#rey skywalker gets to know her grandpa anakin as a force ghost :)

[zaddymaul]

no one ever:

me: fuck this im going to rewrite star wars

[knightotoc]

I thought of another insane TRoS interpretation (2 actually) bc the TRoS neurons in my brain are just that powerful and get so much exercise that they're still producing all these years later🪖🩹📿🗡🕵‍♂️🦰🧟‍♂️🌩👫🪦🐌🏳️‍🌈

So why does Kylo not have a ghost? Two explanations, both alike in dignity (which is to say barren of it):

1. (I thought of this one second but it's simpler so I'll explain it first.) When Rey died, she died-died, so when Kylo gave her his life-force he was actually transferring HIS soul to HER. So now he's literally walking around in her body. There is no Kylo ghost because he/she's still alive.

plot hole: so why doesn't Rey have a ghost? explanations: 1) the way she died was so thorough/spiritual that her soul is just totally wiped out of existence; 1a) the way she died was so close to Jedi Heaven that she just got fast-tracked past the ghost stage; 2) Rey's body can't see its own ghost; 3) Kylo is in denial that Rey is dead so he/she refuses to see her ghost

fun irony: Palpatine wanted to possess Rey's body, but now Kylo is, haHA! tfw grandpa and boyfriend are both trans for you😱

corollary: when Kylo-in-Rey's-body says his/her last name is Skywalker, that's actually not an adoption thing, that's just choosing Skywalker over Solo and Organa

observation: this means that Kylo has now had three names (Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, and Rey Skywalker), two bodies, and perhaps two genders. Lucky shmuck

incidental bonus: The annoying thing about the soul transfer power is that, if this is a real thing in star wars and I guess it is, then I don't know why Anakin never did it for Shmi or Padme, or why Obi-Wan didn't do it for Qui-Gon, etc. So this interpretation gets them all off the hook! It's not a thing after all!

2. (I thought of the first part of this one first and then the second part third.) There is no Kylo ghost because Kylo's soul actually died a long time ago due to Palpatine's meddling. Palpatine tells him, "I've been every voice you've ever heard inside your head," so whenever Kylo started hearing voices that made him turn evil, like when he was 12 or 16 or whatever, this external force pushed his own consciousness away. Over years of overwhelming evil influence, the fragile young Ben soul got crushed and totally wiped out/sent to Jedi Purgatory/damned to Sith Hell😱 So he's just a Palpatine Puppet the whole time we see him in the movies.

plot hole: so why does Kylo, as we see in the movies, still love his parents and Rey?

second part of the theory (thanks @waiting-for-ciena-ree for your huge brain): Puppet Kylo technically does not have a soul, but he still, as an empty shell, is capable of forming his own emotions and performing his own actions. This is why his moments of compassion are so rare and dramatic. It's like a Kingdom Hearts/Warm Bodies thing. But even though he's still kind of a person, there's not enough ectoplasm in there to make a whole ghost. Like maybe there was a little ghost but it blew away in a stiff breeze

What's an elegant way to end this post...

But that's just a theory...a main blog theory. Thanks for reading👏

[squirrelno2]

Me at myself in the mirror at 3:50 in the afternoon one day: the thing about the sequel trilogy of star wars is that Finn was in the perfect position to be a foil to Kylo Ren and a hopeful spin on the character of Anakin Skywalker and the fact that nobody even noticed these parallels is a testament to the power of racism and the fact that bigotry actually makes you a worse writer

No but. Anakin’s out here with his introduction in the prequels as a slave, and it’s poorly done but implied that the pain and fear of that part of his life impacts how he interacts with… basically everything ever, and ultimately makes him susceptible to palpatine’s grooming; your mileage may vary on the ratio of canon to fanon in this interpretation but I think we can all agree being a slave from birth is gonna fuck a kid up and there’s a reason why George lucas chose this particular backstory for him.

So you’ve got Kylo Ren, eschewing a family that cares for him (please don’t talk to me about whatever the fuck was going on in those last jedi flashbacks first of all that’s bad writing babe and second, we’re talking solely about the expectations and possibilities established in force awakens because there’s not enough narrative or character consistency in the sequel trilogy to take. Anything as a whole there) in order to chase after this version of his grandfather that isn’t even the version he died as. Like! Whether you think Anakin/Vader achieved redemption or simply did one good thing at the end of his life, we all know that act of sacrifice on Luke’s behalf is. The definition of Star Wars. Vader choosing to do good in his last moments was what the original trilogy built towards and what the prequel trilogy always knew, and it’s this fucked up spectre over everything Kylo Ren says or does in Force Awakens because he’s out here pleading with the ghost of a man who is not real, he’s chasing Vader instead of Anakin Skywalker and ignoring the choices his own grandpa made in the name of… honouring him somehow???

And then there’s Finn. Finn who’s been raised since who knows when but definitely childhood given he has no name to remember to be a weapon for the First Order. Somehow I doubt they pay their stormtroopers, somehow I expect their education is more indoctrination than anything, somehow I doubt Finn was ever instilled with a sense that he as a person mattered – Finn’s a slave when we meet him. Unequivocally. And this man who’s known nothing else his entire life turns around and says “actually I think I will do good things or at least stop doing bad ones” and runs the fuck away, freeing himself. (and also Poe. Something something the act of saving others in turn saves you, this is my eternal soapbox but that’s not my point right now)

Finn is afraid, and very nearly runs away from the fight like “I’m safe so it doesn’t matter what happens to others” – when satisfied that Rey is safe (and under the impression that Poe is dead) he feels no strong compulsion to protect an ambiguous “rest of the galaxy” which honestly is exactly the vibes Anakin Skywalker has for pretty much all his life. Anakin would be a hero because the people he cared about wanted him to be. He fought for Padme and Obi-Wan and frigging Palpatine (and Ahsoka, I say, skipping outside the movies for a hot second because I love her) first and foremost, and the Jedi and the Republic because those were the causes his loved ones cared about. Finn has the opportunity to get away, to protect himself for the first time in his life, and he doesn’t have to worry about the few people he cares about so he very nearly goes for it.

Then the thing is, Finn, unlike Anakin, doesn’t let that fear rule him? He turns around and goes back for Rey, follows Poe, stays with the Resistance. He gets to be terrified but he also says that terror isn’t his only motivating factor, and that his self-interest matters less to him than the galaxy – a choice Anakin struggled to make until literally the end of his life.

In conclusion, if the sequel trilogy had stuck to its guns and been about the tragedy of history as a cycle and the way we cling to idealised pasts and torture ourselves over might-have-beens (and also how that inaction and obsession with history allows the rise of fascism bc we spend so much time patting ourselves on the back for defeating ‘the bad guy’ we ignore what gave the bad guy power) – if it had been a well written story Finn should have been a hopeful twist to the story of Darth Vader, a man who faced the same struggles as Anakin but made better, kinder choices, which would bring it nicely full circle considering George Lucas was like. Very into star wars as being about Vader

But nope we had to have whatever that poorly written racist tug-of-war was instead. I don’t know about you but I need better fandoms

[nonasuch]

also i wrote another 1500 words of ben solo vs. the darkest timeline and I have no chill and no patience so here you go:

The recruiting campaign started slow and quiet, taking them through parts of the Inner Rim that had never wavered from the Republic. Ma wanted to build a support base that could muster troops and amass supplies on their own steam, and without drawing too much of the First Order’s notice. Ben knew that was how Ma liked to work: tell her people what was needed, and trust them to do it right.

The First Order didn’t work that way, of course. There were reports already of worlds stripped bare for metals and water, shipyards driven to their limit, whole populations pressed into service. It was mostly vague, though, mostly broad strokes. Not much news of their internal politics ever made it to the free parts of the galaxy, and what there was came mostly from a small-but-steady trickle of low-level defectors. 

Apparently the new Supreme Leader wasn’t big on having his praises sung, at least compared to Snoke.

Ben wasn’t the one who suggested Naboo; that was Connix, who was shrewder about politics in his own universe, too. “It’s time for a statement,” she said. “They know we’re building up forces, so let’s show we’re not afraid to do it in public.”

Ma didn’t like it, Ben knew. She always felt a little guilty about recruiting from Naboo. Ben had never agreed with her about that. Sure, they were towards the pacifist end of things, historically, but it was a wealthy planet that could afford to help, and didn’t need much convincing. They had a weird mix of guilt and pride, there, that came from producing both the old Emperor and the mother of the Rebellion, and there had always been plenty of Naboo recruits in the Rebellion and the Resistance.

She agreed to it, eventually. They took the Falcon, and about half of the little convoy they’d managed to build up so far: not really a fleet, yet, but on its way there.

“While we’re there,” Ben said, “are we visiting Grandma?”

Ma gave him a sharp look. “I haven’t done that in years,” she said. “But if you want to.”

She couldn’t make time for it right away. They had a bunch of audiences with the current queen and the ruling council, which meant a lot of very formal dinners that Ben was thankful to be excused from. Apparently they were impressed by Rey and found Finn and Rose just terribly inspiring. Nobody mangled their pronunciations enough to upset the Gungan councilors. When Ben went walking in the lower city, there were a lot of people agreeing with each other that something had to be done, that Naboo had never turned its back on the free galaxy before and they weren’t about to start now.

