#remus is smart and i will die on that hill

[part-time-zombie]

My favorite headcanon/interpretation of Remus is that people only think he's an idiot because he has no shame/self preservation, but he's actually super competent and intelligent when no one's looking and no one believes it when it comes up.

Like Logan will tell him to do his chores and he'd answer with "only if you beat me at chess, but if I win you have to do them" and Logan agrees because there's no way he'd lose against Remus, right? Then about 45 minutes later Logan is doing the chores for him and still reeling from the whiplash because how the hell is Remus so good at chess?

Everyone is too busy focusing on the fact that he lit the kitchen counter on fire to notice that he only managed to do so because he was messing around with a chemistry set he owns and made a new flammable concoction that doesn't really exist yet.

Idk, I just love the idea of Remus' cleverness being expertly masked by his chaos.

[inkdrinkerworld]

Tactics

Pairing: hockey!sirius x reader (established relationship) (wc: 1.4k)

Cw: reader is slightly bratty, SMUT, MDNI 18+ ONLY, brat!reader, degradation (slight), p in v penetration (unprotected but he does pull out), hair pulling, fluffy ending. I think that’s it but lmk if I missed anything

You’re riding Sirius’ every last nerve as you stomp around the house with a pout in full effect. It’s not so much that you can’t be upset, it’s that you’re doing it for his attention and he’s not giving you the satisfaction.

He’s busy this weekend, which you’d known, but so what if you feel a bit needy and want him to pay you some mind.

God damn Sirius for turning you into this.

He’s going over strategies for the game in a few days, his hockey coach drilling all sorts of tactics into his head as enforcer and all that.

You sigh for the tenth time and Sirius bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from saying anything.

“Siri, can’t you take a break? We can pop into the Christmas market before it gets too busy.”

He rolls his eyes, you’d been to the Christmas market two hours before and gotten everything you’d wanted.

Sirius knows your tricks, which is how he accurately predicts that due to his lack of response you’d flip yourself on the settee next to him and drop your head into his lap.

“Sirius.”

He looks down at you, grey eyes nearly blue. “Poppet, we spoke about this. After tomorrow I’m all yours.”

He pats your cheek and goes back to his iPad reading through the opposing team’s strategy and trying to see potential lineups and who he can best agitate tomorrow night.

You huff again, “You never have time for me.”

You know you’re being petulant and whiny but it’s not your fault.

Sirius has been gone nearly two weeks and he’s off again tomorrow with a week off. It’s that week off that has your body thrumming with excitement and nerves and Sirius looks good.

He always has but all the training and the games have toned him ridiculously.

Hence your attitude not being your fault.

“That’s not true.” Sirius frowns at your words.

“It is true. You’ve hardly called,” not true- Remus was telling him he’s just as bad as James was while they were away, not that Sirius cared. “And when you’re home you’re always on your iPad.”

You’re starting to push his buttons; your words are exaggerations and you both know it.

“Poppet, just give me till tomorrow.” His words have a bit of bite to them and it sets your mood in cement.

“Oh yeah? And then tomorrow night after your big win and you’ve busted up your nose again, I’ll have to tend to you and then you’ll want to go see your friends and go to the pub, and-“ your rant is cut short by Sirius gabbing your jaw and applying just enough pressure that your cheeks swish and you gasp a little.

“You’re itching for a row and I’m not having one with you. Cut it out.” His grey eyes narrow, watching as yours widen like saucers. When he releases your face with a quick peck your resolve doubles.

“Or what? You barely even have time right now for a kiss.”

Sirius chuckles and sets his iPad to the side. His hands are strong and firm where they pull you to sit in his lap and face him.

“Is this the hill you want to die on, poppet?” Your shoulders rise just as Sirius shakes his head. “Think about what you’re gonna say, baby.”

You’ve thought about it and it’ll get you exactly what you want. Sirius can almost taste the words before they’re out of your mouth.

“Am I wrong? This is the most attention I’ve had from you since you came back from Coventry.”

It’s the snark in your tone that has your boyfriend’s hand sliding round your neck, a gentle hold but a hold nonetheless.

“Such a smart girl but you just can’t help trouble, can you?”

You shrug and that solidifies the type of night you’re about to have.

Sirius’ hand tightens around your neck, his lips pressed beside your ear. “You’re such a fucking brat,” his lips create a trail from your earlobe to your collarbone, bites and kisses interchanged and left over on your skin till he reaches your lips.

“Kiss me.” You grumble as he brushes his nose against yours but never meets your mouth.

“I shouldn’t even give you one. Don’t deserve a kiss.” He bites the hinge of your jaw just as you’re about to complain.

“Siri.” You get out, rocking your hips into his as his other hand dips beneath your shirt.

“No you don’t get to decide how tonight’s going poppet,” he kisses just between the valley of your breasts before taking off your shirt. “You could’ve if you’d waited. But you’re just so impatient, just so needy. Just so depraved.” Sirius licks a stripe up your chest on the last word.

Goosebumps immediately erupt on your chest and stomach.

His other hand releases your neck, sitting further back into his spot as you rock your hips faster.

“Please touch me.”

Sirius grins, wicked and impish. “Now you have manners, go figure.” He doesn’t move a hand to help you and in your frustration you bang a fist against his chest.

His grin is gone but you don’t see what takes its place because Sirius has you leaning over the back of the settee and your shorts around your ankles.

“Silly needy thing.” He mutters, the slap he delivers to your bare bottom echoing through your quiet apartment. “Can’t mind your tongue at all can you, poppet?”

He’s goading you now, wanting to see how far you’re willing to go.

“It’s not like you don’t like it.” Your words end in a sharp gasp, your hands clutching the back of the settee tightly.

“Can’t help yourself at all today,” you hear him shuffling behind you, his sweatpants falling around his ankles. You feel the head of his cock and lean forward a little more, a much more severe arch to your back.

“Please don’t tease.”

Sirius snickers, moving his tip between your folds before slipping in and then back out.

“This what you needed?” He asks, wrapping a hand in your hair and pulling so that your chin is tipped upwards.

“Yes yes!” Your words preface him slamming right into you, your nails gripping the sofa as Sirius sets a brutal pace.

“Fucking brat,” he grunts, the hand in your hair wound tight and the one of your waist slips to your thigh and pulls it up.

The angle shift sends him deeper into you and tears spring to your eyes.

“Sirius.” You croak, turning your chin a little to see him but the tears cloud your vision. “Oh god, right there.”

He smirks, leaning down and crowding your space but never pressing his lips to yours.

“Terrible at asking for what you want so you just have to poke and get a rise out of me hm?”

You nod, “You never fuck me like this if I ask.”

Sirius chuckles, nipping at your cheek. “Liar.” His words are punctuated with a sharp thrust and a choking gasp from you.

It doesn’t take long before Sirius has you keening and crying as he fucks you, his hand sneaking from your thigh to your clit and you shake against Sirius’ chest.

“There,” you whine, your hands on his wrist to get him to apply more pressure. “I’m close.”

Sirius does, your back bowing as you come around him. He isn’t far behind you but just as he’s about to reach his own orgasm he pulls out and thick white ropes of him cover your lower back, just above your ass.

You fall into Sirius as he catches his breath, chin resting on his slick chest. “Can I have a kiss now?”

He smiles, pushing back some of the wet strands of hair that have stuck to your face. “Course doll.”

He peppers them all over your cheeks before slotting your lips together, the kiss far more tender than he’d been just a couple seconds earlier.

“C’mon, let’s go get in the shower.” He whispers against your lips, using his discarded shirt to clean up your back.

“Then we can watch Christmas movies?”

Sirius sighs, kissing your forehead. A tinge of guilt piercing his heart. “I’ll be in the room with you but I really do have to finish going through the tactics, poppet.”

You shrug, far more amenable to the idea now. “S’long as we can cuddle.”

“I can do that, baby.”

[icarus-last-fall]

I will die on the hill that Remus is incredibly smart, but when it comes to people having feelings for him, he’s so stupid it’s a wonder how he does it. Like there’ll be someone giving him a valentines card with hearts on it and asking him to go out on a date and he’ll be like “aww they wanna be friends, that’s nice”

[siriusblack-the-third]

Headcanons for Sirius black?

YES YOU CAN HAVE THEM

Smart. Like, really fucking smart.

Has silver eyes. Not grey. It's the brightest hue of silver you have ever seen, and he has this habit of staring straight into your eyes that makes him absolutely terrifying.

Intimidating as fuck. He's six foot four and built like a fucking tank, and has the most intense Resting Bitch Face™ ever. People literally scramble to get out of his way when he's walking down a corridor.

French. I know I've posted about Indian Black Family, but I have a soft spot for French Sirius.

Has the best poker face ever. The only time you will see him fazed is when James is hurt, insulted, or in danger. The whole school learnt very quickly (as early as the marauders' second year, in fact) that going after James is a Bad Idea™. Sirius could and would kill them slowly and painfully if they dared.

Gets annoyed easily, but almost never gets angry. He's scared of his own anger, because it's so similar to his mother, and the only times he has ever gotten truly angry was once when he saw Regulus being tortured by Walburga and the second time at Peter on the Samhain of 1981.

The exact opposite of reckless. Contrary to popular belief, he hates jumping into situations before thinking shit through, and has stopped James from making impulsive decisions way too many times to count. Even when people think he's being reckless, he knows exactly what the fuck he's doing, what the consequences are going to be, and how to deal with said consequences.

Wears black and emerald green the most, but also likes sea/sapphire blue shades. Surprisingly, he hates wearing red, because the colour reminds him of the deep red velvet drapes and cushions in Walburga's room.

Plays the violin, and enjoys it. He's good at it, too. At Hogwarts, people will form a silent gathering in the common room to listen to him as he plays in his empty dorm. It's become a thing. Everyone thinks Sirius doesn't know,but James told him the first time it happened. Sometimes, he plays on the first day of school after the summer, winter or Easter holidays, as a form of comfort to the children who don't really feel at home in their own houses.

Absurdly competent. He's outstanding at everything, even if he doesn't work at it— one of those people who don't need to work to get excellent results. James is the same, and it annoys the fuck out of Remus and Peter, but they help everyone out with schoolwork a lot so nobody actually has too many negative feelings about it (ahem- except for one Severus Snape)

N E R D. Seriously. Will talk nerdy shit with James for hours on end, because both of them are Nerds™. I will die on the hill of Nerd!Sirius Black, and your opinion is invalid if it's not the same as mine bc my opinion is actually canon I don't make the rules.

Long, wavy hair. He had short hair up until the end of fourth year, but then puberty hit and he realised long hair went better with his developing features. Makes him look so much like his grandfather that he has been mistaken for Arcturus several times.

School heartthrob, but didn't actually date anyone/have sex with anyone in school. He found out he was on the ace spectrum in fifth year because asked James to kiss him. He liked it, but the thought of going further didn't excite him like he thought it would. So he asked Marlene, and the outcome was the same.

Biromantic. Sex positive asexual.

No man at Hogwarts is straight, simply because of him. He's ridiculously handsome, and has people fawning over him and falling over these to get into his good books. Unfortunately for them, Sirius knows the names of like seven people out of the four thousand students that attend Hogwarts during his school career, and can't be bothered to remember the names or features of the rest of them.

Rude but polite, if ykwim? Gets called mean a lot, but argues that rudeness is not the same as mean. Rude is when you can't be bothered with pleasantries, he says, and mean is when you're cruel just for the sake of being cruel.

Him not being mean does not negate the fact that his cruel streak is wider and deeper than the Grand motherfucking Canyon. He has a particular talent for weeding out your insecurities, and will not hesitate to use them against you if you piss him off too much.

Prefers verbal sparring rather than a duel, but any fight he gets into, he wins. He has both intelligent quips and powerful magic up his sleeves and he will use them to his advantage if need be.

Absolutely loves mint dark chocolate, for some odd fucking reason. James and Peter always give him shit for it, and he always laughs in their faces before taking an even bigger bite out of the bar.

Nobody knows how many languages he speaks. So far, people have heard him speak English, French, Ancient Greek, Old Norse, Gaelic, Latin and Italian. James gets asked the question "how many languages does your best mate speak?" and he breaks into silly giggles. Refuses to tell the answer, says he likes to keep people on their toes. (Sirius speaks nine languages.)

Wears eyeliner sometimes. It's bold and winged and perfectly done, and has caused multiple fainting incidents because of the way it makes his silver eyes stand out even more than they already do. He says it makes him feel powerful when his eyeliner is perfect, and James answers that he is more than powerful enough, he doesn't need any more.

[fiveht]

i have literally returned because i just got the BEST FUCKING ANSWER from you. please don't feel obligated to keep replying bc i WILL continue to keep gushing but. siri being 5'7 really warms the cockles of my heart bc that's my tall-for-a-girl height and the DREAM is a 6'5 daddy like remus. 10/10. i love that remus has these depraved (yet oddly wholesome) fantasies about his baby boy. and the funny thing is that siri is just fucked up enough to love it all. running out of letters but i love u

Are you kidding me I love this shit, I'd talk about them all fucking day if someone would listen. (I am very slow to respond sometimes, but that's my work schedule's fault.)

Sirius is definitely a little fucked up, and it's hard to blame him, with his upbringing. And he hasn't thought about any of this all that deeply because he hasn't felt the need to -- he knows that he likes thinking about daddy owning him, though the specifics of that statement are just kind of revealing themselves to him as they go along.

But Sirius is smart, too, and he wouldn't be in this at all if Remus hadn't first shown him that caretaker side. Because Sirius really wad just fucking around, having fun anonymously flirting with this hot daddy; feelings wouldn't have been a factor had Remus not looked after him on his birthday, or asked about his family, or bought him groceries just because. That's part of the ownership too. The caveman is hot because it's the opposite side of that coin. Sweet, calm, nurturing Remus has a switch in his head and all Sirius has to do to flip it is flutter his lashes and say "Hi daddy," and suddenly he's got this handsy, snarling, possessive man all over him.

"Everyone's gonna know my daddy marks up my throat 'cause he owns me." That was Sirius, that was the first time either of them voiced it. And up until that point, Remus hadn't even really let himself think about it in those terms, because that was literally like three minutes after they had kissed for the first time.

