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fairuzfan · 1 month

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19 October 2023: In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war

Horrific experiences of death and destruction have permanently impacted Palestinians’ culture, language and collective memory. “Is it war again?” asks my little Amal, 7, memories of the previous Israeli assaults still fresh in her mind.

The wording of the question shows the maturity she has been forced to develop. Last year, Amal asked her mum if it was “another war.”

Yes, it is war again in Gaza! In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war. War has become a recurrent reality, a nightmare that won’t go away. A brutal normality. War has become like a grumpy old relative, one that we can’t stand but can’t rid ourselves of either.

The children pay the heaviest price. A price of fear and nonstop trauma that is reflected in their behaviors and their reactions. It’s estimated that over 90 percent of Palestinian children in Gaza show signs of trauma. But also, specialists claim there is no post-war trauma in Gaza as the war is still ongoing.

My grandmother would tell me to put on a heavy sweater because it would rain. And it would rain! She, like all Palestinian elders, had a unique sense, an understanding of the earth, wind, trees and rain. The elders knew when to pick olives for pickling or for oil. I was always envious of that.

Sorry, Grandma. We have instead become attuned to the vagaries of war. This heavy guest visits us uninvited, unwelcomed and undesired, perches on our chests and breaths, and then claims the lives of many, in the hundreds and thousands.

A Palestinian in Gaza born in 2008 has witnessed seven wars: 2008–2009, 2012, 2014, 2021, 2022, 2023A and 2023B. And as the habit goes in Gaza, people can be seven wars old, or four wars old. My little Amal, born in 2016, now holds a BA in wars, having lived through four destructive campaigns. In Gaza, we often speak about wars in terms of academic degrees: a BA in wars, an MA in wars, and some might humorously refer to themselves as PhD candidates in wars.

Our discourse has significantly changed and shifted. At night, when Israel particularly intensifies the bombardment, it’s a “party”: “The party has begun.” “It will be a horrific party tonight.” And then there is “The Bag,” capital T and capital B. This is a bag that is hurriedly prepared to contain the cash, the IDs, the birth certificates and college diplomas. The aim is to grab the kids and one item when there is a threat of evacuation.

The collective memories and culture of Palestinians in Gaza have been substantially impacted by these horrific experiences of war and death. Most Gazans have lost family members, relatives, or loved ones or have had their homes damaged or destroyed. It’s estimated that these wars and the escalations between them have claimed the lives of over 9,000 (it was 7,500 when I started drafting this last week!) Palestinians and destroyed over 60,000 housing units.

Death and war. War and Death. These two are persona non grata, yet we can’t force them to leave. To let us be.

Palestinian poet Tamim Al-Barghouti summarizes the relationship between death and the Palestinians that war brings (my translation):

It was not wise of you, Death, to draw near.

It was not wise to besiege us all these years.

It was not wise to dwell this close,

So close we’ve memorized your visage

Your eating habits

Your time of rest

Your mood swings

Your heart’s desires

Even your frailties.

O, Death, beware!

Don’t rest that you tallied us.

We are many.

And we are still here

[Seventy] years after the invasion

Our torches are still alight

Two centuries

After Jesus went to his third grade in our land

We have known you, Death, too well.

O, Death, our intent is clear:

We will beat you,

Even if they slay us, one and all.

Death, fear us,

For here we are, unafraid.

23 October 2023: Five stages of coping with war in Gaza

Our familiarity with war in Gaza has led us to develop a unique perspective and unique coping mechanisms.

We can identify five major emotional stages that Gazans go through during these grim conflicts. The stages are denial, fear, silence, numbness, hope, despair and submission.

This is day 16 and Israel has killed more than 5,000 Palestinians (many are still unaccounted for under the rubble), including over 2,000 Palestinian children, Gaza authorities tell us. More than 15,000 were injured and over 25,000 Palestinian homes were destroyed. And Israel says it is ready for ground invasion.

Stage one: Denial

In the early stages of a crisis, there is often a sense of denial. We convince ourselves that this time won’t lead to war. People are tired of the recurring conflicts, and both sides may appear too preoccupied to engage in warfare. As missiles fall and soar, we maintain a form of partial denial, hoping that this time will not be as lengthy or devastating as past wars.

No, this time it’s not going to be war. Everyone is tired of wars. Israel is too busy to go to war.

Palestinians are too exhausted and too battered to engage in a war. It could just last five days, give or take, we hope.

Stage two: Fear

Soon, denial turns to fear as the reality of another war sets in. Gaza is paralyzed as civilians, including children, are attacked by Israeli bombs. The pictures and videos of massacres, of homes obliterated with the families inside, of high rise buildings toppled like dominoes turn the denial into utter terror.

Every strike, especially at night, means all the children wake up crying and weep. As parents, we fear for our kids and we fear we can’t protect our loved ones.

Stage three: Silence and numbness

This is when Israel particularly intensifies the bombing of civilian homes. Stories are interrupted. Prayers are cut short. Meals are left uneaten. Showers are abandoned.

Therefore, amid the chaos and danger Israel brings, many in Gaza, especially children, withdraw into silence. They find solace in solitude as means of coping with the overwhelming emotion and uncertainty that surrounds them. Silence prevails.

Then numbness follows. As people attempt to protect themselves from the constant onslaught of distressing news, they grow indifferent. Because we could die anyway, no matter where we go. Emotional numbness sets in, as individuals attempt to detach from their emotions to survive.

Stage four: Hope

In the midst of despair, glimmers of hope may emerge. Even in the darkest moments, Gazans may hold onto the belief Israel might at least kill fewer people, bomb fewer places, and damage less. The most hopeful of us wish for a lasting ceasefire or an end to the siege or even the occupation. But this is merely hope. And hope is dangerous.

We hope that politicians will man up. We hitch our hope to the masses taking to the streets to reassure their politicians and warn they will be punished in future elections if they support Israeli aggression against Palestinians in Gaza.

Stage five: Despair and submission

Unfortunately, hope can often be fleeting, and many Gazans have experienced recurring cycles of despair. The repeated loss of life, homes and security lead to deep feelings of helplessness.

In the final stage, there is a sense of submission as Gazans accept the reality that they are unable to change the situation. That they are left alone. That the world has abandoned us. That Israel can kill and destroy at large with impunity. This is a stage marked by endurance, as Palestinians strive to adapt and persevere in the face of ongoing challenges.

These stages of war have become an unfortunate part of life in Gaza, shaping the resilience and perseverance of the Palestinian people in the face of unimaginable hardships imposed by the Israeli occupation.

27 October 2023: What it’s like when Israel bombs your building

I have six children. And so far we have survived seven major Israeli escalations, unscathed. We are an average family. My wife, Nusayba, is a housewife, I have two children in college and my youngest child, Amal, is 7. In Gaza, Amal is already four wars old.

We are an average family in Gaza, but we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction.

So far, since the early 1970s, I have lost 20 (and 15 last week) members of my extended family due to Israeli aggression.

In 2014, Israel destroyed our family home of seven flats, killing my brother Mohammed.

In 2014, Israel killed about 20 of my wife’s family including her brother, her sister, three of her sister’s kids, her grandfather and her cousin. And destroyed several of my in-laws’ homes.

Combined, my wife and I have lost over fifty 50 members to Israeli war and terror.

2023 war on Gaza

As the bombs fall and Israel targets sleeping families in their homes, parents are torn between several issues.

Should we leave? But go where, when Israel targets evacuees on their way and targets the areas they evacuate to?

Should we stay with relatives? Or should our relatives stay with us, whose home is relatively “safe?” We can never be sure. It’s been more than 75 years of brutal occupation – and over six major Israeli military onslaughts in the past 15 years – and we have so far failed to understand Israel’s brutality and mentality of death and destruction.

And then there is the fear of what to do if – when – we are bombed. We try to evade them. But how can you evade the bombs when Israel throws three or four or five consecutive bombs at the same home.

The big question Palestinian households debate is whether we should sleep in the same room so that when we die, we die together, or whether we should sleep in different rooms so some of us may survive.

The answer is always that we need to sleep in the living room together. If we die, we die together. No one has to deal with the heartbreak.

No food. No water. No electricity.

This 2023 war is different. Israel has intensified using hunger as a weapon. By completely besieging Gaza and cutting off the electricity and water supplies and not allowing aid or imports, Israel is not only putting Palestinians on a diet, but also starving them.

In my household, and we are a well-off family, my wife and I sat with the children and explained the situation to them, especially the little ones: “We need to ration. We need to eat and drink a quarter of what we usually consume. It’s not that we do not have money, but food is running out and we barely have water.”

And good luck explaining to your 7-year-old that she can’t have her two morning eggs and instead she will be having a quarter of a bomb! (Israel later bombed the eggs.)

As a parent, I feel desperate and helpless. I can’t provide the love and protection I am supposed to give my kids.

Instead of often telling my kids “I love you,” I have been repeating for the past two weeks:

“Kids, eat less. Kids, drink less.” And I imagine this being my last thing I say to them and it is devastating.

Israel bombs our building

If we had a little food last week, now we barely have any because Israel struck our home with two missiles while we were inside. And without prior warning!

My wife Nusayba had already instructed the kids to run if a bombing happened nearby. We never expected [our building] to be hit. And that was a golden piece of advice.

