#reworking my AU ONCE THE FUCK AGAIN-

[freakingpeepseverywhere]

Takin a break from lore because my brains in sPAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

[wongyuseokie]

Drift Away | k.m.g

Summary: You made the biggest mistake of your life, and now, Mingyu is trying his hardest to forget and forgive you, but how long till your infidelity rips you both apart? Besides, it’s not like you’d blame him. You hurt him. You did the one thing you promised never to do.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕ smut |  ♥ completed works

Word Count: 9321 words

Pairings: Kim Mingyu x Female Reader

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Fluff, Smut & Angst, Idol! AU, but like it’s not that important. It just sets the tone, I guess? Like why he stays in a dorm, etc.

Content Warnings: Cheating AU! slut shaming, blaming, crying, fighting. Soonyoung is kind of a dick, but it’s truly very warranted. Chan makes lame jokes, and it’s adorable. Cheol is the best human ever. Insecurities about wealth and fame gap between the reader and Gyu. Mingyu is honestly the bestest boy ever, and the reader makes a terrible choice, but let’s see.

Smut Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, pussy slapping (like once). Is Mingyu growling a warning? Creampie. I think that’s it.

Authors Note: This fic involves infidelity, I don’t condone it, but I’m aware it’s different for everyone, just know that this is a work of fiction, and you should never feel like you should accept anything, but the best for you 🥺 High key broke my own heart writing this.

Authors Note 2: Thank you so much to @spacequokka​ for beta'ing this angsty mess for me. I love you dearly for this! 💕 also, thank you so much to my fellow emotional mess baby @the-boy-meets-evil​ for helping me edit. Finally, a big thank you to my lovely SVTHub friends for reading this over thank you lovelies, @multi-kpop-fanfics​, @bitchlessdino​ and thank you @onlymingyus​ for the title 💕

Authors Note 3: Also if you’ve seen this fic before, it’s because it was something I’d published once for a different group, but I wanted to revisit and rework it 🩷

Cross Posted to AO3

© wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“So, I thought we could go on a road trip, just you and I. I know things haven’t been great, but I thought this could help us reconnect,” you suggested to Mingyu during dinner, and you could see him roll his eyes at you.

“I’m trying to make an effort here,” you mumbled, making Mingyu glare at you.

“Because that’ll make everything you did okay?” Mingyu asked, and you looked down in shame.

“Gyu, it was a mistake,” you defended weakly, sliding your hand over to hold his, making him flinch and move his hand away from you.

“You fucked someone else. I asked you if I was enough, and I wasn’t, so you left to find someone else,” Mingyu snarled, and you sighed.

“You were always gone for months on end–” you started to say, and Mingyu glared at you.

“Do not give me that shit, don’t you fucking dare. Do you realise I could have done the same thing? I know it’s not ideal to have me as your boyfriend, but I could have cheated on you, but I didn’t because I love you,” Mingyu’s voice cracked at the word love.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised.

“‘Sorry’ won’t change any of it,” Mingyu muttered.

“Then why are you still here?” You asked. There was no anger in your voice, just genuine and pure confusion. “Why stay?”

“Because…” Mingyu started to say, pausing to wipe a tear off his face. 

“Because I still fucking love you, like a moron. I want to believe that we can move past this,” Mingyu admitted.

Your heart broke at the sight, and you got up from your seat, walked over to Mingyu and motioned to his lap, and Mingyu nodded slowly. You slid into his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’ll do anything. I promise I won’t hurt you again,” you promised, and Mingyu simply stared at you as you held his face in your hands.

“Y/N,” Mingyu stopped you as you moved to kiss him.

“I can’t, not yet, at least,” Mingyu admitted, and you nodded quickly, sliding off his lap.

“Look, I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ve lost my appetite.” Mingyu said, sliding out of his seat and heading upstairs. You felt tears run down your face, and you hated that you were the one crying when you did this.

You wiped your tears away, cleaned up the table, and headed to the bedroom, smiling softly when you noticed Mingyu sitting on the bed, running a towel through his freshly washed hair.

“Can I help you?” Mingyu asked, snapping you out of your daydream.

“Uh, I can take the couch,” you mumbled. “No. You can take the guest room, not the fucking couch. You don’t need to punish yourself. It won’t give me any comfort,” Mingyu spat, “and,” he added, voice softer. “I said we shouldn’t sleep separately because we will get comfortable like that, and then this will be over,” Mingyu added.

“I’m giving you space,” you mumbled. It made Mingyu sigh, drop the towel on the bed and walk over to you.

“You had space when I went on tour, and you fucked someone else, so no. I don’t think space is what we need,” Mingyu explained, and you looked down, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you said dumbly, knowing that you already had hurt him, which made  Mingyu glare at you.

“You broke me. There’s nothing else left to break. However, for some ridiculous reason, I still fucking love you, and I’m trying not to get mad because, despite the fact you slept with someone else, I still want you in my life,” Mingyu said, gritting his teeth.

You stayed still, unsure what to say, unable to look him in the eyes. Mingyu just huffed out in annoyance at your silence.  

“I’m going to bed. You do what you want. That’s what you seem to be good at anyway,” Mingyu scoffed as he moved away from you and moved to lie down on the bed and sleep.

You hopped into the shower once Mingyu started snoring softly, and you prayed that the running water would drown out your sobs. You had done the worst thing possible to the kindest person ever and had the nerve to cry.

You finished quickly and found Mingyu’s shirt hanging on the door and, out of habit, slipped it on once you dried yourself.

Once you exited the shower, you found your spot on the bed next to him, and out of habit again, Mingyu sleepily wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

You heard his soft snores and allowed yourself to fall asleep in his embrace, and just for a minute, imagine that your relationship was fine. Even then, peace was elusive as your mind replayed the day you told Mingyu that you cheated and how broken and devastated he looked.

“Mingyu, sit,” you said, your voice low and emotionless. Mingyu looked concerned but did as you asked and sat down next to you.

“Wait, are you breaking up with me the day after I got back from tour? Because ouch,” Mingyu joked, and you shook your head.

“No, but you might.”

Mingyu’s smile vanished when he noticed the lack of humour in your voice.

“What happened? Are you pregnant? Because if so, we can deal with it,” Mingyu offered, and you simply shook your head, your heart aching at how kind and considerate he was.

“You weren’t here for so long. It was the night after we got into a fight, and it was so fucking stupid–”

Mingyu felt his world fall apart as the words left your mouth. “You didn’t because you said you love me,” Mingyu interrupted, refusing to believe a word, and you looked up at him, eyes red and puffy.

“Was it once?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“It was so fucking stupid,” you choked out, and Mingyu pressed his lips together.

“You know, of all the people in the world, I didn’t think you’d be the one to make me feel like this,” Mingyu choked out, his voice cracking. You tried to reach out and touch his hand, and Mingyu flinched.

“Don’t you fucking dare! When and where?” Mingyu yelled, and you shrank.

“Does it matter?” You asked, and Mingyu glared at you.

“It fucking matters,” he snapped. You nodded.

“His place. I left after it happened. I just felt so guilty,” you explained, your voice cracked with each word. Mingyu nodded.

“Well, you should. I’m glad you had the decency not to defile our bed,” Mingyu spat as he grabbed his bag, stood up, and took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I thought tonight I could make up for all the time I spend away from you. I would have held, touched, and kissed you all night. I would have spent all the time I had making it right, but you decided I wasn’t worth the wait,” Mingyu admitted with a broken sob, a sad smile gracing his handsome face.

“I was lonely,” you admitted weakly, needing to defend yourself. Mingyu scoffed at you.

“You don’t think I get lonely? I fucking do, but I didn’t once cheat because I love you and respect you. Sadly, you can’t say the same,” Mingyu stated.

“Mingyu, I love you. It was a mistake, a stupid fucking mistake. Please, just one more chance. I need you to know how sorry I am,” you begged, and Mingyu sighed.

“I need space from you. For now, I need to let my anger pass because right now, I can’t bear the sight of you,” Mingyu said, and you just stared at him.

Mingyu sighed deeply and pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you cried, and Mingyu placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I will reach out. Just give me some time,” Mingyu promised, a tight smile on his handsome face. You nodded as you watched him walk out the door, and you fell to the ground sobbing.

“Y/N, wake up,” Mingyu said, shaking you awake.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mingyu asked as he switched on the light and noticed your tear-stained face. You couldn’t bear to look at him, not when he was still concerned about your well-being, not when you had broken his heart.

“Mingyu, I’m so fucking sorry,” you wailed.

“I know.”

You whimpered as the sobs wouldn’t stop. “I just need time,” Mingyu said, and you nodded.  

“Why did you stay? Why didn’t you leave me?” you asked, and Mingyu shrugged.

“It takes a lot more effort to stay and make a relationship work than just to get up and leave. Unless that’s why you cheated? Did you want an out?” Mingyu explained, and you shook your head at his question.

“No. I just wanted to feel less lonely,” you explained weakly, and Mingyu sighed.

“I know I still love you. I just can’t trust you yet. I need time to heal,” Mingyu admitted.

“Mingyu?” You said softly, and Mingyu smiled softly back at you, wiped your tears away, and gently placed his lips on yours. It was the first time he had kissed you since the night you told him.

“Give me time,” Mingyu repeated, and you nodded as Mingyu turned off the light and laid back down, and you laid down next to him, feeling him pull you in again. Tighter against him this time, you felt yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

You woke up the following day, found Mingyu fast asleep, and smiled when you saw how handsome and calm he looked. You got out of bed and made your way into the shower and then to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you heard Mingyu as you felt his arms wrap around your waist, his lips gently meeting your neck, making you sigh as you melted against his touch.

“Shit, sorry,” Mingyu cursed, pulling away from you.

“Habit, I guess,” Mingyu mumbled, making you pout, not letting his actions affect you too much.

He had every right to be upset.

“So, um. What are you up to today?” you asked as you handed Mingyu a cup of tea.

“I think Seungcheol hyung is coming by to hand me a present of some sort,” Mingyu replied.

Mingyu bit his lip. He wanted to warn you and tell you that the boys deeply resented you for what you did. At the same time, he wanted to see you feel as horrible as he did, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Oh! I’ll get that,” you offered when you heard a knock on the front door, and Mingyu hesitated, hoping to stop you, but he nodded.

You couldn’t hide from the boys; they had been waiting to chew you out since the day they found out. However, Mingyu was glad it was Seungcheol who was headed over. He could trust his hyung to be diplomatic. He could not expect that of Soonyoung or Chan.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol greeted you. The eyes that once held fondness and love for you were now filled with rage and anger.

“Mingyu, good to see you,” Seungcheol said as he embraced him. You wanted to leave the room, unable to hide your shame.

“Y/N, we don’t usually ever get involved in one another’s business, especially not relationships. However, the way Mingyu cried after what you did, you need to understand that none of us are your biggest fans right now,” Seungcheol spoke, and you could only look at the floor, unable to make eye contact out of embarrassment.

Seungcheol wasn’t one to get involved in his members’ love lives, but he knew Mingyu would sugarcoat everything for you, and he wasn’t going to let you think that the rest of Mingyu’s members were okay with you.

“If Mingyu chooses to forgive you, that’s his right and choice. We’ll support him, but I can speak on behalf of the other members. None of us are keen on you right now,” Seungcheol continued to elaborate.

Seungcheol’s words broke your heart; out of all the members, you had grown very close to him and Soonyoung. You knew Soonyoung would probably kill you if he saw you, but Seungcheol could be reasonable.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Not the one you need to apologise to,” Seungcheol bit back, and Mingyu knew he had to say something now.

God knows you apologised enough times.

“Hyung, um, what did you get me?” Mingyu asked in an attempt to dissipate the tension. Seungcheol smiled as he faced Mingyu.

“I got you a birthday present,” Seungcheol replied, and Mingyu laughed.

“Seven months in advance?” Mingyu asked.

Seungcheol shrugged. “I forget birthdays, except mine, so yeah, it’s an all-expense paid weekend at a fancy hotel, you know, wine, room service, the whole nine yards.” Seungcheol took a breath.

“I got it before all this happened. It was something for you two,” Seungcheol added, his words piercing your heart again.

“Hyung, we can still use it. If not, I can just use it myself, starfish on the bed,” Mingyu interjected, which made Seungcheol smile.

“Anyways. That’s all I came for. I’ll see you in the evening,” Seungcheol said, and Mingyu nodded and saw Seungcheol out.

“Hyung, she’s trying,” Mingyu pleaded once he was outside his front door as he tried to reason with Seungcheol, who simply sighed.

“I don’t doubt it, but she cheated on you,” Seungcheol said.

“She won’t do it again,” Mingyu asserted.

“I hope she doesn’t,” Seungcheol added, smiling sadly at Mingyu, who smiled back.

“Hyung, I love her, and if I can’t make this work, then I’ll leave, but right now, I want to have faith,” Mingyu spoke genuinely, meaning every word.

