#retirement from writing i guess
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AN ANNOUNCEMENT
I guess this is it guys... my work isn't saved anywhere else and there's still NO response from the Tumblr help desk 🥺😔
#retirement from writing i guess#i guess this is it#thank you guys for your love and support#will miss writing#love you guys lots
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Hand That Feeds (Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female!Reader) pt. 2
a/n: this one's a bit shorter, next one will have smut, i am so fcking sleepy writing this i'll have to check tomorrow it this isn't a hallucination
Warnings: Horny Violence, Blood and Guts, Suggestive Themes, we're on a steady route to pound town
Summary: Cooper catches his prize, but an uninvited guest puts a strain on an already rocky relationship. Cross-Posted on AO3
PT. 1
You must be a Vault Dweller. Truly. There is no other way to explain the utter lack of self-preservation skills.
Cooper finds you almost immediately after the sun sets. He can see the flickering light of your small bonfire through the trees, and languidly, he stalks forwards, opting to stay in the shadows to observe you a moment longer.
You're sitting on the ground, back leaning against a destroyed carcass of a plane. Hair pushed out of your face, Cooper can see the flames illuminating your focused expression with warm light. Once again, he's struck by this seemingly regal air around you. Like you've been raised in a castle, far from this fucked up place, that is now his home. A princess, stuck in harsh reality. Eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip tucked hard between your teeth, you seem to be pondering over something.
With quick motions, you take your messenger bag, opening it and dumping its contents onto the ground in front of you. It's somewhat hard to see, but the sound of small glass bottles knocking into each other is telling enough.
Taking stock of your inventory, you begin to tuck everything back into the bag. Chems upon chems, RadAway, RadX, quite the little drug library, and Cooper's eyes immediately lock onto his most sought after, amber liquid. Why would a Smoothie like you need any of that stuff is beyond him. He hasn't seen any Ghouls in the small town you hail from.
Perks of the job, he thinks to himself, as you stack away at least five vials.
At the last bottle, you hesitate, bringing it up towards the light, and looking at it with a worried expression. The liquid swirls inside, and Cooper watches from the shadows, as you press the cold glass against your forehead in a motion eerily reminding him of a prayer. Your shoulders shudder, and Cooper's mangled ears strain, as he sees your mouth move.
- Let me be brave - you whisper to the vial, like some ancient spell, and something new tightens in his chest, something he immediately brushes away.
Then, he sees you lift a very familiar piece of equipment, putting it on your wrist, and begin to tweak something in the controls. A Pip-Boy. Old and battered, but apparently still working. All his confusing feelings are wiped clean in an instant. Now, he's truly intrigued. The clasps seem slightly too big for your hand, and the device slides the length of your arm, as you move.
You sigh, heavily, then press something, and the Geiger meter clicks to life, picking up on stray radiation. Cooper feels his muscles tense, knowing all too well, why the device has activated so rapidly. As a Ghoul, he leaves a trail of radiation, that follows him wherever he goes. He wasn't particularly aware, that a Pip-Boy could pick up on it, but he wasn't surprised either.
The sound makes you freeze in your spot. Slowly, you scan the area, your hand extended towards the darkening outline of the surrounding trees. As your hand passes by the place Cooper has chosen as his hiding spot, the meter grows louder.
Jumping to your feet, you raise the blasted thing in front of you, your other hand tugging at the waistband of your skirt, freeing your trusted kitchen knife. As if to double-check, you put your hand somewhere to the back, listening to the quiet cracking noise.
You can't fully confirm your suspicions on time, as Cooper springs to action.
A thick line of rope falls over your shoulders, and before you have the chance to react, the loop around you tightens. Your entire body is tugged with surprising force in the direction of the treeline. Loosing your footing, you collapse onto the damp forest floor, chin scraping in the process. The yelp of shock tearing out of your throat, rings through the surrounding area, before you literally, eat dirt. The force of the impact wrenches the knife from your hand, as it bends at an uncomfortable angle. The weapon lands somewhere in the grass, the blade reflecting the flames.
Wiggling like a worm, trying to free yourself from the bounds, you notice a pair of well-worn shoes entering your vision. They cross the remaining distance, stopping just short of your head. Knees crack as your attacker squats down, before taking your hair into a hard grip and lifting your head from the dirt.
Your face twists in pain, neck craning uncomfortably, and with an overwhelming feeling of finality, your eyes land onto the face of a ghoul. The Ghoul. He turns his head slightly to the side with the meanes of grins, before letting go of your hair, your head falling back into the dirt.
- Oh, motherfucker - you groan, pulling your legs up, and attempting to get up.
- Stay down - the Ghoul's voice is rough and biting, and sudden pressure on your back pins you to the ground. - Do you know how fuckin' stupid it is, to light a fire in the wilderness? Any unsightly character could pick you off in seconds.
Spitting out stray clumps of earth and grass from your mouth, you scoff at his scolding tone.
- Thankfully, there are no unsightly characters here, huh?
- Oh, I wouldn't say that, sweetheart. - the bounty hunter tugs the toe of his shoe under your side, and kicks up, turning your body.
You roll onto your back, throwing a nasty look at the Ghoul, as he secures the loop of his lasso. His eyes reflect the light in the most haunting of ways, and you squirm under his gaze, which drags itself across your body, stopping briefly at the tips of your breasts, peaking from under your shirt. Swallowing thickly, your muscles relax, in hopes of loosening the rope. It barely gives, but your limbs recover some wiggle room.
Cooper blinks, his head jerking to the side, and only as he brings his hand up, do you register the gun in his hand. Making sure you can see it, he turns towards your messenger bag, grabbing it from the ground where you left it.
He sits down, somewhere outside your field of vision, and you risk pulling yourself up into a sitting position. He doesn't seem to mind it now, too busy with rummaging through your belongings. Finally, he pulls out a vial of amber liquid, watching it swirl in the flickering light of the bonfire.