I was hosting four families of relatives in my flat. Most of them were kids and women.

We ran and ran. We carried the little ones and grabbed the small bags with our cash and important documents that Gazans keep at the door every time Israel wages a war.

We escaped with a miracle, with only bruises and tiny scratches. We checked and found everyone was fine. And then we walked to a nearby UN school shelter, which was in an inhuman condition. We crammed into small classrooms with other families.

With that, we lost our last sense of safety. We lost our water. We lost our food and the remaining eggs that Amal loves.

We are an average Palestinian family. But we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction. In Gaza, no one is safe. And no place is safe. Israel could kill all 2.3 million of us and the world would not bat an eye.

#palestine

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irafuwas · 1 year

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some thoughts on how lilia views love

I’ve been watching through the Stitch event and there’s a bit of dialogue Lilia says that unfortunately made me Think, so I wanted to gather my babblings here.

This post contains spoilers for: Book 7, Tsumsted Wonderland 2, Lost in the Book with Stitch, Spectral Soiree/Endless Halloween, and Tamashina Mina

After spending the day fighting off Gantu’s robots, scavenging for food, and exploring the island, the boys rest for a bit in an old cottage they found. Lilia wants to take the opportunity to spruce up the cottage and make it more resort-like while they’re enjoying this “vacation”, and Riddle and Jack are both surprised and a bit peeved to hear him say this.

Riddle: Don’t you want to find a way off this island as soon as possible, Lilia Senpai? Malleus Senpai, Silver, and Sebek… Everyone at Diasomnia must be worried sick about you right now. I should think you’d want to assuage their concerns a tad bit faster!

Lilia: …Thing is, I trust them.

Riddle: You trust them?

Lilia: Mm-hmm. Knowing them, no doubt they understand I’m safe and sound and having a good time right now. Malleus and the others know I’m not the type of guy who’d get in a pickle over something as trivial as this. And that’s because they know me very, very well – just like family!

(snipped)

Lilia: It’s truly wonderful having people in your life who trust you and wish the best for you - and for whom you do the same in return - no matter how far apart you may be.

When you take this dialogue and look at in isolation of this event, then it’s a wonderful thing to hear Lilia say. He trusts his boys and they trust him - because they’re family, and that’s what families do. It’s always great to hear the characters themselves acknowledge their strong bonds with each other, and I thought it was really cute how Stitch got so happy to hear Lilia talking about his Ohana.

But when you take what he said and consider the broader story of Twisted Wonderland (vignettes and events, included), and you consider other things he’s said and done in the past… This dialogue just hurts.

There’s been small moments here and there that made me think Lilia has kind of an unhealthy(?) or warped(?) view of love. I’m not sure what the best word for it is, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like people worrying over him, he doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness, and he really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak. Additionally, he seems to value himself very little – he doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger, or that people would be happy getting pictures of him, or that his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much. I’ll go ahead and put examples for each point so you all can understand better what I’m trying to say.

He doesn’t like people worrying about him

We can see this partly from the quote this whole post is based on, as well as from Book 7.

Based on his conversation with Riddle, Lilia’s way of thinking appears to be:

If someone trusts me -> that means they wouldn’t worry about me

As well as:

If someone worries about me -> that means they don’t trust me

But we do worry about the people we love and care about, don’t we? We worry about our spouses getting home safely from a business trip, and our kids making friends at school, and our friends acing the interview they’ve been practicing for because we love them, don’t we? And because we want the best for them. But it doesn’t seem like Lilia thinks the same way.

And to add onto this point, it’s very clear the boys do worry about Lilia a lot, contrary to what Lilia claims. Due to Lilia’s departure, Malleus brought a snowstorm to the island in his sadness, Silver considered dropping out of school and leaving with his father, only to end up breaking down and crying in front of their crown prince of all people, and Sebek used his one wish to make Lilia be healthy and have him stay with Silver forever. They were all worried terribly about him in their own ways, but it doesn’t seem like Lilia ever noticed (or maybe he did, and just didn’t want to bring it up for some reason. Who knows.)

At any rate, he also gets mad (well, more like tsundere lol) at Silver when the boy was on the verge of tears after Lilia took a nasty hit for him. (I know this exchange occurred with General Vanrouge, and he was quite the asshole back then, but he’s still retained that dislike for people worrying over him.)

Lilia: Oh, would you quit it with the sniveling. I drank the potion, didn’t I? I just to rest for a little bit, and then I’ll be good as new.

He doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness

He exhibits his distaste of sappiness in Book 7 and the Welcome to Tsumsted Wonderland 2 event. In the latter, when everyone is saying goodbye to their tsums, he mentions he doesn’t like the gloomy atmosphere. He wants goodbyes to be happy (and most likely, free of any emotional weight). The same can be said in Book 7, when he wholeheartedly agrees to the going away party the students wanted to put on for him, as well as when Silver mentions his father had wanted them all to send him off with a smile. I’m not sure if Lilia just doesn’t enjoy people getting serious with their emotions towards him, or if he doesn’t like seeing it in general. It gives me Macho Man (tm) vibes, kind of? Like, “don’t let people see you cry and feel sad because then you look weak” kind of thing but idk.

Lilia: Farewells are certainly sorrowful, but I hate leaving things on such a gloomy note. Let’s keep our chins up until the end. Tsum, your ability to surprise others was exceptional, and you made today so much fun. So long!

He really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak

There’s still a lot of loose ends to be resolved in Book 7, one of them being the full extent of Lilia’s motives for wanting to leave so suddenly. It does seem to be he’s telling the truth that his magic ran out early, since he couldn’t muster up enough strength to fight back against Malleus when he was about to Overblot, but we don’t know if the real reason for that is just because he “went a little to wild” in his youth, like he claimed, or if something else caused his magic to deplete so prematurely. But we did hear him reveal a little bit of his motives when he was talking to Floyd at the party.

Floyd was dismayed he never got a chance to fight Lilia, and he wished he could’ve seen Lilia go all out at least once. When he asks Lilia why he’s dropping out, Lilia says under his breathe that he didn’t want “them” to see him so weak.

Lilia (whispering to himself): …It’s because I didn’t want them to see me so feeble.

Regardless of why his magic ran out and why he wants to go the Land of Red Dragons of all places, we know part of the reason for his departure is because he doesn’t want Malleus and the others to see how far he’d fallen from his former military glory. (sidebar: I have a feeling he thought he’d be a burden on Silver and co. with him losing his magic, and he was trying to leave so quickly to escape his shame towards his rapid loss of strength and independence (I imagine since he’s a magical being who comes from a country that runs on magic, him losing his powers must feel very isolating and limiting, like he’s lost a lot of the control he used to have over his own life).)

He doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger

In Endless Halloween/Spectral Soiree, Lilia was surprised by how much Silver and the others had been worrying about him and Malleus when they disappeared. Interestingly, even though Lilia is the one that Silver was the most relieved to see (it’s hard to tell with the live 2d models, but it looked like he went up to hug? Lilia and Lilia slapped his hand away), Lilia later says “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about us.” (referring to himself and the others involved with the party shenanigans).

(I am aware they changed this line to “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about me” In TWST EN, but I’m just focusing on the JP version).

I just found it weird that even though Silver was very clearly worried about Lilia the most, Lilia kind of redirected Silver’s concern over from “Lilia” to “Lilia and everyone else”. Did it make him uncomfortable to hear Silver was that worried about him? I’m not sure, but it just stood out to me as being a little strange how he responded, and how surprised he was that his own son would get worried about him suddenly disappearing.

He didn’t think people would be happy getting pictures of him

At the end of Lilia’s Tamashina Mina vignette, Yuu stops by Diasomnia to give him some photos he’d taken of Lilia on their trip, and Sebek, Silver, and Malleus are delighted to see them, since it’s not often they get to see photos of Lilia. Lilia is surprised at how happy they are to receive those pictures of himself. But why wouldn’t they be happy? They love him and treasure him dearly, of course they’d be overjoyed to have pictures of him to remember him by. It’s like he thought they wouldn’t care about him that much, which is really bizarre, considering the whole “even if we’re not related by blood we’re still family” thing he told Malleus before.

Lilia: To think, you’d all be so delighted just to see some pictures of me. I never would’ve imagined you’d all react like this.

He didn’t think his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much

This relates back to what I mentioned in the first point, but there’s one scene that demonstrates this perfectly.

After Silver breaks down in front of Malleus, Malleus teleports both of them to Lilia’s going away party. All eyes should have been on Malleus with how strangely he was acting, but the first thing Lilia honed in on was that Silver had been crying. And not only that, but Lilia looked surprised that Silver had been crying. And why wouldn’t he cry? The one person who formed Silver’s entire world and sun and stars was about to leave him and go die all by himself on the other side of the planet. There is no reason Lilia should’ve been surprised at Silver’s tears, yet he was. And I gather that’s because he never thought the boy could ever possibly want to choose to stay by his side, to choose him over all the hopes and dreams he’d burdened on the poor child from the moment he could walk, to choose him over his real friends and his real family members.

I hope when Lilia “wakes up” from his dream, the first he does is ask Silver what he’d been crying about back at the party. And I pray to god they will actually talk things out and Lilia will finally apologize for how much of a complete idiot he’s been acting.