After a few days of that, Ma could take an afternoon off to visit the tombs of Naboo’s queens.

Ben’s grandmother had a mausoleum that was almost half again as big as any of the others, a florid pile of early-Empire excess. It was, frankly, pretty ugly from the outside, but one of the first queens under the New Republic had ordered all of the Imperial symbols and regalia stripped out, and the result on the inside was spare and clean and peaceful.

The lid of the sarcophagus was carved to look like Padmé lying there atop it, eyes closed, hair fanned out around her face, hands resting on her round belly. When he was a kid, Ben had studied her, looking for a resemblance; he could see it in Ma, but not really in himself. Now Ma was so much older than her mother had ever been, with lines on her face that Ben couldn’t imagine in the smooth, serene marble.

At the foot of the tomb there was a brass-colored bowl, with a blue flame burning forever in it. Ma knelt down in front of it, and Ben knelt down beside Ma. He watched her unpin her hair, pluck a few strands free, and coil it back up again. Ben yanked out a couple of his own -- he hadn’t cut his hair yet in this universe, and he probably needed to -- and handed them to Ma.

She wound them up into a little knot, and dropped it into the blue flame, and lit a stick of incense to cover up the burnt-hair smell. “There,” Ma said. She brushed a bit of incense off her hands, let Ben brace her as she stood. Ben had done this with her a dozen or so times, and she never wanted to stay any longer than she had to.

But there was something Ben wanted to try. It had only ever worked the once, at home, but -- Ben had a feeling. “I’m going to stick around,” he said.

“If you like,” Ma said.

Alone, Ben sat down on the floor again, his back to the tomb, and listened to the Force. It was calm here, with hardly any living sentients nearby. There had been a time, once, when people came here to heap the floor with offerings of flowers and fruit, to spill out their grief and anger at what had been lost to the Empire. But that was long ago, and the Force had long since carried all of that emotion away. Ben could just pick up the echoes, if he tried, but they weren’t what he was looking for.

You don’t belong here, said a voice.

Ben opened his eyes. “Hi, Grandpa.”

You know I’m not really your grandfather, said Anakin Skywalker. For one thing, my grandson hasn’t listened to me for years.

“I know,” said Ben. “I’m sorry about that. Things turned out -- better, for me.”

Yes, said Anakin. He looked like the man he’d been before his Fall. Younger than Ben, except around the eyes. The Force is always bigger than we expect it to be, isn’t it? Turns out there’s enough room for everything to happen, somewhere.

“Yeah, I was surprised about that, too,” said Ben, as dry as he could make it. He didn’t get a laugh, but the corner of his grandfather’s mouth ticked up, just a little.

So, grandson who listens to me, what do you want to know?

Ben shrugged. He had his big heart-to-heart with his own version of Anakin already, and it had been weird and cathartic and nothing Ben ever wanted to repeat. “I was hoping -- do you know how I get home? Or even how to just, I don’t know, send a message, tell them I’m all right.”

But Anakin shook his head. Sorry, kid. For a moment he flickered, blurring into the way he’d looked at the end of his life, bald and scarred. There are paths in the Force to everything that’s ever happened, or could happen. But I’ve been dead for a long time. If I left this universe I don’t think I’d find my way back. And if I were going to go -- nothing against your universe, but there are other ones I’d look for.

“That’s fair,” said Ben. He could imagine the kind of universe Anakin would look for. Maybe one where, if there was still a tomb here at all, the effigy on the lid was a woman with more lines on her face than her daughter. How big a change would that universe need, to exist? As far as Ben knew, the only thing separating Ben’s universe from this one was that he hadn’t lost his shit at Luke and burned down the Temple. 

Was there a choice some other Anakin made, or didn’t make, that sent his whole galaxy down a brighter path? Which one was it?

“Do you know what he did, that I didn’t?” Ben asked. “I mean, besides the obvious. Why he did -- that -- instead of anything else he could have done.”

I think you’d have to ask him yourself, Anakin said.

“If we’re ever in the same star system, I’m going to be too busy trying to fucking kill him,” said Ben. “So if you’ve got any suggestions for how to stop wanting to do that, I’m all ears.”

I’m definitely the wrong person to ask about that, said Anakin. I think you might actually be this galaxy’s leading expert in not falling to the Dark Side.

“No,” said Ben. “Ma has more practice.”

Yeah, but you were pushed harder.

“Tied for first, maybe,” Ben allowed.

Sure. If you like. Anakin pushed up off the floor -- Ben noticed that, standing, his blue, semitransparent feet floated about a half-inch above it -- and said, I wish there was more I could tell you. But he’s been closed off to me for a long, long time.

“I get it,” Ben said. Which wasn’t exactly true, because Force ghosts never made any fucking sense, not really. But he knew that this wasn’t where his answers would come from. “So, uh. Should I go, or…?”

Leia’s waiting for you, Anakin said. He reached out to the tomb, his spectral hand floating a half-inch from the peaceful, unlined marble face. It’s okay. I’m going to stay for a while. May the Force be with you, Ben.

“Thanks,” said Ben. He left his grandparents to their rest.

[ainedubh]

How dare they just push Rose to the sidelines like that. We were robbed of her interacting with Poe, her sister’s commander. We were robbed of her interacting with Rey, a fellow mechanic with no family. We were robbed of her interacting with Leia even though they both spent the entire movie at the resistance base together. And we were robbed of any resolution of her relationship with Finn, even if they had just went with “look, we almost died, we kissed, now it’s weird and we don’t know what we are or how we feel or where to go from here.” And Rose, the character in Star Wars most established as having an affinity for animals, doesn’t even get to have a moment during the cavalry charge which the movie calls out as unusual in using animals!

Finn and Poe got lots of screen time, but no development or resolution. Poe ended the Last Jedi realizing he made leadership mistakes that endangered people. When he becomes acting general in Rise of Skywalker, however, there’s no tension. Hell, if they’d even framed him asking Finn to help him lead a bit more seriously, but it became a throwaway joke where Finn’s like “aw thanks bro, but let’s talk about Rey again!” They could have built on the moment Poe thinks the plan will fail because no one has shown up, just like his last plan failed, but nope. And let’s not even talk about the shoehorned in “spice runner” nonsense. Finn and Jannah spent time talking and did the final mission together, but didn’t get a hug scene at the end. Jannah’s just chatting with Lando who she’s never met about finding out where she came from - why wasn’t that convo with Finn, the former stormtrooper who has the same exact problem? Finn doesn’t even get to resolve character points brought up in THIS movie. He’s just never gonna tell Rey or Poe or the audience his big secret.

Rey Palpatine is... weird. I can sort of, almost get behind it - Secret Lost Dark Wizard Princess is the kind of campy ridiculous over the top shit I would normally adore. And the scene of Rey exploring the Death Star was *finger kisses* BUT. WHO WAS THE EMPEROR FUCKING. WHEN DID THIS OCCUR. What was his son’s life like - was he secret, or did everyone know there was a Crown Prince of the Galactic Empire? Did he live in luxury as a child, or poverty because he was secret? Naboo, Coruscant, elsewhere? Who married him? Did she know who he was?

The timeline is really weird, too. Rey is 19 in Force Awakens, which is 34 ABY. The Return of the Jedi happens in 4 ABY, so Rey was conceived about 10 years AFTER the Emperor “died.” And she’s not an infant when they abandon her, so the Emperor’s son is running and hiding from his father approximately 15 years after his father (supposedly) died? He didn’t think to tell anyone his dad was still alive??? Who did the Emperor have working for him at that point to conduct this manhunt - Imperial remnants? Proto-First Order? Why was it so difficult to escape from this manhunt that they sold their daughter into slavery to hide her? Obi-Wan was able to hide two children in fairly obvious locales while the Empire was active - they just got that much better at finding missing kids, apparently.

Hux being the spy was fucking hilarious, but none of that storyline made sense. Rescuing Finn, Poe, and Chewie isn’t going to help defeat Kylo Ren. And no way he thought that cover story was good enough - his selfish, survivor ass would have gotten on the Falcon before anyone thought to stop him. Also he apparently did nothing to damage Kylo Ren’s reputation in the First Order with the extremely suspect circumstances of Snoke’s death.

Leia DIED after one short Force projection, but Luke managed a whole fight sequence. But Leia was a fully trained Jedi the whole time! Wut. I’m sorry, while I am here for Leia is powerful in the Force and could be a Jedi if she wanted, I also like Leia decided not to be a Jedi to focus on her political career and was a little afraid of her temper leading her to the dark side if she trained as a Jedi. And if she was a fully trained Jedi how come she couldn’t keep Ben with her and train him herself and maybe keep him from feeling so abandoned and rejected by his family that he fell to the dark side? Plus, she quit being a Jedi because she had a vision it would end in her son’s death and STILL...

Kylo/Ben dying was too sad and I hate it. But since it happened, how dare they not at least show him as a Force ghost with his mom and uncle at the end? They wanted him to come back home / to the light so badly and the Death Star scenes made it clear he missed Leia terribly. And he doesn’t even appear with them in the afterlife when they visit Rey, who he was Force bonded with and died to save? He doesn’t even get that tiny sliver of happy ending in canon and it’s so unfair.