Sirius has taken every first step. Remus has just been pulled along from holy fuck he's hot to I'm going to fuck his brains out to he's mine all mine forever. Remus did not see this coming. You better believe he was biting his tongue HARD that first night in Sirius' bed. There were so many things he wanted to say, and nearly did. A few of them might slip free over Christmas.

As a side note, I will die on the hill of the wolfstar size difference. Remus as a gentle giant and Sirius as a tiny spitfire is my forever headcanon.

Your comments on my old Thorki fic always made me giddy (I did not realise you were the same person until after I responded to your last ask). I'm so flattered that you read off-pairing for me, and your enthusiasm makes me so fucking happy. Thanks friend ❤️

[walkawaytall]

Let’s try this again for the fandom asks because I asked you for non-existent numbers the first time. 🤷🏻‍♀️ T, U, V?

Haha...I'm glad you popped back in with letters! :D

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Yeah, I don't care what the Star Wars databank or any other official material says: I think the first half of the The Empire Strikes Back makes way more sense if Han and Leia had been involved romantically in some way or at least were heading very obviously in that direction and were both on the same page, something happened -- whether it was the infamous Ord Mantell trip that we all like to write about or just Leia and/or Han shutting down because of Baggage™ and miscommunication or some weird third thing -- and they called it off all before the movie starts up. Their actions and reactions on Hoth are not those of two people who've been griping at and about each other for three years straight; they're the actions and reactions of two wounded and angry people who still seem weirdly comfortable with being in each other's personal space and working together. I'm not saying it's what the filmmakers intended, but I am saying it makes way more sense than the official "first kiss happened leaving Hoth" story.

I won't die on this hill because I do recognize my own bias as a woman with ADHD, but I do think Leia Organa is written, however unintentionally, as someone who has ADHD.

On an entirely related note, I have grown basically convinced that Leia was not supposed to melt Han out of carbonite when she did. The entire rescue plan is bonkers and makes virtually no sense unless Luke can suddenly see every aspect of the future in HD, but her timing makes even less sense to me. Once again, I don't really think it was the filmmakers intention, but I do think it makes more sense if there was some other part of the plan that she circumvented because impulsivity.

Oh, and this isn't something I have any need to die defending -- it's more just cutesy fun than anything -- but "the Organas have a family snowball fight at least once every winter even after Leia's in the Senate" is a thing that keeps popping up in my writing, so I guess this is a minor headcanon of mine.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Leia Organa - I don't know, she was I think the first fictional character who I wanted to be like. She's strong and smart and capable and also somewhat witty, and those are attributes I admire.

Anne Shirley (are the Anne books considered part of a fandom?) - I just really like all the Anne books? Anne is smart and funny and relatable. She has faults but she is both well-meaning and generally kind. These books are just really special to me, especially Anne's House of Dreams and I really, really like how Anne both grows as a character as she ages while remaining truly herself.

Remus Lupin - I dunno, I just love Lupin a lot. He's one of the more responsible adults at Hogwarts, seems exceedingly kind to his students, and he carries around chocolate. What's not to love?

V - Which character do you relate to most?

I mean, if we're talking Star Wars, I do relate to Leia some. Not in everything, but...I mean, at the very least, she seems to compensate for not knowing what to do by making sarcastic jokes, and if I'm not making jokes during a stressful/distressing situation...well, it's because I learned that there's a time and place for everything and some people aren't appreciative of that sort of coping mechanism, but I'm still thinking them.

Thanks for the questions!

fandom asks

[turneverybodyintopuppets]

AND ANOTHER THING

Logan also probably gets hilariously pissed when Remus is better than him at answering those common room password riddles. I love him, but you can’t tell me that Mr.-Literal wouldn’t tie himself in cerebral knots when faced with the likes of “What room can you eat?”

—

“I suppose it could be the room of requirement, should you require an… edible room?”

“Pftt Logan it’s-”

“NOPE, I’ve got this one. Perhaps that gingerbread house from that story about the witch you like?”

“Getting colder, Albert Fine-Stein”

“Colder? Like ice cream? Doesn’t seem like effective wall/flooring, downright irresponsible—unless the climate allows for it… maybe an igloo? You can eat ice, technically…”

“Damn, you’re lucky you’re pretty”

Remus Sanders is a Ravenclaw

No question.

- Creative: It’s in his title; “Creativity” is an explicitly Ravenclaw trait, right alongside originality, and Remus certainly has both in spades. Roman himself isn’t here is because his Gryffindor traits–chivalry, idealism, heroics–are so strong, but Remus has no such problem.

- Intelligent/Inquisitive: Look, the guy knew Jeffery Dahmer’s biography, elaborate biblical references, and the linguistic etymology of the word “dork”; he’s not dumb. He’s just deeply inquisitive about unconventional subject matter—it’s honestly a little reminiscent of the time Thomas gently cut off Logan’s “ooh, have you heard of blood diamonds? They-” rant in Alone on Valentines Day.

- Individuality: He clearly has that brand of “a little insane”/mad hatter energy that’s associated with Ravenclaw characters (ex. Luna Lovegood). He also isn’t a strong leader (Gryffindor or Slytherin), but a rogue agent–he operates independently.

- Witty & Sharp: Just as good at pulling out nicknames as his counterpart (”Nerdy wolverine,” “Tickle me e(l)mo,” etc.), not to mention the wit that goes into innuendo–just count the number of s*x jokes in any Shakespearean work.

- Open-Minded & Curious: Again, deeply inquisitive about very unconventional things. That’s the whole point of Remus, after all–extending oneself beyond the confines of what’s PG/fairytale-like/easy in order to “explore more mature ideas in [one’s] content”. He’s not just saying “let’s do sex jokes and cursing”–he’s primarily concerned with having Thomas “challenge viewers” with difficult themes like anger, guilt, & loss or complicated moral questions without easy resolutions. As creativity, Remus is responsible for the darker/more mature turn Sanders Sides has taken in the questions it asks and answers—if that’s not an explorative Ravenclaw, I don’t know what is.

[whiskerwands]

The Marauders and Minnie's wife

Not edited sorry!

I will die on the hill that minerva mcgonagall had a cottage girl wife that she never told anyone about because no one ever asked her. They lived in a cottage in rural England. 

When Minnie went off to Hogwarts every year, the pair exchanged letters almost every other day, but Minnie being the genius she is, figured out a way to talk to her every so often, not just send letters. Every single letter was kept in a small box in Minnie’s classroom and whenever she was feeling homesick she would go through every single one.

 Minnie’s wife had never gone to Hogwarts because she was a squib but she completely supported Minnie’s passion for teaching.

            Even though Hogwarts can make whatever food Minnie wants she always longs for her wife’s baked goods. They also have 3 cats. And one dog. One ginger, one ragdoll, one black and white spotted one and they had the most joyous golden retriever. 

A hot summer before 6th year the Marauders being canonically extremely smart, decided to find and visit their favorite teacher for fun. When they found her house they were shocked to see that instead of their strict yet lovable teacher there was a short little woman with a pleated dress and flowers in her hair.

“Moony?” James started cautiously.

“Maybe we messed up the address-”

Remus spun around to Sirius, “I did not mess up.”

“Maybe-”

“Are you looking for someone?” Her voice was soft and cheerful.

The boys turn slowly to look at the woman. Sirius sauntered forward. “Yes actually you don’t happen to know a ‘Minnie’ do you?”

She cocked her head to the side, her brows drawn in thought.

“Minerva mcgonagall.” Remus corrected, sheepishly.

If you asked any of the marauders they would have told you that the woman’s eyes lit up at the mention of the name.

“Oh! Yes she lives here! How do you know her?”

“She’s our teacher. I’m James. Though she may have called me the best quidditch player Hogwarts has ever seen.” James grinned. “This is Sirius potter, the tall one is Remus Lupin and he’s Peter pettigrew.” Yes James introduced Sirius as a potter to everyone after his disownment.

The woman grinned, “Oh how wonderful, yes she’s told me a lot about you! Please come in!”

They then went on to talk until it was dark outside. 

Minnie was off doing order business so she came home late. She was taken aback to see her 4 favorite students and her wife all seated and laughing as they held a warm mug of butter bear in their hands. 

After that day the marauders made it a point to visit Minnie and her wife a bit more often, even writing her letters when they went to hogwarts. Regrettably, their visits became scarce when the four got involved in the war and eventually she would never see 2 of the 4 boys ever again. 

After THE halloween, Remus visited Minnie’s wife. The moment he stepped in he was swept into a warm hug. He could tell she was devastated. Her eyes were puffy and she looked tired.

“Where’s Minnie?” His voice lacked its usual warmness. 

She pitied the boy. When she looked at him she wanted to cry. He had lost everything. 

“She’s cleaning up some of the remains of the war.” She answered softly.

The pair talked for a bit until she asked him what his plan was.

“I don’t know, but you probably won't see me again for a while. That’s why I’m here. I wanted to say goodbye.”

After that interaction he didn’t see her for 12 years. When he came back it was because he was scared. He was afraid that now that Sirius was out of Azkaban he would look for both Minnie and her wife. He had warned them. While Minnie put up protective spells, her wife couldn’t help but feel that the story didn’t add up. 

Both she and Remus were right.

One night when Minnie had gone away to teach, she heard a knock on her door. 

She didn’t know how to feel when she opened the door to find Sirius Black Potter’s gaunt face smiling at her.

“If you ask me to leave I will.” He had simply said.

Her brows furrowed, “No come in please.”

He explained everything while she tended to his wounds and fed him until he was ready to leave.

Her heart once again broke a few years later when she was told by her wife that Sirius had died in an Order fight. Soon after, she was mad. She was mad that Liberation only came with his death. He deserved so much more. He deserved to be free when he was alive.

A few years later she had received yet another knock on her door. She opened it not expecting to see three 16 year olds staring at her. One had flaming red hair and freckles littered across his face. One had bushy brown hair and tanned skin. But it was the final one that made her breath catch. A boy with tanned skin and unruly hair stared at her. She felt her eyes well up as she remembered a boy who she once knew who looked exactly like him. All the same except the eyes.

“You look just like your father Harry.”

[tsukihimeyfan]

Sorting the main cast of AtLA into Hogwarts Houses

I know I’m late to the party because I’ve seen many different people tackle this before, but I feel like it is my civic duty as both a Potterhead and an AtLA stan to put in my two cents, since every single time I’ve seen it talked about people either misinterpret what each House values in their members or pick a House by taking into account only one aspect of their personalities. I want to make it clear that these are my own opinions, which I’m basing on the definitions we’ve gotten of the main traits of each House over the years and the “core values” of each AtLA character, and that I’m in no way am I trying to insult anyone who thinks differently. That being said, here goes nothing!

Let’s start with the easy ones. Namely, the Fire Siblings:

1) Azula is 100%, undoubtedly, definitely, incontrovertibly Slytherin. Just doing a quick rundown of the qualities Salazar Slytherin prized in his handpicked students, as stated by the Sorting Hat, Albus Dumbledore and Pottermore: Cunning? Check. Resourcefulness? Check. A disregard for rules? Check. Using any means to achieve her ends? Check. Shrewdness? Check. Ambition? Check. Self-preservation? Check. Pride? Check. An argument could even be made that, as a member of the Fire Nation Royal Family, Azula also kind of meets the “blood purity” criteria. I’m sure most of us agree on this. Even if she does exhibit a lot of loyalty to her father as well as courage and intelligence, there is just no contest. Azula is one of the most Slytherin characters I’ve ever seen outside of the Harry Potter universe.

2) In the same way, Zuko is irrefutably a Hufflepuff. Hear me out! I know that he’s very brave and daring, but when we think of Zuko, what is his most essential trait, what do people tell us again

and again

about Zuko’s character?

He’s a hard worker. And what’s the House of the hard-working?

"You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, And unafraid of toil.”

You guessed it. Hufflepuff. Of course, that’s not the only trait valued by this House that he exhibits. Who is more loyal in the series than the child who got half his face burned off and still did his best to earn the love and respect of the one responsible? Who never faltered in his loyalty even when he was sent away on an impossible mission? Who spouted angry words most of the time yet was willing to let his ticket home go temporarily in favor of ensuring the safety of his Uncle and his crew? That’s right, our boy Zuko. That very loyalty to his father is what unfortunately bound him for the longest time, until he was forced to face what a monster he was and let go of it in favor of more important things, namely his own morals and his loyalty to his Uncle.

He also has an incredibly strong sense of justice, as proven by the above statements, as well as this moment:

and he can be incredibly patient when he needs to be, as seen during The Blue Spirit and the Southern Raiders episodes.

Hufflepuffs are also said to be fair (which he clearly is), dedicated (need I say more?), honest (which Mr. shouts-his-feelings-at-the-top-of-his-lungs and can’t-lie-without-being-obvious-or-glancing-away-and-has-been-found-out-every-time-he-tried of course is) and modest (this one he starts without but by the time he joins the Gaang there isn’t anyone more modest or humble)

As “an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor” , Zuko is the Hufflepuffiest Hufflepuff to ever Hufflepuff and I will die on this hill

3) Another easy one is our girl Suki, whom I’d say is a Gryffindor through and through, even if she is very loyal to her friends.

The rest of the Gaang under the cut.

The other members of Team Avatar are a bit trickier because they all exhibit a pretty even mix of traits from more than one House, but still if we just concentrate on their defining characteristics we can get to an answer. 

4) I’d argue that Sokka belongs in Ravenclaw, even though he is of course quite brave and extremely loyal to his loved ones, not only because he’s a strategist and an inventor, but also because, as best stated by Master Piandao:

Ravenclaws most value wit, learning, intelligence, creativity and wisdom (this last one is a bit iffy but I’m sure he’ll get there when he’s older), as well as priding themselves on being original in their ideas and methods. That’s Sokka to a T.