My headache’s coming back so to wrap this up quickly, my current understanding of Lilia Vanrouge is that he either doesn’t realize just how loved and cherished he is by his family members, or that he does realize it and just pretends not to. If it’s the latter, which is what I personally lean towards, I think he does this as a means to protect himself.

He’s already lost so many of his loved ones, and he very well may be putting up these walls around his heart and pushing away the people who love him just so he doesn’t have to get hurt again. We don’t know how he became an orphan, but his birth family either gave him up or passed away and left him behind. Even when Queen Maleficia took him in, he was always made the scapegoat for the princess’s schemes, and it sounded like he was brought up more as Levan and Mallenoa’s inferior than their equal. And then war struck their nation. And then his one best friend went missing and the other one probably gave up her life trying to protect the very child who'd go on to shatter the ice surrounding his wounded heart.

Perhaps with Malleus and Silver and Sebek now, he thought his best option would be to exit their lives before they had a chance to do the same to him, because he knew they would do the same to him. Everyone does.

As a final note, I still keep going to back to what he said in Cater’s Halloween vignette. I think this one line sums up his views of love better than I ever could:

“But the more precious a bond is, the more pain it can inflict.”

(source)

#lilia vanrouge #twst silver #twst theory #twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #twst analysis #not really a theory or anything more like its just me babbling but yeah

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skiddlecat · 7 days

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you know what? fuck it. the dynamic between taco and microphone is really interesting and dumbing it down to "evil terrible abuser and poor innocent victim" flattens both of their characters simultaneously.

they both hurt Each Other in ways that can't be undone!!! mic did her fair share of Fucking It Up Big Time as well and i think the way their fallout went down is the best example of times mic could have been better. and before anyone says it NO i'm NOT saying she didn't have a right to back out when she did but what i AM saying is that i think the way she handled cutting taco off showcases one of her biggest character flaws EXCELLENTLY:

when she's hurt by someone, she will hurt them back twice as hard. cheesy makes an insensitive joke? she calls him a monster. taco relapses in her bad habits? she weaponizes her past friendship with pickle. i'm pretty confident in saying both of these responses are Pretty Damn Disproportionate. and i think that's really interesting!!! we should talk more about this!!!!!!!!!

taco did a lot of bad things in their friendship and should absolutely be held accountable for it, but i also think simply calling her a heartless abuser is horribly undermining her character. like, imagine with me, if you will:

(post-writing note. HOLY SHIT this was way longer than i thought it'd be. putting the rest of this post under the cut because the previous paragraphs are pretty much all my thoughts but i kind of go into a full taco character analysis below. if you want to see that then keep reading i suppose LMAOOO)

you once accidentally formed a friendship with someone based off of a lie. you exposed the lie, sabotaged that relationship, and cut him off. that was the last conversation you had. a good while later you realize that, oh no, you actually DID care about this person, and you miss him! but he's GONE and it's YOUR FAULT!!! so you write. you write, you write, you write, hoping to get a response, but you never do.

and then. and then you find someone else. someone who's loud, chaotic, cast out. she reminds you a little too much of the lie you built for yourself. and so, you help her. for your own selfish reasons, sure, but you attempt to reign her in. she doesn't trust you at first, you don't trust her either, and you are... less than kind to her. it's not pretty, but at this point it doesn't really matter to you, because right now she's just a means to an end. she doesn't mean anything to you.

but slowly, over time, things start changing. she starts seeing past the brick walls you built around yourself. starts trying to break them down, little by little. you avoid, you resist, you do everything you can to prevent her from getting through, because vulnerability is frankly disgusting, and you don't want to talk about your problems anyway! but, this doesn't last. you actually apologize to her, for being so closed off, because you should be doing better, and she seems to appreciate it.

someone brings up that old friend to her. you get MAD. it's like rubbing salt in the wound, reminding you of every reason you're not happy, every reason you've been scared of getting too close. he suggests that you will leave her the same way you left him.

and. surprisingly. your ally does not side with him. she tells him you're changing. you're changing. she looks at you and all of your disgusting flaws, and she sees someone not beyond redemption. and you think that maybe. maybe you can trust her. maybe you CAN let your walls down. maybe you won't screw it up this time. and, and...

one mistake.

a pretty big one, granted, but a mistake nonetheless. you relapse into some bad habits, because the situation you entered was not the one you planned for. and she's mad. so mad, in fact, that she takes your old friendship, something she knows is a touchy subject, that hurts every time it's brought up, and she weaponizes it. she looks at you as if you mean nothing to her, and then she leaves. she leaves before you even have a chance to respond.

one. mistake.

one mistake is all it took for her to grow sick of you, for her to agree with all of the terrible things people say about you. and what hurts the most is that you TRUSTED her. you thought you could be open with her, you thought she was DIFFERENT. but no, she's not different. she's just like everyone else. and maybe, if the one person who believed you could be better gives up on you... maybe they're all right about you.

the walls are back up. they're thicker, stronger, and as far as you're concerned... it will take FAR more convincing to let anyone get through ever again.

...and then mepad comes along and says he doesn't even believe you're a bad person in the FIRST place, which is. astounding and very hard to believe but he's seeing you at your absolute worst being needlessly cruel to everyone and is STILL saying this with complete confidence so, fuck, kind of hard to keep THAT up for very long. then ii16 happens and you know the drill SHE'S DOING BAD.

hoo boy this went on for a lot longer than it was supposed to. anyway all this to say i think we should talk more about how they both hurt each other rather than push the narrative that one of them was "the abuser" and the other was "the victim" because frankly that's not even how it works in real life. thank you for coming to my ted talk i've been sitting on this for weeks afraid that i'd be told to kill myself over anons 👍

#inanimate insanity #ii taco #ii microphone #should i tag this as tacomic. it's not really meant to be romantic #i won't. people are in that tag for toxic yuri not toxic up for interpretation relationships

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livestock-and-bibles · 2 months

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Things I've Noticed During My Several Rewatches of The Doomstar Requiem

(Lock in, this is gonna be long)

Murderface is the only one out of the group to have a completely obscured face, possession foreshadowing perhaps? Also he lacks the golden streaks on the halo-esque circles behind them. Inch resting... (Not gonna talk too much abt when the scene goes red and the beam behind Murderface is dripping blood because I believe it's already been talked about before by others, and I don't want to include anything in this post that's already been discussed) Also I love how all of their weapons match their instruments

The way Toki doesn't even flinch when he gets alcohol poured on his wound is heartbreaking, likely either because the torture his parents put him through as a kid has given him a wicked pain tolerance or because he's so dissociated, similarly to how he behaves in Dethfam when his parents are around or Dethzazz when he's mentally in the punishment hole (I do believe this sort of catatonic state he's in is what's causing him to seem so much worse off than Abigail—though his untreated diabetes + Magnus targeting him more because of his relation to Dethklok probably also adds to it—he's likely not really eating or taking care of himself)

At first I thought that Magnus was feeding them dog food, but on closer inspection I actually believe it to be human remains. Yeesh. You can see it really looks like muscle fibers, and there's bones, as well as skin that still has hair on it. Magnus Hammersmith they could never make me like you

On the table is the Klokateer from Tracking/Ishnifus and The Challenge!!

I think it's interesting how much Nathan's fantasies look like Toki's! I just think it's neat! They're more similar than they seem :)

This is the most expressive we've ever seen Charles and it makes my heart hurt AUUGHH

The way Nathan licks his lips/teeth after the "How can I be a hero when my dick's as big as a shoe" line. DISGUSTING /affectionate

Does this fan look familiar? He should, because it's Dethklok's son, Fatty Ding Dong!! Good to see he's doing well lol, and his real name is Rick, we can also assume that at LEAST four years have passed since season 1, since in season 1 episode 10, he's said to be 14. Since he has a roommate now, he is likely to be around 18 years old

(Apologies for the low quality screencap I had to nab this from Youtube) I kind of wish that the animators didn't change this original animation for the end of The Fans Are Chatting. I just feel like Nathan pushing away the Klokateers is more symbolically relevant. Nathan is quite literally pushing away the safety and security his avoidance has given him, the hologram disappearing and the fans leaving is a metaphor for the fact that he can no longer keep himself deluded into thinking that everything is fine, he can't hide from the truth anymore

Almost all of the Rock A Roonie Fantasy Camp counsellors came to the Dethklok audition, there's even the depressed blues guy in the background. There's also Sammy Candynose from Snakes 'n Barrels, so I like to think that Pickles told him about the auditions

There's also the guitarist from Get Thee Hence

Toki's shadow!!! The wings!!!