And after all that Rey goes to Tattooine instead of Naboo. The disrespect. No one liked being on Tattooine - not Anakin, not Luke. Leia never even went there. Anakin liked Naboo. He got married there. Luke and Leia’s mom was from Naboo. In one of the new novels, Leia visits the Naboo system. Rey’s grandpa was from Naboo, even if he was the most terrible person in the galaxy. Naboo is a nice place and it’s green which Rey was really into two movies ago and instead she goes to Another Fucking Desert Planet to close the whole series.

[dangerouslysmartslime]

Let’s Write About While Watching: LEGO Star Wars Holiday Special (2020)

This is a celebration of Life Day (Winter Veil tiding) only for the Sequel Trilogy. Rey is the main character here, instead of a big mess with the wookiee family of Chewbacca. With freedom restored Life Day could once again be celebrated, so to Kashyyk again we go. Finn and Rey are working on training with a lightsaber, that Rey senses force potential in Finn, and Finn ends up not “letting go” as she tries to read the ancient texts. When traveling down a wrong path, one must find another, a new path. That she is actually challenged. She ain’t a Mary Sue you hacks! There are other parts of the crew post Rise of Skywalker for celebrating Life Day, and Rey continues to study the Jedi texts as she doesn’t know what she is missing. As she is not as nmater in the forc,e of both darkness and light. And this is where I wish that she had a teacher, whether of Light like Luke or Dark like the OC Aliana (not Kylo Ren, he’s shite). And apparently there is a prophecy on Kordoku to help them both with training. That Life Day is today so they have to go. Chewie is knowing about the fact that family and spending time with each other. So Rey is trying to balance training and spending time with people. BB8 leaves and then a sir cries and says “I have a plan” and they know that his plans are terrible. So he resolves to make the biggest party ever with the best food. Rey didn’t take Finn with her to the Jedi Temple on Kordoku. It is a very snowy place with an Aurora Borealis all around it, then again such is probably not the mame for winter lights in general, just for Northern lights or such. Rey looks through the ruins and finds the symbol the Jedi are known for and inside is a green Kyber Crystal wrapped in linen, and with waving it she created a portal. So her and BB8 walk in to explore what’s next. A force gateway to… Empire Strikes Back where Luke was training with Yoda. She found that such is true and she thinks that it is a lot more interesting than it really is. That she could learn something from Master and Apprentice. “Do or do not, there is no try” “Participation trophies for Jedi, there are not” That is an amusing quote, and then there’s a sea monster which is right behind Rey, so they had to get out, and then to the next place. Watch other Jedi masters train their students. Do or do not and I’m going to do, he says. Obi-wan and Qui-Gonn Jinn are together at the start of The Phantom Menace, only for the appearance of Attack of the Clones where they see Anakin and Obi-wan talking about the fact that Anakin loves Padme. Jumping to Luke, where she ends up in his cockpit and they still need to shoot. “Listen to your master, use the force!” The shot goes through, which guiding a shot into the exhaust port is rather odd. Technically Rey did help him blow up the Death Star, and she thought that it was awesome. Switching back to Finn, Chewie, Rose, and… Captain turned general… He ends up burning a  porg. Rey reflects on all of the things that she saw with the time traveling Kyber crystal and it was rather intersting, so then she jumped into a new portal caused by the crystal and then there is a monologue from Sidious. Death Star Two is commented as derivative, Starkiller Base was thought of by Vader, “Galaxy’s Best Emperor” only for Vader to be send into the future with Rey to find what happened. Return of the Jedi Vader vs Rise of Skywalker Rey… Interesting. Then the family of Chewmbacca comes and they start getting into a ruckus. Then I findally remembered the camptain turned general’s name is Poe Dameron. “All too easy, now I have the… what is this thing.” Quite humorous, and the fact that they are fighting and Vader didn’t know from what point in time she was so he assumed that it was during RotJ. “Impressive, I almost feel bad having to destroy you.” There are two Darth Vader’s because of there being RotJ Vader and ESB Vader, so they end up fighting. They say that their skills are impressive, only to conclude that they are the same being and agree to kill Rey. Rey runs off along with a Snowtrooper, where the RotJ Vader follows Rey as they appear on Mustafar where Anakin and Obi-wan were fighting in Revenge of the Sith. This is entertaining, only for The Child with The Mandalorian to show up in their adventures so Rey and Vader agree that The Child is cute. Only to continue fighting. Clone Wars have two clones talking about hating traffic duty, they joined the chase with Pod Racers from The Phantom Menace’s Pod Race scene. Then there are some from the ESB Hoth base, space battles, only to appear in A New Hope’s opening shot with Luke Skywalker drinking blue milk and a bunch of people from different points in time fighting amongst each other. Different versions of Jedi and Sith, clone troopers and stormtroopers. Only for Luke from ANH to chase after them and the key is taken by BB8 and then Vader is almost done taking it and the mug… He succeeds so now there’s ANH Luke and Rey in the temple. Kylo Ren is found dancing around saying that he’s Surpreme Leader, and Hux ends up perving on him. Palpatine and Vader are found by him and it is commented that Kylo Ren is a total fanboy. Palpatine doesn’t doesn’t rule anything, so Kylo is told to put on a shirt. Luke and Rey end up talking and Luke is at the point in time where he doesn’t know who Darth Vader is or the fact that he is Luke’s father… Although Vader did hint at that in a conversation. Kylo Ren finishes the story of RotJ to Rise of Skywalker. Kylo Ren speaks of the fact that he didn’t kill his master by Reactor Shaft, but didn’t tell Palpatine that he would kill his master in a different way. So now Palpatine is trying to work on stealing the time to have an Infinite Empire… Switch back to Finn and Poe, Finn sings Huttese Jingle Bells. Rather entertaining, as Poe Dameron. Palpatine likes everything that Kylo says, even things which Vader already said like Starkiller Base being seen as a good name when said by Kylo but when said by Vader it was a ‘lame name’ (earlier in the special). One thing that Disney does know how to deal with is making fun of the movie series along with the fan perception of it, while having cheesy bits like Huttese Jingle Bells, just as in the original Holiday Special Luke, Leia, and Han were on Kashyyyk to spend time with Chewbacca for Life Day. Skywalker is on the forest moon of Endor, so Vader is told to go and get him. Sending Vader down to pick up Luke when it would go to the same chain of events? Well, Palpatine now has Kylo Ren instead of Vader. Voda’s force ghost appears to Rey while she’s moping to herself, and it is noted that failure is important, to be a better student and a better teacher. One for doing a reminder of A Chrismas Tale from Charles Dickens. So focused on the books that she forgot the most important part. Useless knowledge is without connection. That there are friends that people have, and not just the connection between master and Padawan. Luke then talks to Rey about what was being said, while kind of just repeating it. “Had the power al along” So then she alights kyber crystals and they swirl together, along with holding the hands of ANH Luke to create a large portal using those crystals back to ANH. Kylo Ren like having a swirly chair. It is noted that Kylo Ren loves his grandpa so doesn’t want to send him down the shaft, two lightsabers of Kylo and Rey, then there is ANH Luke throwing milk at Kylo Ren, only for BB8 to stop him and then Rey to stop him. Uncle Luke “Uncle” “What did you mean by destroy Vader too?” Stop everyone in a  black cape. “All of us, make with the fighty fighty!” So now there’s two versions of Luke around, Kylo, and Rey, as Palpatine is a pain in the ass. “Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy” “Really should’ve seen that coming” Only for Kylo Ren to fall back into his chair and he gets really angsty, destroying his chair with his lightsaber. Now it’s Rey, Vader, Rey, and Luke… “You’ve failed before, you’ve failed again.” I do enjoy the jokes that Palpatine has, only for Rey to stop him by having the help of Vader and Luke? “Luke, do you remember the first Jedi lesson you ever knew?” That she already knows and then Palpatine is still thrown into the reactor shaft. “Hey, what’s with the sweater” only say “Happy Life Day” Then Palpatine reflects on the fact that he a complete asshole and is always so mean, so he gets a Scrooge Reflection while he is falling to his death that being on the Dark Side and ruling the galaxy isn’t that good of an idea. Which is rather amusing but for something to actually come of that would be odd. Where Luke drinks his blue milk and reflects on what just happened, as Rey sends everyone else back to their proper time, puts the crystal back, and then gets back to the Millenium Falcon to the Life Day party. Rey actually sows up and speaks of the fact that she actually made it back in time, only for BB8 to tell the adventure to C3PO. There was a reflection that Finn is ready to become a  Jedi and Rey to train him, as for the events, snow on Kashyyyk and Finn accidently destroys the table with the lightsaber. Plus it’s a yellow lightsaber, which is traditionally mainly used by Jedi Temple Guards. Well… That was the end and it was quite interesting. That plus the fact that apparently another LEGO special for Star Wars is a Battle Droid RO-GR which came from Clone Wars to fighting the First Order.

[mrspettyferr]

19 Years Later

Inspired by the epilogue of Harry Potter

No matter how many years had passed, it was strange to see the isolated planet of Ahch-To crowded with so many ships and people. The Lanai did their best to round up the anxious children, many of which were playing with practice sabers or trying to catch a glimpse of the thala-sirens lounging among the jagged cliffs. Some chased after porgs or skipped along the rocky paths. The padawans were more disciplined, chatting in small groups or staying close to their parents.