“Fair enough. Look, just try and keep her away from the studios and dorms for now. I can keep my cool, and so can the others, but Soonyoung will definitely tear her a new one,” Seungcheol warned.

“Yeah. I will. Thank you for the present again,” Mingyu thanked Seungcheol.

“Take care, Gyu.”

“Um, I have rehearsals. I won’t be home until eight. Do you think you’ll be okay?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I have a few meetings, and I have some work to do. Did you want to have dinner?” you asked, and Mingyu nodded slowly.

“I can give you a heads up if I am back in time?” Mingyu suggested, and you nodded, smiling sadly at him.

“They’ll come around, you know?” Mingyu added.

“It’s okay if they don’t. I mean, I wouldn’t blame them, ” you responded.

“They will. I mean. I’m trying,” Mingyu explained.

“Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“How long will you keep trying for? I’m not asking you to dismiss the fact that you are already doing something that most people wouldn’t consider doing. I want to know because I don’t want to keep holding you down from finding the one.”

“You were the one at one point for me,” Mingyu started, and you felt your throat tighten with emotion.

“Maybe you still are. But to answer your question, I guess I will try until I no longer imagine you underneath another man. Last night when I kissed you, I felt like I was being burned. It hurts to physically love you right now, so if it comes to a point where one day I know I can’t look at you and not hate what you did, then yeah, we can move on,” Mingyu admitted.

“And if we can’t?” you asked, your voice small.

“Then we’re done,” Mingyu said, his tone calm and final.

“I need to go; I’ll message you if I am late,” Mingyu said, and you nodded at him.

“You’re late,” your boss remarked as you walked in, well, ran into the office.

“Sorry,” you said breathlessly. Your boss simply shrugged at you.

“Can I see you? In my office?” He asked before heading back to his office.

You nodded, followed your boss to his office, and waited for him to close the door behind you.

“Please don’t fire me. I can do better,” you begged, your voice cracking.

Your boss shook his head.

“Not here to fire you, but I’m worried,” he explained, and you nodded.

“Relationship problems?” Your boss suggested, and you nodded.

“Do you need to talk to anyone?” Your boss asked kindly, and you shook your head. “It’s my doing,” you explained, and your boss nodded, not pushing it any further.

“Well. I need you to manage this client. You have a natural knack for charming the shit out of fancy clients, so do it well, and we can secure a retainer, and you can secure a wonderful bonus,” your boss explained, and you smiled at him.

“Anything else?” you asked, and your boss shook his head, smiling.

“Thank you so much once again for the meeting. I know it’s late, but we appreciate the effort,” your clients thanked you at the end of the meeting, and you nodded, thanking your million-dollar clients.

You left once they left the conference room and fished out your phone.

“Fuck,” you cursed when you saw it was nine, and you had ten missed calls from Mingyu and several messages. You grabbed your things and tried to drive home as quickly and safely as possible.

“Mingyu, I’m so sorry. I got caught up in work,” you explained hurriedly the second you walked into the apartment, and Mingyu simply hummed.

“I got hungry. I ate without you,” Mingyu deadpanned.

“Y/N?” Mingyu asked, and you turned around to see Mingyu glaring at you.

“Yes?”  

“Where were you?” Mingyu asked as he walked closer to you.

“I was at work. I have a new client, and they wanted to go over so many things,” you explained.

“You sure? Or were you with someone?” Mingyu taunted, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, no, I would never,” you said, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You have,” he bit back.

“Not again,” you said firmly. Mingyu sighed.

“You know, the entire time I was waiting for you. I couldn’t help but think about it. I was wondering if you found someone else. If you were ignoring my phone calls because someone else was making you feel so good that you forgot about me,” Mingyu said.

“I love you, and I know my actions have not matched that, but I would never do what I did again. Ever,” you explained again, and Mingyu sighed.

“I guess I just have to believe you, right?” Mingyu asked with a dark chuckle.

“If you want to go or leave me, then you can,” you offered, and Mingyu shook his head.

“I need to be able to trust you again,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I was at work. I didn’t meet up with anyone,” you repeated.  

“As I said, I don’t have a choice but to believe you,” Mingyu mumbled, and you frowned.

“Look, how about you join me? We can watch Netflix, and you can eat your dinner. I’ll join you for ice cream?” Mingyu suggested, and you smiled, nodding at him.

You rushed up the stairs to take a shower and change into his shirt quickly. You often forgot they weren’t your clothes; you were so used to wearing them.

Once you were done with your shower, you headed downstairs, grabbed your food, and sat on the couch three spots away from Mingyu, making him smile.

“I won’t bite.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Mingyu nodded.

“Just sit next to me.” You smiled and scooted over next to him.

“So, these new clients, what do they do?” Mingyu asked, making you glare at him.

“Are you interrogating me?” You asked, and Mingyu sighed.

“No. I’m asking you because I’m your boyfriend. I want to know about your day. However, your reaction makes me wonder why you’re so defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you pouted, placing your food on the coffee table in front of you and turning to face him.

“I’m so sorry. I  broke your trust and your heart. I won’t do it again,” you apologised.

“Shouldn’t have ever happened,” Mingyu mumbled, and you stayed quiet, knowing you shouldn’t defend yourself.

“Y/N? Why? I know you said you were lonely, but why?” Mingyu asked.

You took a deep breath as you looked up at him, his eyes watery, and you hated that you were the cause of it.

“You remember when you were on tour, we got into this huge fight because you missed three FaceTime calls with me, and you fell asleep on the one you did remember,” you cringed as you recalled the incident.

Nothing you were going to say would make anything that you did okay.

“Right, yes, so you cheated on me because I was inattentive?” Mingyu asked, not a hint of anger in his words, just pure confusion.

“I mean, after that call, we got into a huge fight, and we didn’t even speak for another two days, and I just felt neglected,” you added.

“So one night, when I saw you giggling on a live later, I got annoyed, went to a bar after work, and well, yeah, you know the rest,” you trailed off.

“Do I know him?” Mingyu asked.

“No, I don’t even know him,” you mumbled.

“So you threw it all away for a perfect stranger?” Mingyu asked.

“Tell me. What did he do to you? What did you do to him?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to hurt you,” you tried to protest, making Mingyu scoff.

“You already have. Tell me,” Mingyu repeated, and you took a deep breath before responding.

“He went down on me, and he then fucked me,” you said quickly, like you were ripping off a band-aid.

“You didn’t go down on him?” He asked.

“No,” you said, your voice small, and Mingyu nodded.

“Did you at least use a condom?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Did you feel good? Just for that moment? Did you get what you wanted?” Mingyu asked.

“I guess I got the attention I wanted. However, no. I didn’t feel good about it; I hated myself for it,” you admitted.

“Look. I told you I want to work on us and move on from what happened, so I appreciate your honesty. However, you need to understand why I might be suspicious,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I need liquor, wine?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled, nodding at him. Mingyu smiled at you as he got off the couch, headed into the kitchen, and returned a couple of minutes later with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

“Here you go,” Mingyu said as he handed you a glass and sat down on the couch, this time sitting closer to you.  

“So Seungcheol hyung, he’s throwing a dinner thing next week,” Mingyu explained.

“I can make myself scarce,” you interrupted, and Mingyu smiled softly at you, shaking his head.

“No, he wants you there,” Mingyu said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Why?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice, and Mingyu smiled softly at you,

“Because I want you there,” Mingyu responded, and you downed your glass of wine in response to his comment and placed the glass down before speaking.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to impose. Not in a room full of people who hate me,” you said, hating how weak you sounded when this was all your doing. Mingyu smiled softly at you before taking a sip of his drink.

“No one–okay, aside from Soonyoung–no one hates you,” Mingyu admitted.

“I know I have no right to be upset, not when I did this, but I feel so fucking stupid. I feel stupid for having the audacity to be upset when this is my doing,” you confessed, feeling pathetic for being upset. However, Mingyu smiled softly at you.

“Look. You have a week to decide if you don’t want to go. I won’t force you. However, it would be nice,” Mingyu offered.

“I’ll be there,” you said, your voice still soft, and Mingyu smiled at you.

“Good. Another glass?” Mingyu asked, motioning to your empty glass.

“Yes, please.”

You and Mingyu didn’t speak much, choosing to watch a Netflix series and just be near one another, trying and be normal.

“Mingyu?” You called out his name halfway through an episode, and Mingyu turned to smile at you,

“Yeah?” He responded, eyes still on the screen.

You hesitated for a second, “Can I, um. Never mind,” you mumbled, swallowed  your words, and Mingyu groaned, pausing the show.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“Can I get a bit of the blanket? I’m cold,” you asked, rubbing your palms together as if to prove a point, and Mingyu grinned, lifting the blanket off him and holding it up.

“Come on. You’ll freeze,” Mingyu said, motioning for you to join him under the blanket, and you froze in a different way.

“Y/N, I’m trying here, but you need to meet me halfway. I can grab another blanket for you, but I’d like to share one with my girlfriend,” Mingyu stated, making your heart swell as you nodded and crawled into and curled into his side.

“The new client, they’re designers, they deal with luxury goods, and they need someone to guide them through our consulting process and how we can be an asset to them,” you mumbled, and Mingyu smiled at you, happy to have a normal conversation with you.

“So, fancy rich people?” Mingyu joked, and you nodded.

“I’m aiming to secure a retainer agreement with them,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded,

“Well, make sure you rest in between, okay? Because you always overextend yourself, and I don’t want you burning out,” Mingyu spoke softly, and you smiled fondly at him.

“I won’t,” you promised, and Mingyu smiled, holding out his pinkie to you, “promise?” He asked, and you laughed and laced your finger with his.

“I promise,” you said, and Mingyu smiled, letting go of your hand, and pulled you closer to his side.

“Okay, now can we find out what happens in this episode?” Mingyu asked, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Gyu, it’s Suits. Harvey Specter will do something that is not viable in reality and save the day,” you explained. The lawyer in you just could not refrain from describing how wrong Suits was.

“You called me Gyu,” Mingyu mumbled.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you apologised, and Mingyu paused the episode and turned to face you, his legs around you as you sat in the space between his legs.

“You know, all of the restraining, the formalities. I get why you’ve held back, but it’s been two months. I’m not mad at you for calling me Gyu. It made me happy. You’ve imposed all these restrictions on yourself, none of which I asked you to do. I’m not blaming or scolding you. I’m simply saying that I want you to be yourself—the funny, unfiltered, loving and frankly unrestrained woman that I fell in love with. I know you’ll say that you hurt me being that, but I just don’t want to dwell anymore,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Gyu,” you repeated, and Mingyu smiled at you before frowning when he realised you were crying.

“Hey now, why are you crying,” Mingyu asked.

“You’re so fucking, patient. You’re so kind for what I did, and I hate that I’m the one falling apart,” you admitted, and Mingyu smiled at you, wiping a tear off your face.

“In some sick way, I appreciate it because I know you regret what you did. It’d be worse if you acted so normal. If you showed no remorse, then I’d be like fuck. I’m on my way, I guess.” Mingyu confessed, wiping your tears.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I know. You’ve said it enough times. So I know you’re sorry, but as I said, I need time, but I don’t want to act or walk around eggshells with you because then one day that will end up blowing up in our faces,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I don’t deserve you,” you mumbled, and Mingyu sighed and pulled you closer to him.

“You don’t, but I love you. So let me decide if I can do this?” Mingyu said, and you nodded, smiling softly as Mingyu wiped another tear off your face.

“Now, can I watch Harvey Specter save the day?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled at him as he pressed play.

Mingyu adjusted himself so you were lying on his chest as you watched the episode. Mingyu shifted slightly, making his leg brush against your underwear, making you bite your lip, an action that did not go unnoticed by Mingyu.

“What?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Nothing,” you mumbled before fixing your eyes back on the screen.

Mingyu smirked, shifting his leg again, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that fell from your lips.

“You liked that?” Mingyu teased, and you sighed, nodding, making him smirk as you both continued to watch Suits.

However, he adjusted himself, and you were sitting between his legs, his large hands tracing small circles on your thigh.

Mingyu suddenly paused the show and asked you to turn around. You did as he asked, and he pulled you into his lap.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You smiled as you touched his lips, groaning immediately when you tasted him for the first time in months. You were kissing him, not just a peck, but a kiss.

You felt him run his tongue along your bottom lip, and he slipped his tongue inside you. You moaned into his mouth and kept kissing him until he slowly pulled away from you.

You were about to apologise in case you went too far, but Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss. You moaned into the kiss as his bulge pressed into your cloth-covered cunt. Mingyu moved quickly and pulled his cock out.

“I need to feel you,” Mingyu muttered against your lips, and you moaned and nodded. Mingyu moved your panties to the side, ran his cock against your folds and pushed into you.

“Fuck,” you choked out, your hands gripping his hair for support.