The animals they take the form of match two of the guitars Brendon Small created with Gibson, The Thunderhorse and the Snow Falcon :D

It's super tiny but their smiles :'))!!! Also the way their parts play on different sides when you listen with headphones but then combine at this part makes me so crazy. Not only does Toki challenge Skwisgaar and inspire him to get better, but they're also having fun! Which I can imagine never really happened when he played with Magnus

Probably just an animation error but Skwisgaar is animated as his present day self here. Idk, just thought that was interesting

I think the order of the rest of the band joining in on the background vocals is really interesting, it goes: Skwisgaar, Pickles, Nathan, Murderface. Personally I choose to interpret it as a representation of how long it took each member to warm up to Toki as their rhythm guitarist, Skwisgaar was super fast since he was the one to choose him, Pickles was the one wanting a new guitarist in the first place, Nathan and Magnus seemed to be close, so it would definitely take more time for him to accept Toki as the whole Magnus situation would still feel a little raw, and Murderface is a professional hater so of course it took him the longest

I really love just how soft and content Murderface looks in Toki's fantasy. We all know he has a softer side and I think that either Toki perceives it, or possibly Murderface shows it towards him (Which I can believe because they're often together and they get along pretty well, Toki is probably the person Murderface gets along with the best actually)

I also want to mention that at this part of I Believe, Toki is no longer singing along with the other's background vocals, and is harmonizing with himself, which gets really sad when you realize that it's because this was just Toki remembering this to keep himself sane and he's actually kidnapped, hurt, and alone. Ouch :(

The drunk driver who crashed into the Jomfru brothers is the same guy who crashed into Nathan's second grade class in Dethgov. I guess there's only one drunk driver that exists in the Metalocalypse universe lol

I think we as a fandom need to appreciate Eric Jomfru more. He's such a real one. The way they make you care about him after he's already gone is so evil lol /affectionate

The way the Klokateers join in on this song makes me wonder if perhaps they view each other as brothers, or if there's just like a strong sense of brotherhood between them

The groupie on the left can actually be seen in Fatherklok at the beginning of the episode, as one of the women Skwisgaar has been with, so y'know what? She has valid reasons to be mad honestly

Murderface's pose up top always sends me, sir please calm down, keep it together king

Murderface holding his wrist :(

If you look closely, you can actually see that the Revengeancers are eating Ishnifus. Which is just,, utterly horrifying

In between the shots of the band and the assassin, there's so many inconsistencies in the placement of the characters. For the last two images, I just like to rationalize it as Pickles immediately attempting to run away, then noticing that the rest of the band is still there and being like "Oh shit we're squaring up? Ok I guess". I know it's just so Nathan can be in the center when they use the Dethlights but I just think it's funny

Also in the second to last picture, the way Murderface, typically the most cowardly of the band, isn't looking at the assassin, but instead, is looking worriedly at Toki, makes my heart hurt. I adore their relationship

Murderface is actually sleeping in Nathan's bed here. If you compare different shots of their bedrooms and beds, it's clear that this is Nathan's, you can tell from the striped pillowcase. I'm not gonna talk too much about this, mostly because I want to make a separate post talking about how Murderface is seen more than once sleeping in Nathan's bed when he's hurt/unwell. It's very sweet lol

ANYWAY! Thanks for reading these rambles, I love The Doomstar Requiem so much! I might make a post like this for Army of the Doomstar as well, and also just some analysis posts if I get the confidence lol. Big thanks to @ratskal for watching this a dozen times with me and pointing out things too. (I actually reached the max limit of pictures allowed in a post which is a little funny, I am so normal about this show /lying)

#metalocalypse #mtl #the doomstar requiem #tdr #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #pickles the drummer

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elysiuminfra · 1 year

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my I Need Money post (AKA, please consider helping me survive my abusive homelife)

Hi! I’m Cecil. I’m a 20 year old transgender artist from Louisiana, and I can make YOU art!

Art is my sole source of income, and I’m in a bit of a pickle. I am an adult now, and I gotta do adult things. like pay off debt. My sibling is 17. We are both victims of abuse and child neglect at the hands of our alcoholic parents. It’s not so great, but I’d like it to get better.

I’m disabled from medical neglect, and have no way to get my driver’s license. I am unable to get a job, as I live too far from anywhere that would hire me, with no way to get there. This is all I got, man! I got two hands and a warrior’s spirit!

My sibling is my pride and joy and I want to see them flourish and thrive because they’re awesome. They struggle with untreated bipolar disorder and a slew of medical problems, and I want to get them treated for it. I also need to take my two cats to the vet. I have debt I have to pay off, and I have to buy myself food to combat my increasingly declining weight. My clothes don’t fit very well anymore. :(

Art and design is my life-long passion, and I’d like to do it for the rest of my life, but I can’t if I can’t get on my feet. If you’d like to view more of my work, you can check some out here, or view some of my more professional work on my commission website here.

If you would like to financially support me, consider commissioning or donating! Even just sharing helps!

https://ckncommission.carrd.co/

https://ko-fi.com/cknelysium

On a serious note, things at home are not great. This is where I talk about what is going on in detail. Details of abuse and neglect beyond this point. Not required reading, but necessary for context. Photos included.

It’s not that I’m just poor, my parents both work full-time jobs, and they manage to pay the bills. I have food and a roof over my head, but I own nothing but debt, and can’t financially support myself. My parents have been neglecting my sibling for years, and neglected me the same. They do nothing to help us.

My sibling is showing signs of health deterioration, likely malnutrition, and they don’t seem to be concerned about it at all. My health is getting worse, too, because my parents have ignored me when I have stated I am getting worse. I haven’t been to the dentist ever since I was a child. I live with disabling chronic pain and intense fatigue, and I don’t even have a diagnosis, since no one will take me to the doctor.

My sibling likely not going to graduate because my parents have not supported them at all with their mental health, education, or support them just in general. They live in total isolation alongside me. My parents are also the reason why I can’t get a job- they won’t teach me how to drive, and won’t provide transportation. I am physically trapped in my own house, and the only people who can drive refuse to take us anywhere. They also will not help clean the house, and they won’t help fix our dryer or washer, which are both broken. They won’t take our pets to the vet. They won’t spare any expenses for things that need to be done. They spend most of their money on alcohol. In my state, we are currently experiencing what one would call abuse and child neglect. This is one of the only times I have ever written, in detail, what my home life is like.

Our washer and dryer, both broken. We don’t have any flooring in that room. The other is part of our living room floor. I am the only person who cleans the house in any capacity, and when I do it never, ever stays clean. The dirt is from my dad alone. I need to cover doctor’s visits, medication, food for my sibling, and vet costs for my pets. I would also maybe like to have a little treat every once in a while. I can’t physically drive, but if I am able to get the money for it, I can force my parents to take care of things. Due to the, er, abuse, I am also isolated from the world at large and have no support system. All things described on my sibling have been happening to me for years, but I’m technically an adult now, so there’s little anyone can do for me. Things aren’t so great, but I think they can get better through blood sweat and tears. Which is why I have to step up and try to do all these things myself! A difficult task, but I want to make art into something I could do as a job. Please lord have mercy, I want to wash my clothes. I can even save up for a car, and teach myself how to drive, so I can finally reach independence. Without financial support, I can’t achieve that at all. I am very stressed about everything. I’m very isolated as a result of not being allowed to go anywhere. I don’t have anyone I can confidently trust with my home-life situation. I have no resources either, as I live in an area with very little support for adult victims of parental abuse. I’ve never made a plea like this before. I just want to be able to live and thrive and survive on my own, and I just can’t do it at this rate. If I can go to the doctor, I can get healthier, and undo all the years of medical neglect and actually hold a full-time job making coffee like I’d like. I’m afraid both me and my sibling will never get anywhere in life, and I don’t want that for them. I don’t want that for me. I want to finally start living. Thank you for reading, and getting to the end.

#pinned #commissions

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harocat · 18 days

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Tell us about your cats!

Okay!! To note, I have a lot of cats. I live with my very long time GF and a long time roommate, so it's not just me, I promise. But yes, we are at catpacity.

I'll go in order as to acquisition. I wanted to do blurbs for all of them, but it was taking SO long so... short descriptions for now? I have the post babbling about all of them half written though, so I'll post it at a later point.

Ritz (full name Kensington-Ritz): ORANGE, sixteen years old, male, adopted from shelter.

JoeJoe (full name Joseph Chaucer II): Tuxedo, eight years old, male, adopted from shelter.

Harley: Tabby with white markings, nine years old, female, cat distribution system.

Bloomsbury: White with tabby markings in what's called a 'harlequin' style, eight years old, male, adopted from shelter.

Minerva: Full tabby (no white), seven years old, female, cat distribution system. She came to us pregnant (and is now spayed).

Tabitha: Tabby with white markings, six years old, female, Minerva's kitten. Birthday is 7/21/2018.

Chai (full name: Masala Chai): BLACK, six years old, male, Minerva's kitten. Birthday is 7/21/2018.

Darjeeling (Darling for short): VOID, six years old, female, Minerva's kitten. Birthday is 7/21/2018.

Vanellope: Tuxedo, five years old, female, cat distribution system

Fei: Grey Scottish Fold (we call his coloring 'toasted marshmallow'), four years old, adopted from owner who had to move overseas. Birthday is 4/20/2020 (blaze it for Fei)

Davie (full name: David): Black, twelve years old, male, foster fail.

Piccolo (Pickle for short): Scottish Fold Mix Tuxedo, sixteen years old, male, senior foster (he will be with us the rest of his life).

Orchid: Long-haired tortoiseshell, one year old, female, foster fail (our first foster fail in about thirty foster kittens, so I don't think that's too bad a ratio). Her birthday is 08/17/2023.

We also have a foster Mama and kittens right now.

EDIT: PICS ADDED.

#my pets #anonymous

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toomanythoughts2 · 2 months

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I've been seeing some posts about Toki seeking sensory needs from moshing, and and it got me thinking about the rest of the band.