5) Katara gave me a hard time. She’s unbelievably loyal to her friends and family, she’s compassionate, patient, fair, hard working and dedicated, with a REALLY strong sense of justice, so a case can be made for Hufflepuff easily. However she can also be quite cunning when she wants to (most obviously during The Waterbending Scroll, City of Walls and Secrets, The Painted Lady, and The Runaway), she has a lot of ambition (if you count every variation of “I will make the world a better place by force if I have to”), she disregards the rules when it suits her (again The Waterbending Scroll as well as The Runaway) and she can be proud at times, so we could argue she’s a Slytherin. She’s also undoubtedly very intelligent and even quite wise for her age. It took me a while to decide but then I pondered; at her very core, what are the statements that define her? What words just scream “that’s it, that’s Katara”? They are, of course, these two phrases:

The first sounded incredibly Gryffindor to me, and the second is half Gryffindor half Hufflepuff, so it had to be between those two. As such, I decided to look into Gryffindor first. Katara is, of course, astoundingly courageous, but what else? I had to actually look up definitions for the Gryffindor traits besides courage because they all just kinda meant “brave” to me initially 😅, but what I found was:

*Nerve: “one's steadiness and courage in a demanding situation”. Yep. Who’s the most level-headed, steady and reliable person whenever the Gaang is in any kind of pinch? That’s right. Katara

*Daring: “adventurous or audaciously bold“. Yep. I’d say she ties with Toph for boldest in the Gaang

*Determination: “firmness of purpose”. Yep, absolutely. See the above image from the Painted Lady. ‘Nuff said.

*Chivalry: can mean 2 things, one is “sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms”. All of that is true of her (her “arms” being her waterbending), but I found it interesting that to be chivalrous can also mean “gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor”. I’d argue that this fits her even more. Once again, just take a look at The Painted Lady episode. 

*Courage and bravery: they can mean the same thing, namely “the ability to do something that frightens you” and of course that fits Katara, but the word courage in particular has another meaning, which is “strength in the face of pain or grief”...

I’d say she’s pretty good at that. I think that settles it, Katara is a Gryffindor.

Turns out that when it came to the water tribe siblings Bato was right all along

6) For Toph I was split between Gryffindor (thinking of her brash, bold nature) and Slytherin for a while, but after looking into Katara and researching all those definitions I think I have to give it to Slytherin. Of course, Toph doesn’t seem to be very ambitious unless you count “being recognized as the greatest earthbender in the world”, but she is quite cunning. She knows exactly how to use her “poor helpless blind girl” persona to get what she wants, as seen both on The Blind Bandit and The Runaway. She’s also an extremely good actress, being able to play the “reserved and obedient little girl” to her parents for years, and being easily able to pick it back up when it suits her. 

She’s also stubborn, proud, and 100% willing to use any means, regardless of laws or rules, to get what she wants. 

As for self preservation? Remember that her response when asked to teach Aang, which was crucial to save the world but would’ve compromised her secret, was this:

Slytherins can also “hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done “ and my first instinct was to say that it didn’t fit Toph at all, but what is Toph if not a person who “waits and listens before striking”? Slytherins tend to favor Neutral Jing it seems. 

Almost forgot that as a daughter of the Beifong family she’s sort of nobility and she technically also meets the “blood purity” criteria.

7) Finally, we get to my boy Aang. He was really difficult. He’s loyal, patient, fair, kind, modest (usually) and just but I can’t really call him a hard worker most of the time.  

He’s brave, adventurous, determined and chivalrous but he does tend to get discouraged during demanding or stressful situations (his friends always make it better though)

He’s creative, very wise for his age, and quite smart (except when he’s playing around with Sokka in which case they share one brain cell 😂)

He can even be cunning when he needs to be. If he ever went to Hogwarts, he’d definitely be a Hat Staller like Harry. I heard someone say once that they considered Aang a Gryffindor because he liked to show off a lot, but that’s not really a Gryffindor trait (think of Neville Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter and Minerva McGonagall. I think any one of them would sooner Stupefy themselves than go show off their skills in front of a crowd for no reason other than to brag).

Once again, we must pin down what it is that defines him, what his core is. After much thought, I decided it’s this: 

It’s his compassion, which he learned from his people, and his desire to value and protect all life. It’s his loyalty to the ideologies of the Air Nomads of which he is the last remaining bastion. It’s his strong moral code, his sense of right and wrong, his wish to make friends and to believe the best of everyone. That’s his center. That is what makes him Avatar Aang. In light of that, I think we can consider Aang, first and foremost, a Hufflepuff.

In the end, Team Avatar is made up of one Ravenclaw, one Slytherin, one Gryffindor (two after Suki joins), and two Hufflepuffs

Ironic, that the House least valued in the Harry Potter universe is the one that houses arguably the most pivotal characters of Avatar the Last Airbender: Zuko and Aang. Fitting, that even in this they parallel each other.

This is already long enough so I don’t think I’ll do Mai, Ty Lee, or Iroh. Maybe some other time.

[joaquinwhorres]

hoax (Ch. 1) {Sirius Black x F!OC}

SUMMARY ››››› It started out as a simple bet: who could get the girl chosen for them first? After four years of half-hearted attempts, Sirius decides it’s time to make a concerted effort to win over the notoriously undateable Florence Saise.

WORD COUNT ››››› 4,100-ish

WARNINGS ››››› Pretty much every chapter is going to have mentions of sex. Including this one.

A/N ››››› I'm so thankful to every single person who responded to my incessant "does this line make sense?" or "can you read this to tell me what you think?" Without you guys this never would have been uploaded, and I'd never already have the start of a second chapter.

Series Masterlist | Read on ff.net | Read on AO3

Florence Saise was rather convinced that she was the only person not excited to find themselves back at Hogwarts. Everyone else seemed to be coping with the looming start of the school year just fine, if the laughter and shouts that greeted her as she flung open the carriage door was any indication. It was, by all accounts that mattered, (which is to say, hers) not fair.

The blonde haired girl jumped down from the horseless carriage, landing with a heavier thump than might have been expected from her small frame. Before her, masses of students cursed up the hill chattering to one another with smiles on their faces. Not one had the same little crease between their eyebrows that threatened to turn into a full-on scowl.

It was as if every single one of them had either forgotten the bullshit that came along with living amongst their peers or were still blissfully unaware of the curse that was adolescence. Even her friends, who hopped down out of the carriage behind her, seemed too entrenched in the debate that had stretched from the train compartment to the carriage, to fully register what being back at Hogwarts meant.

"You've been quiet, Lory, what do you think?" Marlene asked, throwing an arm around Florence's shoulder as the small group of girls joined the throng of students.

"If Sebastian doesn't know what to do with his tongue when kissing, there's not much hope for him using it elsewhere. You'd do better with Roger."

"Aha!" Marlene cried out triumphantly, pointing a finger at Mary. "That makes it two for Roger, one for Sebastian, and one for giving up on boys all together," she tallied as Florence shrugged out from under her arm. Lily appeared on Florence's other side, trapping Florence in the middle of the group.

"You can't just use physical stuff as the metric for whether or not a relationship will be any good," Lily asserted. "There's more to dating than snogging and sex."

"Says the person who's never properly snogged anyone," Marlene stage whispered to Mary.

"Exactly," Lily said, perhaps a little too passionately. "And look how fulfilled I am."

Marlene shot Florence a skeptical look, and Lily reached across her to smack at Marlene's arm. This started another round of fierce debating, Lily reminding Mary that Sebastian had written her once a week all summer whereas Roger had only written four times, Marlene reminding Mary that she didn't want to die a virgin, and Dorcas reminding Mary that she never had any of these problems with her girlfriends.

Florence felt a dull needling, like a knuckle digging into the side of her head. At this rate, she was going to have a headache before they even reached the castle.

The Gryffindor strode ahead of the group, near enough that she wouldn't catch any flack for abandoning them but far enough that she could more easily drown out their bickering. She would give anything for just a single moment of peace today. Between her father and brother waking her up with their argument to Lily and Marlene's stupid battle over who Mary should date, all Florence wanted was ten minutes where she didn't get roped into playing referee.

But as she looked up ahead on the path, her eyes landing on James Potter and his crew, it seemed like peace was not in the cards for her today.

The group of boys were laughing amongst each other as they subtly enchanted trees to tap students on the shoulder or grab an unsuspecting second year. It was, objectively speaking, rather funny to witness the reactions of their various victims. One boy let out a startled shriek so loud, Florence would have expected it to come from a banshee. Another girl was attempting to fight off a branch that kept pulling at her plait. The problem with Potter and them's joke was not so much the unrest it caused amongst the students ahead of Florence.

The problem was Lily.

"You have got to be kidding me," Lily sighed, cutting Marlene off mid sentence. "What's even the point in making Remus a prefect if he's going to let his friends get away with everything?"

Before any of the girls had a chance to talk Lily down, the prefect marched up the hill with impressive speed, her hair billowing behind her.

"I am not missing this," Marlene said eagerly, grabbing Mary by the hand and tugging her up the hill with her. Dorcas and Florence shared a look and a sigh, before following them after Lily.

"Potter!" Lily shouted, and the group of boys came to an abrupt stop, nearly causing the group of Ravenclaws behind them to collide with their backs.

"Ah the dulcet tones of Lily Evans," James Potter said as he turned around to face the fuming redhead, a smirk set firmly in place.

Lily pulled up right in front of him, chest heaving from her quick trip up the hill. "You are to stop using magic at once or else I'll be forced to give you detention."

"I'm not sure what you mean," Potter said, tilting his head and allowing confusion to overtake his features. Lily's scowl deepened, clearly not buying the act. "I think you and I are both aware that it's against the rules to use magic before term starts, and we're not even at the castle yet."

Behind him, Pettigrew and Black snickered. The sound seemed to bolster James Potter's already rampant egotism as the smirk returned once more to his face.

"Unless of course, you're saying that I've enchanted you. Do you find me bewitching, Evans?" Potter asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"I think I've made it quite clear what I think of you, James Potter," Lily snapped, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "10 points from Gryffindor."

"Ah, Evans," Potter tsked, as if regretting the fact that he would have to share bad news with her. "Prefects can't take points until the start of term. Learned that fourth year," he added on, dropping the sympathetic act.

Marlene nudged Florence with her elbow and held out her hand expectantly. Florence's eyes moved from the open palm to her friend's gaze, raising an eyebrow.

"I believe you owe me a hundred galleons," Marlene informed her, a smile tugging at her lips even as she fought to remain serious. "As James Potter has just confirmed that he has, in fact, learned something in his past five years here."

"That doesn't count," Florence said dryly, slapping Marlene's palm down even as Marlene grinned at her winningly. The stare off between a seething Lily and smug James was looking very much like it was about to end in a murder. Remus Lupin must have also caught onto this because he shook his head and finally stepped forward.

"Come on, let's at least make it to the castle this year before you and Lily have a row," he appealed, making a half-decent attempt at Prefect-like behavior.

Potter turned to his friend with a magnanimous smile. "Since you asked so kindly, Moony," Potter paused, shooting Lily a look. "I'll make sure there is no more confusion about whether or not we might have been doing magic. Watch carefully, Evans. I'm putting my wand in my back pocket. Feel free to track its progress up the hill," he added with a wink.

Lily let out a disgusted noise as Marlene snorted, and Potter turned to continue back up the hill with his friends, Sirius Black playfully pushing him as he rejoined the group.

"What a wanker," Lily murmured, watching the boys go.

"Maybe, but he's looking well fit," Marlene noted, taking Potter up on his offer to make sure his wand stayed in his back pocket. "You could do a lot worse than James Potter."

Lily whirled on Marlene, emitting a scandalized,  " Marlene! "

The dark haired girl laughed and shook her head. "Oh come off it, Lils, he's smart, funny, attractive, all of which is important to you, and," she looked around before leaning forward conspiratorially. "I've heard his wandwork isn't the only magical thing he can do with his hands." Marlene wiggled her fingers at Lily, who pulled back looking so pale that for a moment, Florence thought she might actually be sick.

Which was far too hilarious not to laugh at. So she did, earning a dark look from Lily and a shiteating grin from Marlene.

Lily rounded back on Marlene before shaking her head and starting back up to the castle.  "He's not funny; he's cruel. And he's only half as smart as he thinks he is."

"So you agree he's attractive?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow, and Lily's face turned bright red before she managed to sputter out a:

"Looks don't mean anything!"

"She's right," Dorcas added. Contributing to the conversation for the first time with the decisiveness that the girls had come to expect from her.  "Looks don't mean anything. But being good with his hands, well…"

Lily emitted a strangled sound somewhere between disbelief and mild outrage as the rest of her friends laughed at her and moved past on their way to the castle. A small feeling in Florence's chest loosened as she walked with them, the conversation alternating between teasing Lily and debating between Roger and Sebastian. Maybe this year wouldn't be quite as bad as the past five.

Naturally, the hope of a better year was squashed the very next day.

This, of course, should have been expected. After all, the first day of classes was primarily meant for overloading students with work they weren't yet prepared for and reminding them that their very futures depended on the mastery of the material. However, those spiels were not the giveaway that this year would be more or less the same in terms of teenage bullshit as the years prior. What it really came down to was her Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

The death of her hope began the moment she walked into the classroom and was faced with an obscenely tall and lanky man, dressed in a smart tweed suit with his chin length hair tucked behind his ears. A name was written in halting cursive on the chalkboard behind him.

Oleander Fernsby.

It was a ridiculous name for what was, by all indicators, a ridiculous man.

Although, as Florence watched the way his eyes darted around the classroom, shooting away every time a student got too close to making eye contact, she began to think that perhaps ridiculous was the wrong word. It suggested a certain confidence that this man in front of her was severely lacking.

It was painful to watch really, seeing him hoist the corners of his mouth up just to seem to lose his grip and have the smile come crashing down again. Both of his hands were shoved into his pants pockets, the right one fiddling with something it found in there so that the pocket almost seemed to flutter with his nervous energy. Even as she sat down next to Marlene, Florence couldn't take her eyes off of this clear disaster waiting to happen.

"This is going to be interesting," Marlene noted with raised eyebrows as she tapped her quill tip on the desk. "Reckon he'll make it the whole year?"