“You’re so fucking tight. So fucking tight,” Mingyu groaned as he let his cock stretch you open. You moaned as Mingyu guided his cock in and out of you.

He laid back and let you fall on his chest before he picked his pace, thrusting into you relentlessly. The lack of sex between the two of you meant that you both came quickly. You simply continued to kiss him, scared to speak as if it’d ruin the moment.

You rested your head against Mingyu’s chest as you felt him soften inside you, his warmth coating your walls.

“Mingyu?” you asked softly, noticing that your boyfriend’s expression didn’t match yours.

“Did you kiss that guy?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed, climbing off his lap.

“Mingyu, don’t,” you begged, making him scoff at you.

“I did. I’m so sorry,” you apologised, and Mingyu sighed, standing up and pulling his trousers up.

“This was way too quick. I know I initiated it, so I’m not mad at you, but right now, I can’t look at you,” Mingyu admitted, taking a deep breath before delivering the words that made you despise yourself further.

“The entire time I was inside you, all I could think about was the fact that you probably moaned the same way for that other guy. Looking just as fucked out, and that’s not an image I can get over so easily,” Mingyu continued.  

“I’m going to bed,” Mingyu said, not sparing you a glance and heading upstairs.

You decided to stay downstairs the entire night. It would do neither of you any good to be near one another now. You felt terrible. You should have stopped him, but you missed his touch.

You hated how you had become a slave to your instincts.

“Hey. Oh, you’re leaving?” Mingyu asked as he saw you sliding your heels on the following day.

“Yeah. Fancy clients, they call, I answer,” you replied.

“Like that guy in the bar? He snapped, and your face fell.

“Mingyu, I can do this with you after work. You can yell, scream and insult me as much as you need. Just not before work.” Mingyu’s glare intensified.

“Do you think I do it because I enjoy hurting you?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, I need to go,” you said, reaching for the doorknob, and Mingyu scoffed at you.

“Do you have anything you want to say?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed at him.

“I do. But I do not have the time for it now,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded.

“Just think about this as you go to work. Why do you have time for everyone except for me?” Mingyu said before storming upstairs.

“Y/N, well done. The clients are impressed with you, and I think we are getting closer to signing them,” Your boss praised after the meeting.

“Thanks,” you said with no real emotion, and your boss eyed you.

“Okay, what the hell? You should be happy?” your boss asked.

“My personal life is falling apart,” you admitted.

“Well, look. It’s already three. Why don’t you head home? You killed it today so that you can take the afternoon off,” your boss offered, and you thanked him profusely.

“Mingyu, I’m home. Oh,�� you called out the second you entered the apartment and froze when you saw some of Mingyu’s members sitting in your living room. You got mixed reactions from all of them.

Seungcheol offered you a weak smile, Wonwoo nodded, Jun blinked a couple of times, and Jihoon looked your way to acknowledge your presence. You were thankful that the older members were discreet.

The same could not be said for the younger members.

“What are you doing here?” Chan asked, earning him a slight nudge from Jun for being disrespectful to someone older than him.

“I live here,” you muttered, and that was all it took for Soonyoung to snap.

“Right, because it’s your house, right?” Soonyoung fired back, knowing well that the building was in Mingyu’s name and not yours.

“I, um,” you stuttered, unsure of how to handle Soonyoung’s words.

“Y/N, why don’t you go to the bedroom? I’ll be done soon?” Mingyu interjected he couldn’t handle another fight with you, and he didn’t fancy seeing Soonyoung rip you to shreds, either. You gave Mingyu a forced smile and headed to his bedroom.

“Hey,” Mingyu said as he sat next to you on the bed.

“They’re uh gone. It’s safe for you to come out,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Does it bother you?” You asked.

“What bothers me?”

“The wealth gap between us,” you elaborated.

“You’re acting like you’re impoverished,” Mingyu scoffed, and he wasn’t wrong. You could live a very comfortable life without Mingyu’s wealth, but sometimes seeds of insecurity would get planted in your mind, and you’d wonder if you were enough.

“You know, if you dated an idol, she’d make as much money as you,” you said bitterly.

“I don’t say this to be a dick, but no. She wouldn’t. Frankly, what we make is very high. I’m grateful, but unless I’m dating another multimillionaire, then I’d still be earning more in a relationship,” Mingyu explained.

“She’d understand your life,” you offered, and Mingyu frowned.

“She’d understand that there would be lonely nights, weeks and months. She would get it, and she wouldn’t go looking for more when she had enough,” you admitted, feeling ashamed, feeling your voice crack.

“Is that why?” Mingyu asked.

“Why what?”

“Why you cheated,” Mingyu clarified.

“Oh god no, Mingyu, I wish I had a reason why, I don’t. It was dumb, it was stupid, and it’s something I’ll hate myself for doing to you. Nothing I did that night can justify why I did what I did. There’s nothing except a dumb fucking decision,” you rambled, not realising that you were crying until you realised that Mingyu inched closer to you, holding your face in his hands and wiping your tears.

“Don’t hate yourself. I don’t,” Mingyu said quietly.

“Why not?”

“I hate what you did, but to hate you? Fuck, that’s something I don’t think I can do,” Mingyu admitted.

“Soonyoung hyung was way out of line,” Mingyu added, understanding what your spiral was about, and you shook your head and gently moved his hands away from your face.

“No. He wasn’t. He’s protecting you,” you countered, and Mingyu shrugged, not wanting to argue with you.

“It wasn’t just Soonyoung hyung. I was out of line, too. I said some shitty things to you this morning and last night. Having sex with you again, trust me, for the most part, it was good, but the minute you started to moan and get close to cumming. I couldn’t help but think of you doing the same thing for another man,” Mingyu confessed.

“But I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I should have stopped Soonyoung hyung today,” Mingyu mumbled as you stayed quiet.

“Say something, please?” Mingyu asked.

“You had every right to act the way you did, and Soonyoung wasn’t wrong in expressing his anger,” you said calmly, and Mingyu pouted at you.

“Okay, let’s change the topic. Why did you come back early?” Mingyu asked.

“The meeting went well, and I guess my boss saw me miserable, so he let me come back early,” you admitted with a soft smile.

“Lovely, then I’m ordering food, and we can spend the day together,” Mingyu said, clapping his hands, and you traced circles on his hand.

“Gyu?” You said, making him smile.

“Yes?” He asked. You held out your arms to him, and he smiled, pulling you into his lap for a hug. You held on tightly. It was so fragile, and you were so scared to let go. You pulled away slowly, your lips inches away from his.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his lips ghosting yours. You smiled and placed your lips on his. The kiss escalated quickly, as it always did. From being in Mingyu’s lap, you were now lying under him as he kept kissing you. His tongue was deepening the kiss. His hand moved up your body until it landed on the button of your trousers.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, and that’s all Mingyu needed.

Mingyu undid the button and pushed his hand down your trousers and past your panties. His fingers found your clit, and he started to rub. You moaned into the kiss. Whimpers and pants were leaving your lips as he rubbed your clit.

When he suddenly stopped, you were so scared that the events of last night would occur again. Instead, Mingyu moved away from the kiss, pulled your trousers and panties off, and laid between your legs.

Mingyu moved to let his mouth wrap around your clit, making you buck into his mouth. You wanted to scream his name but were so scared that you’d break this moment if you spoke. Not just for the sake of an incredible orgasm but because you felt as if things between you two could finally be okay.

A sharp slap to your clit took you out of your thoughts.

“Why aren’t you making any noise? Have I lost my touch?” Mingyu growled, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s just, fuck,” you could barely finish your sentence as Mingyu pushed three fingers into you.

You winced slightly at the stretch, slowly letting out a moan as his lips found your clit again. Mingyu licked and flicked your clit while thrusting his fingers in and out of you.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” you choked out as you grabbed the sheets. You came and felt Mingyu lick you more. His hands held your shaking legs in place as he licked you through your orgasm.

“Good?” Mingyu asked, moving up your body, capturing your lips with his.

“Yes,” you moaned into the kiss as Mingyu smiled into the kiss.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, knowing what he wanted, as he pulled his shirt off and threw his shorts across the room as he lined his thick length against your cunt and pushed in.

“Fuck,” Mingyu groaned as he started to thrust into you.

“Baby, you’re so tight, and it’s been so long. I won’t last,” Mingyu groaned as he played with your clit.

“Cum, Mingyu,” you encouraged as Mingyu started to pound into you harder, making you squeal in pleasure as you came around him. Mingyu groaned as his orgasm followed soon after yours.

Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss before moving his lips away and pulling out of you.

“No, don’t just stay with me,” Mingyu said, pulling you back into his arms.

“Gyu?” He hummed.

“I love you,” you said, and Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead. It stung when he didn’t say it back, but you couldn’t take it.

You’d do anything to make it right.

“Do I look okay?” You asked later that week as you stepped out of the bathroom wearing a simple black dress. Mingyu smiled at you.

“They’ll love you no matter what,” Mingyu offered casually, and you froze.

“I mean. Uh,” Mingyu fumbled, and you gave him a small smile at walked over to him.

“I know.” Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You look lovely, and you know I’ll always think that, but please don’t go in expecting too much tonight,” Mingyu offered.

“I know,” you said with a sad smile, and Mingyu pouted slightly. He almost hated that he felt terrible for you, especially since you brought this upon yourself.

“Let’s go?” Mingyu asked.

The entire car ride to the dorm was quiet. You were both too nervous.

“Hey, look, they might be vicious. It’s just that they care for me, so they’ll get defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll be brave,” you said, grinning.

Mingyu nodded at your comment. He knew you deserved their anger and resentment, but it didn’t mean that it made it easier for him to hear it. Mingyu hated watching you sink with every insult or backhanded comment that was thrown your way.

Mingyu knocked on the door while you prayed that one of the older members would open the door.

“Y/N, Mingyu, glad you two could make it,” Seungcheol said, smiling at Mingyu and nodding in your direction.

“Come in. There are drinks and appetisers being served now,” Mingyu nodded, guiding you into their dorm.

“Go sit, look Wonwoo hyung won’t bite. I’ll be there in a minute.” You tried to plead with him, but you knew that you had lost any upper hand you may have once had.

“May I sit?” You asked Wonwoo, who simply nodded. You sat down cautiously.

“Can I get you a drink?” Wonwoo asked.

“Careful, hyung. Alcohol is the reason she’s in this predicament,” Soonyoung muttered, and Wonwoo shot him a glare. While Wonwoo was beyond upset with you, he didn’t approve of Soonyoung’s behaviour either.

“Okay, I’m here. What did I miss?” Mingyu asked, sliding next to you.

“Nothing, Gyu,” you mumbled, curling into his side, and Mingyu simply stared at his hyungs, hoping one of them would tell him what transpired.

“Alright, let me get you a drink, gin and tonic, right?” Mingyu asked as he stood up and headed back into the kitchen before you could stop him.

“Alright, here you go,” Mingyu returned, thankfully, quickly as he handed you your drink.

“Oh, Mingyu, are you excited about your project? You’ll be co-writing with Yuri for her solo?” Jun asked in an attempt to ease the tension in the room.

“Actually, yeah. She texted me about the song. I think it’ll be really cool. I’m meeting her at her studio next week,” Mingyu responded, and you loved seeing how lively he looked when he spoke about his work.

“What’s the song about?” You asked, and you saw Mingyu freeze for a second.

“Heartbreak and betrayal,” Mingyu mumbled, and you simply took another sip of your drink.

“I mean, we should really thank you, Y/N. You gave Mingyu such amazing inspiration,” Soonyoung remarked sarcastically, and you cringed.

“Y/N, I left my planner in my room last week. Do you think you could get it?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded quickly, running away from the living room and upstairs to Mingyu’s bedroom, trying your hardest not to break down on your way.

You knew there was no planner, but you were grateful to Mingyu for giving you a reason to leave.

Back in the living room, Mingyu was trying his hardest to reason with Soonyoung.

“Hyung, I’m trying to fix things with her, but it won't work if you keep saying things like that. She’s sorry,” Mingyu pleaded, and Soonyoung scoffed.

“Cheaters don’t change, and to her credit, I can see she’s sorry, but you don’t deserve that, and I don’t know why you’re putting up with it. You could have anyone else, and you're choosing the one who broke your heart.”

“Hey.”

You heard a voice call, turned around to see Chan, and quickly wiped your face.

“Shit, you’re crying,” Chan muttered, closing the door behind him.

“No, uh, just allergies.” Chan laughed.

“Yeah, right,” Chan scoffed, and you sighed.

“Why are you here?” You asked, and Chan shrugged.

“Well, hyung sent me, and Soonyoung hyung is having a talk with Mingyu hyung. So you’ve got me,” Chan explained.  

“Can I ask you something?”

“Why? I mean, did he ever upset you or ignore you? Is there something we don’t know?” Chan asked.

