day in hell before something like a protest happened here in nc. do people ever complain that you’re too quiet? always. and i don't get why it's just that: a complaint. being quiet isn't a bad thing. do you know anyone that’s ever suffered from post natal depression? i have a friend who's suffering with it now. do you like black licorice? i don't like licorice period. do you sleep in your bra? fuck that. what would you do if someone smacked your butt? well, who's doing it and where are we? if it was jason, he'd get pinned against a damn wall while i kiss him. anyone else, with the mood i'm in, i'd slap the shit out of them. dog ever licked you down there? wHAT THE FUCK do you think you’ll be a MILF? lmao no. would you immediately look for someone right after you and your bf/gf broke up? if we were in a serious relationship, obviously not. i'd need to recover. do you sleep naked, or nearly so? no. i used to sleep without a shirt when i lived in the apartment because i was cooler, but for obvious reasons, i'm not comfortable doing that with my mother and little sister in this house. will you kiss the last person you kissed again? honestly, it'd be a dream come true. do you wish someone was dead? i wish i didn't. what is your dad’s name? kenneth, or just "ken" would you ever like to meet marilyn manson? debatable. he's one of my favorite artists, but from what i know of him, he's not a person i'd agree with on almost anything. what do you look like right now? i don't fucking know, a person?? a heavily depressed son of a bitch??? how many of your friends play world of warcraft? i did. i really don't know if i'll go back to it when i get my computer fixed. my friends sam, girt, and alex also play(ed). is your dad bald? he's not. do you remember the name of the first bar you ever went to? i've never been to a bar. have no plans to go to one, really. have you ever made a sex tape? no, and i never will. have you ever drank cough syrup to get high? no. have you ever felt yourself fainting? i have. would you ever own a rat? i've owned four: tezzeret, rhoka, rhett, and link. i may get another some day, but this time, from a breeder. would you or do you ever spank your kids? NO. do you look pretty today? no. my eyes are red and watery, i haven't brushed my hair yet... do you feel you’re capable of being loved? no. if jason couldn't, no one can. have you ever felt lifeless? i have. many times. weirdest shit, to feel like that and still be perfectly alive. do you remember the first alcoholic drink you ever had? yeah. pink lemonade mike's hard. do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? i want jason, not necessarily anyone else. do you chew on your straws? no. do you plan on moving out within the next year? no, i don't. are you a forgiving person? too much so, usually... what is your all-time favorite romance movie? "the notebook" murders me every time. have you ever purchased condoms? i haven't, but jason bought them for us once. i got really close to leaving behind my abstinence once, and because of that, he said he did it just to be safe. we never used them, but it was a smart decision. have you ever had shower sex? no. i'm honestly not that into the idea. have you ever caught someone else watching porn? no. what size shoe are you? seven and a half, i think... have you ever sent a nude snapchat? no, i don't have a snapchat. what to you would the perfect life consist of? honestly, you could wipe out everything, and just give me jason. let us have one child to cherish beyond vocalization. and i would be happy. have you ever had a sexy skype chat? ha ha no, the only times i've ever chatted on skype with webcam was with jason, and we were ever only lazy bums in our pajamas... have you ever had a sexual gay experience? i have not. have you ever shoplifted? i have not. is there a guy who you can go to with no make-up on in sweatpants and bedhead and he couldn’t care less? girt, probably. jason, if he was still around. do you and your family pray before eating dinner? only on thanksgiving, really. what’s something you’ll always refuse to do? i mean, lots of things. i'd never have an abortion, get a divorce unless my spouse became violent/dangerous, various other things... what’s the best thing at mcdonald’s? i seriously like their cheeseburgers. would you ever get a tattoo of your favorite band or singer’s name? no. i plan on getting MANY lyrics tattooed on me, though. what’s your iood/mp3 player like? it's a super old, pink nano-type. it's way past its life expectancy. has a few scuffs and scratches here and there. do you own any form of a gameboy? i do; my sisters and i all had/have one. they don't all work anymore, though. what’s the best part about halloween? D E C O R A T I N G!!! do you have any pets and do you want any(more)? we have three dogs, teddy (beagle/cocker spaniel), cali (boxer mix), and bentley (jack russel mix), and one cat named lexi. i'm currently only really wanting a ball python morph, but adopting a lizard again would be nice... a