"Reckon he'll make it to the end of the month?" Florence returned, and Marlene snorted.

The last of the students shuffled into the room, claiming desks next to their friends and casting skeptical looks up at the unusual choice for professor. Even Remus Lupin looked unsure about Dumbledore's choice as he sat with eyebrows raised and a slight frown on his face.

The professor cleared his throat, which was completely ineffective when it came to quelling the murmurings of students sizing him up.

"Excuse me," he said, his voice dipping down into a mumble on the last syllable. As could be expected, the class' attention remained on their own conversations.

" Merlin's beard," Dorcas muttered under her breath from behind Florence. The professor furrowed his brow, a look of resolve on his face before trying again.

"Good morning." He had added a bit of volume and force assertiveness to his voice, but it wasn't until Potter hit Black on the shoulder and gestured with his head to the professor that the talking in the room tapered off. Faced with a room of quiet students, he succeeded in finally managing a weak smile.

"Good morning," he repeated, his voice soft but steady at least. "I'm Professor Fernsby, and I'll be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts this year."

It was hard to imagine this particular wizard ever standing up against the dark arts. He looked like he could hardly manage a boggart let alone a hag or Lethifold. Even faced with a room full of bored teenagers, he was crumbling under the pressure. Across the room Peter Pettigrew snickered, and Fernsby's expression faltered.

"I know that I am a new face here, and you've had five other professors, but I hope that together we'll have a good year this year and learn a lot."

Florence snorted and either Lily or Dorcas (probably Lily) jabbed a finger into her back in scolding.

Fernsby's smile flickered, and he paused. "Erm, yes. I know that this is your second class of the day, and it's early. The first years were all practically asleep at their desks this morning, but this is an NEWT-level class, so we will be covering rather complicated and dark material--oh! Yes, you there," Fernsby said, gesturing towards a student in the back. Florence turned, watching as Cassius Avery lowered his hand, a self-satisfied smirk already twisting at his lips.

"Can you explain what you mean by 'dark,' professor?"

The classroom went so still even Fernsby seemed to notice, his pocket fluttering once more.

"Well, we'll learn about the Unforgivable Curses. How to battle Inferi--"

"Will we be learning more about the Dark Arts themselves?" Avery interrupted, tilting back his chair so that it leaned against Thaddeus Nott's desk.

Fernsby's eyes flicked around the classroom as if looking for help from one of the students, but everyone remained still and quiet, watching to see what would happen. Florence set her jaw as she looked back at Avery who was looking rather smug. Beside him there was a glint in Thomas Mulciber's eye as if he were watching an animal fall into a trap.  "I'm not sure that would be entirely appropriate--" Fernsby started.

"I was just thinking that we should know how the Dark Arts work and such so we can properly defend ourselves?" Avery clarified and beside him Mulciber smirked. Florence's hand curled into a fist on her desk. "I mean, you want us to be prepared, don't you, professor? We need to know--"

"Avery you smarmy little git, would you shut up?" Florence snapped, and the eyes of the class shot over to her. But she was just looking at Avery whose eyes flashed angrily. "Even he's not thick enough to teach you how to curse someone. Go ask your dad. Or is he too busy shagging his cousin--I'm sorry, your mum."

There was a beat of silence as the whole class seemed to collectively hold its breath before across the room, Sirius Black broke out into a loud barking laughter, muffling whatever Avery snarled at Florence.

"Pardon?" she asked, arching an eyebrow, and though he opened his mouth to say it again, it wasn't Avery's voice, but Fernsby's she heard next.

"That is--that is quite enough," the professor finally interjected, and Florence turned around, ready for her detention or points to be docked, but as Fernsby's eyes landed on her and she met them with a fierce unrepentance, he wet his lips and moved on.

"Merlin's beard," Marlene whispered to Florence. "Been holding onto that for a while, haven't you?"

"After what he and Mulciber did last year to Mary, he's lucky I haven't set him on fire," Florence mumbled. "Last thing we need is that lot learning about the Dark Arts so they can practice on muggleborns."

Marlene nodded her agreement, and the two focused back on Fernsby who was presently taking attendance.

Class continued and with it the growing feeling that someone was attempting to stare daggers into the back of her head. When she finally turned with a raised eyebrow, she found that not only was Avery glaring at her, but Mulciber and Nott had also joined in their friend's effort. She gave the three of them the most saccharine smile she could muster and lifted a middle finger towards them. When she turned back to Fernsby, he was in the middle of listing his credentials and previous places of employment..

He had just finished on how formative his time in the Azkaban processing unit was when James Potter began to loudly pack up his bag. "And erm..." Professor Fernsby stopped, watching as Potter corked his inkwell and dropped it into his bag. "Mr….Potter was it?"

Potter looked up, "Oh, I'm sorry, Professor," he said, his face genuinely apologetic. "I thought you were about done."

"Done?" Fernsby asked. While the word might have cracked like a whip from McGonagall or Kettleburn, instead it came out rather helpless as he looked appealingly to Potter for an explanation.

"It's just that usually professors keep class short the first. To get us acclimated to the school schedule again, you know."

Fernsby said nothing, looking out over the class to see nods of assent. Even Dorcas kept quiet.

"He's right," Marlene said from next to her, and Florence's attention whipped to her friend. "Although usually they make us stay at least half the block," she added with a reproachful look to James.

"Ah, well, I suppose here is as good a place to stop as any," Professor Fernsby said. "Come ready to learn, as I will be picking up the pace as the year progresses."

He seemed rather proud of himself, Florence thought as she along with her classmates scurried to pack up their books before anyone could possibly grow a guilty conscience. He probably thought the early dismissal was a sign of kindness and not what it really was: blood in the water.

Shouldering her bag, Florence headed out behind Lily and Dorcas into the hallway.

"We're not going to learn anything all year," Dorcas moaned, tossing her head back to stare miserably at the ceiling.

"It's going to be an easy O at least," Lily sighed. "And besides, next year it'll be someone new. Maybe they'll be able to catch us up."

Dorcas wilted a little, head coming back down to face forward with a pout tugging down her lips. "I suppose."

Marlene looked disbelievingly at the group. "Are we really not going to talk about Avery?"

"Do we have to?" Mary asked with a shudder. "He's so creepy. "

"That whole group is destined for Azkaban," Lily murmured, shaking her head.

"Not if Lory gets to them first," Marlene countered, smirking.

Florence shrugged, "I already told you I didn't think Fernsby had the backbone to tell him no."

"Right, but going after his dad like that?" Marlene pressed, raising her eyebrows at Florence as if to prompt an explanation.

"Everyone knows the Sacred Twenty-Eight's inbred," a voice drawled from behind the group. Lily rolled her eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh through her nose as Potter, Black, Remus, and Pettigrew interspersed themselves amongst the girls. "After all, you're looking at someone whose father shagged his cousin. Thankfully all of the negative effects of my parents' decision to procreate saved themselves for Regulus. Florence snorted at this, and Marlene barked out a laugh. Even Lily's lips quirked up into a reluctant half smile. "I have to say, Saise, that was a thing of sheer beauty in there. I think I might have even fallen in love with you a little," Black grinned.

Florence rolled her eyes and shook her head, even as the grin stayed on her lips. "I hope you're prepared for heartbreak then. Pettigrew, I'd start collecting chocolate frogs now, he's going to need them."

A quick confusion crossed Pettigrew's face as he darted a glance at Black, as if to ask if Florence was serious. But his friend was too busy throwing a hand over his heart and staggering back as if wounded.

"Should I get some chocolate frogs too, Evans? Or are you planning on sparing my heart this year?" Potter asked, grinning winsomely at Lily.

She gave him a tight lipped grin back, tilting her head towards him. "You should get as many as you can and stick them in your bag. That way, every time you have even the faintest impulse to ask me out, you can take one out and shove it in your mouth to save us both the trouble."

With that, Lily brushed her hair over her shoulder and moved forward to link arms with Florence, turning them both around to march down the hallway and away from their heartbroken boys.

"I think there was progress," James said, piling potatoes onto his plate once the boys had sat down for lunch. The past forty-five minutes that they should have spent in Defense Against the Dark Arts had been devoted instead to James' eternal pining over Lily Evans. "She didn't call me any names."

"Didn't need to, mate," Sirius said, snagging the serving spoon from James. "Her face and tone of voice largely did that for her."

"Yeah? What'd it say?" James asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched Sirius spoon potatoes next to his sausage.

Sirius straightened up in his seat, pointing the spoon at James. "It said, James Potter, you are a complete tosser," he said, mimicking Lily's high voice, much to the amusement of both Remus and Peter.

James looked down the table to where Lily tossed her head back laughing at something Mary Macdonald said. The lack of outright animosity had been progress, but she still didn't look at him with even a fraction of the warmth she gave to everyone else. Lily caught sight of him and the smile slid from her face, settling into a look of pure disdain before she turned back to her friends and said something that made Marlene McKinnon almost spit out her pumpkin juice.

"Well at least I can say I'm trying," James protested, turning back to face Sirius.

"Trying what? To get Lily Evans to hex your arse halfway 'cross the country?" Sirius asked. "Because that is about the only thing you're set to succeed at with her."

James scoffed before growing serious.  "I'm trying to win the bet."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at his best friend, and even Peter seemed to have checked back in to the conversation. Remus however let out a groan and set down the book he'd been reading so he didn't have to listen to James going on about Lily. "I thought you two had given that up."

"It was just on hiatus for a while," Sirius dismissed, picking up his fork to dig into his lunch. "Because unlike Prongs, I don't have to spend years just to get Saise to tolerate being in the same room as me."

"And yet," James said, picking up his own fork. "You still haven't won."

"Well, I've been a bit too busy with other matters to be worried much about the birds?"

"Like what?" Remus asked, picking his book back up.

"Largely, being the family disappointment," Sirius remarked with some finality as he bit into his sausage.

James just laughed at this. "Please, you have about as much interest in dating as Saise does. One of you is going to call it quotes before you can even go public--let alone last two weeks."

"All I'm saying is that at least Saise doesn't actively detest the very sight of me," Sirius shrugged, taking another bite of his food.

"I'm making progress."

"Of course you are, mate," Sirius nodded, navigating the words around the mouthful of food.

James shook his head at Sirius, "Padfoot, when it comes right down to it , I don't even think you could get Saise out of her knickers, let alone date you."

Sirius scoffed. "Everyone can get her out of her knickers. Everyone practically has gotten Saise out of her knickers."

Remus looked up from his book, a frown tugging at his features. "That's an ugly thing to say Sirius," he scolded, but Sirius looked completely unrepentant.

"It's not like it's a secret that practically our entire year has shagged Florence. Everyone knows what she's like," Peter shrugged.

"Exactly. Thank you, Wormtail," Sirius said. "But if you're so certain I can't do it, Prongs, then you'd have no problem making a little add on to our bet. Right?"

"No problem at all," James said, smugly.

"Great," Sirius said, leaning forward on his elbows. "Let's talk terms."

[maraudersandlily20]

heyy! saw you were looking for some promts? well i thought if i could maybe suggest something about Reg and Sirius? maybe one of them wants to talk with the other after Sirius has ran away? something like that. only if you like the idea though!

The room was empty and cold and unlived in. It had been years since a living human had stepped into the room. There was a feeling in the air, like the past of the owner loomed in every direction.

Sirius was just... staring. He could feel himself staring, hardly breathing, trying to convince himself to take a step forward. And when he did that, he had to convince himself to flick on the light. And then he seemed to stop breathing all together. 

The room looked very much the same as it always did. The bed was neatly made. There were no photographs on the walls, simply a Slytherin banner that their mother had given him hung above his drawers. The closet held numerous white, grey, and black clothing, as if he had never worn one color in his life. Even the shoes were paired and tucked away. If there had been someone living there, you wouldn’t know it from looking at the room. It was a ghost’s habitat. A place that had a memory of living that could never be pinned down. 

Kreacher had told him that he had been caring for “master Regulus’” room after his disappearance. He never let the dust gather, he kept everything exactly how master liked it. It was a stagnant piece of history, unnoticed and untouched even as years moved on.

Sirius felt like the past was holding his hand, gripping tightly, forcing him to remember times spent in this room. Times spent with his...

His brother.

The titled smarted at a wound that Sirius held deep down, one that he couldn’t explain. James was his real brother, not Regulus. Regulus had picked his side. He had decided against Sirius.

And yet.

Sirius would never deny the presence of an ache in his soul when he remembered Regulus. He had felt his absence in his life the moment he had left his brother behind. No amount of begging would convince Regulus to join Sirius and leave their abusive house behind them. He was just as stubborn as Sirius was, but he lacked the courage to leave.

During their school years, Sirius had noticed evidence of their parents’ cruel treatment of his younger brother, but he never seemed to complain. In fact, Sirius often wondered if Regulus knew how to feel emotion. He seemed so cold and stone like. Remus had compared him to a statue on numerous occasions. Sirius couldn’t help but agree.

The room Sirius stood before belonged to a human that Sirius had known but maybe hadn’t fully understood. Remus told him of his mysterious disappearance and later the declaration of his death. It weighed on Sirius more than he would admit. And now, he was standing in the doorway of Regulus’ room, looking as dark and as cold as Regulus had been himself.

“I don’t suppose there is anyone in here?” He said, a sarcastic note in his voice. “Regulus would never lower himself to becoming a ghost and haunting this house. It’s haunted enough.” He wandered into the room, settling into the desk chair, swiveling it to face the bed. 

“It weird, how different we were. My rooms were always covered in portraits and posters. Whereas his is just... plain. Even in the place where he was supposed to feel most safe, he never left any evidence of himself.” Sirius leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I always wondered if Regulus ever wanted to live a life outside of this,” there was a hint of pain as he spoke. “I guess I’ll never know.”

He looked at the room again, assessing the cold atmosphere and felt a deep longing inside him to just ask Regulus what he thought about his own room, why he had left it so bare. And, beyond that, why he hadn’t left. Why he refused to change, why he never let emotion overwhelm him, like any ordinary kid would have. He had so many questions for his brother that he felt would never be answered. 