“I was lonely. It’s not an excuse at all. We were fighting so much. I just wanted something to numb the pain.” Chan nodded.

“Alcohol would have been a better solution, literally. It’s a solution,” Chan joked as you let out a tearful chuckle.

“Yay, you smiled,” Chan cheered.

“Don’t you hate me?” You asked, and Chan shook his head.

“No. I’ll always be upset, but hyung isn’t a baby. He doesn’t need me to coddle him or fight for him. I’m not mean, but sometimes I can lash out, and even I can say that Soonyoung hyung took it too far. You’ve always made hyung happy, and if being with you makes him happy and he forgives you, then I think we should all make peace with it.” Chan offered.

“Chan, I need to talk to her,” a voice interrupted as you saw Mingyu enter the room.

“Sure,” Chan said, waving at you as he left the room.

“He forgave you?” Mingyu asked.

“No, but he said if I make you happy, then he’ll make his peace with it,” you explained.

“Fuck, well, this doesn’t make what I’m about to do next any easier,” Mingyu mumbled, and you knew. It was over. He tried and couldn’t, and you didn’t blame him.

“I’ll pack my things by the end of the day tomorrow,”  you said as you tried to get up, and Mingyu held your wrist gently.

“No, you keep that apartment. I want to have a fresh start. Most of my things are here anyway,” Mingyu countered.

“I can’t forgive you,” Mingyu admitted, and you simply nodded, eyes trained on the carpeted floor.

“Mingyu?” You whispered his name, and he looked at you.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I can drive you back,” Mingyu offered, and you shook your head.

“No, I’ll take a cab,” you mumbled. Mingyu nodded and turned around.

“Then leave. I can’t pretend anymore,” Mingyu breathed out, and you could hear how shaky his voice was.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it and left.

“Thank you for everything,” you said tearfully as you practically ran out of his bedroom and out of the dorms.

“Y/N!” Soonyoung ran after you, his hand on your wrist. The rest of the boys were confused for two reasons, one being that you left without Mingyu and the second that Soonyoung was the one that ran after you.

You were standing outside the dorm as Soonyoung held you in place.

“What the hell happened? Where are you going?” He asked.

“Home. Mingyu broke up with me, so I’m going home,” you admitted, and Soonyoung frowned.

“Did my comments do this?” Soonyoung asked, and you shook your head.

“No, we were bound to end. I should go,” you said sadly. Soonyoung sighed.

“I’m sorry it turned out this way,” Soonyoung apologised.

“Goodbye,” you said to Soonyoung.

That night when you got home, you couldn’t cry. You just felt numb. You felt nothing. You felt dead inside.

For the next week, you called off work, thankfully your clients had gone on a holiday and wouldn’t be back for two weeks. You took a week off. It wasn’t a lot, but it would be enough for you to start over.

You did every cliché there was. You went for a facial, went for a spa day. You drank and watched crappy movies with ice cream. Drank until you fell asleep. Every night you went to bed alone and hoped for a text from him.

You just needed to know that he was okay. You knew he felt every emotion deeply, and you didn’t want your stupidity to hurt him anymore.

One night after downing half a bottle of wine, you found it in you to dial his number. You sighed in relief when you realised he hadn’t blocked you.

“Y/N, it’s three in the morning?” Mingyu groaned, and that’s when you broke all the tears that never fell.

They all fell the minute you heard his voice.

“Y/N?” Mingyu said, more awake and concerned about your heavy breathing.

“Are you okay?” You mumbled, your voice breaking with every word.

“Y/N, fuck. Are you at home? Are you okay?” You sighed.

“Yeah. I just, I’m sorry, Mingyu.” Mingyu sighed before hanging up.

“Jesus, fuck,” you yelped when you saw Mingyu sitting in your kitchen the following day. You looked around the house.

“You cleaned up?” You asked, and Mingyu nodded.

“Most people change the locks when their ex moves out,” Mingyu joked, and you frowned.

“The house is under your name,” you said, giving a lame excuse, and Mingyu sighed.

“Am I okay? You called me yesterday to ask me that?” Mingyu asked, and you groaned. “Do you even care? You walked away,” Mingyu continued, raising his voice at you, and you just stared at him.

“You broke up with me,” you said, confused, and Mingyu nodded.

“I fought for us when you cheated, and you didn’t even fucking try,” Mingyu cried out.

“Gyu,” you started to say. Mingyu glared at you.

“Don’t Gyu me, I’m not yours,” Mingyu snapped, and you nodded.

“I saw the way you tried so hard to love me again. It broke you, and I want you to be happy, so I didn’t fight because you deserve better,” you yelled back, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You remember how I told you I’d be working on a song with Yuri?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded slowly, unsure why he randomly brought it up.

“We were in the studio, I think this was two nights after we broke up, and I think right before we wrapped up our session, she kissed me,” Mingyu explained.

“Oh.”

“I kissed her back,” Mingyu clarified.

“Okay.”

“But I couldn’t do it. Her lips, the kiss it all felt foreign to me. It wasn’t what I’m used to, and more importantly. It’s not what I want,” Mingyu added.

“She kissed you?” You repeated, feeling tears threaten to spill over.

“While you’re entitled to your feelings. I really hope you realise that getting mad at me for this will be beyond hypocritical,” Mingyu stated.

“I’m not. Just wow, she fits into your world. Better than I ever could,” you said weakly, and Mingyu scoffed as he stood up, moving closer to you,

“No. You can feel shitty for cheating on me, but I will not ever let you think you don’t belong in this world,” Mingyu said, and you pouted.

“I hurt you,” you choked out, your voice breaking.

“Yeah, and it fucking sucked. It still does, but one week. One week was enough to make me realise I don’t want to be without you. So we’re going to get through this,” Mingyu declared, determined, and you started to sob, and Mingyu took you into his arms, holding you tight.

“We’re going to hit reset. We will go on a first date again, and I will learn to trust you again. Clean slate,” Mingyu said, holding you close.

You nodded. Chances like these rarely come by, so you weren’t going to waste them.

“Oh and also, no more apologising. I’m not trying to rewrite history, but if you keep apologising, I won’t ever get past it. So let’s just start over, okay?” Mingyu explained, and you nodded tearfully.

“Reset?” You asked.

“Reset.”

“We’ll do this the right way,” Mingyu said, and you shook your head.

“No. I will. I’ll love you the way I should have,” you said, making him grin at you as you hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go.

You’d be damned if you lost him again.

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 84 

Oh what a wonderful day! Why? BECAUSE I FINALLY GET TO SAY THE LAST OF MY STUPID ARBITRARY RULES! The Final Arbitrary Rule is: No Crossing Over with Other Franchises! Which I very clearly fuckin’ broke here!

I wanted to do my best to only make pieces working with just the base of Junkan itself, and AU’s I made had to be original and not just “What if Junkan but it’s in X series.” That way when I finished the project a bunch of new doors would open up for me to have fun with! I know last time we had Alice in Wonderland, but given the public domain nature of that story I don’t find it to be an infraction of the rule. There’s a future day coming up that also kiiiind of breaks it? But also i feel like it’s a slightly different case, not sure how to explain it while you can’t see it. None of that matters because today we have a blunt, no fucking around breaking of that rule, and why?

Listen I’ve seen some of ya’ll draw/write Junko and Mikan as Pokemon Trainers while waiting for this day to get posted, surely you understand. I’ve been wanting to draw a pic of these two with full teams for months at this point in the projects making, I couldn’t wait any longer, it was a moment of weakness!!!

Designing the outfits for these two was super fun. Once again I’ve fucking put Mikan in a Sweater, and this time it doubles as a dress! Will I ever be stopped? 

That does generally bring me to the thoughts I’m having in hindsight months after this pic, I think Junko’s side is on the weaker side. I like her fit though I might make small edits to it whenever the next time I draw her is. But the main thing is I think the team I put together is kind of lacking??

Mikan’s? I’m perfectly happy with, Frillish is just there because she vibes aesthetically with Mikan, Blissey is obvious, Lampent because it’s associated with hospitals due to floatin around them to steal life energy, Clefable I can explain in a second but it’s probably obvious, Spinda because she needs a cute buddy to be clumsy with, but my favorite was giving her an Applin.

Like the whole thing with Applin is that giving one to someone as a gift is a declaration of Love. So of course Junko would do that, she’s all about that shit (in my brain at least). I think it’s cute!

Junko’s half of things though, if I’m gonna be real a few months later I’d probably only keep two of them and just try to remake the rest of the team. Gengar (who is also the reason Mikan has a Clefable, I love that old fan theory), because he’s my favorite pokemon and I think he just vibes really well with Junko. And Hydreigon, because Junko deserves a giant nightmare dragon. 

This is another instance of me concocting something for this project and then not being able to draw any more of it because I have to wait for it to be posted. So now, assuming I have time, I can finally draw the Pokemon AU!~ Like I said i’ll probably do some minor reworks, and then some major reworks on Junko’s end. No idea when it’ll be but look forward to it I suppose!~ 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Ties That Bind - Part 9.5: Rewarded

Characters: (AU: first names are as in the show renaming a few last names to fit my story): Reader (Y/N Harvelle), Detective Dean Winchester, Claire Stanford (mentioned)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Smutty smut. 

Word Count: 900ish

A/N: Thanks to @blacktithe7 for betaing and helping me rework this series.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.*** 

MASTERPOST

Dean hadn’t expected the lights to still be on, when he got back to her place that night. The interrogation and booking of Claire’s parents had taken the better part of the afternoon, and the paperwork took most of the evening. Y/N had had a long day too. With the funeral, followed by an evening shift at work, he had surely expected her to be asleep by the time he got to her house. 

Dean walked into the hallway, but had barely gotten through the door before she was in his arms. Almost knocking him on his ass, taking him completely by surprise. She kissed him deeply and passionately as she rubbed her body against his. Instantly making Dean rock hard and aching for her. His hands wandered down her body and cupped her ass, readying to hoist her into the air, but she broke free of him before he could, leaving him out of breath and confused.

“Not tonight, Dean. This is about you.” She spoke slowly in a low seductive tone that went straight to his cock while she worked on his belt and zipper.

“Y/N…” His breath caught in his throat as he reached out for her. Running his hands over her arms, stopping her before she could get on her knees. “You don’t have to do this sweetheart.” He wanted her too. Fuck, did he want her too; to feel her wet, hot mouth wrapped around him, but he also did not want her to feel like she owed him anything. She just smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in a searing kiss that practically made his head spin.

“I want too. Let me?” She ran her hand down his chest, over his stomach to the bugle in his boxers, cupping his rock hard length through the material. His let out a slight hiss at the sudden contact, and he couldn’t help but nod. How could he resist her? How could he ever resist her? She was driving him crazy, and he never wanted her to stop.

She smiled at him and bit her lips as she lowered herself down to her knees in front of him, licking her lips as she pulled his pants, along with his boxers, down to his ankles, letting his cock spring free to stand proud an inch from her face. She looked at him like he was a treat she had denied herself forever and was only now allowed to devour.

Still, she ignored his throbbing erection, kissing and licking his thighs, lightly brushing her cheek against the side of his cock every time she moved, making him more and more desperate.

“Y/N… please.” His hands tangled in her hair. Not pushing nor guiding, just simply needing to feel her. She pulled back a little, looking up at him with those beautiful big Y/E/C eyes of hers.

“Do you want me to touch you, Dean?” She sounded so innocent he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Fuck yes. Do whatever you want to me,” Dean breathed wantonly, hoping what she wanted was to suck him down like he was candy.

His breath hitched as he watched her slowly lick her palm before she wrapped her hand around his shaft. Barely able to close it around him, she started jerking him off. Slowly. Her eyes never leaving his.

His head fell back against the wall, and he let out a needy groan as her tongue gingerly teased the head of his cock.

Her lips felt soft and warm against his skin. Her tongue, hot and wet, teasing him, darting into his slit over and over, making him moan in pleasure as his hand once again found his way to her hair.

He watched her eyes sparkle at him as her tongue traveled up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, making his hips involuntarily buck in anticipation. His breath getting heavier and heavier. How could he be this lucky? She was fucking perfect. And she was right here with him. On her knees. Wanting him every bit as much as he wanted her.  

Then suddenly and without warning she took him into her mouth; all the way down. Her nose pressed against his lower abdomen, and Dean’s hips jerked against her of their own volition making, her choke and swallow around him before slowly pulling back. Her tongue running soft and smooth along the vein of his cock, leaving him wet and glistening with her saliva.

Her teeth gently ran over his tip, making him groan loudly, digging his hand into her hair even deeper.

“Jesus… fuck… Y/N.”

She began bobbing her head up and down, taking him down all the way, humming against him in contentment, twirling her tongue over his slit and driving him wild. He had to use every ounce of self control he possessed to prevent him from not grabbing her head and holding her still as he fucked that flawless mouth of hers.