- Now - Cooper starts, as he grabs the inhaler from his pocket, inserting the vial into it - Why would a backwoods healer have something like this on 'er?
Rolling your shoulders ever so slightly, the rope slides further down your arms, and you regard the Ghoul with a venomous rendition of a "are you fucking dumb?" look. Which he doesn't appreciate. His hands tremble, as he closes his mouth over the inhaler, taking a long hit, draining the entire vial. You try very hard, not to notice the low moan flowing out of him, as the drug enters his system. Or the way his eyes flutter blissfully for just a second.
- You never know, who might be needing help... - you mutter, wincing at the biting pain in your limbs.
- Well ain't that considerate of you - he coughs into his gloved hand, before sighing deeply, his head reclining back against the plane's exterior, his eyes closed.
From where you're sitting, he looks weirdly handsome. Rugged and very much Ghoul-like, but handsome nonetheless. The skin of his neck is pulled taunt, and in the flickering light of a dying bonfire, you can see a myriad of scars, littering any surface of his skin that's visible. Still, there were other matters at hand, that needed your attention, and you try to shift in your seat as quietly as possible, slowly but surely sliding the rope down your body.
- Next time you try to run away, I'll shoot you - your efforts are stilled by his warning tone, and by the way he waves his gun at you, you know he'll make good on this promise.
- Thought you needed me in good condition.
To that, he finally throws you a look from under his cowboy hat.
- Good... - he confirms, his other hand slowly shortening the length of the rope connecting the both of you - Ain't the same as mint.
The loop suddenly digs further into your flesh, and you grunt at the uncomfortable feeling of the rough rope scratching at your exposed upper arms.
Unfortunately, he's right. During your time as the local healer, you've done many questionable things to ensure the well-being of the town. One of those things, was dealing with organ harvesters. You've only bought a limb or a finger, every once in a while, as if that was some consolation for your darkened soul. Those moments quickly taught you, that something being good was most certainly not the same as ideal. Or mint, as your captor has supplied.
- You a Vault-Dweller? - the Ghoul finally asks, breaking the small spell of silence between you.
The question doesn't surprise you, and you lift the Pip-Boy as far up, as the lasso allows you. Which isn't a lot.
- Nah - the flames dance on your suddenly melancholic expression, and Cooper drinks it all up, curiosity spiking with each new information - My mother was. She ran away from her Vault when she was a teenager and joined the Brotherhood soon after.
- The Brotherhood doesn't recruit women - Cooper turns his body towards you, fishing for lies like a shark sniffing for blood.
- Oh, it doesn't? - your lips pull back into a teasing smile, which perhaps isn't the smartest thing to do, but entertainment is scarce in the Wastelands, and you're determined to have some fun - She posed as a man for years, picked up a job as a medic.
Cooper hums to himself, inviting you to elaborate with an inclination of his head.
- There, she met my father - you continue, looking over at the last glowing embers of the bonfire - They were discovered, court martialed for treason. They escaped together and had me somewhere along the way.
Your Pip-Boy still cracks, the radiation emanating from the Ghoul making the Geiger meter go haywire. With soft eyes, your hand traces the outline of the screen, watching the way green light dances on your fingers.
- The forbidden love of the Wasteland - you sigh into the silence - Sounds like a title of some romance novel, no?
- Or a bad porno - Cooper grumbles, rolling his eyes.
- What's a porno?
His head snaps towards you in record speed, a myriad of emotions running through his mangled expression. It settles on deep annoyance, when he notices the sly smirk on your lips, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing.
- Gotcha - your attempt at finger guns is pathetic at best.
- Oh, you think you're a fucking comedian, huh? - the bounty hunter asks, a slight amused tint to his words, which you consider to be a small victory.
- That's why they put a bounty on me - you giggle - I'm too damned funny.
- Shut it.
The sudden change in his tone catches you off guard, and you cock an eyebrow at him, confused. The Ghoul looks much more tense than seconds ago, his hand tightening around his gun. One of his legs kicks up a pile of dirt, smothering the dying embers of the bonfire, as he leans forward, seemingly ready to jump.
- Had I known you were such a buzz kill...-
You're not allowed to finish, as the Ghoul basically throws himself in your direction. Your yelp is cut short with a piece of flimsy cloth being shoved into your mouth. A series of muffled sounds, vaguely resembling "is this my robe?" escape you, and the Ghoul pushed against your head, until you fall back down onto the ground.
His body is hot against yours, as he covers you entirely with his weight. It's quite difficult to breathe through the makeshift gag and the overwhelming scent of blood, gunpowder, and the sickly sweet undertone of rot. As well as the unfamiliar feeling of having someone so close. You were a hermit after all.
- I said, shut the fuck up - he whispers harshly into your ear, and you shiver underneath him, as his chest rises and falls against your back.
Then, a sound somewhere close to the forest line makes your head whip in its direction. Cracking of twigs and heavy footsteps, coming closer and closer with clear determination.
- Healer? - your entire body stiffens, as a familiar voice rings out through the trees. - Are you alright, Healer?
Benny. The same Benny, which led this damned bounty hunter right to your doorstep is currently making his merry way towards the both of you. Your eyes follow the way the Ghoul's thumb loads the pistol with a click of finality, and suddenly new energy floods your system.
- Stop fucking moving - Cooper grounds down on his teeth, as you attempt to free yourself from both his grip, and the lasso's.
Images of Benny, bloodied and dead, flash through your mind, and despite your lack of any sympathy towards the man, you don't want to see it. So, you start to move again, violently shaking under the Ghoul, forcing the lasso to slide from your body. Your hips jerk from the ground, bucking into him like a wild animal, and somewhere behind your ear, you can hear him suck in a sharp breath. Which you have no time to dwell upon. Your tongue fights against the fabric of your robe, and after a second you're able to spit it out.
- Don't shoot him - you plead feverishly, hands gripping the Ghoul's forearm - I'll talk to him, he'll leave. Just don't shoot him, please.