With a tired sigh, Sirius turned the chair back toward the desk and gently pulled the drawers open. The first drawer was incredibly tidy, quills bound together on one side, notebooks and scrolls layered on the other side. The second drawer had a bit more interesting things. There was a painting, slashes of grey, black, and red, signed by someone named Everett. There was a locket with the words “and on” inscribed inside. There were photographs of people, Slytherins in their common room; some laughing, some hugging or scowling. Other pictures of trees swaying, grass blowing in the wind, water rushing over stones. Then he found the camera, and wondered where Regulus had learned to shoot magical portraits. And wondered too if he had enjoyed it. It seemed like he had. They were beautiful, for lack of a better word.

Sirius replaced the camera and opened the small draw across the top of the desk. There was nothing inside of it but a small folded up parchment. And on top of this parchment was a name.

His name.

It was addressed to him. 

With trembling hands, Sirius pulled the letter out, tracing over the swirls of Regulus’ writing of his name. He steeled himself and pulled the page apart.

He had written him a letter.

Regulus had written a letter to Sirius. Before he died. 

The letter was short. Sirius couldn’t help the tears as they came to his eyes as he read the words written in steady handwriting.  

“The star “Sirius” is considered the brightest star in the whole night sky. You couldn’t miss it, even if you tried. Just like you. You were always the bright one, the one that people stopped and took notice of. I always envied you for that.

On the other hand, the star “Regulus” is the brightest star in the lion constellation. By itself, it’s possible it wouldn’t be noticed at all. It requires the presence of others to truly be seen. It’s actually a collection of stars, but is visible only for a few months in its full glory, before disappearing. I may not have matched you in eternal glory, but at least I offered something.

I guess the first 17 years of my life would be considered the time I shone the brightest. And now, I am coming to the end of the light. The world is rotating, moving on... without me. 

I am sitting here, staring at this treacherous mark on my arm, watching the snake move against my skin, and I wonder how I could have done it. How I ever let someone tell me how to live my life, how to feel, who to be.

I am not what he wants me to be.

And, if there is anything I’ve learned in the few years I have been alive, it’s that the people who love you should allow you to be you. And not demand you to change for the sake of their gain and their image.

You never did that. You always just wanted me to be me. That’s why you shone brighter. You illuminated the work and love of everyone else. Like a lighthouse, showing the good and the bad of the treacherous sea. You were always like that. Even after you left.

In my wardrobe, there’s a small wooden box that holds photographs I’ve never shown anyone. I want you to have them. I hope one day you will read this letter and find those photographs, and maybe you will begin to understand. 

I think a part of me has always known it would come to this. Me, alone, in the house that seemed to hate us from our conceptions. You, off saving the world, with the people who love you so well, dreaming of a future I can’t even imagine. I think there has always been an understanding in my heart that I would never have that future, no matter how hard you tried to give it to me. That’s why I stayed, Sirius. I knew, if I went with you, you’d never let me be. You’d give all of your attention and energy to me, trying to make me into the person you hoped I could become. But I know better. Unfortunately, I will never be that person. It seems I have run out of time.

Other people need that love more than I do. I got to have it for so long, and I know how powerful it is. Other people need that. I hope you don’t hold back in giving it to them.

Can I tell you a secret? I never gave much thought to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think a part of me always knew I would never get that far. And now, possibly at the end of my life, I know that I am not afraid to die. 

I only wish I could tell you, Sirius, how badly I don’t want to leave you. Leaving you, as I have had to do over and over again, is like the story of the man in hell, who pushes a boulder up a hill, having to watch it fall to the bottom after every try. That pain and anguish I feel, leaving you, it doesn’t go away. It just starts over, again and again.

I promise this is the last time I’ll do it. 

I hope you get to grow up and become the things that you’ve always wanted. I hope that where my life stops, at the edge of all this potential, your life will dive in and grow and flourish. That alone gives me the strength to let this be the end. 

I wonder what you’ll be when you grow up. I wonder how your obnoxious and loving light will save people. It saved me. You may not believe it, considering where we are, but it did. And if my life is to end now, I hope the years I had left will be transferred to you. 

You made me the lion’s heart. And now, I’m going to prove to you that you did not believe in me in vain. 

Yours, faithfully, 

Regulus”

And Sirius didn’t know why, but he felt like his heart stuttered to a stop. And it did not resume it’s beating for several moments. When he felt himself come to life again, he stood and wandered to the wardrobe, where he found the small wooden box that Regulus had left for him. He slid the lid off and pulled out a hefty stack of pictures. Some were enchanted, others were not. But it was clear who the star of them was.

It was Sirius. 

Sirius with his friends, in the great hall, walking between classes, cheering at quidditch matches. There were a few of him dozing beneath a tree or swimming in the great lake. Pictures of him smiling and laughing, holding Remus’ had or stealing a kiss.

It was all Sirius. 

And for the first time in his life, Sirius understood that Regulus had been there for all of it. He hadn’t been ignoring Sirius. He hadn’t left Sirius, as Sirius had always thought. Regulus had watched him, every moment of him, had understood him. He had captured who he loved and how he loved them. He captured him in quiet moments, and loud.

Regulus had never left him at all.

At the bottom of the pile of photos was a portrait of Regulus himself. He was setting the camera up on a bookshelf, and he was smiling. He must have been about sixteen. He was in... He was in Sirius’ room, wearing one of his old muggle band shirts. He looked more like a kid than Sirius had ever seen him, an aura of innocence about him. The picture came to life, showing Regulus laugh as he balanced the camera before moving backwards. He didn’t do anything but smile, but it was the most beautiful picture that Sirius had ever seen.

It was like Regulus had left his soul in that picture. He had left it, as proof for Sirius, that he had lived. And, more importantly, that he had loved him. 

He held the picture to his chest and collapsed to the ground, not even noticing the sun set behind him. And, feeling more heartbroken then ever, Sirius cried more than he had since James and Lily had died. 

[weloveanyways]

Alright but like

“““Unpopular”““ (??Are They??) Harry Potter Opinions That Literally No One Asked For 

JK ROWLING IS A TERF and no I will NOT pretend that Daniel Radcliffe wrote Harry Potter because she needs to be held accountable for her actions and her words AND it’s important that we recognize that a series we all grew up with and love dearly is flawed and problematic in ways that we didn’t understand when we were younger. Does that make us shitty for still loving the media? No. But acknowledging and critiquing it is equally important

Alright back to the less serious shit but 

I will DIE MAD THAT JAMES POTTER LEFT HIS WAND ON THE COUCH FUCKING KISS MY ASS Are you kiDDING ME???

Harry Potter was an Auror until he was like 28-ish and then he went HUH. This Might Not Be For Me After All!! And then Decided to be a fucking PROFESSOR OF DADA. Fucking Fight me. 

Snape cOULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN INTERESTING and not a fUCKING INCEL if he had joined the Order because of Lily Potter -- yes, bare with me! -- and then actually grew and changed and realized how FUCKED and RACIST and HORRIBLE everything was and then changed himself for the better!! He didn’t need to be a miserable man who BULLIED CHILDREN! Oh he didn’t like Neville because if he was the chosen one blah blah blaH - I literally DO NOT CARE. Snape was NOTORIOUS for being cruel and shitty to EVERYONE, not just Neville. Literally he didn’t even need to be a good teacher, he could have just been like... Kinda fucking grumpy and a hard grader but he didn’t need to be Like That. 

Cursed Child isn’t Canon and literally Kiss My Ass

Fred’s death... Was heartbreaking and horrible and unneeded -- but I loved crying over it. I loved being fucking WRECKED over it. I loved sobbing over it.

I think Dumbledore should NOT have been the like... Man Bitch in the Order? He was kinda bad at it. You know what I DO think though??? I think Dumbledore was good teacher. 

Remus And Tonks Dying Was Bad Writing. The “””””PARALLELS”””” of Teddy and Harry being orphans wasn’t as smart as JK thought it was

The Dursley’s didn’t need to be Like That for Harry to have grown up miserable and honestly I also feel like this was sort of cheap writing too

Peter Pettigrew... kinda wish... He had a better arc?? I was annotating GOF and I noticed some very light things in the way Peter and Voldemort spoke to each other that just like... I don’t know. I thought there was lingering regret in Peter - and maybe I’m wishful thinking but whatever. ANYWAY itdoesn’t even need to be a redemption arc story, but I wanted to know more, you know what I mean? Because Peter is always treated as “The Spare” marauder but I know for a Fact all four of those bitches were the best of friends. I did like Peter’s death though, I thought it was fitting. I just wanted more stuff in between with him I guess?? You know??? 

Percy, while Fucking Annoying, is NOT the evil Weasley. But he probably should have been in Slytherin. Lol. 

Seriously. You’re telling me that JAMES POTTER REALLY LEFT HIS GODDAMN WAND ON THE COUCH -- HE WAS TRYING TO GIVE LILY SOME TIME!!! YOU KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME TIME JAMES? FUCKING DUELING A LITTLE WITH MOTHERFUCKING VOLDEMORT NOT GOING Oh Guess I’ll Die

I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL OKAY

[dyke-remy]

Live And Let Die, part 4

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3   Part 5   Part 6

Description: Agent 008 and Agent 009, professional spies for the MI6 with liscense to kill. Partners in both work and love. After an agent goes missing the partners have to once more go out into the field. (It’s a James Bond AU)

You don’t need to know anything about James Bond to be able to read this fic, trust me

Note: If anyone tags this as r/mr/m I will hunt them for sport

Words: 4853

6 years ago

Remus looked out of the car window. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be here. This was the wrong place. The wrong time. Maybe he should make the car turn around.

"You still here bro?"

A hand landed on Remus' shoulder making him jump in his seat. He looked over to the driver. To Roman.

His brother sent him a smile before looking back at the road "Seriously you good? You looked like you were going to mars"

"Just kinda zoning out" Remus replied.

"You took your meds right? I don't want you nearly getting us killed because you were too busy daydreaming about Beetlejuice again"

"He's the man of my dreams Ro-bro!!!.....and yes I have taken them"

"Re-Re I gotta get you a date once we get back. I can Not let Beetlejuice be your standard of men!"  Roman playfully poked his elbow into his ribs "Hey that new Q assistant has been staring at us even since they read our files. I'm sure all it'll take is asking them out and they'll fall head over heels for you"

"They would probably only be interested 'cause of dad" Remus muttered out while crossing his arms "It's always like that. Either that or 'cause of mom"

"At least It's definitely not because of your horribly ugly monster you call a mustache" Roman got a bonk on the head for that.

"Whatever. You go and get yet anotha fling once we get home why dont you. One day you're either gonna get cannibalised or get syphilis. Or both!!!"

Roman let out a gasp "I am far too clean and princely to get syphilis you dirty heathen!!!" He smacked his brother with one arm while driving with the other.

Remus smacked him back "No-oh. Syphilis and gonorre and some weird blue stuff!!"

The smacking got more intense and the prince's gasps and shrieks of defence even louder and nasalier with every sex joke. Until he finally stood on the brakes. The car stopped so suddenly Remus had to hold himself back from flying out the windshield.

"We're here" He simply stated.

Remus let out an overly extra breathe of relief "Finally! Thought my skin was gonna rot off my bones before we got here!"

Roman leaned back and took out his usual weapons from the box sitting in the backseat while continuing to talk.

"Remember: this is a serious mission! Not just some ol' dragon we gotta arrest. Army of fire breathing dragon witches levels of serious. No unnecessary fighting and absolutely no inspecting dead bodies!!"

"You know I can't promise that" Remus replied while stuffing the biggest handgun he'd been able to get his hands (heh) on into the holster stuck onto the side of his waist.

"I know far too frick fracking well"

"PLEase just say fuck!"

"No. Fuck you!!"

They got out of the car. Their feet sank down into the sand the moment they stepped off the gravel road. For dozens of miles around them there was nothing but them, sand and a few even sandier hills.

And of course the statue. That goshdarn statue.

Enfuel, a company with ties to both energy and oil distrubution, had recently bought this random piece of land in the middle of the desert. A statue was placed in the middle of it a year or so later. It looked similar to one of the old egyptic statues and when they looked up information about it all sites said it had been around for hundreds of years. Of course MI6 had satellite pictures to show otherwise.

MI6 had been keeping check on Enfuel for a while. An anonymous worker had been selling them information for months. Even without the leaked information the vast buying of land and spikes of Enfuel employees dying in 'accidents' was enough to rise suspicion.

The agents made their way towards the statue. Guns ready in their hands. No one was around. It was a large one. Over 20 feet wide and at least 15 feet high.

Roman hunched down in the shade from the statue and took out a mechanical gadget he'd gotten from Q. It was a scanner. He placed it on the ground and activated it.

"And now we wait"

"Time to rant and or infodump?" Remus asked.

"Yes but not from you. You got to infodump the last time. It is my time to rant to kill time on a mission!"

He rolled his eyes "Yeah sure go ahead"

His brother instantly went on a long rant about the local theater production he'd landed a role in. It was the first time he'd ever acted. Aside from exercising and his special interest (disney) the theater was the first time he'd ever had a real hobby. His (now ex) boyfriend had been the one to take him to audition after introducing him to (and accidentally making him instantly hyperfixate on) musicals.

"And I just can't wait to-"

He stopped midsentence when the machine made a sound. He was still happy stimming as he checked it.

"Holy zeus" He gasped out.

He showed it to Remus. The scanner had created a blueprint of everything within a 10 feet radius. It clearly showed that there was something built under the ground. There was also an entrance built into the statue.

Remus went over and clicked on a specific point on the statue like the blueprint showed. A keypad appeared. They sent a photo of it to Q. Within minutes he'd somehow been able to come up with the correct code.

He put in the code and a hidden door nearly obscured between two pillars opened up. The brother sent each other excited smiles before entering.

There was a short staircase that led down into a corridor. The walls looked like something they'd find in a mourge and the dim lights shone a cold blue. Roman buttoned up the shirt he had on that was supposed to look like the uniform many Enfuel employees wore.

"Sure doesn't look ancient" Remus muttered.