Obviously, the whole band is full of moshers. They all like hurting people to some degree, and moshing provides that in a (semi) controlled environment. However, after AOTD, I think the dynamics change a bit.

Pickles is definitely an ex-mosher now. He perfers to have a private balcony seat and drink while watching the moshers from above. It's also a good spot to watch the drummers technique. He also doesn't want someone to pull on any of his last remaining dreads and really make him bald. It's a lot of energy and he would prefer just to drink with it.

Nathan is also in the balcony seat, but he's not an ex-mosher. He will join from time to time if he wants to, but he doesn't force himself anymore to join if he's overstimulated. He likes the peace that comes from the private balcony seats, and he enjoys listening to Pickles' commentary about the concert. He also likes drinking with Pickles on any day, so this is his way of having fun. He can also head bang more proficiently off the balcony and windmill without hitting something. He also uses the balcony seats to watch over the band who are in the pit, which Pickles jokes him for.

Skwisgaar is a barricade barnacle. He has moshed before and enjoys it, but he enjoys the barricade more the older he's gotten. He's the first one there and will fight his way to the front. He likes watching the guitarists' movements and their interactions with each other on stage. He also enjoys group headbanging and crowd surfing. These are some of the only times where Skwisgaar doesn't feel so judgemental and just enjoys the feeling of being at a concert and listening to good music. He's in full corpse paint too to conceal his identity in the pit.

Toki and Murderface are the only still active moshers in the group. For their safety, they have to wear corpse paint and there is a klokateer off to the side keeping watch of them. But other than a small pep talk with Nathan, they are in the pit, running, punching, shoving, and all kinds of stuff. Toki is much more energetic about it while Murderface brings out the most of the people in the pit by demanding it to be more "brutal." Toki will mosh until the mosh pit dies, but Murderface has been known to dip early. He's getting older, and those punches and shoves are getting harder to handle. He'll go up into the balcony with Pickles and Nathan and sit down for a minute. Nathan makes fun of him for being old, and he'll flick him off. All while, Toki is going full force in the pit, having the time of his life. He will body surf from time to time, but he really just wants to mosh. It's usually Skwisgaar that has to drag him out since he's the only one still down there, but by then, Toki's sensory needs have been met, and he's ready for a change.

They relax a bit in the balcony before calling it a night, usually Pickles looking over Toki to make sure he didn't actually fuck anything up. Skwisgaar is making him do a finger check because one time, some guy jammed Toki's ring finger, and they didn't notice until the next day at practice.

Be gentle with me, I have been to 1 metal show in my life and it was Dethklok.

#metalocalypse #toki wartooth #william murderface #dethklok #skwisgaar skwigelf #nathan explosion #metalocalypse headcanons #pickles the drummer

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rookiesbookies · 9 months

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So Im on a minor Soap obsession (Gaz obsession starts when @shotmrmiller posts about him, check out their Needs series bc 🤤) and by minor I mean major bc he and Gaz are my favs.

So i was like… what is Sergeant MacTavish met Captain MecTavish and his wife. Like HOW WOULD THAT GO???

Well dont fret bc I have an answer.

Under the cut

Yall can ignore this part it in italics bc doesnt mean anything but this is just my hc ig? But they dont change anything for what I wrote:

I feel like this woman is the definition of slim thick. She has the nicest birthing hips, a decently small sized waist, busty chest, a nice ass, and the thickest thighs. She has nice calves and is the definition of all natural. There isn’t a fake piece to her. She’s like 5’4” to the Captain, who stands behind her like a giant scary shadow.

I feel like she’s American and they bonded over both “hating” the brits.

She definitely has a size kink. Like has to.

She’s fiery. Like “my husband said no pickle,” type. The Captain knows if his wife goes “you need to handle it,” there’s a problem because there isn’t anything she won't take on. So it’s probably some douches asking to talk to her husband about buying a car or some shit.

Only part that kinda sticks is that I feel like she worked in intelligence? Idk

The good stuff:

The Captain sees Simon and pulls him into the biggest bear hug you’ve ever seen. Simon’s eyes are wide at the size of his once more nimble companion. His wife standing to the side shaking her head. No one knows who this strange lady is yet.

Price shakes his hand. Gaz is gawking at the size of this man, stating something like, “he’s the lumberjack and the whole forest.”

Sergeant Soap, out of habit started flirting with his wife from the future. The woman leans back against the counter top, sipping a water as the young lad flirts with her mercilessly.

“I’m almost old enough to be your mom.”

“I’ll just call you mommy.”

You get the point. Soap is basically purring at this lady as the Captain walks back over to her and wraps his arm around her hips, giving her a peck on the lips and Soap’s mouth falls open for the second time in a row.

Not only was he now the definition of manliness but he has the hottest woman he’s ever seen for a wife.

“That’s our bonnie?”

“That’s our bhean.” Which is Scottish Gaelic for wife. It rolls off the Captain tongue with 0 effort as his wife giggles lightly and presses a kiss to his neck.

Soap about faints.

“Do I miss when you used to flirt with me like that,” his wife turned to her husband and asked. The Captain moved to put an arm on either side, caging her in against the counter and helping her easily move to sit on top of it.

“Oh, I think ya do. Its that charm that won ya over after all. Got ya to marry me, dinnit?”

“If charm is what we’re calling the monster between your legs, then yes. Yes, it was.” The Scottish Captain laughed with his wife, a hearty chuckle that makes her hum in amusement and leave a peck on his scratchy beard. Soap about fainted again.

“WE’RE MARRIED TO A SUPERMODEL?”

“I’m an American Central Intelligence Agent, actually. We met putting Graves behind bars. Told him if he didn’t shoot him when we got him in the heli, I’d return his advances because Graves has some info I needed. Rest was history.” Her voice sounded like the best music Soap had ever heard. She was EVERYTHING. He’d pray to the ground she walked on and lick the rim of any cup she sipped from just to get a taste of her. He had a big fat crush on this woman.

The Captain could see the look in Soap’s eyes and sighed to himself. He forgot how much of a simp he was for his wife. He forgets how much of a simp he still is for his wife. Wondering if he still makes that dorky expression.

Soap tapped the Captain and pulled him into a different room. He got on his knees in front of his Captain self and begged, “PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DID IT. I NEED TO MEET THIS WOMAN NOW.” His hands clasped together, on his KNEES.

Captain MacTavish just pats his little mohawk and says “with time,” which makes sweet little Soap about CRY. Gave him some other small light hearted advice about her favorite flowers and that he’ll know when he sees her.

The Captain just makes his way back into the room and over to his wife. He gently returns to her, still seated on the counter, as she plays on her phone, and sticks his face into her chest with a content sigh. Her free hand goes to run her fingers through his hair and his arms tighten slightly around her waist.

Soap waddles in and his FOMO is off the hook. Simon shuffles over to him and in his best serious voice he goes, “I’d offer to let ya put your face in my tits but I don’t think mine are the kind ya looking for.” Before cackling to himself.

He heard the Captain mumble something to her about retiring, her having perfect birthing hips, and chubby Scottish babies which made poor little Soap break down.

She hummed back at comment about her having the job that’s less dangerous and how she’d let him have a whole little futbol team once he stopped doing the dangerous stuff. She pulled his head up, planted a kiss to his lips, and let his head fall right back.

His future is AWESOME.

Sergeant John ‘Soap’ MacTavish is officially excited for his future.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Part 2 here

#cod x reader #call of duty #john soap mctavish x reader #soap mactavish

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kaelidascope · 4 months

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Humor Me - It's About Beestfic

Okay so here's the thing NFKNGFKJGN I've been slowly working my way through rewriting this thing, but motivation is nonexistent when I have to keep over 110k words to myself without some kind of payoff. My dilemma is this;

I wanted to keep the original posting to preserve the hit ratio, comments, and dates seeing as this is the first fic I ever wrote. I personally think the original is absolute hot garbage and I'm embarrassed to have this thing be a reflection of my current skills. And yet, I've had many people argue they think it's one of the best things they've ever read. (seriously, what are you guys reading where you think this is good? but anyway)

I want to start releasing the rewritten chapters as they come to help motivate me. But that's difficult if I can't notify anyone they've been updated through the email notifs on AO3, and also what about the rest of the 10 chapters that are already up there that now don't correlate with the updated chapter at all? I could post a brand new rework, and just keep the old one preserved, but then I risk all the following I already gained on it, and now I'm just left in a mighty fat pickle.

So my options are this;

A) wait until all 110k words are rewritten, and mass release the updated chapters with a new archive page so that current subscribers get the email notification to reread all 110k words to get up to speed on the new work and new plot

B) Just post a new thing all together and leave the original Beestfic offline, treat it like a brand new fic

C) Post the new thing but release the original Beestfic back out for the public and just label it as 'Discontinued/Classic Version' with a link to the rewrite

D) Mark all current chapters blank and update them as I write them so I don't lose the comments or hits, but ppl subscribed to it won't receive the AO3 email until I post the next chapter. Only people following my socials will know it got updated at all

I appreciate the humoring lol I have more fun when I get to release it as it comes. I'm not the type to hoard content, I get too excited. This'll also make it more fun to cycle through projects when I get burnt out on one or the other (looks at MM... sorry babygirl you're gonna cook a lil longer that next chapter is gonna be like 19k words GNKJFNFKJG)

#beestfic #rwby #bumbleby #I'm pretty sure I know already what you guys want #But I figured I'd ask anyway #I don't think anyone's gonna care if I post a rework #and it'll be just as popular as the previous #I just hate that old version with a passion lmao but hey if you guys liked it #I'll put it back out there with the disclaimer that it's been remastered and it's just out by popular demand #Love you guys hope everyone is well <3

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iu-jjang · 1 year

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[FANCAFE] 230918 From.IU - IU is here!!!!