“Y/N… I’m gonna… I can’t…” Dean tried to warn her, but she didn’t stop. Instead, she increased her pace, sucking him down harder, and Dean exploded into to the wet heat of her mouth. She swallowed every last drop, licking him clean, before she allowed him to pull her back on her feet into a bruising kiss.

He could taste himself on her tongue, and somehow that turned him on even more. Her warm soft body pressed against him prevented him from going entirely soft, and he spun her around, pressing her against the wall, attaching his lips to her neck and sucking down on the spot that never failed to make her arch into him.

“Tonight I am gonna make you scream,” he whispered into her ear, his voice drawing a soft moan from her lips. He knew she believed him, and be damned if he wasn’t going to keep his word.

Dean Tag Team 

@percywinchester27 @slowlywithfreeedom @flamencodiva @deansgirl215 @atc74 @winecatsandpizza @blackcherrywhiskey @feelmyroarrrr @whimsicalrobots @torn-and-frayed @jadewritings @mogaruke @wayward-and-worn @super100012 @blacktithe7 @becs-bunker @docharleythegeekqueen @smoothdogsgirl @ericaprice2008 @danijimenezv @roxyspearing @adoptdontshoppets @supernatural13-13 @onethirstyunicorn @deanmonandnegansbitch @mysupernaturalfics @angreadsficsandauthors @its-not-a-tulpa @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @atwistoffate @adriellej @mrswhozeewhatsis @sillesworldofwriting @sandlee44 @wildfirewinchester @mary-magizoologist @ruprecht0420 @winchesters-favorite-girl @spnfanficpond

[olympeline]

Please somebody spare a crumb of kindness and ask me about my scotfruk omegaverse thoughts. I have so many Feelings about the potential dynamics between these three. They are some of my favourite guys to put in situations together. So I’m reworking one of my old posts with a new a/b/o twist:

Gimme a historical human AU where Alasdair, the alpha king of Scotland, was wed to the French prince Francis Bonnefoy to strengthen their nations’ alliance against the English. Everyone assumed Francis - graceful, pretty child he was - would present omega. He might even have been a borderline case who had a “false heat” or two after he hit puberty. So the two royal families were all: “Jackpot!” and married him to Alasdair as soon as they were both of age. Then, disaster! Turns out they’d jumped the gun in the worst way. Against all odds, Francis presented beta. Meaning there could be no children born of his and Alasdair’s union. Disaster for France, much worse disaster for Scotland, opposite of disaster and cause for much laughter, celebrating, and schadenfreude in England. Many jokes made and toasts drunk to royal couple “Alas, no heir” and Francis “Barrenfoy” in the lands Anglo.

Everyone tells Alasdair to set his “useless” husband aside. Annul their marriage and try again. But Alasdair has come to truly love Francis and he refuses. Their wooing was rough at first (ba-dum-tsh!) but opposites attract and they fell for each other in the end. Just in time for all hope to die that Francis could be an omega. Alasdair wouldn’t throw Francis away, though. Fiery, fiercely loving, stubborn man Alasdair is, even Francis himself couldn’t change his mind. Though Francis’s protests are, admittedly, halfhearted as hell. He’s come to love Alasdair just as much. He doesn’t want to lose him or the new life he’s built for himself in Scotland. The guillt still gnaws away at Francis, though. All kings needs progeny as a matter of urgency. If only he hadn’t presented beta. Then everything would be all right.

Meanwhile the English, once they got over their hangovers, decided to take advantage of their neighbour’s political woes and attack the Scottish borderlands. Their forces lead by one Arthur Bloody Kirkland: beta English prince, ready to kick some tartan on his father’s orders. The English aim to seize the lowlands but, unfortunately for them, Alasdair and Francis aren’t so distracted that they’ve forgetten how to fight. It turns into a Battle of Bannockburn style Scottish victory and not only is the English army sent fleeing, but Arthur himself is captured. Though he at least manages to hide his identity and pretend to be an ordinary knight. Swapping armour with a dead comrade just before capture and letting the jubilant Scots believe they’d killed their enemy’s crown prince. The last thing Arthur wants is to be executed or used as a hostage so England is bankrupted getting him back. They’ve lost enough as is with his humiliating defeat. Arthur is taken back to Alasdair’s castle and made into a gift for Francis. Even after such a big victory, Alasdair can see his husband is still depressed and hopes having a sassenach slave to torment will cheer him up. Arthur gave Alasdair plenty of lip while being questioned and afterwards Alasdair decided a life spent on his knees (ahem) as a servant would be just what the doctor ordered for the proud, haughty Englishman.

Francis and Arthur are Francis and Arthur no matter what the universe and sparks fly right from the get-go. Francis does enjoy tormenting Arthur but Arthur gives as good as he gets and Francis…likes it? They both do, actually. Just staring across the room in a: “Grrr, I hate you so much but I want you inside me so badly you bastard fuck you!” way. More guilt for Francis because now he’s attracted to two men on top of everything else and only one of them is his spouse. Alasdair notices and is pissed as hell but then he also can’t help imagining that blonde on blonde Action and ffffuuuuck. He should just get rid of Arthur, who’s a terrible servant anyway, but ffffuuuuck. Seeing him on his knees is…ffffuuuuck. Also, much more importantly, having Arthur around to fight with has rallied Francis’s low spirits at last. So throwing their prisoner in the nearest loch is a big no-no. You played yourself, Alasdair. For Arthur’s part, he knows he should be trying to escape and not thinking so much about Auld Alliance double dickings but it’s like he’s losing his mind around them. Seriously, what is wrong with him? Why is he feeling this way for these sexy husbands he’s meant to hate and also it’s winter so why the fuck is he suddenly so hot all the time?! Scotland is meant to be cold but Arthur is stumbling around flushed and unsteady with a brain full of cotton as if he were drunk. This must be how omegas feel when their heats are close. But that’s not relevant to Arthur, who’s confident he’s 100% a beta and always has been. Which is fortunate because an omega can’t be king in England. Absolutely, totally against the law down there. So it’s a good thing that’s not what Arthur is. That he definitely isn’t one of the 0.01% of omegas who present late for Reasons no one understands yet because it’s the past and advanced medicine still involves covering people in leeches and yelling at stars. No, Arthur is just coming down with something. He definitely isn’t a late bloomer. Definitely. Definitely, definitely. Otherwise his already bad situation would be even worse! And even Arthur Bloody Kirkland isn’t that unlucky. Hahahaha haha…haha…ha

So that’s our pitch, folks! We have Alasdair: the alpha king trying to balance complex political realities with adoration for his spouse. Alongside Francis: the beta king consort torn apart by the guilt of being one of his beloved Alasdair’s Biggest Problems in a way he can’t fix. And finally Arthur: the captured beta (…) secret prince trying to find a way to escape back to his kingdom before anyone discovers his true identity. Oh the drama, oh the angst, oh the romance, oh the everything. Good God, please let me ramble on about these fictional men. I am Like This thinking about them:

[kinaesthetiqueer]

You've more or less single-handedly altered my entire perception of Nora as a character, and I mean that in the best way possible, making me enjoy her so much more every time I rewatch RWBY (which I gotta do again at some point, but that's neither here nor there)

However! This leads to my question :3 I noticed you had a few fics about her, and that she's also a very present character in your brain space, I kinda wanna know more about Satya Vaswani (which I now know her name is!!! Which is so cool!!!) and specifically your thoughts about her, what about her appeals to you, basically sharing as much as you want to!

I had a mild overwatch phase some years ago, so I know some Basic lore, but I always love learning and hearing about people's favorite characters :3

Oki thank you byeeee!~

aksnskajdhskanjs WONDERFUL QUESTION AND THANK YOU THIS TOOK DAYS TO WRITE BUT IT WAS NICE TO BE REASSURED THAT I DO STILL LOVE HER (AND HER GIRLFRIENDS, BY PROXY).

quick psa below for anyone who follows me for overwatch; otherwise, you can skip to the blue text & read more for sym gushing

im gonna preface this by saying my knowledge of overwatch ends in about mid to late 2019, which is right around the time i finally and miserably acknowledged that i could no longer play sym in the game because i could not adjust to sym 3.0. (for context, when blizz announced her 3.0 rework in 2018, i crawled under my desk and cried; there are pictures). while i also played rein and lucio, my real joy was playing sym and once i could no longer do that, i basically stopped playing. i'm not good at fps. there's a lot going on. i scream a lot. i cannot aim. overwatch remains my first and only fps. i just couldn't handle letting my friends down as a bad support-turned-dps as i cannot aim (even though they insisted i did not let them down) plus eventually a lot of other folks stopped playing, i got busy, blizzard continued to suck ass, etc. sym 3.0 was a personal death knell for my SI in overwatch

SO the last thing i read was the bastet short story and the last new chara i cared about was baptiste. i got soured on the fandom and the shipping base and crawled out of it into a perfectly happy ot3 isolation bubble. i say all this NOT to sound unhappy about this question, but to set up for the single boundary that i MUST enforce when it comes to overwatch:

i do not want to know anything about ovw post 2019!

this may sound harsh but i don't care about overwatch lore anymore!this is simply to prevent my brain from just absolutely self-imploding. i have a clear and complete outline for the take to the skies series and i only care about that series (and the demons/witch au) and a few other things that ive written; i do not want to corrupt that. i've heard whispers about sym lore updates and im simply not engaging with that. i don't need to know nor do i want to! thank you, good night! i'm content to willingly live in denial.

you see, my satya "symmetra" vaswani lives safe and sound in my brain. blizz can't touch her.

satya vaswani, also known as symmetra to her teammates and also her enemies, is a character near and dear to my heart! i knew nothing about her until i stumbled upon the fact that she was intentionally written as autistic. this was at a time in my life where i had recently discovered i was too, in a fun (not) series of events, and so i latched on immediately, not to mention when i started playing her, i found a niche and became a rather successful sym (which to me means being helpful, getting kills, STAYING ON THE FUCKING POINT, and not getting in the way). i don't remember what my hours ended up being on her but im pretty sure it was well over 100 and since the servers are gone??? i'll never know? im not downloading ovw 2 to find out. it's probably on my old blog. GAH. im not here to be be salty about blizz.

SATYA.

satya, much like nora, is a side[ish] character that i have taken every scrap of canon lore and extrapolated to the stratosphere. i acknowledge that i have surpassed canon and inserted my own, especially when it comes to her childhood.

that being said

here's canon:

After she was identified as one of the few capable of becoming a light-bending architech, young Satya Vaswani was plucked from extreme poverty and placed in the care of Vishkar's architech academy, never to return home. Isolated and lonely in her new life, Satya immersed herself in her education and training. She quickly grasped the applications of the technology and was one of the top students in her class. Satya approached hard-light manipulation differently than her peers, with their more procedural, mechanical constructions, instead weaving her constructs in the motions of the traditional dance of her homeland.

and then i, to recap practical ghosts to some extent, made it worse. she was singled out for a scholarship by the vishkar academies who intentionally sought out young kids with high compatibility with hard light tech. she has an older brother aditya and a younger brother krishna and her mom karishma. her father died when she was three; she is, at the time of pick up, eight.

she's taken away to the fledgling vishkar town of utopaea where she atends the prestigious vishkar dawn academy boarding school. fairly quickly she takes to HL. it just makes sense to her and she loves it! never mind that she's without her support net for the first time ever. higher up staff order her teachers to excuse her 'problematic' behaviour because they don't wan to damage the prodigy in the making. her mother fights to have satya come home regularly and succeeds in making sure she gets to visit. the higher up staff even court these wishes, hoping that karishma will see the good in vishkar's training and ABA therapy but satya's mom sees her daughter's personality changes and misery and the way she talks about her autism now, the bullying she receives from both adults and students, the way she only seems to focus on architecture. she doesn't like it one bit. and after four years of this back and forth fight between vishkar execs and karishma over the 'budding jewel' of vishkar, karishma finally finds another school closer to home and begins to make moves to take satya out of vishkar academy at the end of the school year.

in response, vishkar ensures that satya has no family left to go home to. they also make sure that not only it looks like an accident but a specific architectural failure that galvanizes satya's single track minded drive to make the world a better place in which no one ever loses their family to a building collapse again. she becomes a ward of vishkar through a series of legal dominos vishkar had in place; she's only twelve. she never finds out that vishkar is the one who killed her family (except for in this little riff i did on twitter that may or may not load). ALSO funny that i named it indomitable, bc i didn't know what rwby was when i wrote that XD. anyways i have all my tweets downloaded but it's not that important.

practical ghosts is a fun narrative because it's told completely outside of satya through documents about her (with the exception of three little chapters at the end, only one of which is from her POV) it's my fave of my satya vent fics. PG is in line with on the run from tomorrow and thursday's daughter's genre of 'no one asked me to go this deep with canon plausible backstory but i did anyway!'

satya NOW though. she comes to the watchpoint, essentially surrendering her vishkar insider info in return for asylum, and proceeds to have the meltdown of a lifetime the second no eyes are on her. she throws herself into discovering how much of her life is a lie (her first comic, where she begins wondering, inspires much of this, as it obvs happens before; while i have read her 2020 comic, i don't use it at all except to smile because it did not contradict my HCs or if it did i ignored it; i was made vaguely aware against my will that she has history with LW but again, i don't care)

she's sassy, she's deadpan, she's devoted, she's practical. she loves dance and cooking and all forms of gymnastics, skating, and ribbon arts. she'll take you to task for doing stupid shit and explain how you should fix it in the same breath. she's ruthless when it comes to making other's take care of themselves. she's harder on herself than anyone else dares to be. she likes birds. she likes making new ways to stim that aren't obvious. she has reclaimed her arm and her relationship with it. she's done an absolutely stellar job of reinventing herself in the wake of everything she's done and been involved with. she's taken all of vishkar's tech and made it better and more accessible. she prefers rebuilding missions more than combat ones. she loves drinking tea with ana. mei was her first human friend outside of vishkar; athena was her first friend at the watchpoint. her and lucio actually get along fine eventually. she is fearlessly devoted to those she loves. she's an early riser and early sleeper. she still cries sometimes when she allows herself to stim unhindered. she is a huge fucking demiace lesbian. she doesn't give a fuck about gender. she wears heels so she can discretely toe-walk and dresses because they're easy to move in. she can and will talk your ear off about her special interests but only if she loves you.