Cooper looks down at you, his eyes hard on your face, as he watches out for any signs of deceit. Then, he presses his lips into a thin line.
- Make it quick, or I'll pop his head clean off his shoulders. - southern accent floods every syllable, and were you not fighting to save a life (again), you would've blushed.
- Yes, thank you. I'll be quick. Thank you. - words spill out of you like a broken faucet, whispered into the space between your bodies, as the bounty hunter tugs off the loop of his lasso.
You take a moment to steady yourself, as he drags you up with him, hand twisted into the front of your shirt. Still a little stunned, you allow him to manoeuvre you, turning your body in his grasp, until your back is pressed flush against his front.
Strong arm sneaks over your shoulders, hand clasping around the column of your throat, while the other one waits just outside of your vision. The barrel of the gun rests between your shoulder and your neck, and the coolness of the metal causes a myriad of goosebumps to erupt across your skin.
- I'm here Benny - you call out, praying to anything that would listen, that your plan would work - Come out, slowly.
To his credit, Benny has always been quite good at following directions. There weren't many attributes about him either way, a bit dim in the head, a bit too heroic.
And definitely a bit too quick to pull out a gun.
Which is what he does as soon as he sees your peculiar situation. The Ghoul drums his fingers against your pulse point, and Benny approaches, a simple shotgun in front of him.
- What the hell...?
- Benny, I need you to listen to me - your voice sounds way too panicked, and you swallow hard to fake some illusion of control over this situation - I need you to turn around, and leave.
- But, there's a Ghoul with a gun behind you, Healer.
You nearly jump out of your skin, when you feel the hot breath of your unwanted companion on the back of your neck. You can almost imagine his chapped lips, so close to your skin.
- Time's a tickin', sweetheart - he whispers, and your blood runs cold in your veins.
- He's a - you swallow, mouth going dry in an instant - He's my friend. Who's getting very anxious with the trigger, Benny, so please, just go home.
Deep down inside you know there is no scenario, where the farmer leaves alive. He signed his death warrant the moment he stepped out of the shadows, yet for some unknown reason, that just makes you fight against the odds harder. Call it dumb optimism, perhaps you're possessed by your mother's spirit. Or perhaps the chems have finally scrambled your brains for good.
- He's not looking very friendly - Benny's gun sways slightly, as he tries to keep it raised, muscles evidently straining against the weight - He's the guy that shot Pete.
Oh for fucks sake, your whole body starts shaking at this point, heart thrumming in your chest like a moth batting against a lampshade. You can feel the Ghoul smirk against the skin of your shoulder, and tears prick at the corners of your eyes. His thumb presses slightly into your pulse, feeling it run rampant against his finger.
- Please - somehow you hope the desperation in your voice will be enough - Please, leave. Benny, please.
Benny looks between you and the Ghoul peaking over your trembling form. You can see his brain working overtime, scrunched eyebrows, smacking of the lips. You're only praying it's working in the right direction. Then, some idea flashes across his expression, and you know in the hollow of your stomach, that this is his end.
- If I save you, will you marry me? - he asks, looking at you with the utmost hopeful expression.
- ...what?
Confusion doesn't even fully register in your mind, as the deafening sound of a gun being fired nearly blows up your eardrums. At first you're not sure, what you're looking at. Where there used to be Benny, now there's a carcass, mangled and bloody. It's hard to figure out, where individual parts of his body are, some bones sticking out from the chunky mush. A spray of red falls onto your face like a morning mist, and the scent of iron and gunpowder is stunning your senses.
You can't move. Eyes glued to what once used to Benny, you don't even notice, as the Ghoul removes himself from you, placing the lasso over your head and around your body. The loop is secured tightly, and the bounty hunter tugs on it a couple of times, just to test its durability. Then, lazily, he picks up your messenger bag, swinging it over his shoulder.
- The first time he came to me for help, he tried to domesticate a rad roach - you mutter absentmindedly, not caring if your unwanted companion is hearing you - Wanted it to help with the farm work. I had to stitch half his left side.
- Stupid life deserves a stupid death.
- You're a fucking monster - you spit out, the feeling of Benny's blood on your lips almost making you gag.
Apparently, the Ghoul takes offense to that, because almost instantly, he's in front of you, his hand gripping your throat, and pushing you hard against the metal plating of the destroyed plane. Stars erupt behind your eyelids, as your head knocks hard into the wall, pain barely registering under the confusion.
- I have been more than accommodating to you, little princess - the Ghoul snarls in your direction, but all you can focus on, is his other hand, grabbing your bruised chin - I've entertained your little medical escapade, I let you negotiate with that dimwit over there.
The warmth of his body suffocates you stronger than any hand around your throat. You can't decide on the color of his eyes, as they seem to shift between amber and green, and completely black. Your mouth opens just a smidge, as you try to defend yourself in any way, but before you can speak, the Ghoul shoves two gloved fingers into your mouth, silencing you in an instant.
- I could be so much worse, darlin', and I don't think you would like that - his voice lowers itself barely above a whisper, and he watches your expression shift under his grip.
You can't help it, really, the way your body reacts to this rough manhandling. It's not like you could predict being pinned to a wall by a stranger would make your thighs press together. Cooper looks down. He smiles like a cat, that's just found the fattest of mice, when his eyes drag back up to your face.
- Or perhaps you would - his knee presses against the middle of your thighs, just short of forcing them apart, and you gasp around his fingers.
As if nothing has happened, he pulls away, so suddenly, you nearly fall over. His gloved hand glistens with your saliva, and gracefully, he wipes it clean on your shirt. Blushed, panting, and very angry at this turn of events, you stare daggers at him, as he tugs at the lasso, forcing you to start moving.
- What is your name? - you demand, blood running hot and defiant in your veins.
Cooper stares for just a moment too long. The way you seem to bristle in rage, even though that farmer truly was stupid, and you know it too. He likes the way your eyes harden, the way your jaw sets, when you realize this is no longer fun and games. When you recognize, how dangerous he can be, how mean and ruthless. He'd be a fool not to admit it, it makes him feel powerful, revered.