To my pyeon (those who have been by my side) for a long time,

my dear uaena-ya,

happy 15th birthday🩵

Hello uaena?

September has come again without fail!

(Although not as much as last year) Though the hot weather stretches on, enough to overshadow the term ‘autumn’..

Anyway September is here. Is everyone doing alright amidst this everchanging weather?

Uaenas seem to be bustling with anticipation about the screening of the Golden Hour movie and that puts me in a good mood, when I check in every now and then 😌🩵 (It’s l..legit awesome…)

Without being roasted by the sun! Or pickled by the rain! Or blown away by the wind! Please take care when you go and watch the show!!!!

September is our IUaena festival, so let’s not fall sick and let’s be especially happy 🔥

Anyway, September is here and somehow 15 years have passed..!!

From my 10th to 14th anniversary, the 4 years were like that, but this year really flew by as swiftly as an arrow.

We’ll be having a large scale(?) celebration a week later, but celebrating on the day itself has more meaning, right?! I thought about whether to read out this letter on stage that day, but decided to just post this on the actual day today in commemoration 🩵

Uaenas, my classmates from Gwangjin Middle School whom I have been friends with since I was 15 years old, are Junghoonie and Rangie. (I introduced them on a broadcast previously hehe) Although they are busy with their adult lives now, when I contact them occasionally, I feel like I return to who I was as the middle schooler Jieunie.

They are my friends that I shared my teens, 20s and 30s and we watched each other become adults, so even if it’s gross, it’s a deep relationship that I’m grateful for.

But come to think of it, uaena have been my longest friends for as long as Junghoonie and Rangie. You’ve watched over my teens, 20s and 30s, you always start conversations with me and ask me questions that I’m glad to answer and you love not just my front view, but my side view and even my back view every time.

I came across this in an article, but apparently we hold a piece of information for about 15 years. In the span of 15 years, as society changes and the trends change, people also change their values and when new perspectives appear during that timespan, we often redefine the way we think.

As I read that article, I sensed a newfound weight to the timespan of 15 years.

In this long span of time that it wouldn’t be out of the norm for something to be forgotten, as I unknowingly worried about things, got lost, changed, matured and grew older, thank you for watching over me silently during this period of time.

I’m still that boring person with a bad sense of direction and gets lost once in awhile, whenever I think of uaena, I always feel like I get a flash of strength.

Each of you having some kind of confidence (TL note: in me) and in the long span of time of the birth and death of a piece of information, I’m not sure if you liked me constantly, but that look of confidence protected me for many days. Thank you so much.

I’m still just me as always… but in your eyes, I am strong!!😌🔥

I’ve been busy recently, as if I’m back in my rookie days. Basically, I’m having fun and being happy! keke Physically, I think I’m well-suited for this too. Inevitably, there are times when I get exhausted and during those days, it’s like I’m receiving orders (TL note: like at a restaurant) over and over again, spending each day clearing missions. ‘Because to uaena, I am strong!!’

I’ll save the rest of the things I have to say until this weekend (TL note: To say during the fan concert).

I love you.

(Ah, it’s past midnight. Ah…. I find this kind of things such a pityㅜㅜ)

(TL note: By the time IU posted on fancafe, it was already 12:15am)

Translated by IUteamstarcandy with love

#IU #fancafe #from.IU

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bluelocksource · 1 year

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Otoya Eita’s trivia (source: twt & Egoist Bible).

☆ Character's colour: Bright green.

☆ Weapons: Off-the-ball movement and agility.

☆ Nickname: ‘Ninja’.

☆ Birthday: 3rd December.

☆ Current age: 17 (3rd year of high school)

☆ Zodiac: Sagittarius.

☆ Birthplace: Aichi Prefecture.

☆ Family: Father. Mother. Older sister. Himself. Younger sister.

☆ Current height: 177 cm.

☆ Dominant foot: Right foot.

☆ Blood type: O.

☆ Starts playing football: At age 6.

☆ Team before joining BLUE LOCK: Kirigakure Academy Soccer Club.

☆ Motto: "Step up or step aside." **

☆ Favorite food: Churros. “It tastes great.”

☆ Disliked food: Pickles. “It doesn’t taste great."

☆ Favorite animal: Phoenix. “It is a flaming bird.”

☆ Favorite season: Summer. "Do I need a reason?"

☆ Favorite football player: Minamino Takumi.

☆ Favorite music: He likes listening to neo city pop genre.

☆ Favorite manga: Moteki. “It’s top-tier, no objection.”

☆ Favorite movie: Home Alone. “The unbeatable Christmas movie.”

☆ Favorite TV show: FNS Kayousai & Music Station Special Superlive. “I can get senselessly hyped up.”

☆ Favorite celebrity: Aso Kumiko. “I’m seriously dying!”

☆ Ideal type: Bright and honest woman. (don’t count on it, he’ll change it soon).

☆ Hobby: Tour around TDR (Tokyo Disney Resort). “Riding Tower of Terror at DisneySea is a must!”

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: “I only eat the chocolate part of the mushroom. I’ll give the rest to you.”

☆ What goes best with rice : A cute girl. “I like watching girls who eats rice deliciously.”

☆ What makes him happy: Something exciting.

☆ What makes him upset: Something boring/depressing.

☆ What he thinks his strength is: “I forget unpleasant stuff after sleeping.”

☆ What he thinks his weakness is: “I forget important stuff after sleeping.”

☆ Favorite/Best subject: English. “I only take the class seriously because the teacher is beautiful.”

☆ Dislike/weak subject: Other than English “Studying is boring.”

☆ What made him cry recently: He got hit in the eye from being slapped. “Cheating’s not good.”

☆ Usual sleeping time: 8 hours.

☆ What he usually ends up buying from convenience store: Breath care. “Who knows if I’ll be kissing my girlfriend later.”

☆ Place he washes first when taking a bath: Between the toes. “Don’t want to get athlete’s foot.”

☆ Fixation: Scent. “I can tell our compatibility when you hug me.”

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: 1. “It’s from a senior I was dating at the time. I was really into her.”

☆ At what age he experiences first love: At age 3. “With Dokin-chan.”

☆ The first time he got confessed to: Happened when he was 5 years old. “I kissed about 95% of the girls in nursery school, and 50% of them confessed.”

☆ What will he do if received 100 million yen: "Charter a night pool party for as long as I can."

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: At age 12.

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: New spikes. “With some exciting design.”

☆ How he spent his holiday: "Either hanging out with friends or going on a date. I love the fluttering feelings prior to dating. The feeling wears off once I date the girl, though."

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: Enjoy the moment.

** I translated his motto before (link to the post). It was difficult for me to translate it but a user who replied on that post worded it better than mine so I use them here :) thanks @thats-miss-spider-to-you !

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!

#blue lock #otoya eita #trivia: otoya eita #trivia: profile #bluelocksource #trivia #our translation

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forgiveness-in-the-misery · 28 days

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I want to make a post about Nathan especially with the series officially ended after last year's release of Army of the Doomstar and the closure that came with that chapter and its story. It also despite being a movie format instead of a full fledged season managed to tie up a lot of character loose ends and questions for me especially regarding Nathan.

Primarily the issue people tend to have had with Nathan from a viewer standpoint and how people have always used his "inconsistency" to say the writing is poor or sloppy when it really wasn't.

Yes Nathan "flip flops" on whether he views his friends as friends let alone family or just people he has the unfortunate chance to share a home with, but the show itself and especially its finale really kind of explains why he's that way especially when looking at the facetime call with his parents in the finale.

Nathan like Pickles does seem to have a connection to his family unlike the rest of the band who for their own general health and well-being avoid their parents/guardians because it shoves them into really dark places...Not to say Pickles is never in a dark place around his family but we know he has repeat offenses of reaching out to them or offering help to them despite how cruel and greedy they tend to be towards his kindness.

Nathan obviously, thankfully has parents who don't act like that....But also the finale kind of did show there are issues there that I do think have a lot to do with the way we see Nathan through all four seasons of the show.

First of all we know Nathan suffered a traumatic event when he was a child aka the bus incident. We know it still fucks him up due to the fact we have an episode with a cold open featuring this accident, it ties heavily into why he stopped caring about his education and seemed to just want to avoid school altogether, it seems to be the pinpoint of him excluding himself socially from those around him in a school environment especially and also there was a magazine interview years ago with Nathan where the accident is brought up and Nathan gets really triggered by it being mentioned but claims he never thinks about it despite we know he does and he's severely traumatized by it.

All of this to say I don't think his parents handled the incident well. They already had a son who didn't begin speaking until the age of five and from the looks of it continued to speak at a minimal level because he just "never had anything to say" and then for him to start socially opening up only to endure a trauma that fucking intense more than likely slammed him back into being mute which considering this would have been the late 80s nobody would really know how to deal with him. We also know Oscar didn't want to be a father. Period.