NONE OF THIS IS CANON

last i checked in canon, and based on voicelines, satya hasn't even LEFT vishkar. she's just doubting. she's still there under their thumb and i mean sure yeah that's fine but that was the great of overwatch HUGE sandbox, no plot, WOMEN, and oh my gods an autistic woman of color with the most wonderful voice and voice actor ever (hi ms bhimani i hope you're having a LOVELY day)

i took to sym because i wanted a more hopeful future for myself and i am awaaaaaaaare ive projected on her very hard but i gotta admit the fact that i turn 28 (her age) this year might have actually just made me grin like an idiot because oh my god i could NOT imagine that when i first got into overwatch in early 2017. jesus fuck i was twenty, i could barely see past my own nose. i REMEMBER tho, being like heeheehoohoo one day i'll be satya's age that'll be wild. complete hypothetical. ANYWAYS

i don't think im really answering the question here.

haven't even got to my favorite fuckin head canon. i SCREAAAAAAMED SO LOUD when i realized this. fuckiing rip to my friends bc i was in game and i was playing with a skin i had just unlocked and i noticed something incredible-

satya has a prosthetic left arm. she has two skins though where she looks more like she's wearing a school uniform. i think they're called architech and utopaea? but hey. hey. hey you know what she doesn't have in those skins?

her prosthetic.

SO. my second saddest and most favorite headcanon is that as an 18th birthday gift, when satya technically became an adult and thus could leave vishkar, vishkar offered her a choice. to quote 'nothing here to run from':

Just shy of her Academy graduation ceremony, an offer was made to officially cement her place in the Vishkar Corporation. “We only offer to the best and the brightest, Satya,” Sanjay had said, grasping her left hand in his right. “Wouldn’t you love to be the perfect architech, ready to change the world at a moment’s notice?” By the time she was eighteen, Symmetra only had room for perfection.

BECAUSE YEAH

i heavily headcanon vishkar to be just as bad as talon, since they are heavily intertwined. i would not put it past them.

so yeah, heavy heavy heavy disclaimer that i love satya 'symmetra' vaswani a normal amount but due to the inherent need to extrapolate a million things from a game that initially had three rubber bands and a paper clip worth of lore for her, i humbly recognize that the version of her that i love does only live in my head. and im okay with that!!!! but i love her canon self too, otherwise i would have never gone so feral about her to write over like 100k of her being loved, growing, living and learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gods i need to write her again.

also she has the best skins in the fucking gaaaaaaame she's so pretty and i am GAY

[far-side-skies]

Types of Episode Rewrites/New Episode Ideas I Usually Engage In:

Hey wouldn't it be fucked up if-? (Stratosphere, Cyclonia Rising)

I cannot suspend my disbelief for this episode, let's make it make sense (Stratosphere)

Hmm, needs more horror (Stratosphere (I swear I did not mean to bully Ravess so much))

I want to go to [x place that is mentioned once and never explored]

This also applies to characters, groups, and objects (eg. The reserve team Aerrow suggested in Talon Academy and never got brought up again)

This is cool, but it can be cooler (Shipwrecked, The Black Gorge)

This left me with more questions than answers (Origins. Enough said)

This could've been longer (Talon Academy)

Why does this episode exist? (Origins, Number One Fan)

I just want more episodes and by the skies I'm going to make them!

Let's have some fun, send me an episode title and I'll tell you how I'd rewrite it. I've already reworked a good number of episodes for AUs and the like, so I have a good number of them in stock already.

Or send me a prompt for a made up episode idea and we'll see what happens. I may consult the discord server for those.

[fereldanwench]

so since i had the tower ending available to me, i figured i'd run through it

disorganized, spoilery thoughts under the cut

so a few world-state items of note:

valerie had no romance (ofc)

valerie did the parade and saved goro (ofc)

valerie never met kerry

valerie didn't help judy with the clouds stuff so judy was also not a friend to call

valerie did have panam and river available as friends

valerie and johnny were very much not friends

i had only seen the ending with a friendship johnny, so getting to experience the rival dialogue was actually really cool. i did record the whole thing so i'll probably upload some clips from that and muse on it properly, but yeah, i love it when valerie and johnny fight. i loved being able to have her call him a narcissist 10/10. and i like that i could play her as still somewhat sympathetic to his situation

i love 2079 reed. his tie and office bod are precious <333

since valerie had no romance, i did get to hear goro during her in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes, which i absolutely loved

i knew about river and panam's phone calls/msgs and neither one of them are actually that close to valerie so the emotional impact there for me was minimal

much like with the devil ending, though, i wish goro was at least listed in her phone, even if it went to a disconnected number in 2079. valerie did tell him she was going to go with hanako prior to this, so having some kind of 'hey, are we doing this thing' msgs from him in 2077 would have been cool.

and like there seems to be some recognition from the devs that players who didn't get attached to any of the romances or had any other friends likely had some degree of fondness towards goro--hence using his voice in the coma. so once again, it just feels like there's missing content from him, basically. not even asking for romantic stuff here either--just more platonic interactions would have been very much appreciated!!!!

vik's situation depresses the hell out of me, even moreso than v's, although i did love getting to spend more time with him and see a different side to him just for characterization purposes. i loved the employee eval on his computer that said he talks to patients too much, because MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL

(i'm actually in the process of working on some story sets for the events that happen directly after the heist, and vik gossiping to goro has been on my mind since the 'vik likes to talk' line v can deliver so this just compounded that)

connecting with misty briefly does kind of heal the soul a little at least

seeing valerie un-chromed and with a shaved head was pretty jarring, although not as much as seeing her in those clothes lmao. like wtf did the fia do with the clothes she arrived in??? even if she wasn't in top form, she would still make an effort to look somewhat nice going to see an old friend but i mean, i get it, at this point my vision of valerie is so beyond the possibilities of the game's potential characterizations for v

i also have a glitch in my game in which she's constantly holding a pistol during some cutscenes lmao so uh having randos try to beat her up while she's visibly armed was odd

the devil ending is still valerie's canon so this was just a curiosity playthrough, but i am somewhat intrigued by the possibility of another AU/alternate timeline for her and goro playing off these events.

the obvious scenario would be valerie becoming a fixer and goro becoming her bodyguard after they work out their shit since goro is clearly unhappy in 2079 lmao, but this ending plays on the convenient-lack-of-communication tropes that i fucking hate in stories (like really, the FIA couldn't find a way to get in touch with v's friends and let them know what's going on? i don't buy it) so it'd require a lot of rework for me.

and i really can't see valerie willingly going with the FIA, particularly after she told goro she was gonna go with arasaka, so i think a lot of that would have to change too

but idk, it's not a priority. i like having the AU stuff to tinker with when i need a break from their canon, which i currently do not. maybe it'll be like the nomad AU and suddenly hit me out of nowhere :3

but yeah im glad i experienced it for myself since there can be so many little personalized variations, but i also feel kinda out of sorts because it just felt really OOC for valerie and there were some major downers there, lmao. i feel like i need a bit of a palette cleanser

OH and i liked rogue taking nibbles, that was a pleasant surprise

[guesst]

HELLO I HAVE QUESTIONS

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

i debated answerign with a single word to all pf these but i like gabbing

💘 off the top of my head ... i have an old crack fic i havent updated in ages, where deku becomes a child villain but nothing goes right for him i cant remember the name.. but i think my writing style and general likes/dislikes may have changed enough that reworking it would result in something different which might be interesting ?? or maybe the iruma soulmate au i wrote, i think adding a few extra scenes wouldve been nice . but as a general rule once i finish a fic i usually forget about it in a week hehe

🌈 soulmate au again !!!! angst/introspection is really not my thing, i find it p hard, and i think that was my first try at properly writing some via iruma agonising about a nonexistent soulmate lol

💋i dont mind either way !! unless i happen to have the juice to write a longish comment in which case sometimes i leave a question too so it would be nice to get an answer,, but it doesnt really bother me still

[my-own-walker]

Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

6.

The afternoon sun peeked through the leaves of the tree I laid under. The dancing light cast shadows on the ground that fluttered and shifted with each gust of wind. I stretched out on a blanket situated a few feet away from the base of the giant oak tree. Its trunk seemed to stretch up into the sky for miles, from my vantage point. The twisted branches intertwined to create a beautiful pattern. I breathed in fresh, crisp fall air as another breeze washed over me.

"Hannah," Kyle spoke, breaking me out of my daze. I turned my head to the right and looked up at him. He smiled at me before stroking my hair idly. "I was just making sure you weren't falling asleep on me."

I giggled softly and reached up to my head, putting my hand on top of his. "I was looking at the tree."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Here, look," I instructed, patting the blanket beside me. "Lay down and look up, you'll see what I mean." Kyle scooted over and laid down, blonde curls splaying like a golden crown around his head. "Look at how the branches weave together."

"It's pretty," he replied simply. "Not as pretty as you, though." I blushed, turning my head to once again face him. He propped himself up on his elbow and leaned down to kiss me. He stopped, suddenly.

"Hannah," he said.

"What?"

"Hannah," he repeated, louder. "Hannah!"

My eyes shot open at the sound of Lily's voice. Her hands grasped my arm tightly, shaking me awake. I sat up slightly to signal to her that she could stop manhandling me. Words couldn't quite come to my lips just yet.

"Christ, Han," Lily groaned, stepping back and grabbing my phone off of my nightstand. "Can you turn this shit off? Damn!"

I didn't even hear my alarm going off. Wordlessly, I grabbed my phone from her and unlocked it, tapping the necessary items to shut the racket off. My eyes still felt bleary, reality still not quite setting in. 

"Sorry," I croaked. It was about all I could manage.

"Are you even okay? Jesus," she asked, annoyance still coloring her tone. "You're still in jeans, babe."

I looked down, and to my own shock, found that I was still in yesterday's clothes. I stayed up almost all night reworking my horrible poem. I didn't even give myself time to get changed after getting home. I took breaks only for food and the bathroom, but even still I wasn't happy with the final product.

"I stayed up late doing homework," I replied, finally looking Lily in the eyes. She wore a light layer of makeup. Her hair was up and held back with a bright pink cloth headband. She was dressed and ready for class, in total contrast to me. "What time is it?"

"9:30," she answered. "Your alarm's been going off for like two hours. I think you missed your class." 

"Yep, I fuckin' did, huh?" I sighed, flopping back heavily onto my pillow. "This is so backward. You're going to class and I skipped mine."

"I have to today," she replied, sighing as well. "It's our first exam. Yay, History of American Education!" She was entirely sarcastic, of course. She sat on the edge of my bed and put her hand on my arm.

"I had the weirdest dream," I whispered, looking off into space. "I was on a date or something."

"Oooh, with who?" Lily teased. For a second, I couldn't quite remember. In the way that dreams tend to leave your head as soon as you open your eyes. Then, it dawned on me. My eyes widened slightly.

"Y-you know, I can't really remember," I stammered, too embarrassed to admit the truth.

"Well, that's boring, then. I thought you were going to say something funny like Leon or Channing Tatum," she complained, standing to leave.

"Ew, Lily," I cringed. "Channing Tatum? Really?"

"What? He's disgustingly handsome," she returned, beginning to walk out of the room. "You're like, the only girl that doesn't think that. It would be so funny if you had a sex dream about him."

"You're so fucking gross! Leave!" I cackled, throwing a pillow at her as she walked out the door. 