And the undertone of humiliation running through the length of your spine is just such a delicious addition. Almost better than chems. Almost more addicting.
Lips tugging back into a nasty smirk, he appraises you with his gaze, surprised when your resolve seems to harden even more.
- You, Healer - your title sounds wrong coming from his thin lips, worse than any other time you've heard it - Can call me "sir".
Something akin to disgust runs through your expression, and you turn away with a grumble.
- Fat fucking chance.
#my writing#cooper howard smut#cooper howard x you#cooper howard x reader#fallout x reader#fallout tv series#fallout smut#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul smut#if yall see any typos no you dont ill edit it in the morning i just gotta post it before i go insane#i am slightly taking inspiration from a little ship ive been shiping since highschool but i want tell yall which one#you gotta guess#its from superwholock is all im gonna say which is just... who am i#anyways good night this cowboy is retiring
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Stenography 101
My court reporting professor is actually very amazing. All of my classes are live, over Zoom, so I’ve not actually met her - or any of my classmates, even though three of them live in town and three of us have a text group - but the impact of her amazing support and personality has been very obvious on us, as a class. We have a group chat on WhatsApp where 20+ of us commiserate over every new concept in the theory we’re learning.
That said, she experienced a terrible loss last week and canceled one class but promised to be back the next day. (We meet three times a week.) Her returning so soon after is, of course, an absurd thought but I understand that people just want to maintain some sort of normalcy while grieving.
But as we all saw this notification over Canvas, and felt the impact of her news almost at once, my class hustled, collected donations, and sent this woman a giant flower arrangement with all of the add-ons we could find and afford. There was money left over from later donations for a second gift basket with care items, like gift cards for food delivery, so she wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to eat.
I offered to draw the card for that and already had this image in my mind. Took a photo of my machine and outlined it, then dove in to drawing these flowers from a reference bouquet. Which, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever done before and wasn’t sure I could actually do.
(And y’all now that realistic stuff isn’t really my thing. But every now and then I have the patience for detail.)
I should say that I was greatly inspired by our professor fully committing to joining our class the day after her loss. Tears and all. She’d received her flowers and thanked us all, then wiped her eyes and moved forward with dictations for our final quiz of the semester.
This is just a drawing that I didn’t want to add words to, but I hope it brings some additional comfort and I hope she sees that it’s meant to relay our gratitude to her dedication to our success.
Court reporting schools and programs have something hovering around a 95% fail rate. I am only in my first semester of theory but we will have the same professor for all three theory semesters. Then off to speed building (the hounds), up to 225 wpm, where most people tend to give up.
I love the machine and learning a very detailed, even if a bit stroke intensive, theory that makes sense to my puzzle-loving brain, but at some point in the future, I know we will all just be hanging on for dear life.
Til then, I will be sprinkling this new love of mine into my little collection of sporadic thoughts here.
#dickens draws#dickens writes#stenography#court reporting#I have three years left of 911 dispatch before I can early retire at 43#and ima be goooone baby#I have a TikTok for court reporting stuff since that’s just where all the court reporters seem to be#if you want to follow me and see my face and hear my voice (why) it’s @911to225#Tumblr refuses to link to TikTok so I guess they’re beefing#I also abandoned Twitter but didn’t delete it#also also I won’t be doing the gift exchange this year because I still owe my person from last year and I’ll be working on that instead#I know I’m a terrible bering and wells fan these days but life is lifing hard#and I’m just trying to retire and be a rich traveling court reporter#side note somebody please go save Jaime from herself why is she in the Amazon bothering those people
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a weird little poem i wrote for the new year :)
[transcript: Oh God. Hand me the champagne, / I think it’s finally happening. Ladies and gentlemen, / it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, where / I realize it’s all bullshit: everyone knows / when you say my new year’s resolution is to / work out more you really mean that your sadness / has become a beast too big to wrangle with / your own two hands; when you say there won’t be / any more clothes on my bedroom floor / there’s always the unspoken caveat that / you would be perfectly happy if those / clothes belonged to someone else. Oh God. / Hand me the champagne—no, scratch that, let’s celebrate—hold my hand, dance with me— / because I have found yet another reason to live. / I have found yet another copy of the same / poem to scream about living, living, living, / as if my body is my soapbox, my pulpit, as if to say come one, come all, we made it nowhere / again, cue the Springsteen, ‘cause baby, / we were born to run. Oh God. / Hand me the champagne, I think I’ve lost / my mind. When the clock strikes midnight / I promise I’ll become a new person entirely, / erased and redrawn in new colors. I’ll prove everyone wrong about me, even myself. I’ll lie down and / let the water decide. Oh God. Hand me the champagne, it’s all too much. And I know you can’t stay but / I need someone to kiss me now, right here / on the sidewalk before the sun comes up, / while you’re still beautiful and backlit / in silver. When was the last time you saw / a moon this bright, anyway? It’s almost / enough to make you believe someone’s / up there looking out for us. Almost enough / to make you trust the universe again. And now, / at long last, my bullet-train brain has meandered / along to the point, which is, of course: here’s to / another year of being ordinary, of having coffee / and napping and sitting around each other’s houses / doing nothing. So long and thanks for all the fish— / I trust that this year, if nothing else, / you will keep on walking / towards the light at the end of the hall.]
#hi . no taglist on this one bc i am lazy#also this is the first thing i’ve written in months. happy to be un retired from poetry i guess#writing#my writing#poetry#poem#words#also i forgot the correct format for transcript someone correct me if it’s inaccessible LMAO
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.