For Rey Solo, she was caught up in the memories, watching it all with a quiet sense of contentment. The once ruined huts and structures had been rebuilt, made of dilapidated stone and rock. There were even temples now, classrooms for the younglings and padawans, and landing pads made of grey slab had been built offshore to accommodate the incoming ships.

Some of the Masters had made an appearance, floating among the grassy hills and rock-like structures, their pearly glow frightening some of the younger children. Lando Calrissian was among them, grinning wickedly as he always did on this day. He enjoyed watching the disbelieving students as they came to realize that many of their Masters were, in fact, Force ghosts. Luke Skywalker would be among them, but of course he always made his grand entrance at the opening ceremony.

“Oh!”

Rey was pitched forward as Leia bumped into her, the young girl’s knapsack bouncing on her back as she rushed past.

“Leia, don’t wander off too far!” Rey called after her. This was her third year, and she was finally of age to select her Kyber crystal. It was all she talked about these last few months.

Not far behind came the endless arguing that had not stopped since they left Takodana.

“They don’t really eat people,” Anakin said, sounding less confident than his words implied. “That’s just a stupid rumor.”

“Yes, they do,” his twin sister insisted. “And they’re going to eat you if you don’t—”

“Hanna,” Rey warned.

“They won’t eat me, of course,” Hanna went on, tucking back a strand of wavy black hair that never quite managed to stay confined to her braid. “They only eat darksiders.”

“I won’t be a darksider!” Anakin argued, his dark eyes flaring, his cheeks flushing. “Maybe you will be!”

“Maybe you’ll be neither,” she said with a smirk.

“Hanna, that’s enough,” came Ben’s deep voice as he finally emerged. He was wearing his formal Senator robes, which looked out of place among all the green and sunshine.

“What?” Hanna asked innocently. “I’m only repeating what Master Luke said.”

“He didn’t say that. He—” Ben paused, seeming to think it over and coming to the same conclusion as Rey.

“He probably did,” she muttered, shaking her head. She turned to the twins. “Thala-sirens are harmless. Now, grab your bags and we’ll find Uncle Finn and Aunt Rose.”

After the opening ceremony and welcoming feast—which parents were encouraged to attend—they would travel to Naboo, the new seat for the Galactic Senate. Ben was a Senator, and they—along with the kids—often traveled between Takodana and Naboo, where they kept an apartment. Rey, having no desire for politics, ran her own mechanic shop right out of their home on Takodana. It was a castle, after all, and she preferred the smell of oil and rust to the cantina that Maz had established. Maz spent most of her time traveling the galaxy with Chewie. After the war, she had practically forced Ben into restoring the castle to it’s former glory.

“You destroyed it, least you can do is fix it,” she had said. But when they finished, more than a year later, Maz hadn’t moved back in. She only waived them off and said, “Take it, it’s yours. I have no need for it. But the statue stays.”

It didn’t take long to find their friends. Finn was crouched down before his daughter, triple checking her bags and sprouting more advice that Rey was sure Paige did not ask for.

“Stay away from the cliffs. Storms bring in strong currents. Don’t go near the nexus, you know it’s forbidden until seventh year. And don’t listen to Lando, the porgs aren’t venomous. But if they do bite you, just—” His gaze whipped up to Rose, who was watching it all in amusement. “Did you pack enough bandages? What if she—"

“It’s school, not the military, dad,” Paige grumbled.

“I just want you to be prepared,” Finn insisted, reaching out to pat her impossibly curly black hair.

“I think you’re prepared enough for all of us,” Rose teased. She waved when she spotted Rey, Ben, and the twins approaching. Finn followed her gaze; then he bounced up, grinning wide.

“Uncle Finn!” the twins chorused, running forward and half tackling him with a hug.

“Hey! Look at you two. Wow, how tall you’ve grown, Anakin. And Hanna, is that…a blaster?” He looked at Rey with mild alarm.

“Yeah! Want to see how good I am?”

“No, no,” Finn said quickly, throwing up his hands. “Let’s keep that holstered before…anyone…” He was glancing nervously around now. “…sees…a child with a blaster…”

Rey shook her head, a smile tugging at her mouth, and pulled him into a hug as the twins went to Rose and Paige.

“Giving the eleven-year-old a blaster now?” he muttered so only she could hear.

“They should know how to use them properly,” said Rey. Then she amended, “I caught the kids playing with them as toys and figured it was better to instruct properly. Don’t worry, she’s not allowed to keep it here.” 

Finn’s body rumbled as he laughed. “It’s been too long.”

“It has,” she agreed, pulling back. “How’s Poe? I missed him at our last trip to Naboo.”

“Ah, the General is always busy.” Finn still gave his friend a hard time about the title, especially when he had to use it in public. His expression faltered slightly as he looked past Rey to Ben, who had approached with quiet stealth.

“Solo,” Finn greeted a little formally. It took him almost a year to break the habit of calling him Ren.

Ben inclined his head. “Soldier.”

Finn coughed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Commander, actually.”

“I fail to notice the difference under Dameron’s command.”

Finn muttered something under his breath, but a reluctant grin tugged at his lips.

Rey and Rose exchanged a look, rolling their eyes. Despite the fact that Ben had worked with the Resistance to defeat Palpatine all those years ago, a bit of tension still remained between the two of them. Rey didn’t know if it would ever truly fade, but they were civil and on occasion, even friendly.

Rose on the other hand was more forgiving, and now she offered Ben a warm smile. “Good to see you, Ben.”

His lips parted slightly—not a smile, but a friendly enough gesture. His smiles were rare, reserved only for his family. “You as well,” he said.

“Mother, I want to find Grandpa Han” said Hanna, tugging on Rey’s arm, a slight whine to her voice.

“Me too,” Anakin chimed in.

“Can I go, too?” Paige asked Rose.

“We need to get you all settled first,” Rey said. “And we need to find your sister…”

Her voice trailed off as she searched for Leia. The girl was a curious thing, disappearing all over the castle when she was a child. She was probably looking for Han, too.

Rey wasn’t sure if it was because of the sacred grounds, or some other unexplained thread of fate, but the Force ghosts could manifest permanently on this island. They could manifest anywhere, if they wanted, but it was more difficult. Here, they were free.

Han refused to call himself a Master, and spent most of his time telling the students stories. But occasionally he would teach them about mechanics and piloting, insisting even Force wielders should learn the basics. Leia on the other hand did insist the students call her General or Master, to both Luke and Han’s amusement.

Rey felt a surge of relief when her eldest finally appeared, panting, as though she had just climbed the steep stairs to the monastery at the top of the island. Her brown hair was straight like Rey’s, her bangs messy and ribbon half undone, as though she had rolled out of bed and done very little to tame her hair. Which was usually the case. She looked sweaty and her ivory robes were already spotted with dirt and earth.

“Where have you been?” Rey demanded. “I told you not to wander off.”

“Everywhere,” Leia answered breathlessly. When she finally caught her breath, she straightened a bit, her eyes widening with some newfound enlightenment. “I’ll say this, though. I’m never drinking that green milk again.”

They all laughed, and Ben finally smiled.

- - -

Once the students were all settled into their lodgings, it was time to head to the Great Temple. Each new student would be called forward and tested, like they were when they first showed signs of being Force-sensitive. But this testing was necessary before entering secondary school here on Ahch-To, to reveal which side of the Force they leaned closer to, if either.

It was still a concept that was met with some reluctance. After Palpatine’s fall, more and more children and even teenagers seemed to become Force-sensitive. Old ties to both the Empire and the Republic, to the First Order and the Resistance, created a rift. This sense of division had been long engraved, a strong reason why peace could never be established for long.

When Rey and Ben had come together to defeat Palpatine and his army, they had done so by uniting factions of the First Order and the Resistance, by embracing the light and the dark side. By achieving balance.

Soon after, both Rey and Ben felt a call to Ahch-To. When they arrived, they found not just Luke, but other former Masters: the great Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Anakin Skywalker. Among them an idea bloomed, of restoring not the old Jedi Order, but a new order: the Order of the Force.

But it started with an academy, of training, when they became of age. On Ahch-To, Masters—both living and gone—taught light and dark histories and theories. Luke had been right, in a way. It was time for the way of the Jedi to die—not die entirely, but to change and grow.

The Force was the Force, the light and the dark and everything in between.

As they approached the temple, Leia scrambled inside to find her friends, Hanna trailing after her. But Anakin hesitated outside the entrance. Two girls and their parents moved past, trying not to stare. Rey was used to the staring, to the attention of being a war hero.

Frowning, she pulled her son aside, but before she could ask him what was the matter, he blurted, “What if I’m a darksider?”

Rey and Ben shared a glance. Their bond allowed them to communicate telepathically, but they didn’t need to in this moment. Ben crouched down, his huge frame nearly swallowing up Anakin.

“Leia was named after your grandmother,” he said quietly. “And Hanna, after your grandfather. But you…Anakin Ren Solo. You were named for two people. Both of which were powerful in the light side of the Force, and the dark side. They made some mistakes and bad choices, but even when they drifted too far into the dark side, they still found their way back to the light. They found their way home.” His eyes flicked up, meeting Rey’s, and her expression softened. “They are a testament that should you ever fall, no matter how far, you can still rise.”