He says in the show he had retired and just wanted to drink beer and relax but then Rose got pregnant and suddenly his money had to go towards a nursery, baby clothes, etc. instead of enjoying his life the way he felt he should be able to at his age. Having a son probably took the edge off but to have a son who was a mama's boy who never spoke and learned slower than other kids his age I am going to guess caused issues with them, Nathan playing football and excelling with it probably gave them a bonding point, but then Nathan saying fuck it with school altogether and growing his hair out and starting a garage band seemed to completely fuck the relationship between them causing that resentment we see when Oscar is introduced in season one.

Then of course later Nathan mentions his relationship with his father is repaired due to him starting his own line of bbq sauce which weirdly makes sense because Oscar is the very typical old school manly man type who would indeed bond with his son over BBQ and fishing and hunting and gun ranges and that sort of shit that Nathan obviously is interested in he's just also into wearing nail polish and song writing and crying watching Wall-E Toki.

Nathan does seem to have a closer bond to his mom who I assume coddled him especially with him needing extra attention especially after what happened at school. I do definitely want to kind of focus on Rose because of the Facetime call especially.

A super interesting thing that's funny and interesting to me I guess is Rose is either a naturally morbid person but considering we can presume her side of the family is the side where Nathan gets his indigenous heritage from we can kind of assume she very possibly grew up knowing about the whole cannibalism thing but kept it from Nathan as a kid due to thinking it might be overwhelming. But Nathan as an adult we usually see Rose telling Nathan about really fucked up shit which is hilarious due to her accent and her just average woman you see in Walmart look so its wild hearing her excitedly gossip about people being horrifically mutilated and killed.

And I get it....It's fucked up, but her son is in a death metal band, he writes songs about weird fucking violent shit all the time so as far as Rose sees it maybe he's into that? So why not tell him about a neighbor getting frost bite or some people dying on a rollercoaster? She thinks it will inspire him writing wise which I find endearing that it is her encouraging what her son does for a living.

What makes it interesting in a way that is relevant to the point I swear to God I am trying to make here though is...Nathan hates it. When she tells the frost bite story to him he's physically tense, covering his ears and wants her to stop talking and is open about how fucked up it is. In the movie when she talks about the roller coaster he has a similar repulsed reaction. We as the audience have seen plenty of instances of Nathan being genuinely uncomfortable with real life death, I mean the dude fucking takes his dentist out on a hunting trip and tries to befriend him solely to keep him from being so lonely he offs himself which unfortunately leads to the man killing himself in front of Nathan who looks traumatized....Which y'know is valid. The point is Nathan is....soft. He's like myself or most people, he likes fictional violence in horror or a video game but he literally doesn't want to see somebody die in front of him. He isn't going to get excited when his mom talks about kids and women dying, he just gets uncomfortable with it.

What is super interesting about that is....Rose and Oscar never notice that. It's obvious when he's uncomfortable in his face and his body language but they never take notice or take the way he reacts as a sign to stop being morbid. Even when he tries to tell them what's bothering him in AOTD, that the world is literally going to end and that he's seriously freaking the fuck out they dismiss him. They immediately assume he's acting off solely because Abigail rejected him and while we know obviously the situation with Abigail fucks him up it uh is kind of a very minor point in comparison to literally everything else happening.

And it can make sense they assume he's being the typical goth boy and being dramatic the world is ending cause a girl dumped him because we do as the audience know how Nathan is when it comes to love. He falls in love with women super fucking fast and hard and then becomes immensely depressed and dramatic when it doesn't work out...But I also feel like as a parent maybe you should just be open and ask if there is something wrong, not just assume it's a girl problem thing.

This comes to the point for me really. Nathan has never the whole ass series tried to actually talk to anybody about the apocalypse. This dude canonically has been having dreams about the Whale and the world ending and the prophecy ever since he was a child. He hasn't really had a day in his life that hasn't been plagued by this whole fucked up thing and he seems to have always known its safest to just keep it to himself and I kind of wonder if maybe he did at some point as a kid try to convey this thing to his mom or dad only to be brushed off or told he's being silly despite being distressed by it.

And in terms of the show itself he never opens up even to Charles or Ishnifus or Knubbler. People who literally knew or found out about the prophecy and things Nathan was experiencing, but Nathan never opened up to them. He was scared when he didn't need to be, but he's literally never felt he was in a safe space to tell the truth. And then we see him facetime his parents when he's scared as fuck and try to just tell them how scared he is about what's happening and how he may genuinely lose them and everybody he loves if he does this wrong and they don't listen or take him seriously they just assume "oh is it because it didn't work out with that girl you liked?"

Whether or not its a fault of theirs or just normal to assume he's being melodramatic it still hurts and confirms to him he has to shoulder things himself. He never told his friends about the memories that were taken from them, because he didn't want to burden them and decided it was easier to keep those memories for himself instead, he never talked to anybody about his dreams or the prophecy. Even the episode where he has a nightmare about his band dying he doesn't tell them that was the dream, he tells them the safe part of the nightmare, the part that doesn't come down to; "hey so I have a crippling fear of you guys dying and me being alone forever"

And Nathan is very select with his moments of considering them family or being close. He calls them his family when Skwisgaar fucks off and when the others are driving him fucking crazy, but its a moment where he's pissed off and just slapped two of them so honestly I don't think they were paying much attention to him calling them his family. He treats Toki like a little brother, but never really seems comfortable to title anything in any way to show he does care about him throughout the series like he has a fear of doing so with anybody.

The last two seasons of the show make this intense point of showcasing the rest of the band have their own....thing. Codependent family unit poly love hate thing going on. Toki and Murderface are fucking almost always together the last two seasons and are increasingly comfortable with each other, Skwisgaar and Murderface the same, Pickles and Murderface have always been super close but seem again closer in the final two seasons. The three of them and Pickles have their own thing and we see that Skwisgaar and Murderface have a repeat habit of hiding in bed with Pickles when they're scared due to Pickles mentioning he told them to stop scaring themselves which again means they have a actual habit of getting in bed with him when they want to feel safe. We see Pickles confide in Toki about his abusive father and Toki genuinely looks sad to hear that happened to him. In Dethvanity Murderface calls out for Toki and Pickles when his face is disfigured at the end. The list honestly goes on.

Just to say these four are close and they are emotionally available to one another and honest with each other and when you really look at the way they interact with one another it is different than how Nathan does in the last two seasons. Nathan used to be right there with them. Nathan used to be more honest and close and open with the others, I mean the first two seasons Nathan, Pickles and Murderface were their own little trio typically excluding Skwisgaar and Toki. Nathan fucking lost his shit after the motorcycle accident and spent the whole fucking episode indulging in Murderface's near death life crisis because he fully blamed himself and seemed to just have a general anxiety of being away from him after that.

The closer we get to the prophecy coming to fruition and the apocalypse the more Nathan closes off because he's living with more and more shit he doesn't feel he can share. I mean he could never talk to his parents about what's happening to him so how can he trust anybody? What if he opened up to Pickles and Pickles laughed at him or called him crazy and walked away? It would have fucking crushed him and I don't think Nathan would have known how to process it if he had to live with knowing he couldn't share the darker parts of himself with people he thought he could trust.

Pickles was fully right when he confronted Nathan and told him it is his fault. If he let people in instead of closing off and pushing them away then maybe shit would be better. Maybe Murderface wouldn't have gotten possessed, the band wouldn't have broken up in the first place, he wouldn't have projected his insecurities onto Abigail and thought marriage would save him from having to be honest with himself, maybe Magnus would have had a chance if Nathan had noticed his behavior earlier on when everybody else knew he was off the deep end. Nathan blames himself for so much shit, too much admittedly but he never exactly seemed to know why he did it other than to put himself into a Batman esque martyr position.

Nathan confessing to them he never had a relationship with Abigail and that he was indeed just harassing her is the first time we see him super honest with everybody in his life. It's the first time he seems comfortable with himself to the point of being able to showcase a vulnerability because he trust them enough to know they're not going to mock him.

Like Nathan is genuinely interesting and complex as a character, all five of them are, and his complicated relationship to the band I think comes down to a lot of childhood trauma he never knew how to process and being raised to sort of just lock everything in the vault of his mind and pretend its whatever and doesn't bother him. Either as a way to protect himself from the fear of people rejecting his vulnerability or the fear of burdening loved ones with shit he doesn't want them to worry about or be scared about.

Regardless I would like if there was ever a future story involving these characters I would love to see Nathan evolve from the point we leave on where he is finally open and honest with his friends who literally spent four seasons desperately just wanting him to share that side of himself with them so they know he cares.