#sa mention#proship#fandom discourse#fiction is the closest i can feel to normal cos my severe ptsd irl makes me violent if strangers so much as brush up against me#we all handle it differently and yes i write utterly fucked up shit to desensitize myself & somehow managed to stabilized through the years#despite me still having my snappy “scary” moments if people touch me without permission and i punched a dude for standing too close to my#back. he was literally smelling me and i lost my shit and now im banned from that walgreens but meh#now im unloading in the tags but if you're an anti sincerely gfy cos y'all literally attack sa victims on here like its your day job#y'all also don't know the first thing about psychology cos guess who's a psychologist here??? yes this unhinged bitch that covers up like a#gothic church mommy and cusses like a trucker is an actual professional in the field. i studied thinking studying psychology would make me#cope better... it somewhat did help but i should have just gone to a therapist rather than bottling in a going to a freaking university#yes i troll and say fucked up shit on here. this is a social media for my fandom shit so i aint gonna act like the doc i was ages ago and#fiction actually can help some people (especially those like me who are still having violent ptsd eps affecting them) little by little#retake their lives back#there's other forms of therapy but not everything works for everyone and its ridiculous to put all victims under the same umbrella#and its condescending and ignorant af to expect all sa victims to be your perfect little victims of convenience and treat us like crap cos#not all of us fit your toxic narrative of attacking freaking fake people in a nonexistent fictional world.#i have friends that are sa victims that can't handle it in fiction but they know thats my mechanism. since im a now retired professional#i have done everything i can to help them cos yes there's multiple ways to help victims cope with this. even regression exercises help#but that's another thing#and it involves multiple sessions. i no longer practice but can teach people some techniques to regulate their emotions in high stress#situations cos the aftermath of sa is brutal regardless of how you cope with it#you'll need a support group to catch you when you can't handle it sometimes. you're not alone or broken. pls know this
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Now that I'm a fanfic writer, I can't help but wonder what kinds of narrative themes I must've been missing all these years of reading fanfics because I sure as hell know I can't write a fic without somehow stumbling across a theme and running with it
#simu's two cents#inspired by the fact that I'm writing the superlantern arranged marraige au rn and I just realized that the central theme is consent.#i literally went ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh out loud. like a cartoon character.#that makes so much goddamn sense because it's an *arranged* marriaged and more than a little forced on each end too#so of COURSE consent is going to be the main theme of that trope. it's literally right there. the main point is figuring out consent#and ofc hal jordan: the guy who made superman cry thrice's theme is agency of the victim vs. safety#i use theme in the loosest sense. this post would make my ap lit teacher roll in her grave (she's still alive. just retired)#the main theme of american alien and the man born without fear is obviously being 'othered' and how different ppl react to that#embarcation is so on the nose and up front about the themes i don't even think i have to explain#for nice logical fallacy i guess it's internalized transphobia and toxic masculinity?#and then is somebody gonna match my freak (out)? was kinda just from a dream but is also abt consent?#and ofc this is kinda reductive like there's more than one thematic through-line in each of these fics and there's overlap too#but yeah.
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, Dreamer Trilogy - Maggie Stiefvater Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish Characters: Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III, Orphan Girl | Opal, Blue Sargent, Henry Cheng Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Fire Lookout and Forest Ranger Love Story, Excessive descriptions of national parks, author went to Montana once and thinks they're an expert, research based on fire lookout tiktok, author hasn't read the books in 5000 years so if this is out of character...well...too bad, stereotypical mental breakdown in the middle of a thunderstorm, take a shot every time you see the word "caravan", trees block view and there are too many gray rocks...1 star Summary:
It’s a momentary lapse of emotional regulation, if one is generous. An absolute fucking meltdown, if one is honest.
When Adam comes back into his body, he’s lying on his bed, empty styrofoam staining his duvet with red chili oil, blank-eyed scrolling through his LinkedIn feed of job openings at Harley-Davidson for motorcycle engineers. He doesn’t want to work for Harley; he’s got brand loyalty to Honda. Also, being a mechanic again would be backsliding, and he is absolutely, most certainly, not backsliding.
No, he just needs a sabbatical. A break from reality. Something temporary. Remote. Far from Virginia.
Then he sees it: "Fire lookout."
#trc#tdt#pynch fic#fanfic#adam parrish#ronan lynch#my writing#i have not written fic in 84 years so don’t know where this came from#honestly thought i was retired from pynch fic#but i guess if the muse calls you listen
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could be controversial but the only big change i'd be interested in is if he just Ran away 'successfully' instead of turning himself in. It would for sure not be a happy one but I'd love to see what happens to him. I like seeing what happens to is brain I poke at it.
#be it alone or with whoever id just love to see what happens. my confession! its true!#I guess i could try my hand at it but ive retired from writing... yes yes... i dont want to write fanfiction really.#hed only happily run away with meee :)#floyd.txt#it would have to be handled Well ultimately because it could easily suck. like would he eventually cave in. curious.
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i think my writing has gotten worse actually
#in reference to drayton#idk man i just feel like my characterization for him peaked when we were doing indigo disk stuff. which makes sense i guess#like i was looking back on those posts and like. even tho strictly grammar they were worse my actual character writing was way better#not to say i’m planning on retiring him or pulling him from the bbaverse or nothing like that#it’s just. i wanna recapture what i had back then and i don’t know how#idk i feel like bbaverse itself was kinda peak back then. since then people have either jumped ship or just pulled from our verse#which is valid ofc i just kinda. miss what we had y’know#but like i think the rotumblr community as a whole has taken a serious nose dive so. i dunno man#like i said i’m not planning on quitting any time soon it’s just been rough#shut up momo#vent? ish?
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if u wrote an ash pegging fic i would NOT complain <3
i might even be excited abt it
Future Jess commenting on said fic:
#😁😁#a Jess endorsement is already huge but a Jess endorsement before a fic has even been written?!#how did i get so lucky 🤩 I'm just a silly lil guy writing silly lil stories 🥺#yk at some point i think i declared i would not retire from writing until I published two specific things#and one of those was an Ash pegging fic#so#i guess i gotta work on my comeback#my work here is not finished 😅#ask#daydadahlias#kh4f writing
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Problems with leather beyond ‘it kills animals’:
- the chemicals in the tanning process. They are nasty. And often just end up dumped in the water.