It was practically a maze of corridors and rooms. Everywhere that cold blue light was the same. None of the rooms they passed seemed to have any important information in them. Having a secret facility wasn't enough for an investigation! It was just aesthetic as fuck!

They aimleesly stumbled around for at least half an hour as they got to the parts the blueprints hadn't showed. They probably walked in circles a few times too. Roman was about to suggest they call up Q when he saw guards, armed guards, out of the corner of his eyes.

He threw out his arm to stop Remus and dragged him back to hide behind a wall. He peeked out and saw how the 2 guards were staying outside a door.

"Bingo" He whispered. He turned to his twin "Wherever there are guards are the important things"

"The juicy secrets!" Remus agreed.

The brothers got out from their hidingspot at the same time. They tried to look casual while walking up to the guards. Right when one of the guards moved to stop them, to ask who they were, Roman took out his gun and shot them in the knee.

Remus elbowed the other guard right between his ribs before pulling his arm around the guard's neck. It didn't take long before he let the guard collapse onto the ground after choking him to unconsciousness.

The other guard feeble sat on the ground with their hands pressed to the wound on their knee. Roman held his gun to their head "Give us the key to the room"

They didn't even hesitate to throw the key over to Remus. They looked up at Roman with pleading eyes. With one swift kick they too laid on the ground knocked out.

The brothers pushed the guards to a good hiding spot in silence. The door opened reveleaing a quite small room but it was filled with computers, databases and of course at least 10 people working on those computers.

All it took was Roman holding up his gun to one of them to make the others freeze in fear. It was very clear that they were just doing their job so Remus tried to go as nice on them as possible when he knocked them out.

"Remind me to request instant sleeping pills from Q" He said after the last one laid still on the ground.

"Noted" Roman replied while barricading the door so no one could get in.

Remus glared at the computer with the biggest screen. He tried to read what was on it but only got a headache and some scattered words. Roman gently pushed him aside.

"It's probably better if I try to find what these guys are up to and you stand guard. Please try to not let me get shot"

"I'll do my worst! Maybe I'll even shoot you myself!" Remus joked.

He looked through the room while hearing Roman mumbling to Q about decoding and taking down firewalls. It didn't take long to realize there was actually a second door in the room. He wasn't sure where it lead but decided to barricade it as well.

"You're still free on Saturday right?" Roman suddenly asked while waiting for Q to hack into the database for him.

Remus rolled his eyes "Nah dude I suddenly got loads of friends and we're all gonna go raid a cemetery and create a zombie army. Supa busy that day sorry"

"Ha Ha" He let out druly "Well the new mission impossible movie is coming out so I kinda thought we could go see it. Y'know cinema caturday like we used to do"

"Oh yeah using our free time away from our spy work to watch a spy movie. Real smart decision Ro-bro"

"It can some other movie! I just wanted to do something" Roman slumped back against the desk so he was leaning on it "I know I've been kinda busy like whenever we're not on missions with the whole theater work-"

"Kinda?!" Remus let out a scratchy laugh "Bro you've been going to that theater like you'll turn to dust if you're not there all the time"

Roman plucked at the green bead bracelet on his wrist "Well it's exciting! I never really thought I could wokr with anything that didn't involve fighting or smugling. It's...nice..getting to do something else. I can't wait until it's time for the premiere and I'll actually get to hear the audience"

"Let's just hope no villain decides to try and take over the world during your perfomance nights" Remus joked. Roman's expression went from excitement to worry "Ro-bro I was kidding. I'm sure if anything happens I can just go with 0012 or something- or I mean like I'll come see you of course I just- It'll be chill!"

There came a silence. There always came a silence after talking about the theater thing. Spending an entire childhood learning about jewel smuggling, self defense and the innerworks of crime made any kind of work that didn't involve any of those shocking enough to warrant silence. Especially after it was Roman's idea to start working at the MI6 as soon as they moved away from their mom and the floating palace at 18.

He'd wanted to be a hero. Remus had just wanted to stay close with his brother.

"But yeah I guess I'm free on Saturday if you wanna go see that movie or whatever" Remus muttered while glancing over to his brother "More surprised that you're not busy honestly"

"Oh I was! Some friends from the theater heard I would get back from 'work' soon and wanted to hang out and I still got that guy who wants to go on a date with me as soon as possible and some guys from the Q branch asked me to test some gadgets for them. But I made sure to clear time in case you said yes" Roman replied with a smile.

"That's....That's....Ro-bro you're a sappy dork you know that right?"

"Of course! That's part of my everlasting and undying charm!"

The conversation was forcibly stopped as Q announced that the code was cracked. Roman flapped his hands in excitement to see the movie, Remus flapped back. They both turned back to what they were doing.

The duke to his surprise noticed a small crack in the wall right next to the door. He couldn't stop his curiosity from taking the better of him and looking through.

On the other side was a big room. There was a long dinner table in the middle with excessive amounts of expensive food on it. There were crystal candelabras hanging from the ceiling. The walls were white just like the floor but there were old paintings decorating the walls.

Most importantly there were 4 people in it. 3 men who looked to be at least 40. All of them were wearing suits but one of them was sitting in a chair by the luxurious table in a glistening dark purple suit. The other two were standing by the table with briefcases gripped in their shaking hands. Remus could see the sweat from nervousness dripping down their neck all the way from where he stood.

Last and least was the fourth person. A young boy, he was at the most 9 years old, sat on another chair by the table. He was holding the hand of the older man. His eyes were hidden by his hair and he had a large hoodie on.

"-So even though there has been someone selling important information about my company you two are 100% certaint that neither of you have destroyed my trust?" The man clad in purple asked.

The two men quickly shook their head. The purple clad man, who happened to be the leader of the Enfuel company, shone up into a wide grin. It was too wide. Too eerie. Not happy. Just sinister.

"How wonderful! I knew I could trust you both!" The leader took out a gun and shot one of the men in the leg.

He fell down on the ground and writhed in pain. The young boy let out a scream and flinched away. The other man bolted for the closest door which instantly made Remus take out a knife and get ready to defend Roman. But before he could get anywhere the leader had pressed a button on his chair which made all doors lock.

"I heard that the MI6 were on to us because of you fools running your mouths" The leader said while standing up. Remus nearly chuckled at how right he was.

The shot man simply cried while the other got down on his knees and begged "Please please I'll do anything. I have a family. I have 2 kids. I can- please don't kill me"

"How funny, I have a kid too" The leader held out his hand "Son come here"

The young boy quickly ran over and took his dad's hand. He was already crying. When the gun was reloaded he turned his head to look away. It resulted in the leader grabbing onto his son's head and dragging in it so he was forced to look at the helpless men, soon to be corpses. Remus could hear the boy whimper from pain.

"Do I-I h-have to see ev-every time?" He cried out.

"Until you learn to stop crying over some insect's death, Yes. These people are traitors. They're beneath us because they have hurt us. You have to see what we do to people who hurt us"

A bullet went off. One of the men collapsed dead on the floor. The other desperately crawled away until he hit the wall. The young boy's crying turned into sobs.

"You should be used to it by now" His dad said in a calm tone.

The leader forced the gun into his son's shaking hands. He held onto his hands so he couldn't let go. He moved his hands for him, reloaded the gun for him, held the gun to the living man's forehead for him. The young boy's entire body was shaking from fear. He closed his eyes. Pretended like the cold metal wasn't in his hands. Pretended like he wasn't one move of his finger away from taking a life.

"Open your eyes son" The leader commanded "You have to see. See the fear in his eyes. That is the look of a dead man. We could ask anything of him"

"I-I want him t-to live. P-Please dad w-we can send-d him to the b-bad room instead"

"The bad rooms are for those who are of use to us. This man has nothing for us"

A hand landed on Remus' shoulder. He turned around and pointed the knife at the person's neck. Thankfully it was just Roman.

"The files are all here" Ro informed while holding up an USB drive. He had on a strained expression "It's sick. Q told you they made it so Enfuel was the only company avaible for like an entire part of Latvia right?"

"I wasn't listening but probably yeah"

"They're planning to make all electricy and fuel unaviable for those cities for months. And they're going to make it look like an accident so they won't even have to take accountability. They're planning to try and completely cut them off from the rest of the world"

"People are gonna die" Remus concluded.

"Bet"

"Why the fuck would someone even do that?"

Roman shrugged "Said nothing about that. At least we can stop it if we know it will happen. All we have to do is get out of here and get it to M"

Remus was about to nod but then he heard muffled sounds from the other room. He closed his hands into fists. There was a cold lump stuck in his throat.

"There's a kid here. Like 8? 9 maybe? Being made to hold a gun" He whispered.

"Mom teached us how to use pistols at 12" Roman replied with a shrug.

"She made us shoot at targets" Their mom is a very powerful lady so they had to know how to defend themself since so many people wanted to hurt them to get to their mom "This is-"

A gunshot went off. Gutwrenching screaming followed. It sounded like it came from the boy. Soon sobbing took over.

"Don't cry like that. You weren't even the one pulling the trigger" His dad snarled out.

The brothers at looked each other. They both knew that the mission was hundreds of times more important than one kid but....with that one look they both knew they had to do something.

"Okay new mission" Remus said "Protect the kid"

They searched the room and found an entrance to the vents in the roof. They climbed in and crawled as quietly as possible until they could see down into the other room. The leader had gone back to sitting by the table, he was drinking some wine. The son was still sitting by one of the corpses. His sobs was racking his whole body as he held onto the dead body. Quiet beggings to wake up could be heard.

The brothers took out their guns in anticipation. Remus slammed his foot down into the vent panel and jumped down onto the ground. He jumped back up on his feet and held the gun to the leader's head.

Roman was just as quick with getting down. He went over to the kid and hunched down in front of him, half to comfort him and half to be a human shield.

"It's okay now kid. We won't hurt you. We'll get you out of here. I promise" He whispered to him while sending him a warm smile.

He was full on hyperventilating "No. No. Please. Get out. I don't- dad will- I don't want to have to see anyone else die- I don't want to hurt anyone- please- NoNoNoNo"

"Shhh. No one will be hurt. Just focus on my breathing okay. In and out. Deep breathes. You'll be safe soon" Roman assured. He kept one hand on the young boy's shoulder and the other hand on his gun.

Remus held the gun as still as possible against the leader's forehead. The older man didn't look away even for a second. His cold blue eyes stared at him until it felt like he was digging into him. The agent tried to glance around for a clear exit. At best he saw another entrance to the vents close to the wall on the side of the room.

"I've buried people like you before" The leader let out in a dry emotionless tone. "Even if you do get anyway it won't do much. All of the evidence will be gone except for a meek little plan I can easily manipulate away in court. You're really just delaying the inevitable"

"Not letting people die isn't doing nothing" Remus snarled back.

A smile crept up on his face "Letting people die does just a little"

He pressed down on a hidden panel on his chair. All Remus could see was that it was some sort of controller before hearing a muffled shout. He spun around in time to see Roman sitting with his arms around the kid. Blood was seeping out of his shoulder.

By the press of a button a panel on the wall had turned around and a mechanic gun had become visible, useable too via the panel. The gun head moved again, readjusting it's line of sight.

Logically Remus should have moved his gun back towards the leader's head. Logically he should have shot his brains out. Logically he shouldn't have made a single sound. Logically he shouldn't have shown any ounce of care or emotion (weakness), it'd been drilled into them during training after all.

But Remus wasn't thinking logically. His brother was hurt. His brother was in danger. He had to protect him.

A guttural sound of terror left his throat. It sounded like something close to his brother's name. He wasn't fast enough. There was nothing he could. He watched as the bullet went into Roman's chest.

Remus didn't reach him. There was a hit to the back of his head. The hit was hard enough to make it feel like his brain split apart. He was already unconscious as he fell down on the ground. He was just close enough so the blood from his brother reached him.

--

The moment Remus awakened again his heart immediately began to beat fast enough so he could hear it. He wanted to yell out for his brother before he'd even had time to open his eyes.

The fear calmed won just a bit when he did look up and saw Roman, thank god he saw Roman, laying next to him. He didn't calm down completely because his brother was visibly hurt. Hurt badly.

There were swelling on his cheeks from soon to be bruises and his right eye had closed completely from a black eye. Blood had dried around the wound on his shoulder and the one on his chest was still bleeding. Thankfully it hadn't hit his heart but it was still heavily bleeding. The kid's hoodie had been pressed against the wound. His left leg from the knee down had been mangled and turned the wrong way.

Remus had rope tied around his wrists and ankles. They hadn't even bothered to tie Roman's ankles. Even with all the injuries his twin tried to send him a weak smile.

"don't speak too loudly" He whispered out. His breathing was uneven and raspy.

Normally Remus would have screeched in defiance. Now he glanced around the room while making his every move as quiet as possible.

The leader and his son were still in the room. The leader was polishing a knife. There were multiple knives and other gratuitous tools laid out across the table. Oh god he'd only kept them alive to make them suffer until death as much as possible.

When he turned back to Roman there were tears in his brother's eyes. His smile was strained.

"I was going to resign"

Roman let out a sob as his smile disappeared. It only left an expression filled with pain.

"I-I never really wanted t-this! I just- I didn't know what else I would be. Re I was planning to make this my last mission. I don't know if I want to be an actor. But fuck at least I-I want to be an actor ten times more than I want to be an agent"

Remus tried to move closer. He wanted to reach out and hold his brother. Comfort him. Tell him half the things he said didn't make sense.

"You- What-" He let out a nervous chuckle "Ro-bro what are you talking about?"

At first there was no reply. Just a choked back sob. Roman moved closer and stared at the ropes around Remus' wrists. Anything was better than looking at his face. He moved his hands to try and untangle the ropes.

"You have to hug mom for me. And tell her I love her. And hug Lucy a-and Macey and Amita-" Roman closed his eyes, tried to force back another wave of tears "-And Everyone on the island. All of them. And the people at the theater. A-And everyone in Q branch a-and Oh god Q. Please hug Q- Logan. Hug Logan for me. Please. And Patton and M even though he will hate it. Please. I wish I'd known. I just want to be able to say goodbye at least. I just-"

"Shut up you dork. We're getting out of here. I'll just carry you. What's some old weak boned guy and some kid gonna do against us"

Roman glanced up at him, just for a moment, before going back to the ropes.