#metalocalypse

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neonfretra · 5 days

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making hockey edits as a total newbie

having completed my first poetry edit its both easier and harder than i thought! which is pretty exciting considering the fact i have a poem in the back pocket that reminded me of the sharks. its WAY longer and i probably dont REALLY want to actualize it. but. fun process! talking about my process below the cut :)

concept

the inspiration was wanting to make a pickles edit and his number is 44 (and there are SO many sharks players that couldnt take 44 because of him. i mean it so seriously i hope they retire his number solely to inconvenience everyone for the rest of this franchises lifespan)

i dont think hes super widely known because:

the sharks are bad

marc edouard vlasic is bad

so i doubt the narrative of the edit makes much sense LOL

long story short, he used to be REALLY good. never got acknowledged for it in the broader scope. fell off with age . makes him super unpopular because hes signed 8x7m (shout out to past gm doug wilson) and hes bad. hes played with the sharks for the second most amount of games (second to patrick marleau who is like. THE shark of all time. hes so shark they call him mr shark. so if you grade on a curve...?) .

i love our shriveled husk!

the first image (the title card) came way before everything else actually, sort of my proof of concept and proof that i could actually make anything its very young pickles! that image is like. 7 years old

collecting images

all images (not including text overlays) were pulled directly from getty images

i got around the watermark kind of stupidly! most of the time, you can get around it by just pulling it from newsites that did pay for the rights to the image (reverse image search is a pal) or by checking social medias for reposts by the photographer or team (harder for me because i dont use any social media, use instagram only when necessary because it CRUNCHES)

i used mspaint.

it shows.

(brian babineau)

yeah it was by literally pasting the thumbnail (upsized by about 334% i believe?) on top of the image which is why its such a mess of pixels . the nice thing about the human eye is that it kind of smooths over the image if you dont look too closely . other times the texture of the image is so crunchy already that it doesnt actually make a difference.

(i DID edit the right image i just. cant see it?????)

(left: kavin mistry, rightt: noah graham)

for simpler shapes i did try to use an airbrush to fix it but its not super noticeable so.

the important thing was not using photos where theres a watermark over the main focus because im not making it look good enough to pass .

are there easier ways? oh god yeah. for sure. am i using them? well if you scroll back up

human centipeding images together

hardest part was the photos that mashed images together:

(man just check the original post for credits)

these were NIGHTMARES (now text free!) i have all the things i edited as separate layers if anyone ever wants quinn hughes disembodied hand or two pickles

making image two

the concept of this one was the second, but i had the final image ready to go second and finished it last. i finished this one second after fighting for my life to compile the images for it

the ideas straightforward enough: pickles on ice with the puck, other prominent defensemen going through the motions of a shot edited in. this is when pickles is like. capital g Good

compiling the pictures were easy enough? the hardest one was actually finding one of pickles HAHAHAHA

fun fact is that i chose a bunch of right shooters by coincidence. actually a miracle that i didnt notice until comparing pickles to them in editing. which i did extremely haphazardly (seriously i was guessing when resizing them

i did all this in an art program that didnt have the ability to select the subject so i hand erased the background. i keep mentioning it but if i had to work around erik karlssons hair i get to complain about it.

first time using the soft eraser if that means anything. the green background was to help me tell what i had and hadnt erased yet

this one took me the longest by far and had me questioning the decisions that lead up to this point the most.

making image three

PAINFUL. there are five different peoples hands on this thing and i spent most of it trying to choose hands that were interesting poses+decorations and in different places. didnt bother removing the watermark on any of the hands because why do i want to make more work for myself. erik karlssons second hand did not make the cut (watermarked)

the nice thing IS that there is a sort of photoshoot they have with consistent angles and lighting. i proceeded to spend way too much time aligning five different photos on top of this to make sure the hands are in the right place and about the right size.

an interesting bit of the editing is that the colors on the trophy photo were actually an afterthought! because it looks kind of nothing.

it looks nice next to the second image because of the cymk coloring but the problem was that the first three images had colorful elements to them and the fourth is just text on the image

adding text

alt title: OH GOD IMAGE FOUR IS SO NOTHING.

image 3 uses my favorite quote about pickles believe it or not ^_^

If you are new to hockey or are newer to the San Jose Sharks fanbase, you will see the withered shell Vlasic is of his former self and think that any conversation about immortalization in Toronto is beyond the bounds of possibility.

insane someone wrote this about another person. quite chuffed that you can read that phrase in the final image!

image four babe im so sorry you are so underbaked. the article on THAT one is literally just about the 1000th game celebration. but also its hella ironic

“I’m still the same guy I was when I came in, just 14 years older,” Vlasic said. “Plays the same way, does the same things, plays against the same players. Just 14 years older.”

whole lotta people want this man GONE because hes flopping so hard. everyone and they momma taking bets on when hes getting bought out. its BAD LMAO i hope they sign him another 8 years

in reflection

edits are way easier than i thought they were to make with zero knowledge of the medium! i had no idea what i was doing but i made something i feel extremely proud of, take a shot at it sometime ^_^

something i kind of struggled with was making something that felt interesting and unique but unified as a whole piece? i dont approach things with a visual "theming" in mind and i more or less tripped up on the colors LOL

give it a shot! a spin, even! oickles.

#neon etcetra

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sunflowerharrington · 4 months

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Wip Weekend!

thank you @oiveyzmir and @medusapelagia for tagging me! love ya!

i have two wips…

✨RULES✨

• In a reblog of this post or new thread, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs.

• Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We're posting progress here. If you haven't made any, go make some and come back to play!

• After you've posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

If the filename is one you can't share from, write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

• That's it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

without further ado

🛁 The Act (Steddie BB) - Saltburn AU

🖤 Unhealthy (unable to share snippets from)

Snippet for “The Act (Steddie BB)” under the cut. Warning for ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION

“I’ll need some identification, please,” she demands, leaning over the counter, lowering her voice. “Give me any kind of card or literally anything, just as long as the CCTV sees you’re handing me something that resembles a card. I don’t care enough to actually look for legal shit.”

Eddie hands her his credit card with no cash on it, since he spent the last of it on an e-cig yesterday. She pretends to study it and hands it back to him. “Perfect, you’re sixty-nine years old, I can serve you,” she laughs, winking at him. “Kidding, of course. Now, what can I get you?”

“Six pickle shots, please,” Eddie says with a smile, standing up straight to appear more confident. She doesn’t need to know he’s not of-age, yet. To be honest, she looks like she’s eighteen herself. Nineteen at a push. She looks like she should be hanging out with Steve and his friends instead of being stuck behind that sticky bar all night. “I’ll take a lemon drop shot, thanks.”

“Pickle shots, huh? You know Hagan’s allergic to pickles, right? I’ll get you five pickle shots and two lemon drops, hon,” she pauses. “Tomothy!” She yells. “What shot?”

“Lemon drop!” Tommy shouts back. “Thanks, M! And stop calling me that!”

The girl smiles at Tommy, before turning back to Eddie. “Knew he would,” she says, and Eddie can barely hear it over the music blasting over the speakers. And he can’t help but stare directly into her sparkling green eyes as she smiles at him. But the moment is cut short as she turns around to gather everything she needs to make the shots.

She sets each plastic glass down on a tray on the countertop, making the shots with ease and such speed. Eddie’s mouth waters as he looks down at them. “$3.75 each so… I don’t have my calculator.” Where is Barbara Holland when you need her?

“You don’t know your times tables?” Eddie teases, and she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Nah, I was too busy reading magazines in the back of class to care about math. It should be around forty five dollars for seven shots.” Is she… Is she okay? She can’t be serious right now.

“The shots are $3.75, right? That shouldn’t add up to forty five dollars.”

“Okay, whatever, let’s just say twenty five dollars and be done here. I’m so sick of this shit. I just wanna lay in my bed and go to sleep, man.”

Eddie looks down at his wallet. Shit. Fifteen dollars. That’s not enough. “I only have fifteen, can I pay the rest back tomorrow? Please,” he almost begs. Get on your knees and kiss the tops of her shoes while you’re at it. Jesus. What’s gotten into me?

She flicks a strand of her short, white hair out of her face and pins him with a stern look. “I’m here to do my job and not to listen to your excuses. I don’t do “oh, Maddy, can I pay you tomorrow, pretty please, with a lemon drop on top?” Pay me now, or no shots. Choice is yours.”

Eddie “tough guy” Munson begins to shrink under her glare.

“Go easy on him, Mads,” Steve says as he approaches the bar. “Also, I saw you dropping this and didn’t want anyone stealing it,” he continues, handing Eddie a twenty dollar bill with a discreet wink.

“I—” Eddie starts, but Steve shushes him. Steve lifts the tray of shots and brings them over to the table before coming back over. “Go on, man. I’ll meet you over there. Just gonna talk to Maddy for a little while and I’ll pay with your cash.” It doesn’t even take a split second for Steve to start playing with her hair, twisting a strand around his finger to tuck it behind her ear.

She giggles, completely melting under his gaze like she’s a popsicle and he’s the sun. Who could ever melt under Steve Harrington’s gaze like that? Eddie. Eddie could.

Steve leans over the bar, closer to her, and she leans in just as much so their lips can touch. And they kiss. In front of Eddie. How dare they?

Jealousy bubbles inside him and he throws back his shot before anyone else can pick theirs up. He rolls his eyes, wanting to turn away from the scene, but his body freezes up. A murmur of annoyance circles the round table, but Eddie doesn’t care. This wouldn’t have happened if Steve didn’t kiss her.

“Okay, wait,” India pipes up, bringing Eddie’s attention away from the . “We should play a game!”

“What are we? Five years old?” Tommy says with an eye roll of his own. “Fine. Only ‘cause I’m bored.”

tagging @sourw0lfs @ghostdeb @shares-a-vest @momotonescreaming @penny00dreadful @hornedqueenofhell @medusapelagia but only if you guys want to! 🥰🩷

#steddie big bang #steddiebang24 #saltburn au #snippets from the act #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #original character

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