rat, too... what’s the best pokemon? ninetales is the best! but i also reeeaaally like espeon and umbreon. do you play any sport? no. i haven't played sports since dance. do you watch beauty pageants? absolutely not. i disagree with their entire concept. do you like nutella? i do, very much so. are you into ripped jeans? yes. makes them appear more dynamic and interesting. which band has the best name, in your opinion? i'm not sure. none come to mind immediately... do kids often knock on your door on halloween? they never do. we live in what can barely even be considered a neighborhood, just a couple houses in the middle of the woods. have you ever witnessed an extreme act of animal cruelty? thank heavens, no. have you ever actually woken up screaming because of a nightmare? yes. i was sleeping on the recliner with jason and nearly gave him a heart attack. how many people in your family have blue eyes? idk, but not many. the only ones i know of are myself, my deceased grandpa, my half-brother, and my niece. who is your favorite actor/actress? probably betty white and johnny depp if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? i'd be a dragon, far away from human civilization so people won't want to kill me for no particular reason... are you satisfied with your gender? even if i wasn't, what would i do about it? do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? honestly depends on how close we are and my mood. have there ever been floods where you live? many. do you listen to k-pop? i never have. i have an acquaintance from high school that's like in love with it though. do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? i know of people, yes. most notably my sister's ex. there's potential that i know someone who has, too, as i knew her online, she was heavily suicidal, then she just vanished. do you eat meat every day? usually, typically at dinner. do you like your country’s president or prime minister? no, i don't. i agree with some of his policies, most notably his outlook on abortion, but overall, i cannot stand him. he has a horrid, childish attitude, and a relatively naive outlook on things. do you listen to christmas music during the holiday season? i don't. virginia, jason's mom, always did though. she loved the holidays and was always so expressive of her enjoyment of them all. i miss her... i hope she's doing well, too. she had a few health issues. do you like ginger ale? only when i'm ill. what color is your can of deodorant? it's baby blue. what is the middle name of the last person you texted? marie how far do you live from the ocean? ehhh, like three hours, probably less. are you a fan of eminem? he's the only rapper i'd consider myself a fan of. he actually sings about shit that matters on a regular basis. do you wear a ring on your finger? i have a ruby/garnet/whatever on my right ring finger, and i want to fix the ring jason gave me to wear on my left pointer finger... but it's in a box somewhere. i had it in the jewelry box he bought me, but most of our shit's been packed up from when we were threatened with eviction, and personally i don't feel like going through dozens of boxes. do you like the song ‘i kissed a girl’ by katy perry? i'll admit it's catchy and reminds me of when i was younger. the last person you kissed, is he/she single now? last i checked, no. how many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? hundreds of times. does it bother you when people smoke around you? honestly, yes. but i don't say anything. ever kissed a smoker? no, and i highly doubt i ever will. a smoker has kissed me, though. do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? a former friend did when did you last talk to your brother or sister? i couldn't tell you. ashley doesn't live here and nicole doesn't say a word to me unless she needs something or if i initiate conversation. do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? regular bacon would you ever buy a motorcycle? no. too dangerous. most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? james hetfield of metallica like fuck me he could be my daddy in more than one way can insanity bring on more creativity? it does, but it's not something i'd advise pursuing. basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? maroon. where is your mom? she's currently at mrs. ricks' house, a patient she takes care of. have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? with jason, hundreds of times. how long until your next birthday? four days!! ;v; favorite thing to do on tumblr? see what gay shit is going down in the r&l community. have you ever experienced being hysterical? it's a familiar feeling. have you ever ridden a boat? i have. has anyone ever threatened to hurt you? what did you do? yes, by a lovely little bitch named rachel. and when things truly escalated, i told my mother. call me a tattle-tail for it, but i wasn't an adult at the time. we were both teenagers. mom was so pissed that she confronted her father about the issue (she knew