"Bye, love you!" she called back.

"Love you," I grumbled in reply, turning onto my side. I stared at the wall across from my bed, straight at the David Bowie poster I had hung up. He stared back at me with his piercing bi-colored eyes, his bright orange hair blazing majestically. 

Oh, David, I thought. I think I'm fucked. 

+

Before long, the sun set and it became time to walk over to 1024 Broadway Street.

Just come over at 7. 

I stared at the text Kyle sent, reading it over almost every minute. I was afraid to be too early, but I also didn't want to be too late. I also, for sure, did not want to see him after the dream I had. For some reason, I had this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I thought about him. The same feeling I had when he was about to kiss me in the dream.

I couldn't quiet my thoughts about him on the entire walk to the Kappa Lambda Gamma house. It was agonizing. I intentionally wore a pair of athletic shorts and an oversized sweatshirt for the little meetup. The signals in my mind were already fried, I didn't want to confuse them further by wearing something nice. My caveman girl brain would mistake this thing for a date, given the night prior's events. 

The house was a red brick colonial with black shutters and white, rounded-off windows. The fraternity's Greek letters, cut out of wood and painted a dark blue, sat just above the doorway, just in case any of the guys got lost, I assume. When you're piss drunk, having your frat's symbol emblazoned onto your house like a bat signal should give you a higher success rate of getting home. 

I had been in the house before. Or at least, I was pretty sure I had been there before. Like I've said before, I went to a lot of parties during my time at Tulane, thanks to Lily. Kyle's frat didn't host often. They were on probation after a few unsavory incidents in the house left people injured or harmed in some way. It had been a long time since I even walked near the KLG house.

Too afraid to simply walk up to the door and knock, I stood on the sidewalk, a few yards from the house, and pulled out my phone to text Kyle to come get me. Before I could even open the messages app, though, I heard a voice call my name. 

I looked up quickly and found Kyle standing on the porch, waiting for me. He must have had the foresight to realize I'd be unsure of how to even approach getting inside. He gestured for me to come closer with his hand. 

"Come on in, I didn't want you to get lost," he called to me as I rushed closer. "It's a big house."

"I can see that," I quipped, raising my eyebrows. I walked through the door Kyle was holding open for me and stood awkwardly in the foyer, waiting for him to show me where to go. Kyle turned and looked at me, pausing for a moment, almost as if he was waiting for me to lead the way.

"Oh- uh," he stuttered, "you can follow me." He paused awkwardly again before sliding past me. The house was strangely quiet. I followed him up the large set of stairs on the left side of the foyer, taking care to not trip or something and further my embarrassment. In all honesty, I couldn't even fully look at him. I should have still been seething from his stunt the day before but instead, I was weirdly nervous.

He turned left and led me down a hallway, stopping about halfway down in front of a door on the left side. 

"This is me," he uttered, opening the door. "I'm one of the lucky ones that didn't get stuck with a roommate." He stepped in and waited for me to follow suit before closing the door, turning the latch on the doorknob to lock it. He must have seen my face change to one of discomfort. "Just so my brothers can't barge in and be weird," he quickly added.

His room was surprisingly well decorated. His bed sat lofted in the right corner of the room with a grey-striped bedspread tucked neatly into the bed frame. His desk was nestled under the bed, lit with a small desk lamp and the light of his computer monitor. A chest of drawers sat in the left corner of the room right below a small window, which was adorned with dark blue curtains. Closer to where we were standing was a small couch on the right side of the room, and a TV stand with a small television atop it on the left. In the center of the floor laid a grey wool rug. The walls were littered with various posters and flags, including a Tulane flag and a Beatles poster. 

"Abbey Road," I remarked, pointing at the aforementioned wall hanging.

"One of the best albums of all time," he answered, walking to his desk. He pulled out the chair and sat on it sideways so he could face me. 

"Best song on it?" I challenged, not fully believing that he'd actually listened to the album.

"How can I pick just one?" he smirked. I was sure I found him out. Anyone who actually listens to an album for sure has a favorite. "The entire B-side of the record from 'You Never Give Me Your Money' on is brilliant."

I was stunned. "The medley, huh?" I muttered. "I like 'I Want You.'"

"That's a long one," he chuckled. 

"I prefer The White Album, though," I replied. I still stood stiffly in the front of the room. I didn't want to sit in his furniture, for fear of what he might have done on them. Kyle turned to grab his books out of his backpack, so I took the opportunity to step forward and plop down, criss-cross applesauce on the ground. The rug was soft, thankfully. I slung my bag off my shoulder and looked down to open it. 

"You can, you know, sit on the couch," Kyle remarked smartly. "You don't have to sit on the floor."

"I know, I just, work better this way." A lie. But a harmless one at that.

"Well, I feel bad that I'm in a chair and you're not," he declared, sliding out of his chair to join me on the rug. "We're just brainstorming so I don't need a desk."

+

We spent an hour talking through the project and its requirements, making a schedule to meet every Thursday night to get little pieces done. The final project acted as our final, rather than an exam, so we both agreed to take it seriously. I was silently thankful that someone so good at Calc would be contributing so much to my final grade in the class. 

"Now," Kyle started, setting his math notebook aside. "I feel like I need to get something out of the way." 

My stomach dropped. "Y-yeah?"

"Your poem," he replied lowly. My stomach fell even further. "I want to apologize for that. I shouldn't have been so rude."

"No, it's fine," I began. "It was kinda bad."

"I don't know why I said anything."

"I get it. But I'm an English major. I should write better," I continued. "I rewrote it a bit. I was struggling with it, honestly." I appreciated the apology. It was big of him to own up to what he did. It was likely because we'd have to see each other regularly and be civil to do well on the project. I didn't care the reason, it just made me happy to know he had a sliver of a conscience.

"Can I try to help? I actually like poetry," he asked. "I also listen to a lot of music and that's like poetry I think." I grabbed my bag and rummaged through, pulling out the small spiral notebook I use for ideas and brainstorming.

"What do you propose? It's due tomorrow," I responded. Kyle shifted to lay on his stomach, resting his chin on his hands. He looked off into middle distance, eyes cast toward the door. 

"I just think that writing about eyes is cliche like I said. What was the prompt again?"

"Love. Just love. Fucking vague, right?" I snarked. 

"God, yeah," he sighed. "I think... I think if you want to describe loving someone, like parts of them, you should pick unique things. At this point you shouldn't scrap the whole poem, just tweak it."

"Yeah, I agree, again, considering it's due tomorrow."

Kyle inhaled sharply and turned onto his side, still staring off, rather than looking at me directly. I sat, pen perched over the notebook paper, waiting to write his ideas down. Even if I didn't use them, I still valued other people's takes on things. 

"Talk about, oh, I don't know. Their clothes. How they express themselves. How they stand out from a crowd. Or the way they scrunch their face up when they stretch." I started scribbling his words down quickly. "Her crooked smile, or the way her eyes flash when she gets passionate about what she's saying. The way her hair is always getting in her eyes, or how she pushes her glasses up her nose when they start to slip down."

I don't know when it happened, but I slowly stopped writing, transfixed by his words. The detail with which he described some imaginary person left me flustered. You could tell he knew what true love was.

"Maybe," he continued, "write about how you love when she finishes your thoughts. Or how she taps her pencil on her face when she's thinking."

I do that. I thought.

"Should I keep going?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at him, finding him staring directly at me. I met his deep brown eyes, which were now sparkling and bright. He sat up to look at my notebook. "No good, huh?"

"Oh, god, no it was great," I stammered, still looking into his eyes. "Sorry, I just, my pen ran out of ink."

"Hah, that sucks. Was that helpful at all?"

"Immensely," I breathed.

Previous Part | Next Part

[your-local-squip-fanatic]

So I think I figured out why I'm having such a rough time writing the AU aside from, y'know, creative block: the fact that I'm basically doing it as a rewrite more than making it my own writing more. Trying to rework something in the books to fit DLAU is HARD, and it's only going to get worse once I hit TDP.

So yeah... in short I'm still going to kind of follow the events in ToA, but I can't just make it be that I slap Lester into a scene from canon and call it a day. I've got to do more when I get to original scenes not in the books. Right now trying to get the motivation to write is a pain but hopefully approaching the AU with a new strategy can save myself from gray hairs in my 20s.

I do apologize for taking so long with Ch 5, but sometimes the brain just goes "nah." I'll try to get it out sometime soon- hell I'm aiming to release it on April 8th along with some art for the occasion, hehe def a reason why that day- though again, I'm shit with my own deadlines.

Tldr, im still working on the au my brain just fucking hates me

[majicmarker]

I am desperate to hear about drop dead ed

ah, i see u have chosen violence (aka the most complex of my wips), but NEVERTHELESS…

drop dead ed is, as the title indicates, my take on an eddissy drop dead fred. it’s been a hot minute since i’ve seen the movie, but i was fully inspired when i listened to the how did this get made podcast ep about it (which—y’all have to listen to that, if you haven’t already. if you don’t have stitcher premium, google it and you’ll find the audio files. seriously legendary).

now, i am firmly in the team fred camp—that is to say, i don’t take the events of the movie literally so much as i believe that elizabeth is purporting the things that fred is doing. fred is a figment of her imagination, and everything she thinks he’s doing, she’s either Actually doing, or imagining doing for various reasons. i have wildly strong opinions abt this film, like—

you call it a dark comedy, i call it a high stakes family drama about the generational trauma that impacts mother/daughter relationships, how it shapes our sense of self, and how we cope with that via the outlets we create to give ourselves freedom from our repression. ya dig?

that being said… welcome to my excuse to dig into the psychoanalysis of a movie from 1991, i’m gonna make it eddissy

how am i going to do that, exactly? i’m still shaking out the specifics. whenever i write a movie, etc. au, i tend to rework the plot to suit the ship (as it should be done, imo; i don’t want a shot-for-shot remake that renders the ship ooc, i just want to use the source material as inspiration). SO…

right now, i’m toying with the idea that chrissy knows eddie irl in a sort of tangential, abstract way—she knows of him, they just don’t run in the same circles—and once again i’ll work the angle that she admires him, envies him, etc. at some point she has a slight mental break, thanks to her fucking mother (though more of a fantasy-genre mental break than a psychologically accurate one?), and the imaginary friend she manifests to cope is eddie, because his irl self is such a comfort to her even though they don’t know each other personally, intimately, what-have-you.

as chrissy deals with this new, unhinged aspect of herself, shenanigans of self-discovery abound and, natch, she and eddie fall in love for realsies. i’m just trying to sort out how to fuse imaginary friend eddie and irl eddie, but chances are it’s going to get very fantasy and meta and maybe they’ll have been the same entity all along? yadda yadda, whatever i need to call it to make it work.

i def need to give the movie another rewatch or several, and this fic outline will probably have more in-depth notes than i’ve ever bothered to dig into before, and all that said it’ll probably be a wee bit before this baby’s ready to post, but—i am unreasonably excited about it, so it’s on its way in the near-ish future 💫

[phantombmoll]

Once upon a time I was obsessed with OUAT (the tv show).

When it first came out I loved that first season, I fell head over heels in love with most of the characters but especially some side characters *cougharchiehoppercough* As the first season unfolded I wrote a fanfic that was pretty much novel length and revolved around Archie and his true love a take on Sleeping Beauty.

When Sleeping Beauty was introduced on the show I made the fic AU, then lost inspo. I purged all my fanfictions whilst in a bout of depression, deleted all my writing and my tumblr and everything else.

Then I got back into writing again, especially fanfic. I tried to rework that fic. It's been years but I still couldn't figure it out. I couldn't rework it, probably because I didn't want to. I love the character I created and I adore the relationship that blossomed between her and Archie.

I've come back into writing fanfic again, I adore it, I don't know why I left it behind and to get back into it I'm reworking some old stuff.

So, I've decided to rewrite the fic (the first wasn't the best quality as I was finding my writing legs but now nearly 12 years later I'm definitely more experienced). - not just because fuck some of canon and b/c I stopped watching after a while when my favs got sidelined but also because.... it's fanfic....

Anyway if anyone out there loves Archie, loves OC's and likes fanfic keep your eyes peeled because that'll be coming soon and I already have a bunch of gifsets made up of them being adorable.

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

Hi my love

💝💌💘

Z, my darling!

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I have to talk about My Hand Was The One You Reached For here, my first ever TLOU fic. The response to it? INSANE. I came here from a fandom where, especially recently, stuff about a father-daughter relationship wasn't getting much traction, so since I was used to a small response, I wasn't really expecting anything. I first made a Tumblr post about it, again, not expecting more than a handful of notes. After all I'm a fandom newbie who only came here because of the show, I knew close to nothing about the game. And then the post got thousands of notes in a matter of hours. People were dropping their own fics in the reblogs!!! I dropped mine on ao3 and it got more kudos & comments in a single day than my most recent Titans fics got in months!!! That never happened to me before. I've had popular fics but never to this extent, never so fast. So I was absolutely blown away. Thank you guys for welcoming me so kindly 🥹

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Since I'm currently splitting my writing time between two fandoms, right now I don't have anything started for The Last of Us, but I can list the ideas I will be working on once I'm done working on my Titans ideas.