“But what if—what if I’m neither?” 

“Then you will be like me.”

Anakin’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean? No one is more powerful in the Force than you, Dad.” He winced and shot an apologetic look at Rey, whose brows had raised slightly. “Except you, Mom. And High Master Skywalker. Does he count?”

Rey laughed, and Ben smiled a bit. “For many years I was conflicted, torn between the light and the dark,” he said. “I had to learn to find the balance. And maybe someday you’ll learn the same.”

The children knew some of Ben’s past as Kylo Ren, as Rey and Ben knew they could not hide it. He had dedicated the past nineteen years to restoring the galaxy, but some would never forgive him for the role he played among the First Order. And they did not want to lie or bury the past by denying it. But the children knew even less of his involvement with the First Order and the tragic upbringing that tore him apart for so long. Someday, when they were older, he would tell them all of it. 

Even with Ben’s admission, Anakin was still insistent. “But if I do lean to the dark side—”

“—then it only shows how passionate you are, Anakin,” Rey said gently, crouching down next to Ben. She reached out and brushed a strand of unruly black hair from Anakin’s eyes. When he made a face at her words, she added, “Passion comes from the heart. It’s part of what makes you human. And we will love and accept you no matter what side, if either, you lean toward.”

“Every student is different,” Ben added. “It’s only an evaluation to help the Masters find the best approach to their teachings. You, and only you, get to choose which path you walk. And you will never walk it alone, son. We promise you that.”

Anakin nodded, finally reassured. He took a deep breath and straightened, then marched into the temple with his chin high.

Rey and Ben stood, and caught Leia’s—Grandmother Leia’s—eye across the temple. She was the most regal of Force ghosts, elegant and noble, and her eyes shone with pride. Then she turned away, greeting a group of students who were demanding her attention.

“He’ll be all right,” Ben murmured, wrapping an arm around Rey.

She thought of Leia, Han, and Luke. She thought of Lando, of Obi-Wan, of Yoda. Of Finn and Rose and Paige. And she thought of herself and Ben, all looking after their family. They would never know the loneliness that Rey and Ben had. Never know what it felt like to be unloved or abandoned, to feel isolated and alone. They would never allow it.

“I know he will,” she said. “They all will.” 

She glanced up, and when Ben felt her gaze, he looked down at her. His expression softened, as it only did for her and their children. 

“Come on,” she said, “let’s go see what theatrical entrance Luke has in store this time.”

Ben groaned, but allowed her to tug him inside. “I refuse to applaud such dramatics.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t know anything about dramatics, Ben.” They found two empty seats in the back, next to a couple of Twi’lek’s that greeted them warmly.

His mouth twisted. “I would hardly call—”

“Shh, it’s about to begin,” she interrupted as the candles dimmed and the Force ghosts took their places at the front of the temple.

Ben sighed and took her hand in his own. Rey squeezed it, remembering the first time she had touched his hand across the stars on this very island. She felt him looking at her, and when she peered at him, she knew he was remembering the same thing.

So Rey smiled, and Ben smiled back.

All was well in the galaxy, and for the Solo’s, who finally had all they had been searching for.

Connection. Compassion. Family. Love. Acceptance. Belonging.

They would hang on, and never let it go.

[oceannocturne]

So I can’t stop thinking about Ben/Kylo’s ending. I didn’t like that he died at the end; it felt abrupt, but I’m not mad, like I see why they did it. Redemption through death is kind of a Skywalker thing (or at least an Anakin thing, and we all know how much Ben wants to be like his grandpa :P ). Even the Reylo kiss, even though it wasn’t my favorite, didn’t bother me too much.

I am disappointed that Ben’s redemption came so close to the end. I wish JJ Abrams had directed all three movies, or at least that the second one was better, so that they wouldn’t have had to cram So Much into this one.

Because listen. Ben Solo is a m a z i n g.

Kylo Ren? Whiny dweeb. Tries too hard. Walks into a room and instantly triggers eye-rolls so hard you see your brain.

Ben Solo? Unapologetically earnest. Badass. Has that obnoxious Skywalker trait of Not Staying Down except now it’s turned on the Sith so it’s Hilarious. 

Can you imagine? If he had started doubting the Dark Side in the second movie? And then maybe by halfway through the third he fully turns away from it and then spends the second half of the movie either helping Rey and Co. or else chasing after them trying to explain that ‘no I’m on your side now’. We could’ve had Space Zuko, essentially!

And I would’ve loved to see more of his and Rey’s interactions now that he’s on the Light Side (or at least not on the Dark Side) (side note, Rey’s yellow lightsaber made me SO HAPPY). He’s Rey’s last living connection to her two mentors, beside Force ghosts (side side note: Leia taught Rey!!! SO HAPPY!!!). He can help her avoid the kind of mindset and emotional volatility that lead to the Dark Side! She can help him see his parents in a new light, as she knew them, as teachers, as imperfect people who were Trying Their Best!

Ben and Poe. Ben and Finn. Ben and Poe and Finn, at least until Finn is finally convinced that Ben is genuinely on their side now and has to spend the rest of the movie stepping in whenever Ben and Poe get within ten feet of each other because Poe just will not Let It Go. 

Ben helping them destroy the fleet because he’s a Sith Fanboy and has studied all the blueprints probably, at some point, like a nerd. And then Ben going back to the Resistance base, and burying his mother (or whatever they do in space), and figuring things out, and being shunned by everyone and being so awkward about it until Rey and Finn and Poe (who Finn drags along) sit with him at lunch or some other gesture and people start approaching him, mostly ex-Storm Troopers and other First Order deserters, because they Get It, kind of. And Ben being totally awkward about it and mostly ignoring them because he doesn’t know How To People, but that just makes people like him more. Like a cat that ignores you so you keep trying to get their attention (he’s totally baffled by the droids but they’ve made it their personal mission to keep him out of trouble so he finds himself followed wherever he goes, including one embarrassing incident in the shower).

Ben eventually making a new lightsaber and going around the galaxy, helping to train Force-sensitive children. Not taking them from their parents, because he would probably have Issues with that, but maybe offering some kind of space boarding school? Doing what Luke did, essentially, but being oh so careful about it all. 

Ben getting Force visions of his mother and father, until one night a man with brown hair and a robotic arm appears and just stares at him for a long, long time. This goes on for several nights until finally the man nods, and smiles, and tells him a story about a slave boy and the old Jedi Order and the chains that the Dark Side disguises as freedom. And he says that he is so, so glad to see the last of his line fully free at last. 

tl;dr Ben Solo had amazing character potential and I wish we go to see more of him and also that he didn’t die at the end

[galindathrop]

The Rise of Skywalker Review

I’ve seen this movie twice now. I wanted to write a review before Christmas but my phone was being stupid and deleted the original draft. So here is the good, the bad, and the stupid of TROS! Spoilers!

The good: 

The movie opening with Kylo fucking shit up. 

Poe piloting the falcon and lightspeed jumping. 

TBH I liked Rey and Poe’s bickering. It would make sense they don’t get along. Their personalities clash a bit. 

MASTER LEIA ORGANA SOLO SKYWALKER

Billie Lourd (Carrie’s daughter) rocking Leia’s ROTJ hairstyle

Babu Frik is cute. I want one. 

Rey deflecting Palpatine’s lightning back at him, making Palps kill himself and come back in 10 years because original ideas don’t exist anymore

Hux being the spy. “I knew it!” “No you didn’t.”

Rey and Ben = Force Dyad

Kylo and Rey’s fight on the death star. Fighting to the music. 

Rey healing Ben. He’s Ben now. Kylo Ren is dead. 

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand” 

Rey and Luke’s heart to heart. I felt like they truely had a connection. “Good” people, with bad dads and grandpas. 

Rey stealing Kylo’s tie and burning it. BDE

Chewie breaking down over Leia’s death. It was sad but a good moment.

I like Jannah. She’s cool and deserved more screentime. 

Ben and Han’s talk

Someone Palpatine calling and acknowledging Ben Solo as the last skywalker

Reylo is cannon!

Rey’s yellow lightsaber

I liked C3P0 in this movie

I love D0. My new favorite droid. 

Ben healing Rey. 

Finn being force sensitive.

Lutinant Connix (Billie’s character) helping Leia when she uses her energy. I cried a bit. 

Past Jedi helping Rey. 

The bad: 

Finn’s “character”. I hope we get a deleted scene of him using the force on the blu-ray. 

Zori was a forced character. 

The multiple death fakeouts.

Leia’s character. 

Ben Solo dying

Rey not acknowledging it. 

Rose barely being in the movie. I wasn’t a fan of her but at least put her in the film so we can know her more. 

Forced trio

Luke wasn’t very good in this movie. 

Disregarding cannon and making Poe Dameron a spice runner. 

No Anakin Skywalker force ghost. 

The stupid: 

REY PALPATINE, of all the people for her to be related to. 

Ben tossing the saber in the ocean. Like it would have stabilized itself

Ben not speaking after he becomes himself again. 