- air pollution due to the transformation process (hydrogen sulfide during dehairing and ammonia during deliming, solvent vapours).’
- worker conditions.
But that stuff doesn’t count, I guess.
‘But every part of the animal gets used!’ Nu-uh. That’s very much company specific. If you’re not looking into how *they* source their leather then you don’t get to make claims about how much of the rest of the animal is used. (Also, like ‘it’s okay to use this bit of an oil derived product because other parts of the oil also got used!’ is that a good argument?) and hey, don’t forget we need to factor shipping for both industries, too - where is it being made, where is it sent to be turned into the final product, where is that product being shipped?. And we need to factor in everything used in the entire lifecycle of the animals. Every problem with the meat industry has to be accounted for in this calculation, too. Every part - every single step of production - of both industries needs to be assessed.
Like whatever, have your silly arguments about why you hate vegan alternatives, but don’t pretend that leather production isn’t also profoundly bad for the environment and for the people who work in the industry. Honestly reading the notes half of it just seems like apologism for people who wanna pretending the only problem is big oil and if you’re not sitting there ranting about oil companies being bad then what are you even doing as activism?
This conversation requires nuance.
It is not a black and white issue.
Like, it’s just not ‘vegan alternatives always environmentally better!’ Or ‘leather always better!’ It’s complicated shit. The best anyone can do is research individual companies (and wow is that difficult and time consuming).
"Vegan Leather"
Plastic. just say plastic.
#I know someone who is genuinely spending his RETIREMENT writing an article defending big oil companies because he is a soulless man I guess#(I.e. spend his life working for an oil company and is now looking for ways to morally justify his complicity)#but seriously#this is stupid#leather production is bad#so is overuse of plastics!#and other fabrics derived from oil.#like… say polyester#and ‘I’m vegetarian but wear leather because it’s okay someone else will eat the meat’#cool just say that about different cuts of meat#it’s okay the animal got killed someone else will eat the trotters so I can eat this cutlet guilt free!#all of these arguments are stupid#everything here is stupid#‘I only have to account for the carbon footprint of the single animal that was killed for this bit of leather’#’but THOSE people have to account for the entire industry! HAH! checkmate!’#better solution than this bullshit: just consume less.#like Jfc where do you think the leather is made?#you think most of the people working in tanneries are well payed an well protected?#trying to figure out what is the best thing to do is HARD#^ this shit? absolutely not helpful#reductive bullshit#if you have leather than look the fuck after it so it can last as long as possible#pass it on or hand it down or whatever#like of course if you have it keep it throwing it away would be ludicrous#but… and hear me out here#neither of these products are actually essential to the lives of the vast majority of people
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Im contemplating separating my writing and art into different blogs and changing my depressed-sock username to something else...
#uggggghhhhh#my brains in over thinking everything as i die in this heat mode#id probably just make a new blog specifically for art because i want to try to do something more with it#and i dont know id like at least a degree of separation from my fan writing#because i guess that's something to be embarrassed about nowadays lmao#or maybe i should just nuke my writing and put it on a different blog#it's all on a03 anyway#ignore me#personal#talking to myself#depressed-sock im actually ready to retire in general though lol
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ok well I'm incompetent or tumblr is. tried doing this in the tags and messed it up so I'll just go for it bc literally losing sleep thinking about this post
I keep thinking about it and I like the idea that dash DOESNT know danny is half ghost/The Phantom (and since Danny is "retired" why would he find out unless told) just realized the Fentons were fighting real life ghosts / real life dangers
and maybe as he got older developed an ex-bully complex where he wants to make up for it / wants to help and protect people, esp kids
so when he overhears danny and jazz planning on going to Gotham, no hero business but wanting to help in small ways (like as a teacher), dash is just like "yeah, good idea. I'll go and teach scrawny teens how to defend themselves."
(plus growing up in amity they're all probably adrenaline junkies and need some kind of terror going on nearby to feel Normal)
and ok that addition about danny having scars visible under his t-shirt? that was Good.
and jason figuring out danny was an ex hero? that was also very good.
but I raise you: one of them asking danny all sorts of questions to figure out why he quit being a hero even after red huntresses warning like "was it too hard? getting those scars too painful? whatever whatever is that the reason you gave up the fight?"
and eldritch ghost king danny replies with a smile "give up? I didn't give up. I won."
Short DPXDC Prompts #468
Danny is a Chemistry teacher at Gotham Academy. His favorite student is Tim. He shocks the students by teaching and creating a Fear Antitoxin for the kids to learn as part of their curriculum.
#sorry I actually reformed My territories#and now he's here to sort out Your problems#bc even retired he's Gotta Help#and arming the masses? yeah that'll do#AND keep jazz off his back#mostly#sorry if my tags get all messed up again lol think of it like a game to unscramble all this i guess#literally created an entire side blog bc of this post#but also ended a Years long hiatus from writing so thank you but also this is all your fault#unfortunately there is more coming bc I cannot be stopped haha#hope this post finds you all well#dc x dp#danny phantom#edit: ADDITIONALLY and yeah gotham is objectively worse than amity but the Ghost Zone? fight me#dpxdc
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How I met your Father. | Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Themes: Getting noticed by your crush. Pining from Reader.
Summary: You work at the cafe Bucky always goes to and you've had a crush on him for MONTHS.
A/N: Conntected with How's Retirement, Bucky? and Ouch, my face.
The bell above the door jingles as the early morning rush dwindles down, leaving only the occasional customer trickling in. You’re wiping down the counter, lost in thought, when your coworker, Emma, elbows you hard enough to make you stumble.
“Ow, what—” You shoot her a glare, but her eyes are wide, and she nods her head toward the door with a smirk.
“Guess who just walked in,” she whispers conspiratorially, her grin widening. “Mr. Grumpy Pants himself.”