"Remus I-"

He coughed. His entire body shook and writhed in pain. He ignored it and continued with the ropes. Blood was coming down his lips. He was coughing up blood.

"Remus-"

Roman met his eyes this time. He didn't have to say anything more. They both knew it. Even if one of them didn't want to accept it. It'd taken at least an hour to drive here. He wasn't going to make it unless he got medical help within the next minutes. He wasn't going to- He wasn't-

Roman wasn't going to make it.

"You can't- I- I'm sure- I can-" Remus stuttered out.

"You need to take the information and get back to M alive" He pulled the ropes away from Remus' wrists "There's a vent right above us. The bitchass dragon witch is too busy with torture devices to look at us. If you go now you can-"

"You will-"

"Remus I'm already dead! The kid isn't being saved either! He's stuck here! We failed! The least you can do is try to stop more death!"

"But you will-"

"Please I need you to survive" Roman pressed the USB drive into his hands. His hands were shaking "I-I'm trying to stay strong to make this easier for you b-but-" He let out a shakey sob "I just want to hug mom again. I want us to-to- I- I need you to survive. I need you to stay alive. Please. If I know you survive I can attempt to die in peace. I can't- I can't-" It continued into incoherent sobbing.

They couldn't hug each other, the leader would realize they were awake if they did. All they could do was press their hands together. They held onto each other's hands so tightly it hurt. Neither wanted to let go.

"....I love you...I wish- I don't- I just want you to- I love you" Remus choked out through tears.

Somehow Roman mustered a smile "I love you too" He wiped a tear away from his twin's cheek "I'm sorry. I wish I could stay with you. Please go. Please survive"

Remus tightened his grip on his hand for one last second. He wished he could drag it out. Even Continuing to exists in this moment of misery sounded better than spending the rest of his life without him.

He forced his hands away and sat up. Heuntied the ropes around his ancles in one rushed pull. He heard a yell from behind him. He jumped up and grabbed onto the vent. A bullet went past him as he climbed in.

He continued to cry as he hurried away. He kept the USB drive in his mouth. It felt like a part of him had been ripped out. A big part. A part he needed to live.

(He wished he'd never noticed the crack in the wall. He wished he'd just left the kid to be abused. He was horrible. He just wanted his brother to be okay)

It should have been him who was left for dead. Roman had so many more people who would mourn him. He had had a future. Goals. Dreams. Relationships. Remus was replacable.

Remus pushed himself out of the vent. His lungs were burning. He was numb. There were so many emotions he'd overloaded. He couldn't even feel the cold against his skin. Only the tears against his cheeks.

He escaped the facility and ran. In the distance he could see the car. He wanted to die. He couldn't imagine a life without his brother. Roman was the one who was supposed to come back with the information to save people. Roman was the hero! It wasn't fair!

Remus wanted to stop and let the guards catch up to him. Wanted to let himself scream and sob and be killed. Wanted to hug his brother again even if the only way to hug him was if they were both dead.

Instead he forced himself survive but only because it'd been Roman's wish.

[panda-noosh]

Could you possibly write a Remus Lupin x Slytherin reader? Possibly where they were partnered up for a project (potions?) and maybe readers all cold towards him but eventually warms up to him? And everyone’s skeptical of their relationship but she does something that shows just how much she loves him. Maybe him telling reader he’s a werewolf? Idk, I love your writing and I can’t wait to see if you like this request! 💙

It's weird how your relationship with Remus Lupin started with you hating him.

  Hate is a strong word. It was more dislike, but not because he had done anything wrong. Remus Lupin, though he hung out with the Bad Kids, was the definition of a Try Hard. He did all his homework, showed up to class on time, sucked up to teachers because – according to him – he knows how hard they have it. He was one of them students that acted sixty years too old. He was smart, and confident, and he had a smile that lit up the hallways better than any lumos spell ever could.

  But he was also a Gryffindor.

  That was the kicker back in the day. Slytherin and Gryffindor were just never meant to mingle, and that's the hill you were fully prepared to die on. Even when Professor Slughorn put you and Remus together for a project in potions class.

  People snickered when you approached his desk. He was sat with his back ramrod straight, shoulders drawn, his raggedy robes straight and pristine. You remember him giving you a smile when you made eye contact, remember the butterflies that gripped your stomach, remember shoving them away as soon as possible.

  You sat down beside him and pulled out your books. Remus watched you, his lips still twitched into the tiniest of smiles that only widened when he realised you were looking right back at him; the only different being, you were scowling.

  “Do you want me to do the work?” you asked. “We don't have to talk.”

  Remus tilted his head.

  You rolled your eyes. “Don't act dumb, Lupin. Your mates aren't exactly gonna go easy on you if they know you're being all chummy with a Slytherin.”

   Remus raised a brow, glancing over his shoulder at Sirius and James, both of whom had their heads ducked over a steaming couldron; James's glasses were much too steamed up for him to even notice you and Remus, and Sirius was too busy trying to read the ingredients to care about anything else.

  Remus turned back to you. “I think it's alright.”

  You slumped down in the seat next to him, pulling the potions book towards you. It was a simple potion, you remember, but you had never been too good with potions in general; you never knew how many times to stir them, even though it clearly stated it in every recipe. Slughorn always gave you the disappointed head shake and extra homework. Or, to make matters worse, he partnered you up with Gryffindors to see if that would help the situation.

  “I'm Remus Lupin, by the way.”

  Your head snapped up. “Huh?”

  “Remus Lupin? That's me. I realised we never introduced ourselves.” You stared at him, mouth slightly open. Remus chuckled and shrugged. “Well, not formally.”

  “Uh, no. No, you're right. We didn't.”

  Remus paused, staring at you expectantly.

“Oh, right, yeah. I'm Y/N. Y/N L/N. Slytherin.”

  “Oh yes. I forgot you Slytherin's always have to announce your house when you introduce yourselves.”

   You narrowed your eyes, ignoring the brush of his fingers against yours as he tugged the book back to his space. “Is that a bad thing?”

  “To have House pride? Absolutely not.” He glanced at you through the corner of his eye. “To think you're better than everybody else just because of your House? That's a different matter.”

  “Who said I thought I was better than anyone else?”

   “Who said I was talking about you?”

    You folded your arms over your chest. “You Gryffindors think you know everything; you don't. You don't know the first bloody thing about me.”

   “I know your name,” Remus replied casually. “And now I know you're in Slytherin...”

  You groaned and slapped his arm. Remus chuckled, and you remember the noise reminding you of honey drizzled over a delicious dessert or something weird like that. It was only for a moment, a space of time in which you blanked out and just focused on that noise, slightly hoarse, totally rare because usually, anything Lupin said was overshadowed by the boisterous comments of his two best friends.

  You shook yourself out of it as fast as possible, turning back to the task at hand. You would get this potion finished, and then you could move on. You would never have to speak to Remus – or another Gryffindor – ever again.

  But that's really not how it turned out.

  After that initial potions class, Remus appeared everywhere. He was like a curse. You told him this a few years after leaving Hogwarts, and he had laughed until his side hurt and tears were falling down his face. But at the time, it really was exactly like that. Every corner, Remus was stood. Every class, Remus was present. Every glance across the Great Hall, Remus would meet you halfway.

  It became exhausting until you finally spoke to each other again, and then it was a little easier. He was really easy to speak to, which was a surprise, considering he still had that slightly superior lilt to his voice, and that annoying trait known as Being a Gryffindor. You sometimes found yourself reminding him that you were a Slytherin, not a four year old, and he could talk to you like a human being every once in a while. These little warnings always flustered him, but instead of finding it amusing, it kind of warmed your heart – he was putting in the effort. He was catching more and more of his demeaning mistakes and trying to fix them, and you could appreciate that. It was more than any other Gryffindor had ever done for you.

  It was your sixth year when Remus finally asked you out.

  Two years of constant back and forth, talking to him at the back of classrooms and in dark little alleyways that James and Sirius found suspicious, but really were nothing more than platonic rendezvous'. By your sixth year, it was obvious you liked each other, even to the two of you. There was none of that old school Oh my god, I hope he likes me bullshit – you knew he had feelings for you, and he knew you had feelings for him, and by your sixth year, it became a task of just. . . asking each other out. It was the question of who was going to make the first move.

  And it was Remus, as you hoped it would be. You were beginning to lose restraint every time you saw him, having to cut the meetings short just to stop yourself from grabbing his face and kissing him.

  He asked you very politely, as was Remus's way. Holding your hands, probably thinking up some romantic poem he could spit out to settle the mood, even though he knew full well you would probably laugh. To this day, he still insists he never once thought of reciting poetry to you, but you fail to believe him. Nonetheless, he had said the magic words of “Will you go out with me?” and you had said yes, and later on he had kissed you good night, a pleasant little peck on the lips that made everything real.

  Things were difficult. You can't deny that, but you also can't claim it was a surprise. James, Sirius and Peter accepted the relationship with open arms, but the Slytherins jostled and joked with you, calling you a traitor to your house because you came to bed every night grinning from ear to ear with the smell of Remus's cologne on your robes. It got to you a few times, but Remus was always there to remind you that none of it mattered – not really. This was high school, for crying out loud. Give it another few months and you wouldn't even be thinking of these people again, and he was right in that respect. You can't even name half of them now; no one but the Death Eaters.

  But there were comments. Little ones that wiggled their way into your brain and made you second guess everything, which was rare for a Slytherin back then. Maybe they've evolved since your school days, but Slytherins were known for being confident in their own decisions. They didn't second guess anything. They were too stubborn to do that.

  But hearing people say Remus didn't love you so many times over, giving you detailed reasons – it was hard to ignore. It was hard not to listen.

  You remember the night you broke down. You and Remus were walking across the gardens in the winter, the early night being the perfect backdrop for such a firey scene. James and Sirius had waved you both off, but your mind was elsewhere, and Remus could tell. He could always tell. He was good at that intuitive stuff.

  He took your hand, startling you out of a daydream that was the only thing keeping you from completely breaking down. You looked over to see his feathery eyebrows arched, a tiny frown playing on his lips. That crease was between his brows, the one he still gets when he's confused or worried, the one you always flatten with your thumb before giving him a kiss to settle whatever nerves he is feeling. Back then, however, you slipped your hand from his and tucked it in your robes.

  Remus inhaled sharply, startled by the rejection but not pushing you any further than you wanted to go. “Are you alright?” His famous words.

  “I'm fine,” you replied. Your famous words.

  “You've been acting weird since lunch. You can talk to me if you want.”

  “I don't have anything to talk about.”

  “You always have something to talk about. You haven't even told me how your potions exam went-”

  “I probably failed.”

  “You never fail.”

  “There you go again, acting like you know everything.”

  Remus raised a brow, stopping dead in his tracks. You looked to the floor, biting your bottom lip, trying to draw your unnecessary anger back into your body, but it was so, so difficult with the Slytherins' comments whirling around in your brain.

  “Right,” Remus drawled. “Something's clearly bothering you.” He grabbed your arm, drawing you back gently. He was always gentle, even back then. “What's wrong?”

  You looked him in the eyes, confident and bold, just as you were meant to be. “Is this a mistake?”

  His grip slackened for only a second before his thumb started rubbing circles into your arm. “W-what are you on about?”

  “This. Us. Is it – like – stupid to think it could work?”

  “Y/N, where the hell is this coming from?”

  You tugged your arm from his grip, nearly stumbling. The tears hit you unexpectedly, making you feel so daft, because you had always been told never to cry over a boy. Relationships in high school were never meant to work out – that was the unwritten rule. That was how the world worked.

  “I don't know,” you choked out, swiping a heavy hand across your eyes. “People in the common room have just been talking, and they said you've been really secretive recently, and you're probably cheating on me-”

  Remus grabbed your arms, bundling you against his chest. He was trembling, either from cold or nerves, you didn't know, and you still don't know, because you and Remus don't like to talk about how you were both feeling in those moments. You describe the setting and the situation, but not the internal things – those are too dark to describe, even to the person you love.

  “Stop,” he whispered against your hair. “Don't believe a word they say. You know I'm better than that. You know me, Y/N.”

  You closed your eyes, letting the tears slip into the fabric of his robes. “But it just makes so much sense. You have been shifty lately, and we're so different from each other, I wouldn't even be surprised if-”

  “I love you.”

  You jerked back. That was the first time he'd ever said it, and maybe he didn't mean it in the moment. You were both exceptionally young, didn't really know what love was, but he said it and it made your heart jump because no one – no one – had ever said it to you so firmly before.

  He met your eyes and laughed, a sound of disbelief. “Yeah. Yes, Y/N, I love you. More than anything. So – so you have to believe me when I tell you that there's more to it than just. . . just me acting shifty.”

   “What is it, Lupin?” you demanded. “Because I can't get it out of my head that you're sneaking around, keeping secrets from me when I tell you everything. You're the one person in this entire world who I trust more than anything, and it just fucks with my brain to know you don't feel the same way-”

 “I was bitten.”

  Such a tense moment. Life changing, both for you and Remus. There was a moments silence, like you were mourning a death or something. Around you, the night felt so loud, the crickets in the grass suddenly ten times louder, the brush of tree leaves against your ankles now sounding like sandpaper against concrete. Remus stirred a little bit, a sober drunkard, and you leaped forward and grabbed his shoulders before he could topple over.

  “Bitten?” you said, still holding him up, even though he was perfectly fine by that point. “Remus, bitten? What do you mean?”

  “Bitten,” he repeated. “Teeth. Claws. Wolf. That kind of thing.”

  Your stomach turned. Half of you was screaming to turn and run, get to safety because there was no way in hell anybody bitten by a werewolf was safe to be around.

  But then you focused on the feel of his shoulders beneath your palms, and his warm breath against your face, and you remembered those nights where he would softly kiss your lips, pull away, see if you wanted more before giving you exactly what your face portrayed – more.