REY NOT MOURING BEN!

Kylo fixing his helmet and only wearing it for 2 scenes

Everyone wanting to know Rey’s last name. 

REY SKYWALKER IS STUPID, should have been Solo or just Rey

Jannah should have been revealed as Lando’s daughter. 

Leia’s body lying around for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

Ben immediately dying after kissing his dyad.

“If I stay a jedi, my son will die.” Ben Solo: *dies anyway*

Luke and Leia always knowing Rey was a Palpatine but giving up on Ben because he has too much Vader in him. 

Jar of pickled Snokes.

But hey at least Reylo is cannon. Overall, 7 out of 10. Good but the last 10 minutes ruined it. 

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

So I saw the new Star Wars movie

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT PEOPLE

First off: I went to a marathon of the whole sequel trilogy with my friends, and I’m glad that I did, because I forgot A LOT.

Mostly how many good memes there were born out of those films.

The Force Awakens evoked pretty much the same feeling it did during the first watching: it’s a good, enjoyable beginning, with a lot of hooks, not a lot of risks, a bit too much resemblance to the original trilogy, but on the whole a promising start.

The Last Jedi, on the other hand. I forgot how effectively this movie killed my interest in Star Wars for a long, long while. The plot is a mess. Most of the characters are unlikeable, because the idiot balls they’re holding are too big to get past them. Main offenders are: Poe, Hondo, Finn and Rose. The unfortunate Casino subplot, which is tiring. The fact that whoever wrote Rose’s character arc (or rather didn’t bother to write it) did the actress massive disservice, because the way Rose “saves” Finn at the last minute is, frankly, rage inducing and makes her character devoid of any shred of consistency. I have a lot of other complaints about this movie, but the storylines not making sense are a common theme, so let’s not rehash the familiar arguments.

Now, onto the main event.

The Rise of the Skywalker was… mostly okay.

For me personally, it would be hard to match the disappointment of TLJ, so this worked to lift the sequel ROTS up. I went in pretty much unspoiled, actually! I heard the “oh they plan to bring Palpatine back” thing back when the first teaser/trailer was released. But after that nothing more.

Number one: Leia.

It’s such a shame that Carrie Fisher didn’t get to act in this movie. There are several scenes with Leia mentoring Rey, but it is obvious the filmmakers went as far as they could with the footage they had available, but could go no further. Some scenes with Luke and Han (Han especially) are obviously done with Mark and Harrison standing in for Carrie.

Number two: Palpatine and the theme of Rey’s legacy.

This is where the lack of overall plan for the sequel trilogy, and subsequent lack of proper foreshadowing in TFA and TLJ hurts the most, probably. So Rey is revealed to be Palpatine’s granddaughter. Her parents chose to abandon her for her own safety and were killed when they refused to give up her location. Okay, that’s interesting backstory. Sadly, after the WHO ARE REY PARENTS… PERHAPS SOMEONE WE KNOW and the OMG PLOT TWIST SHE’S NO ONE AND HE PARENTS DIDN’T CARE FOR HER AT ALL, the third plot twist gets me merely to roll my eyes and sigh heavily. I wish dearly there was more time to develop this storyline. It’s wasn’t ENTIRELY bad, but the whole thing has this feel of “uhhh people were really pissed off after the last one… what can we do to fix it?? Oh shit we kinda killed Snoke too and there is Big Bad Villain missing bc we want to redeem Kylo… you know what?? Palpatine was the big bad in prequels AND in the original… let’s have a dramatic reveal how it was him all along. It will nicely bring the story back full circle, you know” and so they did just that.

Nr two subsection A: the whole Sith legacy/Final Order thing was interesting, but again: too little time to develop it. It should have been tied into First Order and Snoke in previous movies… and the less said about Deus Ex Machina Sith Fleet in which every ship has a planet-killing weapon on board the better. Just don’t thing about it too much PLEASE.

Conclusion: Snoke was Palpatine’s test tube baby experiment? That actually explains a lot…

Number three: redemption of Ben Solo.

Honestly, this one? Is actually a net positive for me! I had so little patience for Kylo Ren as a villain that redemption storyline actually made me like Ben Solo in the last part of the movie (AT LAST). And while two first movies had me uninterested in Reylo to the point of irritation at its prevalence, the last movie actually made me ship it a little! Maybe I’m a sucker for redemption. Maybe I don’t have patience for characters who themselves have no idea why are they doing what are they doing and they kinda maybe might not want to do it but continue to do it because it’s easier than giving it up aaand you get the picture how I saw Kylo Ren. And how glad I’m that Ben Solo at the end got to move past this stage of his character.

Also, the Reylo Force Skype was strong in this one. And how!

Number four: Finn and the Stormtroopers deserters.

Again, this should have been in TLJ. They should have taken this whole storyline about Finn meeting other deserters from First Order out of sequel ROTS and replaced the goddamn casino thing with it in TLJ. Sadly, they only thought of putting it in the script once the fanbase got pissed off about lack of Finn’s character development/his BACKWARDS character development in TLJ.

Consequently, Rose was sidelined. On one hand, it’s a shame. On the other, I’m a bit relieved; after the mess they made of her arc in TLJ, there was no salvaging it. It’s better to let the actress have a few scenes to note that she didn’t just disappear from the plot, but don’t try to aggressively resurrect her plot and make an even bigger mess.

The unintentionally hilarious thing about this point: Finn suddenly comes across as such Casanova. Here’s Rose! Here’s Stormtrooper deserter lady! (sorry, I forgot her name). Here’s a sly hint that he might have feelings for Rey!! Pick a girl, for god’s sake!!!

Nr four subsection A: Poe also got an old flame lady Who Happens To Help Our Heroes. Just so you know that he’s definitely into ladies, you know, just a heterosexual dude… The relationship in the movie is handled actually pretty well – they’re old flames and while Poe wants to rekindle the relationship, the lady is ultimately like “nope” and the Poe does “aw” face and moves on, so pretty classy overall. Just in the context of Finnpoe and great chemistry they had in the first movie? This is such a shame.

Number five: Poe in charge and the Resistance thing.

Poe’s storyline in The Last Jedi totally ruined this for me, sorry. I couldn’t even get all that invested.

Also, it feels at times like the movie wants to have Poe taking up Leia’s legacy, Rey taking up Leia’s legacy, Ben taking up his mother’s legacy and you know what? Leia’s legacy is big. There’s definitely enough to go around! TOO BAD THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE MOVIE TO SHOW ALL THIS PROPERLY YOU KNOW GOD I WISH THERE WAS MORE ABOUT LEIA’S JEDI TRAINING

Number six: the ending.

Rey and Ben fighting together – I was actually finally sold on Reylo at this point. Their fight together in TLJ against Snoke’s guards was pretty cool (one of few good things in THAT movie), and here their shared fight against Palpatine/Knights of Ren (?) was also great.

Palpatine shooting the force lighting into the sky to disable the whole Rebel fleet and friends apparently got someone in the cinema to go “seriously?!” out loud, as my friends report. Enough said.

Rey dying and Ben trying to bring her back to life: this part actually got me really excited. For a moment there I thought that Ben would fail, and the force ghost Anakin would show up to Deliver Some Hard Earned Wisdom About Bringing People Back To Life And How You Can’t Do It and this would be a very satisfying ending to the whole “Ben/Kylo tries to be Just Like Grandpa Vader” storyline. Well, that didn’t happen.

The fact that Ben brough Rey back, then kissed her passionately, and then IMMEDIATELY KEELED OVER DEAD got the whole theatre laughing (me included). Again, enough said.

The “Galaxy Shows Up To Help Out BC The Resistance Asked Twice And They Felt Bad After Ignoring The First Call”: I got it. You want your feel good moment here. Look how happy ending is when the people of galaxy unite together, aww. Sadly, when you think about it for a two seconds more, this is such a bullshit and disservice to Leia, because the implication is that they didn’t pick up when LEIA was calling, but decided to help after all when LANDO asked… What??? Go fuck yourselves.

The ending-ending was ok. Rey, Finn and Poe hugged (aww!). Two ladies kissing in that 0.5 sec long shot are all Disney needs to show how open-minded they are*. That one kiss with Ben was apparently enough to marry Rey into the family, she’s a Skywalker now. Leia and Luke look approvingly on as they force ghost along, that’s nice.

At least people who wanted Rey to have a double blade got what they wanted in the end.

 *So it’s actually genuinely good that scenes like these ARE put into cashcow franchises like Star Wars, but I’m hesitant to give Disney too much credit. Knowing them, they’ll just shove one blink-and-miss-it scene in all their movie and claim that’s comprehensive proof of their supportive approach to alternate lifestyles.

[unicornmagic]

TLJ

Spoilers ho.