Your heart does an involuntary flip, and your eyes dart to the entrance. Sure enough, there he is, all dark and brooding with that permanent scowl on his face. Bucky Barnes, the man who you’ve secretly—and very stupidly—had a crush on for the past three months.
“Oh my God, stop calling him that,” you hiss, but your voice is a pitch too high, giving you away instantly. You try to ignore the fact that your cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
Emma just chuckles and nudges you again, her voice teasing. “Come on, Y/N, everyone knows you’ve got it bad for him. You literally beam like a sunflower whenever he’s around.”
Another coworker, Lily, pokes her head out from behind the espresso machine and joins in. “Yeah, it’s like you’re part of some weird ‘grumpy guy fan club’ or something. He never even smiles, and you’re over here trying to win him over with puns and pastries.”
“Y’all are the worst,” you mutter, willing yourself to calm down. “And it’s not a fan club. It’s called being friendly.”
“Uh-huh, sure,” Emma drawls, winking. “Being friendly. That’s why you spend extra time drawing hearts in his latte foam.”
“I do not!” You glare at her, scandalized. “He doesn’t even order lattes!”
“Okay, but if he did,” she teases, “you’d find a way.”
“Shut up, he’s coming over,” you say under your breath, hurriedly pushing Emma and Lily away as you straighten up, forcing yourself to look composed and nonchalant.
Bucky walks up to the counter, his usual stoic expression firmly in place. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment, but not much more.
“Morning,” he grumbles.
“Good morning!” you chirp, and damn it, there’s that stupid sunflower smile on your face again. You catch Emma and Lily exchanging knowing looks behind the counter and pointedly ignore them. “Usual today?”
“Yeah, iced americano,” he replies, his voice that familiar low rumble.
You ring him up, trying to suppress the fluttery feeling in your chest. As you grab a cup and scribble his name on it (which you definitely didn’t write just a little fancier than everyone else’s), you decide to take a chance. You shoot him a playful look.
“Hey, did you hear about the coffee that got arrested?”
He blinks at you, his brows furrowing slightly. “No. Why?”
“It got mugged,” you say brightly, giving the punchline your best delivery, complete with a little ta-da gesture.
Silence. Bucky just stares at you, his expression unreadable. It’s like talking to a statue. You can practically feel Emma and Lily holding their breaths, waiting for his reaction.
“...Right,” he mutters finally, nodding slowly. “Mugged.”
You wilt a little but keep your smile plastered on. “Tough crowd, huh?”
“Yeah,” he replies, and for a second—just a split second—you think you see a flicker of something in his eyes, like amusement. Or maybe you’re imagining things.
You finish making his coffee, and as you hand it to him, Emma stage-whispers from behind the counter. “Come on, Mr. Barnes! Give her a break. She’s been working on those jokes all week.”
“Emma!” you hiss, mortified. Your eyes dart to Bucky’s, your heart hammering.
But instead of looking annoyed, he tilts his head, regarding you with a sort of curious intensity. “All week, huh?”
“Uh, yeah,” you admit sheepishly, clutching the edge of the counter. “I mean, not just for you or anything—”
“Yes, just for you,” Emma interjects, grinning wickedly. Lily nods enthusiastically, her eyes wide and teasing.
You shoot them both a murderous glare, and Bucky’s gaze flickers between the three of you. Then, to your complete and utter shock, he makes a sound. It’s barely audible—more of a huff than a laugh—but you catch it. Your eyes widen.
“Did you—” You lean forward, grinning uncontrollably. “Did you just laugh?”
“No.” He denies it immediately, shaking his head, but his lips twitch like he’s fighting off a smile.
“You did!” You point at him accusingly. “I heard it!”
“Keep dreaming, Y/N,” he mutters, but there’s something softer in his tone now. He glances down at his coffee cup, where your careful handwriting spells out ‘Bucky :)’ with a little smiley face beside it, it’s almost mocking his stubborn scowl.
He sighs—one of those heavy, put-upon sighs that he’s so good at—and looks back at you. “You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.”
“You have no idea,” you say with a grin. “And one of these days, I’m gonna make you smile for real. Just you wait.”
“Uh-huh.” He nods, raising an eyebrow as if to say I’d like to see you try. “Good luck.”
With that, he turns to leave, but just as he’s about to reach the door, he pauses. You’re still watching him, breathless and grinning like an idiot. He glances around the café, his eyes flicking to the stereo speakers mounted on the walls.
You follow his gaze, and that’s when you hear it: the soft, melodic intro to Sunflower by Post Malone. The lyrics drift through the air, the singer crooning about being left in the dust, a sunflower, and you feel a pang of embarrassment. Of course this song would start playing now.
Bucky’s gaze shifts back to you, and something changes in his expression. He looks at you—really looks at you—as if he’s putting together a puzzle that’s been right in front of him this whole time.
“See you tomorrow, sunflower,” he says, his voice lower, gentler.
You freeze, sure you’ve misheard him. “Wait—what?”
But he just smirks—smirks, like he knows something you don’t—and nods at the speakers. “You beam like one of those. Didn’t even need the song to tell me.”
He turns away, and you’re left standing there, staring at his retreating back as the door swings shut behind him. The café falls silent except for the soft chorus of the song. Emma and Lily stare at you, jaws practically on the floor.
“Did he just—”
“Yeah,” you breathe, still staring at the door. “He called me sunflower.”
Emma lets out a whoop, and Lily clutches her heart dramatically.
“Oh my God, Y/N, he’s so into you,” Emma squeals. “You broke Mr. Grumpy Pants! You did it!”
———
The door swings shut behind him, he makes it a few steps down the sidewalk before he slows to a stop, his coffee cup in his hand. He glances back over his shoulder, through the glass windows, where you’re still standing behind the counter, wide-eyed and speechless.
For a moment, he just stands there, watching you laugh as your coworkers swarm around, teasing you. You’re always like that—smiling, bright, never wavering in your ridiculous attempts to make him laugh. Even when he gives you nothing but deadpan responses and stony glares.