where she lived because my older sister has a history with the bitch, too...), and while he spoke to rachel supposedly, he didn't seem to give a shit. the behavior stopped, though. have you ever seen someone’s personality change completely in a manner of minutes? what was it like? no, thankfully. do you tend to expect the best or the worst of people? the worst. i have no reason to behave otherwise. what color are your pants? mostly black, but there's also a graphic of classic harley quinn with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her. tbh i usually wore these if i wanted attention from jason lmao kill me. any turn ons? whispering, neck kisses/bites, very gentle choking, gentle touching in general, other things i'm just not thinking of right now... what's your cover photo on facebook? it's a picture of jason and me from our second prom. we're smiling at each other. any turn offs? bad hygiene, being rough, being violent, etc... most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? jason's humility and him softening as a person in general. are you more of an independent person or dependent person? i'm honestly extremely dependent. are you usually the first to forgive in a fight? it sure seems that way. do you prefer boys to shave down there? i don't care. do what makes him feel more comfortable in himself. do you think it’s appropriate to keep naked pictures of an ex, or should you delete them when you break up? it definitely does sound appropriate to have naked pictures. would you ever get a back tattoo? i already have one planned for along my spine: "once upon a time, i ripped the wings from my spine, but when i hide inside your eyes, i still pretend that i can fly." it's one of my favorite lyrics from otep. favorite kind of bean? kidney? black? pinto? i absolutely hate beans. when you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? keeping my husband happy, preparing for children, etc... do you have photoshop? if so, how often a day do you use it? i had to have it for school. i like... never use it. wonder woman or cat woman? cat woman. would you like other people to see your survey answers? i'm neutral. like i guess it helps when people wanna talk/give me advice from their unique perspective, but i don't want people to bother with me? do you often feel guilty?  i fucking always do. about everything. have you ever had a serious mental break down? you know, like, every week. how long was your longest relationship? three and a half years did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your high school boyfriend/girlfriend? yes. i did. i still refuse to believe i won't. he was my favorite person, and still is. but what happens when you're breaking down your fp, entirely inadvertently, while they're building you up? ka-boom. i guess that's just what i did to him. are you a virgin? do you believe virginity is “sacred”? i am, and yes, it is. i refuse to just give it up to any 'ole body. what’s a song you recently discovered that you want to tell everyone about? "breakdown" by seether. i wonder if it's how jason feels towards me. does the last person you kissed have freckles? no, he doesn't. assuming you’re in love or have been in love before, how does or did it make you feel? on top of the world. that first realization that i was in love with him... it was like being born again. but in a new dimension. stick with me here. i was in a new world where nothing could hurt me, because he was my shield, and i was also his. we were one. partners. two names, one soul. he was the reason i could rest, because his eyes were open while i slept. i could reveal myself to him, because his heart and mind were opened. he took all that shit and crushed it beneath his heel, though, so i guess it doesn't really matter. in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? usually english or science. what’s the age difference between yourself and your best friend? less than a year. has someone close to you ever told you they were going to commit suicide because of you? oh my god, no. i'd die. do you like opossums? do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? i LOVE opossums! they're so cute! as for if it's ethically right to keep them as pets, i'm honestly not sure as i'm not well-educated on what they would require as a house animal. i mean i certainly wouldn't agree with someone taking them out of their natural habitat to be a pet, but i guess i'd be fine with someone raising an abandoned opossum baby, so long they gave them the care necessary. what is your favorite unhealthy drink that you like to consume (if you have one, that is)? mountain dew, the voltage variety being my favorite. i know it's wiiiildly bad for you, but omg i love it. what are your thoughts on nihilism? it's rather sad, and can also be so dangerous if you truly believe nothing has meaning/nothing matters. when and where was the last time you were or felt lost? daily??? i haven't mentally felt like i'm "home" for a long, loooong time. has a tree ever fallen down on your house?   