I realize this is Star Wars, not Star Peaces...but in theory there've been thousands of years in which the Jedi Order wasn't in the tormented throes of annihilation/rebirth, and I came out of this film feeling slightly desperate to see that on screen.  Because like @belldreams I'm pretty done with this endless cycle of implosion/restart/implosion--it's wearing me out.  Yet one gets no sense that the film franchise will ever offer a vision of something different and more sustainable, not least because that'd mean breaking out of established (proven cash cow) parameters.  On a related note, could everybody in this universe maybe just...read some Le Guin and/or some actual Taoist and Buddhist philosophy, and try to chill the fuck out about duality?  Christ on a cracker

I still love Rey, and still have zero fucks to give about Kylo and his conflicted fuckwit soul.  In fairness, I never had any fucks to give about Anakin, either, but at least Anakin had some slightly better excuses for becoming a mass murderer.  (NB: There are no actual excuses for this.)  The thing is, I know a lot of other viewers did give fucks about Anakin, and I can see why one would, so I don't regard it as a failing of the first six films that I personally didn’t give a crap.  In the case of Kylo, tho?  Why does anyone care idgi.  Is one even really supposed to care?  p.s. Why have the films been so silent on the Kylo-Leia mother-son relationship?  Because no one can shut up about daddy issues, ever?  Were they saving the mommy issues for the big finale 3rd movie, and now they're fucked because Carrie Fisher died?  Forget about Luke, I wanted to see this miserable little shit brought face to face with Mom--our beloved space princess--to see whether he’d murder her, too.

As for Reylo:  I see the yin/yang imagery, the attraction of opposites, the metaphorical sex dungeon throne room with red spilling everywhere, yadda yadda--and of course fans can and will ship whatever they want.  But if romantic Reylo is endgame in this trilogy, then pls just shoot my inner child in the head with a blaster now.  My inner six-year-old is not prepared to accept that her (long-awaited girl Jedi!) hero's destined romantic partner--as opposed to Dark counterpart--is a megalomaniacal patricidal mass-murdering mind-raping fuckwit bully, whose """redemption""" is Rey's fated responsibility.  (Maybe it was cute in the Victorian era for women to civilize and humanize monstrous men, and I enjoy some good old-fashioned Beauty and the Beast-style Stockholm Syndrome as much as anybody...but NOT HERE, NOT NOW.)  Thank gawd Rey fails at bringing Kylo around in TLJ, since that at least suggests--rightly so--that it's Kylo's own damned job to stop being a shitstain.

In light of SW precedent, I suppose it's inevitable that Kylo will get spiritually """redeemed""" somehow in part 3--blargh, fine, whatever--but if he survives rather than getting redeemed in death like his idol Grandpa Vader, then he better wind up in a nice Republic prison for murdering a whole lotta people including his dad.  Or idk, maybe dump him on Ahch-To, let him eat Porg (HE WOULD) and be trolled by the ghost of Uncle Luke forever.  Because redemption is nice, but so is fucking J U S T I C E #2017 mood

Random asides follow. XD

Things I Liked:

The unsubtle animal welfare agenda

That the film promptly showed us exactly what Luke was eating on that island, because I was worried about that

Luke giving his Force-projection self a stylin' black cloak for the big showdown lmao

That Rey is afraid--her fear is translucent--and yet she doesn't lose her shit due to fear, unlike every Skywalker male ever

Things That Continue To Drive Me Bugfucking Nuts:

PEOPLE EXPERTLY WIELDING LIGHTSABERS DESPITE HAVING ALMOST ZERO TRAINING IN THEIR USE

[irinapaleolog]

What is Star Wars about, really? It’s a good question, one we’ve pondered for 42 years. Star Wars is so broad, so dense, and at times so frustratingly transparent, that you can graft just about any sort of meaning onto it. And yet, its mass appeal is often distilled to one word: Star Wars is about hope. But what does it mean to have hope?

Everyone will offer a different answer. Hope can mean defiance in the face of adversity. It can mean happily ever afters. It can mean togetherness, family, friendship–those little things worth fighting for, even knowing they’re temporary. At its best, Star Wars captures that, freezing tiny moments of hope in amber. Luke, Leia, and Han hugging after the destruction of the Death Star. Anakin Skywalker clutching the face of his pregnant wife, Padmé. Finn and Poe escaping the tyrannical First Order.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, the final film in this epic saga, is meant to tie a bow on the franchise, which began with A New Hope. Reasonably, one would expect those messages to come through more elegantly and emotionally than ever before. But the result is instead a sad case of confused identity. It’s a film that thinks it’s doing what it needs to, while ultimately delivering a series of rushed, soulless, and ill-defined points of logic. It’s “hopeful” if your idea of hope is tragic and cyclical to the point of feeling regurgitated. There are moments of optimism immediately staked through in heart in favor of “the next big set piece.” It’s a cruel and unsatisfying ending to a forty-year legacy, and one that feels openly critical of itself and everything it stands for, but shrugs its way to the finish line instead.

The Disney era of Lucasfilm was fit more for profit than integrity from the get-go, and the need to rush out a new episodic film loaded with the original’s stars felt as bankable as it was inevitable. Suffice it to say, the Star Wars sequel trilogy attracted critics, but the first two films shuffled through a variety of production woes to successful, appealing conclusions. J.J. Abrams’ The Force Awakens paired a new cast of characters with our legacy trio–Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Han Solo (Harrison Ford), and Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher)–creating a spark of whimsical magic that overshadowed its derivative setbacks. Rian Johnson delivered a wild animal of a sequel with The Last Jedi , a surprising and frankly revolutionary studio blockbuster that turned the series’ larger story on its head. It was as divisive as it was fertile with big, new, promising ideas. The film ended with the Force decentralized from a few exclusive bloodlines and democratized, reigniting hope in the galaxy.

Unfortunately, The Rise of Skywalker picks up on none of those loose threads. The film begins with a flippant dismissal of many if not all of The Last Jedi‘s themes. The opening crawl explains that Emperor Palpatine has inexplicably returned (and I do mean inexplicably–we never learn how), and has been orchestrating the First Order experiment from the beginning. Somehow, he groomed Ben Solo into Kylo Ren from afar, and now locks his sights on Rey from Jakku, our unruly, orphaned Force user and Kylo’s counterpart. From the outset, Abrams shrinks the Star Wars universe back down to a more immediately interconnected, even insular size. Palpatine is back because, uh, sure, why not?

The story plays out as antagonistically as that. Abrams, returning as co-writer/director to replace Colin Trevorrow, demonstrates a bewildering sense of his audience’s wants and needs. Does he think we don’t care about the mysterious resurrection of the saga’s most selfish and mystifying villain? Is he purposely leaving gaps in the story for canon material to fill in? Did he think a single thing out beyond “looks cool, feels OK, boom, bang?” Who knows. But the movie opens with the reintroduction of Palpatine, them immediately launches us into the Millennium Falcon, where Finn (John Boyega) and Poe (Oscar Isaac) quickly discover that there’s a mole in the First Order. We’re then teleported to a new Resistance base where Leia trains Rey (Daisy Ridley) in the ways of the Force. Before we’re oriented in this location, we’re shuffled into another adventure jam-packed with MacGuffins, whirlygigs, and ultimately dead ends.

The adventure is poorly defined and confusing, but Abrams doesn’t expect us to be smart. He’s content to race through every would-be meaningful moment at the quickest possible pace, exploiting that whiplash effect to distract us from the story’s garbled plotting. We know that our heroes are on a race to find Palpatine, and are looking for something called a “wayfinder” that will lead them to his location. There are only two wayfinders, and Kylo Ren finds the other one in an opening scene. Abrams creates a sense of urgency, but we don’t really know why, and no one seems convincingly terrified that the universe is on the brink of absolute annihilation. At least the original trilogy only featured one Death Star at a time, and developed centralized locations that defined personal stakes and brewed emotion. This film has a whole army of planet-destroying ships, locations with no names or personalities, and characters previously emphasized who are here utterly left to the wind.

And that’s the real failure of The Rise of Skywalker. It mishandles literally every character, except, arguably, C-3PO. Rey gets tacked onto a legacy story that erodes the entire thematic heart of not just The Last Jedi, but even Abrams’ own The Force Awakens. By some disgusting leap of imagination, she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter. Rey’s parents weren’t actually alcoholics who sold her for drinking money (a bit never reconciled), but good people who loved her enough to protect her from Gramps, and apparently, themselves. Finn (John Boyega) is suddenly and inexplicably Force sensitive, which is a nice little treat and possible nod to the end of The Last Jedi, but is only really employed to detect when Rey’s in peril. Outside of one nice moment with Jannah (Naomi Ackie), a fellow defected stormtrooper he meets on the road, his arc from indentured villain to Rebel hero goes largely unaddressed. Worse, even his relationship with Poe feels weirdly underdeveloped.

Poe (Oscar Isaac), meanwhile, is very much “present,” but that’s really all he is. He became something of a de facto leader at the end of The Last Jedi, but Abrams fails to hint at any sense of real authority or growth here. He bickers with Rey and continues to act like a self-important flyboy, echoing a roguish Han Solo-esque fearlessness, but where his presence is maximized, his importance really isn’t. His story and Leia’s should be more interconnected after she taught him a valuable lesson last time around, but the loss of Carrie Fisher unfortunately obstructs his development as a character. Using a mishmash of unused footage from The Force Awakens, they try to conjure her spirit elsewhere, but it doesn’t totally work. That said, the movie at least attempts to do right by her legacy.