“Sunflower,” he murmurs under his breath, shaking his head. The word tastes strange on his tongue—soft, unfamiliar—but not unpleasant. He lets out a slow breath, and before he can stop himself, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
“Damn,” he mutters to himself, turning away before anyone can catch him grinning like an idiot. “Persistent little thing.”
He takes another step, his smile growing. Maybe tomorrow, he’ll linger a little longer. See what other terrible jokes you’ve got up your sleeve.
After all, it’s not like he’s in a rush to go anywhere else.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes x f!reader#winter solider x reader#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x y/n#james bucky barnes#james barnes x y/n#james barnes x reader#james barnes#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan characters#sebastian stan x reader
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our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom (teaser)
genre: poly hockey team!ateez x coach fem!reader, enemies/strangers to lovers, athlete!au, slow burn, fluff, angst
length: 1.0k (teaser) + approx. 38k (full fic)
c/w: sweaty ateez (warning well deserved), lots of hurt/comfort, one of the slowest slow burns to slow burn, remaining tags to be revealed with full fic
synopsis: you become the new coach of the elite men's ice hockey team, the red devils. but with both yourself and the team carrying burdens of the past, you all find it difficult to see eye to eye. as you lead them to the championships in the korean ice hockey league, you discover that teamwork and trust is not as straightforward as it seems.
a/n: when i started writing this i really thought it wouldn't exceed 25k but here we are :D full fic will be released in about a week and i am so ready
“she’s the new coach?” yunho frowns in confusion. “no offence, but we’re not a bunch of kids for her to practise being a soccer mum to.”
“she was the assistant coach for the grey eagles,” coach cho discloses.
“the grey eagles? the under-21 men’s championship team?” yeosang looks incredulous.
mingi sceptically comments, “the fact that we’ve never seen or heard of her before probably tells us enough.”
hongjoong’s lips purse sourly as he tries his hardest to analyse the situation with the professionalism of the team’s captain. but with the sudden change in coaches and the same critiquing doubts as mingi, hongjoong cannot help but feel his personal judgement webbing over his mind. over the team’s entire career as an elite ice hockey team thus far–five years, now well into their sixth–the red devils have only ever had two coaches. coach cho has been with them for the longest and whilst it took the team a while to eventually warm up to him, he has been with them for almost quadruple the amount of time it took to trust him.
the team’s alternate captain, seonghwa, speaks to you directly, “if you don’t mind me asking, why are you not playing as an athlete yourself? you’re clearly our age–nowhere near retiring.”
you knew from the very start that your age would make your credibility as a coach much lower, and your answer to seonghwa will not help your case either. “i stopped playing.”
“how come?”
the trigger of memories fills your nose with a sharp stinging smell. you blankly reveal, “i chose to stop playing.” you know exactly how it sounds like to somebody else, even more so to professional athletes. coach cho has also told you of the team’s hardheadedness and strong will when it comes to the passions of their career, so you are expecting the cold receptiveness that you are met with.
your response strikes the wrong chord within wooyoung. there was a point in his career not too long ago when the choice of continuing to play or not was at risk of becoming a forced decision. the way you answer so callously with those very words that had threatened to tear his world apart has his jaw grinding and eyes darkening, and he is not the only athlete in the arena who feels similarly.
“i would rather choose to die before i choose to stop playing. ice hockey is my entire life and without it, i am not living either,” hongjoong jabs and you cannot help but clench your fists because you know exactly what he means. still, you stay quiet as he continues, “sorry, but i can’t respect a ‘coach’ who chose to stop playing.”
at the captain’s words and subsequent move to leave for the changerooms, the rest of the team also gather their equipment and follow his steps. san’s feet falter in front of you, expression hesitant until he decides to voice, “our team needs a bit of time. it’s hard for us to warm up to…outsiders, and i know it might not mean much to say this but we have our reasons. don’t expect us to blindly trust you just because you’re a coach.”
the use of the word ‘outsider’ does not go unnoticed as you nod, “of course.”
san jogs off to rejoin the others and coach cho hums, “guess some things haven’t changed. they were just as prickly to me when i first became their coach.”
you raise an eyebrow, “prickly? to you?”
“yes, believe it or not,” he chuckles nostalgically. “we’ve come a long way because i’ve been their coach for years now. but it took me a while before i was able to break down their walls.”
you briefly mull over the information, then ask out of curiosity, “what would you have done if i didn’t sign the contract?”
“begged you to rethink your decision,” he jokes with a pleased chortle. “i would have to start looking for a different coach, i suppose. you were my only pick.”
“but why me, of all people? there are so many other experienced coaches that you can choose from.”
he looks at you, eyes glinting with intuition and confidence as he simply says, “you’re familiar with their playing style. they play just like you used to.” at your silent processing, coach cho probes, “why didn’t you tell them the real reason?”
you smile wistfully, “i didn't tell them because i’m not here to gain their pity.”
some of the boys’ voices grow louder as they emerge from the changerooms, changed into fresh clothes and their kit bags slung over their shoulders. you hear one of them ask, “captain, is she really going to be our new coach?”
they step out from the facility’s corridor and you accidentally make eye contact with hongjoong, yet neither of you look away. maintaining a steady gaze directly at you, he responds with a slight glower, “maybe, but she’s only the coach by title. i’m still the captain of the team, so let’s see who everyone listens to.”
as they exit the rink’s arena, you feel a fire of determination growing inside of you. you have won over your own demons and you have won the championships before–this is nothing in comparison. whether your next words are for coach cho or for yourself to hear, it does not matter.
“i may not play anymore but i was still once an athlete and no athlete has ever, in their career, wanted pity. i’m here to earn the team’s respect and i will win over them, especially their captain.”
you watch the swing of the glass door as it shuts behind the players, catching a brief glimpse of the trees lining the arena’s perimeter. it is the first day of autumn when you meet the red devils for the first time and outside, the leaves are beginning to change their colours.
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