two or three times, lmao. oh wait no, one of those times is where it fell on the propane tank beside our house (it didn't explode, it was literally inches from the top of it, though). the only time i clearly remember a tree falling on the house is when the tree collapsed literally on top of my room, and i slept through it. dad had to saw the tree multiple times to get it off the house, and we had to get some leaks patched. do you know anyone that actually looks good wearing bright red lip stick? i don't think i look too bad with it. if you were poor, living on the streets, & had no family to aid you, would you take up a job offer to work in a slaughterhouse? i... maybe. living on the streets has to be a literal nightmare, so i doubt a slaughterhouse would be much worse... but killing animals, i would literally cry on a daily basis. i don't know if i could do it. do you feel sorry for the people who get killed by their pets [some people own / tend to monkeys, tigers, lions, snakes, etc. & get killed by them] or do you think they had it coming? i mean i would never not feel sorry for someone who died, but at the same time, i would agree it to be foolish to keep a dangerous animal. whose facebook password do you have? no one's but my own. have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? and i did. how often do you go to church? i try to go with colleen every weekend now. she's just been really sick lately, so we haven't been going. speaking of church, are you going to heaven or hell? ... i don't know anymore. like, i accept jesus as my lord and savior, etc., but i feel so wicked sometimes. like... i wish death upon someone i don't know. i love someone more than i do god and jesus. i've been furious with god lately. heaven probably doesn't want me. would you date/hook up with your brother’s best friend? no, he'd be too old for me personally. have you ever wondered what it’s like to have sex on a trampoline? well. hot damn. there's another one on my bucket list lmao. what is the weirdest music video you’ve ever seen? hmm. not sure. what is something of which you need more in your life? social interaction. i'm an introvert and all, but i don't have enough company throughout my days. do you enjoy talking about music with others? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS I WILL TALK FOR HOURS what are the color of your walls? do you want to repaint? boring white/beige/whatever. i'd like to repaint, sure, but this house is rented, not owned, so we can't. do you have any siblings who neglect you? ... i feel that way, yeah. my older half-siblings i don't feel that way, 'cuz they live forever away and have busy, adult lives, and even ashley is very busy, but nicole, who lives with me... i feel like she doesn't care. she's never home and acts like she lives with her good-for-nothing boyfriend, and when she is here, she doesn't talk to me. doesn't look at me. never says a word to me, even when she knows i need comfort. she doesn't interact with me period unless i initiate conversation. i just. feel like when she/me/we move out, we'll never talk again. i don't want to lose my little sister. what were the last three movies you watched in theaters? "trolls," "the jungle book," and uhhh... i'm not sure. do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons? spirits/ghosts/whatever have you, demons, and angels. did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? until the news of a dirty syringe being found in a local one, yes. are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? i am. when i first met him, i thought he looked "odd," and he does look rather different, but i honestly believe him to be handsome. what did you do yesterday? not much at all... sat on the computer. talked to a couple online friends. talked with colleen. cried a lot. something you really want right now? honestly all i want is to cuddle with j right now. underneath a big, fleecy blanket, and just watch our old, favorite shows. do you look more like your mom or your dad? debatable. i've heard both. describe your looks to us: i am 5'4'', white and very pale, overweight with my weight pretty evenly distributed, i have lithe hands with long fingers and very small toes. i have blue eyes that sometimes look more greenish or grayish. my ears are pierced multiple times, as well as my nose. i have three tattoos. my hair just reaches my breasts and is ruby-red in coloration. how i dress varies greatly. could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you? no, fuck you. are you afraid of death? i am. i'm most concerned about how badly it'll hurt/how i'll die. do you think you’ll be one of those people that will get a divorce in the future? no, because i'd literally refuse to leave my spouse unless he became dangerous. last person you kissed on the lips said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them? if he leaves his current girlfriend, sure. are thongs sexy? not to me... but then again, i'm not attracted to feminine garb. is penetration important to you? considering i was fine doing purely foreplay with jason/having no penal-vaginal penetration, no, it's not very important. what is your sexuality? i am heterosexual, but have some asexual tendencies, ex. i am not physically attracted to male genitalia. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? long is fucking sexy. would you rather have 10 siblings or be an only? ten. that'd be cool. what is your opinion on legalizing drugs? it's fucking stupid to even mildly consider it. i know a lot of people think it will lessen crime with drugs, but ha, i HIGHLY doubt it. besides that, why legalize something dangerous? murder's wrong, should we legalize that shit, too? and i mean, we already have enough controversy over things like cigarettes and alcohol, two very dangerous things, why add another to the mix? do you drink coffee on a regular basis? no, i hate coffee. do you like country music? no, i don't. it's very rare that once in a while i'll hear a song i like, but it's seldom. are you afraid of black cats? not at all. do you watch the lightning during storms? omgggg yes what is the weirdest thing you have ever done with a crush or significant other? i guess you could consider borderline fucking on a chaise in the open living room "weird?" but shit was fun. do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick? i shave my underarms, not my arms. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it? no, if teddy pees, i clean it up. what insects or bugs do you fear most? rhinoceros beetles are fucking terrifying, praying mantises are kinda scary... i also just don't like beetles in general. do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes? it's worse. it's been proven to have more carcinogens. who taught you to drive, and were you happy with their approach? my driver's ed teacher was mr... cone, i think? he was fine. besides him, mom taught me to drive, and she was waaaay too strict/yelled a lot. do you get seasick or carsick? carsick, no. seasick, i'm not entirely sure. i've only been on a boat on the ocean once, and it was my anxiety that nearly made me puke. is sex on your mind more than 3 times a day? lately, yeah. do you like it up against the wall? errr, i'm going to just go along with this. i wouldn't know, never tried, but sounds fun. are you smiling? lmao what do you think, i just sit at my computer smiling like a madman all day? what has been the most traumatic experience of your life? does it still bother you? by far, jason leaving me. and obviously, as i've been diagnosed with ptsd because of it. was your last kiss drunk or sober? i've never kissed someone while drunk, so. have your lips ever gone numb from kissing? lmao, that's possible? i've kissed for hours on end and have never experienced that. why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? because i really liked him. why else? are monday mornings the hardest mornings to wake up to? no no no, new gmm!! do you want to know the date of your death? absolutely not. have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up? no. do you wear hair extensions? nah. do you wear eyeliner? if i ever wear makeup, yes, i always do. do either of your parents have tattoos? neither do. mom wants one, though. your phone is ringing. it’s your ex. what do you say? "hi, sweetheart." what is your natural hair color? i was born dirty blonde, but it turned brown with age. is your dream job attainable? realistically, for me, no. i'd like to be a meerkat biologist, but i'm not moving to africa. have you ever been to a drive-in theatre? no, but that'd be soooo fun! :( what moment in your life have you been most scared? those first moments after jason told me it was over. the moment i told mom, "jason broke up with me," because it was my true acknowledgment that it was over. can you imagine how it'd feel like to be skinned alive? to have all your flesh ripped away, leaving you bare and vulnerable? that's what it felt like. do movies such as ‘saw’ and ‘the grudge’ scare you easily? "the grudge" is a fucking awesome movie (think i've only seen the second, tho), but i'm not a "saw" fan. i just... eh, they're too bloody. to an exaggerated degree. and i don't like seeing people so scared. do you have an ipod? how many songs are on it? yes, and over 1,000. i sometimes have to delete songs to make room for more. how do you get to school? i'm not in school anymore, but when i was, mom always drove me there. would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? i don't really want to adopt period, but i don't know if hypothetically i would, but merely for the child's own well-being. i am seriously mentally ill, and because of this, i don't really know if i'm capable of raising said child in a completely healthy environment. gas prices...first thought? lower than they used to be, at least. i remember when they were over $4.00 favorite non sexual thing to do with girl/boy? play two-player video games together. :D

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