Further, Leia’s death in the film helps create two of its best moments. She uses a last ounce of strength to send Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) a memory of his father, Han, who reappears with some paternal advice. It should be a silly moment, but tonally it absolutely works, sold completely by the fine work of Ford and Driver. As father and son reconnect, Kylo Ren finally transforms back into Ben Solo–he tosses his jagged lightsaber into the abyss and goes off to save Rey, who he loves. This whole sequence is preceded by a lightsaber duel where Kylo is left mortally wounded; Rey heals him, and confesses her feelings for the man he could be. Love–and hope–seem temporarily destined to win.

And they do… sort of? The third act is where The Rise of Skywalker totally loses sight of everything it’s trying to be. Rey is drawn into Palpatine’s lair, and there’s a lot of business about Sith and Jedi that doesn’t really make sense. Above them, the war between the “Final Order” (Palpatine’s new name for the galactic baddies) and the Resistance rages, a total lazy mirror to the end of Return of the Jedi. Palpatine wants to funnel his strength into Rey via some ancient ritual, but Ben shows up. Ben and Rey fight together against Palpatine, Rey summons the spirit of all of the Jedi who ever lived, and she beats her grandpa with his own superpower (in a very Harry Potter-esque showdown) before dying. Ben uses the last of his life power to resurrect her–a nice mirror of their Death Star scene earlier in the film–and they kiss. But he then dies, leaving Rey once again as the galaxy’s only real Force of hope. She temporarily reunites with the Resistance–who defeated the Final Order with the help of Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), appearing in the movie just long enough to serve as a deus ex machina–before jetting off to Tatooine. And finally, Rey takes on the last name Skywalker and sees Luke and Leia’s Force ghosts. The end.

Unbelievably, a lot more happens than that. Abrams introduces Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell), a fun, masked ex-fling of Poe’s who’s super cool but completely inconsequential to the plot. Kelly Marie Tran’s Rose Tico effectively takes a Resistance desk job, which feels particularly insulting after everything she accomplished in The Last Jedi. There are more “Force Skype” scenes between Rey and Kylo, and Rey confronts her own inner darkness, manifested in “Dark Rey,” while Abrams introduces a cute new droid named D-O, and throws a lot of other random things at the wall that never stick (like a visit with the ghost of Luke Skywalker during a temporary detour to Ahch-To). It’s as messy as it is ambitious, and Abrams and co-writer Chris Terrio’s deserve some credit for spinning such a clotted web that you’re frequently distracted from all of the holes in it.

But then there’s the whole hope thing. And there’s really no cohesive sense of it here. As a series-ender, this story should resonate more than it does. The Last Jedi contends with the past more, and better, than Skywalker does; it wrestled with the sins of the Jedi and Sith, and kicked open a bigger door for generations to come. Skywalker says nothing about where they, or we, go from here. It ends with Rey abandoned and alone, except for her Force ghost friends, on another desert planet. The one person in the galaxy who ever understood her dies. And he evidently doesn’t redeem himself successfully enough to become a Force ghost. Is death really the only avenue to peace and purpose? Effectively, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa all died to save Ben, who then died to save Rey. What is her next step? The movie doesn’t say, or seem to know. It’s a domino effect, with nothing but tragedy at the end of every spill.

That idea could work if the moments in between felt rewarding, or the losses served larger narrative or thematic ideas. But in this story, meant to be a conclusion to a single film, a trilogy and a nine-film saga, they don’t. Rey, Finn, and Poe share only a superficial sense of camaraderie. Their future adventures will lead to moments of happiness and enlightenment along the way. But why does Abrams ignore or de-emphasize those feelings? In The Rise of Skywalker, hope is little more than a ghost. And after more than 40 years, it’s one that Star Wars is still chasing, with no real end in sight.

[buffalorepublic]

I’m mad about Rise of Skywalker so here’s a way that JJ could’ve done it (this is for me so I can deal with what actually happened, if you don’t like it that’s okay, just don’t pick a fight about it)

The rolling opening is the same, Palpatine’s voice is heard through the galaxy, Kylo Ren doesn’t like the threat to power, blah blah blah

Kylo Ren is on that same planet except when he opens the box it’s a Sith Holocron

Cut to Finn and Poe on the Falcon getting the info about the spy. The info is not that palpatine is back, but that the first order is weak right now because kylo ren is not watching over it but on his little side quest

We switch to Rey, and see her training. She looks through Luke’s old stuff and finds a Jedi holocron that wasn’t there before *ooo mystery*

There are scenes of both Kylo Ren and Rey trying to open the holocrons. They are not very succesful

Cut to Finn and Poe. They are married. They interact the same way as in the movie cause John Boyega and Oscar Isaac are the only ones that care about us. They are planning a big attack on the First Order. One that could wipe them out.

Rey needs to find someone that can help her open the holocron. She decides to go on the trip with Finn and Poe to that one planet with all the first order troops to get info on the first order

They run into Poe’s ex girlfriend spice runner, she’s the one with info on the first order. There’s a cute little scene of Poe introducing her to Finn, his husband.

On the planet, Rey meets an old woman (think Chewie old as fuck) who remembers the days of the Jedi and tells Rey how to open the holocron

Finn and Poe get the info they need but then the first order shows up and they have to leave quickly.

The falcon gets damaged and they have to emergency land on the Endor moon with the ex storm troopers. Finn bonds with them. He is still established as force sensitive in the same way that Leia was in the original triology.

Rey goes a little bit from their camp to try and be one with the force to open up the holocron. We see a mirrored scene of Kylo Ren on his ship with the Vader mask. They both are able to open it.

The Jedi holocron leads to a Jedi temple while the sith holocron leads to a sith temple. This is where Rey and her friends must split up.

Finn and Poe make it back to base with the ex storm troopers, they actually have screen time. Leia is proud of her sons. She decides it time that she stepped down and makes Poe general. We get a cute scene of Poe telling Finn that he can’t do it alone and so they become co generals. Leia does not die.

Cut to Rey in the Jedi temple and Kylo in the Sith temple. We get mirrored scenes of them walking through them. Kylo Ren gets to a room in which we see the old Sith Lords through the force. They tell him he���s not a real Sith. He’s just a little boy that wants to be like grandpa. And he is like grandpa, weak. He sees him kill his dad and they show him Leia when Han was killed. This breaks Kylo Ren. He has a change of heart. Not a redemption, just a change of heart. He leaves the Sith temple and his light saber stays.

Rey is deep in the Jedi temple. We see a Jedi force ghost from the Old Republic. They tell her that she is not a Jedi. A true Jedi hasn’t existed for a while. Luke was not a Jedi, no matter how hard he tried. The Jedi during the republic’s reign were not true Jedi towards the end. They were perverted by war. Rey storms out of the temple, leaving Luke’s (and Anakin’s) lightsaber behind, we see her rage. We see it fade as Luke appears outside the temple. He eases her fears. She can bring back the Jedi. He warns that her friends need her help. She leaves for them

Finn and Poe are leaving for the command ship to try an attack. If they take the command ship down, the rest will follow. It’s because of a big weapon that would connect them together, but they would have to take their shields down to link them, leaving them vunerable. The ex stormtroopers go with them to help.

Rey gets back to base too late. Her friends have left. They don’t know that they are leaving for a trap. Hux, the spy, was identified and interrogated for info. There’s a whole bunch of tie fighters waiting for the rebels.

Before Rey leaves for them, Leia takes her aside and gives her the light saber that leia made. It fits Rey much better than Luke’s did.

Cut to Finn and Poe on the Falcon. They jump out of hyperspace to see the command ship surrounded. They manage to get a distress call out for everyone that could help them take down the first order before they are taken capture inside the command ship. The ship is able to get its shield up.

Cut to Kylo Ren interrogating them. He asks them what their plan was to destroy the first order. He doesn’t know about the weapon as he was gone during its development. He wants to help. Finn and Poe are skeptical as they should be. Kylo senses Rey as she jumps out of hyperspace to see the command ship. He leaves and command the first order officers to let her on board.

Cut to Rey on board the ship. She confronts Kylo. He opens his arms and tells her to end him. He deserves it. She can sense his change. She turns her lightsaber off. He leads her to her friends and they escape. Kylo tries to cause damage to ship while Finn, Poe, Rey and the ex storm troopers hop into the tie fighters and the falcon to launch their attack.

They are getting beat badly by the first order. Kylo Ren is getting beat up by storm troopers. He manages to get the shields down and dies. He is not seen as a hero considering all the bad he’s done. This is not a redemption.

All the sudden, hundreds of ships pop up. They are led by Lando, who heard the call and broadcasted it further. There is a big space battle resulting in the first order ship being destroyed. We see mini rebellions everywhere, and the first order ships falling out of the sky.

Cut to the rebel base. They are celebrating. Finn and Poe kiss. We love husbands. Rey talks to Leia about Kylo Ren. Leia says he wasn’t a hero but he tried his best towards the end. We see a female rebel pilot flirt with Rey. She flirts back. Rey asks Finn and Poe what they’re going to do now. They say that the first order troops are still out there and they plan to go eradicate all of them, or turn them to the light. They ask Rey what she plans to do. She looks at the female rebel pilot she flirted with and then back at them. She smiles.

Cut to Rey, on an unnamed planet. She is teaching younglings the way of the force. She is teaching them to be Jedi. The female rebel pilot is there watching them with a smile on her face. The end.