  You had meant it when you said you trusted him with everything. He was your everything at that point, even so early on in the relationship, and maybe a part of it had to do with the fact that everyone else doubted you would ever make it as a couple. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor wasn't possible. Maybe, in the beginning, you just wanted to prove that you could do whatever you wanted. However, it morphed into something completely different over time, to the point where the thought of running away from him because of this news was just ludicrous, out of the question.

  Instead, you squeezed his shoulders and said, “Okay. Okay. I – uh – I understand now.”

  His eyes had softened, tears trekking down his face, glistening like melted iron in the moonlight. He shook his head a few times, but you grabbed his jaw and held him still, pressing tiny kisses to his cheeks and his nose and his lips as his shoulders shook.

  “I'm serious, Remus. It's okay. Everything is okay.”

   “I'm a monster,” he grumbled, and in that moment, you could hear the growl to his voice, the wolf inside him ready to burst.

  You held him tighter.

  “You're perfect,” you whispered into his hair, already greying at the age of seventeen. “I've got you, Remus. I'm not going anywhere.”

 And you never did.

  You left school holding his hand. You got married, a cheap wedding that was more just the signing of papers than a massive ceremony, but it was perfect nonetheless. You supported him through his struggles back then, and you continue supporting him now. You don't have any intentions of stopping.

[aidanchaser]

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero

Chapter Fifteen The Quidditch Final

Dear Mum and Dad,

I can’t wait to see you at the Quidditch final. I’m nervous we won’t be able to win the cup, but it should be a good match. It’ll be nice to actually finish the season for once, though I suppose I shouldn’t jinx it.

I’ve never had so much school work, though! Electives are hard, and Quidditch practice nearly every night, and Remus is still helping me with the patronus charm, but we’ve had to take a break over the Easter holidays. Mostly I’m just glad that we don’t have to sit through class with Snape again, and Remus can get better without worrying about his classes.

Still, it hardly feels like a break. Teachers have us cramming for exams like crazy. Hermione’s just about to crack under the pressure, or she already has. She slapped Malfoy the other day. It was great, and he deserved it, but it was just surprising from her. Then she missed Charms class — said she just forgot to go — then she stormed out of Divination and I don’t think she’s ever going back to that class. I almost wish I’d quit with her, but I heard we do star charts next year, and I really want to learn about that. As long as Trelawney gets over predicting my death every class.

Do you guys have any influence in the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures? Hagrid seems really sure they’re going to decide to execute Buckbeak at the appeal, but Buckbeak didn’t actually do anything wrong. Malfoy was the one who provoked him. You guys know people at the Ministry, right? Can you fix it?

See you soon!

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

The morning of the Qudditch match arrived, and Harry woke up with his stomach in more knots than a captive hydra. He almost couldn’t believe he was actually going to be playing in the Quidditch final. His first year, he’d been hospitalized from his fight with Voldemort. His second year, Quidditch had been canceled because Hermione and Penelope Clearwater had been attacked by the school’s resident basilisk.

Harry desperately prayed nothing would interrupt this year’s Quidditch final. He was afraid Oliver Wood might die of heartbreak if Gryffindor didn’t win the Quidditch cup.

It was still early, and Harry found himself unable to go back to sleep, so he got up for a drink of water. He glanced out the window to check the weather, and was pleased to find a clear, sunny day. The trees weren’t moving at all. A perfect day for a Quidditch game.

Then, just on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, Harry saw a large black dog. He frowned. What was Sirius doing out here? He had assumed Sirius would arrive with his parents, and there was no reason for them to be here this early. Was Sirius alright, running around the Hogwarts grounds with the dementors so close?

Then Harry saw Crookshanks and Llewellyn walk up beside Sirius. Were Llewellyn and Crookshanks friends now? What was Sirius doing with Ginny and Hermione’s cats? Harry briefly wondered if maybe that dog wasn’t Sirius at all, but a real over-sized black dog. Or maybe it was the actual Grim. But would either of those options be out for a morning stroll with some cats?

Harry watched the animals disappear over the hill near the Shrieking Shack. But Remus wouldn’t be there. The full moon wasn’t until Wednesday.

Harry took another drink of water and spent the rest of the morning puzzling over Sirius. Even when he went down to breakfast, he couldn’t get it off his mind. He nibbled on his toast half-heartedly. Wood arrived, looking almost as nervous as he had on the game the first day of the year. He repeated to Harry, as he had been all week, “Fifty points, remember. Don’t catch the Snitch unless —”

“Unless we’re up at least fifty points,” Harry said. “I remember.”

Ron sat next to him and clapped him on the shoulder, just after he took a sip of juice. Harry nearly spit it out on the table. He choked it down and wiped his chin.

“You’ll do fine, mate,” Ron said. “You can relax.”

Harry coughed and grinned at Ron. “Thanks.”

He wished he could tell Ron what he’d seen this morning, and what he was really concerned about, but that would mean explaining about Sirius, and then he’d have to explain why he hadn’t told Ron the truth about the Grim the other night.

Harry still wasn’t sure he could tell Ron about Remus. And besides, it wasn’t Harry’s secret to tell. It was Remus’s.

Lily and James arrived shortly after Harry and Ron had finished eating. James was just polishing off a chocolate bar as Harry ran to greet them.

“Good day for flying, eh?” James said as he pulled Harry into a hug.

“Should be,” Harry agreed. “Where’s Sirius at?”

“Came in with us from Hogsmeade,” James said, “but went to get Remus. I’m sure they’ll be along.”

“And how’s Ron?” Lily asked. “Molly asked us to be sure we checked in on him and Ginny, after that scare with Regulus Black.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Potter,” Ron said, coming up behind Harry. “And Ginny’s fine, too. Flying and everything.”

“Flying?” Lily said with a raised eyebrow.

“Just an expression,” Harry quickly said. “Y’know, for doing well.”

Lily didn’t look convinced, and James looked impressed. It was obvious their lie hadn’t convinced anyone of anything.

Harry groped quickly for another line of conversation, but then he felt a light hand on his shoulder that sent a sort of electric shock down his spine.

“Good luck, Harry,” Cho Chang said, as she passed him, and smiled.

“You too,” Harry managed to stammer out. His tongue felt like lead and his stomach felt like he’d swallowed a doxy.

“Who’s that?” James asked with a twinkle in his eye, as they started towards the Entrance Hall.

“The Ravenclaw Seeker,” Harry managed to say.

Lily hummed thoughtfully and James laughed, but quickly turned it into a cough. Harry didn’t know why, but he was embarrassed.

As soon as they were outside, he said, “I’m going to go change,” and ran for the locker room.

Lily linked her hand with James. “You know you used to look at me that way, in fifth year.”

“I believe at one point I told you your hair was red, because I couldn’t think of anything else to say,” James laughed.

Lily glanced over her shoulder at Ron, who had fallen in step with Neville, Ginny, Hermione, and a blonde girl Lily hadn’t met yet. She wondered where Dean and Seamus were, then she saw the boys coming up over the hill, carrying a large, rolled up banner.

Harry had good friends, she thought, and she was glad to know he was happy here at school. Even if she did have to worry, constantly, that he was in danger, she didn’t have to worry about how happy he was. There was a wonderful relief in that, and she leaned her head affectionately on James’s shoulder.

He didn’t ask where her contented sigh came from, but wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

They found Hagrid in the stands, and Lily told him they had spoken to everyone they knew at the Ministry, but she wasn’t sure what they could do for his hippogriff case. James offered his condolences.

Remus and Sirius arrived shortly. Remus looked wan, but they were just a few days from the full moon. Lily hoped the stress of teaching wasn’t making Remus’s condition any worse.

“Remus,” James said, and leaned around Lily to ask quietly, “do you know who the Ravenclaw Seeker is?”

Remus had to think for a moment. “I believe it’s Cho Chang. She’s in fourth year. Struggles with Defense, but she’s come a long way this year, and Professor Flitwick praises her Charms, but I can’t tell you how good at Quidditch she is.”

“She rides a Comet 260,” Sirius laughed, gesturing to the field as the players came out of the locker rooms. “Harry will fly loops around her.”

But that didn’t seem to interest James, and Lily playfully nudged him with her elbow. “Let him be. If he likes, her he likes her.”

“I just wanted to know if we should get an extra ticket to the Quidditch World Cup this summer,” James said, as the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw captains shook hands.

“Harry has three tickets he can share with whomever he likes.”

This did not seem to ease James’s agitation any further, which amused Lily. She hadn’t expected James to get so involved in Harry’s first crush, and from Lily’s perspective, it didn’t even seem serious. Maybe James, who had been obsessed with one girl for seven years, didn’t understand the concept of passing fancies.

She pinched the underside of his arm gently. “Worry about the game, and let Harry worry about who he likes.”

“Ravenclaw’s currently in the lead by two hundred points,” Remus said, recognizing Lily’s effort to distract James. “So if they want to win the Cup as well as the game, Harry will have to wait to catch the Snitch.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Harry shot straight towards the Slytherin goal posts. Cho followed immediately, and Sirius laughed.

Lily didn’t understand until Harry looped back around, then up, and then Cho drifted off of his heels. “He feinted,” she said with a laugh.

“They were only twenty points up,” James said. “He couldn’t catch the Snitch and he couldn’t let her catch it. It was a smart move.”

Lily was glad James’s mind was turned to the game, and she cheered loudly as Angelina Johnson scored.

It was nice to watch a game where Harry’s broom wasn’t jinxed, and the threat of dementors seemed minimal on such a lovely day. Still, she kept a hand on her wand inside her coat pocket, just in case, and the other one in James’s hand.

The score was seventy to twenty, Gryffindor leading, when Harry suddenly bolted upwards. Sirius and James jumped to their feet, Lily pulled with him, but Cho was suddenly between Harry and the Snitch and Harry swerved quickly to avoid hitting her.

Lily heard Oliver Wood yell something at Harry, but she couldn’t make out his words over all the cheering on the Ravenclaw side of the stadium.

She sat back down, but James and Sirius stayed standing, focused entirely on the game.

She took the quiet moment with Remus to ask how his classes were going.

“Well,” he said. “They’re remarkable students, really. Yesterday, Christian and Anne were silent dueling and it was really incredible. They’ve come such a long way. Just a few months ago, Anne could barely cast a silent Leviosa. Now she can compete against the seventh years with ease.”

“The Thelborne siblings? Good for them,” Lily said with a smile. “I hope they didn’t get too wild with each other. Christian can be rough with his sister.”

“Not at all. He has the makings of a professional dueler, really. And the first years are wonderful,” Remus continued. “Still so eager to learn. They’ve nearly caught up to where I started the second years. They’ll be able to get ahead for next year, which will be good for them, I think. The other students have had such a struggle with the scattered curriculum, but the first years are entirely unaffected.”

Lily listened to Remus and it almost made her miss teaching. Almost. She was happier at home with James than anywhere else, and she couldn’t imagine how she’d be doing with all this Regulus Black business if she was stuck at school, but she was glad to hear that Remus had taken so well to teaching. She’d always known he’d be good at it.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” she finally said, as Remus finished telling her about the third years’ vampire essays.

“I really am,” he said, his cheeks a little pink. “I always thought, well — Dumbledore was desperate for a teacher. If the parents knew —”

“If the parents knew how much the teacher cared for their children, they’d be happy to have you there.”

Suddenly, the entire crowd was on their feet, and Lily and Remus stood too. Harry was on Cho Chang’s tail, both diving for the Snitch, just barely visible to the audience as a glimmer of gold in the grass.

Lily screamed encouragement to Harry until her throat hurt. His broom just barely eclipsed Cho’s as they approached the Snitch, then Harry turned up sharply, holding the Snitch in his hand over his head. Cho, broom unable to make such a sharp turn, skidded into the grass.

The crowds swamped the pitch. Lily, James, Remus, and Sirius all joined in, pushing their way through the crowd to congratulate Harry.

Oliver Wood was there, holding the Quidditch Cup, and with cheeks streaked with tears of joy, passed the cup to Harry.

Harry couldn’t stop smiling. He held the cup as high as he’d held the Snitch while Gryffindor cheered. He hugged each of his parents, and Sirius and Uncle Remus, and couldn’t think of a happier moment in his life.

[tonkswyrda]

Im sorry but this makes me very mad I will die on this hill with my OTP

Tonks is one of the youngest aurrors, who joins the order in her first year on the job. She’s dedicated, smart, she knows what’s right and she’s gonna fight for it. She’s got a heart of gold, shes funny and lighthearted which is the perfect counter to Remus’ constant doom and gloom. If you read it as they were together during OOTP (the subtext is there), he leaves to go off to do werewolf stuff because he thinks she can do better than him and she is so devastated, her patronus changes to take his form and she is so upset she cant use her powers. Remus leaves her again when she is pregnant because he is scared and she still takes him back. And you think Tonks doesnt deserve him??? All she wants is for him to be happy and feel loved and he is too afraid to accept that love.

Sure we don’t see her as often in the books but there are plenty of clues that she is super dedicated to Remus and their relationship, he is the one always pulling back because he is afraid. But she is always there for him when he comes back round. I know people have different reads on this relationship because its not written into the canon so obviously but I dont think you can say just because you dont know someone you dont want them to be with someone you care about. Maybe... get to know them?

tl;dr Tonks is great and deserves the relationship she fought tooth and nail for, Remus needs to stop being so dumb and let people love him. The end.

Why I don't ship Remus and Tonks

The idea of Remus and Tonks together make me happy and anxious at the same time. I adore Remus. His heart is full of kindess and love, and the sad part is that he is willing to give that to everybody else except to himself. He just wouldn't extend his kindness to himself, like he does to others. He is my precious little baby.

Tonks, on the other hand, is happy to the core. She is sure of herself, and yet has a childlike innocence. The problem is we just don't get to see a lot of Tonks. We just don't know her the way we do Remus. And this is why even though the idea of Tonks irrevocably loving Remus warms my heart, I still have my apprehensions about them being together.

I just feel like I don't know Tonks well enough to be comforted by thinking about her with Remus. I just don't feel safe handing over my baby to Tonks, without knowing much about her.

Remus Lupin deserves the world. I am just not sure if Tonks deserves Remus.