Ellie forgives Joel by writing a song about it, based on Back to December by Taylor Swift - but before I get to that I want to watch the gameplay of tlou2 and torture myself since I don't know the full story. For science.

Ellie overhears the word "adoption" at school and asks Joel to explain it to her.

Another dancing fic, something based in Jackson, though I don't have a clear picture of it yet. Although I'm thinking about the kitchen. You know, another T Swift lyrics, dancing in the refrigerator light.

As for Titans, I'm currently in the process of writing the last two chapters of my newest multi-chapter Acrida, which is a time travel fic that can cause you a baby fever 🤭 but come on, which fictional father we all know and love would pass on a chance to go back in time and get to know his adopted kid when they were just a tiny little baby? There's some angst though, I actually wrote the heaviest scene today and I spent a good ten minutes crying. But I'll be keeping that under wraps and instead share something sweet.

The snowflakes falling around them became bigger. Few of them settled on his hair, one dropping right onto his nose and that was a game changer; Rachel's eyes grew round like dinner plates, lips forming a tiny ooh as she swatted at it with her hand.

"What's that?" Dick gasped, his eyes as wide as hers. "Snow? You like snow?"

She blinked at him a few times, entranced by the sound of his voice. Then she broke into a giggle, twisting in his arms as she laughed.

Dick tucked her closer to himself, laughing as well. She was the sweetest child, her sparkling personality already shining through, and her baby laugh could easily have the power to clear the sky off the heaviest clouds.

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

I once had this thought to rewrite my earliest fics because reading them made me cringe and I know I would have done them better now when I'm more experienced. But I decided against it because it shows the progress I've made as a writer, how much I've actually learned. So they'll stay cringe. If y'all want to binge my fics, start from the bottom so they get better instead of getting worse lol 😂

There's one though, where I only realized the issue recently. There's this collab AU fic for Titans I wrote with a friend. Huge thing, our best work to date, HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING (shameless self promo but fuck it we ballin) it's called Wicked Game. Recently, we started developing a sequel. Nothing written yet, only brainstorming and exchanging notes for now, but I realized recently that damn we really fucking put ourselves into a corner with that epilogue 🫣🤭

[bonesandthebees]

Do you have any future WIP's that you're going to post to Ao3? Because obviously you have Strings of Fate and you've been talking about rewriting someone else's dream, but I'm curious you have any other fics or anything you plan to post. Obviously don't answer if you don't want to, I'm just curious.

-🌼

oh daisy anon i always have wips in my drive. i'm trying not to let myself work on them rn since i have such a backlog (ie: finish stars, continue strings, start someone else's dream) but yeah, I have more plans for once I catch up on those

since someone else's dream rewrite is gonna be a long-form fic, my current other wip ideas besides are all gonna be my shorter-form stuff like what strings is gonna be. I have several options I'm letting sit in my drive rn and I haven't decided what I'll do next bc, again, backlog. I have other shit to focus on. but some possibilities include: more 'weird mind fuck' that's like looking for a creation myth but a bit less fantastical and more grounded in family problems, a midwest gothic horror thing that I'd have to rework a bit bc i originally planned it a while ago but I still REALLY wanna write, or hell maybe I'll get around to actually writing out the full plot idea i had for that cyberpunk au i was talking about a while back. i wrote over 10k words for it while i was in oklahoma lmao.

also, I don't have concrete plans to write it, but I mentioned in an earlier ask tonight that I've been watching house of the dragon and it's been giving me medieval royal politics brainrot and I do actually have kind of a plot for that?? more just like a setup for who's who regarding sbi. again, no plans to write it actually, but it would be fun lol. we'll see!

[piece-of-hweat]

I- WH- HUH???

I have been jumpscared by @nightwanderers12081, I have no clue what I am doing please send help /light-hearted joke

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? / 2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

I do not have an AO3 account. Sorry to disappoint broskis 😔

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Uhhh.. everything dude idk. Currently/so far, I've written/done things related to:

Little Nightmares/Sounds of Nightmares

OMORI

Hollow Knight

Wings of Fire (it's been so long since I've written WoF stuff...)

Hermitcraft/Minecraft

Charlie in Underworld/Underworld Office

Animation vs Animator/Animation vs Minecraft

Sky:COTL (I'm kinda dipping my toes in this fandom. It's fun ngl!)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

N/A

5. Do you respond to comments?

Again, don't have AO3. As for works that I share with my friends, or just post in random places, I respond, yes. It's just nice seeing or hearing or just... talking about writing works. I mean. Literally half of my online friends were literally made via just talking to each other about AUs n stuff *stares at NightWanderers*

Plus. Criticism. I like it. I need it. I want to get good- that way I can fight god.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? / 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Bold of you to assume that I've written an ending before. (All of my works just perish or get reworked before I even reach the ending 💀 it is a genuine issue)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

UPDATE:

ALRIGHT SO I WAS JUST TOLD THAT I ANSWERED THE QUESTION WRONG WHOOPS--

No I don't.

9. Do you write smu--

No. Cease.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Quite frankly, 75% of the works that I write/think about is literally just crossovers. The current one that I am trying to work on is a Little Nightmares x OMORI crossover AU called "Little Akumu"!! Currently I only have very small story/plot point ideas but dsoiajodi. One day I'll work on it more.

There is also a personal project of mine called "The Lost Fields", where I take characters from different fandoms and stick them in ✨ my brain/dreamlands ✨. It isn't written though so...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. Honestly, you'd have to be some kind of bored out of their mind person with nothing better to do if you'd be trying to steal my non-existent work bro 💀 Like... I don't even post 90% of my stuff publicly. How are you getting it and why. It's so pointless--

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No! I have not actually! Unless you count writing a "fan" story about dragons with your friends in grade school as "co-writing", I have not. Would be interested in doing that though!

13. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Gonna be real. No fuckin clue-- I think the ships that I like/enjoy are just... ships that I enjoy equally?

Idk, don't have a favourite.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

*Sighs and looks upon the large graveyard of unfinished passion-works*

Oh Little Akumu... please don't join your brethren...

15. What are your writing strengths? / 16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Haven't actually thought about this a lot... I have genuinely no clue.

Strengths? Perhaps descriptive writing?? Like... describing scenes and surroundings. I think this might simply be because I've written a lot about some vivid dreams I've had.

As for weaknesses.... Grammar. Like... seriously. WHAT is the difference between "affect" and "effect". I still don't understand. What about "who's" and "whose"? And what in the shit is the "ie" before "s" rule, what FUCK??? LIKE-- for a solid two years of grade school, I kept mixing their and there up. And I didn't even know how to spell "their". I spelt it as "thier".

Another weakness might also be pacing, as well as stringing events together in a cohesive manner. Because I love making plot points, but they're only points! You only get a plot line once you connect the dots together (something that I struggle a lot with sometimes)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm currently trying this out. I've been working on small snippets of German dialogue with Noone (sounds of nightmares child-protagonist) and one of my Little Nightmare OCs (Der Junge mit dem Regenschirm; the boy with the umbrella)

I am trying... but failing.

Still havin fun though--

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I genuinely do not remember. It probably has something to do with animals or fantasy, because I ate that shit up as a kid (I... still do)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I am not proud of most of the fics I've written ngl. Hoping that Little Akumu might change that. (or just... any of my other Little Nightmares works. I've noticed I'm very passionate about works involving the traumatized number children)

Alright, time to sacrifice some people to the reblog thread.

Uhhh... get over here @phlourgobrrr, @linkdiangelo247 and... um. Let's just throw you in here as well @chorusofkhonshu

You don't need to do this if you don't want to /genuine

Have fun if you do though o/

Good night/day buh bye

*explodes*

20 Q's for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @dp-marvel94! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

I've just posted my 22nd work a few days ago!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

37,763

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far, all my published fics are for Danny Phantom. It's a fandom that's near and dear to my heart and my favorite to write for. I've written fanfiction for myself in a lot of different fandoms over the years. Miraculous Ladybug, Mega Man (Star Force, Battle Network) and Fire Emblem are a few. (Will these ever see the light of day? Probs not, lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  5. Frayed Ends - 37 kudos - Jazz and Maddie are fighting more often. Jack wants to reach out and help his family. 4. The Same Blood - 45 kudos - Maddie and Jack try to help a sick girl that collapsed in front of their house. They don't know what to make of her condition. Danny wants to help.

3. Returned Home - 49 kudos - Maddie finds Danny at home after he disappeared ten months ago.

2. The Broken Pieces Left Behind - 66 kudos (tie) - Maddie knew what the portal did to Danny. If she could create something that essentially turned him into a ghost, she could figure out a way to fix all of it. Even if she hasn't made any progress in the past two months, she'll keep trying. She didn't account for what Danny wanted. 1 . What's Out of Out Control - 66 kudos (tie) - Danny thought he had it under control. He thought he could finally hang out like they used to always do. Tucker could feel the rift between them widening. It wasn't getting smaller anytime soon.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! There were a few comments from my two earlier fics that I never responded to and it's already been so long and I feel like I ended up putting it off too long to say anything now 😓But I'm so so thankful for all the comments I receive! I never thought anyone would read my work, let alone comment on it. I'm always between two modes of 'author commentary' and 'screaming thank you and running away'.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lol, I love my angsty stuff and there are so many different flavors of angst, so it's hard to pick just one. I'd say the piece I aimed to write for Angst Fest, The Broken Pieces Left Behind, might be it. It ends on a rather hopeless note for the Fenton family that even I don't know how to make everything better for them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Home for a Cat. It was for a Ectoberhaunt prompt that I was absolutely stumped on. So I decided someone was going to adopt a cat by the end of the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ahh, so I actually posted a fic on FFN wayyy back when I was in high school. I remember it being received pretty well but I got a really rude comment on a simple spelling mistake. Back then, I was just told I had dyslexia a few years prior and I had some really bad self-esteem issues tied in with that. So, yeah, that comment basically made me terrified to ever show my work to anyone ever.

It's been over ten years since then and I wanted to actually get over that fear. I impulsively decided to do Angst Fest with the mindset that no one would even look at what I posted. Not only did people look, everyone has been so kind!!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lkdajldkf, nope. I get flustered trying to write basic romance and having two characters hold hands, lmao. Major props to those that can, it's definitely a skill that takes time to master just like any other genre.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Also haven't had this either.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but it seems like a lot of fun.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Back when the show was airing, Amethyst Ocean (Danny/Sam) was my go to. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and it's really nostalgic for me. But, I don't really read a lot of shippy things for Danny Phantom, so ships don't make or break a fic for me.

If I'm looking to read romance, the whole Love Square (MariChat my beloved) with Miraculous Ladybug will always be great. Even if I jumped ship on the show around season 2 or 3 and I have no clue what they're doing now, lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I honestly have so many WIPs that are unfinished on my computer from over the years. Maybe a super old one that I titled 'Phantoms in the Daylight'. Angst once more with Character Death as the main pain point. I like the beginning but oh boy, does it get sloppy and confusing real quick. I'd need serious outlining energy put into it if I'd ever want to salvage it and I just don't have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Give me two blorbos and I'll make them talk forever.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery and description. I love the dialogue portion so much that I end up running into the floating heads in an empty room problem in the first drafts of my fics. My first round of edits are dedicated to making sure I have a scene and grounding characters into it. And then I have to go back later to make it not feel so robotic sounding.

(Also a weakness but more as in fic than writing. Summaries and Titles. I stare at my drafts on AO3's editor for at least half an hour trying to pull something together, lol)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I can probably talk about this for hours, lol. I absolutely love foreign languages, especially when it comes to linguistics. So, I'll try to be brief, lmao. Short answer: depends on the fic but normally no. I already spend so much time fussing over the word choice/slang/formality/dialect characters use in my native language. I don't have a good enough grasp on another language for it to sound natural to the reader. ("They would not fucking say that" is my internal monologue during dialogue edits, lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It's a toss up between Pokemon and Danny Phantom. I first learned about fanfiction from a friend who showed me FFN for the Pokemon fics. I looked around the site and found all of the Danny Phantom fics soon after and got hooked on those. I started writing around then and it would have been for one of those two.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hard to chose one! Writing technicality wise, I'm proud of how What Remains on the Table turned out. I consider description my weak point, so the original draft was 0 dialogue with very stiff descriptions. I was able to edit it to really practice my environmental storytelling. (Although, please mind the tags if you click the link as it does deal with the dissection topic)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and I'm not sure who writes fanfic, so @lavendarlily, @fangirlwriting-stories, @grub-xd, @nanaarchy and anyone else that wants to join!